Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:34,535 --> 00:00:35,491
Do you remember
2
00:00:35,516 --> 00:00:37,503
that weird history teacher
we had in ninth grade?
3
00:00:37,505 --> 00:00:38,838
Mr. Thorpe!
4
00:00:38,840 --> 00:00:42,374
With the Hello Kitty
stickers on his briefcase!
5
00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:44,754
But he had that gorgeous
wife, remember?
6
00:00:44,779 --> 00:00:46,380
I know. How was
that guy not gay?
7
00:00:48,282 --> 00:00:49,549
Hey, remember we cut his class
8
00:00:49,551 --> 00:00:50,478
and went to Waldbaum's?
9
00:00:50,503 --> 00:00:54,238
Oh, yeah. You shoved a whole box
of Devil Dogs down your pants.
10
00:00:54,722 --> 00:00:57,222
Hello? We had the
munchies and no cash.
11
00:00:57,224 --> 00:00:59,058
Somebody had to take charge.
12
00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:02,929
I wonder if there are any
laws they didn't break, huh?
13
00:01:02,931 --> 00:01:05,497
I assume there were some.
14
00:01:05,499 --> 00:01:06,699
Yeah.
15
00:01:08,834 --> 00:01:09,695
It's getting late.
16
00:01:09,720 --> 00:01:11,667
You know, we should
get on the road soon.
17
00:01:11,692 --> 00:01:13,119
No. Stay.
18
00:01:13,144 --> 00:01:14,155
We have a two-hour drive.
19
00:01:14,142 --> 00:01:16,176
Well, who told you to move
to freaking Rockland County?
20
00:01:16,178 --> 00:01:17,978
My new husband. He works there.
21
00:01:17,980 --> 00:01:19,212
Blame him.
22
00:01:19,214 --> 00:01:21,214
Guilty as charged.
23
00:01:21,216 --> 00:01:23,016
Okay, well, you're not leaving
until you get dessert.
24
00:01:23,018 --> 00:01:24,217
Come on. Give me a hand.
25
00:01:24,219 --> 00:01:26,152
Oh, hey, hey! Here's
a name for you.
26
00:01:26,154 --> 00:01:28,255
Eric Wickstrom.
27
00:01:28,257 --> 00:01:29,322
Ah! You know what?
28
00:01:29,324 --> 00:01:30,723
I saw him, like, a year ago.
29
00:01:30,725 --> 00:01:31,791
He still has his braces.
30
00:01:31,793 --> 00:01:32,825
Ew!
31
00:01:35,097 --> 00:01:38,164
Well, that is a long time to have braces.
Am I right?
32
00:01:38,166 --> 00:01:41,201
Maybe he has some sort
of chronic problem.
33
00:01:43,858 --> 00:01:45,086
Let's hope so.
34
00:01:45,533 --> 00:01:47,132
Heh.
35
00:01:52,313 --> 00:01:55,282
So what do you do up there
in Rockland County?
36
00:01:55,284 --> 00:01:57,183
Oh, I manage a company.
37
00:01:57,185 --> 00:02:00,153
We make various paper
products from recycled goods.
38
00:02:00,155 --> 00:02:01,888
Paper products.
39
00:02:01,890 --> 00:02:03,123
That's great. Great.
40
00:02:03,125 --> 00:02:06,492
Looking at a big fan right here.
41
00:02:06,494 --> 00:02:09,862
You're at, um... IPS.
42
00:02:09,864 --> 00:02:11,197
Yep. Yeah. Yeah.
43
00:02:11,199 --> 00:02:13,199
What do you think about
the head of your company
44
00:02:13,201 --> 00:02:14,801
giving money to the NRA?
45
00:02:14,803 --> 00:02:16,036
I didn't realize he did.
46
00:02:16,038 --> 00:02:17,537
Half a million dollars.
47
00:02:17,539 --> 00:02:19,306
You have to really
like assault rifles
48
00:02:19,308 --> 00:02:21,007
to give that kind of money.
49
00:02:21,009 --> 00:02:24,577
Maybe he just likes
Charlton Heston, you know?
50
00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:28,681
"Get your hands off me,
you damn dirty ape!"
51
00:02:30,117 --> 00:02:31,351
Remember that?
52
00:02:31,353 --> 00:02:32,652
That movie Planet of the Apes?
53
00:02:32,654 --> 00:02:34,821
That was a good movie, huh?
54
00:02:34,823 --> 00:02:38,058
I think Heston's a Nazi.
55
00:02:38,060 --> 00:02:41,861
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
56
00:02:41,863 --> 00:02:43,096
Hey, guys,
57
00:02:43,098 --> 00:02:44,864
we're gonna serve dessert
over there on the couch.
58
00:02:44,866 --> 00:02:45,898
Go. Go, go, go, go.
59
00:02:45,900 --> 00:02:47,900
Okay. So, to the couch?
60
00:02:47,902 --> 00:02:49,402
All right.
61
00:02:56,844 --> 00:03:00,213
Ah! That's better, huh?
62
00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:02,482
The couch.
63
00:03:04,218 --> 00:03:06,886
Oh, who are you voting
for on Tuesday?
64
00:03:06,888 --> 00:03:08,088
Hmm?
65
00:03:08,090 --> 00:03:10,223
The State Assembly?
The runoff election?
66
00:03:10,225 --> 00:03:11,657
Ah... Yes.
67
00:03:13,294 --> 00:03:14,494
Yes.
68
00:03:18,499 --> 00:03:20,500
Do you like Scalas or Perry?
