All language subtitles for How_I_Met_Your_Mother_S07E01_kissTVSeries.com
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Ewe
Faroese
Filipino
Finnish
French
Frisian
Ga
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hindi
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Igbo
Indonesian
Interlingua
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kannada
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kurdish (Soranî)
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lingala
Lithuanian
Lozi
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Malayalam
Maltese
Maori
Marathi
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Nigerian Pidgin
Northern Sotho
Norwegian
Norwegian (Nynorsk)
Occitan
Oriya
Oromo
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Punjabi
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Runyakitara
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Serbo-Croatian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Spanish (Latin American)
Sundanese
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Tatar
Telugu
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Tshiluba
Tumbuka
Turkish
Turkmen
Twi
Uighur
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof
Xhosa
Yiddish
Yoruba
Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,502 --> 00:00:04,270
Kids, if there's one
big theme to this story--
2
00:00:04,324 --> 00:00:06,425
and I swear,
we're totally, almost,
3
00:00:06,427 --> 00:00:08,927
not really all that close
to the end-- it's timing.
4
00:00:09,441 --> 00:00:10,738
Timing is everything.
5
00:00:10,763 --> 00:00:12,846
For example, I never
would met your mother
6
00:00:12,847 --> 00:00:14,279
if it weren't for a wedding.
7
00:00:14,281 --> 00:00:17,199
The last wedding
I ever thought I'd be at.
8
00:00:17,201 --> 00:00:19,868
What do you think of this tie?
9
00:00:19,870 --> 00:00:21,119
Oh, thank God.
10
00:00:21,121 --> 00:00:22,905
Barney Stinson needs you
right before his wedding,
11
00:00:22,907 --> 00:00:25,490
you assume there's at least
one dead hooker in the closet,
12
00:00:25,492 --> 00:00:26,524
right?
13
00:00:30,830 --> 00:00:33,081
Is this one better?
14
00:00:33,083 --> 00:00:35,584
Look, the tie is great, and,
you know, it's perfectly normal
15
00:00:35,586 --> 00:00:37,369
to have some
pre-wedding jitters.
16
00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:39,037
I'm not having jitters.
17
00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:40,556
It just occurs to me
18
00:00:40,558 --> 00:00:43,508
that once I put this tie on,
I can never take it off.
19
00:00:43,510 --> 00:00:46,345
I have to wear this tie
forever and ever.
20
00:00:46,347 --> 00:00:47,930
And sure, this tie's skinny now,
21
00:00:47,932 --> 00:00:50,649
but what happens if it gets fat
and starts bossing me around?
22
00:00:50,651 --> 00:00:52,184
Did I make a mistake?
23
00:00:52,186 --> 00:00:54,686
Would I have been happier
with the other tie?
24
00:00:56,239 --> 00:00:59,608
Ted, can I tell you
a big secret?
25
00:00:59,610 --> 00:01:01,577
Yeah, of course.
26
00:01:02,561 --> 00:01:04,947
I'm not really talking
about the tie.
27
00:01:04,949 --> 00:01:06,415
No, I got that, Barney.
28
00:01:06,417 --> 00:01:09,918
I wonder if this whole
thing's a disaster.
29
00:01:09,920 --> 00:01:12,704
What if this is
the worst wedding ever?
30
00:01:12,706 --> 00:01:13,872
Not possible.
31
00:01:13,874 --> 00:01:15,591
We've already been
to the worst wedding ever.
32
00:01:15,593 --> 00:01:17,709
Punchy's wedding.
33
00:01:17,711 --> 00:01:20,379
Marshall really took
a two flusher on that one.
34
00:01:20,381 --> 00:01:22,397
The story of how
Uncle Marshall ruined
35
00:01:22,399 --> 00:01:23,966
my friend Punchy's wedding
36
00:01:23,968 --> 00:01:26,018
starts in September, 2011.
37
00:01:26,020 --> 00:01:28,553
Punchy had asked me
to be his best man.
38
00:01:28,555 --> 00:01:29,605
Hey.
Hey.
39
00:01:29,607 --> 00:01:31,223
Guys, before we go,
would you mind
40
00:01:31,225 --> 00:01:32,557
reading my wedding toast?
41
00:01:32,559 --> 00:01:33,558
Oh, yeah, no problem.
Sure.
42
00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:34,893
Um, all right,
if I have to.
43
00:01:34,895 --> 00:01:37,112
All right.
Whoa.
44
00:01:37,930 --> 00:01:40,565
There's a few
different versions.
45
00:01:40,567 --> 00:01:42,951
Ted, why are you working
so hard on this toast?
46
00:01:42,953 --> 00:01:44,453
Punchy belched his proposal
47
00:01:44,455 --> 00:01:46,455
through a karaoke mic
at a bowling alley.
48
00:01:46,457 --> 00:01:48,407
Okay, look, I've never
told you guys this,
49
00:01:48,409 --> 00:01:51,910
but over the years, a few
of my old high school buddies
50
00:01:51,912 --> 00:01:54,162
have asked me
to give wedding toasts,
51
00:01:54,164 --> 00:01:58,467
and they haven't gone great.
