Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,909 --> 00:00:03,071
Come on, Stan. That's
enough sniffing.
2
00:00:03,071 --> 00:00:04,196
How about some action?
3
00:00:04,632 --> 00:00:08,242
Doug. Fine-looking lady, 12:00.
4
00:00:11,609 --> 00:00:13,709
Look at the walking
sticks on her.
5
00:00:13,771 --> 00:00:14,837
She's the A train,
6
00:00:14,862 --> 00:00:16,529
and it's a lucky man
who's holding the token.
7
00:00:16,554 --> 00:00:17,668
All aboard!
8
00:00:19,635 --> 00:00:21,130
You know what I'm sayin', huh?
9
00:00:21,312 --> 00:00:23,613
Yeah, she's, uh...
she's pretty cute.
10
00:00:23,981 --> 00:00:25,547
What did you say?
11
00:00:25,572 --> 00:00:27,511
I'm agreeing with you.
She's cute.
12
00:00:28,987 --> 00:00:29,740
You're putting me
13
00:00:29,765 --> 00:00:32,320
in a very uncomfortable
position here, Douglas.
14
00:00:32,354 --> 00:00:33,200
What?
15
00:00:33,657 --> 00:00:34,977
You're married to my daughter,
16
00:00:35,002 --> 00:00:37,329
and you're ogling another
woman right in front of me?
17
00:00:37,354 --> 00:00:38,575
How dare you?
18
00:00:39,472 --> 00:00:41,625
I'm just trying to walk my dog.
19
00:00:41,755 --> 00:00:42,901
Fine!
20
00:00:43,892 --> 00:00:45,279
Sweet charity.
21
00:00:45,768 --> 00:00:47,739
That's a tasty
looking lamb chop.
22
00:00:48,754 --> 00:00:50,033
You with me?
23
00:00:53,547 --> 00:00:55,147
Ee-ee.
24
00:01:41,068 --> 00:01:41,568
Hey, boy.
25
00:01:41,593 --> 00:01:42,377
Whoo hoo!
26
00:01:42,782 --> 00:01:44,253
Thought you guys weren't
getting here till, like, 8:00.
27
00:01:44,278 --> 00:01:45,355
Well, we could have
got here at 8:00,
28
00:01:45,355 --> 00:01:46,315
but then it would
have been too late
29
00:01:46,315 --> 00:01:48,567
to sit behind home
plate at the Met game!
30
00:01:48,608 --> 00:01:49,551
The Mets? Tonight?
31
00:01:49,823 --> 00:01:51,094
I could kiss you on the mouth!
32
00:01:51,284 --> 00:01:53,864
Excuse me. I'm the one
who bought the tickets.
33
00:01:55,395 --> 00:01:56,475
Gotta go, gents.
34
00:01:56,520 --> 00:01:58,268
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me just
leave a note for Carrie.
35
00:01:58,405 --> 00:02:00,687
Did you know beers are
$5.50 at Shea now?
36
00:02:00,926 --> 00:02:03,482
Oh yeah? Well,
they're free here.
37
00:02:09,795 --> 00:02:14,326
Ohh! I had the worst day!
38
00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:17,663
You did, huh?
39
00:02:22,318 --> 00:02:24,586
Want to, uh, very quickly
tell me about it?
40
00:02:26,217 --> 00:02:27,363
My firm just won
41
00:02:27,363 --> 00:02:28,648
that big airline case
42
00:02:28,651 --> 00:02:30,253
which I worked 2,000 hours on,
43
00:02:30,253 --> 00:02:31,610
and my boss walks
around the office
44
00:02:31,610 --> 00:02:33,403
and thanks everybody
personally by name.
45
00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:34,680
Did I get a thanks?
46
00:02:34,866 --> 00:02:37,140
Um... I hope so.
47
00:02:39,296 --> 00:02:40,138
No-o-o.
48
00:02:40,138 --> 00:02:42,287
I got a "Where's my bagel?"
49
00:02:42,287 --> 00:02:45,832
I was so ticked off that I
stole a bottle of White-out,
50
00:02:46,148 --> 00:02:47,734
and it opened in my purse.
51
00:02:49,401 --> 00:02:50,445
Hug, honey.
52
00:02:50,690 --> 00:02:53,156
Uh... yeah. Sure. Come here.
53
00:02:53,181 --> 00:02:55,081
Aw! Mmm!
54
00:02:55,119 --> 00:02:57,183
Yeah! There you go.
You feel better?
55
00:02:57,208 --> 00:02:59,241
That's good, huh? Yeah!
56
00:03:00,446 --> 00:03:01,331
Yeah.
57
00:03:01,471 --> 00:03:02,624
Massage?
58
00:03:08,654 --> 00:03:09,529
Okay, why am I the one
59
00:03:09,554 --> 00:03:10,921
who has to smuggle beer in?
60
00:03:10,946 --> 00:03:12,693
Because you're oddly
shaped as it is.
61
00:03:13,346 --> 00:03:14,345
Suck in your stomach.
62
00:03:14,370 --> 00:03:16,763
Okay. Uh! Cold beer! Cold!
