All language subtitles for batman.the.brave.and.the.bold.s03e01.joker.the.vile.and.the.villainous.1080p.bluray

We, the Imperial Tiger Army,
swear allegiance to our most holy deity.

Oh, holy deity.

Oh, holy deity.

Oh, holy deity.

Behold, I'kbym,
the beginning and end of all things.

The end of all things is right.

Tuftan, your deity is an Omega warhead.

And if we don't act quickly,
Misfit will soon control it.

Kamandi, you dare blaspheme
our sacred ritual?

The last boy on Earth speaks the truth.

It is the ultimate weapon.

And with it,
the Misfit will rule what's left of Earth.

Serviteks, attack!

Mine, all mine.

Kamandi,
we can't let him desecrate the altar.

Believe me, Tuftan,
that's the least of our worries.

It's over.

I know you control the Serviteks
by mind-control.

Make them stop fighting now.

Huh?

Can it be?

An old friend from the 21st century
to lend a hand?

Ah, Joker, so you got my distress signal
after all.

You know me,
always happy to lend a normal-sized hand.

Attack him, my legions.

Peanuts, anyone?

Oh, I forgot. You're not supposed
to feed the animals, are you?

All right, Joker, let's take out the trash.

Thanks to you, Joker,
the Misfit now controls Tiger City.

And with it, the Omega warhead.

- Ooh! What does this one do?
- No!

At last. I'll have to thank
the Atlantean Science Society

for their contribution
to my little experiment.

Observometer is a geometric leap forward
in the science of surveillance.

And it's all mine.

Your soliloquy of selflessness is over,
caped conniver.

Fisherman, you're a fool if you think
you can stop my master plan.

We'll see about that.

I'm gonna turn you
into a filet o' Fisherman.

How delicious. Absolutely delicious.

But knowing you, Bats,
you'd probably just throw him back.

Joker.

I could've taken care of Batman myself,
you pasty-faced fool.

Sure you could.

Save the fish tales.

We need to find out
what Batman is up to.

I'm betting something
to make our lives a bit more miserable.

Make that a lot more miserable, Fisherman.

The clown fish in his natural habitat.

A net.

You two can keep each other company
until the Atlantean police arrive.

You gotta get me out of here.
This is my third strike.

Hold your sea horses, I've got this.

Sorry we can't stay for the party, boys.

But we did bring our own balloons.

Looks like Batman's the fish
that got away.

And I have a sinking feeling this is only
the beginning of his dynamic deviltry.

Hey, it's him.

Hm. Losers.

A John Wilkes Booth, on the rocks.

You're building something, Bats,

and it's up to me
to find out what it is and stop you.

Oh, look at him. The conquering hero.

He gets a parade

and we get hard time on the rock pile
in the state pen.

No one said the life of a super-criminal
was going to be easy, old man.

Well, I wish I'd had known.

I wouldn't have become a villain
in the first place.

Come on, Gramps, lighten up.

Hold the trolley.
I know those crocodile tears.

You're the Weeper. You used to be big.

The greatest villain of all time.

I... I... I could have been.

Once, perhaps, but now I'm just a bum.

You invented super-criminal shtick
as we know it.

They called you the crying crime king.

The first villain to use a signature motif
in all your crimes.

Sheer genius.

Why, I even modeled myself after you.

I just went in another direction,
of course.

Whatever happened to you?

I had a chance to commit
the crime of the century

and I let it slip through my fingers.

Farewell, Fawcett City.
Your tragic end is nigh.

Your dreams of despair end now,
Weeper.

Don't do it.

Thousands of innocent lives will be lost.

Thousands?

Weeper, you just don't have the moxie
to stand up

against the ballistic force of justice.

I could have destroyed an entire city
that night.

But I hesitated.

And for that, I spent the next 30 years
serving hard time, Joker.

Joker?

Oh, you silly cat, I love lasagna too.

I'm sorry. You were saying?

It doesn't matter anyway.
My days in the limelight are over.

Not without one last fling, they're not.

The fates brought us together
for a reason, Weepy.

Picture it: The mountebank of mirth
teams up with the duke of downers.

Gotham won't know what hit it.
What do you say?

It's not like the old days, Joker.
Why, back then, evil fueled my mewling.

Now I only shed bitter tears of regret.

We interrupt this broadcast

for breaking news.

Gotham City's own duly deputized
champion of law and order, Batman,

has an announcement.

I have two announcements.

