All language subtitles for 03x15_High.School.Poppycock_Lucifer

Previously, on Lucifer...

Someone is forcing those wings on me.

I'm sure it's all a part of God's plan.

If you mean His plan to continually

manipulate and control me, then agreed.

I really appreciate how
you handled the whole

"me not wanting you and
Amenadiel to bone" thing.

I do really like you.

You can't die, I know.
But I promise you,

I will find a way to end

your infinite misery

if it's the last thing I do.

Thank you for your help, mate.

No worries. This actually gives me time

to brainstorm a little
problem of my own.

Aah!

I don't understand.
How does this not work?

You still have no idea how to kill me.

Lucifer, I'm here.

Are you ready?

Lucifer?

Why is it so dark in here?

Wha...?

Lucifer?

Lucifer?

Detective.

There's been a change
of plan. I'm not going.

What? But we have a case.

Something's happened. Please leave.

Wait, what's happened? Are you okay?

I can't...

I can't make them go away.

Wha...?

Lucifer,

- what's on your back?
- Detective,

I said leave!

What's going on?

I can't...

I can't control them.

No! Detective!

Detective!

Detective, grab my hand!

Detective!

No!

No...

No!

And then I woke up.

And it's not the sort
of dream I'm used to.

A lot less nudity.

So what do you think it means?

Well, I think it's pretty obvious

what it means, Lucifer.

That I need sturdier guardrails?

Or, maybe there's some
symbolism in there.

- You mean my wings, don't you?
- Yes.

Well, clearly, you have issues.

Well, you would, too,

if your father slapped

a pair on your back.

Took away your Devil face,
took away who you are.

I mean, who knows what
else He'll take from me.

Lux? My... job with the LAPD?

Or Chloe.

Well, she may be part of
it, but this isn't about her.

This is about me.

So can we please just focus
on what truly matters here?

- Which is?
- Showing my Father

that He can't control me.

And He's not as powerful as he thinks.

And how are you going to do that?

By defying Him.

I'm gonna remove Pierce's immortal curse

so he can finally die.

There's just one problem, though.

Just one?

Everything that I've come up with,

Pierce has already tried.

I'm completely out of ideas.

My well is dry, and
that is why I'm here.

Yeah, well.

Not sure I know how to
remove an immortal's curse.

No.

I need you to remove my mental block.

Hypnotize me, or something.

I hear it works with
smoking and insomnia, so...

Unfortunately, that's
not how it works, Lucifer.

There's no easy fix for a lack of ideas.

No?

No.

You just have to be patient.

You never know when or where
inspiration will strike.

Well, thank you, Doctor.

For being completely unhelpful today.

Ah.

Hi, Amenadiel.

Hey, Ella?

Um...

Uh, listen, about tonight?

- I'm gonna have to...
- No!

No.

You better not be
cancelling on me again.

I know, I'm so sorry.

It's just, I have so much work to do.

Can't you play hooky?

Not if I want to be

a responsible adult.

Right.

But...

What if...

you weren't a responsible adult?

Just this once.

Come on!

Chloe,

I mean, don't you ever
miss just having stupid fun

like when you were a kid?

I was a pretty grown-up kid, actually.

Well, never too late to start.

I know. I'm sorry, babe, I can't.

Can we do a neon party rain check?

Decker, one of these days,

you're gonna realize
what you've been missing.

It looked so cute on you.

This is the longest you've
ever gone without talking.

Ever. Is something on your mind?

Nothing.

That's the problem.

Uh, how so?

Well, I...

I have this puzzle that I need to solve,

but I've hit a mental block.

- Okay.
- Have you ever just

ran out of ideas when working

a particularly difficult case?

I mean, before I came along, of course.

Right.

Um... not really.

I-I mean, I've hit dead ends

from lack of evidence,

but no, because there's
always a new angle to consider.

Braggart.

Our victim's name was Kathleen Pike, 33.

