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1
00:00:03,202 --> 00:00:05,170
Here you go, Jeff. Enjoy.
2
00:00:05,171 --> 00:00:06,871
Yeah.
Russell.
3
00:00:10,276 --> 00:00:12,377
What's up with you and Doreen?
4
00:00:12,378 --> 00:00:13,962
She asked me what I did
this weekend.
5
00:00:13,963 --> 00:00:15,096
And?
6
00:00:15,097 --> 00:00:16,097
And I told her.
7
00:00:17,366 --> 00:00:18,300
Hey.
8
00:00:18,301 --> 00:00:20,084
Hey.
Where's my food?
9
00:00:20,085 --> 00:00:22,670
This isn't a magic diner.
10
00:00:24,807 --> 00:00:27,208
You have to tell the waitress
what you want.
11
00:00:28,561 --> 00:00:30,928
I texted you my order
10 minutes ago.
12
00:00:30,929 --> 00:00:33,098
Why do you have such a problem
with texting?
13
00:00:33,099 --> 00:00:35,500
It's for teenage girls.
14
00:00:35,501 --> 00:00:37,068
I text all the time.
15
00:00:37,069 --> 00:00:40,171
And guys
with teenage-girl hair.
16
00:00:41,874 --> 00:00:43,508
I think you would
embrace texting.
17
00:00:43,509 --> 00:00:45,977
You hate actually talking
to other human beings.
18
00:00:45,978 --> 00:00:48,313
I do dislike people.
19
00:00:48,314 --> 00:00:50,715
I'm just old school.
That's all.
20
00:00:50,716 --> 00:00:53,451
You don't like pushing buttons
with your gorilla thumbs.
21
00:00:55,488 --> 00:00:59,957
With your baby hands, it's like
you're actually typing.
22
00:00:59,958 --> 00:01:02,844
All right, well, you're missing
out, Magilla, all right?
23
00:01:02,845 --> 00:01:05,013
I control my whole universe with
this thi...
24
00:01:05,014 --> 00:01:06,765
Oh, my God, where's my phone?
25
00:01:06,766 --> 00:01:10,185
Oh, no, I left it at
that girl's apartment.
26
00:01:10,186 --> 00:01:12,486
Right next to the chloroform?
27
00:01:14,740 --> 00:01:17,942
Why don't you just wait till she
comes to and then go get it?
28
00:01:17,943 --> 00:01:19,327
Not so easy.
29
00:01:19,328 --> 00:01:21,763
See, uh, we had what's called
a one-night stand,
30
00:01:21,764 --> 00:01:26,267
and, uh, she should be realizing
that right about now. Ha-ha!
31
00:01:26,268 --> 00:01:29,103
Did you come here
straight from her place?
32
00:01:29,104 --> 00:01:29,871
Yeah.
33
00:01:29,872 --> 00:01:32,323
Put that hand away, brother.
34
00:01:34,610 --> 00:01:37,629
♪ How many ways
To say, "I love you?" ♪
35
00:01:39,365 --> 00:01:44,569
♪ How many ways
To say that I'm not scared? ♪
36
00:01:44,570 --> 00:01:47,105
♪ With you by my side ♪
37
00:01:47,106 --> 00:01:49,040
♪ There is no denyin' ♪
38
00:01:49,041 --> 00:01:52,143
♪ I can't wait
For me and you ♪
39
00:02:00,836 --> 00:02:02,036
All right, seriously,
40
00:02:02,037 --> 00:02:04,105
you have got to get better
about texting.
41
00:02:04,106 --> 00:02:05,573
It will help us communicate.
42
00:02:05,574 --> 00:02:07,208
We've been married
for 14 years.
43
00:02:07,209 --> 00:02:09,043
What is there left to say?
44
00:02:10,462 --> 00:02:12,797
It's not so I can enjoy
your sparkling wit.
45
00:02:12,798 --> 00:02:15,834
It's for scheduling doctor's
appointments and stuff.
46
00:02:15,835 --> 00:02:18,469
Ooh, you finally gonna tweak
the old lady's rack?
47
00:02:18,470 --> 00:02:20,372
No.
48
00:02:20,373 --> 00:02:22,740
Sorry. No!
49
00:02:24,143 --> 00:02:26,644
They're fertility doctors.
50
00:02:26,645 --> 00:02:28,346
Right, your marriage
is at the point
51
00:02:28,347 --> 00:02:30,649
where you like to introduce
new characters.
52
00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:31,816
So, what's the plan?
53
00:02:31,817 --> 00:02:34,019
We have a consultation
to discuss it today.
54
00:02:34,020 --> 00:02:35,520
Here, I texted you the info.
