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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:18,818 --> 00:00:20,309 Well! 2 00:00:20,387 --> 00:00:23,380 You look like you're coming from a wedding. 3 00:00:23,456 --> 00:00:27,223 - Was it a nice one? - Uh, it's a long story. 4 00:00:27,293 --> 00:00:31,492 And I don't mean to be rude, but I really don't feel like talking about it. 5 00:00:33,733 --> 00:00:36,669 It all started when the bride asked to see me. 6 00:00:39,205 --> 00:00:40,730 Wow. 7 00:00:40,807 --> 00:00:43,276 Okay, don't sugarcoat it, Mosby. 8 00:00:43,343 --> 00:00:45,312 Just give it to me straight, okay? 9 00:00:45,378 --> 00:00:47,279 How bad is Barney freaking out right now? 10 00:00:47,347 --> 00:00:48,975 Oh, he's fine. 11 00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:50,813 Oh, I'm serious. He's totally fine. 12 00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:52,375 I have a better tie at home. 13 00:00:52,452 --> 00:00:54,978 It's cornflower blue. It's cornflower blue! 14 00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:56,819 You may rest assured, Barney Stinson... 15 00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:59,985 is absolutely, 100% going through with this wedding. 16 00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:01,653 Okay. 17 00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:03,356 Good news. 18 00:01:03,430 --> 00:01:06,127 Um, just one small issue. 19 00:01:06,199 --> 00:01:10,364 Uh, I can't go through with this wedding. 20 00:01:23,450 --> 00:01:24,884 Okay, calm down. 21 00:01:24,951 --> 00:01:26,943 Everyone feels this way on their wedding day. 22 00:01:27,020 --> 00:01:28,648 - It'll pass. - No. It's more than that. 23 00:01:28,721 --> 00:01:30,849 I am having a serious crisis. 24 00:01:32,725 --> 00:01:35,991 I wonder if it would be hard to climb out that window. 25 00:01:36,062 --> 00:01:37,826 Climbing out's easy. 26 00:01:37,897 --> 00:01:39,627 Climbing in's the real challenge. 27 00:01:39,699 --> 00:01:40,860 Oh, right. 28 00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:43,426 - It's the same window, isn't it? - Yeah. 29 00:01:43,503 --> 00:01:46,701 That story transpired in May of 2012. 30 00:01:46,773 --> 00:01:48,264 As you may recall... 31 00:01:48,341 --> 00:01:50,173 Lily and Marshall were gloriously happy... 32 00:01:50,243 --> 00:01:52,474 having just welcomed your cousin, Marvin. 33 00:01:52,545 --> 00:01:56,812 While Barney and Quinn were gloriously happy, having just gotten engaged. 34 00:01:56,883 --> 00:02:00,149 A nd Robin? Well- 35 00:02:00,220 --> 00:02:01,711 Oh! Got it. 36 00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:04,917 Man, that sumbitch had been in there since breakfast! 37 00:02:04,991 --> 00:02:08,359 Robin-1. Poppy seed-zero. 38 00:02:08,428 --> 00:02:10,021 Heck, this calls for some champagne. 39 00:02:10,096 --> 00:02:11,689 I think there's some in the fridge. 40 00:02:11,764 --> 00:02:13,630 We'll get it. We're totally not gonna have sex in the kitchen... 41 00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:15,660 - if that's what you're thinking. - Aw, we're not? 42 00:02:15,702 --> 00:02:17,193 No, no, we are. I already took off your bra. 43 00:02:17,270 --> 00:02:18,260 Oh! 44 00:02:20,340 --> 00:02:22,673 Hey, are you guys sure you can handle champagne? 45 00:02:22,742 --> 00:02:26,042 You haven't slept in, like, a week. We should just call it a night. 46 00:02:26,112 --> 00:02:28,104 Oh, I see what this is about. 47 00:02:28,181 --> 00:02:30,412 You feel weird because Barney's engaged. 48 00:02:30,483 --> 00:02:32,850 What? No, of course not. 49 00:02:32,919 --> 00:02:34,888 And I will tell you why it's not weird. 50 00:02:34,954 --> 00:02:37,219 - What's not weird? - The fact that Barney's engaged. 