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By the fall of 2011,
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00:00:03,116 --> 00:00:06,316
technology had taken a lot
of the intrigue out of life.
3
00:00:08,586 --> 00:00:11,646
The Internet had everyone's
wall of information.
4
00:00:13,146 --> 00:00:15,306
Nothing was a mystery anymore.
5
00:00:18,746 --> 00:00:22,656
But,kids,there was a time before
that,way back in the dark ages.
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00:00:22,656 --> 00:00:24,296
Are you people insane?!
7
00:00:24,296 --> 00:00:26,986
The most popular food in
America is the cheeseburger!
8
00:00:26,986 --> 00:00:28,886
No way! It's pizza!
9
00:00:28,886 --> 00:00:33,596
Are we forgetting about a certain
Mr. Furter,first name Frank?
10
00:00:33,596 --> 00:00:38,286
Um,what did every kid bring in their
lunchbox every day till grade eight?
11
00:00:38,286 --> 00:00:40,426
Pancakes with maple syrup.
12
00:00:40,426 --> 00:00:42,226
Thanks,Canada.
13
00:00:42,226 --> 00:00:45,516
We're looking for a food
the average American eats.
14
00:00:45,516 --> 00:00:47,716
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Oh! Chinese food.
15
00:00:48,176 --> 00:00:50,116
And then came the smartphone.
16
00:00:52,716 --> 00:00:57,616
Hey,remember when we were arguing
about the most popular food?
17
00:00:57,616 --> 00:00:59,416
It's bread.
18
00:01:01,006 --> 00:01:03,146
And the barroom debate was dead.
19
00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:05,296
{\a6}october 2011
20
00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:05,306
You guys are idiots!
21
00:01:05,306 --> 00:01:07,046
Okay,not completely dead.
22
00:01:07,046 --> 00:01:09,526
You are seriously telling me you
don't want to open that envelope
23
00:01:09,526 --> 00:01:11,476
and find out if you're
having a boy or a girl?
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00:01:11,476 --> 00:01:15,156
Nope. Dr. Sonya only gave us
this in case we wanted to know.
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00:01:15,156 --> 00:01:16,776
But we don't.
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00:01:16,776 --> 00:01:17,926
Lilypad and I are just gonna wait
27
00:01:17,926 --> 00:01:20,876
till that baby pops out
and enjoy the big surprise.
28
00:01:20,876 --> 00:01:24,376
Look,I have pretended to be a
licensed therapist enough times
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00:01:24,376 --> 00:01:28,556
to know there is something unhealthy
about your not wanting to find out.
30
00:01:28,556 --> 00:01:30,846
- Back me up here,Kev.
- No,no,no,no,no.
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00:01:30,846 --> 00:01:34,786
This real therapist won't risk
upsetting his wonderful new girlfriend
32
00:01:34,786 --> 00:01:37,716
by analyzing her wonderful friends.
33
00:01:37,716 --> 00:01:40,866
No matter how mentally
unbalanced they may be.
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00:01:40,866 --> 00:01:43,966
- I hear you.
- I don't think you do.
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00:01:43,966 --> 00:01:46,726
We just don't want to
burden our little angel
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00:01:46,726 --> 00:01:50,056
with all kinds of
gender-specific expectations.
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00:01:50,056 --> 00:01:52,726
Boys can do ballet;
girls can play football.
38
00:01:52,726 --> 00:01:55,946
Hell,the Green Bay Packers have
been proving that for years.
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00:01:58,506 --> 00:02:00,976
That would've gotten a
big laugh at a sports bar.
40
00:02:00,976 --> 00:02:03,746
Well,I say define gender roles early.
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00:02:03,746 --> 00:02:08,356
All the other girls got a pretty
dress and a cake when they turned 14.
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00:02:08,356 --> 00:02:09,856
Me...
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00:02:09,856 --> 00:02:12,146
I want to go home,Daddy!
44
00:02:12,816 --> 00:02:16,136
That direction is nothing but wolves.
45
00:02:16,786 --> 00:02:21,426
And 40 kilometers that way is
the mining town of Smithers.
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00:02:21,796 --> 00:02:24,226
I'd take my chances with the wolves.
47
00:02:26,656 --> 00:02:29,846
I'll see you in three days.
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00:02:29,846 --> 00:02:32,206
Well,wait,wh-what am I supposed to eat?
49
00:02:32,206 --> 00:02:35,246
Hey,you've got a knife,the
forest is full of animals--
50
00:02:35,246 --> 00:02:37,946
- what do you want,a buffet?
