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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:36,133 Natasha Nikolaevna. Natasha Nikolaevna. 2 00:00:38,159 --> 00:00:41,163 I'm going. Call the priest. 3 00:00:41,273 --> 00:00:44,333 Get my son-in-law. Hurry! 4 00:00:44,442 --> 00:00:46,342 I must talk to him. 5 00:00:46,444 --> 00:00:49,902 There's something I must tell him before I die. 6 00:00:50,015 --> 00:00:53,143 There, there, Claudia Ivanovna. You will be all right. Just... 7 00:00:55,687 --> 00:00:56,687 Oh. 8 00:00:58,356 --> 00:00:59,556 Kolya! 9 00:01:00,425 --> 00:01:01,625 Kolya! 10 00:01:02,827 --> 00:01:04,027 Kolya! 11 00:01:05,864 --> 00:01:08,230 Kolya, quick. Run to the town hall. 12 00:01:08,333 --> 00:01:10,732 Tell Vorobyaninov his mother-in-law is dying. 13 00:01:10,834 --> 00:01:13,496 Tell him to hurry. I'm going to get the priest. 14 00:01:14,605 --> 00:01:15,605 Oh. 15 00:01:29,384 --> 00:01:32,876 Bozhe moi. That poor woman. 16 00:01:32,988 --> 00:01:34,888 That poor woman. 17 00:01:34,990 --> 00:01:37,220 Who is going to take care of me? 18 00:01:51,272 --> 00:01:55,038 It's in the hands of God now. All we can do is pray. 19 00:01:55,142 --> 00:01:57,110 Thank you for coming, Father. 20 00:01:58,145 --> 00:02:00,045 It was my pleasure. 21 00:02:00,147 --> 00:02:02,342 Go to her. Go to her, my child. 22 00:02:02,450 --> 00:02:04,714 Comfort her. She needs you. 23 00:02:04,819 --> 00:02:06,844 Courage. Courage. 24 00:02:16,464 --> 00:02:18,398 - Father Fyo... - Ooh! 25 00:02:18,499 --> 00:02:19,499 Dor. 26 00:02:20,501 --> 00:02:22,934 She's inside. Not to worry. 27 00:02:23,036 --> 00:02:25,696 I, uh... Courage. 28 00:02:36,514 --> 00:02:37,914 Oh. Oh. 29 00:02:39,317 --> 00:02:41,285 Oh, my dear neighbor. 30 00:02:41,386 --> 00:02:43,286 I'm so glad you're here. 31 00:02:43,388 --> 00:02:45,686 She has been calling for you. 32 00:02:45,790 --> 00:02:47,815 I just saw the priest. 33 00:02:47,925 --> 00:02:50,450 He seemed in a great hurry. 34 00:02:50,561 --> 00:02:53,758 He was very peculiar. Very peculiar. 35 00:02:53,865 --> 00:02:55,833 She just confessed. 36 00:02:56,901 --> 00:02:58,868 How is she? 37 00:02:58,969 --> 00:03:00,960 She is doing splendidly. 38 00:03:01,071 --> 00:03:03,869 The doctor says she'll be on her feet in a week. 39 00:03:03,974 --> 00:03:07,205 She'll be dead before morning. She looks terrible. 40 00:03:07,310 --> 00:03:09,744 I'd better go in. 41 00:03:11,915 --> 00:03:14,850 Ippolit, it's you. You've come. 42 00:03:14,951 --> 00:03:17,751 Yes. I'm here. 43 00:03:18,155 --> 00:03:20,747 - It's me. - Oh, thank God. 44 00:03:20,855 --> 00:03:22,855 Ippolit... 45 00:03:23,358 --> 00:03:26,452 do you remember our dining room suite? 46 00:03:28,530 --> 00:03:31,556 Dining room suite? 47 00:03:31,666 --> 00:03:33,657 In the big house in Stargorod. 48 00:03:34,902 --> 00:03:38,895 - Before the revolution. - Ah, yes. 49 00:03:39,006 --> 00:03:40,974 Beautiful furniture. 50 00:03:41,075 --> 00:03:43,566 Made by Hambs of London. 51 00:03:46,547 --> 00:03:49,880 Ippolit, my jewels. 52 00:03:49,983 --> 00:03:52,383 My diamonds. 53 00:03:52,753 --> 00:03:55,654 I sewed them into one of the chairs. 54 00:03:55,756 --> 00:03:59,157 - What? - My diamonds. My jewels. 55 00:04:01,662 --> 00:04:05,257 I sewed them into one of the chairs. 56 00:04:07,568 --> 00:04:10,662 My gorgeous diamond tiara. 57 00:04:12,238 --> 00:04:15,831 I wore it when I was presented at court. 58 00:04:17,775 --> 00:04:21,711 - My beautiful pearl earrings. - Pearl. 59 00:04:22,947 --> 00:04:26,644 - My emerald brooch. - Emerald. 60 00:04:26,750 --> 00:04:29,742 - My diamond necklace. - Diamond. 61 00:04:29,854 --> 00:04:33,620 The little gold cat with the ruby eyes. 62 00:04:34,792 --> 00:04:36,953 Stuffed in a ch... 63 00:04:37,061 --> 00:04:41,828 How could you do such a thing? 64 00:04:41,932 --> 00:04:44,492 Why didn't you give them to me? 65 00:04:44,602 --> 00:04:46,797 Why should I have given them to you... 66 00:04:46,904 --> 00:04:50,100 when you had already squandered away half my daughter's estate... 67 00:04:50,206 --> 00:04:52,538 with your parties and your horses? 68 00:04:52,642 --> 00:04:55,770 Why didn't you take them out? Why did you leave them there? 69 00:04:55,879 --> 00:04:57,870 I didn't have time! 70 00:04:57,981 --> 00:05:00,745 You remember how quickly we had to flee? 71 00:05:00,850 --> 00:05:02,875 They were left in the chair. 72 00:05:02,986 --> 00:05:06,037 Bozhe moi. 73 00:05:06,137 --> 00:05:08,840 Bozhe moi! 74 00:05:08,940 --> 00:05:12,355 50,000 rubles' worth of jewelry... 75 00:05:12,460 --> 00:05:14,451 stuffed in a chair! 76 00:05:16,130 --> 00:05:19,759 Heaven knows who may sit on that chair! 77 00:05:19,867 --> 00:05:22,836 If it's still a chair! 78 00:05:22,937 --> 00:05:26,394 It may be firewood by now. 79 00:05:28,508 --> 00:05:31,534 How could you do such a thing? 80 00:05:34,381 --> 00:05:37,646 How could you do such a thing? 81 00:05:41,855 --> 00:05:45,154 How could you do such a thing? 82 00:05:47,627 --> 00:05:50,187 Please, Ippolit. 83 00:05:51,431 --> 00:05:54,491 I know I did wrong, but... 84 00:05:54,601 --> 00:05:57,229 please forgive me. 85 00:06:02,708 --> 00:06:04,708 Of course. 86 00:06:07,010 --> 00:06:09,478 Of course, maman. 87 00:06:10,514 --> 00:06:13,312 Of course I forgive you. 88 00:06:22,226 --> 00:06:24,226 Thank you. 89 00:06:24,528 --> 00:06:28,521 Now I can die in peace. 90 00:09:08,782 --> 00:09:11,273 Give! Open your heart! 91 00:09:15,655 --> 00:09:18,954 Thank you, sir. Thank you. Very generous of you. 92 00:09:32,806 --> 00:09:35,604 Now there's a healthy girl. 93 00:09:45,918 --> 00:09:47,884 What can I say, little father? 94 00:09:47,985 --> 00:09:50,180 It's a miracle. I can see. 95 00:09:50,287 --> 00:09:52,517 I can walk. Rejoice! 96 00:10:04,435 --> 00:10:07,233 Do you love me? 97 00:10:07,337 --> 00:10:11,296 Well, let's just say that I am very much in lust with you. 98 00:10:11,408 --> 00:10:13,876 Oh, my God. My husband! 99 00:10:13,977 --> 00:10:15,944 Your husband? 100 00:10:16,045 --> 00:10:20,209 Out goes the bad air, in goes the good air. 101 00:10:20,316 --> 00:10:23,046 - Out goes the bad air... - What's going on? 102 00:10:23,152 --> 00:10:26,610 - Who are you? - This woman is my wife. I'm her husband. 103 00:10:26,722 --> 00:10:30,317 She fainted just outside the door. I'm giving her artificial respiration. 104 00:10:30,426 --> 00:10:34,192 How dare you allow a frail creature like this to carry heavy bundles. 105 00:10:34,297 --> 00:10:37,357 - Has she ever fainted before? - Never. Maybe once. I don't know. 106 00:10:37,467 --> 00:10:39,560 All right. Come on. Take over. 107 00:10:39,669 --> 00:10:41,660 Now remember, out goes the bad air... 108 00:10:41,771 --> 00:10:43,669 in goes the good air. 109 00:10:43,771 --> 00:10:46,672 Out goes the bad air, in goes the good air. 110 00:10:46,774 --> 00:10:49,641 - I should report you for this, but we'll let it go. - Thank you. 111 00:10:49,743 --> 00:10:52,643 You are very kind. It will never happen again. I promise. Never. 112 00:10:52,745 --> 00:10:56,977 - See that it doesn't! - Out goes the bad air, in goes the good air. 113 00:10:57,083 --> 00:11:00,052 Out goes the good air, in goes the bad air. 114 00:11:00,153 --> 00:11:02,986 Out goes the good air, in goes the bad air. 115 00:12:05,648 --> 00:12:07,582 There, there. 116 00:12:07,683 --> 00:12:10,652 There. Oh, boy. You must have fallen. 117 00:12:11,820 --> 00:12:13,788 Thank you. 118 00:12:13,889 --> 00:12:16,881 - Who are you? - Ostap Bender at your service. 119 00:12:16,992 --> 00:12:18,992 Cigarette? 120 00:12:21,964 --> 00:12:23,964 Thank you. 121 00:12:24,767 --> 00:12:26,667 Tell me, uh, comrade... 122 00:12:26,769 --> 00:12:29,499 "Comrade. " "Comrade." 123 00:12:29,605 --> 00:12:31,903 Everybody calls me comrade. 124 00:12:32,007 --> 00:12:35,839 Everybody in the new Soviet Union is a comrade. 125 00:12:35,943 --> 00:12:38,673 People you don't know, strangers. 126 00:12:38,779 --> 00:12:40,770 Everybody says "comrade." 127 00:12:41,881 --> 00:12:44,475 Oh, I miss Russia. 128 00:12:44,584 --> 00:12:46,384 Hmm, yes. 129 00:12:46,686 --> 00:12:50,349 Tell me, uh, what goes on in this great house? 130 00:12:50,456 --> 00:12:53,056 Mostly dying. 131 00:12:53,326 --> 00:12:55,577 Dying. 132 00:12:55,677 --> 00:12:59,628 It's an old-age home for weary, old ladies. 133 00:12:59,732 --> 00:13:04,066 They tippy-toe in, they have a little bowl of porridge... 