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1
00:00:14,416 --> 00:00:17,917
Man, nothing is on.
2
00:00:17,919 --> 00:00:19,686
Oh, forget it.
3
00:00:24,168 --> 00:00:24,733
What have you got here?
4
00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:25,717
What have you got, a magazine?
5
00:00:26,728 --> 00:00:29,495
That is a magazine, yes.
6
00:00:29,497 --> 00:00:30,496
What kind of magazine?
7
00:00:30,498 --> 00:00:31,497
Some kind of women's magazine?
8
00:00:31,499 --> 00:00:33,199
Oh, 50 reasons men suck.
9
00:00:36,970 --> 00:00:39,605
This... This is brutal. Brutal.
10
00:00:41,842 --> 00:00:45,077
How's your book? Funny? Sad?
11
00:00:45,079 --> 00:00:49,515
Annoying... Much like yourself.
12
00:00:49,517 --> 00:00:52,552
Ooh, cat has claws.
13
00:00:55,856 --> 00:00:57,657
Well, you know what?
Now the book is mine.
14
00:00:57,659 --> 00:00:59,859
Stop! Stop it! Give it back!
15
00:00:59,861 --> 00:01:01,561
Oh, oh, little woman.
Try to get it...
16
00:01:01,563 --> 00:01:03,563
Can't, from the big man.
Can't, from the big man.
17
00:01:03,565 --> 00:01:04,831
Doug, stop. Doug!
18
00:01:04,833 --> 00:01:06,232
All right, now get it, you doof.
19
00:01:06,234 --> 00:01:08,200
I'll get it. I'll find it.
I'll find it!
20
00:01:08,202 --> 00:01:10,135
I'll find it.
21
00:01:10,137 --> 00:01:12,805
Where is it? It's just in here.
Just come to Dougie.
22
00:01:12,807 --> 00:01:14,073
All right, let me just...
23
00:01:14,075 --> 00:01:15,475
Oh, my God, it just...
Can you...
24
00:01:15,477 --> 00:01:16,942
Oh, my God.
25
00:01:16,944 --> 00:01:18,845
Carrie, something's got my arm!
Oh, God!
26
00:01:18,847 --> 00:01:22,915
Carrie, Carrie, Carrie,
my mother was wrong!
27
00:01:22,917 --> 00:01:26,819
There are monsters
under the bed!
28
00:01:26,821 --> 00:01:29,756
Save yourself.
29
00:01:31,124 --> 00:01:33,325
Ah, I can get it.
30
00:01:33,327 --> 00:01:35,194
I can't reach it. Uh!
31
00:01:40,501 --> 00:01:42,935
You had coffee
tonight, didn't you?
32
00:02:26,889 --> 00:02:28,022
Howdy-do.
33
00:02:28,024 --> 00:02:29,490
Hey, man, how was your morning?
34
00:02:29,492 --> 00:02:30,825
Good. Real good.
35
00:02:30,827 --> 00:02:32,894
I don't know why, but I started
waving at people today.
36
00:02:32,896 --> 00:02:34,062
You know, see 'em on the corner,
37
00:02:34,064 --> 00:02:35,797
throw 'em a little, "Hey!"
38
00:02:35,799 --> 00:02:36,798
They waving back?
39
00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:39,067
Not really, no.
40
00:02:40,603 --> 00:02:43,504
Ahh...
41
00:02:43,506 --> 00:02:45,506
Ahh.
42
00:02:45,508 --> 00:02:47,308
Hey, listen, uh... I'm
throwing together
43
00:02:47,310 --> 00:02:49,510
a wiffle-ball
challenge on Sunday.
44
00:02:49,512 --> 00:02:50,812
A little barbecue,
a little beer.
45
00:02:50,814 --> 00:02:51,813
Oh, yeah?
46
00:02:51,815 --> 00:02:55,717
Yeah, it's BYO everything.
47
00:02:55,719 --> 00:02:57,018
Actually, I can't make it.
48
00:02:57,020 --> 00:02:58,452
What do you mean,
you can't make it?
49
00:02:58,454 --> 00:02:59,821
Why? What's up?
50
00:02:59,823 --> 00:03:01,589
What, you gotta stay home
with the wife and kiddies?
51
00:03:04,526 --> 00:03:06,627
Oh, I get it. That
means I'm whipped.
52
00:03:06,629 --> 00:03:09,030
Heh. Good one. No, um...
53
00:03:09,032 --> 00:03:10,765
It's not family stuff.
54
00:03:10,767 --> 00:03:11,999
No? What is it?
55
00:03:12,001 --> 00:03:13,400
I've got something to do.
It's an obligation.
56
00:03:13,402 --> 00:03:14,969
Oh, yeah? You gotta get
your skirt hemmed, huh?
57
00:03:14,971 --> 00:03:16,403
Your legs waxed?
58
00:03:18,540 --> 00:03:21,175
That's another good one.
59
00:03:21,177 --> 00:03:23,577
Come on, what's going on, then?
No, I just got something to do.
