All language subtitles for Rules of Engagement - 04x10 - The Surrogate.720p.Web-DL.PiLAF.English.C.orig.Addic7ed.com

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,921 --> 00:00:06,654 Timmy, it's fantastic. 2 00:00:06,656 --> 00:00:09,191 Oh, yeah. Timmy, it's the coolest wedding website 3 00:00:09,193 --> 00:00:11,193 I've ever seen. And I've seen four. 4 00:00:11,195 --> 00:00:12,260 Thanks. 5 00:00:12,262 --> 00:00:13,461 Ah, well, there she is. 6 00:00:13,463 --> 00:00:15,597 The Nard-Crusher 2000. 7 00:00:15,599 --> 00:00:19,418 Adam, you didn't tell me it was Bring a Hobbit to Work Day. 8 00:00:19,420 --> 00:00:22,621 Enough with the pleasantries. What are you doing here? 9 00:00:22,623 --> 00:00:24,539 Timmy built us a wedding website 10 00:00:24,541 --> 00:00:27,142 so we could keep our friends updated on our plans. 11 00:00:27,144 --> 00:00:30,912 Yes, it's called Adam and Jen's Big Day.com. 12 00:00:30,914 --> 00:00:34,816 "Two Losers and a Cake Dot Lame" wasn't available? 13 00:00:34,818 --> 00:00:37,318 All right. Let's see what we have here. 14 00:00:37,320 --> 00:00:38,653 "This is Our Story." 15 00:00:38,655 --> 00:00:40,388 "This is the Proposal." 16 00:00:40,390 --> 00:00:42,157 This is the happiest day of my life. 17 00:00:42,159 --> 00:00:43,792 Oh, I don't remember that one. 18 00:00:43,794 --> 00:00:46,094 No, this is the happiest day of my life. Ha! 19 00:00:46,096 --> 00:00:48,313 Timmy, I have hours of mocking in front of me. 20 00:00:48,315 --> 00:00:51,949 Hold all my calls. No one calls you, sir. 21 00:00:51,951 --> 00:00:53,768 Ha-ha. Let me check this out. 22 00:00:53,770 --> 00:00:58,840 "Jennifer, so soft and warm on my arm." 23 00:00:58,842 --> 00:01:00,875 My lucky charm, 24 00:01:00,877 --> 00:01:02,911 "my chicken parm." 25 00:01:02,913 --> 00:01:04,679 Oh, my God! It's a poem! 26 00:01:04,681 --> 00:01:07,148 This dude wrote a poem! Ha-ha! 27 00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:09,316 He's like a gay Walt Whitman. 28 00:01:10,437 --> 00:01:12,437 Walt Whitman was gay. 29 00:01:12,439 --> 00:01:15,290 Not this gay. 30 00:01:16,394 --> 00:01:19,628 ♪ How many ways To say, "I love you?" ♪ 31 00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:26,252 ♪ How many ways To say that I'm not scared? ♪ 32 00:01:26,254 --> 00:01:28,454 ♪ With you by my side ♪ 33 00:01:28,456 --> 00:01:31,073 ♪ There is no denyin' ♪ 34 00:01:31,075 --> 00:01:34,193 ♪ I can't wait For me and you ♪ 35 00:01:43,470 --> 00:01:44,470 Hey. 36 00:01:44,472 --> 00:01:46,071 Hey. 37 00:01:46,073 --> 00:01:48,824 What's wrong? Oh, do they don't have that soup I like? 38 00:01:50,427 --> 00:01:53,295 No, I'm bummed because we just met with another surrogate 39 00:01:53,297 --> 00:01:55,131 and we're just having no luck. 40 00:01:55,133 --> 00:01:57,517 I didn't knew you guys were getting a surrogate. 41 00:01:57,519 --> 00:01:59,985 Yes. I told you after the last in vitro didn't take 42 00:01:59,987 --> 00:02:01,771 we were gonna look into surrogacy. 43 00:02:01,773 --> 00:02:03,689 Are you sure it was me? 44 00:02:03,691 --> 00:02:07,560 Yes, it was right in this booth. 45 00:02:07,562 --> 00:02:10,129 You'd just come from having a haircut and I was... 46 00:02:10,131 --> 00:02:12,214 Oh, yes, I remember. 47 00:02:12,216 --> 00:02:15,150 You said my hair looked really cute, kind of like Megan Fox. 48 00:02:15,152 --> 00:02:18,086 And I said that's what I was going for and then you were... 49 00:02:18,088 --> 00:02:20,756 You cannot recall one thing about the surrogacy, 50 00:02:20,758 --> 00:02:24,059 but you got the whole haircut transcript? 51 00:02:25,345 --> 00:02:28,480 Megan Fox. 52 00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:29,649 That's not unhot. 