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1
00:00:05,050 --> 00:00:08,310
How is the
French toast?
2
00:00:09,310 --> 00:00:12,870
So good you'll think
you're in Paris.
3
00:00:12,870 --> 00:00:13,890
Really?
4
00:00:13,900 --> 00:00:15,010
Look, this is a diner.
5
00:00:15,010 --> 00:00:16,520
We got an ex-con back there
6
00:00:16,530 --> 00:00:20,530
slinging three-day-old bread
on a dirty grill.
7
00:00:20,530 --> 00:00:24,630
How's
the French toast...
8
00:00:24,630 --> 00:00:26,540
She is not a fan of yours.
9
00:00:26,540 --> 00:00:28,470
She's jumping
on the bandwagon.
10
00:00:28,470 --> 00:00:32,290
We've been there since
the beginning.
11
00:00:32,290 --> 00:00:35,000
Friends, Mr. Dunbar
is right behind me.
12
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:38,710
Oh, please do yourselves a favor
and ask him how his cruise went.
13
00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:43,810
Hey, if it isn't the cast
of "cirque du so lame."
14
00:00:43,810 --> 00:00:44,800
Hey.
15
00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:45,840
So how was your cruise?
16
00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:47,420
Great!
17
00:00:47,430 --> 00:00:48,500
How are you guys?
18
00:00:48,500 --> 00:00:49,540
That's the important thing.
19
00:00:49,540 --> 00:00:51,670
Oh, how is the new job going?
20
00:00:51,680 --> 00:00:53,090
Wait, sir...
21
00:00:53,090 --> 00:00:55,340
Are you sure there's nothing
more you wish to share
22
00:00:55,340 --> 00:00:57,860
about your high seas adventure?
23
00:00:57,860 --> 00:00:59,110
Uh, oh, yeah.
24
00:00:59,110 --> 00:01:00,770
Ran into someone I used to know.
25
00:01:00,770 --> 00:01:02,270
It's actually no big deal.
26
00:01:02,270 --> 00:01:04,520
Hmm...
27
00:01:04,520 --> 00:01:08,600
Well, hello there,
youngish lady.
28
00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:18,030
Well, hello, Russell.
29
00:01:18,040 --> 00:01:21,670
Oh, for sake!
30
00:01:21,670 --> 00:01:23,310
Liz?
31
00:01:23,320 --> 00:01:25,230
God, what a small world.
32
00:01:25,230 --> 00:01:27,980
It's not that small.
Liz fits in it.
33
00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:32,750
Anyway, so that's my story.
34
00:01:32,750 --> 00:01:35,440
Hmm, is it?
35
00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:37,110
Nothing else happened of note?
36
00:01:37,110 --> 00:01:38,150
I told you this in confidence.
37
00:01:38,150 --> 00:01:39,300
You could be fired for this.
38
00:01:39,300 --> 00:01:42,720
I've long since given up
on that fantasy.
39
00:01:42,730 --> 00:01:44,970
You know, if you're not going
to tell it,
40
00:01:44,970 --> 00:01:46,240
I'd be more than happy to--
41
00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:47,650
no, no, no.
Fine, fine, fine, fine.
44
00:01:54,410 --> 00:01:57,750
Liz and I got into a classical
nautical argument which there's
45
00:01:57,750 --> 00:01:59,320
only one way to solve.
46
00:02:03,780 --> 00:02:06,400
You were right, lover.
47
00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:09,390
It was the motion of the ocean.
48
00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:12,920
You see, the size of the ship
has nothing to do with it.
49
00:02:12,920 --> 00:02:14,970
Prove it to me again, sailor.
50
00:02:14,970 --> 00:02:16,100
Oh.
51
00:02:16,100 --> 00:02:17,750
Permission to come aboard?
52
00:02:17,750 --> 00:02:22,240
Granted.
53
00:02:26,900 --> 00:02:28,350
Oh, no thanks.
54
00:02:28,350 --> 00:02:30,640
Can you wrap mine to go,
please?
55
00:02:30,640 --> 00:02:34,660
Just throw mine away.
56
00:02:34,660 --> 00:02:36,340
Well, that's the end
of my story.
57
00:02:36,340 --> 00:02:39,650
Is it?
58
00:02:39,650 --> 00:02:44,090
Is there not just a skosh more?
59
00:02:44,090 --> 00:02:49,170
You know how sometimes you say
something you really don't mean?
