Original subtitles

Luciana... isn't your shift at two?

I changed it! I've got to go to the dentist.

That errand boy again. Luciana, is he courting you?

...Just think! An errand boy. - Well, he's not that ugly!

- But he's still an errand boy! - Elena's right!

Stop it! You're one of those who stare straight at people on the street!

Well, one day I'll catch someone... I won't to end up like Marta!

- How did she end up? - Now she's his concubine!

- What!?! - A concubine!

Those who live together and don't get married!

I think she's right. At least they can't fire her!

Luciana, what do you prefer? Being a concubine or waiting to get married?

I've got to get off!

Luciana, where are you going? What's she doing, is she mad?

I can't understand the reason why we didn't go by train!

Where is the handbag?

- Mum, what's going on here? - The orange flowers!

- Dad, what a party pooper you are! ...we wouldn't have been on time!

It would have been much better... I'm telling you!

- You look great! - But why did you leave the van there!

Nobody will see it, so don't exaggerate.

I'm a bag of nerves!

- Why aren't you wearing your waistcoat? - But I'd die from the heat!

- So we could have saved 3,000 lire, right? - What are we waiting for?

We're ready, the reverend's waiting for us!

- And the witnesses? - They should already be here.

...you're definitely sure everything's proper? - Dad, let's not start again, alright!

Of course Mr. Gino, I did the same thing. - You couldn't wait?

- Well, I could. But... my woman... - But because here, thank God...

Look! The reverend knows that Renzo's in the same condition as me.

We don't speak about the young lady. - Whereas you try to speak about her.

But Gino, the priests will immediately understand

that the women don't want to have babies, and since the sacrament isn't valid...

At least the jacket!

Luciana, Giuseppe Antonicelli and Mario... what's your last name?

- I'll say it to the priest! Relax! - Nice to met you

You're sure they'll say nothing to nobody?

Who cares? They're from the other side of the city!

So let's go because I've got overtime at 2!

What a wedding! They didn't even let them off overtime!

- If they can't marry, why not wait? - And if something happens?

You see who's thinking negatively?! And then the marriage isn't valid if...

Dad's not at all well, all he does is repeat the same words!

What's he got, arteriosclerosis!

How wonderful!

- Luciana, do you want a pill? - No, no nothing. It'll pass!

I ate an ice cream, it must have been that.

Look, the book-keeper!

Is it you that asked to swop shifts today?

- Yes, the dentist... - But the public dentist

isn't open at 2.

I've already been treated by my father's dentist friend.

- Why? - Because he's good!

- And the drill? Doesn't it scare you? - Sure!

Those medical types... and women.

- Molar? - What?

Ah... yes, one of those big ones...

Let's have a little look.

Very good, go on. What time do you get off tonight?

- Seven. - Very good.

Careful... he must be one of those... Ask Marisa!

He looks like a silly sausage, but that's exactly the kind who are wolves!

- Unbelievable! - Well, somebody says its true...

...he seems like a real wolf! - Ask Pinuccia...

- Pinuccia? - Oh, I'll just say: Be careful!

As if I'm waiting for him! I pray every night!

- Pinuccia? ...swear it's true! - I swear!

- Didn't you say you were going out? - It's late, and it seems like dad...

Well? What's the matter?

She asks if we want to go out

You can go out, I'll wait and play cards with my friends.

- Couldn't you not play tonight? - Why's that?

We've given up the room, can't we even play a game now?

Yes, but I'm talking tonight you could go over to the others'.

- But why? - Dad! You'll never understand anything!

She's the only man in the house! That's how they treat you!

Thank God you're here as well now! Here they are!

Gino, tell them what we said to the caretaker.

- But who believes I'm one of your lodgers? - They said we cost too much!

Don't be cheeky, you! I really want to see who sticks their nose in our house.

Good evening!

- What's the matter? - Nothing. Stomach ache.

The ice-cream that I have eaten this morning.

Shall we go out?

- Are you crazy? - What else is there?

- Well... Couldn't we go into the other room? - What? I'm embarrassed!

- Good evening everyone, we're going out! ...Good evening.

- They made up their minds, eh? - They had to.

- They're in the room! - Damn! My stuff!

It'd be better if I got my stuff out of there now...

- When are you going out in the morning? - I start work an hour before her.

So I'll leave the shoes here.

Ah! Talking of which...

Otherwise it'll start again...

Marisa! It's dad's medicine... Aren't you going to sleep?

There's boxing on the telly!

Down with everybody!

I should have told Gigi to find a new room, and kept the old one,

or found another one myself. A boarding house would be better than here.

Right, and 20,000 lire would fly out the window every month.

Well, at least for these first days.

No, this means a little sacrifice, but we're together, and that's what counts.

As we've finished paying the furniture, we'll buy a flat.

And we'll have our honeymoon while we're on holiday from work.

A late honeymoon's really chic, you know? And then there are Sundays.

And Sunday... Wait a minute.

How wonderful...

- Still feel bad? - No, nausea.

- What kind of nausea? - I feel really scared, you know?

- Bloody hell... - Come on, it's not certain.

- You're really scared? - Yes.

- You told your mum? - Are you mad? They think that I...

...well, we got married today... what do you want them to think?

- But if it's true, what will we do? - I don't want to think about it tonight.

Ah, good. I was just about to tell you. A little fresh air.

Ah... what lovely air! But what's that thing there?

- You've never seen it turned on? - Not me!

You'll get used to it. And we got a bargain, they're giving 10% off all their products.

- And when does it turn off? - Never. It goes on and off till daytime.

Luciana? Lilli's here and won't give me any peace, she wants to watch the tv!

I'm really sorry...

Renzo, tomorrow you've got to move the plug to the other room.

...My parents kept the tv here in the room. - Damn, the park's better than this!

- Do me a favour: Stop it! - What do you mean, 'stop it'? I wanted...

...where are you?

I'm here.

You're smaller than an 80 litre fridge... come here.

But don't they annoy you?

Shall we go out?

Where?

To be out late!

Good idea, let's go dancing!

Wonderful! So no-one will realise when we return!

Sleep together will be wonderful!

It's finished?

- Are you alright? - Yes, sort of.

- Don't drink too much, eh? - Come on, it's watered!

See? She's been crying for half an hour.

- Don't watch them, you busybody. - Poor thing.

She's got a problem.

Why don't you think about our problems instead?

- We're so lucky! - You bet! Like a ship in a forest!

- What? You've been drinking! - No, I'm thinking about your nausea.

We said we wouldn't think about it tonight. That's enough, you've had 4, they're 600 lire.

- Come on... - No impromptu flowers, you know?

- We've spent enough. They might have stolen those flowers from the cemetery!

- And don't play the big man, Mr Engineer. - Yes, countess.

Anyway, you'll become a book-keeper. We'll see if you play truant in evening classes.

- Just tonight. - Only tonight.

But no more holidays from tomorrow.

- Let's go home! - Now?

Now! Everyone's sleeping now!

- Damn! - What?

Incredible! What are they up to? - Maybe they left the light on...

They're still watching the tv! I'll phone them, just watch!

What'll you say to them? While they're awake I'm not going up, get it?

I prefer to stay here!

...Well?

Well...

- Come on, behave! - Oh, not even this?

On Sunday we'll get a room by the hour, I'm telling you!

Sunday? Wonderful!

What are you looking at? We're married!

Come off it! Oh, what a great life!

I thought it was you!

- No drill today? - No...

He's not here?

- Who? - The dentist.

Or the person you call "the dentist". - Why, do you think?

I swear I asked to change shifts because I really

had to go to the... - to the dentist.

- So no escapades - No sir, nothing.

You're telling me you don't have a boyfriend, not even a little flirtation?

Well... it wouldn't be bad. My job contract says I can't get married but...

- Exactly... you have a boyfriend. - No.

- No boyfriend? - No, none.

- No little flirtation? - No, no.

- Nothing? - Nothing.

See what a lovely thing I've brought you.

Bravo!

May I present Ferrario the lawyer, Miss Simonetta Rosi.

This young lady is one of our best employees.

- I can see that! - Enrico, don't start.

I vouch for him as a the lawyer, but as for the rest... You can treat him really badly.

Let's have a nice swim!

No, no I've just eaten, and then I was leaving.

Wait a minute, while I refresh myself.

- Fantastic! - Really? Well, good day!

- Young lady? One moment! Where are you running off to?

I've got to go, I've got to call... I've got a date with one of my girfriends.

- Boyfriend? - Girlfriend.

This young lady's hiding something from me... Iook at how you've turned red!

- As I told you, I've got to go because I've...

- You have a car? - No.

- I'll give you a lift. - Thank you, Mr Book-keeper,

you're very kind, but... alright, wait, I'm going to make a call.

Act as if nothing's happened and walk behind me!

- Poor Osvaldo, you're out of luck today. - I'm unlucky, dear!

- You only had to say you had company. - I'm an idiot, alright?

I had the impression he suspected something,

- You've no idea what he's like! - But all he wanted was to have a chat!

So, what shall we do? I haven't found a room nearby.

Not even a hole in the wall! - So where will we go?

Well, we have to find a room in the centre, or we'll stay here.

I leaved the van in the parking lot, if the book-keeper sees it I will be in trouble.

