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Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org
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Where's Hammond?
3
00:00:37,078 --> 00:00:38,568
I said where's Hammond!
4
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Lucky for you I gotta reload.
5
00:01:54,822 --> 00:01:59,282
Oh, there you are,
you mangy fink coyote!
6
00:02:02,830 --> 00:02:05,025
I got a message for you
from Rance Roden.
7
00:02:05,099 --> 00:02:09,695
He wants his gambling cut
and protection fee by tonight...
8
00:02:09,771 --> 00:02:11,796
or I'm gonna
come back here and...
9
00:02:15,376 --> 00:02:17,970
get rough.
10
00:02:20,815 --> 00:02:24,410
I don't want no trouble
with Mr. Roden.
11
00:02:24,485 --> 00:02:26,419
Take the whole place!
12
00:02:26,487 --> 00:02:31,754
I'll take the next stage
back to Ph-Ph-Philadelphia!
13
00:02:33,628 --> 00:02:36,358
Now you're gettin' smart.
14
00:02:47,241 --> 00:02:49,835
A fiery villain
with the speed of light.
15
00:02:49,911 --> 00:02:54,678
A burst of bullets
and a hearty "Hi-ho,yahoo!"
16
00:02:54,749 --> 00:02:57,877
The roaring frontier lives again!
17
00:02:57,952 --> 00:03:00,011
From out of the dusty fiiles
of the Old West...
18
00:03:00,088 --> 00:03:03,524
comes the thundering truth
of the great heroes of television:
19
00:03:03,591 --> 00:03:06,458
the unvarnished accounts
and revolting revelations...
20
00:03:06,527 --> 00:03:09,155
of such assorted riffraff
as Wyatt Earp...
21
00:03:09,230 --> 00:03:12,028
Bat Masterson
and Wild Bill Hickok...
22
00:03:12,100 --> 00:03:16,332
men who in reality began
their careers as evil desperadoes...
23
00:03:16,404 --> 00:03:19,805
in total defiance
of law and order.
24
00:03:19,874 --> 00:03:21,808
Now, if you fellas
would add that up...
25
00:03:21,876 --> 00:03:25,539
you'd find that we're about
30 percent over last month's net...
26
00:03:25,613 --> 00:03:29,208
which proves again that so far
we've just scratched the surface.
27
00:03:29,283 --> 00:03:31,251
- Now, I've said--
- You can take over...
28
00:03:31,319 --> 00:03:33,981
the Short Horn Saloon now,
Mr. Roden.
29
00:03:34,055 --> 00:03:38,321
Hammond is quittin' business
on account of his... health.
30
00:03:38,392 --> 00:03:40,519
Very good, Trigger.
Put a little pressure on 'em...
31
00:03:40,595 --> 00:03:42,563
and they fold up
like an accordion.
32
00:03:42,630 --> 00:03:45,599
I was just saying that up to now,
things have been pretty good.
33
00:03:45,666 --> 00:03:47,600
But the sky's the limit.
34
00:03:47,668 --> 00:03:49,829
Especially with the organization
we've got today.
35
00:03:49,904 --> 00:03:52,464
Wyatt Earp in Tombstone.
36
00:03:52,540 --> 00:03:55,703
Bat Masterson
in Dodge City.
37
00:03:55,777 --> 00:03:58,473
Wild Bill Hickok
in Abilene.
38
00:03:59,147 --> 00:04:02,913
- Jesse James in Missouri.
- All that smoke!
39
00:04:04,786 --> 00:04:06,754
Billy the Kid
in the Dakotas.
40
00:04:06,821 --> 00:04:09,016
- What are you doin'?
- Playing western chicken.
41
00:04:09,090 --> 00:04:11,058
Not inside.
42
00:04:11,125 --> 00:04:14,219
Not to mention
Johnny Ringo in New Mexico.
43
00:04:14,295 --> 00:04:17,924
- Cole Younger in Cripple Creek.
- Marshall Quizby, Deadwood.
44
00:04:17,999 --> 00:04:19,933
Makes an even hundred.
45
00:04:20,001 --> 00:04:23,402
- Beats me by two.
- Rob Dalton in Nevada.
46
00:04:23,471 --> 00:04:26,770
Now, the syndicate is cleaning up
in liquor, gambling...
47
00:04:26,841 --> 00:04:29,241
and every racket
known to man or the devil.
48
00:04:29,310 --> 00:04:30,743
But we're gonna do better.
49
00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:32,837
Before we're through
we're gonna take over...
50
00:04:32,914 --> 00:04:35,246
every territory
west of the Mississippi!
51
00:04:35,316 --> 00:04:37,944
Just how do you aim
to go about that?
52
00:04:38,019 --> 00:04:39,953
Get the Indians
on the warpath.
53
00:04:40,021 --> 00:04:42,854
I want to see every tribe up in arms
from here to California...
54
00:04:42,924 --> 00:04:44,619
and from Canada to the Gulf!
55
00:04:45,793 --> 00:04:48,956
All we have to do is
exterminate the buffalo.
56
00:04:49,030 --> 00:04:52,193
With their food supply gone,
they'll rise up by the thousands...
57
00:04:52,266 --> 00:04:54,291
mean, fightin' mad.
58
00:04:54,368 --> 00:04:57,098
They'll roll over the cavalry
like a tidal wave.
59
00:04:57,171 --> 00:04:59,867
Once the cavalry's out of business,
we'll take over.
60
00:05:03,077 --> 00:05:05,841
Now go on home
and get busy.
61
00:05:05,913 --> 00:05:08,473
Open war on the buffalo.
