All language subtitles for F for Fake (1974) - NewMov - [Hearing Impaired]

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[Orson Welles] For my next experiment,
ladies and gentlemen...

I would appreciate the loan of any
small personal object from your pocket-

a key or a box of matches, a coin.

Ah, a key it is. Good sir.
Hold it up 10 feet over your head.

And watch out for the slightest hint
of hanky-panky.

And behold, before our very eyes...

a transformation.

We've changed your key...

into a coin.

What happened to the key?
It's been returned to you.

Look closely, sir.
You'll find the key...

back in your pocket.

May we see it, please?

Up to your old tricks, I see.

Why not? I'm a charlatan.

What's that, sir?
Did I used to be a magician?

Sir, I'm still working on it.

As for the key,
it was not symbolic of anything.

This isn't that kind of movie.

You'll find the coin now
in your pocket, sir.

Keep your eyes on that coin, sir...

while it's returned to you as your key.

Shall we return you to your mother?
Is this your mother? No, of course not.

Open your mouth, wide...

and we'll return you your money.

And by the way, have you ever
heard of Robert-Houdin?

Speaking of magicians, I mean?
No, of course not.

- But of course you do know my partner, Fran�ois Reichenbach?
- Hello.

Houdin was the greatest magician
who ever lived.

And do you know what he said?

- "A magician," he said, "is just an actor. "
- Well, good luck to you.

Just an actor
playing the part of a magician.

- [Fran�ois] Very nice.
- And she's fabulously rich too.

- There's a good story about it.
- Do you want to tell it?

We'll come to that one later.

No, it's time for an introduction.

Ladies and gentlemen,
by way of introduction...

this is a film about trickery and fraud...

about lies.

Tell it by the fireside or
in a marketplace or in a movie...

almost any story is almost certainly...

some kind of lie.

But not this time.
No, this is a promise.

During the next hour, everything
you'll hear from us is really true...

and based on solid facts.

You don't talk about
Napoleon or Julius Caesar.

- You're talking about Elmyr.
- [Welles] Elmyr?

- Elmyr?
- [Welles] Who is Elmyr?

That question has yet to be answered
with any real precision.

- Can I kiss you too?
- Certainly.

Anybody want to eat?

[Welles] In the world of the jet-setters,
among us beautiful people...

everybody knows Elmyr,
but Elmyr what?

- He has about 60 time the same name.
- [Welles] De Hory?

He's called his name Hory, Heury,
Bory, Sury, Kury, Bury, Dury-All the -

[Speaking French]

With put U-R-Y. Sixty names.

- His real name was Elmyr Ferenc Huffman.
- Then 60 personalities...

as much lies and as much real.

Well, it sounds very Jesuitical.

Yes, his world
is a world of make-believe.

- I'm not an actor.
- Not an actor? Elmyr?

I'm not an actor.

- I am not a professional actor.
- [Welles] He's a leading actor in this movie.

His profession, it's true,
is painting-painting fakes.

Among all fakers,
Elmyr is number two.

[Fran�ois]
Once I saw a man from Ibiza...

writing a book on fake,
who came to see me to Paris.

He said, "I heard you are
the first man who bought an Elmyr. "

- [Welles] And that man's name was-
- Clifford Irving.

[Man] The important distinction
to make when you're talking about...

the genuine quality of a painting...

is not so much whether
it's a real painting or a fake.

It's whether it's a good fake
or a bad fake.

[High Heels Tapping]

[Brakes Squealing]

[High Heels Tapping]

[Horns Honking]

[Horns Honking]

[No Audible Dialogue]

[Tires Squealing]

[Motorcycle Revving]

[High Heels Tapping]

[No Audible Dialogue]

[No Audible Dialogue]

[Welles]
Her name...

is Oja, Oja Kodar.

And this, by the way,
is from quite another film...

a sequence on the fine
outdoor sport of girl-watching.

Our sneaky crew of cameramen hidden away
in camouflaged trucks and packing boxes...

arranged for her to act for them.

To act as bait.

[Heels Tapping]

You see how it worked.

The entire cast...

all the performers, except one...

acting away like crazy for us
without getting paid for it...

- without even knowing they were movie actors.
- Mama mia.!

- Simple larceny. Well, maybe not simple.
- Mama mia.!

That year nothing was simple...

least of all the larceny.

Now in this little gag,
Lawrence Harvey...

our leading man
from yet another movie...

couldn't arrange space
for Miss Kodar on a plane.

Well, there's no room in this movie
to tell you why in that other one...

we squeezed Miss Kodar into
a more convenient size for traveling...

by a magical illusion.

But you really must believe that
what comes afterwards is solid fact.

Yes, after this bit of hocus-pocus,
the next thing we heard about her...

was not as an actress...

but as the leading figure
in a notorious swindle.

I took another plane,
grew another beard...

made another movie
and well before Miss Kodar-

We'll leave Miss Kodar
aside for the moment.

But in case that mumbojumbo
might make it seem...

that there's going to be some trickery
in this film about trickery...

we'll repeat our promise...

in writing.

The girl-watching was evidence
of how much of all this was filmed...

in blissful ignorance of the facts...

about some of the various characters...

who found their way
in front of our cameras.

Well, Clifford Irving told
the story in the book.

[Welles]
Maybe.

Well, by now, you understand,
I'd fallen in with Fran�ois.

And on the island of Ibiza...

we'd fallen smack into
the biggest series of scandals...

in the whole history of hoaxing.

It was a pretty queer experience
to start making yet another movie...

and end up making yet another...

with a story line
rotten with coincidence.

For instance, that the author of
Fake! a book about a faker...

was himself a faker and the author
of a fake to end all fakes-

and that he must have been cooking it up
when we were filming him.

- [Sighs] Well.
- [Man] Quiet, please. Edith Irving.

- Take three.
- Look, you've known Elmyr longer than anyone else on this island.

Do you really believe
he did all those fakes?

- No, I really don't believe it.
- [Welles] Sorry.

I've been jumping around like this
because that's the way it was.

- [Man] Clifford Irving, take two.
- [Welles Chuckles]

Let's pull ourselves together if we can
and begin at the beginning.

Now, on this tablecloth, which is decorated
with a map, is where everything-

- [Crew Laughing]
- Which I've just loused up with some wine.

But I understand wine
brings good luck behind the ear.

Well, we can use a little luck anywhere.

And here is -
I'll have to mark it in.

On this tiny island is where the two
great hoaxes were hatched - Ibiza.

One island, two Ibizas.

The serious, indeed,
the very sober part...

is part of Spain.

And the other, "An island in the sun,"
Life magazine calls it...

"where restless souls
may find each other. "

The restless souls being, I guess...

Cliff Irving, over there-

and Elmyr.

Coincidence number one:
That these two world leaders in fakery...

operated, quite separately,
on the same tiny island.

That's Mrs. Irving.
Elmyr and Mrs. Irving.

[Man On TV] Clifford Irving,
who declared that he himself...

had delivered to
Howard Hughes or his aides...

the quarter of a million dollars
publisher's advance...

suddenly confessed today
that Mrs. Irving...

is the same Helga R. Hughes
wanted by the police -

[Man On TV Speaking Spanish]

[Continues In Spanish]

"If Clifford dragged Edith
into this, "said Elmyr...

"I spit on his face. "

This was later, of course,
when everything was finally hanging out...

or as much of it as I guess
any of us will ever get to see.

And then we had to stop these Moviolas,
use them as time machines...

and then roll back and come in again...

to the days when Clifford Irving,
as far as any of us knew...

- was just a researcher into someone else's fakery.
- [Cuckoo Clock Cuckoos]

And now for the truth, Clifford.

We'd like to ask you a few question.

My personal feelings
about Elmyr are... very mixed.

He has developed
a fiction about his life...

and to destroy that fiction...

would tear down the whole castle
that he's built...

of his illusions.

The illusion, for example,
that he has not broken any law.

