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[Moaning]
2
00:00:30,663 --> 00:00:32,631
[Gasps]
3
00:00:32,732 --> 00:00:35,132
Natasha Nikolaevna.
Natasha Nikolaevna.
4
00:00:35,235 --> 00:00:37,135
[Door Opens]
5
00:00:37,237 --> 00:00:41,298
- [Gasps]
- I'm going. Call the priest.
6
00:00:41,408 --> 00:00:44,468
Get my son-in-law. Hurry!
7
00:00:44,577 --> 00:00:46,477
I must talk to him.
8
00:00:46,579 --> 00:00:50,037
There's something
I must tell him before I die.
9
00:00:50,150 --> 00:00:53,278
There, there, Claudia lvanovna.
You will be all right. Just...
10
00:00:53,386 --> 00:00:55,718
[Groaning]
11
00:00:55,822 --> 00:00:58,382
Oh.
[Speaking Russian]
12
00:00:58,491 --> 00:01:00,459
Kolya!
13
00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:02,858
Kolya!
14
00:01:02,962 --> 00:01:04,930
Kolya!
15
00:01:05,999 --> 00:01:08,365
Kolya, quick.
Run to the town hall.
16
00:01:08,468 --> 00:01:10,868
Tell Vorobyaninov
his mother-in-law is dying.
17
00:01:10,970 --> 00:01:13,632
Tell him to hurry.
I'm going to get the priest.
18
00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:17,642
Oh.
[Muttering]
19
00:01:29,522 --> 00:01:33,014
Bozhe moi.
That poor woman.
20
00:01:33,126 --> 00:01:35,026
That poor woman.
21
00:01:35,128 --> 00:01:37,358
Who is going to take
care of me?
22
00:01:42,368 --> 00:01:45,337
[Chorus Vocalizing]
23
00:01:46,673 --> 00:01:48,573
[Speaking Russian]
24
00:01:51,411 --> 00:01:55,177
It's in the hands of God now.
All we can do is pray.
25
00:01:55,281 --> 00:01:57,249
Thank you for coming, Father.
26
00:01:58,284 --> 00:02:00,184
It was my pleasure.
27
00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:02,481
Go to her.
Go to her, my child.
28
00:02:02,589 --> 00:02:04,853
Comfort her.
She needs you.
29
00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:06,983
Courage. Courage.
30
00:02:08,027 --> 00:02:09,961
[Sighs]
31
00:02:16,603 --> 00:02:18,537
- Father Fyo...
- Ooh!
32
00:02:18,638 --> 00:02:20,538
- Dor.
- [Groaning]
33
00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:23,074
She's inside.
Not to worry.
34
00:02:23,176 --> 00:02:25,838
I, uh...
Courage.
35
00:02:36,656 --> 00:02:39,352
Oh. Oh.
36
00:02:39,459 --> 00:02:41,427
Oh, my dear neighbor.
37
00:02:41,528 --> 00:02:43,428
I'm so glad you're here.
38
00:02:43,530 --> 00:02:45,828
She has been calling for you.
39
00:02:45,932 --> 00:02:47,957
I just saw the priest.
40
00:02:48,067 --> 00:02:50,592
He seemed in a great hurry.
41
00:02:50,703 --> 00:02:53,900
He was very peculiar.
Very peculiar.
42
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:55,975
She just confessed.
43
00:02:57,043 --> 00:02:59,011
How is she?
44
00:02:59,112 --> 00:03:01,103
She is doing splendidly.
45
00:03:01,214 --> 00:03:04,012
The doctor says
she'll be on her feet in a week.
46
00:03:04,117 --> 00:03:07,348
She'll be dead before morning.
She looks terrible.
47
00:03:07,453 --> 00:03:09,887
I'd better go in.
48
00:03:09,989 --> 00:03:11,957
[Door Opens]
49
00:03:12,058 --> 00:03:14,993
lppolit, it's you. You've come.
50
00:03:15,094 --> 00:03:18,188
Yes. I'm here.
51
00:03:18,298 --> 00:03:20,892
- It's me.
- Oh, thank God.
52
00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:23,400
Ippolit...
53
00:03:23,503 --> 00:03:26,597
do you remember
our dining room suite?
54
00:03:28,675 --> 00:03:31,701
Dining room suite?
55
00:03:31,811 --> 00:03:33,802
In the big house in Stargorod.
56
00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:39,041
- Before the revolution.
- Ah, yes.
57
00:03:39,152 --> 00:03:41,120
Beautiful furniture.
58
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:43,712
Made by Hambs of London.
59
00:03:46,693 --> 00:03:50,026
Ippolit, my jewels.
60
00:03:50,129 --> 00:03:52,791
My diamonds.
61
00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:55,800
I sewed them into
one of the chairs.
62
00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:59,303
- What?
- My diamonds. My jewels.
63
00:04:01,808 --> 00:04:05,403
I sewed them
into one of the chairs.
64
00:04:07,714 --> 00:04:10,808
My gorgeous diamond tiara.
65
00:04:12,385 --> 00:04:15,980
I wore it when I was
presented at court.
66
00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:21,860
- My beautiful pearl earrings.
- [Whispers] Pearl.
67
00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:26,793
- My emerald brooch.
- Emerald.
68
00:04:26,899 --> 00:04:29,891
- My diamond necklace.
- [Whispers] Diamond.
69
00:04:30,003 --> 00:04:33,769
The little gold cat
with the ruby eyes.
70
00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:37,102
Stuffed in a ch...
71
00:04:37,210 --> 00:04:41,977
How could you do
such a thing?
72
00:04:42,081 --> 00:04:44,641
Why didn't you
give them to me?
73
00:04:44,751 --> 00:04:46,946
Why should I have
given them to you...
74
00:04:47,053 --> 00:04:50,250
when you had already squandered away
half my daughter's estate...
75
00:04:50,356 --> 00:04:52,688
with your parties
and your horses?
76
00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:55,920
Why didn't you take them out?
Why did you leave them there?
77
00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:58,020
I didn't have time!
78
00:04:58,131 --> 00:05:00,895
You remember how quickly
we had to flee?
79
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:03,025
They were left
in the chair.
80
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:05,832
Bozhe moi.
81
00:05:05,938 --> 00:05:08,634
Bozhe moi.!
82
00:05:08,741 --> 00:05:12,507
50,000 rubles' worth
of jewelry...
83
00:05:12,612 --> 00:05:14,603
stuffed in a chair!
84
00:05:16,282 --> 00:05:19,911
Heaven knows
who may sit on that chair!
85
00:05:20,019 --> 00:05:22,988
If it's still a chair!
86
00:05:23,089 --> 00:05:26,547
It may be firewood by now.
87
00:05:28,661 --> 00:05:31,687
How could you do such a thing?
88
00:05:34,534 --> 00:05:37,799
How could you do
such a thing?
89
00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:45,307
How could you do
such a thing?
90
00:05:47,780 --> 00:05:50,340
Please, lppolit.
91
00:05:51,584 --> 00:05:54,644
I know I did wrong, but...
92
00:05:54,754 --> 00:05:57,382
please forgive me.
93
00:06:02,862 --> 00:06:05,092
Of course.
94
00:06:07,166 --> 00:06:09,634
Of course, maman.
95
00:06:10,670 --> 00:06:13,468
Of course I forgive you.
96
00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:24,577
Thank you.
97
00:06:24,684 --> 00:06:28,677
Now I can die in peace.
98
00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:38,425
[Man Singing]
99
00:06:48,841 --> 00:06:51,810
[Singing Continues]
100
00:07:04,791 --> 00:07:08,852
[Singing Continues]
101
00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:36,948
[Singing Continues]
102
00:08:42,855 --> 00:08:46,882
[Singing Continues]
103
00:09:02,575 --> 00:09:04,475
[Ends]
104
00:09:08,948 --> 00:09:11,439
Give! Open your heart!
105
00:09:15,821 --> 00:09:19,120
Thank you, sir.
Thank you. Very generous of you.
106
00:09:32,972 --> 00:09:35,770
Now there's a healthy girl.
107
00:09:46,085 --> 00:09:48,053
What can I say,
little father?
108
00:09:48,154 --> 00:09:50,349
It's a miracle.
I can see.
109
00:09:50,456 --> 00:09:52,686
I can walk.
Rejoice!
110
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:07,402
Do you love me?
111
00:10:07,506 --> 00:10:11,465
Well, let's just say
that I am very much in lust with you.
112
00:10:11,577 --> 00:10:14,045
- [Key Clicking In Lock]
- Oh, my God. My husband!
113
00:10:14,146 --> 00:10:16,114
Your husband?
114
00:10:16,215 --> 00:10:20,379
Out goes the bad air,in goes the good air.
115
00:10:20,486 --> 00:10:23,216
- Out goes the bad air...
- What's going on?
116
00:10:23,322 --> 00:10:26,780
- Who are you?
- This woman is my wife. I'm her husband.
117
00:10:26,892 --> 00:10:30,487
She fainted just outside the door.
I'm giving her artificial respiration.
118
00:10:30,596 --> 00:10:34,362
How dare you allow a frail creaturelike this to carry heavy bundles.
119
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:37,527
- Has she ever fainted before?
- Never. Maybe once. I don't know.
120
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:39,730
All right. Come on.Take over.
121
00:10:39,839 --> 00:10:41,830
Now remember,
out goes the bad air...
122
00:10:41,941 --> 00:10:43,841
in goes the good air.
123
00:10:43,943 --> 00:10:46,844
[Together]
Out goes the bad air, in goes the good air.
124
00:10:46,946 --> 00:10:49,813
- I should report you for this, but we'll let it go.
- Thank you.
125
00:10:49,915 --> 00:10:52,816
You are very kind. It will never happen again.
I promise. Never.
126
00:10:52,918 --> 00:10:57,150
- See that it doesn't.!
- Out goes the bad air, in goes the good air.
127
00:10:57,256 --> 00:11:00,225
Out goes the good air,
in goes the bad air.
128
00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:03,159
Out goes the good air,
in goes the bad air.
129
00:11:03,262 --> 00:11:06,390
- [Birds Twittering]
- [Dog Barking In Distance]
130
00:11:26,752 --> 00:11:28,720
[Creaks]
131
00:11:39,131 --> 00:11:41,099
[Snoring]
132
00:11:50,076 --> 00:11:53,045
[Snoring Continues]
133
00:12:05,825 --> 00:12:07,759
- [Snorts, Mutters]
- There, there.
134
00:12:07,860 --> 00:12:10,829
There. Oh, boy.
You must have fallen.
135
00:12:11,997 --> 00:12:13,965
Thank you.
136
00:12:14,066 --> 00:12:17,058
- Who are you?
- Ostap Bender at your service.
137
00:12:17,169 --> 00:12:19,330
Cigarette?
138
00:12:22,141 --> 00:12:24,837
Thank you.
139
00:12:24,944 --> 00:12:26,844
Tell me, uh, comrade...
140
00:12:26,946 --> 00:12:29,676
"Comrade." "Comrade."
141
00:12:29,782 --> 00:12:32,080
Everybody calls me comrade.
142
00:12:32,184 --> 00:12:36,018
Everybody in the new
Soviet Union is a comrade.
143
00:12:36,122 --> 00:12:38,852
People you don't know,strangers.
144
00:12:38,958 --> 00:12:40,949
Everybody says "comrade."
145
00:12:42,061 --> 00:12:44,655
Oh, I miss Russia.
146
00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:46,755
Hmm, yes.
147
00:12:46,866 --> 00:12:50,529
Tell me, uh, what goes on
in this great house?
148
00:12:50,636 --> 00:12:53,400
Mostly dying.
149
00:12:53,506 --> 00:12:55,406
Dying.
150
00:12:55,508 --> 00:12:59,808
It's an old-age home
for weary, old ladies.
151
00:12:59,912 --> 00:13:04,246
They tippy-toe in,
they have a little bowl of porridge...
152
00:13:04,350 --> 00:13:06,978
and... [Raspberry]
that's it.
153
00:13:07,086 --> 00:13:10,419
Oh, what a pity.
What a pity.
154
00:13:10,523 --> 00:13:12,753
See, I thought
it was a hotel.
155
00:13:12,858 --> 00:13:15,918
You, uh... You don't happen to know
of any nearby, do you?
156
00:13:16,028 --> 00:13:19,725
You see, I've come a long way,
and I'm seeking suitable lodgings for the night.
