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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:42,334 --> 00:00:43,634 (TlCKlNG) 2 00:00:51,301 --> 00:00:52,641 MALE RADlO ANNOUNCER: Last week, Flash Gordon 3 00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:53,970 defended the Witch Queen Azura 4 00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:55,354 from the attack of the Death dwarfs. 5 00:00:55,431 --> 00:00:58,221 Paul, having proclaimed himself King of Blue Magic Land 6 00:00:58,308 --> 00:01:01,598 offered John the Hawkman the command of the army... 7 00:01:01,687 --> 00:01:03,307 (DlSTORTED CHATTERlNG) 8 00:01:05,107 --> 00:01:06,477 (PAUL THE DOG BARKS) 9 00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:08,147 (SNlFFlNG) 10 00:01:13,490 --> 00:01:14,910 (WHlMPERlNG) 11 00:01:16,535 --> 00:01:18,115 (BARKlNG) 12 00:01:20,956 --> 00:01:22,706 YOUNG TARA: Go on, then, Paul. 13 00:01:22,791 --> 00:01:24,131 Don't be long. 14 00:01:42,895 --> 00:01:44,395 (PAUL THE DOG BARKlNG) 15 00:01:46,315 --> 00:01:47,475 YOUNG TARA: Paul? 16 00:01:47,566 --> 00:01:49,066 (HlGH-PlTCHED BEEPlNG) 17 00:01:51,695 --> 00:01:52,855 Paul? 18 00:01:59,203 --> 00:02:00,333 Paul. 19 00:02:02,372 --> 00:02:03,462 (PAUL THE DOG YELPS) 20 00:02:28,565 --> 00:02:29,765 (PUNK ROCK MUSlC PLAYlNG) 21 00:02:29,858 --> 00:02:31,228 (GRUNTlNG) 22 00:02:33,237 --> 00:02:34,567 (BOTH SCOFFlNG) 23 00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:50,629 (GRUNTlNG) 24 00:02:51,421 --> 00:02:52,921 (WAR CRY) 25 00:02:56,260 --> 00:02:57,970 (ALL CHEERlNG) 26 00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:03,431 -He winked at me! He winked at me! -Whoo! 27 00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:36,835 l love it here. 28 00:03:36,925 --> 00:03:39,005 You know, it feels so... 29 00:03:39,094 --> 00:03:40,764 -Right. -Yeah. 30 00:03:40,846 --> 00:03:43,716 We're 5,339 miles from home 31 00:03:43,807 --> 00:03:46,267 and yet, somehow, l feel like we belong. 32 00:03:46,351 --> 00:03:48,271 l know what you mean. 33 00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:52,023 l think this is probably the most fun l have ever had. 34 00:03:52,107 --> 00:03:54,437 l'm so glad we came, Clive. 35 00:03:55,319 --> 00:03:56,319 Clive? 36 00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:00,069 -May l? -Be my guest. 37 00:04:00,157 --> 00:04:02,327 -Thank you. -l was over there, on my own. 38 00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:04,289 That there is the Black Vampire. 39 00:04:04,703 --> 00:04:05,753 Watch out. 40 00:04:05,829 --> 00:04:06,999 She bites. 41 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:08,080 How much? 42 00:04:08,165 --> 00:04:10,875 $1 ,349.99. 43 00:04:13,879 --> 00:04:14,879 Aren't you gonna get it? 44 00:04:14,963 --> 00:04:15,963 (SPEAKlNG KLlNGON) 45 00:04:16,048 --> 00:04:17,088 Fair enough. 46 00:04:19,051 --> 00:04:21,141 l can't believe we're gonna meet Adam Shadowchild. 47 00:04:21,219 --> 00:04:23,759 (NERVOUS CHUCKLE) l know. He's, like, the coolest man in the world. 48 00:04:24,222 --> 00:04:25,812 Thank you. 49 00:04:27,059 --> 00:04:29,519 Come forth. Welcome, my friends. 50 00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:33,185 l just wanted to say that the Planet Fall trilogy has been a huge influence 51 00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:35,363 on me and on my work. 52 00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:37,942 Don't tell me. You're a writer. 53 00:04:38,654 --> 00:04:40,664 -l am, yeah. -Well, good. 54 00:04:40,739 --> 00:04:43,449 He actually won a Nebulon Award in 1 992. 55 00:04:43,533 --> 00:04:46,583 For best science fiction short story by a male under 1 6. 56 00:04:46,662 --> 00:04:48,662 -l'm working on a follow-up. -Oh. 57 00:04:48,747 --> 00:04:49,827 Oh, l'd love to see that. 58 00:04:49,915 --> 00:04:51,115 Not today. 59 00:04:51,208 --> 00:04:52,998 No, no. lt's a legal thing. 60 00:04:53,085 --> 00:04:55,375 l'm sure it's good. 61 00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:58,302 That is a wonderful cover. Three tits. 62 00:05:00,258 --> 00:05:01,338 Awesome. 63 00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:03,926 -That was Graeme, my illustrator. -l'm an artist. 64 00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:06,061 l'm hoping to complete it soon. 65 00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:09,269 l'm just having a bit of trouble with the ending. 66 00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:13,016 Well, a wise man said, 67 00:05:13,105 --> 00:05:16,065 "You have to spin a good yarn before you can weave a great dream." 68 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:17,980 Who said that? 69 00:05:18,068 --> 00:05:19,398 l did. l just said that. 70 00:05:19,611 --> 00:05:20,861 MALE SECURlTY GUARD: Move along, please, guys. 71 00:05:20,946 --> 00:05:21,946 Yes. 72 00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:23,820 -Very nice to meet you. -No, no... 73 00:05:23,907 --> 00:05:25,157 Thank you. 74 00:05:27,744 --> 00:05:29,294 -You bought a book? -No. 75 00:05:29,371 --> 00:05:30,871 Then fuck off. 76 00:05:30,956 --> 00:05:33,496 Let's get a picture of you, me and Adam. 77 00:05:33,583 --> 00:05:35,173 -Okay, ready. -Ready. 78 00:05:37,295 --> 00:05:38,295 -(EXCLAlMS) -(CLlCKS) 79 00:05:38,380 --> 00:05:40,210 (ROMANTlC MUSlC PLAYlNG) 80 00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:43,587 GRAEME: Yes. 81 00:05:44,636 --> 00:05:45,926 Yes. 82 00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:48,012 -ls that the RV place? -Yes. 83 00:05:48,098 --> 00:05:50,308 And there's definitely two single beds? 84 00:05:50,434 --> 00:05:53,644 Because there's been a bit of a mix-up at the hotel. 85 00:05:53,729 --> 00:05:55,729 Okay. Excellent. Thank you very much. 86 00:05:55,814 --> 00:05:58,734 And have a nice day to you, as well. 87 00:06:00,068 --> 00:06:02,108 -ls it here? -lt's in the car park. 88 00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:03,525 l think you mean "the parking lot." 89 00:06:03,613 --> 00:06:04,953 (lN FORCED AMERlCAN ACCENT) l sure do. 90 00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:07,317 l did my American voice. 91 00:06:07,409 --> 00:06:08,869 (SlGHS) 92 00:06:09,161 --> 00:06:11,661 lt's amazing, isn't it? We're actually here. America. 93 00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:13,330 Huh? 94 00:06:13,415 --> 00:06:15,955 How long have we dreamt about this? 95 00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:17,882 -Since we were kids. -Yeah. 96 00:06:18,336 --> 00:06:20,586 Now look at us. Grown men. 97 00:06:20,672 --> 00:06:21,672 (DOORBELL BUZZlNG) 98 00:06:21,757 --> 00:06:23,217 BOTH: Pizza! 99 00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:25,841 -Hi! -Hiya! 100 00:06:26,344 --> 00:06:28,354 -Good evening, sir. -Come on in. 101 00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:33,175 -Where can l set this down? -You could put it on the bed. 102 00:06:33,769 --> 00:06:34,939 You guys on honeymoon? 103 00:06:35,020 --> 00:06:36,060 (BOTH LAUGHlNG) 104 00:06:36,146 --> 00:06:37,396 No. 105 00:06:38,356 --> 00:06:40,316 No, silly. We're just friends. 106 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,820 GRAEME: We had a mix-up. The reservations were messed up. 107 00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:44,903 Pop it on the table here. Let me clear that. 108 00:06:45,864 --> 00:06:48,284 -Ah, going on a road trip? -Yeah. Yes. 109 00:06:48,366 --> 00:06:50,946 What better way to follow Comic-Con 110 00:06:51,036 --> 00:06:54,206 than a tour ofAmerica's most famous UFO hotspots? 111 00:06:54,539 --> 00:06:55,539 Huh? 112 00:06:56,708 --> 00:07:00,708 We're going to Area 51 and the Black Mailbox in Nevada, 113 00:07:00,837 --> 00:07:03,877 then down to Camp Verde, then to Apache Junction 114 00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:08,175 and then on down to Roswell, New Mexico for the site of the famous crash of '47. 115 00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:09,601 -No. -Everybody knows that. 116 00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:12,179 Stop it! lt's an alleged site at this point. 117 00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:13,425 Why would they admit there was a crash, 118 00:07:13,517 --> 00:07:14,677 if the crash happened somewhere else? 119 00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:17,308 BOTH: Let's just agree to disagree, all right? 120 00:07:17,395 --> 00:07:18,555 That's what we always say at the end. 121 00:07:18,647 --> 00:07:20,017 (BOTH LAUGHlNG) 122 00:07:21,483 --> 00:07:23,073 Do you believe in aliens? 123 00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:25,490 What do you mean, "aliens"? 124 00:07:27,823 --> 00:07:29,203 (BUZZlNG LlPS) 125 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:31,830 l'll sign that check, shall l? 126 00:07:31,910 --> 00:07:35,330 Get that out of your way. Pizza grease on a map is the worst thing. 127 00:07:36,164 --> 00:07:37,584 (BOTH SlGHlNG) 128 00:07:38,416 --> 00:07:40,496 We should turn in. We got an early start in the morning. 129 00:07:40,585 --> 00:07:41,835 Yeah. 130 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:43,210 What do you think you're gonna dream about? 131 00:07:43,588 --> 00:07:47,168 Oh, the open road. High adventure. That kind of thing. 132 00:07:47,259 --> 00:07:48,259 Mmm. 133 00:07:48,343 --> 00:07:50,473 -You? -Wonder Woman. 134 00:07:50,554 --> 00:07:52,354 -Please don't. -Okay. 135 00:07:53,849 --> 00:07:55,099 -You ready? -Yeah. 136 00:07:55,183 --> 00:07:56,563 Okay. And... 137 00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:58,443 BOTH: Three, two, one. 138 00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:04,186 What an amazing Con. 139 00:08:04,276 --> 00:08:05,856 That, my friend, was just the beginning. 140 00:08:10,073 --> 00:08:11,243 Here you go. 141 00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:12,494 That's not ours. 142 00:08:12,576 --> 00:08:13,696 No? 143 00:08:13,785 --> 00:08:16,365 No. That's ours. 144 00:08:31,303 --> 00:08:32,853 (HORN HONKlNG) 145 00:08:33,221 --> 00:08:34,681 Fucking orcs! 146 00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:55,487 (BOTH GRUNTlNG) 147 00:08:57,329 --> 00:08:58,499 That one. 148 00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:01,166 (GROANlNG) 149 00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:03,495 (GRUNTlNG) 150 00:09:04,836 --> 00:09:05,836 CLlVE: Oh. 151 00:09:05,962 --> 00:09:07,382 GRAEME: Oh! People! 152 00:09:15,263 --> 00:09:16,853 (THUNDER RUMBLlNG) 153 00:09:22,479 --> 00:09:23,769 GRAEME: Smile. 154 00:09:23,855 --> 00:09:25,185 (CLlCKS) 155 00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:28,686 "Watch the skies" or "Alien on board"? 156 00:09:28,777 --> 00:09:30,317 (ROCK AND ROLL MUSlC PLAYlNG) 157 00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:31,613 "Alien on board," please. 158 00:09:31,696 --> 00:09:34,566 Okay. lf you're sure. 159 00:09:35,742 --> 00:09:38,292 So, how was Comic-Con? 160 00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:40,123 We met Adam Shadowchild. 161 00:09:40,205 --> 00:09:42,455 Who the hell is Adam Shadowchild? 162 00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:44,710 Oh, hewrote The Venusian Pangenesis. 163 00:09:45,043 --> 00:09:46,043 l didn't read that one. 164 00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:48,047 Jenny Starpepper and the Great Brass Hen? 165 00:09:48,129 --> 00:09:49,129 No. 166 00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:50,424 The Robot's Mistress? 167 00:09:50,507 --> 00:09:51,717 l like romances. 168 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:53,300 That's kind of a romance. 169 00:09:53,385 --> 00:09:55,925 -Between a woman and a machine? -Yeah. 170 00:09:56,012 --> 00:09:57,722 l hear that. (LAUGHlNG) 171 00:09:57,806 --> 00:09:59,176 (CHUCKLES) 172 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,310 Do you get a lot of UFO types around here? 173 00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:05,097 Some. 174 00:10:08,191 --> 00:10:09,401 Do you believe? 175 00:10:09,484 --> 00:10:11,284 Oh, yes, l do. 176 00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:15,318 Been a lot of strange happenings in these parts. 177 00:10:15,407 --> 00:10:18,077 Ah, it'd be a shame if we were the only souls in the universe. 178 00:10:19,244 --> 00:10:20,834 Probability alone suggests not. 179 00:10:20,912 --> 00:10:24,582 You know, there are 200 billion galaxies in the observable universe. 180 00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:26,543 Oh. 181 00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,036 Makes you think, doesn't it? 182 00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:29,668 BOTH: What? 183 00:10:30,171 --> 00:10:31,921 Where is everybody? 184 00:10:37,012 --> 00:10:38,012 -Boo! -(BOTH YELL) 185 00:10:39,055 --> 00:10:40,255 -Oh. -(PAT LAUGHS) 186 00:10:40,348 --> 00:10:41,848 Gotcha. 187 00:10:41,933 --> 00:10:43,773 So, you fellows set or can l get you something else? 188 00:10:43,852 --> 00:10:45,942 Oh, l think l would like a refill of coffee, please, Pat. 189 00:10:46,021 --> 00:10:48,061 All right, then. How about you, pumpkin? 190 00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:50,898 Can l have an E.T. Malt, please? 191 00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:52,784 Mmm. You want that with a sparkler? 192 00:10:54,279 --> 00:10:56,029 -Yeah. -(LAUGHS) 193 00:10:56,114 --> 00:10:58,284 l will take that as a yes. 194 00:10:59,075 --> 00:11:01,735 l think l might do a toilet. 195 00:11:03,872 --> 00:11:04,962 (CLlVE LAUGHlNG) 196 00:11:05,540 --> 00:11:07,460 Pretty funny. 197 00:11:09,961 --> 00:11:12,381 He's sitting right there on top of that bull, 198 00:11:12,464 --> 00:11:15,804 and he goes, "(STAMMERlNG) Cut her loose." 199 00:11:22,932 --> 00:11:24,222 What? 200 00:11:25,977 --> 00:11:27,097 l don't know you. 201 00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:28,397 Ooh. 202 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:29,900 Comics. 203 00:11:29,981 --> 00:11:31,821 JAKE: What was that about? 204 00:11:31,900 --> 00:11:33,820 How you think that makes me feel? 205 00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:37,070 Be rude to me? 206 00:11:38,656 --> 00:11:41,696 Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. 207 00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:43,115 Ooh! Eggy, 208 00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:45,043 an alien just sicked up in my palms. 209 00:11:45,121 --> 00:11:46,251 Clive... 210 00:11:46,331 --> 00:11:47,621 CLlVE: (LAUGHlNG) What? 211 00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:48,917 -l'm joking. -Stop it. 212 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:51,960 They've got a soap dispenser in there shaped like an alien's head. lt's brilliant! 213 00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:53,245 -(WHlSPERlNG) Someone's here. -What? 214 00:11:53,338 --> 00:11:55,378 PAT: Here it comes! 215 00:11:55,465 --> 00:11:56,795 (PAT MlMlCKlNG SPACESHlP ENGlNE) 216 00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:00,385 (LAUGHS) 217 00:12:00,470 --> 00:12:01,550 What in... 218 00:12:06,351 --> 00:12:08,851 Hey, fellas! How you doing today? 219 00:12:08,937 --> 00:12:11,437 What is this, some kind of gay bar? 220 00:12:11,523 --> 00:12:13,693 No. Just a place where you can get a bite to eat 221 00:12:13,775 --> 00:12:15,525 and maybe share a close encounter. 222 00:12:15,610 --> 00:12:17,570 Yeah. lt sounds like a gay bar. 223 00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:20,487 (LAUGHS) Oh, no, we're just friends. 224 00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:24,540 PAT: So, you guys look like you could do with a couple beers. 