63
00:03:17,743 --> 00:03:19,509
What's taking Doug so long?
64
00:03:19,667 --> 00:03:22,352
Mmm...
65
00:03:23,601 --> 00:03:26,231
Honey, that feels so good.
66
00:03:26,963 --> 00:03:30,877
You're my official rub boy
for the rest of the night.
67
00:03:31,806 --> 00:03:33,922
Okay, stop it! Stop it!
You're in the eye!
68
00:03:34,505 --> 00:03:36,241
Oh, hi, Carrie.
69
00:03:36,266 --> 00:03:36,882
Hi!
70
00:03:36,907 --> 00:03:39,340
Uh, Doug, it's a quarter of.
71
00:03:42,934 --> 00:03:44,124
What's up?
72
00:03:44,256 --> 00:03:46,623
Ha. Spence got us Met tickets.
73
00:03:47,419 --> 00:03:49,296
It's all here in the note.
74
00:03:49,702 --> 00:03:51,023
Why didn't you just tell me?
75
00:03:51,034 --> 00:03:52,683
Why'd you let me keep babbling?
76
00:03:52,683 --> 00:03:54,443
Because I care about you.
77
00:03:54,866 --> 00:03:57,137
I also care about the
Mets, so I was torn.
78
00:03:58,130 --> 00:04:00,056
Go have fun! Go!
79
00:04:00,056 --> 00:04:01,342
Really? Yeah?
80
00:04:01,361 --> 00:04:02,052
Yes! Yeah, go!
81
00:04:02,052 --> 00:04:05,095
Okay. You should call a friend
82
00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:06,336
and go out too, you
know, have a good time!
83
00:04:06,338 --> 00:04:07,515
Yeah, maybe. I'll see.
84
00:04:07,515 --> 00:04:09,594
We always said that Friday
night was friend night.
85
00:04:09,594 --> 00:04:11,174
Honey, would you just go?
I'll be fine.
86
00:04:11,174 --> 00:04:12,069
I lov... Doug!
87
00:04:12,069 --> 00:04:14,029
Coming now! See you later, okay?
88
00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:18,008
Hey, Kel, it's me. Listen,
89
00:04:18,180 --> 00:04:19,843
wanna go grab some
dinner tonight?
90
00:04:20,863 --> 00:04:22,788
Oh, I don't mind going
with you and the kids.
91
00:04:24,122 --> 00:04:26,375
You promised them Chuck E.
Cheese, huh?
92
00:04:27,993 --> 00:04:30,687
Hey, Lynn. I know we haven't
talked for three years,
93
00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:31,855
but I gotta tell ya...
94
00:04:33,866 --> 00:04:37,052
I don't even remember
what our fight was about.
95
00:04:38,872 --> 00:04:39,763
Okay? Lynn?
96
00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:41,890
Lynn. L-Lynn?
97
00:04:42,281 --> 00:04:43,266
Lynn!
98
00:04:43,406 --> 00:04:46,244
Okay, fine. You know what?
You're still a slut.
99
00:04:52,026 --> 00:04:52,828
Hey, you!
100
00:04:52,837 --> 00:04:53,645
Hey, how was the game?
101
00:04:53,645 --> 00:04:55,457
Oh, it was great! Extra innings.
102
00:04:55,461 --> 00:04:56,446
Which means...
103
00:04:56,659 --> 00:04:58,400
let's face it, I ate more.
104
00:05:00,562 --> 00:05:01,637
Mmm...
105
00:05:01,823 --> 00:05:04,096
Guessing you didn't
go out tonight.
106
00:05:04,578 --> 00:05:05,539
Nah!
107
00:05:06,220 --> 00:05:09,042
Oh. That's a... lotta gumballs.
108
00:05:10,937 --> 00:05:12,754
It's pretty easy, once
you get the edges.
109
00:05:13,300 --> 00:05:14,423
Still...
110
00:05:15,505 --> 00:05:17,291
Thought you were gonna
call one of your friends.
111
00:05:17,348 --> 00:05:18,981
I don't have any friends.
112
00:05:19,006 --> 00:05:20,744
What are you talking about?
You have friends.
113
00:05:20,769 --> 00:05:21,768
Well, I did.
114
00:05:22,050 --> 00:05:23,982
Now they all have babies
115
00:05:24,007 --> 00:05:26,442
or they hate me
or I hate them...
116
00:05:28,678 --> 00:05:29,746
Why don't we just
117
00:05:29,771 --> 00:05:31,957
forget this whole
friend-night thing,
118
00:05:31,957 --> 00:05:35,210
and you and I just hang
out on Friday night?
119
00:05:35,527 --> 00:05:36,827
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
120
00:05:36,829 --> 00:05:39,596
That's... certainly
one way to go.
121
00:05:41,733 --> 00:05:44,517
Or... we keep friend night
122
00:05:44,542 --> 00:05:46,830
and we find you a friend, huh?
123
00:05:48,183 --> 00:05:49,315
Find me a friend.
124
00:05:49,315 --> 00:05:51,418
Okay, that doesn't make
me sound too pathetic.