60
00:03:23,579 --> 00:03:24,779
What could you have to do
61
00:03:24,781 --> 00:03:26,280
that's better than smacking
around a hollow ball
62
00:03:26,282 --> 00:03:27,581
with a bunch of
drunken idiots, huh?
63
00:03:27,583 --> 00:03:29,884
I'm a Big Brother.
64
00:03:29,886 --> 00:03:30,985
Really?
65
00:03:30,987 --> 00:03:33,520
Yeah, I have a kid I hang
out with on Sundays.
66
00:03:33,522 --> 00:03:34,956
How long have you
been doing this?
67
00:03:34,958 --> 00:03:35,957
For a few years.
68
00:03:35,959 --> 00:03:37,959
A few years? Mm-hmm.
69
00:03:37,961 --> 00:03:39,026
You never said
anything about it.
70
00:03:39,028 --> 00:03:40,027
Ah, it's no big deal.
71
00:03:40,029 --> 00:03:41,195
It's just something
I do, you know?
72
00:03:41,197 --> 00:03:44,265
That's good. That's good.
73
00:03:44,267 --> 00:03:45,967
It's good to reach out.
74
00:03:45,969 --> 00:03:47,769
I wave at people.
75
00:03:58,514 --> 00:04:02,449
Oh, I didn't think I was
ever gonna get out of there.
76
00:04:02,451 --> 00:04:04,886
They had to depose
one guy in Jamaica,
77
00:04:04,888 --> 00:04:06,954
so 14 lawyers fly down.
78
00:04:06,956 --> 00:04:08,422
But did I get to go?
79
00:04:08,424 --> 00:04:11,358
No, that little perk is
reserved for the secretaries
80
00:04:11,360 --> 00:04:14,695
who will actually
have sex with them.
81
00:04:14,697 --> 00:04:17,865
Make your own breaks, honey.
82
00:04:17,867 --> 00:04:19,267
So how was your day?
83
00:04:19,269 --> 00:04:21,269
It was good. Yeah?
84
00:04:21,271 --> 00:04:22,770
It was good, yeah.
85
00:04:22,772 --> 00:04:24,872
Care...
86
00:04:24,874 --> 00:04:29,343
Do you think I'm a
worthless sack of crap?
87
00:04:34,850 --> 00:04:37,384
Why? Have you been
reading my diary?
88
00:04:41,089 --> 00:04:42,690
I'm serious, okay?
89
00:04:42,692 --> 00:04:44,758
No. Come on, what
brought this on?
90
00:04:44,760 --> 00:04:46,760
I was talking to Deacon today,
91
00:04:46,762 --> 00:04:49,030
and it turns out
he's a Big Brother.
92
00:04:49,032 --> 00:04:51,933
You just realized that today?
93
00:04:58,740 --> 00:05:00,741
I don't mean he's
a big "bruthah".
94
00:05:00,743 --> 00:05:02,576
I mean he's a Big Brother.
95
00:05:04,746 --> 00:05:07,715
He's got a kid and they
hang out together,
96
00:05:07,717 --> 00:05:09,717
they do stuff like shoot
hoops and things like that.
97
00:05:09,719 --> 00:05:10,818
Oh, that's nice.
98
00:05:10,820 --> 00:05:12,186
I know it's nice.
99
00:05:12,188 --> 00:05:13,921
It's much nicer than
anything I've ever done.
100
00:05:13,923 --> 00:05:14,922
Oh, come on.
101
00:05:14,924 --> 00:05:16,257
It is. I mean...
102
00:05:16,259 --> 00:05:18,759
We don't do anything like that.
What do we do?
103
00:05:18,761 --> 00:05:20,527
Well, I do the canned food drive
104
00:05:20,529 --> 00:05:21,896
for the homeless.
105
00:05:21,898 --> 00:05:23,797
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
106
00:05:23,799 --> 00:05:27,434
So you're saying
it's just me, then.
107
00:05:27,436 --> 00:05:28,936
No, I'm not saying anything.
108
00:05:28,938 --> 00:05:31,973
Just that I do the food drive.
109
00:05:31,975 --> 00:05:33,674
Ah, I make me sick.
110
00:05:33,676 --> 00:05:35,476
I mean, look how lucky
we are, you know?
111
00:05:35,478 --> 00:05:36,810
Look what we got.
112
00:05:36,812 --> 00:05:40,581
We got chairs, curtains,
bowls on the wall...
113
00:05:40,583 --> 00:05:43,650
Couldn't a hungry kid be
eating out of that bowl?
114
00:05:43,652 --> 00:05:45,686
That's a light fixture.
115
00:05:45,688 --> 00:05:47,688
Still, a hungry child could
be eating out of it.
116
00:05:47,690 --> 00:05:50,992
But no, no, no, I've got
to have my precious light.
117
00:05:50,994 --> 00:05:53,660
So do something, Doug.
Become a Big Brother.
118
00:05:53,662 --> 00:05:55,363
I know, I should.
119
00:05:55,365 --> 00:05:59,000
It's just... My schedule.
I don't have the time.
120
00:05:59,002 --> 00:06:01,702
Honey... Sweetie...
121
00:06:01,704 --> 00:06:04,071
You flick a lot of cards.