60
00:02:49,170 --> 00:02:52,950
Oh, I do.
61
00:02:52,950 --> 00:02:56,280
I now pronounce you
man and wife.
62
00:02:56,281 --> 00:02:57,281
Rules Of Engagement S06E01
"Dirty Talk"
63
00:02:59,282 --> 00:03:03,582
Subtitulos.es
== DIFUNDE LA PALABRA ==
WEB-DL by <3 AWiNTER <3
64
00:03:11,300 --> 00:03:15,910
I only wish I could have been
there to give you away.
65
00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:51,350
So you are married.
66
00:03:51,350 --> 00:03:52,570
To Liz.
67
00:03:52,570 --> 00:03:55,150
Our upstairs neighbor, Liz.
68
00:03:55,150 --> 00:03:56,470
With seven cats.
69
00:03:56,470 --> 00:04:00,330
All of whose names are on her
outgoing message.
70
00:04:00,330 --> 00:04:01,830
Yeah, I mean but listen.
71
00:04:01,830 --> 00:04:06,950
We were so drunk,
it's not like it's real.
72
00:04:06,950 --> 00:04:09,450
There's my hubby.
73
00:04:09,450 --> 00:04:12,500
Look what you bought me.
74
00:04:16,210 --> 00:04:20,010
Here's the receipt.
75
00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:21,330
Congratulations, Liz.
76
00:04:21,330 --> 00:04:25,670
I'm sure you'll be
very... something.
77
00:04:25,670 --> 00:04:27,890
Oh, yes, and we're going to
have so much fun double-dating
78
00:04:27,890 --> 00:04:33,650
now that we've each bagged
our bucks.
79
00:04:33,650 --> 00:04:35,690
Okay...
80
00:04:35,690 --> 00:04:38,810
Not here.
81
00:04:38,810 --> 00:04:41,190
The guy who mops up the vomit.
82
00:04:41,190 --> 00:04:44,570
You might want to keep him
on standby.
83
00:04:44,570 --> 00:04:49,290
Liz, we had fun
on that cruise.
84
00:04:49,300 --> 00:04:51,120
That was a great time.
85
00:04:51,130 --> 00:04:53,460
But this whole marriage thing.
86
00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:55,690
That's--that's just a goof,
right?
87
00:04:55,700 --> 00:04:59,330
You mean a beautiful goof that
will join our lives together
88
00:04:59,330 --> 00:05:02,720
'til the end of time?
89
00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:09,890
I actually meant the other
kind of goof.
90
00:05:09,900 --> 00:05:14,220
Anyway, I was just at the dmv
getting a new license.
91
00:05:14,220 --> 00:05:15,850
Notice anything?
92
00:05:15,850 --> 00:05:20,060
That you lost 20 pounds while
you were there?
93
00:05:20,060 --> 00:05:21,080
No, this.
94
00:05:21,090 --> 00:05:22,120
Ah.
95
00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:25,770
You took Mr. Dunbar's name.
96
00:05:25,780 --> 00:05:26,780
Yep.
97
00:05:26,780 --> 00:05:30,790
Elizabeth kornblatt-Dunbar.
98
00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:31,780
Wow, three names.
99
00:05:31,780 --> 00:05:35,210
I'm like Catherine Zeta-Jones.
100
00:05:35,220 --> 00:05:38,020
In what way, exactly?
101
00:05:38,020 --> 00:05:41,220
LMAO, Jeff.
102
00:05:41,220 --> 00:05:44,350
Anyway, I've got an ingrown
toenail that needs excavating.
103
00:05:44,350 --> 00:05:48,640
So I will swing by your officina
for lunch.
104
00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:49,680
Okay.
105
00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:53,580
Soul mate.
106
00:05:53,590 --> 00:05:56,280
♪ Meow, meow, meow ♪
107
00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:06,450
I cannot believe that Russell
and Liz got married.
108
00:06:06,450 --> 00:06:07,800
I know.
109
00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:11,750
It's hard to figure out
who loses more.
110
00:06:11,750 --> 00:06:12,880
Should we get her something?
111
00:06:12,880 --> 00:06:14,130
Like some kind of basket?
112
00:06:14,130 --> 00:06:15,430
Of what?
113
00:06:15,430 --> 00:06:21,220
Antibiotics and ointments?
114
00:06:21,220 --> 00:06:22,810
Hey, Audrey.
