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1
00:00:02,602 --> 00:00:05,069
Ah. Yeah, that's so good.
2
00:00:05,071 --> 00:00:07,105
My back feels like jelly.
3
00:00:07,107 --> 00:00:09,441
Kind of looks like jelly too.
4
00:00:09,443 --> 00:00:11,910
We can't keep so much
chocolate around the house.
5
00:00:11,912 --> 00:00:13,712
Oh, what can I say, honey?
6
00:00:13,714 --> 00:00:15,697
I had a great Halloween.
7
00:00:15,699 --> 00:00:18,533
Something not said
by most adults.
8
00:00:18,535 --> 00:00:21,135
Okay, your half hour's up.
Time to switch.
9
00:00:21,137 --> 00:00:22,804
Okay.
10
00:00:22,806 --> 00:00:26,240
My shoulders have been
so tight lately.
11
00:00:27,343 --> 00:00:28,576
Mm...
12
00:00:28,578 --> 00:00:29,644
Ah.
13
00:00:29,646 --> 00:00:32,731
Oh, that feels so good.
14
00:00:32,733 --> 00:00:34,499
No, wait, what are you doing?
15
00:00:34,501 --> 00:00:35,600
I think you know.
16
00:00:35,602 --> 00:00:39,438
No. Don't stop the massage.
17
00:00:42,958 --> 00:00:44,225
Adam.
18
00:00:44,227 --> 00:00:45,860
I'm not holding
any tension in those.
19
00:00:45,862 --> 00:00:46,861
Oh.
20
00:00:47,964 --> 00:00:50,799
Ten seconds that massage lasted
21
00:00:50,801 --> 00:00:52,784
before he started
wildly humping me.
22
00:00:52,786 --> 00:00:55,954
You got a whole 10 seconds?
23
00:00:55,956 --> 00:00:57,572
What do you mean?
24
00:00:57,574 --> 00:00:59,107
I mean every man turns a massage
25
00:00:59,109 --> 00:01:02,244
into sex as fast as they can.
26
00:01:02,246 --> 00:01:05,247
Some of Jeff's
burps last longer.
27
00:01:05,249 --> 00:01:07,632
Longer than his massages or sex?
28
00:01:08,700 --> 00:01:10,135
Yes.
29
00:01:10,137 --> 00:01:11,686
Well, I'm not buying it.
30
00:01:11,688 --> 00:01:13,688
I refuse to accept
that a woman can't get
31
00:01:13,690 --> 00:01:15,690
a simple backrub from
the man she loves.
32
00:01:15,692 --> 00:01:17,375
Uh-huh. Hey, Doreen.
Hm?
33
00:01:17,377 --> 00:01:19,327
Your husband ever give
you a massage?
34
00:01:19,329 --> 00:01:21,312
Sure. How do you think
I got four kids?
35
00:01:24,368 --> 00:01:27,303
♪ How many ways
To say, "I love you?" ♪
36
00:01:29,255 --> 00:01:34,410
♪ How many ways
To say that I'm not scared? ♪
37
00:01:34,412 --> 00:01:36,912
♪ With you by my side ♪
38
00:01:36,914 --> 00:01:39,065
♪ There is no denyin' ♪
39
00:01:39,067 --> 00:01:42,267
♪ I can't wait
For me and you ♪
40
00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:55,948
Hey.
41
00:01:57,684 --> 00:01:59,301
Uh, Russell's not here?
42
00:01:59,303 --> 00:02:01,403
Should be any minute.
43
00:02:15,151 --> 00:02:16,418
What's your deal?
44
00:02:16,420 --> 00:02:19,705
I'm...
45
00:02:19,707 --> 00:02:21,473
How... ? How do you mean?
46
00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:25,961
I don't know, you talk one way,
but you look another, so...
47
00:02:27,647 --> 00:02:29,815
I don't know what's going on.
48
00:02:30,968 --> 00:02:32,835
Mr. Dunbar, over here.
Please, hurry.
49
00:02:35,705 --> 00:02:38,406
Ah, what's going on there,
C-3PO?
50
00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:39,407
Chewbacca.
51
00:02:41,461 --> 00:02:42,561
What's that?
52
00:02:42,563 --> 00:02:43,628
Oh.
