All language subtitles for 5 Doctors (2016) - tt4820162

Senator! Now, if...

Life is a beating.
All right?

And the sooner you
understand that, the better.

Hit it.

You're the dog Walker?
I'm really sorry.

She's a Pomeranian, Paul,

a show dog.

That's $14,000 you let just
walk off down the street

on Melrose.

Did you say Melrose?

Awesome. Thanks, Spencer.
It was really nice.

Great.
Sorry to keep you waiting.

No worries. Thanks, guys.
Nice to meet you guys.

Oh, can we just get you
to slate one more time?

Oh, sure.

Uh, Spencer...
Camera.

Spencer Kaminski.

And to the side.

And should I say it again?
No.

Okay, back to camera.

And your name one more time.

Spencer Kaminski.

Okay, thank you.

Great. Thanks, guys.

Okay, we have one more.
Right?

Hey, Betsy,
this is Spencer Kaminski.

I'm just calling to see
if you've heard anything yet.

Obviously I do know
that it is 5:00 A.M. in L.A.

And I apologize.

I just... yeah,
I had to pop back to New York,

actually,
for a quick second today,

but I will be back
in L.A. tomorrow.

I'm taking the red eye
flight back tonight.

Uh, just taking care of
a few obligations today,

but I'm good to go
for a callback

if I should get a callback.

I think the audition went well,

so we'll see.

Anyway, so, call me back, Betsy.

Oh, this is Spencer Kaminski,
by the way.

Oh, when the saints R.

Yes, I want to be M...
that number R.

Hey.
Hey, man.

Good to see you. Hi.

Nice jacket.
Thanks.

Oh, that's the new steakhouse.

Did you hear about that?
It's great.

When you go in, it's like
you're in Paris or something.

Paris. Wow, that sounds...
That sounds great.

So my 4:15 got moved to 4:45,

so we're just gonna have to
hustle after Dr. Kaplan.

Four... okay, 4:45.

4:45 P.M.?

Jay, did you...

Did you take a look at
the itinerary I sent you?

As in the email?

It was attached
to the email, yeah.

Um, I did click on it,
and I think I, like...

It got covered another window,
and then I tried to find it,

and it got moved.

It's okay.
It's fine. It's fine.

I printed you a copy.

There you go.
Okay?

So for Dr. Suzuki,

Mapquest says it's faster
if we cut through town

and then go up Ravensdale.
What do you think?

Uh, these are all
doctor's appointments?

Jay, did you not read
the email that I sent you?

No, I-l read it.

I just... the attachment,
it like, opened,

and then I couldn't find it.

Okay, I have five doctor's
appointments today.

Can you take me
to five doctor's appointments?

Yeah, sure.

Okay, great.

It's just, um,
it is a school day.

Oh, shit, I forgot about that.

No, it's fine. I just have to
Gd back there at some point

because it's, like, my job.
You know?

But... yeah, it's fine.

I... I mean,
I'm just happy to see you.

Thanks, brother.

Sorry.

Sorry about that.

So, Spencer, you don't have, like,
different doctors in California?

What do you mean?

Like, why couldn't you just go to
the doctors they have out there?

These are my doctors.

I trust them.
They trust me.

It's a whole thing.
You don't mess with that.

Spencer...
Hmm.

So, California.

Right? Do you go to the beach,
like, every day?

No, not a lot of time
for the beach.

The last six months has been
a lot of, like,

figuring out how to roll out
the next thing.

You know?

Have you not seen
"the fucked up brother-in-law?"

It's a... it's a video?

Yeah, it's a video.
It went super-viral.

Everyone was sharing it.
You didn't see it?

No, I had to get rid
of my Internet stuff

'cause one of my students
kept posting...

Here, I can just pull it up
for you.

Yeah, I mean, basically,

it's just me as this girl's
brother-in-law, you know.

I show up at Thanksgiving. I'm
doing all kinds cf crazy shit.

I don't know.
It's funny. You gotta see it.

But it's initially what got me
my agent, Betsy.

Betsy?
Yeah, and she's been,

you know, sending me out
on these auditions,

and I actually auditioned
for a pilot.

Um... I'm waiting
to hear about...

Supposed to hear about it today.

Wow, congratulations"

yeah, it's this ABC sitcom.

It's about dog walkers.

I'll be playing a...
Playing a dog Walker.

It's a good role.
It's a... it's a great role

'cause he, like, you know,
he loves the dogs,

but he's conflicted about it,
and, you know...

Hey, speaking of dogs,

you wanna hear a funny story?

Sure.

I was walking on Ravensdale
the other day,

like where Ravensdale hits
the library,

and all of a sudden I realized

there was this little dog
next to me.

No collar, no leash, nothing,

so I just looked at him,
and I was, like,

"hello, Mr. dog.

How are you doing?"

As it's looking up at me.

I was, like,
literally talking to a dog.

Mr. kaminski?

Here, man. Watch
"the fucked up brother-in-law."

Get down, motherfuckers.
We're doing body shots.

S-sorry. I just...
get down, motherfuckers.

I don't know how to...
Fuck, fuck, fuck...

Anybody mind if I twerk in here?

Hello, Spencer.

Nice to see you again.

Your father's told us all about
your big Hollywood career.

Seems we haven't seen you
in a few years.

Yep.

Remind me to tell you

about this idea
for a television show

my husband and I have.

I think it's a guaranteed hit.

So what brings you here?

Listen, Dr. Suzuki,

I just feel... I don't know,

I just feel crazy.

I'm sorry, crazy?
Yeah, I feel crazy.

I don't feel like myself.

You know?
I'm tired all the time.

I feel dizziness.

Like there's cloudiness
in front of my eyes,

like I'm not all the way here.

My skin feels tight, too tight.

And at night my arms and my back

will burn like there's fire
on my arms and back.

I have hot feelings in my face,

hot hands, the hottest hands,

and I have this rash on my back

that just keeps getting worse,

and, you know, it hurts
when I blink sometimes.

I don't know.

I know this sounds
a little extreme,

but I just feel like I'm...
Dying.

You mentioned you had a rash?

Yeah, let's do the rash,
then the hot hands.

Is this your dog?

No, it's just, like,
a compilation

of different cute dogs

from all over the world.

They're all so cute.
Yeah.

How'd it go?

Went fine, man. Just a routine checkup.
You know.

Oh, okay, great.

Thank you for your service, Sir.

Is your neck okay?
Yeah, it's fine.

Oh.

Okay, I'm just gonna run in
and just lock my classroom.

Oh, it's your cousins.

Travis?
No, no, no. Shh, shh, shh.

Shh. Could you, just...

Okay, um, truth is, Jay,

It's... it's supposed to be
a surprise,

me being back in town.

A surprise?
Yeah.

You know, you are the
only one who knows,

so I'm going to surprise
my family later,

so I can't really be seen
by anybody yet, you know?

Oh, okay.

That's fun.

That's gonna be really fun.

Okay, cool.
That's great.

Uh, Spencer?
Yeah.

Are you gonna...
Are you gonna jump out?

I'm not sure what you...
Are you gonna, like...

Surprise.

Maybe. It's a good idea.

Yeah, I might do that.
Yeah?

Oh, man, that's gonna be
so much fun.

Okay.

Mr. Feldman.

Friday's
baseball tournament winners...