52
00:01:58,469 --> 00:02:01,303
Somehow those weddings
all fell smack-dab
53
00:02:01,305 --> 00:02:03,472
in the worst moments
of my life.
54
00:02:03,474 --> 00:02:06,508
Joel and Mora's love
is a beautiful thing.
55
00:02:06,510 --> 00:02:09,611
I thought I had that...
56
00:02:09,613 --> 00:02:13,482
till my fiancГ©e left me
at the altar last week.
57
00:02:13,484 --> 00:02:16,551
I was asked not to talk
about this, so I won't.
58
00:02:20,056 --> 00:02:23,091
I sit outside her house
at night sometimes.
59
00:02:23,093 --> 00:02:26,295
She got a haircut.
60
00:02:26,297 --> 00:02:28,530
After I lost my job last week,
61
00:02:28,532 --> 00:02:30,866
uh, I was asked not
to give this toast...
62
00:02:30,868 --> 00:02:32,334
No, no, no!
63
00:02:32,336 --> 00:02:34,202
The happy couple
needs to hear this.
64
00:02:34,204 --> 00:02:36,238
Things end.
65
00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:39,875
But from the ashes of your
statistically probable divorce,
66
00:02:39,877 --> 00:02:42,878
hope can rise anew.
67
00:02:44,248 --> 00:02:47,049
That is why I'm starting
my own architecture firm--
68
00:02:47,051 --> 00:02:48,950
Mosbius Designs.
69
00:02:48,952 --> 00:02:52,154
Mosbius Designs has failed.
70
00:02:52,156 --> 00:02:56,425
But Alex and Jessica's love
reminds us that...
71
00:02:58,061 --> 00:03:00,696
Oh, God!
72
00:03:02,648 --> 00:03:05,150
Classic Schmosby.
73
00:03:05,152 --> 00:03:08,904
Whoa. Punchy posted the low
points of your life online?
74
00:03:08,906 --> 00:03:10,489
Oh, not just that.
75
00:03:10,491 --> 00:03:13,691
в™Є Mosbius Designs has failed в™Є
76
00:03:13,693 --> 00:03:16,244
в™Є But Alex and Jessica's love
reminds us that... в™Є
77
00:03:16,246 --> 00:03:19,030
в™Є Tha-tha-tha-tha-tha... в™Є
78
00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:21,900
Oh, God!
79
00:03:21,902 --> 00:03:24,836
So now I seem like
a total train wreck
80
00:03:24,838 --> 00:03:26,871
to all my old
high school friends.
81
00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:28,473
And a bunch of people
in Finland.
82
00:03:28,475 --> 00:03:31,510
The auto-tune thing got
kind of big over there.
83
00:03:31,512 --> 00:03:34,596
That's why I have
to nail this toast.
84
00:03:34,598 --> 00:03:37,482
Ted, you want to nail
something at this wedding--
85
00:03:37,484 --> 00:03:39,568
lose the Trapper Keeper.
86
00:03:39,570 --> 00:03:41,719
The only thing you need
to bring to Cleveland
87
00:03:41,721 --> 00:03:43,488
is this.
88
00:03:43,490 --> 00:03:44,806
That fall I became
89
00:03:44,808 --> 00:03:47,559
the youngest architect
in the history of New York
90
00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:49,194
to break ground
on a skyscraper.
91
00:03:49,196 --> 00:03:51,847
Which led to a glowing
magazine feature.
92
00:03:51,849 --> 00:03:53,331
I planned on having it framed--
93
00:03:53,333 --> 00:03:55,083
Uncle Barney had
different plans.
94
00:03:55,085 --> 00:03:56,535
Here's your toast--
95
00:03:56,537 --> 00:03:58,954
"Single file, ladies.
No fatties""
96
00:03:58,956 --> 00:04:00,455
That's ridiculous.
97
00:04:00,457 --> 00:04:01,838
Yeah, you're right.
It's Cleveland.
98
00:04:01,839 --> 00:04:04,740
"Single file, ladies""
99
00:04:04,787 --> 00:04:08,787
How I Met Your Mother 7x01
The Best Man
Original Air Date on September 19, 2011
100
00:04:08,812 --> 00:04:08,912
== ReSync by jacobian ==
== for 720p Web-DL @ hdbits.org ==
101
00:04:18,257 --> 00:04:20,091
I'm not going
to Punchy's wedding
102
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:22,277
to brag about a magazine...
103
00:04:22,279 --> 00:04:24,279
cover.
104
00:04:24,281 --> 00:04:26,764
Barney, he doesn't need
dating advice from you.
105
00:04:26,766 --> 00:04:28,784
You never even called Nora.
106
00:04:28,786 --> 00:04:30,435
Kids, you remember Nora.
107
00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:32,904
But just the other day...