134 00:13:04,170 --> 00:13:06,798 and... that's it. 135 00:13:06,906 --> 00:13:10,239 Oh, what a pity. What a pity. 136 00:13:10,343 --> 00:13:12,573 See, I thought it was a hotel. 137 00:13:12,678 --> 00:13:15,738 You, uh... You don't happen to know of any nearby, do you? 138 00:13:15,848 --> 00:13:19,544 You see, I've come a long way, and I'm seeking suitable lodgings for the night. 139 00:13:19,651 --> 00:13:21,983 Oh, uh, by the by... 140 00:13:22,087 --> 00:13:24,555 do you happen to have a spare bed down there? 141 00:13:28,291 --> 00:13:31,351 No, I don't, Mr. By the By. 142 00:13:31,461 --> 00:13:34,430 I don't happen to have a spare bed. 143 00:13:34,530 --> 00:13:37,192 There isn't a spare bed in all of Russia! 144 00:13:37,300 --> 00:13:39,666 People are sleeping between each other... 145 00:13:39,769 --> 00:13:41,760 and you're talking spare bed. 146 00:13:41,871 --> 00:13:45,136 You make me laugh. Ho, wah, wah, wah, wah. 147 00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:48,176 "Spare bed." You must be nuts. 148 00:13:51,547 --> 00:13:53,932 Listen. 149 00:13:54,032 --> 00:13:55,515 I'll tell you what. 150 00:13:55,617 --> 00:13:57,915 If you'll buy me a drink... 151 00:13:58,020 --> 00:13:59,988 you can sleep on the floor. 152 00:14:01,223 --> 00:14:04,023 Done. Come on. 153 00:14:04,259 --> 00:14:07,660 What are you doing in Stargorod? You look to me like a Muscovite. 154 00:14:07,763 --> 00:14:10,357 Listen, tell me. Tell me. Who lived here in the old days? 155 00:14:10,465 --> 00:14:13,730 Oh, in the old days was my master... 156 00:14:13,835 --> 00:14:17,293 Ippolit Matveyevich Vorobyaninov. 157 00:14:17,406 --> 00:14:20,603 He was a marshal of the nobility. 158 00:14:20,709 --> 00:14:24,302 I loved him. He hardly ever beat us. 159 00:14:24,411 --> 00:14:27,380 Ah. And whatever became of your lovable master? 160 00:14:27,480 --> 00:14:31,040 One night, about 10 years ago, was a fearful noise. 161 00:14:31,150 --> 00:14:33,778 It was bombs and cannons and soldiers shooting. 162 00:14:33,886 --> 00:14:35,786 It was terrible, terrible. 163 00:14:35,888 --> 00:14:38,322 Oh, yes. I think it was called the revolution. 164 00:14:38,424 --> 00:14:41,416 That was it. The revolution. 165 00:14:41,527 --> 00:14:45,123 You're smart. You're smart and you're gorgeous. 166 00:14:45,231 --> 00:14:47,358 You're okay. 167 00:14:47,467 --> 00:14:49,435 Anyways... 168 00:14:50,570 --> 00:14:53,061 they all run away. 169 00:14:54,641 --> 00:14:57,201 Well, come on, old boy. 170 00:14:57,310 --> 00:14:59,710 Let us see how drunk... 171 00:14:59,813 --> 00:15:02,805 two Russians can get on one ruble. 172 00:15:02,916 --> 00:15:05,248 I like that. Two Russians, one ruble. 173 00:15:37,247 --> 00:15:41,047 Ah. Ivan, fetch the marshal's horse. 174 00:15:41,151 --> 00:15:43,312 He's coming. He's coming. 175 00:15:57,166 --> 00:15:58,566 Master. 176 00:16:05,541 --> 00:16:07,839 I love him. I love him. 177 00:16:10,446 --> 00:16:14,540 Please, dear, hurry home. But don't gallop. 178 00:16:14,648 --> 00:16:17,742 "Don't gallop." Do you hear that, Petya? 179 00:16:17,851 --> 00:16:21,445 "Don't gallop," but "Hurry home." 180 00:16:21,554 --> 00:16:24,921 That's your job. You'll have to puzzle it out. It's too much for me. 181 00:16:25,024 --> 00:16:26,992 Ippolit, take care. 182 00:16:27,093 --> 00:16:29,118 Don't drink too much, and don't gamble. 183 00:16:29,228 --> 00:16:31,458 And stay away from the gypsies. 184 00:16:31,564 --> 00:16:35,330 - Ils sont voleurs. - Chère maman, restez calme. 185 00:16:35,434 --> 00:16:37,902 Tout va bien. Tikon, you idiot, my gloves. 186 00:16:38,004 --> 00:16:39,995 There, master. 187 00:16:43,009 --> 00:16:45,034 I love him. I love him. 188 00:16:58,924 --> 00:17:01,552 Here's your castle. 189 00:17:01,660 --> 00:17:04,823 Drink vodka, we talk. We have some fun. 190 00:17:04,930 --> 00:17:07,899 You know what we can... 191 00:17:07,999 --> 00:17:08,999 do. 192 00:17:11,935 --> 00:17:13,335 Master? 193 00:17:14,437 --> 00:17:15,637 Tikon. 194 00:17:15,872 --> 00:17:17,272 Master? 195 00:17:18,942 --> 00:17:20,842 Is it really him? 196 00:17:20,944 --> 00:17:23,777 It's impossible! It can't be! 197 00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:25,780 It can't be! 198 00:17:25,882 --> 00:17:28,009 It can't be! It can't be! 199 00:17:28,117 --> 00:17:29,917 Oh, ma... 200 00:17:30,420 --> 00:17:32,854 Oh, that's him. That's him. 201 00:17:32,956 --> 00:17:35,287 That's my master. 202 00:17:35,390 --> 00:17:37,984 Oh, master, master. 203 00:17:38,093 --> 00:17:40,152 - Here, Tikon. - Oh, so good to see you. 204 00:17:40,262 --> 00:17:44,130 Here is a ruble. You go have some vodka, and you don't come back for a bit. 205 00:17:44,233 --> 00:17:47,293 - Vodka. - Your master and I have business to discuss. 206 00:17:47,402 --> 00:17:49,002 Come on. 207 00:17:49,404 --> 00:17:51,304 - Business. Business. - Come on. 208 00:17:51,406 --> 00:17:53,006 Tikon... 209 00:17:53,976 --> 00:17:57,935 you're not to say a word to anyone about my being here. 210 00:17:58,046 --> 00:18:00,105 It is secret. 211 00:18:04,152 --> 00:18:07,415 I'm not to tell anyone my master is in Stargorod. 212 00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:11,512 It's a secret. My master told me a secret. 213 00:18:16,595 --> 00:18:17,595 So... 214 00:18:18,597 --> 00:18:21,395 you'd prefer to keep your whereabouts a secret. 215 00:18:21,500 --> 00:18:23,400 Very interesting. 216 00:18:23,502 --> 00:18:25,766 Who are you? 217 00:18:25,871 --> 00:18:29,398 What is this business you have to discuss with me? 218 00:18:30,476 --> 00:18:33,001 I have no business with you. 219 00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:35,342 What do you want? 220 00:18:35,447 --> 00:18:37,347 Oh, I don't know. 221 00:18:37,449 --> 00:18:40,907 I guess maybe it depends upon what you're hiding. 222 00:18:41,020 --> 00:18:45,423 - Maybe this will shed a little light on the matter. - Give me that. That's mine! 223 00:18:45,524 --> 00:18:48,492 Oh, how very impressive. 224 00:18:49,527 --> 00:18:51,495 This ought to fetch quite a lot. 225 00:18:51,596 --> 00:18:55,623 Please give me that paper. It's personal property. 226 00:18:55,733 --> 00:19:00,432 Oh, haven't you heard? There is no personal property in the Soviet Union. 227 00:19:00,538 --> 00:19:02,561 Everything belongs to the people. 228 00:19:02,672 --> 00:19:05,072 Will you please give me that paper? 229 00:19:05,174 --> 00:19:08,507 It is a private matter, and I am not at liberty to discuss it. 230 00:19:08,611 --> 00:19:11,580 Yes, of course. Of course. One shouldn't interfere in private matters. 231 00:19:11,681 --> 00:19:14,582 It's considered gauche. There you are. 232 00:19:14,684 --> 00:19:17,517 Now, I must be off. 233 00:19:20,423 --> 00:19:23,619 - Where are you going? - Ah, the eternal question. 234 00:19:23,725 --> 00:19:25,625 Quo vadis? 235 00:19:25,727 --> 00:19:29,663 Well, if you must know, I am "vadising" off to gossip with the secret police. 236 00:19:34,269 --> 00:19:37,966 - "Secret police"? - Well, what can I do, old cock? 237 00:19:38,073 --> 00:19:41,270 After all, I am a patriotic citizen of the Soviet Union. 238 00:19:41,376 --> 00:19:44,868 It is my sacred duty to turn you in. 239 00:19:44,980 --> 00:19:49,644 Now, maybe if you weren't such a selfish pig, we could do business. 240 00:19:49,751 --> 00:19:51,651 - I can't. - I'm going. 241 00:19:51,753 --> 00:19:53,311 - Wait. - Why? 242 00:19:53,421 --> 00:19:55,048 - Let's talk. - About what? 243 00:19:55,156 --> 00:19:56,849 - Things. - What things? 244 00:19:56,956 --> 00:19:58,651 - I don't know. Situation... - I'm going. 245 00:19:58,758 --> 00:19:59,883 - Wait. - Why? 246 00:19:59,992 --> 00:20:01,323 - Let's talk. - About what? 247 00:20:01,426 --> 00:20:02,518 - It. - What's "it"? 248 00:20:02,627 --> 00:20:04,026 - You know. - I know what? 249 00:20:04,129 --> 00:20:06,798 - What we're talking about. - We're talking about nothing. I'm going. 250 00:20:06,898 --> 00:20:08,024 - You mustn't. - I must. 251 00:20:08,133 --> 00:20:09,157 - Why? - The reward. 252 00:20:09,267 --> 00:20:10,598 - What reward? - For turning you in. 253 00:20:10,702 --> 00:20:11,702 - Wait. - Why? 254 00:20:11,803 --> 00:20:12,929 - We'll talk... - About what? 255 00:20:13,038 --> 00:20:15,905 About the diamonds, the diamonds, the diamonds! 256 00:20:18,243 --> 00:20:20,677 The diamonds. 257 00:20:25,217 --> 00:20:27,708 And most of this stuff was purchased... 