157
00:13:19,832 --> 00:13:22,164
Oh, uh, by the by...
158
00:13:22,268 --> 00:13:24,736
do you happen to havea spare bed down there?
159
00:13:24,837 --> 00:13:26,805
[Exhales Deeply]
160
00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:31,534
[lmitating English Accent]
No, I don't, Mr. By the By.
161
00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:34,613
I don't happen to have
a spare bed.
162
00:13:34,713 --> 00:13:37,375
There isn't a spare bed
in all of Russia!
163
00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:39,849
People are sleeping
between each other...
164
00:13:39,952 --> 00:13:41,943
and you're talking spare bed.
165
00:13:42,054 --> 00:13:45,319
You make me laugh.
Ho, wah, wah, wah, wah.
166
00:13:45,424 --> 00:13:48,359
"Spare bed."
You must be nuts.
167
00:13:51,730 --> 00:13:53,698
- [Shatters]
- Listen.
168
00:13:53,799 --> 00:13:55,699
I'll tell you what.
169
00:13:55,801 --> 00:13:58,099
If you'll buy me a drink...
170
00:13:58,204 --> 00:14:00,172
you can sleep on the floor.
171
00:14:01,407 --> 00:14:04,342
Done. Come on.
172
00:14:04,443 --> 00:14:07,844
What are you doing in Stargorod?You look to me like a Muscovite.
173
00:14:07,947 --> 00:14:10,541
Listen, tell me. Tell me.
Who lived here in the old days?
174
00:14:10,649 --> 00:14:13,914
Oh, in the old days
was my master...
175
00:14:14,019 --> 00:14:17,477
Ippolit Matveyevich
Vorobyaninov.
176
00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:20,787
He was a marshal
of the nobility.
177
00:14:20,893 --> 00:14:24,488
I loved him.
He hardly ever beat us.
178
00:14:24,597 --> 00:14:27,566
Ah. And whatever became
of your lovable master?
179
00:14:27,666 --> 00:14:31,227
One night, about 10 years ago,
was a fearful noise.
180
00:14:31,337 --> 00:14:33,965
It was bombs and cannons
and soldiers shooting.
181
00:14:34,073 --> 00:14:35,973
It was terrible, terrible.
182
00:14:36,075 --> 00:14:38,509
Oh, yes.
I think it was called the revolution.
183
00:14:38,611 --> 00:14:41,603
That was it. The revolution.
184
00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:45,309
You're smart.
You're smart and you're gorgeous.
185
00:14:45,417 --> 00:14:47,544
You're okay.
186
00:14:47,653 --> 00:14:49,621
Anyways...
187
00:14:50,756 --> 00:14:53,247
they all run away.
188
00:14:54,827 --> 00:14:57,387
Well, come on,
old boy.
189
00:14:57,496 --> 00:14:59,896
Let us see
how drunk...
190
00:14:59,999 --> 00:15:02,991
two Russians can get
on one ruble.
191
00:15:03,102 --> 00:15:05,434
I like that.
Two Russians, one ruble.
192
00:15:37,436 --> 00:15:41,236
Ah. Ivan, fetch
the marshal's horse.
193
00:15:41,340 --> 00:15:43,501
He's coming.
He's coming.
194
00:15:57,356 --> 00:15:59,347
Master.
195
00:16:05,731 --> 00:16:08,029
I love him.
I love him.
196
00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:14,732
Please, dear, hurry home.But don't gallop.
197
00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:17,934
"Don't gallop."
Do you hear that, Petya?
198
00:16:18,043 --> 00:16:21,638
"Don't gallop,"
but "Hurry home."
199
00:16:21,747 --> 00:16:25,114
That's your job. You'll have to puzzle it out.
It's too much for me.
200
00:16:25,217 --> 00:16:27,185
[Ivanovna]Ippolit, take care.
201
00:16:27,286 --> 00:16:29,311
Don't drink too much,
and don't gamble.
202
00:16:29,421 --> 00:16:31,651
And stay away
from the gypsies.
203
00:16:31,757 --> 00:16:35,523
- Ils sont voleurs.
- Ch�re maman, restez calme.
204
00:16:35,627 --> 00:16:38,095
Tout va bien.
Tikon, you idiot, my gloves.
205
00:16:38,197 --> 00:16:40,188
There, master.
206
00:16:43,202 --> 00:16:45,227
I love him.
I love him.
207
00:16:46,305 --> 00:16:49,274
[Birds Twittering]
208
00:16:57,116 --> 00:16:59,016
[Door Opens]
209
00:16:59,118 --> 00:17:01,746
Here's your castle.
210
00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:05,017
Drink vodka, we talk.We have some fun.
211
00:17:05,124 --> 00:17:08,093
You know what we can...
212
00:17:08,193 --> 00:17:10,161
do.
213
00:17:12,131 --> 00:17:14,531
Master?
214
00:17:14,633 --> 00:17:15,964
Tikon.
215
00:17:16,068 --> 00:17:18,036
Master?
216
00:17:19,138 --> 00:17:21,038
Is it really him?
217
00:17:21,140 --> 00:17:23,973
It's impossible!
It can't be!
218
00:17:24,076 --> 00:17:25,976
It can't be!
219
00:17:26,078 --> 00:17:28,205
It can't be!
It can't be!
220
00:17:28,313 --> 00:17:30,508
Oh, ma...
[Groans]
221
00:17:30,616 --> 00:17:33,050
Oh, that's him.
That's him.
222
00:17:33,152 --> 00:17:35,484
That's my master.
223
00:17:35,587 --> 00:17:38,181
- [Both Laughing]
- Oh, master, master.
224
00:17:38,290 --> 00:17:40,349
- Here, Tikon.
- Oh, so good to see you.
225
00:17:40,459 --> 00:17:44,327
Here is a ruble. You go have some vodka,
and you don't come back for a bit.
226
00:17:44,430 --> 00:17:47,490
- Vodka.
- Your master and I have business to discuss.
227
00:17:47,599 --> 00:17:49,499
- [Groans]
- Come on.
228
00:17:49,601 --> 00:17:51,501
- Business. Business.
- Come on.
229
00:17:51,603 --> 00:17:54,071
Tikon...
230
00:17:54,173 --> 00:17:58,132
you're not to say a word
to anyone about my being here.
231
00:17:58,243 --> 00:18:00,302
It is secret.
232
00:18:04,349 --> 00:18:07,614
[Whispering]
I'm not to tell anyone my master is in Stargorod.
233
00:18:07,719 --> 00:18:11,712
It's a secret.My master told me a secret.
234
00:18:16,795 --> 00:18:18,695
So...
235
00:18:18,797 --> 00:18:21,595
you'd prefer to keep
your whereabouts a secret.
236
00:18:21,700 --> 00:18:23,600
Very interesting.
237
00:18:23,702 --> 00:18:25,966
Who are you?
238
00:18:26,071 --> 00:18:29,598
What is this business
you have to discuss with me?
239
00:18:30,676 --> 00:18:33,201
I have no business with you.
240
00:18:33,312 --> 00:18:35,542
What do you want?
241
00:18:35,647 --> 00:18:37,547
Oh, I don't know.
242
00:18:37,649 --> 00:18:41,107
I guess maybe it depends
upon what you're hiding.
243
00:18:41,220 --> 00:18:45,623
- Maybe this will shed a little light on the matter.
- Give me that. That's mine!
244
00:18:45,724 --> 00:18:48,693
Oh, how very impressive.
245
00:18:49,728 --> 00:18:51,696
This ought to fetch
quite a lot.
246
00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:55,824
Please give me that paper.
It's personal property.
247
00:18:55,934 --> 00:19:00,633
Oh, haven't you heard?
There is no personal property in the Soviet Union.
248
00:19:00,739 --> 00:19:02,764
Everything belongs
to the people.
249
00:19:02,875 --> 00:19:05,275
Will you please
give me that paper?
250
00:19:05,377 --> 00:19:08,710
It is a private matter,
and I am not at liberty to discuss it.
251
00:19:08,814 --> 00:19:11,783
Yes, of course. Of course.
One shouldn't interfere in private matters.
252
00:19:11,884 --> 00:19:14,785
It's considered gauche.
There you are.
253
00:19:14,887 --> 00:19:17,720
Now, I must be off.
254
00:19:20,626 --> 00:19:23,823
- Where are you going?
- Ah, the eternal question.
255
00:19:23,929 --> 00:19:25,829
Quo vadis?
256
00:19:25,931 --> 00:19:29,867
Well, if you must know,
I am "vadising" off to gossip with the secret police.
257
00:19:34,473 --> 00:19:38,170
- "Secret police"?
- Well, what can I do, old cock?
258
00:19:38,277 --> 00:19:41,474
After all, I am a patriotic
citizen of the Soviet Union.
259
00:19:41,580 --> 00:19:45,072
It is my sacred duty
to turn you in.
260
00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:49,848
Now, maybe if you weren't such a selfish pig,
we could do business.
261
00:19:49,955 --> 00:19:51,855
- I can't.
- I'm going.
262
00:19:51,957 --> 00:19:53,515
- Wait.
- Why?
263
00:19:53,625 --> 00:19:55,252
- Let's talk.
- About what?
264
00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:57,055
- Things.
- What things?
265
00:19:57,162 --> 00:19:58,857
- I don't know. Situation...
- I'm going.
266
00:19:58,964 --> 00:20:00,090
- Wait.
- Why?
267
00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:01,530
- Let's talk.
- About what?
268
00:20:01,633 --> 00:20:02,725
- It.
- What's "it"?
269
00:20:02,834 --> 00:20:04,233
- You know.
- I know what?
270
00:20:04,336 --> 00:20:06,998
- What we're talking about.
- We're talking about nothing. I'm going.
271
00:20:07,105 --> 00:20:08,231
- You mustn't.
- I must.
272
00:20:08,340 --> 00:20:09,364
- Why?
- The reward.
273
00:20:09,474 --> 00:20:10,805
- What reward?
- For turning you in.
274
00:20:10,909 --> 00:20:11,898
- Wait.
- Why?
275
00:20:12,010 --> 00:20:13,136
- We'll talk...
- About what?
276
00:20:13,245 --> 00:20:16,112
About the diamonds,
the diamonds, the diamonds!
277
00:20:18,450 --> 00:20:20,884
The diamonds.
278
00:20:25,424 --> 00:20:27,915
And most of this stuff
was purchased...
279
00:20:28,026 --> 00:20:31,223
20 or 30 years ago
for about 50,000 rubles, hmm?
280
00:20:31,330 --> 00:20:33,298
Yes.
281
00:20:33,398 --> 00:20:35,457
That means that today...
282
00:20:35,567 --> 00:20:41,472
they'd probably be worth
between 150,000 and 200,000.
283
00:20:42,708 --> 00:20:44,608
As much as that?
284
00:20:44,710 --> 00:20:47,008
Not a kopeck less.
285
00:20:47,112 --> 00:20:49,410
And maybe more.
286
00:20:49,514 --> 00:20:53,951
I've got to find
those chairs.
287
00:20:55,487 --> 00:20:57,387
[Cackles]
288
00:20:57,489 --> 00:20:59,650
Tikon is back.
289
00:20:59,758 --> 00:21:02,693
- Tikon, come here.
- Coming, master.
290
00:21:03,962 --> 00:21:06,453
- Tikon...
- Coming. I'm coming.
291
00:21:06,565 --> 00:21:10,126
Coming, master. I'm coming.
Coming. Coming. Coming.
292
00:21:10,235 --> 00:21:13,329
Coming. Coming.
Coming. Coming.
293
00:21:13,438 --> 00:21:16,168
I'm coming, master.
I'm coming.
294
00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:19,244
I'm coming.I'm coming, master.
295
00:21:19,344 --> 00:21:21,278
I'm coming.
I'm coming, master.
296
00:21:21,380 --> 00:21:24,975
- Tikon.
- You see? I'm here.
297
00:21:25,083 --> 00:21:28,883
Tikon, the furniture.
What happened to the furniture?
298
00:21:28,987 --> 00:21:30,978
- The furniture.
- Yes, the furniture.
299
00:21:31,089 --> 00:21:34,081
- What happened to the furniture?
- The furniture?
300
00:21:34,192 --> 00:21:36,956
What happened
to the furniture?
301
00:21:37,062 --> 00:21:39,030
[Snoring]
302
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:43,893
Tikon. Tikon.
