All language subtitles for Its.Always.Sunny.in.Philadelphia.S03E06.The.Aluminum.Monster.vs.Fatty.Magoo.480p.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264

That's a good shirt, Charlie, I like it.
You should buy that.

- You like it?
- Yeah.

- Okay, stand a little to your left, please?
- Why?

- Dee, just, a little bit to your left.
- Why, Charlie?

So I can steal it.

No, you're not going to steal it,
just buy the shirt.

Dee, it's fine. It doesn't even have,
like, the exploding ink thing on it.

- We're good.
- Oh, great news.

I'm not getting arrested with you,
so buy it.

What is the point?

The point is that you have, like,
four articles of clothing,

and that's it for years and years
and years now, so buy something new.

All right, first of all,
this place is a rip-off, okay?

Secondly, someone should teach these people
how to do a decent hem, don't you think?

Oh, are you unsatisfied with that hem?

Very unsatisfied with the hem.

What do you know about hems, Charlie?

I've been sewing my clothes back together
for, like, almost my entire life.

I think I know a thing or
two about a hem, Dee, all right?

- Well, that's just sad.
- Well, it's not sad,

it's a very valuable skill set,
so, you know...

- Just try the shirt on and buy it.
- All right.

Shut up!

Shut up! Dee Reynolds?

Yeah.

Ingrid...

Nelson from high school.

Ingrid Nelson?

Yeah.

You look so different.
What happened to all of the fat parts?

I lost them.
I lost a ton of weight.

And look at you, you look so beautiful.

You don't have that hideously ugly,
disgusting back brace anymore.

Yeah. Yeah.

God, we were such losers in high school.

Do you remember what
people used to call us?

- I don't remember.
- The Aluminum Monster and Fatty McGoo.

Yeah, that was it.

- Remember?
- Yeah.

- You were the Aluminum Monster.
- Yes.

- I was Fatty McGoo.
- Mm-hmm, yes.

Hey, do you remember how you used
to say that you were going

to be famous and have
your own clothing line?

- Did I say that?
- Oh, my God, every day.

Every day, it was famous actress
this and famous model that,

and all the kids did was laugh at you.

That is a good memory.

Well, no, I mean, it inspired me.

I thought to myself, "If the Aluminum
Monster can do it, then so can I."

- Oh.
- Dee, you're in my store!

- This is your store?
- Yes.

- All this, yours.
- Yeah, I know.

Hey, so, did you... ever do any...
are you a model now?

Are you... did you...?

Well, yeah, yeah.

- Yeah?
- Not, not... yeah.

Not right now, because I'm shopping.

- And did you go to law school?
- Oh, my God, I did.

- You did?
- Yeah, for a little while. I loved it.

- You must be so busy.
- I'm so busy.

So busy that I have to go, but
it was really excellent to see you.

Oh, it was so good to see you, too.

I would love to hang out...
Oh, congratulations. Hang out?

We're gonna hang out. We're gonna
do that. We're gonna do all of that.

Okay.

Charlie. You're not gonna believe this.

I just ran into the biggest loser from
my high school and she owns this store.

- Really?
- Yeah, I used to say all this stuff about,

you know, how I was going to be
big and famous to keep her down.

- Oh, yeah.
- But it just, it did the opposite.

It, like, inspired her or something,
which is terrible.

I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what.
Calm down, calm down.

Here's what you do, all right?

Pop on a couple things, slip them on,
we'll just walk right out of here.

No, no, that's not good enough.
I've got to beat her at her own game.

Charlie...

I got a fatty to take down.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Season 3 Episode 05

Transcript: swsub.com

Synch: www.italiansubs.net

Say, how's your design coming along?

I can't believe you stole that shirt.

Oh, come on, I steal lots of things.

You don't have to get all huffy about
it. Let me take a look here.

- No, it's not ready for looking.
- Let me take

- a little look-see and then I'll, like...
- No!

Charlie, I'm not ready.

What are you guys working on over there?

Dee's designing a dress to put
her old nerd friend back in her place.

- Oh, which nerd friend?
- The fat one.

Ingrid Nelson.

Ingrid... oh, Fatty McGoo?

Oh, your old sidekick.
What's she been up to?

Well, she owns her own,
like, clothing store now, right.

So, Dee's making a dress.
I'm going to help her sew it,

because, according to Dee,
I'm a loser, too. Did you know this?

But, Sweet Dee, being a winner
is not something that you can become,

it's something that you're
kind of born with.

- Like me.
- Like us.

Like me.

- All right, let me take a look at this.
- No, hold on...