108
00:04:32,906 --> 00:04:36,074
I'll call you.
It's never too late, Barney.
109
00:04:36,076 --> 00:04:37,793
Or did you call her?
110
00:04:37,795 --> 00:04:39,611
Not that I care.
Did you?
111
00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:41,213
I don't care. Did you?
112
00:04:41,215 --> 00:04:43,415
I haven't called her.
113
00:04:43,417 --> 00:04:45,417
Buddy.
Damn it, Barney.
114
00:04:45,419 --> 00:04:47,118
I was really, really, really
rooting for you two.
115
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:48,336
Who wants hot wings?
116
00:04:48,338 --> 00:04:49,554
I'm in.
117
00:04:49,556 --> 00:04:51,756
Or maybe we should just pour
hot sauce on Barney,
118
00:04:51,758 --> 00:04:53,141
since he's a total chicken.
119
00:04:53,143 --> 00:04:54,843
I did not chicken out.
120
00:04:54,845 --> 00:04:56,812
Nora is looking for
something serious.
121
00:04:56,814 --> 00:04:57,878
I'm not. End of story.
122
00:04:57,879 --> 00:04:59,855
And yes, Robin, I would
love some wings.
123
00:04:59,880 --> 00:05:01,080
Cannibal.
124
00:05:01,268 --> 00:05:02,901
Okay, next round's on me.
125
00:05:02,903 --> 00:05:04,336
Oh, no, we got it.
No, no...
126
00:05:04,338 --> 00:05:06,138
Now Lily and Marshall
had just found out
127
00:05:06,140 --> 00:05:07,639
they were having a baby.
128
00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:10,492
I can't wait to tell everyone.
Baby, no,
129
00:05:10,494 --> 00:05:12,911
we can't tell anyone.
Not until three months.
130
00:05:12,913 --> 00:05:14,312
I don't want to jinx it.
131
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:16,498
That's a bit superstitious,
don't you think?
132
00:05:16,500 --> 00:05:19,451
Whenever we board a flight,
you lick the plane.
133
00:05:19,453 --> 00:05:21,036
Have we crashed
even once?
134
00:05:21,038 --> 00:05:24,339
Don't say a word until we
know everything's okay. Deal?
135
00:05:24,341 --> 00:05:27,292
Deal. But everything's
just going to be great.
136
00:05:27,294 --> 00:05:29,294
I promise.
137
00:05:29,296 --> 00:05:31,463
How can you guarantee that?
138
00:05:33,432 --> 00:05:35,884
Come here.
139
00:05:39,004 --> 00:05:40,939
I'm just so happy.
I don't know how
140
00:05:40,941 --> 00:05:43,608
we're going to keep this secret
for three months.
141
00:05:43,610 --> 00:05:44,976
Relax. It'll be easy.
142
00:05:44,978 --> 00:05:47,011
What'll you have?
143
00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:49,114
Four beers, plus
one non-alcoholic.
144
00:05:49,116 --> 00:05:52,767
You're pregnant!
Get in here!
145
00:05:52,769 --> 00:05:54,619
And so we all headed
to my hometown
146
00:05:54,621 --> 00:05:56,020
where we planned to celebrate
147
00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:57,289
Punchy's big day.
148
00:05:57,291 --> 00:05:58,940
Uncle Barney had
different plans.
149
00:05:58,942 --> 00:06:00,325
Get ready, Cleveland.
150
00:06:00,327 --> 00:06:02,160
The last man to
screw you this hard
151
00:06:02,162 --> 00:06:04,129
then disappear
was LeBron James.
152
00:06:04,131 --> 00:06:07,249
You're trying
to get laid here?
153
00:06:07,251 --> 00:06:09,551
What?
God, Barney,
154
00:06:09,553 --> 00:06:10,919
tonight is a magical night
155
00:06:10,921 --> 00:06:12,888
between Ted's annoying
friend and what's-her-face.
156
00:06:12,890 --> 00:06:14,089
Have some respect.
157
00:06:14,091 --> 00:06:16,040
This isn't just getting laid.
158
00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:17,709
This is market research.
159
00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:22,046
You see, my legendary
success rate of 83%...
160
00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:24,182
17-- it's always
the inverse.
161
00:06:24,184 --> 00:06:25,984
...doesn't happen by accident.
162
00:06:25,986 --> 00:06:28,069
Every single play
I run on women
163
00:06:28,071 --> 00:06:29,604
has been
meticulously field-tested.
164
00:06:29,606 --> 00:06:30,939
By weeding out
165
00:06:30,941 --> 00:06:33,891
the bad plays in smaller markets
like Cleveland,
166
00:06:33,893 --> 00:06:36,060
I know which ones will work
in New York.
167
00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:37,028
For example,
168
00:06:37,030 --> 00:06:39,397
tonight marks
the inaugural flight
169
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:41,750
of the escaped manslaughterer.
170
00:06:42,702 --> 00:06:44,786
Are escaped
manslaughterers sexy?