258 00:20:27,819 --> 00:20:31,016 20 or 30 years ago for about 50,000 rubles, hmm? 259 00:20:31,123 --> 00:20:32,123 Yes. 260 00:20:33,191 --> 00:20:35,250 That means that today... 261 00:20:35,360 --> 00:20:41,264 they'd probably be worth between 150,000 and 200,000. 262 00:20:42,500 --> 00:20:44,400 As much as that? 263 00:20:44,502 --> 00:20:46,800 Not a kopeck less. 264 00:20:46,904 --> 00:20:49,202 And maybe more. 265 00:20:49,306 --> 00:20:53,741 I've got to find those chairs. 266 00:20:57,279 --> 00:20:59,440 Tikon is back. 267 00:20:59,548 --> 00:21:02,483 - Tikon, come here. - Coming, master. 268 00:21:03,752 --> 00:21:06,243 - Tikon... - Coming. I'm coming. 269 00:21:06,355 --> 00:21:09,916 Coming, master. I'm coming. Coming. Coming. Coming. 270 00:21:10,025 --> 00:21:13,118 Coming. Coming. Coming. Coming. 271 00:21:13,227 --> 00:21:15,957 I'm coming, master. I'm coming. 272 00:21:16,064 --> 00:21:19,033 I'm coming. I'm coming, master. 273 00:21:19,133 --> 00:21:21,067 I'm coming. I'm coming, master. 274 00:21:21,169 --> 00:21:24,764 - Tikon. - You see? I'm here. 275 00:21:24,872 --> 00:21:28,672 Tikon, the furniture. What happened to the furniture? 276 00:21:28,776 --> 00:21:30,767 - The furniture. - Yes, the furniture. 277 00:21:30,878 --> 00:21:33,870 - What happened to the furniture? - The furniture? 278 00:21:33,981 --> 00:21:36,745 What happened to the furniture? 279 00:21:41,589 --> 00:21:43,682 Tikon. Tikon. 280 00:21:49,127 --> 00:21:51,187 Well, cross-examination of the witness... 281 00:21:51,297 --> 00:21:53,788 will have to be adjourned until tomorrow morning. 282 00:21:54,834 --> 00:21:56,802 Let's go to bed. 283 00:22:11,550 --> 00:22:13,575 Oh, thou who knowest all... 284 00:22:14,620 --> 00:22:16,420 You know. 285 00:22:33,771 --> 00:22:34,971 Tikon. 286 00:22:35,840 --> 00:22:37,040 Tikon. 287 00:22:38,443 --> 00:22:40,343 Master. Hmm. 288 00:22:40,445 --> 00:22:43,071 - Oh, master, you're still... - Shh. 289 00:22:43,179 --> 00:22:45,238 Where is the furniture? 290 00:22:45,348 --> 00:22:47,612 - The furniture? - Yes, Tikon. 291 00:22:47,717 --> 00:22:49,651 Where is the furniture? 292 00:22:49,752 --> 00:22:52,585 You mean upstairs in the house? 293 00:22:52,688 --> 00:22:54,739 Yes. 294 00:22:54,839 --> 00:22:56,988 Some of it is still there. 295 00:22:57,093 --> 00:23:01,290 The velvet sofa is there. It's a mess now. 296 00:23:01,396 --> 00:23:04,854 And the andirons. They kept the andirons. 297 00:23:04,966 --> 00:23:07,594 Did they keep the chairs? 298 00:23:07,702 --> 00:23:10,694 There was a dining room suite with 12 chairs... 299 00:23:10,805 --> 00:23:12,705 made by Hambs of London. 300 00:23:13,875 --> 00:23:17,402 They were upholstered in gold brocade. 301 00:23:17,512 --> 00:23:20,037 Do you remember? 302 00:23:20,148 --> 00:23:24,380 Twelve chairs. Walnut. Covered in gold brocade. 303 00:23:24,486 --> 00:23:26,078 Yes! Yes! That's them! That's them! 304 00:23:26,188 --> 00:23:27,849 They're gone. 305 00:23:30,825 --> 00:23:32,952 - All but one. - Where is it? 306 00:23:33,061 --> 00:23:35,825 The pantry, outside the kitchen. 307 00:23:35,931 --> 00:23:39,022 Sits there. A major. A beauty. 308 00:23:39,131 --> 00:23:42,396 Good. Now what happened to the other 11 chairs? 309 00:23:42,501 --> 00:23:45,436 One morning, a big van came... 310 00:23:45,537 --> 00:23:48,404 from the Bureau of Housing, took everything. 311 00:23:48,507 --> 00:23:50,873 - The Bureau of Housing? - Shh. 312 00:23:50,976 --> 00:23:54,343 Now, think, Tikon, what street is the Bureau of Housing on? 313 00:23:59,251 --> 00:24:03,950 Headache! Headache! I have such a headache! 314 00:24:04,056 --> 00:24:06,923 - What I drink last night. - All right. Never mind. I'll find it. 315 00:24:07,025 --> 00:24:09,619 What do you mean you'll find it? 316 00:24:09,728 --> 00:24:11,787 Look, I don't give a damn who finds it. 317 00:24:11,897 --> 00:24:14,091 All right. It's time for action. 318 00:24:14,198 --> 00:24:16,758 You will go upstairs and occupy chair number one... 319 00:24:16,867 --> 00:24:19,165 and I will lead the attack at the Bureau of Housing. 320 00:24:19,270 --> 00:24:21,965 - I'm off. - Uh, wait. 321 00:24:22,073 --> 00:24:24,564 What shall I tell them? 322 00:24:24,675 --> 00:24:28,111 You will tell them that you are Cousin Michael from Kiev... 323 00:24:28,212 --> 00:24:31,181 and you will say that all the Vorobyaninovs are dead... 324 00:24:31,282 --> 00:24:35,273 and that you are willing to pay hard rubles for something... 325 00:24:35,384 --> 00:24:37,682 to remember them by. 326 00:24:42,825 --> 00:24:46,124 Cousin Michael from Kiev. All the Vorobyaninovs are dead. 327 00:24:46,228 --> 00:24:49,891 I am Cousin Michael from Kiev. All the Vorobyaninovs are dead. 328 00:24:58,072 --> 00:25:00,802 - Yes? - I am Cousin Kiev from Vorobyaninov. 329 00:25:00,908 --> 00:25:03,843 - All the Michaels are dead. - What? 330 00:25:08,483 --> 00:25:10,383 What can I do for you? 331 00:25:10,485 --> 00:25:12,612 I am Cousin... Chair! 332 00:25:23,264 --> 00:25:27,165 Aaah! Give me that... I want that chair! 333 00:25:27,267 --> 00:25:29,199 - Stop or I'll call the police! - Police? 334 00:25:30,769 --> 00:25:33,863 - Give it to me! Give it to me! - No! No! No! No! 335 00:25:33,972 --> 00:25:34,972 Aaah! 336 00:25:58,763 --> 00:26:01,197 Father Fyodor. 337 00:26:05,836 --> 00:26:08,036 How are ya? 338 00:26:08,372 --> 00:26:12,502 Well, this is disgusting. 339 00:26:12,609 --> 00:26:15,373 This is truly disgusting. 340 00:26:15,479 --> 00:26:17,845 Not so fast! Not so fast! 341 00:26:17,948 --> 00:26:20,041 - That's my chair. - Ah. 342 00:26:20,150 --> 00:26:23,779 It's the Holy Father. Taking up a collection, are you? 343 00:26:24,853 --> 00:26:27,754 Here's a donation. 344 00:26:28,857 --> 00:26:30,415 Thank you. 345 00:26:37,132 --> 00:26:40,532 - Why are you after my chair? - It's not yours. 346 00:26:40,634 --> 00:26:43,762 - Then whose is it? - It's nationalized property. 347 00:26:43,871 --> 00:26:46,738 - It belongs to the workers. - Did you say the workers? 348 00:26:46,841 --> 00:26:49,207 - Yes. The workers. - Maybe the Holy Father... 349 00:26:49,310 --> 00:26:51,540 is a member of the Communist Party. 350 00:26:51,645 --> 00:26:54,045 - Maybe. - But the party is for atheists. 351 00:26:54,148 --> 00:26:56,412 How can a priest join the party? 352 00:26:58,552 --> 00:27:00,577 The church must keep up with the times. 353 00:27:31,416 --> 00:27:34,510 How did you find out about the jewels? 354 00:27:34,619 --> 00:27:37,019 People talk. 355 00:27:38,356 --> 00:27:41,883 Why, you disgusting creature. 356 00:27:41,993 --> 00:27:45,190 You used the sacred sacrament of confession... 357 00:27:45,296 --> 00:27:47,787 to further your own ends! 358 00:27:47,899 --> 00:27:51,630 - Not really. - Well, you are just about... 359 00:27:51,736 --> 00:27:54,067 the most contemptible creature... 360 00:27:54,171 --> 00:27:57,538 it has ever been my misfortune to meet. 361 00:27:57,641 --> 00:28:02,078 You're not worth spitting on! 362 00:28:02,179 --> 00:28:04,979 Well, you are! 363 00:28:05,816 --> 00:28:08,580 Come back, you coward! 364 00:28:08,685 --> 00:28:11,279 You'd better keep away from my chairs! 365 00:28:13,023 --> 00:28:15,455 Finders, keepers! 366 00:28:20,328 --> 00:28:22,922 Hmm. It's just like a detective story. 367 00:28:23,031 --> 00:28:25,522 We have a mysterious rival. 368 00:28:28,937 --> 00:28:30,870 Hey, uh, you'd better get out of here. 369 00:28:30,971 --> 00:28:32,871 You look rather conspicuous. 370 00:28:32,973 --> 00:28:35,168 You're right. You're right. 371 00:28:35,275 --> 00:28:38,802 Oh, how I hate him. Oh, God, how I hate him. 372 00:28:38,912 --> 00:28:39,912 Go. 373 00:30:24,345 --> 00:30:25,945 "Hambs." 374 00:30:26,380 --> 00:30:28,180 "Drapes." 375 00:30:33,187 --> 00:30:35,087 Here we are. 376 00:31:00,313 --> 00:31:01,511 Hello. 377 00:31:03,648 --> 00:31:04,648 Ah. 378 00:31:08,786 --> 00:31:09,786 Oh. 379 00:31:20,598 --> 00:31:23,998 That's it. 380 00:31:26,537 --> 00:31:29,165 Can I help you? 381 00:31:29,273 --> 00:31:30,273 Well? 382 00:31:36,413 --> 00:31:39,644 I didn't know anybody was... here. 383 00:31:41,618 --> 00:31:44,348 I came in and... 384 00:31:44,454 --> 00:31:45,454 I... 385 00:31:46,456 --> 00:31:49,892 Persons seeking information are to wait in the waiting area prescribed for them. 386 00:31:49,993 --> 00:31:52,393 It is a criminal offense for unauthorized citizens... 387 00:31:52,496 --> 00:31:54,396 to tamper with official files. 