Trouble with the van is all we need.

Alright, I'll go and move it, but let me rest a moment.

Here the book-keeper's bound to see us.

And then I've got to go and say hello to him, get the costume and the towel!

Say hello to him, get your stuff and leave with me.

We're losing our common sense! You can go with whoever you like, just don't get

married and don't get pregnant. - But since I'm married, and probably...

It's seems incredible to end up in front of the personnel manager.

- So tell me, what it should be done now. - I want to go home right now,

and if he wants to give me a lift that'd be fine. In the meantime you go ahead with the van.

Look... you don't want the personnel manager to see you with the errand boy...

You're really stupid, you know? Look! I'll introduce you to the book-keeper.

- Stop rushing! Come on! Wait!! - I'm not waiting for anything, you'll see...

But why are you angry, Luciana? Wait! Maybe you're right!

Look, I'll see you at home!

Miss Luciana!

- Oh, you did it? - Ah! Congratulations!

- Get out of here. - What do you want?!?

- And don't be boring! - But why am I annoying you?!

I told you to leave, so do it!

But you'll see she'll come back soon.

- We never worried about Luciana! - Oh, really?

...as long as nothing has happened...

Something will happen when she gets home, two lovely slaps for sure!

- A 1 '300. You think it's Luciana? - Luciana's never known

anybody with a 1 '300. - She knows someone... damn that light!

Didn't you say that she would come on her own later?

Mum, you're worse than dad, you're always repeating yourself!

Mum, I'm hungry!

- We'll wait for Luciana!! - She's back. I saw her from the window!

- Renzo, where are you going?

- Gino, you tell him... - What?

- Renzo wants to give Luciana a slap! - Alright.

You wanted her to get married, didn't you? So it's right that he can slap her now!

Renzo! Don't make trouble!

- Where are you going? - Out. If not I'd smack you in the face!!

- Luciana!! Come up! - Oh, mum!

Renzo, where are you off to? Stop!

Renzo! You know what happened to me!

He said: 'Come on! Let's go to the lakes! '

I didn't know how to stop him.

Then I had a great idea: I pretended to feel sick,

I writhed about. If not, it would have finished badly!

You and Marisa were right, he's a real... lets go home Renzo!

- One! - Two!

Two.

At least let me see which film it is!

Oh... Vampires! Boring!

- You used to like them. - And now they annoy me!

- You're not jealous, are you?!? - Don't be ridiculous...

Isn't it just great to be alone at home on Sunday...

I had fear... - I was nervous!

...but you know you're an idiot! Jealous of the book-keeper, get away!

So what does this book-keeper want?

I told you... but even if he was Marlon Brando he wouldn't matter to me at all...

Because you're my wolf! - Sure I am...

You know, though I was forced to say I felt sick,

I really did feel sick. - Again?!?

Well... badly no, but not that good either...

But maybe it's not that thing, since I never feel really really sick!

- And how are you now? - Fine.

We did well to come here, at least we're alone for a while.

Pull me up, now the vampire frees itself!!!

How wonderful!

Here's the wolf!!

- How's your health, young lady? - Good, thanks.

I'm glad. I heard you weren't that well.

Actually, I didn't feel well yesterday, but now I...

- And you've never suffered from dizziness? - No...

Could you be expecting?

Meaning that I can tell nothing, but it could be the first month of pregnancy, and so...

- You're saying? - No, young lady, it's you who's got to say it.

So, it's completely impossible?

- I'm not married. - I know, but that doesn't mean...

So, you don't think you could be expecting. - No, no, no! I don't think so.

It's better if you're not. It could be a digestive disturbance. It's been very hot lately.

I want you to come back in 10 days, we'll see if it's worth you visiting one of my colleagues.

As you know, I'm obliged to inform the personnel manager about all pregnancies.

- I know, but as I'm not pregnant... - Agreed, as far as you are so sure.

Come back in 10 days. If everything's alright we'll think about a tonic cure, alright?

I'll write on the report: To be seen again on July 24th. A lot can happen in 10 days.

- Aren't you coming to eat? - I don't feel like it.

- What's up? Why won't you eat? - I'm not hungry. What's wrong with that?

- You've argued again, eh? - No.

- She'll be tired, she won't feel well... - Luciana's always been fine!

And today she doesn't feel well. She was sick in the factory too!

What are all these secrets! If she feels sick, she'll tell us.

Luciana... she's got the idea she's... well, yes...

I don't like this! So it means you're married...

Marisa, go and make a cup of camomile tea for Luciana.

What's camomile tea got to do with it, she says she's pregnant?

What happened, happened. What can we do, go to court?

We're married. And it's not even certain.

Certain or not, it's clear you're a ignorant scoundrel, because now it's goodbye job,

goodbye plans and everything else. - Dad!

Let's wait before getting angry... - Wait for what?

So, may we know how far you're gone?

- If it's true, a month... - Congratulations! I'm not saying anything.

I'm sure you'll lose Luciana's job, with a kid to support.

Of course, if there was something to be done...

My dear child, why didn't you tell me first?

Have you ever tried a hot mustard bath? Or a boiling foot-bath?

We can get some advice from Aunt Armida...

I'm not pregnant, I'm not pregnant!! - Honestly?

We were scared for no reason. Everything's alright!

We'll be really careful from now on.

Well done darling, I'm really happy!

Leave me alone, idiot! Go away!

- Come with me! - And them?

I said come with me. You too.

Listen, Mr Book-keeper, I was joking!

We don't know each other, get it? What does it matter if they fire you?

Better to lose your wages than mine. And then they must give you a leaving-bonus!

Please take a seat, young lady.

So, it was the first time he harassed you.

Yes, I had hardly ever seen him!

I told you Mr Book-keeper, I was joking, indeed... a mistake.

- I was there getting the boxes and... - Shut up! You're fired without notice!

...So fire me. - Listen, if you fire him without notice I resign!

...Because I don't think it's fair. - What? Do you?

He was wrong to play a joke, but the last thing I want

is to cause such harm!

- He might have a family... - Young lady, you are too kind.

You'll have your bonus money, but you'll never set foot in here again, get it?

Now you can go and thank the young lady for being so generous. Out, out!

Out!

And you didn't want him to be fired?

If it was up to me he'd never find another job, the lout.

He'd learn to keep his hands to himself. I'll write his references!

- Renzo! - Where are you going?!?

Renzo, come here!

I'm bored. I can't go on taking this poison every day.

Come here you!

You know what I'm going to say Mr Book-keeper? This lout

is my husband, so now you can fire me as well.

We could stay spinsters to keep you company at swimming pools on Sundays!

We'll both be unemployed, but with two leaving-bonuses...

We'll get a foot on the housing ladder,

and we'll buy the fridge as well! - Well, there's plenty of time for the fridge...

- Get out of here! - With pleasure!

A little courage is all it takes!

When I realised that with the money from the two bonuses we could get a home,

I could have fainted for joy! How wonderful!

You'll see, it'll all be fine.

Hey, you!

- Oh, it's you. - Beppe!!

I thought it was you! Did I see you here yesterday morning?

I live near here now. I'm in the new co-operative housing.

- Ah, nice houses! - Well, a bit far from work.

I'm not at the biscuit factory any more. I'm a nightwatchman. 6,000 more, you know?

Lucky you! But how do you sleep in the day?

It's not for life! I'll take the book-keeping diploma within a year!

- And your wife? - The distance from work's a lot for her too.

I go to bed, my wife gets up. - Means she keeps the bed warm for you!

- Kids? - It's still early days!

- We've got to pay for the house and stuff. - You're right. It's gone really well for you.

- Well, yes it has! Ciao, then? - Ciao

- Raining? - Not now.

They've already turned it on, wonderful!

You found out nothing about the course?

I went to the school last night, but it's hopeless.

Morning lessons start at 8, and who can start then?

- The afternoons? - They start too late.

- So you'll miss the year. - Well, I hope not. I'll to study on my own

and then I could have private lessons. - It's important, love.

I know, I know.

- It's gone so well so far. We're so lucky. In two years the loans will be sorted.

23 months. I did the calculation... - Give it to me, please!

Did you calculate the installments for the cooker?

Yes.

If we don't go on holiday this year we'll pay it off in 20 months.

- Don't we want to go to Venice? - Venice won't go away!

Are you mad? Do you know the time?

I'll make you late!

What's open? I feel a draught!

Nothing, I just aired the room! I'll close it now.

Sunday... we'll spend all of Sunday in bed. How wonderful!

See you this evening!

Wait a minute! Wait!

I really like Rome, folks!

It's great here, it's a pleasure to work here, what fun it is!

Be quiet, they're shooting a film!

This happens everyday in Rome, everywhere.

Hercules!

I'll deal with him!

They put everything into these cigarettes!

- Take her, I can't carry her! - Don't worry, miss.

If I weren't around to keep everyone happy, it'd be...

a disaster here.

Only one man's not happy with me.

Here he is.

This is a better shot.

You know what he does almost every night?

You should be ashamed of yourselves!

Get married before doing these things!

Follow the elephants' example,

when they mate they go and hide in the jungle!

You filthy rascals!

You dirty beasts!

Turn that light off!

You perverts!

