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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,093 --> 00:00:08,694 [Music playing] 2 00:00:13,801 --> 00:00:16,579 [Man narrating] All my life I wanted to party like a frat star 3 00:00:16,603 --> 00:00:19,004 at Mason-Dixon University, 4 00:00:19,039 --> 00:00:21,373 the biggest fucking party school in the south, 5 00:00:21,408 --> 00:00:24,877 and I wanted to do it at Alpha Chi Gamma. 6 00:00:24,912 --> 00:00:26,523 Their parties were one big wet dream 7 00:00:26,547 --> 00:00:28,714 filled with booze, drugs, 8 00:00:28,749 --> 00:00:31,050 and sex-starved sorority girls. 9 00:00:31,085 --> 00:00:34,753 ♪ We're gonna drink the night away ♪ 10 00:00:34,788 --> 00:00:38,457 ♪ Even though there's nothing to celebrate ♪ 11 00:00:38,492 --> 00:00:42,561 ♪ Shot after shot, keg after keg ♪ 12 00:00:42,596 --> 00:00:45,731 ♪ I'm about to take this to the grave ♪ 13 00:00:45,766 --> 00:00:47,466 ♪ To the grave ♪ 14 00:00:47,501 --> 00:00:49,045 ♪ Let's go put your shots in the sky ♪ 15 00:00:49,069 --> 00:00:50,780 ♪ I wanna see you raise your glass up high ♪ 16 00:00:50,804 --> 00:00:52,649 ♪ Sparkle like it's the fourth of July ♪ 17 00:00:52,673 --> 00:00:54,551 ♪ Bottles and models are young and they're fly ♪ 18 00:00:54,575 --> 00:00:56,386 ♪ ladies they're nothin' but rubbin' my chest ♪ 19 00:00:56,410 --> 00:00:58,444 ♪ Baby, I just wanna see you undress ♪ 20 00:00:58,479 --> 00:01:00,490 ♪ She workin', she twerkin', I'm smackin' her booty ♪ 21 00:01:00,514 --> 00:01:02,592 ♪ The camera was flashin', we all in this movie ♪ 22 00:01:02,616 --> 00:01:04,383 ♪ I'm drunk, I'm faded ♪ 23 00:01:04,418 --> 00:01:06,352 ♪ She worked that, she wasted ♪ 24 00:01:06,387 --> 00:01:07,897 ♪ Her hair and t-shirt wet ♪ 25 00:01:07,921 --> 00:01:10,022 ♪ Dancin' like she's havin' sex ♪ 26 00:01:10,057 --> 00:01:11,957 ♪ She know the homies watchin' ♪ 27 00:01:11,992 --> 00:01:13,837 ♪ Turn up, let's get it poppin' ♪ 28 00:01:13,861 --> 00:01:15,739 ♪ More beer, cognac, and vodka ♪ 29 00:01:15,763 --> 00:01:17,107 ♪ Here's so nothin' could stop her ♪ 30 00:01:17,131 --> 00:01:19,965 ♪ We're gonna drink the night away ♪ 31 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:23,669 ♪ Even though there's nothin' to celebrate ♪ 32 00:01:23,704 --> 00:01:27,439 ♪ Shot after shot, keg after keg ♪ 33 00:01:27,474 --> 00:01:30,642 ♪I'mma about to take this to the grave ♪ 34 00:01:30,677 --> 00:01:32,544 - Yeah! - ♪ to the grave ♪ 35 00:01:32,579 --> 00:01:34,124 ♪ It's sorta like a fast car switchin' lanes ♪ 36 00:01:34,148 --> 00:01:36,059 ♪ Couple more beers my pitch'll change ♪ 37 00:01:36,083 --> 00:01:38,150 ♪ She should be the face of maybelline ♪ 38 00:01:38,185 --> 00:01:40,130 ♪ And maybe I'm just truckin' every girl I'm seein' ♪ 39 00:01:40,154 --> 00:01:42,054 ♪ We grindin' on the floor ♪ 40 00:01:42,089 --> 00:01:43,800 ♪ They keep askin' for more ♪ 41 00:01:43,824 --> 00:01:45,535 ♪ Party like tomorrow's my last day ♪ 42 00:01:45,559 --> 00:01:47,036 ♪ I'm all the way gone, I work hard to play ♪ 43 00:01:47,060 --> 00:01:50,162 ♪ We're gonna drink the night away ♪ 44 00:01:50,197 --> 00:01:53,899 ♪ Even though there's nothin' to celebrate ♪ 45 00:01:53,934 --> 00:01:56,669 ♪ Shot after shot... ♪ 46 00:01:59,106 --> 00:02:00,617 [Top pops off can, liquid pouring] 47 00:02:00,641 --> 00:02:02,174 [Music playing] 48 00:02:02,209 --> 00:02:03,987 [Man narrating] Alpha chi was in my blood. 49 00:02:04,011 --> 00:02:06,089 My great grandfather was an Alpha president 50 00:02:06,113 --> 00:02:09,581 and my father torch was an Alpha party legend. 51 00:02:09,616 --> 00:02:11,428 I grew up on stories of Debauchery 52 00:02:11,452 --> 00:02:14,653 and Alpha's big rivalry with Kappa Nu. 53 00:02:14,688 --> 00:02:16,166 All my life I wanted to grow up 54 00:02:16,190 --> 00:02:17,990 and party like a frat star, 55 00:02:18,025 --> 00:02:19,691 and now was my time. 56 00:02:19,726 --> 00:02:21,794 And all I had to do was become one. 57 00:02:21,829 --> 00:02:23,840 [Man ♪2] Stay in your god damn ice bucket. 58 00:02:23,864 --> 00:02:26,665 You guys are the saddest, sorriest, most pathetic 59 00:02:26,700 --> 00:02:28,812 bunch of fucking pussies I've ever seen in my life. 60 00:02:28,836 --> 00:02:30,947 The Sorority's next door, you little bitches. 61 00:02:30,971 --> 00:02:33,806 This is hell week. It's supposed to be tough. 62 00:02:33,841 --> 00:02:35,685 This is what separates the real alphas 63 00:02:35,709 --> 00:02:37,576 from crying pussies like you. 64 00:02:37,611 --> 00:02:38,922 What's wrong with you guys? 65 00:02:38,946 --> 00:02:40,657 Hang in there, boys, we got this. 66 00:02:40,681 --> 00:02:43,193 - Hang in there. -Did I ask you to speak, pledge? 67 00:02:43,217 --> 00:02:45,150 No sir, Alex fucking Watson, sir. 68 00:02:45,185 --> 00:02:48,620 Can you die of hypothermia, man? 69 00:02:48,655 --> 00:02:50,122 Suck it up, Coleman. 70 00:02:50,157 --> 00:02:51,935 - I'm sorry, thank you, sir. - You're pussies. 71 00:02:51,959 --> 00:02:53,470 I don't think I can make it, Charlie. 72 00:02:53,494 --> 00:02:55,572 My dick has gone all the way back inside me. 73 00:02:55,596 --> 00:02:56,962 It's retreated. 74 00:02:56,997 --> 00:02:58,708 We don't retreat, John, just stay in there. 75 00:02:58,732 --> 00:03:00,610 - Just stay right there. - Does anybody else have 76 00:03:00,634 --> 00:03:02,078 a weird fucking boner right now? 77 00:03:02,102 --> 00:03:04,603 Did I ask to hear about your fucking codicil glitch? 78 00:03:04,638 --> 00:03:07,239 - Oh god, I can't make it! - Stay right there, John. 79 00:03:07,274 --> 00:03:08,952 Don't... stay in. Stick with it, come on. 80 00:03:08,976 --> 00:03:11,677 Yeah, you gonna quit, MacGyver, 81 00:03:11,712 --> 00:03:14,480 - huh, you gonna give up? - Yes, sir, I think I am. 82 00:03:14,515 --> 00:03:16,025 I'll take his time. I'll take John's time. 83 00:03:16,049 --> 00:03:18,550 Now, why would you do that? 84 00:03:18,585 --> 00:03:20,886 You enjoy having frozen balls, pledge? 85 00:03:20,921 --> 00:03:22,488 No, sir. 86 00:03:22,523 --> 00:03:25,657 I enjoy my balls at a healthy 95 degrees, sir. 87 00:03:25,692 --> 00:03:27,003 But if one brother falls, we all fall, 88 00:03:27,027 --> 00:03:28,605 and I can't let that happen, sir. 89 00:03:28,629 --> 00:03:30,707 Fuck, yeah, give me some of MacGyver's time, too. 90 00:03:30,731 --> 00:03:31,941 My cock and balls have weathered 91 00:03:31,965 --> 00:03:33,543 worse storms than this shit. 92 00:03:33,567 --> 00:03:35,868 Whew! 93 00:03:35,903 --> 00:03:37,903 Who else takes a dive, too? 94 00:03:37,938 --> 00:03:39,215 - Yeah! - Yeah! 95 00:03:39,239 --> 00:03:42,641 - I'll take his time. - [All cheering] 96 00:03:42,676 --> 00:03:44,142 Yes! 97 00:03:44,177 --> 00:03:46,289 Finally you shitheads are starting to understand. 98 00:03:46,313 --> 00:03:49,982 Brotherhood is unity. Congratulations, Charlie. 99 00:03:50,017 --> 00:03:51,194 Looks like you got a little bit 100 00:03:51,218 --> 00:03:52,962 of your old man in you after all. 101 00:03:52,986 --> 00:03:54,831 Get this cocksucker out of this ice bucket. 102 00:03:54,855 --> 00:03:56,856 Take me out. 103 00:04:00,027 --> 00:04:02,694 My dick looks like a sun-dried tomato. 104 00:04:02,729 --> 00:04:05,030 More like a god damn douchenozzle. 105 00:04:05,065 --> 00:04:07,232 - Douche, douche. - Fucking douchenozzle. 106 00:04:07,267 --> 00:04:09,167 [Laughing] 107 00:04:09,202 --> 00:04:11,848 [All chanting] Douchenozzle! Douchenozzle! Douchenozzle! 108 00:04:11,872 --> 00:04:13,038 [Cheering] 109 00:04:13,073 --> 00:04:16,275 Yeah, boy! Douchenozzle! 110 00:04:16,310 --> 00:04:17,921 [Charlie narrating] Believe it or not, 111 00:04:17,945 --> 00:04:19,589 this was the best fucking day 112 00:04:19,613 --> 00:04:20,613 of my life. 113 00:04:20,647 --> 00:04:22,047 [Music playing] 114 00:04:22,082 --> 00:04:23,893 ♪ 'Cause it's been a long week ♪ 115 00:04:23,917 --> 00:04:25,684 ♪ And it's way overdue ♪ 116 00:04:25,719 --> 00:04:29,054 I came to party, have fun, stress free with my crew ♪ 117 00:04:29,089 --> 00:04:31,757 ♪ Oh, yeah, girl, let's get drunk now ♪ 118 00:04:31,792 --> 00:04:33,992 ♪ It's time to forget about it ♪ 119 00:04:34,027 --> 00:04:35,661 ♪ We came to party ♪ 120 00:04:35,696 --> 00:04:37,829 ♪ It's time to forget about it ♪ 121 00:04:37,864 --> 00:04:39,264 ♪ We're taking shots now ♪ 122 00:04:39,299 --> 00:04:41,633 ♪ It's time to forget about it ♪ 123 00:04:41,668 --> 00:04:43,168 ♪ Don't ask no questions ♪ 124 00:04:43,203 --> 00:04:45,237 ♪ It's time to forget about it ♪ 125 00:04:45,272 --> 00:04:47,273 [Vocalizing] 126 00:04:50,777 --> 00:04:53,879 ♪ It's time to forget about it ♪ 127 00:04:53,914 --> 00:04:55,781 Douchenozzle! 128 00:04:55,816 --> 00:04:57,961 - I'm fucking MacGyver, man. - Will you relax, man? 129 00:04:57,985 --> 00:04:59,295 Just drink it in, brother. 130 00:04:59,319 --> 00:05:01,230 Welcome to the next four years of our lives. 131 00:05:01,254 --> 00:05:04,122 - A-fucking-men, Charlie. - You sons of bitches. 132 00:05:04,157 --> 00:05:06,692 Get over here, Billy. 133 00:05:06,727 --> 00:05:09,161 Zero fucks will be given tonight, boy! 134 00:05:09,196 --> 00:05:11,096 [All cheering] 135 00:05:11,131 --> 00:05:13,966 Hey, Chuck, this is, um... 136 00:05:14,001 --> 00:05:16,068 You don't even know my name, do you? 137 00:05:16,103 --> 00:05:18,081 No, baby, I swear I do know your name. 138 00:05:18,105 --> 00:05:21,607 It's uh... slam-piece. 139 00:05:21,642 --> 00:05:24,643 It's sophie, you fucking asshole. 140 00:05:24,678 --> 00:05:26,745 Nice to meet you, sophie. 141 00:05:26,780 --> 00:05:28,180 I was in the ballpark. 142 00:05:28,215 --> 00:05:30,649 Holy fuck, this isn't a dream, is it, boys? 143 00:05:30,684 --> 00:05:32,851 No, douchenozzle, it's not a fucking dream. 144 00:05:32,886 --> 00:05:36,088 Douchenozzle? That's what we're going with? 145 00:05:36,123 --> 00:05:37,934 You guys didn't like sun-dried tomato? 146 00:05:37,958 --> 00:05:39,658 No, we hated it. 147 00:05:39,693 --> 00:05:42,661 Wheel of fellatio! 148 00:05:42,696 --> 00:05:46,264 ♪ If you have time to party and you gotta go home ♪ 149 00:05:46,299 --> 00:05:49,835 ♪ It's a party all night check the double-shot zone ♪ 150 00:05:49,870 --> 00:05:51,870 ♪ Tell the dj turn it loud ♪ 151 00:05:51,905 --> 00:05:54,840 ♪ 'Cause you got it goin' down ♪ 152 00:05:54,875 --> 00:05:56,609 [All yelling] 153 00:05:58,311 --> 00:06:00,045 ♪ Set forth in fact ♪ 154 00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:01,891 ♪ Shorty got a Booty make you break your neck ♪ 155 00:06:01,915 --> 00:06:03,993 ♪ Uh, I'm shining lights, camera, action ♪ 156 00:06:04,017 --> 00:06:05,795 ♪ Come on, baby, I'm trying to get some action ♪ 157 00:06:05,819 --> 00:06:07,263 ♪ Now you like it, bend it off ♪ 158 00:06:07,287 --> 00:06:09,198 ♪ Feeling myself, now it's time to boss ♪ 159 00:06:09,222 --> 00:06:11,100 ♪ Yeah, I'm feeling myself, now it's time to ball ♪ 160 00:06:11,124 --> 00:06:13,792 ♪ Feeling myself, now it's time to ball ♪ 161 00:06:13,827 --> 00:06:16,161 Oh, Billy, just think your dad and my dad 162 00:06:16,196 --> 00:06:17,940 stood in these exact same spots, 163 00:06:17,964 --> 00:06:19,876 drinking the same shit, telling the same stories 164 00:06:19,900 --> 00:06:21,177 while getting hanging doggies 165 00:06:21,201 --> 00:06:22,779 and Tennessee chugger's of their own. 166 00:06:22,803 --> 00:06:25,103 To sons of Alpha fathers. We did it, buddy. 167 00:06:25,138 --> 00:06:26,449 - We did it. - To your father, man. 168 00:06:26,473 --> 00:06:28,040 My dad's a dick. 169 00:06:28,075 --> 00:06:29,341 [Music playing] 170 00:06:29,376 --> 00:06:32,210 [All] A-l-p-h-a, C-h-i! 171 00:06:32,245 --> 00:06:34,746 Alpha Chi! Alpha Chi! Alpha Chi! 172 00:06:34,781 --> 00:06:36,915 [Cheering] 173 00:06:36,950 --> 00:06:38,417 Woo! 174 00:06:38,452 --> 00:06:40,263 - Charlie, everything ready? - Yes, sir, it is. 175 00:06:40,287 --> 00:06:42,265 I got my hands on some insane chinese fireworks. 176 00:06:42,289 --> 00:06:44,033 It's gonna look like world war iii out there. 177 00:06:44,057 --> 00:06:45,368 All right, let's go to the backyard. 178 00:06:45,392 --> 00:06:46,803 - Don't fuck it up. - I won't, baby. 179 00:06:46,827 --> 00:06:48,037 - See you out there. - Oh, hold on. 180 00:06:48,061 --> 00:06:49,072 China isn't exactly known 181 00:06:49,096 --> 00:06:50,729 for their safety regulations. 182 00:06:50,764 --> 00:06:52,375 Would you relax, douchenozzle, okay? 183 00:06:52,399 --> 00:06:53,432 Let's go. 184 00:06:53,467 --> 00:06:56,468 [All] Wheel of fellatio! 185 00:06:56,503 --> 00:06:58,437 [Music playing] 186 00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:09,181 To the leaders of tomorrow, 187 00:07:09,216 --> 00:07:11,127 not being able to remember tonight! 188 00:07:11,151 --> 00:07:13,452 [All cheering] 189 00:07:13,487 --> 00:07:15,164 We got our new brother Charlie coming out 190 00:07:15,188 --> 00:07:16,232 with a big surprise... 191 00:07:16,256 --> 00:07:18,457 Any second now. 192 00:07:18,492 --> 00:07:19,925 Let's go, guys. 193 00:07:21,528 --> 00:07:25,063 - Freeze, assholes. - And if we refuse? 194 00:07:25,098 --> 00:07:26,409 Then I'll pump 20 gallons of vodka 195 00:07:26,433 --> 00:07:28,277 into that cute, little face of yours. 196 00:07:28,301 --> 00:07:31,470 They're bluffing. 197 00:07:31,505 --> 00:07:34,306 - [Yelling] - Ah, give it to me. 198 00:07:34,341 --> 00:07:36,119 Fuck you guys, is that all you got? 199 00:07:36,143 --> 00:07:38,221 -[Alex] Trying to keep them safe. - Oh, wow. 200 00:07:38,245 --> 00:07:40,512 - That's impressive. - What can I say? 201 00:07:40,547 --> 00:07:42,391 I'm a daughter of the american revolution. 202 00:07:42,415 --> 00:07:44,160 Look, ladies, you're super hot. 203 00:07:44,184 --> 00:07:46,295 - We would love to stand here and talk... -[Alex] Charlie! 204 00:07:46,319 --> 00:07:48,186 But we really got to go. 205 00:07:48,221 --> 00:07:50,889 - Oh. - No. 206 00:07:50,924 --> 00:07:53,425 No, I think we can hang out for a minute. 207 00:07:53,460 --> 00:07:55,427 - Oops. - I... you know... 208 00:07:55,462 --> 00:07:57,273 I have a seat reserved for you, 209 00:07:57,297 --> 00:07:59,131 [sniffs] On my face. 210 00:07:59,166 --> 00:08:01,377 [Alex] Charlie Martin, get your ass to the stage. 211 00:08:01,401 --> 00:08:04,336 - Listen... - Katie. 212 00:08:04,371 --> 00:08:06,449 Look, I would love nothing more than to sit here 213 00:08:06,473 --> 00:08:08,017 and have a wonderful conversation 214 00:08:08,041 --> 00:08:09,852 with you, but I really need to get up there. 215 00:08:09,876 --> 00:08:11,521 - Come on, guys. - No, I vote that 216 00:08:11,545 --> 00:08:13,845 we just keep looking at their tits. 217 00:08:13,880 --> 00:08:15,847 - [Cell phone ringing] - Oh. 218 00:08:15,882 --> 00:08:17,193 - It's AJ. - Uh-huh. 219 00:08:17,217 --> 00:08:19,384 - Good to go. - Yeah. 220 00:08:19,419 --> 00:08:21,264 All right, boys, you're free to go. 221 00:08:21,288 --> 00:08:24,856 Hey, listen, when I climax tonight, 222 00:08:24,891 --> 00:08:26,402 - and I will... - Ugh. 223 00:08:26,426 --> 00:08:29,060 You're the one I'm gonna be thinking about. 224 00:08:29,095 --> 00:08:30,306 [Alex] Charlie, get to the stage. 225 00:08:30,330 --> 00:08:31,930 Ugh, what a douche. 226 00:08:31,965 --> 00:08:34,043 Billy, sometimes you just sound like Shakespeare. 227 00:08:34,067 --> 00:08:36,579 - Doesn't he? Come on, let's go. - I'm fucking poet. 228 00:08:36,603 --> 00:08:38,581 All right, here he is. What the fuck, man? 229 00:08:38,605 --> 00:08:40,072 All right, sorry. 230 00:08:43,109 --> 00:08:46,812 - All right. - [All] Three, two, one... 231 00:08:46,847 --> 00:08:50,783 - [Music playing] - [Cheering] 232 00:08:55,355 --> 00:08:57,589 Oh, fuck yeah! 233 00:08:57,624 --> 00:09:00,158 [All yelling] 234 00:09:00,193 --> 00:09:01,873 [Chanting] Alpha Chi! 235 00:09:16,243 --> 00:09:18,154 [Computerized voice] Error, system overload. 236 00:09:18,178 --> 00:09:22,614 - Error. Error. Error. - God damn! Uh-oh! 237 00:09:22,649 --> 00:09:25,183 That one was pretty fucking close to the stage. 238 00:09:25,218 --> 00:09:27,219 No, no, no, I got it. I got it. 239 00:09:27,254 --> 00:09:29,232 - I got it. - You need to turn these off. 240 00:09:29,256 --> 00:09:31,489 Trust me. Here comes the big one. 241 00:09:31,524 --> 00:09:36,561 - [Beep] - Watch this. 242 00:09:36,596 --> 00:09:39,298 [Yelling continues] 243 00:09:50,510 --> 00:09:52,288 [John] Man, china's got to get 244 00:09:52,312 --> 00:09:53,656 their safety regulations together. 245 00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:56,181 Well, I mean, things can be worse, right? 246 00:09:56,216 --> 00:09:59,351 [Glass shatters] 247 00:09:59,386 --> 00:10:00,619 What the fuck, man? 248 00:10:00,654 --> 00:10:02,231 You fucking ruined the fucking house. 249 00:10:02,255 --> 00:10:04,335 Your first fucking party, look what you do. 250 00:10:10,030 --> 00:10:12,241 [Charlie narrating] I felt terrible about what happened. 251 00:10:12,265 --> 00:10:14,232 But I knew we were in deep shit 252 00:10:14,267 --> 00:10:16,245 unless we could convince the one person 253 00:10:16,269 --> 00:10:18,047 who held our fate in his hands, 254 00:10:18,071 --> 00:10:19,371 Dean Kravitz. 255 00:10:19,406 --> 00:10:21,083 [Dean Kravitz] This is Alpha house, 256 00:10:21,107 --> 00:10:22,240 the most historically 257 00:10:22,275 --> 00:10:24,943 significant landmark on campus. 258 00:10:24,978 --> 00:10:26,378 A palace. 259 00:10:26,413 --> 00:10:29,014 And these are you hooligans. 260 00:10:29,049 --> 00:10:30,215 See? 261 00:10:30,250 --> 00:10:32,090 Children playing in the field. 262 00:10:32,118 --> 00:10:34,953 "Hi. Hi. Look, fireworks." 263 00:10:34,988 --> 00:10:38,023 Fireworks going off. We're having fun. 264 00:10:38,058 --> 00:10:42,628 "Yay! Yay! Yay!" 265 00:10:49,269 --> 00:10:50,402 [Yelling] 266 00:10:54,607 --> 00:10:57,242 Your charter is revoked. 