All language subtitles for The_King_Of_Queens_S02E18_kissTVSeries.com

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic Download
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:12,604 --> 00:00:15,115 DOUG: Okay. Two pieces left. 2 00:00:15,117 --> 00:00:17,283 Two pieces left. 3 00:00:18,585 --> 00:00:19,852 Oh, boy. 4 00:00:19,854 --> 00:00:22,922 One piece left. Okay, let's do the math. 5 00:00:22,924 --> 00:00:27,027 I'm on my third. He's had two, and this is her second. 6 00:00:27,029 --> 00:00:30,530 Okay, she's out of the game. She's a two-slicer. 7 00:00:30,532 --> 00:00:36,069 It's between me... and the old man. 8 00:00:36,071 --> 00:00:37,603 Technically, he is entitled to it, 9 00:00:37,605 --> 00:00:43,576 but I should be okay. After all, I am the only one counting. 10 00:00:43,578 --> 00:00:47,713 ARTHUR: Three slices, and he's eyeing his fourth. 11 00:00:47,715 --> 00:00:50,483 No wonder he's huge. 12 00:00:50,485 --> 00:00:54,421 Well, that one's got my name on it, big man. 13 00:00:54,423 --> 00:00:57,290 DOUG: Oh, God. He made eye contact with the slice. 14 00:00:57,292 --> 00:01:02,262 I gotta throw this one down and grab it. 15 00:01:02,264 --> 00:01:07,667 ARTHUR: Oh, so that's your game, is it? 16 00:01:09,831 --> 00:01:11,165 CARRIE: Oh, God. 17 00:01:11,190 --> 00:01:14,191 They're racing for the last piece again. 18 00:01:14,543 --> 00:01:19,379 I'm pretty full... But let's have some fun. 19 00:02:11,356 --> 00:02:14,492 God, that restaurant was good, wasn't it? 20 00:02:14,494 --> 00:02:16,494 Yeah, it was. I hate when those waiters come around, 21 00:02:16,496 --> 00:02:18,562 they ask if you want fresh ground pepper. 22 00:02:18,564 --> 00:02:20,098 I always choke, you know? 23 00:02:20,100 --> 00:02:22,100 It's like, "I can't decide with you standing over me." 24 00:02:22,102 --> 00:02:24,435 Yeah. Why can't they just leave the pepper mill on the table? 25 00:02:24,437 --> 00:02:25,703 Exactly. 26 00:02:25,705 --> 00:02:27,105 They carry it around like it's gold. 27 00:02:27,107 --> 00:02:29,240 I know! It's pepper, you know? It's like dirt. 28 00:02:29,242 --> 00:02:31,342 Carrie, your place is great. 29 00:02:31,344 --> 00:02:32,877 Yeah. You might recognize the furniture 30 00:02:32,879 --> 00:02:34,879 from a little shop called Ikea. 31 00:02:34,881 --> 00:02:37,214 Ah, yes. 32 00:02:37,216 --> 00:02:38,783 Here you go. Here's that article you wanted. 33 00:02:38,785 --> 00:02:40,118 Fabulous. Thank you. You're welcome. 34 00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:42,319 And also there's a great review of a new steak house 35 00:02:42,321 --> 00:02:43,755 that just opened up on Northern Boulevard. 36 00:02:43,757 --> 00:02:44,956 Apparently, they fly their steaks in 37 00:02:44,958 --> 00:02:47,025 from Chicago or something. 38 00:02:47,027 --> 00:02:49,127 Yeah, any interest in going Saturday night? 39 00:02:49,129 --> 00:02:52,697 Hey, anytime meat is flown to me, you caught my attention. 40 00:02:52,699 --> 00:02:54,298 Sounds good. Abby? 41 00:02:54,300 --> 00:02:57,635 Uh, yeah, I'll check our book, but I'm 75% sure we can do it. 42 00:02:57,637 --> 00:03:00,271 Okay, great, great. This is great. 43 00:03:00,273 --> 00:03:02,273 It's great seeing you. We had a lot of fun. 44 00:03:02,275 --> 00:03:04,308 All right, take it easy, now. 45 00:03:04,310 --> 00:03:06,443 Okay. 46 00:03:06,445 --> 00:03:07,611 Marc and Abby. 47 00:03:07,613 --> 00:03:09,213 You see? I told you you'd like them. 48 00:03:09,215 --> 00:03:10,614 You're right. I'm sorry I fought you. 49 00:03:10,616 --> 00:03:12,416 It's just that you met Abby at yoga class. 50 00:03:12,418 --> 00:03:13,551 Sounded pretty weak. 51 00:03:13,553 --> 00:03:15,953 Yeah, I know, but we were both 52 00:03:15,955 --> 00:03:17,088 mocking the instructor. 53 00:03:17,090 --> 00:03:19,057 I had a good feeling. It worked out great. 