62
00:05:08,549 --> 00:05:13,577
And if anybody tries to stop us,
they're idiots-- dead idiots.
63
00:05:13,654 --> 00:05:13,821
All right, you idiots,
hurry it up.
64
00:05:13,821 --> 00:05:15,914
All right, you idiots,
hurry it up.
65
00:05:18,626 --> 00:05:21,561
- What are you stalling for?
- We forgot our gas masks.
66
00:05:21,629 --> 00:05:24,393
Oh, yeah.
67
00:05:24,465 --> 00:05:27,332
Mr. Cab-- Mr. Cabot
will be awfully angry...
68
00:05:27,401 --> 00:05:29,528
if we don't get the magazine
off the press today.
69
00:05:29,604 --> 00:05:34,507
And besides, we have to include
a picture of Elvis.
70
00:05:34,575 --> 00:05:38,978
Let's go. Now don't irritate Elvis.
You know what happens.
71
00:05:39,046 --> 00:05:41,742
The last time, he hit me
in the back of the neck.
72
00:05:46,921 --> 00:05:50,516
Come on, come on, come on.
Come on, get going, boys.
73
00:05:50,591 --> 00:05:52,752
- Come on, come on, get a move on.
- All right.
74
00:05:52,827 --> 00:05:56,661
- Hey, what do you want?
- Go ahead, go ahead, go ahead.
75
00:05:56,731 --> 00:06:00,167
Slowpoke. Now, you,
you get the picture set for Elvis.
76
00:06:00,234 --> 00:06:02,202
You, get busy.
77
00:06:02,270 --> 00:06:04,204
And be careful.
You remember last week?
78
00:06:04,272 --> 00:06:06,866
We had to bury your clothes
and you, pretty near.
79
00:06:06,941 --> 00:06:09,205
- Yeah.
- So you watch your p's and q's, eh?
80
00:06:09,277 --> 00:06:11,268
- Okay.
- All right.
81
00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:14,614
Watch out now.
He's dangerous.
82
00:06:14,682 --> 00:06:16,616
I don't trust you either.
83
00:06:16,684 --> 00:06:19,812
All right, Elvis, come on.
Come on out, boy.
84
00:06:19,887 --> 00:06:23,220
Come on, come on.
Come on out here.
85
00:06:24,959 --> 00:06:26,449
Come on.
86
00:06:33,067 --> 00:06:34,830
Hey, Guttenberg.
87
00:06:37,872 --> 00:06:39,203
- I'm sorry.
- Always the life of the party.
88
00:06:39,273 --> 00:06:41,673
- Accident.
- Give me that!
89
00:06:44,045 --> 00:06:46,104
Why, you--
90
00:06:49,216 --> 00:06:51,150
How do you like that?
Now get over there...
91
00:06:51,218 --> 00:06:53,379
and help that other imbecile
take a picture of Elvis!
92
00:06:53,454 --> 00:06:54,978
Oh, all right.
93
00:06:56,891 --> 00:06:59,724
- Are you all set, Larry?
- I am, but the skunk ain't.
94
00:06:59,794 --> 00:07:03,628
Do me a favor. Dump him out of the cage
while I get the camera set.
95
00:07:03,698 --> 00:07:06,030
Oh, I'm not picking up
no skunk's cage...
96
00:07:06,100 --> 00:07:08,034
because he'll give it to me.
97
00:07:08,102 --> 00:07:10,627
And when he gives it to you,
you get it good.
98
00:07:10,705 --> 00:07:13,265
Oh, I'll get the camera ready.
99
00:07:13,341 --> 00:07:15,468
I'll get the light now.
100
00:07:32,693 --> 00:07:34,524
- How are you comin', Larry?
- Not so good.
101
00:07:49,076 --> 00:07:51,306
I'm sorry, Moe. Say!
102
00:07:51,379 --> 00:07:53,677
This is gonna be
a sensational issue.
103
00:07:53,748 --> 00:07:58,310
It says here, "Once, a hundred million
buffalo roamed the West."
104
00:07:58,386 --> 00:08:00,377
Well, what do you know.
105
00:08:00,454 --> 00:08:03,548
"Continued on page three,
column four."
106
00:08:05,059 --> 00:08:09,393
"And they're disappearing
at the rate of 5,000 a day."
107
00:08:11,165 --> 00:08:14,362
There's more
on column nine, page three.
108
00:08:14,435 --> 00:08:16,903
AT&T are splittin'
two for one.
109
00:08:16,971 --> 00:08:19,496
I'll split your head open!
What's the matter with you?
110
00:08:20,241 --> 00:08:22,607
- Leave him alone!
- You, I'll tear your hair out!
111
00:08:22,676 --> 00:08:25,076
Boys! Boys, please!
112
00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:27,274
I'm working.
113
00:08:27,348 --> 00:08:29,475
That's all right.
You're not bothering us, Mr. Cabot.
114
00:08:31,318 --> 00:08:34,253
Let me know the minute
Mr. Abernathy arrives.
115
00:08:34,321 --> 00:08:37,722
Sure. Sure will. Now get over there
and take care of the picture.
116
00:08:37,792 --> 00:08:39,487
Come on. Get going.
117
00:08:39,560 --> 00:08:41,494
Get in there, you morons.
Go ahead!
118
00:08:43,731 --> 00:08:47,167
Come on, Elvis,just one picture,
then you can go home as you are--
119
00:08:47,234 --> 00:08:49,532
half-safe,
like the other two skunks.
120
00:08:50,237 --> 00:08:52,569
You see? He's stubborn.
121
00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:55,165
Hey, fellas, wait a minute.
Wait. Wait.
