All language subtitles for Drew Xanthopoulos - The Sensitives (Bootleg)~(English with English Subs)

Subtitles by explosiveskull

You ready?

I'm gonna plug it in.

- Ready?
- Yup.

- Good night.
- Good night.

I appreciate it
very much.

Oh, you're very,
very welcome.

Blackie.
Want some food? Come on.

Good boy.

Sit. Sit.

God bless this little guy,
amen. Okay.

Hello?

Yeah, next Friday,

- I gotta go in towards town.
- Yeah.

I'm having a hard
time rounding up a ride

with somebody that
has a clean vehicle.

I was wondering if you wasn't
doin' anything next Friday,

if you had time,
if you'd be able

- to give me a ride in there.
- Okay.

And have you already sort
of cased the parking lot

and things like that?

Do you know that you can
get in the building?

No, I don't know.

Hi, my name's Susan Malloy,
and I'm taking a friend

to the doctor's to see
Dr. Peterson on Friday the 12th.

For what?
Peterson?

Yes,
do you remember off-hand

when your pest-control
company comes?

Uh, our pest control?
No, I have no idea.

How can I find out?

About the maintenance schedule
and pest control schedule?

Uh, hold on.

He comes the first
of every month.

Okay, that's good
for our purposes.

Yup.

Okay, and that's
the pest-control guy?

- Yes.
- All right.

Do you know if he's treating
for ants

or anything in particular?

He's just treating
for everything.

Like some kind
of broad spectrum?

Okay.
How about carpet shampoo?

I'm not sure, hold on.

I don't know how
long it normally takes

for people to get
significantly better.

You know, what do
people normally do?

Get out of the line of fire.

Figure out what is
triggering her symptoms

and get it out of the house.

There are a surprising
number of people here

who found out once
they get rid of some

of the chemical exposures.

What seems to really hurt
is electronic equipment.

You know, computers
and routers and cellphones

and things like that.

Okay, I'll tell her that.

We're trying
as much as we can.

Out of where?

I know, sweetie.

I don't, um...

I don't have any miracles.
I wish I did.

First saved voice message.

Hi, Susan,
this is Jamal from the STC.

You can do a Google search
on STC radio frequency safety

and from reading that,
there does seem to be

a rule making that might
be currently underway

so there might be
an opportunity to submit

feedback in that rule making.

Their dad's a musician,
and they grew up...

like, he wasn't around
after the first few years

but they grew up
around music with me

and him and just sort of...

uh, it's just kind of
part of us.

I really just usually
am feeling melancholy,

and I pick up the guitar,
and I'm usually...

I'm mining that vein,
you know?

That's Nathan
playing his guitar.

They were more functional,
you know, a while back.

Ah, let's see, these were
made when we were living

in San Mateo
and probably about the time

they moved over, maybe.

Well, that was Karen.

Must've been
something funny going on.

I don't know what.

This is when they were leaving,
how optimistic they were.

So are we forgetting anything?

It's a short one today
so, uh... there's water,

and then there's
lettuce, banana.

12 quarts of juice.

You hang on to the fact that God
has promised to take care of us.

You know, I've talked
to the pastors

at different times about this,
you know, and one'll say,

"Well, some things you
can't fix," you know.

He said, "Well, you just
gotta draw a line in the sand

and do nothing."

And I said,
"That's not an option."

I think it's a birthday
greetings of some sort.

Uh-huh.
39, getting up there.

Did she do
a drawing?

Uh, somebody did.

Thank you.

Karen was only 17
when she really became ill.

She would react rather
severely to certain things,

but she couldn't really pinpoint
it, what it was, you know.

She was ill when she was
carrying Sam and Nathan.

I guess they just absorbed
the problem from her.

The doctors said they
should get someplace

where it would be
healthier to be.

She should go where it's
cleaner and drier air,

and they knew about Arizona,
so that's why they came over.