She's the author of a best-selling

futuristic Y.A. series

called Class of 3001.

She was found with her head bashed in

by her own vintage typewriter.

The irony's a little on the nose.

Or on the head, should I say?

What's that white stuff?

I know what you guys are thinking.

She's a synthetic.

Aliens.

The android who bled white.

No one? Really? Oh, never mind.

That's melted ice cream, anyway.

It looks like our victim was
about to dig in last night

when someone showed up and
rewrote her dessert menu

with that typewriter.

Real wound's over here though.

Huh. Who found the body?

Kathleen's editor. Vincent Green.

He's out by the pool.

Thank you.

Uh, Daniel.

- Your head is mostly empty.
- Huh?

Exactly. And yet, you manage
to do this improv thing.

How do you come up with
stuff on the spot like that?

Well, the first rule of
improv is "yes, and..."

Yes and what?

That's the name of the technique.

Right. I've heard you
talk about it before,

but I don't actually
understand what it means.

Well, you agree with
whatever's being said... yes.

And then you say the first thing
that comes to your mind... and.

That makes no sense.

But I'm desperate, so I'll try anything.

Yes, and.

I got the call from
Kathleen late last night.

She finally finished the new book.

We made plans for me to
come over this morning,

pick up the manuscript.

Do you usually pick up
manuscripts in person?

With Kathleen, yes.

There's only ever one hard copy

since she does all her
writing on that typewriter.

Yes, and... well, her dying

on that typewriter as well, it seems.

Do you know anyone who
would have done this to her?

Any known enemies?

No, Kathleen was extremely well-liked.

She had millions of devoted fans.

Ugh, I know how fans can get
obsessed with their idols.

Yes, and... with their boobs.

Like after you did Hot
Tub High School, Detective.

- Oh. Uh-huh.
- You don't think

this could be my fault, do you?

- Why?
- I was so excited that she was finished

that I tweeted the news to her fans.

I really talked the book
up, hinting at this huge

action-packed robot rebellion
ending she teased me with.

Well, as long as you didn't
tweet her address as well.

No, of course not, but
someone could find that.

Someone who wanted to
read the book first?

Yes, and... someone
who wanted to tell her

that robot rebellions couldn't
be more dull and derivative.

What is with all this "yes, and" stuff?

Oh, just some improv thing I was hoping

would knock me out of my idea dry spell.

But you're literally just saying
what you would normally say,

with the words "yes,
and" in front of it.

Yes, and... it's clearly not working.

- Uh-uh.
- Stupid Daniel.

Idea dry spell.

Just like Kathleen.

What do you mean?

She had the worst case of
writer's block I've ever seen.

Took her five years to figure
out how to end the series.

Well, never mind that.
How did she cure her block?

I don't know, she said I would
understand after I read it.

Said she even explained
how she broke through it

in the book's afterword.

But you haven't read it.

No, like I said, there's only one copy

and I haven't seen it.

Detective.

This afterword could explain how

to overcome my own
form of writer's block.

- What?
- We need to find it.

The killer. You mean we
need to find the killer.

Exactly. So they can
hand over that book.

Uh-huh.

- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --

Mmm. Linda, I have to say,

these last few weeks have
been absolutely incredible.

Wow.

You're really good at this
sweet, sappy stuff, aren't you?

I feel the same.

Good.

Well, maybe someday

we can actually have
this date in public?

I do hate sneaking around, but Maze.

I know. I know. She can't find out.

I...

I want to tell her,
I just don't know how.

I admit, I'm afraid.

Well, you should be. Maze would...

not take this well.

I feel so guilty, I....

I've been avoiding her calls.

Are we being cowards?

Yes.

But, Linda, it's...

- Maze.
- Maze. I know.

Do you know how she's doing?

I'm sure she's fine.

Busy hunting bounties and all.

But...

I can check on her if
that'll make you feel better.

Really? Just to make sure she's okay.

Of course.

I would do anything for you.

What? Is that too sappy?