115
00:06:22,810 --> 00:06:26,140
Just going roof-side, do some
reading, catch some rays.
116
00:06:26,150 --> 00:06:28,080
What're you reading?
117
00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:32,560
Um... busted.
118
00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:38,430
I'll see you later.
119
00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,730
Jeff leaves, all I get is
a fist bump and a warning
120
00:06:40,730 --> 00:06:44,600
to avoid the bathroom
for a while.
121
00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:46,660
Well, Adam and I have only
been together
122
00:06:46,660 --> 00:06:48,070
for a couple of years.
123
00:06:48,070 --> 00:06:49,920
Oh, no, Jeff and I were only
together about six months
124
00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:51,780
before he started bringing food
into the bed.
125
00:06:51,790 --> 00:06:54,250
Ooh, like whipped cream
and stuff?
126
00:06:54,260 --> 00:06:58,250
No, like a hoagie.
127
00:06:58,260 --> 00:07:02,550
One more thing for him to finish
before me.
128
00:07:02,550 --> 00:07:03,920
You know what works for us?
129
00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:04,920
Talking dirty.
130
00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:06,820
Does Jeff do that?
131
00:07:06,820 --> 00:07:08,250
God, no.
132
00:07:08,260 --> 00:07:10,190
He's way too repressed.
133
00:07:10,190 --> 00:07:12,430
Although one time he did say
some pretty nasty things
134
00:07:12,430 --> 00:07:17,040
when his hoagie
rolled onto the floor.
135
00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:25,220
Hey.
136
00:07:25,230 --> 00:07:26,170
Hey.
137
00:07:26,180 --> 00:07:27,700
Whatcha doing?
138
00:07:27,700 --> 00:07:32,980
Watchin' the tube, thinking
about having a hoagie.
139
00:07:35,070 --> 00:07:38,170
I have an idea that might make
you re-think that hoagie.
140
00:07:38,170 --> 00:07:43,510
You wanna order up some wings?
141
00:07:43,520 --> 00:07:45,200
No.
142
00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:47,210
I thought maybe
we'd fool around.
143
00:07:47,210 --> 00:07:49,350
Really?
144
00:07:49,350 --> 00:07:50,380
Why not?
145
00:07:50,380 --> 00:07:51,860
I don't know.
146
00:07:51,860 --> 00:07:56,980
You're usually the keeper
of the reasons "why not."
147
00:07:56,980 --> 00:08:00,770
And maybe when we're doing
this, you could uh... you know...
148
00:08:00,770 --> 00:08:03,060
Say some things.
149
00:08:03,060 --> 00:08:04,980
What kind of things?
150
00:08:04,990 --> 00:08:07,240
You know, things about what
we're doing.
151
00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:09,600
Oh, you mean like sex talk.
152
00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:12,090
Yeah.
153
00:08:12,090 --> 00:08:13,420
Well...
154
00:08:13,420 --> 00:08:16,830
You know that I'm not much
of a talker.
155
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:18,900
So, how 'bout we do our thing.
156
00:08:18,900 --> 00:08:23,410
And then afterwards we can have
a brief q & a.
157
00:08:25,930 --> 00:08:27,180
Come on.
158
00:08:27,180 --> 00:08:28,880
Let's mix it up a little, it
might be fun.
159
00:08:28,880 --> 00:08:30,960
All right, hey, I guess
I could give this a shot.
160
00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:35,090
All right.
161
00:08:36,300 --> 00:08:37,360
All right...
162
00:08:37,360 --> 00:08:38,850
Here comes the sex talk.
163
00:08:38,850 --> 00:08:43,150
Yeah, bring it.
164
00:08:43,160 --> 00:08:47,440
I'm doing a little bit of work
up here... on these.
165
00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:50,670
As I'm sure you can attest.
166
00:08:50,670 --> 00:08:54,460
Yes, Jeff.
I can attest.
167
00:08:54,460 --> 00:08:55,950
By the way, you can loosen
your grip.
168
00:08:55,960 --> 00:08:59,590
They're not going to run away.
169
00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:05,460
Got it, well, the plan is to
do a little more work up here.
170
00:09:05,460 --> 00:09:10,150
And then I'm gonna pack it up,
head down South.
171
00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:14,340
Head down South?
172
00:09:14,340 --> 00:09:15,380
Well, if north is your head.
173
00:09:15,390 --> 00:09:17,470
No, no, I get it.
I get it.