I sold my place
over in California, you know.

When I did that, we had
the resource to do the house.

And now they've had
trouble with neighbors

and spraying
and stuff like that.

I guess
it's been 20 years ago

that they actually got really...

had to be in bed a lot,
you know.

And that's
half their life, you know?

She hasn't allowed
people to go in.

You wonder
when it's gonna turn around

and do a little better,
you know?

Yes, I need to
refill prescriptions.

I do.

Okay,
there are three of them,

and they're all
for Joe Fasciulo.

F as in Frank,

A, S as in Sam.

I don't know
how to tell you to prepare

for this show
you're gonna see.

I am so
entertainment deprived.

It'll be like "The Ed Sullivan
show" right there.

I don't get to see
my granddaughters very often

so just to get
to see them is...

I'm gonna go down
there without my mask

I just want them
to remember me...

without the mask.

Yup.

They're not
bothered by the mask.

I'm bothered
that they'd point at me.

They don't point at you.

You know they do.

They point at you?

They point at the mask.

Well, okay, they do.

If something's gonna
hurt me a little bit

I'm gonna have to
make a sacrifice.

I'm gonna choose to do
it when they're here.

You get pretty good when
you're around them.

I know, 'cause I don't
want them to see this.

Jojo!

Hi, Mimi Rue.

How are you?

I bet you like my
sister's piggy tails?

Your sister
has piggy tails?

You gonna go see Jojo?

Oh...

They're just like
"Pick 'em up Joe."

Look at those pigtails.
I haven't seen that before.

Say,
"They're gettin' long."

Here, Joe, sit here.

- No, I'll stay over here.
- Okay.

♪ One little monkey
swingin' from a tree ♪

♪ Teasin' Mr. Alligator,
can't catch me

♪ Oh, came Mr. Alligator,
quiet as can be

♪ He snapped that monkey
right out of that tree ♪

Gonna come play
castle with us?

Oh, right here.

Oh, here's the fence.

With this?

Watching them play is what
I would normally do, you know?

Okay.
Hm, how does it go?

I forgot.

What do you want?
Do you want this?

Yeah, I do, I'm sorry.

Oh, this is
a new experience, isn't it?

I'm sorry, people.

The girls don't
seem to mind, do you?

Chloe, is that good?

♪ The wheels on
the bus for round and round ♪

♪ All through the town ♪

♪ The wipers on the bus
go swish, swish, swish ♪

♪ Swish, swish, swish,
swish, swish, swish ♪

♪ The wipers on the bus
go swish, swish, swish ♪

♪ In our house ♪

♪ Babies on
the bus go wah, wah, wah ♪

♪ Wah, wah, wah,
wah, wah, wah ♪

♪ The babies on
the bus go wah, wah, wah ♪

♪ All through the town ♪

♪ The mamas
on the bus go shh, shh, shh ♪

♪ Shh, shh, shh,
shh, shh, shh ♪

♪ The mamas on
the bus go shh, shh, shh ♪

♪ All through the town ♪

- Did Jojo go upstairs?
- Shh.

Shh, he's sleeping.

Did he go night night?

He's not sitting
on the stairs, we can show you.

Here Remy, look,
he's not right here.

- He went to bed.
- He went to bed. See?

Say "night night."

Good night.

This radio is an
at-home way to figure out

if any electrical
appliance is spewing out

electromagnetic fields.

You want one
that's real staticky

and gets between stations.

There's nothing magic
about it.

It's usually enough
if I can find out,

"Hm, that's a really
serious emitter."

And then unplug it.

Get it?

Hi.

I... I hope you're Delaney.

- I am, yeah.
- Hi.

Hi, good to meet you.
Hey, buddy.

Yeah, this is Blackie.

I love your shoes!

Oh, thank you.

Where would
you like to sit?

Um, well... let me see.

You can sit
with Blackie on the bed.

- Uh-huh.
- You can have a chair...