53 00:02:31,384 --> 00:02:33,769 We've been meeting with these different women 54 00:02:33,771 --> 00:02:35,103 and you know instantly 55 00:02:35,105 --> 00:02:37,105 you don't want them carrying your baby. 56 00:02:37,107 --> 00:02:39,608 Yeah, the last one was too short. 57 00:02:39,610 --> 00:02:42,377 Not my type. 58 00:02:42,379 --> 00:02:45,213 You do know you don't get to have sex with the surrogate. 59 00:02:45,215 --> 00:02:49,685 Uh, you're not hearing me. I don't want to. 60 00:02:49,687 --> 00:02:51,286 Too short. 61 00:02:51,288 --> 00:02:53,355 It doesn't matter anyway. 62 00:02:53,357 --> 00:02:55,757 I'm certain to give up hope we'll find anybody. 63 00:02:55,759 --> 00:02:58,226 Oh, my cousin used a surrogate and just loved her. 64 00:02:58,228 --> 00:03:00,696 Went on and on about her. I could get her number. 65 00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:07,870 This just occurred to you now? 66 00:03:07,872 --> 00:03:09,521 I'm sorry, Audrey. 67 00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:12,191 Sometimes I'm not a good listener. 68 00:03:12,193 --> 00:03:14,009 I told you I'm not the only one spacing out 69 00:03:14,011 --> 00:03:16,479 during your stories. You know? 70 00:03:16,481 --> 00:03:18,547 You gotta pick up the pace. 71 00:03:22,970 --> 00:03:25,821 You know, some of this websites have little mottos. 72 00:03:25,823 --> 00:03:29,108 Maybe ours should have one. Uh, well, what kind of motto? 73 00:03:29,110 --> 00:03:33,195 Well, this one says "A day of love, an eternity of loving." 74 00:03:33,197 --> 00:03:34,914 Wow, that's great. You know, honey, 75 00:03:34,916 --> 00:03:37,799 I don't even wanna try to top that. Yeah. 76 00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:41,403 You don't seem as into the website as you were before. 77 00:03:41,405 --> 00:03:43,706 You know, I just feel like it's kind of played. 78 00:03:43,708 --> 00:03:45,408 You know? I mean... 79 00:03:45,410 --> 00:03:48,727 I mean, everyone's like, just a little burned out over it. 80 00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:51,563 It's been up for six hours. 81 00:03:52,949 --> 00:03:54,700 This is about Russell, isn't it? 82 00:03:54,702 --> 00:03:56,419 Of course it is. Honey, he never stops. 83 00:03:56,421 --> 00:03:59,021 I mean, all day I was 10 seconds away from tears. 84 00:03:59,023 --> 00:04:03,292 Honey, Russell's an immature, pathetic little troll. 85 00:04:03,294 --> 00:04:04,993 You love our wedding website. 86 00:04:04,995 --> 00:04:07,463 Don't let his stupid comments wreck it for you. 87 00:04:07,465 --> 00:04:10,132 Okay, I'll try. Now, come look. 88 00:04:10,134 --> 00:04:12,935 This morning I posted that picture of us at the beach 89 00:04:12,937 --> 00:04:14,570 sharing an ice cream cone. 90 00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:21,777 Oh, my God! Aah! 91 00:04:21,779 --> 00:04:24,512 That is not an ice cream cone. 92 00:04:24,514 --> 00:04:25,898 Ugh. Russell. 93 00:04:30,220 --> 00:04:32,921 Oh, God, you're back. What took you so long? 94 00:04:32,923 --> 00:04:36,308 I went out to get the doughnuts. 95 00:04:36,310 --> 00:04:37,909 No! 96 00:04:37,911 --> 00:04:41,179 God! No doughnuts. 97 00:04:41,181 --> 00:04:42,965 Why no doughnuts? 98 00:04:42,967 --> 00:04:45,334 I talked to Jen's cousin about the surrogate. 99 00:04:45,336 --> 00:04:47,820 She sounds perfect. Too good for doughnuts. 100 00:04:47,822 --> 00:04:50,772 We can't let her think we eat doughnuts for breakfast. 101 00:04:50,774 --> 00:04:53,041 If she's gonna be with us for nine months, 102 00:04:53,043 --> 00:04:54,577 it's gonna come out. 103 00:04:54,579 --> 00:04:57,363 Ah. Look, I'm really excited about this girl. 104 00:04:57,365 --> 00:05:00,282 She's a college grad, she comes from a very good family. 