- Papa...!
51
00:02:39,576 --> 00:02:43,216
Happy birthday,son...!
52
00:02:44,136 --> 00:02:45,926
Got any thoughts on that,Doc?
53
00:02:45,926 --> 00:02:49,166
If you guys think I'm going
near that,you're crazy.
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00:02:49,166 --> 00:02:52,636
- Why'd you emphasize "you're"?
- No reason. You're pretty.
55
00:02:53,156 --> 00:02:57,376
-=http://bbs.sfile2012.com=-
-=http://ytet.org=-
Proudly Presents
56
00:02:57,376 --> 00:03:01,206
-=http://bbs.sfile2012.com=-
-=http://ytet.org=-
Sync: ¿¨»Ò
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00:03:01,206 --> 00:03:04,816
how.i.met.your.mother
S07E06
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00:03:05,786 --> 00:03:09,336
By the way,do you guys want to come over
tomorrow night for sangria and tapas?
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00:03:09,336 --> 00:03:11,236
- Si. Muchas gracias.
- That sounds awesome. Great.
60
00:03:11,236 --> 00:03:12,816
We're also gonna paint the nursery.
61
00:03:12,816 --> 00:03:16,286
Oh,and a quick update on the
sangria and tapas-- that's cancelled.
62
00:03:17,736 --> 00:03:20,576
Guess what smooth son of a bitch
just picked up a girl at the bar?
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00:03:20,576 --> 00:03:22,786
Barney,you're cheating on Nora already?
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00:03:22,786 --> 00:03:26,306
No,guys,it's me. Janet McIntyre.
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00:03:26,306 --> 00:03:28,286
Struck up a conversation
at the bar while ordering,
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00:03:28,286 --> 00:03:30,206
she guessed bread right away,we laughed,
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00:03:30,206 --> 00:03:33,156
it was a thing,boom,going
out tomorrow night.
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00:03:33,156 --> 00:03:36,466
- So,she said yes just like that?
- Just like that.
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00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:38,236
There's something wrong with her.
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00:03:38,236 --> 00:03:41,116
No,no,no,no. Stop it.
They always do this.
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00:03:41,116 --> 00:03:44,876
Every time I go on a first date,they
snap right into research mode.
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00:03:44,876 --> 00:03:47,086
It started by accident.
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00:03:49,966 --> 00:03:50,966
Hello?
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00:03:50,966 --> 00:03:54,986
Ted,we did a little Internet
research on your Mia Plumley.
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00:03:54,986 --> 00:03:57,406
We just sent you a picture
of her from six months ago.
76
00:03:57,406 --> 00:04:00,346
I don't understand-- is Mia standing
behind this morbidly obese wo...
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00:04:00,676 --> 00:04:03,496
Oh,my God!
78
00:04:03,496 --> 00:04:05,066
They had cookies and cream.
79
00:04:05,066 --> 00:04:06,756
And what you were saying
about how women feel
80
00:04:06,756 --> 00:04:10,196
they have to starve
themselves makes so much sense.
81
00:04:10,196 --> 00:04:13,186
Ooh,hot dogs. Score!
82
00:04:13,186 --> 00:04:17,926
After that,background checks
became standard operating procedure.
83
00:04:17,926 --> 00:04:20,316
The date with Nadine went great.
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00:04:20,316 --> 00:04:22,316
Unless you guys found something.
85
00:04:22,316 --> 00:04:24,306
Are you sitting down?
86
00:04:24,306 --> 00:04:26,126
No.
87
00:04:28,716 --> 00:04:31,526
She's wanted in Florida
on crystal meth charges.
88
00:04:31,526 --> 00:04:34,126
She breeds pit bulls for dog fighting.
89
00:04:34,126 --> 00:04:36,226
- Also,the FBI...
- What's this link?
90
00:04:36,226 --> 00:04:38,326
Oh,she also writes online movie reviews.
91
00:04:38,326 --> 00:04:41,526
Anyway,she's still married to
a death row inmate convicted...
92
00:04:41,526 --> 00:04:44,526
She gave Annie Hall
two out of ten stars?
93
00:04:44,526 --> 00:04:46,796
"Slow and overrated"?
94
00:04:46,796 --> 00:04:49,186
Really? That's your takeaway?
95
00:04:49,186 --> 00:04:51,386
It's the Wood Man at
the height of his powers.
96
00:04:51,386 --> 00:04:54,416
The way he broke the fourth wall
by talking directly to camera?