122
00:08:57,278 --> 00:09:00,475
How about trying out
my all-purpose hunting horn, huh?
123
00:09:00,548 --> 00:09:04,575
Hunting horn?
That looks like an unborn piccolo.
124
00:09:04,652 --> 00:09:06,279
What'll you do with that?
125
00:09:06,353 --> 00:09:09,015
Well, if I can get a moose
out of the woods with a moose call...
126
00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:11,285
and a duck in my duck blind
with a duck call...
127
00:09:11,358 --> 00:09:15,658
maybe I can get the skunk
out of the cage with a skunk call.
128
00:09:15,729 --> 00:09:17,754
Now, let me see.
129
00:09:17,832 --> 00:09:21,495
Yesterday with a F-sharp
and a C- major...
130
00:09:21,569 --> 00:09:23,799
I got pigeons.
131
00:09:23,871 --> 00:09:26,203
This calls for B-flat.
132
00:09:27,808 --> 00:09:30,902
I wonder what Mozart would have
done in a situation like this?
133
00:09:31,612 --> 00:09:34,342
I think this calls for
a pizzicato fortissimo...
134
00:09:34,415 --> 00:09:36,474
with a fast-breaking
cadenza.
135
00:09:46,861 --> 00:09:49,796
That's a fast-blowing cadenza.
I'll fracture your skull!
136
00:09:49,864 --> 00:09:51,798
- Come on, come on, come on.
- Out, out, out.
137
00:09:51,866 --> 00:09:55,632
I know the trouble.
Too much "pizzi" in my pizzicato.
138
00:09:55,703 --> 00:09:57,637
Try it again.
Yeah, I know now.
139
00:10:04,245 --> 00:10:07,078
- Mr. Cabot!
- Mr. Abernathy!
140
00:10:10,684 --> 00:10:15,246
- Mr. Abernathy!
- Help! Mr. Cabot! Help!
141
00:10:16,690 --> 00:10:18,817
Take it easy, Mr. Abernathy.
Easy, now.
142
00:10:18,893 --> 00:10:21,088
Everything will be all right.
Here, get out of there!
143
00:10:21,162 --> 00:10:23,289
Don't you dare touch
Mr. Abernathy.
144
00:10:23,364 --> 00:10:25,889
Now, you leave Mr. Abernathy alone!
Get out of here!
145
00:10:25,966 --> 00:10:28,298
Go on! Right this way,
Mr. Abernathy.
146
00:10:28,369 --> 00:10:30,769
Let go of me! Take your hands off!
Get away from me!
147
00:10:30,838 --> 00:10:32,328
Mr. Abernathy.
148
00:10:33,541 --> 00:10:35,532
- Hey.
- Oh, Mr. Abernathy, I--
149
00:10:35,609 --> 00:10:39,170
- What's going on around here?
- We're just, uh...
150
00:10:39,246 --> 00:10:41,214
getting the magazine out, sir...
151
00:10:41,282 --> 00:10:43,216
with another
hard-hitting editorial...
152
00:10:43,284 --> 00:10:45,218
on the slaughter
of the buffalo!
153
00:10:45,286 --> 00:10:47,345
Editorials aren't enough, Cabot.
154
00:10:47,421 --> 00:10:49,787
I had a meeting with
our directors last night at dinner...
155
00:10:49,857 --> 00:10:53,884
and we arranged to have you sent
out west to look into this thing.
156
00:10:53,961 --> 00:10:55,895
M-Me?
157
00:10:56,897 --> 00:11:01,300
- I mean, me way out west?
- That's what I said.
158
00:11:01,368 --> 00:11:03,632
I've already arranged to have
your press sent to Wyoming.
159
00:11:03,704 --> 00:11:06,036
Come here.
Take a look.
160
00:11:06,106 --> 00:11:09,507
Now, do you know what that this?
A buffalo census chart.
161
00:11:09,577 --> 00:11:11,943
Look at that.
You see that line?
162
00:11:12,012 --> 00:11:15,778
That thing is trying to get
right down into the basement.
163
00:11:15,849 --> 00:11:17,783
And that is a big cellar.
164
00:11:17,851 --> 00:11:20,513
Give me another chance.
I know I can do it.
165
00:11:20,588 --> 00:11:22,988
I got it in there.
I just got to get it out.
166
00:11:23,057 --> 00:11:25,548
Unless preventive measures
are taken at once...
167
00:11:25,626 --> 00:11:28,356
in ten years
there won't be a single buffalo left...
168
00:11:28,429 --> 00:11:30,727
on the whole continent
of North America.
169
00:11:30,798 --> 00:11:34,097
There's no two ways about it.
You've got to go to Wyoming immediately.
170
00:11:34,168 --> 00:11:34,368
- Give me an A, Moe.
- A.
171
00:11:34,368 --> 00:11:36,632
- Give me an A, Moe.
- A.
172
00:12:00,527 --> 00:12:03,860
I knew I could do it.
All I needed was a reverse cadenza.
173
00:12:03,931 --> 00:12:05,990
Keep him in the mood, Joe.
174
00:12:08,702 --> 00:12:10,397
Did I?
175
00:12:10,471 --> 00:12:13,531
Well, it's better to be
half safe than half sure.
176
00:12:19,647 --> 00:12:21,774
Oh, that's beautiful, Elvis.
177
00:12:28,889 --> 00:12:31,414
- Ready, Larry?
- Light 'er up!
178
00:12:39,667 --> 00:12:41,692
- Mr. Cabot!
- What happened?
179
00:12:41,769 --> 00:12:45,830
Mr. Cabot! Mr. Cabot!
Just a minute, Mr. Cabot!
