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1
00:00:08,331 --> 00:00:10,498
Psst. In here!
2
00:00:14,938 --> 00:00:17,873
I'm safe.
Not quite.
3
00:00:17,874 --> 00:00:20,709
The amulet, please,
Mr. Stinson.
4
00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:26,114
Why?
5
00:00:27,250 --> 00:00:29,751
Help! Help!
The kid.
6
00:00:34,958 --> 00:00:37,192
Help!
Hang on, kid.
7
00:00:50,539 --> 00:00:52,374
Grab my tie.
8
00:00:52,375 --> 00:00:54,609
But you're not supposed
to take the tie off.
9
00:00:54,610 --> 00:00:57,112
You lost a bet with your
friends Lily and Marshall
10
00:00:57,113 --> 00:00:59,714
which requires you to wear
the tie for a full year.
11
00:00:59,715 --> 00:01:03,318
If it means saving your life,
I think they'll understand!
12
00:01:03,319 --> 00:01:04,887
They sound like nice people!
13
00:01:04,888 --> 00:01:05,921
Yeah, they are.
14
00:01:05,922 --> 00:01:07,923
Grab that...
15
00:01:10,126 --> 00:01:11,659
Come on.
16
00:01:11,660 --> 00:01:13,428
That's it.
17
00:01:17,843 --> 00:01:19,167
Thanks, Mister.
18
00:01:19,168 --> 00:01:20,682
How can I repay you?
19
00:01:20,802 --> 00:01:23,505
You can stay in school,
that's how.
20
00:01:25,474 --> 00:01:27,776
No!
21
00:01:27,777 --> 00:01:28,810
True story.
22
00:01:28,811 --> 00:01:30,612
But golly, I'm just gonna miss
23
00:01:30,613 --> 00:01:33,315
the heck out of
that ducky tie. I really am.
24
00:01:34,384 --> 00:01:36,351
Look what I just found
in the trash.
25
00:01:36,352 --> 00:01:38,553
No!
26
00:01:58,423 --> 00:02:01,257
Kids, you haven't truly
lived until somewhere,
27
00:02:01,377 --> 00:02:03,787
somebody puts a sign up because
of something you did.
28
00:02:03,907 --> 00:02:04,824
For instance...
29
00:02:04,825 --> 00:02:06,869
Have you guys seen that sign
out front that says
30
00:02:06,989 --> 00:02:08,717
"Absolutely No
Boogie-Boarding"?
31
00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:10,370
What's that all about?
32
00:02:10,371 --> 00:02:12,873
Oh, that's a great story.
You got time for it?
33
00:02:12,874 --> 00:02:16,810
Well, I'm supposed to go to
my mom's birthday party, so...
34
00:02:16,811 --> 00:02:19,012
please make it as
long as you can.
35
00:02:19,013 --> 00:02:21,081
Well, it happened
a few months ago.
36
00:02:21,082 --> 00:02:22,883
The night of the hurricane...
37
00:02:22,884 --> 00:02:25,252
Kids, it was August 26, 2011,
38
00:02:25,253 --> 00:02:28,922
and Hurricane Irene was
barreling towards New York.
39
00:02:28,923 --> 00:02:30,790
Guys, guys, guys.
40
00:02:30,791 --> 00:02:32,492
This storm is serious.
41
00:02:32,493 --> 00:02:34,761
Luckily, you are friends
with a former Boy Scout.
42
00:02:34,762 --> 00:02:36,196
And a Boy Scout is always what?
43
00:02:36,197 --> 00:02:37,464
Unpopular?
Beaten up?
44
00:02:37,465 --> 00:02:38,765
Going to the movies
with his mom?
45
00:02:38,766 --> 00:02:40,633
A Boy Scout is always prepared.
46
00:02:40,634 --> 00:02:42,469
Prepared to spend lunch
in his locker?
47
00:02:42,470 --> 00:02:43,703
Prepared to die a virgin?
48
00:02:43,704 --> 00:02:45,105
Prepared to paint
his sister's nails?
49
00:02:45,106 --> 00:02:47,007
Prepared for emergencies!
50
00:02:47,008 --> 00:02:48,441
That's why a week ago,
51
00:02:48,442 --> 00:02:50,244
when Irene was just
a tropical depression-
52
00:02:50,245 --> 00:02:52,112
You're a tropical depression.
53
00:02:52,113 --> 00:02:53,947
This guy got us...
54
00:02:53,948 --> 00:02:55,749
a disaster backpack,
55
00:02:55,750 --> 00:02:58,551
and a rental car that seats
five, parked right outside.
56
00:02:58,552 --> 00:03:00,320
We're gonna drive up
to my place in Westchester
57
00:03:00,321 --> 00:03:01,488
where we'll all be safe.
58
00:03:01,489 --> 00:03:03,290
Boy Scouted!
You're welcome.
59
00:03:03,291 --> 00:03:04,624
Ted's right, we should go.
60
00:03:04,625 --> 00:03:06,126
Hey, on the way out of the city,
61
00:03:06,127 --> 00:03:08,628
do you mind if we stop at my
place so I can get something?
62
00:03:10,598 --> 00:03:12,499
Okay, what did you have to get?
63
00:03:12,500 --> 00:03:15,535
My drink on.