125
00:05:52,661 --> 00:05:54,020
You know what? I
just remembered.
126
00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:55,438
There's a woman about your age
127
00:05:55,438 --> 00:05:56,423
who just moved in
down the street!
128
00:05:56,608 --> 00:05:57,308
So?
129
00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:59,718
It's fate! Hi, fate!
130
00:06:05,050 --> 00:06:05,484
Hey.
131
00:06:05,686 --> 00:06:07,350
Neighbors. Just came
by to say howdy.
132
00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:09,793
What? Yes!
133
00:06:09,795 --> 00:06:12,162
Yes. Thank you very much.
134
00:06:12,769 --> 00:06:15,032
I'm sorry. I'll be with
you in two seconds.
135
00:06:15,034 --> 00:06:17,768
I just need to find my...
136
00:06:18,614 --> 00:06:20,117
I'm sorry. What did y...
You're neighbors?
137
00:06:20,117 --> 00:06:22,014
Yes indeed. Doug and
Carrie Heffernan.
138
00:06:22,014 --> 00:06:24,474
Just came by to welcome
you to the 'hood.
139
00:06:25,282 --> 00:06:26,286
Hi. I'm Carrie.
140
00:06:26,377 --> 00:06:27,412
Hi, hi, hi.
141
00:06:27,878 --> 00:06:29,289
Got a name there?
142
00:06:29,839 --> 00:06:31,200
Yeah! Oh, sorry.
143
00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:32,415
Yeah. Jessica Wicks.
144
00:06:32,415 --> 00:06:35,171
I'm sorry. I'm... so frazzled!
145
00:06:35,382 --> 00:06:36,372
I just... I've spent
the last two days
146
00:06:36,397 --> 00:06:37,613
moving out of my loft,
147
00:06:37,613 --> 00:06:39,520
which I had every right to
keep, but you know what?
148
00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:41,486
My ex-husband can have
it, he can enjoy it.
149
00:06:41,486 --> 00:06:42,451
With any luck, he'll trip
150
00:06:42,451 --> 00:06:44,863
and split his head open
on the coffee table.
151
00:06:46,473 --> 00:06:47,724
This is nice.
152
00:06:48,516 --> 00:06:49,726
Oh, there they are.
153
00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:51,968
Oh! Hey, smoker, honey, huh?
154
00:06:51,970 --> 00:06:53,570
Carrie here used to
be a big smoker.
155
00:06:53,603 --> 00:06:54,372
Still would be, too,
156
00:06:54,372 --> 00:06:56,166
but she started to
cough up black stuff.
157
00:06:57,109 --> 00:06:58,652
Ah, but she loved it.
158
00:06:59,397 --> 00:07:00,562
So, what house you in?
159
00:07:00,594 --> 00:07:02,322
Uh, 8013, just down the block.
160
00:07:02,383 --> 00:07:03,186
Oh, wait a minute.
161
00:07:03,186 --> 00:07:05,828
There's a really cute guy
who came out of 8017.
162
00:07:05,828 --> 00:07:07,035
Mmm. Freak.
163
00:07:07,175 --> 00:07:07,730
Really?
164
00:07:07,730 --> 00:07:09,763
Mm-hmm. He has a rabbit.
He walks it.
165
00:07:10,589 --> 00:07:11,580
You'll see him.
166
00:07:11,605 --> 00:07:13,719
Shoot, I was hoping
for a piece of that.
167
00:07:13,719 --> 00:07:15,335
Me too!
168
00:07:16,261 --> 00:07:19,462
Oh. Kidding, honey.
169
00:07:19,464 --> 00:07:21,098
Ha ha. Hey, look at this!
170
00:07:21,100 --> 00:07:22,609
You both want to sleep
with the same guy.
171
00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:23,843
Hey, I'll watch the rabbit.
172
00:07:34,855 --> 00:07:35,855
Douglas.
173
00:07:35,925 --> 00:07:36,990
Arthur.
174
00:07:37,332 --> 00:07:39,317
Thank God it's dinner time.
175
00:07:40,032 --> 00:07:41,945
T.G.I.D., right?
176
00:07:43,049 --> 00:07:43,738
What?
177
00:07:47,242 --> 00:07:48,535
Nevermind. Nevermind.
178
00:07:57,752 --> 00:07:58,795
So...
179
00:07:59,094 --> 00:07:59,713
did you have a good day?
180
00:07:59,870 --> 00:08:01,006
Oh, yeah. Very busy.
181
00:08:01,423 --> 00:08:02,549
Long story short,
182
00:08:02,568 --> 00:08:04,651
all the shag carpet is
now the same length.
183
00:08:18,106 --> 00:08:20,483
Hey, w-where's the food?
184
00:08:20,515 --> 00:08:21,526
I don't know.
185
00:08:22,548 --> 00:08:24,905
It's usually... just right here.
186
00:08:25,744 --> 00:08:26,615
What do we do?
187
00:08:26,762 --> 00:08:27,674
I don't know.
188
00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:28,675
What do we do?