105 00:05:00,284 --> 00:05:02,284 Oh, Aah. That's her. 106 00:05:02,286 --> 00:05:04,453 Okay. Please, Jeff, I want this so badly. 107 00:05:04,455 --> 00:05:06,155 Let's give it our best shot, okay? 108 00:05:06,157 --> 00:05:07,856 Hey, I already gave it my best shot 109 00:05:07,858 --> 00:05:09,908 into that cup at the clinic. 110 00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:13,295 That's doughnut humor. 111 00:05:16,450 --> 00:05:17,450 Ahem. 112 00:05:17,452 --> 00:05:18,751 Hi, I'm Pam Nelson. Hi. 113 00:05:18,753 --> 00:05:20,135 Oh, hi, Audrey Bingham. 114 00:05:20,137 --> 00:05:22,287 So nice to meet you. This is my husband, Jeff. 115 00:05:22,289 --> 00:05:23,455 Pleasure. Hey, there. 116 00:05:23,457 --> 00:05:25,407 Wow, you have a beautiful apartment. 117 00:05:25,409 --> 00:05:27,676 Oh, thank you. And doughnut-free. 118 00:05:27,678 --> 00:05:30,745 Please, have a seat. 119 00:05:30,747 --> 00:05:32,247 So... 120 00:05:32,249 --> 00:05:35,684 I understand you're interested in leasing out my uterus. 121 00:05:37,553 --> 00:05:40,505 Just kidding. It's a little surrogate joke. 122 00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:43,208 Oh, ha. Ha-ha-ha! 123 00:05:43,210 --> 00:05:45,878 That's so funny. Isn't that funny? 124 00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:47,679 Tell us another surrogate joke. 125 00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:51,016 I really only have the one. 126 00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:55,788 That's one more than that short gal out in Jersey. 127 00:05:55,790 --> 00:05:57,672 So here's my deal. 128 00:05:57,674 --> 00:06:00,575 I've carried one child so far and it was amazing. 129 00:06:00,577 --> 00:06:03,712 I felt like I was giving such a wonderful gift to that family 130 00:06:03,714 --> 00:06:05,714 that I just really wanna do it again. 131 00:06:05,716 --> 00:06:07,999 Oh. That's a beautiful story. 132 00:06:08,001 --> 00:06:09,235 Wow. Yes, it was. 133 00:06:09,237 --> 00:06:12,771 And not to mention tight, to the point. 134 00:06:12,773 --> 00:06:16,007 The kind of story someone might remember. 135 00:06:16,009 --> 00:06:18,927 So is there anything else you would like to know about me? 136 00:06:18,929 --> 00:06:21,246 Well, in regards to your health history, uh... 137 00:06:21,248 --> 00:06:25,117 Jeff, little personal, isn't it? 138 00:06:25,119 --> 00:06:27,686 I love your shirt. Where did you get it? 139 00:06:29,039 --> 00:06:31,340 Yeah, that's more of what we need to know. 140 00:06:32,843 --> 00:06:34,009 I like you guys. 141 00:06:34,011 --> 00:06:35,711 You're kidding. 142 00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:38,947 At the risk of sounding a little nutty, 143 00:06:38,949 --> 00:06:40,282 I get vibes from people, 144 00:06:40,284 --> 00:06:42,434 and, uh, I feel very comfortable around you. 145 00:06:42,436 --> 00:06:44,019 Did you hear that? 146 00:06:44,021 --> 00:06:47,356 I'm sitting here, closer to her than you. 147 00:06:47,358 --> 00:06:48,907 Right. Okay. 148 00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:50,242 So, what's the next step? 149 00:06:50,244 --> 00:06:52,978 Well, to be honest, there is another couple in the mix. 150 00:06:52,980 --> 00:06:56,131 And I've met with them, and I really like them too. 151 00:06:56,133 --> 00:06:57,065 Really? 152 00:06:57,067 --> 00:06:59,100 Let me ask you this. Did the other couple 153 00:06:59,102 --> 00:07:03,021 provide any kind of snack or baked good? 154 00:07:03,023 --> 00:07:04,923 Just some water. 155 00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:06,191 Oh, my God, we have that. 156 00:07:06,193 --> 00:07:08,259 How many...? How much do you want? 157 00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:10,311 No, I... I'm fine. Thank you, though. 