I feel like you're going to
make fun of it, it's not done.

It's not done yet.

When did... is this...

- Oh, no.
- What is... is it a boat?

- No, it's...
- It a boat with a triangle in it.

No, there's a cup and a straw.

- Oh, it's a...
- It's a cocktail dress.

- That's a strap.
- Is it a raincoat?

- It's not a raincoat!
- Oh, no, no, that a plug. It's a lightbulb.

- Oh, I see that.
- No, in my head, it's very... it's elegant.

I'm having a hard time putting it out
on paper what I'm seeing.

Through your hands? Because... have
your hands been smashed with hammers?

What is wrong with you?

So you're definitely not going to be
putting anybody in their place

- with a drawing like this.
- No. No.

Here, let me give it a shot here.

Yeah, Dennis, take a stab at it.

Okay, I'm going to
start with the breasts.

Naturally.
Come on.

- Right, okay.
- Oh, those are beautiful.

- Big, bountiful... I would say so.
- Gorgeous, right?

- Do you see?
- Yeah, that is some good...

Now we move on to the waist.
Delicate, precise.

Damn, dude, you can draw. I'm getting
kind of, like, a little flustered here.

Yeah, well, that's understandable.

- She's a nice-looking lady.
- Dude, I'll tell you what, dude.

How about I take this sketch, right,
and then I talk to Frank

about, you know, a really
good sewing machine.

- And then I whip up a prototype...
- Oh, of my designs?

- Yes.
- What? You dick.

Charlie, come on.
I thought we were a team.

Relax, I'm still going to help you make
your raincoat with the straw on it.

It's not a raincoat!

No one's going to buy... what is this?
This woman doesn't even have a ribcage.

It doesn't matter, Dee,
because winners always win.

You're not a winner, Dennis.

You're not a winner because you
used to be popular in high school,

but I think you peaked.

"Peaked"?

"Peaked," Dee?

Let me tell you something.
I haven't even begun to peak.

And when I do peak, you'll know.

Because I'm going to peak so hard,

that everybody in Philadelphia
is going to feel it.

I'm in my prime.

And I bet you that I could sell
these dresses to Fatty McGoo

just based on these sketches alone.

And your loser friend is going to
buy them because she's a fatty.

And that's just the way of the world.

All I have to do is turn on
my winning charm,

and Fatty McGoo will
be putty in my hands.

'Cause us winners always win.

He wasn't talking about you.

I think he was.

- It's too streaky.
- Where?

Everywhere! Fix it.

Well, I'm trying, Frank.

I've never spray painted
a chair before, okay?

Why are you covering your mouth?

Because that lead paint
is extremely toxic.

What? Is that why I'm feeling so dizzy?

Hey, all I'm hearing is excuses.
And I still have a blotchy chair.

Wait a second, wait a second.
What am I saying? What am I doing here?

You're making my chair look
like it was dipped in gold.

Now get back to work.

Nobody is stupid enough to think
that your chair was dipped in gold,

Frank, okay? Why am I helping you?

Because I'm manipulating you.

That's the way I get people
to do things for me.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Shit, that's awesome.
How did you do that?

If you make my chair look
really nice, I will tell you.

Deal.

- I got it.
- A drink, yes, good, good, good.

Excellent, listen, man. I need to use
your business connections

to see if I can get like
a really cheap sewing machine.

Why?

Well, 'cause Dennis and I are gonna
make a dress, see if we can sell it.

You're gonna go in the garment business?

No, dude. I'm not going into
the garment business, okay?

I'm just gonna make one
single dress with Dennis.

Who's gonna run the operation?

It's not an operation, dude.

Look, I just want your help
getting a sewing machine.

Whoa. Wait.

Has that chair been dipped in gold?

So we would cinch it up nice and
tight through the waist, giving

a nice subtle lift to the top of
the dress and keeping those

fat tummies in check. Gorgeous.

- Okay, Dennis, I'm confused.
- Why's that?

These are just pictures of
women with giant breasts.

Yeah.

And, in some of these sketches,
the women aren't even wearing clothes.

Yes.

Well... why?

Listen, let me level with you.

You're an attractive enough girl.
I mean, certainly you've got some

potential, all right?

There's no reason for you
to be so nervous around me.

Why don't you just order a
couple of my dresses and...

maybe, if you're lucky, I'll even
make one special just for you.

And if you look good enough in it, hell,

I might even consider
having sex with you.

How does that sound?

Terrible.

All right. Let's just calm down.

You're, you're having a reaction,
that's understandable.

It's the nerd in you talking.
Why don't we start over?

