All language subtitles for batman.the.brave.and.the.bold.s03e13.mite.fall.1080p.bluray

I declare, Mary, with that War Between
the States nonsense behind us,

it feels good to laugh again.

John Wilkes Booth.
Halt, you insidious secessionist.

Ooh!

You're safe now, Mr. President.

Why, who are you?

Just a long-time admirer.

The glorious South will never be defeated!

A-ha!

Say hello to John Wilkes Boom!

Time to bring down the curtain
on a Yankee rodent!

Huh?

My rail-splitting days are long gone,
but I still know how to swing an ax.

Sic semper tyrann...

There. The engine of
his infernal steam-powered suit.

Aim for that valve.

Sic semper tyrannis! The South shall rise again.
The Confederacy forev...

That was quite a timely rescue, sir.

Thanks to you, reconstruction of our
great Union can now continue unabated.

It was my honor to fight by
your side, President Lincoln...

Oh!

...of Parallel Universe 5501.

At last. With the contents
of this Ocean Lab,

I will have
all the components needed

to restore ape-kind to its rightful
place at the top of the food chain!

Cease your simian
siege now, Gorilla Grodd.

Fools. No creature on land or sea
can match my superior intellect.

Then it's a good thing it's not
wits we've come to battle.

Are you seeing what I'm seeing?

Because I'm seeing gorillas riding sharks
stealing an Ocean Lab.

How wacky and original.

Is what I'd be saying if
they hadn't been doing

this exact same thing
64 episodes in a row.

You can read about this adventure
in my next memoir:

Aquaman Versus
the Primate Pugilist.

And cue the
catchphrase. "Outrageous."

B.T.B.A.T.B., what was once so
fresh has become formula.

It feels like only yesterday

we learned the next Batman
cartoon would be a lighter incarnation.

Fanboys everywhere panicked.

But it was for nothing, because what we got
was a love letter to Silver Age comics.

The show had it all.
A perfectly cast Diedrich Bader as Batman.

Aquaman was cool again.

Guest stars like Tim Conway, NPH,
Adam West,

and the one and only Paul Reubens.

And then came its greatest episode,

"Chill of the Night!"
It was dark and brooding,

but it reminded us of how much
we missed the serious Batman.

We longed for more episodes like that.
Instead we got more like this:

You were great in your day,
campy crusader, but now you've...

What's that expression again?

That's it. You've jumped the shark.

That moment when a once-great show
starts going downhill.

Give him a taste of your
Bat Shark Repellent, old chum.

I want a new, more dramatic
Batman show.

Of course, that's not going to happen
until this one's canceled. Canceled.

That's it. I'll use my fifth dimensional
powers to make the show so bad,

it won't just jump the shark,
it'll do a quadruple spinning backflip over it.

The network will have to take it off the air.

Now let's see, to do that
I'll need to add a love interest,

give Batman an adorable kid, replace a
favorite character with a different actor.

And of course, hire Ted McGinley.

This is going to be fun.

You haven't seen the last of Grodd,
Batman!

Oh, I have a feeling we have.

Diabolical.
With the contents of that Ocean Lab,

Grodd can create a device
that turns humans into bananas.

- Grodd has to be stopped...
- Time to make Batman bad.

Question is...

Daddy. Daddy. Look at me.

Whee!

Please, Kiki, Daddy is trying to work.

Kiki, were you riding your tricycle
through the cave again

when Mommy told you not to?

It was an accident.

And I thought Joker was a handful.

Poor Batman.

He doesn't even notice
I'm making his world wacky.

Looks like Grodd is making trouble.

Right here in Gotham City.
Gotta go, sweetheart.

It's crime time, and I can't be late.

And a thousand fanboys
just threw their TVs out the window.

But what next? Hmm.

I know.

Fans hate it when Batman uses gadgets
the toy company forced into the show.

To the Bat-Luge.

Neon talking
super street Bat-Luge: Activate.