I'll just sit here,
and when we talk,

maybe we can rearrange
a little bit,

but for now,
this is good.

Your coat smells
like cigarettes.

- Does it?
- Yeah.

- Okay, I'll take it off.
- That'd be nice, thanks.

Okay, um, where
should I leave it?

- Outside on that chair.
- Okay.

Delaney do
you like ginger better

or coffee better or both?

- Um, coffee sounds great.
- Okay.

- I still smell cigarettes.
- Okay.

Um... what would
you like me to do?

- I'm not quite sure.
- Okay.

Do you know if it might
be on your clothes or hair?

Well, I don't smoke,
so it would be coming

from the environment,
I guess.

If you wanna smell me,
that's fine.

Maybe you have a social life
and you get to go out

around people who smoke.

I'm gonna get close
to you for just a sec, okay?

Sure.

Shirt.

- It's the blouse, maybe.
- Okay.

Do you mind if I give you
something else to wear?

- No, not at all.
- Okay.

Here, this might
be a good start.

Great, thank you.

Okay.

I really like your shoes.

Could you just
introduce yourself

and talk a little bit
about who you are?

My name's Susan Malloy
and 1992, '94,

was when I first...
moved here,

lock, stock,
and barrel as they'd say.

And I'd been living in
the San Francisco Bay area

for a long time before
that for graduate school

and to work on projects.

Could you
sort of describe the day

or the night
when it all hit you?

Oh, I was with friends,
and I'd had plenty of exposures

to all kinds of things,

but I didn't really think
much of it.

And that night, I felt this
just bizarre feeling in my head.

And my sinuses and the palate
of my mouth and my throat,

all swelled closed.

That was the beginning,
that was the first of many

emergency room visits.

It can be your food,
it can be mold in the bathtub,

it can be anything that
you're sensitive to.

In my case it was chemical.

And soon I found out about
electrical problems, too.

Cleaning products
were impossible.

I learned to use baking soda
for almost everything.

And when I got here,
I didn't have any choice

but to notice I could
walk pretty well.

My gait changed.

My speech cleared up a lot.

I had to admit I felt
a lot better down here

and I had to take
it real seriously.

I got this book.
You know Rush Limbaugh?

He's written this
children's book.

Very interesting.

It's a history
of our country,

and it's... written to children
to show them

how this country's began
and all the pilgrims,

so it's really interesting.

- Hey, Sam!
- Yeah?

- Can you see this?
- Um, yeah.

Isn't that funny?

Wow.

I'm just reading the part
where he's time traveled

back to the Mayflower.

- Huh?
- I'm just reading the part

where they time travel
back to the Mayflower.

Oh, who...
who's traveling?

Well, he's substituting
as a history teacher at school.

Uh-huh.

And so they go on the horse
back in time

to visit all these
different things.

So he's
going back in time?

Yeah.

The horse talks,

and the horse can disappear
if it wants to.

Okay.

It's a good book.

- Did he write it himself?
- Yeah.

That's pretty heavy.

It is heavy,
what happened?

I'm still
doing this at 96.

And there's Sam and Nathan
that their mom is there

to depend on but she won't
always be there, either.

I sometimes feel like I've
helped them to their doom

is how I feel sometimes,
you know.

Which I can't tell
them that, of course.

Cows versus trains, cows.

Oh.

Bartle Hall versus Nelson.

Nelson.

Yeah.

- Do you want company?
- Huh?

Do you want company?

Yeah.

Oh, I'm picking up
some fragrance from you.

Let me see what it is.

I think it's that.
Let me see this.

Just zip it.

I think you're fine like that.

I'm actually gonna
put my hoodie on.

It might not be a bad idea
with the filters kicked down.

Okay.

The easiest way to relate
is that he has

really bizarre food
allergies or, you know,

he's allergic to everything.

But that doesn't
really sum up...

what's going on.

But that's what
people understand.