97
00:04:54,416 --> 00:04:56,216
People have been ripping
that off ever since.
98
00:04:56,216 --> 00:04:58,356
Can you believe this guy?
99
00:05:00,036 --> 00:05:03,926
Paula Vincenzo. She's in the
bathroom. What's wrong with her?
100
00:05:03,926 --> 00:05:08,616
Total psycho. Her Facebook wall has a link
to a site about dating inanimate objects.
101
00:05:08,616 --> 00:05:12,506
For most of last year,she was
engaged... to a mini fridge.
102
00:05:12,506 --> 00:05:15,416
And there's pictures: her
and the mini fridge on a hike,
103
00:05:15,416 --> 00:05:17,306
her and the mini fridge in wine country,
104
00:05:17,306 --> 00:05:18,896
here's the mini fridge
meeting her parents...
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00:05:18,896 --> 00:05:20,956
Run like the wind.
106
00:05:23,476 --> 00:05:27,436
So... want to go back to my place?
107
00:05:27,436 --> 00:05:29,216
Yeah,all right.
108
00:05:30,546 --> 00:05:33,316
Well,thanks to us,you ran screaming
from that freak show,right?
109
00:05:33,316 --> 00:05:36,226
Absolutely. Cuckoo!
110
00:05:37,866 --> 00:05:39,726
So what's the problem? You need us.
111
00:05:39,726 --> 00:05:42,726
No,I don't,okay? I don't
want a background check.
112
00:05:42,726 --> 00:05:44,776
I want adventure and excitement.
113
00:05:44,776 --> 00:05:49,976
Look,if it's a choice between
mystery and history,I want mystery.
114
00:05:50,516 --> 00:05:51,856
In fact...
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00:05:51,856 --> 00:05:53,396
Ted,I wouldn't...
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00:05:53,396 --> 00:05:56,456
Uh,Janet. I have a theory.
117
00:05:56,456 --> 00:05:59,856
People don't get the chance to just
discover each other anymore,so...
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00:05:59,856 --> 00:06:01,986
here's my idea. Before
we go out tomorrow,
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00:06:01,986 --> 00:06:05,486
let's not do any prior
Internet research on each other.
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00:06:05,486 --> 00:06:07,146
It sounds like I'm hiding
something horrible,doesn't it?
121
00:06:07,146 --> 00:06:08,746
I'm pretty sure you're a serial killer.
122
00:06:08,746 --> 00:06:10,076
I'm not. I'm not.
123
00:06:10,076 --> 00:06:12,606
It's just,you know,like,when
my parents met,
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00:06:12,606 --> 00:06:16,086
they didn't have the Internet-- they just
went out on a blind date and fell in love.
125
00:06:16,086 --> 00:06:17,906
That's nice. And they're still together?
126
00:06:17,906 --> 00:06:19,586
Right up to the divorce.
127
00:06:19,586 --> 00:06:24,656
The point is,I'd love to get to know
you in person,not on my computer.
128
00:06:24,656 --> 00:06:26,156
I like that.
129
00:06:26,156 --> 00:06:29,116
What started out sounding really
creepy turned out really sweet.
130
00:06:29,116 --> 00:06:31,366
That's kind of my move.
131
00:06:32,366 --> 00:06:35,536
And she was on board with
the whole "no Internet" thing?
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00:06:35,536 --> 00:06:37,926
She loved it.
133
00:06:38,726 --> 00:06:41,556
- The bitch is hiding something.
- The bitch is totally hiding something.
134
00:06:45,806 --> 00:06:47,426
Hey,Ted,before
you leave--
135
00:06:47,426 --> 00:06:50,226
is Janet McIntyre
M-A-C or M-C?
136
00:06:50,226 --> 00:06:54,146
For the last time,I don't want to know
anything about her before the date.
137
00:06:54,146 --> 00:06:57,336
You might want to see
this,Ted-- naked pictures.
138
00:06:57,836 --> 00:07:00,866
- That's not Janet.
- Who,now?
139
00:07:01,356 --> 00:07:02,726
Seriously...
140
00:07:02,726 --> 00:07:06,986
if you guys respect me as
a friend... stop looking.
141
00:07:11,256 --> 00:07:13,696
Well,Ted was pretty clear there,so...
142
00:07:13,696 --> 00:07:16,346
let's shut those laptops and
go help Lily and Marshall,
143
00:07:16,346 --> 00:07:18,276
just like we promised.
144
00:07:18,276 --> 00:07:23,386
Let's leave the laptops here
and go paint that baby room.