303
00:21:44,002 --> 00:21:45,970
[Snoring Continues]
304
00:21:47,072 --> 00:21:49,233
[Sighs]
305
00:21:49,341 --> 00:21:51,400
Well, cross-examination
of the witness...
306
00:21:51,510 --> 00:21:54,001
will have to be adjourned
until tomorrow morning.
307
00:21:55,047 --> 00:21:57,015
Let's go to bed.
308
00:22:00,952 --> 00:22:04,479
[Chorus Vocalizing]
309
00:22:11,763 --> 00:22:13,788
Oh, thou who knowest all...
310
00:22:14,833 --> 00:22:16,858
You know.
311
00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:24,008
[Snoring]
312
00:22:24,109 --> 00:22:26,077
[Rooster Crowing]
313
00:22:27,746 --> 00:22:29,714
[Crowing Continues]
314
00:22:33,985 --> 00:22:35,953
Tikon.
315
00:22:36,054 --> 00:22:38,545
Tikon.
316
00:22:38,657 --> 00:22:40,557
Master. Hmm.
317
00:22:40,659 --> 00:22:43,287
- Oh, master, you're still...
- Shh.
318
00:22:43,395 --> 00:22:45,454
[Vorobyaninov]Where is the furniture?
319
00:22:45,564 --> 00:22:47,828
- The furniture?
- Yes, Tikon.
320
00:22:47,933 --> 00:22:49,867
Where is the furniture?
321
00:22:49,968 --> 00:22:52,801
You mean upstairs
in the house?
322
00:22:52,904 --> 00:22:54,804
[Vorobyaninov]Yes.
323
00:22:54,906 --> 00:22:57,204
Some of it is still there.
324
00:22:57,309 --> 00:23:01,507
The velvet sofa is there.
It's a mess now.
325
00:23:01,613 --> 00:23:05,071
And the andirons.
They kept the andirons.
326
00:23:05,183 --> 00:23:07,811
Did they keep the chairs?
327
00:23:07,919 --> 00:23:10,911
There was a dining room suite
with 12 chairs...
328
00:23:11,022 --> 00:23:12,922
made by Hambs of London.
329
00:23:14,092 --> 00:23:17,619
They were upholstered
in gold brocade.
330
00:23:17,729 --> 00:23:20,254
Do you remember?
331
00:23:20,365 --> 00:23:24,597
Twelve chairs. Walnut.
Covered in gold brocade.
332
00:23:24,703 --> 00:23:26,295
Yes! Yes!
That's them! That's them!
333
00:23:26,405 --> 00:23:28,066
They're gone.
334
00:23:28,173 --> 00:23:30,937
[Growling]
335
00:23:31,042 --> 00:23:33,169
- All but one.
- Where is it?
336
00:23:33,278 --> 00:23:36,042
The pantry,
outside the kitchen.
337
00:23:36,148 --> 00:23:39,242
Sits there.
A major. A beauty.
338
00:23:39,351 --> 00:23:42,616
Good. Now what happened
to the other 11 chairs?
339
00:23:42,721 --> 00:23:45,656
One morning, a big van came...
340
00:23:45,757 --> 00:23:48,624
from the Bureau of Housing,
took everything.
341
00:23:48,727 --> 00:23:51,093
- The Bureau of Housing?
- Shh.
342
00:23:51,196 --> 00:23:54,563
Now, think, Tikon, what street is
the Bureau of Housing on?
343
00:23:59,471 --> 00:24:04,170
Headache! Headache!
I have such a headache!
344
00:24:04,276 --> 00:24:07,143
- What I drink last night.
- All right. Never mind. I'll find it.
345
00:24:07,245 --> 00:24:09,839
What do you mean
you'll find it?
346
00:24:09,948 --> 00:24:12,007
Look, I don't give a damn
who finds it.
347
00:24:12,117 --> 00:24:14,312
All right.It's time for action.
348
00:24:14,419 --> 00:24:16,979
You will go upstairs and occupy
chair number one...
349
00:24:17,088 --> 00:24:19,386
and I will lead the attackat the Bureau of Housing.
350
00:24:19,491 --> 00:24:19,991
- I'm off.
- Uh, wait.
351
00:24:19,991 --> 00:24:22,186
- I'm off.
- Uh, wait.
352
00:24:22,294 --> 00:24:24,785
What shall I tell them?
353
00:24:24,896 --> 00:24:28,332
You will tell them that you are
Cousin Michael from Kiev...
354
00:24:28,433 --> 00:24:31,402
and you will say that
all the Vorobyaninovs are dead...
355
00:24:31,503 --> 00:24:35,496
and that you are willing to pay
hard rubles for something...
356
00:24:35,607 --> 00:24:37,905
to remember them by.
357
00:24:40,378 --> 00:24:42,938
[Sighs]
358
00:24:43,048 --> 00:24:46,347
Cousin Michael from Kiev.
All the Vorobyaninovs are dead.
359
00:24:46,451 --> 00:24:50,114
I am Cousin Michael from Kiev.
All the Vorobyaninovs are dead.
360
00:24:58,296 --> 00:25:01,026
- Yes?
- I am Cousin Kiev from Vorobyaninov.
361
00:25:01,132 --> 00:25:04,067
- All the Michaels are dead.
- What?
362
00:25:08,707 --> 00:25:10,607
What can I do for you?
363
00:25:10,709 --> 00:25:12,836
I am Cousin... Chair!
364
00:25:23,488 --> 00:25:27,390
[Audio Sped Up, High-pitched]
Aaah! Give me that... I want that chair!
365
00:25:27,492 --> 00:25:29,426
- Stop or I'll call the police!
- Police?
366
00:25:30,996 --> 00:25:34,090
- Give it to me! Give it to me!
- No! No! No! No!
367
00:25:34,199 --> 00:25:37,691
Aaah!
[Groaning]
368
00:25:47,045 --> 00:25:49,275
[Both Yelling, High-pitched]
369
00:25:50,382 --> 00:25:52,350
[Yelling Continues]
370
00:25:58,990 --> 00:26:01,424
Father Fyodor.
371
00:26:01,526 --> 00:26:03,585
[Panting]
372
00:26:06,064 --> 00:26:08,498
How are ya?
[Chuckles Nervously]
373
00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:12,730
Well, this is disgusting.
374
00:26:12,837 --> 00:26:15,601
This is truly disgusting.
375
00:26:15,707 --> 00:26:18,073
Not so fast! Not so fast!
376
00:26:18,176 --> 00:26:20,269
- That's my chair.
- Ah.
377
00:26:20,378 --> 00:26:24,007
It's the Holy Father.
Taking up a collection, are you?
378
00:26:25,083 --> 00:26:27,984
- Here's a donation.
- [Groans]
379
00:26:29,087 --> 00:26:30,645
Thank you.
380
00:26:33,124 --> 00:26:35,251
[Both Yelling, High-pitched]
381
00:26:35,360 --> 00:26:37,260
- [Groans]
- [Groans]
382
00:26:37,362 --> 00:26:40,763
- Why are you after my chair?
- It's not yours.
383
00:26:40,865 --> 00:26:43,993
- Then whose is it?
- It's nationalized property.
384
00:26:44,102 --> 00:26:46,969
- It belongs to the workers.
- Did you say the workers?
385
00:26:47,072 --> 00:26:49,438
- Yes. The workers.
- Maybe the Holy Father...
386
00:26:49,541 --> 00:26:51,771
is a member
of the Communist Party.
387
00:26:51,876 --> 00:26:54,276
- Maybe.
- But the party is for atheists.
388
00:26:54,379 --> 00:26:56,643
How can a priest
join the party?
389
00:26:56,748 --> 00:26:58,682
- [Blow Lands]
- [Groans]
390
00:26:58,783 --> 00:27:00,808
The church must keep up
with the times.
391
00:27:07,258 --> 00:27:08,953
[Grunts]
392
00:27:31,650 --> 00:27:34,744
How did you find out
about the jewels?
393
00:27:34,853 --> 00:27:37,481
People talk.
394
00:27:38,590 --> 00:27:42,117
Why, you disgusting creature.
395
00:27:42,227 --> 00:27:45,424
You used the sacred sacrament
of confession...
396
00:27:45,530 --> 00:27:48,021
to further your own ends.!
397
00:27:48,133 --> 00:27:51,864
- Not really.
- Well, you are just about...
398
00:27:51,970 --> 00:27:54,302
the most
contemptible creature...
399
00:27:54,406 --> 00:27:57,773
it has ever been
my misfortune to meet.
400
00:27:57,876 --> 00:28:02,313
You're not worth
spitting on!
401
00:28:02,414 --> 00:28:05,941
- Well, you are!
- [Groans]
402
00:28:06,051 --> 00:28:08,815
Come back, you coward.!
403
00:28:08,920 --> 00:28:11,514
You'd better keep awayfrom my chairs.!
404
00:28:13,258 --> 00:28:15,692
Finders, keepers!
405
00:28:20,565 --> 00:28:23,159
Hmm. It's just like
a detective story.
406
00:28:23,268 --> 00:28:25,759
We have a mysterious rival.
407
00:28:29,174 --> 00:28:31,108
Hey, uh, you'd better
get out of here.
408
00:28:31,209 --> 00:28:33,109
You look rather conspicuous.
409
00:28:33,211 --> 00:28:35,406
You're right.
You're right.
410
00:28:35,513 --> 00:28:39,040
Oh, how I hate him.
Oh, God, how I hate him.
411
00:28:39,150 --> 00:28:41,118
Go.
412
00:28:45,323 --> 00:28:47,416
[Chattering]
413
00:29:13,284 --> 00:29:17,914
[Chorus Vocalizing]
414
00:30:20,251 --> 00:30:23,550
[Mumbling]
415
00:30:24,589 --> 00:30:26,523
"Hambs."
416
00:30:26,624 --> 00:30:30,082
"Drapes."
[Mumbling]
417
00:30:33,431 --> 00:30:35,331
Here we are.
418
00:30:35,433 --> 00:30:37,025
[Grunts]
419
00:30:38,837 --> 00:30:40,805
[Groans]
420
00:31:00,558 --> 00:31:02,526
Hello.
421
00:31:03,895 --> 00:31:05,692
Ah.
422
00:31:09,033 --> 00:31:11,001
Oh.
423
00:31:15,273 --> 00:31:17,707
[Mumbling]
424
00:31:20,845 --> 00:31:23,712
That's it.[Stammering]
425
00:31:23,815 --> 00:31:25,749
[Laughing]
426
00:31:26,784 --> 00:31:29,412
- Can I help you?
- [Screams]
427
00:31:29,520 --> 00:31:31,488
- Well?
- [Whimpering]
428
00:31:32,824 --> 00:31:34,792
[Sobbing]
429
00:31:36,661 --> 00:31:39,892
I didn't know
anybody was... here.
430
00:31:41,866 --> 00:31:44,596
I came in and...
431
00:31:44,702 --> 00:31:46,602
l...
432
00:31:46,704 --> 00:31:50,140
Persons seeking information are to wait
in the waiting area prescribed for them.
433
00:31:50,241 --> 00:31:52,641
It is a criminal offense
for unauthorized citizens...
434
00:31:52,744 --> 00:31:54,644
to tamper with official files.
435
00:31:54,746 --> 00:31:57,044
Oh, yes. Yes, to be sure.
To be sure.
436
00:31:59,350 --> 00:32:02,945
- Remove your hat.
- Oh.
437
00:32:03,054 --> 00:32:06,956
All right. Now that you are in the proper area,
would you please state your business?
438
00:32:07,058 --> 00:32:09,526
Chairs. Dining room...
439
00:32:09,627 --> 00:32:12,061
walnut, made by Hambs...
440
00:32:12,163 --> 00:32:17,191
belonging to a certain
lppolit Matveyevich Vorobyaninov.
441
00:32:17,302 --> 00:32:19,270
- Tell me, comrade.
- Yes.
442
00:32:19,370 --> 00:32:22,464
Why exactly are you seekingthis particular set of chairs?
443
00:32:23,875 --> 00:32:26,366
It's, uh...
It's personal.
444
00:32:27,779 --> 00:32:29,872
I'm sorry.
445
00:32:29,981 --> 00:32:32,176
No information.
No information.
446
00:32:32,283 --> 00:32:34,308
All right. All right.
447
00:32:35,720 --> 00:32:38,621
I'll tell you everything.
448
00:32:38,723 --> 00:32:41,248
I am Vorobyaninov's son.