158 00:07:10,313 --> 00:07:13,148 Um, so once we're finished here, 159 00:07:13,150 --> 00:07:15,584 I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna think everyone 160 00:07:15,586 --> 00:07:18,587 and them I'm gonna let everybody know my decision tomorrow, 161 00:07:18,589 --> 00:07:20,689 if that's okay with you? 162 00:07:20,691 --> 00:07:24,026 That would be fine. No, pick us now. 163 00:07:29,034 --> 00:07:32,135 All right, listen up. That website was dedicated 164 00:07:32,137 --> 00:07:34,605 to the most important day of Jen's and my life, 165 00:07:34,607 --> 00:07:37,808 and you are gonna stop your stupid, tasteless jokes. 166 00:07:37,810 --> 00:07:40,244 I'm sorry, I was just kidding around, 167 00:07:40,246 --> 00:07:43,680 but if I went too far, I apologize. 168 00:07:43,682 --> 00:07:45,582 I didn't meant to upset you. 169 00:07:48,970 --> 00:07:50,538 Well... 170 00:07:50,540 --> 00:07:52,189 that's okay. 171 00:07:52,191 --> 00:07:54,724 Uh, apology accepted. 172 00:07:54,726 --> 00:07:57,027 Actually, I've decided I'm gonna help you 173 00:07:57,029 --> 00:08:00,731 spread the joy of your website with as many people as possible. 174 00:08:00,733 --> 00:08:03,667 Especially after seeing this new video 175 00:08:03,669 --> 00:08:06,937 that Jen just posted. What new video? 176 00:08:06,939 --> 00:08:10,440 It's literally my favorite thing ever. 177 00:08:10,442 --> 00:08:13,443 What the... No, no. She posted that? 178 00:08:13,445 --> 00:08:15,378 I thought I erased it. 179 00:08:15,380 --> 00:08:16,346 Well, you didn't. 180 00:08:16,348 --> 00:08:17,932 And you should've. 181 00:08:19,484 --> 00:08:23,504 ♪ Something inside me Makes me love you ♪ 182 00:08:23,506 --> 00:08:25,039 It's nice. 183 00:08:25,041 --> 00:08:28,276 ♪ Baby, give me all you got ♪ 184 00:08:28,278 --> 00:08:29,527 A little greedy. 185 00:08:29,529 --> 00:08:34,648 ♪ When you put Your love inside me ♪ 186 00:08:34,650 --> 00:08:39,736 ♪ It always hits My special spot ♪ 187 00:08:40,689 --> 00:08:43,207 No! No! My... My heart! 188 00:08:43,209 --> 00:08:45,526 My special spot is my heart. 189 00:08:45,528 --> 00:08:49,246 I'm sure that's what everyone I e-mailed it to thinks. 190 00:08:49,248 --> 00:08:52,166 You know what? I don't give a crap about what anybody thinks. 191 00:08:52,168 --> 00:08:54,268 I am proud of everything on that website 192 00:08:54,270 --> 00:08:56,637 and you're not gonna ruin it for me. 193 00:08:58,406 --> 00:08:59,890 Well done in there, Mr. Rhodes. 194 00:08:59,892 --> 00:09:02,126 The way you stood up to Mr. Dunbar's bullying 195 00:09:02,128 --> 00:09:04,628 will make Jennifer proud. Thank you. 196 00:09:04,630 --> 00:09:06,797 Oh, uh, Mr. Rhodes, I have some mail for you. 197 00:09:06,799 --> 00:09:09,400 Should I put it on your desk or in your special spot? 198 00:09:15,740 --> 00:09:17,124 Take it down. 199 00:09:18,126 --> 00:09:19,560 I'm sorry? The website. 200 00:09:19,562 --> 00:09:22,029 Crash it. 201 00:09:22,031 --> 00:09:23,464 Crash it hard. 202 00:09:28,453 --> 00:09:30,321 Well, this really was a pleasure. 203 00:09:30,323 --> 00:09:32,856 For us too. And thank you 204 00:09:32,858 --> 00:09:34,425 for all the water. 205 00:09:35,410 --> 00:09:38,044 I'll think of you every time I pee. 206 00:09:39,281 --> 00:09:40,581 Hilarious. 207 00:09:40,583 --> 00:09:43,250 Okay. Bye, funny Pam. 208 00:09:43,252 --> 00:09:47,554 Oh, my God, she's the greatest. 