145
00:07:23,706 --> 00:07:26,136
Without laptops.
146
00:07:26,136 --> 00:07:28,616
Or bring the laptops. Either way.
147
00:07:28,976 --> 00:07:30,476
This is exciting.
148
00:07:30,476 --> 00:07:35,556
I give you... the color
our child will grow up with.
149
00:07:35,556 --> 00:07:40,396
- Yellow,like the sun.
- Or daughter. Pun snuggle.
150
00:07:40,396 --> 00:07:43,776
Oh,God,this room's about
to get its first spit-up.
151
00:07:44,086 --> 00:07:46,496
Just open the envelope already!
152
00:07:46,496 --> 00:07:48,206
Kevin,will you please tell Barney
153
00:07:48,206 --> 00:07:51,496
that it is perfectly normal for
us to want to preserve the mystery.
154
00:07:51,496 --> 00:07:54,066
I'm not here to analyze; I'm
here to win boyfriend points.
155
00:07:54,066 --> 00:07:56,806
By the way,you all look
great,especially Robin.
156
00:07:56,806 --> 00:07:58,966
Come on,if you don't know the gender,
157
00:07:58,966 --> 00:08:01,926
you're gonna get generic
crap at the baby shower.
158
00:08:01,926 --> 00:08:04,356
But if you do know
the gender,you'll get,
159
00:08:04,356 --> 00:08:06,476
oh,I don't know,this!
160
00:08:06,476 --> 00:08:10,076
- Marshall! Lights!
- Okay.
161
00:08:13,176 --> 00:08:15,426
When little Jack's not
turning double plays,
162
00:08:15,426 --> 00:08:19,406
he's turning heads with
this home run of an outfit!
163
00:08:19,406 --> 00:08:21,306
And if it's a little girl...
164
00:08:21,806 --> 00:08:24,586
This royal ensemble may
leave you speechless,
165
00:08:24,586 --> 00:08:26,956
but it's sure to make little Sally say,
166
00:08:26,956 --> 00:08:30,016
"I wuv you,Mommy,and I wuv my dress,
167
00:08:30,016 --> 00:08:33,066
and I would love to
see you in the shower.
168
00:08:33,066 --> 00:08:35,886
" Sorry,I kind of fell out of
character in that last part.
169
00:08:35,886 --> 00:08:38,066
But if you don't know the gender...
170
00:08:39,446 --> 00:08:42,606
Little Fran is sure to be
the pariah of the playground
171
00:08:42,606 --> 00:08:45,926
in this hermaphroditic burlap sack.
172
00:08:45,926 --> 00:08:48,066
costume*** directed by McG
173
00:08:48,066 --> 00:08:49,966
Marshall! Lights!
174
00:08:51,876 --> 00:08:54,946
Barney,you don't really care abo'.
175
00:08:54,946 --> 00:08:58,426
No. You just can't stand
not knowing something.
176
00:08:58,426 --> 00:09:00,596
That's ridiculous!
177
00:09:01,116 --> 00:09:03,676
Marshall,will you... will
you hold these for a second?
178
00:09:03,676 --> 00:09:05,156
Yeah,sure. Why?
179
00:09:05,156 --> 00:09:06,776
Because I gots to know!
180
00:09:06,776 --> 00:09:08,476
Oh,Barney,no! Help! Get him off of me!
181
00:09:08,476 --> 00:09:11,136
- Everybody hold it! Hold it!
- No.
182
00:09:11,136 --> 00:09:14,476
I found Janet McIntyre,who's
been widowed three times.
183
00:09:14,476 --> 00:09:16,826
She's obviously killing her husbands!
184
00:09:16,826 --> 00:09:19,286
Oh,my God!
185
00:09:19,286 --> 00:09:20,896
They're six minutes into the date.
186
00:09:20,896 --> 00:09:23,056
Ted's probably already
told her that he loves her!
187
00:09:23,056 --> 00:09:24,506
We've got to get down there!
188
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:29,796
- Nobody's going anywhere!
- Why?!
189
00:09:29,796 --> 00:09:33,366
Kids,at that moment,Kevin thought
back to his earlier rule...
190
00:09:33,366 --> 00:09:37,396
This real therapist won't risk
upsetting his wonderful new girlfriend
191
00:09:37,396 --> 00:09:39,856
by analyzing her wonderful friends.
192
00:09:39,856 --> 00:09:41,126
...and threw it out the window.
193
00:09:41,126 --> 00:09:46,136
You're all the most codependent,incestuous,
controlling group of people I've ever met!