55
00:02:35,521 --> 00:02:39,824
Oh, here it is. Hey, hit "read"
for me, Thumbelina.
56
00:02:39,825 --> 00:02:42,193
Hey.
57
00:02:42,194 --> 00:02:44,596
What's in the bag?
Jen let you take
58
00:02:44,597 --> 00:02:47,131
your nards out for a walk?
59
00:02:47,132 --> 00:02:49,367
Adam does whatever he wants
with his nards.
60
00:02:49,368 --> 00:02:51,702
Mm. I bet.
61
00:02:51,703 --> 00:02:54,372
Actually, they're our
save-the-date cards.
62
00:02:54,373 --> 00:02:55,706
Ooh.
63
00:02:55,707 --> 00:02:58,510
Yeah, I got 200 STDs
right here.
64
00:03:00,612 --> 00:03:02,947
Don't worry, Russell.
You still got him beat.
65
00:03:04,967 --> 00:03:06,834
I hope your wedding
doesn't conflict
66
00:03:06,835 --> 00:03:09,320
with a major sports
championship game.
67
00:03:09,321 --> 00:03:11,322
Whenever it is,
the chances of me going
68
00:03:11,323 --> 00:03:13,958
are proportioned to the hotness
of the bridesmaids.
69
00:03:13,959 --> 00:03:16,361
What if you're not invited?
Does that factor in?
70
00:03:16,362 --> 00:03:20,931
No, just bridesmaid hotness,
I think.
71
00:03:20,932 --> 00:03:23,067
Well, as so often happens
around here,
72
00:03:23,068 --> 00:03:25,403
I've lost my appetite.
Excuse me.
73
00:03:25,404 --> 00:03:27,204
I'm gonna come with you.
74
00:03:27,205 --> 00:03:29,307
Bye, honey. Mwah.
75
00:03:30,776 --> 00:03:32,910
So you've set a date.
76
00:03:32,911 --> 00:03:35,280
♪ Ba-ba-bum ♪
77
00:03:35,281 --> 00:03:37,114
Oh, come on,
it's not a big deal.
78
00:03:37,115 --> 00:03:40,434
Not a big deal.
You wanna take this?
79
00:03:40,435 --> 00:03:42,403
No, you go ahead.
80
00:03:42,404 --> 00:03:44,289
Now you're like an inmate
on death row.
81
00:03:44,290 --> 00:03:46,557
Okay, do we have to do this?
82
00:03:46,558 --> 00:03:48,493
Appeals going,
you might get a new trial.
83
00:03:48,494 --> 00:03:50,728
Maybe they'll overturn
the death penalty.
84
00:03:50,729 --> 00:03:52,931
So you spend a lot of time
reading,
85
00:03:52,932 --> 00:03:55,366
maybe get an hour a day
in the yard.
86
00:03:55,367 --> 00:03:56,634
It's all good, right?
87
00:03:56,635 --> 00:03:59,671
I'm not hearing anything
I disagree with.
88
00:03:59,672 --> 00:04:01,789
Till one day
the chief screw calls.
89
00:04:01,790 --> 00:04:04,676
They've set a date.
Date for you to go to the chair.
90
00:04:04,677 --> 00:04:07,862
Or lethal injection.
Or lethal injection. Sure.
91
00:04:07,863 --> 00:04:12,000
Then it all becomes very real.
92
00:04:13,085 --> 00:04:14,419
Every rise of the sun,
93
00:04:14,420 --> 00:04:15,920
every tick of the clock,
94
00:04:15,921 --> 00:04:17,455
it gets closer.
95
00:04:17,456 --> 00:04:19,958
Closer to the date.
96
00:04:19,959 --> 00:04:21,359
You ready?
Aah!
97
00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:23,795
Aah!
98
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:29,801
Oh, what the hell?
99
00:04:29,802 --> 00:04:32,303
What are you doing
in my office?
100
00:04:32,304 --> 00:04:34,472
I thought I'd come by so we
could hang out a bit.
101
00:04:34,473 --> 00:04:36,107
Look, we just hung
in the diner,
102
00:04:36,108 --> 00:04:40,812
and, uh, I'm not sure
we like each other this much.
103
00:04:40,813 --> 00:04:43,381
I gotta say,
your company's Internet filter
104
00:04:43,382 --> 00:04:46,684
is pretty tough,
but check this out.
105
00:04:46,685 --> 00:04:48,586
Oh, no!
106
00:04:48,587 --> 00:04:50,354
The human body's
pretty stretchy.
107
00:04:50,355 --> 00:04:52,289
Ha-ha!
108
00:04:52,290 --> 00:04:55,360
Excuse me. Hey, Jeff,
this was in your in-box.