189
00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:30,869
I know about as much
as you do right now.
190
00:08:33,830 --> 00:08:34,873
Carrie!
191
00:08:35,123 --> 00:08:35,627
Sweetheart?
192
00:08:35,627 --> 00:08:36,875
Carrie!
193
00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:42,213
Douglas, is there a plan "B"?
194
00:08:45,116 --> 00:08:46,253
Are you kidding me?
195
00:08:46,253 --> 00:08:48,011
They're huge, and she
still says they're real!
196
00:08:48,011 --> 00:08:50,263
Oh, stop. They still have
the price tag on them.
197
00:08:51,239 --> 00:08:52,615
Hi, sweetie. Hi, Dad.
198
00:08:52,615 --> 00:08:54,450
Hiya, Doug. Hi, Mr. Spooner.
199
00:08:54,450 --> 00:08:56,102
Please, call me Dutch.
200
00:08:57,508 --> 00:08:58,980
Sorry we're late.
We were shopping,
201
00:08:59,008 --> 00:09:00,999
and we picked up some Greek food
from this place Jess knows.
202
00:09:00,999 --> 00:09:03,126
So you guys were together
again today, huh?
203
00:09:03,126 --> 00:09:04,836
Hey, I did a pretty good job.
204
00:09:04,836 --> 00:09:06,696
I got a natural ability
for this, don't I?
205
00:09:07,064 --> 00:09:08,882
It's a gift. It's a gift.
It really is.
206
00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:11,274
God gave me the gift.
I got the pow-ah!
207
00:09:13,573 --> 00:09:14,204
So this morning,
208
00:09:14,274 --> 00:09:16,681
I'm scanning bar codes
with the new 826 for...
209
00:09:16,681 --> 00:09:18,189
It's gotta be like half
the morning, right?
210
00:09:18,189 --> 00:09:19,726
I mean, I scan, send it out,
211
00:09:19,726 --> 00:09:21,060
scan, send it out.
212
00:09:21,060 --> 00:09:22,562
Then I check down
finally at my...
213
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:23,813
What sauce goes on
these lumpy balls?
214
00:09:23,813 --> 00:09:25,964
Lumpy balls... white stuff.
215
00:09:25,984 --> 00:09:26,925
Ah, thank you.
216
00:09:28,468 --> 00:09:30,445
Anyway, I look down
at the databank,
217
00:09:30,445 --> 00:09:31,738
and there's nothing!
There's no data.
218
00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:33,198
And the packages,
they're out there,
219
00:09:33,198 --> 00:09:33,924
they're gone...
220
00:09:33,924 --> 00:09:35,283
Oh, my God!
221
00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:36,576
This is awesome!
222
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:37,619
I know, I know.
223
00:09:37,619 --> 00:09:39,788
Can you even believe there
is a place this good
224
00:09:39,788 --> 00:09:41,164
in that skeevy little mini-mall?
225
00:09:41,164 --> 00:09:43,249
I know! You know what?
This goes to show you.
226
00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:44,751
Maybe we should try
that gynecologist
227
00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:45,648
on the second floor.
228
00:09:45,673 --> 00:09:46,294
You first.
229
00:09:46,294 --> 00:09:47,195
You first, lady!
230
00:09:47,549 --> 00:09:50,782
Oh, ha, ha, ha!
231
00:09:54,270 --> 00:09:56,287
Oh! I'm sorry, honey.
What were you saying?
232
00:09:56,591 --> 00:09:59,265
Okay. So the packages,
they're gone, right?
233
00:09:59,286 --> 00:10:01,440
Without a shred of data.
Oh, and by the way,
234
00:10:01,626 --> 00:10:04,062
This all happening on a day
when we're a man short.
235
00:10:04,163 --> 00:10:05,661
So what I do is...
236
00:10:05,663 --> 00:10:08,604
Oh, that's me. Oh. Do you mind?
237
00:10:08,604 --> 00:10:11,937
No, no, no. Just remember,
scanner broken. Man short.
238
00:10:11,962 --> 00:10:13,071
Hello?
239
00:10:13,585 --> 00:10:15,682
Oh, hi! Uh-huh.
240
00:10:15,866 --> 00:10:18,118
It's Steve. Yeah.
241
00:10:18,153 --> 00:10:18,931
Who's Steve?
242
00:10:18,931 --> 00:10:19,994
Shh, shh, shh!
243
00:10:20,217 --> 00:10:21,830
Who did she say Steve was?
244
00:10:21,830 --> 00:10:23,039
She didn't say.
245
00:10:23,039 --> 00:10:24,024
Steve Allen?
246
00:10:25,232 --> 00:10:27,524
Shh! It's her ex-husband.
247
00:10:27,599 --> 00:10:30,137
No, I do not have your
precious DVD player.
248
00:10:30,162 --> 00:10:32,134
I don't even know
what a DVD player is.
249
00:10:32,159 --> 00:10:33,146
I have it.
250
00:10:33,171 --> 00:10:34,384
Good, good.
251
00:10:34,491 --> 00:10:37,220
So, listen, I'm pulling into
a parking garage right now,
252
00:10:37,220 --> 00:10:38,304
so if I lose you, I'll...