267 00:10:57,277 --> 00:10:59,244 [Grandfather clock chimes] 268 00:10:59,279 --> 00:11:01,123 [Charlie narrating] And just like that, 269 00:11:01,147 --> 00:11:02,981 with the ink of one stamp, 270 00:11:03,016 --> 00:11:05,517 I lost my house, my brothers, 271 00:11:05,552 --> 00:11:07,119 and my dream. 272 00:11:16,429 --> 00:11:19,397 Of course, life goes on, seasons change, 273 00:11:19,432 --> 00:11:22,000 fraternities rush, butts chug. 274 00:11:27,374 --> 00:11:29,218 And what do I have to show for the last three years 275 00:11:29,242 --> 00:11:30,375 of my life? 276 00:11:32,779 --> 00:11:34,546 Lingering guilt, 277 00:11:34,581 --> 00:11:38,049 an embarrassing obsession with "orange is the new black." 278 00:11:38,084 --> 00:11:39,228 - And this dick. - [Boing sound] 279 00:11:39,252 --> 00:11:41,019 Charlie. 280 00:11:41,054 --> 00:11:45,590 Charlie Martin. It's me, Jonesy. 281 00:11:45,625 --> 00:11:47,392 Room 225. 282 00:11:47,427 --> 00:11:49,561 - You're my R.A. - Am I? 283 00:11:49,596 --> 00:11:51,107 - You are. - Great. 284 00:11:51,131 --> 00:11:52,708 I was wondering if it's okay 285 00:11:52,732 --> 00:11:56,401 if I use the common room for a few hours in private. 286 00:11:56,436 --> 00:11:58,547 I'm on the verge of a huge breakthrough - Why don't you 287 00:11:58,571 --> 00:12:01,183 - ...in my research. -Just call it jerking off like everyone else? 288 00:12:01,207 --> 00:12:03,119 Well, because it's not jerking off, actually. 289 00:12:03,143 --> 00:12:05,087 [Man on loud speaker] All right, listen up. 290 00:12:05,111 --> 00:12:07,212 I'm Alexander Julius chesterfield cranston 291 00:12:07,247 --> 00:12:11,449 - of Kappa Nu. - [Students] Woo! Kappa Nu! 292 00:12:11,484 --> 00:12:13,685 Do you party like a god-damned rock star? 293 00:12:13,720 --> 00:12:15,387 [Girls] Yeah! 294 00:12:15,422 --> 00:12:17,756 Do you wanna blackout and bang hot "soristitutes"? 295 00:12:17,791 --> 00:12:19,758 [Girls] Yeah! 296 00:12:19,793 --> 00:12:23,361 Do you eat so much pussy that you get lockjaw? 297 00:12:23,396 --> 00:12:24,707 [Girls] Oh, yeah! 298 00:12:24,731 --> 00:12:26,042 Do you have anal beads hanging 299 00:12:26,066 --> 00:12:27,665 from your rearview mirror? 300 00:12:27,700 --> 00:12:30,235 [Girls] Huh? 301 00:12:30,270 --> 00:12:32,771 - Then pledge Kappa Nu! - [Girls cheering] 302 00:12:32,806 --> 00:12:35,540 Fucktards need not apply. 303 00:12:35,575 --> 00:12:37,308 Get the fuck outta here! 304 00:12:37,343 --> 00:12:38,643 Man. 305 00:12:38,678 --> 00:12:42,313 Being in a frat would be so awesome. 306 00:12:42,348 --> 00:12:44,616 It's not a frat, it's a fraternity. 307 00:12:44,651 --> 00:12:47,585 Would you call your country a cunt? 308 00:12:47,620 --> 00:12:49,054 Wouldn't that be "count"? 309 00:12:50,423 --> 00:12:51,689 No? 310 00:12:51,724 --> 00:12:53,335 If you wanna join a fraternity so bad, 311 00:12:53,359 --> 00:12:56,161 - why don't you rush? - You heard the the man. 312 00:12:56,196 --> 00:12:58,296 "Fucktards need not apply." 313 00:12:58,331 --> 00:13:00,465 Oh, yeah. Kappa Nu! 314 00:13:00,500 --> 00:13:02,801 Okay. [Laughs] 315 00:13:02,836 --> 00:13:05,604 So, the common room. 316 00:13:07,707 --> 00:13:10,108 Right. Whatever, man. 317 00:13:10,143 --> 00:13:11,754 - You got it. - Awesome. 318 00:13:11,778 --> 00:13:13,311 Thanks, Charlie. 319 00:13:13,346 --> 00:13:15,580 [Music playing, record scratching] 320 00:13:23,690 --> 00:13:29,427 ♪ I can't wait to breathe and see the son today ♪ 321 00:13:29,462 --> 00:13:31,763 ♪ Is that asking for much? ♪ 322 00:13:31,798 --> 00:13:37,469 A-I-p-h-a, C-h-i! 323 00:13:37,504 --> 00:13:40,505 Alpha Chi! Alpha Chi! Alpha Chi! 324 00:13:40,540 --> 00:13:44,209 Are there any Alpha Chis out there? 325 00:13:44,244 --> 00:13:45,477 Any alphas! 326 00:13:47,680 --> 00:13:49,581 ♪ Is that asking for much? ♪ 327 00:13:49,616 --> 00:13:52,150 [Thunder rumbles] 328 00:13:52,185 --> 00:13:54,486 ♪ Having some of the best times of my life ♪ 329 00:13:54,521 --> 00:13:56,398 ♪ Couldn't see my past, my future was too bright ♪ 330 00:13:56,422 --> 00:13:58,334 ♪ Livin' the legacy, no one ahead of me ♪ 331 00:13:58,358 --> 00:14:00,169 ♪ Would that be the moment I became a better me ♪ 332 00:14:00,193 --> 00:14:01,770 ♪ Honesty, royalty, that is my pedigree ♪ 333 00:14:01,794 --> 00:14:04,195 ♪ This is the truth and it set me free ♪ 334 00:14:04,230 --> 00:14:05,808 ♪ Happily I walked in destiny ♪ 335 00:14:05,832 --> 00:14:07,643 ♪ And obstacles ain't got the best of me... ♪ 336 00:14:07,667 --> 00:14:09,401 Ugh! [Coughs] 337 00:14:11,404 --> 00:14:13,182 ♪ I'm makin' it happen while livin' it ♪ 338 00:14:13,206 --> 00:14:14,650 ♪ Hubbard's a plus, no derivative ♪ 339 00:14:14,674 --> 00:14:16,719 ♪ I stepped up and tipped the initiative ♪ 340 00:14:16,743 --> 00:14:18,387 ♪ No slackin' I gave all I got to give ♪ 341 00:14:18,411 --> 00:14:20,278 ♪ My education is first ♪ 342 00:14:20,313 --> 00:14:21,857 ♪ I kept it movin' 'cause things can be worse ♪ 343 00:14:21,881 --> 00:14:23,526 [Echoing] ♪ worse, worse, worse, worse ♪ 344 00:14:23,550 --> 00:14:24,682 ♪ Hey hey ♪ 345 00:14:24,717 --> 00:14:26,462 ♪ The best days of my life ♪ 346 00:14:26,486 --> 00:14:30,255 ♪ Are forever and praise ♪ 347 00:14:30,290 --> 00:14:32,891 ♪ Hey ♪ - ♪ I die ♪ 348 00:14:32,926 --> 00:14:38,229 ♪ I stare success in the face ♪ 349 00:14:38,264 --> 00:14:41,699 ♪ And I will win not far ♪ 350 00:14:41,734 --> 00:14:44,936 ♪ I will sure not crawl ♪ 351 00:14:44,971 --> 00:14:47,272 ♪ They say hard work pays off ♪ 352 00:14:47,307 --> 00:14:50,675 ♪ Yes, I know it's true... ♪ 353 00:14:50,710 --> 00:14:51,910 Cheers, dad. 354 00:14:55,215 --> 00:14:56,748 Hey, dad. 355 00:14:59,919 --> 00:15:01,419 I hear you! 356 00:15:01,454 --> 00:15:03,788 I won't give up. 357 00:15:03,823 --> 00:15:06,658 As god is my witness, I will get this house back. 358 00:15:06,693 --> 00:15:09,761 I won't give up. I won't relent. 359 00:15:09,796 --> 00:15:11,463 I won't yield. 360 00:15:15,268 --> 00:15:16,768 I love you, dad. 361 00:15:23,810 --> 00:15:26,778 [Aj] A room. Hillman, boys, look what we found here. 362 00:15:26,813 --> 00:15:28,424 [Laughing] Look at him. 363 00:15:28,448 --> 00:15:30,215 Dude, it's [Mumbles]. 364 00:15:34,487 --> 00:15:37,555 - Wake up, motherfucker. - What the fuck is this? 365 00:15:37,590 --> 00:15:39,435 This is me taking over your fucking house 366 00:15:39,459 --> 00:15:41,859 'cause in six days, this is gonna be property 367 00:15:41,894 --> 00:15:43,973 -of Kappa Nu. -Yeah, in your fucking dreams, asshole. 368 00:15:43,997 --> 00:15:47,432 Three years ago, you trashed this motherfucking place. 369 00:15:47,467 --> 00:15:49,634 And now, no one's occupying it. 370 00:15:49,669 --> 00:15:53,371 And MDU rules state, I can legally take over. 371 00:15:53,406 --> 00:15:55,017 Yeah, over my dead body you're gonna take over. 372 00:15:55,041 --> 00:15:56,808 - [Laughs] - [Yells] 373 00:15:56,843 --> 00:15:58,854 However you want it, man. However the fuck you want it. 374 00:15:58,878 --> 00:16:00,489 - Let's do this. - [Laughs] 375 00:16:00,513 --> 00:16:02,013 Oh, what the fuck? 376 00:16:02,048 --> 00:16:03,892 What're you gonna do, draw dicks on my forehead? 377 00:16:03,916 --> 00:16:06,317 - That's real original, AJ! - Yeah, we thought about that. 378 00:16:06,352 --> 00:16:07,563 But actually, we got something 379 00:16:07,587 --> 00:16:10,488 a little more creative in mind for you. 380 00:16:10,523 --> 00:16:13,524 Right? Right? Guys, shut the fuck up. 381 00:16:13,559 --> 00:16:15,460 [Charlie grunting] 382 00:16:16,729 --> 00:16:18,697 [Panting] 383 00:16:22,535 --> 00:16:23,935 Oh, shit. 384 00:16:23,970 --> 00:16:25,937 [Screams] 385 00:16:25,972 --> 00:16:27,405 [Groaning] 386 00:16:42,522 --> 00:16:43,755 What's this? 387 00:16:45,892 --> 00:16:48,003 [Charlie narrating] The way to get back our fraternity 388 00:16:48,027 --> 00:16:50,528 was right there in front of me. 389 00:16:50,563 --> 00:16:52,041 Who would've thought you could find such 390 00:16:52,065 --> 00:16:53,809 useful information in a book? 391 00:16:53,833 --> 00:16:55,033 Son of a bitch. 392 00:16:55,068 --> 00:16:56,368 [Grunts] 393 00:17:05,778 --> 00:17:08,479 [Girl moaning loudly] 394 00:17:08,514 --> 00:17:10,682 - Billy! Ah... - [Moaning continues] 395 00:17:10,717 --> 00:17:13,017 - Sorry, man. - Dude, what the fuck? 396 00:17:13,052 --> 00:17:15,386 Why do you have a dildo glued to your forehead? 397 00:17:15,421 --> 00:17:17,322 It's a long story. 398 00:17:17,357 --> 00:17:18,600 It doesn't look too long to me. 399 00:17:18,624 --> 00:17:20,525 You're busy. I'll come back. 400 00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:24,529 No, no, no, you're cool. Uh, chuckles, this is um... 401 00:17:24,564 --> 00:17:25,730 Stacey. 402 00:17:25,765 --> 00:17:27,832 Yeah, look, I got big news. 403 00:17:27,867 --> 00:17:30,368 Living room, what, five minutes? 404 00:17:33,973 --> 00:17:35,517 I think I'm gonna need a little longer 405 00:17:35,541 --> 00:17:36,507 than five minutes. 406 00:17:36,542 --> 00:17:39,377 Good luck. All right. 407 00:17:45,418 --> 00:17:47,919 Um... 408 00:17:47,954 --> 00:17:50,455 - You have a dildo... - Dildo on my forehead, I know. 409 00:17:50,490 --> 00:17:53,658 [Laughs] Are you jacking it to Billy having sex? 410 00:17:53,693 --> 00:17:55,426 No. [Scoffs] 411 00:17:55,461 --> 00:17:58,029 I wasn't jerking off listening to Billy have sex. 412 00:17:58,064 --> 00:18:00,732 [Stacey moaning] 413 00:18:00,767 --> 00:18:03,434 I was jerking off listening to Billy have sex. 414 00:18:03,469 --> 00:18:05,770 - Great job in there, bro! - [Billy] Thanks, dude. 415 00:18:05,805 --> 00:18:08,484 - Jesus christ. -I wasn't jerking it to the Billy parts though. 416 00:18:08,508 --> 00:18:10,742 Yeah, look, just finish up, man, and... 417 00:18:10,777 --> 00:18:12,777 And meet me in the fucking living room. 418 00:18:14,814 --> 00:18:16,481 [Moaning] 419 00:18:19,786 --> 00:18:21,130 - Just pull it off, man. - Hold on. 420 00:18:21,154 --> 00:18:22,831 - Hold on... [spits] - Oh, my god. 421 00:18:22,855 --> 00:18:24,466 You just spit on your fucking hand. 422 00:18:24,490 --> 00:18:26,090 - Ugh! - Ooh, shit. 423 00:18:26,125 --> 00:18:28,493 [Shudders] God, man. 424 00:18:28,528 --> 00:18:30,027 Don't fucking smell it. 425 00:18:30,062 --> 00:18:32,074 All right, so what's on your mind, dickhead? 426 00:18:32,098 --> 00:18:34,732 [Laughs] This. 427 00:18:34,767 --> 00:18:37,635 - Oh, sheesh. - Dude, what the fuck? 428 00:18:37,670 --> 00:18:39,915 - That was ikea. -I'm... i'm really... i'm so sorry. 429 00:18:39,939 --> 00:18:41,539 Look, guys. 430 00:18:43,009 --> 00:18:44,153 I found a way for the fraternity 431 00:18:44,177 --> 00:18:45,710 to get reinstated. 432 00:18:45,745 --> 00:18:47,556 Dude, you know the only way we can do that 433 00:18:47,580 --> 00:18:49,981 is if the interfraternity council president approves us. 434 00:18:50,016 --> 00:18:51,727 Yeah, and seeing as how that's AJ, 435 00:18:51,751 --> 00:18:53,918 I highly doubt that's gonna happen. 436 00:18:53,953 --> 00:18:56,521 Yeah, it can if we challenge him to a duel. 437 00:18:56,556 --> 00:18:58,767 A duel? What the fuck are you talking about? 438 00:18:58,791 --> 00:19:01,959 I found a claus from 1876 that states, 439 00:19:01,994 --> 00:19:03,839 "any exiled fraternity can challenge 440 00:19:03,863 --> 00:19:06,431 the interfraternity president to a duel for reinstatement." 441 00:19:06,466 --> 00:19:09,033 Boys, that's our ticket back in. 442 00:19:09,068 --> 00:19:10,946 Are you fucking retarded or something? 443 00:19:10,970 --> 00:19:13,070 I mean, as much as I'd like to shoot AJ, 444 00:19:13,105 --> 00:19:15,684 - I'm not going to. -It doesn't have to be a gunfight, Billy. 445 00:19:15,708 --> 00:19:17,186 It can be anything we want. 446 00:19:17,210 --> 00:19:20,077 Jousting, bolos... 447 00:19:20,112 --> 00:19:23,147 - Fencing. - [Gasps] 448 00:19:23,182 --> 00:19:25,183 - Uh-uh. No fucking way. - Oh, come on. 449 00:19:25,218 --> 00:19:27,129 You were three year junior champion 450 00:19:27,153 --> 00:19:28,553 almost in a row. 451 00:19:28,588 --> 00:19:29,932 - Way to go, Charlie. - Look, Billy. 452 00:19:29,956 --> 00:19:31,956 I know you're scared. 453 00:19:42,702 --> 00:19:46,504 I know it was nasty, but you got through it. 454 00:19:46,539 --> 00:19:48,617 Okay? And Billy, I promise you, 455 00:19:48,641 --> 00:19:50,118 you will not get stabbed in the sack again. 456 00:19:50,142 --> 00:19:52,510 It was my fucking sack, Charlie! 457 00:19:52,545 --> 00:19:54,679 And my fucking ball, man! 458 00:19:54,714 --> 00:19:56,492 And there's nothing that you can fucking say 459 00:19:56,516 --> 00:19:58,216 to make me change my mind. 460 00:19:58,251 --> 00:19:59,695 Is this really how you envision 461 00:19:59,719 --> 00:20:01,686 your college years? Huh? 462 00:20:01,721 --> 00:20:04,155 Looking like some common gdi pieces of shit? 463 00:20:05,825 --> 00:20:07,135 You should be fucking ten's, Billy, 464 00:20:07,159 --> 00:20:08,793 not six's! 465 00:20:08,828 --> 00:20:10,906 Do you have any idea how much it breaks my heart 466 00:20:10,930 --> 00:20:12,663 to see you fuck a six? 467 00:20:12,698 --> 00:20:14,232 [Sighs] 468 00:20:14,267 --> 00:20:16,468 Hey, I'm right here. 469 00:20:19,238 --> 00:20:22,573 Guys, we are the last remaining alphas. 470 00:20:22,608 --> 00:20:24,909 If we don't make this right, we're disappearing. 471 00:20:26,579 --> 00:20:29,046 I can't let that happen, Billy. 472 00:20:29,081 --> 00:20:31,015 What do you say? 473 00:20:31,050 --> 00:20:33,684 I'm with you, Charlie. 474 00:20:33,719 --> 00:20:35,239 - Billy? - Fuck. 475 00:20:37,924 --> 00:20:39,201 [Groans] All right, fine. 476 00:20:39,225 --> 00:20:41,069 But if anything happens to my ballsack, 477 00:20:41,093 --> 00:20:42,804 fucking paper cut, I'mma murder you. 478 00:20:42,828 --> 00:20:44,161 Deal. 479 00:20:44,196 --> 00:20:46,698 I'd love to fuck a six. 480 00:20:48,100 --> 00:20:50,535 A duel? 481 00:20:50,570 --> 00:20:52,047 I'm not falling for that bullshit. 482 00:20:52,071 --> 00:20:54,672 - Nice try. - It's not bullshit, AJ. 483 00:20:54,707 --> 00:20:56,741 It's fancy, leather-bound, and legit. 484 00:20:56,776 --> 00:21:00,811 [Clears throat] "Should he, the shit-sandwich," 485 00:21:00,846 --> 00:21:03,180 that's you, AJ, "refuse to duel" 486 00:21:03,215 --> 00:21:04,860 and the challenging fraternity," 487 00:21:04,884 --> 00:21:09,587 that's us, "will automatically be reinstated." 488 00:21:09,622 --> 00:21:11,289 So... 489 00:21:11,324 --> 00:21:12,757 What's it gonna be? 490 00:21:20,299 --> 00:21:22,277 This is fucked, dude. I look like a fucking asshole. 491 00:21:22,301 --> 00:21:24,302 You don't look like a fucking asshole. 492 00:21:24,337 --> 00:21:26,582 - Yes, I look like a fucking asshole! - I'm sorry, okay? 493 00:21:26,606 --> 00:21:28,350 Your old uniform is all I could find on short notice. 494 00:21:28,374 --> 00:21:29,674 You look great. 495 00:21:31,143 --> 00:21:32,621 - [Uniform tearing] - Ugh! 496 00:21:32,645 --> 00:21:34,056 Fuck, Charlie, I can't fucking do this. 497 00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:35,346 You can and you will. 498 00:21:35,381 --> 00:21:36,747 [Sword swooshing] 499 00:21:36,782 --> 00:21:38,627 Shoulda done your homework, Charlie. 500 00:21:38,651 --> 00:21:41,752 I'm a four-time national fencing world champion. 501 00:21:41,787 --> 00:21:43,599 - Okay, you got your cup on, right? - Yes, yes. 502 00:21:43,623 --> 00:21:45,601 I have my fucking cup and I lost a testicle fencing. 503 00:21:45,625 --> 00:21:46,969 How am I gonna forget my fucking cup 504 00:21:46,993 --> 00:21:48,604 on the fucking fencing field, god damn it? 505 00:21:48,628 --> 00:21:49,972 Okay, I'm sorry. Good. Listen. 506 00:21:49,996 --> 00:21:51,607 You need two points and we got this thing 507 00:21:51,631 --> 00:21:52,597 home free, all right? 508 00:21:52,632 --> 00:21:53,864 Give 'em hell out there. 509 00:21:53,899 --> 00:21:55,277 Here you go. Ready? 510 00:21:55,301 --> 00:21:57,835 Get your face in there. 511 00:21:57,870 --> 00:21:59,136 Ready pretty boy? 512 00:21:59,171 --> 00:22:01,706 Whoever gets two out of three points wins. 513 00:22:01,741 --> 00:22:03,218 Only hits in the chest and face count. 514 00:22:03,242 --> 00:22:04,987 - No cheap shots. - Hey, that's the same thing 515 00:22:05,011 --> 00:22:06,321 your mom tells me after I finish 516 00:22:06,345 --> 00:22:08,223 - busting all over her. - Exact same rules. 517 00:22:08,247 --> 00:22:09,681 On the count of three. 518 00:22:11,117 --> 00:22:13,250 - One, two... - Stop! 519 00:22:13,285 --> 00:22:14,785 [Crowd groans] 520 00:22:14,820 --> 00:22:16,398 I demand to know what is going on here! 521 00:22:16,422 --> 00:22:18,266 Dean Kravitz, I can explain everything. 522 00:22:18,290 --> 00:22:20,157 - Okay? - [Clears throat] 523 00:22:20,192 --> 00:22:22,304 "Any disbarred fraternity can officially challenge"... 524 00:22:22,328 --> 00:22:24,695 "Challenge the fraternity president 525 00:22:24,730 --> 00:22:26,208 to a duel of their choice." 526 00:22:26,232 --> 00:22:27,398 Yes, of course. 527 00:22:27,433 --> 00:22:30,001 The 1876 Mason-Dixon duel clause. 528 00:22:30,036 --> 00:22:32,370 You know about this? 529 00:22:32,405 --> 00:22:34,705 Dean Kravitz, sir, Alpha Chi Gamma 530 00:22:34,740 --> 00:22:36,318 is an institution at this school, 531 00:22:36,342 --> 00:22:37,742 and if we disappear, 532 00:22:37,777 --> 00:22:39,744 that legacy disappears with it. 533 00:22:39,779 --> 00:22:42,380 I owe it to my brothers, past, present, and future, 534 00:22:42,415 --> 00:22:44,255 to put Billy here in harms way 535 00:22:44,283 --> 00:22:45,717 so that doesn't happen. 536 00:22:47,386 --> 00:22:49,687 - The clause stands! - Yes! 537 00:22:49,722 --> 00:22:51,990 But under one condition, Charlie. 