As long as people enjoy it...

and it gives them pleasure,
why shouldn't they have it?

The illusion that the world
has always taken advantage of him.

- Why they shouldn't have it? Why?
- If you were to put it to Elmyr...

that he had taken advantage
of the world...

that he had cheated people,
he'd be horrified.

[Welles] These two
have made each other famous.

They have much in common:

- One of them is talent.
- [Moviola Rattling]

Well, let's start again.

We'll patch this film together...

and we'll try to patch together
Elmyr's version of this story.

[Elmyr]
I came to Ibiza in 1959...

after I found certain aspects
of my life in America...

becoming too difficult.

I wandered around Europe for a time.

I eventually came here.
I liked life here.

I liked the island.
I liked the atmosphere. I liked the people.

And so I decided that is the place
where I want to settle.

The island is, uh, simpatico...

as they say in Chinese.

There is always a group
of interesting people here.

Uh, I find the people amusing.

Sandy, come and say something witty.

[Elmyr] Ibiza is not a place
for snobbish society.

It's not London.
It's not Paris. It's not Omaha.

It is Ibiza, and that's
the charm of Ibiza.

That's what makes Ibiza
why we like to live here.

Ibiza is Ibiza, and here people
are themselves, you know...

doing rather strange things
all the time, you know.

So they shouldn't really be shocked.

- And, uh, everybody minds everybody else's business very intensely.
- [No Audible Dialogue]

[Man]
Several months ago, I read an article...

about Elmyr de Hory...

and I was so impressed...

that I decided to come from Minnesota...

to Ibiza...

in the hope of meeting Elmyr.

And now I have become...

his bodyguard.

[Welles]
That's Mark speaking, Elmyr's friend.

He takes his duties seriously.

Elmyr himself swears that he goes
in daily dread of being murdered.

This takes us into murky waters...

where the lawyers tell us
we'd be rash to go fishing.

In Fake! there's just a hint or two
about this violence and danger...

as a result of which, Irving,
on top of all his other troubles...

is being sued for
$55 million worth of slander.

Interesting question: Is Clifford Irving
being sued for telling the truth?

What makes a slight legal difference -

Well, if you buy the notion that
Cliff Irving turned to forgery...

before he turned to Elmyr...

then I guess you can keep right on
through the looking glass...

and believe that his book
about Elmyr is a pack of lies.

I'm sorry.
A lie about what?

That Fake.! is a fake,
and Elmyr himself...

is a fake... faker.

- Fake fakes! [Chuckles]
- [Welles] Fake, nothing.

Elmyr's a true faker.

Here, for instance,
is a van Dongen by Elmyr.

Van Dongen studied it carefully...

and then swore that
he'd painted it himself.

He's now known as the greatest
art forger in the world.

Well, I don't admit anything,
I just talk about it.

'Cause he's scared. You know, there could
be a jail sentence hanging over his head.

[Welles]
"Elmyr," cries a French newspaper...

"has sold his soul to the devil. "

They said that about
a wizard of the fiddle.

Elmyr's another wizard
of another sort of fiddle-

a true Paganini of the palette.

It's no wonder
that a faker like Elmyr...

can get away with it for 22 years.

If you hang them in a museum
or your collection of great paintings...

and if they hang long enough there,
they become real.

[Irving] Because there's always
a market for it.

[Welles] How much is that drawing worth
on the market today?

[Elmyr]
Probably around $8,000 till $10,000.

[Irving] To my knowledge,
he has never made a mistake...

when identifying a painting.

- [Welles] What period is that Matisse?
- [Elmyr] Uh, '36.

I, uh, feel that we should burn it.

[Irving] When he looks at a painting-
a Matisse, a Chagall-

and says, "That's mine, I did it,"
he is always right.

[Welles]
Elmyr.

There is just no way
of talking about Elmyr...

and leaving out Cliff Irving.

Not any longer.
Right up to the finish...

Elmyr plays a very important role
in his biographer's own story.

Now, just here, of course,
he's stage center.

Willkommen! Willkommen.

[Welles] And Irving,
who, I'll have to admit...

is a much better magician than I am...

has yet to transform himself
before our very eyes...

into a superstar.

Fran�ois, you know,
we talk about your shirt, Reichenbach.

It was indecently ugly.

- [Laughing]
- I can assure you.

[Speaking French]

- [Irving] I must tell you something. I went to the airport today.
- Oh.

I picked up a copy of
the London Daily Express.

And there was an article:

"Exposed: A Man Who Holds
the Art World to Ransom. "

- [Woman] Exposed.! Darling, we can't have
you exposed.! - "Sitting in the sunny studio -"

[Speaking French]

[Irving] And then it goes on to tell
the story of how I took the Modigliani...

- to the Metropolitan Museum of Art"-
- There's a big article!

"A profound embarrassment to them all. "

Elmyr is a profound
embarrassment to them all.

[Speaking French]

The art world,
as it were, has been...

a huge confidence trick.

"Exposed: A Man Who Holds
the Art World to Ransom. "

[Woman Laughing]

- "Sitting in the sunny studio of his �60,000 villa...
- It's fantastic.

"On the Mediterranean island of Ibiza...

"it took Elmyr Dory-Boutin,
the world's greatest art forger...

just one hour to draw
an original Modigliani. "

Today, on a sale,
it would bring somewhere around...

$15,000.

There was really no time
when he ever could have done it.

And also as a man,
how I knew him...

it was all much more a joke.

[Welles] The world has yet to hear a word
about that wig she wore in the Swiss bank.

There hasn't been a breath
about funny passports...

or phony signatures,
and here's Edith...

telling Clifford Irving
that she can't believe Elmyr...

had anything to do with fakery.

[Edith] Therefore I never could think
or will even think now...

that he sat down
and did those paintings.

- [Elmyr] It's a good drawing.
- [Edith] If he did it, my compliment.

- Should we burn it?
- [Edith] And I only hope there are more people who do them.

[Welles]
Irving's book about Elmyr...

is the story of a man of talent taking the
mickey out of those who had rejected him...

translating disappointments
into a gigantic joke.

- [Laughing]
- You think I should keep it for my old age? [Chuckles]

All right, I will.
So I put it back in.

[Irving] You're a painter.
Why do you want people to do fakes?

Because the fakes
are as good as the real ones...

and there's a market,
and there's a demand.

If you didn't have an art market,
then fakers could not exist.

- So, the more, the better. No?
- [Irving] If you say so.

[Welles]
Here's another little coincidence.

A peculiar moment during a lunch party.

And in Switzerland,
checks are not accepted.

You pay cash on the table.

- That's Switzerland. You are Swiss.
- [Laughing]

And you know it.

[Edith] If you did those paintings,
my compliments.

And I only think it's a pity that
there are not more people like you.

And we only pray that
he doesn't exist again.!

[Man On TV] Mrs. Irving now claims
Mr. Hughes himself asked Mrs. Irving...

to deposit the money in a Swiss bank
and then draw it out.

The manuscript itself, however...

he maintains is genuine.

I've known Elmyr for about eight years.

We met when I was broke -

when I was writing fiction
and wasn't selling it very well.

[Welles]
His fiction didn't sell.

Elmyr's biographer
is a highly gifted writer.

Does it say something
for this age of ours...

- that he could only make it big by fakery?
- Je crois.

- That a hoax has made him the most famous writer in the world?
- La grande suprise.

[Welles] Cliff Irving's caper
may well be the hoax of the century...

but really, this is not, you know,
in any way, the century of the hoax.

We hanky-panky men
have always been with you.

- That's a fact. - [Welles] What's new
are the- - [Irving] The experts.

- [Welles] The experts.
- [Elmyr] The so-called experts.

- [Welles] Experts are the new oracles.
- While greatly pretentious -

They speak to us with the absolute
authority of the computer.

Pretend to know something...

what they only know
very superficially.

And we bow down before them.

They're God's own gift to the faker.

All the world loves to see...

the experts and the establishment
made a fool of.