We weren't ever having
someone's, you know...

the medical community
say it's in his head.

We never had anybody
say that.

However, nobody could
really validate other...

not that it wasn't in his
head or was in his head,

but they couldn't
validate physically

what was going on with him
because the unknown

is just so hard.

You know, it'd be a
lot easier if you knew

that it was gonna
end and, you know,

just not knowing
"Is this ever gonna end?"

And I think that's
where we all kind of are

right now 'cause it
certainly has changed

the family dynamics a lot.

He had had a lot
of blood in his stool

and went to our
family doctor here

who had a colonoscopy ordered,
and they couldn't find anything.

Then he started
having trouble at work

with his colleagues.

Their personal hygiene,
their shampoos,

things like that.

He would notice more
blood in his stools.

His feet and his hands
tingling,

having a really bad headache,
being nauseated all the time.

And I'm starting
to see the correlation.

Whether it's changing
the oil in the car

or painting a room,
you flare up.

And we've really
protected him

against these
chemical sensitives.

But you can't protect
him against, you know,

all the electronics.

He can feel it.

He's pretty isolated,
pretty solitary in what he does.

He's out there
walking just to get

out of the house so that
we can turn on the furnace,

have the washer
and dryer running,

get caught up on finances
so that I have to pay

bills on the internet.

And does he tell you about
when he walks his loops?

He'll say loop one is for Lanie
'cause she's my one true love.

Then when I'm halfway around,
I go, "What number am I on?"

And then I go two,
two is for Joe and Lanie.

Three.

My son has three kids.

Iso, Lucia, Remy.

10 was Lanie's number
in high school,

whenever she played
sports, she was number 10.

Then I can start with Lanie
and end with Lanie,

so I get the whole family.

We're hoping
we get him down to Texas

in these new little
cottages that are made

specially for people with
chemical sensitivities and EMF.

But I think here
we keep him...

more engaged in life
outside of the illness.

I'm worried that
we're gonna lose

that influence with him
once he's down there.

And that sounds kind of harsh,

but I guess you have to know
what he was like before.

Who is it?
Who do you see?

Jojo.
Jojo.

- Yeah.
- Yeah?

You just see Jojo?

For some people, they just
wanna turn back the clock

and see if they can
get their life back

to what it was before
they got sick, and...

that's not possible.

I thought I was gonna be...

maybe an art-history
librarian,

maybe work at a museum,
maybe get to travel more.

I'm glad I got
to travel when I did.

This is what I slept in
when I was in Indonesia.

This is my blanket.

I just love it because it
reminds of sleeping there.

This is a beauty.

It smells really neat.

Sometimes I put water on it,
you know,

and I swear,
you can still smell camel.

And these are from a different
part of my life... you know?

Maybe what I miss
is I had the ability

to take risks in other
places and learn things.

If I would've got
my wish and been able

to be a librarian, you know
what would've happened?

I do.

The museum would've fumigated,

or used preservation chemicals,

or gotten a new carpet,

or done construction
and built on.

Something like that
would've happened,

I would've got sick anyway.

You asked me if I felt
bad about Sam and Nathan...

but I was thinking
about that last night,

and one of the hardest things
for me has been my mom.

Just the effect
on her of all this.

That's been harder for me.

I'm just gonna say goodbye!

You're welcome.

Alright, love you, too!

So I'll see you later!

Bye.

Give you an imaginary hug.

Maybe you could
just elongate "lose?"

It didn't matter to me,
which...

It don't sound like you
totally have it ironed out.

No, I'm gonna
give it a shot here.

Well, it's
kind of a process.

♪ Backdoor old man ♪

♪ Is fate
just only circumstance? ♪

♪ Can we find a way
to save our souls? ♪

♪ And save our souls ♪

♪ Now we're third in line ♪

♪ We got a little time ♪

♪ Cars ahead
are movin' slow ♪

♪ And we both know ♪

For some reason,
I had the idea that it was,

"Is it fate
or only circumstance?"