This announcement
coming from Mr. Cliff...

Defeated Dobbs Ferry
in a close match.

This is a great
example of figure painting

and how it changed
during the renaissance.

These people
aren't passive subjects.

There's emotion.
There's intention in the eyes.

Jay. My Mom.

Is your Mom okay?

Yeah, she's fine.

It's just...

Yeah? What?

Can we... can we go, please?

Yeah, sure.
Just in one second.

What are we doing?

Come m.

Hi, Lisa.

Sorry, what?

Just... just hi.

That's all I...
All it was.

Oh, hi.

Sorry, Jay, I was...

I was at this loud band thing
last night,

um, and I don't think my hearing
is quite back to normal.

This is great.
It sounds great.

It sounds like a great lineup.

Jay and I went to school here together.
Cool.

Yeah, Spencer and I have known
each other for a really long time.

In seventh grade,
we hung out, like,

every single day.

That's so sweet.

Um, can I actually ask
you guys a question?

Yeah, what? Anything.

Does my hair look weird to you?

Just because last night,
at the concert,

somebody snapped open a stupid
glow stick right next to me,

and I think some of it
got on my scalp.

And I was in the shower
this morning,

and I like...
I pulled out a clump of hair.

So now I'm worried
that I might be balding,

and I wondered if it looked
like I was balding to you.

Uh... no.

Like, not really?

I mean, I don't think so.

It looks like maybe
it's probably okay.

You know?
That's anxiety.

I'm sor... what?
Yeah, that's no glow stick.

When people are anxious, they pull out
their hair and they think they're balding.

It's like anxiety 101.

I don't...
I don't think I'm that anxious.

You want an Ativan? I think I have
one loose in my pocket somewhere,

or maybe a Xanax.
I can give you one of each.

I don't think...
I agree, though that...

I'm sure you're not balding.

I really hope not.
That would be so terrible.

I'd have to...
I'd have to buy a toupee.

Yeah.

Hello.
Hello.

I guess it sticks.

This is funny
but we gotta go, really.

Okay, we have to go,

but I'm just gonna lock
my class,

and if anyone needs anything, like,
to borrow a camera or something,

you can just let them in.

Okay.
Great.

All right,
I'll be back at 2:00.

O0.
Wait, what? What are you talking about?

I've a meeting...
Didn't I tell you?

I have a meeting
with a student at 2:00.

That's, like, my only thing.

Like...
2:00, you said?

Yeah, I guess I just forgot.

Could you move it to 5:45?

Um, I really shouldn't

'cause that's after school hours...
You know what? It's okay.

But you're just gonna have to keep
it kind of brief, okay? Okay.

Nice to meet you, Lisa.
Yeah, you too, you too.

See you later.

Hey, Jay.

I can't wait to see
your stuff up on the walls.

Okay, can't wait to see you
out in the halls.

Oh.
What?

'Kay, bye.
Bye.

Mr. Feldman,
I have a question about nails.

Yeah... no, don't...

I'm gonna be in the car.
Okay, yeah.

What are you nailing, Phil?
Don't nail.

No, I said you're gonna use... you
see how these are all pushpins?

You just gotta use...
Put this back, please.

Uh, Mr. Sulanaro.

Spencer kaminski.
Do you remember me?

Holy shit. Spencer.
Of course, buddy.

Good to see you, man.

How's everything going?
It's good, man.

Not much has changed.
Still fighting the good fight.

Administration's always
trying to stifle

my right to teach as I see fit.

You know, I say, "poison,
this isn't social studies.

I can't teach
a fucking rubric. This is art."

Yeah, yeah. Well, you know,

I still think about
your class all the time.

That's good to hear, man.

So you're out
on the left coast, yeah?

Yeah, yeah, It's...
You know, it's going well.

Well, listen.
I got a meeting.

But you should totally pop by
my class later.

I'll introduce you.
You can...

You can say a few things,
you know...

Sounds good.
I'd be honored. Yeah.

Hey, keep 'em honest out there.

I don't get
how this relates to teeth.

I think it's just
supposed to be soothing,

like to make your relax, but...

Spencer?

Spencer kaminski?

Oh, my goodness!

Your mother and I, we were just
talking about you yesterday.

She didn't mention
you were coming home.

How are you?

It's so good to see you.

Yeah, I'm... you know,

I'm doing okay.

How are you doing, Laurie?

I'm pretty well.
Did you hear?

Loretta's son Tyler...
He got hammertoe surgery.

Wow.

Yeah, he had a serious case
of hammertoe.

Dr. Perry said

it was the worst case
of hammertoe

in Hastings history, Tyler had.

Spencer, Dr.
Goldsmith is ready for you.

So... how long are you
in town for, Spencer?

Yeah, um...

Laurie, my Mom doesn't know
I'm in town yet.

It's a surprise. I'm going
to surprise her later,

so if you could refrain from
telling her that you saw me,

that would be great.

I'm gonna... jump out.

Sure, Spencer.

I... won't mention it to her.

Okay, great.

Is that Spencer?

Look at you, man.

Hey, how long has it been?

It's your first time
in the new office. Huh?

What do you think?

Lots of colors.
Yep.

You know, I was just talking
with your uncle about this.

I remember a little boy

who could not wait to get
his teeth cleaned.

Your sister would come in here

and just cry and cry,

but you always loved it.

You were always so giggly.

What were you so giggly about?

Honestly, man, I'm pretty
worried about my mouth.

Okay.

Uh, have you been flossing?

Okay, so...

So I've been reading,

you know,
a lot about mouth cancer,

about oral cancer,

and apparently if you have lumps

or sores in your mouth,

that's a pretty telltale sign,

and I'm pretty sure
that I have those.

Uh-huh.
So and also

I think there's
a deep, hard edged crack

in the tissue of my mouth.

A deep, hard-edged crack.

Mm.
Is this stuff you're reading about...

About on the Internet?

Well, it's all new.

Well, this is, uh...

It's hardly new.

New to someone
who's not a dentist maybe.

The good news is,
that hard-edged crack

is absolutely nothing
to worry about.

Phew, right?

Now, the bad news is

you have three little,
Itty-bitty cavities

that we're gonna need to fill...

One here, one here, and one...

Way over here.
Huh? Molar 17.

Well, Dad, if
you'd just call the steakhouse

and you could just...

Well, don't... I've had
issues with attachments,

so just...
No, don't...

I... nobody...
I don't have a faxing ability.

I don't at the...

Okay, yeah.

You know, when our friend
Spencer here was a little boy,

he used to do these little
comedy magic sketches

with his sister Jo
at the PTA every year.

They had marionettes.
They did voices.

One year they sawed
the superintendent in half.

Oh, wonderfully elaborate stuff.

Always done with safety.
Right, Spencer?

All right, open wide now.

Open, Spencer.

That's my boy.

Okay, Karen, bring it in.

Uh, yes, okay, that works.

Thank you for understanding.
I'll see you then. Bye.

Dr. Kaplan's gonna fit me in
at 3:00.

It's fine. Now we've got
time to eat, so that's great.

Thank you.

Thanks.
Enjoy, guys.

So how's your sister doing?

She seems to be doing
really great.

I've seen her around a lot.

She seems like, really,
like happy and healthy.

Yeah, yeah, she's doing good.
It's a process.