449
00:32:43,261 --> 00:32:45,388
His firstborn.
450
00:32:45,496 --> 00:32:47,464
He was like a father to me.
451
00:32:47,565 --> 00:32:50,056
So...
452
00:32:50,168 --> 00:32:53,865
you are Vorobyaninov's son.
453
00:32:53,972 --> 00:32:56,907
Yes, I am.
454
00:32:57,008 --> 00:32:58,976
- How old are you?
- Forty-six. Forty-four.
455
00:32:59,077 --> 00:33:01,045
- Which is it?
- Forty-two. I'm 42.
456
00:33:01,145 --> 00:33:05,081
- According to our records, Vorobyaninov is 53.
- [Whimpers]
457
00:33:05,183 --> 00:33:08,152
That means that when you were born,
your father was...
458
00:33:08,252 --> 00:33:10,152
11.
459
00:33:11,422 --> 00:33:13,390
[Whistles]
460
00:33:14,559 --> 00:33:17,426
Ah.
461
00:33:17,528 --> 00:33:19,496
[Mutters]
462
00:33:22,600 --> 00:33:24,864
[Grunts]
463
00:33:27,772 --> 00:33:29,740
Ticktock.
464
00:33:29,841 --> 00:33:33,242
- Are you trying to bribe a Soviet official?
- Oh, no, no, no. No, no, no.
465
00:33:33,344 --> 00:33:35,539
I was hoping for the best.
466
00:33:35,646 --> 00:33:39,582
Well, since you are
Vorobyaninov's only son...
467
00:33:39,684 --> 00:33:41,515
I'll see what I can do.
468
00:33:41,619 --> 00:33:43,519
Thank you.
Bless you.
469
00:33:43,621 --> 00:33:46,249
Now, if you will just
excuse me.
470
00:33:46,357 --> 00:33:48,325
I will be back
in one moment.
471
00:33:48,426 --> 00:33:51,520
Oh, thank you.
Bless you.
472
00:33:56,134 --> 00:33:59,831
Ah. Perfect.
473
00:33:59,937 --> 00:34:04,271
One dozen Hambs chairs,
property of General Polyakov.
474
00:34:04,375 --> 00:34:06,275
Ah.
475
00:34:06,377 --> 00:34:08,436
Better make that 11.
476
00:34:10,982 --> 00:34:14,179
Sent to a certain engineer
Bruns, Irkutsk...
477
00:34:14,285 --> 00:34:17,083
[Chuckles]
478
00:34:17,188 --> 00:34:19,122
Siberia.
479
00:34:21,025 --> 00:34:22,959
- Here we are.
- Ah.
480
00:34:23,061 --> 00:34:26,087
Here's your shipping order.
Ah. Oh. Ah.
481
00:34:26,197 --> 00:34:28,165
- One moment, please.
- Excuse me.
482
00:34:28,266 --> 00:34:30,234
- Procedure.
- Uh-huh.
483
00:34:32,036 --> 00:34:34,027
I hope you find
your chairs. Ah.
484
00:34:38,976 --> 00:34:41,240
[Muttering]
Eleven chairs.
485
00:34:41,345 --> 00:34:43,575
That's it.
Thank you. Thank you.
486
00:34:43,681 --> 00:34:46,377
[Laughing]
Thank you. Thank you.
487
00:34:47,552 --> 00:34:49,747
Bless you. Bless you.
488
00:34:49,854 --> 00:34:53,085
Bless you.
Bless you! Bless you!
489
00:34:53,257 --> 00:34:55,157
[Chattering]
490
00:34:58,930 --> 00:35:00,898
[No Audible Dialogue]
491
00:35:10,007 --> 00:35:11,975
[Train Whistle Blows]
492
00:35:37,001 --> 00:35:38,901
Moscow.
493
00:35:39,003 --> 00:35:41,767
Moscow.
494
00:35:41,873 --> 00:35:44,740
The chairs are in Moscow.
495
00:35:44,842 --> 00:35:46,810
I can hardly believe it.
496
00:35:46,911 --> 00:35:50,005
I mean, we're actually
going to see them.
497
00:35:50,114 --> 00:35:53,015
[Chuckles]My chairs are in a museum.
498
00:35:54,185 --> 00:35:57,086
I never realized
they were so valuable.
499
00:35:57,188 --> 00:36:00,055
If they only knew.
500
00:36:00,158 --> 00:36:03,218
Moscow!
501
00:36:47,205 --> 00:36:50,436
They're not here.
The chairs are not here.
502
00:36:50,541 --> 00:36:53,510
Look. See that cabinet?
Empire.
503
00:36:53,611 --> 00:36:56,444
And those writing tables.
Louis Quinze.
504
00:36:56,547 --> 00:36:59,744
- We're on the wrong floor.
I know we're on the wrong floor.
- Take it easy.
505
00:36:59,850 --> 00:37:03,342
- Take it easy.
- And what if they're not here at all?
506
00:37:03,454 --> 00:37:06,014
How would we ever find them, hmm?
Where would we look?
507
00:37:06,123 --> 00:37:08,648
Who would we ask?
They're lost, I tell you. Lost.
508
00:37:08,759 --> 00:37:10,556
I never should have...
509
00:37:14,332 --> 00:37:17,165
My chairs.
510
00:37:18,336 --> 00:37:20,236
My chairs!
511
00:37:20,338 --> 00:37:22,238
That's my furniture.!
512
00:37:23,507 --> 00:37:25,634
I wonder which one it is.
513
00:37:25,743 --> 00:37:29,304
Don't you worry about it.
We will know soon enough.
514
00:37:29,413 --> 00:37:33,110
We will get the chairs
at closing time.
515
00:37:33,217 --> 00:37:35,981
Closing time.
516
00:37:36,087 --> 00:37:38,749
- Closing time. Closing time.
- [Bell Ringing]
517
00:37:38,856 --> 00:37:41,450
Closing time.
518
00:37:41,559 --> 00:37:45,188
Closing time.
Closing time.
519
00:37:48,232 --> 00:37:51,224
What shall we do?
520
00:37:51,335 --> 00:37:55,203
Wait until these people go by,
and then you follow me.
521
00:38:10,588 --> 00:38:13,056
[Wood Rattling]
522
00:38:14,959 --> 00:38:17,757
Here we are.
523
00:38:17,862 --> 00:38:20,660
Get those Hambs
dining room chairs...
524
00:38:20,765 --> 00:38:22,926
and put them on the cart.
525
00:38:23,968 --> 00:38:25,868
Shh, shh, shh.
526
00:38:25,970 --> 00:38:29,462
Don't make a sound.
527
00:38:29,573 --> 00:38:32,303
Calm. Calm.
528
00:38:32,410 --> 00:38:34,878
At all costs.
529
00:38:34,979 --> 00:38:37,539
- [Thump]
- [Man] No.
530
00:38:37,648 --> 00:38:41,709
No, no, no, no, no.
Don't take them all.
531
00:38:41,819 --> 00:38:43,753
Leave four.
532
00:38:43,854 --> 00:38:47,187
Four. We are only
taking seven.
533
00:38:47,291 --> 00:38:50,419
Why are they only
taking seven?
534
00:38:50,528 --> 00:38:52,655
We are only taking seven...
535
00:38:52,763 --> 00:38:54,697
because four is enough...
536
00:38:54,799 --> 00:38:56,699
to represent the period.
537
00:38:56,801 --> 00:38:59,565
That's why.
538
00:38:59,670 --> 00:39:02,366
Good. Good. Now...
539
00:39:02,473 --> 00:39:05,601
take the chairs
to the freight entrance.
540
00:39:05,710 --> 00:39:06,711
They will be collected
at 8:00 a.m. tomorrow morning.
541
00:39:06,711 --> 00:39:09,373
They will be collected
at 8:00 a.m. tomorrow morning.
542
00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:11,539
Good.
543
00:39:18,356 --> 00:39:21,120
They're getting away.
They're getting away.
544
00:39:21,225 --> 00:39:23,693
They're not getting away.
545
00:39:23,794 --> 00:39:26,456
We know exactly
where they're going.
546
00:39:26,564 --> 00:39:31,433
And if luck is with us,
we will never have to see those other chairs again.
547
00:39:31,535 --> 00:39:34,800
- What do you mean?
- I mean, thickhead...
548
00:39:34,905 --> 00:39:38,238
the jewels might
very well be hidden...
549
00:39:38,342 --> 00:39:42,210
in one of thesefour beauties.
550
00:39:42,313 --> 00:39:44,406
[Metal Rattles]
551
00:39:44,515 --> 00:39:49,418
- What are you doing?
- Maybe we missed something.
552
00:39:49,520 --> 00:39:51,784
Does this look likewe missed anything?
553
00:40:07,705 --> 00:40:09,866
The chairs.! The chairs.!
554
00:40:09,974 --> 00:40:12,772
I know, I know.
Shut up.
555
00:40:14,145 --> 00:40:17,581
"Columbus Repertory Theatre."
556
00:40:17,681 --> 00:40:19,911
[Vorobyaninov]Two...
557
00:40:21,118 --> 00:40:23,985
four, six.
558
00:40:26,223 --> 00:40:28,418
Six. Seven.
559
00:40:28,526 --> 00:40:30,517
Where's seven?
560
00:40:30,628 --> 00:40:32,528
[Vorobyaninov]They're leaving.!
561
00:40:32,630 --> 00:40:34,655
It's all right.We know where they're going.
562
00:40:34,765 --> 00:40:36,665
Our problem isnumber seven.
563
00:40:36,767 --> 00:40:39,736
Where is number seven?
564
00:40:41,338 --> 00:40:43,272
Well, I must find out.
565
00:40:43,374 --> 00:40:45,274
Yes, we must find out.
566
00:40:45,376 --> 00:40:47,503
Not "we." I.
567
00:40:47,611 --> 00:40:50,409
You sit here
and wait for me.
568
00:40:50,514 --> 00:40:52,778
Sit.
569
00:40:52,883 --> 00:40:55,044
Sit.
570
00:40:58,155 --> 00:41:00,123
Stay.
571
00:41:05,062 --> 00:41:07,030
[Whines]
572
00:41:21,011 --> 00:41:22,979
[Whimpering]
573
00:42:11,529 --> 00:42:14,259
[Man]Irkutsk.! Irkutsk.!
574
00:42:14,365 --> 00:42:16,333
Siberia.!
575
00:42:58,309 --> 00:43:00,277
[Knocking]
576
00:43:05,649 --> 00:43:08,243
[Huffing]
Whoo!
577
00:43:08,352 --> 00:43:11,014
- Yes?
- I am looking for Engineer Bruns.
578
00:43:11,121 --> 00:43:14,284
- I am Engineer Bruns.
- [Moans]
579
00:43:14,391 --> 00:43:16,689
- What do you want?
- [Moaning]
580
00:43:16,794 --> 00:43:18,762
[Muttering]
581
00:43:18,862 --> 00:43:21,456
What is it?
What are you doing?
582
00:43:21,565 --> 00:43:24,659
[Moaning, Chuckling]
583
00:43:24,768 --> 00:43:26,827
- Olga!
- What's going on? What's going on?
584
00:43:26,937 --> 00:43:29,531
Andrei, why is that man
kissing your knee?
585
00:43:29,640 --> 00:43:31,767
- I don't know.
- Dear lady...
586
00:43:31,875 --> 00:43:34,207
- Oh! Oh!
- On you I rest all my hopes.
587
00:43:34,311 --> 00:43:37,474
- Ooh! Ow! Ooh!
- On the chair.
588
00:43:37,581 --> 00:43:39,913
No, no, no. Don't...
I must grovel at your feet.
589
00:43:40,017 --> 00:43:42,713
- Put him up on the chair.
- No, no, no, no.
590
00:43:42,820 --> 00:43:45,482
Now, once and for all,
who are you and what do you want?
591
00:43:45,589 --> 00:43:48,717
- I want to grovel at your feet.
I must grovel at your feet.
- No groveling.
592
00:43:48,826 --> 00:43:51,727
There will be no groveling in this house.
This is a Soviet household.
593
00:43:51,829 --> 00:43:53,820
- We don't allow groveling.
- What do you want?
594
00:43:53,931 --> 00:43:56,627
l... Hmm.
595
00:43:56,734 --> 00:44:00,465
These chairs.
I must have these chairs.