We're not going anywhere.
64
00:03:15,536 --> 00:03:17,004
What? No!
65
00:03:17,005 --> 00:03:19,172
We don't have time for this!
We gotta get going!
66
00:03:19,173 --> 00:03:21,141
Ted, I'm older than you.
Yeah.
67
00:03:21,142 --> 00:03:22,409
And taller.
Just older.
68
00:03:22,410 --> 00:03:24,278
And when you reach my age,
and height,
69
00:03:24,279 --> 00:03:26,613
you'll see that things like this
hurricane are no big deal.
70
00:03:26,614 --> 00:03:28,215
They're going to close
the bridges.
71
00:03:28,216 --> 00:03:30,417
You guys, we got
to get out of here.
72
00:03:30,418 --> 00:03:32,452
I'm afraid I'm with
blondie on this one.
73
00:03:32,453 --> 00:03:34,388
This storm is nothing.
I'm from Vancouver.
74
00:03:34,389 --> 00:03:36,256
You know what we call
this in the Couv?
75
00:03:36,257 --> 00:03:37,791
Barbecue weather.
76
00:03:37,792 --> 00:03:39,960
Yeah, I'm with these guys.
77
00:03:39,961 --> 00:03:42,396
Drinking beer in front
of Barney's giant TV
78
00:03:42,397 --> 00:03:43,863
beats sitting in the car
79
00:03:43,864 --> 00:03:45,165
listening to
Memoires of a Geisha.
80
00:03:45,166 --> 00:03:47,600
Come on, we're at the best part.
81
00:03:47,601 --> 00:03:50,971
Oh, it's my mom,
checking to see if I'm okay.
82
00:03:50,972 --> 00:03:52,372
Hey, Mom.
83
00:03:52,373 --> 00:03:54,808
Ooh, Mommy!
It's drizzling out!
84
00:03:54,809 --> 00:03:56,609
I'm so scared!
85
00:03:56,610 --> 00:03:57,844
Bikini weather.
86
00:03:57,845 --> 00:03:59,813
Marshall, you're with me, right?
87
00:03:59,814 --> 00:04:02,482
Sorry, old friend.
88
00:04:02,483 --> 00:04:05,385
But I can't afford
to tempt fate.
89
00:04:06,454 --> 00:04:08,721
Oh right, I was being
really weird.
90
00:04:08,722 --> 00:04:10,157
I should explain.
91
00:04:10,158 --> 00:04:11,724
Last summer I quit my job.
92
00:04:11,725 --> 00:04:13,526
And then, a week before
the hurricane...
93
00:04:13,527 --> 00:04:17,965
Huh, my medical
insurance just expired.
94
00:04:17,966 --> 00:04:21,634
That gives me two uninsured weeks
before I'm added to your plan.
95
00:04:21,635 --> 00:04:23,236
It's no biggie.
96
00:04:23,237 --> 00:04:25,572
Ow!
Paper cut.
97
00:04:26,507 --> 00:04:31,578
Death is all around us.
98
00:04:31,579 --> 00:04:33,613
So for the next two weeks
99
00:04:33,614 --> 00:04:36,749
he was basically a really
clingy Edgar Allan Poe.
100
00:04:36,750 --> 00:04:39,853
The Grim Reaper beckons.
101
00:04:39,854 --> 00:04:44,591
I feel his icy grip
around my throat,
102
00:04:44,592 --> 00:04:47,094
the breath of his hounds
at my heels,
103
00:04:47,095 --> 00:04:53,700
the unrelenting rat-tat-tat of
his scythe on my chamber door.
104
00:04:53,701 --> 00:04:56,836
And you, with your
blithe request,
105
00:04:56,837 --> 00:04:59,206
you only hasten
his inevitable triumph.
106
00:04:59,207 --> 00:05:01,375
Is that what you desire?
107
00:05:01,376 --> 00:05:03,543
Is that what you desire, Lily?
108
00:05:03,544 --> 00:05:06,346
I just wanted you
to get us some bagels.
109
00:05:06,347 --> 00:05:08,315
Bagels?!
110
00:05:08,316 --> 00:05:11,684
Do you have any idea
111
00:05:11,685 --> 00:05:15,088
what could happen to me
whilst getting bagels?!
112
00:05:21,362 --> 00:05:24,697
What the...?!
No, not like this!
113
00:05:24,698 --> 00:05:26,566
Fine. I'll go get the bagels.
114
00:05:26,567 --> 00:05:27,800
No!
115
00:05:27,801 --> 00:05:29,202
Why not?
116
00:05:29,203 --> 00:05:31,238
And remember, not too
much cream cheese.
117
00:05:31,239 --> 00:05:33,206
Half a shmear, max.
118
00:05:33,207 --> 00:05:36,043
Thanks, baby.
119
00:05:37,478 --> 00:05:40,747
No! No! Not like this!
120
00:05:40,748 --> 00:05:43,216
Okay, now you're just
being ridiculous.
121
00:05:43,217 --> 00:05:45,085
Well, life is ridiculous, Lily!
122
00:05:45,086 --> 00:05:47,620
People get run over by buses
123
00:05:47,621 --> 00:05:50,657
and hit in the nuts by
skateboards, bitten by babies.