She was telling me about
that treatment place,

and it just sounds,
like, really great fit...

I gotta...
I gotta write more standup.

That's my problem.
These viral guys...

They have the opportunity
to open for big acts,

but they go up there
and they bomb

'cause they've got no material,
like they're out of ideas.

I've got plenty of ideas,
but, you know, I gotta...

I gotta write more standup.
I gotta focus.

What's funny in here?
Waitresses, their outfits,

soda...

French fries?

Soup. Soup is funny.

Cream of broccoli soup.

Why do we still call it
cream of broccoli?

Isn't that kind of disgusting?

Doesn't that conjure up an image

of a piece of broccoli

ejaculating?

Isn't it about time

that we had
a diner summit meeting

and officially changed
that name?

You think that's funny?

I feel like that
could be funny, right?

Seem funny to you?

Yeah. Yeah, it's really funny.

How do you spell broccoli?

I remember you in high school,

in that Roman musical.

You remember that?
That was really funny.

That was your song.
Remember?

Please stop singing.

You remember this?

I remember... I do remember
this song, but shh, shh.

You should do musicals.

You ever talk to Betsy
about, like...

You can't just do musicals.

It's a whole other industry.

You remember like this?

You always did that,
with the wink and the salute

in all the photos.
Why did you do that?

It was my thing.

So funny, those pictures.

Oh, god.

S-Spencer kaminski,
is that you?

Davis, what's going on, man?

It's been a while, huh?

Yeah.

So nice to see you.

How you doing, Jay?
Good. How you doing?

Pretty good. Just getting
over some indigestion.

Oh, yeah?
Than ks, Diane.

What are you up to
nowadays, Davis?

Davis works at Antoinette's.

It's been really good for me.

I had a hard time finding a job

after the whole
muscle relaxers' incident.

Mo you hear about that?

Muscle relaxers?

I had no idea
how much I would learn

from getting arrested
for illegal muscle relaxers,

but I'm doing better now,

and things are good.

Last summer I was ordained
as a minister,

kind of like a goof
for John's wedding,

but I've really grown
into the role,

and I baptized a baby
a few weeks ago.

It was amazing.

Wow.

And I just like working
at Antoinette's.

I get all the free food I want,

free paninis,

and it's a safe space for me.

I don't think
I'm going to slide back

into the whole
muscle relaxer thing.

Enough about me.
How about you?

What have you been up to?

I'm good.
I'm doing good.

I, uh, living out in L.A.

L.A.

I'll tell you, it's crazy
to be back in this diner.

Uh, I was actually
looking at the menu,

and I noticed that
they still call it cream...

Of broccoli soup.

Sounds a little disgusting,
isn't it?

Can we officially have
a diner summit meeting

where we...
Where we just change that up?

Right?

What's a diner summit meeting?

Yeah, it's like a theoretical
meeting of the diners.

Oh.

It's not real.

Yeah, it's like a joke
that Spencer's working on.

It's very funny.

Uh-oh, shit.

Oh, it's your cousins.

Where is he going?

He's gonna surprise
everybody later,

so he's just, like...
He's just hiding

he's gonna...

Oh, okay, like a joke.

Yeah, he was gonna jump out.

That's very funny.

Yeah.

Gonna be fun.
Yeah.

Yeah, my patient file should...

My patient file should be there.

Yeah, because I've been coming
to your office since I was nine,

so I don't...

Well...

Well, look under spencie maybe.

Spencie. Yeah.

Wha... my middle name?

My middle name is David,

but no one's...

Okay, well, it's David. Yeah.

D-a-v-i-d, but literally

no one calls me that.

I barely do that.

Uh, Spencer David kaminski, yes.

That's great.
I'll see you in 46 minutes.

Bye.

Got it.

I'm just trying to change
the background on my computer.

One of my students
keeps changing it.

Wow, man, look at you. You
were so young and full of...

I don't know, no beard.

I just... it was rocks before,

it was like a picture of rocks,

and I liked it there that way.
I liked looking at the...

The rocks.

Okay.

It's a really nice setup
you got here, man.

You make this thing?

Uh, s-Spencer,

can you actually...
What's it do?

Please, just-g
can you just put It...

Put it down?

Jay?

It's for chili.

Jay, are you having feelings
about this pot?

Okay, do you promise you're
not gonna tell anybody

so we... uh, Lisa and I...

I don't remember who started it.

Maybe it was her.
Maybe it was me.

But we were like,
"let's get dinner sometime."

And so then we did, I don't know
if it was, like, a date thing,

or, like,
a friend thing, or what.

But we had
this really nice dinner.

We went to that steakhouse that I
was telling you about, that new one.

Right, enough
about the steakhouse.

It's in the story.

Still.
Okay.

So we're at dinner,
having a really nice time.

We were, like,
talking and laughing,

and, like, talking
about inside jokes,

like teacher inside jokes,
like you wouldn't get

but, like, stuff from
teaching here and stuff.

And it's just real easy
to talk to her.

That's good.
That's a good thing.

And then I went back
to her place.

She lives, like, in town,

like above the bookstore.

And so then we had...
She had, like, wine,

like it was really red.

And we were sitting
on the couch,

and I leaned over,

and I kissed her.

And then, uh, we, uh...

Had... sex.

Fucking great.

Was it your first time?

Come on, no.
I'm sorry.

No, it's like...
I'm, like, in my late 20s.

I know. You are and I'm sorry.

It's okay.
But it was special, right?

Yes.

Definitely really special.

And then afterward
we just started talking,

like really talking,

like I told her all this stuff,

like about my Dad
and about my life,

like sometimes I didn't even know
what was coming out of my mouth,

like it was just straight
from my heart to my mouth,

like my heart was talking,

not my mouth.

And she told me all this stuff,

like about her parents
and about her brother

and, like, we want
a lot of the same things,

like I think we think
a lot of the same things.

This is the most amazing thing
ever, man.

But then afterwards
she got really quiet...

And, w-w-we agreed

that it would be best

if I actually didn't sleep over,

which I'm still
kind of confused about

because it was like I was
already lying down,

and I was tired.

We were both tired.

And the next day at school

she, like, pulled me aside.
It was during an assembly,

so the hallways
were pretty much empty,

and she was just like...

"I feel like this was a mistake.

I think we
should just be friends."

Mm-hmm.

And what did you say?

Um, I think I nodded
a few times.

I don't know.
I didn't want to be loud

because of the assembly.

Listen, Jay.

You gotta talk to her
about this.

You gotta, you know, tell her
this was a big deal to you, man.

Sometimes you gotta be loud,
Jay,

like loud emotionally,

even if during an assembly.

I just-.

I feel like she thinks...

Who care what she thinks, man?

This shit isn't about her.

This was your first time, Jay.

Spencer“ I'm so sorry.

Why don't...
I told you that it's not.

I don't know
why I said it again.

It's okay.
I'm really so sorry.

It's okay.

One minute.

Just be normal.
Yeah.

What's up, Jay?

Mr. Feldman, please, Amber.

Could you actually just...

Amber, um...

Okay, I'm gonna go, man.

Okay.

Put that pot down.
It's for chili.

Okay, bro.

You don't understand,
Mr. Feldman.

This is bigger than you.

If I fail this class,

it's going to stay with me
for the rest of my life.