- Here he is again. - Don't get out, sir.

No, I have to speak to him.

Why do you always come here?

- You're asking me?! - Shame on you!

You should be ashamed!

This is a public place, people come here to walk!

This is Rome, the cradle of civilization!

I thought this was Tokyo!

You're turning it into a brothel!

How gross! You should behave like men and not beasts on heat!

Go away!

I'm going, I'm going! But you haven't heard the last of me!

Officer, those two are getting away!

Can't they see I'm doing it for their own good?

I order you to close the curtain!

Go home, spend your money in a better way

instead of seeing this filth!

He really is crazy, isn't he?

Now I'll show you what he did last year!

There was a Swiss amateur photographer that caught the whole scene on film.

This is where our story begins.

One fine day, Mr. Mazzuolo...

Can you make a donation for prisoners? Thanks.

- Good morning, sir. - Good work, Mazzuolo.

Get a move on.

I've had a stitch for three days. Could it be the radioactivity?

- Thanks for your help. - Cover yourself, madam!

See you on Saturday... and Monday.

Really!

What a disgrace!

Filth shouldn't be displayed in public, or be for sale!

Dear Mazzuolo, what's going wrong?

Look how bad things have got! Women in all sort of positions!

The trouble is that everyone can bring them home.

Young people, children...

- Calm down! - You've got a nerve!

Good work, Mazzuolo! I fully agree with you!

Give me 1,000 liras.

I already did this at another news-stand!

This is how I calm down!

One doesn't know what to do anymore to stop this tide drawing nearer!

I finished that essay, I called it "Filth in art."

Let me read it, I'll publish it right away.

The boys are ready for the prize-giving ceremony.

Excuse me, I must go!

You have my support, you're an exemplary citizen.

Try and speak properly, you mumble. You call yourself a boy scout?

A special mention for the scout that saved a woman who fell while climbing.

A Baden Powell certificate goes to the scout that caught a badger

that caused damage to the camp's corn supplies.

A silver medal goes to the scout that set a new record

in the "Silent Night" competition.

The dangers you face up to are very serious...

but there's an even bigger danger that is insidious and treacherous.

You are wondering what this danger is.

There was a very important episode in my life of which I'm the protagonist.

- The what? - The Protagonist!

In 1913, I was 15 years old,

and I was one of the first boy scouts in Italy.

I had a very good friend then,

he died in China last year.

One summer, I was a guest at his aunt's house.

Nature had provided this woman only with materialistic gifts.

One muggy afternoon, she decided to have a rest in our room.

My good friend's wretched relative,

thought I was sleeping, so she began to undress.

But I wasn't sleeping.

A demon appeared before my eyes.

I closed my eyes...

Behave yourselves!

Stay in line! Stay in line!

Over this way, over here!

Go on, go on. Over here. More, more. Over here...

Can you get out of the way?

We are ready!

Stop! Easy now. Down, go on!

- Hey, what are you looking out?? - I'm going, I'm going!

Excuse him Reverend!

Is it for a film? - No, it's milk.

"DRINK"

"MILK"

Turn on now!

Excuse me, can you be quiet?

Let's play our song!

Who's in charge here? I'll turn back to Milan

"Drink more milk!"

Hurrah for Anita Ekberg!

- Come away from here. - Ok, ok!

- Is that billboard staying there? - I don't understand.

This is a public place. Children and elderly people come here...

Where do you want to put it? In the cellar?

- I realise you have orders to follow. - I'm working.

Come on, stop it!

Take the boys away, now!

Forward march!

- Ehi, you, come here! - Me?

I need to talk to you.

I've already asked one of your men, are you in charge?

I understand you have your duty to do.

But you also have moral duties, that billboard is clearly obscene.

It's obvious when you look at it.

- What's wrong with it? - The pose, the dress, everything.

I know we are all men and we are aware of certain things...

her pose is so obviously erotic, sensual... it's a disgrace!

I live there and you're putting that up right in front of my windows.

It's all above board, we got authorization.

You are being an accomplice in this very serious matter.

You must do something! Cover her up!

If it's more work for you, then I'll pay for it.

But if we cover her up a bit, her beauty will be hidden.

You consider her beautiful?

How can you call that filth?!

Foreman, workmen! Are you leaving?

Listen to me, this is an order!

You can't leave that like that!

Stop!

My complaint has already been reported.

The authorization can be withdrawn with your help.

There's a lot of filth in private, do we want to make it public?

Do we want to build monuments to sex? Triumphal arches for whores?

Forgive me, sir.

What position is the model in?

A filthy one, believe me! Really filthy!

If you'll allow me to, I'll show you the pose.

She's lying down...

with her legs together and...

I'll be there tomorrow.

Sorry, maybe I'm overdoing it but I'm trying to describe the indescribable.

The neck-line is way too low...

With the her motherly attributes bared to the sun!

I swear on my honour, I'm not kidding.

Look, it's like this.

- And her legs? - They're naked and huge!

I live in a flat which has five windows.

Just think that only the legs take up all the windows.

What about her expression? Is it disturbing or provocative?

We need to describe all the details.

- In what way is she tempting? - She has a wild look about her.

They are several types of tempting expressions.

There's appetizing allure...

like the American style, used to advertise products like...

flowers, sandwiches, aperitifs and drinks.

That is often a very innocent kind.

Then there's the French style allure, which is disheartening.

In this kind, the product... have a seat.

The product is advertised in a sly way.

It says one thing, but we realize that it actually refers to something else.

Or the advert shows us the product which is to be enjoyed...

but the picture hints at a different kind of enjoyment.

Then, there's the Turkish sort of allure.

Look at this wretched Stella Orionis.

Here she is in a typical oriental situation.

Here, woman falls down to the lowest level of animality.

- Who's taken the other one? - You took them home...

Like animals, believe me.

Yes, but my case goes beyond that.

This is an offence to the most sacred function of maternity: Breastfeeding.

Not even animals do that. That billboard must be banned!

Each passing hour augments the damage to morality.

My friend, if only I could... but I'm surrounded by cowards.

But one step at a time...

...what matters is that they agree in Milan.

Thank you for being so bold in bringing this to our attention.

- Do you still need us? - No, you can go.

See Mr. Mazzuolo out.

Drink more milk. Milk is good for you.

Milk is good for you, whatever your age!

Drink more milk, it's an Italian product.

It's the best remedy for all ages.

Days go by, weeks go by... but the scandal continues.

That obscene billboard continues to spread poison,

which is more harmful than radioactive fall-out.

From my window, I can see the passers-by that are shocked.

They stop in front of the billboard as if they are about to faint.

And so, they interrupt their healthy and regenerating walk

and the rhythm of their daily routine.

For this reason, I say this must stop!

Excuse me.

Ehi, sacristy!

Can you tell the Monsignor that Mr. Mazzuolo is here?

The Monsignor is resting, the secretary can help you.

Here it is. I make no comment.

Just look at how disgraceful it is.

Observe her dress and her pose.

Look at the people...

There aren't many people here now, but there usually are, of all ages.

It's a pity that the Monsignor wasn't able to come,

but you can report this to him.

When you report this to him, he will take drastic action.

We already know about this image.

Good.

So, what are you going to...

And this is what they call the Italian Summer?

Who do you want? Me, her or that one up there?

All those who are honest, all those who are pure,

all those who love moral integrity,

and the dignity of human values, are on our side!

We'll shout "Shame on you!"

In a few days' time,

that awful billboard, that horrendous enchantress,

as in the days of the golden calf,

has gathered around itself all the corruption of this city.

I'm confronted with a terrible sight. What an orgy of obscenity.

Babylon, watch out for the rain of fire!

I'm defending the integrity of the family!

I'm defending moral values!

I'll cause a scandal!

I want the guards!

Arrest me!

I'm ordering you to arrest me! This will end up in the papers!

An honest man prefers jail to this corrupt freedom!

Watch out downstairs!

- Why did they cover it up? - We did it.

- Mr. Mazzuolo wanted it covered up. - Why?

- It was photographic. - Pornographic, you idiot!

It was the right thing to do.

Things would be much better, if there were a thousand men like you in Italy.

I had another vision last night.

There was a rose and a little voice was saying,

"Donatella, be good, be good..."

Go away, the show's over!

Thank you!

Where did you learn how to sing?

Let me tell you a secret, even if Antonio will get angry.

My dear brother was the one who made me love singing and art.

If only you could hear how he sings.

Please.

- Come on! - Just one song!

You really want me to torment you? All right, then.

- I'll turn the pages. - Thanks, but I know it all by heart.

What a brain! All by heart!

He has a very delicate touch.

Let's forget it.

Sing!

Come on, don't deny us this joyful moment which only art can give us!

I agree and I notice Mazzuolo's bashfulness,

which proves his kind-heartedness.

- What's the matter? - What is it?

Don't worry, Antonio, you're fine.

It must just be a little nervous breakdown. Nothing else.

In what position was the person on the billboard?

Blessed Sister Dorotea...

Go to the window.

Look at the billboard!

What can you see?

- The water has uncovered it. - Isn't she doing this?

Why should she be like that? It's the same as it was.

Go to bed!

Who is it?

Who's there?

Antonio, there's no one here.

Fear is made from nothing.