109
00:04:55,361 --> 00:04:57,611
Thank you.
Sasha, this is Russell.
110
00:04:57,612 --> 00:04:58,712
Hi, Russell.
Hey.
111
00:04:58,713 --> 00:05:01,933
Nice to meet you.
Oh, wow, look at this.
112
00:05:01,934 --> 00:05:03,300
This is nice.
113
00:05:03,301 --> 00:05:04,301
What is this?
114
00:05:04,302 --> 00:05:06,705
Shirt.
115
00:05:07,689 --> 00:05:08,956
You're so funny.
116
00:05:08,957 --> 00:05:11,242
A bunch of us
are going to lunch together.
117
00:05:11,243 --> 00:05:12,477
You should come.
118
00:05:12,478 --> 00:05:13,928
Got a training session
at the gym,
119
00:05:13,929 --> 00:05:15,396
but thank you.
120
00:05:15,397 --> 00:05:17,298
Oh, well,
don't work out too hard.
121
00:05:17,299 --> 00:05:18,833
You'll bust right out of that.
122
00:05:18,834 --> 00:05:20,501
Oh, I'm not gonna wear this.
123
00:05:20,502 --> 00:05:22,036
I got a T-shirt.
124
00:05:23,305 --> 00:05:24,672
Funny.
125
00:05:24,673 --> 00:05:26,107
All right, maybe next time.
126
00:05:26,108 --> 00:05:27,508
See you later.
Later.
127
00:05:27,509 --> 00:05:29,243
It was nice to meet you.
Yep.
128
00:05:30,612 --> 00:05:33,448
Dude.
129
00:05:33,449 --> 00:05:35,216
What?
130
00:05:35,217 --> 00:05:37,451
She was totally
flirting with you.
131
00:05:37,452 --> 00:05:39,186
No, she was not.
132
00:05:39,187 --> 00:05:40,304
What?
133
00:05:40,305 --> 00:05:41,673
"What's this?"
134
00:05:41,674 --> 00:05:44,208
That was such a lame excuse
to touch you.
135
00:05:44,209 --> 00:05:46,410
And, "You're gonna bust out
of that shirt."
136
00:05:46,411 --> 00:05:50,014
And, "You're so funny."
You're not funny.
137
00:05:50,015 --> 00:05:51,416
Huh.
138
00:05:51,417 --> 00:05:53,084
She must not know I'm married.
139
00:05:53,085 --> 00:05:56,821
Well, your ring is buried under
that thatch of knuckle hair.
140
00:05:56,822 --> 00:06:00,592
But there's a picture of you
and your wife right there.
141
00:06:00,593 --> 00:06:03,011
Am I guilty of something?
142
00:06:03,012 --> 00:06:04,279
No.
143
00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:08,082
This is standard
office behavior.
144
00:06:08,083 --> 00:06:10,451
A little bit of good,
harmless fun.
145
00:06:10,452 --> 00:06:13,121
But you might want to throw
the flirt back at her.
146
00:06:13,122 --> 00:06:14,238
I can do that?
Oh, yeah,
147
00:06:14,239 --> 00:06:17,308
with lines like "Shirt."
148
00:06:17,309 --> 00:06:19,477
Come on, you're married.
You're not dead.
149
00:06:19,478 --> 00:06:21,845
Hit the ball back
once in a while.
150
00:06:21,846 --> 00:06:25,249
She did kind of smell
like peaches a little.
151
00:06:25,250 --> 00:06:28,336
There you go.
That's not creepy at all.
152
00:06:34,076 --> 00:06:35,726
Timmy, how's it going?
153
00:06:35,727 --> 00:06:37,996
Sir, I've been in your employ
long enough to know
154
00:06:37,997 --> 00:06:40,731
that you don't really care.
155
00:06:40,732 --> 00:06:42,216
Exactly.
156
00:06:42,217 --> 00:06:44,285
Listen, I need you
to do something for me.
157
00:06:44,286 --> 00:06:46,421
Ah, yes, the phrase
that has launched
158
00:06:46,422 --> 00:06:48,823
some of the worst days
of my life.
159
00:06:50,893 --> 00:06:52,160
What do you need, sir?
160
00:06:52,161 --> 00:06:55,163
Listen, I had a one-night stand,
left my phone there,
161
00:06:55,164 --> 00:06:56,463
need you to go grab it.
162
00:06:56,464 --> 00:06:57,999
That should only take a minute,
163
00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:00,251
something I'm sure
she's used to by now.
164
00:07:03,822 --> 00:07:07,141
Here's the address. It's on a
little table by the front door.
165
00:07:07,142 --> 00:07:09,159
So, what's the young lady's
name?