Not you. Me.

Okay, Amber, well, you haven't
done any of the assignments.

It's easy, Mr. Feldman.
Just don't fail me.

What a simple idea.

Instead of failing me,
just don't.

Well... okay, well,
how about this?

What if... what if we did, like,
a fun extra-credit assignment...

Just don't fail me. Okay?

I'm way to busy to start doing
work for this class.

I have field hockey practice
literally every day

so when you go to give me
a grade

with your little pen, just
write any grade other than an F.

B? Fine.

I mean, I guess...

I gotta go to practice.

Listen, Mr. Feldman.

I'd really appreciate this.

You're a great
photography teacher.

You've taught me so much about
photos and photo paper and stuff.

I feel like we really get
each other. You know?

So just please

don't fail me.

Okay, Amber,
I'll see what I can do.

Word.

"Lord, how angry I am.

Angry enough to throw mud
at the whole world.

I even felt ill. Servant!"

"Sir, in my solitude I have
become unaccustomed to the human voice,

and I cannot stand the sound
of loud talking.

I beg you, please, to cease"...

Mark, Gary, pause for a second.

Look at me.
Tell me the truth.

Did you guys prepare that scene
at all prior to this class?

'Cause I have a hunch

that we just watched you
read it for the first time.

All right.

Well,
you guys just wasted our time.

Sit down.

Okay, acting's not reading.

Okay?

Acting is not recreating something
you saw on TV one time.

Acting is embodying a character.

It's living
in that character's skin

and bones, flesh and guts.

What you two just did,
if I may say, was bullshit.

Who wants to go next?

Hey, everyone, this is Spencer,

one of the best students
I ever had.

He's an example of someone who understands
the raw power of a true performance.

You wanna come up here and say something,
Spence? Sure, okay, Ned, thanks.

Come on up.
Sure, thank you. Really quick.

Spencer.
Good to see you.

Thank you, everybody.

Uh, I am Spencer kaminski.

I'm an actor/comedian

with an emphasis on standup and
web sketch work at the moment.

And last Thanksgiving
I made a thing called

"the fucked up
brother-in-law."

Oh, thank you very much.

That's great.

Well, yeah, it got a lot
of likes and subscribers,

which is fantastic.

And it actually got
me my agent Betsy,

and agents are very important

if you wanna get seen during pilot
season or get commercial work,

but you have to remember
that agents can't create heat

where there isn't already
some kind of spark.

What grade is this, tenth grade?

Ninth grade? Tenth grade?

So that's, like,
secret crying in gym class

some casual racism,
that kind of thing?

Yeah.

I remember that time
really well, actually.

I was a raw nerve.

I felt, like, really
uncomfortable in my body.

I remember one day
I went to school,

and I wore two t-shirts

'cause I thought
it might hide my belly

a little better.

Um, and I was feeling good
about it

until this kid named
Myron Uleski...

came up to me in the
cafeteria, and he was, like,

"hey, man, are you wearing
two t-shirts?

'Cause it makes you look
really fat."

And I was like,

I just tried to laugh it off,

but... my hands were hot
and the room was spinning.

It was awful.

Um...

And at the time, my sister...

I have a younger sister...

She was going
through a lot of stuff.

Um, she was drinking a lot

and just kind of out of control.

She's doing better now,
though, I hear.

And my parents got divorced.

It was tough.

I was raised by my Mom.

She's actually president
of the school board.

She's the reason you can't chew
gum in gym class anymore.

So I'm sorry for that.

I know it's fun
to chew gum in gym.

She's running for mayor now,
actually,

so pretty soon no gum
chewing anywhere, at all.

I love her,

but she can be a little
overbearing, you know,

and she put a lot of pressure
on my sister and me.

But in tenth grade,

I did discover Ned's class.

And that was the first time
I'd ever been on stage,

and I felt like I could be funny

and way less self-conscious
and aggressive and...

You know,
I started doing the plays,

and people recognized me
from the plays

'cause I did this wink and salute thing,
like that. I did it in every play.

Even if it was, like, a sad dramatic
play, I'd do it and people laughed

and they would come up to me in the
hallways and do it back to me.

And I even asked
a girl out that year.

Uh, she said no, but it was...
It was totally worth it.

Okay, let's try something.
You wanna try something?

Can we get two volunteers?

Okay, guys,
here's what I want you to do.

Just be completely honest
with each other.

Just go back and forth

and tell each other
exactly how you feel.

Okay?

Come on, guys.
You can do it.

Um, you are Dana?

You are Melissa.

We are... in chairs.

This is a room.

It's beige... beige-ish.

Well, I mean, actually those
panels are more like an off...

But if you look on that side...

Okay,
focus on each other, girls.

Um, Melissa, you're my friend.

You're my friend, too, Dana.

You're one of my best friends.

Really? I didn't think I was
one of your best friends.

I mean, yeah, you kind of...
You never text me.

You literally never text me.

Well, that's because
you're mean to me a lot.

No, I'm not.
Like what?

Like you literally once told me

that my hair looked like shit

on my birthday.

Okay, I'm sorry.
I was drunk.

I'd just broken up with Patrick,

and I literally drank, like,
a half a bottle of patron.

That's not an excuse.

It was really mean,

and I wanna hang out with you,

but then I end up
feeling like...

I don't know... like shit.

Well...

I guess I'm jealous of you.

Jealous of me?

Why?

I don't know.
Everyone's nice to you.

You're nice to everyone.

Everyone loves you.
You're really pretty.

Well, I-l guess
I'm jealous of you, too.

You're, like, my hero.

Wait, you broke up with Patrick?

He's telling everyone
he broke up with you.

Are you kidding me?

That piece of shit.
I'm gonna key his fucking car.

I'm sorry. Katy told me...

Okay! Great, and scene.
Good job, guys.

Thanks. Right, everybody?

Yes, and go back
to your chairs. Good job.

Hey, Jay.

Hi.

Your bagel looks a little burnt.

Yeah, It's... it's okay.

I mean, yeah,
the outside, uh, is burnt,

but inside it's... its bagel
soul is, uh, it's okay.

It's... It's... it's okay.

You could just...

Take another bagel.

I like this bagel.

This is my bagel.

It's a proud bagel.

Okay, bye, Jay.

Remember your monologues
for Monday, everyone.

And no fucking around.

Man, killed it.

Trading truths.
I love it.

Kind of a Chicago style
improve thing, right?

Hey, Ned, can I talk to you
for a minute?

Sure, man. What's up?

Um, you know, I'm kind of having,
like, a hard time out there in L.A.

Oh yeah.

I mean, I'm doing things
all the time,

but it's just... it can feel like
it's not building to anything,

like kind of random.

And sometimes sort of, like,
hopeless.

I don't know.

I was just thinking maybe
I could use some...

Some of that Sulanaro wisdom.

Yeah, man. Well,
that Sulanaro Wnsoom

can get you
into trouble sometimes.

All right, listen.

You're having a hard time.
Yes?

Of course it's hard. It's supposed
to be fucking hard. Right?

You signed up for this

'cause, unlike most
fucking people,

you had the balls to move out
there and lay it on the line.

You got something to say.

You got a voice.

Respect it.
Keep it clear.

'Cause it's the only voice
that matters.

Not mine.
Not your roommate's.