596
00:44:01,839 --> 00:44:04,501
- He wants our chairs.
- Maybe he's a furniture dealer.
597
00:44:04,608 --> 00:44:06,303
Are you a furniture dealer?
Is that it?
598
00:44:06,410 --> 00:44:11,109
Not for personal gain.
I assure you, not for personal gain.
599
00:44:11,215 --> 00:44:13,615
My motives are pure. Ohh.
600
00:44:13,717 --> 00:44:16,447
They're the very best motives.
l... l... I think...
601
00:44:16,553 --> 00:44:18,919
you're going to be
very impressed with my motives.
602
00:44:19,023 --> 00:44:20,923
Yes.
603
00:44:21,025 --> 00:44:23,050
- Well?
- Well what?
604
00:44:23,160 --> 00:44:25,890
Your motives.
You didn't tell us your motives.
605
00:44:25,996 --> 00:44:29,864
Oh, yes. My motives.
My motives.
606
00:44:29,967 --> 00:44:31,901
Come on, brain.
607
00:44:33,003 --> 00:44:34,937
Got it!
[Whimpering]
608
00:44:35,039 --> 00:44:39,169
The chairs belonged to my wife
and her mother before her...
609
00:44:39,276 --> 00:44:41,506
and now my wife is ill.
610
00:44:41,612 --> 00:44:46,515
She's very ill.She's dying, dying. Dead.
611
00:44:46,617 --> 00:44:51,054
Dying. Uh, she keeps
calling for her chairs.
612
00:44:51,155 --> 00:44:53,089
Oh, please.
You cannot deny me.
613
00:44:53,190 --> 00:44:56,159
It's a dying woman's wish.
[Sobs]
614
00:44:56,260 --> 00:44:59,752
Olga, what shall we do?
Shall we give him the chairs?
615
00:44:59,863 --> 00:45:03,458
- Don't be ridiculous. Nobody's taking my chairs.
- You dirty...
616
00:45:03,567 --> 00:45:05,694
I'm sorry.
I cannot let you have the chairs.
617
00:45:05,803 --> 00:45:07,930
I didn't hear that.
618
00:45:08,038 --> 00:45:09,938
I didn't hear that.
619
00:45:10,040 --> 00:45:11,974
I didn't hear that.
620
00:45:12,076 --> 00:45:15,011
I didn't hear that. I didn't hear that.
I don't want to hear that.
621
00:45:15,112 --> 00:45:17,672
Don't you understand?
I don't want to hear that.
622
00:45:17,781 --> 00:45:19,772
[Yells]
Ooh!
623
00:45:19,883 --> 00:45:22,909
[Whimpering]
That's a hot...
624
00:45:25,723 --> 00:45:29,181
My dear lady,
don't you understand?
625
00:45:29,293 --> 00:45:32,262
I need those chairs!
626
00:45:32,362 --> 00:45:34,762
- Andrei!
- Oh, please.
627
00:45:34,865 --> 00:45:37,095
- Oh, please.
- Stop that! Andrei!
628
00:45:37,201 --> 00:45:39,328
[Screams]
Out!
629
00:45:39,436 --> 00:45:41,734
I want him out of this house
immediately!
630
00:45:43,040 --> 00:45:45,008
Well, that's done it.
631
00:45:45,109 --> 00:45:49,603
Wait. Wait.
Let's discuss this like adults!
632
00:45:49,713 --> 00:45:52,443
[Yelps]
633
00:45:52,549 --> 00:45:54,779
Don't judge a book
by its cover.
634
00:45:54,885 --> 00:45:56,853
[Groans]
635
00:46:00,190 --> 00:46:03,853
A memento.
A memento of my visit to your lovely home.
636
00:46:03,961 --> 00:46:05,929
Ow! Ow!
637
00:46:06,997 --> 00:46:08,931
Ow!
638
00:46:13,103 --> 00:46:15,071
Ah!
639
00:46:17,374 --> 00:46:20,366
Wait! Wait! I'll pay!
640
00:46:20,477 --> 00:46:23,173
100 rubles!
641
00:46:25,716 --> 00:46:28,378
- 102?
- [Both Groaning]
642
00:46:42,399 --> 00:46:44,390
[Man]You down there.
643
00:46:44,501 --> 00:46:47,629
If we don't sail in 10 minutes,
I'll miss the tide.
644
00:46:47,738 --> 00:46:51,299
Wait, please.
A few more minutes.
645
00:46:51,408 --> 00:46:54,969
One of my actors
is missing.
646
00:47:03,420 --> 00:47:06,253
Wait.
647
00:47:12,896 --> 00:47:14,864
[Man]Where is Gronsky?
648
00:47:14,965 --> 00:47:16,865
[Sobbing]
649
00:47:16,967 --> 00:47:21,028
How the hell can I do the play
without Gronsky?
650
00:47:21,138 --> 00:47:24,335
Sevitsky, how could youlet this happen?
651
00:47:24,441 --> 00:47:26,568
It's your job to make sure
that the actors...
652
00:47:26,677 --> 00:47:29,373
are supposed to be
where they're supposed to be...
653
00:47:29,479 --> 00:47:31,276
and not wandering arounddrunk somewhere.
654
00:47:31,381 --> 00:47:33,975
- Well...
- Shut up.
655
00:47:34,084 --> 00:47:36,018
Talk, talk, talk,
talk, talk, talk.
656
00:47:36,119 --> 00:47:38,053
That's all I hear
from you.
657
00:47:39,256 --> 00:47:41,622
Oh, my goodness.
658
00:47:41,725 --> 00:47:45,126
I look dreadful.
Why didn't you say something?
659
00:47:45,229 --> 00:47:48,630
Time and tide
wait for no man.
660
00:47:48,732 --> 00:47:51,200
I like that reading.
661
00:47:51,301 --> 00:47:53,292
Maybe he could play the count.
662
00:47:53,403 --> 00:47:56,861
Sevitsky, that vulgar man
in the wheelhouse...
663
00:47:56,974 --> 00:47:59,465
it's only good
for one thing...
664
00:47:59,576 --> 00:48:01,544
running ships...
665
00:48:03,513 --> 00:48:06,710
and trying to browbeat
his superiors.
666
00:48:06,817 --> 00:48:10,685
Well, if worsecomes to worse...
667
00:48:10,787 --> 00:48:13,585
I shall play the count.
668
00:48:13,690 --> 00:48:17,057
Worse shall never come
to that worse.
669
00:48:19,263 --> 00:48:21,163
Excuse me.
670
00:48:21,265 --> 00:48:24,723
I'm looking for the commissar producer
of the Columbus Theatre.
671
00:48:27,804 --> 00:48:30,671
- That's me.
- Good, good. I'm in time.
672
00:48:33,243 --> 00:48:35,768
And what do you want?
673
00:48:35,879 --> 00:48:38,143
I've just come from Gronsky.
He told me to find you.
674
00:48:38,248 --> 00:48:40,842
- Where is he?
- Moscow General Hospital.
675
00:48:40,951 --> 00:48:44,682
- [Gasps]
- Yes, he was a little in his cups, you might say.
676
00:48:44,788 --> 00:48:48,349
He tried to stop a streetcar.
He suffered two broken legs and minor contusions.
677
00:48:48,458 --> 00:48:50,688
And, uh, who are you?
678
00:48:50,794 --> 00:48:53,854
Well, I am from the Artists'Union,theater division. I'm to accompany you.
679
00:48:53,964 --> 00:48:56,728
I took the liberty of getting an immediate
replacement for Gronsky.
680
00:48:56,833 --> 00:49:00,769
Fine actor. Made for the part.
With your permission, I will bring him
on board. One moment.
681
00:49:00,871 --> 00:49:02,304
l...
682
00:49:05,342 --> 00:49:09,369
Guess what.
From now on, you are an actor.
683
00:49:09,479 --> 00:49:12,277
- [Traditional]
- [Chattering]
684
00:49:20,424 --> 00:49:22,392
[Continues, Faint]
685
00:49:26,096 --> 00:49:28,064
Sevitsky.
686
00:49:31,168 --> 00:49:34,331
- Where are you going with that samovar?
- What samovar?
687
00:49:34,438 --> 00:49:37,669
- That samovar.
- Oh, this samovar.
688
00:49:37,774 --> 00:49:40,504
- Yes.
- Well, I was going to have it polished up...
689
00:49:40,610 --> 00:49:42,510
for the show tonight.
690
00:49:42,612 --> 00:49:46,912
Sevitsky, if I catch you trying to sell
another piece of company property...
691
00:49:48,685 --> 00:49:50,585
Siberia!
692
00:49:50,687 --> 00:49:54,248
I was going to have it polished.
I swear! I swear!
693
00:49:56,059 --> 00:49:58,584
I hate people I don't like.
694
00:50:09,606 --> 00:50:11,767
I feel something.
695
00:50:11,875 --> 00:50:15,367
I knew it. I felt it.
I felt it in my bones.
696
00:50:15,479 --> 00:50:18,573
Lucky seven.
Little lucky seven.
697
00:50:18,682 --> 00:50:20,741
That is seven.
This is eight.
698
00:50:20,851 --> 00:50:23,046
Lucky eight.
Lucky eight.
699
00:50:25,956 --> 00:50:29,392
Well, seems much too small
for all that loot.
700
00:50:29,493 --> 00:50:31,461
Open it, open it.
701
00:50:35,599 --> 00:50:37,533
[Sighs]
Empty.
702
00:50:39,669 --> 00:50:42,570
Empty.
703
00:50:42,672 --> 00:50:46,574
Somebody must have
got to the jewels before us.
704
00:50:46,676 --> 00:50:49,042
Oh, there were never
any jewels in this box.
705
00:50:49,146 --> 00:50:51,376
It was put in
by the furniture maker.
706
00:50:51,481 --> 00:50:53,540
"One set of 12 chairs...
707
00:50:53,650 --> 00:50:56,244
"crafted for
I.M. Vorobyaninov...
708
00:50:56,353 --> 00:50:58,321
by Christopher Hambs
of London."
709
00:50:58,422 --> 00:51:01,949
[Sighs]
I really thought we had them.
710
00:51:02,059 --> 00:51:04,926
I really thought we had them.
711
00:51:05,028 --> 00:51:06,962
Next.
712
00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:12,264
- What's going on here?
- Ah.
713
00:51:12,369 --> 00:51:16,430
We are actors. We are members of
the Columbus Repertory Theatre.
714
00:51:16,540 --> 00:51:19,941
As you can see, my dear sir,
some of our chairs were broken in transit.
715
00:51:20,043 --> 00:51:22,876
We are repairing them.
Misha, hand me the leg.
716
00:51:22,979 --> 00:51:24,947
- Misha.
- Hmm?
717
00:51:26,049 --> 00:51:28,017
Oh.
718
00:51:28,118 --> 00:51:31,554
If you're actors, you'd better get up to
the ship's theater. The show's starting.
719
00:51:31,655 --> 00:51:33,555
Oh, yes, of course.
Of course.
720
00:51:33,657 --> 00:51:36,626
Come along, Misha.
Come along. Come along.
721
00:51:42,132 --> 00:51:45,192
[Ostap] "The workers are dissatisfied.They intend to make a revolution.
722
00:51:45,302 --> 00:51:48,135
Is there any truth
to this rumor?"
723
00:51:48,238 --> 00:51:51,537
"An uprising of peasants and workers.
I have never heard anything so absurd."
724
00:51:51,641 --> 00:51:54,371
Bender, the other
three chairs in the hold.
725
00:51:54,478 --> 00:51:57,470
The other three chairs in the hold
depend upon you, my friend.
726
00:51:57,581 --> 00:52:00,448
- Hmm?
- If you go out on that stage
and make a fool of yourself...
727
00:52:00,550 --> 00:52:04,850
you will get us thrown off this ship
before you can say Nicholas and Alexandra.
728
00:52:04,955 --> 00:52:07,515
It's only a play.
729
00:52:07,624 --> 00:52:11,617
I have attended a theater
before, you know.
730
00:52:11,728 --> 00:52:13,662
[Man]Ah, Krakov.
731
00:52:13,763 --> 00:52:17,631
It will be so marvelous to seethat stimulating Count Krakov again.
732
00:52:17,734 --> 00:52:20,294
[Woman]
Oh, yes. I too have missed him.
733
00:52:20,403 --> 00:52:23,668
- Where's Krakov?
- That must be Count Krakov now.