388 00:31:54,498 --> 00:31:56,794 Oh, yes. Yes, to be sure. To be sure. 389 00:31:59,100 --> 00:32:02,695 - Remove your hat. - Oh. 390 00:32:02,804 --> 00:32:06,706 All right. Now that you are in the proper area, would you please state your business? 391 00:32:06,808 --> 00:32:09,275 Chairs. Dining room... 392 00:32:09,376 --> 00:32:11,810 walnut, made by Hambs... 393 00:32:11,912 --> 00:32:16,940 belonging to a certain Ippolit Matveyevich Vorobyaninov. 394 00:32:17,051 --> 00:32:19,019 - Tell me, comrade. - Yes. 395 00:32:19,119 --> 00:32:22,213 Why exactly are you seeking this particular set of chairs? 396 00:32:23,624 --> 00:32:26,115 It's, uh... It's personal. 397 00:32:27,528 --> 00:32:29,528 I'm sorry. 398 00:32:29,730 --> 00:32:31,925 No information. No information. 399 00:32:32,032 --> 00:32:34,057 All right. All right. 400 00:32:35,469 --> 00:32:38,370 I'll tell you everything. 401 00:32:38,472 --> 00:32:40,997 I am Vorobyaninov's son. 402 00:32:43,010 --> 00:32:45,136 His firstborn. 403 00:32:45,244 --> 00:32:47,212 He was like a father to me. 404 00:32:47,313 --> 00:32:48,313 So... 405 00:32:49,916 --> 00:32:53,611 you are Vorobyaninov's son. 406 00:32:53,718 --> 00:32:55,718 Yes, I am. 407 00:32:56,754 --> 00:32:58,722 - How old are you? - Forty-six. Forty-four. 408 00:32:58,823 --> 00:33:00,791 - Which is it? - Forty-two. I'm 42. 409 00:33:00,891 --> 00:33:04,827 According to our records, Vorobyaninov is 53. 410 00:33:04,929 --> 00:33:07,898 That means that when you were born, your father was... 411 00:33:07,998 --> 00:33:08,998 11. 412 00:33:14,305 --> 00:33:15,305 Ah. 413 00:33:27,517 --> 00:33:29,317 Ticktock. 414 00:33:29,586 --> 00:33:32,987 - Are you trying to bribe a Soviet official? - Oh, no, no, no. No, no, no. 415 00:33:33,089 --> 00:33:35,284 I was hoping for the best. 416 00:33:35,391 --> 00:33:39,327 Well, since you are Vorobyaninov's only son... 417 00:33:39,429 --> 00:33:41,260 I'll see what I can do. 418 00:33:41,364 --> 00:33:43,264 Thank you. Bless you. 419 00:33:43,366 --> 00:33:45,994 Now, if you will just excuse me. 420 00:33:46,102 --> 00:33:48,068 I will be back in one moment. 421 00:33:48,169 --> 00:33:51,263 Oh, thank you. Bless you. 422 00:33:55,877 --> 00:33:58,276 Ah. Perfect. 423 00:33:59,679 --> 00:34:04,013 One dozen Hambs chairs, property of General Polyakov. 424 00:34:04,117 --> 00:34:05,117 Ah. 425 00:34:06,119 --> 00:34:08,178 Better make that 11. 426 00:34:10,724 --> 00:34:13,921 Sent to a certain engineer Bruns, Irkutsk... 427 00:34:16,930 --> 00:34:18,530 Siberia. 428 00:34:20,767 --> 00:34:22,701 - Here we are. - Ah. 429 00:34:22,803 --> 00:34:25,829 Here's your shipping order. Ah. Oh. Ah. 430 00:34:25,939 --> 00:34:27,907 - One moment, please. - Excuse me. 431 00:34:28,008 --> 00:34:29,976 - Procedure. - Uh-huh. 432 00:34:31,778 --> 00:34:33,768 I hope you find your chairs. Ah. 433 00:34:38,717 --> 00:34:40,981 Eleven chairs. 434 00:34:41,086 --> 00:34:43,314 That's it. Thank you. Thank you. 435 00:34:43,420 --> 00:34:46,116 Thank you. Thank you. 436 00:34:47,291 --> 00:34:49,486 Bless you. Bless you. 437 00:34:49,593 --> 00:34:52,824 Bless you. Bless you! Bless you! 438 00:35:36,739 --> 00:35:38,137 Moscow. 439 00:35:38,739 --> 00:35:40,139 Moscow. 440 00:35:41,609 --> 00:35:44,476 The chairs are in Moscow. 441 00:35:44,578 --> 00:35:46,546 I can hardly believe it. 442 00:35:46,646 --> 00:35:49,740 I mean, we're actually going to see them. 443 00:35:49,849 --> 00:35:52,750 My chairs are in a museum. 444 00:35:53,920 --> 00:35:56,821 I never realized they were so valuable. 445 00:35:56,923 --> 00:35:59,790 If they only knew. 446 00:35:59,893 --> 00:36:01,293 Moscow! 447 00:36:46,938 --> 00:36:50,169 They're not here. The chairs are not here. 448 00:36:50,274 --> 00:36:53,243 Look. See that cabinet? Empire. 449 00:36:53,344 --> 00:36:56,177 And those writing tables. Louis Quinze. 450 00:36:56,280 --> 00:36:59,476 - We're on the wrong floor. I know we're on the wrong floor. - Take it easy. 451 00:36:59,582 --> 00:37:03,074 - Take it easy. - And what if they're not here at all? 452 00:37:03,186 --> 00:37:05,746 How would we ever find them, hmm? Where would we look? 453 00:37:05,855 --> 00:37:08,380 Who would we ask? They're lost, I tell you. Lost. 454 00:37:08,491 --> 00:37:10,288 I never should have... 455 00:37:14,064 --> 00:37:17,464 My chairs. 456 00:37:18,068 --> 00:37:19,968 My chairs! 457 00:37:20,070 --> 00:37:21,970 That's my furniture! 458 00:37:23,239 --> 00:37:25,366 I wonder which one it is. 459 00:37:25,475 --> 00:37:29,034 Don't you worry about it. We will know soon enough. 460 00:37:29,143 --> 00:37:32,840 We will get the chairs at closing time. 461 00:37:32,947 --> 00:37:35,547 Closing time. 462 00:37:35,817 --> 00:37:38,478 Closing time. Closing time. 463 00:37:38,585 --> 00:37:41,179 Closing time. 464 00:37:41,288 --> 00:37:44,917 Closing time. Closing time. 465 00:37:47,961 --> 00:37:50,953 What shall we do? 466 00:37:51,064 --> 00:37:54,932 Wait until these people go by, and then you follow me. 467 00:38:14,687 --> 00:38:17,087 Here we are. 468 00:38:17,590 --> 00:38:20,388 Get those Hambs dining room chairs... 469 00:38:20,493 --> 00:38:22,654 and put them on the cart. 470 00:38:23,696 --> 00:38:25,594 Shh, shh, shh. 471 00:38:25,696 --> 00:38:29,188 Don't make a sound. 472 00:38:29,299 --> 00:38:31,499 Calm. Calm. 473 00:38:32,136 --> 00:38:34,604 At all costs. 474 00:38:34,705 --> 00:38:36,705 No. 475 00:38:37,374 --> 00:38:41,435 No, no, no, no, no. Don't take them all. 476 00:38:41,545 --> 00:38:43,479 Leave four. 477 00:38:43,580 --> 00:38:46,913 Four. We are only taking seven. 478 00:38:47,017 --> 00:38:50,144 Why are they only taking seven? 479 00:38:50,253 --> 00:38:52,380 We are only taking seven... 480 00:38:52,488 --> 00:38:54,422 because four is enough... 481 00:38:54,524 --> 00:38:56,424 to represent the period. 482 00:38:56,526 --> 00:38:58,726 That's why. 483 00:38:59,395 --> 00:39:02,091 Good. Good. Now... 484 00:39:02,198 --> 00:39:05,326 take the chairs to the freight entrance. 485 00:39:05,435 --> 00:39:07,233 They will be collected at 8:00 a. m. tomorrow morning. 486 00:39:07,333 --> 00:39:09,098 They will be collected at 8:00 a. m. tomorrow morning. 487 00:39:09,205 --> 00:39:11,605 Good. 488 00:39:18,081 --> 00:39:20,843 They're getting away. They're getting away. 489 00:39:20,948 --> 00:39:23,416 They're not getting away. 490 00:39:23,517 --> 00:39:26,178 We know exactly where they're going. 491 00:39:26,286 --> 00:39:31,155 And if luck is with us, we will never have to see those other chairs again. 492 00:39:31,257 --> 00:39:34,522 - What do you mean? - I mean, thickhead... 493 00:39:34,627 --> 00:39:37,960 the jewels might very well be hidden... 494 00:39:38,064 --> 00:39:41,932 in one of these four beauties. 495 00:39:44,237 --> 00:39:49,140 - What are you doing? - Maybe we missed something. 496 00:39:49,242 --> 00:39:51,506 Does this look like we missed anything? 497 00:40:07,426 --> 00:40:09,587 The chairs! The chairs! 498 00:40:09,695 --> 00:40:12,493 I know, I know. Shut up. 499 00:40:13,866 --> 00:40:17,300 "Columbus Repertory Theatre." 500 00:40:17,400 --> 00:40:20,000 Two... 501 00:40:20,837 --> 00:40:24,237 four, six. 502 00:40:25,942 --> 00:40:28,137 Six. Seven. 503 00:40:28,245 --> 00:40:30,236 Where's seven? 504 00:40:30,347 --> 00:40:32,247 They're leaving! 505 00:40:32,349 --> 00:40:34,374 It's all right. We know where they're going. 506 00:40:34,484 --> 00:40:36,384 Our problem is number seven. 507 00:40:36,486 --> 00:40:39,454 Where is number seven? 508 00:40:41,056 --> 00:40:42,990 Well, I must find out. 509 00:40:43,092 --> 00:40:44,992 Yes, we must find out. 510 00:40:45,094 --> 00:40:47,221 Not "we." I. 511 00:40:47,329 --> 00:40:50,127 You sit here and wait for me. 512 00:40:50,232 --> 00:40:51,232 Sit. 513 00:40:52,601 --> 00:40:53,601 Sit. 514 00:40:57,873 --> 00:41:00,273 Stay. 515 00:42:11,241 --> 00:42:13,971 Irkutsk! Irkutsk! 516 00:42:14,077 --> 00:42:17,077 Siberia! 517 00:43:05,357 --> 00:43:06,357 Whoo! 518 00:43:08,060 --> 00:43:10,723 - Yes? - I am looking for Engineer Bruns. 519 00:43:10,830 --> 00:43:13,993 I am Engineer Bruns. 520 00:43:14,100 --> 00:43:16,398 What do you want? 521 00:43:18,571 --> 00:43:21,165 What is it? What are you doing? 522 00:43:24,477 --> 00:43:26,536 - Olga! - What's going on? What's going on? 523 00:43:26,646 --> 00:43:29,240 Andrei, why is that man kissing your knee? 524 00:43:29,349 --> 00:43:31,476 - I don't know. - Dear lady... 525 00:43:31,584 --> 00:43:33,916 - Oh! Oh! - On you I rest all my hopes. 