194
00:09:47,636 --> 00:09:50,686
By the way,you all look
great,especially Robin.
195
00:09:55,706 --> 00:09:57,756
This is so great. Right?
196
00:09:57,756 --> 00:09:59,466
See,if we'd researched each other,
197
00:09:59,466 --> 00:10:02,536
we'd both be secretly steering the
conversation one way or the other.
198
00:10:02,536 --> 00:10:05,556
- But this is more exciting,right?
- Way more exciting.
199
00:10:05,556 --> 00:10:08,366
I mean,we can talk about
anything we want. Anything.
200
00:10:12,676 --> 00:10:14,096
So...
201
00:10:14,946 --> 00:10:17,176
...how was the traffic getting here?
202
00:10:17,176 --> 00:10:19,986
You picked me up at my apartment.
203
00:10:19,986 --> 00:10:22,386
I certainly did.
204
00:10:23,226 --> 00:10:27,276
Oh,my God,I've lost the ability to
talk to girls without the Internet.
205
00:10:27,276 --> 00:10:29,316
My brain is completely shutting down.
206
00:10:29,316 --> 00:10:32,196
So,are you folks gonna
have dinner or just drinks?
207
00:10:33,116 --> 00:10:35,316
I-I don't know.
208
00:10:36,446 --> 00:10:38,316
What the hell was that,Kevin?
209
00:10:38,316 --> 00:10:40,966
We're all crazy just because I'm
looking up some stuff on the Internet,
210
00:10:40,966 --> 00:10:43,436
and Barney wants to
know the baby's gender?
211
00:10:43,436 --> 00:10:48,566
Well,to be honest,I noticed
some other disturbing...
212
00:10:49,246 --> 00:10:51,886
Never mind. It's nothing. I'm sorry.
213
00:10:51,886 --> 00:10:54,266
I gots to know!
214
00:10:54,266 --> 00:10:56,246
Okay,last night alone...
215
00:10:56,246 --> 00:10:58,656
When-When are you coming back?
216
00:10:59,026 --> 00:11:01,816
Because I miss you,silly!
217
00:11:03,266 --> 00:11:04,336
Wait,who's he talking to?
218
00:11:04,336 --> 00:11:06,966
Shh,I'll be back soon.
219
00:11:06,966 --> 00:11:08,976
Yeah,you want me to bring you a pretzel?
220
00:11:08,976 --> 00:11:10,956
separation***
221
00:11:11,506 --> 00:11:13,886
Ted's texting me from the bathroom.
222
00:11:17,256 --> 00:11:19,756
I don't get it. It's just
a "C" with an apostrophe.
223
00:11:19,756 --> 00:11:21,306
Oh. Oh,yeah.
224
00:11:21,306 --> 00:11:23,506
Sometimes when one of us is on the can,
225
00:11:23,506 --> 00:11:28,036
we'll,uh,sneak a peek and
then text each other,you know.
226
00:11:28,606 --> 00:11:31,726
Symbols to describe what your
bowel movement looks like?
227
00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:36,536
This morning,I took an ampersand.
228
00:11:36,936 --> 00:11:41,246
Last summer,I dropped a deuce that
actually looked like the number two!
229
00:11:42,226 --> 00:11:43,966
inappropriate***
230
00:11:43,966 --> 00:11:47,866
When you worked late Wednesday,I...
231
00:11:47,866 --> 00:11:51,046
I got lonely and...
232
00:11:52,006 --> 00:11:54,826
I watched Survivor without you.
233
00:11:54,826 --> 00:11:56,466
survivor***
234
00:11:56,466 --> 00:11:59,056
Practically the only unhealthy
behavior I didn't see from you people
235
00:11:59,056 --> 00:12:00,926
was physical violence.
236
00:12:08,926 --> 00:12:11,446
Yeah. At least we don't do that.
237
00:12:11,936 --> 00:12:14,976
And to top it off,all the
meddling in Ted's love life,
238
00:12:14,976 --> 00:12:17,006
not to mention Lily's pregnancy?
239
00:12:17,006 --> 00:12:20,166
It all strikes me as
just deeply dysfunctional.
240
00:12:21,366 --> 00:12:24,546
So what you're saying is,we're fine?
241
00:12:24,546 --> 00:12:25,956
denial
242
00:12:25,956 --> 00:12:31,396
So,while this font is often
mistaken for Helvetica,
243
00:12:31,396 --> 00:12:33,316
the fact is...
244
00:12:34,716 --> 00:12:37,076
it's Helvetica Bold.