54 00:03:19,059 --> 00:03:21,392 I mean, I like Marc, you like Abby. 55 00:03:21,394 --> 00:03:23,594 I even like Abby, you like Marc. 56 00:03:23,596 --> 00:03:26,363 There's crossover appeal. That never happens. 57 00:03:26,365 --> 00:03:28,332 What are you doing? We just had dinner. 58 00:03:28,334 --> 00:03:30,201 Just a late-night once-over. 59 00:03:30,203 --> 00:03:33,938 Oh, look at that. New package of American cheese slices. 60 00:03:33,940 --> 00:03:37,742 Not taking any. Just good to know. 61 00:03:37,744 --> 00:03:41,946 It's also good to know that I will be taking a pudding. 62 00:03:41,948 --> 00:03:44,082 You know what I like about Marc and Abby? 63 00:03:44,084 --> 00:03:46,483 No kids. Oh, it's a beautiful thing. 64 00:03:46,485 --> 00:03:47,952 I mean Deacon and Kelly are great, 65 00:03:47,954 --> 00:03:49,954 but it's always like, oh, they can't get a sitter, 66 00:03:49,956 --> 00:03:50,955 this one has an earache, 67 00:03:50,957 --> 00:03:51,989 that one swallowed a marble, 68 00:03:51,991 --> 00:03:55,492 blah, blah, blah. Very annoying. 69 00:03:55,494 --> 00:03:56,861 But Marc and Abby? No strings. 70 00:03:56,863 --> 00:03:59,263 You know what they are? They are our new go-to couple. 71 00:03:59,265 --> 00:04:01,632 Yeah. It's like we can call them up on a whim... 72 00:04:01,634 --> 00:04:06,070 and boom! We're on a Lear jet to Monte Carlo with the Shmenkmans. 73 00:04:06,072 --> 00:04:08,072 Honey, their name is not Shmenkman. 74 00:04:08,074 --> 00:04:12,076 It's Shropshire. Shropshire? 75 00:04:12,078 --> 00:04:16,147 Shropshire. Too hard. I'm sticking with Shmenkman. 76 00:04:20,419 --> 00:04:22,286 Hello. 77 00:04:22,288 --> 00:04:25,089 Oh, hey, Kel. What's going on? 78 00:04:25,091 --> 00:04:27,158 Oh, all right. Hold on a sec. 79 00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:29,093 Deacon and Kelly wanna go out Saturday night. 80 00:04:29,095 --> 00:04:30,561 They got a sitter. 81 00:04:30,563 --> 00:04:32,764 We got the Shmenkmans on Saturday. 82 00:04:32,766 --> 00:04:33,765 Is that definite? 83 00:04:33,767 --> 00:04:35,599 Well, they said 75%. 84 00:04:35,601 --> 00:04:37,668 Hit the mute. Okay. 85 00:04:37,670 --> 00:04:40,704 Hit it. I don't know where it is. 86 00:04:40,706 --> 00:04:46,443 There. Okay. I'm gonna test it. 87 00:04:52,951 --> 00:04:54,385 It works. All right. 88 00:04:54,387 --> 00:04:56,387 So what about Saturday night? What are we gonna do? 89 00:04:56,389 --> 00:04:58,589 Marc and Abby gave us 75%, but if that falls through 90 00:04:58,591 --> 00:05:00,758 and we say no to Deac and Kelly, 91 00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:01,793 then we got nothing. 92 00:05:01,795 --> 00:05:03,194 All right, so what do we do? 93 00:05:03,196 --> 00:05:05,129 We gotta hold Deacon and Kelly until we know. 94 00:05:05,131 --> 00:05:08,532 Tell them we're 75% sure we can do it. 95 00:05:08,534 --> 00:05:11,702 Carrie, the Shmenkmans gave us 75%. 96 00:05:11,704 --> 00:05:13,905 We only have 25% to give. 97 00:05:13,907 --> 00:05:18,843 Well, we're not gonna hold Deac and Kelly with 25%. 98 00:05:18,845 --> 00:05:20,678 Cheat it. Bump it up to 50. 99 00:05:20,680 --> 00:05:23,915 Kel? Yeah. Sorry about that. 100 00:05:23,917 --> 00:05:27,584 I... saw a bird. Uh, anyway, about Saturday night, 101 00:05:27,586 --> 00:05:31,122 um, we're 35% sure we can make it. 102 00:05:31,124 --> 00:05:35,259 Hmm? Okay. Would it help if I said 40? 103 00:05:35,261 --> 00:05:37,929 Okay, then we'll do it some other time, then. 104 00:05:37,931 --> 00:05:40,164 Would you please give them 50? 105 00:05:40,166 --> 00:05:43,935 Huh? Oh. Okay, hold on a second. How about Sunday brunch? 106 00:05:43,937 --> 00:05:46,237 Oh, yeah, there you go. We'll do it here. 107 00:05:46,239 --> 00:05:48,639 Yeah, that sounds great, and we'll do it over here. 108 00:05:48,641 --> 00:05:52,210 Hmm? Oh, yeah, no. No, bring them along. 109 00:05:52,212 --> 00:05:53,211 That's fine. 110 00:05:53,213 --> 00:05:56,147 Yeah, okay, mm-hmm. Okay, bye. 111 00:05:56,149 --> 00:05:57,281 They're bringing the kids. 112 00:05:57,283 --> 00:05:58,883 What was I gonna say? 113 00:05:58,885 --> 00:06:00,517 Hang on to your hats, people. 