124
00:05:50,658 --> 00:05:52,959
Nobody wakes up and says,
"Today I'm gonna star
125
00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:54,261
in a YouTube video."
126
00:05:54,262 --> 00:05:56,396
You've said that at
least a dozen times.
127
00:05:56,397 --> 00:05:59,332
Lily, for the next two weeks
128
00:05:59,333 --> 00:06:02,735
you must be by my side
protecting me.
129
00:06:02,736 --> 00:06:04,771
Why, what's gonna happen?
130
00:06:04,772 --> 00:06:07,941
Answer: a hurricane.
131
00:06:07,942 --> 00:06:09,976
Just let me take off the tie!
Please!
132
00:06:09,977 --> 00:06:11,978
I have to wear this at work.
133
00:06:11,979 --> 00:06:14,314
Do you have any idea
what that's like?
134
00:06:14,315 --> 00:06:18,285
If the SEC pursues charges,
it's going to be all our asses.
135
00:06:18,286 --> 00:06:22,589
Nobody takes this
more seriously than I do.
136
00:06:22,590 --> 00:06:25,492
Please, can I take it off?
137
00:06:25,493 --> 00:06:30,363
You... may... knot.
138
00:06:30,364 --> 00:06:32,099
With a "K."
139
00:06:32,100 --> 00:06:33,833
A little tie pun.
140
00:06:33,834 --> 00:06:35,602
This is far from over.
141
00:06:35,603 --> 00:06:39,406
You have a price, Eriksen,
and I will find it.
142
00:06:39,407 --> 00:06:44,711
When the end of day is nigh,
I'll have taken off this tie.
143
00:06:44,712 --> 00:06:48,548
I'm going to like the way
I look, I guarantee it.
144
00:06:50,184 --> 00:06:51,618
So boogie-boarding...
145
00:06:51,619 --> 00:06:53,886
Boogie-boarding. So I was trying
to get these guys to leave.
146
00:06:53,887 --> 00:06:55,888
Hey, Nerdlinger,
147
00:06:55,889 --> 00:06:57,524
what's with the safety boner?
148
00:06:57,525 --> 00:06:58,958
I mean, come on.
149
00:06:58,959 --> 00:07:02,129
The disaster kit, the car,
the ladies' rain boots-
150
00:07:02,130 --> 00:07:03,896
Uh, they're men's.
151
00:07:03,897 --> 00:07:06,666
Pink is just easier to
spot from the rescue chopper.
152
00:07:06,667 --> 00:07:09,035
Look, forgive me for caring
about you guys,
153
00:07:09,036 --> 00:07:10,703
but you're my best friends
in the world
154
00:07:10,704 --> 00:07:12,572
and I just want to make sure
you're okay.
155
00:07:12,573 --> 00:07:17,844
Ah. Ted, you are
a giant whining bummer.
156
00:07:17,845 --> 00:07:18,811
Barney...
157
00:07:18,812 --> 00:07:19,912
Come on, Ted,
158
00:07:19,913 --> 00:07:23,216
this storm is not a big deal.
159
00:07:23,217 --> 00:07:25,385
This storm is a big deal.
160
00:07:25,386 --> 00:07:26,853
Let's replay
that harrowing footage
161
00:07:26,854 --> 00:07:28,655
of Irene touching
down in North Carolina.
162
00:07:33,994 --> 00:07:35,895
We gotta get out of here!
163
00:07:35,896 --> 00:07:38,031
Go, go! Come on,
come on!
164
00:07:40,329 --> 00:07:41,870
Please let me take it off!
No.
165
00:07:41,990 --> 00:07:43,478
$5,000?
No.
166
00:07:43,598 --> 00:07:44,285
Is he serious?
167
00:07:44,386 --> 00:07:45,419
$10,000?
168
00:07:45,420 --> 00:07:46,787
No.
Dudes, take the money.
169
00:07:46,788 --> 00:07:48,189
$20,000?
No.
170
00:07:48,190 --> 00:07:50,157
Yes. I'll let you slap me in the face
171
00:07:50,158 --> 00:07:52,059
as hard as you can.
You have my attention.
172
00:07:52,060 --> 00:07:54,561
Kids, you remember Marshall
and Barney's slap bet.
173
00:07:54,562 --> 00:07:57,464
A few years earlier,
Barney lost a bet to Marshall.
174
00:07:57,465 --> 00:08:01,202
His penalty was five slaps
delivered anyplace, anytime.
175
00:08:01,203 --> 00:08:04,471
So far, Marshall had slapped
Barney four times.
176
00:08:04,472 --> 00:08:06,507
Which meant he only had
one slap left.
177
00:08:06,508 --> 00:08:08,542
What do you say, Marshall?
178
00:08:08,543 --> 00:08:11,345
Are you going to seize
this slap-ortunity
179
00:08:11,346 --> 00:08:13,247
or let it slap
through your fingers?
180
00:08:13,248 --> 00:08:15,149
Don't let him
tempt you, Marshall.
181
00:08:15,150 --> 00:08:18,019
I don't know, Lily. I mean
we have a baby on the way.
182
00:08:18,020 --> 00:08:20,654
An extra slap could
really come in handy.