Yeah, we had... we didn't...
we had a couple ideas.

Yeah I think you were saying,

"Is fate
just only circumstance,"

or can we, like,
do something about it?

Can we make it a choice?

I don't find illness that
interesting to write about

because usually when
I'm writing, I'm writing

from emotion and it's kind
of just the human experience.

And so, I...
I guess I don't find

the illness is as interesting
as I find... the...

just the human...
the... the...

the way it affects my soul,
I guess, or spirit or...

and what's more interesting,
the cage or the prisoner?

I don't see it.

Okay, I'm gonna have
to ask him where it is

'cause I don't see it.

That's it.

Yes?

The closet?

Yes, was it on?

Yes.

All he can think about now
is somebody's got a cellphone,

how it's gonna hurt him.

I think part of it is
he just doesn't know

what's gonna happen.

A lot of is that
he's really scared.

And so it's tough
when this has never

been our relationship before.

It's kinda like, you know...
I said to him last weekend,

"You have me,
but who do I have?"

You know, 'cause he's not an
emotional support to me anymore.

He was my rock and,
I mean, even to say

"How was work today?"
or "What fun things went on?"

I mean, we... those aren't even
conversations we have anymore.

I just feel like I'm
less some mornings...

when I talk like this.

I just always thought if
I'm gonna say these things,

I'm need to say 'em
to him and I can't say

them to him anymore.

Will anybody
give me a kiss goodbye?

Bye-bye.

- Bye.
- Bye.

I love you girls.

We love you, Jojo!

- Love you, Jojo.
- I love you too, Joycey,

Thank you so much.

Do you wanna put
those supplements in here?

That's what I was gonna do.

You going to D.C.?

You going to D.C. right?

You gonna take the long train?
Just one-way?

All right, she needs to...

This is
our daughter, Meg.

- You haven't met Meg.
- Hi.

All of the Internet and TV
comes into the mechanical room

and I can shut it off there
for people who don't want it.

I have TV and Internet
in there right now.

So if you want that one,
I need to shut it off

in the mechanical room so it
doesn't come into the building.

And this one doesn't
have it right now because

- a person didn't want it, so...
- Okay.

- Do you want the lights off?
- Yeah.

You shut this off,
there's no power

going to that
over there in the bedroom.

Same thing with this,
you shut this off,

there's no power
going to that.

And there are no
other plugs in here

so you're plugless
and outlet-less in here.

All the walls have double foil
and copper wiring,

and the windows
are all grounded.

EMF people get those EMF mats
that they put on their beds.

You're supposed to ground 'em,
so we just put

a grounding rod in before
we pour the foundation.

EMF mats
that you just sleep on?

Mm-hmm.
It's supposed to ground you.

Well,
with the double magnesium,

you can't get
a cellphone signal in here,

and you're not gonna get
anything from the outside.

And all of the wirings
underground's in-conduit.

There's no wires in the walls.

I'm picking a little bit
of fragrance up in here.

I don't know what...
what it is.

I think it's
the potassium silicate paint.

It's basically clay.

You know,
I suppose something...

it could have an odor
or not.

"Dear Mike and Bonnie,

"For months, I've been
wanting to write or call

but days keep being too short
and too tiring

and going by in a fog.

That is the hardest
part of this illness.

It affects the brain so much

and imprisons us
inside ourselves.

When you're that impaired,
it can really

make you feel like dirt.

For instance,
going to the store each day,

"people usually notice
that you're not acting

like everyone else,

but they don't really know
what's going on.

Things like wandering
around the store

and not being able
to make a decision.

Not being able to talk
straight and generally

looking and feeling
like something

that the cat dragged in.

People can be very impatient
and unkind at these times,

and when you're
already not feeling well

you begin to feel like
the scum of the earth."

