All language subtitles for (2012)KilljoyGoesToHell

(suspenseful music)

(heavy breathing)

I'd say another year,
this is all desert, dirty.

What's this?

Oh my!

Oh, my lucky stars!

He has been looking
for you. (Laughing)

(electric zapping)
(bubbling liquid)

My payment, and don't be stingy.

(whimpering)

Good, good.

Fresh.

Flesh for flesh, fallen
angel, demon jester,

master of disgrace, Killjoy,

the "I" incarnate.

(dramatic music)

(laughing)

Oh, oh!
(bones cracking)

Why have you
summoned me, maggot?

(laughing)

I didn't summon you.

(dramatic music)

(laughing)

This is awkward.

(electric zapping)
(screaming)

[Monitor] How do you plead?

How do I plead?

What the fuck do you
mean how do I plead?

This is your arraignment.

Arraignment?

I'm on trial? (Laughing)

What court could try me?

Don't you know who I am?

Who are you?

(electric zapping)
(screaming)

How do you plead,
innocent or guilty?

What are you talking about?

I'm Killjoy, I'm guilty
as hell! (Laughing)

(electric zapping)
(screaming)

(intense music)

(Sandie laughing)

All still missing.

(Sandie laughing)

But we found a hell of a lot
of Zilla's blood on the carpet.

And on you.

(Sandie laughing)

Do you think that's funny?

It isn't that simple.

Three years ago, I was the
first officer on the scene,

when I showed up, she was
covered in Zilla's blood.

DNA also shows splatter
of her boyfriend's blood.

[Ericson] Calm down, Grimley.

We know she did it,
and she just laughs.

It isn't that
simple, detective.

Look, is this an interrogation?

[Ericson] No.

[Simmons] Do I need to
get a lawyer for my patient?

No, no, we just need to
ask her a few questions.

We want to find the rest
of the students' bodies

so their families can
have some closure.

Look at her, no remorse.

Detective, please.

I don't think you really
understand what's going on here.

I still want to
talk to her, alone.

Just a moment, I've
got to show you this.

This is a normal brain,
of someone laughing.

And this, is your
suspect, my patient.

It's similar to
the laughing one.

So that's when
she laughs, so what?

No, this is her brain all
the time, even when she sleeps.

There's constant
neural activity,

that's similar to
that of laughter,

in appearance, anyway.

It's like that all the time.

Every second.

Is this your defense?

You don't think she could do it

because she's got a
case of the giggles?

It's not my job to defend,
but to treat my patient.

Listen, I don't know if Sandie
killed those kids or not,

but I can't imagine anyone
being functional in this state.

She's a mental invalid.

Doc, what could do
something like this?

I don't know, my first
thought was a tumor, then drugs.

But her brain is
clean, she's clean.

Except for the shitstorm in
her noggin, she's normal.

That doesn't
answer the question.

I don't have an answer
for you, I don't know.

[Grimley] Doesn't
goddamn matter.

She was found mentally
unfit to stand trial.

The perp got away with
murder by reason of insanity.

But I don't think she wants
to get away with anything.

Sandie waived her right to
doctor-patient confidentiality.

She wants you to talk to me.

She wants to talk to you.

(Sandie laughing)

[Ericson] Just relax I'm not
gonna ask about your friends.

You see, my colleagues don't
think it pertains to the case.

But I'm fascinated.

You could say this thing
I wanna ask you about

has become my new obsession.

At the scene of the crime,

we found a large
amount of material.

Mostly crazy lists of
names, all ancient-sounding,

like something out
of a comic book.

You see I've taken up the
reading through that pile,

the professor's notes,
his computer files,

even his publications
going 10 years back.

I thought, maybe I'll
be able to find a clue.

(Sandie laughing)

I'm no expert, but after
a while I begin to feel

that all these names
belong to one demon.

One name stuck out
like a sore thumb.

One name didn't fit because
it just didn't sound old.

And I tell you what.

I heard it before,
when I was a kid.

I thought it was just an urban
legend in the neighborhood.

Shocked the shit
out of me when it

now turned up in the
professor's notes.

Sandie, look at me.

What could you tell
me about Killjoy?

(Sandie laughing)

(intense music)

Wait, wait a
second, where are we?

What happened to my hair,
who the hell are you?

I'm the bailiff.

[Killjoy] What? Whoa!

(elevator music)

Hey, big guy.

Hey, mister bailiff,
where are we going?

We're going down.

(suspenseful music)

Look, how long is this
gonna take, exactly?

(intense music)

(bell dings)

Oh! Oh!

Come on, what the fuck!

[Bailiff] Kneel for the
honorable Judge Beelzebub.

(distant wailing and moaning)

What the hell?

Indeed.

I demand to know what the...

You can demand nothing.

You are here to stand trial.

Trial? What for,
what did I do wrong?

What haven't you done wrong?

Scribe.

The defendant is indicted
on the following charges,

incompetence,
ineptitude, inadequacy,

and a general lack of evilness.

The defendant stands accused
in the grievous lapse

of his duties as the standing
member of the demon realm.