[Elmyr]
Let's say we could find...

a Modigliani made by Kisling...

a Modigliani by Elmyr...

and one Modigliani by Modigliani.

It could be anyone from Knoedler
to Paris or any of the great ones...

who consider themselves
great and experts.

If any of them recognize
which one is which -

[Welles]
And if the lawyers would just let us...

we could name you
one highly respected museum...

which boasts of an important collection
of Postimpressionists...

every single one of which
was painted by Elmyr.

Elmyr, as the great faker
of the 20th century...

becomes a modern folk hero
for the rest of us...

who have a bit of larceny
in ourselves...

but simply don't have the courage
or the opportunity to express it.

When you wrote his biography, you don't
think you've been a little hard on him?

Some people even say, "After I did read
the book of Clifford Irving about you...

I like you even more than before. "

You exploded the myth
of the infallibility...

of the art dealers
and museum directors...

in that you exposed
their crookedness...

their evilness and viciousness.

I went around to the art galleries.

Not with my book...

but with a catalog...

which included
a great many paintings...

that had been sold
over the past few years.

In this catalog was this Modigliani...

which is a Modigliani by Elmyr.

He worked very little.
He died very early...

so if they're added to
a few paintings, a few drawings...

it's not going to destroy his oeuvre.

I would say, "This is a fake"...

and the art gallery owner
would say, "Well, yes, of course.

"I mean, you can see it's a fake,
because Modigliani...

"would never have drawn
the line of the arm...

"parallel to the line
of the dress that way.

And the background is very badly done,
and the signature isn't right. "

In the next gallery, I would show them
this Modigliani in the catalog and say...

- "That's a genuine Modigliani. "
- [Elmyr] Possibly, yes.

And they would look at it and say,
"Yes, you can see it's one of his finest.

"It's a portrait of Mademoiselle H�buterne,"

and "We know it very well,"
and "It's reproduced everywhere. "

After that, I must say...

I lost my faith
in the concept of expertise.

I don't feel bad for Modigliani.
I feel good for me.

[Welles] You name them.
He paints them.

He'll do you a Dufy,
a van Dongen...

a Derain, a Braque,
a Bonnard, a Vlaminck.

- Would you like a nice Matisse?
- [Elmyr] Many of these drawings...

are very weak.

Matisse's lines
were never that sure as mine.

He was hesitant when he made
the drawing, you know?

He added to it a little more
and a little more.

It wasn't as flowing,
it wasn't as sure as mine.

I had to hesitate...

to make it more Matisse-like.

Et voil�.

I would like to see any expert...

or any museum director,
or any art dealer...

who'd know which one is a Matisse...

and which one is by Elmyr.

And I am ready
to accept the challenge.

[Welles]
One nod from an expert...

and that piece of canvas
would be worth...

maybe a couple of
hundred thousand dollars.

And now, with your permission,
a bit of verse... by Kipling.

"When first the flush of a newborn sun
fell on the green and gold...

"our father, Adam, sat under the Tree...

"and scratched with a stick
in the mold.

"And the first rude sketch
that the world had seen...

"was joy to his mighty heart.

"Till the Devil...

"whispered behind the leaves...

"'It's pretty, but is it Art?"'

It's pretty, but is it art?
Well, how is it valued?

The value depends on opinion.
Opinion depends on the experts.

A faker like Elmyr makes fools of
the experts, so who's the expert?

- Who's the faker?
- [Elmyr] I know one thing.

I never offered a painting
or a drawing...

to a museum who didn't buy it.

They never refused one. Never.!

[Welles] What's he up to now?
This- This isn't a forgery.

No, not this time.
This is a portrait by Elmyr...

- Et voil�.
- of another famous art forger.

- Michel-Ange.
- [Welles] Michelangelo, no less, signed-

[Chuckles]
I must say I'm honored.

My signature,
forged by Elmyr on a real Elmyr...

is really something.

You know, art forgery
used to be admired as an art.

And though Michelangelo even used smoke
on some of his fakes to antique them...

like some of the rest of us,
he finally went straight.

[Elmyr]
Et voil�.

[Welles]
Elmyr, reformed...

and exposed-
in the reverse order-

was till just recently
the island's number-one celebrity.

But now the crown has passed
from the old emperor of the hoax...

to the pretender.

Tomorrow at the party.
There's a big party.

- Don't miss it. Tomorrow at 8:00.
- [Woman] What time?

[Welles] The ex-grand master of fakery,
not only unmasked, but eclipsed...

by his own biographer...

is putting a brave face on it...

- and giving another party.
- Eight o'clock.

[Woman]
At your house?

- [Welles] And here...
- I come to invite you for a big party.

[Welles]
Yet another painter from Ibiza.

Life hired him to illustrate
the tale as Irving told it.

Nice to see you. Great.
Hello, David.

[Welles]
David Walsh.

And this is his impression,
based on Irving's report...

of that secret meeting on the Mexican
pyramid with Howard Hughes.

Here's how he's supposed
to have looked...

based on Irving's reports of those secret
meetings which in fact never happened.

But who cared about facts?

Was Mr. Hughes a vegetable?
A spook?

A gibbering lunatic?
Was his hair down to his knees?

Were his fingernails nine inches long?

Did Howard Hughes exist?

Irving insisted that he did.
Hughes denied the existence of Irving.

[Man On Phone] No, and I never saw
him. I never even heard of him.

[Welles] "Don't believe a word of it,"
said Irving.

And believe it or not,
almost nobody did.

Why, they were partners,
Hughes and Irving, said Irving.

They were doing a book together.
Now the Hughes mystery would be solved.

Now, of course Irving knew very well
that whatever made Hughes a mystery...

was whatever had made Hughes himself
a born mystery maker.

Here in the smoggy wonderland of Hollywood
is where I last had to talk to him.

It was 5:00 in the morning
25 years ago.

And I found him, as usual,
very bright, and pleasant, and polite.

Well, now this is like most
of the Hughes legends.

It's just something you hear,
and nothing you can prove...

but for what it's worth,
it seems that hotel bungalow...

was supposedly the H.Q. Of that rather
spooky brigade of midnight minions...

we used to call
"Howard's secret police. "

That's where that tree comes in.

Just precisely there, at 1:30 every morning,
for who knows how many years...

some chosen operative placed,
at precisely the same angle...

a small and very carefully
wrapped package.

Howard Hughes in his nocturnal
wanderings never once paused there...

but it was always ready for him
in case he should.

What was it that
that mystery package contained?

A ham sandwich.

[Clock Ticking]

How can we believe that is true?

[Welles] Fran�ois is referring,
of course, to Elmyr.

But about Hughes...

well, who could blame
Cliff Irving for believing...

that Hughes himself wanted us
to believe almost anything?

Look where we are now. When the old
Hollywood swinger turned hermit...

- this is the hermitage he picked-his hideaway...
- [Roulette Wheel Spinning]

- his desert retreat.
- [Coins Spilling From Slot Machine]

The desert had retreated first,
of course...

to make room for the slot machines
and the crap tables.

Then came Hughes. He chased out
or bought off most of the mafia...

bought up most of the hotels,
and settled down up there...

in a few rooms in the top floor
of that one.

And all through the long years...

not a shadow was seen
moving in that window.

The good people of Las Vegas
kept their eyes peeled, saw nothing...

and believed everything
they told each other.

More than one bemused observer...

claims to have seen
the whimsical tycoon...

at 4:00 in the morning,
promenading this highway...

with no socks on...

and wearing, instead of shoes...

a pair of empty Kleenex boxes.

Do I believe that?
[Chuckling]

But people pretend to be shocked.
They like to be shocked, you know.

It's in their nature.
It's in human nature, you know.

What was he doing up there?

What were they doing to him?

If he broke his silence,
would it be a...

cry for help?

Well, if Hughes couldn't speak,
or wouldn't...

then somebody-
and why not Clifford Irving-

could do the speaking for him.