53
00:02:43,630 --> 00:02:45,497
This is a cricket video game
54
00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:47,699
my cousin sent me
from South Africa.
55
00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:49,902
Why? Is it not
legal in the U.S.?
56
00:02:49,904 --> 00:02:53,272
You gotta get it
on the geek market?
57
00:02:53,274 --> 00:02:54,740
Nothing geeky about it.
58
00:02:54,742 --> 00:02:56,959
Cricket is
a tremendously exciting sport.
59
00:02:56,961 --> 00:02:59,144
Sport?
Isn't it that game they play
60
00:02:59,146 --> 00:03:01,146
in all those Harry Potter books?
61
00:03:01,148 --> 00:03:02,981
No, actually that's Quidditch,
62
00:03:02,983 --> 00:03:05,684
and you can only play it if
you're a witch or a wizard.
63
00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:07,286
And it wasn't in all the books,
64
00:03:07,288 --> 00:03:09,538
it wasn't in the seventh
one at all.
65
00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:13,592
And I'm the geek.
66
00:03:13,594 --> 00:03:15,845
I'll have you know
cricket is among
67
00:03:15,847 --> 00:03:17,679
the most popular sports
in the world.
68
00:03:17,681 --> 00:03:21,801
Heh. The guy on the box
is wearing a sweater.
69
00:03:21,803 --> 00:03:25,805
Oh, Mummy, I'm
playing cricket and it's ever so chilly.
70
00:03:25,807 --> 00:03:29,658
Well, I see the ugly
American has weighed in.
71
00:03:31,244 --> 00:03:34,063
At about 20 pounds more than
most doctors would recommend.
72
00:03:35,381 --> 00:03:37,867
Ka-boom.
73
00:03:37,869 --> 00:03:42,004
I'm sorry that we can't all have
that ropey, underfed look.
74
00:03:42,006 --> 00:03:44,673
A dunk.
75
00:03:44,675 --> 00:03:46,075
Oh, look, there's a warning:
76
00:03:46,077 --> 00:03:48,977
"Not suitable for anyone
who wants to get laid."
77
00:03:50,513 --> 00:03:54,116
Windmill jam.
78
00:03:54,118 --> 00:03:55,317
Heh.
79
00:03:55,319 --> 00:03:57,753
So typical.
80
00:03:57,755 --> 00:04:01,423
You can't do it, so you mock it.
81
00:04:02,575 --> 00:04:04,343
Oh, I could do it.
82
00:04:04,345 --> 00:04:06,044
Hm.
83
00:04:06,046 --> 00:04:11,833
Well, then why don't you
come on over, and we'll play?
84
00:04:11,835 --> 00:04:14,320
Oh, I have to see this.
85
00:04:14,322 --> 00:04:16,188
All right, fine. We'll call it:
86
00:04:16,190 --> 00:04:18,741
America versus...
87
00:04:18,743 --> 00:04:22,260
whatever other crappy
countries play cricket.
88
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,780
The rest of them.
89
00:04:24,782 --> 00:04:29,517
Are you sure you wanna invite
the wrath of God into your home?
90
00:04:29,519 --> 00:04:34,423
Two words: Bring it.
91
00:04:36,710 --> 00:04:38,727
And come hungry,
I'll make kebabs.
92
00:04:44,667 --> 00:04:47,403
Wow.
Would you look at him.
93
00:04:47,405 --> 00:04:50,839
How lucky is that mail cart?
94
00:04:50,841 --> 00:04:53,659
Ha-ha. What, you want
that guy to push you?
95
00:04:53,661 --> 00:04:57,913
Push, pull, lick.
His call.
96
00:04:57,915 --> 00:05:00,249
Oh, my God, I know him.
97
00:05:00,251 --> 00:05:03,051
He interviewed for a position
as my assistant last week.
98
00:05:03,053 --> 00:05:04,636
I got a position
I'd like to offer him.
99
00:05:06,540 --> 00:05:07,790
I gotta see him every day?
100
00:05:07,792 --> 00:05:10,826
I hope this isn't
gonna be awkward.
101
00:05:10,828 --> 00:05:13,612
Holy crap. Look at him.
102
00:05:13,614 --> 00:05:14,913
Does anybody have a razor?
