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1
00:00:06,093 --> 00:00:08,694
[Music playing]
2
00:00:13,801 --> 00:00:16,579
[Man narrating] All my life I
wanted to party like a frat star
3
00:00:16,603 --> 00:00:19,004
at Mason-Dixon University,
4
00:00:19,039 --> 00:00:21,373
the biggest fucking
party school in the south,
5
00:00:21,408 --> 00:00:24,877
and I wanted to do it
at Alpha Chi Gamma.
6
00:00:24,912 --> 00:00:26,523
Their parties
were one big wet dream
7
00:00:26,547 --> 00:00:28,714
filled with booze, drugs,
8
00:00:28,749 --> 00:00:31,050
and sex-starved sorority girls.
9
00:00:31,085 --> 00:00:34,753
♪ We're gonna
drink the night away ♪
10
00:00:34,788 --> 00:00:38,457
♪ Even though there's
nothing to celebrate ♪
11
00:00:38,492 --> 00:00:42,561
♪ Shot after shot,
keg after keg ♪
12
00:00:42,596 --> 00:00:45,731
♪ I'm about to take this
to the grave ♪
13
00:00:45,766 --> 00:00:47,466
♪ To the grave ♪
14
00:00:47,501 --> 00:00:49,045
♪ Let's go
put your shots in the sky ♪
15
00:00:49,069 --> 00:00:50,780
♪ I wanna see you
raise your glass up high ♪
16
00:00:50,804 --> 00:00:52,649
♪ Sparkle like
it's the fourth of July ♪
17
00:00:52,673 --> 00:00:54,551
♪ Bottles and models
are young and they're fly ♪
18
00:00:54,575 --> 00:00:56,386
♪ ladies they're nothin'
but rubbin' my chest ♪
19
00:00:56,410 --> 00:00:58,444
♪ Baby, I just wanna
see you undress ♪
20
00:00:58,479 --> 00:01:00,490
♪ She workin', she twerkin',
I'm smackin' her booty ♪
21
00:01:00,514 --> 00:01:02,592
♪ The camera was flashin',
we all in this movie ♪
22
00:01:02,616 --> 00:01:04,383
♪ I'm drunk, I'm faded ♪
23
00:01:04,418 --> 00:01:06,352
♪ She worked that, she wasted ♪
24
00:01:06,387 --> 00:01:07,897
♪ Her hair and t-shirt wet ♪
25
00:01:07,921 --> 00:01:10,022
♪ Dancin' like
she's havin' sex ♪
26
00:01:10,057 --> 00:01:11,957
♪ She know the homies watchin' ♪
27
00:01:11,992 --> 00:01:13,837
♪ Turn up,
let's get it poppin' ♪
28
00:01:13,861 --> 00:01:15,739
♪ More beer, cognac, and vodka ♪
29
00:01:15,763 --> 00:01:17,107
♪ Here's so nothin'
could stop her ♪
30
00:01:17,131 --> 00:01:19,965
♪ We're gonna drink
the night away ♪
31
00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:23,669
♪ Even though
there's nothin' to celebrate ♪
32
00:01:23,704 --> 00:01:27,439
♪ Shot after shot,
keg after keg ♪
33
00:01:27,474 --> 00:01:30,642
♪I'mma about to take this
to the grave ♪
34
00:01:30,677 --> 00:01:32,544
- Yeah!
- ♪ to the grave ♪
35
00:01:32,579 --> 00:01:34,124
♪ It's sorta like a fast car
switchin' lanes ♪
36
00:01:34,148 --> 00:01:36,059
♪ Couple more beers
my pitch'll change ♪
37
00:01:36,083 --> 00:01:38,150
♪ She should be the face
of maybelline ♪
38
00:01:38,185 --> 00:01:40,130
♪ And maybe I'm just truckin'
every girl I'm seein' ♪
39
00:01:40,154 --> 00:01:42,054
♪ We grindin' on the floor ♪
40
00:01:42,089 --> 00:01:43,800
♪ They keep askin' for more ♪
41
00:01:43,824 --> 00:01:45,535
♪ Party like tomorrow's
my last day ♪
42
00:01:45,559 --> 00:01:47,036
♪ I'm all the way gone,
I work hard to play ♪
43
00:01:47,060 --> 00:01:50,162
♪ We're gonna drink
the night away ♪
44
00:01:50,197 --> 00:01:53,899
♪ Even though
there's nothin' to celebrate ♪
45
00:01:53,934 --> 00:01:56,669
♪ Shot after shot... ♪
46
00:01:59,106 --> 00:02:00,617
[Top pops off can,
liquid pouring]
47
00:02:00,641 --> 00:02:02,174
[Music playing]
48
00:02:02,209 --> 00:02:03,987
[Man narrating]
Alpha chi was in my blood.
49
00:02:04,011 --> 00:02:06,089
My great grandfather
was an Alpha president
50
00:02:06,113 --> 00:02:09,581
and my father torch
was an Alpha party legend.
51
00:02:09,616 --> 00:02:11,428
I grew up on stories
of Debauchery
52
00:02:11,452 --> 00:02:14,653
and Alpha's big rivalry
with Kappa Nu.
53
00:02:14,688 --> 00:02:16,166
All my life I wanted to grow up
54
00:02:16,190 --> 00:02:17,990
and party like a frat star,
55
00:02:18,025 --> 00:02:19,691
and now was my time.
56
00:02:19,726 --> 00:02:21,794
And all I had to do
was become one.
57
00:02:21,829 --> 00:02:23,840
[Man ♪2] Stay in your
god damn ice bucket.
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00:02:23,864 --> 00:02:26,665
You guys are the saddest,
sorriest, most pathetic
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00:02:26,700 --> 00:02:28,812
bunch of fucking pussies
I've ever seen in my life.
60
00:02:28,836 --> 00:02:30,947
The Sorority's next door,
you little bitches.
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00:02:30,971 --> 00:02:33,806
This is hell week.
It's supposed to be tough.
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00:02:33,841 --> 00:02:35,685
This is what separates
the real alphas
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00:02:35,709 --> 00:02:37,576
from crying pussies like you.
64
00:02:37,611 --> 00:02:38,922
What's wrong with you guys?
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00:02:38,946 --> 00:02:40,657
Hang in there, boys,
we got this.
66
00:02:40,681 --> 00:02:43,193
- Hang in there. -Did I ask
you to speak, pledge?
67
00:02:43,217 --> 00:02:45,150
No sir,
Alex fucking Watson, sir.
68
00:02:45,185 --> 00:02:48,620
Can you die of hypothermia, man?
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00:02:48,655 --> 00:02:50,122
Suck it up, Coleman.
70
00:02:50,157 --> 00:02:51,935
- I'm sorry, thank you, sir.
- You're pussies.
71
00:02:51,959 --> 00:02:53,470
I don't think
I can make it, Charlie.
72
00:02:53,494 --> 00:02:55,572
My dick has gone
all the way back inside me.
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00:02:55,596 --> 00:02:56,962
It's retreated.
74
00:02:56,997 --> 00:02:58,708
We don't retreat, John,
just stay in there.
75
00:02:58,732 --> 00:03:00,610
- Just stay right there.
- Does anybody else have
76
00:03:00,634 --> 00:03:02,078
a weird fucking boner right now?
77
00:03:02,102 --> 00:03:04,603
Did I ask to hear about
your fucking codicil glitch?
78
00:03:04,638 --> 00:03:07,239
- Oh god, I can't make it!
- Stay right there, John.
79
00:03:07,274 --> 00:03:08,952
Don't... stay in.
Stick with it, come on.
80
00:03:08,976 --> 00:03:11,677
Yeah, you gonna quit, MacGyver,
81
00:03:11,712 --> 00:03:14,480
- huh, you gonna give up?
- Yes, sir, I think I am.
82
00:03:14,515 --> 00:03:16,025
I'll take his time.
I'll take John's time.
83
00:03:16,049 --> 00:03:18,550
Now, why would you do that?
84
00:03:18,585 --> 00:03:20,886
You enjoy having
frozen balls, pledge?
85
00:03:20,921 --> 00:03:22,488
No, sir.
86
00:03:22,523 --> 00:03:25,657
I enjoy my balls
at a healthy 95 degrees, sir.
87
00:03:25,692 --> 00:03:27,003
But if one brother falls,
we all fall,
88
00:03:27,027 --> 00:03:28,605
and I can't let
that happen, sir.
89
00:03:28,629 --> 00:03:30,707
Fuck, yeah, give me some
of MacGyver's time, too.
90
00:03:30,731 --> 00:03:31,941
My cock and balls have weathered
91
00:03:31,965 --> 00:03:33,543
worse storms than this shit.
92
00:03:33,567 --> 00:03:35,868
Whew!
93
00:03:35,903 --> 00:03:37,903
Who else takes a dive, too?
94
00:03:37,938 --> 00:03:39,215
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
95
00:03:39,239 --> 00:03:42,641
- I'll take his time.
- [All cheering]
96
00:03:42,676 --> 00:03:44,142
Yes!
97
00:03:44,177 --> 00:03:46,289
Finally you shitheads
are starting to understand.
98
00:03:46,313 --> 00:03:49,982
Brotherhood is unity.
Congratulations, Charlie.
99
00:03:50,017 --> 00:03:51,194
Looks like you got a little bit
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00:03:51,218 --> 00:03:52,962
of your old man
in you after all.
101
00:03:52,986 --> 00:03:54,831
Get this cocksucker
out of this ice bucket.
102
00:03:54,855 --> 00:03:56,856
Take me out.
103
00:04:00,027 --> 00:04:02,694
My dick looks like
a sun-dried tomato.
104
00:04:02,729 --> 00:04:05,030
More like
a god damn douchenozzle.
105
00:04:05,065 --> 00:04:07,232
- Douche, douche.
- Fucking douchenozzle.
106
00:04:07,267 --> 00:04:09,167
[Laughing]
107
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[All chanting] Douchenozzle! Douchenozzle!
Douchenozzle!
108
00:04:11,872 --> 00:04:13,038
[Cheering]
109
00:04:13,073 --> 00:04:16,275
Yeah, boy! Douchenozzle!
110
00:04:16,310 --> 00:04:17,921
[Charlie narrating]
Believe it or not,
111
00:04:17,945 --> 00:04:19,589
this was the best fucking day
112
00:04:19,613 --> 00:04:20,613
of my life.
113
00:04:20,647 --> 00:04:22,047
[Music playing]
114
00:04:22,082 --> 00:04:23,893
♪ 'Cause it's been a long week ♪
115
00:04:23,917 --> 00:04:25,684
♪ And it's way overdue ♪
116
00:04:25,719 --> 00:04:29,054
I came to party, have fun,
stress free with my crew ♪
117
00:04:29,089 --> 00:04:31,757
♪ Oh, yeah,
girl, let's get drunk now ♪
118
00:04:31,792 --> 00:04:33,992
♪ It's time to forget about it ♪
119
00:04:34,027 --> 00:04:35,661
♪ We came to party ♪
120
00:04:35,696 --> 00:04:37,829
♪ It's time to forget about it ♪
121
00:04:37,864 --> 00:04:39,264
♪ We're taking shots now ♪
122
00:04:39,299 --> 00:04:41,633
♪ It's time to forget about it ♪
123
00:04:41,668 --> 00:04:43,168
♪ Don't ask no questions ♪
124
00:04:43,203 --> 00:04:45,237
♪ It's time to forget about it ♪
125
00:04:45,272 --> 00:04:47,273
[Vocalizing]
126
00:04:50,777 --> 00:04:53,879
♪ It's time to forget about it ♪
127
00:04:53,914 --> 00:04:55,781
Douchenozzle!
128
00:04:55,816 --> 00:04:57,961
- I'm fucking MacGyver, man.
- Will you relax, man?
129
00:04:57,985 --> 00:04:59,295
Just drink it in, brother.
130
00:04:59,319 --> 00:05:01,230
Welcome to the next
four years of our lives.
131
00:05:01,254 --> 00:05:04,122
- A-fucking-men, Charlie.
- You sons of bitches.
132
00:05:04,157 --> 00:05:06,692
Get over here, Billy.
133
00:05:06,727 --> 00:05:09,161
Zero fucks
will be given tonight, boy!
134
00:05:09,196 --> 00:05:11,096
[All cheering]
135
00:05:11,131 --> 00:05:13,966
Hey, Chuck, this is, um...
136
00:05:14,001 --> 00:05:16,068
You don't even
know my name, do you?
137
00:05:16,103 --> 00:05:18,081
No, baby, I swear
I do know your name.
138
00:05:18,105 --> 00:05:21,607
It's uh... slam-piece.
139
00:05:21,642 --> 00:05:24,643
It's sophie,
you fucking asshole.
140
00:05:24,678 --> 00:05:26,745
Nice to meet you, sophie.
141
00:05:26,780 --> 00:05:28,180
I was in the ballpark.
142
00:05:28,215 --> 00:05:30,649
Holy fuck, this isn't a dream,
is it, boys?
143
00:05:30,684 --> 00:05:32,851
No, douchenozzle,
it's not a fucking dream.
144
00:05:32,886 --> 00:05:36,088
Douchenozzle?
That's what we're going with?
145
00:05:36,123 --> 00:05:37,934
You guys didn't like
sun-dried tomato?
146
00:05:37,958 --> 00:05:39,658
No, we hated it.
147
00:05:39,693 --> 00:05:42,661
Wheel of fellatio!
148
00:05:42,696 --> 00:05:46,264
♪ If you have time to party
and you gotta go home ♪
149
00:05:46,299 --> 00:05:49,835
♪ It's a party all night
check the double-shot zone ♪
150
00:05:49,870 --> 00:05:51,870
♪ Tell the dj turn it loud ♪
151
00:05:51,905 --> 00:05:54,840
♪ 'Cause you got it goin' down ♪
152
00:05:54,875 --> 00:05:56,609
[All yelling]
153
00:05:58,311 --> 00:06:00,045
♪ Set forth in fact ♪
154
00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:01,891
♪ Shorty got a Booty
make you break your neck ♪
155
00:06:01,915 --> 00:06:03,993
♪ Uh, I'm shining lights,
camera, action ♪
156
00:06:04,017 --> 00:06:05,795
♪ Come on, baby, I'm trying
to get some action ♪
157
00:06:05,819 --> 00:06:07,263
♪ Now you like it, bend it off ♪
158
00:06:07,287 --> 00:06:09,198
♪ Feeling myself,
now it's time to boss ♪
159
00:06:09,222 --> 00:06:11,100
♪ Yeah, I'm feeling myself,
now it's time to ball ♪
160
00:06:11,124 --> 00:06:13,792
♪ Feeling myself,
now it's time to ball ♪
161
00:06:13,827 --> 00:06:16,161
Oh, Billy, just think your dad
and my dad
162
00:06:16,196 --> 00:06:17,940
stood in these exact same spots,
163
00:06:17,964 --> 00:06:19,876
drinking the same shit,
telling the same stories
164
00:06:19,900 --> 00:06:21,177
while getting hanging doggies
165
00:06:21,201 --> 00:06:22,779
and Tennessee chugger's
of their own.
166
00:06:22,803 --> 00:06:25,103
To sons of Alpha fathers.
We did it, buddy.
167
00:06:25,138 --> 00:06:26,449
- We did it.
- To your father, man.
168
00:06:26,473 --> 00:06:28,040
My dad's a dick.
169
00:06:28,075 --> 00:06:29,341
[Music playing]
170
00:06:29,376 --> 00:06:32,210
[All] A-l-p-h-a, C-h-i!
171
00:06:32,245 --> 00:06:34,746
Alpha Chi! Alpha Chi! Alpha Chi!
172
00:06:34,781 --> 00:06:36,915
[Cheering]
173
00:06:36,950 --> 00:06:38,417
Woo!
174
00:06:38,452 --> 00:06:40,263
- Charlie, everything ready?
- Yes, sir, it is.
175
00:06:40,287 --> 00:06:42,265
I got my hands on some
insane chinese fireworks.
176
00:06:42,289 --> 00:06:44,033
It's gonna look like
world war iii out there.
177
00:06:44,057 --> 00:06:45,368
All right,
let's go to the backyard.
178
00:06:45,392 --> 00:06:46,803
- Don't fuck it up.
- I won't, baby.
179
00:06:46,827 --> 00:06:48,037
- See you out there.
- Oh, hold on.
180
00:06:48,061 --> 00:06:49,072
China isn't exactly known
181
00:06:49,096 --> 00:06:50,729
for their safety regulations.
182
00:06:50,764 --> 00:06:52,375
Would you relax,
douchenozzle, okay?
183
00:06:52,399 --> 00:06:53,432
Let's go.
184
00:06:53,467 --> 00:06:56,468
[All] Wheel of fellatio!
185
00:06:56,503 --> 00:06:58,437
[Music playing]
186
00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:09,181
To the leaders of tomorrow,
187
00:07:09,216 --> 00:07:11,127
not being able
to remember tonight!
188
00:07:11,151 --> 00:07:13,452
[All cheering]
189
00:07:13,487 --> 00:07:15,164
We got our new brother Charlie
coming out
190
00:07:15,188 --> 00:07:16,232
with a big surprise...
191
00:07:16,256 --> 00:07:18,457
Any second now.
192
00:07:18,492 --> 00:07:19,925
Let's go, guys.
193
00:07:21,528 --> 00:07:25,063
- Freeze, assholes.
- And if we refuse?
194
00:07:25,098 --> 00:07:26,409
Then I'll pump
20 gallons of vodka
195
00:07:26,433 --> 00:07:28,277
into that cute, little
face of yours.
196
00:07:28,301 --> 00:07:31,470
They're bluffing.
197
00:07:31,505 --> 00:07:34,306
- [Yelling]
- Ah, give it to me.
198
00:07:34,341 --> 00:07:36,119
Fuck you guys,
is that all you got?
199
00:07:36,143 --> 00:07:38,221
-[Alex] Trying to keep them safe.
- Oh, wow.
200
00:07:38,245 --> 00:07:40,512
- That's impressive.
- What can I say?
201
00:07:40,547 --> 00:07:42,391
I'm a daughter
of the american revolution.
202
00:07:42,415 --> 00:07:44,160
Look, ladies, you're super hot.
203
00:07:44,184 --> 00:07:46,295
- We would love to stand here and talk...
-[Alex] Charlie!
204
00:07:46,319 --> 00:07:48,186
But we really got to go.
205
00:07:48,221 --> 00:07:50,889
- Oh.
- No.
206
00:07:50,924 --> 00:07:53,425
No, I think we can
hang out for a minute.
207
00:07:53,460 --> 00:07:55,427
- Oops.
- I... you know...
208
00:07:55,462 --> 00:07:57,273
I have a seat reserved for you,
209
00:07:57,297 --> 00:07:59,131
[sniffs] On my face.
210
00:07:59,166 --> 00:08:01,377
[Alex] Charlie Martin, get
your ass to the stage.
211
00:08:01,401 --> 00:08:04,336
- Listen...
- Katie.
212
00:08:04,371 --> 00:08:06,449
Look, I would love
nothing more than to sit here
213
00:08:06,473 --> 00:08:08,017
and have
a wonderful conversation
214
00:08:08,041 --> 00:08:09,852
with you, but I really need
to get up there.
215
00:08:09,876 --> 00:08:11,521
- Come on, guys.
- No, I vote that
216
00:08:11,545 --> 00:08:13,845
we just keep looking
at their tits.
217
00:08:13,880 --> 00:08:15,847
- [Cell phone ringing]
- Oh.
218
00:08:15,882 --> 00:08:17,193
- It's AJ.
- Uh-huh.
219
00:08:17,217 --> 00:08:19,384
- Good to go.
- Yeah.
220
00:08:19,419 --> 00:08:21,264
All right, boys,
you're free to go.
221
00:08:21,288 --> 00:08:24,856
Hey, listen,
when I climax tonight,
222
00:08:24,891 --> 00:08:26,402
- and I will...
- Ugh.
223
00:08:26,426 --> 00:08:29,060
You're the one
I'm gonna be thinking about.
224
00:08:29,095 --> 00:08:30,306
[Alex]
Charlie, get to the stage.
225
00:08:30,330 --> 00:08:31,930
Ugh, what a douche.
226
00:08:31,965 --> 00:08:34,043
Billy, sometimes you just
sound like Shakespeare.
227
00:08:34,067 --> 00:08:36,579
- Doesn't he? Come on, let's go.
- I'm fucking poet.
228
00:08:36,603 --> 00:08:38,581
All right, here he is.
What the fuck, man?
229
00:08:38,605 --> 00:08:40,072
All right, sorry.
230
00:08:43,109 --> 00:08:46,812
- All right.
- [All] Three, two, one...
231
00:08:46,847 --> 00:08:50,783
- [Music playing]
- [Cheering]
232
00:08:55,355 --> 00:08:57,589
Oh, fuck yeah!
233
00:08:57,624 --> 00:09:00,158
[All yelling]
234
00:09:00,193 --> 00:09:01,873
[Chanting] Alpha Chi!
235
00:09:16,243 --> 00:09:18,154
[Computerized voice]
Error, system overload.
236
00:09:18,178 --> 00:09:22,614
- Error. Error. Error.
- God damn! Uh-oh!
237
00:09:22,649 --> 00:09:25,183
That one was pretty
fucking close to the stage.
238
00:09:25,218 --> 00:09:27,219
No, no, no, I got it. I got it.
239
00:09:27,254 --> 00:09:29,232
- I got it.
- You need to turn these off.
240
00:09:29,256 --> 00:09:31,489
Trust me.
Here comes the big one.
241
00:09:31,524 --> 00:09:36,561
- [Beep]
- Watch this.
242
00:09:36,596 --> 00:09:39,298
[Yelling continues]
243
00:09:50,510 --> 00:09:52,288
[John] Man, china's got to get
244
00:09:52,312 --> 00:09:53,656
their safety regulations
together.
245
00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:56,181
Well, I mean,
things can be worse, right?
246
00:09:56,216 --> 00:09:59,351
[Glass shatters]
247
00:09:59,386 --> 00:10:00,619
What the fuck, man?
248
00:10:00,654 --> 00:10:02,231
You fucking ruined
the fucking house.
249
00:10:02,255 --> 00:10:04,335
Your first fucking party,
look what you do.
250
00:10:10,030 --> 00:10:12,241
[Charlie narrating] I felt
terrible about what happened.
251
00:10:12,265 --> 00:10:14,232
But I knew we were in deep shit
252
00:10:14,267 --> 00:10:16,245
unless we could convince
the one person
253
00:10:16,269 --> 00:10:18,047
who held our fate in his hands,
254
00:10:18,071 --> 00:10:19,371
Dean Kravitz.
255
00:10:19,406 --> 00:10:21,083
[Dean Kravitz]
This is Alpha house,
256
00:10:21,107 --> 00:10:22,240
the most historically
257
00:10:22,275 --> 00:10:24,943
significant landmark on campus.
258
00:10:24,978 --> 00:10:26,378
A palace.
259
00:10:26,413 --> 00:10:29,014
And these are you hooligans.
260
00:10:29,049 --> 00:10:30,215
See?
261
00:10:30,250 --> 00:10:32,090
Children playing in the field.
262
00:10:32,118 --> 00:10:34,953
"Hi. Hi. Look, fireworks."
263
00:10:34,988 --> 00:10:38,023
Fireworks going off.
We're having fun.
264
00:10:38,058 --> 00:10:42,628
"Yay! Yay! Yay!"
265
00:10:49,269 --> 00:10:50,402
[Yelling]
266
00:10:54,607 --> 00:10:57,242
Your charter is revoked.