171
00:06:44,788 --> 00:06:45,903
Not even remotely.
No. No.
172
00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:48,573
Exactly.
We'll never know unless
173
00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:49,791
I try it out tonight.
174
00:06:49,793 --> 00:06:51,459
Schmosby!
Oh!
175
00:06:51,461 --> 00:06:54,179
Turd-faces! What's up?!
176
00:06:54,181 --> 00:06:55,931
You really feel
that ring now.
177
00:06:55,933 --> 00:06:57,415
So glad you all made it.
178
00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:59,684
Open bar. Drink up,
turd-faces,
179
00:06:59,686 --> 00:07:01,853
'cause Kelly's dad's
paying for all this,
180
00:07:01,855 --> 00:07:04,139
and he hates my guts.
181
00:07:04,141 --> 00:07:05,557
It's true.
182
00:07:05,559 --> 00:07:07,642
Who's doing shots?
Come on, let's go.
183
00:07:07,644 --> 00:07:08,926
Oh, no, thank you.
184
00:07:08,928 --> 00:07:10,178
What are you pregnant
or something?
185
00:07:10,180 --> 00:07:11,479
Let's get hammered!
186
00:07:13,116 --> 00:07:14,766
You're drinking
for two tonight, baby.
187
00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:18,203
I will do this for the child.
188
00:07:18,205 --> 00:07:20,271
- Go Browns!
- Go Browns!
189
00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:22,824
In AFC regular season play,
190
00:07:22,826 --> 00:07:25,293
but if they mean the
Super Bowl, go Vikings.
191
00:07:25,295 --> 00:07:26,795
Yowza!
192
00:07:27,998 --> 00:07:30,665
Escaped manslaughterers--
not sexy.
193
00:07:30,667 --> 00:07:32,500
Although in hindsight,
194
00:07:32,502 --> 00:07:35,003
that was kind
of a flawed concept.
195
00:07:35,005 --> 00:07:37,455
Next up, patient zero.
196
00:07:40,977 --> 00:07:43,728
Lily, we are getting
sloshed tonight.
197
00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:45,797
That's all you, baby.
198
00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:47,732
I'll be four shots in
with no food.
199
00:07:47,734 --> 00:07:50,397
In nine months, I'll be pushing
a pumpkin-headed Eriksen baby
200
00:07:50,422 --> 00:07:51,622
out of my hoo-ha.
201
00:07:52,105 --> 00:07:54,356
I think Papa can manage
a few extra cocktails.
202
00:07:54,358 --> 00:07:56,157
Well played.
203
00:08:00,913 --> 00:08:02,497
Hakuna Matata!
204
00:08:02,499 --> 00:08:05,750
I, uh, I got
to get some air.
205
00:08:07,670 --> 00:08:09,821
Kids, remember how I told you
206
00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:12,073
Marshall ruined
Punchy's wedding?
207
00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:13,341
That wasn't it.
208
00:08:13,343 --> 00:08:15,644
God, will you look
at that guy.
209
00:08:15,646 --> 00:08:18,013
I wish Barney
210
00:08:18,015 --> 00:08:19,381
were my boyfriend again.
211
00:08:19,383 --> 00:08:20,715
No, thanks.
212
00:08:20,717 --> 00:08:22,557
Wait a minute.
That's your truth voice.
213
00:08:22,582 --> 00:08:23,782
My what?
214
00:08:24,354 --> 00:08:26,771
Whenever you're trying to pass
something off as a joke
215
00:08:26,773 --> 00:08:30,125
but it's actually profoundly
true, you use that voice.
216
00:08:30,127 --> 00:08:33,010
I wish the Spice Girls
would get back together.
217
00:08:33,012 --> 00:08:34,646
They were awesome.
218
00:08:34,648 --> 00:08:36,448
The worst.
219
00:08:40,820 --> 00:08:42,871
That was me.
220
00:08:42,873 --> 00:08:45,356
I totally cut one.
221
00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:48,359
That guy.
222
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:50,745
Birthday present
from my dad.
223
00:08:50,747 --> 00:08:51,991
All I really want is for him
224
00:08:52,016 --> 00:08:53,816
to tell me that he loves me.
225
00:08:54,751 --> 00:08:56,084
Just kidding.
226
00:08:56,086 --> 00:08:57,419
This pen's enough.
227
00:08:57,421 --> 00:08:59,203
It's not enough.
228
00:08:59,205 --> 00:09:01,372
It's totally enough.
229
00:09:04,374 --> 00:09:06,309
Oh, my God.
230
00:09:06,311 --> 00:09:09,762
You still have
feelings for Barney.
231
00:09:12,179 --> 00:09:15,446
Admit it, you still have
feelings for Barney.
232
00:09:15,475 --> 00:09:18,376
You are drunker than I thought.
233
00:09:18,378 --> 00:09:19,344
I mean,
234
00:09:19,346 --> 00:09:21,563
look at the guy.