538 00:22:56,896 --> 00:22:58,362 Oh, good. 539 00:22:58,397 --> 00:23:01,265 I finally get to fire this thing. 540 00:23:01,300 --> 00:23:04,268 One, two... 541 00:23:04,303 --> 00:23:05,847 - Three! - [Loud bang] 542 00:23:05,871 --> 00:23:07,315 - [Crowd gasps] - Jesus! 543 00:23:07,339 --> 00:23:09,373 - Amazing. - Come on, Billy. 544 00:23:09,408 --> 00:23:10,941 Come on, AJ! 545 00:23:10,976 --> 00:23:12,721 All right, you little bitch, here we go. 546 00:23:12,745 --> 00:23:14,745 - [Swords clinking] - [Grunting] 547 00:23:14,780 --> 00:23:16,247 Hey, let's go, baby! 548 00:23:16,282 --> 00:23:19,283 [Woman] I love your sword, baby. 549 00:23:19,318 --> 00:23:21,919 - Come on, Billy. - [Laughs] 550 00:23:21,954 --> 00:23:24,433 Rook, you look like a used tampon. [Laughs] 551 00:23:24,457 --> 00:23:26,134 Well, AJ, as it turns out, 552 00:23:26,158 --> 00:23:28,392 your mom has not hit menopause. 553 00:23:28,427 --> 00:23:30,038 [Charlie] Come on, now, here we go. 554 00:23:30,062 --> 00:23:31,896 - Huh! - Ow! 555 00:23:31,931 --> 00:23:35,099 - God damn, you son of a bitch! - Point Kappa Nu! 556 00:23:35,134 --> 00:23:37,902 - [Crowd gasps] - Fucking love that. 557 00:23:37,937 --> 00:23:39,815 - All right, let's go. - Come on, Billy. 558 00:23:39,839 --> 00:23:42,873 - You got this. - Okay, come on, now, Billy. 559 00:23:42,908 --> 00:23:45,309 En garde, motherfucker! Woo! 560 00:23:45,344 --> 00:23:47,089 - I'm Zorro. - Come on, Billy! 561 00:23:47,113 --> 00:23:48,724 - Come on, AJ! - Bring it, motherfucker. 562 00:23:48,748 --> 00:23:50,982 - Bring it. - Come on, Billy. 563 00:23:59,158 --> 00:24:00,991 Ugh! Fuck! 564 00:24:01,026 --> 00:24:02,860 - Point Alpha! - Fuck it. 565 00:24:02,895 --> 00:24:05,096 - [Crowd gasps] - Shit! That's cool! 566 00:24:05,131 --> 00:24:07,042 - Final round, gentlemen! - All right, let's go. 567 00:24:07,066 --> 00:24:09,934 - It's fucking on, motherfucker. - Let's do this. 568 00:24:09,969 --> 00:24:14,338 You got this, AJ. Come on, baby. 569 00:24:14,373 --> 00:24:16,274 Just get 'em, baby. That's right. 570 00:24:18,844 --> 00:24:21,312 - Oh, bitch, what. Ugh! - [Pants tearing] 571 00:24:21,347 --> 00:24:23,781 - [Crowd groans] - Oh, my nut! 572 00:24:23,816 --> 00:24:25,750 That's it! You've got him now! 573 00:24:25,785 --> 00:24:27,262 Oh, shit! My ball! 574 00:24:27,286 --> 00:24:29,064 That's mine, bitch. Your nut is fucking mine. 575 00:24:29,088 --> 00:24:30,855 Not my ball. 576 00:24:30,890 --> 00:24:32,757 [Both grunting] 577 00:24:32,792 --> 00:24:36,127 Protect yourself, now. Protect yourself. 578 00:24:36,162 --> 00:24:38,095 Cover for it. 579 00:24:38,130 --> 00:24:39,797 - No! - Yes! 580 00:24:39,832 --> 00:24:41,510 Eat my tip, trust fund baby. 581 00:24:41,534 --> 00:24:44,068 - [Crowd groans] - Shit! 582 00:24:44,103 --> 00:24:46,782 [Aj] It's fucking bullshit. God damn it! 583 00:24:46,806 --> 00:24:49,073 Alpha is victorious! 584 00:24:49,108 --> 00:24:51,475 [Crowd gasps] 585 00:24:51,510 --> 00:24:53,355 - Fuck, yeah! - I told you you could do it. 586 00:24:53,379 --> 00:24:55,390 - I told you. -Yeah, I still fucking hate you, though. 587 00:24:55,414 --> 00:24:56,947 This is bullshit! 588 00:24:56,982 --> 00:24:58,260 - I can't lose! - It's okay, baby. 589 00:24:58,284 --> 00:25:00,061 The library has my fucking name on it. 590 00:25:00,085 --> 00:25:01,786 - Oh, my god. - Fuck! 591 00:25:01,821 --> 00:25:04,488 Billy, you're quite the master swordsman. 592 00:25:04,523 --> 00:25:06,034 Charlie, gather up your brothers 593 00:25:06,058 --> 00:25:08,192 onto this glorious field of battle 594 00:25:08,227 --> 00:25:12,096 and prepare to be officially reinstated. 595 00:25:12,131 --> 00:25:14,176 All my brothers are present and accounted for, sir. 596 00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:16,300 Let the reinstating commence. 597 00:25:16,335 --> 00:25:19,347 Charlie, you can't have a fraternity with only three active members. 598 00:25:19,371 --> 00:25:20,871 Fucking idiot. 599 00:25:20,906 --> 00:25:22,807 Then we'll get more. 600 00:25:22,842 --> 00:25:24,452 Rush doesn't end for another five days, right? 601 00:25:24,476 --> 00:25:26,188 Just give us till the end of the week, 602 00:25:26,212 --> 00:25:28,490 and we will get however many bid cards you require. 603 00:25:28,514 --> 00:25:30,181 Okay, Charlie. 604 00:25:30,216 --> 00:25:33,050 If you can muster up 15 active members 605 00:25:33,085 --> 00:25:34,485 before the end of rush, 606 00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:37,221 then I'll officially reinstate axg. 607 00:25:37,256 --> 00:25:39,456 Twelve fucking pledges? That's impossible. 608 00:25:39,491 --> 00:25:41,559 - Do I hear 16? - Fifteen it is, sir. 609 00:25:41,594 --> 00:25:43,427 Fifteen it is. 610 00:25:43,462 --> 00:25:46,363 Dean Kravitz, we're gonna need 611 00:25:46,398 --> 00:25:48,543 kind of a central headquarters to rally the troops. 612 00:25:48,567 --> 00:25:50,612 Can we have the Alpha house for rush purposes? 613 00:25:50,636 --> 00:25:52,469 Like custer at the alamo. 614 00:25:52,504 --> 00:25:55,105 Okay, Charlie, fine. 615 00:25:55,140 --> 00:25:56,885 But given Alpha house's track record, 616 00:25:56,909 --> 00:25:58,286 you have to promise to maintain 617 00:25:58,310 --> 00:26:00,511 a level of decency that will always reflect 618 00:26:00,546 --> 00:26:03,581 on this school in a positive light. 619 00:26:03,616 --> 00:26:05,583 - Gotcha. - One screw up, you're done. 620 00:26:05,618 --> 00:26:07,262 - Loud and clear. - You understand? 621 00:26:07,286 --> 00:26:09,166 - Yes sir, loud and clear. - Good. 622 00:26:13,592 --> 00:26:16,193 - Take your sword. - Thank you. 623 00:26:16,228 --> 00:26:19,496 Boys, we got the house back. 624 00:26:19,531 --> 00:26:20,998 Hell yeah! 625 00:26:21,033 --> 00:26:22,300 [Music playing] 626 00:26:27,139 --> 00:26:28,550 I mean, I did. I kicked his ass. 627 00:26:28,574 --> 00:26:30,452 - I just don't get tired. - Boys. 628 00:26:30,476 --> 00:26:33,577 I hold in my hand the key to Greek life. 629 00:26:33,612 --> 00:26:36,113 - And we owe it all to Billy. - Yes, we do. 630 00:26:36,148 --> 00:26:38,193 Yeah, you know I couldn't have done it without you guys. 631 00:26:38,217 --> 00:26:39,984 Oh, wait, no. 632 00:26:40,019 --> 00:26:42,219 I did it completely without you guys. 633 00:26:42,254 --> 00:26:43,565 Did you see the look on AJ's face? 634 00:26:43,589 --> 00:26:45,433 I thought he was gonna shit his pants. 635 00:26:45,457 --> 00:26:47,369 - I made it my lock screen. - [All laughing] 636 00:26:47,393 --> 00:26:50,027 Hey, to Billy, huh? 637 00:26:50,062 --> 00:26:52,229 For risking his last testicle. 638 00:26:52,264 --> 00:26:54,331 Boys, get ready to be ball deep 639 00:26:54,366 --> 00:26:55,566 in some sorority hooha. 640 00:26:55,601 --> 00:26:57,321 - Oh... - [Music playing] 641 00:27:05,678 --> 00:27:07,945 Oh, my god. 642 00:27:07,980 --> 00:27:09,291 Katie littleton just smiled at me. 643 00:27:09,315 --> 00:27:10,959 No, that was definitely a facial tick. 644 00:27:10,983 --> 00:27:12,983 Billy, come on, 645 00:27:13,018 --> 00:27:15,630 I know the difference between a facial tick and a smile, I do. 646 00:27:15,654 --> 00:27:18,289 - What're you smiling at? - That was a facial tick. 647 00:27:18,324 --> 00:27:21,125 Whatever. Fuck you guys. 648 00:27:23,662 --> 00:27:25,307 [Sighs] Home, sweet, home. 649 00:27:25,331 --> 00:27:27,932 Maybe the inside's not so bad. 650 00:27:33,172 --> 00:27:34,382 Oh. [Coughs] 651 00:27:34,406 --> 00:27:37,408 [Gasps] Wheel of fellatio! 652 00:27:37,443 --> 00:27:40,577 - She survived. - Welcome home, boys. 653 00:27:40,612 --> 00:27:43,580 Jesus, it's dustier than douchenozzle's cock in here. 654 00:27:43,615 --> 00:27:46,294 [Sighs] Nothing 12 new pledges can't clean up. 655 00:27:46,318 --> 00:27:48,452 And how we gonna get them pledges, chuckles? 656 00:27:48,487 --> 00:27:50,999 Rush has already started and nobody even knows we're back yet. 657 00:27:51,023 --> 00:27:53,157 Yeah, that's true. 658 00:27:53,192 --> 00:27:55,059 That's true, Billy, but, uh, 659 00:27:55,094 --> 00:27:56,593 we're gonna have a party. 660 00:27:56,628 --> 00:27:59,563 Hell, I think it's time we tell 'em we're back. 661 00:27:59,598 --> 00:28:01,732 Oh, fuck. 662 00:28:01,767 --> 00:28:03,712 Yeah, I'm fixin' to get wilder than a buck. 663 00:28:03,736 --> 00:28:05,402 I'mma fuck you up, liver. 664 00:28:05,437 --> 00:28:07,282 You hear me talkin' to you, you little bitch? 665 00:28:07,306 --> 00:28:09,517 - I just hope I get laid. -That you will, douche. We all will. 666 00:28:09,541 --> 00:28:11,486 Everybody remembers how awesome our parties were. 667 00:28:11,510 --> 00:28:12,721 - We're legends. - Boom. 668 00:28:12,745 --> 00:28:14,946 - [Screams] - [Music playing] 669 00:28:19,385 --> 00:28:21,953 I honestly thought somebody would've remembered. 670 00:28:23,055 --> 00:28:24,455 This sucks ass. 671 00:28:26,225 --> 00:28:28,392 Hey, you know what? Let's just be patient. 672 00:28:28,427 --> 00:28:30,427 Only losers arrive early, right? 673 00:28:30,462 --> 00:28:32,096 So, we're good. 674 00:28:32,131 --> 00:28:34,064 - We're good. - Hey! 675 00:28:34,099 --> 00:28:37,234 Ease up on the fucking dip there, champ. 676 00:28:37,269 --> 00:28:39,370 [Doorbell rings, doorknob turns] 677 00:28:39,405 --> 00:28:41,672 [Door closes] 678 00:28:41,707 --> 00:28:43,374 - Hey. - Hey, y'all. 679 00:28:43,409 --> 00:28:44,652 - Hi. - Oh, Becca. 680 00:28:44,676 --> 00:28:46,343 It's so good to see you. 681 00:28:46,378 --> 00:28:48,356 I surprised the coven let you out for the night. 682 00:28:48,380 --> 00:28:52,616 I heard you guys were throwing one of your legendary parties. 683 00:28:52,651 --> 00:28:55,519 So, I thought I'd come by and see for myself. 684 00:28:56,655 --> 00:28:59,590 You looking at something? 685 00:28:59,625 --> 00:29:01,025 May I please take you 686 00:29:01,060 --> 00:29:02,537 and your two delicious friends here 687 00:29:02,561 --> 00:29:05,029 - for a tour of the house? - Absolutely. 688 00:29:05,064 --> 00:29:06,775 - Right this way, my lady. - No, not so touchy. 689 00:29:06,799 --> 00:29:09,377 - Okay, okay. - He's a real charmer, isn't he? 690 00:29:09,401 --> 00:29:10,501 Yeah, he is, really. 691 00:29:10,536 --> 00:29:11,746 They're perfect for each other. 692 00:29:11,770 --> 00:29:14,071 Yes, she's something. 693 00:29:14,106 --> 00:29:15,550 I dreamed that my days as a sigma 694 00:29:15,574 --> 00:29:17,085 would be a little bit more redeeming, 695 00:29:17,109 --> 00:29:18,319 but Becca's idea of philanthropy 696 00:29:18,343 --> 00:29:20,055 is giving the school stds. 697 00:29:20,079 --> 00:29:22,413 I would tell Billy that, but he wouldn't give a shit. 698 00:29:22,448 --> 00:29:24,314 - So... - Oh, no. 699 00:29:24,349 --> 00:29:25,527 Well, I do have to say, Charlie, 700 00:29:25,551 --> 00:29:27,684 this is quite the terrible party 701 00:29:27,719 --> 00:29:30,432 - You've thrown here. - No, I honestly thought more people would come. 702 00:29:30,456 --> 00:29:33,323 Two losers and ranch dip ain't gonna cut it. 703 00:29:33,358 --> 00:29:34,758 Oh, don't sweat it. 704 00:29:34,793 --> 00:29:36,571 You're just getting your Greek legs back. 705 00:29:36,595 --> 00:29:38,373 I'm sure you'll turn things around in no time. 706 00:29:38,397 --> 00:29:40,141 Yeah, I hope so, I mean, to tell you the truth, 707 00:29:40,165 --> 00:29:41,443 after the whole fireworks fiasco, 708 00:29:41,467 --> 00:29:42,844 I never thought I'd set foot 709 00:29:42,868 --> 00:29:45,402 - in this house again. - Yeah, Charlie, 710 00:29:45,437 --> 00:29:47,348 - I kinda wanted... - Listen, sweetheart, 711 00:29:47,372 --> 00:29:50,274 I... i swear, I just want you and the doll to get it on. 712 00:29:50,309 --> 00:29:52,810 - I'm not gonna do nothin'. - Wow. 713 00:29:52,845 --> 00:29:55,446 Great party, Charlie. I checked the whole house. 714 00:29:55,481 --> 00:29:57,181 It sucks everywhere. 715 00:29:57,216 --> 00:29:59,150 - Hey, look, wait, wait, wait. - No. 716 00:30:00,619 --> 00:30:02,130 I... i don't know what's wrong with me. 717 00:30:02,154 --> 00:30:05,222 - I... - [Gasps] 718 00:30:05,257 --> 00:30:08,092 - Yep. - Stupid asshole! 719 00:30:09,628 --> 00:30:11,628 - Bye, Becca. - I better go, too. 720 00:30:11,663 --> 00:30:13,108 I have class early in the morning. 721 00:30:13,132 --> 00:30:14,275 - I'll see you later. - See you. 722 00:30:14,299 --> 00:30:15,332 Bye, Billy. 723 00:30:15,367 --> 00:30:17,134 - Oh, chuckles. - Yes, sir. 724 00:30:17,169 --> 00:30:18,368 I think I'm in love. 725 00:30:18,403 --> 00:30:20,170 Oh, me, too. 726 00:30:20,205 --> 00:30:23,607 You guys want some dip? 727 00:30:23,642 --> 00:30:24,819 [Aj] Jesus christ. 728 00:30:24,843 --> 00:30:26,521 What the fuck took you so long? 729 00:30:26,545 --> 00:30:29,213 The fucking Alpha Party was a total bust. 730 00:30:29,248 --> 00:30:32,382 There were zero rushies, no girls. 731 00:30:32,417 --> 00:30:33,717 They're fucking assholes. 732 00:30:33,752 --> 00:30:35,719 No girls? 733 00:30:35,754 --> 00:30:37,521 Oh, well, 734 00:30:37,556 --> 00:30:38,700 I think I have some sweethearts 735 00:30:38,724 --> 00:30:40,424 I can send them. 736 00:30:40,459 --> 00:30:41,759 Yeah. 737 00:30:43,695 --> 00:30:45,540 [Billy] Ugh, this party officially sucks ass. 738 00:30:45,564 --> 00:30:47,175 Dude, don't worry. There's still time. 739 00:30:47,199 --> 00:30:49,366 - [Doorbell rings] - Mm. Boom! 740 00:30:49,401 --> 00:30:51,235 - See, fellas? - [Door opens] 741 00:30:51,270 --> 00:30:54,238 Sometimes all you gotta have is just a little bit of... 742 00:30:54,273 --> 00:30:57,174 - Faith. - Hi, sugar. 743 00:30:57,209 --> 00:30:59,254 - Lookin' for Charlie Martin. - I'm Charlie Martin. 744 00:30:59,278 --> 00:31:00,577 Oh, well, then, 745 00:31:00,612 --> 00:31:02,390 tonight's your lucky night, son. 746 00:31:02,414 --> 00:31:04,848 I'm Pearl, as in... 747 00:31:04,883 --> 00:31:06,383 The necklace. 748 00:31:06,418 --> 00:31:09,253 We've been gifted to you 749 00:31:09,288 --> 00:31:11,166 for the evening by an anonymous donor. 750 00:31:11,190 --> 00:31:12,523 [Coughs] 751 00:31:12,558 --> 00:31:13,891 Wha... gifted? 752 00:31:15,394 --> 00:31:16,704 He's not too bright, is he? 753 00:31:16,728 --> 00:31:18,428 No. 754 00:31:18,463 --> 00:31:19,763 Listen to me. 755 00:31:19,798 --> 00:31:21,543 I don't care how drunk I get tonight, 756 00:31:21,567 --> 00:31:24,835 do not let me fuck one of the golden girls. 757 00:31:24,870 --> 00:31:26,737 - I'm serious. - Uh-huh. 758 00:31:26,772 --> 00:31:28,283 - [Microphone feedback] - Hello. 759 00:31:28,307 --> 00:31:29,617 [Aj] Hey, Alpha fucks. 760 00:31:29,641 --> 00:31:33,810 Ladies, if you'll just excuse me. 761 00:31:33,845 --> 00:31:36,580 That's a compliment. 762 00:31:36,615 --> 00:31:37,759 [Becca] Hey, assholes! 763 00:31:37,783 --> 00:31:39,294 What, you're not gonna thank me 764 00:31:39,318 --> 00:31:40,595 for the sweethearts, Charlie? 765 00:31:40,619 --> 00:31:41,919 You know your grandma 766 00:31:41,954 --> 00:31:44,721 gives a surprisingly mean blowjob. 767 00:31:44,756 --> 00:31:46,267 I guess you learned from the best. 768 00:31:46,291 --> 00:31:47,802 Enjoy your fucking bingo night, dickhead. 769 00:31:47,826 --> 00:31:50,561 [All laugh] 770 00:31:50,596 --> 00:31:52,362 This fucking sucks dick. 771 00:31:52,397 --> 00:31:54,865 This is like douchenozzle at a fucking bachelor auction. 772 00:31:54,900 --> 00:31:56,733 - Zero bids. - Hey, man, 773 00:31:56,768 --> 00:31:58,735 - it can get better. - [Sighs] 774 00:31:58,770 --> 00:32:01,538 - It'll get better. - That's good. 775 00:32:01,573 --> 00:32:04,675 - It's good now. - Mm-hmm. 776 00:32:04,710 --> 00:32:06,577 [Doorbell rings] 777 00:32:06,612 --> 00:32:09,846 I'mma fucking kill whoever that is. 778 00:32:09,881 --> 00:32:12,716 [Gasps] Oh, shit. 779 00:32:12,751 --> 00:32:14,918 Hi. Can I fucking help you, nerd? 780 00:32:14,953 --> 00:32:16,253 That's okay, Billy. 781 00:32:16,288 --> 00:32:17,699 Jonesy, what're you doing here? 782 00:32:17,723 --> 00:32:20,457 Hi Charlie, heard about your party 783 00:32:20,492 --> 00:32:22,626 and I thought I'd come by and check it out. 784 00:32:22,661 --> 00:32:24,806 - Maybe rush for you guys. - You're fucking serious? 785 00:32:24,830 --> 00:32:25,974 Are you fucking kidding me? 786 00:32:25,998 --> 00:32:27,342 I know... i know we're desperate 787 00:32:27,366 --> 00:32:28,743 right now, but look at him. 788 00:32:28,767 --> 00:32:30,712 He's a fucking tri-hard with his fucking bowtie. 789 00:32:30,736 --> 00:32:33,281 - Okay, all right, Billy, take it easy. - Your glasses, fuck you. 790 00:32:33,305 --> 00:32:35,606 Billy, just take it easy, okay? 791 00:32:35,641 --> 00:32:37,852 You're more than welcome to hang out here, Jonesy, really. 792 00:32:37,876 --> 00:32:39,276 Thanks, Charlie. 793 00:32:39,311 --> 00:32:40,622 I would've been here earlier, 794 00:32:40,646 --> 00:32:41,923 but my research session ran long. 795 00:32:41,947 --> 00:32:43,914 - "Ran long." - That being said, 796 00:32:43,949 --> 00:32:45,960 and I hope you don't mind, but I brought a few friends. 797 00:32:45,984 --> 00:32:47,562 Oh, you brought us some friends. 798 00:32:47,586 --> 00:32:48,997 That's just... That's fucking great. 799 00:32:49,021 --> 00:32:50,965 I got "the big bang theory" eating onion dip. 800 00:32:50,989 --> 00:32:52,789 I got the wrinkle vice twins 801 00:32:52,824 --> 00:32:54,936 sitting around having hot flashes and now you 802 00:32:54,960 --> 00:32:56,804 brought your fucking nerd friends. 803 00:32:56,828 --> 00:32:58,762 That's just fucking great, Jonesy! 804 00:32:58,797 --> 00:33:00,908 - Just chill the fuck out. - I will not chill the fuck out! 805 00:33:00,932 --> 00:33:03,267 We do not 806 00:33:03,302 --> 00:33:05,969 hang or party with fucking nerd... 807 00:33:06,004 --> 00:33:10,474 Holy sweet mother of ass. 808 00:33:10,509 --> 00:33:11,953 I think my boner just got a boner. 