"Max was plagued with confusion.

"If Jessica truly loved him,
then why'd she kiss Tristan?

"And in the back seat of
her flying car, no less."

This has sold millions of copies.

Tongueless kissing and stealing
liquor from their parents.

I mean, where's the sex? The drugs?

That robot rebellion
cannot come soon enough.

Was your high school
experience this pathetically PG?

I didn't have much of a
high school experience.

Oh! Played hooky a lot did you?

Suddenly I like you more.

No, child actors don't have
much time for regular school.

You're either auditioning or on set,

- so it's mostly tutors.
- Ah.

Maybe I did miss out on a lot.

Anyhow, why are you reading those?

I doubt that that's gonna

lead us to Kathleen's killer.

Oh, well, Kathleen's afterword explained

how she overcame her writer's block.

In order to understand,
I may need context.

Oh, in case she uses examples?

Exactly. So, speaking of the killer,

any leads?

Yeah, actually.

Someone who goes by the name of

"Ashley3001fan."

Got into some pretty heated
online arguments with Kathleen.

Apparently, she wasn't too happy

the book was taking so
long to be completed.

Poor Kathleen. When will
people understand writer's block

is a very serious condition?

Well, Kathleen agreed.

"I don't have to answer

to ignorant trolls like you.

There's a reason I'm the writer

and you're a fan.

Maybe you should try contributing

something to society."

Ouch, nicely put, Kathleen.

Yeah. After Kathleen
publicly berated her,

Ashley went completely offline.

You think Ashley was so
humiliated by her hero

that she wanted revenge?

It's possible.

Well, let's hope so 'cause
I need to find that boo...

Killer, the b... killer.

I know you mean book.

I did.

Hi, Amenadiel.

Hey, Trixie. Uh, is Maze here?

Sorry, no.

Oh.

Would you mind telling her
that I stopped by, please?

Sure.

Thanks.

Nice work, Trix.

Why don't you want to see him?

Amenadiel's nice.

Nice?

If he were nice,

he wouldn't be sneaking around
behind my back with my friend,

and lying about it.

Why are they doing that?

I don't know. 'Cause they suck.

Mommy says that sometimes,

people are just scared
to tell the truth.

Maybe they need a little help.

That's not a bad idea, kid.

Helping people tell the
truth is kind of my thing.

Huh.

I cybertraced Ashley3001fan to here.

And the ice cream from the crime scene,

also from here.

- Ashley could be one of these three.
- Yes.

They do seem like the insipid Y.A. type.

Though, scooping frozen treats
for others day in, day out,

seems even more boring.

Yeah, but they get to hang
out with their friends.

There's no adult responsibility.

It looks like they're having fun.

You know, stupid fun.

Since when do you like "stupid fun"?

Hi.

Detective Decker, LAPD. I'd
like to ask you all some...

- Freeze.
- Ha.

"Freeze," good one.

Please.

Please don't call my mom.

I-It's just one joint.

Claire? What's going on?

Claire?

You're not Ashley?

No, I'm Ashley.

Ashley's a man?

Yeah, I'm a man.

And I'm the manager. What's going on?

Oh, what's going on, Ashley,

is you need to give me that book.

Otherwise, I'll show
you the true meaning of

"you scream for ice cream."

Okay?

All right.

I'm gonna ask you nicely, Ashley.

Where's the book?

Dude, I'm telling you.
I don't have any book.

Then why was that found
at Kathleen Pike's home?

"3000 and Yum."

Yeah, that's a flavor I
created special for Kathleen.

I brought it to her house personally.

Do you always bring ice
cream to your murder victims?

Murder?

Wait...

Kathleen's dead?

Very.

Man, she was the greatest

writer of our generation.

What?

Her books were about high school drama.

What could a man of your age
possibly find great about them?

I mean, high school was
the best time of my life.

Reading 3001 makes me
feel like I'm 16 again.

Those books are deeper than you think.

We know about your online
fight with Kathleen.