Unworthy of a listing
on the canon scroll.

Who accuses me?

[Jezabeth] I do! I
bring these charges.

Bazoomba!

I'm Jezabeth, the D.A.

The District Attorney, huh?

No, Devil's Advocate.

I'll be prosecuting you.

Okay.

Do you have anything
to say for yourself?

I do. I'm Killjoy!

(dramatic music)

(laughing)

(hammer squeaking)

Okay, what the hell
happened to my powers?

Where's my hammer?

You have no powers, you
pathetic laughing stock.

So this is malice buffoon?

The famous clown-hammer...

But, it's mine!

Silence.

You will be tried
for your indictment.

We will adjourn until
you get your witnesses

and your evidence.

If nothing else, this
will be fun. (Laughing)

(Killjoy groaning)

You know, Sandie, you
never talked about Killjoy.

After my little meeting
with the detectives,

I'm beginning to think
there's more to that subject.

Would you like to
tell me about it?

(laughing) Would I like
to tell you about it?

Sure, maybe I'll just laugh
in your face. (Laughing)

Now you're just
clowning around.

(laughing) Clowning
around, that's it.

Clowning around...

Did Killjoy
murder your friends?

(laughing) Yes, yes.

It was, it was Killjoy?

But Sandie, Killjoy isn't real.

(laughing) I knew
you would say that.

No one will believe what
really happened. (Laughing)

No one will believe a hysterical
little girl. (Laughing)

Okay, okay.

Let's say for argument's
sake that I believe you.

Killjoy the clown
murdered your friends.

(laughing) Yeah,
yeah. (Laughing)

So how come you were
the only one that escaped?

(laughing)

Laughter, is that
the key, right?

That's why you're laughing?

You're laughing to protect
yourself from a killer clown?

So why does that work?

Because that's what you're
supposed to do to a clown.

[Simmons] Sure, you're
supposed to laugh at a clown.

But nobody would
laugh at Killjoy.

[Sandie] Yeah, nobody
would laugh at Killjoy.

(laughing) That would be insane.

Yeah, that would be, insane.

(buttons beeping)

(phone ringing)

Ericson here.

Detective.

Yes, Dr. Simmons.

You got something for me?

I think you should continue

to look into this Killjoy thing.

You think Killjoy did it?

[Simmons] I don't know if
it's all in her mind or not.

But even if it is
her imagination,

I think she truly believes

that this demon clown
killed her friends.

It might be another personality.

Regardless, the patient's
constant laughter

is a way of
suppressing this thing.

And I think the professor's
research holds the keys.

Well, I'm way
ahead of you there.

I'm becoming a virtual
expert on the subject.

The problem is, if Sandie's
suffering from delusions,

then the professor shared it.

[Simmons] What do you mean,
detective, explain that to me.

[Ericson] The professor
had a son, Michael.

They were estranged.

Before they reunited,
Michael was murdered.

This happened 13 years ago.

By Killjoy?

[Ericson] No, by gang members.

See, the professor seemed to
believe that his son Michael

was possessed by this demon.

That's interesting.

You think so? It gets better.

Indulge me.

Coincidentally, those
same gang members,

who probably killed Michael,

were murdered a year later.

No suspects?

No, not at the time, but
as strange as it seems,

I think we finally found
our person of interest.

(distant moaning)

Oh, oh that reeks.

I don't remember that
one sneaking out.

[Skid] Oh no,
no! No open flames!

What the...

Mr. Killjoy, sir.

Who the fuck are you?

Oh, I'm your biggest
fan, my name's Skid.

Mr. Killjoy, sir?

How the hell did
you get in here?

I can poof in and
out of many places.

It's one of two powers I have.

Yeah, well, that's great, kid.

Skid, it's Skid.

Kid, Skid, all I
know is, you stink!

You smell like a human, a
little too fresh for my taste.

I'm sorry about
that, sir, I'm new.

Just became demonic.

Oh, well that's just
great, just what I need,

a newbie, a convert, huh?

I was born a demon, I
was created a Prince.

But now, look at me,
this is pathetic!

How humiliating.

Where are my powers, huh?

I should be able to teleport,
too, but look at this!

Look at this!

Look, look at this, look
at this, look at this!

Nothing! Nothing...

You lost your mojo, sir,
you have no more powers.

But I'm motherfucking Killjoy.

Oh, you are
majestic, my liege.

So magnificent, stellar,
special, sublime!

[Killjoy] Yes, I am
all of those things,

you little shit stain,
what do you want?

I want to be you.

What?

I mean, I want to be just
like you, I could never be you,

so powerful, impressive,
monumental, svelte, endowed...

Alright, I get it, alright?

What do you want, my
autograph or something?

I kinda want to help.

(laughing)

You? (Laughing)

You help me?

(laughing)

How?

I'm your attorney.

Really?

Somebody get me out of
here, get me out of here!

So that about does
it for the strategy.

Remember, you have
to plead not guilty,

for all of these charges, you
are definitely not innocent.

Yeah yeah yeah, I got
that already, what else?

[Skid] Witnesses.

[Killjoy] What?