809 00:33:11,977 --> 00:33:15,679 Please grab a beer, a chip, whatever you need. 810 00:33:15,714 --> 00:33:17,014 Uh... 811 00:33:17,049 --> 00:33:18,415 Fucking Jonesy. 812 00:33:18,450 --> 00:33:19,883 [Music blaring] 813 00:33:19,918 --> 00:33:21,763 ♪ Shorty talkative I can't get a word in ♪ 814 00:33:21,787 --> 00:33:23,731 ♪ I just agreed to whatever she say ♪ 815 00:33:23,755 --> 00:33:25,533 ♪ She given it up tonight, it's okay ♪ 816 00:33:25,557 --> 00:33:27,368 ♪ I'm a rap star and that's real shit ♪ 817 00:33:27,392 --> 00:33:29,860 ♪ So you can miss me with that bullshit ♪ 818 00:33:29,895 --> 00:33:32,062 ♪ They say, turn the music down ♪ 819 00:33:32,097 --> 00:33:33,997 ♪ Miss me with that bullshit ♪ 820 00:33:34,032 --> 00:33:37,434 ♪ Miss me, miss-miss-miss me with that bullshit ♪ 821 00:33:37,469 --> 00:33:39,903 ♪ They say I need to settle down ♪ 822 00:33:39,938 --> 00:33:41,749 ♪ Miss me with that bullshit ♪ 823 00:33:41,773 --> 00:33:43,607 ♪ Miss me with that ♪ 824 00:33:43,642 --> 00:33:44,875 ♪ Miss me with that... ♪ 825 00:33:44,910 --> 00:33:47,377 Listen, I wanted to say... 826 00:33:47,412 --> 00:33:49,946 That, I mean, you're pretty fucking cool. 827 00:33:49,981 --> 00:33:51,415 I guess. 828 00:33:51,450 --> 00:33:53,027 I mean, you're still a fucking nerd, 829 00:33:53,051 --> 00:33:55,719 and you got glasses and shit, 830 00:33:55,754 --> 00:33:58,355 I'm not gonna beat the shit outta you. 831 00:33:58,390 --> 00:33:59,856 Thank you. 832 00:33:59,891 --> 00:34:03,026 Yeah. Fuckin' tri-hard. 833 00:34:03,061 --> 00:34:07,531 So, Jonesy, what is it exactly that you do? 834 00:34:07,566 --> 00:34:10,667 Well, it's complicated. 835 00:34:10,702 --> 00:34:13,370 But trust me when I say, 836 00:34:13,405 --> 00:34:16,073 my research is gonna change the world. 837 00:34:19,111 --> 00:34:20,711 [Charlie] Hey, AJ! 838 00:34:20,746 --> 00:34:22,857 We just wanted to express our gratitude to you 839 00:34:22,881 --> 00:34:24,781 for sending us your sweethearts. 840 00:34:24,816 --> 00:34:26,950 Ladies... 841 00:34:26,985 --> 00:34:29,053 Three, two, one... 842 00:34:30,989 --> 00:34:32,423 [All groaning] 843 00:34:35,093 --> 00:34:36,927 Yeah, baby. 844 00:34:36,962 --> 00:34:40,130 - Mom? - It better not be your fucking mom. 845 00:34:40,165 --> 00:34:42,933 - Get in the house, man. - Oh, my god. 846 00:34:42,968 --> 00:34:45,936 - Still got it. - Fuck, yeah. 847 00:34:45,971 --> 00:34:47,137 Ow! 848 00:34:47,172 --> 00:34:48,772 Yeah! 849 00:34:53,678 --> 00:34:55,690 [Billy] Look, man, I hate to say I told you so, 850 00:34:55,714 --> 00:34:58,782 but, I mean, every decent guy on campus is accounted for. 851 00:34:58,817 --> 00:35:01,885 - The well is dry. - [Sighs] 852 00:35:01,920 --> 00:35:05,021 Man, Jonesy's girls were fucking hot, though. 853 00:35:05,056 --> 00:35:07,724 How in the fuck does a nerd like that 854 00:35:07,759 --> 00:35:09,737 get to hang out with such dirty birds? 855 00:35:09,761 --> 00:35:11,995 It's just don't make no sense. 856 00:35:14,833 --> 00:35:16,800 Holy shit, Billy, that's it. 857 00:35:16,835 --> 00:35:21,838 That's it, man. You're a fucking genius. 858 00:35:21,873 --> 00:35:23,184 Okay, we're almost there. 859 00:35:23,208 --> 00:35:24,585 - Okay. - One, two, three. 860 00:35:24,609 --> 00:35:26,043 One, two, three. 861 00:35:28,814 --> 00:35:30,447 Thank you. 862 00:35:32,484 --> 00:35:34,444 - Thanks, Pearl. - It was my pleasure. 863 00:35:34,920 --> 00:35:36,854 [Both moaning] 864 00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:50,768 Hello, boys. [Chuckles] 865 00:35:58,510 --> 00:35:59,910 [Exhales] 866 00:36:07,519 --> 00:36:08,729 Dude, are you fucking kidding me 867 00:36:08,753 --> 00:36:09,820 right now? 868 00:36:09,855 --> 00:36:12,155 - What? - [Laughs] 869 00:36:12,190 --> 00:36:13,768 Well, she was paid for, wasn't she? 870 00:36:13,792 --> 00:36:15,058 And... 871 00:36:15,093 --> 00:36:16,871 Hey, I'm trying to break a dry spell. 872 00:36:16,895 --> 00:36:19,207 What? Why the fuck do you guys hate bargains so much? 873 00:36:19,231 --> 00:36:20,908 - "Break a dry spell." - Yeah. 874 00:36:20,932 --> 00:36:22,777 You wanna break a dry spell by having sex 875 00:36:22,801 --> 00:36:24,579 with the driest vagina of all time? 876 00:36:24,603 --> 00:36:26,503 No. She was surprisingly moist. 877 00:36:26,538 --> 00:36:28,004 Oh, my god. 878 00:36:28,039 --> 00:36:29,951 [Charlie] I think Jonesy proved last night 879 00:36:29,975 --> 00:36:31,541 that he's one of us. 880 00:36:31,576 --> 00:36:33,043 Which leads me to this. 881 00:36:33,078 --> 00:36:35,056 Maybe we've been looking in all the wrong places. 882 00:36:35,080 --> 00:36:36,958 We need to approach this situation 883 00:36:36,982 --> 00:36:38,248 all out money ball. 884 00:36:38,283 --> 00:36:40,094 Brad pitt was awesome in "fight club." 885 00:36:40,118 --> 00:36:41,963 - Could we talk about that? - So fucking awesome. 886 00:36:41,987 --> 00:36:43,753 No. Listen, guys, 887 00:36:43,788 --> 00:36:46,490 instead of competing for the same rushies, 888 00:36:46,525 --> 00:36:48,859 we're gonna recruit the guys nobody knows about. 889 00:36:48,894 --> 00:36:50,527 Starting with... 890 00:36:50,562 --> 00:36:52,762 Sergeant dustin Keaton, usmc, 891 00:36:52,797 --> 00:36:54,798 aka sarge. 892 00:36:54,833 --> 00:36:56,811 Sarge joined the military right out of high school 893 00:36:56,835 --> 00:36:58,145 and did two tours over in iraq. 894 00:36:58,169 --> 00:37:02,072 It's so good. This is so good. 895 00:37:02,107 --> 00:37:04,785 [Charlie] He's a little older and a bit twitchy, 896 00:37:04,809 --> 00:37:07,210 but he's out for material, through and through. 897 00:37:07,245 --> 00:37:09,056 Hey, hey, hey, hey! Oh... oh, sorry. 898 00:37:09,080 --> 00:37:10,591 There's a guy, he's attacking a girl 899 00:37:10,615 --> 00:37:11,948 in the bathroom. 900 00:37:11,983 --> 00:37:14,251 Yeah, yeah. And he says he hates freedom. 901 00:37:16,788 --> 00:37:18,599 - [Walkie talkie beeps] - Target is on the move. 902 00:37:18,623 --> 00:37:19,923 [Beep] 903 00:37:19,958 --> 00:37:21,798 So, this is a "library," huh? 904 00:37:21,826 --> 00:37:23,037 Come on, look in my eyes. 905 00:37:23,061 --> 00:37:24,901 Ride the bull. Ride the bull! 906 00:37:24,930 --> 00:37:26,663 - Whew! Oh, yeah! - Yah! 907 00:37:26,698 --> 00:37:27,931 [Screams] 908 00:37:27,966 --> 00:37:30,033 - [Grunting] - Shh! Shh! Shh! 909 00:37:34,172 --> 00:37:35,839 You all right? 910 00:37:35,874 --> 00:37:37,941 I'm fine. 911 00:37:37,976 --> 00:37:40,810 - Thanks to you. - What the hell is this? 912 00:37:40,845 --> 00:37:42,546 This was a test. 913 00:37:42,581 --> 00:37:45,615 Congrats, you passed. I'm Charlie Martin. 914 00:37:45,650 --> 00:37:47,250 You laid a trap for me, 915 00:37:47,285 --> 00:37:49,953 and I fell for it. 916 00:37:49,988 --> 00:37:51,232 That's not an easy thing to do. 917 00:37:51,256 --> 00:37:52,556 I'm impressed. 918 00:37:52,591 --> 00:37:54,135 - So am i. - Shut the fuck up. 919 00:37:54,159 --> 00:37:56,660 Not half as impressed as we are with you, sarge. 920 00:37:56,695 --> 00:37:57,805 We think you have what it takes 921 00:37:57,829 --> 00:37:59,062 to be a part of axg. 922 00:37:59,097 --> 00:38:00,942 Axg? I thought y'all was exiled? 923 00:38:00,966 --> 00:38:02,610 Your intel's wrong, soldier. 924 00:38:02,634 --> 00:38:04,211 We're having a meet and greet at 1600 hours. 925 00:38:04,235 --> 00:38:05,746 We would love it if you came by. 926 00:38:05,770 --> 00:38:07,248 - Guys, guys, listen... ugh! - [Grunting] 927 00:38:07,272 --> 00:38:08,672 Oh... 928 00:38:10,141 --> 00:38:12,108 I'll think about it, Charlie. 929 00:38:12,143 --> 00:38:13,854 Cool, sarge. Have a good day. 930 00:38:13,878 --> 00:38:15,078 [Coughing, groaning] 931 00:38:16,848 --> 00:38:19,015 Frank Van dyke iv. 932 00:38:19,050 --> 00:38:21,284 Mr. Van dyke is an aspiring film director. 933 00:38:21,319 --> 00:38:23,587 He is the mad genius behind the wildly popular 934 00:38:23,622 --> 00:38:25,322 rolling blackout videos. 935 00:38:25,357 --> 00:38:27,791 His skill set would be invaluable to us. 936 00:38:27,826 --> 00:38:30,671 [Billy] You know, we're big fans of your work V.D., 937 00:38:30,695 --> 00:38:31,861 which is why we want you 938 00:38:31,896 --> 00:38:33,274 to be our personal videographer. 939 00:38:33,298 --> 00:38:34,831 Oh, thanks. 940 00:38:34,866 --> 00:38:36,844 And why the hell would I want to do that? 941 00:38:36,868 --> 00:38:38,034 Well, besides being awarded 942 00:38:38,069 --> 00:38:39,936 with a lifetime of brotherhood, 943 00:38:39,971 --> 00:38:41,315 you would have firsthand access 944 00:38:41,339 --> 00:38:43,340 to some of the finest drug users 945 00:38:43,375 --> 00:38:45,709 - and degenerates known to man. - That's right. 946 00:38:45,744 --> 00:38:47,088 You'd have a first row seat 947 00:38:47,112 --> 00:38:49,212 to the greatest shitshow on earth, dude. 948 00:38:49,247 --> 00:38:51,092 - Did we mention the perks? - Mm-hmm. 949 00:38:51,116 --> 00:38:52,983 Here you go, Van dyke. 950 00:38:53,018 --> 00:38:55,819 - [Both] Hi. - [Giggling] 951 00:38:55,854 --> 00:38:58,188 Ah, you don't need this piece of shit anymore. 952 00:38:58,223 --> 00:38:59,834 [Both] This is for you. 953 00:38:59,858 --> 00:39:02,058 - [Laughing] - Oh, shit, are you serious? 954 00:39:02,093 --> 00:39:03,738 As my daddy's triple bypass. 955 00:39:03,762 --> 00:39:07,397 Now, Ashley, Brooke, this is Van dyke. 956 00:39:07,432 --> 00:39:09,377 Van dyke is that director I was telling you about. 957 00:39:09,401 --> 00:39:10,911 I was telling 'em about your various 958 00:39:10,935 --> 00:39:13,236 accomplishments as a director. 959 00:39:13,271 --> 00:39:15,639 And they're actresses who've been working on a scene 960 00:39:15,674 --> 00:39:17,184 and they were wondering if you might be able 961 00:39:17,208 --> 00:39:18,742 to help them out. 962 00:39:18,777 --> 00:39:20,855 - Hmm. -We're normally stage actresses, 963 00:39:20,879 --> 00:39:23,346 but we really, really wanna get into film. 964 00:39:23,381 --> 00:39:26,716 What's the scene from? 965 00:39:26,751 --> 00:39:28,918 - "Fifty shades of gay." - I may have, uh... 966 00:39:28,953 --> 00:39:31,221 May have a few pointers for them. 967 00:39:31,256 --> 00:39:33,256 All right, ladies, just, uh... 968 00:39:33,291 --> 00:39:35,036 Way to go, dude. It's a closed set. 969 00:39:35,060 --> 00:39:36,737 Open up a little bit to camera. 970 00:39:36,761 --> 00:39:38,139 [Laughs] Yeah. 971 00:39:38,163 --> 00:39:41,364 We wanna see what's going on there. 972 00:39:41,399 --> 00:39:43,000 Well done. 973 00:39:45,170 --> 00:39:47,081 [Billy] You're not gonna miss being an R.A. 974 00:39:47,105 --> 00:39:50,025 [Charlie] No, but I will miss confiscating their weed. 975 00:39:51,409 --> 00:39:54,044 [Woman moaning] 976 00:39:54,079 --> 00:39:56,012 What the fuck is Dr. frankie snatch 977 00:39:56,047 --> 00:39:58,214 doin' right now? 978 00:39:58,249 --> 00:40:00,684 Come on, let's find out. 979 00:40:00,719 --> 00:40:02,852 Jesus christ! 980 00:40:02,887 --> 00:40:05,188 They're trainin' fishermen to be gynecologists. 981 00:40:05,223 --> 00:40:06,901 - That's it. - Oh, my god! 982 00:40:06,925 --> 00:40:09,059 Charlie! Everyone down, now! 983 00:40:09,094 --> 00:40:11,128 [All yelling] 984 00:40:17,836 --> 00:40:20,103 God damn, how much shit is in there? 985 00:40:20,138 --> 00:40:21,905 Sorry, sorry guys. 986 00:40:21,940 --> 00:40:23,884 Wait. So squirting, that's your research. 987 00:40:23,908 --> 00:40:26,276 Enhanced female ejaculatory projection... 988 00:40:26,311 --> 00:40:28,745 Actually. Sorry, Ashley. 989 00:40:28,780 --> 00:40:30,424 - [Laughs] - It's not funny, man. 990 00:40:30,448 --> 00:40:32,916 I discovered a way to tap into the female skene's gland, 991 00:40:32,951 --> 00:40:34,295 also known as The G-Spot, 992 00:40:34,319 --> 00:40:35,719 proving once and for all 993 00:40:35,754 --> 00:40:38,088 that women do, in fact, ejaculate. 994 00:40:38,123 --> 00:40:39,500 But why would any girl want to squirt? 995 00:40:39,524 --> 00:40:40,890 Because women shouldn't be 996 00:40:40,925 --> 00:40:43,426 the only ones forced to swallow. 997 00:40:43,461 --> 00:40:44,961 Another women's study major. 998 00:40:44,996 --> 00:40:47,964 Be at the Alpha house this afternoon. 999 00:40:47,999 --> 00:40:50,266 Good job, Jonesy. 1000 00:40:50,301 --> 00:40:51,746 Whoa, I got another one in me. 1001 00:40:51,770 --> 00:40:53,403 Oh, shit! 1002 00:40:53,438 --> 00:40:55,316 [Charlie] We are offering you bids to the most 1003 00:40:55,340 --> 00:40:58,108 esteemed fraternity on the MDU campus. 1004 00:40:58,143 --> 00:40:59,976 Hey. 1005 00:41:00,011 --> 00:41:02,378 - Where the hell is sarge? - I have no idea. 1006 00:41:02,413 --> 00:41:05,115 Yes! This rules! 1007 00:41:05,150 --> 00:41:09,018 - I am so down, bros. - [Charlie] Easy, Jonesy. 1008 00:41:09,053 --> 00:41:11,988 Look, we see great potential in you. 1009 00:41:12,023 --> 00:41:14,858 But with great power comes great responsibility. 1010 00:41:14,893 --> 00:41:18,261 "Comes" like, "cumming," you know? 1011 00:41:18,296 --> 00:41:20,897 Anything. You name it. 1012 00:41:20,932 --> 00:41:23,166 You drinking a fucking soda? 1013 00:41:23,201 --> 00:41:24,881 - Jesus christ. - Sorry. 1014 00:41:26,004 --> 00:41:28,304 Jonesy, we think it would be beneficial 1015 00:41:28,339 --> 00:41:30,507 if you continued your research with us. 1016 00:41:30,542 --> 00:41:31,908 That way you can share 1017 00:41:31,943 --> 00:41:33,220 all your knowledge and expertise 1018 00:41:33,244 --> 00:41:34,922 with all our new pledges making us the most 1019 00:41:34,946 --> 00:41:37,514 "vagtastic" master cocksmen on campus. 1020 00:41:37,549 --> 00:41:39,516 How's that sound? 1021 00:41:39,551 --> 00:41:41,985 It would be an honor. 1022 00:41:42,020 --> 00:41:43,397 You really don't need these things. 1023 00:41:43,421 --> 00:41:45,989 I do, actually. To see. 1024 00:41:48,359 --> 00:41:49,793 [Sighs] 1025 00:41:53,198 --> 00:41:54,864 [Gasps] Holy shit. 1026 00:41:54,899 --> 00:41:57,100 - How long you been there? - A long time. 1027 00:41:57,135 --> 00:41:58,312 - Now let me guess. - [Exhales] 1028 00:41:58,336 --> 00:42:00,281 You want me to join your fraternity? 1029 00:42:00,305 --> 00:42:02,005 [Laughs] Sarge, 1030 00:42:02,040 --> 00:42:04,307 you're a military man, right? 1031 00:42:04,342 --> 00:42:05,809 A god damn american hero, 1032 00:42:05,844 --> 00:42:06,987 but have you ever thought about 1033 00:42:07,011 --> 00:42:08,178 what's next? 1034 00:42:08,213 --> 00:42:10,246 - I don't know. - Of course not. 1035 00:42:10,281 --> 00:42:12,949 You've been following orders your whole life. 1036 00:42:12,984 --> 00:42:15,118 But we can help you become a leader. 1037 00:42:16,888 --> 00:42:19,389 You ever thought about, um... 1038 00:42:19,424 --> 00:42:21,435 Have you ever thought about running for public office? 1039 00:42:21,459 --> 00:42:23,459 Well... 1040 00:42:23,494 --> 00:42:26,162 Did you know that 76% 1041 00:42:26,197 --> 00:42:28,097 of all congressmen and senators 1042 00:42:28,132 --> 00:42:29,966 belongs to a fraternity? 1043 00:42:30,001 --> 00:42:31,478 Why would anybody know that? 1044 00:42:31,502 --> 00:42:33,870 That's where a hero like you belongs, sarge. 1045 00:42:33,905 --> 00:42:35,905 And we can help you get there. 1046 00:42:35,940 --> 00:42:38,408 Okay. What you want in return? 1047 00:42:38,443 --> 00:42:40,944 We want you to be head of our security. 1048 00:42:40,979 --> 00:42:43,379 We're in a war of our own with Kappa Nu. 1049 00:42:43,414 --> 00:42:45,348 A Greek jihad, if you will. 1050 00:42:45,383 --> 00:42:48,518 Did you say, "jihad"? 1051 00:42:48,553 --> 00:42:50,064 Yes, soldier, I said that. 1052 00:42:50,088 --> 00:42:52,155 Haul me in. 1053 00:42:52,190 --> 00:42:53,290 Five by five. 1054 00:42:55,960 --> 00:42:59,429 First off, gentlemen, let me say congratulations. 1055 00:42:59,464 --> 00:43:01,175 You just made the best decision 1056 00:43:01,199 --> 00:43:02,999 - of your young lives. - Yeah. 1057 00:43:03,034 --> 00:43:05,335 Thirty years from now when you're a senator, 1058 00:43:05,370 --> 00:43:08,238 or the ceo of a billion dollar corporation, 1059 00:43:08,273 --> 00:43:09,572 or the god damn president 1060 00:43:09,607 --> 00:43:12,475 of the united states of america, 1061 00:43:12,510 --> 00:43:16,546 your sons will be standing right where you are today. 1062 00:43:16,581 --> 00:43:20,016 Just as I am standing where my father once stood, 1063 00:43:20,051 --> 00:43:21,885 I say welcome 1064 00:43:21,920 --> 00:43:24,131 - to the finest... - [Over loud speaker] Hey, Alpha rushies! 1065 00:43:24,155 --> 00:43:26,367 - Before you make the worst decision... - Who the fuck is that? 1066 00:43:26,391 --> 00:43:28,235 Why don't you come over here 1067 00:43:28,259 --> 00:43:30,504 - and see what a real fraternity has to offer. - What the fuck? 1068 00:43:30,528 --> 00:43:32,629 - Am I right? - Dude. 1069 00:43:32,664 --> 00:43:35,899 Each new kappa pledge will not only have access 1070 00:43:35,934 --> 00:43:38,134 to a luxury sweet automobile, 1071 00:43:38,169 --> 00:43:40,603 but... ah... You'll have full access 1072 00:43:40,638 --> 00:43:42,349 to the luxurious sigma girls. 1073 00:43:42,373 --> 00:43:45,075 [Music playing, engine revving] 1074 00:43:49,714 --> 00:43:51,114 ♪ Party, bitches ♪ 1075 00:43:51,149 --> 00:43:52,660 ♪ This is a party, bitches ♪ 1076 00:43:52,684 --> 00:43:54,684 ♪ This is a party, bitches ♪ 1077 00:43:54,719 --> 00:43:57,387 - ♪ This is a party, bitches ♪ - boys, boys, I can't do this. 1078 00:43:57,422 --> 00:43:58,699 ♪ I know you like what you see ♪ 1079 00:43:58,723 --> 00:44:00,301 ♪ I know you like what you see ♪ 1080 00:44:00,325 --> 00:44:02,191 ♪ Living out your fantasy ♪ 1081 00:44:02,226 --> 00:44:04,694 ♪ You want it be reality ♪ 1082 00:44:04,729 --> 00:44:06,407 Boys, I can't do it. The tits got me. 1083 00:44:06,431 --> 00:44:08,509 Billy, just look away. Fight it, fight it! 1084 00:44:08,533 --> 00:44:10,466 But the tits have me hypnotized. 