Things got very heated.

Must've hurt to have
her insult you like that

in front of everybody.

I never should've said those things.

So, I sent her some of my writing.

You know, like an olive branch.

Hold on, you're a writer?

Yeah, man. I've written, like,

tons of Class of 3001 fan fiction.

Can't imagine that
Kathleen was too pleased.

Kathleen liked my writing.

She even asked me to help
her finish her last book.

She asked you to help?

So Kathleen's solution to
writer's block was to outsource?

Yeah, but when Kathleen read my version,

she decided she wanted to
go in a different direction.

But she said it did help her
f-finish her book on her own.

So... boom.

It did? How?

What exactly helped
Kathleen overcome her block?

She told me she realized

she needed to be more authentic.

You know, get back to
her original inspiration.

That is completely meaningless.

Well, well, what was
the original inspiration?

Oh? You guys don't know?

So, the characters in Kathleen's
books are based on real people.

And all of her stories were taken

from her real life at Westside High,

right here in L.A.

Max, Jessica, Isabel.

She didn't even change
any of the first names.

Did she have any original ideas at all?

Well, she changed the last names.

And she did have to come up

with all that futuristic sci-fi stuff.

I mean, trust me, that is not easy.

I'm actually writing my own book

about a forensic scientist

- who talks to ghosts.
- You are? Tell me,

what do you do when
you run out of ideas?

Oh, I never run out of
ideas. I've got way too many.

My problem is how to choose.

Well, there's no need to rub it in.

- Thank you.
- So, this author exposed

all these people's dirty laundry?

Sounds like motive to me.

Uh, I think Charlotte...

uh, Ms. Richards is right.

If, uh, someone saw the editor's tweet

announcing another book, then
maybe one of them killed her

to make sure it didn't come out.

Ella.

The main characters

from the Class of 3001...

If the book's gonna reveal
any secrets, it's theirs.

These are our suspects.

Right. Prom king, sexpot, cheerleader,

bad boy, valedictorian, jock.

One of these six degenerates
has my book. Let's bring them in.

No, all you have is speculation.
Not enough for arrest warrants.

I mean, even if we
did bring them all in,

we don't have any
leverage. Why would they

admit to anything?

Well, according to superfan Ashley,

Kathleen was rushing to
get her book done in time

to announce it at her
high school reunion,

which is tomorrow night.

Well, if all our suspects

are in town to attend,

gave them opportunity.

Mm-hmm. And it gives us
an opportunity as well,

to go undercover.

- Well, good. What are we waiting for?
- Well,

it's a high school reunion.
Everybody knows everybody.

Unless... you're Todd Cornwell.

Who's Todd Cornwell?

Exactly. Todd Cornwell.

Class loner, acne,

Coke-bottle glasses, whole bit.

Went to college overseas,

and when I stalked
Kathleen's classmates online,

Todd was the only one with
zero social media presence.

Lucifer, you could go as Todd.

Yeah, no, no, seriously.
Look, he looks just like you.

Has all that masturbation
finally caught up

with your eyesight, Daniel?

No one'll believe that
even if I tell them

I've had a face and body transplant.

Yeah, but it might be our only shot.

I mean, I could go as your plus-one.

Oh, poops. Hold up.

Todd RSVP'd "yes."

Charlotte, is there any legal way

to prevent him from attending?

Well, it's definitely not legal

to distract Todd with,
say, a bounty hunter.

If anyone needs me, I'm
gonna be in my office

not hearing the plan.

Okay, great. Are you gonna call Maze?

Gladly, whilst you
research our suspects.

Enjoy.

Maze.

I'm so glad you're here.

Yeah, well, you seem pretty busy.

I called a couple of
times. Never heard back.

Yeah, I know, work's been crazy.

Oh. I was hoping that
maybe you found a boyfriend.

- Boyfriend?
- Yeah.

Why would I...

Definitely no boyfriend.

- Really?
- Yup.

So single. So... so single.