Witnesses, you know,
like character references.

Look, I'm not gonna exactly
win any popularity contests,

alright, what are
they gonna testify?

They're gonna testify
how evil you are.

Remember, you're on trial for
being too much of a softie.

You're mushy, ineffective,
uncommitted, and impotent.

Aright, alright, I
get the point already!

Too human!

On your last incarnation,

you summoned a posse
of three demons.

These demons are the
only witnesses to
your latest failure.

Yeah, well, they
were all destroyed.

And I don't have
enough power, or flesh,

to incarnate them again.

Don't worry about
that, they're demons.

They can be resurrected with
a sacrifice or something.

Look, I've got enough human
blood in me to get the job done.

I'll pay for it, and you
just summon them back up.

Yeah, good.

That's good, Squid, or
whatever the hell your name is.

No sweat, and it's Skid.

[Killjoy] Right, Squid.

Alright, here goes nothing.

Flesh for flesh.

Come on, come on, there's
only a little left.

(laughing) You were explosive.

That's just my demonic
powers. (Laughing)

I gotta be careful when
I fart, know what I mean?

(laughing)

[Killjoy] Yeah, sure.

[Skid] It's all yours.

I summon thee, Punchy!

(dramatic music)

(laughing)

I conjure thee, Freakshow!

(dramatic music)

Ahh, excellent.

(speaking gibberish)

Yeah, yeah, don't
think anything of it,

you big worthless piece of shit.

And you, don't even come
over here and touch me,

you're freaking me out, okay?

Alright, alright, you know what,

I'll hug your little brother.

He's the better of the
two of you. (Gasping)

And that is grosser
than holy sharts, man!

What happened to the
little guy, the Kuato?

You know who I'm talking about?

Yeah, yeah, alright, hey, it's
no problem, I'll just make...

Oh, no no no no no!

There's only enough
of that for three.

So?

What about Batty Boop?

That rectal canker, you
think I want her back?

She's a pain in the ass!

[Skid] She's the only
one who can really speak.

She can talk,
she's the best one.

Oh, I hate you
for being right.

Sorry Freakshow.

Ugh, I conjure thee, Batty Boop.

Come on out, you crazy bitch.

(dramatic music)

Boo-ya!

(laughing)

Hey, baby how you doing?

Snookums!

You won!

You beat the kids.

You defeated the professor.

You ate his soul and
gained his powers.

And now you're free
to roam the earth,

and cause turmoil
and destruction,

and you want me to join you.

Right?

Not exactly.

Oh, exactly what happened?

Well, sort of
kind of exactly...

I'm on trial for
failure of my mission,

letting one of the victims go,

and just you know, a
general lack of evilness.

What?

Batty, I lost my powers, babe.

Aww, you poor baby.

(yelping)

[Killjoy] What
the fuck, Batty?

You snapped your fingers
and blew me to pieces,

after all I done for you.

So I'm sorry, alright?

Sorry? Was that any
way to treat a lady?

(laughing)

[Killjoy] You a lady?
That's a good one.

No, no, no, don't, don't, don't!

You're pathetic.

I ain't doing nothing for you.

I'm out of here.

Come on, Batty, baby!

Come on, baby, come on back!

Oh, don't worry about her.

I'll talk her into it.

You just get ready for
your first court session.

See you there. (Farts)

I got this.

Ms. Boop? Ms. Boop?

Ms. Boop? Ms. Boop? Ms. Boop!

Ms. Boop? Ms. Boop?

What the hell do
you want, squirt?

Can I just ask
you some questions

about your old boyfriend?

No, I don't like him no more.

Oh, okay I know.

But could you do it
for old time's sake?

Do I know you?

Perhaps in a past life?

In your dreams, Romeo.

Ms. Boop, I'm
your biggest fan.

Could you just answer some
questions about my client?

You know, for old time's sake?

Yes, alright for
old time's sake.

I do have some good memories
with the whack bastard.

I wanna know all
of Killjoy's tricks.

I wanna know everything.

(intense music)

(banging)

Order, order!

Court is now in session.

Let's get to it.

Did you get your witness?

Yes, your honor.

You may start, my dear.

Killjoy...

I object!

To what?

I don't know, I guess I
just got a little excited.

Do you even know
what you're doing?

Keep it in your
pants, or else.

Or else?

(zapping)

[Beelzebub] I saw
that in a movie once.

I could do that all day.

Go on, my dear.

Killjoy, king of
the trickster gods,

the royal jester of hell,

he has been tormenting
humanity from the beginning.

But somewhere in history,
the accused has become...

a joke.

Whereas previously,
Killjoy would strike terror

with his macabre tricks.

He is now laughed at.

The one that got away.

The what? The who?

Silence!

Killjoy, once a god of skill,
wisdom, and intelligence...

Once?

Now a pathetic clown.

Can Killjoy fill those
very, very big shoes?

Aww man.

Perhaps the realm is ready
for a new trickster king,

a new harlequin,
a new top clown.

No!

Killjoy is known
by many names.

And he is worthy of none.

Agreed.

Scribe...