267
00:10:57,277 --> 00:10:59,244
[Grandfather clock chimes]
268
00:10:59,279 --> 00:11:01,123
[Charlie narrating]
And just like that,
269
00:11:01,147 --> 00:11:02,981
with the ink of one stamp,
270
00:11:03,016 --> 00:11:05,517
I lost my house, my brothers,
271
00:11:05,552 --> 00:11:07,119
and my dream.
272
00:11:16,429 --> 00:11:19,397
Of course, life goes on,
seasons change,
273
00:11:19,432 --> 00:11:22,000
fraternities rush, butts chug.
274
00:11:27,374 --> 00:11:29,218
And what do I have to show
for the last three years
275
00:11:29,242 --> 00:11:30,375
of my life?
276
00:11:32,779 --> 00:11:34,546
Lingering guilt,
277
00:11:34,581 --> 00:11:38,049
an embarrassing obsession with
"orange is the new black."
278
00:11:38,084 --> 00:11:39,228
- And this dick.
- [Boing sound]
279
00:11:39,252 --> 00:11:41,019
Charlie.
280
00:11:41,054 --> 00:11:45,590
Charlie Martin. It's me, Jonesy.
281
00:11:45,625 --> 00:11:47,392
Room 225.
282
00:11:47,427 --> 00:11:49,561
- You're my R.A.
- Am I?
283
00:11:49,596 --> 00:11:51,107
- You are.
- Great.
284
00:11:51,131 --> 00:11:52,708
I was wondering if it's okay
285
00:11:52,732 --> 00:11:56,401
if I use the common room for
a few hours in private.
286
00:11:56,436 --> 00:11:58,547
I'm on the verge of a huge
breakthrough
- Why don't you
287
00:11:58,571 --> 00:12:01,183
- ...in my research.
-Just call it jerking off like everyone else?
288
00:12:01,207 --> 00:12:03,119
Well, because it's not
jerking off, actually.
289
00:12:03,143 --> 00:12:05,087
[Man on loud speaker]
All right, listen up.
290
00:12:05,111 --> 00:12:07,212
I'm Alexander Julius
chesterfield cranston
291
00:12:07,247 --> 00:12:11,449
- of Kappa Nu.
- [Students] Woo! Kappa Nu!
292
00:12:11,484 --> 00:12:13,685
Do you party like
a god-damned rock star?
293
00:12:13,720 --> 00:12:15,387
[Girls] Yeah!
294
00:12:15,422 --> 00:12:17,756
Do you wanna blackout
and bang hot "soristitutes"?
295
00:12:17,791 --> 00:12:19,758
[Girls] Yeah!
296
00:12:19,793 --> 00:12:23,361
Do you eat so much pussy
that you get lockjaw?
297
00:12:23,396 --> 00:12:24,707
[Girls] Oh, yeah!
298
00:12:24,731 --> 00:12:26,042
Do you have anal beads hanging
299
00:12:26,066 --> 00:12:27,665
from your rearview mirror?
300
00:12:27,700 --> 00:12:30,235
[Girls] Huh?
301
00:12:30,270 --> 00:12:32,771
- Then pledge Kappa Nu!
- [Girls cheering]
302
00:12:32,806 --> 00:12:35,540
Fucktards need not apply.
303
00:12:35,575 --> 00:12:37,308
Get the fuck outta here!
304
00:12:37,343 --> 00:12:38,643
Man.
305
00:12:38,678 --> 00:12:42,313
Being in a frat
would be so awesome.
306
00:12:42,348 --> 00:12:44,616
It's not a frat,
it's a fraternity.
307
00:12:44,651 --> 00:12:47,585
Would you call
your country a cunt?
308
00:12:47,620 --> 00:12:49,054
Wouldn't that be "count"?
309
00:12:50,423 --> 00:12:51,689
No?
310
00:12:51,724 --> 00:12:53,335
If you wanna join
a fraternity so bad,
311
00:12:53,359 --> 00:12:56,161
- why don't you rush?
- You heard the the man.
312
00:12:56,196 --> 00:12:58,296
"Fucktards need not apply."
313
00:12:58,331 --> 00:13:00,465
Oh, yeah. Kappa Nu!
314
00:13:00,500 --> 00:13:02,801
Okay. [Laughs]
315
00:13:02,836 --> 00:13:05,604
So, the common room.
316
00:13:07,707 --> 00:13:10,108
Right. Whatever, man.
317
00:13:10,143 --> 00:13:11,754
- You got it.
- Awesome.
318
00:13:11,778 --> 00:13:13,311
Thanks, Charlie.
319
00:13:13,346 --> 00:13:15,580
[Music playing,
record scratching]
320
00:13:23,690 --> 00:13:29,427
♪ I can't wait to breathe
and see the son today ♪
321
00:13:29,462 --> 00:13:31,763
♪ Is that asking for much? ♪
322
00:13:31,798 --> 00:13:37,469
A-I-p-h-a, C-h-i!
323
00:13:37,504 --> 00:13:40,505
Alpha Chi! Alpha Chi! Alpha Chi!
324
00:13:40,540 --> 00:13:44,209
Are there any
Alpha Chis out there?
325
00:13:44,244 --> 00:13:45,477
Any alphas!
326
00:13:47,680 --> 00:13:49,581
♪ Is that asking for much? ♪
327
00:13:49,616 --> 00:13:52,150
[Thunder rumbles]
328
00:13:52,185 --> 00:13:54,486
♪ Having some
of the best times of my life ♪
329
00:13:54,521 --> 00:13:56,398
♪ Couldn't see my past,
my future was too bright ♪
330
00:13:56,422 --> 00:13:58,334
♪ Livin' the legacy,
no one ahead of me ♪
331
00:13:58,358 --> 00:14:00,169
♪ Would that be the moment
I became a better me ♪
332
00:14:00,193 --> 00:14:01,770
♪ Honesty, royalty,
that is my pedigree ♪
333
00:14:01,794 --> 00:14:04,195
♪ This is the truth
and it set me free ♪
334
00:14:04,230 --> 00:14:05,808
♪ Happily I walked in destiny ♪
335
00:14:05,832 --> 00:14:07,643
♪ And obstacles
ain't got the best of me... ♪
336
00:14:07,667 --> 00:14:09,401
Ugh! [Coughs]
337
00:14:11,404 --> 00:14:13,182
♪ I'm makin' it happen
while livin' it ♪
338
00:14:13,206 --> 00:14:14,650
♪ Hubbard's a plus,
no derivative ♪
339
00:14:14,674 --> 00:14:16,719
♪ I stepped up
and tipped the initiative ♪
340
00:14:16,743 --> 00:14:18,387
♪ No slackin'
I gave all I got to give ♪
341
00:14:18,411 --> 00:14:20,278
♪ My education is first ♪
342
00:14:20,313 --> 00:14:21,857
♪ I kept it movin'
'cause things can be worse ♪
343
00:14:21,881 --> 00:14:23,526
[Echoing]
♪ worse, worse, worse, worse ♪
344
00:14:23,550 --> 00:14:24,682
♪ Hey hey ♪
345
00:14:24,717 --> 00:14:26,462
♪ The best days of my life ♪
346
00:14:26,486 --> 00:14:30,255
♪ Are forever and praise ♪
347
00:14:30,290 --> 00:14:32,891
♪ Hey ♪ - ♪ I die ♪
348
00:14:32,926 --> 00:14:38,229
♪ I stare success in the face ♪
349
00:14:38,264 --> 00:14:41,699
♪ And I will win not far ♪
350
00:14:41,734 --> 00:14:44,936
♪ I will sure not crawl ♪
351
00:14:44,971 --> 00:14:47,272
♪ They say hard work pays off ♪
352
00:14:47,307 --> 00:14:50,675
♪ Yes, I know it's true... ♪
353
00:14:50,710 --> 00:14:51,910
Cheers, dad.
354
00:14:55,215 --> 00:14:56,748
Hey, dad.
355
00:14:59,919 --> 00:15:01,419
I hear you!
356
00:15:01,454 --> 00:15:03,788
I won't give up.
357
00:15:03,823 --> 00:15:06,658
As god is my witness,
I will get this house back.
358
00:15:06,693 --> 00:15:09,761
I won't give up. I won't relent.
359
00:15:09,796 --> 00:15:11,463
I won't yield.
360
00:15:15,268 --> 00:15:16,768
I love you, dad.
361
00:15:23,810 --> 00:15:26,778
[Aj] A room. Hillman, boys,
look what we found here.
362
00:15:26,813 --> 00:15:28,424
[Laughing] Look at him.
363
00:15:28,448 --> 00:15:30,215
Dude, it's [Mumbles].
364
00:15:34,487 --> 00:15:37,555
- Wake up, motherfucker.
- What the fuck is this?
365
00:15:37,590 --> 00:15:39,435
This is me taking over
your fucking house
366
00:15:39,459 --> 00:15:41,859
'cause in six days,
this is gonna be property
367
00:15:41,894 --> 00:15:43,973
-of Kappa Nu.
-Yeah, in your fucking dreams,
asshole.
368
00:15:43,997 --> 00:15:47,432
Three years ago, you trashed
this motherfucking place.
369
00:15:47,467 --> 00:15:49,634
And now, no one's occupying it.
370
00:15:49,669 --> 00:15:53,371
And MDU rules state,
I can legally take over.
371
00:15:53,406 --> 00:15:55,017
Yeah, over my dead body
you're gonna take over.
372
00:15:55,041 --> 00:15:56,808
- [Laughs]
- [Yells]
373
00:15:56,843 --> 00:15:58,854
However you want it, man.
However the fuck you want it.
374
00:15:58,878 --> 00:16:00,489
- Let's do this.
- [Laughs]
375
00:16:00,513 --> 00:16:02,013
Oh, what the fuck?
376
00:16:02,048 --> 00:16:03,892
What're you gonna do,
draw dicks on my forehead?
377
00:16:03,916 --> 00:16:06,317
- That's real original, AJ!
- Yeah, we thought about that.
378
00:16:06,352 --> 00:16:07,563
But actually, we got something
379
00:16:07,587 --> 00:16:10,488
a little more creative
in mind for you.
380
00:16:10,523 --> 00:16:13,524
Right? Right?
Guys, shut the fuck up.
381
00:16:13,559 --> 00:16:15,460
[Charlie grunting]
382
00:16:16,729 --> 00:16:18,697
[Panting]
383
00:16:22,535 --> 00:16:23,935
Oh, shit.
384
00:16:23,970 --> 00:16:25,937
[Screams]
385
00:16:25,972 --> 00:16:27,405
[Groaning]
386
00:16:42,522 --> 00:16:43,755
What's this?
387
00:16:45,892 --> 00:16:48,003
[Charlie narrating] The way
to get back our fraternity
388
00:16:48,027 --> 00:16:50,528
was right there in front of me.
389
00:16:50,563 --> 00:16:52,041
Who would've thought
you could find such
390
00:16:52,065 --> 00:16:53,809
useful information in a book?
391
00:16:53,833 --> 00:16:55,033
Son of a bitch.
392
00:16:55,068 --> 00:16:56,368
[Grunts]
393
00:17:05,778 --> 00:17:08,479
[Girl moaning loudly]
394
00:17:08,514 --> 00:17:10,682
- Billy! Ah...
- [Moaning continues]
395
00:17:10,717 --> 00:17:13,017
- Sorry, man.
- Dude, what the fuck?
396
00:17:13,052 --> 00:17:15,386
Why do you have a dildo
glued to your forehead?
397
00:17:15,421 --> 00:17:17,322
It's a long story.
398
00:17:17,357 --> 00:17:18,600
It doesn't look too long to me.
399
00:17:18,624 --> 00:17:20,525
You're busy. I'll come back.
400
00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:24,529
No, no, no, you're cool.
Uh, chuckles, this is um...
401
00:17:24,564 --> 00:17:25,730
Stacey.
402
00:17:25,765 --> 00:17:27,832
Yeah, look, I got big news.
403
00:17:27,867 --> 00:17:30,368
Living room, what, five minutes?
404
00:17:33,973 --> 00:17:35,517
I think I'm gonna need
a little longer
405
00:17:35,541 --> 00:17:36,507
than five minutes.
406
00:17:36,542 --> 00:17:39,377
Good luck. All right.
407
00:17:45,418 --> 00:17:47,919
Um...
408
00:17:47,954 --> 00:17:50,455
- You have a dildo...
- Dildo on my forehead, I know.
409
00:17:50,490 --> 00:17:53,658
[Laughs] Are you jacking
it to Billy having sex?
410
00:17:53,693 --> 00:17:55,426
No. [Scoffs]
411
00:17:55,461 --> 00:17:58,029
I wasn't jerking off
listening to Billy have sex.
412
00:17:58,064 --> 00:18:00,732
[Stacey moaning]
413
00:18:00,767 --> 00:18:03,434
I was jerking off
listening to Billy have sex.
414
00:18:03,469 --> 00:18:05,770
- Great job in there, bro!
- [Billy] Thanks, dude.
415
00:18:05,805 --> 00:18:08,484
- Jesus christ. -I wasn't jerking
it to the Billy parts though.
416
00:18:08,508 --> 00:18:10,742
Yeah, look,
just finish up, man, and...
417
00:18:10,777 --> 00:18:12,777
And meet me
in the fucking living room.
418
00:18:14,814 --> 00:18:16,481
[Moaning]
419
00:18:19,786 --> 00:18:21,130
- Just pull it off, man.
- Hold on.
420
00:18:21,154 --> 00:18:22,831
- Hold on... [spits]
- Oh, my god.
421
00:18:22,855 --> 00:18:24,466
You just spit
on your fucking hand.
422
00:18:24,490 --> 00:18:26,090
- Ugh!
- Ooh, shit.
423
00:18:26,125 --> 00:18:28,493
[Shudders] God, man.
424
00:18:28,528 --> 00:18:30,027
Don't fucking smell it.
425
00:18:30,062 --> 00:18:32,074
All right, so what's
on your mind, dickhead?
426
00:18:32,098 --> 00:18:34,732
[Laughs] This.
427
00:18:34,767 --> 00:18:37,635
- Oh, sheesh.
- Dude, what the fuck?
428
00:18:37,670 --> 00:18:39,915
- That was ikea. -I'm... i'm
really... i'm so sorry.
429
00:18:39,939 --> 00:18:41,539
Look, guys.
430
00:18:43,009 --> 00:18:44,153
I found a way for the fraternity
431
00:18:44,177 --> 00:18:45,710
to get reinstated.
432
00:18:45,745 --> 00:18:47,556
Dude, you know the only way
we can do that
433
00:18:47,580 --> 00:18:49,981
is if the interfraternity
council president approves us.
434
00:18:50,016 --> 00:18:51,727
Yeah, and seeing
as how that's AJ,
435
00:18:51,751 --> 00:18:53,918
I highly doubt
that's gonna happen.
436
00:18:53,953 --> 00:18:56,521
Yeah, it can
if we challenge him to a duel.
437
00:18:56,556 --> 00:18:58,767
A duel? What the fuck
are you talking about?
438
00:18:58,791 --> 00:19:01,959
I found a claus from 1876
that states,
439
00:19:01,994 --> 00:19:03,839
"any exiled fraternity
can challenge
440
00:19:03,863 --> 00:19:06,431
the interfraternity president
to a duel for reinstatement."
441
00:19:06,466 --> 00:19:09,033
Boys, that's our ticket back in.
442
00:19:09,068 --> 00:19:10,946
Are you fucking retarded
or something?
443
00:19:10,970 --> 00:19:13,070
I mean, as much as
I'd like to shoot AJ,
444
00:19:13,105 --> 00:19:15,684
- I'm not going to. -It doesn't
have to be a gunfight, Billy.
445
00:19:15,708 --> 00:19:17,186
It can be anything we want.
446
00:19:17,210 --> 00:19:20,077
Jousting, bolos...
447
00:19:20,112 --> 00:19:23,147
- Fencing.
- [Gasps]
448
00:19:23,182 --> 00:19:25,183
- Uh-uh. No fucking way.
- Oh, come on.
449
00:19:25,218 --> 00:19:27,129
You were three year
junior champion
450
00:19:27,153 --> 00:19:28,553
almost in a row.
451
00:19:28,588 --> 00:19:29,932
- Way to go, Charlie.
- Look, Billy.
452
00:19:29,956 --> 00:19:31,956
I know you're scared.
453
00:19:42,702 --> 00:19:46,504
I know it was nasty,
but you got through it.
454
00:19:46,539 --> 00:19:48,617
Okay? And Billy, I promise you,
455
00:19:48,641 --> 00:19:50,118
you will not get stabbed
in the sack again.
456
00:19:50,142 --> 00:19:52,510
It was my fucking sack, Charlie!
457
00:19:52,545 --> 00:19:54,679
And my fucking ball, man!
458
00:19:54,714 --> 00:19:56,492
And there's nothing
that you can fucking say
459
00:19:56,516 --> 00:19:58,216
to make me change my mind.
460
00:19:58,251 --> 00:19:59,695
Is this really how you envision
461
00:19:59,719 --> 00:20:01,686
your college years? Huh?
462
00:20:01,721 --> 00:20:04,155
Looking like some common
gdi pieces of shit?
463
00:20:05,825 --> 00:20:07,135
You should be
fucking ten's, Billy,
464
00:20:07,159 --> 00:20:08,793
not six's!
465
00:20:08,828 --> 00:20:10,906
Do you have any idea
how much it breaks my heart
466
00:20:10,930 --> 00:20:12,663
to see you fuck a six?
467
00:20:12,698 --> 00:20:14,232
[Sighs]
468
00:20:14,267 --> 00:20:16,468
Hey, I'm right here.
469
00:20:19,238 --> 00:20:22,573
Guys, we are the last
remaining alphas.
470
00:20:22,608 --> 00:20:24,909
If we don't make this right,
we're disappearing.
471
00:20:26,579 --> 00:20:29,046
I can't let that happen, Billy.
472
00:20:29,081 --> 00:20:31,015
What do you say?
473
00:20:31,050 --> 00:20:33,684
I'm with you, Charlie.
474
00:20:33,719 --> 00:20:35,239
- Billy?
- Fuck.
475
00:20:37,924 --> 00:20:39,201
[Groans] All right, fine.
476
00:20:39,225 --> 00:20:41,069
But if anything happens
to my ballsack,
477
00:20:41,093 --> 00:20:42,804
fucking paper cut,
I'mma murder you.
478
00:20:42,828 --> 00:20:44,161
Deal.
479
00:20:44,196 --> 00:20:46,698
I'd love to fuck a six.
480
00:20:48,100 --> 00:20:50,535
A duel?
481
00:20:50,570 --> 00:20:52,047
I'm not falling
for that bullshit.
482
00:20:52,071 --> 00:20:54,672
- Nice try.
- It's not bullshit, AJ.
483
00:20:54,707 --> 00:20:56,741
It's fancy,
leather-bound, and legit.
484
00:20:56,776 --> 00:21:00,811
[Clears throat] "Should
he, the shit-sandwich,"
485
00:21:00,846 --> 00:21:03,180
that's you, AJ, "refuse to duel"
486
00:21:03,215 --> 00:21:04,860
and the challenging fraternity,"
487
00:21:04,884 --> 00:21:09,587
that's us, "will
automatically be reinstated."
488
00:21:09,622 --> 00:21:11,289
So...
489
00:21:11,324 --> 00:21:12,757
What's it gonna be?
490
00:21:20,299 --> 00:21:22,277
This is fucked, dude.
I look like a fucking asshole.
491
00:21:22,301 --> 00:21:24,302
You don't look like
a fucking asshole.
492
00:21:24,337 --> 00:21:26,582
- Yes, I look like a fucking asshole!
- I'm sorry, okay?
493
00:21:26,606 --> 00:21:28,350
Your old uniform is all
I could find on short notice.
494
00:21:28,374 --> 00:21:29,674
You look great.
495
00:21:31,143 --> 00:21:32,621
- [Uniform tearing]
- Ugh!
496
00:21:32,645 --> 00:21:34,056
Fuck, Charlie,
I can't fucking do this.
497
00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:35,346
You can and you will.
498
00:21:35,381 --> 00:21:36,747
[Sword swooshing]
499
00:21:36,782 --> 00:21:38,627
Shoulda done
your homework, Charlie.
500
00:21:38,651 --> 00:21:41,752
I'm a four-time national
fencing world champion.
501
00:21:41,787 --> 00:21:43,599
- Okay, you got your cup on, right?
- Yes, yes.
502
00:21:43,623 --> 00:21:45,601
I have my fucking cup
and I lost a testicle fencing.
503
00:21:45,625 --> 00:21:46,969
How am I gonna forget
my fucking cup
504
00:21:46,993 --> 00:21:48,604
on the fucking fencing field,
god damn it?
505
00:21:48,628 --> 00:21:49,972
Okay, I'm sorry. Good. Listen.
506
00:21:49,996 --> 00:21:51,607
You need two points
and we got this thing
507
00:21:51,631 --> 00:21:52,597
home free, all right?
508
00:21:52,632 --> 00:21:53,864
Give 'em hell out there.
509
00:21:53,899 --> 00:21:55,277
Here you go. Ready?
510
00:21:55,301 --> 00:21:57,835
Get your face in there.
511
00:21:57,870 --> 00:21:59,136
Ready pretty boy?
512
00:21:59,171 --> 00:22:01,706
Whoever gets two
out of three points wins.
513
00:22:01,741 --> 00:22:03,218
Only hits in the chest
and face count.
514
00:22:03,242 --> 00:22:04,987
- No cheap shots.
- Hey, that's the same thing
515
00:22:05,011 --> 00:22:06,321
your mom tells me after I finish
516
00:22:06,345 --> 00:22:08,223
- busting all over her.
- Exact same rules.
517
00:22:08,247 --> 00:22:09,681
On the count of three.
518
00:22:11,117 --> 00:22:13,250
- One, two...
- Stop!
519
00:22:13,285 --> 00:22:14,785
[Crowd groans]
520
00:22:14,820 --> 00:22:16,398
I demand to know
what is going on here!
521
00:22:16,422 --> 00:22:18,266
Dean Kravitz,
I can explain everything.
522
00:22:18,290 --> 00:22:20,157
- Okay?
- [Clears throat]
523
00:22:20,192 --> 00:22:22,304
"Any disbarred fraternity
can officially challenge"...
524
00:22:22,328 --> 00:22:24,695
"Challenge
the fraternity president
525
00:22:24,730 --> 00:22:26,208
to a duel of their choice."
526
00:22:26,232 --> 00:22:27,398
Yes, of course.
527
00:22:27,433 --> 00:22:30,001
The 1876 Mason-Dixon
duel clause.
528
00:22:30,036 --> 00:22:32,370
You know about this?
529
00:22:32,405 --> 00:22:34,705
Dean Kravitz, sir,
Alpha Chi Gamma
530
00:22:34,740 --> 00:22:36,318
is an institution
at this school,
531
00:22:36,342 --> 00:22:37,742
and if we disappear,
532
00:22:37,777 --> 00:22:39,744
that legacy disappears with it.
533
00:22:39,779 --> 00:22:42,380
I owe it to my brothers,
past, present, and future,
534
00:22:42,415 --> 00:22:44,255
to put Billy here in harms way
535
00:22:44,283 --> 00:22:45,717
so that doesn't happen.
536
00:22:47,386 --> 00:22:49,687
- The clause stands!
- Yes!
537
00:22:49,722 --> 00:22:51,990
But under one condition,
Charlie.
538
00:22:56,896 --> 00:22:58,362
Oh, good.
539
00:22:58,397 --> 00:23:01,265
I finally get to fire
this thing.
540
00:23:01,300 --> 00:23:04,268
One, two...
541
00:23:04,303 --> 00:23:05,847
- Three!