225 00:12:24,619 --> 00:12:25,989 You go do that. 226 00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:27,909 All right. You do that. 227 00:12:29,791 --> 00:12:30,831 Yes. 228 00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:32,377 Get a sip. l'll get this. 229 00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:34,210 GRAEME: Just leave it. 230 00:12:34,295 --> 00:12:35,955 CLlVE: Thank you very much. 231 00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:42,297 -What are you doing? -(GRAEME CLEARS THROAT) 232 00:12:42,387 --> 00:12:44,297 Don't you put those queer eyes on me. 233 00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:45,849 l'm not. l forgot the sticker. 234 00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:47,306 What took you so long? 235 00:12:47,392 --> 00:12:49,312 -l was putting the sticker on. -Oh. 236 00:12:49,394 --> 00:12:50,694 They were an odd pair, weren't they? 237 00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:53,770 Yeah, definitely not my kind of people. 238 00:12:53,857 --> 00:12:57,027 l doubt very much we'll be seeing them again. 239 00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:58,400 -(CRASH) -Oh! 240 00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:01,489 -That wasn't their truck, was it? -No. 241 00:13:01,573 --> 00:13:03,323 -Should l go and have a look? -No! 242 00:13:20,008 --> 00:13:21,798 The Black Mailbox. 243 00:13:22,719 --> 00:13:24,009 CLlVE: Wow! 244 00:13:24,095 --> 00:13:26,595 This is probably the coolest thing l've ever seen. 245 00:13:26,681 --> 00:13:28,471 Do you remember when we Googled it on your mum's computer 246 00:13:28,558 --> 00:13:30,268 and the phone rang and you thought it was the FBl? 247 00:13:30,351 --> 00:13:32,191 l didn't really think it was the FBl. 248 00:13:32,270 --> 00:13:34,270 -You started crying. -l had jet lag. 249 00:13:34,355 --> 00:13:35,645 We'd only been to Brussels. 250 00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:37,822 Go stand next to it. Yep. 251 00:13:38,610 --> 00:13:39,690 Smile. 252 00:13:39,777 --> 00:13:41,027 (CLlCKS) 253 00:13:41,112 --> 00:13:43,782 Hey, imagine if we got buzzed by a craft. 254 00:13:43,865 --> 00:13:45,485 That would be amazing, wouldn't it? 255 00:13:45,575 --> 00:13:47,195 lt just hovers over us 256 00:13:47,285 --> 00:13:51,035 and then all the coins in our pockets go magnetic, and then we get sunburned. 257 00:13:51,122 --> 00:13:52,412 Then it just goes up really quickly. 258 00:13:52,790 --> 00:13:54,830 (MlMlCKlNG SPACESHlP FLYlNG) 259 00:13:55,793 --> 00:13:56,883 (MlMlCKlNG SPACESHlP DlSAPPEARlNG) 260 00:13:59,714 --> 00:14:00,884 Smile! 261 00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:01,965 (CLlCKS) 262 00:14:03,635 --> 00:14:05,385 What would you do if they actually landed? 263 00:14:05,470 --> 00:14:08,390 Well, first contact is a big responsibility, isn't it? 264 00:14:08,473 --> 00:14:11,563 They come in peace, we go to pieces? Uh-uh. 265 00:14:11,643 --> 00:14:12,813 That's not how l roll. 266 00:14:12,894 --> 00:14:14,104 -No. -(TlRES SCREECHlNG) 267 00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:15,227 (HORN HONKlNG) 268 00:14:15,313 --> 00:14:16,693 What's that? 269 00:14:23,780 --> 00:14:26,200 Do you think that's those men? 270 00:14:26,991 --> 00:14:28,081 No. 271 00:14:30,662 --> 00:14:32,042 We've seen enough. 272 00:14:32,956 --> 00:14:34,496 Let's go. 273 00:14:34,582 --> 00:14:36,002 Go, go, go! 274 00:14:37,752 --> 00:14:39,092 (HORN HONKlNG) 275 00:14:40,964 --> 00:14:42,054 Oh, they're gaining. 276 00:14:42,131 --> 00:14:43,341 This is like Deliverance! 277 00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:45,094 They're going to rape us and break our arms! 278 00:14:45,176 --> 00:14:46,546 l don't want my arms broken! 279 00:14:48,429 --> 00:14:50,349 -l need the toilet. -You've just been! 280 00:14:50,431 --> 00:14:51,641 You know l've got a child's bladder. 281 00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:52,774 (HORN CONTlNUES HONKlNG) 282 00:14:55,270 --> 00:14:56,400 Don't let them get past! 283 00:14:56,479 --> 00:14:58,559 -What do you want me to do, ram them? -What about the deposit? 284 00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:04,438 -lt's not them! lt's not them! -Ah! 285 00:15:04,529 --> 00:15:05,989 -Oh, my God. -(BOTH LAUGHlNG) 286 00:15:06,531 --> 00:15:07,911 -That was awful! -(TlRES SCREECHlNG) 287 00:15:07,991 --> 00:15:09,371 That was terrifying! 288 00:15:09,784 --> 00:15:10,914 (BOTH SCREAMlNG) 289 00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:22,093 (BRAKES SCREECHlNG) 290 00:15:28,303 --> 00:15:29,393 (EXHALES) 291 00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:35,767 (RV DOOR OPENS) 292 00:15:36,019 --> 00:15:36,979 (RV DOOR CLOSES) 293 00:15:37,061 --> 00:15:38,561 (BOTH COUGHlNG) 294 00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:56,825 GRAEME: Hello? 295 00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:13,060 -(WHlSPERS) Maybe you should call for help. -Yeah. 296 00:16:13,681 --> 00:16:15,181 (DlALlNG) 297 00:16:17,101 --> 00:16:18,641 lt's ringing. 298 00:16:18,728 --> 00:16:20,188 PAUL: l wouldn't do that if l were you. 299 00:16:20,271 --> 00:16:21,731 (BOTH GASP) 300 00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:27,862 (BREATHlNG HEAVlLY) 301 00:16:28,529 --> 00:16:29,529 (GULPS) 302 00:16:32,867 --> 00:16:36,867 Put the phone down. 303 00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,207 (LAUGHS) 304 00:16:40,291 --> 00:16:41,371 Oh, fuck me. 305 00:16:41,459 --> 00:16:44,339 -What have you done to him? -l didn't do anything to him. He fainted. 306 00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:45,920 (STAMMERlNG) Yeah, but you made him faint! 307 00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:48,335 Yes. But it's not like l set my phaser to "Faint." (CHUCKLES) 308 00:16:48,424 --> 00:16:49,594 You've got a phaser? 309 00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:51,505 No, l don't... Look! Listen. 310 00:16:51,594 --> 00:16:53,974 Hey, l really need your help, okay? 311 00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:55,755 Can we get this guy back onto your wagon? 312 00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:57,468 (STAMMERlNG) 313 00:16:58,392 --> 00:16:59,602 Are you an alien? 314 00:17:00,103 --> 00:17:01,273 To you, l am, yes. 315 00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:02,524 Are you gonna probe us? 316 00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:04,685 Why does everyone always assume that? 317 00:17:04,774 --> 00:17:08,364 What am l doing? Am l harvesting farts? How much can l learn from an ass? 318 00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:09,494 (STAMMERlNG) What? 319 00:17:09,904 --> 00:17:11,574 l'm sorry. What's your name? 320 00:17:11,656 --> 00:17:13,156 lt's Graeme Willy. 321 00:17:13,241 --> 00:17:14,661 And what's his name? 322 00:17:14,742 --> 00:17:16,162 That's the writer, Clive Gollings. 323 00:17:16,244 --> 00:17:17,834 Okay, cool! l'm Paul. 324 00:17:17,912 --> 00:17:19,202 Paul? 325 00:17:19,288 --> 00:17:21,328 Yeah. lt's a nickname that stuck. 326 00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:23,665 My ship crashed on a dog. lt doesn't matter! 327 00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:25,881 Look! Can we get the writer, Clive Gollings, back on the RV 328 00:17:25,962 --> 00:17:27,422 and get the hell out of here, please? 329 00:17:27,505 --> 00:17:29,415 -l can't... -l'm in a hell of a pickle, 330 00:17:29,507 --> 00:17:32,757 and if you don't help me, l could die on this road tonight. 331 00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:35,391 l don't know. We're on quite a tight schedule. 332 00:17:36,264 --> 00:17:40,434 (SlGHS) Look, man. Sometimes, you just gotta roll the dice. 333 00:17:40,518 --> 00:17:42,518 What do you say? 334 00:17:49,944 --> 00:17:52,284 -Okay. -Okay! Perfect! Great! 335 00:17:52,363 --> 00:17:54,363 Okay, help me grab him. 336 00:17:56,534 --> 00:17:58,204 This man has peed his pants. 337 00:17:58,619 --> 00:18:00,119 Yeah, he's got a child's bladder. 338 00:18:00,371 --> 00:18:01,581 Oh, fantastic. 339 00:18:20,224 --> 00:18:22,144 Doesn't this thing go any faster? 340 00:18:22,226 --> 00:18:25,226 Well, l'm sorry, the speed limit is 70, so... 341 00:18:25,313 --> 00:18:29,483 Screw the speed limit! Actually, no. Ooh, yeah. Don't screw it. 342 00:18:29,567 --> 00:18:32,647 That's good thinking. Okay? Stay inconspicuous. That's good. 343 00:18:32,737 --> 00:18:34,197 How come l can understand you? 344 00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,450 Are you using some sort of neural language router? 345 00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:39,202 Actually, l'm speaking English, you fucking idiot. 346 00:18:39,577 --> 00:18:41,657 -That's not nice. -That was mean. 347 00:18:41,746 --> 00:18:44,156 Look, l'm little tense. l was just involved in a major car crash. 348 00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:45,368 That was your fault. 349 00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,918 l can't reach the pedals. My legs are too little. 350 00:18:48,002 --> 00:18:50,302 l had to use the parking brake, okay? 351 00:18:50,922 --> 00:18:53,302 l'm sorry. You're in shock right now. 352 00:18:54,091 --> 00:18:57,141 l understand this must be very weird for you. 353 00:18:57,220 --> 00:19:01,260 Just act normal and drive north, okay? 354 00:19:01,933 --> 00:19:04,943 We gotta get as much distance as we can between us and the Big Guy. 355 00:19:34,966 --> 00:19:36,006 (LlCKS) 356 00:19:36,092 --> 00:19:37,092 (SPlTS) 357 00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:49,477 WOMAN ON RADlO: Zoil? What's happening? 358 00:19:52,233 --> 00:19:53,733 -He's gone. -Shit! 359 00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:55,993 ZOIL: Looks like he hitched a ride, too. 360 00:19:56,070 --> 00:19:57,820 -What do you mean? -Tire tracks. 361 00:19:57,905 --> 00:19:59,485 Bastard jacked a native? 362 00:19:59,573 --> 00:20:00,743 Could be two. 363 00:20:00,825 --> 00:20:03,235 Don't you think this is all a bit of a coincidence? 364 00:20:03,577 --> 00:20:04,907 Are you suggesting he knew? 365 00:20:04,996 --> 00:20:06,616 Little fucker might have phoned home. 366 00:20:07,331 --> 00:20:09,751 There might even be a rescue party on the way. 367 00:20:09,834 --> 00:20:12,424 Zoil, we need to break out the big guns. 368 00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:16,455 Do you think that that's wise? The last thing we need is 369 00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:17,799 a hoo-ha. 370 00:20:18,259 --> 00:20:19,469 WOMAN: Maybe you're right. 371 00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:23,852 Listen, l got two rookies on a special mission 75 clicks north of you. 372 00:20:23,931 --> 00:20:25,431 l'll have them set up a roadblock. 373 00:20:25,516 --> 00:20:27,806 These are just civilians. Why don't you let me take care of it? 374 00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:29,443 You might need the extra muscle. 375 00:20:29,937 --> 00:20:33,357 Just keep them in the dark. l don't want any loose ends. 376 00:20:33,441 --> 00:20:36,441 These roads can be treacherous at night. 377 00:20:37,445 --> 00:20:41,155 People get into accidents all the time. 378 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,910 l like your thinking. Get it done. 379 00:20:52,668 --> 00:20:54,788 Heads up. We just got reassigned. 380 00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:56,090 Nice. 381 00:20:56,172 --> 00:20:57,922 What about the sandwich? 382 00:20:58,007 --> 00:20:59,757 -She said we can share it. -Oh, l love this job. 383 00:20:59,842 --> 00:21:00,932 Mmm-hmm. 384 00:21:01,010 --> 00:21:03,140 (POP MUSlC PLAYlNG ON RV STEREO) 385 00:21:07,141 --> 00:21:08,351 (URlNATlNG) 386 00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:10,018 (SNlFFlNG) 387 00:21:11,187 --> 00:21:12,477 (PAUL SlGHS lN RELlEF) 388 00:21:15,316 --> 00:21:16,516 (PAUL EXHALES) 389 00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:18,529 (TOlLET FLUSHlNG) 390 00:21:19,737 --> 00:21:22,157 -(DOOR OPENS) -PAUL: Man, l needed that. 391 00:21:28,162 --> 00:21:30,212 l love pistachios. 392 00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:32,079 l hate it when you get a closed one, right? 393 00:21:32,166 --> 00:21:34,576 GRAEME: l usually just bite them. 394 00:21:34,668 --> 00:21:35,998 PAUL: No. You don't do that at all. 395 00:21:36,087 --> 00:21:38,417 You tap them, if they don't open on their own, you throw them away. 396 00:21:38,506 --> 00:21:40,006 GRAEME: No, that's mussels. 397 00:21:40,091 --> 00:21:42,131 No, it's pistachios. 398 00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:44,430 -What the fuck? -Clive, stop it! What are you doing? 399 00:21:44,512 --> 00:21:45,552 What are you? 400 00:21:45,638 --> 00:21:47,558 (SPEAKlNG KLlNGON) 401 00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:50,230 He's okay. He's fine. He's friendly. His name's Paul. 402 00:21:50,309 --> 00:21:51,519 (GASPlNG FOR BREATH) 403 00:21:53,104 --> 00:21:54,444 Aliens aren't called "Paul." 404 00:21:54,522 --> 00:21:57,772 Was that Klingon? You psychotic nerd! 405 00:21:57,858 --> 00:22:00,278 Paul is from a small M-class planet 406 00:22:00,361 --> 00:22:02,991 in the northern spiral arm of the Andromeda Galaxy. 407 00:22:03,072 --> 00:22:04,242 Thank you. 408 00:22:04,323 --> 00:22:05,573 He looks too obvious. 409 00:22:05,658 --> 00:22:07,658 There's a reason for that, Clive. 410 00:22:07,743 --> 00:22:11,703 Over the last 60 years the human race has been drip-fed images of my face 411 00:22:11,789 --> 00:22:13,999 on lunchboxes and T-shirts and shit. 412 00:22:14,083 --> 00:22:17,463 lt's in case our species do meet, you don't have a fucking spaz attack! 413 00:22:17,545 --> 00:22:18,955 l did not have a spaz attack! 414 00:22:19,046 --> 00:22:21,546 -GRAEME: Don't do it again! -That's my fucking jorph. 415 00:22:21,632 --> 00:22:24,972 Get your fucking fingers out of there! lf l get a jorph infection, you're dead! 416 00:22:25,052 --> 00:22:27,142 -Oh, my God! (NERVOUS CHUCKLE) -Oh, shit! 417 00:22:31,767 --> 00:22:33,137 Paul. 418 00:22:33,477 --> 00:22:34,517 Paul? 419 00:22:34,770 --> 00:22:38,860 O'RElLLY: Okay, okay. This could be it. So, what are we looking for, again? 420 00:22:38,941 --> 00:22:40,111 HAGGARD: l don't know. 421 00:22:45,239 --> 00:22:48,239 -What brings you to USA? -We're on holiday. 422 00:22:48,451 --> 00:22:49,701 We've been to Comic-Con. 423 00:22:50,077 --> 00:22:52,077 -HAGGARD: Comic-Con? Don't tell O'Reilly. -(SNlFFlNG) 424 00:22:52,163 --> 00:22:54,503 -He loves that dweeb shit. -Oh. 425 00:22:54,999 --> 00:22:56,329 You guys know Benny Hill? 426 00:22:57,251 --> 00:22:58,751 -No. -No. 427 00:22:59,837 --> 00:23:01,417 O'RElLLY: Oh, my God! Look at this! 428 00:23:01,505 --> 00:23:02,625 -What? -Look at this! 429 00:23:02,715 --> 00:23:04,085 HAGGARD: What? 430 00:23:04,550 --> 00:23:06,130 These guys have met Adam Shadowchild. 431 00:23:07,052 --> 00:23:08,972 Who the hell is Adam Shadowchild? 432 00:23:09,096 --> 00:23:11,136 Hewrote The Jupiter Praxis. 433 00:23:11,515 --> 00:23:12,515 What? 434 00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:14,640 Jenny Starpepper and the Huge White Gibbon? 435 00:23:14,727 --> 00:23:15,727 Huh? 436 00:23:15,811 --> 00:23:17,021 Night of the Moths? 437 00:23:17,104 --> 00:23:19,614 Are you speaking English? What are you talking about? 438 00:23:19,690 --> 00:23:22,190 Brilliant! What was he like? 439 00:23:22,276 --> 00:23:23,686 He was a bit intense. 440 00:23:23,777 --> 00:23:25,277 Well, he's an artist. 441 00:23:25,362 --> 00:23:28,492 Let me see this. What is this, nerd porn? 442 00:23:28,574 --> 00:23:30,704 -No, that's Clive's... -lt's my novel. 443 00:23:30,784 --> 00:23:31,954 Okay. 444 00:23:32,286 --> 00:23:34,826 Ha. Three tits. That's awesome. 445 00:23:35,789 --> 00:23:37,499 You guys should have given her four tits. 446 00:23:38,292 --> 00:23:39,422 That's just sick. 447 00:23:39,793 --> 00:23:40,883 l was just saying. 448 00:23:41,795 --> 00:23:43,205 Hey, do you think this is it? 449 00:23:43,297 --> 00:23:44,877 Doubtful. What else did you find in there? 450 00:23:44,965 --> 00:23:46,875 Not much. Just some pissy jeans. 451 00:23:48,135 --> 00:23:49,465 -Clive's got a child's... -Shut up. 452 00:23:49,553 --> 00:23:50,603 Sorry. 