166
00:07:13,849 --> 00:07:14,932
Stupid question.
167
00:07:14,933 --> 00:07:16,734
Yeah.
168
00:07:16,735 --> 00:07:18,203
Uh-huh.
169
00:07:18,204 --> 00:07:19,487
All right.
170
00:07:19,488 --> 00:07:20,988
I look forward to seeing you.
171
00:07:20,989 --> 00:07:22,757
Okay. Bye-bye.
172
00:07:22,758 --> 00:07:24,692
Hey, these were
on the printer for you.
173
00:07:24,693 --> 00:07:26,127
Oh, thank you.
174
00:07:26,128 --> 00:07:27,595
I'd ask how your workout was,
175
00:07:27,596 --> 00:07:29,463
but I can see that it was good.
176
00:07:29,464 --> 00:07:32,217
You can? Because today
was calf and quad day.
177
00:07:34,119 --> 00:07:36,220
Oh, uh, thank you.
178
00:07:36,221 --> 00:07:38,656
And your hair is super shiny,
179
00:07:38,657 --> 00:07:42,226
like freshly Zambonied ice.
180
00:07:43,529 --> 00:07:45,145
Thanks.
181
00:07:45,146 --> 00:07:47,732
I was beginning to wonder
if you noticed me at all.
182
00:07:47,733 --> 00:07:50,184
Well, sure I did.
I mean, I'm married.
183
00:07:50,185 --> 00:07:51,686
I'm not dead.
184
00:07:51,687 --> 00:07:55,222
No, you certainly are not.
185
00:07:55,223 --> 00:07:56,691
In fact, I think you might be
186
00:07:56,692 --> 00:07:59,594
the last real man I know.
187
00:07:59,595 --> 00:08:01,112
Thank you.
188
00:08:02,748 --> 00:08:06,617
You got a pretty nice
lady setup going there.
189
00:08:06,618 --> 00:08:08,352
Look, I'm gonna cut
to the chase.
190
00:08:08,353 --> 00:08:11,055
Anytime you wanna
get together...
191
00:08:11,056 --> 00:08:13,173
My place, a hotel.
192
00:08:13,174 --> 00:08:14,441
I'm up for it.
193
00:08:15,928 --> 00:08:18,245
You just let me know.
194
00:08:19,898 --> 00:08:21,265
I am dead.
195
00:08:30,409 --> 00:08:31,542
Welcome!
196
00:08:31,543 --> 00:08:33,594
Oh. Hello.
197
00:08:33,595 --> 00:08:36,063
Hello. How are you?
198
00:08:36,064 --> 00:08:38,449
Are you here
for the Bible study group?
199
00:08:38,450 --> 00:08:40,218
No, I'm...
I'm actually here
200
00:08:40,219 --> 00:08:42,019
just looking for, um...
201
00:08:46,241 --> 00:08:49,610
Is this 1053 Columbus Avenue,
Apartment 3G?
202
00:08:49,611 --> 00:08:50,544
It is.
203
00:08:50,545 --> 00:08:52,363
Then, yes, I am here
204
00:08:52,364 --> 00:08:53,497
for the Bible study group.
205
00:09:02,574 --> 00:09:04,408
What?
206
00:09:04,409 --> 00:09:06,176
I'm doing it. Why are you
calling me
207
00:09:06,177 --> 00:09:08,412
to tell me to do
what I'm already doing?
208
00:09:08,413 --> 00:09:12,666
Yeah, I'm stupid. I don't know
how to mail thank-you notes.
209
00:09:12,667 --> 00:09:14,401
Thank-you notes, huh?
210
00:09:14,402 --> 00:09:16,137
For our wedding gifts.
211
00:09:16,138 --> 00:09:18,956
What do you got?
Save-the-date cards.
212
00:09:18,957 --> 00:09:21,309
Pfft. Save the date.
213
00:09:21,310 --> 00:09:24,612
Heh. Oh, what I wouldn't give
to be back at save the date.
214
00:09:29,534 --> 00:09:32,402
Good luck.
215
00:09:32,403 --> 00:09:34,254
What now?
216
00:09:34,255 --> 00:09:36,423
Oh, the market.
Okay, thanks for that tip.
217
00:09:36,424 --> 00:09:38,893
I was gonna try to buy cheese
at the library.
218
00:09:53,625 --> 00:09:56,144
Uh, hello.
219
00:09:56,145 --> 00:09:57,545
You little jerk.
220
00:09:57,546 --> 00:10:00,348
I flirted back
and she offered herself to me.
221
00:10:00,349 --> 00:10:01,582
Anytime, anywhere.
222
00:10:01,583 --> 00:10:03,851
You said this was
a harmless game.