122
00:06:04,073 --> 00:06:06,673
That's my hobby.
123
00:06:06,675 --> 00:06:08,009
Honey, I'm just saying,
124
00:06:08,011 --> 00:06:09,643
Deacon has the same
exact job you do,
125
00:06:09,645 --> 00:06:11,012
and two kids,
126
00:06:11,014 --> 00:06:12,446
and he manages to find the time.
127
00:06:12,448 --> 00:06:14,949
I know, and he doesn't even
tell anybody about it.
128
00:06:14,951 --> 00:06:17,684
He's not even in it
for the publicity.
129
00:06:21,824 --> 00:06:23,958
Hello.
130
00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:25,626
Oh, hi, Doug.
131
00:06:25,628 --> 00:06:26,860
Doug Pruzan.
132
00:06:26,862 --> 00:06:28,662
He's one of the lawyers
from the Jamaica trip.
133
00:06:28,664 --> 00:06:30,331
I'm sorry about that.
Yeah, what's up?
134
00:06:30,333 --> 00:06:31,732
Oh, you know what?
135
00:06:31,734 --> 00:06:33,467
The document didn't
come in till after 6,
136
00:06:33,469 --> 00:06:35,303
so I'll get it notarized
in the morning.
137
00:06:35,305 --> 00:06:36,971
Yeah. Okay. Got it.
138
00:06:36,973 --> 00:06:39,573
Okay, Doug. I love you. Bye.
139
00:06:50,018 --> 00:06:54,121
Did I just tell Doug
Pruzan that I loved him?
140
00:06:55,257 --> 00:06:56,590
Mm-hmm.
141
00:06:59,328 --> 00:07:01,062
Do you?
142
00:07:02,331 --> 00:07:04,332
No! I said "Doug,"
143
00:07:04,334 --> 00:07:05,599
and then the "I love you"
144
00:07:05,601 --> 00:07:07,335
just slipped out
right behind it.
145
00:07:07,337 --> 00:07:08,502
So call him back.
146
00:07:08,504 --> 00:07:10,304
I can't. He was calling
me from the plane.
147
00:07:10,306 --> 00:07:12,006
Well, it's noisy in
there, you know.
148
00:07:12,008 --> 00:07:14,442
Maybe he didn't hear you or
understand what you said.
149
00:07:14,444 --> 00:07:16,010
Well, what if he did?
150
00:07:16,012 --> 00:07:17,911
Then love him the best you can.
151
00:07:24,453 --> 00:07:25,453
What's up?
152
00:07:25,455 --> 00:07:27,054
Ah, nothing much.
153
00:07:27,056 --> 00:07:29,290
Just filling out my application
to become a Big Brother.
154
00:07:29,292 --> 00:07:30,358
Really?
155
00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:32,226
Yeah, yeah, gonna be a Big Bro.
156
00:07:32,228 --> 00:07:34,628
Have a Little Bro. Do bro stuff.
157
00:07:34,630 --> 00:07:37,698
All right. I guess I rubbed
off on you a little, huh?
158
00:07:37,700 --> 00:07:38,765
Yeah, a little.
159
00:07:38,767 --> 00:07:40,167
Well, welcome to the ranks.
Thanks.
160
00:07:42,471 --> 00:07:44,405
"Douglas S. Heffernan."
161
00:07:46,541 --> 00:07:48,209
What's your middle name?
162
00:07:48,211 --> 00:07:49,210
Steven.
163
00:07:49,212 --> 00:07:50,211
Huh.
164
00:07:50,213 --> 00:07:51,212
What's yours?
165
00:07:51,214 --> 00:07:52,213
John.
166
00:07:52,215 --> 00:07:53,580
Hmm.
167
00:07:57,619 --> 00:08:00,754
Whoa. They want you to commit
to once a week for a year?
168
00:08:00,756 --> 00:08:02,123
Yeah, that's the normal thing.
169
00:08:02,125 --> 00:08:04,291
Wow. Can't I take this kid
out for a test drive?
170
00:08:04,293 --> 00:08:06,394
You know, throw him
up on the lift,
171
00:08:06,396 --> 00:08:08,396
make sure he's not
rusty underneath?
172
00:08:10,366 --> 00:08:12,166
Kidding, man. I'm kidding.
173
00:08:12,168 --> 00:08:13,767
You know it's a serious
commitment, right?
174
00:08:13,769 --> 00:08:15,702
Yeah, I know. You think
I don't know that?
175
00:08:15,704 --> 00:08:17,338
Well, it's just, you gotta
follow through with this.
176
00:08:17,340 --> 00:08:19,173
I mean, this can't be
like when you said
177
00:08:19,175 --> 00:08:21,175
you were gonna have
washboard abs by Christmas.
178
00:08:26,915 --> 00:08:30,017
Hey, I would've
179
00:08:30,019 --> 00:08:31,385
if I hadn't gotten the flu.
180
00:08:41,430 --> 00:08:42,530
Uh, excuse me, Doug.
181
00:08:42,532 --> 00:08:43,797
Yeah?
182
00:08:43,799 --> 00:08:45,433
Can I talk to you for a second?