103
00:05:14,915 --> 00:05:17,833
I need to shave my legs.
104
00:05:17,835 --> 00:05:19,868
I'm looking for Tracy Sutter.
105
00:05:19,870 --> 00:05:21,036
Oh, that's me.
106
00:05:21,038 --> 00:05:24,539
I won.
107
00:05:24,541 --> 00:05:25,874
I'm Tracy.
108
00:05:25,876 --> 00:05:27,442
These are for you.
109
00:05:27,444 --> 00:05:28,510
Hm.
110
00:05:28,512 --> 00:05:32,781
Uh, Laura Foley.
Ms. Laura Foley, single.
111
00:05:32,783 --> 00:05:34,716
Nice to meet you.
I'm Ryan.
112
00:05:34,718 --> 00:05:37,219
Let's see. I know I have
something for you here.
113
00:05:37,221 --> 00:05:42,224
I am very excited to receive it.
114
00:05:42,226 --> 00:05:43,959
Hi. Audrey Bingham.
115
00:05:43,961 --> 00:05:45,210
We met last week.
116
00:05:45,212 --> 00:05:46,294
I remember.
117
00:05:46,296 --> 00:05:48,663
Nice to meet you.
118
00:05:48,665 --> 00:05:50,532
Yeah, you too, thanks.
119
00:05:50,534 --> 00:05:53,568
Bingo.
120
00:05:53,570 --> 00:05:55,821
Well, okay, so it is awkward.
121
00:05:55,823 --> 00:05:57,406
I'm gonna have to do something
122
00:05:57,408 --> 00:05:59,274
to make things more comfortable.
123
00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:02,827
I know what I would do...
I could make things real...
124
00:06:02,829 --> 00:06:05,631
Oh, ladies, get a grip.
125
00:06:10,820 --> 00:06:11,920
Hey.
126
00:06:11,922 --> 00:06:13,221
Oh, hey.
127
00:06:13,223 --> 00:06:15,040
Feel like trading massages?
128
00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:18,360
Definitely. I hate reading.
129
00:06:18,362 --> 00:06:19,627
Oh, no, no, no.
130
00:06:19,629 --> 00:06:22,331
Today, I wanna go first.
131
00:06:22,333 --> 00:06:24,233
I bet you do.
132
00:06:24,235 --> 00:06:26,818
No. I want a real massage.
133
00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:29,655
For a half hour with no touching
of my bathing suit areas.
134
00:06:29,657 --> 00:06:32,791
But that just leaves the rest.
135
00:06:32,793 --> 00:06:36,111
Look, I like doing all that
stuff with you...
136
00:06:36,113 --> 00:06:37,295
Ha-ha! Yeah.
137
00:06:37,297 --> 00:06:40,733
But I also love a massage.
138
00:06:40,735 --> 00:06:43,468
So today we're gonna try
no sex, just massage.
139
00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:49,775
I'd rather read.
140
00:06:53,146 --> 00:06:54,913
So, what you wanna
do this weekend?
141
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:57,549
I kind of wanna find a fair.
142
00:06:57,551 --> 00:06:59,785
One with corn dogs.
143
00:06:59,787 --> 00:07:03,205
You know, Adam,
the best masseuses
144
00:07:03,207 --> 00:07:04,657
don't talk to their clients,
145
00:07:04,659 --> 00:07:06,959
they concentrate
on giving the massage.
146
00:07:06,961 --> 00:07:08,377
Sorry.
147
00:07:18,588 --> 00:07:21,306
And now back to Shark Week.
148
00:07:21,308 --> 00:07:23,191
Oh, my God!
149
00:07:23,193 --> 00:07:25,294
You can't do
this one thing for me
150
00:07:25,296 --> 00:07:26,645
without the promise of sex.
151
00:07:26,647 --> 00:07:28,597
Honey, it doesn't have
to be "sex" sex.
152
00:07:28,599 --> 00:07:29,965
It can be the other thing.
153
00:07:29,967 --> 00:07:32,568
That's still sex!
154
00:07:32,570 --> 00:07:36,337
Yeah, it is.
155
00:07:42,245 --> 00:07:44,680
God, Ryan keeps giving
me dirty looks.