(dramatic music)

What just happened?

Once a name is crossed,
it's gone forever.

What happened to
confession before punishment?

This is Hell, punishment
is part of the process.

Was it more than
you anticipated?

Counselor?

Oh boy, my turn.

Ladies and germs,
devils and demons,

my client Killjoy
didn't do nothing!

[Killjoy] What are you doing?

I know, that's why he's here.

I mean he's innocent.

Fuck!

No, I'm evil! Say I'm evil!

I mean you couldn't
ask for a nicer guy.

I think that's the problem.

Well put, Counselor.

Thank you.

Oh, just shut up.

Just goddamn motherfucking
shut your mouth.

What I meant to say...

Counselor, sit down.

I don't want this trial
to end before it starts.

Do you even know what
the fuck you're doing?

I'm sorry, I just
got a little nervous.

Oh, if I had my powers,
I would pie you so hard.

(groaning)

Damn it, not even a cupcake.

Where'd you get your degree
anyway, correspondence school?

Oh, hell no.

Ah, good.

I got it online.

They took life-experience
as credit.

Okay Sandie, we're not gonna

assume that you're the killer.

Just tell us what
happened that night.

(laughing) You really
wanna know what happened?

Yes.

(laughing) As
crazy as it sounds?

Yes, as bat-shit
crazy as it sounds.

Just tell us what happened
that night, as you saw it.

Answer the question.

Damn, he's useless.
He can't even talk.

Doesn't the court
understand that?

The court doesn't care.

I will assume that the
witness' refusal to speak,

his silence, is an admission
of the defendant's guilt.

I object! That
doesn't make any sense!

Yeah, he's a mime!

This is bullshit, it's not fair.

Now you're getting it.

You know, if we had
Freakshow's brother,
he could talk.

But we couldn't bring him back.

Why not?

We didn't have enough
flesh, your honor.

Too bad.

Bailiff!

Scribe, strike another
name off the register.

(screaming)

Make it two.

(groaning)

Those things will shorten
your lifespan, detective.

So will working
the graveyard shift.

Make your point.

[Grimley] Now that I don't
have a beat on the night shift,

I got time to spare.

Watch your count, detective.

Those things kill more
people than bullets do.

What do you think about
that nut-job's story.

Well, clearly it's tunes.

But I think she
really believes it.

No way.

[Ericson] At least
she's cooperating with us.

Even if it is a fantasy.

[Grimley] Maybe just looks
like she's cooperating.

The girl is singing
and I'm gonna listen.

As long as she blabs, we're
getting information out of her.

Fuck it, maybe you're right.

So how do you wanna proceed?

Proceed like it's
a true account.

Track down some leads.

Now we look crazy.

Who's the suspect?

Killjoy.

Accomplices?

- Punchy.
- Sounds tough.

- Freakshow.
- Puss.

And Batty Boop, the
suspect's girlfriend.

Kinky. (Laughing)

Any aliases?

Yeah, 50 of them.

I thought it was 53.

Really, 53?

Hold on, I've got
three files missing.

So what?

They weren't before.

This is weird.

Do you remember the names?

I think we've
gotta talk to Sandie.

Alright, when?

[Ericson] As soon as possible.

(intense music)

[Jezabeth] Punchy the clown...

Created by Killjoy...

Incarnated with the spirit
of the demon Behemoth.

My, you are a big
boy, aren't you?

Where were you on the
night in question?

(speaking gibberish)

I'm sorry, I
didn't catch that.

(speaking gibberish)

I still don't understand,
what language is he speaking?

He only speaks Carnie.

[Beelzebub] Is there anyone
here that speaks Carnie?

Great.

Does anyone here speak Mime?

Or can play charades very well?

Oh me, me! I love charades!

Or as the Romans say, Pantomime.

Continue with
your cross, please.

Punchy, you were with Killjoy
on the night in question?

(speaking gibberish)

Yes.

And it was your
job to help Killjoy

acquire those nubile young
souls of these teenagers?

(speaking gibberish)

- Yes...
- Yes, yes!

Just say yes, he just did
the same friggin thing!

Briefly, tell
me what happened.

(speaking gibberish)

We had a really fun
time with the kids.

We gave them a yummy dinner.

And Killjoy was a nice host.

What?

(speaking gibberish)

Yup, that's correct.

Are you sure that's
exactly what he said?

Yeah, sure.

Damn it, he must be
still mad about his

shitty work
conditions, long hours,

and lack of health insurance.

Well, it sounds like
things were downright rosy.

That does not fit the
personality requirements
of a hellion.

At least, not to the
standard of an evil demon.

No more questions.

Fine.

But, but, but I am evil!

Let me prove it to you!

Order!
(banging)

Scribe.

(groaning)

I'm fading, I'm fading fast.

Counselor, your turn.

No, no, no questions alright?

My grave is getting
deeper by the minute.

No questions, your honor.

So be it.

(growling)

Who's the next witness?

The court summons
the succubus clown,

Ms. Batty Boop.

(sexy music)

(grunting)

Almost perfect.

(laughing) Clown...

Fuck off.