245
00:12:37,976 --> 00:12:42,426
I can actually hear the sound
of her vagina being boarded up.
246
00:12:43,956 --> 00:12:46,906
I got to be honest,Janet.
First of all...
247
00:12:46,906 --> 00:12:49,456
this is Times New Roman.
248
00:12:49,456 --> 00:12:53,166
Second,I'm having trouble coming
up with things to talk about.
249
00:12:53,166 --> 00:12:55,336
You? I'm sitting here thinking,
250
00:12:55,336 --> 00:12:58,246
"Damn it,I wish I had something
as good as that font thing.
251
00:12:58,246 --> 00:12:59,676
That's gold.
252
00:12:59,676 --> 00:13:01,626
" Guys,I'm so sorry I said anything.
253
00:13:01,626 --> 00:13:04,886
Um,you basically called
my friends mentally ill.
254
00:13:04,886 --> 00:13:08,136
Yeah,you think some lame
apology will fix that?
255
00:13:08,136 --> 00:13:10,366
What if I just paint the
rest of the room by myself?
256
00:13:10,366 --> 00:13:12,616
Apology accepted.
257
00:13:12,746 --> 00:13:15,746
Okay,let's do this. Let-Let's find
out each other's likes and dislikes.
258
00:13:15,746 --> 00:13:17,116
Start with something totally random.
259
00:13:17,116 --> 00:13:20,726
Like,um,oh,I don't
know. Are you a fan of--
260
00:13:20,726 --> 00:13:23,636
I don't know--
Annie Hall?
261
00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:25,486
I'm guessing that's not random at all,
262
00:13:25,486 --> 00:13:28,386
and you use that movie to
test whether a girl is cool?
263
00:13:28,386 --> 00:13:29,916
No,it's-it's the first
movie that popped into...
264
00:13:29,916 --> 00:13:32,446
- I love Annie Hall.
- Oh,thank God you're cool.
265
00:13:32,446 --> 00:13:35,626
But just as things started to
go well with Janet McIntyre...
266
00:13:35,626 --> 00:13:38,416
Whoa. I just found Janet McIntyre.
267
00:13:38,416 --> 00:13:40,916
The Janet McIntyre.
268
00:13:46,216 --> 00:13:49,746
Sweet... mother... of God!
269
00:13:54,346 --> 00:13:56,316
{\a6}click***
270
00:13:55,776 --> 00:13:59,786
Uh,well,I got to run to the
restroom. No internet,Mister.
271
00:13:59,786 --> 00:14:01,906
If you find out my deep,dark
secret,I'll have to kill you.
272
00:14:01,906 --> 00:14:03,436
It's just my friends checking up on me.
273
00:14:03,436 --> 00:14:05,576
I'll politely let them know
we're having a lovely time.
274
00:14:05,576 --> 00:14:06,726
Okay.
275
00:14:08,396 --> 00:14:10,726
Ted says,"I'm not clicking
on the link,so leave me alone.
276
00:14:10,726 --> 00:14:13,786
" And then either texted me a
bunch of symbols for profanity,
277
00:14:13,786 --> 00:14:17,186
or got food poisoning and dropped
the weirdest deuce of all time.
278
00:14:17,186 --> 00:14:18,656
You guys have to see this.
279
00:14:18,656 --> 00:14:20,646
No. We're with Ted on this.
280
00:14:20,646 --> 00:14:22,406
We don't want to find out about Janet,
281
00:14:22,406 --> 00:14:24,796
just like we don't want
to find out about the baby.
282
00:14:24,796 --> 00:14:28,556
Because we like mystery,whether
it's the hairy majesty of Bigfoot,
283
00:14:28,556 --> 00:14:31,326
or the bloodsucking
ferocity of the Chupacabra,
284
00:14:31,326 --> 00:14:34,056
or the gender of our little miracle.
285
00:14:34,056 --> 00:14:37,236
Thanks for putting those together
in the same sentence,sweetie.
286
00:14:37,566 --> 00:14:40,486
Look,if you guys don't
want to know,how about this?
287
00:14:40,486 --> 00:14:42,846
Let me look,and I won't tell you.
288
00:14:42,846 --> 00:14:44,886
- Absolutely not.
- Fine.
289
00:14:45,356 --> 00:14:48,176
Baby,if it will shut
him up,what's the harm?
290
00:14:50,866 --> 00:14:52,296
Can I...?
291
00:14:57,416 --> 00:14:59,086
This may have been a mistake.
292
00:14:59,086 --> 00:15:02,746
Boy! Do I like babies!