253
00:10:38,596 --> 00:10:43,048
Ho ho! Ooh! Parking garage.
I like that.
254
00:10:43,073 --> 00:10:44,067
You know, I usually
use "tunnel,"
255
00:10:44,067 --> 00:10:45,895
but I think people are
catching on to that one.
256
00:10:52,635 --> 00:10:53,975
So, um, anyway,
257
00:10:53,975 --> 00:10:54,904
you were saying about work...
258
00:10:54,904 --> 00:10:55,947
The scale at work?
259
00:10:55,947 --> 00:10:56,823
It's a scanner.
260
00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:59,325
Mm! Right. The scanner.
Okay, so what happened?
261
00:11:00,098 --> 00:11:04,789
Okay... uh... scanner broken. Man down.
Packages gone, right?
262
00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:07,108
And then... turns out
263
00:11:07,226 --> 00:11:09,027
one of the packages on the truck
264
00:11:09,597 --> 00:11:11,571
was full of scanners.
265
00:11:19,378 --> 00:11:20,745
That's funny, baby.
266
00:11:20,770 --> 00:11:21,681
It is funny!
267
00:11:21,706 --> 00:11:23,573
Oh, sure, it's funny.
Barrel of laughs!
268
00:11:24,042 --> 00:11:26,519
Until little Jimmy doesn't
get his new bike!
269
00:11:28,409 --> 00:11:29,898
Y-you don't understand
the point of the story.
270
00:11:29,898 --> 00:11:32,275
See, it's ironic that
our scanner went down
271
00:11:32,275 --> 00:11:34,110
and we sent out a perfectly
good box of scanners
272
00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:35,486
without scanning it!
273
00:11:35,677 --> 00:11:36,803
That's not ironic.
274
00:11:36,803 --> 00:11:38,031
Yes, it is!
275
00:11:38,611 --> 00:11:40,600
Forget it! I'm getting a beer!
276
00:11:41,860 --> 00:11:42,994
CARRIE: So what else did you get
277
00:11:42,994 --> 00:11:44,037
besides the DVD player?
278
00:11:44,097 --> 00:11:45,622
JESSICA: His Soloflex
and his insulin.
279
00:11:45,647 --> 00:11:47,332
You got the insulin?
280
00:11:47,332 --> 00:11:49,042
Yes, I did. I hid it.
281
00:11:54,701 --> 00:11:56,783
Ow! Not a twist-off!
282
00:12:13,432 --> 00:12:15,782
No, Jess, you were
totally right.
283
00:12:15,782 --> 00:12:16,761
Hey!
284
00:12:18,388 --> 00:12:20,657
No! If they screwed it up,
285
00:12:20,657 --> 00:12:22,016
you shouldn't have
to pay for it.
286
00:12:22,572 --> 00:12:23,560
I'm home.
287
00:12:24,945 --> 00:12:26,127
No, I've done that.
288
00:12:26,127 --> 00:12:27,622
About, like, a year ago,
289
00:12:27,622 --> 00:12:29,082
they made my nails
look like crap,
290
00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:30,024
and I just walked out.
291
00:12:32,709 --> 00:12:35,780
Uh-huh. And then what'd she say?
292
00:12:38,041 --> 00:12:39,325
Really?
293
00:12:43,288 --> 00:12:44,914
So what happened?
294
00:12:57,131 --> 00:12:58,511
She still talking to Jessica?
295
00:13:00,180 --> 00:13:01,389
Uh, yeah.
296
00:13:01,971 --> 00:13:04,142
Oh, that young lady is
a breath of fresh air.
297
00:13:04,163 --> 00:13:06,411
Such passion, such
joie de vivre,
298
00:13:06,411 --> 00:13:09,080
Something we could use a
little more of around here.
299
00:13:09,856 --> 00:13:11,649
What are you trying to say?
300
00:13:11,911 --> 00:13:14,043
That was not your best
package story last night.
301
00:13:15,824 --> 00:13:17,238
I was interrupted.
302
00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:18,990
Whatever helps you
sleep at night.
303
00:13:22,243 --> 00:13:23,935
Honey, you're going
out with your friends
304
00:13:23,937 --> 00:13:24,567
Friday night, right?
305
00:13:24,567 --> 00:13:26,187
No, well, we didn't talk
yet, but I don't even...
306
00:13:26,187 --> 00:13:27,123
Yeah, I can go.
307
00:13:27,552 --> 00:13:28,666
Yeah. That sounds great.
308
00:13:29,250 --> 00:13:31,711
Yah, I can go. Yah,
that sounds great. Yah.
309
00:13:39,135 --> 00:13:43,014
Friday night. Out with the boys.
310
00:13:44,474 --> 00:13:46,517
Me and the boys.
311
00:13:48,436 --> 00:13:49,938
Are out.
312
00:13:52,565 --> 00:13:53,775
What are we gonna do?
313
00:13:53,885 --> 00:13:54,876
There's gotta be one movie
314
00:13:54,876 --> 00:13:55,752
that isn't sold out.