114 00:06:00,519 --> 00:06:01,719 I got news. 115 00:06:01,721 --> 00:06:04,055 I was over at that newsstand 116 00:06:04,057 --> 00:06:06,557 that has papers from all around the country, 117 00:06:06,559 --> 00:06:08,893 and I grabbed myself an Akron Beacon. 118 00:06:08,895 --> 00:06:10,962 Take a gander at this. 119 00:06:10,964 --> 00:06:14,365 What am I supposed to be reacting to? 120 00:06:14,367 --> 00:06:17,935 It's a coupon for Sergeant Salty's Deep-sea Corn Loops. 121 00:06:17,937 --> 00:06:22,173 And should I be happy or... sad? 122 00:06:22,175 --> 00:06:26,077 Happy. It's the greatest breakfast cereal known to man. 123 00:06:26,079 --> 00:06:29,580 When I was a boy, I'd pour myself a big bowl every morning 124 00:06:29,582 --> 00:06:32,216 and listen to The Sergeant Salty Radio Hour, 125 00:06:32,218 --> 00:06:35,519 where I'd be regaled with the adventures of Sergeant Salty 126 00:06:35,521 --> 00:06:39,723 and his trusty sidekick Bugle Dog. 127 00:06:39,725 --> 00:06:42,059 Well, I'm glad you found it, Dad. 128 00:06:42,061 --> 00:06:44,762 Yeah. I thought they'd stopped making it 129 00:06:44,764 --> 00:06:46,230 when it came out that Sergeant Salty 130 00:06:46,232 --> 00:06:51,602 kept a small Chinese woman locked in his basement. 131 00:06:52,838 --> 00:06:55,706 Hello. 132 00:06:55,708 --> 00:06:58,309 Oh, hey, Abby. 133 00:06:58,311 --> 00:07:02,646 Oh, you can't make Saturday? That's too bad. 134 00:07:02,648 --> 00:07:05,883 What's that? Uh, just hang on one second. 135 00:07:05,885 --> 00:07:09,086 Yeah. Now they want Sunday brunch. 136 00:07:09,088 --> 00:07:12,723 Well, this is a fine mess. 137 00:07:12,725 --> 00:07:13,925 We gotta call Deac and Kelly 138 00:07:13,927 --> 00:07:15,559 and try to get Saturday night back. 139 00:07:15,561 --> 00:07:17,694 And say what? Our better offer canceled? 140 00:07:17,696 --> 00:07:19,663 That's like a slap in the face. 141 00:07:19,665 --> 00:07:22,266 You know what? Let's just all have Sunday brunch. 142 00:07:22,268 --> 00:07:23,467 Good. Do that. Okay. 143 00:07:23,469 --> 00:07:26,103 Abby? Yeah, Sunday is great. 144 00:07:26,105 --> 00:07:28,005 We'll do it here at my house. 145 00:07:28,007 --> 00:07:30,041 Some other friends of ours are gonna join us. 146 00:07:30,043 --> 00:07:33,277 Is that cool? Okay, great. We'll see you Sunday at 11:00. 147 00:07:33,279 --> 00:07:35,980 All right. Bye, sweetie. Well, that worked out. 148 00:07:35,982 --> 00:07:40,284 Man, people are really into us. 149 00:07:45,623 --> 00:07:47,691 He's one of those guys who leaves incredibly long messages 150 00:07:47,693 --> 00:07:48,543 on the machine. 151 00:07:48,561 --> 00:07:50,361 I come home, I gotta go to the bathroom, 152 00:07:50,363 --> 00:07:51,562 I hit the button, it's like, 153 00:07:51,564 --> 00:07:52,964 "Heeeeey..." 154 00:07:52,966 --> 00:07:55,933 "guy..." 155 00:07:55,935 --> 00:07:58,836 "It's Bob!" 156 00:07:58,838 --> 00:08:00,404 "How you doing?" 157 00:08:00,736 --> 00:08:02,569 "Gimme a call back. I'm at..." 158 00:08:07,747 --> 00:08:10,948 Oh. Oh, your baby is so adorable. 159 00:08:10,950 --> 00:08:13,317 Both your kids. Thank you. 160 00:08:13,319 --> 00:08:14,919 Actually, Marc and I have been talking about 161 00:08:14,921 --> 00:08:17,722 whether it's time to have one of these little guys ourselves. 162 00:08:17,724 --> 00:08:20,158 KELLY: Oh, really? Wow. You should do it. 163 00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:22,126 We think we might. 164 00:08:22,128 --> 00:08:23,561 Really? So soon? 165 00:08:23,563 --> 00:08:25,797 You guys have only been married 2 years. 166 00:08:25,799 --> 00:08:27,999 Haven't had time to enjoy each other yet. 167 00:08:28,001 --> 00:08:30,267 It's true. Kids really do take over. 168 00:08:30,269 --> 00:08:32,170 We haven't seen a movie in a theater 169 00:08:32,172 --> 00:08:33,171 in probably six months. 