Not some bullshit agent
at William Morris.

Don't even... don't even listen
to that judgmental bullshit.

Just shut it all out.
Don't negotiate with it.

Shut it all out
and listen to you.

Know what I'm saying?
Yeah. Yeah.

I gotta run.
I got a... I got a meeting,

but if you wanna grab a cup
of coffee or something later...

Yeah, definitely.
How's...

5:20 at the diner?

Sure, man. Sounds good.
I'll see you then.

Yeah. I'll see you then.

Keep 'em honest out there.

You should've been there, man.
I was in my element.

I ran this whole exercise,

and Ned... Ned's really lived
a life, man.

I just need to stop at my house.

My Dad needs help
with something.

I don't know if you've seen
his three-episode thing

on "dynasty,"
but he's phenomenal.

You can see the whole thing
at the Paley center.

I mean, he's got this
totally original voice.

He doesn't take shit
from anybody.

That was our turn, man.

Mapquest says make a left.

We're stopping at my house.

What? Okay, first of all,
that street is a huge risk.

And second of all,
we only have 19...

We just have to... stop.

Okay, it just...

Just needs to happen.

Sorry. Ten minutes.

All right. Fine.

Jesus.

Oh, look, channel nine's Jesse
Mitchell's reporting live

from your front lawn.

Okay.

Cover me.

Jay, is that you?
Is it a burglar or is it you?

There's my son.

It still smells
a little bit in here.

Like what?
What are we smelling?

I don't know.

It's like maybe
something's rotting

in the kitchen or something.

That could be.
That might be true.

Let me show you two guys
the situation. Okay?

You remember Spencer, Dad.

Spencer. You used to
come over every day.

Yep.
Hey.

He's visiting from California.

California? Wow. Sunny.

Far away and sunny.

How are you doing?

Ah, terrible. My back feels
like it was shot with an Uzi.

Wow. I'm sorry to hear that.
Sciatica.

I have a few ailments of
my own, so I can relate.

Uh, this is it.
This is what I...

Yeah, just...
Just leave it on the counter.

Okay, let me show you down here

what we've got.

All right, watch your head.

Watch your head.

All right.

Jesus, I remember this room.

Yeah.

Well, gentlemen,

I'm going to be dipping my toes

in the waters
of the dating scene,

and soon enough,

I'm going to be hosting
a young lady

in this furnished basement.

Well, I don't know
if we're going to get you

all the way there today, Dad.

We only have, like...
Nine minutes.

Nine minutes.

Well, move the heavy stuff,

and get Mr. Spencer
to help you out, okay?

Okay.
All right, good luck, boys.

I gotta run.

Whoa, heave ho, don't give up.

Does your Dad really think
he's gonna get laid down here?

I mean, in his heart, yeah.

I think he's just obsessed
with this idea right now.

Like last month it was
old books about trains,

and now it's dating.

Shit, I remember this.

Huh.
Does it still work?

Let's see.

Try the...

Let's see.

Oh, um...

Let me see.

Do you remember it?
I think so.

You wanna try?
Yeah.

Okay, let's do it.
One, two, ready, go.

Did we get a good grade on that?

No, no, he asked for a paper.

Oh, yeah.

He was mad.
I remember that.

He was furious, yeah.

Yeah, he was so mad at us.
Yeah.

He was mainly mad at you
'cause I think I...

Didn't I also write a...
You also wrote a paper.

Yeah, I just...
I just harmonized on that song.

Yeah.

Hey, Dad, we're gonna take off.

Wait a minute,
take a look at these girls.

Lock at this. Each one
is fatter than the next.

I'm sure one of them
is nice, Dad.

Nice? Nice won't get you...

I'm here at
Ellen Kaminski's headquarters

where the mood is...

That cannot be her real nose.

She did something
on the computer.

We're gonna get some.

Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

Uh, you guys, uh...
Do you want some food?

I g... I got eight boxes
of Mallomars.

You like cookies?

Think we're okay.
I'll take a cookie.

Okay, I love you both.

Come home early.
You're gonna cook.

Okay.
How many cookies you want, Spencer?

Uh, just one.

Thanks for letting me stop,
Spencer.

It's just, you know,
it's my Dad.

He just needs help sometimes.

Yeah, man. Well,
it seems like he's doing good.

He's definitely gonna make
some lady very happy.

That basement is very romantic.

Yeah.

It's actually...
That's a real thing,

what he was saying about shorting
your nose on the computer,

because this one woman
came over there

a couple weeks ago,

and her eyes were, like,
really far apart.

And what had turned out was
that she had actually pushed

the eyes closer together...

Oh, no.
What?

My Mom's calling me, man.
She must've seen me on TV.

God damn it, Jay, I told you we
should stay off that street.

I'm sorry, you were on TV?

You what... when?

I'm such a fucking asshole.

You're not doing
anything wrong, Spencer.

I mean, you're going to
surprise her later, right?

Like... jump out.

Look out, man.

You okay?

Thank you very much.

Whoo, all right.

I'm gonna move this train along.

Great. Oh,
one quick announcement.

Lou Morabito is on his way

to fix the panini press.
Okay?

So I'm gonna need everyone...
Hey, Davis.

How do I sign up for this thing?

Oh, you just put your name
on the list.

Yeah, hi, I'm gonna be about 16
minutes late to my appointment.

Kaminski.

Sorry again, dude.

Hangovers are the worst, man.

I never get used to them.

I mean, I was
so hung over the other day

even my dog was looking
at me like,

"you're fucked up, man.
I'm gonna go walk myself."

Oh.

I, uh... I went to the diner...
Diner today, man.

Who here likes the diner?
Give it up for the diner.

I was looking at the menu.

Uh, yeah, the soups, man.

Cream of broccoli soup.
Wait. What?

Does anyone find
that appetizing?

Why... why are we still calling
it that fucking name?

Uh...

Hey, Jay, whatta you say?

We got Toby's speaker system
for another hour.

You wanna do something?

Doesn't that conjure up an image

of a piece of broccoli
ejaculating?

What would I do, teach photography?

Sure, if you want.

I mean, it's a safe space.

Uh, dating
is crazy, right? Dating.

I'm dating this chick right now.

She's into some wild shit...
Okay, Kevin.

Thanks for sharing, buddy.
What's up? Did I get the light?

Uh-huh.

All right, gang,
we are moving it along.

Funny stuff, Spencer.

Okay, up next
we have Jay, everybody!

Where's Jay?

Uh, hi.

Um, uh... I'm Jay.

I think...
I know almost everyone here.

Um, hmm.

What should I d...

Okay, um...

Here's a story.

Uh, so the other day,

I was walking on Ravensdale,
like, near the library,

like where Ravensdale hits
the library,

and all of a sudden I feel like
someone's walking next to me.

And I look down,

and it's this dog.

It's like this scrappy
little dog,

no collar, no owner, nothing,

just lockstep with me.

And I... I was like,

okay, we're already walking
like two friends.

"How you doing, Mr. dog?"

And... and he's looking
at me like,

"this is pretty"... you know,
he didn't say anything,

but, you know, he's like...

Um, we're talking
like that back and forth

for like, I don't know,

it felt like... it probably
was only, like, five minutes,

but it felt like
a really long time, and I...

I feel like...

For a second there,

it's like this is
the best friend I ever had.