156
00:07:44,682 --> 00:07:47,216
I wish he'd give
me something dirty.
157
00:07:47,218 --> 00:07:50,085
Will you stop? You are at happy
hour with your co-workers,
158
00:07:50,087 --> 00:07:52,454
not Spring Break
at Señor Frog's.
159
00:07:52,456 --> 00:07:55,074
Those were good days.
160
00:07:55,076 --> 00:07:56,909
All right.
This is ridiculous.
161
00:07:56,911 --> 00:07:59,245
I'm gonna go over there
and straighten it out.
162
00:07:59,247 --> 00:08:00,980
Oh, do you mind if I come with?
163
00:08:00,982 --> 00:08:03,282
I'd like to smell him.
164
00:08:03,284 --> 00:08:06,118
Casually mention that I have
a background in burlesque.
165
00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:07,686
No.
166
00:08:07,688 --> 00:08:08,820
Really?
167
00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:10,923
Get me drunk
and ask me about Tokyo.
168
00:08:14,345 --> 00:08:15,577
Hi.
169
00:08:15,579 --> 00:08:16,812
Hi.
170
00:08:16,814 --> 00:08:18,113
Listen, um,
171
00:08:18,115 --> 00:08:19,948
we're gonna be working together.
172
00:08:19,950 --> 00:08:21,516
I'd really like to clear
things up.
173
00:08:21,518 --> 00:08:24,520
I feel like you're mad at me
because I didn't hire you.
174
00:08:24,522 --> 00:08:26,821
But the thing is it wasn't
anything personal,
175
00:08:26,823 --> 00:08:29,124
it was just there were
a lot of good candidates
176
00:08:29,126 --> 00:08:30,725
and I had to make a choice.
177
00:08:30,727 --> 00:08:32,278
You're young, you're smart,
178
00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:34,880
you're nice-looking. You might
be in the mailroom now,
179
00:08:34,882 --> 00:08:36,581
but trust me,
you're gonna go far.
180
00:08:36,583 --> 00:08:38,083
You really think so?
181
00:08:38,085 --> 00:08:39,634
No. I know so.
182
00:08:39,636 --> 00:08:42,070
So come on. Can we just
put everything behind us
183
00:08:42,072 --> 00:08:43,289
and start fresh?
184
00:08:44,959 --> 00:08:47,626
Well, okay.
185
00:08:48,744 --> 00:08:50,963
Come on.
186
00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:54,199
Yeah, yeah.
187
00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:55,600
Go. Go.
188
00:08:57,737 --> 00:08:59,537
Oh, there's my beer.
189
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:01,240
Oh, hey, put that on my tab.
190
00:09:01,242 --> 00:09:02,257
That's okay.
191
00:09:02,259 --> 00:09:05,176
Hey, don't argue with the boss.
192
00:09:07,447 --> 00:09:09,648
So how'd it go?
All better.
193
00:09:09,650 --> 00:09:11,817
I am such a people person.
194
00:09:11,819 --> 00:09:14,686
He filed a sexual
harassment claim?
195
00:09:14,688 --> 00:09:17,172
Yes. Yes.
Against me?
196
00:09:17,174 --> 00:09:19,257
Just this morning
Tracy and Laura,
197
00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:23,128
who I'm pretty sure was some
sort of sex worker in Japan,
198
00:09:23,130 --> 00:09:25,430
tried to coerce him
into a game of strip poker.
199
00:09:25,432 --> 00:09:26,815
They weren't mentioned.
200
00:09:26,817 --> 00:09:29,618
You've gotta be kidding me.
201
00:09:29,620 --> 00:09:31,887
No. I don't do that.
202
00:09:39,830 --> 00:09:41,915
"...unwanted physical
interaction,
203
00:09:41,917 --> 00:09:44,551
"uninvited comments
about his appearance,
204
00:09:44,553 --> 00:09:45,519
"giving him alcohol
205
00:09:45,521 --> 00:09:47,287
"and implying
that his compliance
206
00:09:47,289 --> 00:09:49,623
was tied to his future
at the company."
207
00:09:50,509 --> 00:09:53,728
That's my gal.
208
00:09:53,730 --> 00:09:55,696
God, I can't believe
I got called into
209
00:09:55,698 --> 00:09:58,065
the Human Resource
director's office.