♪ Woman in an old t-shirt ♪

♪ Woman in a dress ♪

♪ Woman in some old jeans ♪

♪ Woman in a vest ♪

♪ That's the kind
that I like the best ♪

♪ Woman in a... ♪

"We don't have good days
or good times of the day.

"We have moments.

We have good times
in moments."

♪ A woman in distress ♪

"We laugh and pray

and sing
and talk in moments.

The rest is grueling
and hard and marathon.

But thank God
for the moments."

You'll find
the Policy Priority Movement.

There's a lot
of issues in there.

Find the ones
you're passionate about.

That's what you want
to talk about

as an individual advocate
if you get an opportunity

to talk to your legislator.

If you all have questions
on the things

that the subcommittees
have been talking about,

catch up with 'em.

You see their faces.
They're gonna be around today.

We're gonna have caucus sessions
this afternoon.

It's a perfect time
to grab one of 'em

if you have a question
and delve into things deeper.

I definitely will be
using you as a consultant.

See, a lot of these
Mexican kids that grew up

- in migrant farm camps?
- Yeah.

- I'm one of them.
- They're sprayed.

I used to work in California,
in Del Nuevas,

Sultana, in the grapes
and the orchards

and they used to spray those.

See, I was eight to 12 years
old when I work on that

As a result I only have
40% of my lung capacity.

- See?
- Oh, no.

But we... we were all
in there earning a living.

Farmers in the state,
they never bothered

to put out these signs
saying "Environmental hazard"

or never held the ranchers
to any... any standards.

- Yeah.
- So I definitely will support

what you're doing
and get involved with it.

Are you familiar with
the Willamette Valley in Oregon?

- Yes, absolutely.
- I used to work there

in the summers
when I was a kid

picking string beans
and strawberries.

- Strawberries, I did, too.
- All the stuff.

- We'll talk some more.
- Good to meet you, yeah.

- Good to meet you.
- Okay, see ya.

See ya.

Yeah, you may be
the first person

in the last two years
that has said that...

I'm chem...
that I am fragrant.

It's unbelievable that you're
telling us we're fragrant.

It's bullshit.

She's basically saying
"stay away from my unit."

And I'm saying,
if I don't have the right

to move around anywhere
on these premises, fuck you.

Especially if the reason
is I'm fragrant.

I'm already pissed
that I don't have...

that I know she doesn't want me
near that unit.

I just cann... you c...
you just know it.

Well, yeah, she was waitin'
for us when we came out.

She was lookin' out the...
out the...

From this side... yeah,
outside of...

from the sidewalk,

it's basically
community property.

But you... you know,
when you violate their space,

then you run the risk of them
doing something

that you can't deal with.

She had her cellphone
in a plastic bag.

Yeah, she probably
doesn't like the smell.

So she probably doesn't
have the electric problem.

She probably
doesn't like the smell.

So she probably
is more sensitive.

And maybe we have...

you guys have all been
in Whole Foods.

We probably are fragrant,
truth be told.

I should understand that
better than I do,

but it's a what of crazies.

- Concentration.
- Concentration of crazies.

That... that's not fair,
though, I think...

I mean, that's not fair.

- It's not all fair.
- No.

But there's truth to it.

No, it... I think it's
just everybody's issues

- are so... so...
- Concentration of very ill people

who all have to protect
themselves in different ways.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know,
I think about being here

and tolerating it
by yourself,

or being at home
and tolerating it

and knowing that you have
family and granddaughters

and all of this
swarming around...

I don't know... why you would
make that choice.

I agree but I think
that if he would stay here

for a little bit,
he would regain

some of his independence,
and it would be easier on you.

Like, if he were here
by himself even for a month,

he would be forced to cook
for himself

and realize
that he can do it.

But... I don't know.

Well... everything,
for the last two years

has been about him,

and I just do
whatever I can to...

for him, that I...
that...

what I need or want or...
doesn't really

play into the picture
right now.