209 00:09:47,556 --> 00:09:50,824 Don't you think... How did you get those so fast? 210 00:09:52,193 --> 00:09:53,944 You're already through one? 211 00:09:53,946 --> 00:09:56,180 Yeah. 212 00:09:56,182 --> 00:09:57,998 One. 213 00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:00,434 Anyway, how was I? 214 00:10:00,436 --> 00:10:04,905 Some of your comments were a bit...needy. 215 00:10:06,208 --> 00:10:08,425 Like what? Well, 216 00:10:08,427 --> 00:10:11,395 when you likened her uterus to a cathedral. 217 00:10:11,397 --> 00:10:13,480 Ah. I was nervous. 218 00:10:13,482 --> 00:10:15,633 Is that why you did those 17 lady pushups? 219 00:10:15,635 --> 00:10:20,003 No, I wanted to show her how strong my eggs were. 220 00:10:20,005 --> 00:10:22,022 I'm not sure that was the takeaway. 221 00:10:22,024 --> 00:10:24,642 Oh, God, it was a disaster. 222 00:10:24,644 --> 00:10:26,643 She's gonna pick the other people. 223 00:10:26,645 --> 00:10:28,779 There's gotta be something else we can do. 224 00:10:28,781 --> 00:10:32,716 Well, the doughnut ship has sailed. 225 00:10:34,018 --> 00:10:35,986 Hey, what if we offer her more money? 226 00:10:35,988 --> 00:10:37,771 You know, grease her a little. 227 00:10:37,773 --> 00:10:41,976 We're trying to get a baby, not a table near a window. 228 00:10:43,079 --> 00:10:45,746 I just... I just want her to pick us. 229 00:10:45,748 --> 00:10:48,648 Being so close makes me realize how much I want a baby. 230 00:10:48,650 --> 00:10:50,450 Yeah, so do I. 231 00:10:50,452 --> 00:10:53,270 But it's out of our hands. If it's meant to be, it'll be. 232 00:10:53,272 --> 00:10:54,621 Right? Yeah, yeah. 233 00:10:54,623 --> 00:10:56,991 You're right. Maybe it is meant to be. 234 00:10:56,993 --> 00:10:58,442 Hi, Pam, listen. 235 00:10:58,444 --> 00:11:00,861 I'm sorry to call so late, but if there's anything 236 00:11:00,863 --> 00:11:03,347 we could do that might make your decision easier, 237 00:11:03,349 --> 00:11:06,133 like, I don't know, maybe an extra $5000... 238 00:11:06,135 --> 00:11:07,468 Oh, God. 239 00:11:09,438 --> 00:11:11,822 Hm. I thought that we agreed 240 00:11:11,824 --> 00:11:14,508 to leave this thing alone. Oh, come on. 241 00:11:14,510 --> 00:11:15,876 How can you be so naive? 242 00:11:15,878 --> 00:11:17,344 Pam's never gonna pick us. 243 00:11:17,346 --> 00:11:20,230 Why do you say that? You don't even know the other people. 244 00:11:20,232 --> 00:11:21,432 I don't have to. 245 00:11:21,434 --> 00:11:22,533 Look at us. 246 00:11:22,535 --> 00:11:24,718 We're not good. 247 00:11:24,720 --> 00:11:27,521 What can we offer a child, besides food and shelter? 248 00:11:27,523 --> 00:11:30,557 And with you at the table, it might just be shelter. 249 00:11:30,559 --> 00:11:32,459 You gotta calm down. 250 00:11:32,461 --> 00:11:33,811 Jeff, we're gonna lose! 251 00:11:33,813 --> 00:11:36,413 Game over. Thanks for playing, Binghams. 252 00:11:36,415 --> 00:11:38,282 I see. And you thought another 5 grand 253 00:11:38,284 --> 00:11:40,951 would even the playing field? Uh, I don't know. 254 00:11:40,953 --> 00:11:43,487 But it's better than: 255 00:11:43,489 --> 00:11:46,123 "If it's meant to be, it will be." 256 00:11:46,125 --> 00:11:48,025 There's no need 257 00:11:48,027 --> 00:11:51,979 to drag my velvety baritone through the mud. 258 00:11:53,281 --> 00:11:56,416 And for the record, even though I do eat a lot, 259 00:11:56,418 --> 00:12:00,571 I would always leave a little something for the baby. 260 00:12:06,579 --> 00:12:08,495 Hey, sweetie, what are you doing here? 261 00:12:08,497 --> 00:12:11,799 Oh. Our website is down. What?! 262 00:12:12,934 --> 00:12:14,251 Yes, it seems to have crashed. 263 00:12:14,253 --> 00:12:15,568 No! 264 00:12:15,570 --> 00:12:16,870 It can't... It can't be! 265 00:12:16,872 --> 00:12:18,939 How could you have let this happen, Timmy? 266 00:12:18,941 --> 00:12:21,258 Be more incompetent next time! 267 00:12:21,260 --> 00:12:22,993 I'm sorry, Mr. Rhodes. 