51 00:02:37,290 --> 00:02:39,350 - Barney's engaged? - Heck, this calls for some champagne. 52 00:02:39,425 --> 00:02:40,916 I think there's some in the fridge. 53 00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:43,429 Oh, my God. Why don't you both just admit it? 54 00:02:43,496 --> 00:02:45,897 You're deliriously exhausted. 55 00:02:45,965 --> 00:02:48,025 - We're fine. - Really? 56 00:02:48,101 --> 00:02:50,229 We're not gonna be the kind of people... 57 00:02:50,303 --> 00:02:52,465 who have a baby and become total zombies. 58 00:02:52,539 --> 00:02:54,599 Yes, Robin. We're not gonna be the kind of people... 59 00:02:54,674 --> 00:02:57,234 who have a zombie and become total babies. 60 00:02:57,310 --> 00:02:59,211 Okay, well, what I was saying is- 61 00:03:08,054 --> 00:03:09,579 Do you understand? 62 00:03:09,656 --> 00:03:13,388 - Yes! God, yes. - You are preaching to the choir, sister. 63 00:03:13,459 --> 00:03:16,019 - Whew! - Hey. 64 00:03:16,095 --> 00:03:20,465 So, I am thinking about my bridal party. 65 00:03:20,533 --> 00:03:22,729 And, uh, I don't have a lot of girlfriends. 66 00:03:22,802 --> 00:03:24,168 - Mmm. - I have work friends... 67 00:03:24,237 --> 00:03:25,830 but I worked at a strip club, and I know... 68 00:03:25,905 --> 00:03:28,238 they'll just complain about any bridesmaid's dress that has a front. 69 00:03:28,308 --> 00:03:32,177 So, would you guys be my bridesmaids? 70 00:03:32,245 --> 00:03:34,146 - I'd be honored. - Yes. - Of course. 71 00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:35,807 Not you, Marshall. 72 00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:37,009 - But, yay. Thank you. - Oh. 73 00:03:37,083 --> 00:03:38,881 - Great. Oh, thank you. - Oh, my gosh. 74 00:03:38,952 --> 00:03:41,751 It's gonna be so much fun. 75 00:03:41,821 --> 00:03:43,289 Yeah, now it's weird. 76 00:03:43,356 --> 00:03:44,688 What's weird? 77 00:03:44,757 --> 00:03:47,090 Me being Quinn's bridesmaid. 78 00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:50,653 Oh, I wouldn't worry about that, sweetie. She probably won't even ask you. 79 00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:53,199 She just did. And we both said yes. 80 00:03:54,167 --> 00:03:56,033 Heck, this calls for some champagne. 81 00:03:56,102 --> 00:03:57,934 I think there's some in the fridge. 82 00:03:58,004 --> 00:04:00,564 Mean while, I was also gloriously happy... 83 00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:03,041 driving off into the sunset with Victoria... 84 00:04:03,109 --> 00:04:05,601 who left her fiancé, Klaus, at the altar for me. 85 00:04:05,678 --> 00:04:07,340 There was just one problem. 86 00:04:07,413 --> 00:04:09,814 I wonder if Klaus found your note yet. 87 00:04:09,882 --> 00:04:11,510 - My note? - Yeah. 88 00:04:11,584 --> 00:04:14,110 You know, the "I'm leaving you at the altar" note. 89 00:04:14,187 --> 00:04:16,884 Is that a thing? 90 00:04:16,956 --> 00:04:19,585 When you leave someone at the altar, you always leave a note. 91 00:04:19,659 --> 00:04:21,184 It's common courtesy. 92 00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:24,288 I think common courtesy went out the window when I did. 93 00:04:24,364 --> 00:04:28,495 Look, when Stella left me at the altar, at least I got an explanation. 94 00:04:28,568 --> 00:04:31,265 I mean, that note is what keeps you sane. 95 00:04:31,337 --> 00:04:33,806 You read it. You reread it. 96 00:04:33,873 --> 00:04:36,502 You memorize it. You sleep with it. 97 00:04:36,576 --> 00:04:38,545 You sniff it because it still kind of smells like her. 98 00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:42,070 And then finally, you let it go- 99 00:04:42,148 --> 00:04:45,676 tied to a brick right through her perfect little suburban bay window. 