210
00:09:58,067 --> 00:09:59,500
It's so humiliating.
211
00:09:59,502 --> 00:10:01,652
I know, but you know what else:
212
00:10:01,654 --> 00:10:04,722
I still haven't gotten
a massage from Adam.
213
00:10:04,724 --> 00:10:06,840
Because that's the same thing.
214
00:10:06,842 --> 00:10:08,926
Why are you getting
a massage from Adam?
215
00:10:08,928 --> 00:10:11,795
Clearly Audrey's the handsy
one around here.
216
00:10:11,797 --> 00:10:14,664
Thank you for your support.
217
00:10:14,666 --> 00:10:16,233
It's just so frustrating.
218
00:10:16,235 --> 00:10:18,435
I mean, I did nothing wrong.
219
00:10:18,437 --> 00:10:20,804
I am sure if Ryan
and I could just talk...
220
00:10:20,806 --> 00:10:22,656
No.
Yeah, everything would be fine.
221
00:10:22,658 --> 00:10:23,757
No, it wouldn't.
222
00:10:23,759 --> 00:10:26,060
Look, this guy is clearly
a vindictive type.
223
00:10:26,062 --> 00:10:27,995
Just stay away,
let the truth come out.
224
00:10:27,997 --> 00:10:31,565
Look, I can
work this whole thing out,
225
00:10:31,567 --> 00:10:33,400
I'm a people person.
226
00:10:34,519 --> 00:10:36,153
You are?
227
00:10:37,522 --> 00:10:39,323
Yes.
Audrey.
228
00:10:39,325 --> 00:10:42,108
I think we're overlooking
a valuable resource here.
229
00:10:42,110 --> 00:10:44,978
We happen to have years
of sexual harassment experience
230
00:10:44,980 --> 00:10:48,449
right here with us.
231
00:10:48,451 --> 00:10:51,885
Thanks, Jen,
I'll take it from here.
232
00:10:51,887 --> 00:10:53,320
Nice cans, by the way.
233
00:10:54,823 --> 00:10:57,558
The first thing you do
is create a gray area.
234
00:10:57,560 --> 00:11:00,627
Harassment likes facts,
not doubt.
235
00:11:00,629 --> 00:11:03,397
Next, get your hands
on some hush money,
236
00:11:03,399 --> 00:11:04,998
then go to your dad's office,
237
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:08,201
tell him you're gonna
lay low for a few weeks.
238
00:11:08,203 --> 00:11:11,171
My dad doesn't own
the company, Russell.
239
00:11:11,173 --> 00:11:13,540
Then you're totally boned.
240
00:11:15,010 --> 00:11:18,012
But on the bright
side, nice cans.
241
00:11:23,101 --> 00:11:26,036
Oh! That was a wicked googly
if I do say so myself.
242
00:11:27,488 --> 00:11:30,874
Don't say so yourself.
Say real things.
243
00:11:30,876 --> 00:11:34,862
Get set. Here comes
an absolute jaffa.
244
00:11:34,864 --> 00:11:37,297
Oh! Swing and a miss!
245
00:11:37,299 --> 00:11:39,233
I was down.
You're out for a duck.
246
00:11:39,235 --> 00:11:40,600
Heh-heh.
247
00:11:40,602 --> 00:11:42,887
Yeah, you're out for a duck.
248
00:11:42,889 --> 00:11:45,389
You don't even know
what that means.
249
00:11:45,391 --> 00:11:48,075
I know I'm not out for a duck.
250
00:11:48,077 --> 00:11:51,595
Well, I don't think
we need to continue this.
251
00:11:51,597 --> 00:11:53,347
Sorry, America,
but it looks as though
252
00:11:53,349 --> 00:11:56,233
the rest of the world
has triumphed.
253
00:11:56,235 --> 00:11:58,919
You've brought
so much shame to our country.
254
00:11:58,921 --> 00:12:01,721
Look, playing this video game
proves nothing.
255
00:12:01,723 --> 00:12:04,058
It's not like
we're playing the actual game.
256
00:12:04,060 --> 00:12:06,494
Wait, wait, wait.