183
00:08:45,435 --> 00:08:47,068
Sure, Carrie.
184
00:08:51,573 --> 00:08:53,907
So I go all those
papers notarized,
185
00:08:53,909 --> 00:08:55,876
and it's on its way to
Claybourne's office.
186
00:08:55,878 --> 00:08:57,211
Great. Thank you.
187
00:08:57,213 --> 00:08:59,280
Yeah.
188
00:08:59,282 --> 00:09:00,448
Is that it?
189
00:09:00,450 --> 00:09:03,117
Well, uh, yeah.
190
00:09:03,119 --> 00:09:06,120
I just wanted to make sure
that you know that I heard you
191
00:09:06,122 --> 00:09:07,721
when you asked me to
do all that stuff.
192
00:09:07,723 --> 00:09:09,056
Because, you know,
193
00:09:09,058 --> 00:09:11,559
airplane phones... wow.
194
00:09:11,561 --> 00:09:13,527
The connection was fine.
195
00:09:13,529 --> 00:09:18,031
So, then, you heard me... okay?
All the way through?
196
00:09:18,033 --> 00:09:19,366
I think so. Yeah.
197
00:09:19,368 --> 00:09:21,768
Even, like, at the end,
198
00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:23,571
where I might have said
something a little weird?
199
00:09:23,573 --> 00:09:25,139
Like what?
200
00:09:25,141 --> 00:09:29,276
Like, uh... possibly...
"I love you" or...
201
00:09:29,278 --> 00:09:31,278
So you did say it? Huh. Yeah.
202
00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:32,846
Thought I imagined that.
203
00:09:32,848 --> 00:09:35,015
Yeah, did you? Yeah,
how about that?
204
00:09:35,017 --> 00:09:36,550
Anyway, the thing is, I
gotta tell you some...
205
00:09:36,552 --> 00:09:38,452
Oh, Doug, come on. We've got
to get the conference room.
206
00:09:38,454 --> 00:09:39,686
The depo's starting.
207
00:09:39,688 --> 00:09:40,921
Oh, okay, I'm coming.
Um, we should talk.
208
00:09:40,923 --> 00:09:41,922
Let's put a pin in this.
209
00:09:41,924 --> 00:09:42,956
Yeah, quick... quick thing...
210
00:09:42,958 --> 00:09:43,991
I'm sorry. I have to go.
211
00:09:43,993 --> 00:09:45,326
Uh, we definitely should
talk later, okay?
212
00:09:45,328 --> 00:09:46,594
Okay. Okay.
213
00:09:50,665 --> 00:09:53,066
Don't... Don't love you, Doug.
214
00:10:03,146 --> 00:10:05,246
Little Bro time.
215
00:10:09,884 --> 00:10:10,884
All right, you know what?
216
00:10:10,886 --> 00:10:12,186
The kid doesn't have a father.
217
00:10:12,188 --> 00:10:13,854
He probably doesn't care
where the pillows are.
218
00:10:15,423 --> 00:10:16,957
Hey, buddy.
219
00:10:16,959 --> 00:10:17,958
Oh, hey.
220
00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:19,293
I just got off work.
221
00:10:19,295 --> 00:10:21,695
Wanted to see if you wanted
to grab a slice of 'za
222
00:10:21,697 --> 00:10:23,597
and go catch the Knicks game.
223
00:10:23,599 --> 00:10:24,290
Okay, first of all,
224
00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:26,800
calling pizza, 'za stopped
being cool in '82.
225
00:10:28,136 --> 00:10:29,503
Second of all, I can't.
226
00:10:29,505 --> 00:10:31,004
Oh. Fine. All right, see you.
227
00:10:31,006 --> 00:10:32,873
I guess you probably want
to know why I can't.
228
00:10:32,875 --> 00:10:34,141
Uh, no, that's okay.
229
00:10:34,143 --> 00:10:35,742
I'm sure you have a good reason.
230
00:10:35,744 --> 00:10:38,145
I do have a good reason. I
got a damn good reason.
231
00:10:38,147 --> 00:10:39,480
So stop riding me, okay? Can't.
232
00:10:39,482 --> 00:10:41,715
All right. What's up with you?
233
00:10:41,717 --> 00:10:43,717
Fine. I will tell you, okay?
234
00:10:43,719 --> 00:10:45,586
Signed up to be a Big Brother.
235
00:10:45,588 --> 00:10:47,254
You? Well, good for you.
236
00:10:47,256 --> 00:10:50,090
Yeah. Yeah, my Little Brother's
on his way over right about now.
237
00:10:50,092 --> 00:10:52,660
Just thought I'd boomerang
a little back to society.
238
00:10:52,662 --> 00:10:55,062
It's what I do. Yeah...
239
00:10:55,064 --> 00:10:57,064
You know, Deacon's
a Big Brother...
240
00:10:57,066 --> 00:10:59,132
but doesn't advertise it.
241
00:10:59,134 --> 00:11:00,767
Doug?
242
00:11:00,769 --> 00:11:03,337
Oh, hey, Barbara. Good
to see you again.
243
00:11:05,574 --> 00:11:06,607
You. Goodbye.