100 00:04:46,919 --> 00:04:49,548 - I'll just text him. - You're leaving a note. 101 00:04:51,224 --> 00:04:54,820 So Barney and I have already disagreed on a few of the wedding details. 102 00:04:54,894 --> 00:04:56,658 I wanna go with a buffet... 103 00:04:56,729 --> 00:04:58,994 and he wants to ride down the aisle on a grizzly bear. 104 00:04:59,065 --> 00:05:01,432 He'll be wearing a tux. 105 00:05:02,902 --> 00:05:04,666 Fine. Fine. I'll settle for a panda bear. 106 00:05:04,737 --> 00:05:08,265 But you have to call my tailor. He'll be furious about this switch. 107 00:05:08,341 --> 00:05:11,106 Hey, Barney, uh, we've gotta talk. 108 00:05:11,177 --> 00:05:15,171 Um, Quinn just asked me to be one of her bridesmaids. 109 00:05:15,248 --> 00:05:18,116 Isn't she even a little weirded out that you and I used to date? 110 00:05:18,184 --> 00:05:21,313 Quinn doesn't have a jealous bone in her body. 111 00:05:21,387 --> 00:05:23,219 She rolls with the punches. 112 00:05:23,289 --> 00:05:24,621 - She- - Doesn't have a clue. 113 00:05:24,691 --> 00:05:26,250 No, she does not. 114 00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:27,817 Okay. 115 00:05:27,894 --> 00:05:29,920 Okay. 116 00:05:29,996 --> 00:05:34,263 "Klaus, there is no easy way to tell you why I won't be marrying you today. 117 00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:36,428 Have a great summer. Victoria." 118 00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:39,104 That's it? 119 00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:41,539 No. No, we gotta do this right. 120 00:05:41,607 --> 00:05:43,098 Well, you can't write it. 121 00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:46,476 One look, it's gonna be obvious it's a guy's handwri- 122 00:05:46,546 --> 00:05:48,310 Oh, no. We're good. 123 00:05:48,381 --> 00:05:51,112 Okay, fine. You write. I'll advise. 124 00:05:52,585 --> 00:05:54,076 Klaus- 125 00:05:54,153 --> 00:05:55,382 Just "Klaus"? 126 00:05:55,455 --> 00:05:57,135 Come on, give it some heart. The poor guy. 127 00:05:58,391 --> 00:06:00,326 Dear, sweet Klaus- 128 00:06:00,393 --> 00:06:01,884 "Sweet"? Are you still in love with this jerk? 129 00:06:01,961 --> 00:06:03,657 I'm doing this on my own. 130 00:06:06,766 --> 00:06:08,758 I'm sorry. I just- 131 00:06:08,835 --> 00:06:11,270 You know, I feel bad for the guy. 132 00:06:11,337 --> 00:06:14,239 I'm stealing the greatest girl in the world away from him. 133 00:06:15,074 --> 00:06:17,270 You're not stealing me. 134 00:06:17,343 --> 00:06:18,834 I'm choosing you. 135 00:06:23,716 --> 00:06:27,050 Because you are loving... 136 00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:29,385 and you are caring... 137 00:06:29,455 --> 00:06:32,448 and you are going to go deliver this note. 138 00:06:32,525 --> 00:06:34,153 Wait. You want me to go in there? 139 00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:38,665 It took everything I had to climb out that church window today, and... 140 00:06:39,999 --> 00:06:42,468 if I have to go back in there... 141 00:06:42,535 --> 00:06:44,367 I'm not sure I can do it again. 142 00:06:56,182 --> 00:06:57,775 It has to smell like you. 143 00:07:02,755 --> 00:07:06,385 So Quinn has no idea that we used to date? 144 00:07:06,459 --> 00:07:07,950 None whatsoever. 145 00:07:08,027 --> 00:07:10,121 Okay, Barney, think this through. 146 00:07:10,196 --> 00:07:12,859 Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with Quinn- 147 00:07:12,932 --> 00:07:14,992 - Oh, God, you have a point. - Haven't gotten to it yet. 148 00:07:16,636 --> 00:07:18,571 Of course. Continue. 149 00:07:18,638 --> 00:07:21,118 Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with Quinn... 150 00:07:21,140 --> 00:07:22,301 and keep this secret? 151 00:07:22,375 --> 00:07:24,037 I mean, she's gonna find out. 152 00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:26,807 Quinn's never gonna find out, because I've destroyed every piece of evidence... 