223
00:10:03,852 --> 00:10:06,370
Well, how was I to know there
was a second woman on Earth
224
00:10:06,371 --> 00:10:08,339
that would risk
getting under you?
225
00:10:08,340 --> 00:10:10,691
What am I supposed to do now?
226
00:10:10,692 --> 00:10:12,860
Just make a list of all
the things Audrey won't do
227
00:10:12,861 --> 00:10:15,596
and, uh, go bananas.
228
00:10:15,597 --> 00:10:17,831
I'm not doing anything.
I'm happily married,
229
00:10:17,832 --> 00:10:20,334
and Audrey would find out,
and then she'd kill me
230
00:10:20,335 --> 00:10:24,038
and divorce me, and I'd lose
everything she made me buy.
231
00:10:24,039 --> 00:10:25,790
How do I shut this down?
232
00:10:25,791 --> 00:10:28,393
All right, don't worry. I know
the perfect way to fix this.
233
00:10:28,394 --> 00:10:29,894
All you have to do...
234
00:10:29,895 --> 00:10:32,880
Hang on. I got another call.
One second.
235
00:10:32,881 --> 00:10:35,899
Uh, hello.
236
00:10:35,900 --> 00:10:38,669
Oh, Bible study group?
237
00:10:38,670 --> 00:10:41,205
Yes, well, it is possible
she joined today
238
00:10:41,206 --> 00:10:43,357
in response to what happened
last night.
239
00:10:45,460 --> 00:10:48,779
Regardless, your phone
was not on the table.
240
00:10:48,780 --> 00:10:52,933
Well, just, uh, ask the girl
who lives there where it is.
241
00:10:54,969 --> 00:10:56,904
Any way you can
narrow that down?
242
00:10:56,905 --> 00:10:59,774
Brownish hair, smiley,
243
00:10:59,775 --> 00:11:02,960
and a big fan
of the Russell muscle.
244
00:11:04,362 --> 00:11:05,496
Goodbye.
245
00:11:05,497 --> 00:11:07,698
Wait, no, her name, seriously,
246
00:11:07,699 --> 00:11:09,133
was, like...
247
00:11:10,602 --> 00:11:12,703
Stacy. Tracy.
248
00:11:12,704 --> 00:11:14,238
Lacey. I think.
249
00:11:14,239 --> 00:11:15,907
Stacy? Tracy?
250
00:11:15,908 --> 00:11:18,292
Lacey? Oh, brilliant.
251
00:11:27,185 --> 00:11:30,404
I have a feeling
I'm forgetting something.
252
00:11:35,877 --> 00:11:37,711
Oh, this is such
a lovely apartment.
253
00:11:37,712 --> 00:11:40,014
I really must compliment
whoever lives here.
254
00:11:40,015 --> 00:11:41,999
Oh, well, thank you.
That would be me.
255
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:43,634
Oh, great, I'm Timmy.
I'm Meghan.
256
00:11:43,635 --> 00:11:46,837
Meghan. Not even close.
257
00:11:46,838 --> 00:11:47,955
Excuse me?
Nothing.
258
00:11:47,956 --> 00:11:49,473
Real pleasure meeting you.
259
00:11:49,474 --> 00:11:51,909
Now, look, this is a somewhat
delicate matter,
260
00:11:51,910 --> 00:11:54,812
but one I feel we can handle
most discreetly.
261
00:11:54,813 --> 00:11:57,064
See, it does seem as though...
262
00:11:57,065 --> 00:11:58,665
Hey, sweetie.
I'm sorry I'm late.
263
00:11:58,666 --> 00:12:02,336
Hi, honey. Timmy,
this is Miles, my fiancé.
264
00:12:02,337 --> 00:12:03,621
Your fiancé.
265
00:12:03,622 --> 00:12:05,856
Yes, we just got engaged
last week.
266
00:12:05,857 --> 00:12:07,091
Just last week.
267
00:12:07,092 --> 00:12:08,559
Wow.
268
00:12:08,560 --> 00:12:11,979
It just keeps getting better.
269
00:12:11,980 --> 00:12:13,998
You wanted to see me, Jeff?
270
00:12:13,999 --> 00:12:15,566
Yes.
Oh, well, good.
271
00:12:15,567 --> 00:12:17,335
I wanted to see you too.
272
00:12:17,336 --> 00:12:19,670
Yes, about that.
273
00:12:21,122 --> 00:12:23,424
I think we had a little
misunderstanding
274
00:12:23,425 --> 00:12:28,079
earlier today with the, uh,
Zamboni hair and whatnot,
275
00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:30,631
and I just wanted to make it
perfectly clear...
276
00:12:30,632 --> 00:12:32,549
Hey, Jeff.