315
00:13:55,752 --> 00:13:58,321
I said we should've bought
tickets over the phone.
316
00:13:58,346 --> 00:13:59,280
That's gay.
317
00:14:01,810 --> 00:14:04,886
What is gay about buying
tickets over the phone?
318
00:14:04,886 --> 00:14:05,803
It just is.
319
00:14:06,612 --> 00:14:08,806
You know where Carrie and
Jessica went tonight?
320
00:14:08,806 --> 00:14:11,084
They went to a jazz club.
You believe that crap?
321
00:14:13,628 --> 00:14:14,879
I like jazz.
322
00:14:21,719 --> 00:14:23,304
Hey, Dougie!
323
00:14:24,597 --> 00:14:26,224
Well, somebody's in a good mood.
324
00:14:26,474 --> 00:14:28,559
I guess you really
like jazz, huh?
325
00:14:28,935 --> 00:14:31,229
Nah. We left after 10 minutes.
We went bowling.
326
00:14:31,396 --> 00:14:32,563
Bowling? You hate bowling.
327
00:14:32,730 --> 00:14:34,665
I don't think you can call
what we did "bowling."
328
00:14:34,665 --> 00:14:36,609
I think combined we
bowled, like, a 20.
329
00:14:37,068 --> 00:14:39,337
And, oh, by the way,
330
00:14:39,337 --> 00:14:41,089
I got hit on by the
shoe rental guy,
331
00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:42,673
so treat me right, baby.
332
00:14:44,867 --> 00:14:46,119
Yeah, could you, uh...
333
00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:47,595
could you come here for a sec?
334
00:14:47,595 --> 00:14:48,121
Huh?
335
00:14:48,519 --> 00:14:50,748
I think we, uh, need
to have a little talk.
336
00:14:50,887 --> 00:14:54,252
Oh, sure. What's up?
337
00:14:55,131 --> 00:14:56,249
If you had to think of one thing
338
00:14:56,249 --> 00:14:57,296
missing from our marriage,
339
00:14:57,463 --> 00:14:58,881
What would that be?
340
00:14:59,757 --> 00:15:01,259
A commitment to dieting?
341
00:15:04,971 --> 00:15:05,618
Fair enough.
342
00:15:05,618 --> 00:15:07,865
But that's really just me.
I meant...
343
00:15:07,865 --> 00:15:09,726
from us together,
like as a couple.
344
00:15:10,018 --> 00:15:10,727
Foreplay?
345
00:15:10,935 --> 00:15:12,020
Again, more me.
346
00:15:14,503 --> 00:15:15,623
All right, I'm gonna
stop the bleeding here
347
00:15:15,648 --> 00:15:16,833
and just tell you
what's on my mind.
348
00:15:17,125 --> 00:15:18,276
There ya go.
349
00:15:19,110 --> 00:15:21,587
I just think that if you
and I don't, you know,
350
00:15:21,738 --> 00:15:24,782
make an effort to spend
more quality time together,
351
00:15:25,116 --> 00:15:28,411
potentially we could... veer.
352
00:15:29,894 --> 00:15:30,459
Veer.
353
00:15:30,459 --> 00:15:31,706
Veer. Yeah. Veer.
354
00:15:32,097 --> 00:15:35,877
Like... we started here, okay?
355
00:15:36,736 --> 00:15:39,213
But lately we've kinda
gone like this.
356
00:15:40,125 --> 00:15:43,694
What we need to do is
go back to here, okay?
357
00:15:43,719 --> 00:15:45,094
Because when we're here...
358
00:15:45,511 --> 00:15:47,722
I wanna be a part of this...
359
00:15:48,139 --> 00:15:52,483
but I'm over here... so I can't.
360
00:15:55,855 --> 00:15:57,857
So what you're saying is
361
00:15:58,191 --> 00:15:59,275
you hate Jessica.
362
00:15:59,372 --> 00:16:01,489
No, no, no!
363
00:16:01,527 --> 00:16:03,312
No, she's fine. She's fine.
364
00:16:03,337 --> 00:16:03,828
It's just that..
365
00:16:04,422 --> 00:16:06,157
I think maybe it's
not such a good idea
366
00:16:06,157 --> 00:16:07,800
that you spend so
much time with her.
367
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,094
Excuse me! You're the one who
dragged me down the block
368
00:16:10,094 --> 00:16:10,966
so I could have a friend.
369
00:16:10,966 --> 00:16:12,074
I did want you to have a friend.
370
00:16:12,074 --> 00:16:14,390
I just... didn't think
you'd be this good at it.
371
00:16:16,066 --> 00:16:18,019
Well, yeah, it turns
out that I'm lovable.
372
00:16:18,019 --> 00:16:19,187
Who knew?
373
00:16:19,745 --> 00:16:20,188
Come on, Carrie.
374
00:16:20,188 --> 00:16:20,755
All I'm saying is
375
00:16:20,755 --> 00:16:22,590
I wanna spend some
more time with you.
376
00:16:22,882 --> 00:16:24,050
Okay, when?