153 00:07:26,879 --> 00:07:28,905 that you and I were ever a couple. 154 00:07:28,981 --> 00:07:30,449 That's ridiculous. 155 00:07:30,516 --> 00:07:32,246 You couldn't have gotten rid of all of it. 156 00:07:38,090 --> 00:07:40,685 You replaced me with a tiger. 157 00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:43,525 I couldn't completely get you out of that one. Had to get creative. 158 00:07:43,596 --> 00:07:45,087 Well, I'm glad... 159 00:07:45,164 --> 00:07:48,965 that deleting our entire time together was so easy for you... 160 00:07:49,035 --> 00:07:52,096 but I guarantee you, Quinn is gonna find out eventually. 161 00:07:52,171 --> 00:07:55,699 No, she won't. I just need your help. Yours too. 162 00:07:55,775 --> 00:07:58,745 I know you guys are out of it, but you have to promise not to tell Quinn, okay? 163 00:07:58,811 --> 00:08:00,211 Tell Quinn what? 164 00:08:00,279 --> 00:08:02,510 - Exactly. - No, she's really asking. 165 00:08:02,582 --> 00:08:03,880 Tell Quinn what? 166 00:08:09,455 --> 00:08:12,550 Ooh. 167 00:08:22,602 --> 00:08:24,696 - Can't climb the drainpipe. - What? 168 00:08:24,770 --> 00:08:27,262 When I was in fourth grade, I couldn't climb the rope in gym class... 169 00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:29,900 and all the other kids made fun of me even though it wasn't my fault. 170 00:08:29,976 --> 00:08:31,808 I had to go after Efthimios Papajapoulos. 171 00:08:31,878 --> 00:08:33,870 The rope was slick with lamb grease! 172 00:08:33,946 --> 00:08:38,407 Okay, so just walk in the front door and act like you belong. 173 00:08:38,484 --> 00:08:40,476 Here. Here's the key to the dressing room. 174 00:08:48,628 --> 00:08:50,119 - Can I help you? - Hi. 175 00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:52,324 I'm the church handyman. 176 00:08:52,398 --> 00:08:55,994 I'm here to fix the... broken thing. It's busted. 177 00:08:56,068 --> 00:08:58,264 The bride is taking a schnooze. 178 00:08:58,337 --> 00:09:01,330 She asked me to stand watch so that no one disturbs her. 179 00:09:01,407 --> 00:09:04,070 - I'll be quick. - You will be dead. 180 00:09:04,143 --> 00:09:05,975 I used to wrestle in Leipzig. 181 00:09:06,045 --> 00:09:07,775 You know what? A note's redundant. 182 00:09:07,847 --> 00:09:09,509 You're not there. He gets it. 183 00:09:09,582 --> 00:09:13,110 No, you were right. I have to leave a note. It's common courtesy. 184 00:09:13,185 --> 00:09:17,020 Well, it's not gonna be possible with Andrea the Giant standing guard up there. 185 00:09:17,089 --> 00:09:19,081 Oh, right. Klaus's sister. 186 00:09:19,158 --> 00:09:20,956 It's too bad Barney's not here. 187 00:09:21,027 --> 00:09:23,155 Man, he lives for bridesmaids. 188 00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:24,993 Right, but he's not. 189 00:09:25,064 --> 00:09:26,965 And it's not like he could seduce Uta over the phone. 190 00:09:28,834 --> 00:09:30,928 Challenge accepted! 191 00:09:31,003 --> 00:09:33,336 - Honey, it's not cheating if it's on the phone, right? - Say what now? 192 00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:35,466 Quinn's on board! Text me her number. 193 00:09:35,541 --> 00:09:39,239 You filthy, disgusting man! 194 00:09:39,312 --> 00:09:43,044 But, yes, I will do that to myself at your instruction. 195 00:09:43,115 --> 00:09:45,016 Let me find a broom closet. 196 00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:49,154 Oh, ja. Gut. 197 00:10:01,968 --> 00:10:03,732 I did it. I did it! 198 00:10:03,803 --> 00:10:06,500 You're amazing. Let's get out of here. 199 00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:13,074 I left the car keys in the dressing room. 200 00:10:14,246 --> 00:10:16,715 I'm pretty sure the door locked behind me. 201 00:10:19,051 --> 00:10:20,542 Oh, God. 202 00:10:23,089 --> 00:10:27,151 I found it kind of insulting that Barney doesn't think we can keep this secret. 