174
00:09:17,470 --> 00:09:21,970
Maybe you can, you know,
be a little more specific.
175
00:09:21,980 --> 00:09:23,490
Roger that.
176
00:09:23,490 --> 00:09:27,680
My right hand is on
your right breast.
177
00:09:27,680 --> 00:09:31,670
Well, my right, your left,
but I...
178
00:09:31,680 --> 00:09:32,830
Okay.
179
00:09:32,830 --> 00:09:34,990
- What?
- That was a fun experiment.
180
00:09:34,990 --> 00:09:37,220
That's wasn't what you wanted?
181
00:09:37,220 --> 00:09:41,500
No, no, nobody wants that.
182
00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:46,130
All right.
183
00:09:46,130 --> 00:09:49,460
- Would it be all right...
- Yes, go ahead.
184
00:09:55,160 --> 00:09:58,220
Hey.
185
00:10:04,240 --> 00:10:07,510
What the hell happened to you,
braveheart?
186
00:10:07,510 --> 00:10:08,770
Well, I was tanning
on the roof
187
00:10:08,770 --> 00:10:13,540
and I fell asleep on one side.
188
00:10:13,540 --> 00:10:16,460
Stupid sun.
189
00:10:16,460 --> 00:10:19,360
Not sure it's the sun that comes
off as stupid.
190
00:10:19,360 --> 00:10:24,250
I'm just gonna tan the other
side, even everything out.
191
00:10:24,250 --> 00:10:26,240
Solid plan.
192
00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:27,300
Let me ask you something.
193
00:10:27,300 --> 00:10:28,700
Do you ever talk dirty to Jen?
194
00:10:28,700 --> 00:10:30,160
Oh, yeah.
All the time.
195
00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:31,510
Must be where Audrey got it.
196
00:10:31,510 --> 00:10:33,500
Last night she asked for
dirty talk.
197
00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:37,190
From you?
198
00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:38,200
Well, how'd it go?
199
00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:39,840
Not well.
What do you say?
200
00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:42,150
Oh, man, you say all kinds of
things, you know?
201
00:10:42,150 --> 00:10:45,310
I mean, I tell Jen what I'm
about to do to her.
202
00:10:45,310 --> 00:10:47,980
And then I want her to tell me
what she's gonna do to me.
203
00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:51,070
Using adult language.
204
00:10:51,070 --> 00:10:53,150
Yeah, yeah, man.
She loves it.
205
00:10:53,150 --> 00:10:56,950
Of course she does.
She's filthy.
206
00:10:56,950 --> 00:10:58,700
But Audrey is my wife.
207
00:10:58,700 --> 00:11:00,700
She's going to be the mother
of my child.
208
00:11:00,700 --> 00:11:02,230
Okay, Jeff, you gotta get
over that.
209
00:11:02,230 --> 00:11:04,730
All right,
she obviously wants it.
210
00:11:04,730 --> 00:11:07,570
Just say the dirtiest things
that come to your mind.
211
00:11:07,580 --> 00:11:08,760
Seriously?
212
00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:13,240
Yeah, dude.
Dude, the filthier the better.
213
00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:14,740
Filthier the better,
I'll give it a try.
214
00:11:14,740 --> 00:11:19,210
Okay, hey, try it right now.
215
00:11:19,220 --> 00:11:23,610
Pretend that I'm Audrey.
216
00:11:23,610 --> 00:11:24,960
Okay...
217
00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:26,800
Hey, Audrey, why is your face
two different colors,
218
00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:30,970
you dumbass?
219
00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:37,650
Go into your office.
220
00:11:37,650 --> 00:11:38,620
Why?
221
00:11:38,620 --> 00:11:42,730
Just go.
222
00:11:47,570 --> 00:11:51,120
Oh, hello, man of mine.
223
00:11:51,130 --> 00:11:52,990
Hey...
224
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:54,290
What's that?
225
00:11:54,290 --> 00:11:55,540
What does is it look like,
silly?
226
00:11:55,550 --> 00:11:59,600
It's a provocative photo
of your wife and kids.
227
00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:02,640
I need to lie down.
228
00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:04,180
Well, make it quick.
229
00:12:04,180 --> 00:12:09,050
I've got a honey-do list that's
longer than my left boob.
230
00:12:09,050 --> 00:12:12,640
You know about that, right?
231
00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:16,140
Well, no.