Well, in that case, I
should totally set you up.

I have just the guy.

Oh, that it so thoughtful of you, Maze,

but you really don't have to do that.

Please, Linda, I want to.
What are best friends for?

I know, it's just me and blind dates...

- How about tomorrow night?
- Tomorrow night?

Oh... shoot. I think I'm busy.

Let me do this.

Tomorrow it is.

No.

Mom?

Baby, what are you doing
up? Get back in bed.

Bed? It's morning.

I'm gonna miss the bus.

What?

I've-I've, uh...

I've been up all night?

Come on, come on. Get the...

Get-get, go, get your... Where's the...?

Oh.

Wow.

You know, high school reunion's

a very popular torture in Hell.

This is beautiful.

I... you know, you didn't
even try to look like Todd.

Well... well, why would I do that?

If I was Todd, I'd want to look like me.

Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh, look.

It's Emily and Bo,

Tristan and Jessica,

and there's Max talking to Isabel.

She is so not good
enough for him, really.

What did you just say?

Max and Isabel, two of our suspects.

Oh, oh!

The prom king and the sexpot.

Oh, Lucifer, don't judge.

They're so much more to these people

than their stereotypes suggest.

Right.

It's just, ugh.

Are you being serious?

Yeah. Yeah, the books are much deeper

than you'd imagine.

The characters, they're
so compelling and relatable

and rich, and I-I mean...

They're all here.

And one of them is most likely a killer.

Right.

- Right.
- Right.

Okay, I'm gonna go sign us in

so that we can finally meet the, um...

so we can question the suspects.

What is happening?

Okay, so we each have
three people to question.

Let's figure out who was worried about

Kathleen's book coming out.

Yes, and where everyone
was the night of the murder.

Oh, yeah.

Are you even listening to me?

- Mm-hmm.
- Do you know,

I can't believe I'm saying this,

but focus, Detective.

I need that afterword.

- Right, sorry.
- Right.

- Oh, my God.
- What?

It's Jessica.

Can you believe

that sophomore year, she
hooked up with Tristan

on the laserball field?

Don't worry, Jessica's on my list.

Okay, so, I'm the first one here.

I'll just go have a drink at the bar.

- Sure thing.
- Linda.

Amenadiel, what are you doing here?

Well, Maze invited me.

I thought she wanted to talk
after I stopped by yesterday.

Maze is setting me up on a blind date.

What if you are my blind date?

Well, that doesn't make any sense.

Unless she knows about us and
is trying to make us squirm.

And torture is her thing.

Linda,

this is Todd.

Your date.

Hello.

This is a blue lobelia.

Native Americans used
them to treat constipation.

Thank you.

But what are you two doing here?

Double date.

Isn't this great?

Hmm.

Yeah, uh, no...

Hi.

That's great.

Excuse us. Isabel.

Todd?

Odd-bod Todd?

Are...

I'm sorry. You...

just look so different.

I'll take that as a compliment.

Wow, I...

Do you have a British accent?

Well, I've had many
accents over the years,

but this one is clearly the best.

You're so funny and... so hot.

- I know.
- Mmm.

Uh, but I need to ask
you a few questions.

Sure. Let's catch up.

Can you believe Kathleen's
coming out with another book?

Oh, I believe it.

That bitch loved profiting off of us.

Ugh, she sucks.

But honestly, we're all,
uh, just trying to move on.

Man, those books ruined our lives.

I had to move to Maine.

Do you know what was in her last book?

What sparked her final idea?

The books are about you, correct?

- Oh, for...
- So, do you know

what happens in the new book?

Are there any big secrets

that come out or...

Does Isabel actually get pregnant?

Uh, who are you again?

What were you doing two nights ago?

I was... at home?

Doing a facial.

I was with Tristan.

I think.

I mean, by the time I flew
in, it was really late.

You're hiding something.

And I think I know what.

It's because you were with Bo,

and you didn't want Isabel to find out.