268 00:12:22,995 --> 00:12:24,294 Oh, well. Grab some lunch? 269 00:12:26,163 --> 00:12:29,650 You know you've never been able to lie to me. 270 00:12:29,652 --> 00:12:31,502 Yes, I have. 271 00:12:31,504 --> 00:12:33,504 That's not true, I haven't. 272 00:12:33,506 --> 00:12:35,638 Did you have something to do with this? 273 00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:38,091 No. Really? 274 00:12:38,093 --> 00:12:40,794 Damn, you always ask such good follow-up questions. 275 00:12:40,796 --> 00:12:43,314 Honey, I know the website meant a lot to you. 276 00:12:43,316 --> 00:12:45,882 But you don't have to face Russell every day. 277 00:12:45,884 --> 00:12:47,518 He's so mean. 278 00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:49,502 Why do you let him get to you? 279 00:12:49,504 --> 00:12:51,171 Just ignore him. 280 00:12:51,173 --> 00:12:54,057 Hey, guys. Bad day for gayness. Your website's down. 281 00:12:55,543 --> 00:12:58,328 But luckily, not before I was able to print this picture 282 00:12:58,330 --> 00:13:00,814 with some slight modifications. 283 00:13:00,816 --> 00:13:02,633 Oh, my God! You didn't. 284 00:13:02,635 --> 00:13:04,801 I kinda did. 285 00:13:04,803 --> 00:13:06,403 You see that? 286 00:13:06,405 --> 00:13:08,388 He's kneeling down in front of you, 287 00:13:08,390 --> 00:13:11,025 but he's not proposing. Ha-ha! 288 00:13:11,027 --> 00:13:12,976 You're such a dirtbag jackass. 289 00:13:12,978 --> 00:13:16,697 Hey, wait. Whoa, whoa. Let's keep it professional. 290 00:13:16,699 --> 00:13:18,448 Sir, at the risk of spoiling your fun, 291 00:13:18,450 --> 00:13:21,485 may I remind you you're running late for your appointment. 292 00:13:21,487 --> 00:13:22,752 Oh, crud. 293 00:13:22,754 --> 00:13:25,305 What time are you expected back on the Dutch Boy can? 294 00:13:25,307 --> 00:13:28,309 Touché, you got me on that one. 295 00:13:28,311 --> 00:13:30,077 Timmy, I need you to hand these out 296 00:13:30,079 --> 00:13:31,611 to everyone in the building, 297 00:13:31,613 --> 00:13:33,914 and randomly on the subway on your way home. 298 00:13:35,901 --> 00:13:38,101 Well, this is somewhat awkward, 299 00:13:38,103 --> 00:13:39,670 but I do have my marching orders. 300 00:13:41,973 --> 00:13:43,106 Thanks, Timmy. 301 00:13:55,053 --> 00:13:56,636 Fair enough. 302 00:13:56,638 --> 00:13:59,305 There's got to be something we can do to stop him. 303 00:13:59,307 --> 00:14:00,374 But how? Perhaps I could be 304 00:14:00,376 --> 00:14:04,227 of assistance. You see, what you need here is leverage. 305 00:14:04,229 --> 00:14:05,362 But we have none. 306 00:14:05,364 --> 00:14:06,830 Not at the moment. 307 00:14:06,832 --> 00:14:10,050 But you might gain some, if we act quickly. 308 00:14:10,052 --> 00:14:12,802 Okay. Okay, we better help you pass out these fliers 309 00:14:12,804 --> 00:14:14,271 so we can get going. 310 00:14:30,087 --> 00:14:32,323 What's that? 311 00:14:32,325 --> 00:14:33,691 Is someone here? 312 00:14:35,677 --> 00:14:37,410 Smile and say "super cheesy." 313 00:14:37,412 --> 00:14:39,262 No! 314 00:14:39,264 --> 00:14:42,782 No! Don't! Get out of here! No! 315 00:14:45,187 --> 00:14:46,386 Okay. 316 00:14:46,388 --> 00:14:48,505 So, what do you want? 317 00:14:48,507 --> 00:14:50,907 Well, I want you to stop insulting our website, 318 00:14:50,909 --> 00:14:54,161 ever print or alter any photos from it, 319 00:14:54,163 --> 00:14:56,797 and don't change the lyrics of our first-dance song 320 00:14:56,799 --> 00:14:59,032 to make it sound gay. 321 00:15:00,202 --> 00:15:01,602 Do what you want. 322 00:15:01,604 --> 00:15:04,071 But every person in our company directory 323 00:15:04,073 --> 00:15:06,740 will see all of these photos, including this one. 324 00:15:06,742 --> 00:15:09,375 Honey. The caption was my idea. 325 00:15:10,995 --> 00:15:13,664 "Must be chilly in a tanning booth." 