How many of my dresses
would you like to order?

None. Not one.

Okay, well.

I'm not gonna take "no"
for an answer, because I,

I just refuse to do that,
because I'm a winner.

And winners, we don't listen
to words like "no", or

or "don't" or "stop!". Those words
are just not in our vocabulary.

I know what you need.

You need to see my
dress on a model.

I'll tell you what.

I'm gonna come back tomorrow...

- with a model.
- Please don't do that.

Save your breath, Ingrid.
Those words have never worked on me.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Look, I'm so confused.

Why does she have light bulbs
growing out of her neck?

Light bulbs? What?
Those are shoulder pads.

- What?
- Yeah!

Nah, you know what?
I'll walk you through it.

No. I don't even wanna...

Look, why don't you just help
me make Dennis' designs?

Because Dennis' designs are terrible.

- I enjoy them.
- I know you do, Charlie.

I walked in and saw you enjoying
them very much this morning.

Oh, this again. This again... I told
you I was scratching myself, Dee!

You were scratching hard
and very vigorously, so...

No, that's 'cause that's
the only way I can...

Oh, boy. It must have really itched.

All right, all right, fine.
What... What is this thing?

That's Dennis's prototype.

- Be careful with that.
- No, I know it's the prototype,

- but I don't get how it works.
- Dee!

You're asking a million
questions! All right, look, look,

okay, I'm just gonna walk
you through it, all right?

- Yes, thank you.
- So pay attention.

Okay, look, the pretty lady
gets naked, of course,

and I help her into
the prototype, yes?

Uh, my hands sort of guiding along her
body, making sure that it fits properly.

Now the dress is starting to
look fantastic, you know, and

and she feels very excited.

She feels very sensual and I
feel very sensual about her

because she looks so good.

And then, you know, we chitchat
a little bit, no big deal,

but she asks me back to her place.
Where did that come from?

I accept, you know, and then,
you know, we chitchat at her place.

It's no big deal, but
eventually, she says, you know,

"Do you wanna make love, Charlie?"

- Oh, God.
- And I say, "Are you serious?

Because yes, I do".
And, and, and then just "boom"...

we're into it and it's
hot and it's passionate,

- and then...
- Charlie.

And then it's just
me and you babe,

- like, all night long.
- Oh, my God.

- And I satisfy her so many times,
- Charlie.

- she starts screaming my name...
- Charlie.

- "Charlie," she says...
- Charlie!

"Charlie," she says,
"Charlie", she says...

Charlie! Jesus!

Dee!

What are you... I thought
you had walked back over...

- No, I've been standing here the whole time.
- Look, I was in the middle of a...

- Are you gonna help me with this or not?
- I'm trying to...

What are you doing?
'Cause you're looking pretty...

- All right...
- Oh, Jesus, I'm gonna do it myself.

I gotta say, Frank, I'm really
happy about this partition.

I can't tell you how many
memories this brings back.

- Yeah?
- This is exactly the way

I ran my sweatshops.

- Is it?
- Yes.

- You have to separate them from us.
- Right.

- They need to be trained.
- Right, okay.

- Yeah, I got an idea. I got an idea, okay?
- Trained.

- I wanna play music in there.
- Yeah?

'Cause I think it'll keep them
happy and motivated and

- and they'll work harder.
- No, no, no, no, no, Mac.

You gotta break them.

- You gotta break them like dogs.
- Break them.

- Yeah.
- Break them like dogs.

You, you wanna learn
about manipulation?

- Yes, yes.
- All right, this is it, all right, here.

First rule of manipulation is
you gotta show them who is boss.

You gotta rant! And
rave and yell at people!

Then... they find
their place. That's it.

Everyone, gather around. I
have an announcement to make.

Dennis has an announcement. Go.

- Now's your chance. Rant and rave.
- Now, now's my chance.

Gather around, everybody.
Everybody, gather around, please!

We're all standing here.

- Is this everybody?
- Is this everybody?

You know it's everybody.
What are you doing?

Dennis has an announcement.

Yeah, I-I heard that.
I'm wondering what it is.

- It's an announcement.
- What's up, Dennis?

I have an announcement.

- Oh, my God, what is it?
- Quiet on the floor, please. Dennis...

- your announcement.
- Thank you.

I think everyone will be pleased to learn
that we have just received our first order.

That's amazing! I can't believe they placed
an order before they saw the prototype.

Well, believe it, Charlie,
'cause that's what just happened.

What the hell did Fatty Magoo
like about your sketches?

Shut up! How many did they order?

- Twenty-five.
- Twenty-five?