But, like, who cares what Isabel thinks?

Especially after what she
did to you in chemistry class?

I mean, do you realize you're
still lucky to have your hand?

It doesn't matter where
I was two nights ago.

What matters is that
tonight, we're together.

So where were you two nights ago?

Let's go talk somewhere
a little quieter.

Right.

Yeah, talk. Uh-huh.

You two have so much in common.

Yeah.

Linda, you're a therapist.

And, Todd,

you're in therapy.

Discuss.

Oh.

- You don't have to...
- I wet the bed.

It's more common than people think.

You're lovely.

I'm so glad she convinced me
to skip my reunion for this.

Most serial killers wet the bed.

I smell a love connection, don't you?

Let's crank this date up a notch.

Waiter.

Linda.

This is getting out of control.

We just have to get through
tonight. We can do it.

So, Todd.

Any hobbies?

I make my own toothpaste.

Where were you two nights ago?

Uh...

Come on, Tristan.

I can't remember.

Well, try.

I told you, man,

I don't, I don't remember where I was.

Oh!

Tell me the truth now.

Okay. A couple nights ago,

we all broke into the school pool.

You know, just a little party
before the party, you know?

Well, why is that a secret?

Because we didn't invite everyone.

Well, you, for instance.

What? I'm sorry, man.

If we knew how cool you had gotten,

we totally would've invited you.

So what you're saying is
you all have the same alibi?

Wasting our time here.

Where's the detective?

I dig you, Chloe.

You... you're different.

Too bad you didn't go
to high school with us.

Yeah.

That would have been great.

Yeah.

So, you were gonna tell me

where you were two nights ago?

Is that really what you
want to talk about, hmm?

Well, I mean,

I would really like to know.

Max!

What are you doing? Who is that?

- Uh...
- We were talking.

And what do you care?

You cheated on Max with Tristan.

That was 15 years ago.

- Actually, I am still kind of pissed...
- Right.

- about that.
- I'm sorry I cheated on you,

but I only did it because I
thought you slept with Emily.

I would never cheat on you, Jessica.

I know that now.

I read 3001.

It showed me how much
you really loved me.

You know, sometimes I think about

getting back together.

Mmm.

Me, too.

Oh.

What's going on here?

Max, I thought it was gonna be just us.

I'm not really down for a four-way.

Make that five.

I can't believe I'm saying
this, but I'm not down, either.

- Oh. So you were sleeping with Emily...
- Oh.

Weren't you? And then you
bring this rando in here, too?

- I'm not a "rando."
- I-I just met

- this rando.
- We are never...

- Hey.
- getting back together.

- You didn't tell her about us?
- Jessica, I...

- Us?
- Yes, us.

- That's what you said.
- I never said...

- Oh, really, Max?
- Anything like that to you.

Detective! None of these
people killed Kathleen.

- What?
- "Killed"?

- What?
- "Detective"?

I have discovered that they all

have the same alibi.

They broke onto the
campus two nights ago

and had a party by the pool.

Didn't you? Hmm?

So, Kathleen's killer, not here.

Look at me, being the responsible one.

So that's why you were
all acting so strangely.

Yeah.

Sorry we didn't invite
you, Todd, but, uh...

you're not mad, right?

You were hanging out
with Kathleen anyway.

What?

Todd was hanging out

with Kathleen two nights ago?

Yeah, it's what he said in the e-mail.

I did? I...

What? He was an awesome math tutor,

and now he helps me with my taxes.

Detective.

I think I'm the killer.

Apparently, Maze took Todd
to a steakhouse in Hollywood.

It is an odd place for a
kidnapping, even for Maze.

And what motive would
Todd have to kill Kathleen?

- He's not even in the books.
- Well, exactly.

Odd-bod Todd's probably
tired of being left out.

Oh, right, should have thought of that.

Yes, you should have,

but someone was making the
case all about themselves.

Slightly unprofessional,
but I forgive you, Detective.