- [Loud bang]
542
00:23:05,871 --> 00:23:07,315
- [Crowd gasps]
- Jesus!
543
00:23:07,339 --> 00:23:09,373
- Amazing.
- Come on, Billy.
544
00:23:09,408 --> 00:23:10,941
Come on, AJ!
545
00:23:10,976 --> 00:23:12,721
All right, you little bitch,
here we go.
546
00:23:12,745 --> 00:23:14,745
- [Swords clinking]
- [Grunting]
547
00:23:14,780 --> 00:23:16,247
Hey, let's go, baby!
548
00:23:16,282 --> 00:23:19,283
[Woman] I love your sword, baby.
549
00:23:19,318 --> 00:23:21,919
- Come on, Billy.
- [Laughs]
550
00:23:21,954 --> 00:23:24,433
Rook, you look like a used tampon.
[Laughs]
551
00:23:24,457 --> 00:23:26,134
Well, AJ, as it turns out,
552
00:23:26,158 --> 00:23:28,392
your mom has not hit menopause.
553
00:23:28,427 --> 00:23:30,038
[Charlie] Come on,
now, here we go.
554
00:23:30,062 --> 00:23:31,896
- Huh!
- Ow!
555
00:23:31,931 --> 00:23:35,099
- God damn, you son of a bitch!
- Point Kappa Nu!
556
00:23:35,134 --> 00:23:37,902
- [Crowd gasps]
- Fucking love that.
557
00:23:37,937 --> 00:23:39,815
- All right, let's go.
- Come on, Billy.
558
00:23:39,839 --> 00:23:42,873
- You got this.
- Okay, come on, now, Billy.
559
00:23:42,908 --> 00:23:45,309
En garde, motherfucker! Woo!
560
00:23:45,344 --> 00:23:47,089
- I'm Zorro.
- Come on, Billy!
561
00:23:47,113 --> 00:23:48,724
- Come on, AJ!
- Bring it, motherfucker.
562
00:23:48,748 --> 00:23:50,982
- Bring it.
- Come on, Billy.
563
00:23:59,158 --> 00:24:00,991
Ugh! Fuck!
564
00:24:01,026 --> 00:24:02,860
- Point Alpha!
- Fuck it.
565
00:24:02,895 --> 00:24:05,096
- [Crowd gasps]
- Shit! That's cool!
566
00:24:05,131 --> 00:24:07,042
- Final round, gentlemen!
- All right, let's go.
567
00:24:07,066 --> 00:24:09,934
- It's fucking on, motherfucker.
- Let's do this.
568
00:24:09,969 --> 00:24:14,338
You got this, AJ. Come on, baby.
569
00:24:14,373 --> 00:24:16,274
Just get 'em, baby.
That's right.
570
00:24:18,844 --> 00:24:21,312
- Oh, bitch, what. Ugh!
- [Pants tearing]
571
00:24:21,347 --> 00:24:23,781
- [Crowd groans]
- Oh, my nut!
572
00:24:23,816 --> 00:24:25,750
That's it! You've got him now!
573
00:24:25,785 --> 00:24:27,262
Oh, shit! My ball!
574
00:24:27,286 --> 00:24:29,064
That's mine, bitch.
Your nut is fucking mine.
575
00:24:29,088 --> 00:24:30,855
Not my ball.
576
00:24:30,890 --> 00:24:32,757
[Both grunting]
577
00:24:32,792 --> 00:24:36,127
Protect yourself, now.
Protect yourself.
578
00:24:36,162 --> 00:24:38,095
Cover for it.
579
00:24:38,130 --> 00:24:39,797
- No!
- Yes!
580
00:24:39,832 --> 00:24:41,510
Eat my tip, trust fund baby.
581
00:24:41,534 --> 00:24:44,068
- [Crowd groans]
- Shit!
582
00:24:44,103 --> 00:24:46,782
[Aj] It's fucking bullshit.
God damn it!
583
00:24:46,806 --> 00:24:49,073
Alpha is victorious!
584
00:24:49,108 --> 00:24:51,475
[Crowd gasps]
585
00:24:51,510 --> 00:24:53,355
- Fuck, yeah!
- I told you you could do it.
586
00:24:53,379 --> 00:24:55,390
- I told you. -Yeah, I still
fucking hate you, though.
587
00:24:55,414 --> 00:24:56,947
This is bullshit!
588
00:24:56,982 --> 00:24:58,260
- I can't lose!
- It's okay, baby.
589
00:24:58,284 --> 00:25:00,061
The library
has my fucking name on it.
590
00:25:00,085 --> 00:25:01,786
- Oh, my god.
- Fuck!
591
00:25:01,821 --> 00:25:04,488
Billy, you're quite
the master swordsman.
592
00:25:04,523 --> 00:25:06,034
Charlie, gather up your brothers
593
00:25:06,058 --> 00:25:08,192
onto this glorious field
of battle
594
00:25:08,227 --> 00:25:12,096
and prepare to be
officially reinstated.
595
00:25:12,131 --> 00:25:14,176
All my brothers are present
and accounted for, sir.
596
00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:16,300
Let the reinstating commence.
597
00:25:16,335 --> 00:25:19,347
Charlie, you can't have a fraternity
with only three active members.
598
00:25:19,371 --> 00:25:20,871
Fucking idiot.
599
00:25:20,906 --> 00:25:22,807
Then we'll get more.
600
00:25:22,842 --> 00:25:24,452
Rush doesn't end
for another five days, right?
601
00:25:24,476 --> 00:25:26,188
Just give us till
the end of the week,
602
00:25:26,212 --> 00:25:28,490
and we will get however many
bid cards you require.
603
00:25:28,514 --> 00:25:30,181
Okay, Charlie.
604
00:25:30,216 --> 00:25:33,050
If you can muster up
15 active members
605
00:25:33,085 --> 00:25:34,485
before the end of rush,
606
00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:37,221
then I'll officially
reinstate axg.
607
00:25:37,256 --> 00:25:39,456
Twelve fucking pledges?
That's impossible.
608
00:25:39,491 --> 00:25:41,559
- Do I hear 16?
- Fifteen it is, sir.
609
00:25:41,594 --> 00:25:43,427
Fifteen it is.
610
00:25:43,462 --> 00:25:46,363
Dean Kravitz, we're gonna need
611
00:25:46,398 --> 00:25:48,543
kind of a central headquarters
to rally the troops.
612
00:25:48,567 --> 00:25:50,612
Can we have the Alpha house
for rush purposes?
613
00:25:50,636 --> 00:25:52,469
Like custer at the alamo.
614
00:25:52,504 --> 00:25:55,105
Okay, Charlie, fine.
615
00:25:55,140 --> 00:25:56,885
But given Alpha house's
track record,
616
00:25:56,909 --> 00:25:58,286
you have to promise to maintain
617
00:25:58,310 --> 00:26:00,511
a level of decency
that will always reflect
618
00:26:00,546 --> 00:26:03,581
on this school
in a positive light.
619
00:26:03,616 --> 00:26:05,583
- Gotcha.
- One screw up, you're done.
620
00:26:05,618 --> 00:26:07,262
- Loud and clear.
- You understand?
621
00:26:07,286 --> 00:26:09,166
- Yes sir, loud and clear.
- Good.
622
00:26:13,592 --> 00:26:16,193
- Take your sword.
- Thank you.
623
00:26:16,228 --> 00:26:19,496
Boys, we got the house back.
624
00:26:19,531 --> 00:26:20,998
Hell yeah!
625
00:26:21,033 --> 00:26:22,300
[Music playing]
626
00:26:27,139 --> 00:26:28,550
I mean, I did. I kicked his ass.
627
00:26:28,574 --> 00:26:30,452
- I just don't get tired.
- Boys.
628
00:26:30,476 --> 00:26:33,577
I hold in my hand
the key to Greek life.
629
00:26:33,612 --> 00:26:36,113
- And we owe it all to Billy.
- Yes, we do.
630
00:26:36,148 --> 00:26:38,193
Yeah, you know I couldn't
have done it without you guys.
631
00:26:38,217 --> 00:26:39,984
Oh, wait, no.
632
00:26:40,019 --> 00:26:42,219
I did it completely
without you guys.
633
00:26:42,254 --> 00:26:43,565
Did you see the look
on AJ's face?
634
00:26:43,589 --> 00:26:45,433
I thought he was gonna shit
his pants.
635
00:26:45,457 --> 00:26:47,369
- I made it my lock screen.
- [All laughing]
636
00:26:47,393 --> 00:26:50,027
Hey, to Billy, huh?
637
00:26:50,062 --> 00:26:52,229
For risking his last testicle.
638
00:26:52,264 --> 00:26:54,331
Boys, get ready to be ball deep
639
00:26:54,366 --> 00:26:55,566
in some sorority hooha.
640
00:26:55,601 --> 00:26:57,321
- Oh...
- [Music playing]
641
00:27:05,678 --> 00:27:07,945
Oh, my god.
642
00:27:07,980 --> 00:27:09,291
Katie littleton
just smiled at me.
643
00:27:09,315 --> 00:27:10,959
No, that was definitely
a facial tick.
644
00:27:10,983 --> 00:27:12,983
Billy, come on,
645
00:27:13,018 --> 00:27:15,630
I know the difference between a
facial tick and a smile, I do.
646
00:27:15,654 --> 00:27:18,289
- What're you smiling at?
- That was a facial tick.
647
00:27:18,324 --> 00:27:21,125
Whatever. Fuck you guys.
648
00:27:23,662 --> 00:27:25,307
[Sighs] Home, sweet, home.
649
00:27:25,331 --> 00:27:27,932
Maybe the inside's not so bad.
650
00:27:33,172 --> 00:27:34,382
Oh. [Coughs]
651
00:27:34,406 --> 00:27:37,408
[Gasps] Wheel of fellatio!
652
00:27:37,443 --> 00:27:40,577
- She survived.
- Welcome home, boys.
653
00:27:40,612 --> 00:27:43,580
Jesus, it's dustier than
douchenozzle's cock in here.
654
00:27:43,615 --> 00:27:46,294
[Sighs] Nothing 12 new
pledges can't clean up.
655
00:27:46,318 --> 00:27:48,452
And how we gonna get
them pledges, chuckles?
656
00:27:48,487 --> 00:27:50,999
Rush has already started and
nobody even knows we're back yet.
657
00:27:51,023 --> 00:27:53,157
Yeah, that's true.
658
00:27:53,192 --> 00:27:55,059
That's true, Billy, but, uh,
659
00:27:55,094 --> 00:27:56,593
we're gonna have a party.
660
00:27:56,628 --> 00:27:59,563
Hell, I think it's time
we tell 'em we're back.
661
00:27:59,598 --> 00:28:01,732
Oh, fuck.
662
00:28:01,767 --> 00:28:03,712
Yeah, I'm fixin'
to get wilder than a buck.
663
00:28:03,736 --> 00:28:05,402
I'mma fuck you up, liver.
664
00:28:05,437 --> 00:28:07,282
You hear me talkin' to you,
you little bitch?
665
00:28:07,306 --> 00:28:09,517
- I just hope I get laid. -That
you will, douche. We all will.
666
00:28:09,541 --> 00:28:11,486
Everybody remembers
how awesome our parties were.
667
00:28:11,510 --> 00:28:12,721
- We're legends.
- Boom.
668
00:28:12,745 --> 00:28:14,946
- [Screams]
- [Music playing]
669
00:28:19,385 --> 00:28:21,953
I honestly thought
somebody would've remembered.
670
00:28:23,055 --> 00:28:24,455
This sucks ass.
671
00:28:26,225 --> 00:28:28,392
Hey, you know what?
Let's just be patient.
672
00:28:28,427 --> 00:28:30,427
Only losers arrive early, right?
673
00:28:30,462 --> 00:28:32,096
So, we're good.
674
00:28:32,131 --> 00:28:34,064
- We're good.
- Hey!
675
00:28:34,099 --> 00:28:37,234
Ease up on the fucking dip
there, champ.
676
00:28:37,269 --> 00:28:39,370
[Doorbell rings, doorknob turns]
677
00:28:39,405 --> 00:28:41,672
[Door closes]
678
00:28:41,707 --> 00:28:43,374
- Hey.
- Hey, y'all.
679
00:28:43,409 --> 00:28:44,652
- Hi.
- Oh, Becca.
680
00:28:44,676 --> 00:28:46,343
It's so good to see you.
681
00:28:46,378 --> 00:28:48,356
I surprised the coven
let you out for the night.
682
00:28:48,380 --> 00:28:52,616
I heard you guys were throwing
one of your legendary parties.
683
00:28:52,651 --> 00:28:55,519
So, I thought I'd come by
and see for myself.
684
00:28:56,655 --> 00:28:59,590
You looking at something?
685
00:28:59,625 --> 00:29:01,025
May I please take you
686
00:29:01,060 --> 00:29:02,537
and your two delicious friends
here
687
00:29:02,561 --> 00:29:05,029
- for a tour of the house?
- Absolutely.
688
00:29:05,064 --> 00:29:06,775
- Right this way, my lady.
- No, not so touchy.
689
00:29:06,799 --> 00:29:09,377
- Okay, okay.
- He's a real charmer, isn't he?
690
00:29:09,401 --> 00:29:10,501
Yeah, he is, really.
691
00:29:10,536 --> 00:29:11,746
They're perfect for each other.
692
00:29:11,770 --> 00:29:14,071
Yes, she's something.
693
00:29:14,106 --> 00:29:15,550
I dreamed
that my days as a sigma
694
00:29:15,574 --> 00:29:17,085
would be
a little bit more redeeming,
695
00:29:17,109 --> 00:29:18,319
but Becca's idea of philanthropy
696
00:29:18,343 --> 00:29:20,055
is giving the school stds.
697
00:29:20,079 --> 00:29:22,413
I would tell Billy that,
but he wouldn't give a shit.
698
00:29:22,448 --> 00:29:24,314
- So...
- Oh, no.
699
00:29:24,349 --> 00:29:25,527
Well, I do have to say, Charlie,
700
00:29:25,551 --> 00:29:27,684
this is quite the terrible party
701
00:29:27,719 --> 00:29:30,432
- You've thrown here.
- No, I honestly thought more people
would come.
702
00:29:30,456 --> 00:29:33,323
Two losers and ranch dip
ain't gonna cut it.
703
00:29:33,358 --> 00:29:34,758
Oh, don't sweat it.
704
00:29:34,793 --> 00:29:36,571
You're just getting
your Greek legs back.
705
00:29:36,595 --> 00:29:38,373
I'm sure you'll turn
things around in no time.
706
00:29:38,397 --> 00:29:40,141
Yeah, I hope so, I mean,
to tell you the truth,
707
00:29:40,165 --> 00:29:41,443
after the whole
fireworks fiasco,
708
00:29:41,467 --> 00:29:42,844
I never thought I'd set foot
709
00:29:42,868 --> 00:29:45,402
- in this house again.
- Yeah, Charlie,
710
00:29:45,437 --> 00:29:47,348
- I kinda wanted...
- Listen, sweetheart,
711
00:29:47,372 --> 00:29:50,274
I... i swear, I just want you
and the doll to get it on.
712
00:29:50,309 --> 00:29:52,810
- I'm not gonna do nothin'.
- Wow.
713
00:29:52,845 --> 00:29:55,446
Great party, Charlie.
I checked the whole house.
714
00:29:55,481 --> 00:29:57,181
It sucks everywhere.
715
00:29:57,216 --> 00:29:59,150
- Hey, look, wait, wait, wait.
- No.
716
00:30:00,619 --> 00:30:02,130
I... i don't know
what's wrong with me.
717
00:30:02,154 --> 00:30:05,222
- I...
- [Gasps]
718
00:30:05,257 --> 00:30:08,092
- Yep.
- Stupid asshole!
719
00:30:09,628 --> 00:30:11,628
- Bye, Becca.
- I better go, too.
720
00:30:11,663 --> 00:30:13,108
I have class early
in the morning.
721
00:30:13,132 --> 00:30:14,275
- I'll see you later.
- See you.
722
00:30:14,299 --> 00:30:15,332
Bye, Billy.
723
00:30:15,367 --> 00:30:17,134
- Oh, chuckles.
- Yes, sir.
724
00:30:17,169 --> 00:30:18,368
I think I'm in love.
725
00:30:18,403 --> 00:30:20,170
Oh, me, too.
726
00:30:20,205 --> 00:30:23,607
You guys want some dip?
727
00:30:23,642 --> 00:30:24,819
[Aj] Jesus christ.
728
00:30:24,843 --> 00:30:26,521
What the fuck took you so long?
729
00:30:26,545 --> 00:30:29,213
The fucking Alpha Party
was a total bust.
730
00:30:29,248 --> 00:30:32,382
There were zero rushies,
no girls.
731
00:30:32,417 --> 00:30:33,717
They're fucking assholes.
732
00:30:33,752 --> 00:30:35,719
No girls?
733
00:30:35,754 --> 00:30:37,521
Oh, well,
734
00:30:37,556 --> 00:30:38,700
I think I have some sweethearts
735
00:30:38,724 --> 00:30:40,424
I can send them.
736
00:30:40,459 --> 00:30:41,759
Yeah.
737
00:30:43,695 --> 00:30:45,540
[Billy] Ugh, this party
officially sucks ass.
738
00:30:45,564 --> 00:30:47,175
Dude, don't worry.
There's still time.
739
00:30:47,199 --> 00:30:49,366
- [Doorbell rings]
- Mm. Boom!
740
00:30:49,401 --> 00:30:51,235
- See, fellas?
- [Door opens]
741
00:30:51,270 --> 00:30:54,238
Sometimes all you gotta have
is just a little bit of...
742
00:30:54,273 --> 00:30:57,174
- Faith.
- Hi, sugar.
743
00:30:57,209 --> 00:30:59,254
- Lookin' for Charlie Martin.
- I'm Charlie Martin.
744
00:30:59,278 --> 00:31:00,577
Oh, well, then,
745
00:31:00,612 --> 00:31:02,390
tonight's your lucky night, son.
746
00:31:02,414 --> 00:31:04,848
I'm Pearl, as in...
747
00:31:04,883 --> 00:31:06,383
The necklace.
748
00:31:06,418 --> 00:31:09,253
We've been gifted to you
749
00:31:09,288 --> 00:31:11,166
for the evening
by an anonymous donor.
750
00:31:11,190 --> 00:31:12,523
[Coughs]
751
00:31:12,558 --> 00:31:13,891
Wha... gifted?
752
00:31:15,394 --> 00:31:16,704
He's not too bright, is he?
753
00:31:16,728 --> 00:31:18,428
No.
754
00:31:18,463 --> 00:31:19,763
Listen to me.
755
00:31:19,798 --> 00:31:21,543
I don't care how drunk
I get tonight,
756
00:31:21,567 --> 00:31:24,835
do not let me fuck
one of the golden girls.
757
00:31:24,870 --> 00:31:26,737
- I'm serious.
- Uh-huh.
758
00:31:26,772 --> 00:31:28,283
- [Microphone feedback]
- Hello.
759
00:31:28,307 --> 00:31:29,617
[Aj] Hey, Alpha fucks.
760
00:31:29,641 --> 00:31:33,810
Ladies, if you'll just
excuse me.
761
00:31:33,845 --> 00:31:36,580
That's a compliment.
762
00:31:36,615 --> 00:31:37,759
[Becca] Hey, assholes!
763
00:31:37,783 --> 00:31:39,294
What, you're not gonna thank me
764
00:31:39,318 --> 00:31:40,595
for the sweethearts, Charlie?
765
00:31:40,619 --> 00:31:41,919
You know your grandma
766
00:31:41,954 --> 00:31:44,721
gives a surprisingly mean
blowjob.
767
00:31:44,756 --> 00:31:46,267
I guess you learned
from the best.
768
00:31:46,291 --> 00:31:47,802
Enjoy your fucking
bingo night, dickhead.
769
00:31:47,826 --> 00:31:50,561
[All laugh]
770
00:31:50,596 --> 00:31:52,362
This fucking sucks dick.
771
00:31:52,397 --> 00:31:54,865
This is like douchenozzle
at a fucking bachelor auction.
772
00:31:54,900 --> 00:31:56,733
- Zero bids.
- Hey, man,
773
00:31:56,768 --> 00:31:58,735
- it can get better.
- [Sighs]
774
00:31:58,770 --> 00:32:01,538
- It'll get better.
- That's good.
775
00:32:01,573 --> 00:32:04,675
- It's good now.
- Mm-hmm.
776
00:32:04,710 --> 00:32:06,577
[Doorbell rings]
777
00:32:06,612 --> 00:32:09,846
I'mma fucking kill
whoever that is.
778
00:32:09,881 --> 00:32:12,716
[Gasps] Oh, shit.
779
00:32:12,751 --> 00:32:14,918
Hi. Can I fucking
help you, nerd?
780
00:32:14,953 --> 00:32:16,253
That's okay, Billy.
781
00:32:16,288 --> 00:32:17,699
Jonesy, what're you doing here?
782
00:32:17,723 --> 00:32:20,457
Hi Charlie,
heard about your party
783
00:32:20,492 --> 00:32:22,626
and I thought I'd come by
and check it out.
784
00:32:22,661 --> 00:32:24,806
- Maybe rush for you guys.
- You're fucking serious?
785
00:32:24,830 --> 00:32:25,974
Are you fucking kidding me?
786
00:32:25,998 --> 00:32:27,342
I know... i know we're desperate
787
00:32:27,366 --> 00:32:28,743
right now, but look at him.
788
00:32:28,767 --> 00:32:30,712
He's a fucking tri-hard
with his fucking bowtie.
789
00:32:30,736 --> 00:32:33,281
- Okay, all right, Billy, take it easy.
- Your glasses, fuck you.
790
00:32:33,305 --> 00:32:35,606
Billy, just take it easy, okay?
791
00:32:35,641 --> 00:32:37,852
You're more than welcome to
hang out here, Jonesy, really.
792
00:32:37,876 --> 00:32:39,276
Thanks, Charlie.
793
00:32:39,311 --> 00:32:40,622
I would've been here earlier,
794
00:32:40,646 --> 00:32:41,923
but my research session
ran long.
795
00:32:41,947 --> 00:32:43,914
- "Ran long."
- That being said,
796
00:32:43,949 --> 00:32:45,960
and I hope you don't mind,
but I brought a few friends.
797
00:32:45,984 --> 00:32:47,562
Oh, you brought us some friends.
798
00:32:47,586 --> 00:32:48,997
That's just...
That's fucking great.
799
00:32:49,021 --> 00:32:50,965
I got "the big bang theory"
eating onion dip.
800
00:32:50,989 --> 00:32:52,789
I got the wrinkle vice twins
801
00:32:52,824 --> 00:32:54,936
sitting around having
hot flashes and now you
802
00:32:54,960 --> 00:32:56,804
brought your fucking
nerd friends.
803
00:32:56,828 --> 00:32:58,762
That's just fucking great,
Jonesy!
804
00:32:58,797 --> 00:33:00,908
- Just chill the fuck out.
- I will not chill the fuck out!
805
00:33:00,932 --> 00:33:03,267
We do not
806
00:33:03,302 --> 00:33:05,969
hang or party
with fucking nerd...
807
00:33:06,004 --> 00:33:10,474
Holy sweet mother of ass.
808
00:33:10,509 --> 00:33:11,953
I think my boner
just got a boner.
809
00:33:11,977 --> 00:33:15,679
Please grab a beer, a chip,
whatever you need.
810
00:33:15,714 --> 00:33:17,014
Uh...
811
00:33:17,049 --> 00:33:18,415
Fucking Jonesy.