Wait, wait, wait.
235
00:09:21,565 --> 00:09:24,215
Before you go, please answer
the following survey
236
00:09:24,217 --> 00:09:26,268
to help me better
bang you in the future.
237
00:09:26,270 --> 00:09:29,437
What didn't work for you
about this play?
238
00:09:29,439 --> 00:09:30,939
Did you A) not believe
239
00:09:30,941 --> 00:09:33,692
I was a Guinness Book
world record holder?
240
00:09:33,694 --> 00:09:37,329
or B) did the fingernails
gross you out?
241
00:09:37,331 --> 00:09:39,364
Th...
242
00:09:39,366 --> 00:09:41,616
I can't wait for
your toast, Schmosby.
243
00:09:41,618 --> 00:09:44,068
Yeah, here come
the waterworks.
244
00:09:44,070 --> 00:09:46,705
Wait. You're rooting for me to
melt down at your own wedding?
245
00:09:46,707 --> 00:09:48,089
Yeah, everyone is.
246
00:09:48,091 --> 00:09:50,175
Plus a few new friends
from Finland.
247
00:09:53,579 --> 00:09:54,963
Hey, good luck, Schmos.
248
00:09:54,965 --> 00:09:56,798
Good luck, good luck.
249
00:09:56,800 --> 00:09:58,934
Take it.
250
00:09:58,936 --> 00:10:01,186
Show them how awesome you are.
251
00:10:01,188 --> 00:10:05,857
Shamelessly plug yourself,
so you can shamelessly plug,
252
00:10:05,859 --> 00:10:07,976
let's say that.
I told you,
253
00:10:07,978 --> 00:10:09,694
I'm not here to brag, okay?
254
00:10:09,696 --> 00:10:11,029
That's it.
255
00:10:11,031 --> 00:10:13,114
You're too polite to brag.
256
00:10:13,116 --> 00:10:14,866
Well, fine.
257
00:10:14,868 --> 00:10:16,401
Let me.
258
00:10:16,403 --> 00:10:19,537
Because the only person
on Earth
259
00:10:19,539 --> 00:10:21,790
who loves Ted Mosby
more than Marshall Eriksen,
260
00:10:21,792 --> 00:10:24,242
is drunk Marshall Eriksen.
261
00:10:24,244 --> 00:10:25,994
So game on.
262
00:10:31,500 --> 00:10:33,652
Kids, remember how I told you
263
00:10:33,654 --> 00:10:36,187
Marshall ruined Punchy
and Kelly's wedding?
264
00:10:37,673 --> 00:10:39,791
That wasn't it either.
265
00:10:39,793 --> 00:10:42,978
Barney and I tried and failed.
266
00:10:42,980 --> 00:10:44,295
That was two years ago.
267
00:10:44,297 --> 00:10:46,464
Why would I ever
go down that road again?
268
00:10:46,466 --> 00:10:47,899
It wouldn't even
make sense.
269
00:10:47,901 --> 00:10:50,318
It doesn't have to make sense.
It's chemistry.
270
00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:54,272
Look, I've always had a sixth
sense about these things.
271
00:10:54,274 --> 00:10:56,157
And now that I'm pregnant...
272
00:10:56,159 --> 00:10:58,994
with this idea
in my mind-uterus,
273
00:10:58,996 --> 00:11:00,311
I see things
even clearer.
274
00:11:00,313 --> 00:11:03,248
You and Barney have the kind
of chemistry
275
00:11:03,250 --> 00:11:05,583
that just doesn't go away.
276
00:11:05,585 --> 00:11:10,455
Really? Then why is he trying
to LeBron anything that moves?
277
00:11:10,457 --> 00:11:11,673
Did this not work for you
278
00:11:11,675 --> 00:11:13,491
because A) vampires
are played out,
279
00:11:13,493 --> 00:11:16,461
or B) claiming that I also
invented Facebook
280
00:11:16,463 --> 00:11:19,214
was kind of a hat on a hat?
281
00:11:21,150 --> 00:11:22,667
You're the reason
282
00:11:22,669 --> 00:11:24,168
he never called Nora.
283
00:11:24,170 --> 00:11:26,504
You're the reason he's only
test-marketing tonight.
284
00:11:26,506 --> 00:11:28,273
And you're the
reason he keeps
285
00:11:28,275 --> 00:11:30,058
striking out on purpose.
286
00:11:30,060 --> 00:11:31,493
Chemistry.
287
00:11:32,361 --> 00:11:34,896
Whoa! Ted!
288
00:11:34,898 --> 00:11:36,698
Is that really you
289
00:11:36,700 --> 00:11:39,684
on the cover of
New York magazine?
290
00:11:39,686 --> 00:11:41,202
Now, you say "yes""
291
00:11:41,204 --> 00:11:43,321
Please stop.
Schmosby.
292
00:11:43,323 --> 00:11:44,372
What's this about a magazine?
293
00:11:44,374 --> 00:11:46,324
You know what, Clay?