183
00:08:20,655 --> 00:08:21,956
No! No!
184
00:08:21,957 --> 00:08:24,058
This is crazy.
185
00:08:24,059 --> 00:08:27,295
You having to wear that tie
for another ten months
186
00:08:27,296 --> 00:08:29,163
is all the satisfaction I need.
187
00:08:29,164 --> 00:08:30,398
Plus,
188
00:08:30,399 --> 00:08:32,199
I still have one slap left,
189
00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:35,602
and that feels good. But if
you didn't have that slap left-
190
00:08:35,603 --> 00:08:39,373
if say, I were to get you
to slap me tonight-
191
00:08:39,374 --> 00:08:42,276
I suppose that
would change everything.
192
00:08:43,211 --> 00:08:45,846
I suppose it would.
193
00:08:47,282 --> 00:08:51,052
Le jeu commence.
194
00:08:51,053 --> 00:08:56,023
Je m'appelle Marshall.
195
00:08:57,892 --> 00:08:59,827
So boogie-boarding...
Boogie-boarding.
196
00:08:59,828 --> 00:09:01,628
So I was trying to get
these guys to leave,
197
00:09:01,629 --> 00:09:03,030
but there was
one little problem.
198
00:09:03,031 --> 00:09:04,298
Come on, let's go.
199
00:09:04,299 --> 00:09:05,399
I'm staying.
200
00:09:05,400 --> 00:09:07,201
What?!
Barney?!
201
00:09:07,202 --> 00:09:09,070
Hey, hey, it's going to get
pretty crazy out there.
202
00:09:09,071 --> 00:09:11,138
And if some hot woman gets
all her clothes blown off,
203
00:09:11,139 --> 00:09:12,639
and I'm not up here
to videotape it
204
00:09:12,640 --> 00:09:14,508
and put it up on the Internet,
who will, FEMA?
205
00:09:14,509 --> 00:09:15,843
Come on, open your eyes.
206
00:09:15,844 --> 00:09:17,544
No, no, you are coming with us.
207
00:09:17,545 --> 00:09:20,781
We leave no man behind.
208
00:09:20,782 --> 00:09:22,383
Hey, Mom.
209
00:09:22,384 --> 00:09:24,986
Uh, yeah, the boots
were a big hit.
210
00:09:26,554 --> 00:09:27,989
You know, I better pee.
211
00:09:27,990 --> 00:09:30,157
But when Lily and I get back,
we're all leaving.
212
00:09:30,158 --> 00:09:31,859
Wait, I have to go
pee with you?
213
00:09:31,860 --> 00:09:34,362
You want me to go
to the "bathroom,"
214
00:09:34,363 --> 00:09:37,798
the most dangerous room
in the house by myself?
215
00:09:37,799 --> 00:09:39,933
Do you have any idea
what could happen?
216
00:09:41,169 --> 00:09:43,871
Ow! My eye!
217
00:09:43,872 --> 00:09:46,240
I'm blind!
218
00:09:48,276 --> 00:09:51,678
No, no!
Not like this!
219
00:09:51,679 --> 00:09:53,614
I don't think
we're seeing eye to eye
220
00:09:53,615 --> 00:09:55,682
about the likelihood
of that happening.
221
00:09:56,684 --> 00:09:58,019
Hey, it's my dad.
222
00:09:58,020 --> 00:10:00,388
My dad's calling me.
223
00:10:00,389 --> 00:10:02,723
Hey, do you know where...?
Ted got his boots?
224
00:10:02,724 --> 00:10:04,458
Yeah. They're fabulous.
I totally want a pair.
225
00:10:04,459 --> 00:10:07,228
Okay, Dad, I will. Thanks.
226
00:10:07,229 --> 00:10:10,431
Guys, Dad says this hurricane is
a bigger deal than you thought.
227
00:10:10,432 --> 00:10:12,500
I'm taking charge.
We are getting out of here.
228
00:10:12,501 --> 00:10:15,536
Okay, what is with
everybody's parents calling
229
00:10:15,537 --> 00:10:17,038
to check up on them?
230
00:10:17,039 --> 00:10:19,173
It's just a little rain.
231
00:10:19,174 --> 00:10:20,741
Lawn-mowing weather.
232
00:10:20,742 --> 00:10:22,876
Bocce weather.
233
00:10:22,877 --> 00:10:24,211
Wow. You're really bummed
234
00:10:24,212 --> 00:10:25,646
that your dad's
not worried about you.
235
00:10:25,647 --> 00:10:26,813
What?!
236
00:10:26,814 --> 00:10:29,783
Eh... What would my
dad be worried about?
237
00:10:29,784 --> 00:10:32,853
That I'm not wearing
enough sunblock?
238
00:10:32,854 --> 00:10:35,122
House-painting weather.
239
00:10:35,890 --> 00:10:37,391
Ted, you're back.
240
00:10:37,392 --> 00:10:39,160
I've changed my mind.
I'm in. Let's go.
241
00:10:39,161 --> 00:10:40,894
Yeah, I changed my mind, too.
You can't come.
242
00:10:40,895 --> 00:10:42,296
Everybody else,
we're moving out.
243
00:10:43,231 --> 00:10:44,631
That's harsh.