293
00:15:02,746 --> 00:15:07,476
Girl! ...friend,your
hair looks fantastic!
294
00:15:07,476 --> 00:15:11,216
Twins! was the feel-good movie of 1988.
295
00:15:12,196 --> 00:15:14,386
Okay,Barney,hey,it doesn't
matter what you guys say.
296
00:15:14,386 --> 00:15:17,096
- We're not gonna cave.
- Yes,we are!
297
00:15:17,096 --> 00:15:21,096
Oh,just open your eyes. This
gender-neutral yellow is horrible!
298
00:15:21,096 --> 00:15:23,406
We're clearly gonna paint
over the whole thing!
299
00:15:23,406 --> 00:15:25,836
That's what you want to hear.
300
00:15:25,836 --> 00:15:28,316
- I gots to know!
- Yeah.
301
00:15:29,506 --> 00:15:33,366
"It's a... " It's a...
302
00:15:33,366 --> 00:15:34,956
Where is the rest of the card?
303
00:15:34,956 --> 00:15:36,696
I ripped it in half.
304
00:15:36,696 --> 00:15:39,776
I knew you'd be desperate to
see it,and I'll give it to you.
305
00:15:39,776 --> 00:15:41,546
All you have to do is admit
306
00:15:41,546 --> 00:15:46,426
that mystery is stupid by
reading about Janet McIntyre.
307
00:15:46,426 --> 00:15:49,856
This is in no way emotional
extortion. You guys are great.
308
00:15:49,856 --> 00:15:52,156
Fine,we'll look at your laptop.
309
00:15:54,106 --> 00:15:58,526
Sweet... mother... of God.
310
00:15:59,936 --> 00:16:03,696
I can't really see the computer screen.
It just went down the wrong pipe.
311
00:16:06,236 --> 00:16:08,296
{\a6}lily***
312
00:16:08,156 --> 00:16:09,736
If Lily and Marshall
want me to click on it,
313
00:16:09,736 --> 00:16:12,566
maybe Janet really does
have a deep,dark secret.
314
00:16:14,016 --> 00:16:16,636
- What's going on?
- I'm a prostitute.
315
00:16:16,636 --> 00:16:18,966
You didn't think I was
actually into you,did you?
316
00:16:18,966 --> 00:16:20,766
Sort of.
317
00:16:22,306 --> 00:16:24,356
Get it together,Mosby.
318
00:16:29,736 --> 00:16:32,746
You don't buy beer,you
rent it. Am I right?
319
00:16:32,746 --> 00:16:37,406
- This is the men's room.
- I know. I'm a dude.
320
00:16:46,216 --> 00:16:49,646
Listen,there's something
you should know.
321
00:16:49,926 --> 00:16:51,616
I lied.
322
00:16:51,616 --> 00:16:53,756
I only kind of liked Annie Hall.
323
00:16:58,846 --> 00:17:00,786
I gots to know!
324
00:17:05,066 --> 00:17:09,966
Sweet... mother... of God.
325
00:17:25,936 --> 00:17:28,776
Ted,are you okay? You look freaked out.
326
00:17:29,636 --> 00:17:30,806
I'm not freaked out.
327
00:17:30,806 --> 00:17:33,216
I was freaked out. Why?
328
00:17:33,216 --> 00:17:36,886
'Cause I had just discovered
that Janet McIntyre was...
329
00:17:36,886 --> 00:17:38,776
amazing!
330
00:17:39,206 --> 00:17:42,146
janet***
331
00:17:42,146 --> 00:17:45,786
princeton***
332
00:17:45,786 --> 00:17:48,786
kidney***
333
00:17:48,786 --> 00:17:51,956
youngest***
334
00:17:51,956 --> 00:17:55,436
baby-saving***
335
00:17:55,436 --> 00:17:59,456
"i just***"
336
00:17:59,876 --> 00:18:03,376
And just like that,the wall went up.
337
00:18:03,376 --> 00:18:07,406
Okay,he looked at Janet
McIntyre's Internet extravaganza.
338
00:18:07,406 --> 00:18:09,576
Here's the other half of the card.
339
00:18:15,266 --> 00:18:16,826
Wait. Should we do this? I...
340
00:18:16,826 --> 00:18:21,476
I don't know. I mean,my soul says no,but
these hideous yellow walls scream yes.
341
00:18:21,476 --> 00:18:24,326
Should I just stop,or...?
342
00:18:24,326 --> 00:18:26,996
Sweet mother of God!