526 00:43:34,020 --> 00:43:37,183 - Ooh! Ow! Ooh! - On the chair. 527 00:43:37,290 --> 00:43:39,622 No, no, no. Don't... I must grovel at your feet. 528 00:43:39,726 --> 00:43:42,421 - Put him up on the chair. - No, no, no, no. 529 00:43:42,528 --> 00:43:45,190 Now, once and for all, who are you and what do you want? 530 00:43:45,297 --> 00:43:48,425 - I want to grovel at your feet. I must grovel at your feet. - No groveling. 531 00:43:48,534 --> 00:43:51,435 There will be no groveling in this house. This is a Soviet household. 532 00:43:51,537 --> 00:43:53,528 - We don't allow groveling. - What do you want? 533 00:43:53,639 --> 00:43:55,439 I... Hmm. 534 00:43:56,440 --> 00:44:00,171 These chairs. I must have these chairs. 535 00:44:01,545 --> 00:44:04,207 - He wants our chairs. - Maybe he's a furniture dealer. 536 00:44:04,314 --> 00:44:06,009 Are you a furniture dealer? Is that it? 537 00:44:06,116 --> 00:44:10,815 Not for personal gain. I assure you, not for personal gain. 538 00:44:10,921 --> 00:44:13,321 My motives are pure. Ohh. 539 00:44:13,423 --> 00:44:16,153 They're the very best motives. I... I... I think... 540 00:44:16,259 --> 00:44:18,624 you're going to be very impressed with my motives. 541 00:44:18,728 --> 00:44:19,728 Yes. 542 00:44:20,730 --> 00:44:22,755 - Well? - Well what? 543 00:44:22,865 --> 00:44:25,595 Your motives. You didn't tell us your motives. 544 00:44:25,701 --> 00:44:29,569 Oh, yes. My motives. My motives. 545 00:44:29,672 --> 00:44:31,606 Come on, brain. 546 00:44:32,708 --> 00:44:34,108 Got it! 547 00:44:34,744 --> 00:44:38,874 The chairs belonged to my wife and her mother before her... 548 00:44:38,981 --> 00:44:41,211 and now my wife is ill. 549 00:44:41,317 --> 00:44:46,220 She's very ill. She's dying, dying. Dead. 550 00:44:46,322 --> 00:44:50,759 Dying. Uh, she keeps calling for her chairs. 551 00:44:50,860 --> 00:44:52,792 Oh, please. You cannot deny me. 552 00:44:52,893 --> 00:44:55,861 It's a dying woman's wish. 553 00:44:55,962 --> 00:44:59,454 Olga, what shall we do? Shall we give him the chairs? 554 00:44:59,565 --> 00:45:03,160 - Don't be ridiculous. Nobody's taking my chairs. - You dirty... 555 00:45:03,269 --> 00:45:05,396 I'm sorry. I cannot let you have the chairs. 556 00:45:05,505 --> 00:45:07,632 I didn't hear that. 557 00:45:07,740 --> 00:45:09,640 I didn't hear that. 558 00:45:09,742 --> 00:45:11,676 I didn't hear that. 559 00:45:11,778 --> 00:45:14,713 I didn't hear that. I didn't hear that. I don't want to hear that. 560 00:45:14,814 --> 00:45:17,374 Don't you understand? I don't want to hear that. 561 00:45:17,483 --> 00:45:18,483 Ooh! 562 00:45:19,585 --> 00:45:22,585 That's a hot... 563 00:45:25,425 --> 00:45:28,883 My dear lady, don't you understand? 564 00:45:28,995 --> 00:45:31,963 I need those chairs! 565 00:45:32,063 --> 00:45:34,463 - Andrei! - Oh, please. 566 00:45:34,566 --> 00:45:36,796 - Oh, please. - Stop that! Andrei! 567 00:45:36,902 --> 00:45:37,902 Out! 568 00:45:39,137 --> 00:45:41,435 I want him out of this house immediately! 569 00:45:42,741 --> 00:45:44,709 Well, that's done it. 570 00:45:44,810 --> 00:45:49,302 Wait. Wait. Let's discuss this like adults! 571 00:45:52,248 --> 00:45:54,478 Don't judge a book by its cover. 572 00:45:59,889 --> 00:46:03,552 A memento. A memento of my visit to your lovely home. 573 00:46:03,660 --> 00:46:05,060 Ow! Ow! 574 00:46:06,695 --> 00:46:07,695 Ow! 575 00:46:12,801 --> 00:46:13,801 Ah! 576 00:46:17,072 --> 00:46:20,064 Wait! Wait! I'll pay! 577 00:46:20,175 --> 00:46:22,375 100 rubles! 578 00:46:25,414 --> 00:46:26,414 102? 579 00:46:42,097 --> 00:46:44,085 You down there. 580 00:46:44,196 --> 00:46:47,324 If we don't sail in 10 minutes, I'll miss the tide. 581 00:46:47,433 --> 00:46:50,994 Wait, please. A few more minutes. 582 00:46:51,103 --> 00:46:54,664 One of my actors is missing. 583 00:47:03,115 --> 00:47:04,115 Wait. 584 00:47:12,591 --> 00:47:14,559 Where is Gronsky? 585 00:47:16,662 --> 00:47:20,722 How the hell can I do the play without Gronsky? 586 00:47:20,832 --> 00:47:24,029 Sevitsky, how could you let this happen? 587 00:47:24,135 --> 00:47:26,262 It's your job to make sure that the actors... 588 00:47:26,371 --> 00:47:29,067 are supposed to be where they're supposed to be... 589 00:47:29,173 --> 00:47:30,970 and not wandering around drunk somewhere. 590 00:47:31,075 --> 00:47:33,669 - Well... - Shut up. 591 00:47:33,778 --> 00:47:35,712 Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. 592 00:47:35,813 --> 00:47:37,747 That's all I hear from you. 593 00:47:38,948 --> 00:47:41,314 Oh, my goodness. 594 00:47:41,417 --> 00:47:44,818 I look dreadful. Why didn't you say something? 595 00:47:44,921 --> 00:47:48,322 Time and tide wait for no man. 596 00:47:48,424 --> 00:47:50,892 I like that reading. 597 00:47:50,993 --> 00:47:52,984 Maybe he could play the count. 598 00:47:53,095 --> 00:47:56,552 Sevitsky, that vulgar man in the wheelhouse... 599 00:47:56,665 --> 00:47:59,156 it's only good for one thing... 600 00:47:59,267 --> 00:48:01,235 running ships... 601 00:48:03,204 --> 00:48:06,401 and trying to browbeat his superiors. 602 00:48:06,508 --> 00:48:10,376 Well, if worse comes to worse... 603 00:48:10,478 --> 00:48:13,276 I shall play the count. 604 00:48:13,381 --> 00:48:16,748 Worse shall never come to that worse. 605 00:48:18,954 --> 00:48:20,854 Excuse me. 606 00:48:20,956 --> 00:48:24,414 I'm looking for the commissar producer of the Columbus Theatre. 607 00:48:27,495 --> 00:48:30,362 - That's me. - Good, good. I'm in time. 608 00:48:32,933 --> 00:48:35,456 And what do you want? 609 00:48:35,567 --> 00:48:37,831 I've just come from Gronsky. He told me to find you. 610 00:48:37,936 --> 00:48:40,530 - Where is he? - Moscow General Hospital. 611 00:48:40,639 --> 00:48:44,370 Yes, he was a little in his cups, you might say. 612 00:48:44,476 --> 00:48:48,037 He tried to stop a streetcar. He suffered two broken legs and minor contusions. 613 00:48:48,146 --> 00:48:50,376 And, uh, who are you? 614 00:48:50,482 --> 00:48:53,542 Well, I am from the Artists' Union, theater division. I'm to accompany you. 615 00:48:53,652 --> 00:48:56,416 I took the liberty of getting an immediate replacement for Gronsky. 616 00:48:56,521 --> 00:49:00,457 Fine actor. Made for the part. With your permission, I will bring him on board. One moment. 617 00:49:00,559 --> 00:49:01,559 I... 618 00:49:05,030 --> 00:49:09,056 Guess what. From now on, you are an actor. 619 00:49:25,783 --> 00:49:27,583 Sevitsky. 620 00:49:30,853 --> 00:49:34,016 - Where are you going with that samovar? - What samovar? 621 00:49:34,123 --> 00:49:37,354 - That samovar. - Oh, this samovar. 622 00:49:37,459 --> 00:49:40,189 - Yes. - Well, I was going to have it polished up... 623 00:49:40,295 --> 00:49:42,195 for the show tonight. 624 00:49:42,297 --> 00:49:46,596 Sevitsky, if I catch you trying to sell another piece of company property... 625 00:49:48,369 --> 00:49:49,969 Siberia! 626 00:49:50,371 --> 00:49:53,932 I was going to have it polished. I swear! I swear! 627 00:49:55,743 --> 00:49:58,268 I hate people I don't like. 628 00:50:09,290 --> 00:50:11,451 I feel something. 629 00:50:11,559 --> 00:50:15,051 I knew it. I felt it. I felt it in my bones. 630 00:50:15,163 --> 00:50:18,258 Lucky seven. Little lucky seven. 631 00:50:18,367 --> 00:50:20,426 That is seven. This is eight. 632 00:50:20,536 --> 00:50:22,730 Lucky eight. Lucky eight. 633 00:50:25,638 --> 00:50:29,074 Well, seems much too small for all that loot. 634 00:50:29,175 --> 00:50:31,143 Open it, open it. 635 00:50:35,281 --> 00:50:36,481 Empty. 636 00:50:39,351 --> 00:50:40,551 Empty. 637 00:50:42,354 --> 00:50:46,256 Somebody must have got to the jewels before us. 638 00:50:46,358 --> 00:50:48,724 Oh, there were never any jewels in this box. 639 00:50:48,828 --> 00:50:51,058 It was put in by the furniture maker. 640 00:50:51,163 --> 00:50:53,222 "One set of 12 chairs... 641 00:50:53,332 --> 00:50:55,926 "crafted for I.M. Vorobyaninov... 642 00:50:56,035 --> 00:50:58,002 by Christopher Hambs of London." 643 00:50:58,103 --> 00:51:01,630 I really thought we had them. 644 00:51:01,740 --> 00:51:04,607 I really thought we had them. 645 00:51:04,709 --> 00:51:05,709 Next. 646 00:51:09,681 --> 00:51:11,945 - What's going on here? - Ah. 647 00:51:12,050 --> 00:51:16,111 We are actors. We are members of the Columbus Repertory Theatre. 648 00:51:16,221 --> 00:51:19,622 As you can see, my dear sir, some of our chairs were broken in transit. 