I guess that waits until after
he's healed if he's gonna heal.

I don't...
I don't know.

I don't think
that's healthy, though, mom.

Because... I don't know
that he's ever gonna be

exactly how he was before.

And I don't think
it's fair for you...

to just...

like, you guys have to find
a new normal together,

and it shouldn't be
just you doing everything

at his beck and call.

You know,
from the inside of my head,

it feels very hard
and not working very well.

We have a few places
that are the possibility areas.

We need to be somewhat rural,

but there are places
like in the Verde Valley

where you're kind of rural
even though you're near, like...

even though you're maybe
less than five miles away from...

Yeah, and there's a lot
of forest lands around

so that it...
there's open spaces a lot.

Yeah,
there's more spread out.

It's not the suburbs,
you know.

We know a couple people
that live there already.

One lady in particular.

We're trying to find somewhere
that would work for us.

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ADAbasics.org
and go there and check it out.

Beginner's course
on the law, on the ADA.

Now, just a second, Susan.

This is beyond beginning ADA.

This is surveying
for accessibility

and how to do assessments

and protect all of our
credibility in the community.

Susan?

Okay, I think one
thing that would help us

would be when you make
a sta...

when someone makes
a statement like...

that the... you know,
the lighting in the walls

and the type of carpet
and so forth

doesn't impact accessibility.

I think it's helpful to say,

"except for certain people,
for whom those are barriers,"

and then go ahead
and explain it to a degree.

And I appreciate
your comment.

Susan and I
go back a few years

in working on multiple
chemical sensitivity,

electromagnetic
sensitivity, MCS, CS issues,

and she has taught me so much.

I appreciate your input,
and what I may do

is reach out to you
later on this year

as I'm finalizing
the agendas

and run it by you
as far as your input.

Thanks for your question.

Let's keep moving,
so I can cover everything

on this, and then if I've
got a couple minutes at the end,

we're gonna
for Q and A...

I want them to come to you.

I don't want them to come to me

'cause I'm not the end-all
expert on this,

but you guys are,
and by referring them to you,

it gives you an opportunity
to not only share the message,

but to grow the network

and add credibility
to the network.

If I can turn 'em on
to somebody who's a real expert

on the issue,
I wanna be able to do that

'cause then I can go work
on something else

where I don't have somebody
to refer them to.

But you know what, it helps
when it comes out of your mouth.

- But the referral will help.
- Really a lot.

If I'm... if I'm able to...
if they're coming to me

because they think I'm the...
the all-wise Mark

and I say,
"Here's a resource for you

that you've been looking for,
and she's a buddy of mine."

Start right away sending me
the stuff you're talking about

that you think is appropriate
for me to look at.

Molding
into the curriculum,

and then once
I start to mold it,

I'm gonna send an outline
to you to say,

"Susan, what do you think
of this?"

- Love ya.
- Wanna give you a high one?

- What's this?
- High one.

High one?
Excellent.

I've learned a new one today.
Thank you.

That's when you
have low expectations.

Oh, really?

I feel like I'm
in this all by myself.

I feel like
I'm doing this all by myself.

So I...
and... and I know... I'm not.

I mean, everyone
tells me how lucky I am

to have the support
system I have.

And I know... I know I have
a support system.

And I can tell people
that I have

a fantastic support system,
but when I go to bed at night,

I still feel like it's
me that is in this room.

It's me
who is stuck like this.

You're not
the only one that's lonely.

So don't...
you can't play that card.

You're not
gonna be happy until...

or unless we're all sick,
too.

- No.
- Yes.

No.

This is kind of how I feel.

And I can't say it.

No, go ahead.

It's all right.

T-tell me.

You might as well tell me,
this is gonna...

It's just
gonna open up a whole...

I don't know.

Tell me.

No, I... I'm just... it...
it doesn't matter.

It's like it doesn't matter
how much we suffer,

you're just never
gonna give us credit

for anything that we've done
to help you along the way.