You know, whatever problems,

whatever heartache,

whatever I wanted to say,

and I felt like I couldn't
to somebody else,

I could say to this dog
'cause he was my friend,

and he was there
to listen to me.

Okay, that's my story.
Thanks, guys.

Anita's set's getting
more tight.

Yeah, she's good.

She's... she's good.
She's definitely good.

Why'd you cut me off?
I had another two minutes.

Okay, let's start
by dialing back the attitude.

You know what? You let
some guitar kid run over,

and then you cut me off
at three?

If I had known
how bush-league this thing was,

I would not have come
to the mic.

All right, listen, buddy.
Do not cross me right now.

I was right in the middle of my set.
I was just warming up.

Nobody in my cafe wants to have hacky
dating bits for ten solid minutes.

Oh, really? Nobody wants to see me?
Nobody!

I've got 23,000 subscribers
who want to see me,

just waiting
for that next video.

You are sweaty, you are desperate...
Sweaty, huh?

And I'm exhausted.
You need to go home.

I'm not going anywhere.

How many subscribers does
your shitty cafe have, huh?

I have gone viral.
What have you ever gone?

Davis, can you check
on that panini press for me?

Is it a wiring thing?
Or is it a...

You're banned!

Me, too?

No, you had a good set.
You can come back.

Get off.

Is your eye okay?
I'm gonna be late.

Let's not talk.
I don't need to talk right now.

I just need my doctors.

Just having...
I'm having heart palpitations,

and my hands are on fire,

and l-l-l just know
that it's cancer

or it's a tumor.

Jesus Christ, Jay,
are you trying to kill me, too?

You have cancer, Spencer?

Is that what you're...

That's why you got all these doctors.
Oh, my god.

Jay, I don't know yet.
That... that's the point.

But do you?
Like, what are your...

What are your symptoms?
Like, are you...

Are you going to be okay?
Or...

You know, I have...

Cloudiness.

I feel off.

I feel, like, not myself.

I have a rash.

You know?
I'm not in control.

It's a whole constellation
of things, Jay.

It's very clinical.

So you don't have cancer.

It doesn't sound like
you have cancer, Spencer.

I mean, I don't know yet,
technically.

My labs are still out.

Why would you say that then?

It's not a...
It's not a joke.

It's not a joke.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Don't lie to me, Spencer.

I'm flying back tonight.

L-I'm just here
to see my doctors.

I'm not seeing anybody.

I'm not surprising anybody.

I'm not going to a steakhouse.

Not going to an art show.

I just, you know, I...

I had to do this
'cause I-I've been...

I've been really scared.
I have this rash.

I've had it for three months,
and, you know...

Um, actually I...

I just remembered I need
to go back to my classroom,

and so I can't, um,
drive you anymore

seriously?

I've got three more doctors.
Can we talk about this?

Look at me, man.
Can you look at me?

Jesus, how do you
function like this?

Jay, if you've got something
to say to me, just say it.

You wanna call me an asshole,
call me an asshole. Just say it.

No. No,
'cause you never say anything.

This is a choice, man.

You take beautiful
fucking pictures,

and everybody loves you,

so you could be a full person

with reactions and feelings,

but instead you're
just a doormat.

You're a walking, talking,
driving doormat.

You can't even drive.

I just...

I have to go back to my job,

where I have
a lot of responsibility, so...

Y-you have to go.
I'm sorry.

You know what?
I don't need you, man.

I don't need you.

'Cause I have mapquest.

Mapquest, motherfucker.

I'm Spencer kaminski.

I have an appointment.
I'm sorry I'm late.

Uh, please take a seat.

Mr. kaminski?

Is your eye okay?

Yeah, yeah, it's nothing.
I'm a... a goalie.

What seems to be
the problem today?

You know,
that's kind of p-personal.

Uh, a bump.
I have a bump...

On my anus...
Near my anus...

Right under my anus.

Okay, well, Dr. Fisher
will be right with you.

No, no, Dr. Fisher?

No, I'm here to see
Dr. kaplan.

Dr. Kaplan's my doctor.

Oh, you didn't hear?

Hear what?
I'm sorry to say

that Dr. kaplan
passed away last year.

Dr. kaplan died?

But...

His name is still on the door.

Don't worry. Dr. Fisher
is your new proctologist,

and he's great.

And he'll be with you
in a minute.

Dead.

Mr. kaminski,
nice to meet you.

So hear we got a little bump
on the anus.

You're Jasper Fisher's
older brother.

I am. Yeah.

I'm sorry.
I don't remember you.

Is your eye okay?

Jasper and I were the same year.

Oh, okay.

Great

so you're an ass doctor now?

I am.

I'm an ass doctor.

So what happened
to Dr. kaplan?

It was a heart attack.

It's a shame, you know?

He was the best.

Yeah.

He was amazing.

Yep.

All right,
so should we take a look?

How old are you, man?

You can't possibly be
more than 30.

No, I'm... I'm 33.

Mm-hm.
And you're a real doctor.

You're not, like,
a doctor in training?

No, I'm a real doctor.
Hmm.

I remember you used to smoke
a lot of weed.

Didn't you deal weed?

Hey, Spencer, why don't
you take off those pants,

take a look at the bump
on your anus.

I don't think so.
I'm gonna pass.

'Cause I'm here to see
Dr. kaplan.

I flew across the country
to see my doctor, Dr. kaplan.

He brought honor
to this profession,

this was his temple,

and you're just
some punk pothead kid

that I don't know,
and you wanna see my anus.

Okay, well,
Dr. kaplan is dead.

No, I refuse to accept that.

I'm not ready to take in
that information.

Okay, you're starting
to make me mad,

starting to piss me off.

How are you a doctor, man?

Did you cram it all
into two years?

Did you take a night class?

Why don't you just take the
pants off

and show me the bump
on your anus right now.

You don't deserve
to see my anus.

You haven't earned that.
Excuse me?

Fuck this.
I'm going to a real doctor.

All right, just sit down.

Look. Sit down.
Are you a fake doctor?

Don't you push me!
Don't...

Dr. kaplan forever!

Spencer?
Can't talk. Gotta go, uncle Dave.

Hello.

Betsy, It's... it's Spencer kaminski.
How are you doing?

Hey, Spencer. Sorry
to keep you waiting.

You were up early this morning.

Yep, just, uh, living life
to the fullest.

Hey, any news on anything?

Honestly, Spencer, it's
looking like it's not gonna happen.

Seriously?

Are you sure?

Patrick at ABC texted me

that they're looking
for someone a little burlier.

Burlier?

Yeah, burlier.

You ever wanna die, Betsy?

What?

All right. Okay.

Thanks, Betsy.

What happened?

I got punched twice.

Good lord.

You must've
really had it coming.

Well, it's good to see you,
Spencer.

Yeah, it's good to see you,
too, Dr. Lipman.

Why don't I get some...

How's everything?
How are your parents?

Your uncle came over
last weekend.

Helped me put up my computer.

It's a beautiful computer.

It has the Internet
and everything.

I'm thrilled with it.

They must be happy to see you.

Honestly, Lipman,
they don't even know I'm here.

What? Spencer...

I'm just here to see my doctors

and then I'm going
back to L.A.,

flying back tonight.

You are aware that they have
doctors in California, right?