232
00:12:16,150 --> 00:12:18,200
Anyway, I'd love to stay,
but tiffy's at the vet
233
00:12:18,210 --> 00:12:19,780
with volcanic diarrhea.
234
00:12:19,780 --> 00:12:22,830
That was a fun cab ride.
235
00:12:22,830 --> 00:12:25,770
So as they say in Australia,
good day...
236
00:12:25,770 --> 00:12:30,090
Mate!
237
00:12:30,090 --> 00:12:31,870
Timmy, you got to use your
giant brain
238
00:12:31,870 --> 00:12:33,530
and find me a way out of this.
239
00:12:33,530 --> 00:12:35,180
I don't know how, sir.
240
00:12:35,180 --> 00:12:37,470
I believe once a marriage has
been consummated,
241
00:12:37,470 --> 00:12:40,040
it's legally binding.
242
00:12:40,050 --> 00:12:41,960
Wait a second.
243
00:12:41,970 --> 00:12:44,190
Wait a second, it hasn't been
consummated.
244
00:12:44,190 --> 00:12:47,760
You said you bumped uglies
on the boat.
245
00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:53,680
Though, with the two of you that
very well could mean kissing.
246
00:12:53,680 --> 00:12:56,370
I know we did it before the
marriage, but after the ceremony
247
00:12:56,380 --> 00:12:58,120
we both passed out.
248
00:12:58,120 --> 00:13:00,490
There's my loophole.
249
00:13:00,490 --> 00:13:01,950
Where're you going, sir?
250
00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:04,770
To end this marriage.
251
00:13:06,910 --> 00:13:10,720
It's gonna be tough
on the children.
252
00:13:10,720 --> 00:13:15,560
But I'm sure they'll land
on their feet.
253
00:13:15,560 --> 00:13:18,380
Ah, it's a shame no one was
around to hear that.
254
00:13:40,430 --> 00:13:42,710
Ah, yes, mm-hmm.
255
00:13:42,710 --> 00:13:44,900
What's going on?
256
00:13:44,900 --> 00:13:46,280
Well, I was just thinking
257
00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:50,440
we could give that sexy talk
another shot.
258
00:13:50,450 --> 00:13:51,990
Really?
259
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:53,820
'Cause last night you seemed
kinda uncomfortable with it.
260
00:13:53,820 --> 00:13:55,280
Caught me off guard,
I've regrouped,
261
00:13:55,280 --> 00:13:59,280
I'm ready to take another run.
262
00:13:59,280 --> 00:14:02,130
Okay.
263
00:14:02,130 --> 00:14:03,840
Why don't you give me
a little preview.
264
00:14:03,850 --> 00:14:06,220
Sure, and I'd like to start
by saying that you, my lady,
265
00:14:06,220 --> 00:14:08,050
are a...
266
00:14:08,050 --> 00:14:11,640
What?
267
00:14:11,640 --> 00:14:13,930
Oh, you like that.
268
00:14:13,930 --> 00:14:16,080
No, God, no.
I hate that word.
269
00:14:16,080 --> 00:14:19,310
Every woman hates that word.
270
00:14:19,310 --> 00:14:22,930
It was the filthiest thing
I could think of.
271
00:14:22,930 --> 00:14:24,570
Adam told me to go super dirty.
272
00:14:24,570 --> 00:14:25,980
Adam?
273
00:14:25,980 --> 00:14:30,230
You took advice from a man who
was outsmarted by the sun?
274
00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:33,560
You know what, just forget it.
275
00:14:33,560 --> 00:14:36,290
We'll just go back to the pawing
and the grunting
276
00:14:36,290 --> 00:14:39,460
all leading up to
the hoagie eating.
277
00:14:39,460 --> 00:14:42,500
Hey, you are the one who said
you wanted me to talk dirty.
278
00:14:42,500 --> 00:14:45,890
Jeff, I meant fun,
sexy dirty.
279
00:14:45,890 --> 00:14:49,760
Not misogynist
with tourette's dirty.
280
00:14:54,460 --> 00:14:57,760
Hello, Liz.
I think we need to talk.
281
00:14:57,760 --> 00:14:58,790
You're late for dinner, honey.
282
00:14:58,790 --> 00:15:00,130
We waited as long as we could.
283
00:15:00,130 --> 00:15:03,520
Oh, yuck.
284
00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:04,800
Kids...
285
00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:07,600
Can mommy and daddy have
a moment?
286
00:15:13,100 --> 00:15:15,070
Liz, um...