244
00:11:08,443 --> 00:11:11,645
Doug, I'd like you to meet your
new Little Brother, Jason.
245
00:11:11,647 --> 00:11:13,113
Hey, there he is.
Kiddo, what's up?
246
00:11:13,115 --> 00:11:14,315
I'm Doug, man. How are you?
247
00:11:14,317 --> 00:11:15,416
Hi.
248
00:11:15,418 --> 00:11:17,484
Jason, your mom will
pick you up at 5, okay?
249
00:11:17,486 --> 00:11:18,485
Mm-hmm.
250
00:11:18,487 --> 00:11:19,886
All right. Have fun.
251
00:11:19,888 --> 00:11:21,488
Yeah. Take care.
252
00:11:21,490 --> 00:11:24,725
So, you're Jason, huh?
253
00:11:24,727 --> 00:11:25,926
Mm-hmm.
254
00:11:25,928 --> 00:11:27,728
Hey, have a seat, man.
Take a load off.
255
00:11:27,730 --> 00:11:30,264
Yeah, sit back. All right.
256
00:11:31,766 --> 00:11:34,067
Brothers.
257
00:11:34,069 --> 00:11:37,638
Big, little.
258
00:11:37,640 --> 00:11:38,639
This is great, huh?
259
00:11:38,641 --> 00:11:40,006
I guess.
260
00:11:40,008 --> 00:11:41,775
Hey, you want to go
to the batting cages?
261
00:11:41,777 --> 00:11:43,009
You know, grab a couple heroes?
262
00:11:43,011 --> 00:11:44,311
You like batting cages?
263
00:11:44,313 --> 00:11:45,379
Not really.
264
00:11:45,381 --> 00:11:47,615
Okay, how about the heroes?
You like heroes?
265
00:11:47,617 --> 00:11:49,082
Nah.
266
00:11:49,084 --> 00:11:52,152
Okay. Cool, cool, cool.
That's all right.
267
00:11:52,154 --> 00:11:54,821
We'll just chill out
here then, you know?
268
00:11:54,823 --> 00:11:56,457
The two of us.
269
00:11:58,460 --> 00:11:59,793
Yeah.
270
00:12:01,463 --> 00:12:04,265
Oh, I am spraying way
too much whipped cream
271
00:12:04,267 --> 00:12:05,399
on this thing.
272
00:12:06,768 --> 00:12:09,803
Yeah, crazy how much whipped
cream's on here, huh?
273
00:12:14,576 --> 00:12:16,143
Yeah...
274
00:12:22,817 --> 00:12:24,918
You want to watch this?
275
00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:26,553
I don't care.
276
00:12:26,555 --> 00:12:31,224
Oh, how about this? Ants, huh?
277
00:12:31,226 --> 00:12:33,527
They got a whole
world going on...
278
00:12:33,529 --> 00:12:35,329
just below the surface.
279
00:12:42,003 --> 00:12:43,937
Well, thanks.
280
00:12:43,939 --> 00:12:46,407
Okay, yeah, This was great.
This was terrific, man.
281
00:12:46,409 --> 00:12:49,310
I'll see you next week. Yee-haw!
282
00:12:52,980 --> 00:12:55,115
Okay, one week down, 51 to go.
283
00:13:07,472 --> 00:13:09,538
Hey. Hey.
284
00:13:09,540 --> 00:13:11,340
So, so, how'd it go with
your little brother?
285
00:13:11,342 --> 00:13:13,141
Did you hit it off?
Did you bond?
286
00:13:13,143 --> 00:13:14,443
Uh, yeah, about that.
287
00:13:14,445 --> 00:13:15,845
I want to run something by you,
288
00:13:15,847 --> 00:13:17,045
and keep an open mind.
289
00:13:17,047 --> 00:13:18,046
What?
290
00:13:18,048 --> 00:13:19,982
I'm not sure, but I'm...
291
00:13:19,984 --> 00:13:23,786
leaning towards dumping
my little brother.
292
00:13:23,788 --> 00:13:25,755
What are you talking about?
293
00:13:25,757 --> 00:13:28,557
I think I got a bad one.
I did, I got a bad kid.
294
00:13:28,559 --> 00:13:29,725
Bad? Bad, how?
295
00:13:29,727 --> 00:13:31,326
What, did he pull
a knife on you?
296
00:13:31,328 --> 00:13:33,996
A knife would have been great.
I would have loved a knife.
297
00:13:33,998 --> 00:13:35,998
At least it would have
ended the afternoon early.
298
00:13:38,668 --> 00:13:40,903
I'm telling you, I got nothing
from this kid. Nothing.
299
00:13:40,905 --> 00:13:43,439
Well, even so, you
can't just bail.
300
00:13:43,441 --> 00:13:45,040
I mean, this is
not like the time
301
00:13:45,042 --> 00:13:46,909
when you ordered
that ab-roller thing
302
00:13:46,911 --> 00:13:47,943
and you wound up...
303
00:13:47,945 --> 00:13:49,812
I got the flu!
304
00:13:54,984 --> 00:13:56,318
BOY: Ohh!