170 00:08:33,173 --> 00:08:34,605 We have no life. 171 00:08:34,607 --> 00:08:36,407 We're at the movies literally every night. 172 00:08:36,409 --> 00:08:39,276 Yeah. 173 00:08:39,278 --> 00:08:41,846 On the other hand, there's just something about it. 174 00:08:41,848 --> 00:08:44,281 It's like all my priorities changed 175 00:08:44,283 --> 00:08:46,084 the day we found out we were having Kirby. 176 00:08:46,086 --> 00:08:48,086 And when they smile at you and call you Daddy, 177 00:08:48,088 --> 00:08:50,354 I'll tell you what, it's the best. 178 00:08:50,356 --> 00:08:53,624 Oh, Marc! I know. Maybe it's time. 179 00:08:53,626 --> 00:08:54,792 You know, having a baby 180 00:08:54,794 --> 00:08:57,762 really does ruin your body, though, Abby. 181 00:08:57,764 --> 00:09:05,269 It... it... it never comes back. 182 00:09:05,271 --> 00:09:08,339 Except for you. 183 00:09:08,341 --> 00:09:10,708 Thanks. 184 00:09:10,710 --> 00:09:13,344 Can I hold him? Oh, sure. 185 00:09:13,346 --> 00:09:16,680 Watch out, Abby. That one's a drooler. 186 00:09:16,682 --> 00:09:18,682 Hey there. Oh, look, Marc. 187 00:09:18,684 --> 00:09:20,684 Hey there. Hello. 188 00:09:20,686 --> 00:09:22,787 I have very small feet. 189 00:09:22,789 --> 00:09:26,224 Hey, Marc, what's the deal with capers, huh? 190 00:09:26,226 --> 00:09:27,825 I don't know. 191 00:09:30,963 --> 00:09:32,596 Okay, here's our home phone, my work phone, 192 00:09:32,598 --> 00:09:33,664 Marc's work phone, 193 00:09:33,666 --> 00:09:35,133 our e-mail, which is always 194 00:09:35,135 --> 00:09:36,968 the best way to reach us, and cell phone. 195 00:09:36,970 --> 00:09:38,770 Oh, great. Thanks. All right, guys. 196 00:09:38,772 --> 00:09:41,305 Thanks a lot. Sure. You're welcome. 197 00:09:41,307 --> 00:09:43,607 See you tomorrow. All right. Bye-bye. 198 00:09:43,609 --> 00:09:45,609 Bye. 199 00:09:47,712 --> 00:09:49,313 Wow. Work phone, home phone, 200 00:09:49,315 --> 00:09:50,547 cell phone, e-mail. 201 00:09:50,549 --> 00:09:53,450 Yeah, they really don't wanna lose touch, do they? 202 00:09:53,452 --> 00:09:54,886 It's good, though. 203 00:09:54,888 --> 00:09:57,188 You know, now our friends are friends with each other. 204 00:09:57,190 --> 00:09:59,056 It's nice when you can make that happen. 205 00:09:59,058 --> 00:10:01,058 Yeah, absolutely. 206 00:10:01,060 --> 00:10:05,163 Son of a bitch. They stole the Shmenkmans. 207 00:10:18,619 --> 00:10:23,089 Arthur, got a package for you! 208 00:10:23,091 --> 00:10:25,859 It's my Deep-sea Corn Loops. 209 00:10:25,861 --> 00:10:28,161 Sweet diggity! 210 00:10:29,431 --> 00:10:31,197 Whoa! You gotta sign here first. 211 00:10:31,234 --> 00:10:34,720 Oh, I see. So, that's how you're gonna play it, huh? 212 00:10:36,417 --> 00:10:37,585 I'm not playing anything. 213 00:10:37,610 --> 00:10:39,005 You gotta sign it. That's our policy. 214 00:10:39,007 --> 00:10:40,760 Well, you must think I'm a damn fool. 215 00:10:41,211 --> 00:10:43,269 I sign your fancy electric doodad, 216 00:10:43,244 --> 00:10:44,377 and you got me. 217 00:10:44,379 --> 00:10:47,513 I'm in your computer, 218 00:10:47,515 --> 00:10:49,314 I'm on your list, and pretty soon, you know 219 00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:52,418 what videos I rent, and I'm considered a pervert. 220 00:10:56,189 --> 00:11:00,125 I'm begging you. 221 00:11:00,127 --> 00:11:01,560 All right. 222 00:11:04,731 --> 00:11:11,937 Thanks. "Schmarther Schmooner." 223 00:11:11,939 --> 00:11:14,807 Okay. You beat the system. 224 00:11:14,809 --> 00:11:18,878 Douglas, get some milk and prepare to be delighted. 225 00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:20,846 Oh, okay. 226 00:11:28,889 --> 00:11:31,023 Gotta use your hands, huh? 227 00:11:31,025 --> 00:11:33,025 You know, you can tilt the box. 228 00:11:33,027 --> 00:11:34,427 That's the way most people go. 229 00:11:34,429 --> 00:11:36,429 Well, I'm not most people. 