812
00:33:18,450 --> 00:33:19,883
[Music blaring]
813
00:33:19,918 --> 00:33:21,763
♪ Shorty talkative
I can't get a word in ♪
814
00:33:21,787 --> 00:33:23,731
♪ I just agreed to whatever
she say ♪
815
00:33:23,755 --> 00:33:25,533
♪ She given it up tonight,
it's okay ♪
816
00:33:25,557 --> 00:33:27,368
♪ I'm a rap star
and that's real shit ♪
817
00:33:27,392 --> 00:33:29,860
♪ So you can miss me
with that bullshit ♪
818
00:33:29,895 --> 00:33:32,062
♪ They say,
turn the music down ♪
819
00:33:32,097 --> 00:33:33,997
♪ Miss me with that bullshit ♪
820
00:33:34,032 --> 00:33:37,434
♪ Miss me, miss-miss-miss
me with that bullshit ♪
821
00:33:37,469 --> 00:33:39,903
♪ They say I need
to settle down ♪
822
00:33:39,938 --> 00:33:41,749
♪ Miss me with that bullshit ♪
823
00:33:41,773 --> 00:33:43,607
♪ Miss me with that ♪
824
00:33:43,642 --> 00:33:44,875
♪ Miss me with that... ♪
825
00:33:44,910 --> 00:33:47,377
Listen, I wanted to say...
826
00:33:47,412 --> 00:33:49,946
That, I mean,
you're pretty fucking cool.
827
00:33:49,981 --> 00:33:51,415
I guess.
828
00:33:51,450 --> 00:33:53,027
I mean, you're still
a fucking nerd,
829
00:33:53,051 --> 00:33:55,719
and you got glasses and shit,
830
00:33:55,754 --> 00:33:58,355
I'm not gonna beat
the shit outta you.
831
00:33:58,390 --> 00:33:59,856
Thank you.
832
00:33:59,891 --> 00:34:03,026
Yeah. Fuckin' tri-hard.
833
00:34:03,061 --> 00:34:07,531
So, Jonesy, what is it exactly
that you do?
834
00:34:07,566 --> 00:34:10,667
Well, it's complicated.
835
00:34:10,702 --> 00:34:13,370
But trust me when I say,
836
00:34:13,405 --> 00:34:16,073
my research is gonna change
the world.
837
00:34:19,111 --> 00:34:20,711
[Charlie] Hey, AJ!
838
00:34:20,746 --> 00:34:22,857
We just wanted to express
our gratitude to you
839
00:34:22,881 --> 00:34:24,781
for sending us your sweethearts.
840
00:34:24,816 --> 00:34:26,950
Ladies...
841
00:34:26,985 --> 00:34:29,053
Three, two, one...
842
00:34:30,989 --> 00:34:32,423
[All groaning]
843
00:34:35,093 --> 00:34:36,927
Yeah, baby.
844
00:34:36,962 --> 00:34:40,130
- Mom?
- It better not be your fucking mom.
845
00:34:40,165 --> 00:34:42,933
- Get in the house, man.
- Oh, my god.
846
00:34:42,968 --> 00:34:45,936
- Still got it.
- Fuck, yeah.
847
00:34:45,971 --> 00:34:47,137
Ow!
848
00:34:47,172 --> 00:34:48,772
Yeah!
849
00:34:53,678 --> 00:34:55,690
[Billy] Look, man, I hate
to say I told you so,
850
00:34:55,714 --> 00:34:58,782
but, I mean, every decent guy
on campus is accounted for.
851
00:34:58,817 --> 00:35:01,885
- The well is dry.
- [Sighs]
852
00:35:01,920 --> 00:35:05,021
Man, Jonesy's girls
were fucking hot, though.
853
00:35:05,056 --> 00:35:07,724
How in the fuck
does a nerd like that
854
00:35:07,759 --> 00:35:09,737
get to hang out
with such dirty birds?
855
00:35:09,761 --> 00:35:11,995
It's just don't make no sense.
856
00:35:14,833 --> 00:35:16,800
Holy shit, Billy, that's it.
857
00:35:16,835 --> 00:35:21,838
That's it, man.
You're a fucking genius.
858
00:35:21,873 --> 00:35:23,184
Okay, we're almost there.
859
00:35:23,208 --> 00:35:24,585
- Okay.
- One, two, three.
860
00:35:24,609 --> 00:35:26,043
One, two, three.
861
00:35:28,814 --> 00:35:30,447
Thank you.
862
00:35:32,484 --> 00:35:34,444
- Thanks, Pearl.
- It was my pleasure.
863
00:35:34,920 --> 00:35:36,854
[Both moaning]
864
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:50,768
Hello, boys. [Chuckles]
865
00:35:58,510 --> 00:35:59,910
[Exhales]
866
00:36:07,519 --> 00:36:08,729
Dude, are you fucking kidding me
867
00:36:08,753 --> 00:36:09,820
right now?
868
00:36:09,855 --> 00:36:12,155
- What?
- [Laughs]
869
00:36:12,190 --> 00:36:13,768
Well, she was paid for,
wasn't she?
870
00:36:13,792 --> 00:36:15,058
And...
871
00:36:15,093 --> 00:36:16,871
Hey, I'm trying
to break a dry spell.
872
00:36:16,895 --> 00:36:19,207
What? Why the fuck do you guys
hate bargains so much?
873
00:36:19,231 --> 00:36:20,908
- "Break a dry spell."
- Yeah.
874
00:36:20,932 --> 00:36:22,777
You wanna break a dry spell
by having sex
875
00:36:22,801 --> 00:36:24,579
with the driest vagina
of all time?
876
00:36:24,603 --> 00:36:26,503
No. She was surprisingly moist.
877
00:36:26,538 --> 00:36:28,004
Oh, my god.
878
00:36:28,039 --> 00:36:29,951
[Charlie] I think Jonesy
proved last night
879
00:36:29,975 --> 00:36:31,541
that he's one of us.
880
00:36:31,576 --> 00:36:33,043
Which leads me to this.
881
00:36:33,078 --> 00:36:35,056
Maybe we've been looking
in all the wrong places.
882
00:36:35,080 --> 00:36:36,958
We need to approach
this situation
883
00:36:36,982 --> 00:36:38,248
all out money ball.
884
00:36:38,283 --> 00:36:40,094
Brad pitt was awesome
in "fight club."
885
00:36:40,118 --> 00:36:41,963
- Could we talk about that?
- So fucking awesome.
886
00:36:41,987 --> 00:36:43,753
No. Listen, guys,
887
00:36:43,788 --> 00:36:46,490
instead of competing
for the same rushies,
888
00:36:46,525 --> 00:36:48,859
we're gonna recruit the guys
nobody knows about.
889
00:36:48,894 --> 00:36:50,527
Starting with...
890
00:36:50,562 --> 00:36:52,762
Sergeant dustin Keaton, usmc,
891
00:36:52,797 --> 00:36:54,798
aka sarge.
892
00:36:54,833 --> 00:36:56,811
Sarge joined the military
right out of high school
893
00:36:56,835 --> 00:36:58,145
and did two tours over in iraq.
894
00:36:58,169 --> 00:37:02,072
It's so good. This is so good.
895
00:37:02,107 --> 00:37:04,785
[Charlie] He's a little
older and a bit twitchy,
896
00:37:04,809 --> 00:37:07,210
but he's out for material,
through and through.
897
00:37:07,245 --> 00:37:09,056
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Oh... oh, sorry.
898
00:37:09,080 --> 00:37:10,591
There's a guy,
he's attacking a girl
899
00:37:10,615 --> 00:37:11,948
in the bathroom.
900
00:37:11,983 --> 00:37:14,251
Yeah, yeah.
And he says he hates freedom.
901
00:37:16,788 --> 00:37:18,599
- [Walkie talkie beeps]
- Target is on the move.
902
00:37:18,623 --> 00:37:19,923
[Beep]
903
00:37:19,958 --> 00:37:21,798
So, this is a "library," huh?
904
00:37:21,826 --> 00:37:23,037
Come on, look in my eyes.
905
00:37:23,061 --> 00:37:24,901
Ride the bull. Ride the bull!
906
00:37:24,930 --> 00:37:26,663
- Whew! Oh, yeah!
- Yah!
907
00:37:26,698 --> 00:37:27,931
[Screams]
908
00:37:27,966 --> 00:37:30,033
- [Grunting]
- Shh! Shh! Shh!
909
00:37:34,172 --> 00:37:35,839
You all right?
910
00:37:35,874 --> 00:37:37,941
I'm fine.
911
00:37:37,976 --> 00:37:40,810
- Thanks to you.
- What the hell is this?
912
00:37:40,845 --> 00:37:42,546
This was a test.
913
00:37:42,581 --> 00:37:45,615
Congrats, you passed.
I'm Charlie Martin.
914
00:37:45,650 --> 00:37:47,250
You laid a trap for me,
915
00:37:47,285 --> 00:37:49,953
and I fell for it.
916
00:37:49,988 --> 00:37:51,232
That's not an easy thing to do.
917
00:37:51,256 --> 00:37:52,556
I'm impressed.
918
00:37:52,591 --> 00:37:54,135
- So am i.
- Shut the fuck up.
919
00:37:54,159 --> 00:37:56,660
Not half as impressed
as we are with you, sarge.
920
00:37:56,695 --> 00:37:57,805
We think you have what it takes
921
00:37:57,829 --> 00:37:59,062
to be a part of axg.
922
00:37:59,097 --> 00:38:00,942
Axg? I thought y'all was exiled?
923
00:38:00,966 --> 00:38:02,610
Your intel's wrong, soldier.
924
00:38:02,634 --> 00:38:04,211
We're having a meet and greet
at 1600 hours.
925
00:38:04,235 --> 00:38:05,746
We would love it if you came by.
926
00:38:05,770 --> 00:38:07,248
- Guys, guys, listen... ugh!
- [Grunting]
927
00:38:07,272 --> 00:38:08,672
Oh...
928
00:38:10,141 --> 00:38:12,108
I'll think about it, Charlie.
929
00:38:12,143 --> 00:38:13,854
Cool, sarge. Have a good day.
930
00:38:13,878 --> 00:38:15,078
[Coughing, groaning]
931
00:38:16,848 --> 00:38:19,015
Frank Van dyke iv.
932
00:38:19,050 --> 00:38:21,284
Mr. Van dyke
is an aspiring film director.
933
00:38:21,319 --> 00:38:23,587
He is the mad genius
behind the wildly popular
934
00:38:23,622 --> 00:38:25,322
rolling blackout videos.
935
00:38:25,357 --> 00:38:27,791
His skill set would be
invaluable to us.
936
00:38:27,826 --> 00:38:30,671
[Billy] You know, we're big
fans of your work V.D.,
937
00:38:30,695 --> 00:38:31,861
which is why we want you
938
00:38:31,896 --> 00:38:33,274
to be our personal videographer.
939
00:38:33,298 --> 00:38:34,831
Oh, thanks.
940
00:38:34,866 --> 00:38:36,844
And why the hell
would I want to do that?
941
00:38:36,868 --> 00:38:38,034
Well, besides being awarded
942
00:38:38,069 --> 00:38:39,936
with a lifetime of brotherhood,
943
00:38:39,971 --> 00:38:41,315
you would have firsthand access
944
00:38:41,339 --> 00:38:43,340
to some of the finest drug users
945
00:38:43,375 --> 00:38:45,709
- and degenerates known to man.
- That's right.
946
00:38:45,744 --> 00:38:47,088
You'd have a first row seat
947
00:38:47,112 --> 00:38:49,212
to the greatest shitshow
on earth, dude.
948
00:38:49,247 --> 00:38:51,092
- Did we mention the perks?
- Mm-hmm.
949
00:38:51,116 --> 00:38:52,983
Here you go, Van dyke.
950
00:38:53,018 --> 00:38:55,819
- [Both] Hi.
- [Giggling]
951
00:38:55,854 --> 00:38:58,188
Ah, you don't need
this piece of shit anymore.
952
00:38:58,223 --> 00:38:59,834
[Both] This is for you.
953
00:38:59,858 --> 00:39:02,058
- [Laughing]
- Oh, shit, are you serious?
954
00:39:02,093 --> 00:39:03,738
As my daddy's triple bypass.
955
00:39:03,762 --> 00:39:07,397
Now, Ashley, Brooke,
this is Van dyke.
956
00:39:07,432 --> 00:39:09,377
Van dyke is that director
I was telling you about.
957
00:39:09,401 --> 00:39:10,911
I was telling 'em about
your various
958
00:39:10,935 --> 00:39:13,236
accomplishments as a director.
959
00:39:13,271 --> 00:39:15,639
And they're actresses
who've been working on a scene
960
00:39:15,674 --> 00:39:17,184
and they were wondering
if you might be able
961
00:39:17,208 --> 00:39:18,742
to help them out.
962
00:39:18,777 --> 00:39:20,855
- Hmm. -We're normally
stage actresses,
963
00:39:20,879 --> 00:39:23,346
but we really, really
wanna get into film.
964
00:39:23,381 --> 00:39:26,716
What's the scene from?
965
00:39:26,751 --> 00:39:28,918
- "Fifty shades of gay."
- I may have, uh...
966
00:39:28,953 --> 00:39:31,221
May have a few pointers
for them.
967
00:39:31,256 --> 00:39:33,256
All right, ladies, just, uh...
968
00:39:33,291 --> 00:39:35,036
Way to go, dude.
It's a closed set.
969
00:39:35,060 --> 00:39:36,737
Open up a little bit to camera.
970
00:39:36,761 --> 00:39:38,139
[Laughs] Yeah.
971
00:39:38,163 --> 00:39:41,364
We wanna see
what's going on there.
972
00:39:41,399 --> 00:39:43,000
Well done.
973
00:39:45,170 --> 00:39:47,081
[Billy] You're not gonna
miss being an R.A.
974
00:39:47,105 --> 00:39:50,025
[Charlie] No, but I will miss
confiscating their weed.
975
00:39:51,409 --> 00:39:54,044
[Woman moaning]
976
00:39:54,079 --> 00:39:56,012
What the fuck
is Dr. frankie snatch
977
00:39:56,047 --> 00:39:58,214
doin' right now?
978
00:39:58,249 --> 00:40:00,684
Come on, let's find out.
979
00:40:00,719 --> 00:40:02,852
Jesus christ!
980
00:40:02,887 --> 00:40:05,188
They're trainin' fishermen
to be gynecologists.
981
00:40:05,223 --> 00:40:06,901
- That's it.
- Oh, my god!
982
00:40:06,925 --> 00:40:09,059
Charlie! Everyone down, now!
983
00:40:09,094 --> 00:40:11,128
[All yelling]
984
00:40:17,836 --> 00:40:20,103
God damn, how much shit
is in there?
985
00:40:20,138 --> 00:40:21,905
Sorry, sorry guys.
986
00:40:21,940 --> 00:40:23,884
Wait. So squirting,
that's your research.
987
00:40:23,908 --> 00:40:26,276
Enhanced female
ejaculatory projection...
988
00:40:26,311 --> 00:40:28,745
Actually. Sorry, Ashley.
989
00:40:28,780 --> 00:40:30,424
- [Laughs]
- It's not funny, man.
990
00:40:30,448 --> 00:40:32,916
I discovered a way to tap
into the female skene's gland,
991
00:40:32,951 --> 00:40:34,295
also known as The G-Spot,
992
00:40:34,319 --> 00:40:35,719
proving once and for all
993
00:40:35,754 --> 00:40:38,088
that women do,
in fact, ejaculate.
994
00:40:38,123 --> 00:40:39,500
But why would any girl
want to squirt?
995
00:40:39,524 --> 00:40:40,890
Because women shouldn't be
996
00:40:40,925 --> 00:40:43,426
the only ones forced to swallow.
997
00:40:43,461 --> 00:40:44,961
Another women's study major.
998
00:40:44,996 --> 00:40:47,964
Be at the Alpha house
this afternoon.
999
00:40:47,999 --> 00:40:50,266
Good job, Jonesy.
1000
00:40:50,301 --> 00:40:51,746
Whoa, I got another one in me.
1001
00:40:51,770 --> 00:40:53,403
Oh, shit!
1002
00:40:53,438 --> 00:40:55,316
[Charlie] We are offering
you bids to the most
1003
00:40:55,340 --> 00:40:58,108
esteemed fraternity
on the MDU campus.
1004
00:40:58,143 --> 00:40:59,976
Hey.
1005
00:41:00,011 --> 00:41:02,378
- Where the hell is sarge?
- I have no idea.
1006
00:41:02,413 --> 00:41:05,115
Yes! This rules!
1007
00:41:05,150 --> 00:41:09,018
- I am so down, bros.
- [Charlie] Easy, Jonesy.
1008
00:41:09,053 --> 00:41:11,988
Look, we see great potential
in you.
1009
00:41:12,023 --> 00:41:14,858
But with great power
comes great responsibility.
1010
00:41:14,893 --> 00:41:18,261
"Comes" like,
"cumming," you know?
1011
00:41:18,296 --> 00:41:20,897
Anything. You name it.
1012
00:41:20,932 --> 00:41:23,166
You drinking a fucking soda?
1013
00:41:23,201 --> 00:41:24,881
- Jesus christ.
- Sorry.
1014
00:41:26,004 --> 00:41:28,304
Jonesy, we think
it would be beneficial
1015
00:41:28,339 --> 00:41:30,507
if you continued
your research with us.
1016
00:41:30,542 --> 00:41:31,908
That way you can share
1017
00:41:31,943 --> 00:41:33,220
all your knowledge and expertise
1018
00:41:33,244 --> 00:41:34,922
with all our new pledges
making us the most
1019
00:41:34,946 --> 00:41:37,514
"vagtastic" master cocksmen
on campus.
1020
00:41:37,549 --> 00:41:39,516
How's that sound?
1021
00:41:39,551 --> 00:41:41,985
It would be an honor.
1022
00:41:42,020 --> 00:41:43,397
You really don't need
these things.
1023
00:41:43,421 --> 00:41:45,989
I do, actually. To see.
1024
00:41:48,359 --> 00:41:49,793
[Sighs]
1025
00:41:53,198 --> 00:41:54,864
[Gasps] Holy shit.
1026
00:41:54,899 --> 00:41:57,100
- How long you been there?
- A long time.
1027
00:41:57,135 --> 00:41:58,312
- Now let me guess.
- [Exhales]
1028
00:41:58,336 --> 00:42:00,281
You want me to join
your fraternity?
1029
00:42:00,305 --> 00:42:02,005
[Laughs] Sarge,
1030
00:42:02,040 --> 00:42:04,307
you're a military man, right?
1031
00:42:04,342 --> 00:42:05,809
A god damn american hero,
1032
00:42:05,844 --> 00:42:06,987
but have you ever thought about
1033
00:42:07,011 --> 00:42:08,178
what's next?
1034
00:42:08,213 --> 00:42:10,246
- I don't know.
- Of course not.
1035
00:42:10,281 --> 00:42:12,949
You've been following orders
your whole life.
1036
00:42:12,984 --> 00:42:15,118
But we can help you
become a leader.
1037
00:42:16,888 --> 00:42:19,389
You ever thought about, um...
1038
00:42:19,424 --> 00:42:21,435
Have you ever thought about
running for public office?
1039
00:42:21,459 --> 00:42:23,459
Well...
1040
00:42:23,494 --> 00:42:26,162
Did you know that 76%
1041
00:42:26,197 --> 00:42:28,097
of all congressmen and senators
1042
00:42:28,132 --> 00:42:29,966
belongs to a fraternity?
1043
00:42:30,001 --> 00:42:31,478
Why would anybody know that?
1044
00:42:31,502 --> 00:42:33,870
That's where a hero like you
belongs, sarge.
1045
00:42:33,905 --> 00:42:35,905
And we can help you get there.
1046
00:42:35,940 --> 00:42:38,408
Okay. What you want in return?
1047
00:42:38,443 --> 00:42:40,944
We want you to be
head of our security.
1048
00:42:40,979 --> 00:42:43,379
We're in a war
of our own with Kappa Nu.
1049
00:42:43,414 --> 00:42:45,348
A Greek jihad, if you will.
1050
00:42:45,383 --> 00:42:48,518
Did you say, "jihad"?
1051
00:42:48,553 --> 00:42:50,064
Yes, soldier, I said that.
1052
00:42:50,088 --> 00:42:52,155
Haul me in.
1053
00:42:52,190 --> 00:42:53,290
Five by five.
1054
00:42:55,960 --> 00:42:59,429
First off, gentlemen,
let me say congratulations.
1055
00:42:59,464 --> 00:43:01,175
You just made the best decision
1056
00:43:01,199 --> 00:43:02,999
- of your young lives.
- Yeah.
1057
00:43:03,034 --> 00:43:05,335
Thirty years from now
when you're a senator,
1058
00:43:05,370 --> 00:43:08,238
or the ceo of a billion dollar
corporation,
1059
00:43:08,273 --> 00:43:09,572
or the god damn president
1060
00:43:09,607 --> 00:43:12,475
of the united states of america,
1061
00:43:12,510 --> 00:43:16,546
your sons will be standing
right where you are today.
1062
00:43:16,581 --> 00:43:20,016
Just as I am standing
where my father once stood,
1063
00:43:20,051 --> 00:43:21,885
I say welcome
1064
00:43:21,920 --> 00:43:24,131
- to the finest...
- [Over loud speaker] Hey, Alpha rushies!
1065
00:43:24,155 --> 00:43:26,367
- Before you make the worst decision...
- Who the fuck is that?
1066
00:43:26,391 --> 00:43:28,235
Why don't you come over here
1067
00:43:28,259 --> 00:43:30,504
- and see what a real fraternity has to offer.
- What the fuck?
1068
00:43:30,528 --> 00:43:32,629
- Am I right?
- Dude.
1069
00:43:32,664 --> 00:43:35,899
Each new kappa pledge
will not only have access
1070
00:43:35,934 --> 00:43:38,134
to a luxury sweet automobile,
1071
00:43:38,169 --> 00:43:40,603
but... ah...
You'll have full access
1072
00:43:40,638 --> 00:43:42,349
to the luxurious sigma girls.
1073
00:43:42,373 --> 00:43:45,075
[Music playing, engine revving]
1074
00:43:49,714 --> 00:43:51,114
♪ Party, bitches ♪
1075
00:43:51,149 --> 00:43:52,660
♪ This is a party, bitches ♪
1076
00:43:52,684 --> 00:43:54,684
♪ This is a party, bitches ♪
1077
00:43:54,719 --> 00:43:57,387
- ♪ This is a party, bitches ♪
- boys, boys, I can't do this.
1078
00:43:57,422 --> 00:43:58,699
♪ I know you like what you see ♪
1079
00:43:58,723 --> 00:44:00,301
♪ I know you like what you see ♪
1080
00:44:00,325 --> 00:44:02,191
♪ Living out your fantasy ♪
1081
00:44:02,226 --> 00:44:04,694
♪ You want it be reality ♪
1082
00:44:04,729 --> 00:44:06,407
Boys, I can't do it.
The tits got me.
1083
00:44:06,431 --> 00:44:08,509
Billy, just look away.
Fight it, fight it!
1084
00:44:08,533 --> 00:44:10,466
But the tits have me hypnotized.
1085
00:44:10,501 --> 00:44:13,280
- Just focus.
- Give me them titties. I wanna get fucked.
1086
00:44:13,304 --> 00:44:15,082
- Billy!
- Give me the titties.
1087
00:44:15,106 --> 00:44:17,106
All right, all right, I'm fine.
1088
00:44:17,141 --> 00:44:19,453
- Get the fuck off me.
- Just think of douchenozzle penis, okay?
1089
00:44:19,477 --> 00:44:21,255
And if any of our pledges
need a little hand
1090
00:44:21,279 --> 00:44:24,080
with their studies,
our ga's at the t&a
1091
00:44:24,115 --> 00:44:27,116
will be more than willing
to give them a helping hand.