305
00:13:56,320 --> 00:13:57,720
Oh, body blow! Body blow!
306
00:13:57,722 --> 00:13:59,655
Oh, you have dishonored me.
307
00:13:59,657 --> 00:14:00,989
Now I must kill you.
308
00:14:00,991 --> 00:14:03,592
Hello, uncle. Welcome
to Hong Kong.
309
00:14:03,594 --> 00:14:05,294
MAN'S VOICE: Come on, Stu!
310
00:14:05,296 --> 00:14:07,630
Oh, my dad's here. I gotta go.
311
00:14:07,632 --> 00:14:10,633
Oh, uh, really? Okay,
Stu, take it easy, man.
312
00:14:10,635 --> 00:14:13,068
Hey, I'm here every Sunday!
313
00:14:23,980 --> 00:14:26,248
Hey, how's that pretzel
working out for you?
314
00:14:26,250 --> 00:14:27,249
Fine.
315
00:14:27,251 --> 00:14:28,984
Okay.
316
00:14:31,087 --> 00:14:32,120
Hey.
317
00:14:32,122 --> 00:14:33,756
Hey, buddy, what are
you doing here, man?
318
00:14:33,758 --> 00:14:35,591
I figured I'd give Eddie
a little whupping
319
00:14:35,593 --> 00:14:37,159
at "Mortal Kombat".
320
00:14:37,161 --> 00:14:39,161
Hey, man, you're the
one that's going down.
321
00:14:39,163 --> 00:14:41,697
That's big talk from 4
feet off the floor. What?
322
00:14:42,700 --> 00:14:44,600
Oh, man! Oh.
323
00:14:47,604 --> 00:14:49,104
So how's it going with you guys?
324
00:14:49,106 --> 00:14:50,506
Are you kidding me?
It's going great.
325
00:14:50,508 --> 00:14:51,707
Yeah, it's going good.
326
00:14:51,709 --> 00:14:53,241
We're just taking a
breather right now.
327
00:14:53,243 --> 00:14:55,243
But earlier, we were getting
wild, weren't we? Whoo, whoo...
328
00:14:55,245 --> 00:14:56,244
Ow! Sorry.
329
00:14:56,246 --> 00:14:57,646
Are you all right?
You all right?
330
00:14:57,648 --> 00:14:58,848
I'm sorry. He's gonna be okay.
331
00:14:58,850 --> 00:14:59,882
He's good. He's good. He's good.
332
00:14:59,884 --> 00:15:01,350
I got a tough guy.
Got a tough guy.
333
00:15:01,352 --> 00:15:02,785
Hey, you know what?
We should hang out,
334
00:15:02,787 --> 00:15:04,052
The four of us some time.
What do you say?
335
00:15:04,054 --> 00:15:05,788
Hey, that would be great, man.
Yeah.
336
00:15:05,790 --> 00:15:08,023
Maybe we could do
some kid-swap thing.
337
00:15:08,025 --> 00:15:10,659
You know, you take
mine, I take yours.
338
00:15:10,661 --> 00:15:11,961
How about Sunday?
339
00:15:11,963 --> 00:15:13,195
Can't do it next Sunday.
340
00:15:13,197 --> 00:15:14,597
Eddie and I are running a 10K
341
00:15:14,599 --> 00:15:15,798
to raise money for
heart disease.
342
00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:17,399
10K? That sounds cool.
343
00:15:17,401 --> 00:15:19,635
We would totally be into it too,
344
00:15:19,637 --> 00:15:21,770
except that I have... I've
got a medical condition.
345
00:15:21,772 --> 00:15:23,438
I'm huge.
346
00:15:24,975 --> 00:15:27,309
Plus, I don't think that's
your sort of thing,
347
00:15:27,311 --> 00:15:28,310
is it, J-man?
348
00:15:28,312 --> 00:15:31,446
Actually, my dad died
of heart disease.
349
00:15:33,149 --> 00:15:35,417
You don't say.
350
00:15:35,419 --> 00:15:38,120
A marathon. Yeah. Good idea.
351
00:15:38,122 --> 00:15:40,823
Okay, it's not a marathon.
It's a 10K.
352
00:15:40,825 --> 00:15:43,458
Do you even know
how long a K is?
353
00:15:43,460 --> 00:15:46,194
No. Do you?
354
00:15:46,196 --> 00:15:48,564
No, but if it's
longer than a foot,
355
00:15:48,566 --> 00:15:49,965
you're in trouble, buddy.
356
00:15:51,601 --> 00:15:52,935
I can do it.
357
00:15:52,937 --> 00:15:54,169
Doug, you once considered
358
00:15:54,171 --> 00:15:57,706
putting a chair halfway
up the stairs.
359
00:15:57,708 --> 00:16:00,776
Do you realize this kid's
father died of heart disease?
360
00:16:00,778 --> 00:16:02,878
Yeah, and how is your
dying gonna help that?
361
00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:04,647
My body won't let me die.
362
00:16:04,649 --> 00:16:07,650
I'll vomit and pass out
way before that happens.
363
00:16:07,652 --> 00:16:09,317
Come on, I'm serious.