230 00:11:36,431 --> 00:11:37,296 Mmm. 231 00:11:39,466 --> 00:11:40,833 Mmm. 232 00:11:40,835 --> 00:11:41,834 Oh! 233 00:11:41,836 --> 00:11:44,102 This is taking me back. 234 00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:48,340 Give it a try. All right. 235 00:12:02,221 --> 00:12:06,692 They're salty. 236 00:12:06,694 --> 00:12:10,963 And what part of "Sergeant Salty" didn't you understand? 237 00:12:10,965 --> 00:12:12,665 I understand what "salty" means. 238 00:12:12,667 --> 00:12:14,533 It's just not a great quality in a cereal. 239 00:12:14,535 --> 00:12:16,735 These were beloved by millions. 240 00:12:16,737 --> 00:12:17,903 I don't care. 241 00:12:17,905 --> 00:12:20,305 Cereal shouldn't taste like a Slim Jim. 242 00:12:20,307 --> 00:12:25,310 Sweet diggity. Are you ignorant. 243 00:12:27,514 --> 00:12:28,614 Hey, hon. Hey. 244 00:12:28,616 --> 00:12:30,382 Mmm. 245 00:12:30,384 --> 00:12:31,517 What's in the box? 246 00:12:31,519 --> 00:12:34,720 A life supply of Stinky Loops. 247 00:12:37,357 --> 00:12:41,727 Good, good. So, listen, I just got off the phone with Kelly, 248 00:12:41,729 --> 00:12:42,995 and it's official: 249 00:12:42,997 --> 00:12:45,464 She and Deacon are going out with the Shmenkmans. 250 00:12:45,466 --> 00:12:46,465 Really? 251 00:12:46,467 --> 00:12:48,934 Yup. Dinner this Saturday night. 252 00:12:48,936 --> 00:12:50,903 Ain't that a kick in the chops? 253 00:12:50,905 --> 00:12:52,304 I knew we shouldn't have let them 254 00:12:52,306 --> 00:12:53,338 leave together after the brunch. 255 00:12:53,340 --> 00:12:54,707 We should've kept one couple here. 256 00:12:54,709 --> 00:12:56,174 You're so right. 257 00:12:56,176 --> 00:12:59,244 We had them. We had them right here. What happened? 258 00:12:59,246 --> 00:13:01,881 I'm sure your burping in the middle of brunch 259 00:13:01,883 --> 00:13:03,482 didn't help matters. 260 00:13:03,484 --> 00:13:07,285 Whoa. What just happened here? 261 00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:09,321 Are you blaming this on me? 262 00:13:09,323 --> 00:13:11,657 No. I'm just saying it might be possible 263 00:13:11,659 --> 00:13:15,561 that not everyone enjoys a sausagey burp as much as I do, 264 00:13:15,563 --> 00:13:18,764 which, p.s., is not that much. 265 00:13:18,766 --> 00:13:21,466 Okay, yeah, yeah. And you telling them about 266 00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:23,335 your deviated septum surgery for 40 minutes, 267 00:13:23,337 --> 00:13:24,570 that's really what won them over. 268 00:13:24,572 --> 00:13:25,838 They asked. 269 00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:27,907 Yes, but you know what? Here's a nice little phrase 270 00:13:27,909 --> 00:13:29,307 you might wanna learn in the future: 271 00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:31,844 it's called, "long story short." 272 00:13:31,846 --> 00:13:34,613 Okay. And here's one for you: 273 00:13:34,615 --> 00:13:39,885 "No, thanks. I'm full." 274 00:13:39,887 --> 00:13:41,420 Wow. 275 00:13:42,522 --> 00:13:44,322 Honey, I'm sorry. 276 00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:47,059 We shouldn't be turning on each other. 277 00:13:47,061 --> 00:13:48,460 This is just such a rough one. 278 00:13:48,462 --> 00:13:51,196 I mean, now we've lost the Shmenkmans and Deacon and Kelly. 279 00:13:51,198 --> 00:13:54,033 Deacon and Kelly, they were solid, you know? 280 00:13:54,035 --> 00:13:57,036 They weren't flashy, but they got the job done. 281 00:13:57,038 --> 00:13:59,438 Hang on. We haven't really lost anyone. 282 00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:01,073 I mean, they're just going out to dinner. 283 00:14:01,075 --> 00:14:02,140 That's where it starts. 284 00:14:02,142 --> 00:14:03,341 First they're going to dinner together, 285 00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:04,543 then they're going to the movies, 286 00:14:04,545 --> 00:14:06,478 then they're going on vacation together, 287 00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:08,480 and the next thing you know, we're watching their slides 288 00:14:08,482 --> 00:14:11,383 from Disney World and dying inside. 