649 00:51:19,722 --> 00:51:22,555 We are repairing them. Misha, hand me the leg. 650 00:51:22,658 --> 00:51:24,626 - Misha. - Hmm? 651 00:51:25,728 --> 00:51:26,728 Oh. 652 00:51:27,797 --> 00:51:31,233 If you're actors, you'd better get up to the ship's theater. The show's starting. 653 00:51:31,334 --> 00:51:33,234 Oh, yes, of course. Of course. 654 00:51:33,336 --> 00:51:36,304 Come along, Misha. Come along. Come along. 655 00:51:41,810 --> 00:51:44,870 "The workers are dissatisfied. They intend to make a revolution. 656 00:51:44,980 --> 00:51:47,813 Is there any truth to this rumor?" 657 00:51:47,916 --> 00:51:51,215 "An uprising of peasants and workers. I have never heard anything so absurd." 658 00:51:51,319 --> 00:51:54,049 Bender, the other three chairs in the hold. 659 00:51:54,156 --> 00:51:57,148 The other three chairs in the hold depend upon you, my friend. 660 00:51:57,259 --> 00:52:00,126 - Hmm? - If you go out on that stage and make a fool of yourself... 661 00:52:00,228 --> 00:52:04,528 you will get us thrown off this ship before you can say Nicholas and Alexandra. 662 00:52:04,633 --> 00:52:07,193 It's only a play. 663 00:52:07,302 --> 00:52:11,294 I have attended a theater before, you know. 664 00:52:11,405 --> 00:52:13,339 Ah, Krakov. 665 00:52:13,440 --> 00:52:17,306 It will be so marvelous to see that stimulating Count Krakov again. 666 00:52:17,409 --> 00:52:19,969 Oh, yes. I too have missed him. 667 00:52:20,078 --> 00:52:23,343 - Where's Krakov? - That must be Count Krakov now. 668 00:52:23,448 --> 00:52:25,416 You're on. 669 00:52:29,421 --> 00:52:32,584 Ah, Count Krakov. 670 00:52:45,904 --> 00:52:49,669 Ostap. Take me with you! 671 00:52:49,774 --> 00:52:51,742 Not a chance. 672 00:52:51,843 --> 00:52:53,443 Ostap... 673 00:52:55,680 --> 00:52:58,012 You'll never catch up with that boat. 674 00:52:58,115 --> 00:53:02,279 I don't intend to. I'm going to take the train and meet the boat at Yalta. 675 00:53:10,826 --> 00:53:12,919 Ostap! Ostap! 676 00:53:13,028 --> 00:53:15,223 I'm not a strong swimmer! 677 00:53:16,532 --> 00:53:19,558 I'm not a swimmer. Help! 678 00:53:26,207 --> 00:53:28,266 Vorobyaninov. 679 00:53:34,482 --> 00:53:36,643 Vorobyaninov. 680 00:53:38,720 --> 00:53:40,711 Help. Help. 681 00:53:40,822 --> 00:53:41,822 Help. 682 00:53:53,301 --> 00:53:55,599 Thank you. Thank you. 683 00:54:00,207 --> 00:54:01,207 I... 684 00:54:02,542 --> 00:54:03,542 Cold. 685 00:54:04,578 --> 00:54:06,476 It's cold. 686 00:54:12,217 --> 00:54:13,217 Here. 687 00:54:16,021 --> 00:54:17,989 Thank you. 688 00:54:19,291 --> 00:54:21,259 Thank you. 689 00:54:22,460 --> 00:54:24,951 You're a good soul, Bender. 690 00:54:25,997 --> 00:54:27,965 A good soul. 691 00:55:12,207 --> 00:55:15,539 Mmm! This borscht is delicious, Olga. 692 00:55:15,643 --> 00:55:18,237 I love it cold! 693 00:55:18,346 --> 00:55:21,440 Why didn't you ever make it cold? 694 00:55:21,549 --> 00:55:24,712 How could I make it cold in Irkutsk? 695 00:55:24,819 --> 00:55:28,550 If we didn't eat hot things we'd have died there. 696 00:55:28,656 --> 00:55:30,954 Smell that air. 697 00:55:31,058 --> 00:55:33,652 Smell that air! 698 00:55:33,761 --> 00:55:35,761 Like wine. 699 00:55:36,097 --> 00:55:37,997 I know. I know. 700 00:55:38,099 --> 00:55:42,160 Every night I thank God for your transfer to Yalta. 701 00:55:42,269 --> 00:55:45,568 I don't think I could have survived another winter there. 702 00:55:45,673 --> 00:55:47,273 My dear. 703 00:55:48,676 --> 00:55:51,200 My dearest dear. 704 00:55:56,016 --> 00:55:58,198 103. 705 00:55:58,298 --> 00:55:59,302 What? 706 00:56:01,853 --> 00:56:03,753 I didn't say anything. 707 00:56:05,523 --> 00:56:07,624 104. 708 00:56:07,724 --> 00:56:08,725 Olga? 709 00:56:15,533 --> 00:56:16,533 105. 710 00:56:20,138 --> 00:56:22,402 Good. Oh, good. 711 00:56:22,507 --> 00:56:24,707 Good. Good. 712 00:56:25,276 --> 00:56:29,769 Oh, thank you. Thank you. How very generous of you. 713 00:56:29,880 --> 00:56:32,508 You really shouldn't have done it. 714 00:56:32,616 --> 00:56:34,641 Please, go now. 715 00:56:34,751 --> 00:56:36,878 I never want to see you again. 716 00:56:36,987 --> 00:56:39,251 Oh, I must say good-bye to Madam Bruns. 717 00:56:39,356 --> 00:56:42,120 How can I leave without saying good-bye to Madam Bruns? 718 00:56:42,225 --> 00:56:43,225 No! 719 00:56:55,103 --> 00:56:58,368 The chairs. I don't see the chairs. 720 00:57:14,188 --> 00:57:17,089 - Yes? - Uh, we're still thinking. 721 00:57:24,532 --> 00:57:28,798 Sevitsky. He looks pregnant. 722 00:57:28,903 --> 00:57:31,303 Come on. Let's not lose him. 723 00:57:31,406 --> 00:57:34,466 We must see where he delivers his child. 724 00:58:15,013 --> 00:58:19,412 Ah, it's a boy. 725 00:58:38,502 --> 00:58:43,096 Comrade Sevitsky! You are under arrest for selling property belonging to the state. 726 00:58:43,205 --> 00:58:47,107 Polished. I'm having it polished. 727 00:58:47,209 --> 00:58:49,905 Oh, it's you... 728 00:58:50,012 --> 00:58:52,309 Count Krakov. 729 00:58:52,413 --> 00:58:54,813 Well, you've had your little joke. 730 00:58:54,916 --> 00:58:57,384 Now, if you don't mind, I'll be on my way. 731 00:58:57,485 --> 00:59:00,079 Wait a minute. I would like to talk a little business. 732 00:59:00,188 --> 00:59:02,053 - Business? - Yes. 733 00:59:02,156 --> 00:59:05,717 I'm interested in some chairs. Three of them, to be exact. 734 00:59:05,826 --> 00:59:08,693 They're in your present production at the Columbus Theatre. 735 00:59:08,796 --> 00:59:12,391 Oh, yes. Walnut. Gold covers. 736 00:59:13,935 --> 00:59:16,267 I'm afraid they're already spoken for. 737 00:59:16,370 --> 00:59:19,271 Listen, scum! I want those chairs. 738 00:59:19,373 --> 00:59:22,274 Do you hear me? I want those chairs! 739 00:59:22,376 --> 00:59:25,072 You don't understand. It's quite impossible. 740 00:59:25,179 --> 00:59:28,545 I promised them to a certain individual. He's giving me 10 rubles apiece. 741 00:59:28,648 --> 00:59:31,981 Sell him something else. I want those chairs. 742 00:59:32,085 --> 00:59:34,110 Don't worry. You won't be out a kopeck. 743 00:59:34,221 --> 00:59:36,621 You will get your 30 rubles. 744 00:59:36,723 --> 00:59:39,383 - Oh, my throat! - When can you deliver the chairs? 745 00:59:39,490 --> 00:59:42,118 - Tonight. After the performance. - You'll bring them here? 746 00:59:42,227 --> 00:59:44,127 Yes. I'll bring them here. 747 00:59:44,229 --> 00:59:46,229 All right. 748 00:59:46,431 --> 00:59:49,025 Now, Sevitsky, please don't disappoint me. 749 00:59:49,133 --> 00:59:52,068 Because if you do, I'm afraid I'll have to break your neck. 750 00:59:52,170 --> 00:59:54,764 - A threat to the wise, hmm? - All right. 751 00:59:54,872 --> 00:59:58,330 Midnight. Here on this spot. 752 00:59:58,443 --> 01:00:01,435 You bring the money, I'll bring the chairs. 753 01:00:05,315 --> 01:00:10,378 Bender, Bender, 30 rubles? How do we raise 30 rubles? 754 01:00:34,276 --> 01:00:36,176 Thank you. 755 01:00:37,512 --> 01:00:39,980 Fine day for a picnic. 756 01:00:40,081 --> 01:00:42,981 The others should be along any minute. 757 01:00:43,083 --> 01:00:45,083 Thank you. 758 01:00:45,486 --> 01:00:48,922 Thank you and good-bye. 759 01:00:49,023 --> 01:00:51,617 Good-bye. Have a nice day. 760 01:00:51,725 --> 01:00:53,525 Good-bye. 761 01:00:55,362 --> 01:00:57,853 Get out of here! 762 01:01:25,358 --> 01:01:27,952 Ooh! Oh, what beautiful wood. 763 01:01:28,061 --> 01:01:31,459 What fine detail. 764 01:01:31,729 --> 01:01:35,165 Beautiful workmanship. Beautiful workmanship! 765 01:01:35,266 --> 01:01:37,461 What a gorgeous chair! 766 01:01:43,274 --> 01:01:46,209 Oh, it can't be. 767 01:01:46,310 --> 01:01:50,770 It can't be! It can't be! 768 01:01:50,881 --> 01:01:53,880 It couldn't be! 769 01:01:54,651 --> 01:01:58,712 It can't be! It can't... It can't be! 770 01:02:01,391 --> 01:02:04,883 I don't want to live. I don't want to live! 771 01:02:04,994 --> 01:02:07,929 I don't want to live! 772 01:02:08,031 --> 01:02:12,866 I don't want to live! I don't want to live! 773 01:02:12,969 --> 01:02:15,969 Oh! Ow! Ow! Ow! 774 01:02:25,146 --> 01:02:27,740 Thirty rubles! Tsk, tsk, tsk. 775 01:02:52,739 --> 01:02:55,640 Of course! Of course! 776 01:03:01,948 --> 01:03:04,348 Dostoievsky. 777 01:03:04,684 --> 01:03:06,584 - What? - Never mind. 778 01:03:06,686 --> 01:03:08,676 - Can you roll your eyes? - Roll my eyes? 779 01:03:08,788 --> 01:03:11,518 Yes, roll your eyes. 780 01:03:11,624 --> 01:03:14,024 - I don't know. - Try it. 781 01:03:16,729 --> 01:03:19,924 Oh, that's wonderful. Born to do it. 782 01:03:20,030 --> 01:03:23,522 Now, at a given signal... Stop it. 783 01:03:23,634 --> 01:03:26,159 At a given signal from me... 784 01:03:26,270 --> 01:03:29,103 you will fall from this bench onto the ground... 