1085 00:44:10,501 --> 00:44:13,280 - Just focus. - Give me them titties. I wanna get fucked. 1086 00:44:13,304 --> 00:44:15,082 - Billy! - Give me the titties. 1087 00:44:15,106 --> 00:44:17,106 All right, all right, I'm fine. 1088 00:44:17,141 --> 00:44:19,453 - Get the fuck off me. - Just think of douchenozzle penis, okay? 1089 00:44:19,477 --> 00:44:21,255 And if any of our pledges need a little hand 1090 00:44:21,279 --> 00:44:24,080 with their studies, our ga's at the t&a 1091 00:44:24,115 --> 00:44:27,116 will be more than willing to give them a helping hand. 1092 00:44:27,151 --> 00:44:28,551 [Music playing] 1093 00:44:31,222 --> 00:44:34,124 Hey, you sacks of shit, you fall in! 1094 00:44:36,227 --> 00:44:37,727 And trust me, boys, 1095 00:44:37,762 --> 00:44:41,331 when I say that these girls, they get straight a's... 1096 00:44:41,366 --> 00:44:43,333 - In destroying cock. - Oh, shit. 1097 00:44:43,368 --> 00:44:45,145 I hear that's a tough program to get into. 1098 00:44:45,169 --> 00:44:46,480 [Aj] You're missing the best part. 1099 00:44:46,504 --> 00:44:48,471 When it's time for spring break, 1100 00:44:48,506 --> 00:44:51,708 you'll receive an all-expense paid vacay 1101 00:44:51,743 --> 00:44:53,142 to Punta Cana. 1102 00:44:53,177 --> 00:44:55,244 Courtesy of our alumni at the Kappa Nu. 1103 00:44:55,279 --> 00:44:58,514 - [Cheering] - Fucking deserters! 1104 00:44:58,549 --> 00:45:00,127 Yeah, well, that's fine. 1105 00:45:00,151 --> 00:45:01,729 I was gonna haze the shit out of you, anyway. 1106 00:45:01,753 --> 00:45:03,386 Hey, he's just kidding. 1107 00:45:03,421 --> 00:45:05,621 Aj's just dirty rushing you. 1108 00:45:05,656 --> 00:45:07,657 It's an easy fucking decision, right? 1109 00:45:07,692 --> 00:45:09,570 Hey, AJ, I bet you have fucking 1110 00:45:09,594 --> 00:45:12,128 deep throatin' competitions between haroon and hillman 1111 00:45:12,163 --> 00:45:14,108 and the fucking winner gets to paint your toenails, 1112 00:45:14,132 --> 00:45:15,598 you fuckin' asshole! 1113 00:45:15,633 --> 00:45:17,478 Me and manzel fucking tag teamed your mom 1114 00:45:17,502 --> 00:45:19,213 and when we finished, she was crying 1115 00:45:19,237 --> 00:45:21,015 in both our arms saying she wished 1116 00:45:21,039 --> 00:45:23,117 she gave you up for adoption, you stupid son of a bitch. 1117 00:45:23,141 --> 00:45:25,675 Yeah, and when they were done, he cummed all over her, 1118 00:45:25,710 --> 00:45:27,221 I went in 'cause I take thirds, 1119 00:45:27,245 --> 00:45:29,712 and I fucking gave her an angry pirate. 1120 00:45:29,747 --> 00:45:31,592 You know what that is? Let me act it out. 1121 00:45:31,616 --> 00:45:33,227 Ugh! In her eye. [Screams] 1122 00:45:33,251 --> 00:45:35,351 Kicked her in the fucking chin! 1123 00:45:35,386 --> 00:45:38,188 Thanks for the rushies, Charlie. 1124 00:45:39,624 --> 00:45:42,625 Hey, stay low, guys. 1125 00:45:42,660 --> 00:45:44,500 I gotta figure out what to do. 1126 00:45:46,664 --> 00:45:49,032 I know what we can do. 1127 00:45:52,770 --> 00:45:55,171 - This is your idea? Drinking? - Fuck yeah, dude. 1128 00:45:55,206 --> 00:45:58,541 I mean, drinkin' solves pretty much everything. 1129 00:45:58,576 --> 00:46:01,177 Normally, I'd agree with you. 1130 00:46:01,212 --> 00:46:04,047 But I'm the one responsible for all this. 1131 00:46:04,082 --> 00:46:05,225 I was the one that went too far 1132 00:46:05,249 --> 00:46:06,460 with those fireworks even after 1133 00:46:06,484 --> 00:46:07,650 you told me to stop. 1134 00:46:07,685 --> 00:46:09,519 Yeah, that's true. 1135 00:46:09,554 --> 00:46:13,756 But, I mean, that's also what makes you, you. 1136 00:46:13,791 --> 00:46:16,359 And fuck, I've known you for pretty much my whole life. 1137 00:46:16,394 --> 00:46:19,695 So I know that you will figure it out. 1138 00:46:19,730 --> 00:46:21,809 Billy, what the fuck are you talking about? 1139 00:46:21,833 --> 00:46:24,401 Listen, man. 1140 00:46:26,471 --> 00:46:28,082 I coulda died on that fencing field 1141 00:46:28,106 --> 00:46:30,073 when we were 12, but what'd you do? 1142 00:46:30,108 --> 00:46:33,443 You picked me up and then what happened? 1143 00:46:33,478 --> 00:46:36,079 Carried you to your place. 1144 00:46:36,114 --> 00:46:37,491 - My ball! - You're going to be okay. 1145 00:46:37,515 --> 00:46:39,615 No, I'm not. 1146 00:46:39,650 --> 00:46:41,084 And then what? 1147 00:46:41,119 --> 00:46:43,119 Stopped the bleeding from your balls. 1148 00:46:45,656 --> 00:46:49,792 You stopped the bleeding from my balls. 1149 00:46:49,827 --> 00:46:52,628 You put your little 12-year-old-hands on my nuts, 1150 00:46:52,663 --> 00:46:54,531 and you stopped the bleeding. 1151 00:46:56,734 --> 00:46:58,401 I mean, in retrospect, 1152 00:46:58,436 --> 00:47:00,481 you probably shoulda taken me to the fucking hospital. 1153 00:47:00,505 --> 00:47:02,238 Yeah. 1154 00:47:02,273 --> 00:47:03,684 This is gettin' a little too real for me. 1155 00:47:03,708 --> 00:47:06,209 I'm gonna crack open a beer 1156 00:47:06,244 --> 00:47:07,721 and start some brainstormin'. 1157 00:47:07,745 --> 00:47:10,213 - What you say? - All right, brother. 1158 00:47:20,358 --> 00:47:22,825 - [Katie] You look like shit. - [Laughs] 1159 00:47:22,860 --> 00:47:25,695 Ah, well, that's not an easy look to cultivate, 1160 00:47:25,730 --> 00:47:27,241 so glad I'm pulling it off. 1161 00:47:27,265 --> 00:47:29,565 Oh, glad could be of services. 1162 00:47:29,600 --> 00:47:31,578 You're taking ballston Shakespeare class? 1163 00:47:31,602 --> 00:47:33,747 - Yeah, you heard of it? - I took it last semester. 1164 00:47:33,771 --> 00:47:34,771 Really? 1165 00:47:36,207 --> 00:47:37,718 Don't look so surprised, littleton. 1166 00:47:37,742 --> 00:47:39,408 Okay, I like the bard. 1167 00:47:39,443 --> 00:47:40,654 Your brothers must've given you 1168 00:47:40,678 --> 00:47:41,844 a lot of shit for that. 1169 00:47:41,879 --> 00:47:43,524 Yeah, they did, but like Billy says, 1170 00:47:43,548 --> 00:47:45,681 "to thine own self be true." 1171 00:47:45,716 --> 00:47:47,283 Mm-hmm. 1172 00:47:47,318 --> 00:47:49,152 Do you wanna sit? 1173 00:47:49,187 --> 00:47:51,787 Oh, are you sure you want to fraternize with the enemy? 1174 00:47:51,822 --> 00:47:54,557 - I won't tell if you won't. - You know, I don't get 1175 00:47:54,592 --> 00:47:57,360 this whole war between the kappa's and the Alpha's. 1176 00:47:57,395 --> 00:47:58,805 Why do you guys hate each other so much? 1177 00:47:58,829 --> 00:48:00,296 Ancient grudge. 1178 00:48:00,331 --> 00:48:01,775 Nobody even remembers why it started. 1179 00:48:01,799 --> 00:48:04,500 Like the capulets and the montagues. 1180 00:48:04,535 --> 00:48:06,536 - Ah. - See what I did there? 1181 00:48:06,571 --> 00:48:08,871 Yes. So, it's a line that can't be crossed. 1182 00:48:08,906 --> 00:48:10,717 Yeah. Romeo and juliet crossed it. 1183 00:48:10,741 --> 00:48:12,452 Their love gave them courage. 1184 00:48:12,476 --> 00:48:14,344 Well, they ended up dead. 1185 00:48:15,580 --> 00:48:16,813 Maybe not us. 1186 00:48:20,751 --> 00:48:22,585 I heard about the car wash. 1187 00:48:22,620 --> 00:48:23,931 I'm sorry about your pledges. 1188 00:48:23,955 --> 00:48:25,666 Yeah, well, who woulda thought 1189 00:48:25,690 --> 00:48:28,191 that a bunch of young guys could be so easily swayed 1190 00:48:28,226 --> 00:48:30,860 by some beautiful dripping wet women in bikinis? 1191 00:48:30,895 --> 00:48:32,873 - Well, you still have time. - Not enough. 1192 00:48:32,897 --> 00:48:34,630 We would need, like, 1193 00:48:34,665 --> 00:48:36,577 a bunch of guys at one time to join. 1194 00:48:36,601 --> 00:48:39,435 Gentlemen! What is up, boys? 1195 00:48:39,470 --> 00:48:41,615 Dude, let's rock and roll! Let's make heads roll! 1196 00:48:41,639 --> 00:48:44,240 Let's do this, boys! Let's go! 1197 00:48:44,275 --> 00:48:47,710 - You mean like a team? - Like a team, yes, good idea. 1198 00:48:47,745 --> 00:48:50,513 But, lacrosse guys don't join fraternities. 1199 00:48:50,548 --> 00:48:52,315 Why not? 1200 00:48:52,350 --> 00:48:54,317 It's a line that can't be crossed. 1201 00:48:54,352 --> 00:48:57,353 Well, Romeo and juliet crossed it. 1202 00:48:57,388 --> 00:48:59,522 All you need is a little bit of courage. 1203 00:49:04,862 --> 00:49:06,673 - [Mix background chatter] - [Whistle blows] 1204 00:49:06,697 --> 00:49:09,265 Here we go, guys, let's go. Let's fucking go, boy. 1205 00:49:09,300 --> 00:49:11,234 Fuck you. Let's do it! 1206 00:49:19,310 --> 00:49:20,710 [Phone ringing] 1207 00:49:22,780 --> 00:49:24,358 Douchenozzle, there has to be one alum 1208 00:49:24,382 --> 00:49:25,348 who played lacrosse. 1209 00:49:25,383 --> 00:49:27,617 Find him. Do it. 1210 00:49:27,652 --> 00:49:29,496 You can do way better than this. 1211 00:49:29,520 --> 00:49:32,488 - Shut the fuck up, wimp. -Come on, Zack. Help me do it. 1212 00:49:34,825 --> 00:49:36,859 Ow! There they are! 1213 00:49:36,894 --> 00:49:38,805 There they are! Great game out there, Zack! 1214 00:49:38,829 --> 00:49:41,897 Great game. You slaughtered them out there. 1215 00:49:41,932 --> 00:49:43,543 This was a fucking practice, dickface. 1216 00:49:43,567 --> 00:49:45,868 Yeah, what can I say, you guys were fantastic. 1217 00:49:45,903 --> 00:49:47,403 Who the fuck are you? 1218 00:49:47,438 --> 00:49:49,472 Yeah, who the fuck are you, Nancy drew? 1219 00:49:49,507 --> 00:49:51,941 My name is Charlie Martin. I'm from axg. 1220 00:49:51,976 --> 00:49:54,821 And we think you boys have what it takes to become members. 1221 00:49:54,845 --> 00:49:57,591 - Lacrosse players don't join frats. - I don't know, Zack. 1222 00:49:57,615 --> 00:49:59,660 I think you guys are already a fraternity. 1223 00:49:59,684 --> 00:50:01,295 You just haven't realized it yet. 1224 00:50:01,319 --> 00:50:02,629 I mean, you eat together. 1225 00:50:02,653 --> 00:50:04,431 You study together. You party together. 1226 00:50:04,455 --> 00:50:06,433 Hell, you're probably banging the same checks, too. 1227 00:50:06,457 --> 00:50:09,025 - Hmm? - Yeah, man. 1228 00:50:09,060 --> 00:50:10,760 A'right, a'right. 1229 00:50:10,795 --> 00:50:12,606 You guys are a family just like us. 1230 00:50:12,630 --> 00:50:13,940 Well, if we already do all that shit, 1231 00:50:13,964 --> 00:50:15,676 why the fuck do we need to join? 1232 00:50:15,700 --> 00:50:17,744 That is a very good question, and one I will answer. 1233 00:50:17,768 --> 00:50:18,979 Excuse me, boys. Excuse me. 1234 00:50:19,003 --> 00:50:20,447 Holy shit. You're Sam venable. 1235 00:50:20,471 --> 00:50:21,904 I sure as shit am, son. 1236 00:50:21,939 --> 00:50:24,440 Ncaa division one, lacrosse all-star, 1237 00:50:24,475 --> 00:50:26,019 five time world lacrosse champion 1238 00:50:26,043 --> 00:50:27,587 with the rings to prove it. 1239 00:50:27,611 --> 00:50:29,389 You guys get rings for that, don't you? 1240 00:50:29,413 --> 00:50:31,591 - We sure as shit do, son. - And most importantly he was... 1241 00:50:31,615 --> 00:50:34,617 Former Alpha vice president and alumni chairman. 1242 00:50:34,652 --> 00:50:36,986 You're my fucking hero. Can I have an autograph? 1243 00:50:37,021 --> 00:50:39,689 I'll give you an autograph when you sign a bid card. 1244 00:50:39,724 --> 00:50:42,558 - [Man] All right, we'll come. - Okay, we will, 1245 00:50:42,593 --> 00:50:44,037 but we're not making any promises. 1246 00:50:44,061 --> 00:50:46,662 - It's cool, man. - Let's go, boys. 1247 00:50:46,697 --> 00:50:50,099 - All right, right on! - It's Sam fuckin' venable. 1248 00:50:50,134 --> 00:50:53,436 Sam, I really appreciate your help on this one. 1249 00:50:53,471 --> 00:50:55,782 No problem. Anything for the son of old torchy, huh? 1250 00:50:55,806 --> 00:50:57,286 - Ugh! - Whew! 1251 00:50:59,910 --> 00:51:01,722 - [Charlie] Almost there. - [Katie] All right. 1252 00:51:01,746 --> 00:51:03,479 [Charlie] Almost there. 1253 00:51:03,514 --> 00:51:05,381 All right. 1254 00:51:05,416 --> 00:51:07,094 [Katie] Ugh. You're gonna murder me, aren't you? 1255 00:51:07,118 --> 00:51:09,585 Uh, you ruined your surprise, way to go. 1256 00:51:09,620 --> 00:51:11,620 - Okay. - Yeah? 1257 00:51:11,655 --> 00:51:13,122 Oh! 1258 00:51:13,157 --> 00:51:14,724 A picnic? 1259 00:51:14,759 --> 00:51:17,460 - What, and rose petals? - Yeah. 1260 00:51:17,495 --> 00:51:19,695 - Wow. How romantic of you. - Well, 1261 00:51:19,730 --> 00:51:22,398 I saw it on "the bachelor." 1262 00:51:22,433 --> 00:51:25,000 Wow, I'm just surprised the wine didn't come in a box. 1263 00:51:25,035 --> 00:51:27,002 Well, littleton, I'm all class. 1264 00:51:27,037 --> 00:51:30,439 - What can I say? - I'm very impressed. 1265 00:51:30,474 --> 00:51:32,742 This is to say thank you for the wonderful idea 1266 00:51:32,777 --> 00:51:35,411 - about the lacrosse team. - Wait, so did they commit? 1267 00:51:35,446 --> 00:51:37,880 Not yet, but we're having a party tomorrow night 1268 00:51:37,915 --> 00:51:40,549 so, I'm kinda hoping that seals the deal. 1269 00:51:40,584 --> 00:51:42,485 - Party? - Uh-huh. 1270 00:51:42,520 --> 00:51:45,465 - Why, thank you for the invite. - Well, you're not invited. 1271 00:51:45,489 --> 00:51:47,590 - Thank you. - Obviously, 1272 00:51:47,625 --> 00:51:49,625 I would love it if you could come. 1273 00:51:49,660 --> 00:51:51,505 Okay, thank you. I'll be there. 1274 00:51:51,529 --> 00:51:54,731 I graciously accept your last minute invitation. 1275 00:51:57,435 --> 00:52:00,903 Mm, so what made you want to become an Alpha? 1276 00:52:00,938 --> 00:52:04,507 My father was an Alpha, actually. 1277 00:52:04,542 --> 00:52:06,787 He used to always talk about the amazing times he had here 1278 00:52:06,811 --> 00:52:08,711 and wanted nothing more for me 1279 00:52:08,746 --> 00:52:10,056 than just to follow in his footsteps. 1280 00:52:10,080 --> 00:52:11,180 He must be really proud 1281 00:52:11,215 --> 00:52:12,559 of what you're doing right now. 1282 00:52:12,583 --> 00:52:13,983 Yeah, he would be. 1283 00:52:14,018 --> 00:52:16,619 - He died when I was young. - Oh, I'm sorry. 1284 00:52:16,654 --> 00:52:18,154 Hmm, it's okay. 1285 00:52:18,189 --> 00:52:21,690 Actually, he was gonna run for governor, 1286 00:52:21,725 --> 00:52:24,193 and Billy's dad was gonna be his campaign manager. 1287 00:52:24,228 --> 00:52:25,772 - Really. - Yeah, but when dad died, 1288 00:52:25,796 --> 00:52:28,864 Governor Taylor now, picked up the torch 1289 00:52:28,899 --> 00:52:31,901 and, um... 1290 00:52:31,936 --> 00:52:33,780 You know, he's always been a second father to me. 1291 00:52:33,804 --> 00:52:35,048 - Yeah. - Yeah. 1292 00:52:35,072 --> 00:52:36,739 And Billy, my brother, 1293 00:52:36,774 --> 00:52:39,875 my crazy brother. 1294 00:52:39,910 --> 00:52:42,178 So, I guess being a leader is just in your DNA. 1295 00:52:42,213 --> 00:52:45,514 - Well, I guess so. - Hmm, so, uh, 1296 00:52:45,549 --> 00:52:48,017 are you planning on following in your fathers footsteps, 1297 00:52:48,052 --> 00:52:49,552 future governor? 1298 00:52:49,587 --> 00:52:51,554 Nothing would make me happier. 1299 00:52:51,589 --> 00:52:53,109 - Nothing? - Mm. 1300 00:53:10,207 --> 00:53:12,107 Nice "beerymid." 1301 00:53:12,142 --> 00:53:13,643 Mm-hmm. 1302 00:53:21,051 --> 00:53:23,886 - [Katie moaning] Oh, yeah. - Hey, shh, shh, shh, shh. 1303 00:53:23,921 --> 00:53:25,688 - You hear that? - Mm-hmm. 1304 00:53:25,723 --> 00:53:28,023 Sounds like chuckles is puttin' the ole tube steak 1305 00:53:28,058 --> 00:53:31,727 - into the oven. - Ah, I love steak! 1306 00:53:31,762 --> 00:53:33,896 I gotta go. [Clears throat] 1307 00:53:33,931 --> 00:53:35,675 - [Beer cans clanging] - Oh, for fuck's sake! 1308 00:53:35,699 --> 00:53:37,143 That took me, like, 20 minutes. 1309 00:53:37,167 --> 00:53:38,868 Hey! 1310 00:53:38,903 --> 00:53:40,747 Don't you fuckin' jerk off in my room again. 1311 00:53:40,771 --> 00:53:42,182 I catch you jerking off in my room again, 1312 00:53:42,206 --> 00:53:44,240 - I'll whoop your ass. - It's too late. 1313 00:53:44,275 --> 00:53:47,195 - Douche! - I'm only gonna jerk off to the katie parts. 1314 00:53:49,146 --> 00:53:51,992 [Katie] Do you get the feeling that we were being watched? 1315 00:53:52,016 --> 00:53:53,849 [Charlie] Watched? No. 1316 00:53:53,884 --> 00:53:55,618 Listen to? Definitely. 1317 00:53:55,653 --> 00:53:57,130 Ah. [Giggles] 1318 00:53:57,154 --> 00:53:59,589 [Both chattering] 1319 00:54:01,859 --> 00:54:04,093 - Well, I had fun today. - Yes, I noticed. 1320 00:54:04,128 --> 00:54:05,861 [Both laugh] 1321 00:54:05,896 --> 00:54:07,874 - Thank you for walking me home. - Of course. 1322 00:54:07,898 --> 00:54:09,565 So, party tomorrow night? 1323 00:54:09,600 --> 00:54:12,168 - I will be there. - Okay. See you. 1324 00:54:15,105 --> 00:54:16,939 - See you. - To be continued. 1325 00:54:16,974 --> 00:54:18,207 Yes. 1326 00:54:26,283 --> 00:54:29,018 That fucking bitch. 1327 00:54:30,688 --> 00:54:33,088 Well, looks like we got a traitor in our midst. 1328 00:54:33,123 --> 00:54:34,891 What? Where? 1329 00:54:36,594 --> 00:54:38,861 You gonna take care of that? 1330 00:54:38,896 --> 00:54:40,696 It'll be my pleasure. 1331 00:54:43,133 --> 00:54:44,893 I didn't tell you to stop. 1332 00:54:50,808 --> 00:54:52,041 Teeth. 1333 00:55:04,154 --> 00:55:05,888 Katie. 1334 00:55:05,923 --> 00:55:07,156 Katie! 1335 00:55:09,326 --> 00:55:11,827 - Katie! - What? 1336 00:55:11,862 --> 00:55:13,206 Why weren't you at the car wash 1337 00:55:13,230 --> 00:55:14,296 yesterday, Katie? 1338 00:55:14,331 --> 00:55:16,298 Because I was in class, Becca. 1339 00:55:16,333 --> 00:55:17,833 That car wash was official 1340 00:55:17,868 --> 00:55:20,869 - Sigma Business, bitch. - I was in class. 