Oh, Audrey. Jeez.
277
00:12:32,550 --> 00:12:34,018
Hey.
Mwah.
278
00:12:34,019 --> 00:12:35,936
Hello.
Hi.
279
00:12:35,937 --> 00:12:37,721
Hi. I'm Audrey,
Jeff's wife.
280
00:12:37,722 --> 00:12:39,256
Sasha.
I work down the hall.
281
00:12:39,257 --> 00:12:40,591
Way down the hall,
282
00:12:40,592 --> 00:12:43,461
so we don't see much
of each other.
283
00:12:43,462 --> 00:12:45,112
Okay, so you ready to go?
284
00:12:45,113 --> 00:12:47,164
Yes, ready to go.
Okay.
285
00:12:47,165 --> 00:12:48,299
Uh, where?
286
00:12:48,300 --> 00:12:50,734
I texted you.
The doctor.
287
00:12:50,735 --> 00:12:53,004
Yes, doctor.
Fertility doctor.
288
00:12:53,005 --> 00:12:55,406
Hm.
Gonna make a baby with my wife.
289
00:12:55,407 --> 00:12:56,724
Oh, wow.
Congratulations.
290
00:12:56,725 --> 00:12:58,792
Thank you.
It's nice to meet you.
291
00:12:58,793 --> 00:13:01,045
I'm gonna use the ladies' room.
I'll go.
292
00:13:01,046 --> 00:13:03,347
I-I got this one.
293
00:13:03,348 --> 00:13:06,300
I'm sure you'll be fine.
294
00:13:06,301 --> 00:13:08,886
I'll meet you at the elevator.
295
00:13:08,887 --> 00:13:11,772
And there she goes.
My wife.
296
00:13:11,773 --> 00:13:14,659
Married her at a wedding.
297
00:13:14,660 --> 00:13:17,611
Well, so, you know.
298
00:13:17,612 --> 00:13:19,413
I do know.
Good.
299
00:13:19,414 --> 00:13:21,832
Almost getting caught
300
00:13:21,833 --> 00:13:24,334
makes it even hotter.
301
00:13:25,370 --> 00:13:27,038
Call me.
302
00:13:30,375 --> 00:13:33,877
Damn you, calves and quads.
303
00:13:41,486 --> 00:13:42,552
Oh, hold it!
304
00:13:42,553 --> 00:13:43,553
Hey.
Hey.
305
00:13:43,554 --> 00:13:44,889
How was your appointment?
306
00:13:44,890 --> 00:13:47,691
It was good. Good. The doctor
was really optimistic.
307
00:13:47,692 --> 00:13:49,293
Great.
Yeah. I'm excited,
308
00:13:49,294 --> 00:13:51,061
although the whole thing
is scary.
309
00:13:51,062 --> 00:13:54,080
Yeah, like, what if the baby has
a really big head like Jeff?
310
00:13:54,081 --> 00:13:55,616
Why is that scary?
311
00:13:55,617 --> 00:13:58,218
Well...you know.
312
00:13:59,670 --> 00:14:00,655
Oh.
313
00:14:01,673 --> 00:14:04,041
Goodbye, natural childbirth.
314
00:14:04,042 --> 00:14:06,110
Anyway, you and Adam
finally set a date.
315
00:14:06,111 --> 00:14:07,511
You must be so excited.
316
00:14:07,512 --> 00:14:09,246
We're both really psyched.
317
00:14:16,705 --> 00:14:19,056
I tried to tell you this
in person.
318
00:14:19,057 --> 00:14:20,524
"Perseverance"?
319
00:14:20,525 --> 00:14:23,560
No! Stop finishing my words
for me.
320
00:14:23,561 --> 00:14:26,363
"Person.
321
00:14:28,166 --> 00:14:30,134
"But I don't want this
to happen ever.
322
00:14:30,135 --> 00:14:32,669
"Let's just forget it
and never mention it again.
323
00:14:32,670 --> 00:14:34,138
Jeff."
324
00:14:34,139 --> 00:14:36,039
Send.
325
00:14:57,579 --> 00:14:59,914
Uh, hello.
326
00:14:59,915 --> 00:15:03,634
Sir, I need you to
call your phone so I can locate it.
327
00:15:03,635 --> 00:15:06,119
I've tried, but it goes
straight to voicemail.
328
00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:08,139
Oh, yeah, sometimes
I block your number,
329
00:15:08,140 --> 00:15:10,457
because I get tired
of the "guvnor"
330
00:15:10,458 --> 00:15:15,495
and the "blimey" and the "shrimp
on the barbie" routine.
331
00:15:15,496 --> 00:15:17,231
I'm from South Africa.