Ready when you are, Caped Crusader.

Get low and let's go.

Who doesn't love
toy company meddling?

The Brave and the Bold is starting to
stink worse than Gorilla Grodd's armpits.

Batman will be off the air
in no time.

Cancel Brave and the Bold?

What's he think he's doing?

Bat-Mite may be an all powerful being
from the fifth dimension.

But he's not a god. Or, more importantly,
a network programmer.

Someone's gotta stop him.
This sounds like a job for Ambush Bug.

But first, a word from our sponsors.

I sure hope everyone is hating
my changes as much as I'm loving them.

Destination ahead, Batman.

Thanks neon talking super street Bat-Luge.
Engage ejection mode.

Happy landings, Batman.

Ah, there you are, old chum.

For the next shark jump,

I think I'll recast
the show's breakout character.

Sorry Aquaman's John DiMaggio,
but you're being replaced.

The role of Aquaman

will now be voiced by Ted McGinley.

That evil anthropoid
is rampaging through Gotham.

Aquaman, are you okay?
You seem a little off.

I wouldn't know what you're talking about,
old chum.

Now the moment of truth: Let's see
if the show's prime demographic

is ready to change the channel yet.

Boy, this show really took a nosedive
this season.

Wanna see what else is on?

No, let's keep watching, Dad.

Batman won't let us down.
He never has before.

Prepare, Gotham, to suffer the effects
of my Banana Beam!

Ape-kind will never go hungry again!
Huh?

Destroy them!

Careful not to slip on the citizens,
Aquaman.

This calls for action. To the extreme.

Neon talking super street Bat-Luge,
activate.

Let's get low and let's go.

It's official: Worst Batman show ever.

You have to stop this, Bat-Mite.

Ambush Bug? You're a pretty obscure hero
even for this show.

You do not understand
the forces you're playing with, babe.

Wrong. I understand perfectly.

As viewers at home turn off
Batman's show,

his universe will collapse bit by bit
until it's completely gone.

And a new, better show
can take its place.

I'm not gonna let you do this to Batman.

He exists for more
than just your personal enjoyment.

Obstacle ahead:
Engaging eject mode.

Careful, citizen.

You could have been hurt by
neon talking super street Bat-Luge.

Batman, your universe
is being changed piece by piece

and soon it will be erased from existence.

You've got to fight it.

Who in Hades are you?
And what are you babbling on about?

You're Ted McGinley. Big fan.

I'm a big fan. Let me press your pants.

Ted Mc-who-y?

No, you've gotta listen to me.
One fictional hero to another.

That's crazy talk. We're not fictional.

Yes, you are. Me too, but the difference is
I know I'm not real.

Grodd's army is tearing the city apart.

Trust me on this one.

Bat-Mite got bored with your TV show
and is trying to get it canceled.

He wants to turn you away
from everything that makes you Batman.

You hear that? That's the sound of
millions of TV remotes changing the channel.

Look.

With each channel change,
more of this reality is disappearing.

That means we have to turn this reality
back into the one you knew.

Yes. The classic Brave and the Bold

with its winning combination of
thrilling adventure

and tongue-in-cheek fun.

And we have to do it quick,
before the last viewer switches channels.

Hey, I'm talking to you. No. Don't do it.

This is unwatchable.

What do you say we check out
the game instead?

Yeah, I guess so.
I used to love this show, but now...

Think fast, Bug.

Got it. Kids and their dads
love senseless violence.

You'll never bring me down,
Caped Crusader.

Hit me.

- What?
- Just do it.

He got hit in the face.

Again. Right in the kisser.

Look. We just bought some time.

I'm sorry, Ambush Bug, but we need to stop
Grodd and his banana-fueled bedlam.

Oh...

How sad.

Your debut episode, Bug,
and the show is getting exterminated.

We'll see about that.

Hey there, fellow hero.

Mind if I borrow you, neon
talking super street Bat-Luge?

Actually, I'd rather not...

Get low and let's go...