287
00:15:15,070 --> 00:15:16,670
I'll get right to the point.
288
00:15:16,670 --> 00:15:18,660
I'd like an annulment.
289
00:15:18,660 --> 00:15:21,550
No, you can't do that.
290
00:15:21,550 --> 00:15:23,040
Actually, I can.
291
00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:25,210
Uh, there's a loophole.
292
00:15:25,210 --> 00:15:28,210
And it turns out if the marriage
hasn't been consummated,
293
00:15:28,210 --> 00:15:31,020
it can be annulled.
294
00:15:31,020 --> 00:15:34,330
Oh...
295
00:15:34,330 --> 00:15:36,880
This is a lot take in.
296
00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:42,850
I'm gonna make myself some tea.
297
00:15:42,850 --> 00:15:44,060
Liz...
298
00:15:44,070 --> 00:15:46,030
I'm sorry.
299
00:15:46,030 --> 00:15:48,840
I know this is hitting you
pretty hard.
300
00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:51,860
But I just think that--
301
00:15:51,860 --> 00:15:53,900
whoa.
302
00:15:53,900 --> 00:15:58,520
Penny for your thoughts.
303
00:15:58,520 --> 00:16:00,120
Oh, I know what
you're doing here.
304
00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:01,460
It's not going to work.
305
00:16:01,460 --> 00:16:02,950
Sorry.
306
00:16:02,950 --> 00:16:08,260
We need another loophole.
307
00:16:08,260 --> 00:16:10,300
Oh, sir.
308
00:16:10,300 --> 00:16:13,530
I just... I lose all control
around an attractive woman.
309
00:16:13,530 --> 00:16:17,300
Uh, and how does that
apply to Liz?
310
00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:18,700
Sir, that's my wife you're
speaking--
311
00:16:18,700 --> 00:16:20,980
eh, you're right.
312
00:16:20,990 --> 00:16:22,230
You're right.
313
00:16:22,230 --> 00:16:26,830
She looks like a potato balanced
on two bratwursts.
314
00:16:26,830 --> 00:16:30,880
But damn it, there's something
about that woman.
315
00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:32,450
Sir...
316
00:16:32,450 --> 00:16:35,160
I realize you're attracted to
her in what seems like a very
317
00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:39,030
oktoberfest kind of way.
318
00:16:39,030 --> 00:16:40,830
But for God's sake just
talk to her.
319
00:16:40,830 --> 00:16:43,060
I'm sure she'll be reasonable
if you tell her firmly
320
00:16:43,070 --> 00:16:45,920
and decisively
that you want out.
321
00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:47,630
Yeah...
322
00:16:47,630 --> 00:16:49,180
You know what, you're right.
That'll work.
323
00:16:49,180 --> 00:16:52,950
That'll work as long as I can
resist having sex with her.
324
00:16:52,950 --> 00:16:54,010
You can do it, sir.
325
00:16:54,010 --> 00:16:56,250
Of course I can.
326
00:16:56,250 --> 00:16:59,940
Just in case, I'll pound one out
in the cab on the way over.
327
00:17:05,310 --> 00:17:08,430
Look, I'm sorry for what I said,
I just--I love you.
328
00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:12,010
If this dirty talk is something
you want, I want to do it.
329
00:17:12,010 --> 00:17:14,460
You really don't have to.
330
00:17:14,460 --> 00:17:20,290
But I want to,
you sexy piece of wife.
331
00:17:26,980 --> 00:17:29,170
All right, I see you're not
going to let this go.
332
00:17:29,170 --> 00:17:31,020
One last try.
333
00:17:31,020 --> 00:17:33,950
Great.
334
00:17:36,050 --> 00:17:40,180
Maybe you could help us
get started.
335
00:17:40,180 --> 00:17:41,510
Okay.
336
00:17:41,510 --> 00:17:47,180
Just take a deep breath and just
try to let go, okay?
337
00:17:52,060 --> 00:17:53,140
There you go.
338
00:17:53,140 --> 00:17:54,610
What about this?
339
00:17:54,610 --> 00:17:56,820
You are so damn sexy.
340
00:17:56,830 --> 00:17:58,840
Mm, good.
341
00:17:58,840 --> 00:18:00,070
What else?
342
00:18:00,070 --> 00:18:01,580
Mm...
343
00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:03,340
Well...
344
00:18:03,340 --> 00:18:06,840
No, no, no, just whatever
comes into your head.