785 01:03:29,206 --> 01:03:31,868 and pretend to have an epileptic fit. 786 01:03:31,975 --> 01:03:34,671 You will roll your eyes... 787 01:03:34,778 --> 01:03:38,009 you will move your arms and legs... 788 01:03:38,115 --> 01:03:40,709 in short, spastic jerks... 789 01:03:40,818 --> 01:03:44,218 and generally writhe around out of control. 790 01:03:44,320 --> 01:03:47,653 I will call attention to your pitiful state... 791 01:03:47,757 --> 01:03:52,319 and the good-hearted citizens of Yalta will shower you with coins. 792 01:03:54,197 --> 01:03:57,758 What a disgusting idea. 793 01:04:00,102 --> 01:04:03,367 What filthy taste! 794 01:04:05,608 --> 01:04:10,341 There never was and there never will be... 795 01:04:10,446 --> 01:04:14,212 a Vorobyaninov who begs! 796 01:04:18,719 --> 01:04:20,518 Parasite! 797 01:04:20,887 --> 01:04:24,345 Parasite! Parasite! 798 01:04:24,457 --> 01:04:28,120 Disgusting, helpless, inept... 799 01:04:28,229 --> 01:04:30,720 bloodsucking parasite! 800 01:04:30,831 --> 01:04:35,495 Vorobyaninovs never beg! I begged all my life! 801 01:04:51,785 --> 01:04:53,844 Now listen, old man. 802 01:04:55,356 --> 01:04:58,324 Pride is a luxury that neither you nor I can afford... 803 01:04:58,424 --> 01:05:00,915 at this time in our lives. 804 01:05:01,027 --> 01:05:05,361 We need 30 rubles to make our dreams come true. 805 01:05:06,833 --> 01:05:09,301 It's sink or swim. 806 01:05:09,402 --> 01:05:12,164 I choose swim. 807 01:05:12,270 --> 01:05:16,502 Now, to beg or not to beg? That is the question. 808 01:05:16,607 --> 01:05:19,576 I will give you five... 809 01:05:19,677 --> 01:05:22,077 to decide yes or no. 810 01:05:22,179 --> 01:05:25,512 On the count of five, it is farewell. 811 01:05:25,616 --> 01:05:30,349 - One... - Yes. Yes, yes, yes. 812 01:05:30,454 --> 01:05:31,454 Good. 813 01:05:32,722 --> 01:05:35,122 Now, do your stuff. 814 01:05:38,995 --> 01:05:43,625 Attention! Ladies and gentlemen, attention! 815 01:05:43,733 --> 01:05:48,067 A comrade, a citizen, a fellow human being... 816 01:05:48,171 --> 01:05:51,072 cries out for our attention! 817 01:05:51,174 --> 01:05:54,632 Epilepsy, my friends! Epilepsy. 818 01:05:54,744 --> 01:05:58,771 The same disease that struck down our own beloved Dostoievsky. 819 01:05:58,882 --> 01:06:03,910 God knows what genius, what great works of art may be trapped... 820 01:06:04,020 --> 01:06:06,919 in the mind of this poor, wretched soul. 821 01:06:07,021 --> 01:06:10,114 Ah, this poor man. This poor man. 822 01:06:10,223 --> 01:06:12,123 Roll your eyes! 823 01:06:12,225 --> 01:06:15,058 Yes, give! Give... 824 01:06:15,162 --> 01:06:18,495 so that this quivering, shivering, helpless victim... 825 01:06:18,599 --> 01:06:21,466 can receive desperately needed medical attention. 826 01:06:21,568 --> 01:06:24,264 Give! Give, please! 827 01:06:24,371 --> 01:06:27,033 Open your hearts. Give. Give. Give. 828 01:06:27,140 --> 01:06:29,131 Thank you. 829 01:06:30,911 --> 01:06:33,311 Please give. 830 01:06:55,801 --> 01:06:57,769 Cigarette? 831 01:06:57,870 --> 01:06:59,929 No, thank you. 832 01:07:00,039 --> 01:07:02,665 Still angry, huh? 833 01:07:04,241 --> 01:07:08,473 When this business is over... 834 01:07:08,579 --> 01:07:13,812 I never want to see you again. 835 01:07:30,600 --> 01:07:33,831 Oh, you're here. Good. 836 01:07:33,936 --> 01:07:36,530 Yes. Won't you come in? 837 01:07:36,639 --> 01:07:37,639 Yes. 838 01:07:40,276 --> 01:07:44,144 Sorry I'm late. I had to wait till everybody left the theater. 839 01:07:44,247 --> 01:07:47,910 It was opening night, and there was a party. What can I tell you? 840 01:07:48,017 --> 01:07:52,215 You can tell me why you only brought two chairs. We made a deal for three. 841 01:07:52,321 --> 01:07:56,280 - Well, yes, I tried, but... - Where's the other chair? Where is the other chair? 842 01:07:56,392 --> 01:08:00,291 - Do you know what I went through to raise money for those chairs? 843 01:08:00,393 --> 01:08:04,955 Shh. Come on. You're gonna ruin everything. 844 01:08:05,065 --> 01:08:08,762 What's the matter with you people? Every time we meet, you go for my throat. 845 01:08:08,868 --> 01:08:11,564 What happened to the other chair? 846 01:08:11,671 --> 01:08:14,401 There is a thief in our company. 847 01:08:14,507 --> 01:08:16,407 It's terrible. 848 01:08:16,509 --> 01:08:19,239 He sold the chair to a Finnish aerialist for 10 rubles. 849 01:08:19,345 --> 01:08:21,745 A Finnish aerialist? 850 01:08:21,848 --> 01:08:25,784 Yes. He works at the fair, just outside of town. 851 01:08:25,885 --> 01:08:28,877 - Can I have my 30 rubles now, please? - Twenty! 852 01:08:28,988 --> 01:08:32,048 Y-Y-Yes. Sorry. Twenty. 853 01:08:32,158 --> 01:08:35,217 Twenty. Twenty. Twenty. 854 01:08:35,327 --> 01:08:37,261 Shh. Shh. Shh. 855 01:08:37,362 --> 01:08:40,729 - Again the throat. - Here. Here's your money. 856 01:08:42,568 --> 01:08:44,536 Twenty. Thank you. 857 01:08:44,636 --> 01:08:48,299 Tell me, why are you so interested in these chairs? 858 01:08:48,407 --> 01:08:51,740 - Shut up. - Oh. That's the reason. 859 01:08:51,844 --> 01:08:52,842 Bye. 860 01:09:21,837 --> 01:09:26,274 Well, don't give up, old friend. 861 01:09:26,375 --> 01:09:29,469 Remember the famous Russian proverb: 862 01:09:29,578 --> 01:09:32,945 "The hungrier you get, the tastier the meal." 863 01:09:33,048 --> 01:09:36,108 On the other hand, the French have a proverb: 864 01:09:36,218 --> 01:09:38,818 Merde! 865 01:09:41,090 --> 01:09:44,685 Thy love will banish sorrow 866 01:09:44,794 --> 01:09:49,319 Thy love shall cleanse my grief 867 01:09:49,428 --> 01:09:54,161 The sun will shine tomorrow 868 01:09:54,267 --> 01:09:57,867 My a-a-a-a-anguish 869 01:09:59,972 --> 01:10:02,572 Will be brief 870 01:10:03,042 --> 01:10:06,242 Oh, foolish man. 871 01:10:07,079 --> 01:10:09,775 Foolish, foolish man that I am. 872 01:10:09,882 --> 01:10:13,978 I must not weep. I must count my blessings. 873 01:10:14,086 --> 01:10:16,281 My blessings. 874 01:10:23,996 --> 01:10:27,158 I don't want to live! 875 01:10:30,702 --> 01:10:31,702 Ooh. 876 01:10:33,271 --> 01:10:35,671 Ooh-ooh-ooh! 877 01:10:38,310 --> 01:10:42,474 Thy love shall banish sorrow 878 01:10:42,581 --> 01:10:47,278 Thy love shall cleanse my grief 879 01:11:02,397 --> 01:11:05,797 The chair! 880 01:11:17,946 --> 01:11:20,244 Come down, you thief! 881 01:11:20,349 --> 01:11:22,579 Come down here this instant! 882 01:11:22,684 --> 01:11:25,152 That's my chair! Do you hear me? 883 01:11:25,254 --> 01:11:27,054 My chair! 884 01:11:30,525 --> 01:11:34,086 Listen, you! That's my chair! 885 01:11:34,196 --> 01:11:38,460 Get down, you fool! Get down! You'll kill us both! 886 01:11:40,867 --> 01:11:44,803 I want that chair. Give me that chair! 887 01:12:29,515 --> 01:12:31,315 Oh, Lord. 888 01:12:32,017 --> 01:12:35,507 Oh, Lord, your lamb is lost. 889 01:12:35,619 --> 01:12:39,919 Please help me. Oh, please help me, Lord. 890 01:12:40,023 --> 01:12:42,023 Thank you. 891 01:12:56,205 --> 01:12:59,003 It's mine! Do you hear? Mine! Mine! Mine! 892 01:12:59,108 --> 01:13:01,008 Mine! Mine! 893 01:13:01,110 --> 01:13:04,341 Very nice. Very nice, indeed. 894 01:13:04,447 --> 01:13:06,677 A partner in the firm... 895 01:13:06,782 --> 01:13:09,478 running off with the company's assets! 896 01:13:13,489 --> 01:13:15,719 So you wanna play horsey, huh? 897 01:13:15,825 --> 01:13:19,158 Mine! Mine! Mine! 898 01:13:26,468 --> 01:13:28,698 Father Fyodor! 899 01:13:55,728 --> 01:13:59,562 - Need a hand, mon père? - Oh, come on, God! 900 01:14:15,981 --> 01:14:19,712 The chairman of the board. 901 01:14:19,818 --> 01:14:22,651 - Where is he? - Yah, yah, yah! 902 01:14:22,754 --> 01:14:25,552 Yah, yah, yah! 903 01:14:25,822 --> 01:14:28,622 Yah, yah, yah! 904 01:14:29,025 --> 01:14:32,893 Ah, hate! Hate! Hate! 905 01:14:35,231 --> 01:14:37,324 God sees. God sees all. 906 01:14:37,434 --> 01:14:39,663 Why do you think he gave me the strength... 907 01:14:39,768 --> 01:14:42,931 to climb straight up a mountain wall and deny the same to you? 908 01:14:43,038 --> 01:14:46,269 There must be some reason. Yah-dee-tah-tah! 909 01:14:46,375 --> 01:14:48,866 Oh, God, how I hate him! 910 01:14:48,977 --> 01:14:51,946 He mustn't get away! He mustn't get away! 911 01:14:52,047 --> 01:14:55,016 He mustn't get... Mustn't get away. Mustn't get away. 912 01:14:55,117 --> 01:14:58,052 Fear not, my dear marshal. 