244
00:10:44,632 --> 00:10:46,934
You know what else is harsh?
Ultraviolet light.
245
00:10:46,935 --> 00:10:48,835
I fell asleep in the tanning bed
this week
246
00:10:48,836 --> 00:10:51,072
and I think I got a sunburn
on my cheek.
247
00:10:51,073 --> 00:10:53,507
It's so sensitive.
248
00:10:53,508 --> 00:10:56,177
It's like a big, red bull's-eye.
249
00:10:56,178 --> 00:10:57,478
Ouchie.
250
00:10:57,479 --> 00:10:59,880
Did you take my blush
out of my purse?
251
00:10:59,881 --> 00:11:02,683
So, boogie-boarding.
252
00:11:02,684 --> 00:11:04,151
Boogie-boarding.
253
00:11:04,152 --> 00:11:05,586
Oh, come on, Ted,
254
00:11:05,587 --> 00:11:06,920
you can't just leave him here.
255
00:11:06,921 --> 00:11:08,189
Uh, yeah, I can.
256
00:11:08,190 --> 00:11:10,391
You called me a giant
whining bummer.
257
00:11:10,392 --> 00:11:11,858
You're not allowed in my car.
258
00:11:11,859 --> 00:11:14,462
You don't get to find out
if the geisha finds love.
259
00:11:14,463 --> 00:11:15,696
This is about principle.
260
00:11:19,033 --> 00:11:20,568
Hey, Ted.
I'm ready to go.
261
00:11:20,569 --> 00:11:22,503
And you must be "Principle."
262
00:11:22,504 --> 00:11:25,339
Ah, on a separate note,
guys, this is Maya.
263
00:11:25,340 --> 00:11:26,873
I just met her out in the hall.
264
00:11:26,874 --> 00:11:28,175
We have a lot in common,
265
00:11:28,176 --> 00:11:29,910
such as our mutual love
of country music,
266
00:11:29,911 --> 00:11:31,579
NASCAR and Jeff Foxworthy.
Just go with it.
267
00:11:31,580 --> 00:11:33,347
She needed a ride
out of the city,
268
00:11:33,348 --> 00:11:35,416
and we have an extra seat
in the car, so...
269
00:11:35,417 --> 00:11:36,817
Okay, let's hit it!
270
00:11:36,818 --> 00:11:38,185
Wow.
271
00:11:38,186 --> 00:11:39,753
It's come to this.
272
00:11:39,754 --> 00:11:41,222
You could help a friend,
273
00:11:41,223 --> 00:11:43,190
but instead, you're choosing
the hot girl in
274
00:11:43,191 --> 00:11:44,492
the tight tank top.
275
00:11:45,860 --> 00:11:47,495
Your training is complete!
276
00:11:47,496 --> 00:11:49,730
I'm so proud of this kid!
277
00:11:49,731 --> 00:11:52,266
But seriously,
the storm's coming in,
278
00:11:52,267 --> 00:11:53,734
so dump the hoochie
and wheels up.
279
00:11:53,735 --> 00:11:55,236
You promised me a seat.
280
00:11:55,237 --> 00:11:56,237
Oh, for God's sake.
281
00:11:56,238 --> 00:11:57,804
You two both go.
I'll stay here.
282
00:11:57,805 --> 00:11:59,473
What? Lily, no!
Shotgun!
283
00:11:59,474 --> 00:12:01,908
You're staying. Then
Lily can come! Wha...?
284
00:12:01,909 --> 00:12:03,611
No, no, no, I'll stay here.
Why?
285
00:12:03,612 --> 00:12:06,614
I just want
some time away from you!
286
00:12:07,749 --> 00:12:10,083
What?
287
00:12:10,084 --> 00:12:12,253
Marshall, I'm sorry. I love you,
288
00:12:12,254 --> 00:12:15,556
but I haven't had a second alone
in weeks!
289
00:12:15,557 --> 00:12:17,224
It's summer vacation!
290
00:12:17,225 --> 00:12:19,760
All I want to do is
sit in the bathtub
291
00:12:19,761 --> 00:12:21,995
and read a book, but now...
292
00:12:21,996 --> 00:12:25,199
Baby, I forgot to bring a book.
293
00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:29,069
Do you mind reading
yours out loud?
294
00:12:29,070 --> 00:12:31,572
Hey, it's been no picnic
for me either.
295
00:12:31,573 --> 00:12:33,073
You don't even do the voices.
296
00:12:35,443 --> 00:12:37,378
Blocked number.
297
00:12:37,379 --> 00:12:38,179
Hello?
298
00:12:38,180 --> 00:12:41,515
RJ? It's your father.
299
00:12:41,516 --> 00:12:43,917
Daddy?
300
00:12:43,918 --> 00:12:45,986
I love you.
301
00:12:45,987 --> 00:12:47,521
It means so much
that you called.
302
00:12:47,522 --> 00:12:50,691
Ha! I knew that you
wanted him to call. Busted!
303
00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:53,494
That was you?
304
00:12:53,495 --> 00:12:55,095
I really think
you should slap him.
305
00:12:55,096 --> 00:12:56,096
You should slap him!
306
00:12:56,097 --> 00:12:56,797
Slap him.
Slap him.
307
00:12:56,798 --> 00:12:58,765
Two cheeks, no waiting.