Nobody got near the man.
Just a tiny band of mystery Mormons...

were admitted to his presence.

Even high executives
in the Hughes empire...

never so much as laid eyes on him.

One man alone laid claim to
having made it into that fortress...

and you can guess who that was.

How had Irving got to Hughes
in the first place? "Simple,� said Irving.

He�d just mailed him a copy of Fake!
With a friendly, sincere dedication...

and the partnership was formed.

And if you can believe the ham sandwich
and the Kleenex boxes...

I guess you can swallow that.

[Man On Telephone] I mean,
this episode is just so fantastic...

that it taxes your imagination...

to believe that a thing
like this could happen.

Was that the voice
of the real Howard Hughes?

I only wish I was still
in the movie business.

[Welles]
Well, now he's on television...

and a committee of journalists
are interviewing his voice.

[Man]
No, I don't remember any scripts...

as wild or as stretching
of the imagination...

as this yarn has turned out to be.

Now remember how this went.
Irving announced that Hughes had decided...

that Irving was just
the writer he could trust...

not only with his book,
but with the money for it.

And this involved an advance of some
three-quarters of a million dollars...

and he had notes, memos
and manuscripts in what he claimed...

was Hughes's own handwriting to prove it.

Now they brought in
the handwriting experts.

Now just here Irving should have
been feeling a bit nervous.

Well, maybe he was
just as cool as he acted...

remembering what he'd learned
from the old maestro himself.

Elmyr was a good teacher,
if only by example...

and his most valuable lesson was this:

Don't be spooked by the experts.

[Elmyr] My opinion about experts is
that it's something far too overestimated.

It's a m�tier which
shouldn't even exist.

And how right he was!

It should not exist that one
single person makes a decision...

about what's good or what's bad.

Sure enough,
after much study and analysis...

the experts on handwriting
handed in their verdict.

The forgeries were genuine.
The proof, and I quote, was "irresistible...

unanswerable, and overwhelming. "

Thus Irving's papers,
like Elmyr's paintings...

were authenticated.

I wanted to find out what it was really like
to try and get an expertise on a fake...

and I asked Elmyr to do
three drawings for me:

Two Matisse and a Modigliani -

which he did before lunch...

and put a little coffee stain
on the edge of the Modigliani...

to make it look really as if Modigliani
had done it in some Paris caf�.

- [Chuckling]
- I then took the three drawings to the Museum of Modern Art.

The museum examined them
for two hours...

and came back with the verdict
that they were absolutely genuine...

and, in fact, were horrified
that I wanted to sell them.

Besides, it's a true story.
The story's absolutely true.

Well, Mr. Irving pretends
that he destroyed them.

I don't think that
Mr. Irving's character...

is exactly a character
who would destroy something...

what he got an offer of 15,000.

I think it's a nice security
in a bank vault...

what could be unwrapped
in 15 years again.

All the tales he tells now...

are things that he has built up
in his imagination over the years...

and come to believe as true.

[Welles]
"The tale is as old as the Eden Tree-

"and new as the new-cut tooth-

"For each man knows
ere his lip-thatch grows...

he is master of Art and Truth. "

[Irving] This created in him,
I think, the ability to live-

I hesitate to say, a criminal life,
because I don't think of him as a criminal.

- [Speaking French]
- He doesn't think of himself as a criminal.

To fool, once in a while,
somebody very, very pompous...

- or somebody very-
- Pretentious.

[Elmyr]
Pretentious, that, I like.

[Irving]
Now that it's out in the open...

that the world knows
who Elmyr is and what he's done...

and now that Elmyr accepts it
and says to the world...

"Yes, it's me. I am the great
art forger of the 20th century. "

Now I think he can recapture
that personal honesty.

- [Elmyr] Good-bye, Matisse.
- I think Elmyr's problem for years...

and the reason why he could not succeed
as a painter in his own right...

was that the type of life he led...

prohibited him from
having a personal vision.

[Welles] "And each man hears
as the twilight nears...

"to the beat of his dying heart...

"the Devil drum
on the darkened pane:

"'It's pretty...

but was it Art?"'

[Crew Member]
Art. Take two.

[Irving] And when an artist
has no personal vision...

what can he communicate
onto the canvas?

[Speaking French]

- [Speaking French]
- Et voil�.

It's pretty, but is it rare?

Lots of oysters, only a few pearls.

[Chuckles]
Rarity.

The chief cause and encouragement
of fakery and phoniness in everything...

even what we're given to eat-

an awful lot of forgery is committed
these days in the kitchen.

Oja?

[Sighs] The seafood
isn't phony in here, thank God.

You can take the word
of an expert.

Three friends from the old days
who used to eat here were real painters:

Jean Cocteau,
the poet and filmmaker-

Well, you might call him
a Monday painter.

He drew the picture on the menu
and signed his name, as you know...

to a whole epoch.

Here on the walls
are samples of the famous charm...

of Christian Berard-
"Baby,� as we called him.

And speaking of charm,
here's Vert�s all around us.

Vert�s had to be charming.
He was Hungarian.

He started his career-
and he told me this right here at this table-

"As a charlatan.
I painted fake masterpieces.

I began," he said, "as Lautrec. "

[Elmyr]
A woman, a titled English woman...

walked in one day to my room...

and she saw on the wall -
pinned on the wall, a drawing.

Say, "Hey, where you got that Picasso?"

I say, "Well, do you think it's a Picasso?"

"And there was this art dealer" -
I won't give you his name -

"turning down everything I showed him" -

this is Vert�s speaking-
"when something caught his eye.

"'Where did you get that? ' he said.

"'That nice little Lautrec. '

"I told him it was a very nice
little Vert�s.

"'I'll take the Lautrec, 'he said.

'And If you happen to find
any more, bring them in. "'

[Elmyr] She said, "Would you sell it?"
I said, "Well, delighted. "

And I suddenly realize
I can sell something...

absolutely unexpectedly
for quite a great deal of money...

in a time when I was unable,
but absolutely unable...

to sell any of my paintings.

"How could you blame me?
I had no money in my pocket...

no socks in my shoes,
no real painting style of my own. "

[Elmyr] Even the amount of five dollars
meant that am I going to eat.

I don't meaning go home
and be full, but to eat.

[Waiter Speaking French]

I would like to see that
poor Hungarian refugee...

who would have resisted
of that temptation.

[Welles]
Well, Vert�s didn't either.

Like all Hungarians,
he told the best Hungarian jokes.

The omelet,
you know that, don't you?

Sure. It's a classic.

An omelet,
it's in our Hungarian cookbook.

"To make an omelet," it says...

"first, steal an egg. "

[Elmyr] Well, naturally,
to be Hungarian is not a nationality.

It's a profession.

[Welles] But the truth about Hungarians,
which they do try to cover up...

is that they're not any more
crooked than the rest of us.

But not the way they like to tell it.
Of all the Hungarian friends I've ever had...

I can't remember one
who didn't want me to think of him...

as a king of con men.

As for this Hungarian's own tales
of his own lurid past...

they don't,
according to his biographer...

jive exactly with versions
of the same events...

as told by certain art dealers.

I do think art dealers...

are crooked.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury...

I put it to you that
between such witnesses...

your choice, to phrase it nicely,
is not easy.

Even if Clifford Irving
mentions in his book that -

I must insist that
I never sell to privates.

Some friend of mine say
you should buy a fantastic drawing...

that own a refugee of Budapest.

"Budapesht. " It's not with a "pest. "
It's with a "pesht. "

He want to sell 10 Modigliani
and 10, uh, Matisse.

At that time,
when I sell to Fran�ois...

he was not a movie director.

He was an art dealer.

I tried to put it in art gallery.
Then it was an occasion...

- because they were to sell for $200.
- [Welles] "Occasion� is a bargain.

[Laughing]

[Welles]
Our whole story really starts, you know...

with two famous collections of paintings.