69
00:03:20,502 --> 00:03:22,835
Uh... Actually, we got
an oven mitt from Perry,
70
00:03:22,837 --> 00:03:24,837
so probably him.
71
00:03:24,839 --> 00:03:25,838
Her.
72
00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:27,040
Her. Her. Yeah.
73
00:03:27,042 --> 00:03:29,142
Her.
74
00:03:29,144 --> 00:03:30,543
Arthur.
75
00:03:30,545 --> 00:03:32,178
Hey, my man, what's
happening, buddy?
76
00:03:32,180 --> 00:03:33,413
Get a hold of yourself, Douglas.
77
00:03:33,415 --> 00:03:34,914
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
78
00:03:34,916 --> 00:03:36,216
Hey, hey, hey!
79
00:03:36,218 --> 00:03:37,717
Hang on a second, man.
80
00:03:37,719 --> 00:03:39,185
Relax. Why don't you meet Mike?
81
00:03:39,187 --> 00:03:42,655
Love to, but I got
to catch my JAG.
82
00:03:45,426 --> 00:03:48,761
He's nutty.
83
00:03:48,763 --> 00:03:51,331
So...
84
00:03:51,333 --> 00:03:52,365
Hey, Doug,
85
00:03:52,367 --> 00:03:54,367
we just had a great idea.
86
00:03:54,369 --> 00:03:55,435
What?
87
00:03:55,437 --> 00:03:57,703
What if Mike and
Susie stayed with us
88
00:03:57,705 --> 00:04:00,073
for the whole
Thanksgiving weekend?
89
00:04:00,075 --> 00:04:03,576
What?
90
00:04:03,578 --> 00:04:05,778
Yeah! They could stay up in
my office on the sofa bed.
91
00:04:05,780 --> 00:04:06,679
What do you think?
92
00:04:10,537 --> 00:04:11,818
Right in front of them.
93
00:04:12,110 --> 00:04:13,987
Right in front of
them, she asks me.
94
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:15,655
"Can they stay with us
95
00:04:15,657 --> 00:04:17,057
through the whole
Thanksgiving weekend?"
96
00:04:17,059 --> 00:04:19,487
"We've got that spare
room with the sofa bed."
97
00:04:19,583 --> 00:04:20,793
That's rough.
98
00:04:20,795 --> 00:04:23,676
What am I supposed to say? "Yeah, sure.
That's okay.
99
00:04:23,701 --> 00:04:25,676
"You know, I'd rather put
a cigar out on my ass,
100
00:04:25,701 --> 00:04:27,467
but this is good too."
101
00:04:29,971 --> 00:04:31,493
All right, where the
hell is Spencer already?
102
00:04:31,518 --> 00:04:32,439
The movie's starting right now.
103
00:04:32,441 --> 00:04:35,246
How am I going to spend
four days with this guy,
104
00:04:35,618 --> 00:04:36,837
and with no buffer, either,
105
00:04:36,862 --> 00:04:38,611
because I know Carrie's just
gonna peel off with her friend,
106
00:04:38,613 --> 00:04:40,313
then just leave me
there, alone with him.
107
00:04:41,982 --> 00:04:44,250
I'm gonna die.
108
00:04:44,252 --> 00:04:45,751
That's it. I'm gonna die.
109
00:04:45,753 --> 00:04:48,221
His unpleasantness will
actually stop my heart.
110
00:04:49,681 --> 00:04:50,873
Where the hell you been?
111
00:04:50,987 --> 00:04:52,031
I know. I know.
112
00:04:52,056 --> 00:04:53,859
I had this whole
thing with my mom.
113
00:04:53,861 --> 00:04:55,528
The super was
fixing the radiator
114
00:04:55,530 --> 00:04:57,897
and she didn't want me to
leave her alone with him.
115
00:04:57,899 --> 00:04:59,232
Why not?
116
00:04:59,234 --> 00:05:02,302
She kept saying he was
making bedroom eyes.
117
00:05:02,304 --> 00:05:05,205
"Mom, he's 80. He has glaucoma."
118
00:05:05,207 --> 00:05:07,140
Ah, it was so stupid!
119
00:05:07,142 --> 00:05:09,542
If it was so stupid, Spence,
why don't you just walk out?
120
00:05:09,544 --> 00:05:10,776
Hey, I wanted to.
121
00:05:10,778 --> 00:05:12,345
That's why we had the fight.
122
00:05:12,347 --> 00:05:14,114
But what could I do?
It's my mother.
123
00:05:14,116 --> 00:05:16,316
We been hearing the same
crap for the last 10 years.
124
00:05:16,318 --> 00:05:18,118
"I need to drive my
mommy to the store.
125
00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:19,452
"I have to cut her meat up.
126
00:05:19,454 --> 00:05:21,454
I have to draw her
eyebrows on her." Shut up!
127
00:05:21,456 --> 00:05:23,823
All right! Take it
easy, both of you.
128
00:05:23,825 --> 00:05:25,225
I'm not gonna take
it easy, Moose.
129
00:05:25,227 --> 00:05:26,326
I missed the movie
130
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:29,818
because nobody told this wuss
that he's 32 years old, not 8!
131
00:05:29,843 --> 00:05:31,264
All right, you know what?
Forget about it.
132
00:05:31,266 --> 00:05:33,533
That's it. I'm going
back to the firehouse.
133
00:05:33,535 --> 00:05:35,101
And you know what, Spence?
134
00:05:35,103 --> 00:05:37,225
I hope the supe is ringing
your mother's bell
135
00:05:37,250 --> 00:05:38,283
right now!