25 dresses, that's right.
Charlie, do you have my prototype?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey,
hey, hey, any more of those sketches?

You know, maybe like one where, like,
the lady's, like, looking right at you.

Stop talking to me.

All right, everyone, I want those dresses.
Now, I don't care how you do it...

just make it work.

- You heard the man, make it work!
- You heard our designer.

Ladies and gentlemen, back to
your stations, let's make it work!

No. No, I'm not going to make it
work. I'm designing my own clothes.

I'm supposed to be the one
who's beating Fatty Magoo.

- Mac, take care of this.
- Okay. Dee, can I talk to you for a second?

Look, I know what you're trying to do,
you wanna show this girl what's what.

I get that and I think if you just
buckle down and join the team...

Mac, I'm gonna stop you right there.

First of all, your breath smells like an
old lady fart passing through an onion.

Secondly, I know you're trying to
manipulate me, and it's not going to work.

Get your hand off my shoulder,
because I've got a fatty to burn.

She's gonna be here any minute.

Can we get this thing tighter? Can
we lift these up a little bit? My God!

Are you sure this is the right size?

The dress is the right size; I wish I
could say the same thing about your body.

I mean, my God, what, did you eat
the entire kitchen cupboard today?

- What's wrong with my body?
- So many things! I mean, your breasts,

- they're like tiny, your gut is huge.
- I wear a D cup!

Well, you're just lying about that. All
right, um, take this gut and suck it in.

- What gut?
- Suck the gut in before I scream.

How did you get into my office?

Ah, well, how does anyone get in anywhere,
Ingrid? A little hard work and persistence.

Did you kick in my door?

I intend to kick down a
lot of doors today, Ingrid.

Now, you're gonna have to use
your imagination a little bit

because my model is a
little on the... side.

- But tell me what you see.
- Well, I see a man

committing a felony by breaking into
my office and destroying my property.

I also see a very confused and
uncomfortable model, who seems to be stuffed

into an ill-fitting garbage bag.

Mm-hmm... Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm...
I see what you're saying, yes.

You're saying that you love the
dress, but you hate this model.

- She hates the dress, you freak.
- Silence your mouth!

She cannot properly see the dress
because your disgusting body's ruining it.

- I can't believe I let you see me naked.
- Well, that was... part of the...

All right, I'm calling the police.

No. No, no. Ingrid, there's no
need to call the police, okay?

Because the only crime that's being
committed today... is the crime of ugliness.

And, sadly, you can't
press charges for that.

You know what? I'm just gonna have
to come back next time with a model...

with a perfect body.

You've been a disappointment.
Shame on you.

No, no, no. Shit. Hold on a second.

Look at this. Beyond our wildest dreams.
Everything working out, huh, Mac?

- This is brilliant, Frank.
- It's going smooth.

How you doing with Charlie?

- Did you break him like a dog yet?
- Almost.

I've changed his diet to only dry food and he
is no longer allowed on any of the furniture.

Good. What about Deandra?

Oh... Not so good. She's
still causing problems.

You're gonna have to take
care of this right away.

- Oh, goddamn it. Come on, just go straight.
- Dee. Dee! Dee, come on!

I feel like it's
broken or something.

It's not broken. You're
just messing with it.

- I'm not messing with it. I'm just trying...
- You're punching in and...

- Don't stomp on the pedal like that, Dee!
- How do these people...?

- Who are these women?
- They're Eastern European women.

I have no idea where Frank got
them, but they are very good sewers.

- You should ask them how to sew. Okay?
- They smell like sausage.

They do smell like sausage, though.

- It's terrible. That's what it is!
- Right?

Charlie, shh!

- Dee, I need a word.
- Get out of here.

- What are you working on?
- It's my dress, you know that.

Did we not have a conversation
about this, Deandra?

- The dress does not fit the prototype.
- I don't give a shit.

- Come on, Dee, don't rock the boat here.
- Shh! Charlie, I can handle this.

No, I'm on your side here, man...

- I'm just trying to say...
- Charlie, sit.

- Don't tell me to sit, dude.
- You want a treat?

I think I got some jerky here in my...
Oh! I do have some jerky in my pocket.

- You want some? Yeah?
- Yeah. Yeah.

- You sure you want some?
- Yeah.

- Wait for it. Sit.
- Yeah.

Shake. Speak.

Uh, I would like some jerky, please.

Good boy.

Ha-ha! He caught it.
He catches it every time.

Hey, hey, hey, you want
a piece of jerky?

- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.

You're supposed to be a
goddamn modeling agency

and this is the best you've got?