289 00:14:11,385 --> 00:14:13,953 Well, you know what? The Shmenkmans, they're fine. 290 00:14:13,955 --> 00:14:15,955 But you know, they're not that great. 291 00:14:15,957 --> 00:14:17,456 I guess not. 292 00:14:17,458 --> 00:14:19,157 And there are plenty of other couples 293 00:14:19,159 --> 00:14:20,459 we can go out with. 294 00:14:20,461 --> 00:14:22,160 That's true. That is so true. 295 00:14:22,162 --> 00:14:23,596 Couples are a dime a dozen. 296 00:14:23,598 --> 00:14:26,065 You can't spit without hitting a couple in this town. 297 00:14:26,067 --> 00:14:27,700 Absolutely right. 298 00:14:27,702 --> 00:14:29,735 So... who you got? 299 00:14:29,737 --> 00:14:33,005 Okay, let me think, let me think. 300 00:14:33,007 --> 00:14:34,673 What about... Oh, no. 301 00:14:34,675 --> 00:14:36,909 They're dead. 302 00:14:44,584 --> 00:14:46,184 I know! That is so true. 303 00:14:46,186 --> 00:14:47,853 Is Japanese okay? 304 00:14:47,855 --> 00:14:49,822 Oh, yeah. There's a great place over on 58th. 305 00:14:49,824 --> 00:14:52,224 Maybe I'll get udon. 306 00:14:57,530 --> 00:14:59,231 Kim, right? Kim... Milner? 307 00:14:59,233 --> 00:15:01,333 Right. Accounting. You just started? 308 00:15:01,335 --> 00:15:02,668 Yeah. And you're, uh... 309 00:15:02,670 --> 00:15:04,503 Carrie Heffernan. I'm Grossman's secretary. 310 00:15:04,505 --> 00:15:07,405 Oh, I thought I recognized you, and I was right, I did. Hi! 311 00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:09,608 Hi. Gary Milner. How are you? 312 00:15:09,610 --> 00:15:10,676 Hi, Gary. 313 00:15:15,682 --> 00:15:18,216 Would you guys like to go out tonight? 314 00:15:23,623 --> 00:15:25,791 I can't wait to see this. 315 00:15:25,793 --> 00:15:27,259 I hear Kevin Spacey is amazing. 316 00:15:27,261 --> 00:15:29,561 He's always great. The man's a national treasure. 317 00:15:29,563 --> 00:15:32,297 Red hot, anyone? Oh, yeah, all right. 318 00:15:32,299 --> 00:15:35,834 Oh, great. Here you go. 319 00:15:35,836 --> 00:15:39,371 Whoa! Spicy. 320 00:15:39,373 --> 00:15:44,109 Speaking of spices, how about pepper, huh? 321 00:15:44,111 --> 00:15:45,711 You know when you go to a restaurant 322 00:15:45,713 --> 00:15:46,879 and the waiter comes around 323 00:15:46,881 --> 00:15:48,480 and asks if you want fresh ground pepper? 324 00:15:48,482 --> 00:15:51,216 I could never decide. Oh, yeah. That's kind of true. 325 00:15:51,218 --> 00:15:53,819 And they do that with the parmesan cheese too. 326 00:15:53,821 --> 00:15:55,954 Yes, yes, they do. 327 00:15:55,956 --> 00:15:57,489 He's good. I can work with him. 328 00:15:59,358 --> 00:16:03,095 So, you guys thinking about having kids? 329 00:16:03,097 --> 00:16:06,631 What? You know, babies... 330 00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:08,167 Offspring? 331 00:16:08,169 --> 00:16:11,503 We're brother and sister. 332 00:16:25,651 --> 00:16:28,053 Hello, darlings. It's Saturday night. 333 00:16:28,055 --> 00:16:30,155 Aren't you going out? 334 00:16:30,157 --> 00:16:32,057 No. We don't have any plans. 335 00:16:32,059 --> 00:16:35,060 Deacon and Kelly couldn't get a sitter? 336 00:16:35,062 --> 00:16:38,663 Actually, they did. They're just out with someone else. 337 00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:42,567 What about that other lovely couple you had over for brunch? 338 00:16:42,569 --> 00:16:44,002 They seemed like a lot of fun. 339 00:16:44,004 --> 00:16:46,304 Back it down, okay? The lady said we had no plans. 340 00:16:46,306 --> 00:16:52,444 Okay! Okay! Cool your jets, Eddie! 341 00:17:02,789 --> 00:17:06,191 You know, Dad, if you don't like those salty corn loops, 342 00:17:06,193 --> 00:17:08,627 you don't have to eat all hundred boxes. 343 00:17:08,629 --> 00:17:09,962 Has he been talking to you? 344 00:17:09,964 --> 00:17:13,198 Have you been bad-mouthing my cereal? 