913 01:14:58,153 --> 01:15:00,348 He will not get away. 914 01:15:00,456 --> 01:15:03,118 As a matter of fact, he can't get away. 915 01:15:03,225 --> 01:15:07,161 There's no way down. Come on. I'll show you. Come on. 916 01:15:10,265 --> 01:15:13,496 See? No way down. 917 01:15:16,737 --> 01:15:20,002 There's no way down. 918 01:15:20,106 --> 01:15:22,939 He can't get down. He's trapped. 919 01:15:23,042 --> 01:15:26,034 He's trapped. You're trapped! 920 01:15:26,145 --> 01:15:29,239 You're tra-a-a-apped! Yah, yah, yah! 921 01:15:29,348 --> 01:15:32,010 Yah, yah, yah! Yah, yah, yah! 922 01:15:32,118 --> 01:15:35,485 Yah, yah, yah, yah... 923 01:15:45,664 --> 01:15:48,565 Ah. It stopped raining. 924 01:15:50,102 --> 01:15:54,231 It's very quiet. What do you suppose he's doing? 925 01:15:55,874 --> 01:15:57,899 Do you think he found the jewels? 926 01:15:58,009 --> 01:16:01,069 Shh, shh, shh. In a moment... 927 01:16:01,179 --> 01:16:03,739 the jury will bring in a verdict. 928 01:16:05,216 --> 01:16:09,676 Oh, Lord, you're so strict! Oh! 929 01:16:09,787 --> 01:16:10,787 Tsk. 930 01:16:11,789 --> 01:16:14,519 Well, the last chair is in Moscow. 931 01:16:17,527 --> 01:16:20,758 Only 3,000 miles away. 932 01:16:20,863 --> 01:16:25,027 Come, my friend. Let us take a stroll. 933 01:16:25,134 --> 01:16:26,934 Oh, Lord! 934 01:16:28,137 --> 01:16:31,503 Oh, Lord, if this is your pun... 935 01:16:31,606 --> 01:16:35,406 ... ishment. 936 01:16:39,548 --> 01:16:41,948 How did I get here? 937 01:16:47,589 --> 01:16:49,955 There's no way down. 938 01:16:50,058 --> 01:16:53,494 There's absolutely no way down. 939 01:16:53,595 --> 01:16:56,860 I'm gonna need a great deal of help to get down. 940 01:17:00,635 --> 01:17:03,635 Boys! Oh, boys! 941 01:17:06,373 --> 01:17:10,309 Yoo-hoo! Vorobyaninov! 942 01:17:10,411 --> 01:17:13,776 I have always liked you. You know that. 943 01:17:13,879 --> 01:17:17,337 We come from the same village. 944 01:17:17,449 --> 01:17:22,113 For 25 years, I have been your priest. 945 01:17:22,221 --> 01:17:25,657 Oh, for Christ's sake, get me down! 946 01:17:31,163 --> 01:17:36,163 Get... me... down! 947 01:19:51,062 --> 01:19:54,691 - I'm hungry. - Where did you lose the man with the chair? 948 01:19:54,799 --> 01:19:57,789 Look around. Does anything look familiar? 949 01:20:02,238 --> 01:20:05,401 All right. Come on. 950 01:20:20,255 --> 01:20:23,190 I now officially open... 951 01:20:23,291 --> 01:20:26,351 the Moscow Railway Workers'... 952 01:20:26,461 --> 01:20:30,488 Communal House of Recreation. 953 01:20:51,118 --> 01:20:54,552 May it serve to comfort... 954 01:20:54,653 --> 01:20:58,350 those brave heroes of Soviet transportation... 955 01:20:58,457 --> 01:21:02,359 the railway workers of the U.S.S.R.! 956 01:21:07,032 --> 01:21:11,935 A free buffet lunch will be served immediately. 957 01:21:24,215 --> 01:21:27,207 Come on! Come on! There's other people waiting. 958 01:21:29,654 --> 01:21:31,454 Let's go! 959 01:21:37,528 --> 01:21:40,053 What are you doing? Go on! 960 01:21:44,068 --> 01:21:46,901 I didn't get a roll. I didn't get a roll! 961 01:22:05,553 --> 01:22:06,553 Here. 962 01:22:26,207 --> 01:22:29,370 Would you mind very much if I took something from your plate? 963 01:22:29,477 --> 01:22:31,638 I didn't get a chance to get any food. 964 01:22:31,746 --> 01:22:34,509 There was a greedy pig holding up the line. 965 01:22:37,217 --> 01:22:38,617 Animal. 966 01:22:46,992 --> 01:22:48,592 Thirsty. 967 01:23:23,861 --> 01:23:26,461 Ostap. Ostap! 968 01:23:27,565 --> 01:23:29,556 Yes, old man. 969 01:23:30,668 --> 01:23:32,966 The last chair. 970 01:23:44,446 --> 01:23:48,541 See! We are not the only smart ones. 971 01:23:48,649 --> 01:23:51,849 Hello, comrades! 972 01:23:52,353 --> 01:23:56,414 Hello. Hello, comrades. Welcome. 973 01:24:05,866 --> 01:24:06,866 Eat. 974 01:24:10,705 --> 01:24:13,230 Take your eyes off that chair. 975 01:24:13,341 --> 01:24:16,139 I'm gonna check the window. 976 01:24:25,652 --> 01:24:28,452 Mm-hmm. 977 01:24:41,532 --> 01:24:44,330 I have unfastened the window latch... 978 01:24:44,435 --> 01:24:48,496 and we will return tonight after the club has closed. 979 01:24:54,045 --> 01:24:55,045 Shh. 980 01:25:19,870 --> 01:25:22,668 One, two, three! 981 01:25:22,773 --> 01:25:24,373 Come on. 982 01:25:26,410 --> 01:25:28,010 Come on! 983 01:25:39,953 --> 01:25:43,184 - Chair. Where is the chair? - You're sitting on it. 984 01:25:43,290 --> 01:25:46,350 Here. Let me do it. Let me do it! 985 01:26:02,243 --> 01:26:05,701 Well? Well, well, well, well? 986 01:26:08,483 --> 01:26:12,316 - They're not here. - What? 987 01:26:12,419 --> 01:26:15,183 They're not here. 988 01:26:15,289 --> 01:26:18,383 The jewels are not here. 989 01:26:20,494 --> 01:26:24,260 It can't be. It can't be. 990 01:26:24,364 --> 01:26:28,992 It can't be. Do you hear me? It can't be! 991 01:26:31,770 --> 01:26:34,170 What's going on here? 992 01:26:36,108 --> 01:26:38,008 What are you doing? 993 01:26:38,110 --> 01:26:42,240 Where are my jewels? My jewels were in this chair. 994 01:26:42,347 --> 01:26:45,373 They were your jewels? 995 01:26:45,484 --> 01:26:49,180 What do you mean "were"? They are. 996 01:26:49,286 --> 01:26:51,982 Are my jewels. Where are they? 997 01:26:52,089 --> 01:26:55,183 Where are they? Look around you. 998 01:26:55,292 --> 01:26:59,388 See these chess tables, all this fine furniture? 999 01:26:59,497 --> 01:27:01,522 This club was built with them. 1000 01:27:01,632 --> 01:27:03,862 When were they found? 1001 01:27:03,968 --> 01:27:07,870 Four months ago. Right on this spot in the old club. 1002 01:27:07,972 --> 01:27:10,998 Kaminsky was putting up a curtain. 1003 01:27:11,108 --> 01:27:13,338 He was standing on a chair. 1004 01:27:13,444 --> 01:27:16,902 Suddenly, bang, his shoe went right through the seat... 1005 01:27:17,014 --> 01:27:19,312 and all that stuff came tumbling out... 1006 01:27:19,416 --> 01:27:23,111 diamonds, rubies, necklaces. 1007 01:27:23,218 --> 01:27:26,448 It was a miracle. 1008 01:27:27,789 --> 01:27:31,850 No, no. They were mine. 1009 01:27:33,261 --> 01:27:34,261 Mine. 1010 01:27:47,441 --> 01:27:50,877 I'd better get the police! 1011 01:27:50,978 --> 01:27:54,072 Help! Police! Help! 1012 01:28:00,454 --> 01:28:03,752 - See? See? He's mad! - You! Put that down! 1013 01:28:03,857 --> 01:28:08,226 Oh, you wanna play rough, eh? 1014 01:28:08,328 --> 01:28:10,319 That has done it. 1015 01:28:11,832 --> 01:28:14,596 Come on. We better make tracks. 1016 01:28:14,701 --> 01:28:16,758 Never hit a policeman. 1017 01:28:16,868 --> 01:28:19,701 Never, ever hit a policeman. 1018 01:28:41,018 --> 01:28:41,885 Halt! 1019 01:28:41,992 --> 01:28:43,892 - It's too high. - The horse. 1020 01:28:43,994 --> 01:28:46,087 - The horse? - Jump! 1021 01:28:46,196 --> 01:28:48,528 - Come on. - Halt! 1022 01:28:48,632 --> 01:28:51,123 - Come on! - Halt! Halt! 1023 01:30:25,938 --> 01:30:28,554 Why don't you get rid of that thing? 1024 01:30:34,230 --> 01:30:37,165 Listen, old man. 1025 01:30:37,740 --> 01:30:40,395 We have got to split up. 1026 01:30:42,872 --> 01:30:45,466 It's the only sensible thing to do. 1027 01:30:45,575 --> 01:30:48,703 The police are looking for a handsome, young desperado... 1028 01:30:48,812 --> 01:30:52,009 and a crazy old man with a broken chair. 1029 01:30:52,115 --> 01:30:54,481 I think I'll do better without you. 1030 01:30:56,553 --> 01:30:59,215 Look, what are you shaking your head for? 1031 01:30:59,322 --> 01:31:02,289 I'm not taking a vote. I'm telling you something. 1032 01:31:02,390 --> 01:31:05,222 This partnership is over, dissolved, finished. 1033 01:31:05,325 --> 01:31:07,885 The company is bankrupt. 1034 01:31:10,063 --> 01:31:14,471 Look. Here. Look, you maniac. 1035 01:31:14,600 --> 01:31:16,131 Three kopecks! 1036 01:31:16,426 --> 01:31:19,376 How far can we go together on three kopecks? 1037 01:31:20,374 --> 01:31:23,810 I simply can't afford you anymore! 1038 01:32:37,547 --> 01:32:41,643 Epilepsy, my friends! Epilepsy! 1039 01:32:41,751 --> 01:32:44,845 The same disease that struck down... 1040 01:32:44,954 --> 01:32:48,144 our own beloved Dostoievsky. 1041 01:32:48,502 --> 01:32:49,527 Give. 1042 01:32:50,771 --> 01:32:51,693 Give... 1043 01:32:52,800 --> 01:32:56,528 from the bottom of your hearts. 73999

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