One belonged to the Reichenbachs
and was real...

the other Elmyr was supposed
to have smuggled out of Hungary.

- From his family.
- Oh, no, that's a complete fabrication.

I can tell you exactly who he was.

After the book was published
I got a letter from a man...

who had known him in
a concentration camp in Hungary.

And he said he was not
from the aristocracy...

but that he was from a normal
lower middle-class home...

and since then
has refused to discuss it.

He just evades the subject
whenever it's brought up.

It's terribly convenient,
beside everything else!

[Welles] Fran�ois bought
some of Elmyr's paintings...

and sold them again in his art gallery
for a couple of fast bucks.

[Fran�ois]
For double the price.

- [Welles] You sold them for double what you bought them for?
- Exactly.

Before he did pay me
for the drawings he did buy...

he sold it already
before he paid me.

Then the third year,
I went back and -

He came to see me.
He said, "I have other Modigliani. "

- I was a little suspicious.
- [Welles] Elmyr said he has more.

- More, but you see, last time - - And you thought
maybe that's a little too many Modigliani.

Because the last time he say,
"It's my last one. Take it. "

Then, when he had others...

I say, "Where they come from?"
But I didn't try to investigate too much.

- But I kept -
- [Welles] Why didn't you?

- Like everyone.
- [Laughing]

Because they were very-
I didn't want to -

- You didn't want to know.!
- Not too much.

The year after, he call me.
He say, "I have three mores. "

- Three more Modigliani.
- I say, "I have already 10 in my rooms.

"I'm not a collector of Modigliani.

"Of course, if you had a dessin-

A portrait of Soutine.
I love so much Soutine. "

- But why did you want a portrait of Soutine?
- Because I like Soutine.

- I see.
- And I asked to Elmyr if he had one.

He say, "I don't have any Soutine
by Modigliani. Why?"

[Welles]
Soutine was a friend of Modigliani.

- Exactement.
- You asked him if he had it.

He say, "I don't have it. " I say, "Then keep
your three others, even if they were very cheap. "

They were the double price,
but they were still very cheap.

Then the night, during the night,
he call me.

He say, "Fran�ois, you are a genius.
You guessed I had one. "

[Laughing]

"How could you know?
I found one in my drawer.

A beautiful portrait of Soutine
by Modigliani. "

[Elmyr] And now there's something else
again what I'm doing here.

That is Picasso.

[Welles]
And now the scene changes...

from New York to Pamplona.

This deep in the Hemingway country...

you might not expect to find Elmyr.

And he said,
"I'm going to reimburse you. "

- I said, "What are you" -
- Reimburse you for what?

- For the fake I sold you.
- Yeah, but you made a lot of money on it.

- Yes, but he didn't know.
- [Chuckling] I see.

And you know what he did?

He gave me a check,
and the check had no money in the bank.

- He gave you a false check.
- Yes.

- For a false painting.
- Yes.

[Welles]
There's a certain justice.

Well...

good-bye, Picasso.

[Welles]
It's a fact of record that art dealers-

Would you take this away, please, and -
and bring me the steak au poivre?

Thanks a lot.
That art dealers, either in ignorance...

innocence, or simple greed...

have made themselves fortunes
on the paintings of Elmyr.

I have not the vaguest idea
the money they got.

Those paintings
must have been pretty good...

or the dealers must have been...
pretty bad.

I could not estimate
if it was 10 million, 20 million -

dollars, pounds, uh, zlotys.

A whole lot of them anyway made profits of
a hundred percent and more on these affairs...

and Elmyr himself
has really made very little.

All I got was a little television
of that size for the $250,000.

[Welles]
Even that handsome house of his, that isn't his.

A dealer has a deal with him.

Somebody must have made
some kind of strange -

- [Irving] Deal.
- Deal.

[Elmyr]
I was fooled.

I was used.

And I was squeezed out-
squeezed out like the last drop.

Because even the roof of that house
doesn't belong to me.

I don't have a dime to my name.

[Welles]
So after all these long years on the run...

even now,
after his final reformation as a forger...

Elmyr can't feel much real security
in this last refuge...

in what people like to call...

"the golden years. "

- [Fran�ois] A little bit of luck.
- And a dash of larceny.

[Welles] You've been freely
owning up to your own past.

I'd better do some confessing myself.

Fran�ois was an art dealer, and I-
well, I was an artist.

I thought I was anyway.
Like Elmyr, I too was once a hungry painter.

But not here in France.
No, I was hungry in Ireland.

I'd come there to paint,
bought a donkey and cart...

filled the cart with paints and canvases
and went traveling.

- At night I slept under the cart.
- [Bell Tolling]

It was a very nice summer.

But then when I got to Dublin...

the donkey had to go up for auction.

And so did I.
My paintings were gone...

all given away to the Irish farmers
who'd given me food.

I'd run out of paint and money.

I was 16 years old,
and my career, as you might say...

was at the crossroads.

Winter was coming in.

Oh, I guess I could have
found myself an honest job...

as a dishwasher or something,
but, no, I took the easy way.

I went on the stage.

I'd never been on the stage,
but I told them in Dublin...

I was a famous star from New York,
and somehow got them to believe me.

That's how I started.

Began at the top, and have been
working my way down ever since.

If acting is an art, cooking up
that bogus Broadway career...

was a fine case of art forgery.

And then later, on the radio -
Well, we've seen how Elmyr started.

In my past there aren't any Picassos.

No. My next flight into fakery
was by flying saucer.

[Saucer Whirring]

[Man On Radio] We interrupt
this program to bring you a news bulletin.

[Man #2 On Radio]
High government sources have ceased to deny...

the presence in many parts of the country
of nonterrestrial objects.

[Man] We return you now to the Starlight
Terrace of the Hotel Glory in Scranton...

- to the singing strings of Laszlo Gabor and His Melodeons.
- ## [Orchestral]

[Welles]
On the radio, I got my first job from Paul Stewart...

and we were lucky enough
to have him join us later in the Mercury.

Paul was a real capo mafia
in the Martian caper.

"The War of the Worlds" was
before World War II, remember.

Before television,
in the great days of radio.

Maybe that's what made it all possible.

[Man On Radio]
Another bulletin, ladies and gentlemen.

The latest word on the monsters
from outer space.

[Man # 2] Correction, from Mars.

Sorry, folks, that's what experts are saying.
They are Martians.

[Welles] TV would have shown us up.
Half the population...

got the screaming jeebies
just because they couldn't see...

how silly it all would have looked.

[Stewart] We said that the Martians
were releasing a noxious gas...

across the Jersey meadows
that was drifting towards New York.

So, people took to the hills.

[Welles]
I met a welfare worker years later...

who told me he spent weeks trying to woo
some of the refugees back to civilization.

[Man On Radio] The entire state
of New Jersey has now been cordoned off.

State highways- Uh, yes?

Ladies and gentlemen,
a special news flash from Washington.

Any moment now,
President Roosevelt will be receiving...

a delegation from Mars.

From Mars.
Peace talks are expected-

[Welles]
A woman-you just have to believe this-

rushed into a police station out in San Francisco
with her clothes in tatters...

to report that she'd been
repeatedly attacked by Martians.

She tried to take poison
for the shame of it...

and they stopped her just in time.

Were they little green men, or what?

"I can't describe it,� she said. "It's hell. "

Somebody down in South America...

did an imitation of that broadcast...

and he ended up in prison.

So I shouldn't complain, I guess.

I didn't go to jail.

I went to Hollywood.

And to testify to yet another coincidence,
here's a leading film director.

All those years ago, he went west with the rest
of us to make our first movie. Richard Wilson.

Our first movie?

Well, among the first of our projects
was to be a story...

based on the fictionalized life
of a certain famous tycoon.

Joe Cotten was to
have played the part.

That certain famous tycoon, yes.
But when the character was changed...

to the famous newspaper tycoon,
it became obvious...

that Orson should play the part,
which, of course, he did.

Oh, I'm not complaining.