203 00:10:27,226 --> 00:10:29,923 I mean, yeah, Marvin's keeping us up all night... 204 00:10:29,996 --> 00:10:33,057 but he's still the prettiest little girl in the city. 205 00:10:35,001 --> 00:10:36,731 Baby, did you just hear yourself? 206 00:10:36,802 --> 00:10:40,898 You said, "Prettiest little girl in the city." 207 00:10:40,973 --> 00:10:44,239 - I think you meant "country." - Yeah. 208 00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:45,801 Hey, what does Barney think? 209 00:10:45,878 --> 00:10:47,779 We're just gonna blurt out that he used to date- 210 00:10:47,847 --> 00:10:49,247 Shh! 211 00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:52,911 Oh! That was close. 212 00:10:52,985 --> 00:10:55,853 Quinn could've heard us through the- 213 00:10:55,921 --> 00:10:57,549 Good catch. 214 00:10:57,623 --> 00:11:01,116 I almost just blurted out that Barney used to date Robin. 215 00:11:01,193 --> 00:11:03,355 Barney used to date Robin? 216 00:11:03,429 --> 00:11:05,921 Oh. 217 00:11:05,998 --> 00:11:07,398 When did you get in here? 218 00:11:07,466 --> 00:11:09,264 Like, 10 minutes ago when you said... 219 00:11:09,335 --> 00:11:12,100 "Hey, Quinn, let's all go hang out in Marvin's room." 220 00:11:12,171 --> 00:11:15,767 Auf Wiedersehen, Fräulein. 221 00:11:15,841 --> 00:11:18,504 You know, I hate to perpetuate the stereotype... 222 00:11:18,577 --> 00:11:20,705 but German female wrestlers from Saxony... 223 00:11:20,780 --> 00:11:22,874 are just begging for it. 224 00:11:22,948 --> 00:11:24,109 You dated Robin? 225 00:11:24,183 --> 00:11:26,550 Verdammt! 226 00:11:30,856 --> 00:11:32,552 I'm sorry I lied to you. 227 00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:34,305 I'll tell you everything, the whole story. 228 00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:37,125 Fine. You have one minute before I walk out that door. 229 00:11:37,196 --> 00:11:39,290 Um, it's, uh, kind of a long story, Quinn. 230 00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:41,391 Gonna take a little bit longer than a minute. 231 00:11:41,467 --> 00:11:43,129 Fifty-two seconds. 232 00:11:43,202 --> 00:11:45,034 Seven years ago, when Marshall and Lily got engaged... 233 00:11:45,104 --> 00:11:46,595 Ted saw Robin across a crowded room, and I said... 234 00:11:46,672 --> 00:11:48,436 "Oh, yeah, you just know she likes it dirty." 235 00:11:48,507 --> 00:11:50,601 But Ted really liked her, so we played "Have you met Ted?" 236 00:11:50,676 --> 00:11:51,735 They went to dinner. He walked her home. 237 00:11:51,811 --> 00:11:52,938 Should have kissed her, didn't. Lame. 238 00:11:53,012 --> 00:11:54,412 So he stole a Smurf penis. Went to her place. 239 00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:56,312 Should've kissed her, didn't. Lame. He threw three parties. 240 00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:58,180 They kissed on the roof, but decided to be friends. Lame. 241 00:11:58,250 --> 00:11:59,650 Then Ted wanted to take Robin to a wedding. 242 00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:01,119 She couldn't go. He went alone and met Victoria. 243 00:12:01,187 --> 00:12:02,678 Didn't kiss her either. Lame. Not a great closer, Ted. 244 00:12:02,755 --> 00:12:04,018 But he finally kissed her. 245 00:12:04,090 --> 00:12:05,285 They started dating. She went to Germany. 246 00:12:05,357 --> 00:12:06,848 Ted kissed Robin. Lost Victoria. Ted did a rain dance. 247 00:12:06,926 --> 00:12:08,656 Got Robin. Ted and Robin broke up. 248 00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:10,728 Robin moved to Brazil. Came back with a Latin stud. 249 00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:11,925 Ted got jealous. Got a tramp stamp. 