332
00:15:17,232 --> 00:15:20,951
Just call your phone!
333
00:15:24,138 --> 00:15:26,507
Oh, hey, man.
I gotta talk to you.
334
00:15:26,508 --> 00:15:28,475
I am...
I am freaking out here.
335
00:15:28,476 --> 00:15:30,210
I was thinking about
what you said
336
00:15:30,211 --> 00:15:33,180
about me and Jen, right? And...
And you're still single...
337
00:15:33,181 --> 00:15:34,832
Oh, hold that thought.
Me first.
338
00:15:34,833 --> 00:15:37,451
I just have to call my cell
so Timmy can find it.
339
00:15:37,452 --> 00:15:39,687
Because I had a little
rendezvous last night
340
00:15:39,688 --> 00:15:41,154
with a little chicky.
341
00:15:41,155 --> 00:15:43,790
I don't remember her name,
but that's not important.
342
00:15:43,791 --> 00:15:47,394
Anyway, I snuck out of there
this morning,
343
00:15:47,395 --> 00:15:49,163
and the light of day
was not her friend.
344
00:15:49,164 --> 00:15:50,898
It was ra-ra-rough.
345
00:15:50,899 --> 00:15:53,784
Regardless,
I left my phone there,
346
00:15:53,785 --> 00:15:56,620
Which is a drag, because there's
a number in there
347
00:15:56,621 --> 00:15:58,506
of this chick that got booted
out of Vassar
348
00:15:58,507 --> 00:16:00,207
for binge-drinking.
349
00:16:00,208 --> 00:16:03,760
Dude, this is the kind of stuff
you're giving up.
350
00:16:12,854 --> 00:16:15,389
So even though
it's an obvious choice,
351
00:16:15,390 --> 00:16:16,791
John 3:16 is the passage
352
00:16:16,792 --> 00:16:19,176
by which I've chosen
to live my life.
353
00:16:20,728 --> 00:16:22,362
Amen, brother. Amen.
354
00:16:23,864 --> 00:16:26,066
Okay, Timmy, you're up.
355
00:16:27,669 --> 00:16:28,869
Hm.
356
00:16:32,106 --> 00:16:34,708
My ears are a bit off.
Did anyone hear a phone ring?
357
00:16:34,709 --> 00:16:36,160
No.
358
00:16:36,161 --> 00:16:37,445
No, I didn't hear a thing.
359
00:16:37,446 --> 00:16:41,214
I feel like
I'm forgetting something.
360
00:16:41,215 --> 00:16:43,317
Very well.
361
00:16:47,455 --> 00:16:49,323
Oh...
362
00:16:51,877 --> 00:16:54,711
Well, uh, to be honest,
this is a bit tricky
363
00:16:54,712 --> 00:16:56,697
because Terry took mine.
364
00:16:58,366 --> 00:17:00,434
The bit where God creates
the Earth is good.
365
00:17:00,435 --> 00:17:01,602
Six days, well done.
366
00:17:04,089 --> 00:17:06,824
And, um, Adam and Eve.
367
00:17:06,825 --> 00:17:10,343
What can we say
about those nudists?
368
00:17:11,613 --> 00:17:12,896
Saucy.
369
00:17:15,216 --> 00:17:17,150
And, um...
370
00:17:17,919 --> 00:17:19,703
Uh...
371
00:17:21,623 --> 00:17:25,626
♪ Silent night ♪
372
00:17:26,545 --> 00:17:30,330
♪ Holy night ♪
373
00:17:32,233 --> 00:17:36,002
♪ All is calm ♪
374
00:17:36,003 --> 00:17:37,187
Timmy?
Yes?
375
00:17:37,188 --> 00:17:38,055
What are you doing?
376
00:17:38,056 --> 00:17:39,640
All right,
377
00:17:39,641 --> 00:17:41,475
the truth is,
378
00:17:41,476 --> 00:17:44,544
my boss left his cell phone here
last night,
379
00:17:44,545 --> 00:17:48,816
and he sent me to retrieve it.
380
00:17:48,817 --> 00:17:50,434
Wait, you had a man here
last night?
381
00:17:50,435 --> 00:17:51,702
Well...
382
00:17:51,703 --> 00:17:53,404
Well, yes, I did, but...
383
00:17:53,405 --> 00:17:54,254
You Jezebel.
384
00:17:54,255 --> 00:17:56,190
No, Miles, I am just a woman
with needs.
385
00:17:56,191 --> 00:17:57,957
We made a promise.
386
00:17:57,958 --> 00:18:01,161
My fingers were crossed.
Obviously your legs weren't.
387
00:18:04,149 --> 00:18:06,883
As always, perfect timing, sir.