If you have a clear conscience, you needn't be scared.

Who are you? Semiramis, Cleopatra or Taide?

Poisonous evil spirit, whoever you are, be gone!

Sink into the abyss of sin! Go away! I order you to go!

All right, Antonio, don't get angry. I'll go.

At last, I've managed to banish you from the world of the righteous!

I really ought to go home now.

You joker, you're tickling me.

Why are you so scared of me, Mr. Mazzuolo?

Get back on your billboard!

I'm alive!

What a wonderful night!

Come with me, mister!

Wake up everyone!

How can you sleep on a night like this?

What a lovely smell!

Come here, mister.

Let's have a chat.

Why are you so nasty to me?

It's not nice to throw ink on my face.

What did I do wrong?

If so many honest people are led astray,

if there's so much evil in our world which is in need of faith and hope,

you are to blame!

Did I annoy someone?

I was there like a cloud. How can a cloud bother you?

Even a cloud can become a shape that I don't want to describe!

Stop!

Who'll be able to stop that monster?

Two millions souls will be corrupted, if she goes into town!

Wait! Stop!

Help!

Does it bother you that you're so small?

What must I do to rid the world of your presence?

Poor little thing, poor little insect!

Let me speak to you like a friend.

Where are you?

Ah, there you are! Come here!

What do you want from me?

Don't run away, come here. I won't hurt you.

I'll just caress you.

I get it, you want to play games.

You're so warm.

Put me down!

Relax, I won't hurt you.

- Please, I'm scared of heights. - I'm going to eat you.

Not really... I was joking!

I can't die in this way!

You're horrible!

- I want to get down! - What a cute little moustache!

You're screaming like a baby, shame on you!

I feel awful, what an embarrassing place to die!

Don't worry, you're here close to my heart.

- I don't want to be here! - Listen to me.

Where's the umbrella?

- Where are you putting your hands? - Can't I look for my umbrella?

It's not raining now, you know?

Mr. Mazzuolo likes touching!

Watch your mouth, you don't know who I am. You're compromising me!

This wicked perfume is going to my head. It makes me feel terrible.

I feel great... Aunt Irene... my dear auntie...

I loved you so much.

No, you witch!

All right, I'll put you down.

- You're so unpleasant! - You're leaving me here?

All you do is say nasty words, you're rude!

- I wanted to be your friend... - I want to get down!

All right!

Thanks.

What a nerve! You take advantage because you're so big.

Look who's behind you!

Here I am.

Come on, let's make up.

- Don't touch me. - Give me a kiss.

I never give kisses.

What a strange this to ask for.

Did I make you angry?

I'd like to believe that there is still some good in you.

That maybe you're not completely lost. I hope...

I could help you come out of the filth.

- Filth? - Yes, I can help you.

I'm willing to help you.

I'm willing to dedicate my life to your redemption.

You need me.

It'll be wonderful, like brother and sister.

Do you turn down salvation?

Stay with me, forever.

How much do you want?

I'll give you whatever you want.

You're so beautiful.

Don't be nasty, stay with me.

- Forever? - Yes, forever.

How boring.

But if you like... I could do a week...

Oh God, what have I done?

You belong in jail!

Police! Vice squad!

- You're hurting me! - Yes, I want to hurt you!

Really?

Sodom and Gomorrah!

I'm fed up with you!

You're the one with the distorted vision. I feel really sorry for you!

I'm the whore?!

I'm going to undress here.

Isn't this what you wanted?

Let's start now.

Look at my naked arms.

I can hold a hundred thousand men tightly in this way.

When I move my hips, convents shake.

When I move my eyes in a certain way,

I feel great pleasure in my back.

A pleasure as great as death.

Take back your filthy clothes!

I can confess to you now.

Yes, I am the devil!

I've come to take you away!

You won't be able to get me.

No one can stop me now!

Where are you? Help me get completely undressed!

You won't force me to touch unclean flesh! I don't want to look!

Don't look!

Why can't they look?

Get out of the cinema! Take away the women and children!

- Don't look! - Let them look!

Damn you!

Don't look!

Leave them alone!

- What do I have to do? - Shame on you!

What big underpants you've got! Are they your grandpa's?

Help!

Let's end this. You go back to your billboard and I'll go home.

I'm going to undress now.

No, don't do it!

I won't allow you to!

What's wrong with looking at a naked woman?

Stop! Before it's too late!

The moment has come.

You'll never forget what you're about to see.

Look.

I'll banish you from the world, you demon!

Never, never...

Give yourself up!

My darling!

Death is life, when death purifies.

- Long live Mazzuolo. - Long live Mazzuolo the liberator.

I'm really pleased you're dead.

Well done!

Thank you on behalf of all the mothers.

The true Mr. Mazzuolo breaks free from his chains.

Long live Mazzuolo...

It's the final act,

the end of this miserable story about sex and corruption.

Lower that wretched corpse down and close it in its grave.

She will be buried in a secret place and no one will bring her flowers.

Stop.

Don't take her away from me! She's mine!

No one will touch you! Don't touch her!

I killed her!

I don't want you to take her away! She must stay here!

My beautiful Anita, you'll stay with me forever!

Go away, all of you!

Here is the siring.

- Is it a full dose? - Yes, it's double.

The doctor's here, calm down! Everything will be fine.

He's been here all night. Careful, he bites.

- How did he get up there? - Dunno.

Ready? We're lowering him.

You haven't strapped him up well. Careful!

Attention at the light!

Drink more milk!

Come on now, out of the way!

Michelangelo! Good dog!

Welcome back, my lord

What are you trying to tell me?

Antonio, what is this on Michelangelo's head?

Just a scratch, my lord. I put some ointment on it

Poor Michelangelo! We'll take a look at it later. Get up now, let me pass

- Antonio... - Yes, my lord?

- Has the lawyer gone? - No, sir, he's still waiting

What a bore!

Look at all these telegrams!

Will you be needing me again, my lord?

No, you can go

This must stop, they've gone too far

When the press take this kind of attitude

We can't go on ignoring

Ottavio! At last! Welcome back. How are you?

I thought it was advisable to consult a few colleagues

Professor Verardelli...

Mr. Simone... and my most valuable assistant

the shrewd, perceptive, indispensable Mr. Alcamo

Pleased to meet you

The situation is so serious, I felt their opinion would

Who is that?

Why, he's one of the top lawyers in Milan!

Here are today's papers, sorted according to political stripe

- You saw them, I hope? - Yes, on the plane

Here are the French ones. All tripe!

Hardly, if I felt it necessary

Turn the lights on in the library, please

Where were you? I tried to reach you in London, Paris...

Where on earth have you been?

I'll tell you later

Professor, would you step into the library, please?

You too, Mr. Simone. And you, Mr. Alcamo, come along

We haven't decided on a line of action yet

but we were thinking about...

Mr. Alcamo! We're in the library

As I was saying, this is no easy case

It's lucky you called in the end, or what could we do?

Did you call because you heard I was looking for you?

No, because I needed money. Would you please instruct the

- I'll tell you later - Whenever you like

"We're just good friends" says Count Lech

This rag here... The pigs!

You've only seen yesterday's papers. I thought as much!

If you'd bothered to glance at this morning's

you'd have seen they carry the story on the front page

See for yourself, Professor. We're the news of the day

I filed a libel suit at once, of course

after consulting with Professor Verardelli

and Mr. Alcamo

but, in the circumstances, with no power to bring evidence

That was the worst thing you could have done

If there was ever a time to buy the press off, that was now

What a thing to say!

We were negotiating, but after the police raid

the press got hold of the story and things came to a head

And of course the price went sky-high

Could I be responsible for negotiating a sum like that?

- Do you want to know how much? - I don't want to know anything!

You could have asked my wife for the money!

Talk sense! Your wife?!

Sure, why not?

Oh yes, just like that. Where is your wife anyway?

How should I know? Where is my wife?

That's what I'd like to know. Your wife's vanished

Vanished?

- There, see - See what?

You don't realize how serious the situation is

Wait a minute... Your wife went out yesterday afternoon

to go to the hairdresser's. She never came back

Her father has called four times

to ask her to join him in Burgenstock at once

But she hasn't arrived in Switzerland yet

In fact, I can assure you beyond a shadow of doubt

that your wife hasn't crossed the border

by car, by rail or by air

Understandably, in view of my concern

on the advice of the Professor and Mr. Alcamo

I thought it best to call the police

As a matter of fact, we actually went

to Police Headquarters ourselves

where the inspector, a real gentleman, wasn't he?

He was very kind and...

Speaking of which, we were supposed to call him

Why do you have to ask him where my wife is?

Ask Antonio, ask Franz!

Antonio and Franz! Whatever next!

You don't realize how serious the situation is

I do realize! And I thought you were a genius, whereas...

Hello, Police Headquarters? This is Mr. Zacchi

Put me on to Chief Inspector Pizzi, please

He's out? But we had an appointment!

Tell him I'll call again

"The flames of young Count Lech"

Ottavio, calm down. Don't be so childish

Leave the domestics out of it

We have to stop the scandal, not spread it around

I'll ask Antonio to bring us a drink then

But if you had worried less about my wife

and more about keeping the press quiet...