180
00:12:45,906 --> 00:12:49,171
- Take it easy.
- What happened here?
181
00:12:49,243 --> 00:12:51,734
That's what we're
trying to find out.
182
00:12:51,812 --> 00:12:54,212
- You all right?
- What am I doing on this moose?
183
00:12:59,987 --> 00:13:03,548
Cabot, this is the last straw!
184
00:13:03,624 --> 00:13:07,082
I want these rogues
dismissed immediately!
185
00:13:07,161 --> 00:13:11,962
Mr. Abernathy, I'm sure
the whole thing was unavoidable.
186
00:13:12,032 --> 00:13:15,331
Makes no difference!
I don't want them around here!
187
00:13:15,402 --> 00:13:17,336
And that's final.
188
00:13:18,972 --> 00:13:21,304
You understand?
189
00:13:21,375 --> 00:13:24,037
You can take them out west
with you, if you wish.
190
00:13:24,111 --> 00:13:28,309
- I can?
- But don't bring them back!
191
00:13:28,382 --> 00:13:32,614
- Yes, sir, yes, sir.
- What is this about out west?
192
00:13:32,686 --> 00:13:36,747
Well, you see, Mr. Abernathy's
sending me out to Wyoming...
193
00:13:36,824 --> 00:13:40,658
to try to do something about
the vanishing buffalo herds...
194
00:13:40,728 --> 00:13:42,662
and I'm afraid--
195
00:13:42,730 --> 00:13:45,995
That is, I'm afraid that you're
gonna have to go with me...
196
00:13:46,066 --> 00:13:48,500
- Not me.
- if you want to keep your jobs.
197
00:13:48,569 --> 00:13:50,628
No, no.
Not me in Wyoming.
198
00:13:50,704 --> 00:13:52,831
It's full of gunslingers,
Gila monsters...
199
00:13:52,906 --> 00:13:55,136
- rattlesnakes and lndians!
- Yeah.
200
00:13:55,209 --> 00:13:58,144
And besides,
it's against our religion.
201
00:13:58,212 --> 00:14:01,443
Yeah.
We're devout cowards.
202
00:14:01,515 --> 00:14:04,450
Do you mean to say that
you would let Mr. Cabot...
203
00:14:04,518 --> 00:14:06,816
face all these dangers alone?
204
00:14:06,887 --> 00:14:08,821
- Yes!
- Yes!
205
00:14:09,990 --> 00:14:13,357
- What's the matter with you?
- Wyoming, here we come!
206
00:14:13,427 --> 00:14:15,952
Yeah. We're on our way west.
207
00:14:16,029 --> 00:14:18,827
Way out west
where the air is fresh and pure...
208
00:14:18,899 --> 00:14:22,335
scented with
the aroma of purple sage.
209
00:14:26,206 --> 00:14:28,640
Watch it. Fellas, watch it.
Watch it.
210
00:14:28,709 --> 00:14:30,700
He's getting ready.
He's aimin'. He's aimin'.
211
00:14:30,778 --> 00:14:33,838
Put that down, you.
212
00:14:37,785 --> 00:14:40,982
We should be in Wyoming
this afternoon.
213
00:14:41,054 --> 00:14:45,047
Only two months and twenty days
out of Boston.
214
00:14:49,696 --> 00:14:51,857
Not a sign of buffalo.
215
00:14:54,401 --> 00:14:56,733
Looks pretty bad, boys.
216
00:14:56,804 --> 00:14:59,068
- Hey, Paderewski.
- Yeah?
217
00:14:59,139 --> 00:15:01,664
Why don't you try
to whip up a buffalo call?
218
00:15:01,742 --> 00:15:06,008
Yeah. It worked with Elvis.
Maybe I can stir up a few.
219
00:15:06,079 --> 00:15:09,742
You stir 'em up and then you drive 'em
away with those screechy notes.
220
00:15:09,817 --> 00:15:12,684
Jealousy will get you
nowhere. Listen.
221
00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:21,751
Hey, fellas, look!
222
00:15:27,768 --> 00:15:29,861
They're beautiful.
Beautiful.
223
00:15:30,637 --> 00:15:31,934
Buffalo!
224
00:15:32,005 --> 00:15:35,497
I told you. I told you!
With the right kind of pizzicato...
225
00:15:35,576 --> 00:15:38,670
this horn will lure
any animal there is.
226
00:15:38,745 --> 00:15:40,337
- Any animal?
- Yep.
227
00:15:40,414 --> 00:15:43,042
- You talk like an idiot.
- Then you understand me.
228
00:15:43,116 --> 00:15:47,075
Well, now that we finally arrived
on the lawless frontier...
229
00:15:47,154 --> 00:15:50,282
I think we should be prepared.
230
00:15:53,126 --> 00:15:56,027
Oh, it's okay, boys.
It's not loaded.
231
00:15:57,664 --> 00:16:00,565
Oh, Mr. Cabot, please, please.
In the chamber.
232
00:16:00,634 --> 00:16:02,693
Here. Let me show you,
please.
233
00:16:02,769 --> 00:16:05,863
- Here we are.
- Moe knows all about it.
234
00:16:05,939 --> 00:16:08,965
Yeah, you see, you open
the side door here...
235
00:16:09,042 --> 00:16:11,840
and you put it in these windows here,
those little windows.
236
00:16:11,912 --> 00:16:14,244
Right down there. There.
237
00:16:14,314 --> 00:16:16,282
That's it. See?
238
00:16:23,357 --> 00:16:26,417
Whoa, honey, whoa.
Whoa, honey.
239
00:16:26,493 --> 00:16:29,690
"Entering Casper...
at your own risk"?