1341 00:55:20,904 --> 00:55:23,105 You think this is all some big joke, don't you? 1342 00:55:23,140 --> 00:55:25,218 I didn't join just so I could wash cars with my tits. 1343 00:55:25,242 --> 00:55:27,354 And all you seem to care about these days is looking for ways 1344 00:55:27,378 --> 00:55:29,889 - to fuck over Charlie. - And all you seem to care about 1345 00:55:29,913 --> 00:55:31,758 is trying to find ways to fuck him. 1346 00:55:31,782 --> 00:55:34,083 Ugh! Why are you like this, Becca? 1347 00:55:34,118 --> 00:55:36,586 This is your last warning. 1348 00:55:40,891 --> 00:55:42,369 All right, boys, big night tonight. 1349 00:55:42,393 --> 00:55:44,237 We need the lacrosse team to commit. 1350 00:55:44,261 --> 00:55:46,039 Our future pretty much depends on it. 1351 00:55:46,063 --> 00:55:47,841 Douchenozzle, what's the theme of the party? 1352 00:55:47,865 --> 00:55:50,332 "Paintapalooza." Flesh is your canvas. 1353 00:55:50,367 --> 00:55:53,702 I love it. Jonesy. 1354 00:55:53,737 --> 00:55:55,382 If you see one of the members of the lacrosse team 1355 00:55:55,406 --> 00:55:57,017 that looks the least bit bored, 1356 00:55:57,041 --> 00:55:58,818 you put a beer in his hand and a hot slam-piece 1357 00:55:58,842 --> 00:56:00,353 on his arm and we show these guys 1358 00:56:00,377 --> 00:56:02,745 the best fucking party of their lives, okay? Yeah. 1359 00:56:02,780 --> 00:56:04,758 - Get some! Get some! - Sarge, sarge, sarge! 1360 00:56:04,782 --> 00:56:08,083 Sarge, it's a paint party, not a paint gun party. 1361 00:56:08,118 --> 00:56:09,952 - Yes, sir! - Yeah. 1362 00:56:09,987 --> 00:56:12,421 Listen, okay, I need you to keep a lookout 1363 00:56:12,456 --> 00:56:13,900 for the kappy nu goons tonight. 1364 00:56:13,924 --> 00:56:15,335 If any of those dickheads get within 1365 00:56:15,359 --> 00:56:17,337 50 feet of the perimeter, you eliminate them. 1366 00:56:17,361 --> 00:56:19,695 Can you handle that, soldier? 1367 00:56:19,730 --> 00:56:21,141 With extreme prejudice, sir. 1368 00:56:21,165 --> 00:56:23,666 - Good, go on. - You're all warriors. 1369 00:56:23,701 --> 00:56:25,401 Gonna get some! Hoorah! 1370 00:56:27,071 --> 00:56:28,270 Van dyke, I need you 1371 00:56:28,305 --> 00:56:30,016 to setup cameras all around the house. 1372 00:56:30,040 --> 00:56:32,052 I want to catch people doing some crazy shit tonight. 1373 00:56:32,076 --> 00:56:33,842 Can you handle that? 1374 00:56:33,877 --> 00:56:35,455 Yeah, I don't think that's gonna be a problem. 1375 00:56:35,479 --> 00:56:36,979 Guys, all eyes on Billy. 1376 00:56:37,014 --> 00:56:39,281 [All chanting] Billy! 1377 00:56:41,151 --> 00:56:42,818 [Music playing] 1378 00:56:44,421 --> 00:56:46,388 [All chattering] 1379 00:56:46,423 --> 00:56:48,134 Let's light the fires, let's keep it tight, 1380 00:56:48,158 --> 00:56:49,436 and remember lacrosse team. 1381 00:56:49,460 --> 00:56:51,237 Bring 'em in. Come on in, guys. 1382 00:56:51,261 --> 00:56:53,462 [Cheering] 1383 00:56:53,497 --> 00:56:55,464 Let's go, boys! 1384 00:56:55,499 --> 00:56:58,100 [Music playing] 1385 00:57:03,373 --> 00:57:05,174 Hey! What'd all say 1386 00:57:05,209 --> 00:57:09,044 we get this fucking party started! 1387 00:57:09,079 --> 00:57:11,213 [All cheering] 1388 00:57:11,248 --> 00:57:12,948 Whew! 1389 00:57:37,441 --> 00:57:39,408 Hey ladies. It's a killer party, huh? 1390 00:57:39,443 --> 00:57:43,879 You know I would love to show you around the house. 1391 00:57:43,914 --> 00:57:46,181 Or not. 1392 00:57:46,216 --> 00:57:49,852 Ouch. Sorry, man. 1393 00:57:49,887 --> 00:57:52,121 - That was brutal. - Yeah. 1394 00:57:52,156 --> 00:57:55,124 You saw that, did you? That's great. 1395 00:57:55,159 --> 00:57:57,826 Hey, I know how you feel. 1396 00:57:57,861 --> 00:57:59,773 All I ever used to do was strike out. 1397 00:57:59,797 --> 00:58:01,897 I didn't see my first non-internet tit 1398 00:58:01,932 --> 00:58:03,065 till last year. 1399 00:58:03,100 --> 00:58:06,835 Excuse me. 1400 00:58:06,870 --> 00:58:09,805 Jonesy, I have been in a vaginal rut 1401 00:58:09,840 --> 00:58:11,206 for three god damn years, 1402 00:58:11,241 --> 00:58:13,119 and I thought that banging old whore Pearl 1403 00:58:13,143 --> 00:58:14,554 might've given me a little boost, right? 1404 00:58:14,578 --> 00:58:17,312 But all it gave me was chlamydia. 1405 00:58:17,347 --> 00:58:20,516 Look, I know it sucks, but trust me, 1406 00:58:20,551 --> 00:58:22,217 it'll get better. 1407 00:58:22,252 --> 00:58:24,987 Yeah, that's easy for you to say, rainmaker, 1408 00:58:25,022 --> 00:58:26,499 but not all of us are blessed 1409 00:58:26,523 --> 00:58:29,224 with your religious like abilities to monsoon the poon. 1410 00:58:29,259 --> 00:58:32,127 [Hisses] 1411 00:58:32,162 --> 00:58:36,098 Maybe it's time I spray it forward. 1412 00:58:52,149 --> 00:58:54,116 - Hi. - Want some paint? 1413 00:58:54,151 --> 00:58:55,284 Thank you. 1414 00:58:58,121 --> 00:59:00,222 Hey, think fast. 1415 00:59:00,257 --> 00:59:02,057 [Laughing] 1416 00:59:02,092 --> 00:59:04,092 I'm marking my territory. 1417 00:59:04,127 --> 00:59:05,505 Oh, two can play that game. 1418 00:59:05,529 --> 00:59:07,930 Hey, okay. 1419 00:59:07,965 --> 00:59:09,475 - What's that supposed to be? - It's a heart. 1420 00:59:09,499 --> 00:59:13,202 Oh, Charlie, that's really corny. 1421 00:59:13,237 --> 00:59:15,904 I could tell by that constipated look on your face 1422 00:59:15,939 --> 00:59:18,318 -the lacrosse team hasn't shown up yet. - No, not yet. 1423 00:59:18,342 --> 00:59:20,253 And I'm on the verge of freaking the fuck out. 1424 00:59:20,277 --> 00:59:22,611 Well, don't sweat it. 1425 00:59:22,646 --> 00:59:24,390 I have a feeling things are gonna turn around 1426 00:59:24,414 --> 00:59:26,115 a whole lot. 1427 00:59:27,951 --> 00:59:29,351 Oh, thank god. 1428 00:59:29,386 --> 00:59:31,197 - I gotta handle this, but, uh... - Okay. 1429 00:59:31,221 --> 00:59:34,323 Okay, thank you. To be continued. 1430 00:59:34,358 --> 00:59:36,124 Hey guys, how're you doing? 1431 00:59:36,159 --> 00:59:37,960 Welcome to Alpha Chi Gamma. 1432 00:59:37,995 --> 00:59:40,162 Pretty serious fucking party, bro. 1433 00:59:40,197 --> 00:59:42,164 Thank you, sir. More booze in there. 1434 00:59:42,199 --> 00:59:43,610 Miss lisa here has your paint. 1435 00:59:43,634 --> 00:59:45,067 Here you go, boys. 1436 00:59:45,102 --> 00:59:47,369 Holy shit, you're so fucking hot. 1437 00:59:47,404 --> 00:59:49,371 Why thank you, little guy. 1438 00:59:49,406 --> 00:59:52,441 Do you know you're not so bad yourself. 1439 00:59:52,476 --> 00:59:54,487 Looks like someone's pinky's about to get stinky, 1440 00:59:54,511 --> 00:59:56,912 am I right, boys? 1441 00:59:56,947 --> 00:59:58,491 All right, all right, all right. 1442 00:59:58,515 --> 01:00:00,415 He's gonna get laid tonight. 1443 01:00:00,450 --> 01:00:01,961 All right, boys, grab your weapons, 1444 01:00:01,985 --> 01:00:03,252 let's head inside. 1445 01:00:03,287 --> 01:00:04,497 - Follow me. - I'll see you later. 1446 01:00:04,521 --> 01:00:07,122 [All cheering] 1447 01:00:08,225 --> 01:00:09,958 Right this way, boys. 1448 01:00:09,993 --> 01:00:11,159 Way to go, ladies. 1449 01:00:11,194 --> 01:00:12,405 Can I have your attention please? 1450 01:00:12,429 --> 01:00:13,606 Sorry to interrupt your game. 1451 01:00:13,630 --> 01:00:15,208 But we have some very special guests 1452 01:00:15,232 --> 01:00:16,198 with us this evening. 1453 01:00:16,233 --> 01:00:17,633 Fellas, come on in. 1454 01:00:17,668 --> 01:00:19,279 - File on in. Thank you, Heather. - Shit! 1455 01:00:19,303 --> 01:00:20,947 This beer pong table kicks ass. 1456 01:00:20,971 --> 01:00:22,271 She certainly does, wiv. 1457 01:00:22,306 --> 01:00:25,207 Gentlemen, welcome to the bro-olympics. 1458 01:00:25,242 --> 01:00:28,143 The deal is if we lose you walk. 1459 01:00:28,178 --> 01:00:30,979 But if we win, you're in. 1460 01:00:31,014 --> 01:00:33,248 - Yeah. - Deal. 1461 01:00:33,283 --> 01:00:35,183 - Let the games begin. - [Cheering] 1462 01:00:35,218 --> 01:00:37,386 Number one, flip cup. 1463 01:00:37,421 --> 01:00:39,354 - [Cheering] - It's huge. 1464 01:00:39,389 --> 01:00:41,067 Obviously, we play a little differently. 1465 01:00:41,091 --> 01:00:43,525 Don't worry, we got this. We got this. 1466 01:00:43,560 --> 01:00:46,395 We're getting our house back. Let's go. 1467 01:00:46,430 --> 01:00:49,031 [Music playing] 1468 01:01:53,563 --> 01:01:55,575 All right, don't worry. We'll get 'em on the next one. 1469 01:01:55,599 --> 01:01:57,043 We'll get 'em on the next one. 1470 01:01:57,067 --> 01:01:58,378 All right, everybody. Settle down. 1471 01:01:58,402 --> 01:02:02,137 Second event. Body darts. 1472 01:02:02,172 --> 01:02:06,508 That's my fucking specialty. That's my specialty. 1473 01:02:06,543 --> 01:02:08,610 [Charlie] Body darts. 1474 01:02:08,645 --> 01:02:11,213 First person to scream or spill his beer, loses. 1475 01:02:11,248 --> 01:02:14,116 [No audio] 1476 01:02:24,795 --> 01:02:27,229 You got this. He ain't got shit to wear. 1477 01:02:27,264 --> 01:02:29,398 [All chattering] 1478 01:02:31,201 --> 01:02:32,779 He's takin' it! He's takin' it! 1479 01:02:32,803 --> 01:02:34,569 - [Cheering] - God damn it! 1480 01:02:34,604 --> 01:02:37,172 Son of a bitch... ow! 1481 01:02:37,207 --> 01:02:39,008 [No audio] 1482 01:02:58,795 --> 01:03:01,430 Don't fuckin' touch it! 1483 01:03:01,465 --> 01:03:03,331 Final round, beer pong. 1484 01:03:03,366 --> 01:03:07,602 No, wiv. In this house, two cups. 1485 01:03:07,637 --> 01:03:09,171 What the fuck is two cups? 1486 01:03:09,206 --> 01:03:11,740 Two cups, two balls, one shot. 1487 01:03:11,775 --> 01:03:14,409 All right, man. We got this. 1488 01:03:14,444 --> 01:03:16,311 [Music playing] 1489 01:03:17,414 --> 01:03:19,548 Let's go, Zack. 1490 01:03:30,827 --> 01:03:32,538 Nice shot, Zack. Nice shot. 1491 01:03:32,562 --> 01:03:34,207 Go find douchenozzle now. 1492 01:03:34,231 --> 01:03:36,142 Wait, I think it's your turn to go now. 1493 01:03:36,166 --> 01:03:38,326 - Isn't it, Charlie? - It sure is, boys, cheers. 1494 01:03:40,570 --> 01:03:44,339 There you fucking are, i... Whoa! Holy shit. 1495 01:03:44,374 --> 01:03:46,241 Did you, um... 1496 01:03:46,276 --> 01:03:49,611 I did, and it was awesome. 1497 01:03:49,646 --> 01:03:51,546 Nice. Now fucking come on! 1498 01:03:51,581 --> 01:03:53,582 We gotta get outta here. Sorry, Betty. 1499 01:03:53,617 --> 01:03:55,428 - I'm Billy, by the way. - I'm good. 1500 01:03:55,452 --> 01:03:57,752 Ah! I got it in my eyes. Oh, god, it burns. 1501 01:03:57,787 --> 01:03:59,632 Well, stop touching your fucking eyes, douche. 1502 01:03:59,656 --> 01:04:00,833 I found him, but I don't know 1503 01:04:00,857 --> 01:04:02,468 what fucking use he's gonna be. 1504 01:04:02,492 --> 01:04:04,203 I got it all in my eyes. I can't see for shit. 1505 01:04:04,227 --> 01:04:06,272 - But it was worth it. - What, you guys gonna forfeit? 1506 01:04:06,296 --> 01:04:09,264 - No, no, no. - Step aside, Charlie. 1507 01:04:09,299 --> 01:04:12,667 Uh, Jonesy, wait a second. Are you sure about this? 1508 01:04:12,702 --> 01:04:14,836 - This is a triple shot. - Trust me. 1509 01:04:14,871 --> 01:04:16,371 I'm a professional. 1510 01:04:19,376 --> 01:04:21,643 [Music playing] 1511 01:04:47,604 --> 01:04:49,404 [Cheering] 1512 01:04:56,780 --> 01:04:58,580 Drink, bitch. 1513 01:05:03,486 --> 01:05:06,388 Well, I got to admit, that was pretty badass. 1514 01:05:06,423 --> 01:05:08,323 So... 1515 01:05:08,358 --> 01:05:09,724 We're in. 1516 01:05:09,759 --> 01:05:11,593 [Cheering continues] 1517 01:05:13,396 --> 01:05:15,764 We got our pledges, baby. 1518 01:05:31,915 --> 01:05:34,516 [Mumbles] 1519 01:05:34,551 --> 01:05:37,886 I'm gonna keep it brief, but tomorrow morning Alpha Chi Gamma 1520 01:05:37,921 --> 01:05:40,622 is officially motherfucking back. 1521 01:05:45,428 --> 01:05:48,463 And we are motherfucking here to stay. 1522 01:05:48,498 --> 01:05:51,533 [Cheering, music playing] 1523 01:05:51,568 --> 01:05:53,246 ♪ Strobe lights, light sticks ♪ 1524 01:05:53,270 --> 01:05:54,903 ♪ Shots on big tits ♪ 1525 01:05:54,938 --> 01:05:56,482 ♪ Shake 'em, baby, for the camera run ♪ 1526 01:05:56,506 --> 01:05:57,950 ♪ Now you can make me your manager ♪ 1527 01:05:57,974 --> 01:05:59,518 ♪ 'Cause you're far from an amateur ♪ 1528 01:05:59,542 --> 01:06:00,886 ♪ Back shots, I'mma damage her ♪ 1529 01:06:00,910 --> 01:06:02,655 ♪ I can tell when I dance with her ♪ 1530 01:06:02,679 --> 01:06:04,390 ♪ She was grindin' me up against the wall ♪ 1531 01:06:04,414 --> 01:06:06,325 ♪ I got beers and unlimited alcohol ♪ 1532 01:06:06,349 --> 01:06:08,027 ♪ The college life, I'm goin' till I'm gone ♪ 1533 01:06:08,051 --> 01:06:11,286 ♪ Fuck it, let's make out on the jumbotron ♪ 1534 01:06:11,321 --> 01:06:13,355 ♪ Mm, let's go ♪ 1535 01:06:13,390 --> 01:06:15,357 ♪ Okay, okay, okay ♪ 1536 01:06:15,392 --> 01:06:16,992 ♪ Mm, let's go ♪ 1537 01:06:17,027 --> 01:06:18,860 ♪ Okay, okay, okay ♪ 1538 01:06:18,895 --> 01:06:20,962 ♪ Mm, let's go ♪ 1539 01:06:20,997 --> 01:06:22,664 ♪ Okay, okay, okay ♪ 1540 01:06:22,699 --> 01:06:24,966 ♪ Mm, let's go ♪ 1541 01:06:25,001 --> 01:06:26,812 ♪ This is the best time of my life ♪ 1542 01:06:26,836 --> 01:06:28,547 ♪ Don't wanna commit, admit no wife ♪ 1543 01:06:28,571 --> 01:06:30,416 ♪ I'm in a house party feelin' nice ♪ 1544 01:06:30,440 --> 01:06:32,351 ♪ And we were so turned up, that the cops came twice ♪ 1545 01:06:32,375 --> 01:06:33,753 ♪ Third time they came to drink with us ♪ 1546 01:06:33,777 --> 01:06:34,987 ♪ Real shit, they were hollering ♪ 1547 01:06:35,011 --> 01:06:36,444 ♪ To paint with us ♪ 1548 01:06:36,479 --> 01:06:37,523 ♪ Facts, and we ain't gotta ♪ 1549 01:06:37,547 --> 01:06:38,580 ♪ Talk no more ♪ 1550 01:06:38,615 --> 01:06:39,692 ♪ I'm on the frat life ♪ 1551 01:06:39,716 --> 01:06:41,516 ♪ So let's fuckin' go ♪ 1552 01:06:41,551 --> 01:06:43,585 ♪ Mm, let's go ♪ 1553 01:06:43,620 --> 01:06:45,387 ♪ Okay, okay, okay ♪ 1554 01:06:45,422 --> 01:06:47,389 ♪ Mm, let's go ♪ 1555 01:06:47,424 --> 01:06:49,024 ♪ Okay, okay, okay ♪ 1556 01:06:49,059 --> 01:06:50,892 ♪ Mm, let's go ♪ 1557 01:06:50,927 --> 01:06:52,627 ♪ Okay, okay, okay ♪ 1558 01:06:52,662 --> 01:06:56,464 - ♪ Mm, let's go. - ♪ yo, it's time to go ♪ 1559 01:06:56,499 --> 01:06:57,799 I have to admit, 1560 01:06:57,834 --> 01:06:59,412 you guys sure know how to throw a party. 1561 01:06:59,436 --> 01:07:01,303 What're you doing here, Becca? 1562 01:07:01,338 --> 01:07:02,615 I'm here to rage my face off, katie, 1563 01:07:02,639 --> 01:07:03,905 just like you. 1564 01:07:03,940 --> 01:07:04,940 Drink up, Charlie. 1565 01:07:04,974 --> 01:07:06,608 Though I have to admit, 1566 01:07:06,643 --> 01:07:08,610 there is one thing missing. 1567 01:07:08,645 --> 01:07:10,445 - What? - The truth. 1568 01:07:10,480 --> 01:07:11,980 Don't, Becca, please. 1569 01:07:12,015 --> 01:07:14,916 Either you tell him or I will. 1570 01:07:14,951 --> 01:07:16,818 Tell me what? What's going on? 1571 01:07:16,853 --> 01:07:18,698 You see, it wasn't actually your fault, 1572 01:07:18,722 --> 01:07:20,499 those fireworks destroyed your house. 1573 01:07:20,523 --> 01:07:24,659 - Becca, shut up. - Aj rigged the fireworks. 1574 01:07:24,694 --> 01:07:27,362 When this fucking thing goes off, 1575 01:07:27,397 --> 01:07:28,997 huh, goodbye Alpha Chi. 1576 01:07:29,032 --> 01:07:31,533 And you took the blame. 1577 01:07:31,568 --> 01:07:33,802 Of course he did have a little help. 1578 01:07:33,837 --> 01:07:35,737 Katie and I distracted you. 1579 01:07:35,772 --> 01:07:37,973 So AJ could sabotage your shit. 1580 01:07:42,746 --> 01:07:44,913 Is that true? 1581 01:07:44,948 --> 01:07:47,682 - Charlie, I'm sorry... - That's true. 1582 01:07:47,717 --> 01:07:49,395 That night has haunted me for three years, 1583 01:07:49,419 --> 01:07:52,454 and you helped cause it? 1584 01:07:52,489 --> 01:07:55,757 [Chuckles] I think you should leave. 1585 01:07:55,792 --> 01:07:57,472 - Charlie, i... - Cheers. 1586 01:08:00,597 --> 01:08:03,465 Why are you fucking like this, Becca? 1587 01:08:03,500 --> 01:08:06,368 I think Charlie just cunt punted you 1588 01:08:06,403 --> 01:08:07,869 out of this party, bitch. 1589 01:08:18,047 --> 01:08:20,716 [Music playing] 1590 01:08:37,500 --> 01:08:41,069 - Oh, fuck, man down. - [Yelling incoherently] 1591 01:08:46,609 --> 01:08:48,743 - Darling. - Becca. 1592 01:08:48,778 --> 01:08:51,190 - Come on, get up. -I don't wanna go with you, Becca. 1593 01:08:51,214 --> 01:08:53,526 - Don't worry, I got you. - Becca, can I tell you something? 1594 01:08:53,550 --> 01:08:55,060 - You're an evil bitch, you know? - Uh-huh. 1595 01:08:55,084 --> 01:08:56,729 But you, you have some really nice... 1596 01:08:56,753 --> 01:08:58,764 - Stay with me, Charlie. - You have really nice boobs. 1597 01:08:58,788 --> 01:09:00,955 - Stay with me. - They're nice. 1598 01:09:00,990 --> 01:09:02,023 Hey. 1599 01:09:03,827 --> 01:09:05,794 Hey, Charlie. 1600 01:09:05,829 --> 01:09:08,496 Charlie, what the fuck, man. 1601 01:09:08,531 --> 01:09:10,098 Charlie. 1602 01:09:10,133 --> 01:09:12,100 Charlie, where're you going? 1603 01:09:12,135 --> 01:09:13,869 What the fuck, man? 1604 01:09:16,973 --> 01:09:18,651 [Charlie] Will you get me some more beer? 1605 01:09:18,675 --> 01:09:20,742 I think you've had enough. There we go. 1606 01:09:20,777 --> 01:09:22,521 What the fuck took you so long? 1607 01:09:22,545 --> 01:09:24,223 Are you kidding me? You're getting paid the same. 1608 01:09:24,247 --> 01:09:26,926 - Okay? Relax. - Why's everything so blurry, man? 1609 01:09:26,950 --> 01:09:28,990 I mean, I feel like I need some glasses. 1610 01:09:29,018 --> 01:09:30,585 Am I gonna be like Jonesy? 1611 01:09:30,620 --> 01:09:32,164 - I'm gonna be like Jonesy. - Relax, Charlie. 1612 01:09:32,188 --> 01:09:33,999 I just gave you a little something to chill 1613 01:09:34,023 --> 01:09:36,624 you out, you're gonna love this. 1614 01:09:36,659 --> 01:09:37,803 Hey, who's your two friends? 