It's no big deal.
294
00:11:46,326 --> 00:11:48,460
You know what?
It is a big deal.
295
00:11:48,462 --> 00:11:53,248
Clay, my friend Ted is
designing a skyscraper, Clay.
296
00:11:53,250 --> 00:11:54,883
What have you been
up to, Clay?
297
00:11:54,885 --> 00:11:57,385
Well, I'm still working
at the rental car company...
298
00:11:57,387 --> 00:11:59,003
Bravo, bravo, Clay.
299
00:11:59,005 --> 00:12:02,039
Any major publications
want to write an article
300
00:12:02,041 --> 00:12:04,059
on your sweet
rental car gig?
301
00:12:04,061 --> 00:12:05,510
No, no articles.
302
00:12:05,512 --> 00:12:06,511
My life's pretty dull.
303
00:12:06,513 --> 00:12:10,715
I guess the only news is
this little gal.
304
00:12:10,717 --> 00:12:13,101
Oh, my God,
wook at the wittle baby.
305
00:12:13,103 --> 00:12:14,853
She is so cute.
306
00:12:14,855 --> 00:12:17,722
All I want to do
is put her little feet
307
00:12:17,724 --> 00:12:20,391
in my mouth.
308
00:12:20,393 --> 00:12:22,560
You've created something
truly beautiful.
309
00:12:22,562 --> 00:12:24,579
She is my everything.
310
00:12:24,581 --> 00:12:28,399
I mean, it's kind
of a big deal...
311
00:12:28,401 --> 00:12:29,734
the building,
you know?
312
00:12:29,736 --> 00:12:31,236
Hey, little one.
313
00:12:31,238 --> 00:12:32,871
So, this little angel's
already sleeping
314
00:12:32,873 --> 00:12:33,905
through the night?
315
00:12:33,907 --> 00:12:35,790
I've had some
sleepless nights...
316
00:12:35,792 --> 00:12:38,676
designing this building.
317
00:12:38,678 --> 00:12:41,179
Aw...
318
00:12:41,181 --> 00:12:43,465
Nothing symbolic
about that.
319
00:12:44,467 --> 00:12:46,050
Let it go.
320
00:12:46,052 --> 00:12:48,636
There is no chemistry left
between me and Barney.
321
00:12:48,638 --> 00:12:49,754
We're done.
322
00:12:49,756 --> 00:12:52,640
Oh really? Prove it.
Go tell him.
323
00:12:52,642 --> 00:12:54,058
Why would I go
tell him that?
324
00:12:54,060 --> 00:12:57,562
Because deep down, even if he
isn't aware of it himself,
325
00:12:57,564 --> 00:12:59,714
Barney wants to be with you.
326
00:12:59,716 --> 00:13:01,149
And if it's not
gonna happen,
327
00:13:01,151 --> 00:13:02,767
he deserves to know.
328
00:13:02,769 --> 00:13:04,085
Fine.
329
00:13:07,189 --> 00:13:10,241
Barney, just so everything
is crystal clear...
330
00:13:10,243 --> 00:13:11,793
I know what you're gonna say.
331
00:13:11,795 --> 00:13:14,796
Let's show Cleveland how
it's done.
332
00:14:37,964 --> 00:14:40,331
Barney... I...
333
00:14:42,201 --> 00:14:44,752
Sorry.
334
00:14:46,722 --> 00:14:49,190
Oh, my God, it's Nora.
335
00:14:54,408 --> 00:14:55,942
Nora's finally
calling me back.
336
00:14:55,944 --> 00:14:57,360
Wait, you said you
never called her.
337
00:14:57,362 --> 00:14:59,579
I lied. I called her,
like, five times.
338
00:14:59,581 --> 00:15:01,164
Wait, wait!
339
00:15:01,166 --> 00:15:03,116
You of all people
know how much
340
00:15:03,118 --> 00:15:06,002
I suck at these things.
You gotta help me. Please?
341
00:15:06,004 --> 00:15:07,203
Just once I would like
342
00:15:07,205 --> 00:15:09,038
to see what it feels like
to not screw things up.
343
00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:11,207
Yeah, mm-hmm.
344
00:15:11,209 --> 00:15:12,658
Okay.
345
00:15:12,660 --> 00:15:15,295
Hey, Nora.
Thanks for calling me back.
346
00:15:15,297 --> 00:15:19,665
Um, hey, hi.
The-the-the reason that, um,
347
00:15:19,667 --> 00:15:21,167
I called is, uh...
348
00:15:21,169 --> 00:15:22,935
To tell you how
I feel about you.
349
00:15:22,937 --> 00:15:24,337
...to tell you how
I feel about you.
350
00:15:24,339 --> 00:15:25,972
I know we didn't work
out the first time...
351
00:15:25,974 --> 00:15:27,807
I know we didn't work out
the first time...
352
00:15:27,809 --> 00:15:29,442
...and I know it doesn't
make any sense...