308
00:12:58,766 --> 00:13:01,635
Good, 'cause I really
think I'm gonna slap him!
309
00:13:01,636 --> 00:13:02,469
So, boog -boarding?
310
00:13:02,470 --> 00:13:03,204
Boogie-boarding.
311
00:13:03,205 --> 00:13:04,638
Come on, Ted.
312
00:13:04,639 --> 00:13:06,807
You're gonna give some
random floozy a ride,
313
00:13:06,808 --> 00:13:07,974
but not take Barney?
314
00:13:07,975 --> 00:13:09,510
Floozy?!
315
00:13:09,511 --> 00:13:10,844
If she's going, I'm not going!
316
00:13:10,845 --> 00:13:12,279
Lily, you're staying.
Let's go.
317
00:13:12,280 --> 00:13:13,681
If Lily's staying,
then I'm staying!
318
00:13:13,682 --> 00:13:15,048
Then I'm going.
Then I'm going.
319
00:13:15,049 --> 00:13:17,184
You can't go, Marshall,
'cause I'm going.
320
00:13:17,185 --> 00:13:19,520
If Barney's going, I'm
not going! Then I can go.
321
00:13:19,521 --> 00:13:20,854
Then I'm staying.
Then I'm staying.
322
00:13:20,855 --> 00:13:21,855
Then I'm going.
323
00:13:21,856 --> 00:13:22,956
Then I'm not going.
324
00:13:22,957 --> 00:13:25,192
Okay, you know what?
I'm going.
325
00:13:25,193 --> 00:13:27,228
This storm's been on Doppler
radar for a week.
326
00:13:27,229 --> 00:13:29,129
I'm the only one
who prepared for it.
327
00:13:29,130 --> 00:13:31,265
And you all made fun of me.
So guess what?
328
00:13:31,266 --> 00:13:33,267
This Boy Scout
is taking a hike. Good-bye!
329
00:13:36,037 --> 00:13:39,406
Maya, real quick, did you think
there was anything here, or...
330
00:13:39,407 --> 00:13:40,407
Oh, I have a boyfriend.
331
00:13:40,408 --> 00:13:41,542
Good-bye!
332
00:13:41,543 --> 00:13:44,378
Um, Ted...?
333
00:13:44,379 --> 00:13:46,813
The time for evacuation is over.
334
00:13:46,814 --> 00:13:49,049
Everyone should now go inside
and be prepared
335
00:13:49,050 --> 00:13:52,253
to stay inside until weather
conditions improve,
336
00:13:52,254 --> 00:13:55,856
which won't likely be
until Sunday afternoon.
337
00:13:55,857 --> 00:13:58,259
We're stuck here?
338
00:13:58,260 --> 00:14:00,193
Okay, let's not panic.
339
00:14:03,765 --> 00:14:07,301
You know what?
Let's panic.
340
00:14:16,133 --> 00:14:19,364
Hey, if we don't make it
through the night,
341
00:14:19,765 --> 00:14:22,759
I want you guys to know,
and I really mean this...
342
00:14:23,570 --> 00:14:27,005
I wish I had branched out
and made more friends in my 20s.
343
00:14:27,006 --> 00:14:29,245
Well,
344
00:14:29,468 --> 00:14:32,163
I'm going to go to the bathroom.
345
00:14:32,468 --> 00:14:35,881
By myself, I guess.
346
00:14:35,882 --> 00:14:38,117
Watch out for bears.
347
00:14:41,654 --> 00:14:46,325
Since this might be the end,
I gotta confess something.
348
00:14:46,326 --> 00:14:47,326
Can I?
349
00:14:47,327 --> 00:14:48,894
Might as well.
350
00:14:48,895 --> 00:14:53,332
Barney and I have been doing
the wild thing...
351
00:14:53,333 --> 00:14:55,934
this whole time.
352
00:14:55,935 --> 00:14:58,804
Except a brief period last year
when he was shacking up
353
00:14:58,805 --> 00:15:00,573
with Marshall's mom.
354
00:15:00,574 --> 00:15:04,176
But luckily, three-ways
were on the menu, so...
355
00:15:04,177 --> 00:15:07,113
Marshall, you know she didn't
say any of that, right?
356
00:15:07,114 --> 00:15:10,616
I know, but I just want
to slap him so bad!
357
00:15:10,617 --> 00:15:13,919
But that tie is so stupid!
But the slap would feel so good!
358
00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:15,854
But he hates that tie so much!
359
00:15:15,855 --> 00:15:18,090
Perhaps I can help.
360
00:15:18,091 --> 00:15:21,893
Marshall, ask yourself this
question: why today?
361
00:15:24,097 --> 00:15:26,432
He hasn't said anything about
that tie for weeks,
362
00:15:26,433 --> 00:15:28,033
and yet, suddenly today,
363
00:15:28,034 --> 00:15:29,935
he can't wear it another second?
364
00:15:31,037 --> 00:15:32,704
No, there's a reason.
365
00:15:32,705 --> 00:15:34,373
You've got something coming up.
366
00:15:34,374 --> 00:15:36,475
Something where you're
367
00:15:36,476 --> 00:15:39,845
on display, vulnerable...