343
00:18:26,996 --> 00:18:31,276
A dog in Ottawa ran all
the way to Saskatoon!
344
00:18:31,316 --> 00:18:35,356
What? We figured out the Janet
thing. I'm catching up on Canada.
345
00:18:40,686 --> 00:18:43,426
You're with me on this,right? Otherwise,I
can go down,and I can get the card.
346
00:18:43,426 --> 00:18:45,876
- Absolutely.
- Oh,thank you.
347
00:18:48,536 --> 00:18:50,896
And so the gender remained a secret,
348
00:18:50,896 --> 00:18:54,066
but Janet McIntyre's life no longer was.
349
00:18:54,386 --> 00:18:56,056
There was only one problem.
350
00:18:56,056 --> 00:18:58,446
Ted,what's going on?
351
00:18:58,906 --> 00:19:00,586
Nothing.
352
00:19:00,586 --> 00:19:04,786
Did I mention that I'm the youngest architect
in New York history to have a skyscraper built?
353
00:19:05,216 --> 00:19:09,626
So,I'm not quite as far
beneath you as you might think.
354
00:19:09,626 --> 00:19:11,256
Why would I think that?
355
00:19:11,256 --> 00:19:13,786
No reason,but this one
time in sixth grade,
356
00:19:13,786 --> 00:19:16,416
I saw a raccoon trapped in
a gutter,and I told my dad,
357
00:19:16,416 --> 00:19:18,156
and the firemen came and got it out,
358
00:19:18,156 --> 00:19:21,236
so it's not like I pulled a
baby from a creek or anything,
359
00:19:21,236 --> 00:19:22,596
but at least I didn't ignore it
360
00:19:22,596 --> 00:19:25,536
and keep lighting bugs on
fire with my magnifying glass.
361
00:19:25,976 --> 00:19:29,586
- We had one promise,and you broke it.
- What are you talking about?
362
00:19:29,586 --> 00:19:31,526
You looked me up,and now
you find me intimidating.
363
00:19:31,526 --> 00:19:33,856
Why-Why would I find
you intimidating,okay?
364
00:19:33,856 --> 00:19:35,806
It's not like I donated a kidney,
365
00:19:35,806 --> 00:19:37,946
but I donated blood once,
366
00:19:37,946 --> 00:19:40,516
although I wound up fainting,and
they had to put it all back in.
367
00:19:41,756 --> 00:19:43,876
I was so excited about this.
368
00:19:43,886 --> 00:19:45,936
But now you're just a blubbering
idiot like the rest of them.
369
00:19:45,936 --> 00:19:47,676
No,I ain't!
370
00:19:47,676 --> 00:19:51,016
I mean,no,I never do
that thing you says.
371
00:19:51,746 --> 00:19:55,536
What I mean is,you gooder
than me no make difference!
372
00:19:57,426 --> 00:19:59,116
And that's that.
373
00:19:59,116 --> 00:20:01,516
I wish to God I'd never
clicked on that link.
374
00:20:01,516 --> 00:20:04,616
I'm sorry,Ted. We were
just trying to help.
375
00:20:04,616 --> 00:20:10,426
I said it was meddling and
manipulative,but Kevin insisted we butt in.
376
00:20:10,426 --> 00:20:12,426
pathological***
377
00:20:12,426 --> 00:20:14,316
No,it's my fault.
378
00:20:14,316 --> 00:20:15,916
I never should have looked.
379
00:20:15,916 --> 00:20:20,136
In the battle of mystery versus
history,it's best not to know.
380
00:20:22,226 --> 00:20:25,346
- Lily Pad?
- What?
381
00:20:23,896 --> 00:20:25,366
{\a6}boy
382
00:20:25,346 --> 00:20:27,666
We're having a boy.
383
00:20:28,466 --> 00:20:33,046
- We're having a boy. We're having a boy!
- You're having a boy!
384
00:20:33,046 --> 00:20:35,836
We're having a... we're having a boy.
385
00:20:37,276 --> 00:20:39,446
I'll go buy some blue paint.
386
00:20:49,356 --> 00:20:50,856
It needs sharpening.
387
00:20:50,856 --> 00:20:54,686
You see? I told you three
days would go by in no time.
388
00:20:54,686 --> 00:20:57,096
Phineas,take us up!
389
00:20:57,096 --> 00:21:00,226
Well,in case you were wondering,it rained
the entire time I was in the Caribbean.
390
00:21:00,226 --> 00:21:02,476
Thank you for asking.
391
00:21:04,736 --> 00:21:07,146
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