353
00:15:29,444 --> 00:15:31,227
...and I know it doesn't
make any sense...
354
00:15:31,229 --> 00:15:33,730
...but I can't shake the feeling
that we belong together.
355
00:15:33,732 --> 00:15:35,148
...but I can't shake
this feeling
356
00:15:35,150 --> 00:15:36,232
that we belong together.
357
00:15:36,234 --> 00:15:38,985
Is there any part of you
that wants to try again?
358
00:15:38,987 --> 00:15:41,520
Is there any part of you
that wants to try again?
359
00:15:48,962 --> 00:15:51,280
Baby, I can't take it anymore.
360
00:15:51,282 --> 00:15:53,032
I've gotta tell somebody
that we're pregnant.
361
00:15:53,034 --> 00:15:54,300
Eriksen, stay strong.
362
00:15:54,302 --> 00:15:55,885
We're keeping this secret.
363
00:15:55,887 --> 00:15:57,387
There's babies everywhere.
364
00:15:57,389 --> 00:15:58,971
It's like a minefield
of cuteness.
365
00:15:58,973 --> 00:16:00,473
Look at this little bastard.
366
00:16:00,475 --> 00:16:02,809
Marshall, stop it.
Stay strong.
367
00:16:02,811 --> 00:16:06,212
You can't let holding some,
some little baby...
368
00:16:06,214 --> 00:16:09,315
oh, with the cute
little cheeks
369
00:16:09,317 --> 00:16:11,484
and the... the little arms
370
00:16:11,486 --> 00:16:13,019
and little legs...
371
00:16:13,021 --> 00:16:16,072
This son of a bitch
has knee dimples.
372
00:16:16,074 --> 00:16:17,740
Let's go tell everyone
I'm pregnant.
373
00:16:17,742 --> 00:16:19,192
Yeah!
374
00:16:39,246 --> 00:16:40,346
You okay?
375
00:16:40,348 --> 00:16:41,631
Nope. You?
376
00:16:41,633 --> 00:16:43,800
Not excessively.
377
00:16:43,802 --> 00:16:44,934
You want to talk
about it?
378
00:16:44,936 --> 00:16:46,419
Not even a little.
379
00:16:46,421 --> 00:16:49,555
Might make you feel better.
380
00:16:49,557 --> 00:16:52,442
Okay, fine,
I'll make you a deal:
381
00:16:52,444 --> 00:16:55,945
you go first, and then I'll
stick with my thing
382
00:16:55,947 --> 00:16:57,447
about not talking about it.
383
00:16:57,449 --> 00:16:59,799
Okay.
384
00:17:00,868 --> 00:17:02,068
All my friends from high school,
385
00:17:02,070 --> 00:17:03,870
they're here with their wives,
their kids.
386
00:17:03,872 --> 00:17:07,606
Me? My date for the night
is a sticky magazine.
387
00:17:07,608 --> 00:17:10,159
Sounds like high school
all over again.
388
00:17:10,161 --> 00:17:11,794
Sorry, it was right there.
389
00:17:13,764 --> 00:17:16,666
I used to believe in destiny,
you know?
390
00:17:16,668 --> 00:17:20,586
I'd go to the bagel place,
see a pretty girl in line
391
00:17:20,588 --> 00:17:23,556
reading my favorite novel,
whistling the song
392
00:17:23,558 --> 00:17:25,975
that's been stuck in my head
all week and I'd think,
393
00:17:25,977 --> 00:17:29,262
"Wow. Hey, maybe she's
the one."
394
00:17:29,947 --> 00:17:31,647
Now I think, "I just know
395
00:17:31,649 --> 00:17:32,965
"that bitch is gonna take
396
00:17:32,967 --> 00:17:34,684
the last whole-wheat everything
bagel."
397
00:17:34,686 --> 00:17:37,019
You've just been focused
on work.
398
00:17:37,021 --> 00:17:41,073
No, it's more than that.
399
00:17:41,075 --> 00:17:43,476
I've stopped believing.
400
00:17:44,278 --> 00:17:45,695
Not in some depressed,
401
00:17:45,697 --> 00:17:48,164
"I'm gonna cry
during my toast" way.
402
00:17:48,166 --> 00:17:50,666
Not in a way I even noticed
until tonight.
403
00:17:50,668 --> 00:17:57,156
It's just, every day,
I think I believe a little less
404
00:17:57,158 --> 00:17:59,492
and a little less
and a little less.
405
00:17:59,494 --> 00:18:02,478
And that... sucks.
406
00:18:04,664 --> 00:18:07,633
What do I do
about that, Scherbatsky?
407
00:18:07,635 --> 00:18:09,335
You're Ted Mosby.
408
00:18:09,337 --> 00:18:11,354
You start believing again.
409
00:18:11,356 --> 00:18:14,140
In what, destiny?
410
00:18:14,142 --> 00:18:16,859
Chemistry.
411
00:18:17,961 --> 00:18:20,313
If you have chemistry,
you only need one other thing.