240
00:16:30,898 --> 00:16:33,128
Well, I wouldn't
worry about that, boys.
241
00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:36,135
The West is really known
for its friendliness.
242
00:16:36,203 --> 00:16:38,933
That don't look
very friendly to me.
243
00:16:58,025 --> 00:16:59,515
Giddup, partner.
244
00:17:07,668 --> 00:17:09,602
- What's today?
- The 17 th.
245
00:17:09,670 --> 00:17:13,367
Right on schedule.
Hey, fellas, look!
246
00:17:27,588 --> 00:17:32,548
"Sheriff wanted.
No experience necessary"?
247
00:17:32,626 --> 00:17:35,151
Boy, they really got a handy
arrangement here.
248
00:17:35,228 --> 00:17:38,425
Are you still
gonna stay here? Ken!
249
00:17:38,498 --> 00:17:41,592
- Who, me?
- Yeah.
250
00:17:41,668 --> 00:17:45,900
Why, yes.
Yes, I suppose I must.
251
00:17:45,973 --> 00:17:47,998
- So am I!
- Me too!
252
00:17:48,075 --> 00:17:52,307
Well, if you're gonna stay here
and you two guys are gonna stay here...
253
00:17:52,379 --> 00:17:55,177
- there's only one thing I can say.
- What's that?
254
00:17:55,248 --> 00:17:58,706
- Good luck!
- You would! Come on here!
255
00:17:58,785 --> 00:18:00,719
Well, if we intend
to find out what's going on...
256
00:18:00,787 --> 00:18:03,415
I guess the saloon is
the best place to get started.
257
00:18:03,490 --> 00:18:06,926
- I'd say so.
- Yeah, let's give it a try.
258
00:18:14,134 --> 00:18:17,900
Three blind mice
Three blind mice
259
00:18:17,971 --> 00:18:19,905
They all ran after
the farmer's wife
260
00:18:19,973 --> 00:18:22,373
They all ran after
the farmer's wife
261
00:18:28,081 --> 00:18:32,017
- Three blind mice, three blind mice
- A Japanese Beatle?
262
00:18:33,153 --> 00:18:34,643
Hey, boys.
263
00:18:40,394 --> 00:18:43,955
Top prices plus a bounty
for buffalo hides!
264
00:18:44,031 --> 00:18:47,364
Why, this is the most
outrageous thing I've ever heard of.
265
00:18:47,434 --> 00:18:49,732
- Who's responsible for this?
- Yeah!
266
00:18:49,803 --> 00:18:52,966
- I demand to see him at once!
- Well...
267
00:18:53,040 --> 00:18:55,907
I'd be happy to arrange that
for you, stranger.
268
00:18:55,976 --> 00:18:57,238
Rance!
269
00:18:57,310 --> 00:18:59,744
- Was he the man respon--
- Never mind who the man responsible is.
270
00:18:59,813 --> 00:19:02,941
- What's the trouble, Trigger?
- Well, this gentlemen...
271
00:19:03,016 --> 00:19:06,645
seems to be taking objection to something
that we're carrying on our poster.
272
00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:08,950
Oh? Who might you be?
273
00:19:09,022 --> 00:19:11,957
Kenneth Cabot from
Boston, Massachusetts, sir.
274
00:19:12,025 --> 00:19:13,959
And these are my friends.
275
00:19:14,027 --> 00:19:16,086
I must protest
this sacrilege.
276
00:19:16,163 --> 00:19:18,358
Do you not know that
the buffalo is the most noble...
277
00:19:18,432 --> 00:19:20,923
of the native beasts
remaining on this continent...
278
00:19:21,001 --> 00:19:24,767
and that we are here for the expressed
purpose of saving them from extinction?
279
00:19:24,838 --> 00:19:28,433
- What'd he say?
- Quiet, you imbecile.
280
00:19:28,508 --> 00:19:31,807
- Why, you buttinsky--
- No. Take it easy, take it easy.
281
00:19:31,878 --> 00:19:33,869
Now, we can
settle this quietly.
282
00:19:33,947 --> 00:19:36,313
First, gentleman,
I'm Rance Roden.
283
00:19:36,383 --> 00:19:38,408
I kind of run things
around here.
284
00:19:38,485 --> 00:19:41,648
This is my partner,
Trigger Mortis.
285
00:19:41,722 --> 00:19:45,681
Now, like gentlemen, why don't we
step inside and have one on the house?
286
00:19:45,759 --> 00:19:48,626
- Mighty nice of you, stranger.
- Real Western hospitality.
287
00:19:48,695 --> 00:19:50,663
Yes, sir.
288
00:19:52,199 --> 00:19:54,133
Thanks.
289
00:19:57,604 --> 00:19:59,799
Find out who's behind that dude...
290
00:19:59,873 --> 00:20:02,341
and we'll take it from there.
291
00:21:49,182 --> 00:21:52,481
It's all right, sonny.
It's only Annie Oakley.
292
00:22:18,845 --> 00:22:21,177
Oh, pardon me, sir.
I-- Oh, hello, Moe.
293
00:22:21,248 --> 00:22:23,842
You clumsy idiot!
294
00:22:23,917 --> 00:22:25,851
Leave him alone.
295
00:22:25,919 --> 00:22:28,410
And I told Rance Roden
again and again...
296
00:22:28,488 --> 00:22:31,616
that the one thing
I can't stand in this place...
297
00:22:31,691 --> 00:22:33,659
is tassels.
298
00:22:33,727 --> 00:22:37,686
And I aim to get rid of them
the hard way.
299
00:22:45,872 --> 00:22:48,670
Another tassel,
and it's gotta go!