So...

You're Batty Boop.

Batty, Batty Boop.

Yeah, that's my name,
don't wear it out.

Ms. Boop, tell us about your
relationship with Mr. Joy.

That's Killjoy!

Emphasis on the kill part.

I guess he's my boyfriend.

I mean, I think
he's a dreamboat.

He's so evil.

Thank you, Batty.

But that was
before I caught him

frolicking with his
prey, little Ms co-ed.

He was actually
gonna do it with her.

It?

Sex.

[Beelzebub] Yeah, so?

Consensual sex.

No...

Consensual sex?

You know what that leads to.

Cuddling.

But she was a virgin.

A minor point in your favor.

Continue.

What happened
after you caught him

with that human?

Then fish-poop over there

decided he didn't
want me no more.

He snapped his fingers
and blew me to pieces.

Then what? What
did the bastard do?

He made a splendid
feast for her.

The main course,
tell the court

about the main course, Batty!

Silence.

He just threw
you away didn't he?

Yeah.

Like a piece of tissue paper.

Yeah.

He just blew his wad in you,

and threw you over his shoulder.

Yeah.

- No calls.
- Yeah.

- No letters.
- Yeah.

No emails.

What?

Oh, man.

Oh, man what?

I just recognized her.

Yeah, it's me!

After all we went through.

I'm gonna nail you, sucker.

Dog-breath, what's
she talking about?

(laughing) Batty, it was
before I met you, okay?

It was a wild week
of drunkenness,

a ton of sex and drugs...

It was a good time at first,

but then I realized that I was

wasting my time not
concentrating on the things

that I really loved.

You dropped me
like a bad habit.

You were a bad habit!

So addictive and needy!

The first chance I saw, I
got the hell out of there.

So that's your M.O.

Fool around with the girl,

get her hopes up
and then ditch her.

Batty, Batty I shouldn't
have blown you up, okay?

You know I could've brought
you back at any time.

That's not good enough.

Who'd you leave me for?

I didn't leave you, I
just kind of vaporized you.

And for your information,
there is nobody else.

There isn't?

No, there isn't, I promise.

What do you want from me, Batty?

You know what I want.

Alright, alright Batty, okay.

I apologize, alright?

I'm sorry, there I said
it, are you happy now?

Very sweet, very sweet indeed.

What a nice apology.

Did I just apologize?

[Skid] Yep.

In public?

[Beelzebub] Yes, you did.

What a humble, noble,
thoughtful thing to do.

Oh, shit.

I didn't mean to do that.

I mean, that's not what
I wanted to happen.

Not evil! He's not evil.

I don't accept it.

I don't accept the apology.

Too late, Scribe,
that will be 20 names.

(dramatic music)

No, no, no, no.

(groaning)

(gasping)

I've had enough for the day.

The next session will be.

Killjoy on the stand.

Court is dismissed.

[Bailiff] All rise!

Well, that was a disaster.

What do we do next?

I don't know.

You're next.

(phone ringing)

[Simmons] Hello?

Dr. Simmons?

[Simmons] Detective,
it's very late.

Is something wrong?

You could say that.

We need to see you at
your office right now.

[Simmons] Alright, I'll be
there as soon as I can, bye.

Hello there.

I think I have something
you're looking for.

But first, you need
to give me something.

(moaning)

Oh, I see.

You like my magic mirror?

You can use it if you like.

But I need something in return.

Come to Mama!

(laughing)

(intense music)

I say we take them
all by storm, now!

But the guards,
they're too strong.

We could take them if
we all work together.

Remember, together.
Together.

Nonsense, you
rat-faced buffoon.

We let the trial play out.

It's time for a new
top clown around here.

We've decided to leave
Killjoy to the fates.

Even if he survives the
trial, they'll snuff him out.

If he survives,
we'll follow him.

Make sure nobody
stabs him in the back.

Yeah, it should be our
decision, the whole lot of us.

(laughter)

Ridiculous.

So, you think you can
start a little club

and upset the apple cart?

Go ahead, pie the little fuck!

(laughing)

[Clown] Punchy!

That's right, motha-fucka.

Punchy the clown,
baddest mofo there is.

But, but a harlequin
can't get hit with a pie!

And a hobo can't prey
on another clown.

That's the way it is.

That's the way it's always been.

(splattering)

[Clown] So boss,
what's the plan?

Plan?

I'm dying out there.

What the hell is my
lawyer good for anyway?

My ass actually hurts.

I need an enema. I
need a beer enema.

I need a beer enema
and Jello shot.

That's what I need. Batty!

You look surprised to see me.

[Killjoy] Surprised?

You hung me out
to dry out there.

Hey, I was just
speaking my mind.

Didn't take you
too long did it?

Kiss my ass.

I was trying to help you...

Yeah? You could've fooled me.

I'm getting killed out there.

My lawyer is useless.

Half of my names have
just disappeared.

I can't remember any of them.

Look, I'm fading,
Batty, I'm fading fast.

I know, Snookums,
it don't look good.

And you don't got any powers.

I know, I know.

I'm helpless. I can't
do shit, alright?