1092
00:44:27,151 --> 00:44:28,551
[Music playing]
1093
00:44:31,222 --> 00:44:34,124
Hey, you sacks of shit,
you fall in!
1094
00:44:36,227 --> 00:44:37,727
And trust me, boys,
1095
00:44:37,762 --> 00:44:41,331
when I say that these girls,
they get straight a's...
1096
00:44:41,366 --> 00:44:43,333
- In destroying cock.
- Oh, shit.
1097
00:44:43,368 --> 00:44:45,145
I hear that's a tough program
to get into.
1098
00:44:45,169 --> 00:44:46,480
[Aj]
You're missing the best part.
1099
00:44:46,504 --> 00:44:48,471
When it's time for spring break,
1100
00:44:48,506 --> 00:44:51,708
you'll receive
an all-expense paid vacay
1101
00:44:51,743 --> 00:44:53,142
to Punta Cana.
1102
00:44:53,177 --> 00:44:55,244
Courtesy of our alumni
at the Kappa Nu.
1103
00:44:55,279 --> 00:44:58,514
- [Cheering]
- Fucking deserters!
1104
00:44:58,549 --> 00:45:00,127
Yeah, well, that's fine.
1105
00:45:00,151 --> 00:45:01,729
I was gonna haze
the shit out of you, anyway.
1106
00:45:01,753 --> 00:45:03,386
Hey, he's just kidding.
1107
00:45:03,421 --> 00:45:05,621
Aj's just dirty rushing you.
1108
00:45:05,656 --> 00:45:07,657
It's an easy
fucking decision, right?
1109
00:45:07,692 --> 00:45:09,570
Hey, AJ, I bet you have fucking
1110
00:45:09,594 --> 00:45:12,128
deep throatin' competitions
between haroon and hillman
1111
00:45:12,163 --> 00:45:14,108
and the fucking winner
gets to paint your toenails,
1112
00:45:14,132 --> 00:45:15,598
you fuckin' asshole!
1113
00:45:15,633 --> 00:45:17,478
Me and manzel
fucking tag teamed your mom
1114
00:45:17,502 --> 00:45:19,213
and when we finished,
she was crying
1115
00:45:19,237 --> 00:45:21,015
in both our arms
saying she wished
1116
00:45:21,039 --> 00:45:23,117
she gave you up for adoption,
you stupid son of a bitch.
1117
00:45:23,141 --> 00:45:25,675
Yeah, and when they were done,
he cummed all over her,
1118
00:45:25,710 --> 00:45:27,221
I went in 'cause I take thirds,
1119
00:45:27,245 --> 00:45:29,712
and I fucking gave her
an angry pirate.
1120
00:45:29,747 --> 00:45:31,592
You know what that is?
Let me act it out.
1121
00:45:31,616 --> 00:45:33,227
Ugh! In her eye. [Screams]
1122
00:45:33,251 --> 00:45:35,351
Kicked her in the fucking chin!
1123
00:45:35,386 --> 00:45:38,188
Thanks for the rushies, Charlie.
1124
00:45:39,624 --> 00:45:42,625
Hey, stay low, guys.
1125
00:45:42,660 --> 00:45:44,500
I gotta figure out what to do.
1126
00:45:46,664 --> 00:45:49,032
I know what we can do.
1127
00:45:52,770 --> 00:45:55,171
- This is your idea? Drinking?
- Fuck yeah, dude.
1128
00:45:55,206 --> 00:45:58,541
I mean, drinkin' solves
pretty much everything.
1129
00:45:58,576 --> 00:46:01,177
Normally, I'd agree with you.
1130
00:46:01,212 --> 00:46:04,047
But I'm the one
responsible for all this.
1131
00:46:04,082 --> 00:46:05,225
I was the one that went too far
1132
00:46:05,249 --> 00:46:06,460
with those fireworks even after
1133
00:46:06,484 --> 00:46:07,650
you told me to stop.
1134
00:46:07,685 --> 00:46:09,519
Yeah, that's true.
1135
00:46:09,554 --> 00:46:13,756
But, I mean, that's also
what makes you, you.
1136
00:46:13,791 --> 00:46:16,359
And fuck, I've known you
for pretty much my whole life.
1137
00:46:16,394 --> 00:46:19,695
So I know that you
will figure it out.
1138
00:46:19,730 --> 00:46:21,809
Billy, what the fuck
are you talking about?
1139
00:46:21,833 --> 00:46:24,401
Listen, man.
1140
00:46:26,471 --> 00:46:28,082
I coulda died
on that fencing field
1141
00:46:28,106 --> 00:46:30,073
when we were 12,
but what'd you do?
1142
00:46:30,108 --> 00:46:33,443
You picked me up
and then what happened?
1143
00:46:33,478 --> 00:46:36,079
Carried you to your place.
1144
00:46:36,114 --> 00:46:37,491
- My ball!
- You're going to be okay.
1145
00:46:37,515 --> 00:46:39,615
No, I'm not.
1146
00:46:39,650 --> 00:46:41,084
And then what?
1147
00:46:41,119 --> 00:46:43,119
Stopped the bleeding
from your balls.
1148
00:46:45,656 --> 00:46:49,792
You stopped the bleeding
from my balls.
1149
00:46:49,827 --> 00:46:52,628
You put your little
12-year-old-hands on my nuts,
1150
00:46:52,663 --> 00:46:54,531
and you stopped the bleeding.
1151
00:46:56,734 --> 00:46:58,401
I mean, in retrospect,
1152
00:46:58,436 --> 00:47:00,481
you probably shoulda taken me
to the fucking hospital.
1153
00:47:00,505 --> 00:47:02,238
Yeah.
1154
00:47:02,273 --> 00:47:03,684
This is gettin'
a little too real for me.
1155
00:47:03,708 --> 00:47:06,209
I'm gonna crack open a beer
1156
00:47:06,244 --> 00:47:07,721
and start some brainstormin'.
1157
00:47:07,745 --> 00:47:10,213
- What you say?
- All right, brother.
1158
00:47:20,358 --> 00:47:22,825
- [Katie] You look like shit.
- [Laughs]
1159
00:47:22,860 --> 00:47:25,695
Ah, well, that's not
an easy look to cultivate,
1160
00:47:25,730 --> 00:47:27,241
so glad I'm pulling it off.
1161
00:47:27,265 --> 00:47:29,565
Oh, glad could be of services.
1162
00:47:29,600 --> 00:47:31,578
You're taking
ballston Shakespeare class?
1163
00:47:31,602 --> 00:47:33,747
- Yeah, you heard of it?
- I took it last semester.
1164
00:47:33,771 --> 00:47:34,771
Really?
1165
00:47:36,207 --> 00:47:37,718
Don't look so surprised,
littleton.
1166
00:47:37,742 --> 00:47:39,408
Okay, I like the bard.
1167
00:47:39,443 --> 00:47:40,654
Your brothers must've given you
1168
00:47:40,678 --> 00:47:41,844
a lot of shit for that.
1169
00:47:41,879 --> 00:47:43,524
Yeah, they did,
but like Billy says,
1170
00:47:43,548 --> 00:47:45,681
"to thine own self be true."
1171
00:47:45,716 --> 00:47:47,283
Mm-hmm.
1172
00:47:47,318 --> 00:47:49,152
Do you wanna sit?
1173
00:47:49,187 --> 00:47:51,787
Oh, are you sure you want
to fraternize with the enemy?
1174
00:47:51,822 --> 00:47:54,557
- I won't tell if you won't.
- You know, I don't get
1175
00:47:54,592 --> 00:47:57,360
this whole war between
the kappa's and the Alpha's.
1176
00:47:57,395 --> 00:47:58,805
Why do you guys
hate each other so much?
1177
00:47:58,829 --> 00:48:00,296
Ancient grudge.
1178
00:48:00,331 --> 00:48:01,775
Nobody even remembers why
it started.
1179
00:48:01,799 --> 00:48:04,500
Like the capulets
and the montagues.
1180
00:48:04,535 --> 00:48:06,536
- Ah.
- See what I did there?
1181
00:48:06,571 --> 00:48:08,871
Yes. So, it's a line
that can't be crossed.
1182
00:48:08,906 --> 00:48:10,717
Yeah.
Romeo and juliet crossed it.
1183
00:48:10,741 --> 00:48:12,452
Their love gave them courage.
1184
00:48:12,476 --> 00:48:14,344
Well, they ended up dead.
1185
00:48:15,580 --> 00:48:16,813
Maybe not us.
1186
00:48:20,751 --> 00:48:22,585
I heard about the car wash.
1187
00:48:22,620 --> 00:48:23,931
I'm sorry about your pledges.
1188
00:48:23,955 --> 00:48:25,666
Yeah, well, who woulda thought
1189
00:48:25,690 --> 00:48:28,191
that a bunch of young guys
could be so easily swayed
1190
00:48:28,226 --> 00:48:30,860
by some beautiful
dripping wet women in bikinis?
1191
00:48:30,895 --> 00:48:32,873
- Well, you still have time.
- Not enough.
1192
00:48:32,897 --> 00:48:34,630
We would need, like,
1193
00:48:34,665 --> 00:48:36,577
a bunch of guys
at one time to join.
1194
00:48:36,601 --> 00:48:39,435
Gentlemen! What is up, boys?
1195
00:48:39,470 --> 00:48:41,615
Dude, let's rock and roll!
Let's make heads roll!
1196
00:48:41,639 --> 00:48:44,240
Let's do this, boys! Let's go!
1197
00:48:44,275 --> 00:48:47,710
- You mean like a team?
- Like a team, yes, good idea.
1198
00:48:47,745 --> 00:48:50,513
But, lacrosse guys
don't join fraternities.
1199
00:48:50,548 --> 00:48:52,315
Why not?
1200
00:48:52,350 --> 00:48:54,317
It's a line
that can't be crossed.
1201
00:48:54,352 --> 00:48:57,353
Well, Romeo and juliet
crossed it.
1202
00:48:57,388 --> 00:48:59,522
All you need is a little bit
of courage.
1203
00:49:04,862 --> 00:49:06,673
- [Mix background chatter]
- [Whistle blows]
1204
00:49:06,697 --> 00:49:09,265
Here we go, guys, let's go.
Let's fucking go, boy.
1205
00:49:09,300 --> 00:49:11,234
Fuck you. Let's do it!
1206
00:49:19,310 --> 00:49:20,710
[Phone ringing]
1207
00:49:22,780 --> 00:49:24,358
Douchenozzle,
there has to be one alum
1208
00:49:24,382 --> 00:49:25,348
who played lacrosse.
1209
00:49:25,383 --> 00:49:27,617
Find him. Do it.
1210
00:49:27,652 --> 00:49:29,496
You can do way better than this.
1211
00:49:29,520 --> 00:49:32,488
- Shut the fuck up, wimp. -Come on, Zack.
Help me do it.
1212
00:49:34,825 --> 00:49:36,859
Ow! There they are!
1213
00:49:36,894 --> 00:49:38,805
There they are!
Great game out there, Zack!
1214
00:49:38,829 --> 00:49:41,897
Great game. You slaughtered
them out there.
1215
00:49:41,932 --> 00:49:43,543
This was a fucking practice,
dickface.
1216
00:49:43,567 --> 00:49:45,868
Yeah, what can I say,
you guys were fantastic.
1217
00:49:45,903 --> 00:49:47,403
Who the fuck are you?
1218
00:49:47,438 --> 00:49:49,472
Yeah, who the fuck are you,
Nancy drew?
1219
00:49:49,507 --> 00:49:51,941
My name is Charlie Martin.
I'm from axg.
1220
00:49:51,976 --> 00:49:54,821
And we think you boys have what
it takes to become members.
1221
00:49:54,845 --> 00:49:57,591
- Lacrosse players don't join frats.
- I don't know, Zack.
1222
00:49:57,615 --> 00:49:59,660
I think you guys
are already a fraternity.
1223
00:49:59,684 --> 00:50:01,295
You just haven't
realized it yet.
1224
00:50:01,319 --> 00:50:02,629
I mean, you eat together.
1225
00:50:02,653 --> 00:50:04,431
You study together.
You party together.
1226
00:50:04,455 --> 00:50:06,433
Hell, you're probably banging
the same checks, too.
1227
00:50:06,457 --> 00:50:09,025
- Hmm?
- Yeah, man.
1228
00:50:09,060 --> 00:50:10,760
A'right, a'right.
1229
00:50:10,795 --> 00:50:12,606
You guys are a family
just like us.
1230
00:50:12,630 --> 00:50:13,940
Well, if we already do
all that shit,
1231
00:50:13,964 --> 00:50:15,676
why the fuck do we need to join?
1232
00:50:15,700 --> 00:50:17,744
That is a very good question,
and one I will answer.
1233
00:50:17,768 --> 00:50:18,979
Excuse me, boys. Excuse me.
1234
00:50:19,003 --> 00:50:20,447
Holy shit. You're Sam venable.
1235
00:50:20,471 --> 00:50:21,904
I sure as shit am, son.
1236
00:50:21,939 --> 00:50:24,440
Ncaa division one,
lacrosse all-star,
1237
00:50:24,475 --> 00:50:26,019
five time
world lacrosse champion
1238
00:50:26,043 --> 00:50:27,587
with the rings to prove it.
1239
00:50:27,611 --> 00:50:29,389
You guys get rings for that,
don't you?
1240
00:50:29,413 --> 00:50:31,591
- We sure as shit do, son.
- And most importantly he was...
1241
00:50:31,615 --> 00:50:34,617
Former Alpha vice president
and alumni chairman.
1242
00:50:34,652 --> 00:50:36,986
You're my fucking hero.
Can I have an autograph?
1243
00:50:37,021 --> 00:50:39,689
I'll give you an autograph
when you sign a bid card.
1244
00:50:39,724 --> 00:50:42,558
- [Man] All right, we'll come.
- Okay, we will,
1245
00:50:42,593 --> 00:50:44,037
but we're not
making any promises.
1246
00:50:44,061 --> 00:50:46,662
- It's cool, man.
- Let's go, boys.
1247
00:50:46,697 --> 00:50:50,099
- All right, right on!
- It's Sam fuckin' venable.
1248
00:50:50,134 --> 00:50:53,436
Sam, I really appreciate
your help on this one.
1249
00:50:53,471 --> 00:50:55,782
No problem. Anything for the
son of old torchy, huh?
1250
00:50:55,806 --> 00:50:57,286
- Ugh!
- Whew!
1251
00:50:59,910 --> 00:51:01,722
- [Charlie] Almost there.
- [Katie] All right.
1252
00:51:01,746 --> 00:51:03,479
[Charlie] Almost there.
1253
00:51:03,514 --> 00:51:05,381
All right.
1254
00:51:05,416 --> 00:51:07,094
[Katie] Ugh. You're gonna
murder me, aren't you?
1255
00:51:07,118 --> 00:51:09,585
Uh, you ruined
your surprise, way to go.
1256
00:51:09,620 --> 00:51:11,620
- Okay.
- Yeah?
1257
00:51:11,655 --> 00:51:13,122
Oh!
1258
00:51:13,157 --> 00:51:14,724
A picnic?
1259
00:51:14,759 --> 00:51:17,460
- What, and rose petals?
- Yeah.
1260
00:51:17,495 --> 00:51:19,695
- Wow. How romantic of you.
- Well,
1261
00:51:19,730 --> 00:51:22,398
I saw it on "the bachelor."
1262
00:51:22,433 --> 00:51:25,000
Wow, I'm just surprised
the wine didn't come in a box.
1263
00:51:25,035 --> 00:51:27,002
Well, littleton, I'm all class.
1264
00:51:27,037 --> 00:51:30,439
- What can I say?
- I'm very impressed.
1265
00:51:30,474 --> 00:51:32,742
This is to say thank you
for the wonderful idea
1266
00:51:32,777 --> 00:51:35,411
- about the lacrosse team.
- Wait, so did they commit?
1267
00:51:35,446 --> 00:51:37,880
Not yet, but we're having
a party tomorrow night
1268
00:51:37,915 --> 00:51:40,549
so, I'm kinda hoping
that seals the deal.
1269
00:51:40,584 --> 00:51:42,485
- Party?
- Uh-huh.
1270
00:51:42,520 --> 00:51:45,465
- Why, thank you for the invite.
- Well, you're not invited.
1271
00:51:45,489 --> 00:51:47,590
- Thank you.
- Obviously,
1272
00:51:47,625 --> 00:51:49,625
I would love it
if you could come.
1273
00:51:49,660 --> 00:51:51,505
Okay, thank you. I'll be there.
1274
00:51:51,529 --> 00:51:54,731
I graciously accept
your last minute invitation.
1275
00:51:57,435 --> 00:52:00,903
Mm, so what made you
want to become an Alpha?
1276
00:52:00,938 --> 00:52:04,507
My father was
an Alpha, actually.
1277
00:52:04,542 --> 00:52:06,787
He used to always talk about
the amazing times he had here
1278
00:52:06,811 --> 00:52:08,711
and wanted nothing more for me
1279
00:52:08,746 --> 00:52:10,056
than just to follow
in his footsteps.
1280
00:52:10,080 --> 00:52:11,180
He must be really proud
1281
00:52:11,215 --> 00:52:12,559
of what you're doing right now.
1282
00:52:12,583 --> 00:52:13,983
Yeah, he would be.
1283
00:52:14,018 --> 00:52:16,619
- He died when I was young.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
1284
00:52:16,654 --> 00:52:18,154
Hmm, it's okay.
1285
00:52:18,189 --> 00:52:21,690
Actually, he was gonna run
for governor,
1286
00:52:21,725 --> 00:52:24,193
and Billy's dad was gonna be
his campaign manager.
1287
00:52:24,228 --> 00:52:25,772
- Really.
- Yeah, but when dad died,
1288
00:52:25,796 --> 00:52:28,864
Governor Taylor now,
picked up the torch
1289
00:52:28,899 --> 00:52:31,901
and, um...
1290
00:52:31,936 --> 00:52:33,780
You know, he's always been
a second father to me.
1291
00:52:33,804 --> 00:52:35,048
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
1292
00:52:35,072 --> 00:52:36,739
And Billy, my brother,
1293
00:52:36,774 --> 00:52:39,875
my crazy brother.
1294
00:52:39,910 --> 00:52:42,178
So, I guess being a leader
is just in your DNA.
1295
00:52:42,213 --> 00:52:45,514
- Well, I guess so.
- Hmm, so, uh,
1296
00:52:45,549 --> 00:52:48,017
are you planning on following
in your fathers footsteps,
1297
00:52:48,052 --> 00:52:49,552
future governor?
1298
00:52:49,587 --> 00:52:51,554
Nothing would make me happier.
1299
00:52:51,589 --> 00:52:53,109
- Nothing?
- Mm.
1300
00:53:10,207 --> 00:53:12,107
Nice "beerymid."
1301
00:53:12,142 --> 00:53:13,643
Mm-hmm.
1302
00:53:21,051 --> 00:53:23,886
- [Katie moaning] Oh, yeah.
- Hey, shh, shh, shh, shh.
1303
00:53:23,921 --> 00:53:25,688
- You hear that?
- Mm-hmm.
1304
00:53:25,723 --> 00:53:28,023
Sounds like chuckles
is puttin' the ole tube steak
1305
00:53:28,058 --> 00:53:31,727
- into the oven.
- Ah, I love steak!
1306
00:53:31,762 --> 00:53:33,896
I gotta go. [Clears throat]
1307
00:53:33,931 --> 00:53:35,675
- [Beer cans clanging]
- Oh, for fuck's sake!
1308
00:53:35,699 --> 00:53:37,143
That took me, like, 20 minutes.
1309
00:53:37,167 --> 00:53:38,868
Hey!
1310
00:53:38,903 --> 00:53:40,747
Don't you fuckin'
jerk off in my room again.
1311
00:53:40,771 --> 00:53:42,182
I catch you jerking off
in my room again,
1312
00:53:42,206 --> 00:53:44,240
- I'll whoop your ass.
- It's too late.
1313
00:53:44,275 --> 00:53:47,195
- Douche!
- I'm only gonna jerk off to the katie parts.
1314
00:53:49,146 --> 00:53:51,992
[Katie] Do you get the feeling
that we were being watched?
1315
00:53:52,016 --> 00:53:53,849
[Charlie] Watched? No.
1316
00:53:53,884 --> 00:53:55,618
Listen to? Definitely.
1317
00:53:55,653 --> 00:53:57,130
Ah. [Giggles]
1318
00:53:57,154 --> 00:53:59,589
[Both chattering]
1319
00:54:01,859 --> 00:54:04,093
- Well, I had fun today.
- Yes, I noticed.
1320
00:54:04,128 --> 00:54:05,861
[Both laugh]
1321
00:54:05,896 --> 00:54:07,874
- Thank you for walking me home.
- Of course.
1322
00:54:07,898 --> 00:54:09,565
So, party tomorrow night?
1323
00:54:09,600 --> 00:54:12,168
- I will be there.
- Okay. See you.
1324
00:54:15,105 --> 00:54:16,939
- See you.
- To be continued.
1325
00:54:16,974 --> 00:54:18,207
Yes.
1326
00:54:26,283 --> 00:54:29,018
That fucking bitch.
1327
00:54:30,688 --> 00:54:33,088
Well, looks like
we got a traitor in our midst.
1328
00:54:33,123 --> 00:54:34,891
What? Where?
1329
00:54:36,594 --> 00:54:38,861
You gonna take care of that?
1330
00:54:38,896 --> 00:54:40,696
It'll be my pleasure.
1331
00:54:43,133 --> 00:54:44,893
I didn't tell you to stop.
1332
00:54:50,808 --> 00:54:52,041
Teeth.
1333
00:55:04,154 --> 00:55:05,888
Katie.
1334
00:55:05,923 --> 00:55:07,156
Katie!
1335
00:55:09,326 --> 00:55:11,827
- Katie!
- What?
1336
00:55:11,862 --> 00:55:13,206
Why weren't you at the car wash
1337
00:55:13,230 --> 00:55:14,296
yesterday, Katie?
1338
00:55:14,331 --> 00:55:16,298
Because I was in class, Becca.
1339
00:55:16,333 --> 00:55:17,833
That car wash was official
1340
00:55:17,868 --> 00:55:20,869
- Sigma Business, bitch.
- I was in class.
1341
00:55:20,904 --> 00:55:23,105
You think this is all
some big joke, don't you?
1342
00:55:23,140 --> 00:55:25,218
I didn't join just so I could
wash cars with my tits.
1343
00:55:25,242 --> 00:55:27,354
And all you seem to care about
these days is looking for ways
1344
00:55:27,378 --> 00:55:29,889
- to fuck over Charlie.
- And all you seem to care about
1345
00:55:29,913 --> 00:55:31,758
is trying to find ways
to fuck him.
1346
00:55:31,782 --> 00:55:34,083
Ugh! Why are you
like this, Becca?
1347
00:55:34,118 --> 00:55:36,586
This is your last warning.
1348
00:55:40,891 --> 00:55:42,369
All right, boys,
big night tonight.
1349
00:55:42,393 --> 00:55:44,237
We need the lacrosse team
to commit.
1350
00:55:44,261 --> 00:55:46,039
Our future pretty much
depends on it.
1351
00:55:46,063 --> 00:55:47,841
Douchenozzle,
what's the theme of the party?
1352
00:55:47,865 --> 00:55:50,332
"Paintapalooza."
Flesh is your canvas.
1353
00:55:50,367 --> 00:55:53,702
I love it. Jonesy.