You've turned this into
something that's all about you,

and you don't even think
about

how it's impacted
everybody else.

You don't care
how it's impacted anybody else

because all you care about
is how it's impacted you.

If you ever get better,

it's all gonna be something
you did all by yourself.

You don't hear me
when I say...

my wife has stood by me
so unbelievably,

- my wife takes showers...
- You say that, but you don't...

I mean, you say that
to people in passing but it's...

you never, ever...

I mean. it's just like
one of those things you say

because we're all standing here
and they have no one.

So it's kind of like
a feather in your cap,

but you don't make us feel
like that day to day to day.

I'm a self-centered bastard.

Something else that you're
gonna have to tell Earl

is that the reception
is so bad out here

and people have to go outside
to use their cellphones.

Well, it's true,
that's what it is.

Not people
trying to be mean.

I'm sorry, Lanie.
I do appreciate...

I know how hard you work for me,
and I appreciate it.

I'm sorry.

Are you crying?

Hey, Nick, this is your dad.

We're gonna get up early
in the morning and head back.

Okay, bye-bye.

I'm 63 years old,

and I've finally learned
to take a hint.

I just wanna work
with people

who are listening
or who ask for help,

not... not try to...

push my values on society.

That hasn't worked.

I just had illusions
about it working.

We might as well
get out of town

and sort of make lives
for ourselves that don't hurt.

Look after our own.

All I know
is people who are EMF...

use this and swear by it.

That's about
all I can tell you.

Yeah, I mean
this is pretty typical.

So turning all
the breakers off

and then pulling one
neutral at a time

and testing, that's...
that does... that sounds...

Oh, yeah,
that's real easy to do.

- Okay.
- We absolutely can do that.

My wife has to do
all the cooking for me.

And if I could start
doing some of my own cooking,

she would be so happy.

Well, I do realize
in your situations,

little things
do affect you.

I mean,
I can't understand... how.

But, I mean, I'm aware,
little things do affect you.

"Effects
of electromagnetic fields

on the immune system."

"Department of Neuroscience,
Karolinska Institute,

Stockholm, Sweden."

"In summary, it is evident
from our preliminary

experimental data that
various biological alternations

are present in EHS persons

claiming to suffer
from exposure to EMF.

The alternations are themselves
enough to fully explain

the electrical
hyper-sensitivity symptoms,

and the involvement of
the immune system is evident."

I want a paper from
someone talking about

what to do about it.

It doesn't exist.

What the... what you can do
to help yourself.

It doesn't exist.

The fact that there's a paper
that doesn't say

it's all in your head...

you should be happy with.

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Nothing.
This could be good.

Maybe everybody's okay!

The people I know
who have impeccable houses

with no chemicals in them
and the electricity's perfect

and so forth,
I don't see them getting well.

Goblin! Goblin!

Goblin!

The people I know
who've gotten better

or at least stabilize
have a lot of love

and sharing and...
and maybe prayer

or whatever you wanna call it
in their lives,

seem to come out quite well.

In at least the last two
or three months,

he's held pretty steady,

and his chemical sensitives
have gotten better.

He has maybe not healed,
but he's been able

to participate in life a little
bit more than in the past.

We're able to take
a breath and say,

"Okay, now we're ready for
the next part of this journey."

I remember telling him,
you know,

you're gonna get well
from all this,

and I'm gonna have all
this emotional baggage

that I'm not gonna know
what to do with.

What do I do
with how I'm feeling?

I don't know
what to do with it.

It seems like
you're supposed to care

for your own people regardless
of what people think.

That's...
you know, that's all.

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alibi for leavin' ♪

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♪ Mm, come up with none ♪

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♪ Mm, come up with none ♪

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♪ And there ain't
no alibi for leavin' ♪

♪ Still you try to
think of some ♪

♪ Mm, but there's none ♪

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