I need help.

I need you Batty.

That's all I wanted to hear.

I've got a plan.

What? You have a plan?

[Batty] Yeah, don't
act so surprised.

Alright, alright,
just what is it?

I'm gonna go get the mortal.

The mortal? The mortal?

[Batty] Yeah, the mortal.

The mortal? The girl, yes.

The one that got away.

That's right, the virgin.

Yeah, the virgin is the reason

that I'm here in
the first place.

The virgin is the reason
I don't have any powers.

I can still hear her
in here, you know?

Laughing all the time,
she doesn't stop.

I don't know how she does it.

She's our next witness, okay?

And she's the only one that
can give you your powers back.

We gotta call her to the stand.

Fat chance of that.

She'll be the first
to condemn me.

She'll rake me over the coals.

And she'll laugh
the entire time.

Then you're gonna have to
find some way to convince her.

Ah, I don't know.

How do you plan on getting
up there anyway, huh?

The magic elevator?

Guess what, you
need a key for that.

I don't know yet.

Freakshow, you ready?

Ah, I get it, you
miss your brother, huh?

You want a prosthetic
conjoined twin, huh?

You want a bionic brother now.

Stand back, I got this.

(laughing)

Just like new.

Mommy.

That was
disgusting. (Laughing)

You've got her
spit in your hole.

That's gross, man.

[Batty] What?

A mirror?

A magic mirror?

A mirror with saggy
titties and you...

Oh, a mirror, the magic
mirror at the old hag's.

Yeah, that's it.

Freakshow and I are
gonna go get that girl.

We'll use the old hag's damn
mirror for transportation.

Excellent.

Why did you leave Jezabeth?

Who?

The D.A.

You were with her,
way before me.

And she's stunning.

[Killjoy] Batty, look at me.

I left her for you.

(emotional music)

(Batty moaning)

(laughing)

See you in court.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, hey Batty?

Where's Punchy?

Punchy? He's putting
together a plan.

(laughing)

Punchy? Plan?

So, you come up
with a plan yet, boss?

(sighing)

Killjoy's lost his mojo.

I don't see how he can
get out of this one.

Unless he has a
trick up his sleeve.

I don't think
he's got any tricks.

That's it.

We give him a bag of tricks.

He don't need no
powers with those.

(speaking gibberish)

Good idea.

Alright clowns, you've
all gotta contribute.

One trick each.

How do you work this thing?

I lost the remote.

Great, what do we do now?

How about technical support?

Not that again.

Good thinking there,
fish lips. Plug it in.

(beeping)

There she is.

Okay, I'll input the route.

What?

There's not enough bars.

You need more power
or a different mode.

Oh, that's right,
clown mode compression.

The same one used in
those little clown cars.

Let's go.

[Hag] Come back in one piece.

I want to have a chance to
play with your new attachment.

Mommy.

[Radio] Jim, bring patient 256

to my office as soon as you can.

[Jim] Copy that. Out.

(knocking at door)

Come In.

Thank you doc, for seeing
us on such short notice.

Something extremely
weird Is going on here.

We're losing
evidence like crazy.

[Simmons] Yeah,
me too, detectives.

I share your concern.

I've already asked security
to bring Sandie to my office.

(knocking at door)

Ms. Giggles? Wake up.

Someone's here to see you.

(laughing)

(booming)

What the hell...

(whooshing)

The hell Is that?

(rapid knocking)

(suspenseful music)

What the hell?

(shrieking)

(screaming)

(gasping)

Show us your
computer files, doc.

All references to Killjoy's
names are disappearing.

I can't even remember
what they are.

See, this is
happening to me too.

I only know that
something is missing.

What's taking your
security guy so long?

Jim, Jim do you copy?

Jim, Jim do you copy, Jim?

Should we call 911?

I am 911.

Ericson?

You there?

(suspenseful music)

Damn, who put this up?

How'd they put it up?

[Batty] Do you like it?

Maybe it should be
a little higher.

Don't move. Put your
hands on your head.

Oh, brother. You're gonna
pull that routine on me?

Get on the ground.
Kiss the floor.

(moaning)

(gunshot)

(gunshot)

(groaning)

(suspenseful music)

(screaming)

(Sandie laughing)

What are you?

If we had more time,

we'd have a lot of fun.

But I'm here on business.

(hissing)

(laughing)

It's fucking true.

What do I do?

Run.

Run!

(laughing nervously)

(sighing)

You can't hurt me. (Laughing)

I'm laughing.

I'm laughing at you.

I ain't gonna hurt you.

Yet.

How about that?
Kicking and screaming.

Jim? Jim do you copy?

Jim, where are you? Jim?

I'm gonna go help your partner.

I don't think he knows
where they're at.

(beeping)

(suspenseful music)

(whispering) Oh, shit...

Jim?

Shit...

(ominous music)

(beeping)

Grimley?

(laughter)

Grimley?
(laughter)

(laughter)

[Baby] Mommy.

(dramatic music)

(hissing)

(chuckling)

(screaming)

Kill. Joy.