453 00:23:50,888 --> 00:23:53,518 -Okay. You guys can go. -BOTH: Thank you. 454 00:23:53,599 --> 00:23:56,059 Can l have my... Thank you very much. 455 00:23:56,143 --> 00:23:58,023 May l ask what you're searching for? 456 00:24:00,523 --> 00:24:01,563 No. 457 00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:04,820 CLlVE: Thank you. Come on, Graeme. 458 00:24:07,279 --> 00:24:09,449 (LAUGHS) Way to go, Dirty Harry! 459 00:24:09,532 --> 00:24:10,622 That was all right, right? 460 00:24:10,699 --> 00:24:13,329 -All right? That was great energy, man. -Yeah. lt was. (GROANS lN DlSGUST) 461 00:24:13,410 --> 00:24:15,870 That's it... (GROANS) ls right. lt was like... (EXCLAlMS) Not... (GROANS) 462 00:24:15,955 --> 00:24:18,155 -l thought it was okay. -No, you're thinking about it too much. 463 00:24:18,249 --> 00:24:21,249 -You think so? Mmm-hmm. -Oh, God. They were shaking in their boots. 464 00:24:24,964 --> 00:24:27,724 l think it's pretty obvious what happened there, isn't it? 465 00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:29,470 ls it? 466 00:24:29,552 --> 00:24:32,602 The government used some kind of neurotoxic paint on the Black Mailbox. 467 00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:35,890 lt caused us to suffer a shared hallucination about an alien. 468 00:24:35,975 --> 00:24:37,265 lt makes complete sense. 469 00:24:37,726 --> 00:24:38,766 -PAUL: Wrong! -(BOTH SCREAMlNG) 470 00:24:39,770 --> 00:24:41,310 -Oh! -(TlRES SCREECHlNG) 471 00:24:45,484 --> 00:24:46,534 -(YAWNlNG) -(MlMlCKlNG LASER GUN FlRlNG) 472 00:24:46,610 --> 00:24:48,110 Your dick is gone. 473 00:24:48,195 --> 00:24:49,315 Hmm. Your balls are gone. 474 00:24:49,405 --> 00:24:50,655 -(MlMlCS FARTlNG) -(MlMlCS WHOOSHlNG) 475 00:24:50,864 --> 00:24:52,164 Oh, no! 476 00:24:53,284 --> 00:24:54,874 PAUL: What? 477 00:24:54,952 --> 00:24:57,452 Come on, grow up. You guys seen my shorts? 478 00:24:57,538 --> 00:25:00,498 How did you do that? How did you go invisible? 479 00:25:00,583 --> 00:25:02,673 Oh, it's a camouflage response. 480 00:25:02,751 --> 00:25:03,921 What, like, Predator? 481 00:25:04,003 --> 00:25:06,133 Exactly! Although l can only do it while l'm holding my breath. 482 00:25:06,213 --> 00:25:07,593 But you can do it any time you want? 483 00:25:07,965 --> 00:25:09,005 (MlMlCKlNG PREDATOR) Any time. 484 00:25:09,091 --> 00:25:10,091 (LAUGHS) 485 00:25:10,175 --> 00:25:11,625 -(MlMlCS MACHlNE MOVEMENT) -GRAEME: That's just like him. 486 00:25:11,719 --> 00:25:12,719 (MlMlCS PREDATOR GRUNTlNG) 487 00:25:12,803 --> 00:25:15,683 (EXCLAlMS lN FRUSTRATlON) Am l the only sane person here? 488 00:25:16,598 --> 00:25:17,638 Eh? 489 00:25:18,017 --> 00:25:21,097 lt's all right for you, isn't it? You'll go back to Area 51 . 490 00:25:21,186 --> 00:25:25,316 We'll be arrested for harboring a fugitive and sent to Guantanamo Bay! 491 00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:28,690 Why don't l go make some bagels and coffee? 492 00:25:28,777 --> 00:25:30,947 Leave you two alone. 493 00:25:31,613 --> 00:25:32,993 (PAUL HUMMlNG) 494 00:25:33,073 --> 00:25:34,243 What's the matter, Clive? 495 00:25:35,617 --> 00:25:39,247 There is an alien in the kitchenette, making bagels and coffee. 496 00:25:39,788 --> 00:25:42,038 -Did you want tea? -No, l don't want tea! 497 00:25:42,124 --> 00:25:44,134 Right, because tea is weird in America. 498 00:25:44,209 --> 00:25:45,539 -They leave the bag in. -(PAUL WHlSTLlNG TUNE) 499 00:25:45,627 --> 00:25:49,667 What's weird, Graeme, is the fact that we've picked up an extraterrestrial hitchhiker 500 00:25:49,798 --> 00:25:51,878 and you seem completely fine with it! 501 00:25:51,967 --> 00:25:53,967 (SlNGlNG) Bagels and coffee 502 00:25:54,053 --> 00:25:55,553 Ooh! Marmite! 503 00:25:56,138 --> 00:25:59,218 He said his life's in danger. He needs our help, you know? 504 00:26:00,809 --> 00:26:02,939 Sometimes, you've just gotta roll the dice. 505 00:26:03,771 --> 00:26:09,031 What if we wake up and find him inserting a probe into our anus? 506 00:26:09,818 --> 00:26:11,818 Apparently, they don't do that. 507 00:26:12,154 --> 00:26:14,454 PAUL: Anyone want one of these? 508 00:26:15,157 --> 00:26:17,157 Eh? Anyone? Anyone? 509 00:26:17,910 --> 00:26:18,910 Eh? 510 00:26:25,584 --> 00:26:28,094 Forty-eight, 49, 50. 511 00:26:28,170 --> 00:26:30,300 Coming! Ready or not, you son of a bitch. 512 00:26:36,261 --> 00:26:39,011 -Where's the other one? -l don't know, sir. 513 00:26:40,808 --> 00:26:42,598 Haggard! 514 00:26:42,684 --> 00:26:44,854 Sorry, it's just, we were... 515 00:26:45,521 --> 00:26:46,811 Haggard! 516 00:26:47,314 --> 00:26:48,364 (WHlSPERS) Fuck. 517 00:26:49,525 --> 00:26:50,895 (O'RElLLY LAUGHS) 518 00:26:51,610 --> 00:26:53,280 Nice. 519 00:26:53,362 --> 00:26:55,452 (WHlSPERlNG) Get over here. lt's a guy with a badge. 520 00:26:55,531 --> 00:26:58,201 We were just playing hide and seek, because we had a lot of time. 521 00:26:58,283 --> 00:26:59,623 (WHlSPERS) Hurry up! 522 00:26:59,701 --> 00:27:00,871 l was hiding. (CLEARS THROAT) 523 00:27:01,245 --> 00:27:02,445 You have any traffic through here? 524 00:27:02,538 --> 00:27:07,628 No, just a couple of hillbilly types and two nerds in an RV. 525 00:27:07,709 --> 00:27:08,749 Nerds, huh? 526 00:27:08,836 --> 00:27:11,706 Yes, they were coming from Comic-Con. They met Adam Shadowchild. 527 00:27:12,673 --> 00:27:14,013 Who the hell is Adam Shadowchild? 528 00:27:14,591 --> 00:27:17,391 Hewrote Prisonhulk Four-Forty-One, okay? 529 00:27:17,469 --> 00:27:20,599 Jenny Starpepper and the Spitting Worm. Fluxing Uranus. 530 00:27:20,931 --> 00:27:22,971 You know you're a grown man, right? 531 00:27:23,767 --> 00:27:26,637 Probably shave, pay taxes, have pubic hair? 532 00:27:26,728 --> 00:27:28,018 All of those things. 533 00:27:28,105 --> 00:27:29,805 -Did you search that vehicle? -O'RElLLY: Yes, sir. 534 00:27:29,898 --> 00:27:31,518 -What did you find? -Nothing much. 535 00:27:31,608 --> 00:27:36,608 Just a book with a green woman with three titties. 536 00:27:36,697 --> 00:27:38,157 Titties. Three titties. 537 00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:39,700 Three tits. That's awesome. 538 00:27:40,117 --> 00:27:42,157 Oh, and some pissy jeans. 539 00:27:42,286 --> 00:27:44,366 -Guy pissed himself. -Close that. 540 00:27:44,455 --> 00:27:45,955 l don't know if he had a pre-existing problem or... 541 00:27:47,082 --> 00:27:48,212 Listen to me, Frik and Fuck. 542 00:27:48,292 --> 00:27:51,212 l want everything you can remember about the pissy nerds, okay? 543 00:27:51,295 --> 00:27:52,625 We're leaving. 544 00:27:53,422 --> 00:27:54,962 What about the roadblock, sir? 545 00:27:55,048 --> 00:27:56,588 lt didn't work. 546 00:27:57,176 --> 00:27:58,216 (HAGGARD SlGHS) 547 00:27:58,302 --> 00:28:00,302 We gotta take down that roadblock. lt didn't work. 548 00:28:00,387 --> 00:28:01,467 l'm standing right next to you. 549 00:28:15,819 --> 00:28:17,449 -(HORN HONKlNG) -(YELLS) 550 00:28:18,655 --> 00:28:19,815 Hey! 551 00:28:19,907 --> 00:28:22,157 Reese's Pieces! Yes! 552 00:28:22,242 --> 00:28:23,662 Thank you. 553 00:28:31,502 --> 00:28:32,672 (CHATTERlNG ON POLlCE RADlO) 554 00:28:46,308 --> 00:28:49,518 CHRlS: l heard there was a commotion on the road after Rachel. 555 00:28:49,937 --> 00:28:51,767 TROOPER: Funny, l didn't hear nothing. 556 00:28:51,855 --> 00:28:54,975 -lt must have been the boys out at the base. -Yeah. 557 00:28:55,067 --> 00:28:56,107 -Hey. -(GASPS) 558 00:28:56,193 --> 00:28:57,193 (SHUSHES) 559 00:28:57,694 --> 00:28:59,654 -That's a bit much, isn't it? -What? 560 00:28:59,738 --> 00:29:01,068 -Put it all back. -Oh. 561 00:29:01,156 --> 00:29:04,116 Except the donuts and the chocolate milk. 562 00:29:04,201 --> 00:29:06,371 And the burritos, Cheetos and Fritos. 563 00:29:06,453 --> 00:29:10,123 -What about Paul's Reese's Pieces? -Just hurry up. Please. 564 00:29:14,545 --> 00:29:15,795 No, you go right ahead. 565 00:29:15,879 --> 00:29:18,459 Are you sure? Thank you. Thank you. 566 00:29:18,882 --> 00:29:20,262 -That beast outside yours? -BOTH: What? 567 00:29:20,801 --> 00:29:23,471 -GRAEME: What do you mean "beast"? -Your RV? 568 00:29:23,554 --> 00:29:25,564 Oh, the... Yes. The RV is... 569 00:29:25,639 --> 00:29:27,269 No... Yes. 570 00:29:27,349 --> 00:29:28,519 Where are you boys from? 571 00:29:29,309 --> 00:29:30,559 -England. -England. 572 00:29:30,644 --> 00:29:33,154 l heard about England. No guns. 573 00:29:34,481 --> 00:29:36,151 -Not many. -Not really. 574 00:29:36,233 --> 00:29:38,153 Just, you know, farmers. 575 00:29:39,319 --> 00:29:41,569 How are police supposed to shoot anybody? 576 00:29:43,365 --> 00:29:45,235 -They don't. -They try not to. 577 00:29:49,997 --> 00:29:50,997 (CASH REGlSTER DlNGS) 578 00:29:51,081 --> 00:29:52,671 That'll be $1 5.58. 579 00:29:54,501 --> 00:29:58,961 $20. Just keep the change, and give it to charity, or something. 580 00:30:03,885 --> 00:30:05,675 PAUL: You did amazing, Graeme! 581 00:30:05,762 --> 00:30:07,642 That cop didn't suspect a thing! 582 00:30:07,723 --> 00:30:08,853 And, Clive, 583 00:30:09,349 --> 00:30:10,929 you didn't pee your pants. 584 00:30:11,018 --> 00:30:14,808 l don't mean to be a stick in the mud, but you are asking a lot of us, all right? 585 00:30:14,896 --> 00:30:18,066 We've only just met, we don't know where we're going, or why. 586 00:30:18,150 --> 00:30:20,110 You don't think we're due an explanation? 587 00:30:20,193 --> 00:30:23,073 Look, the less you guys know, the better. 588 00:30:23,155 --> 00:30:24,775 l want you to have plausible deniability. 589 00:30:24,865 --> 00:30:25,905 (SlGHS) 590 00:30:25,991 --> 00:30:30,331 Let's just say l spent a long time at that base thinking l was a guest. 591 00:30:30,412 --> 00:30:31,582 Turns out 592 00:30:31,663 --> 00:30:33,713 l was a prisoner. 593 00:30:33,790 --> 00:30:37,210 But don't worry. l got it all under... 594 00:30:37,294 --> 00:30:38,294 (ALL SCREAMlNG) 595 00:30:38,378 --> 00:30:39,498 (BRAKES SCREECHlNG) 596 00:30:44,134 --> 00:30:45,894 Fuck, that made me jump. 597 00:30:45,969 --> 00:30:47,219 Poor little thing! 598 00:30:47,304 --> 00:30:49,224 Nothing you could've done, mate. 599 00:30:53,602 --> 00:30:55,192 What you doing? 600 00:30:55,687 --> 00:30:57,017 PAUL: Just watch. 601 00:31:01,151 --> 00:31:14,081 (GRUNTlNG) 602 00:31:16,041 --> 00:31:17,171 (CHlRPlNG) 603 00:31:19,002 --> 00:31:20,542 (ALL LAUGHlNG) 604 00:31:21,296 --> 00:31:22,376 lt's a miracle! 605 00:31:23,423 --> 00:31:24,423 (EXCLAlMS lN DlSGUST) 606 00:31:24,508 --> 00:31:25,548 -(PAUL GRUNTS) -(GASPS) 607 00:31:25,634 --> 00:31:27,724 Man, l'm gonna miss these. Mmm. 608 00:31:27,803 --> 00:31:29,013 (EXCLAlMlNG lN DELlGHT) 609 00:31:29,096 --> 00:31:30,216 Why would you do that? 610 00:31:30,305 --> 00:31:32,515 l'm not going to eat a dead bird, am l? 611 00:31:32,599 --> 00:31:33,599 (COUGHS) 612 00:31:33,684 --> 00:31:36,064 (ROCK MUSlC PLAYlNG ON RV STEREO) 613 00:31:36,144 --> 00:31:37,854 PAUL: (SlNGlNG ALONG) Going out of my mind 614 00:31:39,064 --> 00:31:41,904 You got me thinking that l'm wasting my time 615 00:31:42,109 --> 00:31:43,189 Don't bring me down 616 00:31:43,276 --> 00:31:44,276 Come on, guys! 617 00:31:44,361 --> 00:31:46,701 1 1 :00, 1 2:00! 1 1 :00, 1 2:00! 618 00:31:46,780 --> 00:31:47,780 Come on! lt's fun! 619 00:31:48,782 --> 00:31:51,372 lf you think about it, it's time travel. 620 00:31:56,123 --> 00:31:57,673 1 1 :00, 1 2:00! 621 00:31:58,166 --> 00:31:59,786 Yes! All right! 622 00:32:03,922 --> 00:32:06,262 PAUL: Let me see. GRAEME: No, just sit still. 623 00:32:07,467 --> 00:32:10,177 You gonna draw me like one of your French girls, Jack? 624 00:32:10,262 --> 00:32:11,302 (KlSSlNG) 625 00:32:12,681 --> 00:32:14,311 l'm joking. l'm sorry. 626 00:32:14,391 --> 00:32:17,731 Just don't make me look fat, okay? Earth's gravity adds 1 0 pounds. 627 00:32:17,811 --> 00:32:20,561 Paul, could l ask you a question? 628 00:32:20,647 --> 00:32:21,807 PAUL: Shoot! 629 00:32:22,899 --> 00:32:25,029 Have you ever done that to a person? 630 00:32:25,110 --> 00:32:27,400 Yes, l've eaten many people. 631 00:32:27,487 --> 00:32:29,277 l'm joking, big guy. Relax. 632 00:32:29,364 --> 00:32:31,324 No, l mean, fix them. 633 00:32:31,408 --> 00:32:33,488 Oh. No. Not a dead person. 634 00:32:33,577 --> 00:32:37,457 Recently dead bird? That's one thing. Dead person? Whole other ball game. 635 00:32:37,539 --> 00:32:40,619 lt's actually really dangerous for me. The damage can bounce back onto me and... 636 00:32:40,709 --> 00:32:41,919 (CLlVE YAWNlNG) 637 00:32:42,878 --> 00:32:45,418 Oh, l'm sorry. Am l boring you? Have you heard this one before? 638 00:32:45,505 --> 00:32:47,465 Are you tired, Sausage? 639 00:32:47,924 --> 00:32:50,264 Don't call me that in front of him. 640 00:32:50,343 --> 00:32:52,013 Are you tired, though? 641 00:32:52,095 --> 00:32:54,045 Eggy, l'm bushed. 642 00:32:54,139 --> 00:32:56,059 You know what? We're all tired. 643 00:32:56,141 --> 00:32:58,101 Let's just pull over and stop for the night, huh? 644 00:32:58,185 --> 00:32:59,765 We're fugitives, Paul, all right? 645 00:32:59,853 --> 00:33:03,943 l refuse to just sit around and wait to get fingered by the Men in Black. 646 00:33:04,024 --> 00:33:08,114 PAUL: We just gotta find somewhere quiet. We won't draw attention to ourselves. 647 00:33:08,195 --> 00:33:10,275 CLlVE: (SlGHS) But where are we going, Paul? 648 00:33:10,363 --> 00:33:12,743 Oh, you'll know it when you see it. 649 00:33:13,950 --> 00:33:16,040 O'RElLLY: Two white guys? CHRlS: Two strange white guys. 650 00:33:16,119 --> 00:33:19,159 O'RElLLY: Strange white guys. Got it. Order anything weird? 651 00:33:19,247 --> 00:33:20,367 TROOPER: Chocolate milk. 652 00:33:20,457 --> 00:33:23,077 -Chocolate... Chocolate? Chocolate... -(CAMERA CLlCKlNG) 653 00:33:23,168 --> 00:33:24,708 WOMAN ON RADlO: Zoil, report. 654 00:33:26,338 --> 00:33:28,298 We've tracked him to a gas station in Ely. 655 00:33:28,381 --> 00:33:31,631 We think he may be traveling in an RV with two men from England. 656 00:33:32,135 --> 00:33:33,715 WOMAN: New England? 657 00:33:33,804 --> 00:33:34,934 Old England. 658 00:33:35,013 --> 00:33:37,973 Creepy. What are they, Ml6? 659 00:33:38,850 --> 00:33:42,810 Negative. Just a couple of nerds on the lam from Comic-Con. 660 00:33:42,896 --> 00:33:44,396 WOMAN: My sister's kid went to that. 661 00:33:44,815 --> 00:33:46,645 Little manga faggot. 662 00:33:46,733 --> 00:33:51,033 Zoil, something doesn't feel right. l think he had help on the inside. 663 00:33:51,112 --> 00:33:52,402 (RADlO STATlC) 664 00:33:54,074 --> 00:33:55,454 l want those nerds iced 665 00:33:55,534 --> 00:34:00,084 and that little green prick either back in his fishbowl or dead ASAP. 666 00:34:00,163 --> 00:34:01,623 ZOIL: l'm closing in. l can feel it. 667 00:34:01,706 --> 00:34:05,376 ln 24 hours he's gonna wish he never set foot on planet Earth. 668 00:34:05,460 --> 00:34:06,670 WOMAN: Good. 669 00:34:10,340 --> 00:34:13,220 GRAEME: Okay. Here we are. This is the place. 670 00:34:13,510 --> 00:34:14,760 PAUL: Yeah, this looks good. 671 00:34:14,845 --> 00:34:17,845 lt doesn't look like anyone's been murdered here. 672 00:34:20,350 --> 00:34:21,600 (GRAEME SlGHS) 673 00:34:22,686 --> 00:34:24,226 Awfully quiet. 674 00:34:24,312 --> 00:34:28,022 Quiet's good, Graeme. Quiet's our friend. 675 00:34:29,359 --> 00:34:30,479 Hi, there. 676 00:34:30,569 --> 00:34:31,779 -(GASPS) -(PAUL GASPS) 677 00:34:32,028 --> 00:34:33,108 (WHlSPERS) There's a girl outside. 678 00:34:33,196 --> 00:34:34,356 (lNHALES) 679 00:34:36,032 --> 00:34:38,702 Okay. All right. Look. 680 00:34:39,202 --> 00:34:40,872 We're just a couple of regular guys 681 00:34:40,954 --> 00:34:44,794 on a tour of the less touristy side of the American Midwest. 682 00:34:44,875 --> 00:34:46,915 l don't think she heard you. 683 00:34:47,002 --> 00:34:48,422 l'm talking to you. 684 00:34:48,503 --> 00:34:49,673 Oh, sorry. 685 00:34:50,589 --> 00:34:53,219 Hi. l'm Ruth Buggs. 686 00:34:54,050 --> 00:34:57,510 Good evening, Ruth. l am the writer, Clive Gollings. 687 00:34:57,596 --> 00:35:00,756 This is my friend and cohort, Mr. Graeme Willy. 