1354
00:55:53,737 --> 00:55:55,382
If you see one of the members
of the lacrosse team
1355
00:55:55,406 --> 00:55:57,017
that looks the least bit bored,
1356
00:55:57,041 --> 00:55:58,818
you put a beer in his hand
and a hot slam-piece
1357
00:55:58,842 --> 00:56:00,353
on his arm
and we show these guys
1358
00:56:00,377 --> 00:56:02,745
the best fucking party
of their lives, okay? Yeah.
1359
00:56:02,780 --> 00:56:04,758
- Get some! Get some!
- Sarge, sarge, sarge!
1360
00:56:04,782 --> 00:56:08,083
Sarge, it's a paint party,
not a paint gun party.
1361
00:56:08,118 --> 00:56:09,952
- Yes, sir!
- Yeah.
1362
00:56:09,987 --> 00:56:12,421
Listen, okay,
I need you to keep a lookout
1363
00:56:12,456 --> 00:56:13,900
for the kappy nu goons tonight.
1364
00:56:13,924 --> 00:56:15,335
If any of those dickheads
get within
1365
00:56:15,359 --> 00:56:17,337
50 feet of the perimeter,
you eliminate them.
1366
00:56:17,361 --> 00:56:19,695
Can you handle that, soldier?
1367
00:56:19,730 --> 00:56:21,141
With extreme prejudice, sir.
1368
00:56:21,165 --> 00:56:23,666
- Good, go on.
- You're all warriors.
1369
00:56:23,701 --> 00:56:25,401
Gonna get some! Hoorah!
1370
00:56:27,071 --> 00:56:28,270
Van dyke, I need you
1371
00:56:28,305 --> 00:56:30,016
to setup cameras
all around the house.
1372
00:56:30,040 --> 00:56:32,052
I want to catch people
doing some crazy shit tonight.
1373
00:56:32,076 --> 00:56:33,842
Can you handle that?
1374
00:56:33,877 --> 00:56:35,455
Yeah, I don't think
that's gonna be a problem.
1375
00:56:35,479 --> 00:56:36,979
Guys, all eyes on Billy.
1376
00:56:37,014 --> 00:56:39,281
[All chanting] Billy!
1377
00:56:41,151 --> 00:56:42,818
[Music playing]
1378
00:56:44,421 --> 00:56:46,388
[All chattering]
1379
00:56:46,423 --> 00:56:48,134
Let's light the fires,
let's keep it tight,
1380
00:56:48,158 --> 00:56:49,436
and remember lacrosse team.
1381
00:56:49,460 --> 00:56:51,237
Bring 'em in. Come on in, guys.
1382
00:56:51,261 --> 00:56:53,462
[Cheering]
1383
00:56:53,497 --> 00:56:55,464
Let's go, boys!
1384
00:56:55,499 --> 00:56:58,100
[Music playing]
1385
00:57:03,373 --> 00:57:05,174
Hey! What'd all say
1386
00:57:05,209 --> 00:57:09,044
we get this
fucking party started!
1387
00:57:09,079 --> 00:57:11,213
[All cheering]
1388
00:57:11,248 --> 00:57:12,948
Whew!
1389
00:57:37,441 --> 00:57:39,408
Hey ladies.
It's a killer party, huh?
1390
00:57:39,443 --> 00:57:43,879
You know I would love
to show you around the house.
1391
00:57:43,914 --> 00:57:46,181
Or not.
1392
00:57:46,216 --> 00:57:49,852
Ouch. Sorry, man.
1393
00:57:49,887 --> 00:57:52,121
- That was brutal.
- Yeah.
1394
00:57:52,156 --> 00:57:55,124
You saw that, did you?
That's great.
1395
00:57:55,159 --> 00:57:57,826
Hey, I know how you feel.
1396
00:57:57,861 --> 00:57:59,773
All I ever used to do
was strike out.
1397
00:57:59,797 --> 00:58:01,897
I didn't see
my first non-internet tit
1398
00:58:01,932 --> 00:58:03,065
till last year.
1399
00:58:03,100 --> 00:58:06,835
Excuse me.
1400
00:58:06,870 --> 00:58:09,805
Jonesy, I have been
in a vaginal rut
1401
00:58:09,840 --> 00:58:11,206
for three god damn years,
1402
00:58:11,241 --> 00:58:13,119
and I thought
that banging old whore Pearl
1403
00:58:13,143 --> 00:58:14,554
might've given me
a little boost, right?
1404
00:58:14,578 --> 00:58:17,312
But all it gave me
was chlamydia.
1405
00:58:17,347 --> 00:58:20,516
Look, I know it sucks,
but trust me,
1406
00:58:20,551 --> 00:58:22,217
it'll get better.
1407
00:58:22,252 --> 00:58:24,987
Yeah, that's easy
for you to say, rainmaker,
1408
00:58:25,022 --> 00:58:26,499
but not all of us are blessed
1409
00:58:26,523 --> 00:58:29,224
with your religious like
abilities to monsoon the poon.
1410
00:58:29,259 --> 00:58:32,127
[Hisses]
1411
00:58:32,162 --> 00:58:36,098
Maybe it's time
I spray it forward.
1412
00:58:52,149 --> 00:58:54,116
- Hi.
- Want some paint?
1413
00:58:54,151 --> 00:58:55,284
Thank you.
1414
00:58:58,121 --> 00:59:00,222
Hey, think fast.
1415
00:59:00,257 --> 00:59:02,057
[Laughing]
1416
00:59:02,092 --> 00:59:04,092
I'm marking my territory.
1417
00:59:04,127 --> 00:59:05,505
Oh, two can play that game.
1418
00:59:05,529 --> 00:59:07,930
Hey, okay.
1419
00:59:07,965 --> 00:59:09,475
- What's that supposed to be?
- It's a heart.
1420
00:59:09,499 --> 00:59:13,202
Oh, Charlie,
that's really corny.
1421
00:59:13,237 --> 00:59:15,904
I could tell by that
constipated look on your face
1422
00:59:15,939 --> 00:59:18,318
-the lacrosse team hasn't shown up yet.
- No, not yet.
1423
00:59:18,342 --> 00:59:20,253
And I'm on the verge
of freaking the fuck out.
1424
00:59:20,277 --> 00:59:22,611
Well, don't sweat it.
1425
00:59:22,646 --> 00:59:24,390
I have a feeling things
are gonna turn around
1426
00:59:24,414 --> 00:59:26,115
a whole lot.
1427
00:59:27,951 --> 00:59:29,351
Oh, thank god.
1428
00:59:29,386 --> 00:59:31,197
- I gotta handle this, but, uh...
- Okay.
1429
00:59:31,221 --> 00:59:34,323
Okay, thank you.
To be continued.
1430
00:59:34,358 --> 00:59:36,124
Hey guys, how're you doing?
1431
00:59:36,159 --> 00:59:37,960
Welcome to Alpha Chi Gamma.
1432
00:59:37,995 --> 00:59:40,162
Pretty serious
fucking party, bro.
1433
00:59:40,197 --> 00:59:42,164
Thank you, sir.
More booze in there.
1434
00:59:42,199 --> 00:59:43,610
Miss lisa here has your paint.
1435
00:59:43,634 --> 00:59:45,067
Here you go, boys.
1436
00:59:45,102 --> 00:59:47,369
Holy shit,
you're so fucking hot.
1437
00:59:47,404 --> 00:59:49,371
Why thank you, little guy.
1438
00:59:49,406 --> 00:59:52,441
Do you know
you're not so bad yourself.
1439
00:59:52,476 --> 00:59:54,487
Looks like someone's pinky's
about to get stinky,
1440
00:59:54,511 --> 00:59:56,912
am I right, boys?
1441
00:59:56,947 --> 00:59:58,491
All right, all right, all right.
1442
00:59:58,515 --> 01:00:00,415
He's gonna get laid tonight.
1443
01:00:00,450 --> 01:00:01,961
All right, boys,
grab your weapons,
1444
01:00:01,985 --> 01:00:03,252
let's head inside.
1445
01:00:03,287 --> 01:00:04,497
- Follow me.
- I'll see you later.
1446
01:00:04,521 --> 01:00:07,122
[All cheering]
1447
01:00:08,225 --> 01:00:09,958
Right this way, boys.
1448
01:00:09,993 --> 01:00:11,159
Way to go, ladies.
1449
01:00:11,194 --> 01:00:12,405
Can I have
your attention please?
1450
01:00:12,429 --> 01:00:13,606
Sorry to interrupt your game.
1451
01:00:13,630 --> 01:00:15,208
But we have some
very special guests
1452
01:00:15,232 --> 01:00:16,198
with us this evening.
1453
01:00:16,233 --> 01:00:17,633
Fellas, come on in.
1454
01:00:17,668 --> 01:00:19,279
- File on in. Thank you, Heather.
- Shit!
1455
01:00:19,303 --> 01:00:20,947
This beer pong table kicks ass.
1456
01:00:20,971 --> 01:00:22,271
She certainly does, wiv.
1457
01:00:22,306 --> 01:00:25,207
Gentlemen,
welcome to the bro-olympics.
1458
01:00:25,242 --> 01:00:28,143
The deal is if we lose you walk.
1459
01:00:28,178 --> 01:00:30,979
But if we win, you're in.
1460
01:00:31,014 --> 01:00:33,248
- Yeah.
- Deal.
1461
01:00:33,283 --> 01:00:35,183
- Let the games begin.
- [Cheering]
1462
01:00:35,218 --> 01:00:37,386
Number one, flip cup.
1463
01:00:37,421 --> 01:00:39,354
- [Cheering]
- It's huge.
1464
01:00:39,389 --> 01:00:41,067
Obviously, we play
a little differently.
1465
01:00:41,091 --> 01:00:43,525
Don't worry, we got this.
We got this.
1466
01:00:43,560 --> 01:00:46,395
We're getting our house back.
Let's go.
1467
01:00:46,430 --> 01:00:49,031
[Music playing]
1468
01:01:53,563 --> 01:01:55,575
All right, don't worry.
We'll get 'em on the next one.
1469
01:01:55,599 --> 01:01:57,043
We'll get 'em on the next one.
1470
01:01:57,067 --> 01:01:58,378
All right, everybody.
Settle down.
1471
01:01:58,402 --> 01:02:02,137
Second event. Body darts.
1472
01:02:02,172 --> 01:02:06,508
That's my fucking specialty.
That's my specialty.
1473
01:02:06,543 --> 01:02:08,610
[Charlie] Body darts.
1474
01:02:08,645 --> 01:02:11,213
First person to scream
or spill his beer, loses.
1475
01:02:11,248 --> 01:02:14,116
[No audio]
1476
01:02:24,795 --> 01:02:27,229
You got this.
He ain't got shit to wear.
1477
01:02:27,264 --> 01:02:29,398
[All chattering]
1478
01:02:31,201 --> 01:02:32,779
He's takin' it! He's takin' it!
1479
01:02:32,803 --> 01:02:34,569
- [Cheering]
- God damn it!
1480
01:02:34,604 --> 01:02:37,172
Son of a bitch... ow!
1481
01:02:37,207 --> 01:02:39,008
[No audio]
1482
01:02:58,795 --> 01:03:01,430
Don't fuckin' touch it!
1483
01:03:01,465 --> 01:03:03,331
Final round, beer pong.
1484
01:03:03,366 --> 01:03:07,602
No, wiv.
In this house, two cups.
1485
01:03:07,637 --> 01:03:09,171
What the fuck is two cups?
1486
01:03:09,206 --> 01:03:11,740
Two cups, two balls, one shot.
1487
01:03:11,775 --> 01:03:14,409
All right, man. We got this.
1488
01:03:14,444 --> 01:03:16,311
[Music playing]
1489
01:03:17,414 --> 01:03:19,548
Let's go, Zack.
1490
01:03:30,827 --> 01:03:32,538
Nice shot, Zack. Nice shot.
1491
01:03:32,562 --> 01:03:34,207
Go find douchenozzle now.
1492
01:03:34,231 --> 01:03:36,142
Wait, I think
it's your turn to go now.
1493
01:03:36,166 --> 01:03:38,326
- Isn't it, Charlie?
- It sure is, boys, cheers.
1494
01:03:40,570 --> 01:03:44,339
There you fucking are, i...
Whoa! Holy shit.
1495
01:03:44,374 --> 01:03:46,241
Did you, um...
1496
01:03:46,276 --> 01:03:49,611
I did, and it was awesome.
1497
01:03:49,646 --> 01:03:51,546
Nice. Now fucking come on!
1498
01:03:51,581 --> 01:03:53,582
We gotta get outta here.
Sorry, Betty.
1499
01:03:53,617 --> 01:03:55,428
- I'm Billy, by the way.
- I'm good.
1500
01:03:55,452 --> 01:03:57,752
Ah! I got it in my eyes.
Oh, god, it burns.
1501
01:03:57,787 --> 01:03:59,632
Well, stop touching
your fucking eyes, douche.
1502
01:03:59,656 --> 01:04:00,833
I found him, but I don't know
1503
01:04:00,857 --> 01:04:02,468
what fucking use he's gonna be.
1504
01:04:02,492 --> 01:04:04,203
I got it all in my eyes.
I can't see for shit.
1505
01:04:04,227 --> 01:04:06,272
- But it was worth it.
- What, you guys gonna forfeit?
1506
01:04:06,296 --> 01:04:09,264
- No, no, no.
- Step aside, Charlie.
1507
01:04:09,299 --> 01:04:12,667
Uh, Jonesy, wait a second.
Are you sure about this?
1508
01:04:12,702 --> 01:04:14,836
- This is a triple shot.
- Trust me.
1509
01:04:14,871 --> 01:04:16,371
I'm a professional.
1510
01:04:19,376 --> 01:04:21,643
[Music playing]
1511
01:04:47,604 --> 01:04:49,404
[Cheering]
1512
01:04:56,780 --> 01:04:58,580
Drink, bitch.
1513
01:05:03,486 --> 01:05:06,388
Well, I got to admit,
that was pretty badass.
1514
01:05:06,423 --> 01:05:08,323
So...
1515
01:05:08,358 --> 01:05:09,724
We're in.
1516
01:05:09,759 --> 01:05:11,593
[Cheering continues]
1517
01:05:13,396 --> 01:05:15,764
We got our pledges, baby.
1518
01:05:31,915 --> 01:05:34,516
[Mumbles]
1519
01:05:34,551 --> 01:05:37,886
I'm gonna keep it brief, but
tomorrow morning Alpha Chi Gamma
1520
01:05:37,921 --> 01:05:40,622
is officially
motherfucking back.
1521
01:05:45,428 --> 01:05:48,463
And we are motherfucking
here to stay.
1522
01:05:48,498 --> 01:05:51,533
[Cheering, music playing]
1523
01:05:51,568 --> 01:05:53,246
♪ Strobe lights, light sticks ♪
1524
01:05:53,270 --> 01:05:54,903
♪ Shots on big tits ♪
1525
01:05:54,938 --> 01:05:56,482
♪ Shake 'em, baby,
for the camera run ♪
1526
01:05:56,506 --> 01:05:57,950
♪ Now you can make me
your manager ♪
1527
01:05:57,974 --> 01:05:59,518
♪ 'Cause you're far from
an amateur ♪
1528
01:05:59,542 --> 01:06:00,886
♪ Back shots, I'mma damage her ♪
1529
01:06:00,910 --> 01:06:02,655
♪ I can tell
when I dance with her ♪
1530
01:06:02,679 --> 01:06:04,390
♪ She was grindin' me
up against the wall ♪
1531
01:06:04,414 --> 01:06:06,325
♪ I got beers
and unlimited alcohol ♪
1532
01:06:06,349 --> 01:06:08,027
♪ The college life,
I'm goin' till I'm gone ♪
1533
01:06:08,051 --> 01:06:11,286
♪ Fuck it, let's make out
on the jumbotron ♪
1534
01:06:11,321 --> 01:06:13,355
♪ Mm, let's go ♪
1535
01:06:13,390 --> 01:06:15,357
♪ Okay, okay, okay ♪
1536
01:06:15,392 --> 01:06:16,992
♪ Mm, let's go ♪
1537
01:06:17,027 --> 01:06:18,860
♪ Okay, okay, okay ♪
1538
01:06:18,895 --> 01:06:20,962
♪ Mm, let's go ♪
1539
01:06:20,997 --> 01:06:22,664
♪ Okay, okay, okay ♪
1540
01:06:22,699 --> 01:06:24,966
♪ Mm, let's go ♪
1541
01:06:25,001 --> 01:06:26,812
♪ This is the best time
of my life ♪
1542
01:06:26,836 --> 01:06:28,547
♪ Don't wanna commit,
admit no wife ♪
1543
01:06:28,571 --> 01:06:30,416
♪ I'm in a house party
feelin' nice ♪
1544
01:06:30,440 --> 01:06:32,351
♪ And we were so turned up,
that the cops came twice ♪
1545
01:06:32,375 --> 01:06:33,753
♪ Third time they came
to drink with us ♪
1546
01:06:33,777 --> 01:06:34,987
♪ Real shit,
they were hollering ♪
1547
01:06:35,011 --> 01:06:36,444
♪ To paint with us ♪
1548
01:06:36,479 --> 01:06:37,523
♪ Facts, and we ain't gotta ♪
1549
01:06:37,547 --> 01:06:38,580
♪ Talk no more ♪
1550
01:06:38,615 --> 01:06:39,692
♪ I'm on the frat life ♪
1551
01:06:39,716 --> 01:06:41,516
♪ So let's fuckin' go ♪
1552
01:06:41,551 --> 01:06:43,585
♪ Mm, let's go ♪
1553
01:06:43,620 --> 01:06:45,387
♪ Okay, okay, okay ♪
1554
01:06:45,422 --> 01:06:47,389
♪ Mm, let's go ♪
1555
01:06:47,424 --> 01:06:49,024
♪ Okay, okay, okay ♪
1556
01:06:49,059 --> 01:06:50,892
♪ Mm, let's go ♪
1557
01:06:50,927 --> 01:06:52,627
♪ Okay, okay, okay ♪
1558
01:06:52,662 --> 01:06:56,464
- ♪ Mm, let's go.
- ♪ yo, it's time to go ♪
1559
01:06:56,499 --> 01:06:57,799
I have to admit,
1560
01:06:57,834 --> 01:06:59,412
you guys sure know how
to throw a party.
1561
01:06:59,436 --> 01:07:01,303
What're you doing here, Becca?
1562
01:07:01,338 --> 01:07:02,615
I'm here to rage
my face off, katie,
1563
01:07:02,639 --> 01:07:03,905
just like you.
1564
01:07:03,940 --> 01:07:04,940
Drink up, Charlie.
1565
01:07:04,974 --> 01:07:06,608
Though I have to admit,
1566
01:07:06,643 --> 01:07:08,610
there is one thing missing.
1567
01:07:08,645 --> 01:07:10,445
- What?
- The truth.
1568
01:07:10,480 --> 01:07:11,980
Don't, Becca, please.
1569
01:07:12,015 --> 01:07:14,916
Either you tell him or I will.
1570
01:07:14,951 --> 01:07:16,818
Tell me what? What's going on?
1571
01:07:16,853 --> 01:07:18,698
You see, it wasn't
actually your fault,
1572
01:07:18,722 --> 01:07:20,499
those fireworks
destroyed your house.
1573
01:07:20,523 --> 01:07:24,659
- Becca, shut up.
- Aj rigged the fireworks.
1574
01:07:24,694 --> 01:07:27,362
When this fucking thing
goes off,
1575
01:07:27,397 --> 01:07:28,997
huh, goodbye Alpha Chi.
1576
01:07:29,032 --> 01:07:31,533
And you took the blame.
1577
01:07:31,568 --> 01:07:33,802
Of course he did
have a little help.
1578
01:07:33,837 --> 01:07:35,737
Katie and I distracted you.
1579
01:07:35,772 --> 01:07:37,973
So AJ could sabotage your shit.
1580
01:07:42,746 --> 01:07:44,913
Is that true?
1581
01:07:44,948 --> 01:07:47,682
- Charlie, I'm sorry...
- That's true.
1582
01:07:47,717 --> 01:07:49,395
That night has haunted me
for three years,
1583
01:07:49,419 --> 01:07:52,454
and you helped cause it?
1584
01:07:52,489 --> 01:07:55,757
[Chuckles]
I think you should leave.
1585
01:07:55,792 --> 01:07:57,472
- Charlie, i...
- Cheers.
1586
01:08:00,597 --> 01:08:03,465
Why are you
fucking like this, Becca?
1587
01:08:03,500 --> 01:08:06,368
I think Charlie
just cunt punted you
1588
01:08:06,403 --> 01:08:07,869
out of this party, bitch.
1589
01:08:18,047 --> 01:08:20,716
[Music playing]
1590
01:08:37,500 --> 01:08:41,069
- Oh, fuck, man down.
- [Yelling incoherently]
1591
01:08:46,609 --> 01:08:48,743
- Darling.
- Becca.
1592
01:08:48,778 --> 01:08:51,190
- Come on, get up. -I don't
wanna go with you, Becca.
1593
01:08:51,214 --> 01:08:53,526
- Don't worry, I got you.
- Becca, can I tell you something?
1594
01:08:53,550 --> 01:08:55,060
- You're an evil bitch, you know?
- Uh-huh.
1595
01:08:55,084 --> 01:08:56,729
But you,
you have some really nice...
1596
01:08:56,753 --> 01:08:58,764
- Stay with me, Charlie.
- You have really nice boobs.
1597
01:08:58,788 --> 01:09:00,955
- Stay with me.
- They're nice.
1598
01:09:00,990 --> 01:09:02,023
Hey.
1599
01:09:03,827 --> 01:09:05,794
Hey, Charlie.
1600
01:09:05,829 --> 01:09:08,496
Charlie, what the fuck, man.
1601
01:09:08,531 --> 01:09:10,098
Charlie.
1602
01:09:10,133 --> 01:09:12,100
Charlie, where're you going?
1603
01:09:12,135 --> 01:09:13,869
What the fuck, man?
1604
01:09:16,973 --> 01:09:18,651
[Charlie] Will you get
me some more beer?
1605
01:09:18,675 --> 01:09:20,742
I think you've had enough.
There we go.
1606
01:09:20,777 --> 01:09:22,521
What the fuck took you so long?
1607
01:09:22,545 --> 01:09:24,223
Are you kidding me?
You're getting paid the same.
1608
01:09:24,247 --> 01:09:26,926
- Okay? Relax.
- Why's everything so blurry, man?
1609
01:09:26,950 --> 01:09:28,990
I mean, I feel like
I need some glasses.
1610
01:09:29,018 --> 01:09:30,585
Am I gonna be like Jonesy?
1611
01:09:30,620 --> 01:09:32,164
- I'm gonna be like Jonesy.
- Relax, Charlie.
1612
01:09:32,188 --> 01:09:33,999
I just gave you
a little something to chill
1613
01:09:34,023 --> 01:09:36,624
you out, you're gonna love this.
1614
01:09:36,659 --> 01:09:37,803
Hey, who's your two friends?
1615
01:09:37,827 --> 01:09:39,038
You are paying me
in cash, right?
1616
01:09:39,062 --> 01:09:41,696
- Yes, of course.
- Oh! Oh!
1617
01:09:41,731 --> 01:09:43,776
- All right, let's get nice and comfy.
- My penis is out.
1618
01:09:43,800 --> 01:09:46,234
That's what we want.
Okay, there we go.
1619
01:09:46,269 --> 01:09:49,537
- There we go.
- Hey, whoa. Hey, wow.
1620
01:09:49,572 --> 01:09:51,217
- Nice boobs, babe.
- Mm-hmm, they're gorgeous.
1621
01:09:51,241 --> 01:09:53,775
- Yeah.
- Hey, wait a second.