(knocking)

[Killjoy] Who is
it? What do you want?

[Beelzebub] I want to
show you something, Killjoy.

Beelzebub?

What's that?

A little insurance.

Would you like to
know what's in it?

Oh, I would.

There'll be time
for that later.

Come with me.

(grinding)

(slamming)

Come on, I'm gonna take
you on a little trip.

It might be the last
time you get out.

(slamming)

(beeping)

(whooshing)

Where are we going?

To a very special place.

So, am I still on trial?

(laughing) You sure are.

Then why are we doing this?

There's something
I want to see.

Sir, I don't follow.

When you're as old as I am,

you start to think about
things differently.

When something dies, there's
usually something left behind.

Like a body or some bones.

But when a memory dies,
it's gone forever.

Except for one thing.

What thing? What's that?

[Beelzebub] The one thing
I remember is a feeling.

An emotion, a residual tone.

Tell me, what do you see?

[Killjoy] It's like a
dying sun that's fading.

The final circle of hell.

It's not what you'd expect.

No fire...

No torture...

It's not even cold.

It's nothing.

Welcome to oblivion.

[Killjoy] Why are
you showing me this?

All my names are disappearing.

Soon I'll be erased forever.

It will be like you
had never existed.

No one will know that
you have ever been.

The only thing that
you'll feel, is emptiness.

But, if I cease to exist,

then why did you bring
me to this place?

It seems like a waste of time.

It wasn't for you.

I wanted to see the
look on your face.

I will remember that feeling.

(laughing)

Answer the question.

[Jezabeth] Are you
responsible to harvest

those souls you
claimed? Yes or no.

Yes.

Then when you let
the last one get away,

you failed in that
responsibility. Yes or no?

It's not as simple as that.

Yes or no?

Yes.

Scribe, strike
some more names.

Wait, wait.

No, no, no!

This is shit!

[Beelzebub] Now
we've got some fire.

Get to the point.

I live for the
torment of humans.

Their pain is sweet
and delicious.

Their agonizing cries are
like music to my ears.

How dare you question that!

That little
brown-noser, my lawyer,

has been dropping the
ball every single time.

From day one, he's been
sabotaging my case.

And he's not even a real demon.

He's merely demonic.

Well you're not the easiest
client to work for, you know?

Fuck you and the
ass you rode in on.

You're fired!

But I'm your biggest fan.

You are a wanna-be.

From now on, I'm gonna
represent myself.

Now get out of my sight
before I break you in half,

you human...

Well if that's the
way you want it, fine!

See you in Hell, Killjoy.

Clown mode?

I'm a clown?

(beeping)

(beeping)

Boo-ya.

Hmm...

Ah, the mirror.

We can use it to...

(gasping)

Damn it.

[Beelzebub] Now that
you're representing yourself,

what is your next motion?

I motion...

I think I'm ready
for a verdict.

I call my first witness.

The mortal. The
one that got away.

(laughing)

No way.

I beat you. (Laughing)

I beat you.

Who are you?

The devil. Take
your seat please.

Hey, where's the squirt?

I fired him.

Good, he was trouble.

He looked familiar too.

Like a bad one night stand,

when you turn on the
lights in the morning.

Yeah, yeah, hey Batty?

Do you really think
this is gonna work?

When it's your turn
to cross examine,

you should ask her this...

(whispering)

(laughing) Yes.

Will you please
account for your ordeal

involving Killjoy in
the night in question.

It all started because I was

house-sitting my
professor's house and...

(suspenseful music)

Killjoy murdered all my friends.

(laughing)

That seems pretty cut and dry.

Killjoy, your witness.

Wish me luck.

(Killjoy laughing)

Hey there. Long time no see.

Fuck you.

Feisty. What's got
your panties in a bunch?

This is what I call
a hostile witness.

Hostile?

You wanna see hostile?

(banging)

Let's get on with it.

(muttering)

Well that was an
accurate and thorough

representation of
the night's events.

And granted, you
were victorious.

But, I just have one
question for you.

How did it make you feel?

Feel? How am I supposed
to feel, you son of a bitch?

You stabbed Zilla in the heart.

You smashed my boyfriend's head,

clear off his body
in a bloody mess.

And you squashed the professor

into a pile of blood and goo.

My best friend was eaten alive.

What kind of filthy,
foul monster,

would ask me how I feel?

I'm stuck in a nut-house
and I can't stop laughing.

I have no family, no
friends, no future,

all because of your
heartless games.

I hope you rot.

I hope you burn forever.

(laughing) Man, she sure
ripped you a new asshole.

Tell me about it.

I didn't really need
more than two of them.

[Beelzebub] That was well put.

Thoughtless, heartless, cruel,

insensitive, filthy, foul.

You're starting to sound
like a demon again.

But, he's not. He's not evil.

Hush.

So, I'm good to go?

Stamp me evil?

Not so fast.

You've absorbed a
lot of human empathy

in your little quest
to incarnate on earth.

You've got a lot of
mortal souls in you.

But I think you've earned
yourself a fighting chance.

What do you need from me?

Anything, I'll do
anything, come on.