I worried about your wife for reasons you should understand

Out of humanity, for one thing

- You called, sir? - I've been calling for an hour!

Go and ask the gentlemen if they would like a drink

your wife is young and foreign

She may be distraught by the scandal...

My lord? Right away, my lord

Move!

Because let's face it, it is a scandal

- You should have prevented it - How?

I'll try to save you from the consequences on all sides

- Including the tax man - The tax man my hat!

You're not being sensible!

- Would you like a drink? - No, thank you

I'll have some coffee

Franz, coffee! And a Martini for me

Cocktails, huh?

I'll have plain water with lots of ice

We need that here... ice

Listen, if we thought it was essential

Don't raise your voice, please

Let's have no arguments, no digressions

If we thought it was essential for your wife to be here

it was for a good reason, as the professor will agree

Oh, I quite agree, Mr. Zacchi

Mr. Alcamo and Mr. Simone? We all agree

A gesture by your wife would have made an impression

Her sympathy, her support, her...

But what do we have? Nothing!

You know your father-in-law has frozen all your bank accounts?

Yessir, yesterday morning. It's within his power

due to that unfortunate minor detail whereby the property

is all in your wife's name in Switzerland. - We did it for tax purposes. So?

So we're in your father-in-law's hands

That's fine provided we all get on well together

But if there's talk of a divorce, it's a...

It's a disaster

Not that you can really blame your father-in-law

If you will get mixed up with expensive call-girls

it's the least you can expect

But apart from the money, I can shrug at his moral concern

What worries me is your wife's attitude

She probably doesn't want to help you if she's gone

What is it?

Her ladyship is in her room

In her room? Since when?

She came back just after his lordship. When she heard

the gentlemen were here, she didn't want to disturb you

- Go on, Zacchi, call the police - You can laugh!

Ask them for information

Now where are you going?

To see my wife

You want me to talk to her, don't you?

Yes, that's right

You know what to say

Expect her to be hurt and miserable, but you work on her

We need a statement for the press

Money, if we have to move in the jungle!

She must make a supportive statement

Gentlemen, I'll do my best

Ottavio, there's one more thing...

Every one of those girls named you to the police

Are you sure?

Well, it's not surprising. My advice is, deny everything

Or admit the absolute minimum if there's no alternative

But be careful, a wife is always... you know what I mean

We'll wait in the library and hope for the best

- Ottavio! Easy now... - Go away!

Just a minute, dear

Where have you been?

I was getting worried

Answer me

You've seen the papers, huh?

What?

More lies than anything, you know

I'm sorry for your father, he takes everything seriously

Yes, he does... He really does

What really gets me is the tone of these articles

They sound like something out of "The Merry Widow". Filth!

Well, Pupe?

What's the matter with you?

Nothing. I want you to listen to something, then we'll talk

I'm too tense to listen to music right now

It's not music. Wait a minute...

You still haven't told me where you've been

They looked for you everywhere, even the police

I went around... I saw a lot of things...

I thought... I made some important decisions...

I stood and gazed at a wall for a long time

A big white wall... all white...

It was there that...

Listen...

"I love you, oh cypress tree"

"for your melancholy is like me"

- What's that? - A poem, stupid

I wrote it. Do you like it?

Say you like it... I love it

Maybe I didn't hear it right

"I love you, oh cypress tree, for your melacholy is like me"

The idea is good but it sounds wrong somehow

You don't know Italian well enough to write poetry

I don't think you can say "your melancholy is like me"

Why not? It's a poem

So what? Grammar has rules

- What is the rule then? - I don't know

I can't remember, but it's wrong!

What a time to pick anyway!

Write it in German, it'll turn out better

It won't. German is my language but I never studied it

I went to school in France and England

Write in French or English then

But my Italian's much better. Anyway, it came to me like that

Poetry has to do with inspiration

- That poem sounds wrong - You mean it's ugly?

I have no talent? I'd better stop? I'll stop then

I'm very sorry because it's so important for me, for you...

It sounds wrong to me, but I'm no expert

I know. You're only an expert in... call-girls

Come on, I told you there's no truth in what the papers say

Almost no truth

My lawyers will deny everything

What little truth there is unimportant

You're too smart not to know how to rate these things

The rate is exactly what I didn't know until today

The money, you mean? Surely you don't think

I don't think, I know. The girls told me

What?

I was with them all afternoon yesterday

First Mirella, then Lilli...

They're all out on bail

I made the most of it. I wanted to get the picture

I spoke to the organizer too... Imola

That's her name, isn't it?

- How could you? - What's so strange?

The phone... go on!

- What? - It's your father

Tell him I'll be right there

Antonio, ask my father-in-law to wait a second

Yes, put him on... Oh, Antonio, I'm a bit hungry

Yes, of course, for his lordship too

Tell him it's all a political ploy

I can't hear!

Why have the accounts been frozen?

You wanted to speak to him? I'm sorry.

I wanted to know why he instructed...

Daddy sends his love

It's Antonio. Your visitors are waiting, what should they do?

They're to wait. Thank you, Antonio

They're my lawyers. Your father has to know

there's a lot of trouble here!

Don't ask Daddy for money. He's furious with you

You have a good time at my expense

Who's having a good time?

And when have we ever quibbled about what's yours and mine?

Have I ever said this house is mine? The estate is mine?

No, since they don't yield a cent

Let's sell them then! You want the house and the estate

Isn't that why we got married?

But there's no point in talking about it

I wouldn't give a dime for this stuff now

I told you, I made some very important decisions

Either we separate, which is what Daddy would like...

Oh, so that's what your darling daddy wants?

Well, you know...

Daddy was happy we got married because of the prestige

but he never liked you much

He doesn't believe you're tormented

He thinks you're just stupid and crude

Does he now? That's nice to know

Would you like to hear what I think of him?

- Don't bother, I know - That's good

There's no help for it. Daddy's a blunt, simple man

You can't blame him for that

To him, anyone who spends 700 dollars to sleep with a girl

does it to have a good time, not because he's bored

You should know me better than to think that

Listen, I'll tell you how it all started

It was all for old Imola's sake

She was about 30 when I was a kid

You could say we all started out there

Alberico... Giorgio... me...

Then the years went by and Imola vanished

One day we heard she was back in business again

and we felt the urge to look her up

Like, you know, going into the loft

to look at the toys you played with as a kid

And the girls? How do they come into it?

I told you, we wanted to give old Imola a gift

Big deal! You gave her 700 dollars

and she gave 400 to the girls

You could have given Imola 300 dollars

and saved the other 400, since the girls meant nothing to you

I doubt that though, seeing as you benefited them eleven times

Still, they're pretty girls. Especially... Lilli

You admit it then? You liked her?

What is this, Pupe? Don't say you're jealous?

Are you crazy? We're both free to go with whoever we want

That was what we agreed

The marriage is between you and Daddy

He's the one who's angry

- Yes, what is it? - Your dinner, ma'am

Come in, Antonio!

Put everything on there

Franz, the champagne

You didn't say what you wanted, ma'am, so I...

- That's fine, Antonio - Thank you, ma'am

- Mr. Zacchi is... - Okay, okay, I know

Bear with me, honey...

Zacchi's still waiting

The lawyers feel that if you make a statement to the press

The lawyers, you say?

Let them state what they like, I'm not interested

Isn't that what we pay them for?

Antonio, Franz, please take the cats downstairs

feed them and get their baskets ready

I may leave tonight, so I'll take them with me

- You're hungry? - No!

- Franz, the cats - Yes, the cats!

Must you get the cats right now?

Of course. It won't take a minute

The lawyers are still waiting. What are you going to do?

You're talking about leaving... a separation...

The lawyers want a statement of moral and tangible support

I mentioned a separation

because you may not appreciate my plans for the future

Your call-girls forced me to think things over

Think what over, Pupe?

I want to get a job

The phone! Hurry, darling

My hands are full, I can't get it

Hello? Yes... For you, my lord... Mr. Zacchi!

Sorry, Zacchi. Yes, I'll be right with you

My wife? You've no idea how understanding she's been

Yes, yes... She has agreed... in principle

to issuing a statement

Yes, she's been wonderful! Yes, of course...

Hello... hello?

Excuse me, Zacchi, there's a long-distance call

Your father again, from Burgenstock!

Put him on

Now what does he want?

We made a bet. 100,000 dollars!

Daddy thinks I'm not capable of earning a living

Oh no, he wet me!

Franz, take the cat... and see to the others too

Yes, I'll have to start from scratch

as if I owned nothing but this dress

Well, a clean one maybe.

How about you?

Don't you think it would be fun to start working?

What fun is there in that?

The notion that work isn't boring went out with the ark

Ask Antonio...

Yes, sir?

You're bored, aren't you?

But surely you're not terribly bored?

I mean, you're not bored to distraction?

You have some little worries, like, say...

Oh yes, our pay! You promised me...

All in good time! You may go, Antonio

Did you have to ask him? I can judge for myself!

Sure, since when?

And even if Antonio is bored

he won't end up in the gossip columns like you!

What nonsense!

If Antonio has it off with a woman in the park

and then gives her two dollars, nobody cares

They certainly don't turn it into headline news

on the front page! Whereas the very same thing...