1622
01:09:53,810 --> 01:09:56,878
- Wait a second. I like katie's boobs.
- No, you don't.
1623
01:09:56,913 --> 01:10:00,815
- Who the fuck is katie?
- Why don't you fondle them a bit? Yeah.
1624
01:10:00,850 --> 01:10:03,751
Drink up, Charlie. Drink up.
1625
01:10:03,786 --> 01:10:05,620
Drink up. There you go.
1626
01:10:05,655 --> 01:10:07,889
Chug it. Keep chugging.
1627
01:10:07,924 --> 01:10:12,527
- Oh, oh, that's my penis.
- Are you seeing this, AJ?
1628
01:10:12,562 --> 01:10:14,206
- Loud and clear.
- Animal!
1629
01:10:14,230 --> 01:10:16,998
- Who's your favorite animal?
- Hey, get that money shot.
1630
01:10:17,033 --> 01:10:20,702
Oh, right.
Let's get the money shot.
1631
01:10:20,737 --> 01:10:23,015
- All right. Hey, asshole.
- What're you doing with the paint?
1632
01:10:23,039 --> 01:10:24,216
- You got paint.
- Oh, yeah.
1633
01:10:24,240 --> 01:10:25,607
It's showtime.
1634
01:10:25,642 --> 01:10:27,152
You know what I wanted to say.
1635
01:10:27,176 --> 01:10:31,179
- Paint party!
- You're gonna love the paint.
1636
01:10:31,214 --> 01:10:33,548
- [Laughing]
- [Music playing]
1637
01:10:38,087 --> 01:10:40,288
Billy!
Great night last night, huh?
1638
01:10:40,323 --> 01:10:42,034
Yeah, it was fucking great.
1639
01:10:42,058 --> 01:10:44,726
Ooh, ouch. What's his problem?
1640
01:10:44,761 --> 01:10:46,071
I don't know,
I don't remember a thing
1641
01:10:46,095 --> 01:10:47,529
from last night.
1642
01:10:47,564 --> 01:10:49,308
And I got a serious wangover, man.
1643
01:10:49,332 --> 01:10:51,143
Well, that sounds like
you blacked out.
1644
01:10:51,167 --> 01:10:52,177
- Yeah?
- Nicely done.
1645
01:10:52,201 --> 01:10:53,245
- Thanks.
- Ready for today?
1646
01:10:53,269 --> 01:10:54,269
You kidding me?
1647
01:10:54,304 --> 01:10:57,805
I'm just getting started.
1648
01:10:57,840 --> 01:11:00,675
- How you feel?
- You're making a right, baby.
1649
01:11:00,710 --> 01:11:02,844
A living legend.
1650
01:11:02,879 --> 01:11:04,123
- Hello, ladies.
- Hey, baby.
1651
01:11:04,147 --> 01:11:06,014
Hey, there.
1652
01:11:06,049 --> 01:11:08,049
- [Woman] Hi.
- Hey, there.
1653
01:11:08,084 --> 01:11:10,252
[All chattering]
1654
01:11:18,027 --> 01:11:19,961
Here you are, Dean Kravitz.
1655
01:11:19,996 --> 01:11:22,130
Those are the 12 bid cards
1656
01:11:22,165 --> 01:11:24,125
which makes 15 members
as requested.
1657
01:11:27,704 --> 01:11:29,114
Well, you're quite proud
of yourself,
1658
01:11:29,138 --> 01:11:31,272
- aren't you, Charlie?
- Yes sir, I am.
1659
01:11:31,307 --> 01:11:34,776
Good. Well, let me ask you
something.
1660
01:11:34,811 --> 01:11:37,812
- Are you proud of this?
- [Music playing]
1661
01:11:41,618 --> 01:11:42,784
Is that me?
1662
01:11:44,754 --> 01:11:47,088
Holy shit, that's me.
1663
01:11:47,123 --> 01:11:50,058
Holy shit, dude.
That's Tanya tata's video.
1664
01:11:50,093 --> 01:11:51,870
You're banging Tanya tata's.
1665
01:11:51,894 --> 01:11:53,939
That's the hottest porn star
in the game right now.
1666
01:11:53,963 --> 01:11:57,003
- How come I don't remember that?
- You blacked out, remember?
1667
01:11:58,301 --> 01:12:00,602
Being blackout drunk
doesn't exactly
1668
01:12:00,637 --> 01:12:02,314
strengthen your case, asshole.
1669
01:12:02,338 --> 01:12:04,339
Okay, Dean Kravitz, but, I mean,
1670
01:12:04,374 --> 01:12:06,285
this is just a video
of a college kid having sex,
1671
01:12:06,309 --> 01:12:07,653
that's not a big deal, right?
1672
01:12:07,677 --> 01:12:10,979
Oh, it's not a big deal,
Charlie.
1673
01:12:11,014 --> 01:12:15,617
It's a very big deal.
1674
01:12:15,652 --> 01:12:19,654
The Dean is a small dick weasel.
1675
01:12:19,689 --> 01:12:22,123
[Laughing]
1676
01:12:22,158 --> 01:12:23,825
Oh, shit.
1677
01:12:23,860 --> 01:12:25,793
Am I a small dick weasel,
Charlie?
1678
01:12:25,828 --> 01:12:27,328
No, sir.
1679
01:12:27,363 --> 01:12:29,675
- Is that what you think of me?
- No, sir.
1680
01:12:29,699 --> 01:12:31,977
I went out on a limb for you,
you stupid little shithead.
1681
01:12:32,001 --> 01:12:34,068
And this is how you repay me?
1682
01:12:34,103 --> 01:12:35,881
Look, Dean,
somebody's obviously trying
1683
01:12:35,905 --> 01:12:37,349
to sabotage us here,
I would never...
1684
01:12:37,373 --> 01:12:40,675
This video was sent to every
single person on campus!
1685
01:12:40,710 --> 01:12:43,044
You know what that means?
1686
01:12:43,079 --> 01:12:44,345
It means from now on
1687
01:12:44,380 --> 01:12:45,791
I'm not gonna be known
as the Dean
1688
01:12:45,815 --> 01:12:47,760
with the many
academic accomplishments
1689
01:12:47,784 --> 01:12:48,950
or civil war reenactments.
1690
01:12:48,985 --> 01:12:50,418
No, I'm gonna be known as
1691
01:12:50,453 --> 01:12:54,656
the Dean with the small
weasel size dick!
1692
01:12:54,691 --> 01:12:58,259
- But sir, I'm telling...
- No buts, Charlie!
1693
01:12:58,294 --> 01:13:00,406
One of the conditions
of you getting your house back
1694
01:13:00,430 --> 01:13:02,930
was to always represent
the school
1695
01:13:02,965 --> 01:13:04,666
in a positive light.
1696
01:13:04,701 --> 01:13:06,245
- Do you remember that?
- Yes, sir.
1697
01:13:06,269 --> 01:13:08,429
Well, this video sure as shit
doesn't do that.
1698
01:13:10,773 --> 01:13:13,875
Request for reinstatement
denied.
1699
01:13:13,910 --> 01:13:14,942
Dean, please.
1700
01:13:14,977 --> 01:13:18,312
Vacate Alpha house now.
1701
01:13:18,347 --> 01:13:20,815
Vacate the house...
1702
01:13:20,850 --> 01:13:23,018
Vacate the house now.
1703
01:13:27,724 --> 01:13:29,234
Guys, don't you see
I didn't do it?
1704
01:13:29,258 --> 01:13:30,758
Well, from what I saw,
1705
01:13:30,793 --> 01:13:32,304
you were pretty much balls deep
1706
01:13:32,328 --> 01:13:35,930
inside Tanya tata's
which is seriously awesome.
1707
01:13:35,965 --> 01:13:37,810
Then how come
I don't remember it?
1708
01:13:37,834 --> 01:13:39,411
You blacked out, remember?
1709
01:13:39,435 --> 01:13:41,769
Jesus fucking christ.
1710
01:13:41,804 --> 01:13:43,716
You know, I saw you last night
with Becca, Charlie.
1711
01:13:43,740 --> 01:13:45,707
You were gropin' on her titties,
1712
01:13:45,742 --> 01:13:47,252
and then the two of you went off
1713
01:13:47,276 --> 01:13:48,810
into your fucking bedroom
1714
01:13:48,845 --> 01:13:50,823
and she had this
fucking look on her face like,
1715
01:13:50,847 --> 01:13:53,448
"I'm gonna hit his fucking
big ass pretty blonde cock."
1716
01:13:53,483 --> 01:13:55,883
Billy, I would never
do that to you.
1717
01:13:55,918 --> 01:13:57,351
No? 'Cause I got one nut,
1718
01:13:57,386 --> 01:13:58,897
Charlie, I got one fucking nut,
1719
01:13:58,921 --> 01:14:00,121
but I got two eyes,
1720
01:14:00,156 --> 01:14:02,067
and I saw that fucking
hungry ass look
1721
01:14:02,091 --> 01:14:03,235
on her face, she was, like, "oh!"
1722
01:14:03,259 --> 01:14:04,470
I'm gonna get to fucking lick
1723
01:14:04,494 --> 01:14:06,305
Charlie's dangly balls today.
1724
01:14:06,329 --> 01:14:08,796
I'm gonna get his fucking,
sweet beautiful handsome boy
1725
01:14:08,831 --> 01:14:10,109
blonde cock all down my throat.
1726
01:14:10,133 --> 01:14:11,510
That's what's gonna happen.
1727
01:14:11,534 --> 01:14:13,245
And then I'm gonna
get this other bitch
1728
01:14:13,269 --> 01:14:15,114
and she's gonna tongue
his nuts while I fuck him.
1729
01:14:15,138 --> 01:14:16,381
That's what's gonna happen.
1730
01:14:16,405 --> 01:14:17,750
Then we're gonna do butt stuff.
1731
01:14:17,774 --> 01:14:19,140
We're gonna do butt stuff,
1732
01:14:19,175 --> 01:14:20,953
"and Billy's gonna be outside
all by himself."
1733
01:14:20,977 --> 01:14:22,521
Smell that.
What's that smell like?
1734
01:14:22,545 --> 01:14:24,523
Nothin' that's
the fucking problem, Charlie.
1735
01:14:24,547 --> 01:14:28,049
Billy, Billy, don't you see?
1736
01:14:28,084 --> 01:14:29,484
Becca did this.
1737
01:14:29,519 --> 01:14:32,186
She did this, not me.
You just said it.
1738
01:14:32,221 --> 01:14:34,233
You know what?
You're un-fucking-believable.
1739
01:14:34,257 --> 01:14:36,101
There's no conspiracy here,
Charlie.
1740
01:14:36,125 --> 01:14:37,458
You fucked up.
1741
01:14:37,493 --> 01:14:40,294
You destroyed the alphas twice.
1742
01:14:40,329 --> 01:14:43,164
You remember that.
1743
01:14:43,199 --> 01:14:45,032
Billy.
1744
01:14:45,067 --> 01:14:46,345
- Billy!
- Let's go, noz.
1745
01:14:46,369 --> 01:14:49,771
Sorry, Charlie. Tanya tata's.
1746
01:15:04,120 --> 01:15:05,898
[Aj] All right, boys,
we're gonna fuck
1747
01:15:05,922 --> 01:15:07,566
-so much tail in this place.
- Back the fuck away
1748
01:15:07,590 --> 01:15:09,268
from the perimeter,
I got zips in the wire.
1749
01:15:09,292 --> 01:15:10,369
- Zips in the wire.
- [Laughs]
1750
01:15:10,393 --> 01:15:11,970
Is this guy fucking serious?
1751
01:15:11,994 --> 01:15:13,939
Hey, why don't you
and your backup dancers
1752
01:15:13,963 --> 01:15:16,008
-keep on walkin'... -Hey, are
you off your fucking meds
1753
01:15:16,032 --> 01:15:17,843
or something,
get the fuck off my porch.
1754
01:15:17,867 --> 01:15:19,878
Medication's for pussies, bitch!
Don't fuck with me.
1755
01:15:19,902 --> 01:15:22,247
- Holy... what do you feed this piece of shit?
- Stand down, sarge.
1756
01:15:22,271 --> 01:15:23,816
- Battle's lost.
- Thanks, Charlie.
1757
01:15:23,840 --> 01:15:25,973
Exactly what he said.
Stand the fuck down.
1758
01:15:26,008 --> 01:15:27,820
All right, buddy.
Go get laid maybe.
1759
01:15:27,844 --> 01:15:29,110
Fucking loosen up a bit.
1760
01:15:29,145 --> 01:15:30,556
Jesus christ.
Are you kidding me?
1761
01:15:30,580 --> 01:15:32,013
All right, boys.
1762
01:15:32,048 --> 01:15:33,358
I want you to take
these letters down
1763
01:15:33,382 --> 01:15:34,893
and clean up all this shit.
1764
01:15:34,917 --> 01:15:36,918
Boys, welcome
to the new Kappa Nu!
1765
01:15:36,953 --> 01:15:38,353
[Cheering]
1766
01:15:51,167 --> 01:15:52,467
[Phone buzzing]
1767
01:16:05,648 --> 01:16:09,284
Son of a bitch. Son of a bitch.
1768
01:16:12,955 --> 01:16:16,090
Aw, yes! Yes!
1769
01:16:16,125 --> 01:16:19,961
I got 99 problems
but a blank ain't one.
1770
01:16:19,996 --> 01:16:22,063
Spectacular abs.
1771
01:16:22,098 --> 01:16:24,332
Morgan Freeman's voice.
1772
01:16:24,367 --> 01:16:27,602
Three dicks at the same time.
1773
01:16:27,637 --> 01:16:30,471
Okay, hold on,
you got 99 problems,
1774
01:16:30,506 --> 01:16:32,084
but three dicks at the same time
1775
01:16:32,108 --> 01:16:34,141
ain't one of 'em.
1776
01:16:34,176 --> 01:16:37,144
I don't understand this game.
1777
01:16:37,179 --> 01:16:38,880
This sucks.
1778
01:16:40,549 --> 01:16:42,617
- At least we're all together.
- Hmm, yeah.
1779
01:16:42,652 --> 01:16:44,118
Yeah, we're all together.
1780
01:16:44,153 --> 01:16:45,993
In the fuckin' student lounge!
1781
01:16:46,022 --> 01:16:48,489
With the fuckin'
loners and stoners,
1782
01:16:48,524 --> 01:16:50,992
and the fuckin' asians!
1783
01:16:51,027 --> 01:16:52,560
And the god damn
1784
01:16:52,595 --> 01:16:55,496
- "Lord of the Rings" fuckin' nerds!
- Yes!
1785
01:16:55,531 --> 01:16:57,376
Actually, they're playing
"game of thrones."
1786
01:16:57,400 --> 01:16:59,600
Yeah, what a bunch
of fuckin' boners, man.
1787
01:16:59,635 --> 01:17:01,969
- More like throners.
- I swear to god, Jonesy,
1788
01:17:02,004 --> 01:17:04,205
I will fuckin' murder you.
1789
01:17:04,240 --> 01:17:07,141
Shut your faceholes,
you god damn crybabies.
1790
01:17:07,176 --> 01:17:09,644
We may have lost our house,
1791
01:17:09,679 --> 01:17:13,180
that does not mean
we have to lose our hope.
1792
01:17:13,215 --> 01:17:15,082
Because a fraternity
1793
01:17:15,117 --> 01:17:18,085
is not the only way that men
on this campus can connect.
1794
01:17:18,120 --> 01:17:21,088
Are you saying,
we should go gay?
1795
01:17:21,123 --> 01:17:23,491
No, douche, you fucking idiot.
1796
01:17:23,526 --> 01:17:25,537
I'm saying we should join
the Mason-Dixon reserve
1797
01:17:25,561 --> 01:17:26,661
officer training corp.
1798
01:17:26,696 --> 01:17:29,597
Boys, meet captain griffin.
1799
01:17:29,632 --> 01:17:31,299
Atten-hut.
1800
01:17:34,170 --> 01:17:35,570
[Passing gas]
1801
01:17:37,540 --> 01:17:39,140
Sarge,
1802
01:17:39,175 --> 01:17:42,977
the rotc prides itself
1803
01:17:43,012 --> 01:17:46,580
in taking fat, lazy,
gutless deadbeats,
1804
01:17:46,615 --> 01:17:48,549
and turns 'em into men!
1805
01:17:51,253 --> 01:17:53,721
This is the sorriest case
of sad sacks
1806
01:17:53,756 --> 01:17:55,589
that I have ever seen!
1807
01:17:55,624 --> 01:17:59,126
- Jesus.
- I'm sorry.
1808
01:17:59,161 --> 01:18:01,062
But these fucktards,
1809
01:18:01,097 --> 01:18:02,497
they're hopeless.
1810
01:18:04,633 --> 01:18:06,267
Good luck, sarge.
1811
01:18:10,272 --> 01:18:11,672
Sweet Jesus.
1812
01:18:11,707 --> 01:18:14,175
We can't even get
into fuckin' rotc.
1813
01:18:16,779 --> 01:18:18,112
What was that about?
1814
01:18:20,649 --> 01:18:21,983
Guys.
1815
01:18:24,286 --> 01:18:27,621
I'm sorry, Charlie, but we
don't talk to traitors here.
1816
01:18:27,656 --> 01:18:30,091
Or people who betray us.
1817
01:18:30,126 --> 01:18:34,695
- Wow. You too, douche.
- It's Mr. nozzle to you.
1818
01:18:34,730 --> 01:18:36,430
Listen to me, Charlie.
1819
01:18:36,465 --> 01:18:39,266
You lost our house
for the second time,
1820
01:18:39,301 --> 01:18:43,270
of course, I'm gonna be
a little upset about it.
1821
01:18:43,305 --> 01:18:45,439
That house was my life, okay?
1822
01:18:45,474 --> 01:18:47,319
That... that was all
of our lives.
1823
01:18:47,343 --> 01:18:48,587
I mean, just look
at poor douche,
1824
01:18:48,611 --> 01:18:50,077
look at him now.
1825
01:18:50,112 --> 01:18:51,556
- He looks exactly the same.
- Yeah,
1826
01:18:51,580 --> 01:18:53,581
because we're that
fucking pathetic.
1827
01:18:53,616 --> 01:18:55,761
- Doesn't get much worse than that.
- Thank you, Billy.
1828
01:18:55,785 --> 01:18:57,752
Look, Billy, I'm sorry, okay,
1829
01:18:57,787 --> 01:18:59,664
but I just came
from Van dyke's house
1830
01:18:59,688 --> 01:19:03,057
- and I got a way to get the house back.
- No, you're not
1831
01:19:03,092 --> 01:19:05,559
gonna be able to fool me
with that bullshit again.
1832
01:19:05,594 --> 01:19:08,707
Billy, I know you're pissed and
you... god damn it, you should be,
1833
01:19:08,731 --> 01:19:10,642
- but just give me one more chance.
- No, no, no, no!
1834
01:19:10,666 --> 01:19:12,077
You don't get another chance.
1835
01:19:12,101 --> 01:19:13,478
All right, you had
a second chance
1836
01:19:13,502 --> 01:19:16,470
- and you blew it, you understand?
- Yeah.
1837
01:19:16,505 --> 01:19:18,472
Hey, I made some
mistakes, Billy.
1838
01:19:18,507 --> 01:19:20,419
And we've all made
some mistakes, even you.
1839
01:19:20,443 --> 01:19:21,586
But god damn it, we're brothers
1840
01:19:21,610 --> 01:19:24,645
and brothers forgive.
1841
01:19:24,680 --> 01:19:27,581
Now, I never told you this,
but it was my dad's dream
1842
01:19:27,616 --> 01:19:29,784
that I would become
more than his son some day.
1843
01:19:29,819 --> 01:19:31,786
I would become his brother.
1844
01:19:31,821 --> 01:19:33,698
And I know he's not here,
but god damn it,
1845
01:19:33,722 --> 01:19:35,767
I know he would be proud
to see his brothers forgive
1846
01:19:35,791 --> 01:19:38,092
and unite.
1847
01:19:38,127 --> 01:19:40,261
Billy, I'm begging you.
1848
01:19:46,402 --> 01:19:50,571
Wow, that was quite
a speech there, Dr. king.
1849
01:19:50,606 --> 01:19:52,284
I mean, you know what,
the dream is dead.
1850
01:19:52,308 --> 01:19:55,543
So, why don't you
just hit the bricks?
1851
01:19:55,578 --> 01:19:57,498
You know,
get the fuck out of here.
1852
01:20:06,255 --> 01:20:08,175
No, you stay right there,
Charlie.
1853
01:20:11,427 --> 01:20:13,494
I say we give Charlie
another chance.
1854
01:20:13,529 --> 01:20:16,097
Nope, nope, absolutely...
Yep, yeah.
1855
01:20:16,132 --> 01:20:18,766
[Clears throat] Me, too.
1856
01:20:18,801 --> 01:20:20,468
I concur.
1857
01:20:20,503 --> 01:20:21,713
I don't know
what that word means,
1858
01:20:21,737 --> 01:20:24,338
but I'm with sarge and Zack.
1859
01:20:26,742 --> 01:20:28,209
Billy.
1860
01:20:29,879 --> 01:20:32,447
I am truly, truly sorry.
1861
01:20:33,816 --> 01:20:35,616
But god damn it, I need you.
1862
01:20:45,594 --> 01:20:47,795
You're a son of a bitch,
Charlie Martin.
1863
01:20:47,830 --> 01:20:50,264
- I agree.
- All right.
1864
01:20:50,299 --> 01:20:52,166
All right, all right.
1865
01:20:52,201 --> 01:20:55,202
So, you got a way
to get our house back.
1866
01:20:55,237 --> 01:20:56,877
I got a way. Boys...
1867
01:20:58,440 --> 01:20:59,674
Check this out.
1868
01:21:01,677 --> 01:21:04,411
What the... holy shit.
1869
01:21:04,446 --> 01:21:07,148
- Sick.
- Holy sheep shit.
1870
01:21:12,788 --> 01:21:14,348
[Charlie] Katie!
1871
01:21:16,292 --> 01:21:19,160
By now I'm sure
you've seen the sex tape.
1872
01:21:20,596 --> 01:21:21,907
But it wasn't me,
I swear to god,
1873
01:21:21,931 --> 01:21:24,431
it was not me.
1874
01:21:24,466 --> 01:21:26,178
I mean, technically, it was me,
1875
01:21:26,202 --> 01:21:28,469
but I was setup.
1876
01:21:28,504 --> 01:21:31,705
Look, I got one last chance
to make this thing right,
1877
01:21:31,740 --> 01:21:34,208
and when it's all said and done,
1878
01:21:34,243 --> 01:21:36,210
I hope that includes you, too.
1879
01:21:39,448 --> 01:21:42,616
I gotta go, uh...
1880
01:21:42,651 --> 01:21:45,653
To be continued, I hope.
1881
01:22:24,393 --> 01:22:26,961
How many condoms does she need?
1882
01:22:31,867 --> 01:22:33,634
Un-fucking-believable.
1883
01:22:42,378 --> 01:22:44,511
[People clapping]
1884
01:22:44,546 --> 01:22:47,581
Hey, hey, hey,
you hold it right there,
1885
01:22:47,616 --> 01:22:48,816
Bob the fuckin' builder.
1886
01:22:48,851 --> 01:22:50,818
Oh, look everyone.
It's the geeds.
1887
01:22:50,853 --> 01:22:52,664
Shouldn't you guys
be on a park bench somewhere
1888
01:22:52,688 --> 01:22:54,532
- jerking each other off?
- You know what, AJ?