250 00:12:11,997 --> 00:12:14,398 Not relevant to the story. I just like mentioning that. 251 00:12:14,467 --> 00:12:15,992 I hooked up with Robin. Ted and I stopped being friends. 252 00:12:16,068 --> 00:12:17,297 Ted got hit by a bus. We made up. 253 00:12:17,369 --> 00:12:18,928 Robin and I started dating. 254 00:12:19,004 --> 00:12:20,495 I got fat. Her hair fell out. 255 00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,293 We broke up. Robin dated Don. I dated Nora. 256 00:12:22,308 --> 00:12:23,571 Cheated on her with Robin. I dumped Nora. 257 00:12:23,642 --> 00:12:24,871 Robin dated Kevin, but not for long. 258 00:12:24,944 --> 00:12:26,310 Then I met you. You took my grandpa's watch. 259 00:12:26,378 --> 00:12:28,574 I fell in love with you anyway. You let me fart in front of you. 260 00:12:28,647 --> 00:12:30,047 I asked you to marry me. You said yes. 261 00:12:30,116 --> 00:12:31,675 We came over here to meet little Marvin. And that's everything! 262 00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:34,050 Also, I went on The Price Is Right and won a dune buggy. 263 00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:37,651 Good-bye, Barney. 264 00:12:37,723 --> 00:12:39,783 Good-I ju- 265 00:12:41,127 --> 00:12:42,959 She lets you fart in front of her? 266 00:12:44,396 --> 00:12:47,833 Barney, you go get that girl. 267 00:13:02,581 --> 00:13:04,573 Oh, God! 268 00:13:04,650 --> 00:13:06,380 You cannot tell anyone that you saw me. 269 00:13:06,452 --> 00:13:08,512 - I cannot get married today! - Klaus? 270 00:13:08,587 --> 00:13:10,078 Oh, I'm a mess. 271 00:13:10,156 --> 00:13:12,196 I threw up in the cloakroom. I blamed a small child. 272 00:13:12,258 --> 00:13:14,853 I cannot get married. I left a note. 273 00:13:14,927 --> 00:13:16,361 Good for you. Not everyone thinks of that. 274 00:13:16,428 --> 00:13:18,329 Who doesn't leave a note? It's common courtesy. 275 00:13:18,397 --> 00:13:20,093 Thank you! 276 00:13:20,166 --> 00:13:23,193 - Do you have the time? - Um, yeah. It's 20 after 7:00. 277 00:13:23,269 --> 00:13:26,205 Ah, sehr gut. I can still make the 8:05 back to the city. 278 00:13:26,272 --> 00:13:27,968 Auf Wiedersehen. 279 00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:29,702 And suddenly it hit me 280 00:13:29,775 --> 00:13:32,711 a way to absolve Victoria of any blame. 281 00:13:32,778 --> 00:13:36,271 All I had to do was climb that drainpipe. 282 00:14:00,973 --> 00:14:04,637 What? No, Klaus, no. 283 00:14:15,955 --> 00:14:18,618 Mach schnell, sleepyhead. It's time to- 284 00:14:19,558 --> 00:14:21,049 I know about you and Barney. 285 00:14:21,126 --> 00:14:23,152 Who told her? 286 00:14:23,229 --> 00:14:25,061 You guys did. 287 00:14:25,130 --> 00:14:26,655 God. Go to sleep. 288 00:14:26,732 --> 00:14:30,669 Okay, no one is going anywhere until we find out who told you. 289 00:14:32,137 --> 00:14:34,834 Look, there is nothing going on between me and Robin. 290 00:14:34,907 --> 00:14:36,808 And why should I believe that? 291 00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:38,742 Well, for starters, I have a boyfriend. 292 00:14:38,811 --> 00:14:40,746 No, Robin, you don't have to do this. 293 00:14:40,813 --> 00:14:42,611 There have been enough lies. 294 00:14:42,681 --> 00:14:44,343 I'm not lying. 295 00:14:44,416 --> 00:14:46,009 His name is Nick. 296 00:14:46,085 --> 00:14:47,986 I didn't want to jinx it by telling everyone. 297 00:14:48,053 --> 00:14:51,148 So I just told Marshall and Lily. You tell 'em, guys. 298 00:14:53,325 --> 00:14:56,295 We were just talking about this earlier today. 299 00:14:56,362 --> 00:14:58,490 Okay, well, what I was saying is- 300 00:15:01,667 --> 00:15:04,865 I have no desire to get Barney back because I'm with Nick now... 301 00:15:04,937 --> 00:15:08,032 and, well, I don't want to be crude... 