It's not the same, dear

The difference is if Antonio, after a day's work, goes and...

Oh, you don't understand. And don't think you can put me off

I'll start working, that's definite

I'd like to write, but at some future time

There are so many other jobs that have more to offer

Not the phone again!

Yes, what is it?

Oh, it's you, Mr. Zacchi! Where are you calling from?

You're still waiting, poor man?

Professor who? How kind of him!

He must be starving!

Yes, of course, I already told Ottavio

Do as you think best about those statements

Call my maid, please

No, not a denial, we'd look ridiculous. It's all true!

I'm surprised at you

Your lawyers say the papers printed lies

They want you to believe that because they think you're upset

Mr. Zacchi, do you really think

I have a middle-class outlook?

Even middle-class women are more open-minded these days

Yes, they are. People read, they go to the movies

Everybody does exactly the same things

Aristocrats, intellectuals, teen-agers...

I agree with Ottavio there

This is no scandal, this is just a banal little thing

I told my father that too

What did you say?

Yes, don't worry, the accounts have been unfrozen

Daddy knows quite well

this is one time Ottavio won't do anything rash

Pay what has to be paid, and that's that

Erminia, would you run my bath, please?

Hello, Mr. Zacchi? I warn you

you'll have to ask Ottavio for money now

I won't withdraw another penny

I've stopped living on an income... Yes, that's right

I'm going to work

Starting tomorrow, and I'm very happy

No, don't say that. Do you ever get bored?

But... not to distraction?

There, see!

No, believe me, it's because you work

Excuse me a minute...

Erminia, take the phone, would you?

Are you still there?

I'm sorry, I have so much to do

Believe me, I gave it a lot of thought

No, don't say that, it's not a sudden decision

No, I couldn't say... We'll probably split up

I'll try to explain by telling you what I said to someone

yesterday afternoon, while I was trying to work things out

Yes, a street vendor I stopped to talk to on my walk

Then you try to explain it to my husband

Where is my husband? Right here

I don't know how to make him understand these moods of mine

Right away, hold on

Zacchi asks you to go to him in the library

Yes... of course not!

Don't think that when I got married

I had any illusions of being able to communicate

I knew quite well I would be horribly lonely

I only married my husband so our property could marry

I respect money so much that I've decided to earn it!

I want to become an ordinary woman

with a concrete job and a lot of real worries, like yours

Yes... a physical attraction

is not enough to make a marriage

It comes... and then it goes

Goodbye, Mr. Zacchi

Take care of everything and keep me informed

or I'll be completely in the dark

I won't even have the money to buy a newspaper now

It's all taken care of the family side, anyway!

Which is important, isn't it?

The family is a masterpiece of nature, as Saint lala said

- Who said? - I'll tell you later

Would you mind signing this power of attorney?

Then as a reward I'll tell you who Saint lala was

Excellent, thank you

Thank goodness, that's settled

Are you sure the bank accounts have been unfrozen?

Mr. Alcamo! We're still here

I'm sure, Pupe told me

If you'd told me, I'd be worried. Because as a lawyer

you're worth...

She said some strange things... What's this about working?

A sudden whim?

Not that I disapprove, it could make quite an impression

I'll mention it at the press conference, it'll help you

Stick close to your wife. She says it doesn't matter, but...

I think it'll help if you're seen around a lot together

Don't you agree?

Go everywhere! The opera, the theatre...

- Goodbye - You've been invaluable

Well done, dear Ottavio

He's a good lad really, don't you think?

- Done everything? - He just wanted a signature

I wanted to thank you. You've been very kind, as usual

Yes, I know

Just one thing...

I'm drying myself, give me a hand!

What is it?

Listen, there's just one thing I didn't like

You told Zacchi ours was a marriage of convenience

but I wouldn't have married you

if I hadn't liked you, not even if you'd been a Rockefeller

That's nice to know. A Rockefeller!

Starting tomorrow I'll be a typist! No, not that

I can't type. I'd better do something else

Maybe I'll be a stewardess

Are you busy tonight?

No, not that, it's dangerous

Like to go out?

Planes crash, I'd be crazy to do that

- Let's go to the Rock - No, I'm going out

- On your own? - Yes

Oh, okay! May I ask where you're going?

I have to call in at La Scala

- How come? - To see Valli

But it's nothing you'd be interested in, sweetheart

It's about my plans for a job

What has Valli got to do with your job?

He promised to introduce me to Gianni

You want to model for him? Why not start your own business?

That takes a lot of money and I have none

The belt, Erminia

Sorry then, I get the message. I'll go out on my own

I'll go to the club

Have a good time!

Brush and hat, Erminia!

My jewellery!

Stole and purse, please

Tidy up and turn the lights out, I'll be back very late

Good night, ma'am

Clear the table in my room, Antonio

Good night, dear

Franz, please ask Mario to get the car out

The Jaguar, ma'am?

No, the Fiat. I want to drive

Right away, ma'am

I thought you were going out?

No, I want to read for a while

There's no light here

- Forgotten something? - It's all wrong

This outfit, can't you see? Just look at it!

What's wrong with it?

It's too chic for someone who's looking for a job

What would you wear?

You're going to La Scala, aren't you?

But I'm not going to see an opera!

When did you ever go just to see an opera?

Listen, Pupe... I'll give you a hand

- I don't trust you - I have very good taste

Well? What do you think I should wear? Tell me

Go just as you are, you look wonderful

You're very pretty, honestly

That's the main essential when it comes to finding a job

There, see, you don't understand!

You judge by the same yardstick you use with

Speaking of which, I'd like to know one thing

Say when you went to see dear old Imola

I had been there with the other girls

who would you have picked?

Careful... you must tell the truth

I'd have picked you

Well, well... I'm glad

Can you picture it? Me there, and you...

I'm going to die laughing!

- Are they going out or not? - My guess is, not any more

Lay off the champagne!

Turn the lights out and close the shutters

I'll just make a call

You're always on the phone!

Hello, Gina? Can you hear me?

I can't make it

They were going out but they changed their mind

Come on, hurry it up!

Yes, I know, but I can't

Tomorrow night? Yes, okay

I'll take you to the movies

Yes, sure... All right...

What do you want?

That's not a kiss, you're cheating

You're so funny! Do you know what I was thinking?

How often have we been to bed together

since we were married?

I don't know, what a question!

It's already 13 months. If we say an average of...

Hold on...

- At least 150 - 150 what?

Us two, together

At what your girls charge, you know what you owe me?

Sixty thousand dollars!

I can buy a penthouse and open a boutique

You're nuts!

You said you would have picked me

I calculated the flat rate

I mean 400 dollars, without Imola's commission

No, no, too easy

I don't want to make any mistakes

I'd better not go tonight

I don't trust Valli anyway. And you're right about Gianni

Yes, a boutique is better

Or antiques. Everybody does it

It's easy. Or an art gallery. Yes, just the thing!

What's that? New?

Chanel... It's ever so old, I've had it a month

- Never seen it before - You don't look at me

You may be right, but I can see you now

- No, none of that... - I feel like it

- Just a physical urge? - That's right

You know what then? Go to Imola's girls

That's what they're for. It's their job

- But I want you! - Do you? Pay me then

- 400 or 700? - 400 dollars!

Are you on? It's a fair price, isn't it?

I wouldn't think twice if I were you

You'll save the extra charge

You realize you have to earn it?

- Take Lilli now... - Oh, I know, don't worry

Where did you learn?

That's none of your business

Come here, come here!

Tell me... please!

I got Lilli to explain it to me

What?

I'll pay you, you know

I don't trust you, dear

In advance!

Okay!

Who? My father?

Tell him I can't speak to him now

because... I'm working

And please tell him

I've found a job

Yes... a job... Thank you

Pupe, may I come in?

Hey there, Turazzi.

It's me.

It's me.

- Sure, I remember. What you doing here? - Wherever there's a fair on, I'm around.

- You'd better see to it that I pick out a winner. - This is your lucky day, my friend.

Well, give me two then. The 90 and the 5.

Well, give me two then. The 90 and the 5.

That's 6,000. - You raised the price too, you little chiseler!

You think you'd pay more for a laxative. And if you win it you won't have any complaints.

Alright, let's have another, the 13.

Alright, let's have another, the 13.

Er, would you maybe have a friend? Someone I can trust, you know?

- Not someone too young. - Come here a second, I got a good thing.

Don't yell! It's the kind of thing could get us in hot water.

Don't yell! It's the kind of thing could get us in hot water.

You just hang on. I'll sell them all for you.

- Hey, boys! Listen to me! - Oh now look, Turazzi! Please.

I will not be an ostrich, my friends!

- That's what they said on the radio. - Well, as long as it's said on the radio...

- That's what they said on the radio. - Well, as long as it's said on the radio...

There's a great danger of war. Why attempt to conceal it? Don't imitate the ostrich!

I declare I won't be an ostrich!

War? What war? It's you who'll talk us into a war. Ivo!

- Maybe they'll ask your permission to begin. - This time it's a question of who gets to the

- Maybe they'll ask your permission to begin. - This time it's a question of who gets to the

button first. There's not much to be done. - Yes, but who'll want to assume such a

responsibility in the pages of history? - You're the veterinarian. You're soft- hearted.