136
00:05:39,856 --> 00:05:41,057
And not her doorbell!
137
00:05:41,082 --> 00:05:41,574
I meant, like, he's ringing...
138
00:05:41,576 --> 00:05:43,676
I know what you meant!
139
00:05:49,101 --> 00:05:51,050
Don't worry about
him, all right?
140
00:05:51,075 --> 00:05:53,442
He's just in a bad mood.
141
00:05:57,881 --> 00:05:59,389
By the way, we're not on a date.
142
00:05:59,414 --> 00:06:00,680
Sit over there.
143
00:06:07,710 --> 00:06:09,169
Do you think I'm a wuss?
144
00:06:10,286 --> 00:06:11,471
Well, define "wuss."
145
00:06:12,312 --> 00:06:13,511
Someone
146
00:06:13,536 --> 00:06:16,338
who keeps inventing
excuses to live at home
147
00:06:16,363 --> 00:06:18,778
because he's too scared
to just grow up already.
148
00:06:20,489 --> 00:06:21,269
Define it again.
149
00:06:21,294 --> 00:06:21,894
Oh, that's it!
150
00:06:22,999 --> 00:06:23,629
I'm a wuss!
151
00:06:23,654 --> 00:06:25,418
I'm just a big, stupid,
doughy wussbag.
152
00:06:25,420 --> 00:06:28,154
You don't have to be, you know.
Just move out already.
153
00:06:28,156 --> 00:06:30,089
You know what? I
might just do that.
154
00:06:30,091 --> 00:06:31,191
Right after Thanksgiving.
155
00:06:34,195 --> 00:06:36,596
Why wait until after
Thanksgiving,
156
00:06:36,598 --> 00:06:37,630
you know?
157
00:06:37,632 --> 00:06:39,131
I don't know.
158
00:06:39,133 --> 00:06:41,668
Give me some time to
ease in to the idea.
159
00:06:41,670 --> 00:06:42,935
Ease in to the idea?
160
00:06:42,937 --> 00:06:44,737
I'm sorry. What exactly
does that mean?
161
00:06:44,739 --> 00:06:47,006
I don't speak wuss.
162
00:06:47,008 --> 00:06:48,374
Come on.
163
00:06:48,376 --> 00:06:49,875
It's obvious, man. You
don't want to move out!
164
00:06:49,877 --> 00:06:51,444
I do so!
165
00:06:51,446 --> 00:06:53,145
No. You know what someone
who wants to move out says?
166
00:06:53,147 --> 00:06:54,947
They say, "I want to move out right now.
Tonight!"
167
00:06:54,949 --> 00:06:56,249
That's right. Yeah.
168
00:06:56,251 --> 00:06:58,484
"I'm gonna find a friend who's
got, like, a spare room
169
00:06:58,884 --> 00:07:00,959
"with a sofa bed,
170
00:07:01,235 --> 00:07:02,935
"and I'm gonna stay there
171
00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:05,386
"through the Thanksgiving
weekend if necessary,
172
00:07:05,668 --> 00:07:07,427
but I'm taking my
life back tonight!"
173
00:07:07,429 --> 00:07:09,295
Ah, what's the use.
174
00:07:13,769 --> 00:07:14,400
Doug?
175
00:07:14,402 --> 00:07:16,302
Yeah?
176
00:07:32,604 --> 00:07:34,371
Aah! Aah!
177
00:07:49,912 --> 00:07:51,312
Naked?
178
00:07:51,314 --> 00:07:53,447
Naked.
179
00:07:53,449 --> 00:07:57,118
How... How naked?
180
00:07:57,120 --> 00:08:01,989
Any nakeder and I'd
have seen organs.
181
00:08:01,991 --> 00:08:05,292
The inside ones.
182
00:08:05,294 --> 00:08:06,627
Which I would have preferred.
183
00:08:06,629 --> 00:08:09,163
By the time we got back
here with all his stuff,
184
00:08:09,165 --> 00:08:10,297
you were already asleep.
185
00:08:10,299 --> 00:08:12,233
Well, what happened?
Why is he even here?
186
00:08:12,235 --> 00:08:14,235
He got into a huge
fight with his mother,
187
00:08:14,237 --> 00:08:17,872
decided he wanted to
move out tonight.
188
00:08:17,874 --> 00:08:19,573
So I... I told him,
189
00:08:19,575 --> 00:08:21,375
I said, "Look, man,
you can stay with us"
190
00:08:21,377 --> 00:08:22,777
until you find a
place of your own."
191
00:08:22,779 --> 00:08:24,278
How long do you think
that's gonna be?
192
00:08:24,280 --> 00:08:26,080
How long does it take
to find an apartment,
193
00:08:26,082 --> 00:08:27,081
you know?
194
00:08:27,083 --> 00:08:28,616
A week? Two weeks?
195
00:08:28,618 --> 00:08:30,218
Doug! Two weeks?
196
00:08:30,220 --> 00:08:32,653
The Gladdens are coming!
197
00:08:32,655 --> 00:08:33,755
Huh?
198
00:08:33,757 --> 00:08:35,056
Mike and Susie?
199
00:08:35,058 --> 00:08:37,225
They're supposed to stay in
that room for four days?
200
00:08:37,227 --> 00:08:38,559
Didn't you even think of that?
201
00:08:38,561 --> 00:08:41,729
Excuse me. No, I didn't
think of that, okay?
202
00:08:41,731 --> 00:08:44,198
My best friend's in the middle
of a huge personal crisis.