734
00:52:23,773 --> 00:52:25,741
You're on.
735
00:52:29,746 --> 00:52:32,909
- Ah, Count Krakov.
- [Applause]
736
00:52:40,891 --> 00:52:42,859
[Audience Murmuring]
737
00:52:46,229 --> 00:52:49,995
[Vorobyaninov]Ostap. Take me with you.!
738
00:52:50,100 --> 00:52:52,068
Not a chance.
739
00:52:52,169 --> 00:52:55,900
Ostap...
[Panting]
740
00:52:56,006 --> 00:52:58,338
You'll never catch up
with that boat.
741
00:52:58,441 --> 00:53:02,605
I don't intend to. I'm going to take
the train and meet the boat at Yalta.
742
00:53:05,182 --> 00:53:07,150
[Grunting]
743
00:53:11,154 --> 00:53:13,247
Ostap! Ostap!
744
00:53:13,356 --> 00:53:15,551
I'm not a strong swimmer!
745
00:53:16,860 --> 00:53:19,886
I'm not a swimmer. Help!
746
00:53:26,536 --> 00:53:28,595
Vorobyaninov.
747
00:53:34,811 --> 00:53:36,972
Vorobyaninov.
748
00:53:39,049 --> 00:53:41,040
Help. Help.
749
00:53:41,151 --> 00:53:43,119
Help.
750
00:53:53,630 --> 00:53:55,928
Thank you.
Thank you.
751
00:54:00,537 --> 00:54:02,767
l...
752
00:54:02,872 --> 00:54:04,806
Cold.
753
00:54:04,908 --> 00:54:06,808
It's cold.
754
00:54:06,910 --> 00:54:08,878
[Shivering]
755
00:54:12,549 --> 00:54:14,642
- Here.
- [Grunts]
756
00:54:16,353 --> 00:54:18,321
Thank you.
757
00:54:19,623 --> 00:54:21,591
Thank you.
758
00:54:22,792 --> 00:54:25,283
You're a good soul, Bender.
759
00:54:26,329 --> 00:54:28,297
A good soul.
760
00:55:08,371 --> 00:55:10,464
[Slurps]
761
00:55:12,542 --> 00:55:15,875
Mmm! This borscht
is delicious, Olga.
762
00:55:15,979 --> 00:55:18,573
I love it cold!
763
00:55:18,682 --> 00:55:21,776
Why didn't you
ever make it cold?
764
00:55:21,885 --> 00:55:25,048
How could I make it
cold in Irkutsk?
765
00:55:25,155 --> 00:55:28,886
If we didn't eat hot things
we'd have died there.
766
00:55:28,992 --> 00:55:31,290
Smell that air.
767
00:55:31,394 --> 00:55:33,988
Smell that air!
768
00:55:34,097 --> 00:55:36,327
Like wine.
769
00:55:36,433 --> 00:55:38,333
I know. I know.
770
00:55:38,435 --> 00:55:42,496
Every night I thank God
for your transfer to Yalta.
771
00:55:42,605 --> 00:55:45,904
I don't think I could have
survived another winter there.
772
00:55:46,009 --> 00:55:48,910
My dear.
773
00:55:49,012 --> 00:55:51,537
My dearest dear.
774
00:55:56,353 --> 00:55:58,514
[Fyodor]103.
775
00:55:58,621 --> 00:56:00,521
What?
776
00:56:02,192 --> 00:56:04,092
I didn't say anything.
777
00:56:05,862 --> 00:56:07,853
104.
778
00:56:07,964 --> 00:56:09,955
Olga?
779
00:56:12,569 --> 00:56:15,766
[Chorus Vocalizing]
780
00:56:15,872 --> 00:56:17,897
105.
781
00:56:20,477 --> 00:56:22,741
Good. Oh, good.
782
00:56:22,846 --> 00:56:25,508
Good. Good.
[Grunting]
783
00:56:25,615 --> 00:56:30,109
Oh, thank you. Thank you.
How very generous of you.
784
00:56:30,220 --> 00:56:32,848
You really shouldn't
have done it.
785
00:56:32,956 --> 00:56:34,981
Please, go now.
786
00:56:35,091 --> 00:56:37,218
I never want
to see you again.
787
00:56:37,327 --> 00:56:39,591
Oh, I must say good-bye
to Madam Bruns.
788
00:56:39,696 --> 00:56:42,460
How can I leave without
saying good-bye to Madam Bruns?
789
00:56:42,565 --> 00:56:44,897
[Screams]
No!
790
00:56:45,001 --> 00:56:47,936
[Accordion]
791
00:56:55,445 --> 00:56:58,710
The chairs.
I don't see the chairs.
792
00:57:14,531 --> 00:57:17,432
- Yes?
- Uh, we're still thinking.
793
00:57:24,874 --> 00:57:29,140
[Ostap]Sevitsky. He looks pregnant.
794
00:57:29,245 --> 00:57:31,645
Come on.
Let's not lose him.
795
00:57:31,748 --> 00:57:34,808
We must see where
he delivers his child.
796
00:58:15,358 --> 00:58:18,885
[Ostap]Ah, it's a boy.
797
00:58:38,848 --> 00:58:43,444
Comrade Sevitsky! You are under arrest
for selling property belonging to the state.
798
00:58:43,553 --> 00:58:47,455
- Polished. I'm having it polished.
- [Laughing]
799
00:58:47,557 --> 00:58:50,253
Oh, it's you...
800
00:58:50,360 --> 00:58:52,658
Count Krakov.
801
00:58:52,762 --> 00:58:55,162
Well, you've had
your little joke.
802
00:58:55,265 --> 00:58:57,733
Now, if you don't mind,
I'll be on my way.
803
00:58:57,834 --> 00:59:00,428
Wait a minute.
I would like to talk a little business.
804
00:59:00,537 --> 00:59:02,402
- Business?
- Yes.
805
00:59:02,505 --> 00:59:06,066
I'm interested in some chairs.
Three of them, to be exact.
806
00:59:06,175 --> 00:59:09,042
They're in your present production
at the Columbus Theatre.
807
00:59:09,145 --> 00:59:12,740
Oh, yes. Walnut.
Gold covers.
808
00:59:14,284 --> 00:59:16,616
I'm afraid they're
already spoken for.
809
00:59:16,719 --> 00:59:19,620
Listen, scum!
I want those chairs.
810
00:59:19,722 --> 00:59:22,623
Do you hear me?
I want those chairs!
811
00:59:22,725 --> 00:59:25,421
You don't understand.
It's quite impossible.
812
00:59:25,528 --> 00:59:28,895
I promised them to a certain individual.
He's giving me 10 rubles apiece.
813
00:59:28,998 --> 00:59:32,331
Sell him something else.
I want those chairs.
814
00:59:32,435 --> 00:59:34,460
Don't worry. You won't
be out a kopeck.
815
00:59:34,571 --> 00:59:36,971
You will get
your 30 rubles.
816
00:59:37,073 --> 00:59:39,735
- Oh, my throat!
- When can you deliver the chairs?
817
00:59:39,842 --> 00:59:42,470
- Tonight. After the performance.
- You'll bring them here?
818
00:59:42,579 --> 00:59:44,479
Yes. I'll bring them here.
819
00:59:44,581 --> 00:59:46,674
All right.
820
00:59:46,783 --> 00:59:49,377
Now, Sevitsky,
please don't disappoint me.
821
00:59:49,485 --> 00:59:52,420
Because if you do, I'm afraid
I'll have to break your neck.
822
00:59:52,522 --> 00:59:55,116
- A threat to the wise, hmm?
- All right.
823
00:59:55,224 --> 00:59:58,682
Midnight.
Here on this spot.
824
00:59:58,795 --> 01:00:01,787
You bring the money,
I'll bring the chairs.
825
01:00:05,668 --> 01:00:10,731
Bender, Bender, 30 rubles?
How do we raise 30 rubles?
826
01:00:12,942 --> 01:00:15,433
[Seagulls Squawking]
827
01:00:34,631 --> 01:00:36,531
Thank you.
828
01:00:37,867 --> 01:00:40,335
Fine day for a picnic.
829
01:00:40,436 --> 01:00:43,337
The others should be
along any minute.
830
01:00:43,439 --> 01:00:45,737
Thank you.
831
01:00:45,842 --> 01:00:49,278
Thank you and good-bye.
832
01:00:49,379 --> 01:00:51,973
Good-bye.
Have a nice day.
833
01:00:52,081 --> 01:00:53,981
Good-bye.
834
01:00:55,718 --> 01:00:58,209
Get out of here!
835
01:01:19,342 --> 01:01:22,675
[Moaning]
836
01:01:25,715 --> 01:01:28,309
Ooh! Oh,
what beautiful wood.
837
01:01:28,418 --> 01:01:31,979
[Moaning Continues]
What fine detail.
838
01:01:32,088 --> 01:01:35,524
Beautiful workmanship.
Beautiful workmanship!
839
01:01:35,625 --> 01:01:37,820
What a gorgeous chair!
840
01:01:43,633 --> 01:01:46,568
Oh, it can't be.
841
01:01:46,669 --> 01:01:51,129
[Muttering]
It can't be! It can't be!
842
01:01:51,240 --> 01:01:54,903
[Panting]
It couldn't be!
843
01:01:55,011 --> 01:01:59,072
It can't be! It can't...
It can't be!
844
01:01:59,182 --> 01:02:01,650
[Groans]
845
01:02:01,751 --> 01:02:05,243
I don't want to live.
I don't want to live!
846
01:02:05,354 --> 01:02:08,289
I don't want to live!
[Grunting]
847
01:02:08,391 --> 01:02:13,226
[Screaming]
I don't want to live! I don't want to live!
848
01:02:13,329 --> 01:02:17,356
[Grunts, Groans]
Oh! Ow! Ow! Ow!
849
01:02:17,467 --> 01:02:20,903
[Groaning Continues]
850
01:02:25,508 --> 01:02:28,102
Thirty rubles!
Tsk, tsk, tsk.
851
01:02:53,102 --> 01:02:56,003
Of course! Of course!
852
01:03:02,311 --> 01:03:04,939
Dostoievsky.
853
01:03:05,047 --> 01:03:06,947
- What?
- Never mind.
854
01:03:07,049 --> 01:03:09,040
- Can you roll your eyes?
- Roll my eyes?
855
01:03:09,152 --> 01:03:11,882
Yes, roll your eyes.
856
01:03:11,988 --> 01:03:14,388
- I don't know.
- Try it.
857
01:03:17,093 --> 01:03:20,290
Oh, that's wonderful.
Born to do it.
858
01:03:20,396 --> 01:03:23,888
Now, at a given signal...
Stop it.
859
01:03:24,000 --> 01:03:26,525
At a given signal from me...
860
01:03:26,636 --> 01:03:29,469
you will fall from this
bench onto the ground...
861
01:03:29,572 --> 01:03:32,234
and pretend to have
an epileptic fit.
862
01:03:32,341 --> 01:03:35,037
You will roll your eyes...
863
01:03:35,144 --> 01:03:38,375
you will move
your arms and legs...
864
01:03:38,481 --> 01:03:41,075
in short,
spastic jerks...
865
01:03:41,184 --> 01:03:44,585
and generally writhe
around out of control.
866
01:03:44,687 --> 01:03:48,020
I will call attention
to your pitiful state...
867
01:03:48,124 --> 01:03:52,686
and the good-hearted citizens of Yalta
will shower you with coins.
868
01:03:54,564 --> 01:03:58,125
What a disgusting idea.
869
01:04:00,469 --> 01:04:03,734
What filthy taste!
870
01:04:05,975 --> 01:04:10,708
There never was
and there never will be...
871
01:04:10,813 --> 01:04:14,579
a Vorobyaninov who begs!
872
01:04:16,319 --> 01:04:18,981
[Groans]
873
01:04:19,088 --> 01:04:21,147
Parasite!
874
01:04:21,257 --> 01:04:24,715
Parasite! Parasite!
875
01:04:24,827 --> 01:04:28,490
Disgusting,
helpless, inept...
876
01:04:28,598 --> 01:04:31,089
bloodsucking parasite!
877
01:04:31,200 --> 01:04:35,864
Vorobyaninovs never beg!
I begged all my life!
878
01:04:44,947 --> 01:04:47,939
[Whimpering]
879
01:04:52,154 --> 01:04:54,213
Now listen, old man.