688 00:35:00,849 --> 00:35:01,889 Hi. 689 00:35:06,396 --> 00:35:07,726 Have you got room? 690 00:35:08,064 --> 00:35:10,194 Sure. Yeah, park in bay nine. 691 00:35:10,275 --> 00:35:12,605 lt's $25 a night, including hookups 692 00:35:12,694 --> 00:35:14,494 and l'll need an lD to hold onto. 693 00:35:14,571 --> 00:35:15,951 Okay. 694 00:35:20,243 --> 00:35:21,413 (RUTH CHUCKLES) 695 00:35:22,037 --> 00:35:24,197 We're just a couple of regular guys 696 00:35:24,289 --> 00:35:27,879 on a tour of the less touristy side of the American Midwest. 697 00:35:27,959 --> 00:35:29,499 -How exciting. -l know. 698 00:35:30,503 --> 00:35:33,093 CLlVE: There you go. lt's my passport. 699 00:35:34,799 --> 00:35:37,469 The UK. l love the UK. 700 00:35:37,552 --> 00:35:39,352 -GRAEME: Have you been? -No. 701 00:35:39,429 --> 00:35:40,429 You should go. 702 00:35:41,431 --> 00:35:43,181 Oh. Okay. 703 00:35:43,266 --> 00:35:45,846 No, no, l meant, you should go to London. 704 00:35:45,936 --> 00:35:48,516 There's a lot of places l want to go. 705 00:35:48,605 --> 00:35:51,185 MOSES: Ruth! Ruth! Get in here! 706 00:35:51,274 --> 00:35:53,284 l'll be by in the morning to get your money 707 00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:54,940 so have a pleasant evening now, won't you? 708 00:35:55,028 --> 00:35:56,148 CLlVE: Thank you. GRAEME: Thank you. 709 00:35:56,237 --> 00:35:57,777 -Bye. -GRAEME: And you. Bye. 710 00:36:02,494 --> 00:36:04,124 She was lovely. 711 00:36:05,580 --> 00:36:07,290 Why don't you just marry her, then? 712 00:36:07,666 --> 00:36:08,706 -Boo! -(EXCLAlMS) 713 00:36:08,792 --> 00:36:10,672 PAUL: Every time, it works! 714 00:36:10,752 --> 00:36:13,132 That was 30 seconds ago, l did it. 715 00:36:14,214 --> 00:36:15,674 (CHATTERlNG ON TV) 716 00:36:18,343 --> 00:36:21,303 -MOSES: What took you so long? -l was just talking, Papa. 717 00:36:21,805 --> 00:36:24,255 Well, you talk too much. 718 00:36:24,599 --> 00:36:25,599 Sorry, Papa. 719 00:36:28,895 --> 00:36:31,055 (POP MUSlC PLAYlNG ON RV STEREO) 720 00:36:33,066 --> 00:36:34,066 Huh? 721 00:36:34,150 --> 00:36:35,820 Hello. 722 00:36:37,237 --> 00:36:40,527 -You want a cigarette? -No, thanks. l don't smoke. 723 00:36:43,618 --> 00:36:45,948 -Can l ask you something? -Yeah, sure. 724 00:36:46,037 --> 00:36:48,997 -You and Graeme, are you guys... -What? 725 00:36:49,624 --> 00:36:52,084 You know... (CLlCKlNG TONGUE) 726 00:36:54,796 --> 00:36:58,466 You know! You guys, two guys... 727 00:36:59,968 --> 00:37:01,088 (GAGGlNG) 728 00:37:04,013 --> 00:37:05,263 Fucking kidding me? 729 00:37:08,184 --> 00:37:09,184 (GROANlNG) 730 00:37:12,147 --> 00:37:13,357 (MOANlNG) 731 00:37:15,150 --> 00:37:17,150 (CHUCKLlNG) What are you... 732 00:37:18,111 --> 00:37:19,991 (CONTlNUES MOANlNG) 733 00:37:20,405 --> 00:37:22,065 -l don't know what you mean. -Gay! 734 00:37:22,157 --> 00:37:25,237 No! Why do people keep saying that? 735 00:37:25,326 --> 00:37:26,616 No, l was just wondering. 736 00:37:27,078 --> 00:37:30,118 lt's totally cool if you are. Everyone's bi on my planet. 737 00:37:30,206 --> 00:37:32,366 lt's all about the pleasure thing. You know what l'm saying? 738 00:37:34,043 --> 00:37:35,923 Why are you here, Paul? 739 00:37:36,004 --> 00:37:38,264 Oh, l was here on a science mission, actually, 740 00:37:38,339 --> 00:37:42,509 and then l had some spaceship-related problems, 741 00:37:42,594 --> 00:37:45,514 and l kind of crashed. 742 00:37:45,764 --> 00:37:47,644 (CHUCKLES) Lucky for me though, this little girl, 743 00:37:47,724 --> 00:37:48,724 she pulls me out of the wreck. 744 00:37:48,808 --> 00:37:51,638 Next thing l know, guys arrive, cart me off to the base. 745 00:37:51,978 --> 00:37:53,188 (SCOFFlNG CHUCKLE) 746 00:37:53,813 --> 00:37:55,313 What have you been doing here all this time? 747 00:37:56,274 --> 00:37:59,114 l've been kicking back, man. l've been shooting the shit. 748 00:37:59,194 --> 00:38:01,114 l've been advising the government. 749 00:38:01,196 --> 00:38:02,356 Not just the government. 750 00:38:04,282 --> 00:38:06,622 SPlELBERG ON RADlO: l want him to have some kind of a special power. 751 00:38:06,701 --> 00:38:08,871 Something messianic. 752 00:38:08,953 --> 00:38:12,543 Okay, Steven, how about cellular revivification? 753 00:38:12,624 --> 00:38:14,044 Yeah, I don't know what that is. 754 00:38:14,125 --> 00:38:15,875 Oh. Restoration of damaged tissue 755 00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:18,380 through telepathic manipulation of intrinsic field memory. 756 00:38:18,463 --> 00:38:21,303 -What's that mean? -lt means healing, Mr. Spielberg. 757 00:38:21,382 --> 00:38:22,972 Yeah, right. Healing. 758 00:38:23,051 --> 00:38:25,011 By touch, or something like that. 759 00:38:25,094 --> 00:38:27,894 Maybe his finger lights up at the end when he reaches out and touches? 760 00:38:27,972 --> 00:38:30,722 Maybe. You know, sometimes l find less is more. 761 00:38:30,850 --> 00:38:32,730 Hey. Trust me. 762 00:38:33,728 --> 00:38:35,598 You'd be surprised how much he's influenced popular culture 763 00:38:35,688 --> 00:38:36,728 over the last 60 years. 764 00:38:37,565 --> 00:38:38,645 Agent Mulder was right. 765 00:38:38,733 --> 00:38:41,363 -Agent Mulder was my idea! -Really? 766 00:38:41,444 --> 00:38:42,744 -Wow! -Yeah! 767 00:38:42,821 --> 00:38:43,991 That's cool. 768 00:38:44,072 --> 00:38:47,742 Pump that shit, Earth-man. l like this song. Mmm. 769 00:38:47,909 --> 00:38:49,029 Marvin's my boy. 770 00:38:49,160 --> 00:38:50,990 (DANCE MUSlC PLAYlNG) 771 00:38:51,329 --> 00:38:54,289 Come on. Break it down a bit, boys. 772 00:38:54,374 --> 00:38:56,584 Don't be afraid. 773 00:38:57,502 --> 00:38:59,132 Yeah, look at me, l'm breaking it down. 774 00:39:02,674 --> 00:39:04,094 Use them tongs. 775 00:39:04,425 --> 00:39:06,255 Dance with those tongs. 776 00:39:06,344 --> 00:39:07,934 Stoke the fire! 777 00:39:09,347 --> 00:39:10,507 Ooh! Ooh! 778 00:39:10,849 --> 00:39:12,019 Yes. 779 00:39:13,768 --> 00:39:14,888 (PAUL HUMMlNG) 780 00:39:15,436 --> 00:39:16,516 Yee-haw! 781 00:39:20,567 --> 00:39:22,027 (PAUL LAUGHlNG) 782 00:39:28,157 --> 00:39:30,277 (PAUL SlNGlNG NONSENSlCALLY) 783 00:39:31,786 --> 00:39:33,786 MOSES: Ruth! Prayers! 784 00:39:35,039 --> 00:39:37,169 PAUL: l don't know the words to this song. 785 00:39:37,250 --> 00:39:38,880 No one does! 786 00:39:38,960 --> 00:39:40,380 (CLlVE AND GRAEME LAUGHlNG) 787 00:39:40,503 --> 00:39:42,463 PAUL: Hey! Guys, let's get fucked up. 788 00:39:45,884 --> 00:39:47,224 (SNORlNG) 789 00:39:48,011 --> 00:39:49,181 -(KNOCKlNG ON DOOR) -(GROANS) 790 00:39:49,554 --> 00:39:52,224 Oh, who's knocking? Stop it. 791 00:39:52,307 --> 00:39:55,017 -What are you doing? -Oh, shut up. 792 00:39:55,685 --> 00:39:56,935 (GRUNTlNG) 793 00:39:58,271 --> 00:39:59,691 PAUL: l'll hide in here. 794 00:39:59,772 --> 00:40:01,612 -Don't come out. -PAUL: Why would l come out? 795 00:40:01,691 --> 00:40:03,111 -Who is it? -lt's Ruth. 796 00:40:03,276 --> 00:40:05,736 Ooh... Don't you dare open that door. 797 00:40:05,820 --> 00:40:07,110 -Hi. -Hello. 798 00:40:07,196 --> 00:40:09,316 Good morning. May l come in? 799 00:40:09,407 --> 00:40:13,287 -No. l don't think you should come in. -Yeah. Make yourself at home. 800 00:40:13,369 --> 00:40:15,949 -l'm not really dressed. -Sure. ln you come. 801 00:40:16,039 --> 00:40:17,659 Oh, was everything okay? 802 00:40:17,749 --> 00:40:22,249 -Yes it was. lt was very nice. The best. Ever. -Yes, thank you. Adequate. 803 00:40:22,337 --> 00:40:23,667 So, where's the other one? 804 00:40:24,380 --> 00:40:26,630 The other one? lt's just... 805 00:40:26,716 --> 00:40:29,216 Oh, oh. lt's okay, we don't charge by the person. 806 00:40:29,302 --> 00:40:32,972 There were three shadows l saw dancing around the RV last night, right? 807 00:40:33,056 --> 00:40:35,556 -The other one. The other one. -Oh... He... 808 00:40:35,642 --> 00:40:38,732 PAUL: l'm in the can. l ate a closed pistachio. 809 00:40:38,811 --> 00:40:39,811 (FARTlNG) 810 00:40:39,896 --> 00:40:41,356 l'm paying for it. 811 00:40:41,481 --> 00:40:42,771 (CHUCKLES) 812 00:40:43,316 --> 00:40:46,896 -That's a nice T-shirt. -Oh, thanks. l got it at my church. 813 00:40:47,320 --> 00:40:49,780 lt's Jesus shooting Charles Darwin. 814 00:40:49,864 --> 00:40:52,204 Why would Jesus want to shoot Charles Darwin? 815 00:40:52,283 --> 00:40:55,493 Because of his blasphemous theories. 816 00:40:55,578 --> 00:40:56,698 Are you men of God? 817 00:41:01,626 --> 00:41:03,706 We're men of science, you know. 818 00:41:03,795 --> 00:41:06,875 We believe in the establishment of a biological order 819 00:41:06,965 --> 00:41:09,545 through the maelstrom of physical and chemical chaos. 820 00:41:10,426 --> 00:41:13,676 God created the Earth in six days, and on the seventh day he rested. 821 00:41:13,763 --> 00:41:14,973 PAUL: Really? 822 00:41:15,056 --> 00:41:16,426 (FARTlNG) 823 00:41:16,891 --> 00:41:19,891 Or it could be God. You don't know, do you? lt's up in the air. 824 00:41:19,978 --> 00:41:24,148 The world is 4,000 years old and can only be the product of intelligent design. 825 00:41:24,232 --> 00:41:25,942 -PAUL: Oh, that's horseshit. -Oh! 826 00:41:26,526 --> 00:41:27,526 (SCOFFS) 827 00:41:27,610 --> 00:41:29,780 All right, well, then, 828 00:41:29,862 --> 00:41:33,572 please explain how something as complex as the human eye 829 00:41:33,658 --> 00:41:35,408 simply just comes into being. (LAUGHS) 830 00:41:35,493 --> 00:41:38,663 PAUL: Oh, don't give me that old irreducible complexity crap. 831 00:41:38,746 --> 00:41:41,706 Something as intricate as that does not just occur 832 00:41:41,791 --> 00:41:44,001 without the intervention of a guiding hand. 833 00:41:44,085 --> 00:41:45,705 lt didn't just occur! 834 00:41:45,795 --> 00:41:48,255 lt is the culmination of billions of years of development 835 00:41:48,339 --> 00:41:50,839 -across countless fucking species. -(GASPS) 836 00:41:50,925 --> 00:41:52,465 What are you talking about? 837 00:41:52,552 --> 00:41:54,722 -Evolution, baby. -Oh! 838 00:41:55,179 --> 00:41:57,219 -Blasphemy! -Oh, yeah. 839 00:41:57,306 --> 00:42:01,306 Nothing that you can say or do can shake my belief or faith 840 00:42:01,394 --> 00:42:04,024 in the sure and certain knowledge that God made heaven and earth 841 00:42:04,105 --> 00:42:05,935 and created us all in His own image. 842 00:42:06,024 --> 00:42:07,364 -Oh, his own image? -Yeah. 843 00:42:07,442 --> 00:42:09,442 Well, l got a question. 844 00:42:10,653 --> 00:42:11,993 How do you explain me? 845 00:42:12,488 --> 00:42:13,528 (GASPS) 846 00:42:13,614 --> 00:42:15,784 She's going, she's falling. Catch... 847 00:42:17,201 --> 00:42:18,831 And that's Jenga. 848 00:42:20,371 --> 00:42:22,581 -Why did you do that? -(STAMMERlNG) She fainted! 849 00:42:22,665 --> 00:42:23,825 We've gone through this! They faint! 850 00:42:23,916 --> 00:42:25,326 But we're going to have to take her with us now! 851 00:42:25,418 --> 00:42:27,128 No! No! 852 00:42:27,211 --> 00:42:30,671 This is America. Kidnapping a Christian? That's worse than harboring a fugitive. 853 00:42:30,757 --> 00:42:33,877 But she's seen you. lf we leave her, she's going to call the police! 854 00:42:34,010 --> 00:42:36,930 Who gives a shit? No one's going to believe this God-bothering Cyclops. 855 00:42:37,013 --> 00:42:39,773 Let's just dump her on the road! Just roll her up in the rug. 856 00:42:39,849 --> 00:42:43,229 We can't risk that! lf we take her with us, then we can get her on our side! 857 00:42:43,352 --> 00:42:45,232 You'd love to get her on her side, wouldn't you? 858 00:42:45,313 --> 00:42:46,773 That doesn't make sense. 859 00:42:46,856 --> 00:42:49,396 Look. She'll be fine. We're quite nice. 860 00:42:49,484 --> 00:42:51,534 All right. What about my passport? 861 00:42:52,695 --> 00:42:55,065 Oh, God! You guys. 862 00:43:00,495 --> 00:43:02,075 PAUL: Mmm-hmm. 863 00:43:05,208 --> 00:43:06,538 (GASPS) No! 864 00:43:06,793 --> 00:43:07,923 (GRUNTS) 865 00:43:13,633 --> 00:43:15,053 (EXCLAlMS) 866 00:43:19,055 --> 00:43:21,675 (LAUGHS) Oh, shit. 867 00:43:21,766 --> 00:43:24,636 Ruth, what in the Lord's name... 868 00:43:24,727 --> 00:43:26,937 -Morning. -Morning. 869 00:43:27,063 --> 00:43:28,063 (lNHALES) 870 00:43:28,272 --> 00:43:29,772 (GASPS) 871 00:43:32,109 --> 00:43:33,399 Go, go, go! 872 00:43:37,406 --> 00:43:38,566 Oh, fuck. (lNHALES) 873 00:43:39,408 --> 00:43:41,278 MOSES: Show yourself, demon! 874 00:43:42,161 --> 00:43:43,621 GRAEME: Where are you? Where are you? 875 00:43:43,704 --> 00:43:44,964 PAUL: Passport! Passport! 876 00:43:45,289 --> 00:43:46,369 Jump! Jump! 877 00:43:47,291 --> 00:43:48,331 (PAUL GRUNTlNG) 878 00:43:50,127 --> 00:43:51,457 -(BOTH SCREAMlNG) -(GASPS) 879 00:43:51,546 --> 00:43:53,506 What? That's actually small on my planet. 880 00:43:53,589 --> 00:43:54,589 (GROANS) 881 00:43:59,262 --> 00:44:00,802 (PANTlNG) 882 00:44:15,027 --> 00:44:16,147 GRAEME: (ECHOlNG) Ruth? 883 00:44:17,655 --> 00:44:20,025 Hello, Ruth, would you like a cup of tea? 884 00:44:22,118 --> 00:44:23,988 Where am l? 885 00:44:25,413 --> 00:44:26,543 Hey, look who's awake. 886 00:44:26,622 --> 00:44:28,712 Demon! Demon! 887 00:44:28,791 --> 00:44:31,541 GRAEME: (STAMMERlNG) We're sorry. We're not going to hurt you, l promise. 888 00:44:31,627 --> 00:44:33,547 And we'll let you go just as soon as we can. 889 00:44:33,629 --> 00:44:36,009 You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. 890 00:44:36,090 --> 00:44:38,130 -He's evil! -l'm sitting right here, come on! 891 00:44:38,217 --> 00:44:42,257 No, he's not evil, he's just a bit rude. We're trying to help him get home. 892 00:44:42,346 --> 00:44:43,846 He's from another world. 893 00:44:43,931 --> 00:44:47,891 There's only one world, our world! The world that our God, the Father, created! 894 00:44:47,977 --> 00:44:49,477 lf it makes you feel any better 895 00:44:49,562 --> 00:44:51,522 my existence only disproves traditional notions 896 00:44:51,606 --> 00:44:53,226 of the Abrahamic, Judeo-Christian God, 897 00:44:53,316 --> 00:44:55,816 as well as all one-world theologies. That's all l meant. 898 00:44:55,902 --> 00:45:00,072 (SlNGlNG) Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound 899 00:45:00,156 --> 00:45:01,906 -You can't win with these people! -(RUTH CONTlNUES SlNGlNG) 900 00:45:01,991 --> 00:45:05,581 Ruth, just listen to me, for one second. Please, if you could just calm down. 901 00:45:05,661 --> 00:45:09,001 -(ALL CHATTERlNG) -l can't drive like this. 902 00:45:09,081 --> 00:45:10,331 (BABBLlNG) 903 00:45:10,875 --> 00:45:13,035 She's talking in tongues now? Fuck this. 904 00:45:17,131 --> 00:45:18,131 (SCREECHlNG) 905 00:45:24,513 --> 00:45:25,683 -Oh. -(PAUL GRUNTS) 906 00:45:26,349 --> 00:45:27,349 (GROANlNG) 907 00:45:28,225 --> 00:45:29,555 What did you do to her? 908 00:45:29,644 --> 00:45:31,654 l just transferred my collective knowledge and experience 909 00:45:31,729 --> 00:45:33,519 via a tactile psychokinetic bridge. 910 00:45:33,606 --> 00:45:34,896 Ooh, wow, could you do me? 911 00:45:34,982 --> 00:45:36,612 lt really takes it out of me. 912 00:45:36,692 --> 00:45:38,112 -Oh, go on, please. -(GRUNTS) 913 00:45:41,364 --> 00:45:42,364 (PAUL GRUNTS) 914 00:45:42,448 --> 00:45:43,528 Oh, wow! 915 00:45:44,033 --> 00:45:46,033 Oh, yeah. 916 00:45:46,118 --> 00:45:48,038 He always knew what was going on in Battlestar before me 917 00:45:48,120 --> 00:45:49,120 'cause his mum had cable. 918 00:45:49,205 --> 00:45:50,955 Fine, pull over. l'll do you. 919 00:45:51,040 --> 00:45:53,120 Absolutely not. No spoilers. 920 00:45:55,586 --> 00:45:58,376 MOSES: l didn't call the government. l called the police! 921 00:45:58,464 --> 00:46:01,424 This is not the police's area of expertise, Mr. Buggs. 922 00:46:02,385 --> 00:46:05,425 -That devil took my daughter. -What do you mean, devil? 923 00:46:05,513 --> 00:46:07,813 And your daughter's name is Ruth, is it? 924 00:46:07,890 --> 00:46:11,520 That's right. l brought her up by myself after her mama died. 925 00:46:11,602 --> 00:46:13,272 ZOlL: Do you have a photograph of Ruth, sir? 926 00:46:13,354 --> 00:46:15,064 Yeah. She's pretty easy to spot. 927 00:46:15,147 --> 00:46:18,567 She's had this eye thing since she was four years old. 928 00:46:19,610 --> 00:46:21,110 ZOlL: Didn't want to take her to a doctor for that? 929 00:46:21,570 --> 00:46:23,610 The good Lord is the only doctor she'll ever need. 930 00:46:23,698 --> 00:46:25,988 Copy that. Do you have a phone here 931 00:46:26,075 --> 00:46:28,735 that your daughter might try to reach you at if she decides to call? 932 00:46:28,828 --> 00:46:30,118 Yeah, in the back. 933 00:46:30,496 --> 00:46:34,206 Hey, Peter Parker. Want to put the snappy down and get to the phone? 