300
00:22:48,742 --> 00:22:51,939
And I think I'll just save him
another trip to the barber...
301
00:22:52,012 --> 00:22:53,946
with my famous
slow bullet.
302
00:22:54,014 --> 00:22:58,041
While we're all waiting, I'll just put
a silver dollar down on number 40.
303
00:22:58,118 --> 00:23:00,052
Everybody ready?
304
00:23:23,910 --> 00:23:25,844
In my account.
305
00:23:28,281 --> 00:23:33,275
Nice goin', Annie.
She never misses, do you, doll?
306
00:23:33,353 --> 00:23:35,287
Gentlemen?
307
00:23:42,862 --> 00:23:46,195
Who's the good-lookin' stranger
with the busy eyes?
308
00:23:46,266 --> 00:23:50,726
Some pencil-neck from back East out here
trying to tell us how to run our business.
309
00:23:50,804 --> 00:23:54,763
Sweetheart, I've been
thinking about you all day.
310
00:24:08,021 --> 00:24:10,854
A buffalo contest?
311
00:24:12,559 --> 00:24:15,687
Why, this is contemptible!
Inhuman!
312
00:24:15,762 --> 00:24:17,457
I'm warning you, sir.
313
00:24:17,530 --> 00:24:20,260
If this shameful practice
isn't stopped immediately...
314
00:24:20,333 --> 00:24:22,301
I shall wire full details
to my employers...
315
00:24:22,369 --> 00:24:24,303
the Society for the Protection
of American Wildlife...
316
00:24:24,371 --> 00:24:27,101
- I'll be back.
- and the United States government!
317
00:24:29,709 --> 00:24:32,769
Something bothering you,
Mr. Cabot?
318
00:24:32,846 --> 00:24:35,474
Indeed there is,
Mr. Roden.
319
00:24:35,548 --> 00:24:37,209
I'll wager that this contest...
320
00:24:37,283 --> 00:24:39,751
is exactly what's causing
the bad feeling among the lndians.
321
00:24:40,487 --> 00:24:44,116
And it may very well
send them on a warpath.
322
00:24:48,695 --> 00:24:50,754
Now, if we don't
kill off them buffalo...
323
00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:58,303
they're gonna eat up all the range grass
west of the Mississippi.
324
00:24:58,371 --> 00:25:01,431
I hardly think
that's possible, sir.
325
00:25:01,508 --> 00:25:05,968
Now, no eastern pantywaist is
gonna waltz in here and call me a liar!
326
00:25:09,249 --> 00:25:12,946
- Draw!
- Just a minute. This man is unarmed!
327
00:25:26,266 --> 00:25:29,167
Now, when I count to three...
328
00:25:29,235 --> 00:25:31,499
you be ready to use that piece.
329
00:25:35,175 --> 00:25:37,109
One!
330
00:25:41,281 --> 00:25:42,270
Two!
331
00:25:47,887 --> 00:25:49,218
Three!
332
00:26:01,901 --> 00:26:04,927
- Good shootin', Mr. Cabot.
- Oh, that was wonderful, wonderful!
333
00:26:05,004 --> 00:26:08,167
Yeah, you're gonna
do all right. Boy!
334
00:26:08,241 --> 00:26:13,304
As one expert to another, stranger,
that was dang good shootin'.
335
00:26:13,379 --> 00:26:15,176
Attention, everybody!
Attention!
336
00:26:15,248 --> 00:26:18,240
Now, we all know it takes
a powerful gun...
337
00:26:18,318 --> 00:26:20,946
to maintain
law and order here in Casper.
338
00:26:21,020 --> 00:26:23,580
And this shooting exhibition
I just saw...
339
00:26:23,656 --> 00:26:26,853
which is about
the best I have ever seen...
340
00:26:26,926 --> 00:26:32,023
makes me want to nominate
Mr. Kenneth Cabot for our next sheriff.
341
00:26:32,098 --> 00:26:34,362
And his three friends
can be the deputies.
342
00:26:37,504 --> 00:26:41,065
Here you are, Mr. Cabot,
still warm from the last sheriff.
343
00:26:41,141 --> 00:26:45,202
Good luck.
And good luck to you gentlemen.
344
00:26:45,278 --> 00:26:46,336
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
345
00:26:46,412 --> 00:26:48,346
- Hey, Moe, Moe--
- Oh, please, please.
346
00:26:48,414 --> 00:26:50,678
- Hey, we're in town only an hour...
- Hey, Moe.
347
00:26:50,750 --> 00:26:53,082
- What's the matter--
- and they already made us deputies!
348
00:26:53,153 --> 00:26:56,611
- Moe, this is important.
- What do you want?
349
00:26:56,689 --> 00:27:00,955
- What's the date tomorrow?
- The 18th.
350
00:27:01,027 --> 00:27:02,961
- The 18th!
- The 18th!
351
00:27:05,331 --> 00:27:09,529
- Not, not--
- Hey, who sent for the Smiley Brothers?
352
00:27:09,602 --> 00:27:12,400
Hey, you guys are a day early.
Take it easy.
353
00:27:58,885 --> 00:28:01,718
Okay, boys, if you'll start distributing
those leaflets to the saloon...
354
00:28:01,788 --> 00:28:04,689
- I'll get these to other communities.
- Right!
355
00:28:04,757 --> 00:28:07,248
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- Good morning, Sheriff.
356
00:28:07,327 --> 00:28:09,659
You know, the sheriff was
on his way to the post office.
357
00:28:09,729 --> 00:28:12,254
- If you happen to be going that way--
- Oh, sure. Here.