Don't bother with all this nonsense, I say. If you want to enjoy life, I'll show you how! Ivo!

What have you got, Turazzi?

A raffle, a lottery. Call it what you like, the drawing's tonight.

- I never yet made anything that way. - You'd do better to look at a newspaper!

When I follow the news, things are just as bad as now. Ivo, come on!

When I follow the news, things are just as bad as now. Ivo, come on!

There's no catch here, nothing shady. It's based on the winner of the national lottery.

If the first number is 62 and you got 62 then you're the winner. It proves you're naturally

lucky. Born under a lucky star. You'll weep tears of joy and a prize you'll never forget.

Lucky. Born under a lucky star. You'll weep tears of joy and a prize you'll never forget.

Please, lower your voices! Alright gentlemen, that'll be 3,000.

- Three for all of us? - For one. It's a bargain price too, I swear it.

What do we get, a palace? - The most precious thing in the world!

What do we get, a palace? - The most precious thing in the world!

What's the most precious thing in the world? - Please! You'll have me arrested...

- Are you the one who sells tickets? - I said don't yell! I'll be there in a second.

Will you explain it? Don't bawl it out, will you! - How many numbers in the national lottery?

- 70. - So that's why he's selling 70 tickets.

70 tickets? 70 times 3 means 210,000 lire! - You've seen her, of course?

I have seen her. Take a chance. At six she'll be yours, or someone else's.

I have seen her. Take a chance. At six she'll be yours, or someone else's.

- Six o'clock precisely. - You sit down in front of your television,

open those ears of yours and listen. Bari, nothing. Milan, nothing. Cagliari, nothing...

Naples? Naples, you stop there. The very first number on the wheel, that's the winner.

Naples? Naples, you stop there. The very first number on the wheel, that's the winner.

- Naples, because she's a Neapolitan. - Who!?!

Explain to them 'under your breath. We're among gentlemen. How many?

The whole block of tickets. And if I were richer I'd buy them all!

The whole block of tickets. And if I were richer I'd buy them all!

You're right. You all come with me. We'll go look over the merchandise.

- Give me number 14. - Which one?

Alright... Explain to these fellows that it's a delicate matter, will ya?

Alright... Explain to these fellows that it's a delicate matter, will ya?

Don't worry, I'll bring them back here. We're going off to have a look at the goods.

Those guys'll get me thrown into jail with their shouting. Number 14.

- And 13! - It's sold already.

Bravo, bravo! All the fire-crackers. You're the sharp-shooting champion.

Bravo, bravo! All the fire-crackers. You're the sharp-shooting champion.

People of Lugo... aim at the balloons. No more of those fire-crackers.

Come on, onwards and upwards, there is more fun here and more kicks!

You're a real champion. Aim at the balloons, it's easy.

No pushing now. You know you don't like getting pushed while you shoot.

No pushing now. You know you don't like getting pushed while you shoot.

People of Lugo, be an example. Aim at the balloons now.

That's enough now, hmm? Aim at the balloons, it's easy.

...it's easy.

Come on, see if you can hit the string. Break the string that holds the bottle

of the world-famous wine produced in the hills of Frascati.

Try and break the string. People of Lugo don't push now...

Hey, you play on this side! You there.

Finished shooting? That's three loadings...

2,000.

Thank you, sir

Thank you, sir

Ah, you old letchers.

Aim at the baloons, it's easy. You get one shot for 10 lire.

People of Lugo, try for the balloons, it's easy.

People of Lugo, try for the balloons, it's easy.

Do you want to reload gentlemen? Don't you want to reload?

I must have a look at this wonder.

Pistol or rifle?

- Why, she's never seen you before. - The police must not got wind of this deal.

- He's pulling wool over your eyes. It's a trick. - Well I swear it's alright.

I hope I drop dead right now if I told you a single lie.

I hope I drop dead right now if I told you a single lie.

Aim at the target, gentlemen.

Oh, what a target!

...Well, I'm going back for a ticket, or ten!

Alright, but why do you need this lottery? No more than 20,000 and you could have her.

You're wrong. Listen, I've tried it. Here you can only see her head.

Come on, we can do better than that.

- Papa, take a look at the new target! - And what do you think you're doing here?

Supposing when you win she says: 'Sorry, you're not my type, sir'. Supposing she says:

'You're too darn small'. - And you're too darn stupid.

'You're too darn small'. - And you're too darn stupid.

Come on, can anybody break the string?

Just break the string for one bottle of fine Albano wine from Frascati.

Step right up, people of Lugo. One bulls-eye wins the wine...

Step right up, people of Lugo. One bulls-eye wins the wine...

Break the string, break the string. Folks, it's easy! Just break the string...

Let's have a big hand for the champ now, people of Lugo.

Let's have a big hand for the champ now, people of Lugo.

The prize is one bottle of Albano wine from Frascati...

Don't you tempt me, you pig!

Zoe!

- You can try those tricks on your sister. - I haven't got one!

- You can try those tricks on your sister. - I haven't got one!

All the better for her. Stay away until you learn some manners. That's 5,000.

- Are you crazy? - Can't you count, you cheapskate?

Shut up and pay the lady...

Aim at the balloons, it's easy, onwards and upwards, people of Lugo...

Aim at the balloons, it's easy, onwards and upwards, people of Lugo...

Mamma mia, a bull!

Mamma mia!

- He's looking straight at me! - It's you red blouse! Take it off quick!

- He's looking straight at me! - It's you red blouse! Take it off quick!

Go on, get him!

Bravo! You're a hero!

- Don't put it on again! - Yeah, don't put it on again!

- If you're shooting stay, if not you can go. - Hey, I've got the 13, the 5 and the 90.

- If you're shooting stay, if not you can go. - Hey, I've got the 13, the 5 and the 90.

So long.

If I could just pay just a little a time, you'll see, then I'd buy 20 of them.

Can't do that, 'cause we're always on the move. Today we're here, tomorrow there.

Well, that's a pretty high price. That's two days' work...

Well, that's a pretty high price. That's two days' work...

Oh please, let me win! If I will, I'll walk without shoes until the sanctuary of Saint Luca!

Oh please, let me win! If I will, I'll walk without shoes until the sanctuary of Saint Luca!

- Well, when do we get the results? - When the stands close up for the night.

What's you opinion?

- Let's form a corporation! I got 1,500 lire. - No, no.

- What's your objection? ...I'm absolutely sure of winning.

- I'll be around later. - So long... How can you make a company

- I'll be around later. - So long... How can you make a company

where profits can't be shared? - What about playing 'odds and evens'?

Alright, Saverio, you sing sweet music. From here on we're partners in lust...

What do you want?

Please, could I join you? I'd like to.

- Ah, go ring your bells, little man. - This isn't for you, sacristy.

I dreamt of her the whole night through. She was going to bed

I dreamt of her the whole night through. She was going to bed

and she was taking off her petticoat. But after that there was another, and I kept saying:

'Hurry, take it all off, would you? Take it off now! '. But she kept stripping off things.

Always more petticoats! Well she must've had on 20, 30!

Princess Teodoli has left on her yacht for the Balearic Islands,

accompanied by Hyacinth of Belmonte, Dame Maria Gonzales,

the Marquis of Valfaruta, the Commissioner of Labour Orlandini,

Duke and Duchess of Pontesemolo, Mina and Tot� di Regalis, Giotto and Consuela

Barotti, Cris and Giulio di Mont-sant, the Count of Caprari, and Hh...

this is full of aitches. See if you can pronounce it. I can't.

- Seems like a 'b'. - No, that's an aitch.

- So then he's a Turk.

Nadine di Orsandor, Pupe Crionovesti, Gigi de Pr��a, Toni Morgandis,

the Countess of Solmi. They'll finish their cruise next month, stopping at Palermo.

...the poorer is a duke.

Ah, what a fool I was not to learn how to read! If I'd just finished first grade even!

- If you spend one day at it, you can write. - So what!

Now I've got to worry about making a living. If I could only save up 6 million lire. Seven.

Better make it eight, and then I'll be independent.

I'll marry whoever I please, just like Countess Solmi and the rest.

Money, money, money

makes men bolder.

Especially if you're older. - Zoe!

- What do you want? - I want a look! Then I'll buy a ticket.

Morons! What a pair of fat-heads! I'd like to slap their faces.

- Zoe, let's have a little look at your legs. - How I'd like to beat some manners into you!

- Don't get all hot and bothered little girl. - Be polite, you two ignorant peasants!

- Listen to her, will you? - I want to see Naples before I die!

Take off your hat, boy, when you mention Naples.

Before I'd go with those two, I'd take charity. They make you want to forget

all these lotteries. Vilma, this is the last one.

Money's the root of all evil...

I want to get a carriage for the baby, lined with pink silk.

Let's pay our taxes. How'd they locate us? We never leave any address around.

- Ten years taxes, they want it all... - Now, don't get upset, it's bad for you.

We'll give it all back to you, If you're not sure of us we'll sign over the caravan,

the shooting gallery, all we've got. - Hah! Take it, spill and spend it...

Ah, that's better, they took the hint.

You can't even put on a red blouse. There was a bull who didn't like the color?

If you die, we'll be ruined.

Cicci...