368
00:15:39,846 --> 00:15:40,912
exposed.
369
00:15:42,782 --> 00:15:44,183
It's not work-related.
370
00:15:44,184 --> 00:15:46,619
No, this is relationship stuff.
371
00:15:46,620 --> 00:15:49,388
You're trying
to impress someone.
372
00:15:49,389 --> 00:15:50,756
In the lie you told,
373
00:15:50,757 --> 00:15:52,724
you said you were being chased
by two goons.
374
00:15:52,725 --> 00:15:54,092
So it's two people.
375
00:15:54,093 --> 00:15:55,628
A couple, perhaps.
376
00:15:57,130 --> 00:16:00,366
You're meeting
Nora's parents tomorrow!
377
00:16:00,367 --> 00:16:02,834
Wrong!
378
00:16:02,835 --> 00:16:04,936
Wrong, wrong, wrong,
wrong, wrong!
379
00:16:04,937 --> 00:16:08,240
It's in two days, and I really
want them to like me!
380
00:16:08,241 --> 00:16:10,176
Oh-ho!
Therapisted!
381
00:16:10,177 --> 00:16:11,810
Shrinked? Shrunk?
382
00:16:11,811 --> 00:16:13,011
We'll figure it out.
383
00:16:13,012 --> 00:16:14,680
So, boogie-boarding.
384
00:16:14,681 --> 00:16:15,981
Boogie-boarding.
385
00:16:15,982 --> 00:16:19,818
Hey, Lily, can I talk
to you for just a second?
386
00:16:20,953 --> 00:16:22,454
Come here.
387
00:16:22,455 --> 00:16:25,791
Marshall, if I'm in here to
brush your teeth, I swear to...
388
00:16:27,093 --> 00:16:29,495
I'm sorry
that I've been so needy lately.
389
00:16:29,496 --> 00:16:31,730
I know that you need
some time alone.
390
00:16:31,731 --> 00:16:34,600
So... I'll be in
the other room.
391
00:16:35,768 --> 00:16:37,703
You're not going anywhere.
392
00:16:39,239 --> 00:16:42,208
Mmm...
Hey...
393
00:16:44,511 --> 00:16:46,412
And the funny thing is,
394
00:16:46,413 --> 00:16:49,481
after that night,
we'll never be alone again.
395
00:16:49,482 --> 00:16:51,617
You made that in my bathroom?
396
00:16:51,618 --> 00:16:54,019
Whoops.
397
00:16:54,020 --> 00:16:56,822
Wow, a hurricane baby.
398
00:16:56,823 --> 00:16:59,658
Oh, man, Hurricane Eriksen would
be a sweet name.
399
00:16:59,659 --> 00:17:01,594
It would be a crazy sweet name!
400
00:17:01,595 --> 00:17:03,629
Thanks, Ted.
401
00:17:03,630 --> 00:17:06,532
Anyway, the next day,
after the danger had passed...
402
00:17:06,533 --> 00:17:08,900
It's closed.
403
00:17:08,901 --> 00:17:09,901
Now what?
404
00:17:09,902 --> 00:17:12,904
A Boy Scout is always prepared.
405
00:17:12,905 --> 00:17:14,906
Hey!
406
00:17:14,907 --> 00:17:17,409
Nice!
407
00:17:17,410 --> 00:17:18,677
To surviving the hurricane.
408
00:17:18,678 --> 00:17:19,678
Yay!
409
00:17:19,679 --> 00:17:22,715
I love you guys.
Love you.
410
00:17:22,716 --> 00:17:25,451
I did finally make it up here
to the house later that week
411
00:17:25,452 --> 00:17:27,586
only to find that
a falling oak tree had
412
00:17:27,587 --> 00:17:29,154
landed in the living room.
413
00:17:29,155 --> 00:17:32,090
If we'd been here, it would
have crushed us like bugs.
414
00:17:32,091 --> 00:17:34,426
You see, kids, there's no way
of knowing for sure
415
00:17:34,427 --> 00:17:35,927
where the safest place is...
416
00:17:35,928 --> 00:17:39,431
so the best you can hope for is
to have some good company.
417
00:17:39,432 --> 00:17:41,767
Guys, how far do you think I can
boogie-board on this thing?
418
00:17:41,768 --> 00:17:43,201
So far!
419
00:17:43,202 --> 00:17:46,171
Marshall, your insurance doesn't
kick in till tomorrow.
420
00:17:46,172 --> 00:17:48,407
Yeah, well, you know what?
421
00:17:48,408 --> 00:17:49,975
Life kicks in right now.
422
00:17:59,786 --> 00:18:01,353
Don't worry, he wasn't hurt...
423
00:18:01,354 --> 00:18:03,155
the first time.
I have splints!
424
00:18:03,156 --> 00:18:05,491
The second time he went through
the front window of Maclaren's.
425
00:18:05,492 --> 00:18:07,793
Hence the
"No Boogie-boarding" sign.
426
00:18:07,794 --> 00:18:09,928
All right, guys, I gotta go.
427
00:18:09,929 --> 00:18:12,665
Barney, good luck
with Nora's parents.
428
00:18:12,666 --> 00:18:13,666
Bye.
Bye.
429
00:18:13,667 --> 00:18:14,667
See you later.