326 00:15:13,666 --> 00:15:17,584 That's not fair. It was very cold in there. 327 00:15:17,586 --> 00:15:19,703 Nowhere is it that cold. 328 00:15:23,108 --> 00:15:26,160 So do we have an agreement? 329 00:15:28,998 --> 00:15:30,347 Fine. 330 00:15:30,349 --> 00:15:33,384 I'll stay away from your stupid website, all right? 331 00:15:33,386 --> 00:15:34,651 Are you guys happy now? 332 00:15:34,653 --> 00:15:35,985 Yeah. 333 00:15:35,987 --> 00:15:38,021 Jen? You know what? 334 00:15:38,023 --> 00:15:40,490 I thought I would be, but I'm not. 335 00:15:40,492 --> 00:15:43,576 These pictures are too good not to share. 336 00:15:43,578 --> 00:15:47,080 Really? Well, that would mean the end of our wedding website. 337 00:15:47,082 --> 00:15:50,184 Oh, screw the website. It is kind of gay. 338 00:15:51,385 --> 00:15:53,153 And send. 339 00:15:53,155 --> 00:15:56,223 There's no way you just really sent that. 340 00:15:57,325 --> 00:15:59,410 Oh, good Lord! 341 00:16:06,267 --> 00:16:09,136 I kinda did. 342 00:16:19,530 --> 00:16:21,865 You're really still gonna use that? 343 00:16:21,867 --> 00:16:23,617 It's just water. 344 00:16:23,619 --> 00:16:25,219 Toilet water. 345 00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:27,754 Your phone was in a toilet. 346 00:16:29,224 --> 00:16:31,642 I mean, if that's not time to hit the Verizon store, 347 00:16:31,644 --> 00:16:32,859 I don't know what is. 348 00:16:34,146 --> 00:16:37,113 Oh, look, someone's calling on the dry one. 349 00:16:37,115 --> 00:16:38,248 Hello? 350 00:16:38,250 --> 00:16:40,534 Oh, hey. How are you? 351 00:16:41,769 --> 00:16:43,604 Fine, sure. Come on up. 352 00:16:43,606 --> 00:16:45,288 Who was that? That's Pam. 353 00:16:45,290 --> 00:16:46,606 And she's in the lobby. 354 00:16:46,608 --> 00:16:48,007 And, uh, she's on her way up. 355 00:16:48,009 --> 00:16:49,976 Oh, my God! What do you think she wants? 356 00:16:49,978 --> 00:16:51,644 Wait. How's my hair? It's fine. 357 00:16:51,646 --> 00:16:53,646 Well, yours isn't. You've got bed head. 358 00:16:53,648 --> 00:16:55,615 What if she finds out I sleep in a bed? 359 00:16:55,617 --> 00:16:57,284 Oh, God. 360 00:17:01,806 --> 00:17:03,590 Hi, Pam. Nice to see you. 361 00:17:03,592 --> 00:17:05,108 You too. May I come in? 362 00:17:05,110 --> 00:17:06,409 Sure, of course. Yeah. 363 00:17:06,411 --> 00:17:08,578 Okay, so here's the thing. 364 00:17:08,580 --> 00:17:10,647 Last night I got a voicemail from a woman. 365 00:17:10,649 --> 00:17:13,717 She didn't say who she was and I couldn't recognize her voice, 366 00:17:13,719 --> 00:17:15,885 but she was offering me an additional $5000 367 00:17:15,887 --> 00:17:18,221 to carry her baby. I was very disappointed. 368 00:17:18,223 --> 00:17:21,224 Huh. Do you have any friends who are practical jokers? 369 00:17:21,226 --> 00:17:23,293 I don't. 370 00:17:24,412 --> 00:17:26,913 That's too bad, you're missing out. 371 00:17:26,915 --> 00:17:30,233 So I went to the other woman, Sandra, 372 00:17:30,235 --> 00:17:32,902 and she swore that she didn't make that call. 373 00:17:32,904 --> 00:17:36,206 So do you have something you'd like to say to me? 374 00:17:39,827 --> 00:17:41,711 Yes. 375 00:17:41,713 --> 00:17:45,682 Uh, I'd like to say that 376 00:17:45,684 --> 00:17:49,169 I'm disgusted Sandra would stoop to that level. 377 00:17:50,555 --> 00:17:52,689 Well, one of you made the call. 378 00:17:52,691 --> 00:17:55,725 Since nobody wants to admit it, I don't feel comfortable 379 00:17:55,727 --> 00:17:57,710 offering either of you my services. 380 00:17:57,712 --> 00:17:58,929 Really? 