203
00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:45,800
What am I supposed
to say to him,
204
00:08:45,802 --> 00:08:47,201
"Gee, could you be
out by Thursday?
205
00:08:47,203 --> 00:08:48,202
Because we're having
company over"?
206
00:08:48,204 --> 00:08:50,104
You are unbelievable!
207
00:08:51,573 --> 00:08:52,606
Okay...
208
00:08:52,608 --> 00:08:53,875
No! No! No!
209
00:08:53,877 --> 00:08:55,076
No.
210
00:08:55,078 --> 00:08:57,745
Hey, I'm sorry I snapped.
211
00:08:57,747 --> 00:09:01,215
But this is a man's life
we're talking about.
212
00:09:01,217 --> 00:09:02,449
Okay?
213
00:09:02,451 --> 00:09:03,484
Ugh. 32 years old,
214
00:09:03,486 --> 00:09:05,386
and he picks this
week to grow up.
215
00:09:07,022 --> 00:09:09,690
Bad timing, I know.
216
00:09:09,692 --> 00:09:11,525
So...
217
00:09:11,527 --> 00:09:14,195
Should we call the Gladdens
218
00:09:14,197 --> 00:09:15,596
and cancel?
219
00:09:15,598 --> 00:09:18,032
No. No need to do that.
220
00:09:18,034 --> 00:09:20,601
Just help Spence get an
apartment by Thursday.
221
00:09:20,603 --> 00:09:22,804
Then they could
still come, right?
222
00:09:24,176 --> 00:09:27,126
I'll do everything in my
power to make that happen.
223
00:09:29,461 --> 00:09:30,861
All right, Sue, so I'll call you
224
00:09:30,863 --> 00:09:32,863
as soon as I know if
that room is free.
225
00:09:32,865 --> 00:09:34,365
Hey! Hey, hey!
226
00:09:34,367 --> 00:09:37,000
Have her tell Mike
I say, "Whussup?"
227
00:09:39,804 --> 00:09:43,306
Tell Mike Doug says, "Whussup?"
228
00:09:44,809 --> 00:09:46,643
I don't know.
229
00:09:48,112 --> 00:09:49,946
Okay, sweetie. I'll
talk to you soon.
230
00:09:49,948 --> 00:09:50,981
Bye-bye.
231
00:09:50,983 --> 00:09:53,149
Okay, with any luck,
232
00:09:53,151 --> 00:09:54,852
this will still work out.
233
00:09:57,689 --> 00:10:00,991
Good morning, my esteemed
host and hostess.
234
00:10:00,993 --> 00:10:02,292
Morning, Spence.
235
00:10:02,294 --> 00:10:03,627
Hey, buddy, grab
yourself some eggs.
236
00:10:03,629 --> 00:10:05,295
Ooh! Don't mind if I do.
237
00:10:05,297 --> 00:10:06,697
By the way, Carrie,
238
00:10:06,699 --> 00:10:09,466
I'm sorry about our little
encounter last night.
239
00:10:09,468 --> 00:10:10,701
In my old life,
240
00:10:10,703 --> 00:10:12,269
I was discouraged from, uh...
241
00:10:12,271 --> 00:10:14,070
locking the bathroom door.
242
00:10:14,072 --> 00:10:16,573
Okay, well... New life.
243
00:10:16,575 --> 00:10:17,808
Hey...
244
00:10:17,810 --> 00:10:19,309
Hear! hear!
245
00:10:19,311 --> 00:10:21,478
Man, I am exhilarated.
246
00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:24,214
I really did it! I moved out!
I did it!
247
00:10:24,216 --> 00:10:27,484
You realize you're not
done doing it, right?
248
00:10:27,486 --> 00:10:28,519
Yeah.
249
00:10:28,521 --> 00:10:29,720
I was gonna get the paper
250
00:10:29,722 --> 00:10:31,021
and start looking
at places today.
251
00:10:31,023 --> 00:10:32,523
You're damn right you're
gonna start today,
252
00:10:32,525 --> 00:10:34,858
because I'm gonna be on you
like a cheap suit, okay?
253
00:10:36,394 --> 00:10:38,995
I could be your best friend, or
I could be your worst enemy.
254
00:10:38,997 --> 00:10:40,363
The choice is yours.
255
00:10:40,365 --> 00:10:41,932
All I know is you're
getting an apartment.
256
00:10:44,035 --> 00:10:46,837
Because we are not running
a charity around here,
257
00:10:46,839 --> 00:10:48,605
okay?
258
00:10:48,607 --> 00:10:50,206
The whole world doesn't revolve...
Okay, Doug, relax!
259
00:10:50,208 --> 00:10:52,008
He said he was going to
start looking today.
260
00:10:52,010 --> 00:10:55,612
Yeah. He says a lot of things.
261
00:10:55,614 --> 00:10:58,014
You and me, we go today after work.
You got it?
262
00:10:58,016 --> 00:10:59,149
Sure.
263
00:10:59,151 --> 00:11:00,751
Happy for the help.
264
00:11:00,753 --> 00:11:02,285
Okay, then.
265
00:11:03,621 --> 00:11:04,688
Good morning.
266
00:11:04,690 --> 00:11:06,156
Good morning, Daddy.
267
00:11:06,158 --> 00:11:08,725
What's this?
268
00:11:10,795 --> 00:11:12,796
Spence moved out
of his mom's house
269
00:11:12,798 --> 00:11:13,964
last night,
270
00:11:13,966 --> 00:11:15,298
so he's gonna stay with us
271
00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:17,133
until he gets a
place of his own.