880
01:04:55,725 --> 01:04:58,694
Pride is a luxury
that neither you nor I can afford...
881
01:04:58,794 --> 01:05:01,285
at this time
in our lives.
882
01:05:01,397 --> 01:05:05,731
We need 30 rubles
to make our dreams come true.
883
01:05:07,203 --> 01:05:09,671
It's sink or swim.
884
01:05:09,772 --> 01:05:12,536
I choose swim.
885
01:05:12,642 --> 01:05:16,874
Now, to beg or not to beg?
That is the question.
886
01:05:16,979 --> 01:05:19,948
I will give you five...
887
01:05:20,049 --> 01:05:22,449
to decide yes or no.
888
01:05:22,551 --> 01:05:25,884
On the count of five,
it is farewell.
889
01:05:25,988 --> 01:05:30,721
- One...
- Yes. Yes, yes, yes.
890
01:05:30,826 --> 01:05:32,987
Good.
891
01:05:33,095 --> 01:05:35,495
Now, do your stuff.
892
01:05:39,368 --> 01:05:43,998
Attention!
Ladies and gentlemen, attention!
893
01:05:44,106 --> 01:05:48,440
A comrade, a citizen,
a fellow human being...
894
01:05:48,544 --> 01:05:51,445
cries out for our attention!
895
01:05:51,547 --> 01:05:55,005
Epilepsy, my friends!
Epilepsy.
896
01:05:55,117 --> 01:05:59,144
The same disease that struck down
our own beloved Dostoievsky.
897
01:05:59,255 --> 01:06:04,283
God knows what genius,
what great works of art may be trapped...
898
01:06:04,393 --> 01:06:07,294
in the mind of this poor,
wretched soul.
899
01:06:07,396 --> 01:06:10,490
Ah, this poor man.
This poor man.
900
01:06:10,599 --> 01:06:12,499
[Whispers]
Roll your eyes!
901
01:06:12,601 --> 01:06:15,434
Yes, give! Give...
902
01:06:15,538 --> 01:06:18,871
so that this quivering,
shivering, helpless victim...
903
01:06:18,975 --> 01:06:21,842
can receive desperately
needed medical attention.
904
01:06:21,944 --> 01:06:24,640
Give! Give, please!
905
01:06:24,747 --> 01:06:27,409
Open your hearts.
Give. Give. Give.
906
01:06:27,516 --> 01:06:29,507
Thank you.
907
01:06:31,287 --> 01:06:33,687
Please give.
908
01:06:35,191 --> 01:06:35,324
[Crickets Chirping]
909
01:06:35,324 --> 01:06:37,451
[Crickets Chirping]
910
01:06:56,178 --> 01:06:58,146
Cigarette?
911
01:06:58,247 --> 01:07:00,306
No, thank you.
912
01:07:00,416 --> 01:07:03,044
Still angry, huh?
913
01:07:04,620 --> 01:07:08,852
When this business is over...
914
01:07:08,958 --> 01:07:14,191
I never want
to see you again.
915
01:07:30,980 --> 01:07:34,211
Oh, you're here.
Good.
916
01:07:34,316 --> 01:07:36,910
Yes.
Won't you come in?
917
01:07:37,019 --> 01:07:38,919
Yes.
918
01:07:40,656 --> 01:07:44,524
Sorry I'm late. I had to wait
till everybody left the theater.
919
01:07:44,627 --> 01:07:48,290
It was opening night, and there was a party.
What can I tell you?
920
01:07:48,397 --> 01:07:52,595
You can tell me why you only brought two chairs.
We made a deal for three.
921
01:07:52,701 --> 01:07:56,660
- Well, yes, I tried, but...
- Where's the other chair?
Where is the other chair?
922
01:07:56,772 --> 01:08:00,674
- [Gasping]
- Do you know what I went through
to raise money for those chairs?
923
01:08:00,776 --> 01:08:05,338
- Shh. Come on. You're gonna ruin everything.
- [Growling]
924
01:08:05,448 --> 01:08:09,145
What's the matter with you people?
Every time we meet, you go for my throat.
925
01:08:09,251 --> 01:08:11,947
What happened
to the other chair?
926
01:08:12,054 --> 01:08:14,784
There is a thief
in our company.
927
01:08:14,890 --> 01:08:16,790
It's terrible.
928
01:08:16,892 --> 01:08:19,622
He sold the chair to a Finnish aerialist
for 10 rubles.
929
01:08:19,728 --> 01:08:22,128
A Finnish aerialist?
930
01:08:22,231 --> 01:08:26,167
Yes. He works at the fair,
just outside of town.
931
01:08:26,268 --> 01:08:29,260
- Can I have my 30 rubles now, please?
- Twenty!
932
01:08:29,371 --> 01:08:32,431
- [Growling]
- Y-Y-Yes. Sorry. Twenty.
933
01:08:32,541 --> 01:08:35,601
Twenty. Twenty. Twenty.
934
01:08:35,711 --> 01:08:37,645
Shh. Shh. Shh.
935
01:08:37,746 --> 01:08:41,113
- Again the throat.
- Here. Here's your money.
936
01:08:42,952 --> 01:08:44,920
Twenty. Thank you.
937
01:08:45,020 --> 01:08:48,683
Tell me, why are you
so interested in these chairs?
938
01:08:48,791 --> 01:08:52,124
- Shut up.
- Oh. That's the reason.
939
01:08:52,228 --> 01:08:54,890
Bye.
940
01:09:17,119 --> 01:09:19,644
[Sighs]
941
01:09:22,224 --> 01:09:26,661
Well, don't give up,
old friend.
942
01:09:26,762 --> 01:09:29,856
Remember the famous
Russian proverb:
943
01:09:29,965 --> 01:09:33,332
"The hungrier you get,
the tastier the meal."
944
01:09:33,435 --> 01:09:36,495
On the other hand,
the French have a proverb:
945
01:09:36,605 --> 01:09:39,733
Merde.!
946
01:09:41,477 --> 01:09:45,072
Thy love will banish sorrow
947
01:09:45,181 --> 01:09:49,709
Thy love shall cleanse
my grief
948
01:09:49,818 --> 01:09:54,551
The sun
will shine tomorrow
949
01:09:54,657 --> 01:10:00,254
My a-a-a-a-anguish
950
01:10:00,362 --> 01:10:03,331
Will be brief
951
01:10:03,432 --> 01:10:07,368
Oh, foolish man.
952
01:10:07,469 --> 01:10:10,165
Foolish, foolish
man that I am.
953
01:10:10,272 --> 01:10:14,368
I must not weep.
I must count my blessings.
954
01:10:14,476 --> 01:10:16,671
My blessings.
955
01:10:16,779 --> 01:10:19,907
[Laughing]
956
01:10:24,386 --> 01:10:27,549
I don't want to live!
957
01:10:31,093 --> 01:10:33,561
Ooh.
958
01:10:33,662 --> 01:10:36,495
Ooh-ooh-ooh!
959
01:10:36,599 --> 01:10:38,590
[Sighs]
960
01:10:38,701 --> 01:10:42,865
Thy love shall banish sorrow
961
01:10:42,972 --> 01:10:47,671
Thy love
shall cleanse my grief
962
01:10:47,776 --> 01:10:50,802
[Carnival Band]
963
01:10:50,913 --> 01:10:53,279
[Chattering]
964
01:11:02,791 --> 01:11:05,089
- [Drumroll]
- The chair!
965
01:11:09,231 --> 01:11:11,665
[Audience Gasps]
966
01:11:18,340 --> 01:11:20,638
Come down, you thief!
967
01:11:20,743 --> 01:11:22,973
Come down here
this instant!
968
01:11:23,078 --> 01:11:25,546
That's my chair!
Do you hear me?
969
01:11:25,648 --> 01:11:28,173
My chair!
970
01:11:28,284 --> 01:11:30,809
[Audience Gasps]
971
01:11:30,919 --> 01:11:34,480
Listen, you!
That's my chair!
972
01:11:34,590 --> 01:11:38,856
Get down, you fool!
Get down! You'll kill us both!
973
01:11:41,263 --> 01:11:45,199
I want that chair.
Give me that chair!
974
01:11:45,301 --> 01:11:47,462
[Audience Gasps]
975
01:11:47,569 --> 01:11:50,402
[Carnival Music Resumes]
976
01:12:04,019 --> 01:12:06,715
[Chattering]
977
01:12:27,309 --> 01:12:29,800
[Whimpering]
978
01:12:29,912 --> 01:12:32,312
Oh, Lord.
979
01:12:32,414 --> 01:12:35,906
Oh, Lord,
your lamb is lost.
980
01:12:36,018 --> 01:12:40,318
Please help me.
Oh, please help me, Lord.
981
01:12:40,422 --> 01:12:42,549
Thank you.
982
01:12:54,470 --> 01:12:56,495
[Screams]
983
01:12:56,605 --> 01:12:59,403
It's mine! Do you hear?
Mine! Mine! Mine!
984
01:12:59,508 --> 01:13:01,408
Mine! Mine!
985
01:13:01,510 --> 01:13:04,741
Very nice.
Very nice, indeed.
986
01:13:04,847 --> 01:13:07,077
A partner in the firm...
987
01:13:07,182 --> 01:13:09,878
running off with
the company's assets!
988
01:13:11,153 --> 01:13:13,781
[Yelling]
989
01:13:13,889 --> 01:13:16,119
So you wanna play horsey, huh?
990
01:13:16,225 --> 01:13:19,558
Mine! Mine! Mine!
[Gasps]
991
01:13:19,661 --> 01:13:21,629
[Both Grunting]
992
01:13:26,869 --> 01:13:29,099
Father Fyodor!
993
01:13:56,131 --> 01:13:59,965
- Need a hand, mon p�re?
- Oh, come on, God!
994
01:14:00,068 --> 01:14:02,935
[Panting, Whimpering]
995
01:14:08,477 --> 01:14:11,275
[Laughing]
996
01:14:16,385 --> 01:14:20,116
[Laughs]
The chairman of the board.
997
01:14:20,222 --> 01:14:23,055
- Where is he?
- Yah, yah, yah.!
998
01:14:23,158 --> 01:14:26,127
Yah, yah, yah!
999
01:14:26,228 --> 01:14:29,322
Yah, yah, yah!
1000
01:14:29,431 --> 01:14:33,299
Ah, hate! Hate! Hate!
1001
01:14:33,402 --> 01:14:35,529
[Fyodor Chuckles]
1002
01:14:35,637 --> 01:14:37,730
God sees.
God sees all.
1003
01:14:37,840 --> 01:14:40,070
Why do you think
he gave me the strength...
1004
01:14:40,175 --> 01:14:43,338
to climb straight up a mountain wall
and deny the same to you?
1005
01:14:43,445 --> 01:14:46,676
There must be some reason.
Yah-dee-tah-tah!
1006
01:14:46,782 --> 01:14:49,273
Oh, God, how I hate him!
1007
01:14:49,384 --> 01:14:52,353
He mustn't get away!
He mustn't get away!
1008
01:14:52,454 --> 01:14:55,423
He mustn't get...
Mustn't get away. Mustn't get away.
1009
01:14:55,524 --> 01:14:58,459
Fear not,
my dear marshal.
1010
01:14:58,560 --> 01:15:00,755
He will not get away.
1011
01:15:00,863 --> 01:15:03,525
As a matter of fact,
he can't get away.
1012
01:15:03,632 --> 01:15:07,568
There's no way down. Come on.
I'll show you. Come on.
1013
01:15:10,672 --> 01:15:13,903
See? No way down.
1014
01:15:17,145 --> 01:15:20,410
[Chuckling]
There's no way down.
1015
01:15:20,516 --> 01:15:23,349
He can't get down.
He's trapped.
1016
01:15:23,452 --> 01:15:26,444
He's trapped.
You're trapped!
1017
01:15:26,555 --> 01:15:29,649
You're tra-a-a-apped!
Yah, yah, yah!
1018
01:15:29,758 --> 01:15:32,420
- Yah, yah, yah! Yah, yah, yah!
- [Laughing]
1019
01:15:32,528 --> 01:15:35,895
Yah, yah, yah, yah...
1020
01:15:35,998 --> 01:15:38,091
[Grunting]
1021
01:15:46,074 --> 01:15:48,975
Ah. It stopped raining.
1022
01:15:50,512 --> 01:15:54,642
It's very quiet.
What do you suppose he's doing?
1023
01:15:56,285 --> 01:15:58,310
Do you think
he found the jewels?