377
00:16:24,258 --> 00:16:25,426
Tomorrow. Can't do it.
378
00:16:25,593 --> 00:16:27,296
Come on!
379
00:16:27,296 --> 00:16:30,621
Honey, I have to go buy a
dress for my work party.
380
00:16:30,623 --> 00:16:32,158
You don't want to come
shopping with me, do you?
381
00:16:32,158 --> 00:16:34,435
Uh, very much so. Yes!
382
00:16:35,094 --> 00:16:37,361
Listen, if you and
I don't reconnect,
383
00:16:37,848 --> 00:16:38,831
I feel a veer coming...
384
00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:40,625
Okay. Don't do the
hand thing again.
385
00:16:43,969 --> 00:16:46,072
Okay, what do you
think of this one?
386
00:16:46,781 --> 00:16:48,699
The bows are kinda
stupid, right?
387
00:16:49,033 --> 00:16:50,868
Well, I wouldn't call
them stupid, no.
388
00:16:51,202 --> 00:16:53,955
Whimsical, yes, unexpected, yes.
389
00:16:54,580 --> 00:16:56,290
Are you sure you
want to be here?
390
00:16:56,337 --> 00:16:57,375
Yes!
391
00:16:57,583 --> 00:16:59,133
Because you could go
down to the food court,
392
00:16:59,133 --> 00:17:01,229
you know, and get a Cinnabon.
No, no, no, no.
393
00:17:01,963 --> 00:17:05,650
I mean, later, yes, but
together, as a couple.
394
00:17:05,650 --> 00:17:08,236
Right now, I'm here to
help you pick out a dress.
395
00:17:08,236 --> 00:17:11,197
Okay. I'm gonna go try
a few of these on.
396
00:17:11,197 --> 00:17:12,406
Hey, wow me.
397
00:17:16,060 --> 00:17:17,061
Well?
398
00:17:18,106 --> 00:17:20,314
Mm-hmm, that's nice.
399
00:17:26,112 --> 00:17:27,447
Nice too.
400
00:17:33,286 --> 00:17:34,745
Also nice.
401
00:17:39,599 --> 00:17:42,562
Oh, yes! Yep, there it is.
402
00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:44,063
Really? You like this? Really?
403
00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:44,981
I... I love it.
404
00:17:44,981 --> 00:17:47,275
It's orange and blue...
Mets colors.
405
00:17:48,759 --> 00:17:50,178
I'll try another one.
406
00:18:02,563 --> 00:18:05,228
Carrie, Doug. Ha, ha.
407
00:18:05,228 --> 00:18:06,419
Jessica?
408
00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:07,211
Hi.
409
00:18:07,211 --> 00:18:07,987
Hi.
410
00:18:08,109 --> 00:18:09,714
This is so funny.
411
00:18:10,110 --> 00:18:12,508
Isn't this funny?
This is so funny.
412
00:18:12,664 --> 00:18:14,176
I know. What are you doing here?
413
00:18:14,176 --> 00:18:17,179
Oh, we're just looking for
dresses for my office party.
414
00:18:17,179 --> 00:18:19,830
These... these
dresses over here...
415
00:18:19,832 --> 00:18:22,880
this, this, this, and this.
416
00:18:22,905 --> 00:18:24,020
Uh-huh.
417
00:18:24,212 --> 00:18:26,964
Well, for what it's worth, I
really love that flowered one.
418
00:18:27,325 --> 00:18:28,299
This one? Yeah?
419
00:18:28,457 --> 00:18:29,907
Yeah, it's fabulous. Wrap it up.
420
00:18:29,907 --> 00:18:30,938
Mmm...
421
00:18:30,938 --> 00:18:32,005
not sure we're agreeing
422
00:18:32,005 --> 00:18:33,095
with you there, Jessica.
423
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:35,932
No? Well, whatever.
424
00:18:36,140 --> 00:18:37,908
Okay, well, they don't
have what I need.
425
00:18:37,908 --> 00:18:39,310
So, gotta go. See ya.
426
00:18:40,811 --> 00:18:42,872
Um, well, I'm all set, honey.
427
00:18:42,872 --> 00:18:45,233
Next stop, Cinnabon.
428
00:18:45,826 --> 00:18:47,151
You... you called her, huh?
429
00:18:47,276 --> 00:18:48,212
Called who, honey?
430
00:18:48,212 --> 00:18:50,004
You called Jessica from
the dressing room.
431
00:18:50,004 --> 00:18:51,186
You know, this was
supposed to be our day,
432
00:18:51,186 --> 00:18:52,680
but you just had to
bring her into it, huh?
433
00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:54,175
Yeah, that's what I did, Doug.
434
00:18:54,175 --> 00:18:55,968
I called her from the
dressing room, right.
435
00:18:56,235 --> 00:18:56,810
Okay, fine.
436
00:18:56,810 --> 00:18:59,388
Then I'll just press
redial on your phone,
437
00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:00,556
and we'll see what happens,
see what the deal is.
438
00:19:00,556 --> 00:19:02,512
We'll see who called who. Give it to me.