345
00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:09,370
Just say it.
346
00:18:09,370 --> 00:18:10,380
There's no way in hell
your parents
347
00:18:10,380 --> 00:18:13,150
are staying with us
this Christmas.
348
00:18:23,540 --> 00:18:26,390
Russell?
349
00:18:26,390 --> 00:18:28,830
That's right, it's me.
350
00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:31,330
Why are you wearing
a sleep mask?
351
00:18:31,330 --> 00:18:33,130
Because, Liz, I came here
to lay down the law,
352
00:18:33,140 --> 00:18:38,290
and I don't want any of your
visual distractions.
353
00:18:38,290 --> 00:18:40,230
Well, that's a shame.
354
00:18:40,230 --> 00:18:42,980
I just got back from tar- Jay,
and I'm rocking a sheer top
355
00:18:42,980 --> 00:18:46,070
and a sensible new brassiere.
356
00:18:46,070 --> 00:18:49,020
Really?
357
00:18:49,020 --> 00:18:51,240
Nope!
358
00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:52,920
No, I've gotta be strong.
359
00:18:52,920 --> 00:18:54,200
And here's the deal.
360
00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:56,690
Liz, I don't want to be married
to you any more.
361
00:18:56,700 --> 00:18:58,710
And I'm sorry,
I know that stings.
362
00:18:58,710 --> 00:19:01,540
But I want you to grant me
a divorce right now.
363
00:19:01,540 --> 00:19:02,800
No, no, the lamp stays here.
364
00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:03,920
What're you talking about?
365
00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:04,970
I was just talking
to the movers.
366
00:19:04,970 --> 00:19:07,140
Now go on,
what were you saying?
367
00:19:07,140 --> 00:19:08,390
I'm saying I'm putting
my foot down.
368
00:19:08,390 --> 00:19:11,010
This is a sham, obviously
we made a mistake--
369
00:19:11,010 --> 00:19:13,800
what movers?
You're moving where?
370
00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:17,550
In with my hubby, silly.
371
00:19:17,550 --> 00:19:19,600
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
No, no, no.
372
00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:21,240
No, no, guys, no one's moving
anywhere.
373
00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:22,670
This has gone on long enough.
374
00:19:22,670 --> 00:19:24,060
Listen--
375
00:19:24,060 --> 00:19:27,580
oh, that is sheer.
376
00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:37,980
You, uh...
377
00:19:37,980 --> 00:19:40,690
Give my best to the missus.
378
00:19:47,250 --> 00:19:48,700
Again, I'm sorry about
the other night.
379
00:19:48,700 --> 00:19:51,300
The thing about your parents
just slipped out.
380
00:19:51,310 --> 00:19:54,840
Is that really what's on your
mind when we're having sex?
381
00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:58,410
Well, to be honest, sometimes
I think about your parents
382
00:19:58,420 --> 00:20:02,350
to make it last longer.
383
00:20:02,350 --> 00:20:04,600
Seriously, I don't get the
appeal of talking during sex.
384
00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:06,450
Well, I guess it's not
for everyone.
385
00:20:06,450 --> 00:20:09,930
But Jen and Adam seem
to like it.
386
00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:17,480
My God, you look like
a lobster.
387
00:20:17,490 --> 00:20:18,550
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
388
00:20:18,560 --> 00:20:21,600
In what way?
389
00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:24,110
All right, just come here and
let me put some aloe on it.
390
00:20:24,110 --> 00:20:25,990
No, no, no, no, touching it
is going to hurt.
391
00:20:25,990 --> 00:20:28,000
I'm in so much pain already.
392
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:29,240
Don't be such a baby.
393
00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:32,280
It's supposed to cool you down.
394
00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:33,920
Ah!
Stop!
395
00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:39,010
Stop.
That hurts like hell.
396
00:20:39,010 --> 00:20:41,010
Ah!
Be careful!
397
00:20:41,010 --> 00:20:45,030
Stop squirming!
Just shut up and take it!
398
00:20:45,030 --> 00:20:47,720
Just do it fast.
It really hurts.
399
00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:49,930
Well, if you don't relax,
it'll hurt even more.
400
00:20:49,930 --> 00:20:54,940
Tomorrow, you won't be
able to walk.
401
00:20:54,940 --> 00:20:58,110
I don't get it either.
402
00:20:58,110 --> 00:20:59,430
Jim!
403
00:20:59,430 --> 00:21:03,490
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