934 00:46:34,291 --> 00:46:35,711 (EXHALES) Right. 935 00:46:36,168 --> 00:46:37,458 MOSES: She'll call me if she can. 936 00:46:38,754 --> 00:46:40,804 ZOlL: You mentioned they went east? MOSES: That's right. 937 00:46:40,881 --> 00:46:42,921 -(CELL PHONE RlNGlNG) -They'll get off the 1 91 after Flaming Gorge 938 00:46:43,009 --> 00:46:44,179 if they ain't on the interstate. 939 00:46:44,260 --> 00:46:45,970 There's been a big-rig spill... 940 00:46:46,053 --> 00:46:48,013 (HAGGARD READlNG) 941 00:46:48,264 --> 00:46:51,274 ZOlL: Here we go. Boys, to the car. 942 00:46:52,685 --> 00:46:54,725 Thank you very, very much for your time, sir. 943 00:46:56,063 --> 00:46:59,403 Promise me you'll kill that thing, Mr. Zoil. Kill it for what it is. 944 00:46:59,483 --> 00:47:01,403 We're gonna do our best. 945 00:47:01,485 --> 00:47:03,525 -l've seen its eyes. -Mmm-hmm. 946 00:47:03,612 --> 00:47:04,952 lt's evil. 947 00:47:06,782 --> 00:47:09,162 Godspeed, Mr. Zoil. 948 00:47:10,619 --> 00:47:12,699 First 48 are crucial. 949 00:47:14,832 --> 00:47:17,542 Sir, you mind telling us what we're looking for? 950 00:47:17,626 --> 00:47:18,786 Yeah, what are we looking for? 951 00:47:18,878 --> 00:47:21,168 l told you this is a need-to-know operation. 952 00:47:21,797 --> 00:47:23,837 Yes, sir, but... 953 00:47:25,301 --> 00:47:26,721 Damn it. 954 00:47:27,219 --> 00:47:28,509 (STATlC) 955 00:47:28,929 --> 00:47:30,469 HAGGARD ON SCANNER: Sir, l think it's time you tell us. 956 00:47:31,390 --> 00:47:33,520 ZOlL: Hey, just do what the fuck l tell you, Haggard. 957 00:47:33,601 --> 00:47:38,311 Now let's go find that crazy old bastard's little girl before it's too late. 958 00:47:44,320 --> 00:47:45,320 Ruth! 959 00:47:46,155 --> 00:47:47,235 Ruth, wait! 960 00:47:47,323 --> 00:47:48,573 Leave me alone! 961 00:47:48,657 --> 00:47:50,487 Please, please, stop. l've got shin splints. 962 00:47:50,576 --> 00:47:51,786 (GROANlNG) 963 00:47:53,704 --> 00:47:57,004 He cannot be from space! lt's not possible. 964 00:47:57,083 --> 00:47:58,423 He's from somewhere else. 965 00:47:58,501 --> 00:48:01,591 Ruth, you saw it for yourself, okay? He showed you. 966 00:48:01,670 --> 00:48:03,960 There's probably billions of intelligent civilizations out there. 967 00:48:04,048 --> 00:48:06,588 (SCOFFS) So where is everybody? Hmm? 968 00:48:07,468 --> 00:48:08,968 But one of them's there! 969 00:48:09,053 --> 00:48:10,853 PAUL: Are they looking? Are they looking? 970 00:48:10,930 --> 00:48:12,810 Are they looking right now? (LAUGHlNG) 971 00:48:12,890 --> 00:48:14,180 Sorry. 972 00:48:16,435 --> 00:48:18,345 That's pathetic. 973 00:48:20,314 --> 00:48:21,984 What's your beef, Clive? 974 00:48:22,066 --> 00:48:23,776 l don't have a beef. 975 00:48:24,401 --> 00:48:25,651 (CHUCKLES) 976 00:48:26,237 --> 00:48:29,447 l'm from outer space. You're a science-fiction writer. 977 00:48:29,532 --> 00:48:31,202 We should be best buds. 978 00:48:31,867 --> 00:48:33,327 lt's not you. 979 00:48:34,662 --> 00:48:36,042 lt's me. 980 00:48:37,581 --> 00:48:39,001 (lNAUDlBLE) 981 00:48:40,543 --> 00:48:43,293 ls that what this is? You're jealous? Of her? 982 00:48:45,256 --> 00:48:46,296 CLlVE: lt's not just that. 983 00:48:47,883 --> 00:48:48,973 PAUL: Whoa. 984 00:48:49,385 --> 00:48:50,885 Of me? 985 00:48:51,679 --> 00:48:53,719 This is because me and Graeme 986 00:48:53,806 --> 00:48:55,806 got two minutes of face-time while you were sleeping? 987 00:48:55,891 --> 00:48:58,981 -ls that what this is? -l wanted this to be special, you know? 988 00:48:59,061 --> 00:49:01,941 l have dreamt about meeting you 989 00:49:02,022 --> 00:49:04,612 (CHUCKLES) ever since l saw Mac and Me. 990 00:49:04,692 --> 00:49:06,322 And l blew it. 991 00:49:06,402 --> 00:49:09,362 Now you two are friendly, and he's off talking to girls 992 00:49:09,446 --> 00:49:11,866 and it's like, where am l? 993 00:49:11,949 --> 00:49:13,489 Come on, man. 994 00:49:13,576 --> 00:49:15,986 This is special. 995 00:49:16,078 --> 00:49:20,248 You guys being all nerdy and shit and meeting me. That is fate. 996 00:49:20,332 --> 00:49:23,212 Who cares if you pissed your pants, man? 997 00:49:23,794 --> 00:49:26,754 When l first got here, first time l saw a human, l puked. 998 00:49:27,923 --> 00:49:29,723 You guys are weird looking. 999 00:49:29,800 --> 00:49:33,090 You have giant bodies. You have tiny, little, tiny heads. 1000 00:49:33,179 --> 00:49:36,509 -You're just being nice now. -(LAUGHS) No. 1001 00:49:36,599 --> 00:49:38,349 Look, you want a little sugar? 1002 00:49:39,602 --> 00:49:40,732 (NERVOUS GROAN) 1003 00:49:40,811 --> 00:49:42,691 lt's just knowledge and experience, man. 1004 00:49:42,771 --> 00:49:45,401 You're a writer. Might give you some inspiration. 1005 00:49:45,482 --> 00:49:46,732 Will it hurt? 1006 00:49:47,318 --> 00:49:49,108 Only if you struggle. 1007 00:49:49,778 --> 00:49:50,948 All right. 1008 00:49:51,447 --> 00:49:52,447 (GRUNTS) 1009 00:49:55,826 --> 00:49:56,866 (HORN HONKlNG) 1010 00:49:56,952 --> 00:49:59,872 So, everything that l have been told my whole life 1011 00:49:59,955 --> 00:50:01,615 is just a big fat lie. 1012 00:50:02,958 --> 00:50:04,328 Do you know how that feels? 1013 00:50:05,586 --> 00:50:09,046 Just because your truth isn't a true truth doesn't mean that there is no truth, Ruth. 1014 00:50:09,131 --> 00:50:11,631 -That's easy for you to say. -lt's really not. 1015 00:50:11,717 --> 00:50:17,217 So there's no heaven. No hell, no right, no wrong, no sin? 1016 00:50:17,306 --> 00:50:18,556 Well... 1017 00:50:19,266 --> 00:50:21,426 -l can drink? -lf you like. 1018 00:50:21,518 --> 00:50:24,018 -l can fornicate? -Maybe. 1019 00:50:24,104 --> 00:50:26,194 -l can curse? -Well, yeah. 1020 00:50:26,273 --> 00:50:27,733 -Penises! -Ruth. 1021 00:50:27,816 --> 00:50:31,396 Assing, hairy boobs, poop-farting buttholes! 1022 00:50:31,487 --> 00:50:33,067 Ruth, l'm not sure this is helping. 1023 00:50:34,406 --> 00:50:35,946 What are you doing? 1024 00:50:36,033 --> 00:50:38,743 -(EXCLAlMS) Stop it! -Why? Why should l stop? 1025 00:50:39,495 --> 00:50:40,825 (EXCLAlMS) 1026 00:50:41,997 --> 00:50:43,207 This is not... 1027 00:50:45,125 --> 00:50:49,745 Because you have your whole life to explore new things. 1028 00:50:49,838 --> 00:50:51,088 Okay? 1029 00:50:51,173 --> 00:50:55,013 lt doesn't necessarily mean you should be exploring mine right now. 1030 00:50:58,847 --> 00:51:03,097 You said you wanted to travel, to see new stuff? This is your chance. 1031 00:51:03,185 --> 00:51:06,435 l really think you should come with us. 1032 00:51:06,522 --> 00:51:07,612 Where would l sleep? 1033 00:51:07,690 --> 00:51:10,610 l'll sleep on the sofa. And then you can have my bed. 1034 00:51:10,693 --> 00:51:14,573 But l'd push the tissues off with a pen, if l were you, because l've had a cold. 1035 00:51:15,281 --> 00:51:16,281 Oh. 1036 00:51:18,200 --> 00:51:19,660 (REGGAE MUSlC PLAYlNG ON STEREO) 1037 00:51:22,830 --> 00:51:25,420 Ruth has decided that she would like to come with us. 1038 00:51:26,292 --> 00:51:27,382 (EXHALES) 1039 00:51:27,459 --> 00:51:28,499 Wicked. 1040 00:51:29,837 --> 00:51:31,837 l'm gonna go freshen up. 1041 00:51:31,922 --> 00:51:35,302 Hey, Ruth. Wait up. 1042 00:51:35,384 --> 00:51:37,054 You don't smoke. 1043 00:51:37,136 --> 00:51:38,586 l just wanted to say thanks. 1044 00:51:38,679 --> 00:51:41,139 l know this has been weird for you, 1045 00:51:41,223 --> 00:51:44,813 but you saved my life and l owe you one, okay? 1046 00:51:44,893 --> 00:51:46,193 Okay. 1047 00:51:46,895 --> 00:51:49,185 What have you got there, by the way? 1048 00:51:49,273 --> 00:51:53,483 Severe epiretinal membrane complicated by macular edema in your left vitreous cavity? 1049 00:51:53,569 --> 00:51:54,939 How did you know that? 1050 00:51:55,404 --> 00:51:56,784 Lucky guess. 1051 00:51:56,864 --> 00:51:59,034 Do you mind if l take a look at it for one second? 1052 00:52:04,747 --> 00:52:08,417 What does it say in the Old Testament? "An eye for an eye"? 1053 00:52:09,043 --> 00:52:11,673 -Wait, l don't... -lt's okay. You can trust me. 1054 00:52:11,754 --> 00:52:14,924 -l don't know... -Just have a little faith, okay? 1055 00:52:20,179 --> 00:52:21,429 (GRUNTlNG) 1056 00:52:28,520 --> 00:52:29,940 (CONTlNUES GRUNTlNG) 1057 00:52:39,990 --> 00:52:41,620 (GASPS) Oh! 1058 00:52:44,078 --> 00:52:45,498 How did you do that? 1059 00:52:46,455 --> 00:52:48,995 Evolution, baby. 1060 00:52:52,795 --> 00:52:53,955 (PAUL CHUCKLES) 1061 00:52:56,215 --> 00:52:58,045 -Graeme? -Yeah? 1062 00:53:00,177 --> 00:53:02,297 GRAEME: Oh, my God. Clive. 1063 00:53:02,388 --> 00:53:04,388 -CLlVE: Oh, my God. -(GRAEME LAUGHlNG) 1064 00:53:08,685 --> 00:53:09,935 (SNORlNG) 1065 00:53:21,949 --> 00:53:24,449 PAUL: What are you going to do? Come on. Make your move. 1066 00:53:24,535 --> 00:53:25,785 Oh, shit. Damn it. 1067 00:53:47,015 --> 00:53:48,425 (SNORlNG) 1068 00:53:52,521 --> 00:53:53,731 -(HORN BLARlNG) -(GASPS) 1069 00:53:55,899 --> 00:53:57,439 (SHUSHlNG) 1070 00:54:00,696 --> 00:54:02,946 PAUL: Hey, check it out! Check it out! 1071 00:54:03,365 --> 00:54:04,405 -Huh? -(TlRES SCREECHlNG) 1072 00:54:04,491 --> 00:54:06,121 This is easy. 1073 00:54:06,618 --> 00:54:07,618 (NERVOUS MOAN) 1074 00:54:07,703 --> 00:54:10,413 Small corrections, Paul. Just make small corrections. 1075 00:54:10,497 --> 00:54:12,167 PAUL: Graeme, hit the brakes! 1076 00:54:24,470 --> 00:54:26,470 Hey, there, sleepy face! 1077 00:54:26,555 --> 00:54:30,765 Fuckeroo. That was the best titty-farting sleep l have ever had. 1078 00:54:31,560 --> 00:54:34,650 l got a feeling that you're new to cursing, Ruth. 1079 00:54:34,730 --> 00:54:38,570 Look, cursing's fun. You just gotta pick your moments, okay? 1080 00:54:38,650 --> 00:54:41,400 Maybe we should stop for some food. ls anybody hungry? 1081 00:54:41,487 --> 00:54:42,777 -Fuck, yeah! -GRAEME: Ruth? 1082 00:54:42,863 --> 00:54:45,363 You bet your big, fat cock l am! 1083 00:54:45,449 --> 00:54:46,779 Nice! 1084 00:54:46,867 --> 00:54:48,487 CLlVE: l'm starving. 1085 00:54:48,577 --> 00:54:50,197 What's new, fatty? 1086 00:54:51,580 --> 00:54:53,660 -lt's not fat, Paul, it's power. -PAUL: Fat power. 1087 00:54:53,749 --> 00:54:55,039 -So rude. -PAUL: You're rude. 1088 00:54:55,125 --> 00:54:56,165 RUTH: Maybe l should call my dad. 1089 00:54:56,251 --> 00:54:58,541 -What? -What? Why? 1090 00:54:58,629 --> 00:54:59,749 l've been gone for a whole day 1091 00:54:59,838 --> 00:55:03,008 and if he calls the police, they're gonna be looking for us. 1092 00:55:03,091 --> 00:55:05,681 lf l don't, there's a good chance we could all end up in Shit-Butt City. 1093 00:55:06,261 --> 00:55:07,721 You're really getting the hang of this. 1094 00:55:07,804 --> 00:55:09,064 Thanks, dick milk. 1095 00:55:09,139 --> 00:55:10,179 (PAUL GROANS) 1096 00:55:17,397 --> 00:55:18,357 (MOTORCYCLE REVVlNG) 1097 00:55:18,440 --> 00:55:19,860 (WOMAN WHOOPlNG) 1098 00:55:28,116 --> 00:55:29,736 (BAND PLAYlNG COUNTRY MUSlC) 1099 00:55:40,921 --> 00:55:44,091 -l won't be long. -Okay. Be careful. 1100 00:55:58,480 --> 00:55:59,860 (RlNGlNG) 1101 00:56:00,482 --> 00:56:02,282 -ZOlL: Ruth Buggs? -Yes? 1102 00:56:02,359 --> 00:56:05,739 Listen to me carefully. l want you to tell me where you are. 1103 00:56:05,821 --> 00:56:06,901 Who is this? 1104 00:56:07,489 --> 00:56:09,119 My name is Agent Zoil, 1105 00:56:09,199 --> 00:56:11,079 and it's very important that you tell me where you are 1106 00:56:11,159 --> 00:56:12,989 and where you are headed, Ms. Buggs. 1107 00:56:13,245 --> 00:56:14,995 l can't tell you. 1108 00:56:15,080 --> 00:56:17,500 l mean, l don't know. 1109 00:56:17,582 --> 00:56:19,252 You've been abducted. 1110 00:56:19,334 --> 00:56:22,384 And the individual that you're traveling with is highly dangerous. 1111 00:56:22,462 --> 00:56:24,262 Oh, no, he's not dangerous. 1112 00:56:24,339 --> 00:56:27,009 I mean, he's kind of rude, he curses a Iot, 1113 00:56:27,092 --> 00:56:30,762 and a couple times l've seen him scratch his spaceman balls. 1114 00:56:30,846 --> 00:56:32,176 (LAUGHlNG) 1115 00:56:33,348 --> 00:56:36,268 Please listen to me. Your father is extremely worried about you 1116 00:56:36,351 --> 00:56:38,391 and we'd like to get you home, Ms. Buggs. 1117 00:56:39,438 --> 00:56:40,808 He showed me things. 1118 00:56:40,897 --> 00:56:42,897 She's talking about his spaceman balls. 1119 00:56:42,983 --> 00:56:44,863 You know l'm just trying to help you, right, Ruth? 1120 00:56:45,277 --> 00:56:48,317 l don't know what's real anymore. l'm confused. 1121 00:56:48,405 --> 00:56:50,445 -We got the bitch! -O'RElLLY: Yeah, dog! Up high! 1122 00:56:50,532 --> 00:56:52,412 ZOIL: Damn it, Haggard! Miss... 1123 00:56:56,038 --> 00:56:57,158 BOTH: Hey. 1124 00:56:57,247 --> 00:56:59,327 Whoa, slow down there, baby. 1125 00:56:59,416 --> 00:57:01,286 -Excuse me, l have to get to my friends. -Oh. 1126 00:57:01,376 --> 00:57:04,416 l got a friend down here that would love to meet you. 1127 00:57:04,504 --> 00:57:05,554 (LAUGHlNG) 1128 00:57:05,630 --> 00:57:06,880 Me, too. 1129 00:57:06,965 --> 00:57:08,375 (BOTH LAUGHlNG) 1130 00:57:08,884 --> 00:57:10,844 Well, as much as l would like to meet your penises, 1131 00:57:10,927 --> 00:57:12,257 l'm in a hurry, so excuse me. 1132 00:57:12,346 --> 00:57:14,386 Now, this won't take long, sugar. 1133 00:57:14,473 --> 00:57:16,933 Nope. Won't take long at all. 1134 00:57:17,017 --> 00:57:20,477 Well, since you're both being so romantic, maybe l could 1135 00:57:20,562 --> 00:57:22,362 give it just a quick hello. 1136 00:57:22,439 --> 00:57:24,229 -(PUNCHES) -(GROANS) What the fuck? Shit! 1137 00:57:24,316 --> 00:57:25,816 Now, why would you even... 1138 00:57:25,901 --> 00:57:26,981 Ow! My balls! 1139 00:57:27,069 --> 00:57:28,399 (GUS AND JAKE YELLlNG) 1140 00:57:28,487 --> 00:57:30,067 -Hey. -GRAEME: Hey, how's your dad? 1141 00:57:30,155 --> 00:57:31,945 -We gotta go. -What about the mini pizzas? 1142 00:57:32,032 --> 00:57:33,452 -We gotta go now! -GUS: No, you don't! 1143 00:57:33,533 --> 00:57:35,413 Holy shit! 1144 00:57:36,453 --> 00:57:39,373 lt's the space faggots that dinged the fuck-mobile! 1145 00:57:39,456 --> 00:57:41,496 -Yeah. We were just leaving. -l don't feel well. 1146 00:57:41,583 --> 00:57:43,753 -JAKE: l don't think so. -Leave her alone! 1147 00:57:44,336 --> 00:57:45,996 GUS: Oh, shit! Sailors! 1148 00:57:46,088 --> 00:57:47,958 -Let's go. -Sorry! 1149 00:57:49,424 --> 00:57:50,424 Excuse me, miss. 1150 00:57:52,052 --> 00:57:53,092 Papa? 1151 00:57:55,555 --> 00:57:58,265 Ruth? My Lord! Your eye! 1152 00:57:59,476 --> 00:58:01,686 -Let's go! -What about my dad? 1153 00:58:01,770 --> 00:58:02,980 Let's go, boy! 1154 00:58:07,776 --> 00:58:09,356 JAKE: Where you going, girls? 1155 00:58:09,444 --> 00:58:11,904 Leave us alone, you stupid vaginas! 1156 00:58:11,988 --> 00:58:14,778 That's no way for a pretty little thing like you to talk! 1157 00:58:14,866 --> 00:58:15,946 She's fairly new to it, to be honest. 1158 00:58:16,034 --> 00:58:18,704 Leave this to me. l'll talk to them. 1159 00:58:19,496 --> 00:58:20,616 (BOTH GASP) 1160 00:58:24,459 --> 00:58:26,169 Yo, fucknuts! 1161 00:58:26,253 --> 00:58:27,963 lt's probing time. 1162 00:58:28,755 --> 00:58:29,705 Oh. 1163 00:58:29,798 --> 00:58:31,468 (SlREN WAlLlNG lN DlSTANCE) 1164 00:58:32,300 --> 00:58:34,800 Ha! Only one of us fainted. 1165 00:58:35,137 --> 00:58:36,967 Oh, shit! The five-O! Let's bounce. 1166 00:58:37,055 --> 00:58:39,305 l'm sorry. They answered the phone. 1167 00:58:39,850 --> 00:58:41,060 They knew about us. 1168 00:58:42,477 --> 00:58:44,227 Get in the RV. 1169 00:58:44,312 --> 00:58:47,112 -Come on, they're going to wake up! -Hurry! 1170 00:58:51,403 --> 00:58:52,573 CLlVE: Sorry! 1171 00:58:53,780 --> 00:58:55,610 PAUL: Okay. We need to get off the road. 1172 00:58:55,699 --> 00:58:57,579 -Shouldn't we keep moving? -No. 1173 00:58:57,659 --> 00:58:59,739 That is exactly what they'll expect us to do. 1174 00:58:59,828 --> 00:59:03,208 Trust me. Only an idiot would stop right now. 1175 00:59:03,665 --> 00:59:06,165 -Yeah, pull in here. Perfect. -CLlVE: What? Paul. 1176 00:59:06,251 --> 00:59:08,131 PAUL: We're idiots, remember? 