No, no, no.
439
00:19:02,512 --> 00:19:03,876
Stop it. No.
440
00:19:04,536 --> 00:19:05,603
Give it to me. Whoa!
441
00:19:05,603 --> 00:19:07,129
Redial!
442
00:19:10,924 --> 00:19:12,301
Okay, it says I have to roam.
443
00:19:12,537 --> 00:19:14,095
Okay, don't roam.
444
00:19:14,453 --> 00:19:15,529
I called her, all right?
445
00:19:15,529 --> 00:19:17,098
Fine. You know what? Then
call her back, you know,
446
00:19:17,098 --> 00:19:18,407
and you guys have a
great day together.
447
00:19:18,407 --> 00:19:21,202
Go shopping for dresses,
go to jazz clubs,
448
00:19:21,202 --> 00:19:22,703
date shoe rental guys.
449
00:19:22,703 --> 00:19:24,163
Whatever. I don't
care, you know?
450
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:25,373
And if you need me, sorry.
451
00:19:25,373 --> 00:19:26,649
I'm taking a bus home
452
00:19:26,857 --> 00:19:28,568
after a brief stop at Cinnabon.
453
00:19:43,581 --> 00:19:46,050
Oh, my God. What have you done?
454
00:19:52,941 --> 00:19:53,968
Still working on that.
455
00:19:56,012 --> 00:19:57,179
Sorry.
456
00:19:57,926 --> 00:19:59,640
So, how many did you have here?
457
00:19:59,765 --> 00:20:02,226
Ahem. Four.
458
00:20:04,998 --> 00:20:06,188
I would have had five,
459
00:20:06,188 --> 00:20:08,357
but I dropped one in
front of Foot Locker.
460
00:20:10,076 --> 00:20:11,986
So... So be honest with me.
461
00:20:12,220 --> 00:20:13,821
Okay. What?
462
00:20:14,343 --> 00:20:16,223
You like Jessica better
than me, don't you?
463
00:20:16,248 --> 00:20:17,114
Oy!
464
00:20:18,765 --> 00:20:19,994
Well, you do.
465
00:20:20,161 --> 00:20:22,163
You light up when she calls.
466
00:20:22,371 --> 00:20:23,639
When she stops by,
467
00:20:23,639 --> 00:20:25,958
you run over to
her like a puppy.
468
00:20:26,250 --> 00:20:27,727
You laugh at her stories,
469
00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:29,645
which aren't half as funny
as my scanner story.
470
00:20:31,140 --> 00:20:32,329
You know, I told it at Cooper's,
471
00:20:32,331 --> 00:20:33,839
and by the way, it got
a very nice response.
472
00:20:33,864 --> 00:20:35,897
Mmm.
473
00:20:36,774 --> 00:20:39,238
Doug, I don't like
her better than you.
474
00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:40,948
That's ridiculous.
475
00:20:41,223 --> 00:20:43,809
Prove it. Kill her.
476
00:20:49,357 --> 00:20:52,710
Look, I... I haven't had
a friend in a while.
477
00:20:52,710 --> 00:20:54,420
I admit I went a little nuts,
478
00:20:54,420 --> 00:20:56,380
but you shouldn't be
threatened by my friends.
479
00:20:56,380 --> 00:20:57,990
I'm not threatened
by your friends.
480
00:20:58,991 --> 00:21:03,120
Well, what about if I get
to keep my friends...
481
00:21:04,530 --> 00:21:07,625
and you don't get any ever?
482
00:21:11,535 --> 00:21:12,880
All right, I threw it out there.
483
00:21:14,256 --> 00:21:15,243
And I love you.
484
00:21:15,470 --> 00:21:16,550
I love you too.
485
00:21:17,533 --> 00:21:19,195
So which, uh, which
dress did you pick?
486
00:21:19,195 --> 00:21:20,638
Did you pick mine
or Jessica's, huh?
487
00:21:20,818 --> 00:21:23,474
Neither. I got...
488
00:21:26,258 --> 00:21:26,977
This one.
489
00:21:27,032 --> 00:21:28,287
Oh...
490
00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:29,647
very nice.
491
00:21:30,398 --> 00:21:32,066
Celtics.
492
00:21:54,338 --> 00:21:55,356
Douglas?
493
00:21:56,398 --> 00:21:57,240
Douglas?
494
00:21:57,242 --> 00:21:58,067
What?
495
00:21:58,960 --> 00:21:59,965
Arthur, what's...
496
00:22:00,079 --> 00:22:01,077
What's the matter?
497
00:22:01,294 --> 00:22:03,255
Nothing. I just
wanted to tell you
498
00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:04,824
I looked it up in
the dictionary,
499
00:22:05,032 --> 00:22:06,016
and you were right.
500
00:22:06,684 --> 00:22:09,118
That scanner story was ironic.
501
00:22:10,555 --> 00:22:14,650
I thought ironic meant
"made entirely of iron."
502
00:22:20,324 --> 00:22:21,324
Good night, Arthur.
503
00:22:21,356 --> 00:22:22,882
Sleep tight.
33778
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