No. I had a fine part in Citizen Kane.

But I was just wondering.

That original concept
may have been fun.

Yes, I was just wondering...

if I would have been the first or the last...

to impersonate...

Howard Hughes.

##[Fanfare]

[Announcer]
This week, as it must to all aviation's pioneers...

the great heart
of a welcoming nation went out...

to handsome, well-heeled hero, Howard Hughes.

Broken for speed are all records
for round-the-world solo flights.

Broken, too, is the garbage man's record
for sheer tonnage in ticker tape.

Well noted by observers is
the appropriate nature of ticker tape...

as a tribute to the high-flying
Mr. Moneybags himself.

[Wilson]
Why did we change our minds?

Change tycoons?
Of course, we'd have to change his name.

And as a character in fiction...

who could believe that a man
like Howard Hughes could exist?

I put the sweat of my life into this thing.
I have my reputation rolled up in it.

[Announcer] Hughes fighting here
for the future of a controversial airplane...

an all-wood behemoth, the Spruce Goose.

Other inventions had more success.

One example, the brassiere.

Hughes's design for
a Hughes-directed hit movie...

was, for mammary America...

the cause of a great uplift.

- Less uplifting was the Spruce Goose...
- [Engine Whirring, Sputtering]

The biggest thing with wings
that ever happened-

- [Engine Sputters, Stops]
- In fact, it flew for a few minutes only, a few feet in the air.

And I have stated several times
that if it's a failure...

I'll probably leave this country
and never come back, and I mean it.

[Welles]
And that's what he did, finally.

The super secretive celebrity...

went all out for world fame...

won it, and then got to be
more famous trying for privacy.

Maybe he's a loser after all.

A lady from his past once told me
that's part of his charm.

But this lady-killing, wheeling, dealing...

death-defying, life-defying
mystery man supreme...

has a strange habit of winning somehow-

sometimes anyway-
just at the end.

Is he winning now,
at the end of this story?

[Man On Phone]
I only wish I was still in the movie business.

[Welles] Our semi mythological
night bird of a billionaire...

has flown his Vegas coop.

But only to go on mutely roosting...

on the top of various other holiday hotels...

in germfree...

air-conditioned solitude.

Ah, it's his decision.

On this planet...

crowded and computerized...

being yourself-
whatever that may be -

and keeping yourself to yourself isn't easy.

Make what you want of Howard Hughes,
but not a movie.

Cliff Irving had
more courage than we did...

and as sure a hand,
certainly, at fiction.

Also, I'll admit that he's nudging
the Martians a bit...

for the championship title.

[Man On Phone] It taxes your imagination
to believe that a thing like this could happen.

[Welles]
"I do not know Clifford Irving,� said the voice.

[Man] Until a matter of days ago,
when this thing first came to my attention.

[Welles] All over the world, people were saying
that the fishiest thing in this whole business...

was not Irving's part in it...

but the identity of whoever it was
who claimed to Irving he was Hughes.

And who do you think
is still mixed up in all this?

According to one theory, who else but Elmyr,
a man so skilled in art forgery...

could have forged that manuscript?

Irving's lawyer is speculating
about a host of theories.

Theories, if, for instance,
that telephone voice...

was Hughes and was telling the truth,
we should remember...

that Hughes had been known
to make use of doubles.

And here comes another theory:

Now a double might be
making use of Hughes.

According to informed sources,
high officials in the Hughes empire...

are not even now fully satisfied
that the mystery is completely unraveled.

They are searching for
a "Mr. Big" behind it all.

[Welles]
Was "Mr. Big" Mrs.. Big?

- Edith, maybe?
- [Clock Cuckoos]

Cliff Irving topped all this
and stopped it dead...

with a confession.

[Man] Charges could result
in as much as 100 years imprisonment.

But this may be softened
if Clifford Irving...

agrees to come clean on the whole story.

[Welles]
He did. He told it all...

not only to the courts, but in a book.

And now, as Elmyr leaves that story...

and a chapter in ours
comes to a close...

things may well
be looking up just a bit...

for his biographer, jail or not.

This is a headline
in London's Sunday Times:

"Hoaxer Irving Makes a Handsome Profit. "

- No, no, no.
- And for Elmyr, at least and at last...

that story has a happy ending:
He's in the clear.

[Phone Ringing]

[Welles] Here's another coincidence for you.

To Connecticut, yeah.

[Welles] Somebody else from Ibiza.
This is our co producer.

- [Woman On Phone] Who's calling?
- Richard Drewett.

Richard Drewett, the only simon-pure
noncharlatan in this movie.

Irving just now is holed up in Connecticut,
and we're calling him from Paris.

And so excruciating is Richard's honesty,
that he's insisted on warning...

Time magazine's nomination
for con man of the year...

that our call to him is being taped.

- Hello?
- The book.

Can you say anything
about the, um -

the deal that you've managed
to do with the book?

I mean, is it- h-has it turned out
as well as you'd expected?

- [Irving] Th-The deal?
- [Drewett] Are you going to tell the whole truth?

Yes. Absolutely.

- Yeah.
- In fact the title is The Book About the Book.

In two years, Cliff, you are going to write
"The Book About the book About the Book. "

[Welles] Gentlemen, was that
the real voice of Clifford Irving?

Well, Irving's real voice as a writer...

he may well have found now
in his new book.

The new title is What Really Happened.

[Elmyr]
I want to paint my own paintings.

I want the right uniquely...

and exclusively of my work.

[Welles] And Elmyr?
Will there ever be another book about him?

He's told so many stories about himself...

- always telling this story to that one
and another story to that one. - Uh, I don't -

He's lived always on the run.

[Elmyr] I, uh, stayed ultimately
12 years in the United States.

Which he spent there illegally,
since he only had a three-month visa.

[Elmyr] I lived very simply.
I lived, uh, on my own paintings.

I sold them for $ 10, $ 15.

My own canvases. And then sometimes
when I had absolutely no money...

I was completely broke,
I made a Modigliani drawing.

I took 'em to one of the big dealers
around Beverly Hills.

It never happened
that I didn't sell them.

I always sold them.

One reason he was able to get away
with what he was doing...

for- for 22 years,
selling fakes all over the world...

all over the United States...

was the existence of something new
in the art world.

And that was the art market.

It enabled him to live from day to day...

from painting to painting,
from fake to fake...

from- from con man to con man,
from crook to crook...

and from town to town.

Who knows? What is it?
What -What makes you travel?

You want a change of landscape.
You want to meet new people.

You want to meet new faces.

You think you'll meet somebody more attractive
in the next town as you met there.

You never know. Why?
Why people travel. Do you know?

Because the F.B.I. And the police
in four different states were on his tail.

- But, uh -
- And he had to be one jump ahead of them.

He had to whip off to Mexico and then
up to Canada, and then back to New York.

And then when he heard that the police
were knocking on his door in Miami Beach...

he had to scuttle out of town
on a Greyhound bus to Texas.

[Man On Radio] Hit hard by Torborg,
but right to third baseman, Aurelio Rodriguez.

After one hop,
the ball really flattened out for him.

[Welles]
Then, finally, on a distant island...

he did find a home.

He doesn't own it, remember,
but it's a splendid villa...

with a fine view of the village...

and the village jail.

To be in jail here is probably, I would say-

here is better than somewhere else.

- But a jail is a jail. Let's face it.
- [Welles] Moment of truth.

He's talking about the time
they took him down...

out of that villa, which he doesn't own,
and put him into prison.

Let me show you that again.

To be in jail here is probably, I would say-

here is better than somewhere else.

But a jail is a jail. Let's face it.

Hemingway wrote a great short story...

about an old bullfighter
called "The Undefeated. "

Well, all the heroes aren't in the bullring.

Here's our hero, our ex-jailbird...

flying high above his troubles.

Watch the quick recovery.

[Elmyr]
That was quite a disgusting person.

He looks disgusting too, doesn't he?