I know. I can't believe I let myself

get so wrapped up in all of that.

Think I was just trying to make up

for all the fun, teenage drama
that I missed out on, you know?

I didn't even get to go to my own prom.

It's ridiculous, I know.

No, it's not.

And that's the best way to
clean out an abscessed tooth.

How delightful.

I am so glad we did this.

I have missed you guys.

I mean...

what's not to miss, right?

Mmm.

- Mmm.
- Okay, stop.

Uh, that's inappropriate.

We're in a restaurant, Maze.

Who cares?

I care. I mean, I'm just...

it ju... it just makes me uncomfortable.

Oh, it does?

Well, does this make
you uncomfortable, too?

Maze!

Maze! Why are you acting like this?

Because she knows.

You know, don't you?

And you're torturing us.

That is so incredibly mean.

I'm the one who's mean?

You're the ones who've
been running around,

lying to me about this fling for weeks.

Of course we lied, Maze. Look at you.

You have a tendency to overreact.

I do not...

- overreact.
- Maze.

- Can we just calm down here?
- No!

No.

I will not take orders from
some pathetic daddy's boy.

Tell me, Amenadiel.

Is this the divine purpose
your Father sent you here for?

So you can bang

some... selfish human?

Selfish? Selfish?

All I do is listen to your problems!

Everyone's problems!

So, yeah, for once, I put myself first

and did what makes me happy.

So, sue me. Or torture
me. Or better yet,

why don't you just skewer
me with one of your knives?

But before you do,

know that this wasn't some fling,

that what Amenadiel and I found

was completely unexpected,

but 100% real.

But you were my friend.

Maze?

LAPD, drop the weapons.

Yes, I indeed visited
Kathleen two nights ago.

The night she was murdered.

Kathleen was murdered?

Oh, my.

And y-you think I did it.

Of course you do.

The weirdo.

The outcast.

I'm used to people judging
this book by its cover.

That's why I swore off social media.

I still don't even know how
Kathleen tracked me down.

Kathleen tracked you down?

She wanted to discuss

the final installment
of her series with me.

Well, why would she
talk about that with you?

You're not even in the books.

Yeah. I was surprised, too.

Turns out, not only was
she going to include me

in the final book,

she was making me the hero.

Wait, h-hold on, does that
mean she let you read the book?

Uh, no.

She didn't want me to read it yet.

Kathleen was waiting for the reunion.

She was excited about
finishing it in time

to show everyone there.

So you have no idea
what's in the afterword?

The afterword? No.

But she did tell me
about the story itself.

How it had

a peaceful, grounded ending.

No scandals, no
insiders versus outcasts.

Just...

people finally understanding each other.

The way she described it, it...

it sounded beautiful.

- And boring.
- And not at all like

the action-packed robot ending

that the editor told us about.

I smell a new theory brewing.

I got to go make a phone call.

Mr. Green.

Hi, uh, Detective Decker, LAPD.

Detective, how can I help you?

Um, I was just wondering,

did Kathleen ever talk to you

about working with a ghostwriter?

A ghostwriter? No, wish she had.

Maybe she would have
finished the book sooner.

Oh, I see.

So-so, she never mentioned
a-a fan-fic writer

named Ashley Collins?

He's a-a manager at an ice cream shop.

I think the name's Scoop Science.

Actually, yeah, Kathleen
did mention some sort

of overeager fan who invented
some special flavor for her.

Kind of creeped her out.

Wh-Why are you asking?

Is this Ashley a suspect?

Oh, well, I can't divulge any
of that information at this time.

But you've been incredibly
helpful, Mr. Green.

Thank you.

You in the mood for some ice cream?

Hello, Vincent.

Looking for Ashley? Sorry to disappoint.

- What are you doing here?
- Drop the gun.

You're under arrest for
the murder of Kathleen Pike.

You lied to us, Vincent.

I called Ashley. He confirmed

that the robot ending was his
version and not Kathleen's.