1024
01:15:58,420 --> 01:16:01,480
Shh, shh, shh.
In a moment...
1025
01:16:01,590 --> 01:16:04,150
the jury will bring in
a verdict.
1026
01:16:05,627 --> 01:16:10,087
Oh, Lord,
you're so strict! Oh!
1027
01:16:10,198 --> 01:16:12,098
Tsk.
1028
01:16:12,200 --> 01:16:14,930
Well, the last chair
is in Moscow.
1029
01:16:15,037 --> 01:16:17,835
[Fyodor Sobbing]
1030
01:16:17,940 --> 01:16:21,171
Only 3,000 miles away.
1031
01:16:21,276 --> 01:16:25,440
Come, my friend.
Let us take a stroll.
1032
01:16:25,547 --> 01:16:28,448
[Sobbing Continues]
Oh, Lord!
1033
01:16:28,550 --> 01:16:31,917
Oh, Lord,
if this is your pun...
1034
01:16:32,020 --> 01:16:36,354
[Gasping]... ishment.
1035
01:16:39,962 --> 01:16:42,362
How did I get here?
1036
01:16:45,801 --> 01:16:47,894
[Panting]
1037
01:16:48,003 --> 01:16:50,369
There's no way down.
1038
01:16:50,472 --> 01:16:53,908
There's absolutely
no way down.
1039
01:16:54,009 --> 01:16:57,274
I'm gonna need a great deal
of help to get down.
1040
01:16:57,379 --> 01:17:00,940
[Panting Continues]
1041
01:17:01,049 --> 01:17:06,681
Boys! Oh, boys!
1042
01:17:06,788 --> 01:17:10,724
Yoo-hoo.! Vorobyaninov.!
1043
01:17:10,826 --> 01:17:14,193
I have always liked you.
You know that.
1044
01:17:14,296 --> 01:17:17,754
We come
from the same village.
1045
01:17:17,866 --> 01:17:22,530
For 25 years,
I have been your priest.
1046
01:17:22,638 --> 01:17:26,074
Oh, for Christ's sake,
get me down!
1047
01:17:31,580 --> 01:17:36,381
Get... me... down.![Echoes]
1048
01:19:30,632 --> 01:19:35,296
[Train Whistle Blowing]
1049
01:19:51,486 --> 01:19:55,115
- I'm hungry.
- Where did you lose the man with the chair?
1050
01:19:55,223 --> 01:19:58,215
Look around.
Does anything look familiar?
1051
01:20:02,664 --> 01:20:05,827
- [Brass Band: "The International"]
- All right. Come on.
1052
01:20:08,637 --> 01:20:10,605
[Continues]
1053
01:20:20,682 --> 01:20:23,617
I now officially open...
1054
01:20:23,718 --> 01:20:26,778
the Moscow Railway Workers'...
1055
01:20:26,888 --> 01:20:30,915
Communal House of Recreation.
1056
01:20:31,026 --> 01:20:35,725
[Resumes]
1057
01:20:39,835 --> 01:20:43,430
[Continues]
1058
01:20:43,538 --> 01:20:47,531
[Applause]
1059
01:20:51,546 --> 01:20:54,982
May it serve to comfort...
1060
01:20:55,083 --> 01:20:58,780
those brave heroes
of Soviet transportation...
1061
01:20:58,887 --> 01:21:02,789
the railway workers
of the U.S.S.R.!
1062
01:21:02,891 --> 01:21:05,382
[Applause]
1063
01:21:07,462 --> 01:21:12,365
A free buffet lunch will
be served immediately.
1064
01:21:12,467 --> 01:21:15,368
[All Cheering]
1065
01:21:19,708 --> 01:21:22,939
[Excited Chattering]
1066
01:21:24,646 --> 01:21:27,638
[Man]Come on.! Come on.! There's other people waiting.
1067
01:21:27,749 --> 01:21:29,979
[Shouting Continues]
1068
01:21:30,085 --> 01:21:32,076
Let's go!
1069
01:21:37,959 --> 01:21:40,484
What are you doing?
Go on!
1070
01:21:40,595 --> 01:21:44,395
[Shouting Continues]
1071
01:21:44,499 --> 01:21:47,332
I didn't get a roll.
I didn't get a roll!
1072
01:21:47,435 --> 01:21:51,269
[Shouting Continues]
1073
01:22:05,987 --> 01:22:07,887
Here.
1074
01:22:26,641 --> 01:22:29,804
Would you mind very muchif I took something from your plate?
1075
01:22:29,911 --> 01:22:32,072
I didn't get a chance
to get any food.
1076
01:22:32,180 --> 01:22:34,944
There was a greedy pig
holding up the line.
1077
01:22:37,652 --> 01:22:39,552
Animal.
1078
01:22:42,057 --> 01:22:44,423
[Spitting]
1079
01:22:47,429 --> 01:22:49,761
Thirsty.
1080
01:23:24,299 --> 01:23:27,894
Ostap. Ostap!
1081
01:23:28,003 --> 01:23:29,994
Yes, old man.
1082
01:23:31,106 --> 01:23:33,404
The last chair.
1083
01:23:44,886 --> 01:23:48,982
See! We are not
the only smart ones.
1084
01:23:49,090 --> 01:23:52,685
Hello, comrades!
[Chuckles]
1085
01:23:52,794 --> 01:23:56,855
Hello. Hello, comrades.
Welcome.
1086
01:24:02,337 --> 01:24:04,601
[Growls]
1087
01:24:06,307 --> 01:24:08,207
Eat.
1088
01:24:11,146 --> 01:24:13,671
Take your eyesoff that chair.
1089
01:24:13,782 --> 01:24:16,580
I'm gonna checkthe window.
1090
01:24:26,094 --> 01:24:27,994
[Man]Mm-hmm.
1091
01:24:29,431 --> 01:24:31,399
[Clicks]
1092
01:24:41,976 --> 01:24:44,774
I have unfastened
the window latch...
1093
01:24:44,879 --> 01:24:48,940
and we will return tonight
after the club has closed.
1094
01:24:54,489 --> 01:24:56,389
Shh.
1095
01:25:20,315 --> 01:25:23,113
One, two, three!
[Grunts]
1096
01:25:23,218 --> 01:25:26,745
- Come on.
- [Grunting Continues]
1097
01:25:26,855 --> 01:25:28,982
Come on!
1098
01:25:40,401 --> 01:25:43,632
- Chair. Where is the chair?
- You're sitting on it.
1099
01:25:43,738 --> 01:25:46,798
Here. Let me do it.
Let me do it!
1100
01:26:02,690 --> 01:26:06,148
Well? Well, well,
well, well?
1101
01:26:08,930 --> 01:26:12,764
- They're not here.
- What?
1102
01:26:12,867 --> 01:26:15,631
They're not here.
1103
01:26:15,737 --> 01:26:18,831
The jewels are not here.
1104
01:26:20,942 --> 01:26:24,708
It can't be.
It can't be.
1105
01:26:24,812 --> 01:26:29,442
It can't be. Do you hear me?
It can't be!
1106
01:26:29,551 --> 01:26:32,111
[Door Opens]
1107
01:26:32,220 --> 01:26:34,620
What's going on here?
1108
01:26:36,558 --> 01:26:38,458
What are you doing?
1109
01:26:38,560 --> 01:26:42,690
Where are my jewels?
My jewels were in this chair.
1110
01:26:42,797 --> 01:26:45,823
They were your jewels?
1111
01:26:45,934 --> 01:26:49,631
What do you mean "were"?They are.
1112
01:26:49,737 --> 01:26:52,433
Are my jewels.
Where are they?
1113
01:26:52,540 --> 01:26:55,634
Where are they?
Look around you.
1114
01:26:55,743 --> 01:26:59,839
See these chess tables,
all this fine furniture?
1115
01:26:59,948 --> 01:27:01,973
This club was builtwith them.
1116
01:27:02,083 --> 01:27:04,313
When were they found?
1117
01:27:04,419 --> 01:27:08,321
Four months ago.
Right on this spot in the old club.
1118
01:27:08,423 --> 01:27:11,449
Kaminsky was putting up
a curtain.
1119
01:27:11,559 --> 01:27:13,789
He was standing on a chair.
1120
01:27:13,895 --> 01:27:17,353
Suddenly, bang, his shoe
went right through the seat...
1121
01:27:17,465 --> 01:27:19,763
and all that stuff
came tumbling out...
1122
01:27:19,867 --> 01:27:23,564
diamonds, rubies,
necklaces.
1123
01:27:23,671 --> 01:27:26,902
It was a miracle.
1124
01:27:28,243 --> 01:27:32,304
No, no.
They were mine.
1125
01:27:33,715 --> 01:27:35,910
Mine.
1126
01:27:44,325 --> 01:27:47,783
[Screaming]
1127
01:27:47,895 --> 01:27:51,331
- [Shouting]
- I'd better get the police!
1128
01:27:51,432 --> 01:27:54,526
Help.! Police.! Help.!
1129
01:28:00,908 --> 01:28:04,207
- See? See? He's mad!
- You! Put that down!
1130
01:28:04,312 --> 01:28:08,681
Oh, you wanna play rough, eh?
[Grunts]
1131
01:28:08,783 --> 01:28:10,774
That has done it.
1132
01:28:12,287 --> 01:28:15,051
Come on.
We better make tracks.
1133
01:28:15,156 --> 01:28:17,215
Never hit a policeman.
1134
01:28:17,325 --> 01:28:20,158
Never, ever
hit a policeman.
1135
01:28:40,581 --> 01:28:42,344
Halt!
1136
01:28:42,450 --> 01:28:44,350
- It's too high.
- The horse.
1137
01:28:44,452 --> 01:28:46,545
- The horse?
- Jump!
1138
01:28:46,654 --> 01:28:48,986
- Come on.
- Halt!
1139
01:28:49,090 --> 01:28:51,581
- Come on!
- Halt! Halt!
1140
01:28:51,693 --> 01:28:53,718
[Horse Neighs]
1141
01:30:14,876 --> 01:30:17,140
[Blowing]
1142
01:30:23,818 --> 01:30:26,616
[Sighs]
1143
01:30:26,721 --> 01:30:29,019
Why don't you
get rid of that thing?
1144
01:30:34,695 --> 01:30:37,630
Listen, old man.
[Sighs]
1145
01:30:37,732 --> 01:30:40,860
We have got to split up.
1146
01:30:43,337 --> 01:30:45,931
It's the only
sensible thing to do.
1147
01:30:46,040 --> 01:30:49,168
The police are looking for
a handsome, young desperado...
1148
01:30:49,277 --> 01:30:52,474
and a crazy old man
with a broken chair.
1149
01:30:52,580 --> 01:30:54,946
I think I'll do
better without you.
1150
01:30:57,018 --> 01:30:59,680
Look, what are you
shaking your head for?
1151
01:30:59,787 --> 01:31:02,756
I'm not taking a vote.
I'm telling you something.
1152
01:31:02,857 --> 01:31:05,690
This partnership is over,
dissolved, finished.
1153
01:31:05,793 --> 01:31:08,353
The company is bankrupt.
1154
01:31:10,531 --> 01:31:15,161
Look. Here.
Look, you maniac.
1155
01:31:15,269 --> 01:31:17,169
Three kopecks!
1156
01:31:17,271 --> 01:31:20,729
How far can we go together
on three kopecks?
1157
01:31:20,842 --> 01:31:24,278
I simply can't
afford you anymore!
1158
01:31:59,614 --> 01:32:01,548
[Grunts]
1159
01:32:01,649 --> 01:32:03,810
[Chair Crashes]
1160
01:32:03,918 --> 01:32:06,148
[Crowd Murmuring]
1161
01:32:08,289 --> 01:32:11,019
[Murmuring Continues]
1162
01:32:16,297 --> 01:32:19,164
[Chattering]
1163
01:32:38,019 --> 01:32:42,115
Epilepsy, my friends!
Epilepsy!
1164
01:32:42,223 --> 01:32:45,317
The same diseasethat struck down...
1165
01:32:45,426 --> 01:32:48,122
our own beloved Dostoievsky.
1166
01:32:48,229 --> 01:32:50,663
Give.
1167
01:32:50,765 --> 01:32:53,029
Give...
1168
01:32:53,134 --> 01:32:57,002
from the bottom of your hearts.
1169
01:32:58,002 --> 01:33:08,002
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