272
00:11:17,135 --> 00:11:18,435
Uh-huh. I see.
273
00:11:18,437 --> 00:11:19,837
I must have missed
the family meeting
274
00:11:19,839 --> 00:11:22,072
where all this was decided.
275
00:11:24,308 --> 00:11:26,109
There was no family
meeting, Arthur.
276
00:11:26,111 --> 00:11:29,079
Uh-huh. Well, God bless Fascism.
277
00:11:31,015 --> 00:11:35,486
So, where is the
little fellow staying?
278
00:11:35,488 --> 00:11:37,521
On the sofa bed in my office.
279
00:11:37,523 --> 00:11:39,590
Your office? Ah, yes.
280
00:11:39,592 --> 00:11:41,191
The warm, insulated
room upstairs.
281
00:11:42,961 --> 00:11:44,495
I'm familiar with it.
282
00:11:44,497 --> 00:11:47,163
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'll return to my dungeon.
283
00:11:47,165 --> 00:11:48,665
Dad, would you stop it?
284
00:11:48,667 --> 00:11:50,501
Sit down and have breakfast.
285
00:11:50,503 --> 00:11:51,668
I've lost my appetite.
286
00:11:51,670 --> 00:11:54,070
Besides, he's sitting
in my chair.
287
00:11:54,072 --> 00:11:55,205
There's another one!
288
00:11:55,207 --> 00:11:57,608
Not with my initials
carved in it!
289
00:12:00,244 --> 00:12:02,880
Hey, Doug, I'm home.
290
00:12:02,882 --> 00:12:04,265
Hey, buddy. How are you feeling?
291
00:12:04,330 --> 00:12:05,826
Oh, fantastic.
292
00:12:05,851 --> 00:12:07,944
All day at work, I
just had this energy,
293
00:12:08,004 --> 00:12:09,303
this mojo.
294
00:12:09,305 --> 00:12:11,305
This pretty girl, as I
was selling her a token,
295
00:12:11,307 --> 00:12:12,639
smiled at me.
296
00:12:12,641 --> 00:12:15,909
She knew.
297
00:12:15,911 --> 00:12:18,679
There is no question about it.
You look radiant.
298
00:12:18,681 --> 00:12:19,913
All right, look what I got.
299
00:12:19,915 --> 00:12:21,415
I got the Daily News.
300
00:12:21,417 --> 00:12:23,985
I got the Post. I
got the PennySaver.
301
00:12:23,987 --> 00:12:25,419
I even circled
some possibilities
302
00:12:25,421 --> 00:12:26,454
during my lunch hour.
303
00:12:26,456 --> 00:12:28,155
Wow! You are a madman.
304
00:12:28,157 --> 00:12:29,823
Oh, man, I am fearless.
305
00:12:29,825 --> 00:12:30,924
I'm psyched!
306
00:12:30,926 --> 00:12:32,259
Good!
307
00:12:32,261 --> 00:12:34,061
All right, well, let's
find you a place quick
308
00:12:34,063 --> 00:12:35,429
before you come to your senses
309
00:12:35,431 --> 00:12:37,798
and realize how scared
you should be, huh?
310
00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:39,266
What do you mean?
311
00:12:39,268 --> 00:12:40,301
Nothing.
312
00:12:40,303 --> 00:12:41,602
Okay...
313
00:12:41,604 --> 00:12:42,769
Ooh, here's one.
314
00:12:42,771 --> 00:12:44,205
Look at that. That looks good.
315
00:12:44,207 --> 00:12:46,273
Corona Heights,
two-bedroom, one bath.
316
00:12:46,275 --> 00:12:47,441
That sounds interesting.
317
00:12:47,443 --> 00:12:48,775
Yeah, and it says,
"immediate occupancy."
318
00:12:48,777 --> 00:12:50,111
Should we go check it out?
319
00:12:50,113 --> 00:12:51,412
Sure. All right.
320
00:12:51,414 --> 00:12:52,613
Uh-uh. Uh-uh.
321
00:12:52,615 --> 00:12:53,714
What? What?
322
00:12:53,716 --> 00:12:55,082
Mm... First floor.
323
00:12:55,084 --> 00:12:58,352
I don't feel safe with
you on the first floor.
324
00:12:58,354 --> 00:12:59,553
Why not?
325
00:12:59,555 --> 00:13:00,587
Why not?
326
00:13:00,589 --> 00:13:01,889
A burglar walks by,
327
00:13:01,891 --> 00:13:03,124
"Hey, look at that open window.
328
00:13:03,126 --> 00:13:04,525
Slow, fat kid..."
329
00:13:06,061 --> 00:13:08,562
Okay! I didn't think about that.
330
00:13:08,564 --> 00:13:09,897
But what about this one?
331
00:13:09,899 --> 00:13:11,399
Oh, man, I deliver
to that building.
332
00:13:11,401 --> 00:13:12,666
Oh.
333
00:13:12,668 --> 00:13:14,168
You like rats?
334
00:13:16,071 --> 00:13:17,338
Not so much.
335
00:13:17,340 --> 00:13:18,506
Mm...
336
00:13:18,508 --> 00:13:19,740
Oh, but this one is perfect.
337
00:13:19,742 --> 00:13:21,075
Yeah. That is perfect.
338
00:13:21,077 --> 00:13:22,676
And when exactly did
you win the lottery?
339
00:13:22,678 --> 00:13:24,078
Because I don't remember
hearing about it.
340
00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:26,047
Come on! This is ridiculous.
341
00:13:26,049 --> 00:13:27,448
One of these has to be okay.