302 00:15:08,107 --> 00:15:11,168 but I want to spend all day licking his abs. 303 00:15:11,243 --> 00:15:12,802 Do you understand? 304 00:15:12,878 --> 00:15:14,540 - Mm-hmm. - Yes! God, yes. 305 00:15:14,613 --> 00:15:18,050 You are preaching to the choir, sister. 306 00:15:18,117 --> 00:15:19,949 I stand by it. 307 00:15:20,019 --> 00:15:22,215 Guys, it's okay. 308 00:15:22,288 --> 00:15:24,621 You're new parents. You just need to get some sleep. 309 00:15:24,690 --> 00:15:26,886 We're fine. 310 00:15:28,294 --> 00:15:30,354 This is hard, guys! 311 00:15:30,429 --> 00:15:32,694 - It's really hard! - Aw, honey. 312 00:15:36,802 --> 00:15:39,203 Oh, God! Stay with me. Stay with me. 313 00:15:41,273 --> 00:15:42,901 Go get your baby. 314 00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:48,043 Look, it doesn't matter that you have a boyfriend. 315 00:15:48,113 --> 00:15:51,413 I'm always gonna be wondering if you secretly still have feelings for Barney. 316 00:15:51,483 --> 00:15:53,577 I don't care who this guy is. 317 00:15:56,055 --> 00:15:57,887 Okay, we're good. 318 00:15:59,491 --> 00:16:02,791 Okay, well, I'm glad I left work early for this. 319 00:16:02,861 --> 00:16:06,662 Robin, maybe later we can discuss the meaning of the word "emergency"... 320 00:16:06,732 --> 00:16:08,997 and the phrase "trapped under a car." 321 00:16:09,068 --> 00:16:10,366 - Okay. - Okay. 322 00:16:15,507 --> 00:16:17,703 You know he has chicken legs. 323 00:16:17,776 --> 00:16:20,405 Little tiny chicken legs. 324 00:16:20,479 --> 00:16:22,141 You guys saw those, right? 325 00:16:22,214 --> 00:16:24,012 It's not cheating if I lie down on the bar... 326 00:16:24,083 --> 00:16:26,083 and let Nick do a shot from my belly button, right? 327 00:16:26,118 --> 00:16:27,882 - Say what now? - Barney's on board! 328 00:16:27,953 --> 00:16:29,854 Nick, hold on! 329 00:16:33,926 --> 00:16:35,224 Thanks for your help today. 330 00:16:35,294 --> 00:16:36,922 Yeah, sure. 331 00:16:38,197 --> 00:16:40,098 Although, it, uh, kind of sucked... 332 00:16:40,165 --> 00:16:45,001 seeing how easy it was for you to throw away everything from our relationship. 333 00:16:45,070 --> 00:16:48,063 I-I could never do that. 334 00:16:55,347 --> 00:16:57,441 622 West 14th Street. 335 00:17:02,554 --> 00:17:06,321 A nd so, Victoria and I were back where we started. 336 00:17:06,392 --> 00:17:09,385 But there was something I couldn't get off my mind. 337 00:17:13,198 --> 00:17:14,689 I'll be right back. 338 00:17:18,437 --> 00:17:20,269 Uh, excuse me. 339 00:17:20,906 --> 00:17:22,738 Oh, hey. it's you. 340 00:17:22,808 --> 00:17:26,301 Ja, okay. I'm not sure what kind of vibe I was giving off before... 341 00:17:26,378 --> 00:17:28,142 but I am not interested in your schnitzel, okay? 342 00:17:28,213 --> 00:17:30,512 No, no, no, no, no. God, no. 343 00:17:30,582 --> 00:17:33,211 I just have one quick question. 344 00:17:33,285 --> 00:17:35,618 Victoria seems like a great girl. 345 00:17:35,687 --> 00:17:37,781 Why wouldn't you want to marry her? 346 00:17:37,856 --> 00:17:39,916 Ach, okay. Victoria ist wunderbar. 347 00:17:39,992 --> 00:17:42,086 Oh, I'm sorry. "Wunderbar" is the German word for "wonderful." 348 00:17:42,161 --> 00:17:44,323 - Yeah, I know. - Oh, you speak German? 349 00:17:47,666 --> 00:17:49,157 No. No, no, no. 350 00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:51,635 No, no, no. Just-Just the one word. 351 00:17:51,703 --> 00:17:53,137 Oh. Oh. 352 00:17:53,205 --> 00:17:54,764 Ah, okay. 353 00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:56,331 Victoria. 354 00:17:56,408 --> 00:17:58,036 There is a word in German. 355 00:17:58,110 --> 00:17:59,976 I ebenslangerschicksalsschatz. 