345 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:16,368 Yes. It's all I talk about. 346 00:17:16,370 --> 00:17:18,737 Well, I love this cereal. I love it. 347 00:17:18,739 --> 00:17:22,207 You may not because you're an angry man, but I love it. 348 00:17:22,209 --> 00:17:25,443 Okay. God bless. Enjoy. 349 00:17:25,445 --> 00:17:27,079 Oh, who am I kidding? 350 00:17:27,081 --> 00:17:31,650 It's disgusting. Besides which... 351 00:17:31,652 --> 00:17:35,387 I'm so very thirsty. 352 00:17:35,389 --> 00:17:38,290 You know what? Maybe we would feel better 353 00:17:38,292 --> 00:17:40,125 if we just got out of the house. 354 00:17:40,127 --> 00:17:42,161 All right, yeah. What do you wanna do? 355 00:17:42,163 --> 00:17:44,362 I don't know. You wanna try out that new steak house? 356 00:17:44,364 --> 00:17:49,935 Do I wanna? You plus beef equals fun. 357 00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:55,340 Whoa. This place is nice. 358 00:17:55,342 --> 00:17:57,810 You're right. The sweats wouldn't have worked. 359 00:17:57,812 --> 00:17:59,344 Table for 2? Yeah. 360 00:17:59,346 --> 00:18:01,980 This way. Thanks. 361 00:18:04,784 --> 00:18:06,418 Oh, no. What? 362 00:18:06,420 --> 00:18:09,621 They're here. They took my recommendation, 363 00:18:09,623 --> 00:18:11,623 and they used it behind our backs. 364 00:18:11,625 --> 00:18:13,826 Can you believe that? 365 00:18:13,828 --> 00:18:15,794 What do we do? Let's get out of here. 366 00:18:15,796 --> 00:18:19,464 Hey! Hey, man! Hey! 367 00:18:19,466 --> 00:18:21,399 Hi, you guys! Ohh! 368 00:18:21,401 --> 00:18:22,835 What's going on, you guys? 369 00:18:22,837 --> 00:18:24,236 We just came by for some steak. 370 00:18:24,238 --> 00:18:26,839 And possibly a blooming onion. 371 00:18:26,841 --> 00:18:29,741 We stole your little tip on this place. Sorry. 372 00:18:29,743 --> 00:18:31,944 Hey, where's a cop, right? 373 00:18:36,816 --> 00:18:38,717 You want to join us? We could squeeze in. 374 00:18:38,719 --> 00:18:40,986 No, no. You guys already have your food. 375 00:18:40,988 --> 00:18:42,224 No, don't be silly! 376 00:18:42,249 --> 00:18:42,844 You know, what? 377 00:18:42,869 --> 00:18:44,478 We're having a little romantic celebration, anyway. 378 00:18:44,503 --> 00:18:46,336 It's Doug's... half-birthday. 379 00:18:46,361 --> 00:18:47,865 So you guys enjoy, okay? 380 00:18:47,928 --> 00:18:52,264 Okay. All right, man. 381 00:18:52,266 --> 00:18:55,033 Uncomfortable. 382 00:18:55,035 --> 00:18:57,069 I know... 383 00:18:57,071 --> 00:18:58,837 Maybe we should sit down with them. 384 00:18:58,839 --> 00:18:59,838 No. 385 00:18:59,840 --> 00:19:01,039 Carrie, they asked us to sit down. 386 00:19:01,041 --> 00:19:02,875 Yeah, it was a pity-ask, okay? 387 00:19:02,877 --> 00:19:04,943 They don't really wanna sit with us. 388 00:19:07,348 --> 00:19:10,648 Do you hear that? Every laugh is another inside joke 389 00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:12,184 we're not a part of. 390 00:19:12,186 --> 00:19:13,785 I think we should go back in there. 391 00:19:13,787 --> 00:19:14,786 You think so? 392 00:19:14,788 --> 00:19:16,821 Yes! Let's go over to the table, 393 00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:19,024 kick it up a notch, and show them we're the fun, 394 00:19:19,026 --> 00:19:20,725 great couple we know we are. 395 00:19:20,727 --> 00:19:23,028 And we are, damn it. 396 00:19:23,030 --> 00:19:25,898 We're the Heffernans! 397 00:19:25,900 --> 00:19:28,200 We've got... Heffer-vescence. 398 00:19:31,037 --> 00:19:33,138 Let's go. 399 00:19:33,140 --> 00:19:36,308 Hey, changed our minds. Decided to join you. 400 00:19:36,310 --> 00:19:38,643 And we come bearing bread. 401 00:19:38,645 --> 00:19:39,912 We'll scooch over. 402 00:19:39,914 --> 00:19:43,681 Okay, great, thank you. So, wassup, meat-eaters? 403 00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:48,287 Oh! This is like a Sunday brunch reunion, right? 