257
00:12:06,496 --> 00:12:08,295
You're saying you would beat me
258
00:12:08,297 --> 00:12:10,063
if we played
a real game of cricket?
259
00:12:10,065 --> 00:12:12,265
If it involves
a bat and a ball,
260
00:12:12,267 --> 00:12:15,969
and even a hint
of testosterone,
261
00:12:15,971 --> 00:12:18,588
I win, you lose.
262
00:12:18,590 --> 00:12:21,425
I'll have you know
that back home in South Africa
263
00:12:21,427 --> 00:12:22,759
I was such a fast bowler,
264
00:12:22,761 --> 00:12:25,245
I was known as
the Cape Town Express.
265
00:12:25,247 --> 00:12:28,065
Hm, it sounds like
a stomach virus I had.
266
00:12:28,067 --> 00:12:31,001
Fine. Here's a thought:
Timmy, you're a dork
267
00:12:31,003 --> 00:12:32,936
who actually owns
cricket equipment.
268
00:12:32,938 --> 00:12:35,021
Jeff, you're
a stubborn blockhead
269
00:12:35,023 --> 00:12:36,423
who would actually play him.
270
00:12:36,425 --> 00:12:37,991
I'd play.
As would I.
271
00:12:37,993 --> 00:12:39,810
Well, this works
out perfectly then.
272
00:12:39,812 --> 00:12:43,179
You two are idiots
and I'm bored. Let's do this.
273
00:12:43,181 --> 00:12:44,765
Then it's decided.
274
00:12:44,767 --> 00:12:45,833
Yes, it is.
275
00:12:45,835 --> 00:12:47,084
We'll take this outside
276
00:12:47,086 --> 00:12:48,568
and settle it like men.
277
00:12:48,570 --> 00:12:50,854
Great. Where are
we gonna get the men?
278
00:12:52,374 --> 00:12:53,790
Nah?
279
00:12:53,792 --> 00:12:55,692
We should go?
280
00:13:03,718 --> 00:13:06,720
Are you ready
for a totally legitimate
281
00:13:06,722 --> 00:13:09,656
and completely
non-sexual massage?
282
00:13:10,608 --> 00:13:12,009
Yes, I am.
283
00:13:12,011 --> 00:13:13,944
I can't believe
you did all this.
284
00:13:13,946 --> 00:13:15,545
Well, I realized you were right
285
00:13:15,547 --> 00:13:17,480
and I wanna make up
for all the massages
286
00:13:17,482 --> 00:13:18,782
that I hadn't given you.
287
00:13:18,784 --> 00:13:20,918
I even researched
some great techniques.
288
00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:22,019
Really?
289
00:13:22,021 --> 00:13:26,523
Yeah. And you know
how much I hate to read.
290
00:13:26,525 --> 00:13:28,825
Here it goes.
291
00:13:36,484 --> 00:13:38,118
Is that okay, baby?
292
00:13:40,038 --> 00:13:43,173
Yeah, it's great, but maybe
you could ease up a bit.
293
00:13:43,175 --> 00:13:45,743
Okay.
294
00:13:49,213 --> 00:13:52,616
Is there anything you'd like
me to concentrate on?
295
00:13:52,618 --> 00:13:54,084
Ugh. Not...
296
00:13:54,086 --> 00:13:55,352
crushing...my...
297
00:13:55,354 --> 00:13:57,354
organs.
298
00:14:00,158 --> 00:14:02,793
Well, what do you think's
taking him so long?
299
00:14:02,795 --> 00:14:05,663
Uh, ironing a wrinkle
out of his sweater?
300
00:14:07,016 --> 00:14:09,983
Carb loading on crumpets?
301
00:14:12,054 --> 00:14:14,889
Um...
302
00:14:14,891 --> 00:14:16,156
That's all I got.
303
00:14:42,150 --> 00:14:43,750
Let's do this.
304
00:14:48,156 --> 00:14:49,356
Shall we?
305
00:14:52,877 --> 00:14:55,412
This is based
on a Japanese technique.
306
00:14:55,414 --> 00:14:58,382
I think it's
called Reiki or Wreck-u.
307
00:14:59,484 --> 00:15:01,150
It feels like the second one.
308
00:15:02,620 --> 00:15:05,756
Now, this is gonna be amazing.