364
00:16:09,319 --> 00:16:11,720
You're the one who wanted me to
try to break through to him.
365
00:16:11,722 --> 00:16:12,721
Can't you do something else?
366
00:16:12,723 --> 00:16:15,524
Can't you guys go
skateboarding or...
367
00:16:15,526 --> 00:16:18,293
Get pierced?
368
00:16:18,295 --> 00:16:20,829
I know what I'm doing, okay? And
I'm gonna finish this race.
369
00:16:20,831 --> 00:16:23,398
I don't care if I have to
slither across the finish line
370
00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:24,366
with my nipples.
371
00:16:25,635 --> 00:16:27,036
Just back it off, okay?
372
00:16:27,038 --> 00:16:29,438
I'm about to ratchet
up the tension.
373
00:16:38,848 --> 00:16:41,283
Save a little for tomorrow.
374
00:16:47,323 --> 00:16:49,124
Carrie. Hi.
375
00:16:49,126 --> 00:16:50,392
Oh, hey, Doug.
376
00:16:50,394 --> 00:16:51,727
This a good time to talk?
377
00:16:51,729 --> 00:16:53,796
Yes, yes, it's perfect.
378
00:16:53,798 --> 00:16:58,000
So, Carrie...
379
00:16:58,002 --> 00:17:00,335
Where are we at here?
380
00:17:00,337 --> 00:17:04,206
Uh, here... here...
Here's the thing, Doug.
381
00:17:04,208 --> 00:17:05,808
I hope you don't
think I'm an idiot,
382
00:17:05,810 --> 00:17:08,410
but my husband's
name is also Doug,
383
00:17:08,412 --> 00:17:11,013
so when I was on the phone
with you, when I said "Doug",
384
00:17:11,015 --> 00:17:12,147
the words "I love you",
385
00:17:12,149 --> 00:17:13,649
they just came out
automatically, you see?
386
00:17:13,651 --> 00:17:18,220
Like, ah-choo and God bless you.
They're a team.
387
00:17:18,222 --> 00:17:19,421
That's what this was?
388
00:17:19,423 --> 00:17:23,225
Yup. So... don't love you.
389
00:17:24,494 --> 00:17:26,194
Well, I was on the plane
and you said that,
390
00:17:26,196 --> 00:17:27,830
and I was like, whoa,
where'd that come from?
391
00:17:27,832 --> 00:17:29,297
Right, right. It's a funny
story though, right?
392
00:17:29,299 --> 00:17:30,633
Yeah, it's funny.
393
00:17:30,635 --> 00:17:32,434
Well, I guess I shouldn't
have dumped my fiancée
394
00:17:32,436 --> 00:17:33,836
and gotten us
Springsteen tickets.
395
00:17:33,838 --> 00:17:34,937
Guess not.
396
00:17:40,309 --> 00:17:44,013
Wow. Fourth row.
397
00:17:44,015 --> 00:17:47,950
Um... I gotta make a phone call.
398
00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:52,187
Nice butt, though.
399
00:17:56,425 --> 00:17:58,627
RACE ANNOUNCER:
Attention, please.
400
00:17:58,629 --> 00:18:01,096
The race will start
in one minute.
401
00:18:01,098 --> 00:18:03,598
All runners, please make
sure you're checked in
402
00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:05,567
and proceed to the
starting area.
403
00:18:05,569 --> 00:18:07,602
All right, we got...
We got a minute.
404
00:18:07,604 --> 00:18:09,972
So let's, uh, let's start
to get loose here, okay?
405
00:18:09,974 --> 00:18:11,173
Okay.
406
00:18:11,175 --> 00:18:12,574
I'm gonna show you
a couple stretches
407
00:18:12,576 --> 00:18:13,976
I learned from my varsity
football days...
408
00:18:13,978 --> 00:18:15,844
Many moons ago.
409
00:18:15,846 --> 00:18:18,847
Oh, speaking of moons, I
better hike these up.
410
00:18:18,849 --> 00:18:20,716
Remember, crack kills.
411
00:18:22,318 --> 00:18:23,552
All right, first stretch here
412
00:18:23,554 --> 00:18:25,453
is gonna stretch out
the hamstrings, okay?
413
00:18:25,455 --> 00:18:26,922
Now, just stretch it down
and feel the stretch.
414
00:18:26,924 --> 00:18:27,923
Just get into it, you know?
415
00:18:27,925 --> 00:18:29,992
You feel... Aah! God!
416
00:18:29,994 --> 00:18:32,527
Let's go with the hands.
Just shake the hands.
417
00:18:32,529 --> 00:18:35,130
Look, man, you don't have to
do this if you don't want to.
418
00:18:35,132 --> 00:18:37,099
I want to do this. Believe me.
Hey, you know what?
419
00:18:37,101 --> 00:18:38,500
I was gonna run
10Ks today anyway.
420
00:18:38,502 --> 00:18:40,703
Might as well stamp out a
disease at the same time.
421
00:18:40,705 --> 00:18:42,304
Hey, there you are.
You guys made it.
422
00:18:42,306 --> 00:18:43,839
Yeah.
423
00:18:43,841 --> 00:18:45,273
Wow. You're really
punishing that lycra.