342
00:13:27,450 --> 00:13:29,050
You know what? If
you know it all,
343
00:13:29,052 --> 00:13:30,651
then you go out and
look for yourself.
344
00:13:30,653 --> 00:13:32,653
Take the first place you see.
Have a great time.
345
00:13:32,655 --> 00:13:33,887
Wait! Don't go.
346
00:13:33,889 --> 00:13:35,523
I want your help.
347
00:13:35,525 --> 00:13:38,659
Okay, then listen
to me, all right?
348
00:13:38,661 --> 00:13:39,793
Finding an apartment
349
00:13:39,795 --> 00:13:41,462
is the most important
decision you'll ever make.
350
00:13:41,464 --> 00:13:43,097
You know, if you pick
the wrong place,
351
00:13:43,099 --> 00:13:44,298
there's no undoing it.
352
00:13:44,300 --> 00:13:46,133
Couldn't I just move?
353
00:13:46,135 --> 00:13:48,602
Can I finish my thought, please?
354
00:13:48,604 --> 00:13:49,736
Sorry.
355
00:13:49,738 --> 00:13:51,805
Okay, now, if we're
gonna do this together,
356
00:13:51,807 --> 00:13:54,608
help me help you.
357
00:13:54,610 --> 00:13:55,976
Okay, what's the first step?
358
00:14:02,551 --> 00:14:05,018
So, huh, you feeling better?
359
00:14:05,020 --> 00:14:07,821
Not really. I kind of wanted
to go look at apartments.
360
00:14:07,823 --> 00:14:09,890
But you kind of want to play
some defense, because...
361
00:14:09,892 --> 00:14:12,526
Boom! I just scored
on your white ass!
362
00:14:12,528 --> 00:14:14,528
Hello, Douglas.
363
00:14:14,530 --> 00:14:15,529
Hey.
364
00:14:15,531 --> 00:14:16,530
Hi, Arthur.
365
00:14:16,532 --> 00:14:19,200
Oh... Good evening.
366
00:14:20,868 --> 00:14:22,536
I heard laughter and some
rather ribald comments
367
00:14:22,538 --> 00:14:23,571
coming from here,
368
00:14:23,573 --> 00:14:26,140
so I thought I
would investigate.
369
00:14:26,142 --> 00:14:28,342
Just playing some foosball.
370
00:14:28,344 --> 00:14:29,843
Funny.
371
00:14:29,845 --> 00:14:32,813
I was under the impression
that foosball was our game.
372
00:14:32,815 --> 00:14:35,382
Arthur, we played half
a game last March,
373
00:14:35,384 --> 00:14:38,352
and you scored three
goals on yourself.
374
00:14:38,354 --> 00:14:41,922
And those memories
mean nothing to you?
375
00:14:41,924 --> 00:14:43,056
Look, we're in the middle
376
00:14:43,058 --> 00:14:44,925
of a very important
tournament here, all right?
377
00:14:44,927 --> 00:14:46,260
You and I can play another time.
378
00:14:46,262 --> 00:14:48,262
Fine. Go ahead and play
with your fancy new friend!
379
00:14:48,264 --> 00:14:49,630
See if I care!
380
00:14:49,632 --> 00:14:52,433
Okay, bye-bye.
381
00:14:52,435 --> 00:14:55,136
Doug, enough of this. I want
to go look at some places.
382
00:14:55,138 --> 00:14:58,372
Good God! You want some
cheese with that whine?
383
00:14:58,374 --> 00:14:59,373
It's after 6:00.
384
00:14:59,375 --> 00:15:00,574
You can do what you want.
385
00:15:00,576 --> 00:15:01,975
I'm gonna look at some of these
386
00:15:01,977 --> 00:15:03,177
before the whole day is shot!
387
00:15:03,179 --> 00:15:04,578
We're in the middle of a game!
388
00:15:04,580 --> 00:15:06,813
It's like you don't want me
to get my own apartment!
389
00:15:06,815 --> 00:15:08,215
I do! Then let me go look!
390
00:15:08,217 --> 00:15:09,550
No! No! Stop! Stop! Stop!
391
00:15:09,552 --> 00:15:10,851
Come on. Come on, please.
392
00:15:10,853 --> 00:15:13,720
All right, look, you're right.
I want you to stay.
393
00:15:13,722 --> 00:15:15,756
I need you around
here for a while.
394
00:15:15,758 --> 00:15:17,458
Why?
395
00:15:17,460 --> 00:15:20,894
Well, the truth is...
It's me and Carrie.
396
00:15:20,896 --> 00:15:23,597
The marriage is in trouble.
397
00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:26,433
God. Really?
398
00:15:26,435 --> 00:15:27,868
Yeah. It's... It's a mess.
399
00:15:27,870 --> 00:15:31,572
Well, you... You do a
good job of hiding it.
400
00:15:31,574 --> 00:15:35,042
Yeah. Well, sometimes, you
got to put on a show.
401
00:15:36,744 --> 00:15:39,079
It must be really difficult now.
402
00:15:39,081 --> 00:15:41,114
I mean, especially
during the holidays.
403
00:15:41,116 --> 00:15:42,416
Yeah. Yeah, it is.
404
00:15:42,418 --> 00:15:44,518
But at least with you
here, she'll, uh...
405
00:15:44,520 --> 00:15:46,520
She'll watch her drinking.
406
00:15:46,522 --> 00:15:47,655
Oh!
407
00:15:50,058 --> 00:15:52,125
Aw, jeez! Jeez, man...
408
00:15:54,095 --> 00:15:56,797
Come here, buddy. Come here.