388
00:18:06,884 --> 00:18:09,153
Pleasure meeting you all,
really.
389
00:18:09,154 --> 00:18:11,155
Lovely. And, um,
390
00:18:11,156 --> 00:18:14,458
congratulations again
on your engagement,
391
00:18:14,459 --> 00:18:15,792
if that's still, uh...
392
00:18:15,793 --> 00:18:16,726
Good night.
393
00:18:23,801 --> 00:18:25,235
Hey, hon.
394
00:18:25,236 --> 00:18:26,820
How could you?
395
00:18:26,821 --> 00:18:28,472
How could you?
396
00:18:28,473 --> 00:18:30,173
How could I what?
397
00:18:30,174 --> 00:18:31,108
A text?
398
00:18:31,109 --> 00:18:33,010
You tell me in a text?
399
00:18:33,011 --> 00:18:34,795
I don't know
what you're talking...
400
00:18:34,796 --> 00:18:37,715
You don't wanna have a baby?
What? Who said that?
401
00:18:37,716 --> 00:18:39,800
You did.
402
00:18:39,801 --> 00:18:41,568
"I don't want this
to happen ever.
403
00:18:41,569 --> 00:18:44,704
Let's just forget it and never
mention it again. Jeff"
404
00:18:44,705 --> 00:18:47,341
Oh, no.
No, no, no, no!
405
00:18:47,342 --> 00:18:49,610
That was a mistake.
406
00:18:49,611 --> 00:18:51,511
Yes. Yes, it was.
407
00:18:51,512 --> 00:18:53,346
Come on, you couldn't
have had the guts
408
00:18:53,347 --> 00:18:54,848
just to tell me to my face?
409
00:18:54,849 --> 00:18:56,266
No, you don't understand.
410
00:18:56,267 --> 00:18:59,169
That text was meant
for somebody else.
411
00:19:01,272 --> 00:19:02,856
It was?
Yes.
412
00:19:02,857 --> 00:19:04,992
Yes, you know how bad I am
at texting.
413
00:19:04,993 --> 00:19:06,293
It's...
414
00:19:06,294 --> 00:19:09,779
It's these damn giant
gorilla paws!
415
00:19:13,367 --> 00:19:15,469
So you do want to have a baby?
Yes. Of course.
416
00:19:15,470 --> 00:19:17,003
I'm totally into having a baby.
417
00:19:17,004 --> 00:19:20,908
Even two, if the first one
doesn't ruin our lives.
418
00:19:20,909 --> 00:19:23,076
Really?
419
00:19:23,077 --> 00:19:24,311
Yes, really.
420
00:19:24,312 --> 00:19:25,479
Oh!
421
00:19:28,699 --> 00:19:30,533
Feel better?
Yeah.
422
00:19:30,534 --> 00:19:32,102
Yeah?
423
00:19:32,103 --> 00:19:33,636
Good.
424
00:19:33,637 --> 00:19:35,555
That was rough.
425
00:19:36,858 --> 00:19:37,557
I need a beer.
426
00:19:40,511 --> 00:19:42,162
So who was that text
supposed to go to?
427
00:19:44,749 --> 00:19:47,067
That's a whole nether story.
428
00:19:47,068 --> 00:19:49,853
And, uh, I wanna tell you.
429
00:19:49,854 --> 00:19:51,254
But first...
430
00:19:55,176 --> 00:19:56,543
Ah.
431
00:19:57,812 --> 00:19:59,697
You're gonna laugh.
432
00:20:07,872 --> 00:20:09,039
What are those?
433
00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:10,307
Our save-the-date cards.
434
00:20:10,308 --> 00:20:12,375
You know,
what's missing on these?
435
00:20:15,547 --> 00:20:17,114
Stamps.
436
00:20:17,115 --> 00:20:18,565
Yes.
437
00:20:18,566 --> 00:20:19,799
But that's okay.
438
00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:22,936
We'll try again
tomorrow with...?
439
00:20:22,937 --> 00:20:25,121
Stamps.
440
00:20:28,977 --> 00:20:30,410
You know what this means.
441
00:20:30,411 --> 00:20:31,828
Ah. No, what?
442
00:20:31,829 --> 00:20:33,997
You're still on death row,
443
00:20:33,998 --> 00:20:35,382
and the date has been set.
444
00:20:35,383 --> 00:20:37,117
But what's this?
445
00:20:37,118 --> 00:20:38,669
The phone rings.
446
00:20:38,670 --> 00:20:40,203
Who could it be?
447
00:20:40,204 --> 00:20:43,790
Oh, my God, it's the governor.
448
00:20:45,743 --> 00:20:47,994
What does he want?
30609
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