358
00:28:12,332 --> 00:28:14,266
- Let me help you.
- Oh, no, thanks, ma'am.
359
00:28:14,334 --> 00:28:16,996
I'll manage just fine.
360
00:28:23,076 --> 00:28:25,374
Well, I guess he's just
not interested in her.
361
00:28:25,445 --> 00:28:28,642
- And after she saved his life.
- And we can't tell him either.
362
00:28:28,715 --> 00:28:31,206
It's a shame.
She'd be a nice girl for him...
363
00:28:31,284 --> 00:28:33,275
if she was more of a lady.
364
00:28:33,353 --> 00:28:37,414
Yeah. Too bad he can't
give her a little that he's got.
365
00:28:37,490 --> 00:28:38,479
Like class?
366
00:28:38,558 --> 00:28:41,550
And she could give him a little
that she's got and don't need.
367
00:28:41,628 --> 00:28:42,822
Like courage.
368
00:28:42,895 --> 00:28:46,160
- Then we'd have a man's man.
- And a man's woman too.
369
00:28:46,232 --> 00:28:48,757
- I'd better start.
- Yes, let's go.
370
00:28:53,106 --> 00:28:56,564
Hi, sonny, you look like
you can read.
371
00:28:56,643 --> 00:28:58,736
You look like a jackass!
372
00:28:59,912 --> 00:29:02,506
Why, that--
373
00:29:02,582 --> 00:29:05,915
There's only one thing I'd ask for
if I had to tangle with that guy.
374
00:29:05,985 --> 00:29:08,977
- You mean a fair fight?
- No, I mean a head start.
375
00:29:09,055 --> 00:29:10,989
Come on! Go ahead!
376
00:29:13,226 --> 00:29:15,524
- Here. Read all about it.
- Save the buffalo from extinction!
377
00:29:15,595 --> 00:29:20,055
- There you are.
- Get some and pass them to your friends.
378
00:29:22,035 --> 00:29:23,525
Whiskey.
379
00:29:26,272 --> 00:29:27,933
Leave the bottle.
380
00:29:28,007 --> 00:29:30,874
I'll have a Coke.
And leave the bottle.
381
00:29:30,943 --> 00:29:33,503
Give him
a Tarantula Fizz.
382
00:29:33,579 --> 00:29:35,672
Ignore him.
I want a Coke.
383
00:29:38,651 --> 00:29:40,881
Well, what's holding up
my Tarantula Fizz?
384
00:29:40,953 --> 00:29:43,285
Come, come, my man.
Come, come.
385
00:29:43,356 --> 00:29:44,880
Put two tarantulas
in mine.
386
00:29:51,497 --> 00:29:53,590
Bourbon, one day old.
387
00:29:57,970 --> 00:29:59,597
"Teckilah."
388
00:29:59,672 --> 00:30:02,266
- Sounds like an internal hotfoot.
- Who knows?
389
00:30:06,879 --> 00:30:09,074
Fresh gin.
390
00:30:21,728 --> 00:30:24,629
Don't forget
the cactus twist.
391
00:30:40,380 --> 00:30:42,644
That's that cactus
doing the twist, I think.
392
00:30:55,928 --> 00:30:59,955
- Drink up.
- Do I have to?
393
00:31:01,033 --> 00:31:02,432
Yeah, I have to.
394
00:31:20,953 --> 00:31:22,887
How is it, Moe?
395
00:31:22,955 --> 00:31:25,515
- They-- They watered it.
396
00:31:25,591 --> 00:31:27,559
Well, if it's watered,
then you--
397
00:31:27,627 --> 00:31:30,960
Me.
Here's lookin' at ya.
398
00:31:47,914 --> 00:31:49,848
It is watered.
399
00:31:49,916 --> 00:31:51,907
Short life.
400
00:31:53,219 --> 00:31:55,346
You said it!
Short life, chum!
401
00:31:55,421 --> 00:31:58,185
Hey, hey, wait!
Wait a minute, wait a minute!
402
00:31:58,257 --> 00:31:59,884
- Hey, you, come here.
- Me?
403
00:31:59,959 --> 00:32:03,122
Yeah, you. Come here.
I notice you're wearing a Colt.
404
00:32:03,196 --> 00:32:04,993
- Oh, yeah.
- I handle the line out here...
405
00:32:05,064 --> 00:32:06,725
so I hope you don't mind my asking.
406
00:32:06,799 --> 00:32:09,859
How do you like our gun
compared with the--
407
00:32:09,936 --> 00:32:11,426
Oh, very much.
408
00:32:11,504 --> 00:32:15,031
Since I've been using the Colt,
I get four out of five bull's-eyes.
409
00:32:15,107 --> 00:32:17,769
But with a--
I'm lucky if I get two.
410
00:32:19,679 --> 00:32:23,547
- Hey, Joe, you wearing a Colt?
- No, I got a horse pistol.
411
00:32:23,616 --> 00:32:25,880
I raised it from a Colt.
412
00:32:30,256 --> 00:32:33,453
You know, these guys are--
413
00:32:34,260 --> 00:32:36,091
Pretty bad situation, eh?
414
00:32:36,162 --> 00:32:38,858
We figure we're doing
the community a big favor.
415
00:32:38,931 --> 00:32:40,865
- You said it, mister.
- Yeah.
416
00:32:40,933 --> 00:32:43,128
And I'm gonna do the community
an even bigger favor.
417
00:32:43,202 --> 00:32:45,864
- Oh, he's a nice fella.
- Yeah.
418
00:32:45,938 --> 00:32:49,305
- Wait. Easy, easy now.
- Take it easy.