Must've come into the world with a craving for grapes!

I've just sold the last raffle tickets.

- Who to? - Two fellas.

- The two out there? - Yeah.

But you can't just sell tickets, you have to look at the faces!

- A bit of good taste is needed in business. - I got lots of taste, but I'm no woman.

You'd deal in white slavery if it paid you! - Should I ask for a certificate of morals?

You'd sell me to that French Marquis! What's his name, Vilma?

I think his name begins with an 'S'. - If one of those two wins,

what do you plan to do, huh? You sleep with them.

I'll slip out on the first train, my boy. - We always behaved in the right way

A fine lot of sentiments, on my skin I'll just say 'so long',

I got an other offer to manage 3 stands. I'll say so long!

- You should show a little of gratitude... ...for your percentage on every sale?

You think it's easy peddling chances on a raffle? Those prices are high.

They gave more than a million in Rome. It was in the news.

- But that's the capital. It's a very chic crowd. - Maybe you think I'm not chic enough!

- Well then, so long! Ciao, ciao! - You're crazy! I'll have to refund the tickets.

So return the tickets! Enough, enough!

- Zoe, stay here! Don't abandon us. - And talk to him! I'm not his slave-girl!

I won't end up like my mother. That's all, ciao!

- I feel terrible, I feel awful. - Wait. Wait a second. Vilma.

Vilma I was kidding, I'll stay, I won't leave you. Get some water right away. Vilma,

Vilma open your eyes, say something. I'll buy you a television set, anything you want.

They'll take away all we've got, all. They'll confiscate our little caravan.

- Calm down now. Take it easy. - They've increased the booth area rates.

- What are booth area rates? - A tax for your standing area.

- 16,000 per square yard. - Never mind, Vilma, I'll fix it for you.

I swear. But you can't get upset like this. This little creature will be terrified.

...Listen, it's already moving.

...it's really moving...

- You still got some tickets? - Sorry, sold out.

That will be 4,000 lire.

How is the bull doing?

Good evening. Come for a ride.

Sorry, I'm on duty.

- Well tonight, when you're through work. - I would like to.

- Fine! It's a date. - No, not tonight.

- Oh, why not? - Because I got... well, I'm busy.

- Doing what? - Why should I tell you?

- Oh, come on! Tell me. - Will you load this pistol I payed or not?

Hey, hey! If you're in such a hurry, go! - I paid! I couldn't care less!

- He's right, he paid. - What business are you in, anyway?

- What about the customers rights? - This won't end here...

Want to shoot this? So practice.

- Hey, have you got a boyfriend? - Me?

Well then?

Caspar, where have you been?

What on earth are you doing there? Get on!

Don't you know someone has to ring the bells for the procession?

We've got a block of 50 raffle tickets out of 70. The stud's got to be out of this stable.

Hey, listen. The winner's got to come across with the story, all the details, the whole truth!

- The whole truth, and nothing but the truth! - Watch the screen.

They take so long!

38? I got 38! Hey I got it!

Let's have that door shut...

- Tell the bishop to make less of a racket! - You'll never come to any good.

The second number is 22.

- Have you read the declaration of Kruschev? - Oh, stop bothering us!

We repeat the results of the drawing at Rome: 38, 22...

- Well boys, what's new? - We're waiting for the drawing.

Don't forget works of charity.

- Sorry, I have to go. - Come on, you can stay a little while longer.

- Hey! - Where did they hit you? Here?

- Yes. - I'm going to choke them...

Are you crazy? Where are you aiming?

- Aim at the target, cross-eyes! - I won't play, then.

I'm sorry. Where were we?

Time for Naples.

"THE DRAWING FROM NAPLES"

Eighty-nine!

Our first draw is number 68.

Who's got 68? 30,000 cash for the 68!

35,000!

Wait a minute... Wait.

Who is the winner?

A nice guy, the 68.

- Who is he? What's he like? - His real name's Formini, Caspar.

He's a decent sort of fella. He goes to church - Amen!

- Who's got the 68? - The 68? How should I know?

- Well, where's Ivo, and where's Zoe? - Are you here for the taxes?

Now what do you think of this? They say I look like my mother.

- Yes, look at the mouth, the forehead. - Oh, I've got a lot of others too.

Just a second.

It's all under control, gentlemen, and the winner's already known in the person of

Signor Formini, called Caspar! - Caspar?

- The sacristan? - The sacristan?

- Here. - See the nose? Yours is even finer.

But look here. You see this? He's much handsomer, don't you think?

- Do you have the 68? - Yes. That's how old my mamma is.

- I'll buy it off of you for 35,000. - 48 cash! You won, Caspar!

What's wrong, Caspar? Just a second, look out now! I'm going to let go, help me!

42,000 for it, Caspar! Come on, Caspar!

- Good night. - Good night, Irina

- We're through, come on we'll go dance. - Oh, it's impossible. I've got a headache.

...she's got a headache. Good night, Geno. See you tomorrow.

- Lovely tune, eh? - Yes, but I happen to have a headache.

- Oh. Don't worry, it'll go away. - Cha-cha-cha.

- We'll really have fun. - Ciao, Geno. I'll see you tomorrow.

- Oh, come on! Just one dance. - She can't, she's got a headache!!

- Lets do a cha-cha-cha. - Zoe!

- What do you want me to do? - It'll make your pains disappear. Just watch.

Zoe, come back! Come on Zoe, it's time!

- I told you to let go of him! - It's not my fault! He won't let go!

- What do you want from me? - Just one dance and we'll all go to bed.

- Zoe! - I've got to go, ciao, ciao!

Ciao.

Bet he doesn't have the nerve. It's one o'clock.

It's 12 minutes to.

That's 40,000 lire, what more do you want? I was the first one to give you the news.

Hurry, my son. It's already 10 minutes to one.

45! With that kind of money you can go to Bologna and marry a countess.

Word of honor, you'll marry a countess!

50,000 lire!

Came on!

Don't let yourself be bullied, Caspar.

Enjoy yourself! Enjoy yourself!

Bad thing!

Good bye now, Zoe. We'll be coming back after...

You see that girl just isn't your type and never will be.

- And besides, hard cash is hard cash! - No, no. It's no use.

This guys crazy! He's refused 60,000.

- I'll make it 80,000! - Caspar, you've never seen such wealth!

Listen to a friend. - Think of your mother.

- Yeah, think of your mother! - It's all over tomorrow morning!

- Life is long, Caspar. - You've got the future to think about.

Caspar, you ate cabbage an hour ago. It's difficult to digest, you might faint in there!

And besides, you get emotional, Caspar. Chances are you can't take the strain!

- Look at that imbecile! - He's gone crazy.

- What's he think he's going to accomplish? - Nothing!

- 60,000. - 80,000! In 3 months.

Ah, go to the devil, then!

- What's he think he's going to do! - Imbecile!

Come right in.

Good evening.

The door, please...

If you want to sit down.

Er, 68.

- It's not fake, is it? - No.

I've such a bad headache.

Oh, I'm sorry about that...

Stop it!

Stop it, will you please?

What's the matter with you?

They were headed toward Vigna Cavallo...

- Have you seen a caravan? - Just follow along this way.

- Oh, yes papa. - Hey, what are you doing up at this hour?

Watch out!

Water melon!

Geno! Hey! What's the big idea? Hey! For God's sake...

Where are you going? Come here...

What do you use for a brain?

Are you finished so soon? Did you get tired?

Did you hurt those big hands of yours? Big and dirty, they smell like a stable.

What do you take me for? I'm a respectable girl, don't you forget it!

And for your information my father was respectable too.

And I'm free to go where I please, and when I have a debt, I pay it.

Understand that, you fat-head.

You are a fat-head.

What do you think I am? And who do you think you are?

I'll bet you never toured Italy! Ignorant lout!

You'll always be an ignorant lout! I'll fix you.

And you? Do something! What sort of a man are you?

Come on, let's see...

We'll show him a thing or two! I'll even take off my shoes!

Do something!

Sit down here...

- Why are you called Caspar? - So was my grandfather.

Here. Here's the money...

Just take it all, and we'll forget about it.

- But, why? - Can't you count?

You've never seen so much fortune. - But, actually I have the right to...

what I mean is... the law says...

Look now, Caspar. Think how much you'll buy with it. Let's have a smile.

Smile!

You can have your tooth replaced or go out to one of those big good dinners.

With coffee and ice cream, once a week for a whole year.

And afterwards you can give a present to your wife, to your children.

- I haven't got a wife. - And is that my fault?

Come on, don't be so difficult. Good bye now, Caspar. Ciao.

Ciao

- Couldn't I? Maybe? - What?

Supposing we split it?

And what would you get for it?

We'll think of something.

Why don't we just forget it, Caspar?

At least a kiss?

- At Lugo, may I say? - What?

- You can say whatever you want. - You see, they make fun of me.

Hooray! Hooray for Caspar! You're a real man.

How was it?

Oh, money, money, money when you've struck it,

you know that you're in luck It's the battle of the buck that's all

When you got dough the boys will love you for that

And when it's gone they leave you flat.

Hooray for Caspar! You're a hero!

You're a swine!

Hey Adelmira, you're too old to appreciate such things!

Swines!

Every one of you, you're all swines!