1615 01:09:37,827 --> 01:09:39,038 You are paying me in cash, right? 1616 01:09:39,062 --> 01:09:41,696 - Yes, of course. - Oh! Oh! 1617 01:09:41,731 --> 01:09:43,776 - All right, let's get nice and comfy. - My penis is out. 1618 01:09:43,800 --> 01:09:46,234 That's what we want. Okay, there we go. 1619 01:09:46,269 --> 01:09:49,537 - There we go. - Hey, whoa. Hey, wow. 1620 01:09:49,572 --> 01:09:51,217 - Nice boobs, babe. - Mm-hmm, they're gorgeous. 1621 01:09:51,241 --> 01:09:53,775 - Yeah. - Hey, wait a second. 1622 01:09:53,810 --> 01:09:56,878 - Wait a second. I like katie's boobs. - No, you don't. 1623 01:09:56,913 --> 01:10:00,815 - Who the fuck is katie? - Why don't you fondle them a bit? Yeah. 1624 01:10:00,850 --> 01:10:03,751 Drink up, Charlie. Drink up. 1625 01:10:03,786 --> 01:10:05,620 Drink up. There you go. 1626 01:10:05,655 --> 01:10:07,889 Chug it. Keep chugging. 1627 01:10:07,924 --> 01:10:12,527 - Oh, oh, that's my penis. - Are you seeing this, AJ? 1628 01:10:12,562 --> 01:10:14,206 - Loud and clear. - Animal! 1629 01:10:14,230 --> 01:10:16,998 - Who's your favorite animal? - Hey, get that money shot. 1630 01:10:17,033 --> 01:10:20,702 Oh, right. Let's get the money shot. 1631 01:10:20,737 --> 01:10:23,015 - All right. Hey, asshole. - What're you doing with the paint? 1632 01:10:23,039 --> 01:10:24,216 - You got paint. - Oh, yeah. 1633 01:10:24,240 --> 01:10:25,607 It's showtime. 1634 01:10:25,642 --> 01:10:27,152 You know what I wanted to say. 1635 01:10:27,176 --> 01:10:31,179 - Paint party! - You're gonna love the paint. 1636 01:10:31,214 --> 01:10:33,548 - [Laughing] - [Music playing] 1637 01:10:38,087 --> 01:10:40,288 Billy! Great night last night, huh? 1638 01:10:40,323 --> 01:10:42,034 Yeah, it was fucking great. 1639 01:10:42,058 --> 01:10:44,726 Ooh, ouch. What's his problem? 1640 01:10:44,761 --> 01:10:46,071 I don't know, I don't remember a thing 1641 01:10:46,095 --> 01:10:47,529 from last night. 1642 01:10:47,564 --> 01:10:49,308 And I got a serious wangover, man. 1643 01:10:49,332 --> 01:10:51,143 Well, that sounds like you blacked out. 1644 01:10:51,167 --> 01:10:52,177 - Yeah? - Nicely done. 1645 01:10:52,201 --> 01:10:53,245 - Thanks. - Ready for today? 1646 01:10:53,269 --> 01:10:54,269 You kidding me? 1647 01:10:54,304 --> 01:10:57,805 I'm just getting started. 1648 01:10:57,840 --> 01:11:00,675 - How you feel? - You're making a right, baby. 1649 01:11:00,710 --> 01:11:02,844 A living legend. 1650 01:11:02,879 --> 01:11:04,123 - Hello, ladies. - Hey, baby. 1651 01:11:04,147 --> 01:11:06,014 Hey, there. 1652 01:11:06,049 --> 01:11:08,049 - [Woman] Hi. - Hey, there. 1653 01:11:08,084 --> 01:11:10,252 [All chattering] 1654 01:11:18,027 --> 01:11:19,961 Here you are, Dean Kravitz. 1655 01:11:19,996 --> 01:11:22,130 Those are the 12 bid cards 1656 01:11:22,165 --> 01:11:24,125 which makes 15 members as requested. 1657 01:11:27,704 --> 01:11:29,114 Well, you're quite proud of yourself, 1658 01:11:29,138 --> 01:11:31,272 - aren't you, Charlie? - Yes sir, I am. 1659 01:11:31,307 --> 01:11:34,776 Good. Well, let me ask you something. 1660 01:11:34,811 --> 01:11:37,812 - Are you proud of this? - [Music playing] 1661 01:11:41,618 --> 01:11:42,784 Is that me? 1662 01:11:44,754 --> 01:11:47,088 Holy shit, that's me. 1663 01:11:47,123 --> 01:11:50,058 Holy shit, dude. That's Tanya tata's video. 1664 01:11:50,093 --> 01:11:51,870 You're banging Tanya tata's. 1665 01:11:51,894 --> 01:11:53,939 That's the hottest porn star in the game right now. 1666 01:11:53,963 --> 01:11:57,003 - How come I don't remember that? - You blacked out, remember? 1667 01:11:58,301 --> 01:12:00,602 Being blackout drunk doesn't exactly 1668 01:12:00,637 --> 01:12:02,314 strengthen your case, asshole. 1669 01:12:02,338 --> 01:12:04,339 Okay, Dean Kravitz, but, I mean, 1670 01:12:04,374 --> 01:12:06,285 this is just a video of a college kid having sex, 1671 01:12:06,309 --> 01:12:07,653 that's not a big deal, right? 1672 01:12:07,677 --> 01:12:10,979 Oh, it's not a big deal, Charlie. 1673 01:12:11,014 --> 01:12:15,617 It's a very big deal. 1674 01:12:15,652 --> 01:12:19,654 The Dean is a small dick weasel. 1675 01:12:19,689 --> 01:12:22,123 [Laughing] 1676 01:12:22,158 --> 01:12:23,825 Oh, shit. 1677 01:12:23,860 --> 01:12:25,793 Am I a small dick weasel, Charlie? 1678 01:12:25,828 --> 01:12:27,328 No, sir. 1679 01:12:27,363 --> 01:12:29,675 - Is that what you think of me? - No, sir. 1680 01:12:29,699 --> 01:12:31,977 I went out on a limb for you, you stupid little shithead. 1681 01:12:32,001 --> 01:12:34,068 And this is how you repay me? 1682 01:12:34,103 --> 01:12:35,881 Look, Dean, somebody's obviously trying 1683 01:12:35,905 --> 01:12:37,349 to sabotage us here, I would never... 1684 01:12:37,373 --> 01:12:40,675 This video was sent to every single person on campus! 1685 01:12:40,710 --> 01:12:43,044 You know what that means? 1686 01:12:43,079 --> 01:12:44,345 It means from now on 1687 01:12:44,380 --> 01:12:45,791 I'm not gonna be known as the Dean 1688 01:12:45,815 --> 01:12:47,760 with the many academic accomplishments 1689 01:12:47,784 --> 01:12:48,950 or civil war reenactments. 1690 01:12:48,985 --> 01:12:50,418 No, I'm gonna be known as 1691 01:12:50,453 --> 01:12:54,656 the Dean with the small weasel size dick! 1692 01:12:54,691 --> 01:12:58,259 - But sir, I'm telling... - No buts, Charlie! 1693 01:12:58,294 --> 01:13:00,406 One of the conditions of you getting your house back 1694 01:13:00,430 --> 01:13:02,930 was to always represent the school 1695 01:13:02,965 --> 01:13:04,666 in a positive light. 1696 01:13:04,701 --> 01:13:06,245 - Do you remember that? - Yes, sir. 1697 01:13:06,269 --> 01:13:08,429 Well, this video sure as shit doesn't do that. 1698 01:13:10,773 --> 01:13:13,875 Request for reinstatement denied. 1699 01:13:13,910 --> 01:13:14,942 Dean, please. 1700 01:13:14,977 --> 01:13:18,312 Vacate Alpha house now. 1701 01:13:18,347 --> 01:13:20,815 Vacate the house... 1702 01:13:20,850 --> 01:13:23,018 Vacate the house now. 1703 01:13:27,724 --> 01:13:29,234 Guys, don't you see I didn't do it? 1704 01:13:29,258 --> 01:13:30,758 Well, from what I saw, 1705 01:13:30,793 --> 01:13:32,304 you were pretty much balls deep 1706 01:13:32,328 --> 01:13:35,930 inside Tanya tata's which is seriously awesome. 1707 01:13:35,965 --> 01:13:37,810 Then how come I don't remember it? 1708 01:13:37,834 --> 01:13:39,411 You blacked out, remember? 1709 01:13:39,435 --> 01:13:41,769 Jesus fucking christ. 1710 01:13:41,804 --> 01:13:43,716 You know, I saw you last night with Becca, Charlie. 1711 01:13:43,740 --> 01:13:45,707 You were gropin' on her titties, 1712 01:13:45,742 --> 01:13:47,252 and then the two of you went off 1713 01:13:47,276 --> 01:13:48,810 into your fucking bedroom 1714 01:13:48,845 --> 01:13:50,823 and she had this fucking look on her face like, 1715 01:13:50,847 --> 01:13:53,448 "I'm gonna hit his fucking big ass pretty blonde cock." 1716 01:13:53,483 --> 01:13:55,883 Billy, I would never do that to you. 1717 01:13:55,918 --> 01:13:57,351 No? 'Cause I got one nut, 1718 01:13:57,386 --> 01:13:58,897 Charlie, I got one fucking nut, 1719 01:13:58,921 --> 01:14:00,121 but I got two eyes, 1720 01:14:00,156 --> 01:14:02,067 and I saw that fucking hungry ass look 1721 01:14:02,091 --> 01:14:03,235 on her face, she was, like, "oh!" 1722 01:14:03,259 --> 01:14:04,470 I'm gonna get to fucking lick 1723 01:14:04,494 --> 01:14:06,305 Charlie's dangly balls today. 1724 01:14:06,329 --> 01:14:08,796 I'm gonna get his fucking, sweet beautiful handsome boy 1725 01:14:08,831 --> 01:14:10,109 blonde cock all down my throat. 1726 01:14:10,133 --> 01:14:11,510 That's what's gonna happen. 1727 01:14:11,534 --> 01:14:13,245 And then I'm gonna get this other bitch 1728 01:14:13,269 --> 01:14:15,114 and she's gonna tongue his nuts while I fuck him. 1729 01:14:15,138 --> 01:14:16,381 That's what's gonna happen. 1730 01:14:16,405 --> 01:14:17,750 Then we're gonna do butt stuff. 1731 01:14:17,774 --> 01:14:19,140 We're gonna do butt stuff, 1732 01:14:19,175 --> 01:14:20,953 "and Billy's gonna be outside all by himself." 1733 01:14:20,977 --> 01:14:22,521 Smell that. What's that smell like? 1734 01:14:22,545 --> 01:14:24,523 Nothin' that's the fucking problem, Charlie. 1735 01:14:24,547 --> 01:14:28,049 Billy, Billy, don't you see? 1736 01:14:28,084 --> 01:14:29,484 Becca did this. 1737 01:14:29,519 --> 01:14:32,186 She did this, not me. You just said it. 1738 01:14:32,221 --> 01:14:34,233 You know what? You're un-fucking-believable. 1739 01:14:34,257 --> 01:14:36,101 There's no conspiracy here, Charlie. 1740 01:14:36,125 --> 01:14:37,458 You fucked up. 1741 01:14:37,493 --> 01:14:40,294 You destroyed the alphas twice. 1742 01:14:40,329 --> 01:14:43,164 You remember that. 1743 01:14:43,199 --> 01:14:45,032 Billy. 1744 01:14:45,067 --> 01:14:46,345 - Billy! - Let's go, noz. 1745 01:14:46,369 --> 01:14:49,771 Sorry, Charlie. Tanya tata's. 1746 01:15:04,120 --> 01:15:05,898 [Aj] All right, boys, we're gonna fuck 1747 01:15:05,922 --> 01:15:07,566 -so much tail in this place. - Back the fuck away 1748 01:15:07,590 --> 01:15:09,268 from the perimeter, I got zips in the wire. 1749 01:15:09,292 --> 01:15:10,369 - Zips in the wire. - [Laughs] 1750 01:15:10,393 --> 01:15:11,970 Is this guy fucking serious? 1751 01:15:11,994 --> 01:15:13,939 Hey, why don't you and your backup dancers 1752 01:15:13,963 --> 01:15:16,008 -keep on walkin'... -Hey, are you off your fucking meds 1753 01:15:16,032 --> 01:15:17,843 or something, get the fuck off my porch. 1754 01:15:17,867 --> 01:15:19,878 Medication's for pussies, bitch! Don't fuck with me. 1755 01:15:19,902 --> 01:15:22,247 - Holy... what do you feed this piece of shit? - Stand down, sarge. 1756 01:15:22,271 --> 01:15:23,816 - Battle's lost. - Thanks, Charlie. 1757 01:15:23,840 --> 01:15:25,973 Exactly what he said. Stand the fuck down. 1758 01:15:26,008 --> 01:15:27,820 All right, buddy. Go get laid maybe. 1759 01:15:27,844 --> 01:15:29,110 Fucking loosen up a bit. 1760 01:15:29,145 --> 01:15:30,556 Jesus christ. Are you kidding me? 1761 01:15:30,580 --> 01:15:32,013 All right, boys. 1762 01:15:32,048 --> 01:15:33,358 I want you to take these letters down 1763 01:15:33,382 --> 01:15:34,893 and clean up all this shit. 1764 01:15:34,917 --> 01:15:36,918 Boys, welcome to the new Kappa Nu! 1765 01:15:36,953 --> 01:15:38,353 [Cheering] 1766 01:15:51,167 --> 01:15:52,467 [Phone buzzing] 1767 01:16:05,648 --> 01:16:09,284 Son of a bitch. Son of a bitch. 1768 01:16:12,955 --> 01:16:16,090 Aw, yes! Yes! 1769 01:16:16,125 --> 01:16:19,961 I got 99 problems but a blank ain't one. 1770 01:16:19,996 --> 01:16:22,063 Spectacular abs. 1771 01:16:22,098 --> 01:16:24,332 Morgan Freeman's voice. 1772 01:16:24,367 --> 01:16:27,602 Three dicks at the same time. 1773 01:16:27,637 --> 01:16:30,471 Okay, hold on, you got 99 problems, 1774 01:16:30,506 --> 01:16:32,084 but three dicks at the same time 1775 01:16:32,108 --> 01:16:34,141 ain't one of 'em. 1776 01:16:34,176 --> 01:16:37,144 I don't understand this game. 1777 01:16:37,179 --> 01:16:38,880 This sucks. 1778 01:16:40,549 --> 01:16:42,617 - At least we're all together. - Hmm, yeah. 1779 01:16:42,652 --> 01:16:44,118 Yeah, we're all together. 1780 01:16:44,153 --> 01:16:45,993 In the fuckin' student lounge! 1781 01:16:46,022 --> 01:16:48,489 With the fuckin' loners and stoners, 1782 01:16:48,524 --> 01:16:50,992 and the fuckin' asians! 1783 01:16:51,027 --> 01:16:52,560 And the god damn 1784 01:16:52,595 --> 01:16:55,496 - "Lord of the Rings" fuckin' nerds! - Yes! 1785 01:16:55,531 --> 01:16:57,376 Actually, they're playing "game of thrones." 1786 01:16:57,400 --> 01:16:59,600 Yeah, what a bunch of fuckin' boners, man. 1787 01:16:59,635 --> 01:17:01,969 - More like throners. - I swear to god, Jonesy, 1788 01:17:02,004 --> 01:17:04,205 I will fuckin' murder you. 1789 01:17:04,240 --> 01:17:07,141 Shut your faceholes, you god damn crybabies. 1790 01:17:07,176 --> 01:17:09,644 We may have lost our house, 1791 01:17:09,679 --> 01:17:13,180 that does not mean we have to lose our hope. 1792 01:17:13,215 --> 01:17:15,082 Because a fraternity 1793 01:17:15,117 --> 01:17:18,085 is not the only way that men on this campus can connect. 1794 01:17:18,120 --> 01:17:21,088 Are you saying, we should go gay? 1795 01:17:21,123 --> 01:17:23,491 No, douche, you fucking idiot. 1796 01:17:23,526 --> 01:17:25,537 I'm saying we should join the Mason-Dixon reserve 1797 01:17:25,561 --> 01:17:26,661 officer training corp. 1798 01:17:26,696 --> 01:17:29,597 Boys, meet captain griffin. 1799 01:17:29,632 --> 01:17:31,299 Atten-hut. 1800 01:17:34,170 --> 01:17:35,570 [Passing gas] 1801 01:17:37,540 --> 01:17:39,140 Sarge, 1802 01:17:39,175 --> 01:17:42,977 the rotc prides itself 1803 01:17:43,012 --> 01:17:46,580 in taking fat, lazy, gutless deadbeats, 1804 01:17:46,615 --> 01:17:48,549 and turns 'em into men! 1805 01:17:51,253 --> 01:17:53,721 This is the sorriest case of sad sacks 1806 01:17:53,756 --> 01:17:55,589 that I have ever seen! 1807 01:17:55,624 --> 01:17:59,126 - Jesus. - I'm sorry. 1808 01:17:59,161 --> 01:18:01,062 But these fucktards, 1809 01:18:01,097 --> 01:18:02,497 they're hopeless. 1810 01:18:04,633 --> 01:18:06,267 Good luck, sarge. 1811 01:18:10,272 --> 01:18:11,672 Sweet Jesus. 1812 01:18:11,707 --> 01:18:14,175 We can't even get into fuckin' rotc. 1813 01:18:16,779 --> 01:18:18,112 What was that about? 1814 01:18:20,649 --> 01:18:21,983 Guys. 1815 01:18:24,286 --> 01:18:27,621 I'm sorry, Charlie, but we don't talk to traitors here. 1816 01:18:27,656 --> 01:18:30,091 Or people who betray us. 1817 01:18:30,126 --> 01:18:34,695 - Wow. You too, douche. - It's Mr. nozzle to you. 1818 01:18:34,730 --> 01:18:36,430 Listen to me, Charlie. 1819 01:18:36,465 --> 01:18:39,266 You lost our house for the second time, 1820 01:18:39,301 --> 01:18:43,270 of course, I'm gonna be a little upset about it. 1821 01:18:43,305 --> 01:18:45,439 That house was my life, okay? 1822 01:18:45,474 --> 01:18:47,319 That... that was all of our lives. 1823 01:18:47,343 --> 01:18:48,587 I mean, just look at poor douche, 1824 01:18:48,611 --> 01:18:50,077 look at him now. 1825 01:18:50,112 --> 01:18:51,556 - He looks exactly the same. - Yeah, 1826 01:18:51,580 --> 01:18:53,581 because we're that fucking pathetic. 1827 01:18:53,616 --> 01:18:55,761 - Doesn't get much worse than that. - Thank you, Billy. 1828 01:18:55,785 --> 01:18:57,752 Look, Billy, I'm sorry, okay, 1829 01:18:57,787 --> 01:18:59,664 but I just came from Van dyke's house 1830 01:18:59,688 --> 01:19:03,057 - and I got a way to get the house back. - No, you're not 1831 01:19:03,092 --> 01:19:05,559 gonna be able to fool me with that bullshit again. 1832 01:19:05,594 --> 01:19:08,707 Billy, I know you're pissed and you... god damn it, you should be, 1833 01:19:08,731 --> 01:19:10,642 - but just give me one more chance. - No, no, no, no! 1834 01:19:10,666 --> 01:19:12,077 You don't get another chance. 1835 01:19:12,101 --> 01:19:13,478 All right, you had a second chance 1836 01:19:13,502 --> 01:19:16,470 - and you blew it, you understand? - Yeah. 1837 01:19:16,505 --> 01:19:18,472 Hey, I made some mistakes, Billy. 1838 01:19:18,507 --> 01:19:20,419 And we've all made some mistakes, even you. 1839 01:19:20,443 --> 01:19:21,586 But god damn it, we're brothers 1840 01:19:21,610 --> 01:19:24,645 and brothers forgive. 1841 01:19:24,680 --> 01:19:27,581 Now, I never told you this, but it was my dad's dream 1842 01:19:27,616 --> 01:19:29,784 that I would become more than his son some day. 1843 01:19:29,819 --> 01:19:31,786 I would become his brother. 1844 01:19:31,821 --> 01:19:33,698 And I know he's not here, but god damn it, 1845 01:19:33,722 --> 01:19:35,767 I know he would be proud to see his brothers forgive 1846 01:19:35,791 --> 01:19:38,092 and unite. 1847 01:19:38,127 --> 01:19:40,261 Billy, I'm begging you. 1848 01:19:46,402 --> 01:19:50,571 Wow, that was quite a speech there, Dr. king. 1849 01:19:50,606 --> 01:19:52,284 I mean, you know what, the dream is dead. 1850 01:19:52,308 --> 01:19:55,543 So, why don't you just hit the bricks? 1851 01:19:55,578 --> 01:19:57,498 You know, get the fuck out of here. 1852 01:20:06,255 --> 01:20:08,175 No, you stay right there, Charlie. 1853 01:20:11,427 --> 01:20:13,494 I say we give Charlie another chance. 1854 01:20:13,529 --> 01:20:16,097 Nope, nope, absolutely... Yep, yeah. 1855 01:20:16,132 --> 01:20:18,766 [Clears throat] Me, too. 1856 01:20:18,801 --> 01:20:20,468 I concur. 1857 01:20:20,503 --> 01:20:21,713 I don't know what that word means, 1858 01:20:21,737 --> 01:20:24,338 but I'm with sarge and Zack. 1859 01:20:26,742 --> 01:20:28,209 Billy. 1860 01:20:29,879 --> 01:20:32,447 I am truly, truly sorry. 1861 01:20:33,816 --> 01:20:35,616 But god damn it, I need you. 1862 01:20:45,594 --> 01:20:47,795 You're a son of a bitch, Charlie Martin. 1863 01:20:47,830 --> 01:20:50,264 - I agree. - All right. 1864 01:20:50,299 --> 01:20:52,166 All right, all right. 1865 01:20:52,201 --> 01:20:55,202 So, you got a way to get our house back. 1866 01:20:55,237 --> 01:20:56,877 I got a way. Boys... 1867 01:20:58,440 --> 01:20:59,674 Check this out. 1868 01:21:01,677 --> 01:21:04,411 What the... holy shit. 1869 01:21:04,446 --> 01:21:07,148 - Sick. - Holy sheep shit. 1870 01:21:12,788 --> 01:21:14,348 [Charlie] Katie! 1871 01:21:16,292 --> 01:21:19,160 By now I'm sure you've seen the sex tape. 1872 01:21:20,596 --> 01:21:21,907 But it wasn't me, I swear to god, 1873 01:21:21,931 --> 01:21:24,431 it was not me. 1874 01:21:24,466 --> 01:21:26,178 I mean, technically, it was me, 1875 01:21:26,202 --> 01:21:28,469 but I was setup. 