You know this means war.

Let's see how you like
the Dark Knight

in another one of those hideous,
variant Batman costumes

you only find on store shelves.

Alpine Ice Climber Batman?
How could you?

And that's just the beginning.

Anyone remember Cousin Oliver?

He may be ridiculous.

But you of all people should know
that Ace the Bathound

is an accepted part of the
Batman Universe.

I wasn't referring to Ace, I was
referring to his new nephew, Punchichi.

Let me at them, let me at them, Uncle Ace.

I can take Gorilla Grodd any day.

You fiend.

And now,
time for the ultimate shark jump.

Moving. Say goodbye to Gotham City

because the Dark Knight is relocating
to sunny Malibu, California.

Power to the puppies.

And just to seal the deal,

I'll give Batman the one thing
he would never have.

I'd say my work here is done.
See ya!

Batman, you have to listen to me,
this isn't you.

Bat-Mite is pushing you away
from who you really are.

Go away.

I give up.

How am I gonna convince you
of what's real

or not when you don't even know
you'd never use a gun?

You're right. But if none of this is real,
what's the point?

Here's the thing, Batman.

There's a lot of people out there,
people who believe in you.

Real or not,
what you do in here matters.

This isn't my home.

Does this mean
we'll be able to save the show?

The important thing, Aquaman,
is that we save the day. That's our job.

But if this is going to be the end,

let's give everyone one last thing
to remember.

That petulant primate's
poisonous ploy must be prevented.

Everything's back to normal.

I still can't believe it. I'm talking to
the real Ted McGinley.

I'm sorry, but who's this McGinley chap
you clearly have me confused with?

Only one of the finest comedic actors
of our generation.

Wow.

Thanks.

Sometimes I think people only associate me
with the whole "Jump the Shark" thing.

You know, Married With Children

was on the air seven years after I came on.
Just so you know.

A-ha! Tricked you into breaking character.

What? Outra...

You know what? I don't really get this show
anyway. I'm out of here.

- Outrageous!
- Now everything's back to normal.

Let's just hope it wasn't too late.

Eh, it got a little better toward the end.

But let's not kid ourselves, Tucker.
It's seen better days.

It's time you and Jelenic
gave this take on Batman a rest.

Think about a new one.
Something more dramatic

like that episode,
"Chilly, Chilly Night."

Yes. I did it.
A darker Batman series is on the way.

Now I need to make room for all the great
new Batman swag I'll be collecting.

The Gibbles from the very first episode.

They were so cute. See ya.

Ah, the Music Meister.

I still can't get those songs out of my head.

Maybe this'll help.

You know, for a lighter Batman,

there were actually
a few pretty good episodes.

Huh! I might actually
end up missing this show.

Coming this fall to Cartoon Network...

The promo for the new Batman show
is already here.

It's a Caped Crusader
like you've never seen before.

Awesome-sauce.

They went CGI. Oh!
And here comes Batman.

And this time, he's a girl.

Yes, it's the all-new Batgirl show.

Batgirl? It's her show?

But I want the moody loner Batman.

And this time she's brought a friend.

Well, it's not a total fail.

At least I'll finally get the realistic,
super-dramatic storytelling

I've been wanting.

Uh, not so fast, babe.
You forgot you're a fictional character too.

Yeah, and?

Wait. You mean?

Afraid so.

You see, there's no room
for a silly character like Bat-Mite

in a dark show like this.

You didn't just end
The Brave and the Bold.

You ended yourself too.
Adios, partner.

No. It can't end this way.
It can't.

Huh. I guess it can. That's all, folks.

I wasn't expecting this many.

I put the word out. Cocktail weenie?

Ow!

So this is really it.

Yeah, looks like.

At least you can say you had a good run.

A great run.

And until we meet again,
boys and girls,

know that wherever evil lurks,
in all its myriad forms,

I'll be there with the hammers of justice,

to fight for decency
and defend the innocent.

Good night.