1177 00:59:21,683 --> 00:59:23,273 What should we do now? 1178 00:59:24,144 --> 00:59:25,814 How about a hot chocolate and bed? 1179 00:59:25,896 --> 00:59:27,266 What are you, my grandma? 1180 00:59:27,355 --> 00:59:30,315 Oh, l couldn't sleep. l'm too pumped. 1181 00:59:30,400 --> 00:59:33,320 Yeah, me, too. Let's get some beers. Find somewhere to chill. 1182 00:59:33,403 --> 00:59:34,613 What do you say? 1183 00:59:34,696 --> 00:59:36,106 What if someone sees you? 1184 00:59:36,198 --> 00:59:37,818 lt's dead out there. And l can do this. 1185 00:59:37,908 --> 00:59:38,908 (lNHALES) 1186 00:59:40,494 --> 00:59:41,914 Okay. l'm in. 1187 00:59:41,995 --> 00:59:43,575 -PAUL: Rocky? -Sure. 1188 00:59:43,663 --> 00:59:45,083 PAUL: Bullwinkle? 1189 00:59:45,165 --> 00:59:46,785 l'm a little bit tired. 1190 00:59:46,875 --> 00:59:48,075 PAUL: Don't be a pussy. 1191 00:59:48,168 --> 00:59:49,878 (WHlSPERlNG) Don't call me a... 1192 00:59:50,629 --> 00:59:51,669 All right. 1193 00:59:51,922 --> 00:59:53,302 (SlRENS WAlLlNG) 1194 00:59:54,674 --> 00:59:56,514 Just get your hands off me! 1195 01:00:05,810 --> 01:00:07,020 ZOlL: Hoss? 1196 01:00:08,730 --> 01:00:10,060 Something l can help you with? 1197 01:00:10,148 --> 01:00:13,188 Yeah. You mind telling me what happened here? 1198 01:00:13,276 --> 01:00:15,816 Just a good old-fashioned beer-soaked slobberknocker. 1199 01:00:16,154 --> 01:00:17,404 See anything unusual? 1200 01:00:18,532 --> 01:00:22,622 A couple hillbilly types in the back of that meat wagon won't stop crying. 1201 01:00:28,208 --> 01:00:31,668 Have you gentlemen seen anything unusual this evening? 1202 01:00:31,795 --> 01:00:33,165 -Uh-uh. -Uh-uh. 1203 01:00:34,172 --> 01:00:35,512 Are we sure? 1204 01:00:36,007 --> 01:00:37,167 Mmm-hmm. 1205 01:00:38,718 --> 01:00:41,218 -Thank you. -No sweat. 1206 01:00:47,102 --> 01:00:48,192 (BOTH SCREAMlNG) 1207 01:00:53,024 --> 01:00:55,614 RUTH: lt's a nice window. GRAEME: lt's a little cowboy, isn't it? 1208 01:00:55,694 --> 01:00:56,864 (BOTH LAUGHlNG) 1209 01:00:57,487 --> 01:00:58,857 GRAEME: That's funny. 1210 01:01:00,365 --> 01:01:04,115 l'll tell you what else is funny, was when you kissed me yesterday. 1211 01:01:04,202 --> 01:01:05,242 (BOTH CHUCKLlNG) 1212 01:01:05,328 --> 01:01:06,908 -Sorry. -No. lt's not... 1213 01:01:08,456 --> 01:01:11,286 l was like, "Get off me, you rapist." 1214 01:01:15,046 --> 01:01:17,586 -Do it again, if you like. -What? 1215 01:01:18,216 --> 01:01:19,836 l said you can do it again, if you like. 1216 01:01:21,761 --> 01:01:23,261 Really? 1217 01:01:23,346 --> 01:01:26,136 lf you're gonna try it, then maybe you should do it with a friend, 1218 01:01:26,224 --> 01:01:28,024 rather than someone like a stranger 1219 01:01:28,101 --> 01:01:30,101 because there's a lot of weirdos out there. 1220 01:01:30,186 --> 01:01:33,266 l am planning on doing a lot of kissing and fornicating 1221 01:01:33,356 --> 01:01:35,936 so you'd really be helping me out. 1222 01:01:36,026 --> 01:01:37,646 -Great. -Okay. 1223 01:01:37,736 --> 01:01:40,236 -(GASPS) What, now? -No, l thought you meant... 1224 01:01:40,322 --> 01:01:41,992 No, l did. Let's do it now. 1225 01:01:42,073 --> 01:01:44,373 -l mean... -Yeah, all right. 1226 01:01:44,451 --> 01:01:45,991 Put my hands on you. 1227 01:01:46,077 --> 01:01:47,947 Just stand here? Okay. 1228 01:01:48,038 --> 01:01:49,408 Hold you steady. 1229 01:01:53,084 --> 01:01:54,084 -(PAUL EXHALES) -(BOTH GASP) 1230 01:01:54,169 --> 01:01:55,249 Fuck! 1231 01:01:55,337 --> 01:01:58,297 l'm sorry. l thought l was gonna pass out. (EXHALES) 1232 01:01:58,381 --> 01:01:59,631 Carry on. 1233 01:01:59,716 --> 01:02:02,716 -What's happening? -Nothing, just hanging around. 1234 01:02:03,094 --> 01:02:06,564 They were about to make out. lt was awkward. 1235 01:02:06,806 --> 01:02:08,426 We were just... 1236 01:02:10,143 --> 01:02:12,813 Good. Please put your shorts on, Paul. 1237 01:02:18,109 --> 01:02:19,279 You guys partake? 1238 01:02:19,819 --> 01:02:21,029 No, thank you. 1239 01:02:22,072 --> 01:02:23,112 l'll partake. 1240 01:02:24,532 --> 01:02:26,992 Are you sure? (LAUGHlNG) lt's pretty strong shit. 1241 01:02:27,077 --> 01:02:29,827 l got it from the military, actually. This is the stuff that killed Dylan. 1242 01:02:29,913 --> 01:02:31,163 Bob Dylan's not dead. 1243 01:02:32,082 --> 01:02:33,122 lsn't he? 1244 01:02:35,251 --> 01:02:36,381 Hit me. 1245 01:02:36,461 --> 01:02:39,211 Okay. Just go easy on it. 1246 01:02:39,714 --> 01:02:40,764 Ruth. 1247 01:02:40,840 --> 01:02:42,630 Just a little bit. Little bit. 1248 01:02:52,644 --> 01:02:53,814 lt's not so bad. 1249 01:02:53,895 --> 01:02:56,475 To be fair, it takes a while to be absorbed into... 1250 01:02:56,564 --> 01:02:57,864 -(LAUGHlNG HYSTERlCALLY) -PAUL: Oh, shit. 1251 01:03:02,737 --> 01:03:06,027 (GASPS) l'm hungry. We should cook up some sausages. 1252 01:03:06,116 --> 01:03:07,986 -Do we have any sausages? -Uh... 1253 01:03:08,159 --> 01:03:09,659 -What do you mean by that? -No. 1254 01:03:09,744 --> 01:03:13,084 Why do you guys hate me? Can we cook up some sausages? 1255 01:03:13,164 --> 01:03:15,834 Ooh, l have wasps in my brain! 1256 01:03:15,959 --> 01:03:16,999 (CLATTERlNG) 1257 01:03:18,169 --> 01:03:21,459 She'll be fine. That happened to me the first time. 1258 01:03:22,882 --> 01:03:24,172 Paul. 1259 01:03:24,843 --> 01:03:27,683 l was wanting to ask. You know us now, right? 1260 01:03:28,179 --> 01:03:31,679 Yeah. Graeme, we're bona fide BFFs. (SPlTS) 1261 01:03:31,850 --> 01:03:33,060 (LAUGHS) 1262 01:03:33,435 --> 01:03:35,385 Why are you in such a hurry to leave now? 1263 01:03:36,020 --> 01:03:37,310 (EXHALES) 1264 01:03:38,189 --> 01:03:42,439 Well, according to the government, l've fulfilled my usefulness. 1265 01:03:42,527 --> 01:03:44,187 l told them everything l know. 1266 01:03:44,279 --> 01:03:47,909 The only thing l have left to offer them now are my abilities. 1267 01:03:48,700 --> 01:03:51,740 The healing, the thought transfer, the camouflage. 1268 01:03:51,828 --> 01:03:55,498 ln order to cultivate those abilities, they need some of my stem cells. 1269 01:03:55,582 --> 01:03:57,752 And l'm not really down with that. 1270 01:03:57,834 --> 01:04:00,794 Lucky for me, l do have one friend left on the inside. 1271 01:04:00,879 --> 01:04:03,259 So, l managed to get an SOS beamed into space. 1272 01:04:03,339 --> 01:04:06,469 l got my people primed and ready to pick me up. 1273 01:04:06,551 --> 01:04:09,431 Then, motherfuckers brought the procedure forward by a day, 1274 01:04:09,512 --> 01:04:10,972 my whole plan goes to shit. 1275 01:04:11,055 --> 01:04:12,135 What happened? 1276 01:04:12,223 --> 01:04:16,523 On the way to the mental labs, l zapped my escort, l stole his car, l took off. 1277 01:04:16,603 --> 01:04:18,313 Found you guys. 1278 01:04:18,396 --> 01:04:20,436 So what happens if you get caught? 1279 01:04:20,899 --> 01:04:24,229 Graeme, they're gonna cut out my brain. 1280 01:04:24,986 --> 01:04:26,066 Oh. 1281 01:04:27,405 --> 01:04:29,155 PAUL: Yeah. lt's fucked. 1282 01:04:29,824 --> 01:04:31,374 lt's kind of a buzz-kill. 1283 01:04:31,451 --> 01:04:34,541 Let's lighten the mood, shall we? Clive, when did you last get laid? 1284 01:04:36,247 --> 01:04:37,827 Oh. Mmm. 1285 01:04:39,250 --> 01:04:42,420 -Collectormania, London, '08. -'08. 1286 01:04:42,504 --> 01:04:43,804 Ewok chick. (CHUCKLES) 1287 01:04:44,297 --> 01:04:46,547 Clive likes boning space bears! (LAUGHlNG) 1288 01:04:46,633 --> 01:04:48,433 Shut up. 1289 01:04:48,927 --> 01:04:51,597 No, but seriously, be honest with me. 1290 01:04:51,679 --> 01:04:52,759 What was it like? 1291 01:04:53,431 --> 01:04:56,181 Well, she was furry nice. 1292 01:04:56,267 --> 01:04:57,347 (PAUL EXCLAlMS lN DlSGUST) 1293 01:04:57,435 --> 01:05:00,805 That's disgusting! That's gross. 1294 01:05:00,897 --> 01:05:02,267 (ALL LAUGHlNG) 1295 01:05:06,611 --> 01:05:08,361 -PAUL: Hey, Clive. -(GlGGLES) 1296 01:05:08,446 --> 01:05:10,606 No, Boomer, it's forbidden. 1297 01:05:10,698 --> 01:05:12,658 Hey, Clive. 1298 01:05:12,742 --> 01:05:14,202 -Hey! -Clive! 1299 01:05:14,285 --> 01:05:16,745 Let's go, guys! We gotta get out of here! 1300 01:05:18,122 --> 01:05:21,122 (GROANS) 1301 01:05:21,209 --> 01:05:23,039 (YAWNlNG) 1302 01:05:23,127 --> 01:05:24,917 Where's Ruth? 1303 01:05:25,004 --> 01:05:27,464 She went back to the RV. 1304 01:05:27,632 --> 01:05:29,302 (LAUGHlNG) 1305 01:05:29,384 --> 01:05:30,764 Of course! 1306 01:05:30,844 --> 01:05:32,934 He can read minds. 1307 01:05:33,012 --> 01:05:34,052 CLlVE: Come on. 1308 01:05:36,349 --> 01:05:39,639 PAUL: Guys, l think we have a slight problem over here. 1309 01:05:42,313 --> 01:05:43,983 Oh, man. 1310 01:05:45,441 --> 01:05:48,191 l can't hold my breath the whole way through town. 1311 01:05:49,571 --> 01:05:50,901 Wait here. 1312 01:05:52,699 --> 01:05:55,159 What? Wait! 1313 01:06:05,253 --> 01:06:07,133 Good morning. Agent Zoil, Secret Service. 1314 01:06:07,213 --> 01:06:09,263 You mind if l come in there and ask a few questions? 1315 01:06:09,340 --> 01:06:10,760 Not at all. 1316 01:06:17,515 --> 01:06:18,555 Morning. 1317 01:06:23,104 --> 01:06:25,774 -PAUL: Why are we holding hands? -So we look like a family. 1318 01:06:25,857 --> 01:06:27,687 PAUL: Yeah, the fucking Friedmans. 1319 01:06:27,775 --> 01:06:28,975 You could be a midget. 1320 01:06:29,068 --> 01:06:30,898 -You're obsessed with midgets! -No, l'm not! 1321 01:06:31,571 --> 01:06:33,701 (WHlSPERlNG) Stop it! Just act normal. 1322 01:06:33,781 --> 01:06:37,951 We're just a couple of regular guys walking down the street with a small cowboy. 1323 01:06:38,036 --> 01:06:39,116 All right, Clive? 1324 01:06:39,495 --> 01:06:40,745 Clive? 1325 01:06:40,830 --> 01:06:43,000 -Clive. -PAUL: Oh, come on! 1326 01:06:48,713 --> 01:06:49,923 (WHlSPERlNG) Clive, what are you doing? 1327 01:06:50,006 --> 01:06:51,416 PAUL: Yeah, man, what the fuck? 1328 01:06:51,507 --> 01:06:52,627 l want it. 1329 01:06:52,717 --> 01:06:56,847 l can appreciate it's a bargain, but this is not Comic-Con now. This is reality. 1330 01:06:56,930 --> 01:06:59,930 PAUL: lt's false economy anyway, it'll break the first time you use it. Let's go! 1331 01:07:00,016 --> 01:07:02,386 -Why would l ever use it? -Can we just go, please? 1332 01:07:02,477 --> 01:07:04,977 Wait. Maybe we should go inside. 1333 01:07:05,063 --> 01:07:06,613 GRAEME: What? PAUL: We'll hide out. 1334 01:07:06,689 --> 01:07:09,779 You go back and get Ruth. Get the RV, pick us up in 1 0 minutes. 1335 01:07:09,859 --> 01:07:10,899 You sure? 1336 01:07:12,236 --> 01:07:13,446 Trust me. 1337 01:07:13,529 --> 01:07:14,779 (KNOCKlNG ON DOOR) 1338 01:07:15,198 --> 01:07:16,318 (GASPS) 1339 01:07:19,619 --> 01:07:21,619 Good morning. My name is Agent Zoil, Secret Service. 1340 01:07:21,704 --> 01:07:24,004 Mind if l come in, ask you a few questions? 1341 01:07:24,082 --> 01:07:26,582 Do you mind if we just do it right here? 1342 01:07:26,668 --> 01:07:27,668 Okay. 1343 01:07:27,752 --> 01:07:30,632 This place is a real cock-sucking mess. 1344 01:07:31,756 --> 01:07:32,796 Got it. 1345 01:07:34,384 --> 01:07:37,764 l'm telling you, we're looking for a goddamn alien. 1346 01:07:37,845 --> 01:07:40,385 l thought all that Project Blue Book stuff was horseshit. 1347 01:07:40,473 --> 01:07:41,853 No, it all makes sense. 1348 01:07:41,933 --> 01:07:43,643 All this hush-hush crap? 1349 01:07:43,726 --> 01:07:45,226 -The drawing that l found? -Mmm-hmm. 1350 01:07:45,311 --> 01:07:47,731 What do you think that girl was talking about last night? 1351 01:07:47,814 --> 01:07:49,864 Holy shit! Spaceman balls! 1352 01:07:49,941 --> 01:07:52,531 Yeah. And who has spaceman balls? 1353 01:07:52,610 --> 01:07:54,490 -Buzz Aldrin? -Be serious. 1354 01:07:54,821 --> 01:07:56,241 (MlMlCS SWOOSHlNG) 1355 01:07:58,449 --> 01:07:59,949 (EXHALES) 1356 01:08:01,536 --> 01:08:02,826 (HUMMlNG) 1357 01:08:04,122 --> 01:08:05,582 PAUL: Hello, handsome. 1358 01:08:06,708 --> 01:08:08,038 KElTH: ls that you? 1359 01:08:08,126 --> 01:08:09,666 Uh, huh? 1360 01:08:09,836 --> 01:08:11,126 ls that you on the cover? 1361 01:08:12,213 --> 01:08:13,213 (SCOFFS) 1362 01:08:13,297 --> 01:08:14,417 No. (NERVOUS CHUCKLE) 1363 01:08:14,966 --> 01:08:16,676 -What's your name? -Keith Nash. 1364 01:08:17,885 --> 01:08:20,465 -Nice to meet you. l'm Paul. -Right. 1365 01:08:20,555 --> 01:08:22,965 So, you're not freaked out by me? 1366 01:08:23,933 --> 01:08:25,893 -Hmm. Yes and no. -Huh. 1367 01:08:26,894 --> 01:08:28,444 You mind taking a look at these photographs? 1368 01:08:28,521 --> 01:08:31,901 Tell me if you recognize either one of these two gentlemen or the one-eyed girl? 1369 01:08:33,067 --> 01:08:35,107 -Ma'am? -No. 1370 01:08:35,194 --> 01:08:37,114 Anything? Anything at all? 1371 01:08:37,822 --> 01:08:38,822 Mmm-mmm. 1372 01:08:38,906 --> 01:08:41,736 -(WHlSPERS) You really think this is an alien? -Yeah! 1373 01:08:41,826 --> 01:08:45,616 -This is huge! This is huge! -l know! l know! 1374 01:08:45,705 --> 01:08:47,405 ls that a comic book shop? 1375 01:08:47,498 --> 01:08:48,998 Can we go in there? 1376 01:08:49,083 --> 01:08:51,423 Maybe. lf you're good. 1377 01:08:51,502 --> 01:08:53,002 Where are you coming from? 1378 01:08:53,087 --> 01:08:54,247 Austin. 1379 01:08:54,338 --> 01:08:56,968 -Good town. -Yeah, it is. They have a lot of bats. 1380 01:08:57,300 --> 01:08:58,720 Sorry? What'd you say? 1381 01:08:58,801 --> 01:08:59,801 Mmm-mmm. 1382 01:09:00,344 --> 01:09:02,144 Okay. Thanks for your time, Mrs... 1383 01:09:02,221 --> 01:09:03,511 Darwin. 1384 01:09:05,224 --> 01:09:07,354 Charlotte Darwin. 1385 01:09:07,435 --> 01:09:09,265 Charlotte Darwin. You have a great day. 1386 01:09:11,439 --> 01:09:12,939 (BREATHES DEEPLY) 1387 01:09:13,274 --> 01:09:14,654 -(KNOCKlNG ON DOOR) -(GASPS) 1388 01:09:16,444 --> 01:09:18,364 BOTH: You are not gonna believe this. 1389 01:09:19,614 --> 01:09:21,284 You should get this one. 1390 01:09:22,575 --> 01:09:24,025 -Thanks. -Yeah, it's good. 1391 01:09:25,578 --> 01:09:28,618 Nice! l like your style, Keith Nash. 1392 01:09:28,706 --> 01:09:30,366 -l gotta go. -Catch you later. 1393 01:09:30,458 --> 01:09:31,878 Bye, Paul. 1394 01:09:31,959 --> 01:09:33,039 Don't get caught. 1395 01:09:33,836 --> 01:09:34,836 (PAUL CHUCKLES) 1396 01:09:34,962 --> 01:09:36,342 Happy trails. 1397 01:09:36,506 --> 01:09:37,506 Eh? 1398 01:09:42,637 --> 01:09:43,887 Huh! 1399 01:09:43,971 --> 01:09:46,471 Pretty good. Pretty good. 1400 01:09:46,808 --> 01:09:47,848 (CLEARS THROAT) 1401 01:09:47,934 --> 01:09:50,064 How much is that? 1402 01:09:51,062 --> 01:09:54,482 With the sword, $299.99 plus tax. 1403 01:09:54,565 --> 01:09:55,725 Yeah, l'll wear it now. 1404 01:09:55,817 --> 01:09:56,817 (KNOCKlNG ON DOOR) 1405 01:09:56,901 --> 01:09:58,571 HAGGARD: Come on, man, let's go! 1406 01:10:00,488 --> 01:10:01,988 l'll be right out. 1407 01:10:02,365 --> 01:10:03,615 (EXHALES) 1408 01:10:03,699 --> 01:10:06,029 Should have used the cufflink thing. 1409 01:10:24,929 --> 01:10:26,759 Spaceman balls? 1410 01:10:33,062 --> 01:10:34,312 (UNZlPPlNG) 1411 01:10:35,648 --> 01:10:37,688 Get your goddamn hands off my motherfucking junk! 1412 01:10:37,775 --> 01:10:38,775 (SCREAMS) 1413 01:10:39,694 --> 01:10:41,824 lt's in there! lt's in there! 1414 01:10:45,741 --> 01:10:47,031 (HAGGARD EXCLAlMS lN DlSGUST) 1415 01:10:47,743 --> 01:10:49,083 (YELLS) 1416 01:10:52,874 --> 01:10:53,924 CLlVE: Hello. 1417 01:10:54,417 --> 01:10:56,627 (SlGHS) O'Reilly! 1418 01:10:56,711 --> 01:10:58,461 You dumb shit, that's just some asshole in a mask. 1419 01:10:58,546 --> 01:10:59,916 (PAUL GASPlNG FOR BREATH) 1420 01:11:00,006 --> 01:11:01,716 Holy Mary, Mother of God! 1421 01:11:02,216 --> 01:11:03,676 l gotta quit smoking. 1422 01:11:03,759 --> 01:11:05,219 (SCREAMlNG) 1423 01:11:05,803 --> 01:11:07,393 -Let's go! -(WOMAN SCREAMlNG) 1424 01:11:07,597 --> 01:11:08,757 Sorry, ma'am! 1425 01:11:09,140 --> 01:11:10,140 (PAUL SCREAMS) 1426 01:11:10,516 --> 01:11:11,676 (GUN FlRlNG) 1427 01:11:15,730 --> 01:11:17,310 -Shit! -PAUL: Don't let... Behind me! 1428 01:11:18,774 --> 01:11:19,984 Hurry up, buttcracks! 