404 00:19:48,289 --> 00:19:49,922 Ha, ha! Yeah, right. 405 00:19:49,924 --> 00:19:51,990 Ready to order? Yeah, I believe we are. 406 00:19:51,992 --> 00:19:54,192 We'll start off with a bottle of wine for the table... 407 00:19:54,194 --> 00:19:55,193 On us. 408 00:19:55,195 --> 00:19:57,229 Thanks, guys. Thank you. 409 00:19:57,231 --> 00:19:58,696 Red, white? 410 00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:00,899 I don't care if our wine is red, white, or purple. 411 00:20:00,901 --> 00:20:03,235 As long as it gets us loopy. 412 00:20:03,237 --> 00:20:05,537 Whoa! Sorry, guy. 413 00:20:05,539 --> 00:20:07,139 Ma'am? 414 00:20:07,141 --> 00:20:09,174 I'm gonna have the salmon. 415 00:20:09,176 --> 00:20:10,708 Whoa! Fish in a steak house. 416 00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:12,311 What is she, a witch? Get her! 417 00:20:12,313 --> 00:20:14,779 I think she is. Witchy! 418 00:20:14,781 --> 00:20:18,150 Hey, the porterhouse is really good, man. 419 00:20:18,152 --> 00:20:20,018 Is it, really? Okay, then porterhouse it is. 420 00:20:20,020 --> 00:20:21,553 Actually, porterhouse sounds like a lot. 421 00:20:21,555 --> 00:20:25,057 How about a porter-hut? 422 00:20:25,059 --> 00:20:27,960 Ha, ha, ha! Ha, ha, ha! 423 00:20:27,962 --> 00:20:30,862 Thank you very much. All right. Okay. 424 00:20:30,864 --> 00:20:33,665 So, what is going on over here, huh? 425 00:20:33,667 --> 00:20:36,134 Heard a lot of laughing. 426 00:20:36,136 --> 00:20:37,135 Abby? 427 00:20:37,137 --> 00:20:38,603 Actually, I was just telling these guys 428 00:20:38,605 --> 00:20:41,239 that Marc and I have definitely decided to have a baby. 429 00:20:42,375 --> 00:20:44,943 Oh! That's great. 430 00:20:44,945 --> 00:20:46,578 Yeah! Way to go, you two! 431 00:20:46,580 --> 00:20:49,047 You wanna hear something weird? 432 00:20:49,049 --> 00:20:52,351 Uh, Carrie and I have decided to have one too. 433 00:20:52,353 --> 00:20:55,454 ABBY: Really? 434 00:20:55,456 --> 00:20:58,457 Yup! Yup! Race you! 435 00:20:58,459 --> 00:20:59,524 Ha, ha, ha! Ha, ha, ha! 436 00:21:03,196 --> 00:21:05,998 You know they're gonna start expecting me 437 00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:07,466 to grow a big belly. 438 00:21:07,468 --> 00:21:10,102 Unless I happen to have a very low sperm count. 439 00:21:10,104 --> 00:21:13,705 Yes, yes. There you go. 440 00:21:13,707 --> 00:21:17,409 Of course, once we don't have a baby, and they do, 441 00:21:17,411 --> 00:21:20,445 we're back to square one, friend-wise. 442 00:21:20,447 --> 00:21:24,182 Who cares? Friends just keep you away from TV. 443 00:21:28,521 --> 00:21:31,189 Oh, look. Someone's car broke down. 444 00:21:31,191 --> 00:21:33,525 Should we pull over and help them out? 445 00:21:33,527 --> 00:21:35,127 Yeah. They look nice. 446 00:21:35,129 --> 00:21:38,930 Actually, they look very nice. 447 00:21:38,932 --> 00:21:42,234 Young couple... About our age... 448 00:21:42,236 --> 00:21:47,272 Well-dressed... Miata, 2-seater, means no kids. 449 00:21:47,274 --> 00:21:49,674 Let's make some friends. 450 00:22:01,212 --> 00:22:02,813 So what do you guys like? Rock, jazz? 451 00:22:02,815 --> 00:22:05,449 Hey, we just went to this great steak house tonight. 452 00:22:05,451 --> 00:22:09,120 We should all go sometime. Yeah. 453 00:22:09,122 --> 00:22:10,921 Yeah, uh, there's a gas station right up there. 454 00:22:10,923 --> 00:22:12,322 That one? You don't want their gas. 455 00:22:12,324 --> 00:22:13,524 It makes your engine knock. 456 00:22:13,526 --> 00:22:15,559 I'll take you to my place. 457 00:22:15,561 --> 00:22:17,161 Hey, when we go to that steak house, 458 00:22:17,163 --> 00:22:19,563 you gotta watch out for the guy with the big pepper mill. 459 00:22:19,565 --> 00:22:21,532 Hey, what's the deal with those anyway? 460 00:22:21,534 --> 00:22:23,200 What's up with that? 33601

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.