We didn't invent them here.

Yeah, I just, uh...

I feel sick.

You know, I feel not myself.

I feel like I'm dying.

Inn:

Maybe that's stupid,

but I've just been really...
Really worried.

And...

I-I was thinking it could be
Lou Gehrig's disease,

so I brought some stuff.

I don't know if you wanna take a look.
It's all new stuff.

It's new stuff and it's very...

Spencer, I've known you
for your whole life. Yeah?

I remember when you were
a cranky little baby.

I remember when you were
11 years old.

You sat right there. You told
me you had a girlfriend.

Lindsay. She dumped me. Yeah.

I remember when you broke
your leg skiing.

I remember when we figured out you
were allergic to raspberries,

and that's why you were having
such a bad time at camp.

I think I've known you
long enough

that you can cut the bullshit
a little bit.

Yeah.

It's just, uh...

I have weird marks on my back.

And I've got hard-edged cracks
in my mouth.

I've got a bump under my anus.

I have a rash
that won't go away.

I've got hot feelings
on my face.

And I... I just... you know,

I don't know.

I don't know.

You know,
I saw your sister last week.

She's doing good.

It's not easy,
but she's doing it.

Her counselor's one of the guys on
my softball team. He's a great guy.

Amazing shortstop.

Yeah? That's good.

Yeah, you should go see her.

She's living at home.

Five minutes from here.

I should go see her.
I get it.

I should.

I never call her.
She probably hates me.

I just-.

I can't be home right now.

Well, you are home, right?

You know what I mean.

I can't wake up in that bed

and eat breakfast at that table.

You know? I just...

I don't want them to see me
like this.

I wanna be here, Lipman.
I do, but I just...

I can't.

All right, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

Can you breathe?
No.

Can you take a long one
right down to the diaphragm?

Yes, that's good.

Longer.
Can you go farther down?

There you go.

Another one.

That's good.

Spencer...

Now, after medical school,
I did my residency at UCLA.

I remember going out there.

Sunny California.

I felt like my life was
taking off on a rocket,

like I could do anything.

I was surrounded by brilliant,
ambitious people.

All of them I respected.

And they all respected me.

I worked and I fell in love,

and for the first time,

really felt like a man.

But I'll never forget.

One day...

I think it was a Sunday...

I started to feel
a numbness in my fingers.

I was feeling fatigued.

I was getting these headaches.

And I realized

it was symptomatic
of Kohler's disease.

Kohler's disease?

It's multiple myeloma,

cancer of the plasma cells.

And all I could think about
for weeks was,

do I have the symptoms?

I think my bones hurt.

I think my spine and ribs hurt.

Maybe I'm anemic.

I feel faint.

It went on and on and on...

Do you think that I have...
No.

No. Just listen to me
for a second.

So eventually,

I was so worked up

that I made another resident
test me.

I had blood tests,

my skull, my skeleton,

my long bones, all x-rayed.

I was literally shaking
as I waited for the results.

I actually thought to myself,

okay, this is it.

I know I have this disease,

and this is going to be

what the rest of my life
is going to look like.

No family.

No job.

Nothing at all

but me and this disease.

And for a second there,

I wanted that.

I... I welcomed the...

Simplicity of that, I guess.

But then I look over
at my then girlfriend,

soon to be wife,

waiting next to me,
holding my hand,

worrying about me,

hoping that I'm okay.

And the moment passed.

And if the niners had covered
the spread that year,

we'd still be married.

Lost pretty much everything.

Never buy a boat, Spencer.

The insurance alone
is gonna kill you.

So you didn't have
Kohler's disease?

Maybe you just need
a good night's sleep.

Did you ever think of that?
Drink a glass of water maybe.

Yeah.

Yeah.
Okay, let's start with the rash.

Uh, so what's going on
with you and Ned?

Is it serious or, um...

Um...

Is this a good time?

Jay, what are you talking about?

It's just I know that you guys
are a thing now,

and so I was just...

I was just curious if, like...

If you loved him or...

Um, I don't... I don't...

Look, Jay, I don't really know
how to answer that.

Sure. It's a tough question.

I get that.

Sorry.
Jay, this really...

This isn't, like, a good time.
Look, Lisa, I just...

I know that I'm not, um,

attractive enough for you,

and I know that
I'm sort of fattish

and weird looking,

and I know that I did that thing

with your ear

when we were
above the bookstore,

and I apologize for that.

I apologize again.

Jay, Jay...
I know that I don't

always pick up on social cues.

I know that I have problems.

I have a whole bathtub
full of problems.

But, I mean...

You're not perfect either.

You know?

And that was what was so amazing

about the, um...

The, uh...
Above the bookstore time.

About being with you.

I mean, that we weren't perfect.

It made me feel a lot better

about not being perfect.

And even if your hair
all fell out

and you were completely bald,

I wouldn't even care.

I, um...

I don't know, Jay.
It's...

I don't think we...

I don't think
we feel the same way about...

It's just no.

Lt... the answer's no.

It's not...
It's not going to work out.

I just wanna, um, chime in here

and say I've never felt more
awkward in my entire life.

Right, sure, uh... and that's...
That's okay.

I expected this.
Honestly.

I just wanted you to know

that these are the feelings
that I'm feeling.

Whatever you're feeling
is fine...

But this is how I'm feeling.

Now you know
and that's all I wanted.

To feel...
To feel the feelings.

Okay?

Okay.

Okay. Well, I think I love you,
but I'll talk to you later.

Hey, Ned.
Hi, Spencer. How's it going, buddy?

Still thinking about
that trading truth shit

from today.
It's killer stuff.

So listen up, man?
What's eating at you?

You going out auditioning
and shit?

Getting seen?

That L.A. scene is crazy.

Yeah, well,
it's definitely tough.

Yeah. You just gotta stick it
out, man.

When I was your age,
I was ruthless.

I was knocking
on all kinds of doors,

mailing all kinds of shit
to peop...

piece of shit thing.

Can I get your something?

Oh, uh, cream of broccoli soup, please?
Sure.

Anyway,
you can't back off of them.

'Cause the minute you do,
they're just gonna...

What's going on
with you and Lisa?

It's complicated, man.

Uh-huh.
It's very complicated.

What happened to your eye?

Oh, nothing, nothing,
I got punched by a doctor.

What's your game plan there
with Lisa?

Oh, I don't know if we should
get into all that.

Come on, man.
I'm not in high school anymore.

I can take it.

Let's trade truths.

I'll go first.

I was a seat filler at
the people's choice awards,

and they asked me to leave

'cause I couldn't stop crying.

Okay, man.
All right, now it's your turn.

What's going on with Lisa?
What's...

I mean, I don't think
she knows what she wants.

We've been sort of
on again, off again

for a couple of months.

You know, we're having fun.

She's a good kid,

but...

Different worlds,

different generations, you know?

Just trying to keep that shit
at arm's length.

And you're married.

Right. Yeah.

Remember junior year,

when you had us just go
on stage and yell "fuck you"?

Yeah, sure.
It's my favorite exercise.

I'd start class with that every day
if it wasn't for camera phones.

Can't no half my old shit.

Listen, Ned,

I think you're
a really good guy,

and I've always looked up
to you.

I still do, but...

Here you go.
Thank you.

Yeah.