381 00:17:58,931 --> 00:18:01,164 For me, surrogacy is not about the money. 382 00:18:01,166 --> 00:18:03,901 It's about the feeling I get doing a selfless act 383 00:18:03,903 --> 00:18:06,102 for deserving people who otherwise wouldn't 384 00:18:06,104 --> 00:18:07,737 be able to have a child. 385 00:18:07,739 --> 00:18:09,473 But in this case, the word "deserving" 386 00:18:09,475 --> 00:18:10,674 doesn't seem to apply. 387 00:18:11,676 --> 00:18:13,911 I'm gonna go. 388 00:18:13,913 --> 00:18:16,113 Uh, Pam, wait. Wait, wait, wait! 389 00:18:16,115 --> 00:18:18,131 Just... I'm the one who made the call. 390 00:18:18,133 --> 00:18:19,550 Jeff tried to talk me out of it. 391 00:18:19,552 --> 00:18:21,018 And I wouldn't listen to him. 392 00:18:21,020 --> 00:18:23,186 You don't hear that too often. 393 00:18:23,188 --> 00:18:25,922 I just... I couldn't stand waiting 394 00:18:25,924 --> 00:18:28,091 and not being able to do anything. 395 00:18:28,093 --> 00:18:31,394 But I can't let another couple pay for my mistake. 396 00:18:31,396 --> 00:18:33,463 You should... You should pick them. 397 00:18:33,465 --> 00:18:35,549 Then that's what I'm gonna do. 398 00:18:37,167 --> 00:18:38,752 Take care, Audrey. 399 00:18:38,754 --> 00:18:40,770 Pam, could you wait a minute, please? 400 00:18:43,207 --> 00:18:45,942 Did you see what my wife did? 401 00:18:45,944 --> 00:18:49,178 She came clean. Because deep down, she's honest. 402 00:18:49,180 --> 00:18:51,715 It's very deep down, and sometimes it takes a while 403 00:18:51,717 --> 00:18:54,517 to come to the surface. 404 00:18:54,519 --> 00:18:57,171 Jeff... Let me... Let me finish. 405 00:18:57,173 --> 00:19:01,208 Did Audrey's screws come loose in the middle of the night? 406 00:19:01,210 --> 00:19:02,376 You betcha. 407 00:19:03,878 --> 00:19:05,178 The way I see it, 408 00:19:05,180 --> 00:19:07,214 her only crime is wanting it too much. 409 00:19:07,216 --> 00:19:11,384 And someone who wants it that much would make a great mom. 410 00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:14,972 A great supplier of a baby 411 00:19:14,974 --> 00:19:19,359 to fester up down there in your region. 412 00:19:21,996 --> 00:19:25,165 Now, that's very moving. 413 00:19:25,167 --> 00:19:26,433 Up until "fester." 414 00:19:27,902 --> 00:19:29,519 Look, I truly hope that you guys 415 00:19:29,521 --> 00:19:31,455 have the family that you want someday. 416 00:19:31,457 --> 00:19:33,990 But that doesn't change the fact that she thought 417 00:19:33,992 --> 00:19:36,059 I would compromise my morals for $5000. 418 00:19:36,061 --> 00:19:39,479 What if we made it 10? 419 00:19:39,481 --> 00:19:40,730 I'd say it's not gonna work. 420 00:19:40,732 --> 00:19:43,015 Okay. 421 00:19:43,017 --> 00:19:44,534 For Sandra and Duane. 422 00:19:44,536 --> 00:19:47,036 Congratulations. You're gonna be parents! 423 00:19:47,038 --> 00:19:49,389 Oh, my God! 424 00:19:54,596 --> 00:19:57,147 Okay, bye. Take care. See you. 425 00:20:03,488 --> 00:20:05,922 Hey, how you doing? Russell Dunbar. 426 00:20:05,924 --> 00:20:07,990 Pam Nelson. Ah. 427 00:20:09,076 --> 00:20:10,861 Do you live in the building, Pam? 428 00:20:10,863 --> 00:20:13,713 No, just doing some business with people who do. 429 00:20:13,715 --> 00:20:15,749 Delightful. 430 00:20:15,751 --> 00:20:17,317 Here we go. 431 00:20:19,654 --> 00:20:22,455 So this, uh, business be bringing you back here much? 432 00:20:22,457 --> 00:20:23,857 Yes, actually it will. 433 00:20:25,059 --> 00:20:26,093 How fortuitous. 434 00:20:31,382 --> 00:20:32,432 No! 435 00:20:35,402 --> 00:20:37,136 Is something wrong? Ah. 436 00:20:37,138 --> 00:20:38,738 God, I hope not. 31758

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