412
00:18:20,315 --> 00:18:21,531
What's that?
413
00:18:21,533 --> 00:18:23,015
Timing.
414
00:18:23,634 --> 00:18:25,685
But timing's a bitch.
415
00:18:28,172 --> 00:18:31,624
Hey, we still have
our 40 deal, right?
416
00:18:31,626 --> 00:18:33,159
If we're both still
single at 40...
417
00:18:33,161 --> 00:18:35,027
I'm all yours.
Hmm
418
00:18:35,029 --> 00:18:38,080
Unrelated, do architects make
big money?
419
00:18:38,082 --> 00:18:40,666
Aggressively
medium money.
420
00:18:40,668 --> 00:18:43,719
Damn it.
421
00:18:43,721 --> 00:18:45,521
Schmosby, you're up
in two minutes.
422
00:18:47,207 --> 00:18:48,558
Okay, promise me two things,
423
00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:50,510
one) you start believing again,
424
00:18:50,512 --> 00:18:54,614
and two) don't cry
during the toast, Schmosby.
425
00:18:54,616 --> 00:18:57,049
I promise.
426
00:18:57,051 --> 00:18:58,818
Good.
427
00:19:01,555 --> 00:19:03,739
We're having a baby.
428
00:19:03,741 --> 00:19:05,408
What, for real?
429
00:19:05,410 --> 00:19:06,526
For real.
430
00:19:06,528 --> 00:19:07,577
Oh!
Oh!
431
00:19:09,697 --> 00:19:11,230
Attention, everyone!
432
00:19:11,232 --> 00:19:13,082
It's time for the reason
we're all here tonight.
433
00:19:13,084 --> 00:19:15,835
Schmosby's toast!
434
00:19:15,837 --> 00:19:18,387
We're here tonight
to celebrate love.
435
00:19:21,693 --> 00:19:23,793
Love brings us new life...
436
00:19:25,263 --> 00:19:26,929
Hey!
437
00:19:30,851 --> 00:19:32,785
This isn't a meltdown.
438
00:19:33,604 --> 00:19:35,638
These are tears of joy.
439
00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:40,092
Ted is happy for his friends
440
00:19:40,094 --> 00:19:43,145
'cause he's the best guy
that I know.
441
00:19:43,147 --> 00:19:44,447
And do you know why he's happy?
442
00:19:44,449 --> 00:19:47,266
Because this beautiful lady
right here is pregnant.
443
00:19:47,268 --> 00:19:48,701
How did you know that?!
444
00:19:48,703 --> 00:19:50,903
That was supposed
to be a secret!
445
00:19:50,905 --> 00:19:53,005
Turns out...
446
00:19:53,007 --> 00:19:53,956
Go Browns!
447
00:19:53,958 --> 00:19:56,325
Go Browns!
Whoo!
448
00:19:56,327 --> 00:19:57,776
In AFC regular season play,
449
00:19:57,778 --> 00:19:59,795
but if they mean the
Super Bowl, go Vikings.
450
00:19:59,797 --> 00:20:01,447
How dare you.
451
00:20:01,449 --> 00:20:03,799
That's my daughter,
you piece of garbage.
452
00:20:03,801 --> 00:20:05,768
You're still gonna pay
for all this, right?
453
00:20:05,770 --> 00:20:08,671
"Piece of garbage"?
That's my son.
454
00:20:08,673 --> 00:20:12,108
And that is how Marshall
destroyed Punchy's wedding.
455
00:20:13,478 --> 00:20:15,461
But we didn't care.
456
00:20:15,463 --> 00:20:19,515
There was gonna be a sixth
member of our little family.
457
00:20:21,368 --> 00:20:23,486
No wedding will ever,
ever be as bad
458
00:20:23,488 --> 00:20:25,771
as that one, right?
459
00:20:25,773 --> 00:20:28,824
I picked the right tie,
didn't I?
460
00:20:28,826 --> 00:20:31,327
You nailed it.
461
00:20:31,329 --> 00:20:34,847
And hey, just be glad
it's not the ducky tie.
462
00:20:34,849 --> 00:20:36,265
Ooh, the ducky tie.
463
00:20:36,267 --> 00:20:38,467
That's a good story kids.
I'll get to that.
464
00:20:38,469 --> 00:20:41,203
Man, we are not even close
to the end.
465
00:20:43,491 --> 00:20:46,058
You're a good
best man, Ted.
466
00:20:47,044 --> 00:20:49,095
You're gonna cry during
the toast, aren't you?
467
00:20:49,097 --> 00:20:49,995
Oh, I'm totally gonna cry.
468
00:20:49,997 --> 00:20:51,881
Come in.
469
00:20:53,717 --> 00:20:55,384
Ted, the bride wants to see you.
470
00:20:56,687 --> 00:20:58,604
Okay.
471
00:21:00,941 --> 00:21:02,608
Really? You're gonna go
with that tie?
31247