309
00:15:10,796 --> 00:15:13,497
Ooh! Son of a whore!
310
00:15:13,499 --> 00:15:15,331
Why?
311
00:15:15,333 --> 00:15:17,701
Time for the stomach massage.
312
00:15:17,703 --> 00:15:18,819
Please don't.
313
00:15:18,821 --> 00:15:20,020
No, baby, I insist.
314
00:15:21,222 --> 00:15:24,841
Now, this will help
with digestion.
315
00:15:24,843 --> 00:15:27,027
You may feel
the urge to urinate.
316
00:15:27,029 --> 00:15:28,161
But that's normal.
317
00:15:34,802 --> 00:15:36,437
What are you doing?
318
00:15:36,439 --> 00:15:38,639
Wha... ? Do you have
tension in those?
319
00:15:38,641 --> 00:15:39,940
No. I just have to have you.
320
00:15:39,942 --> 00:15:42,309
No, but, honey, I still have
some kidney work...
321
00:15:42,311 --> 00:15:44,211
Now.
322
00:15:44,213 --> 00:15:47,164
Okay, so I'm going
to give you three chances
323
00:15:47,166 --> 00:15:48,231
to get a hit off me.
324
00:15:48,233 --> 00:15:50,750
Now, to approximate the size
of the cricket field,
325
00:15:50,752 --> 00:15:52,619
we'll use the homeless man
to the south
326
00:15:52,621 --> 00:15:56,006
and the shopping cart with the
old chicken carcass to the east.
327
00:15:56,008 --> 00:15:57,707
So let's play.
328
00:15:57,709 --> 00:16:00,076
Uh, shall we wait
for the south boundary
329
00:16:00,078 --> 00:16:01,278
to finish taking a leak?
330
00:16:06,134 --> 00:16:08,986
I don't think we have
that kind of time.
331
00:16:10,005 --> 00:16:11,372
Let's go.
332
00:16:11,374 --> 00:16:12,322
You ready?
333
00:16:12,324 --> 00:16:13,973
To hit a ball with a stick?
334
00:16:13,975 --> 00:16:15,876
I think so.
335
00:16:15,878 --> 00:16:18,662
All right. Here we go.
336
00:16:20,332 --> 00:16:22,666
Big hit, huh?
337
00:16:22,668 --> 00:16:23,984
Come on, now.
338
00:16:26,188 --> 00:16:31,024
Oh. Nice swing,
Lou "Gay-rig."
339
00:16:40,168 --> 00:16:43,303
Dude, you're gonna get struck
out by Scooter from the Muppets.
340
00:16:45,523 --> 00:16:47,441
That's you.
341
00:16:47,443 --> 00:16:50,259
This one.
This one counts.
342
00:16:54,616 --> 00:16:55,866
Ooh.
343
00:16:56,768 --> 00:16:59,119
Right in the googlies.
344
00:17:01,257 --> 00:17:03,656
You were right.
345
00:17:03,658 --> 00:17:06,026
Cricket is a great game.
346
00:17:07,762 --> 00:17:08,895
Told you.
347
00:17:08,897 --> 00:17:11,665
Wait.
348
00:17:11,667 --> 00:17:15,735
Wait, I think
I'm out for a duck.
349
00:17:23,944 --> 00:17:26,546
We just heard what happened
with you and Ryan.
350
00:17:26,548 --> 00:17:28,348
Yeah, can you believe it?
351
00:17:28,350 --> 00:17:29,483
How was he?
352
00:17:30,851 --> 00:17:33,019
Does he smell like the sea?
353
00:17:33,021 --> 00:17:34,788
Oh, my God, nothing happened.
354
00:17:34,790 --> 00:17:37,391
He has falsely accusing me
of something I didn't do.
355
00:17:37,393 --> 00:17:39,692
Well, that doesn't sound
like my Ryan.
356
00:17:39,694 --> 00:17:40,760
Yeah.
357
00:17:40,762 --> 00:17:43,363
You know, the bar was
the wrong place,
358
00:17:43,365 --> 00:17:45,565
things were misconstrued,
you know?
359
00:17:45,567 --> 00:17:47,618
But I feel like if I just talk
to him again...