He was, again, a German...

whose main preoccupation
was his mustache.

He kept doing nothing
but touching his mustache.

He just kept on curling and curling
and curling his mustache.

These other drawings are made
during the time I was in prison.

In the very end,
the judge himself thanked me...

and he declared that
I'm a very generous and a very kind person.

Now that he's out of prison,
what will he do?

He'll give a party. Another party.

[Speaking French]

[Man] Elmyr, how do you mean
you were not in prison?

[Elmyr] Because I wasn't a prisoner
in the full sense of word.

I was not imprisoned. I was interned.

- [Woman Speaking French]
- She's a great friend of mine.

She's a great friend of mine
She was very sweet and kind to me.

When I was in prison,
she came to see me every day.

Most of the days of the week.

Jean-Pierre Ramon.
I had a Spanish-Polish prince...

Charles-Touriski Bourbon,
who's a cousin germain...

of the next king of Spain,
Juan Carlos, who came every day.

I had every day coming in Nina.

[Welles]
Nina, that morsel plucked...

from our name-dropper's
list of prison visitors...

is the Baroness Van Pallandt.

[Woman]
She was a witness against Irving.

It seems he couldn't have had a secret
rendezvous with Howard Hughes in Mexico...

because he spent every minute
there with the baroness.

She used to be a famous folk singer,
and now she's famous again.

Many other ladies
flitted across the front pages.

No, our cameras
never got close to them.

But Oja Kodar was something else.

- [Man] Uh, Miss Kodar- - [Woman] The newspapers
have been calling you the Hungarian connection.

[Kodar]
Because of my connection with Irving?

[Welles]
This is from the tape of a recent interview.

- [Woman] There's quite a list.
- [Kodar] Indeed.

- If only half of all that is true, I wonder how he ever got away to his typewriter.
- [Woman] Well, Miss Kodar.

- [Man] You wouldn't say that forgery's a crime?
- [Woman] And the experts?

[Kodar] As long as there are fakers,
I guess there'll have to be experts.

But if there weren't any experts...

would there be any fakers?

[Welles]
A friend-another friend-

once showed a Picasso to Picasso...

who said, no, it was a fake.

The same friend brought him,
from yet another source...

another would-be Picasso,
and Picasso said that, too, was a fake.

Then yet another from another source.
"Also fake,� said Picasso.

"But, Pablo,� said his friend...

"I watched you paint that with my own eyes. "

[Chuckles] Said Picasso,
"I can paint false Picassos as well as anybody. "

I'm not excusing myself.
I'm not trying to make an excuse.

I'm trying to explain
a psychological situation...

and a human weakness.

[Irving] He's not in jail today
for basically two reasons.

A court case would bring such
publicity upon the art world...

that any art dealer who took the stand
would automatically become suspect.

The other reason he's not in jail is because...

the French police have explained to me
that in order to jail him in France...

they would have to have two witnesses...

who saw him doing the paintings...

who saw him signing the paintings...

as Vlamincks or Derains or Picassos.

[Elmyr] The signatures were put on...

much later than the paintings were painted.

I never signed any painting anyway.

That's a very important matter.

[Clock Ticking]

No, I never signed any of them.

No. Never did. No.

Never did.

Of course they were signed.

[Welles]
Well, whoever did sign them...

his paintings are in
so many great collections...

that surely it must be said of Elmyr...

that he has achieved
a certain immortality...

under various other signatures.

If you-you hang them in a museum
or your collection of great paintings...

and if they hang long enough there,
they become real.

[Welles]
Now, this has been standing here for centuries.

The premiere work of man, perhaps,
in the whole Western world.

And it's without a signature.

Chartres.

A celebration to God's glory
and to the dignity of man.

Well, all that's left,
most artists seem to feel these days...

is man.

Naked.

Poor, forked radish.

There aren't any celebrations.

Ours, the scientists keep telling us...

is a universe which is disposable.

You know, it might be
just this one anonymous glory...

of all things-

this rich stone forest...

this epic chant, this gaiety...

this grand choiring shout of affirmation...

which we choose...

when all our cities are dust...

to stand intact...

to mark where we have been...

to testify to what we had it in us...

to accomplish.

Our works in stone, in paint,
in print are spared-

some of them for a few decades,
or a millennium or two-

but everything must finally fall in war...

or wear away into
the ultimate and universal ash.

The triumphs and the frauds...

the treasures and the fakes.

A fact of life.

We're going to die.

"Be of good heart"...

cry the dead artists out of the living past.

"Our songs...

"will all be silenced.

"But what of it?

Go on singing. "

Maybe a man's name...

doesn't matter...

all that much.

[Bells Chiming]

[Welles]
And now, at last, we come to Oja.

[Woman On P.A. Speaking French]

[Welles] For this true story,
and with her kind collaboration...

we offer now- well, you might call it
a reenactment of recent history.

As we told you at the start,
she comes into this only at the end.

And that's where we've left her,
for the end.

And as for coincidence-

[Scoffs]Just for instance,
I give you Oja's grandfather.

Oh, no.
[Chuckles]

No, let's take him back
for a while and save him for later.

The mixture's rich enough as it is.

Oja, as far as I know...

never breathed a word
about him to any of us.

She comes into this
when she herself came to the attention of-

well, who else, but the first genius
among all the artists of our age.

The most celebrated,
certainly the wealthiest painter...

in 6,000 years.

Well, Picasso is the biggest phenomenon
of our time.

It never existed that a painter was able...

with one movement of his hand -

what necessarily didn't involve
more than 10 seconds -

that movement of the hand...

transformed in gold.

Not even John D. Rockefeller
was able to do that.

- [Bells Chiming]
- [Woman On P.A. Speaking French]

[Chuckling]
His estate has been valued at...

$ 750 million.

[Chuckles]
Oja turned him into a girl watcher.

This happened not so very long ago...

when Picasso, for reasons of his own...

went to paint for a while
in the little village of Toussaint.

Oja was there too, on her holidays.

And she had a friend with her,
a boy named Olaf...

from somewhere
in the Viking country.

## [Jazz]

In his homeland,
up there in the frozen north...

Olaf had been infected rather imperfectly...

with a taste for
the classic jazz of New Orleans...

and his researches in this area
took place under Picasso's window...

where morning and night
he practiced the trombone.

##[Continues]

Olaf's trombone commenced early...

finished late...

and nearly drove Picasso
out of his skull.

And then - then there was
another distraction.

Far more disturbing.

Oja.

Oja in the morning,
on her way to the beach.

Oja at 10:00,
coming back for the suntan lotion.

To the beach again...

and back once more
at noon for lunch.

In that climate,
after lunch one takes a siesta.

Not Oja.
And not Picasso either.

Cocktail time.

Dinnertime.

Anytime.

Oja on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday...

and all through the week.

Week after week.

Oja checking on the trombone.

Oja escaping from it.

But no escaping for Picasso.

Was he tempted?

Perhaps he was... inspired.

[Wings Flapping]

[High Heels Tapping]

[Trombone Blows]

I can't tell you
what happened in there.

But Picasso was a fast worker,
by which -

I mean to say, you understand, that...

the results of this encounter
were, to say the least of it...

extremely fruitful.

Figs sweetened on the trees.

Grapes burst into ripeness
on the vines.

And 22-22-

large portraits of Miss Oja Kodar...

were born under that virile brush.

Money. We've heard Elmyr on that subject.

Well, Picasso didn't make all that bread...

by casting any crumbs of it on the waters,
or feeding it to the birds...

or giving away any pictures to his models.

But Oja laid down conditions.
She put a price...

on the sunshine.

To give it up, he had to give something to her.
And this is true, you know.

What she exacted from Picasso
was no less than this:

All those pictures - all 22 of them -

were to be hers, outright.

Her property. Oja's very own
to pick up and carry away...

which is just exactly
what she did with them.

The lot. Let's call it the loot.

She got away with it all.

Well, no wonder she's rich, you'll say.