430
00:18:14,668 --> 00:18:16,635
All right. See you.
See ya.
431
00:18:17,870 --> 00:18:18,970
Hey, Barney?
432
00:18:18,971 --> 00:18:19,871
Hmm?
433
00:18:19,872 --> 00:18:21,907
Listen, um, we made a baby
434
00:18:21,908 --> 00:18:23,509
in your bathroom.
435
00:18:23,510 --> 00:18:25,010
So we owe you one.
436
00:18:26,245 --> 00:18:28,246
So we say...
437
00:18:28,247 --> 00:18:30,382
you can take off the ducky tie.
438
00:18:32,452 --> 00:18:34,787
For three slaps.
439
00:18:34,788 --> 00:18:36,655
Three slaps?
440
00:18:36,656 --> 00:18:39,491
And to be clear,
this would add three slaps
441
00:18:39,492 --> 00:18:43,161
to Marshall's existing one,
giving him four slaps in total.
442
00:18:43,162 --> 00:18:43,995
Deal.
443
00:18:46,966 --> 00:18:48,266
I'm free!
444
00:18:48,267 --> 00:18:52,170
God, this feels so good!
445
00:18:52,171 --> 00:18:54,873
This was a mistake!
446
00:18:54,874 --> 00:18:56,241
I wanna put the tie back on!
447
00:18:56,242 --> 00:18:57,476
I wanna put the tie back on!
448
00:18:57,477 --> 00:18:59,044
Why do I have to be
Barney right now?
449
00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:02,715
Three slaps remaining!
450
00:19:02,716 --> 00:19:05,016
Three slaps. Wow,
I like the sound of that.
451
00:19:05,017 --> 00:19:06,819
I think I'll save
those bad boys,
452
00:19:06,820 --> 00:19:08,286
you know, for a rainy day.
453
00:19:08,287 --> 00:19:09,888
Okay.
The worst is over.
454
00:19:11,891 --> 00:19:12,991
Ah!
455
00:19:12,992 --> 00:19:15,527
Two slaps remaining!
456
00:19:17,163 --> 00:19:18,397
It's all right.
457
00:19:18,398 --> 00:19:20,332
Hey, it's all done...
458
00:19:20,333 --> 00:19:21,633
for now.
459
00:19:21,634 --> 00:19:23,435
I think I need to go home
460
00:19:23,436 --> 00:19:25,637
and reevaluate how
I make life decisions.
461
00:19:25,638 --> 00:19:27,939
Come on. I have
to go back to work.
462
00:19:27,940 --> 00:19:30,008
Let's split a cab. Okay. Yeah.
463
00:19:35,548 --> 00:19:40,819
Did you ever tell those guys
about that other thing
464
00:19:40,820 --> 00:19:42,220
that almost happened?
465
00:19:42,221 --> 00:19:46,191
That other thing?
466
00:19:46,192 --> 00:19:47,926
Oh, that. No. Did you?
467
00:19:47,927 --> 00:19:49,194
No.
468
00:19:50,430 --> 00:19:52,330
Hey, I'm really sorry
about that phone call.
469
00:19:52,331 --> 00:19:53,399
Oh, it's fine.
470
00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:55,834
No, it is so not fine.
I was a jerk.
471
00:19:55,835 --> 00:19:57,836
And if you don't mind my
saying, your dad is
472
00:19:57,837 --> 00:20:00,873
a complete idiot
for not calling.
473
00:20:00,874 --> 00:20:03,542
He should never let a day go by
without calling you
474
00:20:03,543 --> 00:20:07,613
because when I let a day go by
without talking to you...
475
00:20:07,614 --> 00:20:13,419
Um, that day's just no good.
476
00:20:18,024 --> 00:20:20,125
Um, sorry.
477
00:20:20,126 --> 00:20:21,427
Um...
478
00:20:22,462 --> 00:20:24,129
It's my dad.
479
00:20:24,130 --> 00:20:25,263
Wait, show me your hands.
480
00:20:25,264 --> 00:20:26,298
My hands.
481
00:20:26,299 --> 00:20:29,200
Hey, Dad!
482
00:20:29,201 --> 00:20:31,937
That's what I've been saying!
483
00:20:31,938 --> 00:20:33,806
Golf weather!
484
00:20:33,807 --> 00:20:35,507
Can you believe we almost...?
485
00:20:35,508 --> 00:20:37,075
I know.
486
00:20:37,076 --> 00:20:38,143
Good thing we didn't.
487
00:20:38,144 --> 00:20:40,245
Yeah. I mean, not
long after that
488
00:20:40,246 --> 00:20:41,613
you got together with Nora.
489
00:20:41,614 --> 00:20:42,781
And you met Kevin.
490
00:20:42,782 --> 00:20:43,882
Yeah.
Disaster averted.
491
00:20:43,883 --> 00:20:45,183
Exactly.
492
00:20:45,184 --> 00:20:47,252
It would've ruined everything
if we'd been all...
493
00:20:47,253 --> 00:20:48,226
ah-la-la-la...
494
00:20:48,346 --> 00:20:50,355
I know, right?
So dumb...
495
00:20:50,356 --> 00:20:52,816
La-la-la-la-la-la...
32492
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