409
00:15:58,567 --> 00:16:01,968
Aw, that's good medicine.
410
00:16:01,970 --> 00:16:05,606
Hey, let's go play
some foosball.
411
00:16:05,608 --> 00:16:07,241
Sure.
412
00:16:07,243 --> 00:16:08,676
You got to promise me.
413
00:16:08,678 --> 00:16:10,477
You can't tell Carrie anything
about this, all right?
414
00:16:10,479 --> 00:16:11,912
Oh... All right?
415
00:16:11,914 --> 00:16:13,714
As far as she's concerned,
we're still apartment hunting.
416
00:16:13,716 --> 00:16:15,816
Hey, you were there for me.
I'm here for you.
417
00:16:15,818 --> 00:16:17,384
Okay.
418
00:16:17,386 --> 00:16:19,653
There they are.
419
00:16:19,655 --> 00:16:21,555
And they won't let me play!
420
00:16:24,959 --> 00:16:27,394
Doug, what is going on here?
421
00:16:27,396 --> 00:16:29,796
I thought you guys were out
looking for apartments.
422
00:16:29,798 --> 00:16:32,165
We were working on it. We're
just taking a break here.
423
00:16:32,167 --> 00:16:33,967
Could I talk to you
outside for a second?
424
00:16:33,969 --> 00:16:35,001
Sure.
425
00:16:40,408 --> 00:16:42,109
What is going on here?
426
00:16:42,111 --> 00:16:43,577
I know. It's brutal, isn't it?
427
00:16:43,579 --> 00:16:46,113
He's fighting me every
step of the way.
428
00:16:48,516 --> 00:16:50,851
What do you mean,
he's fighting you?
429
00:16:50,853 --> 00:16:53,354
You open up a newspaper,
you point to the rentals,
430
00:16:53,356 --> 00:16:55,155
you say, "Here, you, live. Go!"
431
00:16:55,157 --> 00:16:56,223
Yeah. I know. I know.
432
00:16:56,225 --> 00:16:57,391
Look through the window.
433
00:16:57,393 --> 00:16:58,392
Are there not, like,
several papers
434
00:16:58,394 --> 00:16:59,393
on that table right there?
435
00:16:59,395 --> 00:17:00,994
Okay, so what's the problem?
436
00:17:00,996 --> 00:17:03,029
The problem is...
I'll tell you...
437
00:17:03,031 --> 00:17:04,365
He's completely
petrified of the idea
438
00:17:04,367 --> 00:17:05,466
of living on his own.
439
00:17:05,468 --> 00:17:06,800
He's like a child, you know?
440
00:17:06,802 --> 00:17:08,502
Twice today, he
called me "Mommy."
441
00:17:08,504 --> 00:17:11,605
Once... "Nana."
442
00:17:11,607 --> 00:17:12,873
Oh, my God.
443
00:17:12,875 --> 00:17:15,142
What should we do? You
want me to go talk to him?
444
00:17:15,144 --> 00:17:16,443
No. No, no, no.
445
00:17:16,445 --> 00:17:18,712
Look, he'll get real embarrassed
if he knew I told you.
446
00:17:18,714 --> 00:17:20,748
I'll tell you what.
Let me work on it,
447
00:17:20,750 --> 00:17:22,483
and I'll see if I can
nudge him along.
448
00:17:22,485 --> 00:17:24,050
Do you think you
can nudge him out
449
00:17:24,052 --> 00:17:25,185
by Thursday?
450
00:17:25,187 --> 00:17:27,421
I think I can give it
one hell of a try.
451
00:17:27,423 --> 00:17:29,790
Thank you.
452
00:17:29,792 --> 00:17:33,699
Oh! And let my father
play foosball with you.
453
00:17:35,309 --> 00:17:37,178
Sorry, Arthur. No go.
454
00:17:53,772 --> 00:17:54,806
So Carrie thinks
455
00:17:54,808 --> 00:17:56,574
that Spence is afraid
to get a place,
456
00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:57,642
and Spencer thinks
457
00:17:57,644 --> 00:17:59,778
that you and Carrie
are on the outs?
458
00:17:59,780 --> 00:18:01,112
Yeah, and I told them both
459
00:18:01,114 --> 00:18:02,747
not to talk to each
other about it.
460
00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:04,882
So how's that sound? You
think it'll all hold up?
461
00:18:04,884 --> 00:18:07,084
Sure. Hell, Moose,
you're great at this.
462
00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:08,687
You know, you could
fool around on her
463
00:18:08,689 --> 00:18:10,455
if you wanted to.
464
00:18:10,457 --> 00:18:13,758
Whoa, whoa, whoa, man!
I love my wife.
465
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:14,926
But thank you.
466
00:18:14,928 --> 00:18:16,461
You're welcome.
467
00:18:17,830 --> 00:18:19,063
Yep. All right.
468
00:18:19,065 --> 00:18:21,566
It looks like it's gonna be
a Mike-free Thanksgiving.
469
00:18:25,504 --> 00:18:26,838
It's just that...
470
00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:28,340
What?
471
00:18:28,342 --> 00:18:29,607
For some reason,
472
00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:32,310
I just keep thinking like
I overlooked something.
473
00:18:39,585 --> 00:18:41,219
Hi.
474
00:18:41,221 --> 00:18:42,654
Still here, I see.
475
00:18:42,656 --> 00:18:44,723
Oh, yeah.
476
00:18:44,725 --> 00:18:46,858
Are you done in the bathroom?
477
00:18:46,860 --> 00:18:49,260
Oh, I'm done.