Trial by combat.

(banging)

Oh, anything but that.

I mean, come on.

I present to you,
your challenger.

Next in line for your job.

What?

Skid Mark? You've
gotta be kidding me.

Yep, it's me.
Put up your dukes.

I want your job.

[Killjoy] You gotta be joking.

(booming)

(laughing)

(bell dinging)

Fight!

(screaming)

(groaning)

I'm gonna kill you.

You are a pathetic
excuse for a demon.

Merely human...

(groaning)

Atomic wedgie!

(screaming)

(laughing)

That's gotta hurt.
That's gotta hurt.

Oh, yeah!

Love you guys.

(laughing) So what's
your second trick, human?

Oh, it's a good one.

And you've got Batty
to thank for it.

You, it's you!

What are you talking about?

He was one of my victims.

I had him at a frat-party.

But I don't remember
what happened.

Oh, you had me alright.

One bite. That's all it took.

Why didn't you
just finish him off?

You should've killed him.

I know, I passed out.

I slipped her a little
something-something.

You roofied me?

You rapist pig!

Batty, I love you.

When Hell freezes over.

No, when I win, the
deal is your ass is mine.

Oh, like hell it is.

I'm gonna end you now.

You puny human.

Not quite.
Remember what I said.

You've got Batty
to thank for this.

For what?

Her love bite.
And my second trick.

(groaning)

(suspenseful music)
(groaning)

Oh...

Oh!

He's infected.

(growling)

Oh, shit!

Check me out.

Not so puny now.

Hey boss, here!

(laughing)

A bag of tricks.

Yum.

(laughing)

[Skid] You're mine, Killjoy.

(laughing) Aww, yeah.

Go and help him or
we'll all be dust.

(groaning)
(bones cracking)

[Skid] I'm crushing you.

(groaning)

Die, Killjoy! (Roaring)

Your ass is mine!

(grunting)

(groaning)

[Sandie] Killjoy, here!

[Squid] What's this?

Ugh, aww man.

(groaning)

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

I have it! I have the power!

The malice buffoon is mine!

(groaning)

(laughing)

(splatting)

(roaring)
(growling)

Charge!

(screaming)
(roaring)

(intense music)
(raucous fighting)

(roaring)

I've had enough.

(intense music)
(raucous fighting)

I've had enough of this.

(electric zapping)

So you got your
powers back, huh?

You think that I'd do mine?

Where you going with that key?

You're not going anywhere.

Ugh, virgin, you disgust me.

(laughing) I got it!

Oh, come on. Stop wasting
time, you have the key.

Get in the elevator
and get out of here!

Got it.

Wait, just one second.

[Batty] Oh, no.

I gotta know.

Oh, don't give in.

- Come on!
- Don't do it!

(gasping)

Oh!

Fuck it!

(alarm blasting)

(laughing) Why did I do that?
(alarm blasting)

[Speaker] Self destruct
sequence initiated.

T-minus 60 seconds
to self destruct.

Oh, man! We gotta
get out of here!

(alarm blasting)

Out of the way, you big jerk.

I got the key, I got the key.

[Speaker] T-minus 50 seconds.

Come on! Come on!

Come on, get it in the hole!

As usual, you're not helping!

Alright, now shut up!

I got it, I got it.

Twist it! Twist it!

Which button?

Terra firma!

(screaming)

[Speaker] T-minus... Oh I
see you're doing quite well.

At this rate, you will
have no problem escaping.

So I'll just hurry it up a bit.

T-minus one second.

Kiss your ass goodbye.

(booming)

(screaming)

Can't we make this
thing go faster?

I can...

Turbo!

(buzzing)

(screaming)

(intense music)

(police sirens)

Where are we?

Earth.

Yeah, we had a good
time, didn't we kid?

(laughing) Oh, no.

It's not so funny
anymore is it?

Your name is...

(laughing) Your name is...

Your name is...

Oh, that name's
gone. Gone forever.

You know, I think I
even forgot it myself.

(laughing)

Hey, I saved your ass.

That's true, you did.

And for that, you get
a 60 second head start.

What?

(speaking gibberish)

[Sandie] What'd he say?

Run bitch, run!

(laughing)

So what do you
want to do now, baby?

The usual.

Murder, mayhem, destruction.

And a really good martini.

Yeah, sounds good.

How long's it been Punchy?

(speaking gibberish)

30 seconds. Seems fair enough.

Let's go!

(laughing)

(intense music)

I'm mother fucking Killjoy.

I was born a demon.

I live for the
torment of humans.

Who accuses me? Who accuses me?

Don't you know who I am?

I'm Killjoy! I'm Killjoy!

Alright, alright. I
get the point already.

(intense music)

How long is this
gonna take exactly?

I need an enema. I
need a beer enema.

I need a beer enema
and a Jello shot.

That's just great.
Just what I need.

That was disgusting. (Laughing)

Who accuses me? Who accuses me?

Don't you know who I am?

Who accuses me? Who accuses me?

From now on, I'm gonna
represent myself.

I'm Killjoy! I'm guilty
as hell! (Echoing)