1889
01:22:54,556 --> 01:22:56,468
You might've think that
you've won, but reality,
1890
01:22:56,492 --> 01:22:57,869
you're a load that your mother
1891
01:22:57,893 --> 01:22:59,638
shoulda swallowed,
and believe me when I say
1892
01:22:59,662 --> 01:23:01,528
she can fuckin' swallow.
1893
01:23:01,563 --> 01:23:02,974
This coming from
a fucking homeless guy
1894
01:23:02,998 --> 01:23:04,365
on my new steps.
1895
01:23:04,400 --> 01:23:05,777
Face it, guys. You fucking lost.
1896
01:23:05,801 --> 01:23:08,636
Take your fucking filthy paws
off that letter.
1897
01:23:08,671 --> 01:23:10,649
- This letter? -Yeah, that...
Oh, you're so strong.
1898
01:23:10,673 --> 01:23:12,951
- That fucking letter?
- Don't you fucking touch that a-hole!
1899
01:23:12,975 --> 01:23:16,277
Who the fuck's
gonna stop me, man? You?
1900
01:23:16,312 --> 01:23:17,789
[Charlie] We will.
1901
01:23:17,813 --> 01:23:20,481
This fucking guy again?
1902
01:23:21,884 --> 01:23:23,417
Is that the Dean?
1903
01:23:23,452 --> 01:23:26,920
People, we have proof
that we were setup.
1904
01:23:26,955 --> 01:23:28,600
- [Woman] What?
- You see,
1905
01:23:28,624 --> 01:23:30,869
- bullshit.
- We set cameras all over our house
1906
01:23:30,893 --> 01:23:33,327
in order to capture
some memorable moments,
1907
01:23:33,362 --> 01:23:34,995
but in the process,
1908
01:23:35,030 --> 01:23:37,042
- we caught something else.
- [Clears throat] Herpes!
1909
01:23:37,066 --> 01:23:39,400
Hey, I haven't had
a fucking outbreak in weeks.
1910
01:23:39,435 --> 01:23:42,069
Mind your god damn business,
sons of bitches.
1911
01:23:42,104 --> 01:23:43,982
Douchenozzle, if you will
do the honors, please.
1912
01:23:44,006 --> 01:23:45,383
I can guarantee you those words
1913
01:23:45,407 --> 01:23:46,751
have never been spoken before.
1914
01:23:46,775 --> 01:23:48,753
- You got it, Charlie.
- [Becca] Damn, girl.
1915
01:23:48,777 --> 01:23:50,889
Yeah, girl, you're an animal.
You're an animal!
1916
01:23:50,913 --> 01:23:53,013
- [Charlie] Animal!
- You have energy!
1917
01:23:53,048 --> 01:23:54,626
- [Tanya moaning]
- Paint party!
1918
01:23:54,650 --> 01:23:56,583
[Becca] Are you seeing this, AJ?
1919
01:23:56,618 --> 01:23:57,818
Come on, actual animal.
1920
01:23:57,853 --> 01:23:59,431
Come on,
shake those tatas, girl.
1921
01:23:59,455 --> 01:24:00,587
Let's go, let's go, yeah.
1922
01:24:00,622 --> 01:24:01,833
Hair back, hair back, [Growls].
1923
01:24:01,857 --> 01:24:04,425
You heartless little strumpet!
1924
01:24:04,460 --> 01:24:06,037
- Wait... what this?
- [Scoffs]
1925
01:24:06,061 --> 01:24:07,772
All this proves
is she's a voyeuristic slut
1926
01:24:07,796 --> 01:24:09,407
with some kind of fucking
rodent fetish.
1927
01:24:09,431 --> 01:24:11,609
- Yeah. -How in any
way does this prove
1928
01:24:11,633 --> 01:24:15,703
-that he's not willing to do this shit?
-[Katie] I'll tell you how.
1929
01:24:15,738 --> 01:24:17,682
- And what the fuck is that?
- The reason that Charlie
1930
01:24:17,706 --> 01:24:20,341
doesn't remember having sex
is because he didn't.
1931
01:24:20,376 --> 01:24:22,609
Well, willingly anyway.
1932
01:24:22,644 --> 01:24:23,988
I dug around in Becca's room
1933
01:24:24,012 --> 01:24:25,790
- and I found this.
- That's bullshit.
1934
01:24:25,814 --> 01:24:28,682
Don't listen to her.
She's just a pathetic loser.
1935
01:24:28,717 --> 01:24:29,983
It's vitamin k.
1936
01:24:30,018 --> 01:24:31,629
It has the same effect
as a roofie
1937
01:24:31,653 --> 01:24:33,754
only ten times more powerful.
1938
01:24:33,789 --> 01:24:37,758
So, I'm a casual drug user.
Big deal.
1939
01:24:37,793 --> 01:24:38,959
Becca dosed Charlie
1940
01:24:38,994 --> 01:24:40,138
and then she paid the porn star
1941
01:24:40,162 --> 01:24:41,762
to have sex with him.
1942
01:24:41,797 --> 01:24:43,475
I... i don't know
what she's talking about.
1943
01:24:43,499 --> 01:24:45,566
The bitch is clearly an idiot.
1944
01:24:45,601 --> 01:24:47,645
I just... you know what... no...
I mean, she just plotted...
1945
01:24:47,669 --> 01:24:50,704
- Shut up, Becca!
- [Crowd groans]
1946
01:24:50,739 --> 01:24:52,906
Fuck, yeah, sis,
right in the mud flaps.
1947
01:24:52,941 --> 01:24:54,541
Also, Dean Kravitz,
1948
01:24:54,576 --> 01:24:55,976
it was AJ and Kappa Nu
1949
01:24:56,011 --> 01:24:58,379
who sabotaged the fireworks
three years ago.
1950
01:24:58,414 --> 01:24:59,791
They're the ones
who are responsible,
1951
01:24:59,815 --> 01:25:01,659
and the alphas
had nothing to do with it.
1952
01:25:01,683 --> 01:25:04,085
And I know this
because I helped them do it.
1953
01:25:06,889 --> 01:25:09,056
I'm so sorry, Charlie.
1954
01:25:10,492 --> 01:25:11,959
Dean Kravitz,
1955
01:25:11,994 --> 01:25:13,060
you're not buying
1956
01:25:13,095 --> 01:25:14,506
this fucking bullshit, are you?
1957
01:25:14,530 --> 01:25:17,564
Actually, AJ, I am.
1958
01:25:17,599 --> 01:25:20,901
- [All groaning]
- What?
1959
01:25:20,936 --> 01:25:24,471
- I hereby declare Alpha house...
- No! This is my house!
1960
01:25:24,506 --> 01:25:26,050
- This is my house!
- I'm gonna whoop his ass.
1961
01:25:26,074 --> 01:25:27,585
- No, no, no, he's mine.
- No, come on.
1962
01:25:27,609 --> 01:25:29,087
I know you're prettier than me,
1963
01:25:29,111 --> 01:25:30,722
-but I'm stronger than you are.
- Yeah.
1964
01:25:30,746 --> 01:25:31,812
[Groans]
1965
01:25:31,847 --> 01:25:34,982
- I'm sorry.
- Ooh!
1966
01:25:35,017 --> 01:25:37,084
Aj? [Groans] Shit!
1967
01:25:37,119 --> 01:25:39,931
- Welcome to Kappa Nu, bitch!
- Fucking asshole, just give it up...
1968
01:25:39,955 --> 01:25:41,922
- [Groaning continues]
- What?
1969
01:25:41,957 --> 01:25:44,024
- Come here!
- Get off me!
1970
01:25:46,061 --> 01:25:47,739
- Fuck you!
- Hey, get back here!
1971
01:25:47,763 --> 01:25:50,197
You fucking pussy! Fuck you!
1972
01:25:50,232 --> 01:25:52,633
[All grunting]
1973
01:25:52,668 --> 01:25:54,579
That was like less harder
than the last time.
1974
01:25:54,603 --> 01:25:56,537
- A-oh!
- [Groans]
1975
01:25:59,875 --> 01:26:02,209
Fuck, my ass! Oh, shit!
1976
01:26:02,244 --> 01:26:04,845
- Ball check.
- [Groans]
1977
01:26:07,249 --> 01:26:10,017
[Screams]
1978
01:26:10,052 --> 01:26:11,496
- Fuck your ass.
- Fuck my ass.
1979
01:26:11,520 --> 01:26:13,721
- My fucking foot!
- My ass!
1980
01:26:15,791 --> 01:26:17,691
Ah, fuck!
1981
01:26:17,726 --> 01:26:19,237
Okay, last time, let's go!
1982
01:26:19,261 --> 01:26:22,996
- One, two, three.
- [Grunting continues]
1983
01:26:23,031 --> 01:26:26,066
Ah, shit!
Boy, that was uneventful.
1984
01:26:26,101 --> 01:26:29,136
- [Clicking sound]
- Oh...
1985
01:26:31,773 --> 01:26:33,541
You can thank me later.
1986
01:26:34,943 --> 01:26:37,911
All right, sarge,
guard the perimeter.
1987
01:26:37,946 --> 01:26:39,580
Oh, fuck yeah!
1988
01:26:39,615 --> 01:26:42,082
- Fuck!
- Fuck your foot.
1989
01:26:42,117 --> 01:26:44,185
[Gasping]
1990
01:26:48,023 --> 01:26:49,189
You know what?
1991
01:26:49,224 --> 01:26:51,002
Fuck your fucking legacy, bitch!
1992
01:26:51,026 --> 01:26:53,160
- Get out of my house!
- [Screaming continues]
1993
01:26:53,195 --> 01:26:55,028
Oh, shit!
1994
01:26:55,063 --> 01:26:57,698
- [Both screaming]
- [Becca] Holy shit!
1995
01:27:00,636 --> 01:27:02,603
- [Becca] Aj?
- You all right, bro?
1996
01:27:08,810 --> 01:27:09,977
Dude.
1997
01:27:14,650 --> 01:27:16,617
[Crowd cheering]
1998
01:27:16,652 --> 01:27:20,521
Holy fuck, that was awesome!
1999
01:27:20,556 --> 01:27:21,855
That's enough!
2000
01:27:21,890 --> 01:27:23,635
I'm putting a stop
to it right now!
2001
01:27:23,659 --> 01:27:25,025
Kappa Nu hangers
2002
01:27:25,060 --> 01:27:26,971
are endangering the lives
of everyone here!
2003
01:27:26,995 --> 01:27:28,762
[Billy] Come here, Charlie.
2004
01:27:28,797 --> 01:27:30,542
I've decided
to officially reinstate
2005
01:27:30,566 --> 01:27:32,599
Alpha Chi Gamma.
2006
01:27:32,634 --> 01:27:35,102
[Cheering continues]
2007
01:27:35,137 --> 01:27:38,072
It's gonna be good.
It's gonna be good.
2008
01:27:39,775 --> 01:27:43,110
And, AJ, as for you,
you're seriously fucked!
2009
01:27:47,683 --> 01:27:49,193
- Are you all right, Charlie?
- I don't know.
2010
01:27:49,217 --> 01:27:52,052
I think I may have broke my ass.
2011
01:27:52,087 --> 01:27:55,089
Does this mean all is forgiven?
2012
01:27:58,994 --> 01:28:00,094
Oh, take it, Charlie.
2013
01:28:01,964 --> 01:28:04,242
[Charlie narrating] For the
alphas and yours truly,
2014
01:28:04,266 --> 01:28:05,632
it was a storybook ending.
2015
01:28:05,667 --> 01:28:08,936
For AJ and Kappa Nu,
not so much.
2016
01:28:08,971 --> 01:28:10,811
Aj suffered several broken ribs
2017
01:28:10,839 --> 01:28:12,306
but recovered just fine.
2018
01:28:12,341 --> 01:28:14,641
The damage to his reputation,
however,
2019
01:28:14,676 --> 01:28:16,043
was beyond repair.
2020
01:28:16,078 --> 01:28:17,689
I hear he's
at a community college now,
2021
01:28:17,713 --> 01:28:19,757
and the closest he gets
to Greek life these days
2022
01:28:19,781 --> 01:28:21,626
is souvlaki night
at the cafeteria.
2023
01:28:21,650 --> 01:28:24,818
♪ It's time to forget about it ♪
2024
01:28:24,853 --> 01:28:26,787
[Vocalizing]
2025
01:28:28,790 --> 01:28:31,758
♪ It's time to forget about it ♪
2026
01:28:31,793 --> 01:28:33,938
[Charlie] Becca served 50
hours of community service
2027
01:28:33,962 --> 01:28:36,930
with Tanya tatas for illegal
drug distribution.
2028
01:28:36,965 --> 01:28:40,033
She is now her onset
personal fluffer.
2029
01:28:40,068 --> 01:28:42,102
Jonesy got vc money
to start a company
2030
01:28:42,137 --> 01:28:44,071
that converts vaginal discharge
2031
01:28:44,106 --> 01:28:45,806
into renewable energy.
2032
01:28:45,841 --> 01:28:47,874
And douche
has new found confidence
2033
01:28:47,909 --> 01:28:49,654
after creating
a first person shooter game
2034
01:28:49,678 --> 01:28:51,812
called "monsoon the poon."
2035
01:28:53,415 --> 01:28:55,126
And Billy made honor roll
2036
01:28:55,150 --> 01:28:56,917
and was accepted to mit.
2037
01:28:58,153 --> 01:28:59,664
[Laughs] Just kidding.
2038
01:28:59,688 --> 01:29:01,888
He's doing a victory lap
at Mason-Dixon.
2039
01:29:01,923 --> 01:29:04,925
He's now dating ten's
and doing lots of butt stuff.
2040
01:29:04,960 --> 01:29:06,293
♪ Don't ask no questions ♪
2041
01:29:06,328 --> 01:29:10,297
♪ It's time to forget about it ♪
2042
01:29:10,332 --> 01:29:11,899
[Vocalizing continues]
2043
01:29:13,769 --> 01:29:15,213
[Charlie]
And me, I got to be the Alpha
2044
01:29:15,237 --> 01:29:16,737
I always dreamed of,
2045
01:29:16,772 --> 01:29:18,071
but more importantly,
2046
01:29:18,106 --> 01:29:20,807
I got katie and brotherhood.
2047
01:29:20,842 --> 01:29:22,120
I also got crabs
from Tanya tatas
2048
01:29:22,144 --> 01:29:23,677
but, hey, that's life
2049
01:29:23,712 --> 01:29:25,712
when you're
a motherfucking frat star.
2050
01:29:29,017 --> 01:29:29,983
[Music playing]
2051
01:29:30,018 --> 01:29:31,685
♪ I can see sky ♪
2052
01:29:31,720 --> 01:29:34,321
♪ I wanna see the world ♪
2053
01:29:34,356 --> 01:29:36,990
♪ The bus doesn't stop here ♪
2054
01:29:37,025 --> 01:29:42,696
♪ I wanna celebrate every day ♪
2055
01:29:42,731 --> 01:29:44,898
♪ Yes, I want it all ♪
2056
01:29:44,933 --> 01:29:47,401
♪ Success doesn't stop here ♪
2057
01:29:47,436 --> 01:29:52,339
♪ And I enjoy it all every day ♪
2058
01:29:52,374 --> 01:29:54,875
♪ Took care of my business,
feeling so surreal ♪
2059
01:29:54,910 --> 01:29:56,888
♪ See all my fans smile
on the grill ♪
2060
01:29:56,912 --> 01:29:59,157
♪ 'Cause I came from somewhere
in the middle of nowhere ♪
2061
01:29:59,181 --> 01:30:00,858
♪ I'm a self-made, something ♪
2062
01:30:00,882 --> 01:30:02,727
♪ They said I would be
nothing, self-made ♪
2063
01:30:02,751 --> 01:30:04,051
♪ Now I get self-paid ♪
2064
01:30:04,086 --> 01:30:05,296
♪ Now they say I'm great, hey ♪
2065
01:30:05,320 --> 01:30:06,764
♪ Like we in the 8th grade ♪
2066
01:30:06,788 --> 01:30:07,865
♪ But I've been d's list ♪
2067
01:30:07,889 --> 01:30:09,289
♪ Since I was a shorty ♪
2068
01:30:09,324 --> 01:30:11,202
♪ Bring the heat
like I lit a soufflé ♪
2069
01:30:11,226 --> 01:30:12,470
♪ Hit me with your toupee ♪
2070
01:30:12,494 --> 01:30:13,838
♪ Not satisfied with average ♪
2071
01:30:13,862 --> 01:30:15,062
♪ I'm beyond it ♪
2072
01:30:15,097 --> 01:30:16,140
♪ You'll see my brightness ♪
2073
01:30:16,164 --> 01:30:17,764
♪ That's beyond me ♪
2074
01:30:17,799 --> 01:30:19,310
♪ I'mma make it
over those hardships ♪
2075
01:30:19,334 --> 01:30:20,945
♪ 'Cause I was born
where they push hard ♪
2076
01:30:20,969 --> 01:30:21,935
♪ Get all the cash ♪
2077
01:30:21,970 --> 01:30:23,370
♪ Get all of my chips ♪
2078
01:30:23,405 --> 01:30:25,283
♪ Thank god,
that's all I can say ♪
2079
01:30:25,307 --> 01:30:26,417
♪ When I look at my make, ♪
2080
01:30:26,441 --> 01:30:27,974
♪ My whip, my grind ♪
2081
01:30:28,009 --> 01:30:29,053
♪ Now it's time that I climb ♪
2082
01:30:29,077 --> 01:30:30,043
♪ Up the ladder, y'all ♪
2083
01:30:30,078 --> 01:30:31,278
♪ This way ♪
2084
01:30:31,313 --> 01:30:32,279
♪ Go be great and get high ♪
2085
01:30:32,314 --> 01:30:33,847
♪ Go high up, sky ♪
2086
01:30:33,882 --> 01:30:36,983
♪ The sky,
I want to see the world ♪
2087
01:30:37,018 --> 01:30:39,453
♪ The bus doesn't stop here ♪
2088
01:30:39,488 --> 01:30:43,890
♪ I wanna celebrate every day ♪
2089
01:30:43,925 --> 01:30:46,093
[Music continues]
2090
01:30:48,096 --> 01:30:50,041
- ♪ Break on 'em, saying ♪
- ♪ the sky ♪
2091
01:30:50,065 --> 01:30:52,365
♪ I wanna see the world ♪
2092
01:30:52,400 --> 01:30:55,135
♪ The bus doesn't stop here ♪
2093
01:30:55,170 --> 01:31:00,807
♪ I wanna celebrate every day ♪
2094
01:31:00,842 --> 01:31:03,009
♪ Yes, I want it all ♪
2095
01:31:03,044 --> 01:31:05,779
♪ Since this doesn't stop here ♪
2096
01:31:05,814 --> 01:31:10,417
♪ And I'll enjoy it all,
ever day ♪
2097
01:31:12,454 --> 01:31:17,825
♪ last night was so fun
we turned out the crowd ♪
2098
01:31:19,494 --> 01:31:21,962
♪ Hey, cute girls, bright hot ♪
2099
01:31:21,997 --> 01:31:26,433
♪ Think my girls
are out of town ♪
2100
01:31:26,468 --> 01:31:27,768
♪ Hey ♪
2101
01:31:27,803 --> 01:31:29,903
♪ I'm turned up tonight ♪
2102
01:31:29,938 --> 01:31:31,772
♪ Have fun tonight ♪
2103
01:31:31,807 --> 01:31:33,540
♪ We livin' life ♪
2104
01:31:33,575 --> 01:31:35,408
♪ We came to party ♪
2105
01:31:35,443 --> 01:31:37,277
♪ I got no shame ♪
2106
01:31:37,312 --> 01:31:39,045
♪ No ring on me ♪
2107
01:31:39,080 --> 01:31:40,781
♪ And I came to play ♪
2108
01:31:40,816 --> 01:31:44,184
♪ Play, tonight
I'm gonna get fucked up ♪
2109
01:31:44,219 --> 01:31:47,187
♪ Pass out until I wake up ♪
2110
01:31:47,222 --> 01:31:50,090
♪ Then, then, do it all again ♪
2111
01:31:50,125 --> 01:31:51,558
♪ Get fucked up ♪
2112
01:31:51,593 --> 01:31:54,561
♪ Pass out until I wake up ♪
2113
01:31:54,596 --> 01:31:57,397
♪ Then, then, do it all again ♪
2114
01:31:57,432 --> 01:31:58,398
♪ Again ♪
2115
01:31:58,433 --> 01:32:00,033
[Music playing]
2116
01:32:03,839 --> 01:32:06,540
♪ Do it all again, again ♪
2117
01:32:06,575 --> 01:32:09,442
♪ Tonight
I'm gonna get fucked up ♪
2118
01:32:09,477 --> 01:32:12,379
♪ Pass out until I wake up ♪
2119
01:32:12,414 --> 01:32:15,182
♪ Then, then, do it all again ♪
2120
01:32:15,217 --> 01:32:17,050
♪ Get fucked up ♪
2121
01:32:17,085 --> 01:32:20,020
♪ Pass out until I wake up ♪
2122
01:32:20,055 --> 01:32:22,923
♪ Then, then, do it all again ♪
2123
01:32:22,958 --> 01:32:24,591
♪ Again ♪
2124
01:32:24,626 --> 01:32:26,326
[Music continues]
2125
01:32:29,097 --> 01:32:33,300
♪ Do it all again, again ♪
2126
01:32:33,335 --> 01:32:37,470
♪ Do it all again ♪
2127
01:32:37,505 --> 01:32:39,873
♪ I already had
too many shots, shots ♪
2128
01:32:39,908 --> 01:32:41,285
♪ And I can't even think,
think ♪
2129
01:32:41,309 --> 01:32:42,553
♪ But I don't really
give a damn ♪
2130
01:32:42,577 --> 01:32:44,188
♪ I don't really give a damn ♪
2131
01:32:44,212 --> 01:32:46,023
♪ Pass me another drink,
pass me another drink ♪
2132
01:32:46,047 --> 01:32:47,425
♪ I don't need no chaser,
chaser ♪
2133
01:32:47,449 --> 01:32:49,382
♪ I'm gonna take it
to the head ♪
2134
01:32:49,417 --> 01:32:51,329
♪ I'm gonna take it
to the sheets ♪
2135
01:32:51,353 --> 01:32:53,130
♪ I'm gonna take it
to the bed, god damn ♪
2136
01:32:53,154 --> 01:32:55,155
♪ I'm turned up tonight ♪
2137
01:32:55,190 --> 01:32:57,157
♪ Have fun tonight ♪
2138
01:32:57,192 --> 01:32:59,159
♪ We livin' life ♪
2139
01:32:59,194 --> 01:33:00,861
♪ We came to party ♪
2140
01:33:00,896 --> 01:33:02,529
♪ I got no shame ♪
2141
01:33:02,564 --> 01:33:03,997
♪ No ring on me ♪
2142
01:33:04,032 --> 01:33:06,633
♪ No ♪ - ♪ I came to play ♪
2143
01:33:06,668 --> 01:33:09,469
♪ Tonight
I'm gonna get fucked up ♪
2144
01:33:09,504 --> 01:33:12,405
♪ Pass out until I wake up ♪
2145
01:33:12,440 --> 01:33:15,275
♪ Then, then, do it all again ♪
2146
01:33:15,310 --> 01:33:17,077
♪ Get fucked up ♪
2147
01:33:17,112 --> 01:33:20,046
♪ Pass out until I wake up ♪
2148
01:33:20,081 --> 01:33:22,649
♪ Then, then, do it all again ♪
2149
01:33:22,684 --> 01:33:24,117
♪ Again ♪
2150
01:33:29,124 --> 01:33:33,326
♪ Do it all again, again ♪
2151
01:33:33,361 --> 01:33:38,232
♪ Do it all again ♪
157047
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