- But wait, there's more to this.
- [Bells Chiming]

Just now, Paris is fogbound.

Just then -
and this is important to our story-

there was another sort of paralysis.

Uh, Paris was suffering from August.

[Chuckles]
This happens every year.

It shuts down, closes up...

and this is the time when an invader
could take the country by telephone...

if he could get somebody to answer it.

And this is the time, of all time...

when, down there in Toussaint...

Picasso, opening his morning newspaper...

read that in a little-known art gallery in Paris...

there had been opened
to the public an exposition...

of the works of Pablo Picasso.!

- [Thunderclap]
- At this, a species of atomic blast...

stormed out of the Riviera.!

In the American hemisphere...

we give our bigger tornadoes...

names like Ethel, Mary Lou and Dolores.

Well, what shook
the South of France that day...

should've been called "Pablo. "

Booking a seat
on the first available plane...

the storm now moved toward Paris.

And there wasn't any improvement
in the atmospheric conditions...

at the airport when another newspaper
came to the artist's furious attention.

"Picasso,� said the headline...

"has been born again. "

Critics were hailing the freshness,
the force, the fecundity.

But who cared? Not Picasso.

No. There'd been
a very clear understanding.

None of those portraits
were ever to be sold.

Oja'd get rich,
but not a penny's profit for Pablo.

There are witnesses who swear
that an aureole of blue flame...

sizzled about that noble head...

as the great painter
burst into the picture gallery.

What is remembered -
what will never be forgotten -

is the terrible incandescence...

of Picasso's rage.

And then there came a sudden...

and quite remarkable change.

Those famous staring eyes...

now stared as eyes
have never stared before.

From picture to picture they traveled.

All 22 of them...

recognizing...

none.

Not one single canvas...

in that whole collection...

had been painted by Picasso.

And there she was...

standing beside him.

You told him about your...

grandfather...

that he was dying.

- He didn't even know he existed.
- Nobody did.

The greatest of all the art forgers...

remained always a legend,
mentioned only in whispers.

Oja, tell us what you did with Picasso.

I just took him by the hand
and led him out...

and put him in my little car.

And drove him to your
grandfather's secret studio?

This is true, you know.
What's amazing is that he went with her.

Here are some pictures.
These are the last I took of him.

And the first to be made public, hmm?

[Oja] He was never photographed,
except in the family.

- He was very careful about that.
- [Welles] That's why he was never caught.

You know, I never thought to ask Elmyr about him.
After all, they're both Hungarians.

There are many great painters in the Renaissance,
but only one da Vinci.

The point being,
that among great art forgers...

your grandfather is the da Vinci?

One of his da Vinci's is so famous
I don't dare to name it.

Giving him credit is as tough
as nailing him for the crime.

- Crime?
- [Chuckling] Well...

he painted every last one
of those phony Picassos of you.

For every last one of which
Picasso was very highly praised.

But not, to put it mildly, highly pleased. You
must have known you couldn't get away with it.

I got to meet Picasso.

So, here they are,
the world's best and least known geniuses.

My grandfather was very glad to see him.

[Welles Sighs]
"Picasso"...

said her grandfather...

"I've been painting you for years.

All the great Picasso periods. "

I'm not trying too hard
for the Hungarian accent...

- but I think that's how it went.
- Oh, yes.

"This girl," said Picasso,
"claims that you're dying. "

"A dying art forger," he said,
"is still an art forger. "

Well, you tell us what Picasso said.

He called us both a couple of crooks.

"Oja," said your grandfather,
"is quite as honest...

"as anyone that young, that beautiful...

and that Hungarian has any need to be. "

"She's stolen my pictures," said Picasso.

"She made you a gift, se�or.
She gave you a whole summer. "

"It's not more than the price of 22 Picassos.
And where, for God's sake, are they now?"

"Pablo -

"May I call you Pablo?

"No.

"Well, se�or...

"it seems that in
my son-in-law's new little art gallery...

"there are 22 paintings,
every one of which has been acclaimed...

"as a masterpiece.

At least, that's the best critical opinion. "

"The best critical opinion
is a load of horse manure. "

Or words to that effect.

"How perfectly we agree on that, se�or.

"But you have
so little reason to be bitter.

"Is there a man in all the world
who doesn't know your name?

And who in all the world knows mine?"

"You're one of those that use
so many names that you forget your own!"

"I, se�or, am not one...

"of anything.

"Like you, I am unique.

"You've seen my big C�zanne
at the Metropolitan?

"Is that just a forgery, my friend?

Is it not also a painting?"

Now, you tell us
what Picasso had to say to that.

Something dirty in Spanish, I think.

He did accuse
your grandfather of arrogance.

Arrogance? A man who never in his life
signed his own name to a picture.

What could be more modest than that?

"It's true that when you think
of those great Rembrandts" -

- Chicago has five of them. Important ones.
- "And London.

"Why, just those two
small Tintorettos in Brazil.

- "And Tokyo.
- The big one.

In Cincinnati. Did all the Goyas
and most of the Grecos. "

And the Monet.
And the Manet in Detroit.

"So, am I not then myself"...

said your grandfather,
"one of the great painters?

"No? No.

"Yet here you are, Picasso,
standing at the deathbed of a ghost.

"For all my life I've been a ghost.

"And for all time, the galleries and museums
will be haunted with my works.

"Do you think I should confess?
To what?

"Committing masterpieces?

"They'd all be torn down from the walls.
And what then would be left of me?

"But before I die,
I find I need something.

"To believe -

"I must believe...

"that art itself...

"is real.

If it is not, se�or" -

Here, my grandfather
was interrupted by Picasso...

who asked him
to stop making speeches.

"We've only to settle the fate...

"of 22 large canvases...

"painted by me.

"Picasso, you move so easily...

"from one Picasso period to another...

"change like a-an actor...

"like an art forger yourself.

"Won't you give to me,
who admire you so much...

"a happy death?

"Can you not let me go
knowing that at last...

"I've managed to give something new...

"to the world?

"One whole Picasso period.

Would you give me this?"

"Give me my pictures," said Picasso.

"Give me back my 22 paintings. "

"Ah," said your grandfather.
"That is impossible.

I have burnt them. "

- [Elmyr] Well, good-bye, Picasso.
- [Bells Chiming]

Time for a confession?

- Time to go.
- Good night, Oja.

That's her real name, you know.

Oja. Oja Kodar.

I don't think that young gentleman's
a trombone player...

but Oja's grandfather was Hungarian.

- Did he paint any pictures?
- Never in his life.

[Welles] Ladies and gentlemen,
we did use Oja's grandfather...

to lend verisimilitude to
the reenactment of this story.

But is "reenactment" really the word?

What I mean is,
with a story this hard to believe...

reenactment isn't easy.
[Chuckling]

- Right, Fran�ois?
- Right.

At the very beginning, I - of all this -
I did make you a promise.

Remember? I did promise...

that for one hour
I'd tell you only the truth.

That hour, ladies and gentlemen, is over.

For the past 17 minutes,
I've been lying my head off.

[Welles] The truth-
and please forgive us for it-

is that we've been forging an art story.

As a charlatan, of course,
my job was to try to make it real...

not that reality
has anything to do with it.

Reality? It's the toothbrush...

waiting at home for you in its glass.

A bus ticket, a paycheck...

and the grave.

In the right mood, perhaps,
Elmyr has just as few regrets...

as I have to have been a charlatan.

But we're not so proud, either of us...

as to lay any superior claim...

to being very much worse
than the rest of you.

No, what we professional liars
hope to serve is truth.

I'm afraid the pompous word
for that is "art. "

Picasso himself said it.

"Art, "he said, "is a lie-

"a lie that makes us...

realize the truth. "

Oja's grandfather,
floating here in the air...

has no comment, which isn't surprising...

because he never existed.

To the memory of that great man
who will never cease to exist...

I offer my apologies...

and wish you all...

true and false...

a very pleasant good evening.

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