1876 01:21:28,504 --> 01:21:31,705 Look, I got one last chance to make this thing right, 1877 01:21:31,740 --> 01:21:34,208 and when it's all said and done, 1878 01:21:34,243 --> 01:21:36,210 I hope that includes you, too. 1879 01:21:39,448 --> 01:21:42,616 I gotta go, uh... 1880 01:21:42,651 --> 01:21:45,653 To be continued, I hope. 1881 01:22:24,393 --> 01:22:26,961 How many condoms does she need? 1882 01:22:31,867 --> 01:22:33,634 Un-fucking-believable. 1883 01:22:42,378 --> 01:22:44,511 [People clapping] 1884 01:22:44,546 --> 01:22:47,581 Hey, hey, hey, you hold it right there, 1885 01:22:47,616 --> 01:22:48,816 Bob the fuckin' builder. 1886 01:22:48,851 --> 01:22:50,818 Oh, look everyone. It's the geeds. 1887 01:22:50,853 --> 01:22:52,664 Shouldn't you guys be on a park bench somewhere 1888 01:22:52,688 --> 01:22:54,532 - jerking each other off? - You know what, AJ? 1889 01:22:54,556 --> 01:22:56,468 You might've think that you've won, but reality, 1890 01:22:56,492 --> 01:22:57,869 you're a load that your mother 1891 01:22:57,893 --> 01:22:59,638 shoulda swallowed, and believe me when I say 1892 01:22:59,662 --> 01:23:01,528 she can fuckin' swallow. 1893 01:23:01,563 --> 01:23:02,974 This coming from a fucking homeless guy 1894 01:23:02,998 --> 01:23:04,365 on my new steps. 1895 01:23:04,400 --> 01:23:05,777 Face it, guys. You fucking lost. 1896 01:23:05,801 --> 01:23:08,636 Take your fucking filthy paws off that letter. 1897 01:23:08,671 --> 01:23:10,649 - This letter? -Yeah, that... Oh, you're so strong. 1898 01:23:10,673 --> 01:23:12,951 - That fucking letter? - Don't you fucking touch that a-hole! 1899 01:23:12,975 --> 01:23:16,277 Who the fuck's gonna stop me, man? You? 1900 01:23:16,312 --> 01:23:17,789 [Charlie] We will. 1901 01:23:17,813 --> 01:23:20,481 This fucking guy again? 1902 01:23:21,884 --> 01:23:23,417 Is that the Dean? 1903 01:23:23,452 --> 01:23:26,920 People, we have proof that we were setup. 1904 01:23:26,955 --> 01:23:28,600 - [Woman] What? - You see, 1905 01:23:28,624 --> 01:23:30,869 - bullshit. - We set cameras all over our house 1906 01:23:30,893 --> 01:23:33,327 in order to capture some memorable moments, 1907 01:23:33,362 --> 01:23:34,995 but in the process, 1908 01:23:35,030 --> 01:23:37,042 - we caught something else. - [Clears throat] Herpes! 1909 01:23:37,066 --> 01:23:39,400 Hey, I haven't had a fucking outbreak in weeks. 1910 01:23:39,435 --> 01:23:42,069 Mind your god damn business, sons of bitches. 1911 01:23:42,104 --> 01:23:43,982 Douchenozzle, if you will do the honors, please. 1912 01:23:44,006 --> 01:23:45,383 I can guarantee you those words 1913 01:23:45,407 --> 01:23:46,751 have never been spoken before. 1914 01:23:46,775 --> 01:23:48,753 - You got it, Charlie. - [Becca] Damn, girl. 1915 01:23:48,777 --> 01:23:50,889 Yeah, girl, you're an animal. You're an animal! 1916 01:23:50,913 --> 01:23:53,013 - [Charlie] Animal! - You have energy! 1917 01:23:53,048 --> 01:23:54,626 - [Tanya moaning] - Paint party! 1918 01:23:54,650 --> 01:23:56,583 [Becca] Are you seeing this, AJ? 1919 01:23:56,618 --> 01:23:57,818 Come on, actual animal. 1920 01:23:57,853 --> 01:23:59,431 Come on, shake those tatas, girl. 1921 01:23:59,455 --> 01:24:00,587 Let's go, let's go, yeah. 1922 01:24:00,622 --> 01:24:01,833 Hair back, hair back, [Growls]. 1923 01:24:01,857 --> 01:24:04,425 You heartless little strumpet! 1924 01:24:04,460 --> 01:24:06,037 - Wait... what this? - [Scoffs] 1925 01:24:06,061 --> 01:24:07,772 All this proves is she's a voyeuristic slut 1926 01:24:07,796 --> 01:24:09,407 with some kind of fucking rodent fetish. 1927 01:24:09,431 --> 01:24:11,609 - Yeah. -How in any way does this prove 1928 01:24:11,633 --> 01:24:15,703 -that he's not willing to do this shit? -[Katie] I'll tell you how. 1929 01:24:15,738 --> 01:24:17,682 - And what the fuck is that? - The reason that Charlie 1930 01:24:17,706 --> 01:24:20,341 doesn't remember having sex is because he didn't. 1931 01:24:20,376 --> 01:24:22,609 Well, willingly anyway. 1932 01:24:22,644 --> 01:24:23,988 I dug around in Becca's room 1933 01:24:24,012 --> 01:24:25,790 - and I found this. - That's bullshit. 1934 01:24:25,814 --> 01:24:28,682 Don't listen to her. She's just a pathetic loser. 1935 01:24:28,717 --> 01:24:29,983 It's vitamin k. 1936 01:24:30,018 --> 01:24:31,629 It has the same effect as a roofie 1937 01:24:31,653 --> 01:24:33,754 only ten times more powerful. 1938 01:24:33,789 --> 01:24:37,758 So, I'm a casual drug user. Big deal. 1939 01:24:37,793 --> 01:24:38,959 Becca dosed Charlie 1940 01:24:38,994 --> 01:24:40,138 and then she paid the porn star 1941 01:24:40,162 --> 01:24:41,762 to have sex with him. 1942 01:24:41,797 --> 01:24:43,475 I... i don't know what she's talking about. 1943 01:24:43,499 --> 01:24:45,566 The bitch is clearly an idiot. 1944 01:24:45,601 --> 01:24:47,645 I just... you know what... no... I mean, she just plotted... 1945 01:24:47,669 --> 01:24:50,704 - Shut up, Becca! - [Crowd groans] 1946 01:24:50,739 --> 01:24:52,906 Fuck, yeah, sis, right in the mud flaps. 1947 01:24:52,941 --> 01:24:54,541 Also, Dean Kravitz, 1948 01:24:54,576 --> 01:24:55,976 it was AJ and Kappa Nu 1949 01:24:56,011 --> 01:24:58,379 who sabotaged the fireworks three years ago. 1950 01:24:58,414 --> 01:24:59,791 They're the ones who are responsible, 1951 01:24:59,815 --> 01:25:01,659 and the alphas had nothing to do with it. 1952 01:25:01,683 --> 01:25:04,085 And I know this because I helped them do it. 1953 01:25:06,889 --> 01:25:09,056 I'm so sorry, Charlie. 1954 01:25:10,492 --> 01:25:11,959 Dean Kravitz, 1955 01:25:11,994 --> 01:25:13,060 you're not buying 1956 01:25:13,095 --> 01:25:14,506 this fucking bullshit, are you? 1957 01:25:14,530 --> 01:25:17,564 Actually, AJ, I am. 1958 01:25:17,599 --> 01:25:20,901 - [All groaning] - What? 1959 01:25:20,936 --> 01:25:24,471 - I hereby declare Alpha house... - No! This is my house! 1960 01:25:24,506 --> 01:25:26,050 - This is my house! - I'm gonna whoop his ass. 1961 01:25:26,074 --> 01:25:27,585 - No, no, no, he's mine. - No, come on. 1962 01:25:27,609 --> 01:25:29,087 I know you're prettier than me, 1963 01:25:29,111 --> 01:25:30,722 -but I'm stronger than you are. - Yeah. 1964 01:25:30,746 --> 01:25:31,812 [Groans] 1965 01:25:31,847 --> 01:25:34,982 - I'm sorry. - Ooh! 1966 01:25:35,017 --> 01:25:37,084 Aj? [Groans] Shit! 1967 01:25:37,119 --> 01:25:39,931 - Welcome to Kappa Nu, bitch! - Fucking asshole, just give it up... 1968 01:25:39,955 --> 01:25:41,922 - [Groaning continues] - What? 1969 01:25:41,957 --> 01:25:44,024 - Come here! - Get off me! 1970 01:25:46,061 --> 01:25:47,739 - Fuck you! - Hey, get back here! 1971 01:25:47,763 --> 01:25:50,197 You fucking pussy! Fuck you! 1972 01:25:50,232 --> 01:25:52,633 [All grunting] 1973 01:25:52,668 --> 01:25:54,579 That was like less harder than the last time. 1974 01:25:54,603 --> 01:25:56,537 - A-oh! - [Groans] 1975 01:25:59,875 --> 01:26:02,209 Fuck, my ass! Oh, shit! 1976 01:26:02,244 --> 01:26:04,845 - Ball check. - [Groans] 1977 01:26:07,249 --> 01:26:10,017 [Screams] 1978 01:26:10,052 --> 01:26:11,496 - Fuck your ass. - Fuck my ass. 1979 01:26:11,520 --> 01:26:13,721 - My fucking foot! - My ass! 1980 01:26:15,791 --> 01:26:17,691 Ah, fuck! 1981 01:26:17,726 --> 01:26:19,237 Okay, last time, let's go! 1982 01:26:19,261 --> 01:26:22,996 - One, two, three. - [Grunting continues] 1983 01:26:23,031 --> 01:26:26,066 Ah, shit! Boy, that was uneventful. 1984 01:26:26,101 --> 01:26:29,136 - [Clicking sound] - Oh... 1985 01:26:31,773 --> 01:26:33,541 You can thank me later. 1986 01:26:34,943 --> 01:26:37,911 All right, sarge, guard the perimeter. 1987 01:26:37,946 --> 01:26:39,580 Oh, fuck yeah! 1988 01:26:39,615 --> 01:26:42,082 - Fuck! - Fuck your foot. 1989 01:26:42,117 --> 01:26:44,185 [Gasping] 1990 01:26:48,023 --> 01:26:49,189 You know what? 1991 01:26:49,224 --> 01:26:51,002 Fuck your fucking legacy, bitch! 1992 01:26:51,026 --> 01:26:53,160 - Get out of my house! - [Screaming continues] 1993 01:26:53,195 --> 01:26:55,028 Oh, shit! 1994 01:26:55,063 --> 01:26:57,698 - [Both screaming] - [Becca] Holy shit! 1995 01:27:00,636 --> 01:27:02,603 - [Becca] Aj? - You all right, bro? 1996 01:27:08,810 --> 01:27:09,977 Dude. 1997 01:27:14,650 --> 01:27:16,617 [Crowd cheering] 1998 01:27:16,652 --> 01:27:20,521 Holy fuck, that was awesome! 1999 01:27:20,556 --> 01:27:21,855 That's enough! 2000 01:27:21,890 --> 01:27:23,635 I'm putting a stop to it right now! 2001 01:27:23,659 --> 01:27:25,025 Kappa Nu hangers 2002 01:27:25,060 --> 01:27:26,971 are endangering the lives of everyone here! 2003 01:27:26,995 --> 01:27:28,762 [Billy] Come here, Charlie. 2004 01:27:28,797 --> 01:27:30,542 I've decided to officially reinstate 2005 01:27:30,566 --> 01:27:32,599 Alpha Chi Gamma. 2006 01:27:32,634 --> 01:27:35,102 [Cheering continues] 2007 01:27:35,137 --> 01:27:38,072 It's gonna be good. It's gonna be good. 2008 01:27:39,775 --> 01:27:43,110 And, AJ, as for you, you're seriously fucked! 2009 01:27:47,683 --> 01:27:49,193 - Are you all right, Charlie? - I don't know. 2010 01:27:49,217 --> 01:27:52,052 I think I may have broke my ass. 2011 01:27:52,087 --> 01:27:55,089 Does this mean all is forgiven? 2012 01:27:58,994 --> 01:28:00,094 Oh, take it, Charlie. 2013 01:28:01,964 --> 01:28:04,242 [Charlie narrating] For the alphas and yours truly, 2014 01:28:04,266 --> 01:28:05,632 it was a storybook ending. 2015 01:28:05,667 --> 01:28:08,936 For AJ and Kappa Nu, not so much. 2016 01:28:08,971 --> 01:28:10,811 Aj suffered several broken ribs 2017 01:28:10,839 --> 01:28:12,306 but recovered just fine. 2018 01:28:12,341 --> 01:28:14,641 The damage to his reputation, however, 2019 01:28:14,676 --> 01:28:16,043 was beyond repair. 2020 01:28:16,078 --> 01:28:17,689 I hear he's at a community college now, 2021 01:28:17,713 --> 01:28:19,757 and the closest he gets to Greek life these days 2022 01:28:19,781 --> 01:28:21,626 is souvlaki night at the cafeteria. 2023 01:28:21,650 --> 01:28:24,818 ♪ It's time to forget about it ♪ 2024 01:28:24,853 --> 01:28:26,787 [Vocalizing] 2025 01:28:28,790 --> 01:28:31,758 ♪ It's time to forget about it ♪ 2026 01:28:31,793 --> 01:28:33,938 [Charlie] Becca served 50 hours of community service 2027 01:28:33,962 --> 01:28:36,930 with Tanya tatas for illegal drug distribution. 2028 01:28:36,965 --> 01:28:40,033 She is now her onset personal fluffer. 2029 01:28:40,068 --> 01:28:42,102 Jonesy got vc money to start a company 2030 01:28:42,137 --> 01:28:44,071 that converts vaginal discharge 2031 01:28:44,106 --> 01:28:45,806 into renewable energy. 2032 01:28:45,841 --> 01:28:47,874 And douche has new found confidence 2033 01:28:47,909 --> 01:28:49,654 after creating a first person shooter game 2034 01:28:49,678 --> 01:28:51,812 called "monsoon the poon." 2035 01:28:53,415 --> 01:28:55,126 And Billy made honor roll 2036 01:28:55,150 --> 01:28:56,917 and was accepted to mit. 2037 01:28:58,153 --> 01:28:59,664 [Laughs] Just kidding. 2038 01:28:59,688 --> 01:29:01,888 He's doing a victory lap at Mason-Dixon. 2039 01:29:01,923 --> 01:29:04,925 He's now dating ten's and doing lots of butt stuff. 2040 01:29:04,960 --> 01:29:06,293 ♪ Don't ask no questions ♪ 2041 01:29:06,328 --> 01:29:10,297 ♪ It's time to forget about it ♪ 2042 01:29:10,332 --> 01:29:11,899 [Vocalizing continues] 2043 01:29:13,769 --> 01:29:15,213 [Charlie] And me, I got to be the Alpha 2044 01:29:15,237 --> 01:29:16,737 I always dreamed of, 2045 01:29:16,772 --> 01:29:18,071 but more importantly, 2046 01:29:18,106 --> 01:29:20,807 I got katie and brotherhood. 2047 01:29:20,842 --> 01:29:22,120 I also got crabs from Tanya tatas 2048 01:29:22,144 --> 01:29:23,677 but, hey, that's life 2049 01:29:23,712 --> 01:29:25,712 when you're a motherfucking frat star. 2050 01:29:29,017 --> 01:29:29,983 [Music playing] 2051 01:29:30,018 --> 01:29:31,685 ♪ I can see sky ♪ 2052 01:29:31,720 --> 01:29:34,321 ♪ I wanna see the world ♪ 2053 01:29:34,356 --> 01:29:36,990 ♪ The bus doesn't stop here ♪ 2054 01:29:37,025 --> 01:29:42,696 ♪ I wanna celebrate every day ♪ 2055 01:29:42,731 --> 01:29:44,898 ♪ Yes, I want it all ♪ 2056 01:29:44,933 --> 01:29:47,401 ♪ Success doesn't stop here ♪ 2057 01:29:47,436 --> 01:29:52,339 ♪ And I enjoy it all every day ♪ 2058 01:29:52,374 --> 01:29:54,875 ♪ Took care of my business, feeling so surreal ♪ 2059 01:29:54,910 --> 01:29:56,888 ♪ See all my fans smile on the grill ♪ 2060 01:29:56,912 --> 01:29:59,157 ♪ 'Cause I came from somewhere in the middle of nowhere ♪ 2061 01:29:59,181 --> 01:30:00,858 ♪ I'm a self-made, something ♪ 2062 01:30:00,882 --> 01:30:02,727 ♪ They said I would be nothing, self-made ♪ 2063 01:30:02,751 --> 01:30:04,051 ♪ Now I get self-paid ♪ 2064 01:30:04,086 --> 01:30:05,296 ♪ Now they say I'm great, hey ♪ 2065 01:30:05,320 --> 01:30:06,764 ♪ Like we in the 8th grade ♪ 2066 01:30:06,788 --> 01:30:07,865 ♪ But I've been d's list ♪ 2067 01:30:07,889 --> 01:30:09,289 ♪ Since I was a shorty ♪ 2068 01:30:09,324 --> 01:30:11,202 ♪ Bring the heat like I lit a soufflé ♪ 2069 01:30:11,226 --> 01:30:12,470 ♪ Hit me with your toupee ♪ 2070 01:30:12,494 --> 01:30:13,838 ♪ Not satisfied with average ♪ 2071 01:30:13,862 --> 01:30:15,062 ♪ I'm beyond it ♪ 2072 01:30:15,097 --> 01:30:16,140 ♪ You'll see my brightness ♪ 2073 01:30:16,164 --> 01:30:17,764 ♪ That's beyond me ♪ 2074 01:30:17,799 --> 01:30:19,310 ♪ I'mma make it over those hardships ♪ 2075 01:30:19,334 --> 01:30:20,945 ♪ 'Cause I was born where they push hard ♪ 2076 01:30:20,969 --> 01:30:21,935 ♪ Get all the cash ♪ 2077 01:30:21,970 --> 01:30:23,370 ♪ Get all of my chips ♪ 2078 01:30:23,405 --> 01:30:25,283 ♪ Thank god, that's all I can say ♪ 2079 01:30:25,307 --> 01:30:26,417 ♪ When I look at my make, ♪ 2080 01:30:26,441 --> 01:30:27,974 ♪ My whip, my grind ♪ 2081 01:30:28,009 --> 01:30:29,053 ♪ Now it's time that I climb ♪ 2082 01:30:29,077 --> 01:30:30,043 ♪ Up the ladder, y'all ♪ 2083 01:30:30,078 --> 01:30:31,278 ♪ This way ♪ 2084 01:30:31,313 --> 01:30:32,279 ♪ Go be great and get high ♪ 2085 01:30:32,314 --> 01:30:33,847 ♪ Go high up, sky ♪ 2086 01:30:33,882 --> 01:30:36,983 ♪ The sky, I want to see the world ♪ 2087 01:30:37,018 --> 01:30:39,453 ♪ The bus doesn't stop here ♪ 2088 01:30:39,488 --> 01:30:43,890 ♪ I wanna celebrate every day ♪ 2089 01:30:43,925 --> 01:30:46,093 [Music continues] 2090 01:30:48,096 --> 01:30:50,041 - ♪ Break on 'em, saying ♪ - ♪ the sky ♪ 2091 01:30:50,065 --> 01:30:52,365 ♪ I wanna see the world ♪ 2092 01:30:52,400 --> 01:30:55,135 ♪ The bus doesn't stop here ♪ 2093 01:30:55,170 --> 01:31:00,807 ♪ I wanna celebrate every day ♪ 2094 01:31:00,842 --> 01:31:03,009 ♪ Yes, I want it all ♪ 2095 01:31:03,044 --> 01:31:05,779 ♪ Since this doesn't stop here ♪ 2096 01:31:05,814 --> 01:31:10,417 ♪ And I'll enjoy it all, ever day ♪ 2097 01:31:12,454 --> 01:31:17,825 ♪ last night was so fun we turned out the crowd ♪ 2098 01:31:19,494 --> 01:31:21,962 ♪ Hey, cute girls, bright hot ♪ 2099 01:31:21,997 --> 01:31:26,433 ♪ Think my girls are out of town ♪ 2100 01:31:26,468 --> 01:31:27,768 ♪ Hey ♪ 2101 01:31:27,803 --> 01:31:29,903 ♪ I'm turned up tonight ♪ 2102 01:31:29,938 --> 01:31:31,772 ♪ Have fun tonight ♪ 2103 01:31:31,807 --> 01:31:33,540 ♪ We livin' life ♪ 2104 01:31:33,575 --> 01:31:35,408 ♪ We came to party ♪ 2105 01:31:35,443 --> 01:31:37,277 ♪ I got no shame ♪ 2106 01:31:37,312 --> 01:31:39,045 ♪ No ring on me ♪ 2107 01:31:39,080 --> 01:31:40,781 ♪ And I came to play ♪ 2108 01:31:40,816 --> 01:31:44,184 ♪ Play, tonight I'm gonna get fucked up ♪ 2109 01:31:44,219 --> 01:31:47,187 ♪ Pass out until I wake up ♪ 2110 01:31:47,222 --> 01:31:50,090 ♪ Then, then, do it all again ♪ 2111 01:31:50,125 --> 01:31:51,558 ♪ Get fucked up ♪ 2112 01:31:51,593 --> 01:31:54,561 ♪ Pass out until I wake up ♪ 2113 01:31:54,596 --> 01:31:57,397 ♪ Then, then, do it all again ♪ 2114 01:31:57,432 --> 01:31:58,398 ♪ Again ♪ 2115 01:31:58,433 --> 01:32:00,033 [Music playing] 2116 01:32:03,839 --> 01:32:06,540 ♪ Do it all again, again ♪ 2117 01:32:06,575 --> 01:32:09,442 ♪ Tonight I'm gonna get fucked up ♪ 2118 01:32:09,477 --> 01:32:12,379 ♪ Pass out until I wake up ♪ 2119 01:32:12,414 --> 01:32:15,182 ♪ Then, then, do it all again ♪ 2120 01:32:15,217 --> 01:32:17,050 ♪ Get fucked up ♪ 2121 01:32:17,085 --> 01:32:20,020 ♪ Pass out until I wake up ♪ 2122 01:32:20,055 --> 01:32:22,923 ♪ Then, then, do it all again ♪ 2123 01:32:22,958 --> 01:32:24,591 ♪ Again ♪ 2124 01:32:24,626 --> 01:32:26,326 [Music continues] 2125 01:32:29,097 --> 01:32:33,300 ♪ Do it all again, again ♪ 2126 01:32:33,335 --> 01:32:37,470 ♪ Do it all again ♪ 2127 01:32:37,505 --> 01:32:39,873 ♪ I already had too many shots, shots ♪ 2128 01:32:39,908 --> 01:32:41,285 ♪ And I can't even think, think ♪ 2129 01:32:41,309 --> 01:32:42,553 ♪ But I don't really give a damn ♪ 2130 01:32:42,577 --> 01:32:44,188 ♪ I don't really give a damn ♪ 2131 01:32:44,212 --> 01:32:46,023 ♪ Pass me another drink, pass me another drink ♪ 2132 01:32:46,047 --> 01:32:47,425 ♪ I don't need no chaser, chaser ♪ 2133 01:32:47,449 --> 01:32:49,382 ♪ I'm gonna take it to the head ♪ 2134 01:32:49,417 --> 01:32:51,329 ♪ I'm gonna take it to the sheets ♪ 2135 01:32:51,353 --> 01:32:53,130 ♪ I'm gonna take it to the bed, god damn ♪ 2136 01:32:53,154 --> 01:32:55,155 ♪ I'm turned up tonight ♪ 2137 01:32:55,190 --> 01:32:57,157 ♪ Have fun tonight ♪ 2138 01:32:57,192 --> 01:32:59,159 ♪ We livin' life ♪ 2139 01:32:59,194 --> 01:33:00,861 ♪ We came to party ♪ 2140 01:33:00,896 --> 01:33:02,529 ♪ I got no shame ♪ 2141 01:33:02,564 --> 01:33:03,997 ♪ No ring on me ♪ 2142 01:33:04,032 --> 01:33:06,633 ♪ No ♪ - ♪ I came to play ♪ 2143 01:33:06,668 --> 01:33:09,469 ♪ Tonight I'm gonna get fucked up ♪ 2144 01:33:09,504 --> 01:33:12,405 ♪ Pass out until I wake up ♪ 2145 01:33:12,440 --> 01:33:15,275 ♪ Then, then, do it all again ♪ 2146 01:33:15,310 --> 01:33:17,077 ♪ Get fucked up ♪ 2147 01:33:17,112 --> 01:33:20,046 ♪ Pass out until I wake up ♪ 2148 01:33:20,081 --> 01:33:22,649 ♪ Then, then, do it all again ♪ 2149 01:33:22,684 --> 01:33:24,117 ♪ Again ♪ 2150 01:33:29,124 --> 01:33:33,326 ♪ Do it all again, again ♪ 2151 01:33:33,361 --> 01:33:38,232 ♪ Do it all again ♪ 157047