I have this friend.

He's the nicest guy
in the whole world.

And he never says fuck you
to anybody.

And I've been thinking.

This guy, he must be miserable.

I mean,
how does he live like that?

But in reality

he's a lot happier than I am...

Happier than both of us,
probably.

Truth is, man,

let's face it.

You can't yell fuck you forever.

You can't push people away
like that...

Not to mention,
it's kind of messed up

to make a whole classroom
full of kids yell curse words.

You know,
at least make that optional.

I'm just saying. It's...

Jesus Christ, man.

I thought you wanted to talk
about agents or some shit.

Yeah.

I got an appointment.

What the fuck, man?

That's it?

Keep 'em honest out there, Ned.

Jay! Where are my long socks?

That's not a weatherman!

A weatherman should look

like they've been outside
for days,

and they just look like they've
been killed by the weather.

This person looks like they
came from the rainbow room.

Why does everybody look
like they came

from the rainbow room
on television, giving the news?

Sorry.

Hello, Betsy?

They wanna see you again.

What? What happened with not being
stocky enough or whatever it was?

Patrick saw another photo
and said you looked way burlier.

Yeah, yeah, I know that photo.

Well, that's... great news.

Yeah, it's really fucking great.

Let's get you in there
as soon as possible.

Let's do tomorrow at noon.

Bring a headshot and maybe throw "shitty
brother-in-law" on a thumb drive, okay?

See you there, Spencer.

Jay.
Hi, Jo.

Hey.

Hey.
Hey, what's up?

Not much.
What are you doing?

Uh, my family does not sort out
the recycling from the garbage,

so I do it...

The end of the week,
and it's disgusting.

Um, how was your thing today?

My thing?
You mean rehab, Jay?

Yeah, yeah.

It's okay.
Sorry.

I'm an outpatient,
so I get there at 9:00

and leave at 5:00.

Um, it's like having a job

but with no emotional
boundaries.

It's... it's odd.
Uh-huh.

Yeah.

How was your day?

Um, it's kind of like that too,
actually.

So how's your brother doing?

Have you...

And I can't even imagine.

You know, I've seen him
on the Internet and stuff.

It's like, California,

far away and sunny.

How does he seem to you?

L-I haven't...

I haven't talked
to him in, uh...

0l-|... ls...
Jay, it's fine.

I know you've been driving him
around all day.

Wha-what? No. We...

My mother still doesn't know,
and she can't know.

I'm s... okay...
So stop.

I'm sorry. I just...

Wow. Okay, so do...

Do other people know?

Yeah, I got a couple calls,
actually.

Oh, did Antoinette
really punch him in the eye?

Yeah, she, like...

Wound up

god, poor guy.

I'm... I'm sorry.

Why is he a poor guy?

Jo, he comes here.

He runs around,

hiding from you guys.

Don't you just wanna...

Like grab him
and just, like, shake him?

Like, aren't you angry?

Are you angry?
You seem angry.

I don't know.
It's just he...

All he cares about
is his "dog walkers"

and his made up health problems.

He doesn't even wanna be here.

I think,
if he didn't want to be here,

he wouldn't be here.

I think he just hit a wall,

and he needed to come home.

I just think
he's going about it wrong

'cause he is...

An idiot.

And, I don't know,

scared?

Yeah.

Did you say he's walking dogs?

No, it's like he loves the dogs
but he's conflicted about it.

Just the dogs in his life?

I.-

Mom?

The ophthalmologist, Ellen!

Come on.

I don't...
I don't really...

No, we gotta go.
Come on.

I'm just going
to fully dilate your eyes.

It'll take few moments.

There's a... a car.
Yeah, man, safety first.

Oh, that's a great idea.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Absolutely. Okay.

Appreciative of your vote,

and it was so great
running into you.

Really, really, really...

All my prayers.
It means so much to us.

We really appreciate it.

If you've got some volunteers,
I'm telling you.

Take these brochures.
Put this on their cars.

We could really use the support.

Ellen?

What is it?

I'm not sure.

Ellen!

He jumped out.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Kaminski? Is that you?

Spencer!

Get in.

Thanks, man.

So Laurie did tell my Mom,

an d... holy shit.

Listen, Jo, uh...

I was just about
to stop by the house,

but then I, uh...

I've got hot hands.

Did you get punched
more than once?

Yeah, two times.

Hey, wha...
When's your train again?

Amber. Amber.

Amber.

Um, Jay? What are you doing?

Uh, it's Mr. Feldman.

Okay?
And I'm just...

Wanted...
Just wanted to let you know

that because you haven't done
any of the work for my class,

you are... actually, yeah,
you're gonna be failing it.

You don't take it seriously.

You have to suffer
the consequences.

I mean, you don't do the work,
you don't show up.

You broke two cameras, okay?

And those are expensive cameras,

very expensive,
and you broke two.

No one's ever broken two
but you.

Okay? So you know what?

You don't deserve
a passing grade.

You're not going to get one.

What is your problem?

Listen, I'm gonna go.

Have a great practice,
but just to be clear,

you fail, Amber.
Okay?

You fail. Okay. Sorry.

Sorry, coach.

Fuck you, Amber.

Now, just... have fun.
I don't know.

But not less fun.

That's great.

Okay, just relax
your shoulders a little.

Okay. And just chin up
a tiny bit.

Too much. Back.

You're smiling kind of like...
Like weird.

Spencer, do the... thing.

Um, seriously? No.
Yeah, I mean, just...

You know, we'll try it
and then you have it.

All right, all right.

Okay, ready?

Still... you still got it.

Okay, you wanna see?

Yeah, let's see.

We could probably fix your eye
a little bit on the computer.

No, no, this is perfect.

Yeah?

All right, let's do a few more.

Just look right at me.

Okay, ready?

Smiling.

I'll go get you a ticket,
Spencer,

'cause the machine's
really different now.

Thanks, man.

Listen, Jo. I was thinking
in the car, and I just...

If you could just tell Mom that I'm
sorry and that I just really need...

Spencer, is this you trying to fix this in
the six minutes before your train comes?

Yeah. I just...

No. I'm sorry.

So what's this dog Walker thing?

"Dog walkers" pilot?

It's so stupid.
It doesn't even matter.

If it matters to you, I'm not
gonna think it's stupid.

I... I probably won't think
it's stupid.

You should call me and let me
know how it goes either way.

Call me. Okay?
I will.

But I am not talking to Mom
for you.

Do you realize
how insane that is?

All right, I get it,

and that's... I'm sorry.
All right, well you...

Great, you will call her?
I'm gonna call her.

And you will have
a conversation?

I promise I will call her
and have a conversation.

Okay?
All right.

I'm sorry.

I pro... I will.

All right.
Okay. Good-bye.

Hey, guys.

I got it.

Bye.
Bye.

So how you feel?

I feel good. You know?

Yeah? You feel healthy or...

At this moment,
I pretty much feel healthy.

That's good.

It's a good thing, right?

Okay, well, I should...
I should go.

Well, thanks again, man.

Sure. Yeah.

Good to see you.
Yeah.

Look, Jay.

I'm sorry I said
you can't drive.

You're a great driver.
You're the best driver I know.

Okay. Thanks.

See you soon.

How's it going, man?

And you put
some new shoes on my feet

I know, man.

I know.