424
00:18:45,275 --> 00:18:47,342
Hey, somebody's looking,
I know that much.
425
00:18:47,344 --> 00:18:48,711
RACE ANNOUNCER:
Runners,
426
00:18:48,713 --> 00:18:49,912
to the starting
positions, please.
427
00:18:49,914 --> 00:18:51,180
Hey, want to run together?
428
00:18:51,182 --> 00:18:52,247
Uh, yeah, sure.
429
00:18:52,249 --> 00:18:53,515
I got to warn you, though,
430
00:18:53,517 --> 00:18:55,751
they slipped me a few bucks
to be the rabbit today.
431
00:18:55,753 --> 00:18:58,453
RACE ANNOUNCER:
Runners,
on your marks...
432
00:19:19,709 --> 00:19:21,409
All right. Feels good.
433
00:19:21,411 --> 00:19:22,544
Pushing it to the limit.
434
00:19:22,546 --> 00:19:24,079
How far we gone?
435
00:19:24,081 --> 00:19:25,247
Just under a K.
436
00:19:25,249 --> 00:19:26,548
All right.
437
00:19:26,550 --> 00:19:28,383
I would have thought a
little more, but... okay.
438
00:19:28,385 --> 00:19:31,086
Time to start pacing myself.
439
00:19:38,728 --> 00:19:40,695
DOUG:
Okay, stay focused.
440
00:19:40,697 --> 00:19:42,464
You can do this.
441
00:19:42,466 --> 00:19:44,900
All right, the pain
is all in your mind.
442
00:19:44,902 --> 00:19:47,535
It's all in your mind.
443
00:19:47,537 --> 00:19:49,972
Although the nosebleed,
that was definitely real.
444
00:19:49,974 --> 00:19:52,841
And the shin splints,
those are angry.
445
00:19:52,843 --> 00:19:55,443
Whoop. Just threw up a little.
446
00:20:03,452 --> 00:20:04,987
Doug!
447
00:20:04,989 --> 00:20:06,221
What are you doing here?
448
00:20:06,223 --> 00:20:08,223
I am worried about you.
449
00:20:08,225 --> 00:20:10,525
Come on, stop it. This is crazy.
450
00:20:10,527 --> 00:20:12,995
I'm fine. Leave me alone.
451
00:20:12,997 --> 00:20:15,664
Doug, you're gonna
have a heart attack.
452
00:20:15,666 --> 00:20:17,666
And this is a race
against heart disease!
453
00:20:17,668 --> 00:20:18,934
So? It'll be a push.
454
00:20:18,936 --> 00:20:20,535
Come on, just get in the car.
455
00:20:20,537 --> 00:20:23,038
Look, look. I have soda.
456
00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:25,007
I'm finishing this thing.
457
00:20:25,009 --> 00:20:28,911
Fine. I'll meet you
at the finish line.
458
00:20:28,913 --> 00:20:30,245
Are those my shorts?
459
00:20:30,247 --> 00:20:32,347
No! Drive away!
460
00:20:45,962 --> 00:20:46,962
Hey, buddy.
461
00:20:46,964 --> 00:20:49,331
Just taking a break.
462
00:20:49,333 --> 00:20:50,332
You don't look so good.
463
00:20:50,334 --> 00:20:52,901
Are you kidding me? I'm fine.
464
00:20:52,903 --> 00:20:55,904
I wish I wasn't laying
on a rock, but I'm fine.
465
00:20:55,906 --> 00:20:57,605
I got you something.
466
00:20:57,607 --> 00:20:59,341
Oh, thanks, buddy.
467
00:21:02,378 --> 00:21:04,179
I think you're gonna
have to help me up.
468
00:21:05,581 --> 00:21:07,649
Yeah... All right.
469
00:21:07,651 --> 00:21:09,985
Oh... Okay. Oh.
470
00:21:09,987 --> 00:21:12,487
So, uh, how'd you do?
471
00:21:12,489 --> 00:21:13,989
I did pretty good.
472
00:21:13,991 --> 00:21:15,991
I was, like, 48th or something.
473
00:21:15,993 --> 00:21:17,259
48th? Are you kidding me?
474
00:21:17,261 --> 00:21:19,761
I'm proud of you, Jason.
That's unbelievable.
475
00:21:19,763 --> 00:21:20,762
Thanks.
476
00:21:20,764 --> 00:21:23,866
Unbelievable.
477
00:21:23,868 --> 00:21:26,101
That's good. That's
really good, 48.
478
00:21:26,103 --> 00:21:28,303
You could have come
in, like, 56 or 60,
479
00:21:28,305 --> 00:21:30,739
and that would have
still been good.
480
00:21:33,277 --> 00:21:34,376
That's real, real good.
481
00:21:34,378 --> 00:21:36,144
You should be proud of yourself.
482
00:21:36,146 --> 00:21:37,645
You're a winner.
483
00:21:56,324 --> 00:21:58,292
Yeah. All right.
484
00:22:19,881 --> 00:22:22,449
Honey!
485
00:22:22,451 --> 00:22:23,951
I'm sick!
33618