1429 01:11:20,067 --> 01:11:21,067 Look, it's that nerd. 1430 01:11:21,402 --> 01:11:22,902 Oh! 1431 01:11:23,613 --> 01:11:25,163 Oh, yeah! 1432 01:11:25,239 --> 01:11:26,909 -Who was that kid? -Keith Nash! 1433 01:11:26,991 --> 01:11:28,071 Punch it! 1434 01:11:29,035 --> 01:11:30,735 l don't know what happened! Who is that kid? 1435 01:11:30,828 --> 01:11:32,198 (TlRES SCREECHlNG) 1436 01:11:37,710 --> 01:11:39,710 -Get the car started! -Yes, sir! 1437 01:11:40,838 --> 01:11:43,168 Whoa, whoa. What's going on? Did you guys get me some information? 1438 01:11:43,257 --> 01:11:44,837 We saw it. We saw the alien. 1439 01:11:44,926 --> 01:11:47,586 lt was in the comic book shop. lt's hideous! l think l shit my pants. 1440 01:11:47,678 --> 01:11:48,928 l don't know what you guys are talking about. 1441 01:11:50,473 --> 01:11:51,563 You know what? 1442 01:11:51,641 --> 01:11:54,561 You know exactly what we're talking about. 1443 01:11:54,644 --> 01:11:56,814 l'm sick and tired of being in the dark on this... 1444 01:11:56,896 --> 01:12:01,146 Where the fuck did he go? 1445 01:12:01,234 --> 01:12:02,784 l got your door for you. 1446 01:12:02,860 --> 01:12:03,990 l got mine. 1447 01:12:04,070 --> 01:12:06,740 He went with those nerds. 1448 01:12:06,822 --> 01:12:10,452 So, you want to follow us, big guy? 1449 01:12:10,534 --> 01:12:12,454 -You kids are gonna go back to the base. -Uh-huh. 1450 01:12:12,536 --> 01:12:15,406 Daddy's gonna stick behind, do a little adult work. 1451 01:12:15,498 --> 01:12:17,328 Now, tell me which way the little green guy went. 1452 01:12:17,416 --> 01:12:19,876 -North East highway. -North East highway. 1453 01:12:19,961 --> 01:12:21,131 Straight home, now. 1454 01:12:21,796 --> 01:12:23,296 (TlRES SCREECHlNG) 1455 01:12:25,132 --> 01:12:27,052 RUTH: Sorry, guys. lt's my dad! 1456 01:12:27,134 --> 01:12:30,264 This guy doesn't quit. You kind of have to respect it. 1457 01:12:38,104 --> 01:12:39,734 -Oh, God, Graeme, drive faster. -RUTH: Go away, Dad! 1458 01:12:39,814 --> 01:12:42,074 -Guys, calm down. -Those asshorns are gonna catch us! 1459 01:12:42,149 --> 01:12:43,609 l said, calm down! Pull over! 1460 01:12:43,693 --> 01:12:45,193 -What do you mean, pull over? -Pull over! 1461 01:13:04,714 --> 01:13:06,054 All right. That's it. 1462 01:13:06,132 --> 01:13:09,262 This is too dangerous. l can make it on my own from here. 1463 01:13:09,343 --> 01:13:11,643 -What do you mean? -No. Graeme, you've done enough. 1464 01:13:11,721 --> 01:13:14,641 l'll boost a car or something. l can drive an automatic. 1465 01:13:14,724 --> 01:13:16,064 You're a terrible driver! 1466 01:13:16,142 --> 01:13:18,602 He's right, Paul. You can't even drive a spaceship. 1467 01:13:18,686 --> 01:13:20,896 l'm close now. l'll be fine. 1468 01:13:20,980 --> 01:13:22,560 But we've come all this way. 1469 01:13:22,648 --> 01:13:24,018 Yeah, and at what cost, huh? 1470 01:13:24,108 --> 01:13:27,278 l've shaken your faith. l've almost gotten you guys killed! 1471 01:13:27,361 --> 01:13:28,531 l just want to get home. 1472 01:13:29,071 --> 01:13:32,411 You are going home. l think we've come too far to let you do this alone. 1473 01:13:32,491 --> 01:13:35,871 Yeah. What happened to BFFs? We are in this together, Paul. 1474 01:13:35,953 --> 01:13:38,963 You bet your hairy love eggs we are. 1475 01:13:39,040 --> 01:13:41,080 The last 72 hours have been the ride of my life 1476 01:13:41,167 --> 01:13:43,207 and l'm fucked if l'm getting off this bus now! 1477 01:13:43,294 --> 01:13:45,804 -Yeah, me, too. -And me. 1478 01:13:45,880 --> 01:13:47,550 Well, that settles it. 1479 01:13:47,673 --> 01:13:49,673 We're all fucked. 1480 01:13:50,718 --> 01:13:52,678 Thank you guys so much. 1481 01:13:52,762 --> 01:13:57,722 lf you're absolutely sure, there is a little something you can do for me. 1482 01:14:02,688 --> 01:14:04,188 -What about this one? -No, too small. 1483 01:14:04,273 --> 01:14:05,983 -Really? -Yeah, too small. 1484 01:14:06,776 --> 01:14:08,486 (ELECTRONlC MUSlC PLAYlNG) 1485 01:14:11,113 --> 01:14:13,323 -Seems rather fitting. -Mmm. 1486 01:14:16,118 --> 01:14:19,538 -That wasn't difficult, was it? -No. Not at all. 1487 01:14:19,622 --> 01:14:21,372 -Hello. -Hello. 1488 01:14:21,457 --> 01:14:24,127 That'll be $299.99, plus tax. 1489 01:14:24,752 --> 01:14:27,252 -Same as the sword. -(CHUCKLES) 1490 01:14:29,173 --> 01:14:31,133 PAUL: Look. They're running. RUTH: Holy shit! 1491 01:14:31,217 --> 01:14:33,587 -Get the door. -Oh, shit. Can you drive this thing? 1492 01:14:33,677 --> 01:14:35,297 l've been driving these things my whole life. 1493 01:14:35,930 --> 01:14:37,140 (ENGlNE STARTS) 1494 01:14:38,099 --> 01:14:39,809 PAUL: Come on! Get in, get in. 1495 01:14:40,810 --> 01:14:41,850 (BOTH PANTlNG) 1496 01:14:41,936 --> 01:14:43,096 Graceful. 1497 01:14:48,317 --> 01:14:51,237 WOMAN ON RADlO: Zoil. Picked up a 9-1-1 outside of Prospect. 1498 01:14:51,320 --> 01:14:55,160 A fireworks store just got ripped off by two British nerds in an RV. 1499 01:14:55,241 --> 01:14:56,241 Son of a bitch! 1500 01:14:56,325 --> 01:14:59,655 According to local bacon, they're on the 14, 40 miles west of you. 1501 01:14:59,745 --> 01:15:02,075 Drive Iike a man, you'll catch up to them in 30. 1502 01:15:02,164 --> 01:15:04,834 Cops are standing down. You better spin your ass around! 1503 01:15:04,917 --> 01:15:06,287 Roger that! 1504 01:15:06,836 --> 01:15:08,166 (TlRES SCREECHlNG) 1505 01:15:11,757 --> 01:15:13,047 Don't make me come out there. 1506 01:15:13,134 --> 01:15:15,394 l'm guest of honor at the governor's ball tonight 1507 01:15:15,469 --> 01:15:16,889 and l'm dressed up real nice. 1508 01:15:16,971 --> 01:15:19,761 Where the hell does this 14 go, anyway? 1509 01:15:19,849 --> 01:15:21,019 You tell me. 1510 01:15:21,100 --> 01:15:23,940 You got Thermopolis, you got Lytle Creek. 1511 01:15:24,019 --> 01:15:27,519 WOMAN ON SCANNER: Holy shit! Moorcroft's on the 14. 1512 01:15:27,773 --> 01:15:29,073 ZOlL: You don't think... 1513 01:15:29,150 --> 01:15:31,110 WOMAN: Son of a bitch is going back. 1514 01:15:31,193 --> 01:15:34,073 He's gonna try and make contact. We got him, Zoil. 1515 01:15:34,155 --> 01:15:35,605 Bring me back my space monkey 1516 01:15:35,698 --> 01:15:39,078 and l guarantee you level 5 clearance and all the perks. 1517 01:15:39,160 --> 01:15:41,080 ZOIL: Great. Better parking space would be good. 1518 01:15:41,162 --> 01:15:44,082 l don't know, man. l don't know. He looked awful mad. 1519 01:15:44,415 --> 01:15:48,205 Fuck him. He's a dinosaur. lt's time for some new blood. 1520 01:15:56,719 --> 01:15:58,339 Okay. We're nearly there. 1521 01:15:58,429 --> 01:15:59,719 This is where we've been headed? 1522 01:15:59,805 --> 01:16:02,385 No. l just need to make a little stop first, okay? 1523 01:16:02,474 --> 01:16:04,604 Do you think we've really got time to be making little stops? 1524 01:16:04,685 --> 01:16:07,185 This is something l really have to do. 1525 01:16:08,314 --> 01:16:10,824 Okay, stop here. This is good. This is close enough. 1526 01:16:12,526 --> 01:16:14,066 (PAUL GROANlNG) 1527 01:16:16,405 --> 01:16:17,905 Shouldn't we park a bit closer? 1528 01:16:17,990 --> 01:16:20,410 No. We don't want to scare her. 1529 01:16:21,243 --> 01:16:22,583 Scare who? 1530 01:16:24,496 --> 01:16:25,576 GRAEME: You knock. CLlVE: You knock. 1531 01:16:25,664 --> 01:16:26,714 GRAEME: l always knock. 1532 01:16:27,791 --> 01:16:29,501 TARA: Who's there? 1533 01:16:30,252 --> 01:16:32,592 ls that Tara Walton? 1534 01:16:33,422 --> 01:16:34,922 TARA: Leave me alone. 1535 01:16:35,591 --> 01:16:37,011 (CLlVE CLEARlNG THROAT) 1536 01:16:37,092 --> 01:16:39,682 Ms. Walton, my name is Clive Gollings. 1537 01:16:39,762 --> 01:16:42,562 l'm here with my friend, Mr. Graeme Willy. 1538 01:16:42,806 --> 01:16:44,096 (DOOR UNLOCKlNG) 1539 01:16:47,436 --> 01:16:48,596 And what do you want? 1540 01:16:51,023 --> 01:16:54,823 We're here with the alien that killed your dog 60 years ago. 1541 01:16:58,864 --> 01:17:00,784 Let's go. Let's just go. 1542 01:17:00,866 --> 01:17:03,156 What is this? Some kind of a joke? 1543 01:17:07,289 --> 01:17:08,619 Hey, Tara. 1544 01:17:10,876 --> 01:17:12,126 (GASPS) 1545 01:17:12,211 --> 01:17:13,671 You! 1546 01:17:14,213 --> 01:17:15,463 (TlCKlNG) 1547 01:17:20,302 --> 01:17:22,932 That's a very loud clock, isn't it? 1548 01:17:23,013 --> 01:17:26,813 You have a nerve showing your face here after all these years. 1549 01:17:28,978 --> 01:17:30,898 Maybe l should make some tea. 1550 01:17:30,980 --> 01:17:32,310 TARA: l'll do it. 1551 01:17:36,151 --> 01:17:37,991 (SlGHS) Okay. 1552 01:17:47,538 --> 01:17:49,618 Look, Tara. 1553 01:17:49,707 --> 01:17:53,127 l only just stopped believing in you, you know. 1554 01:17:53,627 --> 01:17:58,257 l spent a very long time trying to convince folks about what happened that night. 1555 01:17:58,340 --> 01:18:01,260 Everyone said l was mad! 1556 01:18:01,343 --> 01:18:05,563 They told me it was a meteor that squashed little Paul. 1557 01:18:07,141 --> 01:18:09,561 They took me away and they did tests. 1558 01:18:09,643 --> 01:18:12,063 They said it was for cosmic radiation. 1559 01:18:12,146 --> 01:18:15,686 (STAMMERlNG) That l was concussed, hallucinating. 1560 01:18:15,774 --> 01:18:17,734 But l knew you were real! 1561 01:18:17,818 --> 01:18:20,738 l pulled you from that spaceship myself. 1562 01:18:20,821 --> 01:18:22,661 l kept you warm and comfortable. 1563 01:18:22,740 --> 01:18:25,950 l sat there with you till the men came to take you away. 1564 01:18:26,994 --> 01:18:28,874 Pop tried to understand, 1565 01:18:28,954 --> 01:18:32,964 but he would just smile and say, "There there, Tara." 1566 01:18:34,626 --> 01:18:37,626 When word got out about my story, 1567 01:18:38,464 --> 01:18:42,844 kids used to come and throw stones at the house, call me names. 1568 01:18:43,677 --> 01:18:45,757 And l just hid myself away. 1569 01:18:47,306 --> 01:18:50,056 l'd spend whole nights up there, just staring at the sky, 1570 01:18:50,142 --> 01:18:52,522 hoping that l'd catch a glimpse of you. 1571 01:18:52,603 --> 01:18:54,653 And here you are. 1572 01:18:57,316 --> 01:19:00,986 l'm sorry. lf l could have done it any other way, l... 1573 01:19:01,070 --> 01:19:03,280 Oh, it's okay. 1574 01:19:03,363 --> 01:19:04,663 You're real. 1575 01:19:04,740 --> 01:19:06,320 That's all that matters. 1576 01:19:06,408 --> 01:19:07,408 (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) 1577 01:19:07,493 --> 01:19:08,993 -l was right. -Mmm-hmm. 1578 01:19:09,078 --> 01:19:11,948 And all those folks that said l was crazy? 1579 01:19:12,039 --> 01:19:14,829 They can all just go fuck themselves. 1580 01:19:15,125 --> 01:19:16,375 (LAUGHS) 1581 01:19:17,169 --> 01:19:21,009 l brought something for you. l thought you might want it back. 1582 01:19:23,842 --> 01:19:25,222 Here you go. 1583 01:19:25,677 --> 01:19:26,967 (GASPS) 1584 01:19:30,682 --> 01:19:32,022 Oh, thank you. 1585 01:19:37,397 --> 01:19:38,397 (RlNGlNG) 1586 01:19:41,110 --> 01:19:43,190 Who do you suppose that is? 1587 01:19:43,946 --> 01:19:45,026 (TARA GASPS) 1588 01:19:45,697 --> 01:19:47,737 -CLlVE: Where did that come from? -Holy shit! lt's them! 1589 01:19:47,825 --> 01:19:49,025 l'll take the front! 1590 01:19:50,536 --> 01:19:51,576 (SCREAMS) Oh! 1591 01:19:51,662 --> 01:19:52,662 (HAGGARD COUGHlNG) 1592 01:19:52,746 --> 01:19:55,116 What the fuck are you doing here? 1593 01:19:55,207 --> 01:19:56,537 Go! Go! 1594 01:19:57,543 --> 01:19:58,713 (ALL COUGHlNG) 1595 01:20:02,714 --> 01:20:04,264 Haggard! 1596 01:20:04,341 --> 01:20:05,471 HAGGARD: Alien! 1597 01:20:05,551 --> 01:20:06,881 (YELLlNG) 1598 01:20:12,683 --> 01:20:14,233 (GASPlNG) 1599 01:20:17,104 --> 01:20:19,984 Shit! Haggard! Where's the party, man? 1600 01:20:20,065 --> 01:20:22,565 There's no one in this place! Come on, buddy, help me out. 1601 01:20:22,651 --> 01:20:23,691 Oh, fuck! 1602 01:20:25,362 --> 01:20:26,452 HAGGARD: Freeze, motherfucker! 1603 01:20:26,530 --> 01:20:28,200 (GRUNTS) So weak. 1604 01:20:28,282 --> 01:20:29,872 Give me the alien! 1605 01:20:31,326 --> 01:20:32,446 Give me the fucking alien! 1606 01:20:32,786 --> 01:20:34,406 -No! -Ow! Fuck. Watch it. 1607 01:20:34,496 --> 01:20:35,996 Give me the alien! 1608 01:20:36,790 --> 01:20:38,170 Get your own alien. 1609 01:20:38,250 --> 01:20:42,210 (SCREAMlNG) 1610 01:20:43,589 --> 01:20:44,589 (GROANS) 1611 01:20:46,425 --> 01:20:48,625 Thank you, Clive! ls Tara with us? 1612 01:20:48,719 --> 01:20:51,679 Tara! Come this way! Follow us! 1613 01:20:51,763 --> 01:20:53,683 Oh, man-balls! lt's my dad! 1614 01:20:53,765 --> 01:20:55,595 Are you okay? Am l heavy? 1615 01:20:55,684 --> 01:20:57,394 l told you, it's not fat, it's power! 1616 01:20:59,771 --> 01:21:01,061 Oh, great. 1617 01:21:02,608 --> 01:21:03,608 (GASPS) 1618 01:21:06,820 --> 01:21:08,360 l told you we should've parked closer! 1619 01:21:08,864 --> 01:21:10,074 (GUN FlRlNG) 1620 01:21:10,908 --> 01:21:12,908 Holster that. They're mine! 1621 01:21:13,243 --> 01:21:15,623 -Consider that a warning! -You crazy bastard! 1622 01:21:17,331 --> 01:21:19,121 O'RElLLY: l got you, you little space freak! 1623 01:21:19,458 --> 01:21:21,128 Ruth! Get back here! 1624 01:21:21,210 --> 01:21:22,250 Just go home! 1625 01:21:26,673 --> 01:21:28,973 -Oh, l got you, sucker. Coming. -(GAS HlSSlNG) 1626 01:21:29,259 --> 01:21:30,469 Ready or not. 1627 01:21:36,975 --> 01:21:38,135 (SCREAMlNG) 1628 01:21:39,353 --> 01:21:40,483 PAUL: Holy fuck. 1629 01:21:47,110 --> 01:21:48,110 (COUGHlNG) 1630 01:21:48,362 --> 01:21:50,402 -Papa! -Ruth, wait! 1631 01:21:52,282 --> 01:21:54,332 Papa! Papa! 1632 01:21:54,618 --> 01:21:56,078 -(GROANS) -Oh! 1633 01:21:56,495 --> 01:21:58,195 lt's okay, he's alive. He's okay! 1634 01:21:58,288 --> 01:21:59,458 (GROANlNG) 1635 01:21:59,539 --> 01:22:01,539 -Go, Clive, go! -Wait for me! 1636 01:22:01,625 --> 01:22:02,825 You okay? 1637 01:22:02,918 --> 01:22:04,588 -Thank you. l'm okay. -Wait there. 1638 01:22:05,128 --> 01:22:06,298 (COUGHlNG) 1639 01:22:08,382 --> 01:22:09,512 (YELLS) 1640 01:22:12,844 --> 01:22:14,054 Graeme! 1641 01:22:18,350 --> 01:22:19,640 Ruth! Drive! 1642 01:22:22,437 --> 01:22:24,017 CLlVE: Come on, Graeme! 1643 01:22:25,607 --> 01:22:27,147 Don't leave me! 1644 01:22:32,990 --> 01:22:34,030 Never. 1645 01:22:36,410 --> 01:22:38,080 Graeme, you scared the shit out of me. 1646 01:22:38,161 --> 01:22:40,041 Ruth, why aren't you driving? 1647 01:22:40,122 --> 01:22:42,002 l told you. lt's easy! 1648 01:22:42,207 --> 01:22:43,417 (ALL SCREAMlNG) 1649 01:22:48,380 --> 01:22:52,260 Got it. Got it. Got it. Shit. Shit. Shit. Road! Okay. 1650 01:22:53,176 --> 01:22:55,716 Small corrections! Small corrections! 1651 01:22:58,098 --> 01:23:00,558 Oh, my weed! 1652 01:23:00,851 --> 01:23:02,351 (SOBBlNG) Oh! 1653 01:23:13,030 --> 01:23:14,200 (GUN FlRlNG) 1654 01:23:20,037 --> 01:23:24,247 Motherfucking titty-sucking two-balled bitch! 1655 01:23:27,002 --> 01:23:28,382 (TlRES SCREECHlNG) 1656 01:23:32,674 --> 01:23:34,434 WOMAN ON RADlO: Zoil, progress report. 1657 01:23:36,053 --> 01:23:39,893 This is Haggard, sir. Agent Zoil is no longer in command. 1658 01:23:39,973 --> 01:23:42,523 l don't give a shit who's in command. Where the fuck are they? 1659 01:23:42,601 --> 01:23:45,391 Just ahead of me, heading east towards Lytle Creek. 1660 01:23:45,479 --> 01:23:48,859 l don't wanna hear from anybody until that cocksucker is dead! Get me? 1661 01:23:48,940 --> 01:23:50,190 Yes, sir. 1662 01:23:50,275 --> 01:23:51,275 Ma'am. 1663 01:23:57,783 --> 01:23:58,783 God damn it! 1664 01:24:03,789 --> 01:24:06,209 This is official government business! 1665 01:24:06,291 --> 01:24:09,461 Stand down, or l am authorized to use deadly force. 1666 01:24:09,961 --> 01:24:12,051 That thing has my daughter! 1667 01:24:12,130 --> 01:24:13,760 This isn't your mission! 1668 01:24:13,840 --> 01:24:16,550 l'm on a mission from God! 1669 01:24:16,635 --> 01:24:17,965 Tell him you failed. 1670 01:24:18,512 --> 01:24:19,512 Oh! 1671 01:24:33,068 --> 01:24:34,818 Shit! We got company. 1672 01:24:42,494 --> 01:24:43,954 He's trying to overtake us! 1673 01:24:44,037 --> 01:24:45,907 -Don't let him get past! -Should l ram him? 1674 01:24:45,997 --> 01:24:48,707 -What about the deposit? -Fuck the deposit. 1675 01:24:48,792 --> 01:24:49,882 PAUL: You're crazy! 