I mean, I... I ask you to send me
models who are attractive...

pictures of girls that have bodies like
Oompa Loompas and hippopotamuses...

I can't talk to you people.
I can't... Mmm, mmm, mmm!

How hard is it to find an attractive model
in the city of Philadelphia, I mean...

Hey-oh!

Guess what, buddy! We did it!

- We filled the order!
- What order?

The dresses, dude... 25.
Pretty efficient, huh?

Yeah. Just, uh, put them...
put them by the door or something.

Okay. Hey!

You want me to help you
bring them to the store?

No!

No. I don't want you to ever
go to the store... ever!

Why not? Something wrong?

No. E... Everything's great.
Everything's...

perfect.

Then why don't you want
me to go to the store?

'Cause you're busy.

I'm not busy.
I actually have a pretty...

clear docket for the next couple of...

No, you're so busy 'cause
uh, we just got another order.

We did? For how many?

A hundred.

A hundred?

We got an order for a hundred dresses?

Oh, my God, that's fantastic!

We gotta kick it up a notch.

Dee, come here.
Where the hell have you been?

It's only 9:00 in the morning.

Oh, my God, I've been here since 5:00.

- What?
- Dee, things have changed around here.

They're running this place
like a concentration camp.

I mean, we shouldn't even
be talking right now.

I think you gotta sit down
and get to work, Dee.

It's bad, the situation is bad.

Oh, my God.

They're watching us, Dee.

They're always watching us.

What do you think they're
saying out there, Frank?

I don't know, but I don't like it.

The German war propaganda
was a nice idea.

Wait till you hear the steam whistle.

Charlie, where's my dress?

Charlie!

I left it right here. Where is it?

- Look, this...
- Did you do something with my dress?

- What did you do? Where is it?
- Just go back to work, all right?

Tell me, you son of a bitch.

I'm not supposed to say!

Is that a steam whistle?

What the hell's going on over there?

Everything's fine.

What happened to my dress?

It was destroyed and the
materials were distributed

- amongst the workers.
- What?

You guys, how could
you do that to me?

I worked forever on that dress.

- The dress did not fit the prototype.
- It didn't fit the prototype, Dee.

Screw the prototype!
What are you talking about?

Now I have to start all over.

I'm afraid not, Deandra.

We're gonna have to let her go.

- You heard the man, Dee. Get off the floor!
- Oh, my God.

- Off the floor now, Dee!
- You know what?

- Dee, off the floor!
- Ladies!

We're outta here! We don't
need this! Let's go!

- Got a whole box of knockwurst up there.
- Deandra.

- A big pot of it.
- Deandra.

- Why do they listen to her, Frank?
- What are you doing?

I'm staging a strike. Let's go!

I'm pulling it again!
I'm pulling it again!

- Back to work! Back to work!
- Keep going! Keep going!

You can do it, Dennis,
because you're a winner.

You haven't peaked.

You haven't even begun to peak,
but you're gonna peak today.

Oh, you're gonna peak
all over everybody.

Make it work, Dennis.

Make it work.

There she is.

Dee, what are you doing?

I'm having you arrested for slave labor.

- Slave labor?
- Yes.

What the hell are you talking about?

You bought some dresses
from my brother, Dennis,

that were made in a sweatshop
in the basement of our bar.

Do not listen to a word this woman says.
She is stark, raving mad.

She's a goddamn lunatic, okay?

Those dresses were made
by voluntary laborers

who work for us
on their own free will

to feed their starving families
in their home countries.

- In a sweatshop.
- No. Not a sweatshop.

- It is a sweatshop, which makes you
- A working factory.

the biggest loser, Fatty McGoo.

I didn't buy anything
from your insane brother.

- Really?
- What?

- Really.
- So, let me get this straight.

Dennis has been lying
to us the whole time?

I don't know and I don't care.

Wait a second... Fatty McGoo.

Are you Ingrid Nelson?

- Yes.
- No shit! I'm Mark Dunlap.

I knew you in high school.
Wow. You look terrific.

Thanks.

And that would make you the
Aluminum Monster... oh, man!

- You were all jacketed up, huh?
- I don't remember.

Remember that? With the back brace...

and all that metal... I mean,
you were like... you were like...

an aluminum monster.
That really was the best name for it.

The only name for it, really.

- You were so cute.
- Awww... thanks.

It was a lot of metal, man. Hey, hey,

I used to know your brother.

Now, he was a pretty cool guy.
Whatever happened to him?

Behold a winner in all his...

Holy shit.

What are you guys doing here?