- Th-That means nothing.
- But it is suspicious.

So I looked at traffic footage.

You went to Kathleen's house
the night of the murder.

But, Detective, didn't
he tell us he didn't go

over there till the next morning?

Fine. Yes, I was at
Kathleen's that night.

If you had waited five years
for that damn book like I did,

you wouldn't want to wait
another second for it either.

But once you got it, you
didn't like what you read,

- did you?
- I was horrified.

She ended the series in the
most boring way possible.

And you were worried about the sales.

We'd lose millions

without the right ending. Ashley's.

So you and Kathleen argued
over which one to use.

She refused to use the good version.

So, yeah, I threw her
stupid typewriter at her.

But even with Kathleen gone, you knew

that you couldn't publish
Ashley's ending as hers.

So you came here to tie
up the one loose end.

Now, tell me, Vincent...

Kathleen's manuscript,

where is it?

I don't have it.

I destroyed it.

You did what?

I couldn't let anybody read
that pathetic joke of an ending!

But I needed to read the afterword

so I could fix my problem,

- and now you're saying it's gone?!
- Lucifer,

back off.

What did it say?

- The afterword?
- Yes!

How did she fix her block?

I don't know! She said inspiration came

when she realized she couldn't go back

and change what she'd done.

Well, that doesn't help me at all!

Lucifer, stop!

Now I'm never gonna figure out how to...

Are you okay?

No, Detective.

Far from it.

Remind me to never go on
another blind date ever again.

Mm-mm. Oh, I don't know,

I thought you and Todd
really made a connection.

Okay, so I've been thinking.

- Yeah.
- A lot.

Pretty crazy what Maze did.

I'll say.

But she was right.

We never should have lied to her.

And I never should have lied to myself.

Yourself?

What do you mean?

As much as I tried to
tell myself otherwise,

I knew what we were doing
was going to hurt her.

And I did it anyway.

That's how much I wanted
to be with you, Amenadiel.

Look, you've made me
happier than I've been

in a long, long time.

But...

I was being selfish.

Maze is my friend.

I can't be with you anymore.

Not when it does this to her.

You know, it's not fair for
her to take this away from us.

I know. I don't expect
you to understand.

But I don't want to
be that kind of person.

It's just not who I am.

Actually, I do understand.

Um...

I may have strayed
from who I am as well.

So I guess this is it.

I guess so.

Lucifer!

I'm here.

- You wanted to see me?
- Yes,

I wanted to check on you.

That you were back to
being the good detective.

"The good detective"?

Mm. Well, I like our
partnership much better

when you do all the work and
I'm the fun, irresponsible one.

Oh. Yeah.

I did get a little carried
away at that reunion.

Just a smidge.

Y-You know, it made
me realize something.

All of that high school
drama that I missed out on...

The-the girly gossip,

the hallway crushes,

all those school dances...

That's just not who I am. I...

I like being the responsible adult.

Right.

So you no longer desire any
of that high school poppycock?

No.

Well then...

I guess you won't be wanting this.

Detective...

will you go to the prom with me?

I can't believe you did this.

Thank you, Lucifer.

I'm just glad you got what you needed.

But you, you never
found that inspiration

that you were looking for.

Are you ever gonna tell me what
it is you were trying to solve?

Uh, it's-it's complicated.

Well, tell me anyhow?

Very well.

A long time ago,

dear old Dad put a curse on a...

well, a friend of mine.

And I want to break that curse,

show my Father He's not
as powerful as He thinks,

that He can't control him.

Or me.

Well, crazy metaphor aside,

can I offer some advice?

Oh... please.

If I've learned anything
from this experience,

it's that it's better to move forward

than stay stuck in the past.

It's just like Kathleen realized.

We can't rewrite history.

You can't.

But maybe I can.

Detective, you're a genius.

Thanks?

You've just given me my idea.

All I need to do is go back

and undo the reason it
exists in the first place.

Oh.

Thank you.

- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
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