356 00:18:00,045 --> 00:18:01,741 And the closest translation would be... 357 00:18:01,814 --> 00:18:04,716 "lifelong treasure of destiny." 358 00:18:05,717 --> 00:18:07,652 And Victoria ist wunderbar... 359 00:18:07,719 --> 00:18:10,712 but she is not my I ebenslangerschicksalsschatz. 360 00:18:10,789 --> 00:18:13,020 She is my Beinaheleidenschaftsgegenstand. 361 00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:14,958 You know? 362 00:18:15,027 --> 00:18:17,189 You know wunderbar but you don't know Beinaheleidenschaftsgegenstand? 363 00:18:17,262 --> 00:18:19,857 That is something we learn in kindergarten. 364 00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:22,026 I'm sorry. "Kindergarten" is the German word for- 365 00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:23,569 No, no, I know that one. 366 00:18:23,635 --> 00:18:26,070 Oh, okay. But you don't know Beinaheleidenschaftsgegenstand. 367 00:18:26,138 --> 00:18:27,834 You are maddeningly inconsistent. 368 00:18:29,641 --> 00:18:34,579 It means "the thing that is almost the thing that you want... 369 00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:37,075 but is not quite." 370 00:18:38,317 --> 00:18:40,479 Das ist Victoria to me. 371 00:18:40,552 --> 00:18:43,351 How do you know she's not I ebenslangerschicksalsschatz? 372 00:18:43,422 --> 00:18:46,119 I mean, maybe as the years go by, she'll get... 373 00:18:46,191 --> 00:18:48,524 I ebenslangerschicksalsschatz-ier. 374 00:18:48,594 --> 00:18:50,358 Oh, nein. 375 00:18:50,429 --> 00:18:54,196 I ebenslangerschicksalsschatz is not something that develops over time. 376 00:18:54,266 --> 00:18:57,964 It is something that happens instantaneously. 377 00:18:59,671 --> 00:19:04,006 It courses through you like the water of a river after a storm... 378 00:19:05,277 --> 00:19:08,372 filling you and emptying you all at once. 379 00:19:17,756 --> 00:19:19,952 You feel it throughout your body... 380 00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:25,097 - in your hands- - ♪ Coming up only ♪ 381 00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:29,602 - In your heart- - ♪ To show you wrong ♪ 382 00:19:29,668 --> 00:19:31,534 In your stomach- 383 00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:38,535 - ♪ And to know you is hard♪ - in your skin. 384 00:19:38,610 --> 00:19:40,476 Of course, you feel it in your Schlauchmachendejungen. 385 00:19:40,546 --> 00:19:43,448 Pardon my French. 386 00:19:43,515 --> 00:19:45,995 - Have you ever felt this way about someone? - ♪ To know you ♪ 387 00:19:46,218 --> 00:19:48,653 - ♪ All wrong♪ - Yeah, I think so. 388 00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:51,212 If you have to think about it, you have not felt it. 389 00:19:51,290 --> 00:19:54,658 And you're absolutely sure you'll find that someday? 390 00:19:54,726 --> 00:19:57,594 Of course. Everyone does eventually. 391 00:19:58,664 --> 00:20:01,896 You just never know when or where. 392 00:20:01,967 --> 00:20:03,595 And he was right. 393 00:20:03,669 --> 00:20:08,300 Unfortunately, the "when " of it was still a little ways down the road. 394 00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:12,576 But the "where " of it? 395 00:20:12,644 --> 00:20:16,479 ♪ Really to o late to call ♪ 396 00:20:16,548 --> 00:20:20,713 ♪ So we wait for ♪ 397 00:20:23,021 --> 00:20:25,081 ♪ Morning to wake you ♪ 398 00:20:25,157 --> 00:20:27,820 - ♪ That's all we got♪ - Yeah, there's your change. 399 00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:29,862 Oh-and don't forget your guitar. 400 00:20:32,798 --> 00:20:35,097 ♪ To know me ♪ 401 00:20:35,167 --> 00:20:39,730 ♪ As hardly golden ♪ 402 00:20:42,374 --> 00:20:46,311 ♪ Is to know me all wrong ♪ 403 00:20:46,378 --> 00:20:48,040 ♪ They were ♪ ♪ 30932

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