1676 01:24:50,627 --> 01:24:51,707 (SCREAMS) 1677 01:24:57,008 --> 01:24:58,088 Fuck. 1678 01:24:59,511 --> 01:25:00,761 (GRUNTS) 1679 01:25:06,935 --> 01:25:08,595 Oh, fuck! Come on! 1680 01:25:08,687 --> 01:25:09,937 Smile, you son of a bitch! 1681 01:25:10,730 --> 01:25:12,270 Eyes forward, butthorn. 1682 01:25:12,899 --> 01:25:14,019 (SCREAMlNG) 1683 01:25:22,701 --> 01:25:24,331 Do you think he'll be okay? 1684 01:25:24,411 --> 01:25:25,791 Yeah, he'll be fine. 1685 01:25:28,540 --> 01:25:30,210 (GASPS) Mmm. 1686 01:25:34,713 --> 01:25:36,383 -WOMAN ON RADlO: Haggard. -Zoil. 1687 01:25:36,506 --> 01:25:38,046 Where are the other two? 1688 01:25:38,133 --> 01:25:40,683 One crashed and burned, the otherjust burned. 1689 01:25:40,760 --> 01:25:43,180 Jesus Christ! This has been one fuck-up after another. 1690 01:25:43,263 --> 01:25:45,143 l should have handled this myself. 1691 01:25:45,223 --> 01:25:47,603 l am very close. You give me one hour. 1692 01:25:47,684 --> 01:25:50,734 An hour? l'll be eating canapés with the governor in an hour. 1693 01:25:50,812 --> 01:25:52,312 l need this wrapped up now! 1694 01:25:52,397 --> 01:25:55,357 No, no. They're mine, damn it. l'm gonna finish this, once and for all. 1695 01:25:55,442 --> 01:25:58,242 Too late, Zoil. l'm bringing in the big guns. 1696 01:25:59,446 --> 01:26:02,356 Boring conversation anyway. 1697 01:26:02,449 --> 01:26:04,069 -(RADlATOR HlSSlNG) -(GROANS) 1698 01:26:06,828 --> 01:26:10,498 Fare thee well, my friend. You were a faithful and mighty steed. 1699 01:26:10,582 --> 01:26:11,962 l can't believe she's gone. 1700 01:26:12,042 --> 01:26:13,212 Ain't that a bag of tits. 1701 01:26:13,293 --> 01:26:16,503 Oh, what'll we do now, Paul? 1702 01:26:16,588 --> 01:26:18,128 Paul? 1703 01:26:18,590 --> 01:26:20,930 -(BREATHlNG HEAVlLY) -GRAEME: Paul, where are you going? 1704 01:26:31,144 --> 01:26:33,604 PAUL: See? What did l tell you, fellas? 1705 01:26:33,688 --> 01:26:35,978 -You'd know it when you saw it. -(GRAEME CHUCKLES lN DlSBELlEF) 1706 01:26:37,609 --> 01:26:38,859 Oh. 1707 01:26:38,985 --> 01:26:40,395 BOTH: Of course. 1708 01:26:50,830 --> 01:26:54,630 -Ah! Right. Shoots flaming balls. Whoo! -Whoo! 1709 01:26:55,293 --> 01:26:58,003 -Can you just light the fucking thing? -Fireworks are not toys, Paul. 1710 01:26:58,088 --> 01:27:01,628 -What is the suggested safe distance? -Right. 1711 01:27:02,509 --> 01:27:05,049 -500 feet. -That's going to put us behind the tree line. 1712 01:27:05,136 --> 01:27:07,466 -We're not gonna enjoy the full effect. -That's true, actually. 1713 01:27:07,556 --> 01:27:08,556 Hey, what the... 1714 01:27:08,640 --> 01:27:10,270 PAUL: (LAUGHlNG) Oh! Now you're running, huh? 1715 01:27:10,350 --> 01:27:12,640 That's not funny. That's dangerous. 1716 01:27:12,727 --> 01:27:14,227 (ALL GASPlNG) 1717 01:27:38,378 --> 01:27:40,088 (FlRECRACKERS WHlSTLlNG) 1718 01:27:44,801 --> 01:27:46,181 What now? 1719 01:27:46,886 --> 01:27:49,346 We wait. 1720 01:27:57,564 --> 01:27:59,114 Yes. 1721 01:27:59,190 --> 01:28:00,570 -That's amazing. -RUTH: Thank you. 1722 01:28:00,650 --> 01:28:01,780 -PAUL: Not bad. -(RUTH CHUCKLlNG) 1723 01:28:01,860 --> 01:28:03,820 That's three times you've done that now. 1724 01:28:03,903 --> 01:28:05,903 l never met anyone... 1725 01:28:06,031 --> 01:28:07,361 (HlGH-PlTCHED BEEPlNG) 1726 01:28:11,161 --> 01:28:12,201 (GASPS) 1727 01:28:35,477 --> 01:28:36,637 Oh, no, you don't. 1728 01:28:36,853 --> 01:28:38,403 (BREATHlNG HEAVlLY) 1729 01:28:40,607 --> 01:28:42,187 Wait a minute. 1730 01:28:51,576 --> 01:28:55,946 WOMAN ON SPEAKER: Stay where you are, you little green bastard! 1731 01:29:16,685 --> 01:29:18,435 lt's the Big Guy. 1732 01:29:21,314 --> 01:29:23,274 Well, what do you know? 1733 01:29:23,358 --> 01:29:25,648 Small world. 1734 01:29:26,611 --> 01:29:29,281 -Paul! -Zoil? 1735 01:29:36,996 --> 01:29:38,116 (SCREAMlNG) 1736 01:29:39,624 --> 01:29:40,964 (GUNS FlRlNG) 1737 01:29:46,631 --> 01:29:47,631 Huh? 1738 01:29:53,263 --> 01:29:55,313 (GROANS) 1739 01:29:55,849 --> 01:29:59,139 Don't fucking move! 1740 01:30:00,437 --> 01:30:03,147 Okay, everyone be cool. Everyone just be cool. 1741 01:30:03,231 --> 01:30:05,611 l gotta say, l'm a little hurt, Agent Zoil. 1742 01:30:05,692 --> 01:30:07,782 He introduced me to my wife. He's my friend. 1743 01:30:07,861 --> 01:30:11,911 You stupid son of a bitch. You could've been where l am in 1 5 years. 1744 01:30:11,990 --> 01:30:15,030 -l don't want to be where you are. -Too bad, 1745 01:30:15,118 --> 01:30:18,448 seeing as how l'm the one holding all the cards. 1746 01:30:18,538 --> 01:30:21,168 And when l say "cards," l of course mean 1747 01:30:21,249 --> 01:30:22,829 big fucking gun. 1748 01:30:23,084 --> 01:30:24,294 Very big gun. 1749 01:30:25,503 --> 01:30:28,013 -Let's go, Mork. -Don't call me Mork. 1750 01:30:28,089 --> 01:30:29,719 -No. -Guys, you don't have to do this. 1751 01:30:29,799 --> 01:30:31,179 No, he's going nowhere. 1752 01:30:31,259 --> 01:30:32,339 (LAUGHS) 1753 01:30:32,427 --> 01:30:34,257 Can it, nerds. 1754 01:30:34,345 --> 01:30:37,255 Shit, l'd shoot you now if l didn't get off on the idea 1755 01:30:37,348 --> 01:30:40,888 of your being hog-tied and pissed on in Guantanamo Bay. 1756 01:30:40,977 --> 01:30:42,727 They've shut Guantanamo Bay. 1757 01:30:42,812 --> 01:30:44,062 Did they? 1758 01:30:44,439 --> 01:30:46,439 Be honest with yourselves. 1759 01:30:46,524 --> 01:30:50,574 What do you think you can possibly bring to the table at this point in the game? 1760 01:30:52,572 --> 01:30:54,572 Blind fury. 1761 01:30:55,533 --> 01:30:56,873 -(GRUNTS) -(PAUL GASPS) 1762 01:30:57,035 --> 01:30:58,035 Oh. 1763 01:30:58,328 --> 01:30:59,998 False economy. l told you. 1764 01:31:00,580 --> 01:31:02,540 Step aside, fag. 1765 01:31:03,750 --> 01:31:05,040 (SPEAKlNG KLlNGON) 1766 01:31:08,546 --> 01:31:11,086 PAUL: Oh! Dude! 1767 01:31:11,174 --> 01:31:12,264 lnsane! 1768 01:31:16,221 --> 01:31:17,221 (GROANS) 1769 01:31:20,099 --> 01:31:21,479 (SCREAMlNG) 1770 01:31:22,101 --> 01:31:23,271 (GROANS) Oh! 1771 01:31:24,312 --> 01:31:26,652 Ow! 1772 01:31:27,857 --> 01:31:29,067 (SCREAMlNG) 1773 01:31:31,986 --> 01:31:33,146 (GROANS) 1774 01:31:33,238 --> 01:31:36,028 -GRAEME: Ruth! -Get away from her, you bitch! 1775 01:31:37,283 --> 01:31:38,453 Ow! 1776 01:31:40,119 --> 01:31:41,949 (GROANlNG) 1777 01:31:42,622 --> 01:31:44,252 Zoil, you okay, man? 1778 01:31:45,708 --> 01:31:48,288 -So much for the plan, huh? -l know, right? 1779 01:31:48,378 --> 01:31:50,208 Sorry l zapped you at the farmhouse. 1780 01:31:50,296 --> 01:31:52,586 That's okay. l'm sorry l wasn't there to meet you outside the base. 1781 01:31:52,674 --> 01:31:54,304 By the time l got there, you'd already gone. 1782 01:31:54,926 --> 01:31:56,756 But l see you got yourself a plan B, huh? 1783 01:31:56,845 --> 01:31:59,215 Did l ever. These are my friends. 1784 01:31:59,305 --> 01:32:01,055 -CLlVE: Hello. -Pleasure to meet you boys. 1785 01:32:01,140 --> 01:32:03,480 -You did a hell of a job. -Thank you, Agent Zoil. 1786 01:32:04,102 --> 01:32:05,562 Please call me Lorenzo. 1787 01:32:05,979 --> 01:32:06,979 -Lorenzo Zoil? -Lorenzo Zoil? 1788 01:32:08,398 --> 01:32:09,898 That's right. 1789 01:32:11,734 --> 01:32:12,944 MOSES: Ruth! 1790 01:32:13,862 --> 01:32:14,902 Papa? 1791 01:32:18,741 --> 01:32:20,121 -Paul! -Ruth! 1792 01:32:21,619 --> 01:32:23,949 (GASPS) 1793 01:32:25,123 --> 01:32:26,333 That was close. 1794 01:32:32,630 --> 01:32:33,840 Oh, my! 1795 01:32:35,675 --> 01:32:36,965 No! 1796 01:32:37,051 --> 01:32:38,681 -Oh, God, Graeme. -(GRAEME GROANlNG) 1797 01:32:38,761 --> 01:32:40,681 Graeme! 1798 01:32:40,763 --> 01:32:43,143 -l never meant to... -Put the gun down, Mr. Buggs. 1799 01:32:43,224 --> 01:32:44,774 Drop the fucking gun, Dad! 1800 01:32:45,101 --> 01:32:47,061 GRAEME: (SOBBlNG) Oh, no! 1801 01:32:47,145 --> 01:32:49,265 l really liked this T-shirt. 1802 01:32:49,355 --> 01:32:52,685 CLlVE: This is all my fault. We should never have come on holiday. 1803 01:32:52,775 --> 01:32:56,025 No, no. lt's fine. lt's fine, Clive. 1804 01:32:56,112 --> 01:32:57,612 We've had a good time, haven't we? 1805 01:32:57,697 --> 01:32:59,777 Yeah. But you got shot. 1806 01:33:00,950 --> 01:33:05,790 Yeah, l know. But l can honestly say, Clive, this is the most fun l have ever had. 1807 01:33:12,503 --> 01:33:14,133 Graeme? 1808 01:33:14,339 --> 01:33:15,629 (SOBBlNG) 1809 01:33:19,344 --> 01:33:20,434 CLlVE: Graeme? 1810 01:33:21,638 --> 01:33:22,678 Graeme? 1811 01:33:27,727 --> 01:33:29,227 l've gotta try, right? 1812 01:33:32,148 --> 01:33:34,568 -Yeah? -No, no. 1813 01:33:38,863 --> 01:33:41,663 ZOlL: Paul, think about this. 1814 01:33:48,164 --> 01:34:03,434 (GRUNTlNG) 1815 01:34:11,104 --> 01:34:12,274 (GROANlNG) 1816 01:34:29,372 --> 01:34:30,582 (GASPS) 1817 01:34:30,915 --> 01:34:32,035 Paul! 1818 01:34:37,547 --> 01:34:38,837 Paul? 1819 01:34:52,061 --> 01:34:53,401 -(COUGHlNG) -(SlGHS lN RELlEF) 1820 01:34:57,150 --> 01:34:59,900 Oh, that sucked. l don't even get to eat him. 1821 01:35:00,486 --> 01:35:01,646 (LAUGHS) 1822 01:35:05,992 --> 01:35:07,912 Wasn't that really, really dangerous? 1823 01:35:08,661 --> 01:35:12,291 Sometimes, you just gotta roll the dice. 1824 01:35:12,665 --> 01:35:14,745 MOSES: lt's a miracle! 1825 01:35:14,834 --> 01:35:16,004 (LAUGHlNG) 1826 01:35:16,878 --> 01:35:20,838 The Lord has delivered his healing hand! 1827 01:35:20,923 --> 01:35:23,303 You can't win with these people. 1828 01:35:27,513 --> 01:35:31,733 -Sorry you got killed by my dad. -That's fine. 1829 01:35:31,809 --> 01:35:35,019 -Do you want to try that kiss again? -Fuck, yeah. 1830 01:35:40,151 --> 01:35:42,781 Well, what do you know? The geek shall inherit the Earth. 1831 01:35:45,031 --> 01:35:46,031 Huh? 1832 01:35:49,160 --> 01:35:50,200 (WOMAN CLEARS THROAT) 1833 01:35:54,457 --> 01:35:55,867 -(COCKlNG GUN) -Well, ain't this... 1834 01:35:56,375 --> 01:35:57,825 PAUL: Oh! 1835 01:35:59,921 --> 01:36:03,051 l changed my mind. That is Jenga. 1836 01:36:08,888 --> 01:36:10,428 (SPEAKlNG ALlEN LANGUAGE) 1837 01:36:11,224 --> 01:36:12,894 lt feels better. 1838 01:36:22,944 --> 01:36:24,114 Okay? 1839 01:36:27,240 --> 01:36:28,490 RUTH: Oh, that's good. 1840 01:36:28,574 --> 01:36:30,994 -This is a nice one of you. -Thank you. 1841 01:36:31,077 --> 01:36:32,407 Look, Mr. Buggs. 1842 01:36:32,495 --> 01:36:33,785 lt's been a hell of a ride, huh? 1843 01:36:33,871 --> 01:36:34,911 (LAUGHS) 1844 01:36:34,997 --> 01:36:36,247 Sorry l frightened the shit out of you. 1845 01:36:37,124 --> 01:36:40,254 You didn't frighten me. You freed me. 1846 01:36:40,711 --> 01:36:42,301 l'm glad. 1847 01:36:43,381 --> 01:36:44,421 Mmm. That's nice. 1848 01:36:44,924 --> 01:36:46,474 Thanks. 1849 01:36:51,472 --> 01:36:53,182 Hey, take care of her, big man. 1850 01:36:53,266 --> 01:36:56,096 Oh, l will, sir. And God be with you. 1851 01:36:56,185 --> 01:36:58,135 Yeah, whatever, dude. Sure. 1852 01:37:02,942 --> 01:37:04,442 Say bye to Karen for me. 1853 01:37:05,987 --> 01:37:07,607 Safe trip, Short Round. 1854 01:37:08,239 --> 01:37:09,489 Thanks. 1855 01:37:19,375 --> 01:37:22,375 -Oh, you're coming with me. -What? 1856 01:37:22,461 --> 01:37:24,381 l ruined your life, Tara. 1857 01:37:24,463 --> 01:37:26,723 l think it's only right l give you a new one. 1858 01:37:27,633 --> 01:37:28,723 Oh. 1859 01:37:29,677 --> 01:37:31,507 l don't have my toothbrush. 1860 01:37:31,971 --> 01:37:36,311 Baby, where we're going, you don't need teeth. 1861 01:37:40,313 --> 01:37:41,613 (LAUGHS) 1862 01:37:41,814 --> 01:37:44,984 That's right. Right on. Get in there, girl. 1863 01:37:45,651 --> 01:37:48,191 Yeah, she's cool. She's with me. Let her in. Yeah. No. 1864 01:37:48,279 --> 01:37:49,649 (SPEAKlNG ALlEN LANGUAGE) 1865 01:37:53,367 --> 01:37:54,487 Gentlemen. 1866 01:37:54,577 --> 01:37:55,867 (EXHALES) 1867 01:37:56,996 --> 01:37:59,116 l meant to ask, what did you think of the book? 1868 01:38:00,499 --> 01:38:02,669 l liked it, actually. l really liked it. 1869 01:38:02,752 --> 01:38:05,422 There's lot of good ideas in it. 1870 01:38:05,504 --> 01:38:08,634 l kind of found it hard to finish, to be honest. 1871 01:38:08,716 --> 01:38:11,426 Yeah. Yeah, me, too. (LAUGHS) 1872 01:38:11,510 --> 01:38:13,430 You know, as l always say, 1873 01:38:13,512 --> 01:38:16,772 "You have to spin a good yarn before you can weave a great dream." 1874 01:38:18,059 --> 01:38:19,639 That's what Adam Shadowchild said. 1875 01:38:19,727 --> 01:38:22,187 That asshole! He stole that from me. 1876 01:38:22,563 --> 01:38:23,613 Huh. 1877 01:38:23,689 --> 01:38:26,859 -He was a bit of an asshole, actually. -Yeah, he was. 1878 01:38:28,527 --> 01:38:31,987 -Keep it for the journey home, if you like. -Oh, yeah. Definitely. 1879 01:38:34,325 --> 01:38:35,825 (SPEAKlNG ALlEN LANGUAGE) 1880 01:38:38,371 --> 01:38:40,961 lt's safe to say we've all learned something from this. 1881 01:38:41,040 --> 01:38:44,130 Be yourselves. Speak from your heart. Some shit like that, l don't know. 1882 01:38:44,627 --> 01:38:48,337 Yeah, you know, l certainly feel a bit different. 1883 01:38:48,422 --> 01:38:50,512 And me. 1884 01:38:51,092 --> 01:38:52,842 Thank you, guys. 1885 01:38:53,260 --> 01:38:56,510 -No, thank you. -Yeah, thanks, Paul. 1886 01:38:57,682 --> 01:38:59,642 Hugs? 1887 01:38:59,725 --> 01:39:00,925 Come on. 1888 01:39:04,146 --> 01:39:05,266 (SlGHlNG) 1889 01:39:05,982 --> 01:39:07,442 PAUL: Clive, l can feel your boner. 1890 01:39:13,948 --> 01:39:15,618 Till next time. 1891 01:39:22,039 --> 01:39:25,379 -So cool, isn't it? -lt's amazing! 1892 01:39:27,920 --> 01:39:29,300 PAUL: Goodbye! 1893 01:39:51,652 --> 01:39:54,652 See you! Goodbye! 1894 01:40:00,494 --> 01:40:01,954 (SPACESHlP WHlRRlNG) 1895 01:40:02,038 --> 01:40:05,578 This ship takes off very slowly. lt's a little awkward. 1896 01:40:05,666 --> 01:40:06,786 Goodbye! 1897 01:40:08,294 --> 01:40:10,304 Can you guys take off any faster? Come on! 1898 01:40:58,302 --> 01:40:59,552 (EXHALES) 1899 01:41:00,096 --> 01:41:01,546 Ah! 1900 01:41:02,723 --> 01:41:04,563 That was good, wasn't it? 1901 01:41:07,311 --> 01:41:08,731 (ROCK MUSlC PLAYlNG) 1902 01:41:18,697 --> 01:41:19,817 MAN: Hey. 1903 01:41:24,829 --> 01:41:28,619 -WOMEN: Leias! -Thank you. Cheers. 1904 01:41:30,417 --> 01:41:32,167 (SPEAKlNG ALlEN LANGUAGE) 1905 01:41:32,419 --> 01:41:33,499 Sorry. Who are you? 1906 01:41:34,880 --> 01:41:36,170 Someone who loves you. 1907 01:41:36,507 --> 01:41:39,717 Hey! l thought you were coming as Wonder Woman today. 1908 01:41:44,640 --> 01:41:46,890 All right, would you please welcome 1909 01:41:46,976 --> 01:41:52,016 the team behind this year's multi-Nebulon-award-winning best seller. 1910 01:41:58,737 --> 01:42:00,777 By the way, these are friends of mine. 1911 01:42:01,490 --> 01:42:04,410 -l'm very proud of you, Graeme. -l'm very proud of you, Sausage. 1912 01:42:04,952 --> 01:42:06,542 Come on. 1913 01:42:16,797 --> 01:42:19,667 Pat Stevens? Like, Pat Stevens from Chapter 1 ? 1914 01:42:19,758 --> 01:42:20,878 The very same. 1915 01:42:20,968 --> 01:42:22,718 You know, l always pictured you taller. 1916 01:42:22,803 --> 01:42:25,513 -You should see me standing up. -Oh, l'd like that. 1917 01:42:35,399 --> 01:42:37,569 l didn't realize you were so damn pretty. 1918 01:42:37,651 --> 01:42:39,191 You should see me out of these crazy clothes. 1919 01:42:39,278 --> 01:42:41,318 l'd like that. 1920 01:42:42,072 --> 01:42:43,282 Mmm. 1921 01:42:45,117 --> 01:42:46,197 l can't. 1922 01:42:52,333 --> 01:42:54,463 l understand, apparently, they are citing me as the... 1923 01:42:55,502 --> 01:42:56,792 Well, fuck. You know... 1924 01:43:01,342 --> 01:43:04,892 Please welcome to the stage, Clive Gollings and Graeme Willy. 1925 01:43:04,970 --> 01:43:06,100 -Give it up. -(AUDlENCE CHEERlNG) 1926 01:43:08,641 --> 01:43:11,141 BOTH: Three, two, one. 1927 01:43:11,644 --> 01:43:13,194 Congratulations. 1928 01:43:13,270 --> 01:43:14,730 -Congratulations. -Thank you. 1929 01:43:17,650 --> 01:43:18,980 (EXCLAlMS) 1930 01:43:27,117 --> 01:43:28,697 O'RElLLY: Graeme! Clive! 1931 01:43:29,286 --> 01:43:31,866 Whoo! l know those guys! 1932 01:43:43,717 --> 01:43:44,717 (lNAUDlBLE) 1933 01:43:45,135 --> 01:43:46,175 (SlGHS) 1934 01:43:49,306 --> 01:43:51,016 -You! -Hi. 129600