478
00:18:55,033 --> 00:18:56,267
Oh, darling? Yeah?
479
00:18:56,269 --> 00:18:57,869
There's a leaky faucet up there.
480
00:18:57,871 --> 00:18:59,471
You may want to look at it.
481
00:19:00,038 --> 00:19:02,006
Okay.
482
00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:06,644
CARRIE: Oh, man! SPENCER: Aah!
483
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:07,679
Aah! Spence!
484
00:19:09,215 --> 00:19:11,315
I think my point is made.
485
00:19:11,317 --> 00:19:13,050
He doesn't belong here.
486
00:19:15,721 --> 00:19:19,323
SPENCER: Oh! I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
487
00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:21,693
Spence, you have to stop
letting me see you naked!
488
00:19:21,695 --> 00:19:23,695
It's very, very disturbing!
489
00:19:23,697 --> 00:19:25,963
I know. I'm sorry.
490
00:19:25,965 --> 00:19:27,732
God, what is the
big deal, anyway?
491
00:19:27,734 --> 00:19:28,833
About what?
492
00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:30,167
Look, I know you're scared,
493
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:32,771
but you just got to suck it
up and get your own place
494
00:19:32,773 --> 00:19:34,305
and stop calling my
husband "Mommy"!
495
00:19:35,708 --> 00:19:38,075
Oh, God! You're drunk.
496
00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:44,816
What are you talking about?
497
00:19:44,818 --> 00:19:46,751
What are you talking about?
498
00:19:49,889 --> 00:19:53,224
Mike is very, very annoying.
499
00:19:53,226 --> 00:19:55,359
So, all this time,
500
00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:58,696
just to keep Mike and
Susie from coming,
501
00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:02,133
you've been stopping Spence
from getting an apartment?
502
00:20:02,135 --> 00:20:05,136
I can't say I've been
making it easy for him.
503
00:20:05,138 --> 00:20:07,171
Did he even want to
move out of his Mom's
504
00:20:07,173 --> 00:20:08,540
in the first place?
505
00:20:08,542 --> 00:20:11,075
I like to think so.
506
00:20:11,077 --> 00:20:12,877
You are psychotic.
507
00:20:12,879 --> 00:20:14,712
I can't believe you did all this
508
00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:17,048
just to avoid
spending one weekend
509
00:20:17,050 --> 00:20:18,650
with a boring guy.
510
00:20:18,652 --> 00:20:20,718
Look, I admit it, okay?
511
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:22,386
I was a little out of my mind.
512
00:20:22,388 --> 00:20:23,822
I was like one of those mothers
513
00:20:23,824 --> 00:20:25,657
who lifts up the car
to save her baby.
514
00:20:25,659 --> 00:20:26,891
The adrenalin was pumping!
515
00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:27,992
I'm sorry.
516
00:20:27,994 --> 00:20:30,127
Yeah. Sorry. Okay. Thanks.
517
00:20:30,129 --> 00:20:32,096
I mean, Susie is one
of my best friends.
518
00:20:32,098 --> 00:20:33,898
I mean, I never get
to see her anymore.
519
00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:36,400
This was a perfect opportunity
520
00:20:36,402 --> 00:20:38,503
for us to spend a
little time together.
521
00:20:38,505 --> 00:20:40,171
Look, look...
522
00:20:40,173 --> 00:20:42,540
I caused this
problem, all right?
523
00:20:42,542 --> 00:20:44,642
So I'm gonna fix it.
524
00:20:44,644 --> 00:20:46,344
How? How? It's already
Tuesday night.
525
00:20:46,346 --> 00:20:48,546
How are you gonna find Spence
an apartment in one day?
526
00:20:48,548 --> 00:20:50,348
Well, I don't know
if I can for sure,
527
00:20:50,350 --> 00:20:51,583
but I'll tell you this.
528
00:20:51,585 --> 00:20:53,250
We will apartment hunt
all day long, okay?
529
00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:54,786
Sun-up to sundown,
530
00:20:54,788 --> 00:20:56,053
we will pound that pavement.
531
00:20:56,055 --> 00:20:57,856
That is my pledge to you!
532
00:21:18,811 --> 00:21:21,379
Do you realize how
much raw sewage
533
00:21:21,381 --> 00:21:24,248
is seeping into that groundwater
534
00:21:24,250 --> 00:21:26,050
every day?
535
00:21:26,052 --> 00:21:29,320
No.
536
00:21:29,322 --> 00:21:34,425
8900 cubic meters.
537
00:21:34,427 --> 00:21:35,727
Hmm... Well...
538
00:21:35,729 --> 00:21:38,730
I knew it was in
the 80's, but wow!
539
00:21:38,732 --> 00:21:40,932
God, this has been so much fun!
540
00:21:40,934 --> 00:21:43,167
You know, you guys have
to come up to our place
541
00:21:43,169 --> 00:21:45,069
for Easter.
542
00:21:45,071 --> 00:21:46,137
You know what?
543
00:21:46,139 --> 00:21:47,572
Doug and I both
have that week off.
544
00:21:47,574 --> 00:21:48,573
We're there.
545
00:21:48,575 --> 00:21:49,941
Right, Doug?
546
00:22:15,825 --> 00:22:17,293
Yo, Spence. Hustle it up!
547
00:22:17,295 --> 00:22:18,294
I'm coming!
548
00:22:18,296 --> 00:22:19,662
The turkey's ready. I...
549
00:22:21,547 --> 00:22:23,615
Has anybody seen my loofah?
37373
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