One is for the good citizens
of Gotham City.

You have been at the mercy of cowardly
and superstitious criminals for too long.

Superstitious?

Thanks to efforts of law-abiding scientists
all over the world,

once I install the remaining components,
those days are over forever.

I give you the Bat-Probe,
the ultimate weapon in crime prevention.

This device will detect every crime
as it is happening

and summon the police, or me,
immediately, to dispense justice.

No. That's not fair.

My second message
is for the criminal scum of Gotham City.

I'll be seeing you, punks.

Batman's gone too far.

I'm in. One last caper, partner.

I'm not sure I'm up to this anymore.

My tyrannical tears of terror
are now but a, sniff, a trickle.

Nonsense.

By the time I'm through with you,
they'll be a monsoon of misery.

We'll start off small and work up.

Ohh...

Let's start a little smaller.

Hey.

Ma'am?

Maybe we should manage
our expectations.

Waah!

Bravo. Like taking candy from a baby.

You're ready for Batman.

A hideout right across
the street from S.T.A.R. Labs.

What is this place, Weepy?

I bought it
with what I scraped together

from making license plates in prison
for 30 years.

My big plan was to bring smiles
to the faces of snot-nosed tots

while bleeding their parents dry.

Oh, Weepy,
you're capable of so much worse.

Ha!

Your hunch about S.T.A.R. Labs
helping Bats was dead-on.

Your comeback begins now.

Now, just relax.

Crime's like riding a unicycle.

You never forget how.

Hey, boys.

Stop me if you've heard this one before.

This is your cue. Sparkle, Weepy, sparkle.

Into each life, a little rain must fall.

See, Weepy? You still got it.

You're right. I feel woefully alive
for the first time in years.

Now, let's crush that Dark Knight despot.

The advanced technology
contained in this bio-magnetic sensor

will enable the Bat-Probe
to detect malevolent intent

within the Gotham City limits.

Looks like we're outnumbered, old chum.

Sadly so, but we have the element
of surprise on our side.

With this final component installed,

no black-hearted bottom-feeder

will escape the cold,
unblinking glare of justice.

What happened to surprise?

I'm sorry.

Joker, you murderous mountebank.

Couldn't wait for the Bat-Probe
to set its sights on you, eh?

You know me, Batsy.
I like to come early and avoid the rush.

He has me in his famous trick streamers.

Mortimer Gloom, a.k.a., the Weeper.

You'll be wailing behind prison walls
when I'm done with you.

Perhaps, Batman, but today,
it's your turn to cry me a river.

Way to go, Weepy. Uh-oh.

Bats, this obsessive little project of yours
has clearly left you unhinged.

I like it.

See how you like this, Joker.

I won't let you oppress our people
any further, you caped killjoy.

This time the only tears
will be at your funeral.

Just what I thought.

Read your file, Weeper.

Still not evil enough to get the job done,
are you?

Never were, never will be.

Buck up, Weeps.

I got enough evil for both of us.

Justice always has a way
of evening the odds, scum.

Ah. You're taking it well. No tears.

I'm beyond tears, Joker.

The one time when this city
really needed a villain, and I failed.

Batman's right. I'm not evil enough.

From a man who should know,
that's crazy talk.

I need you, Weeper.

I can't help you.

I'm sorry.

The ultimate weapon
against the underworld.

No crime will go unpunished
and no criminal will go free.

Well, maybe it's not gonna work.

What a revolting development this is.

Huh?

Ah! A welcome wagon.

Weeps?

Someone's gotta make the world safe
for the criminals of tomorrow.

Weepy.

Come on, partner.
Time to make the Bat eat crow.

I knew you'd show up sooner or later,
Joker.

You're a fool to face me.

En garde.

Looks like you need some new material,
Joker.

You're too old for this game, Weeper.

Oh, you're never too old for evil.

One last chance, old man.

Give yourself up. It's hopeless.

Not this time.

How the mighty have fallen
in the midst of battle.

Oh, I pity thee, Batman.

Bravo. Bravo.

I knew you had it in you, old timer.

The tragedy is that all these years,
I didn't believe I could prevail

until you came along, Joker.

It's a shame I must do you in now.

Weepy, what are you talking about?

There can only be one king of crime
in Gotham and that must be me.

Not in this lifetime, Weeper.

You saved me.

- You're welcome.
- No, you fool.

The Weeper was about claim
his true destiny.

You robbed me of my greatest prank.

Joker, crying?

Now, that's funny.