360
00:17:47,620 --> 00:17:48,919
So then say something.
361
00:17:48,921 --> 00:17:50,904
Yeah, Jeff
doesn't think I should.
362
00:17:50,906 --> 00:17:55,608
Does Jeff know that Ryan's butt
looks like two Twinkies kissing?
363
00:17:56,478 --> 00:17:57,794
Okay. You know what?
364
00:17:57,796 --> 00:17:59,546
Forget Jeff,
I'm gonna fix this.
365
00:18:00,782 --> 00:18:02,215
I am a people person.
366
00:18:02,217 --> 00:18:04,084
You are?
367
00:18:04,086 --> 00:18:06,086
Yes.
It is a known thing. Gosh.
368
00:18:06,088 --> 00:18:08,322
Ahem. Ryan.
369
00:18:08,324 --> 00:18:09,539
Ryan. Oh, come on.
370
00:18:09,541 --> 00:18:11,507
Ugh.
Ryan, listen, we need to talk.
371
00:18:11,509 --> 00:18:12,926
I'd like to get on the elevator.
372
00:18:12,928 --> 00:18:14,928
Yeah.
First just hear me out.
373
00:18:14,930 --> 00:18:19,115
All right, from the first moment
I met you, I liked you.
374
00:18:19,117 --> 00:18:21,851
And this situation
has been very hard for me
375
00:18:21,853 --> 00:18:24,721
because I have
never done anything
376
00:18:24,723 --> 00:18:27,624
to even remotely
sexually harass you.
377
00:18:27,626 --> 00:18:29,459
I... What the hell?
378
00:18:29,461 --> 00:18:31,644
No. No.
379
00:18:31,646 --> 00:18:34,464
Oh, God. No. No! No!
380
00:18:35,851 --> 00:18:38,785
Don't just stand there,
rip my dress off! Oh, no!
381
00:18:38,787 --> 00:18:40,604
Tear it off!
382
00:18:40,606 --> 00:18:42,705
Get it off.
383
00:18:42,707 --> 00:18:46,326
I will give you it was
an unfortunate incident.
384
00:18:46,328 --> 00:18:48,445
Audrey, you exposed yourself.
385
00:18:48,447 --> 00:18:50,763
It was an accident.
386
00:18:50,765 --> 00:18:54,384
You're the first person to have
this type of accident. Ever.
387
00:18:54,386 --> 00:18:58,171
Ugh.
God, this is so unfair.
388
00:18:58,173 --> 00:19:00,156
And you need some
more tape on your dress.
389
00:19:00,158 --> 00:19:02,693
I'm going to have
my own claim soon.
390
00:19:02,695 --> 00:19:03,961
Sorry.
391
00:19:03,963 --> 00:19:06,446
The good news is because
of your spotless record
392
00:19:06,448 --> 00:19:08,332
and no prior flashings,
393
00:19:08,334 --> 00:19:10,566
all you have to do
is apologize to Ryan.
394
00:19:10,568 --> 00:19:13,203
I most certainly will not.
395
00:19:13,205 --> 00:19:15,772
He is the one who should be
apologizing to me.
396
00:19:15,774 --> 00:19:18,825
I know it seems unfair,
but it won't go on your record
397
00:19:18,827 --> 00:19:22,262
if you apologize
and take a brief suspension.
398
00:19:22,264 --> 00:19:24,331
Oh. I couldn't care less.
399
00:19:24,333 --> 00:19:27,000
You put it on my record,
I did nothing wrong.
400
00:19:27,002 --> 00:19:28,418
Audrey...
No. No. I am standing up
401
00:19:28,420 --> 00:19:29,803
for what is right here.
402
00:19:29,805 --> 00:19:32,405
I'm a people person, you jerk.
403
00:19:32,407 --> 00:19:35,508
Your suspension is with pay.
404
00:19:39,430 --> 00:19:41,481
I am very sorry that I created
405
00:19:41,483 --> 00:19:43,533
a hostile
work environment for you.
406
00:19:43,535 --> 00:19:44,351
Thank you.
407
00:19:44,353 --> 00:19:48,137
I'll be back in a week. Aloha.
408
00:19:49,574 --> 00:19:53,427
I mean goodbye.
28091
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