419
00:32:49,375 --> 00:32:50,899
Easy, now!
420
00:32:50,977 --> 00:32:53,036
I thought you were gonna
do good for the community.
421
00:32:53,112 --> 00:32:55,046
- Yeah.
- I am!
422
00:32:55,114 --> 00:32:57,105
You are? Whoa!
423
00:32:59,085 --> 00:33:01,019
Now, I'm warning you.
424
00:33:01,087 --> 00:33:03,021
That was a fella that
I know for many, many years.
425
00:33:03,089 --> 00:33:05,489
And you'd better watch your step,
that's all-- Hey!
426
00:33:05,558 --> 00:33:07,719
Moe, Moe, Moe!
Oh, look out!
427
00:33:10,997 --> 00:33:13,465
What are you sweatin' about, buddy boy?
You been working hard or somethin'?
428
00:33:13,533 --> 00:33:16,934
- They're my-- Hey, watch it!
- Get out of here!
429
00:33:20,640 --> 00:33:22,835
- The nerve that guy's got!
- Give the horses a drink.
430
00:33:22,909 --> 00:33:24,843
Here you are, baby.
431
00:33:27,079 --> 00:33:29,013
Annie, honey,
I can't make you out.
432
00:33:29,081 --> 00:33:31,914
Now, first you wanted to wait until
the middle of summer to get hitched.
433
00:33:31,984 --> 00:33:33,952
Now you're tryin' to stall
till the first of the year.
434
00:33:34,020 --> 00:33:37,421
Oh, I suppose that's the nature
of women, to be ornery, Rance...
435
00:33:37,490 --> 00:33:39,424
especially us blondes.
436
00:33:39,492 --> 00:33:42,017
Rance, that pesky new sher--
437
00:33:42,094 --> 00:33:44,085
Oh, uh, pardon me.
438
00:33:44,163 --> 00:33:47,098
That's all right, Trigger,
but next time, knock.
439
00:33:47,166 --> 00:33:49,498
- Annie--
- I know. I know.
440
00:33:49,569 --> 00:33:51,503
Business meetin', gentlemen.
441
00:33:51,571 --> 00:33:54,369
I bid you adios.
442
00:33:54,440 --> 00:33:56,374
Well?
443
00:33:56,442 --> 00:34:00,708
That new sheriff's got those three idiots
passin' these out all over town.
444
00:34:00,780 --> 00:34:02,645
"Save the buffalo."
445
00:34:02,715 --> 00:34:06,207
Cabot's gettin' too big for his britches.
You gotta stop him, Rance!
446
00:34:06,953 --> 00:34:09,251
What's stopping you
from stopping him?
447
00:34:11,757 --> 00:34:12,883
I gotcha.
448
00:34:12,959 --> 00:34:15,951
And I know how to do that
for permanent.
449
00:34:42,054 --> 00:34:44,818
Wow! What a blast!
450
00:34:46,592 --> 00:34:49,459
- Watch that light! They might come back.
- Oh, I doubt that.
451
00:34:49,528 --> 00:34:52,827
They think they blowed the whole
kit and caboodle of you to kingdom come!
452
00:34:52,898 --> 00:34:56,994
Good thing you warned us, otherwise
they'd be sweeping us up right now.
453
00:34:57,069 --> 00:34:59,936
Well, obviously Roden's determined
to put us out of business...
454
00:35:00,006 --> 00:35:02,941
by fair means or foul.
455
00:35:03,009 --> 00:35:04,943
But why?
456
00:35:05,011 --> 00:35:09,414
He knows this buffalo slaughter's
infuriating the lndians.
457
00:35:09,482 --> 00:35:11,450
I wonder.
458
00:35:13,853 --> 00:35:16,845
Don't be too sure, Sheriff.
459
00:35:16,922 --> 00:35:18,856
A little bird told me
that the tribes are plannin'...
460
00:35:18,924 --> 00:35:21,188
a big powwow
in the hills tomorrow...
461
00:35:21,260 --> 00:35:25,253
- and they ain't all gonna be lndians.
- Where in the hills?
462
00:35:25,331 --> 00:35:27,925
At Bald Knob,
their secret meetin' place.
463
00:35:28,668 --> 00:35:32,263
Maybe if we mosey up there,
we'll get the lowdown.
464
00:35:32,338 --> 00:35:34,932
That's a good idea, fellas.
You go ahead up to Bald Knob...
465
00:35:35,007 --> 00:35:37,407
and I'll stay here
and crank out leaflets.
466
00:35:37,476 --> 00:35:39,239
It could be dangerous here.
467
00:35:40,312 --> 00:35:42,280
You don't have
to worry about me.
468
00:35:42,348 --> 00:35:44,316
I can take care of myself.
469
00:35:44,383 --> 00:35:46,681
But, Mr. Cabot!
470
00:35:46,752 --> 00:35:48,686
You boys go ahead.
471
00:35:48,754 --> 00:35:51,814
I'm sure the sheriff
can take care of himself.
472
00:35:53,192 --> 00:35:56,787
- Bald Knob, here we come.
- Yes, sir! Bald Knob, here we come.
473
00:35:59,031 --> 00:36:02,865
Chief Red Cloud. Sioux.
Okay. Okay.
474
00:36:02,935 --> 00:36:05,301
Chief Black Hawk.
Cheyenne. Okay.
475
00:36:09,508 --> 00:36:13,000
- What tribe are you?
- Escrow lndians.
476
00:36:13,079 --> 00:36:16,537
- Cleveland lndians.
- Me Squaw Hootenanny.
477
00:36:26,492 --> 00:36:29,325
Have special deal for
great Chief Battle Horse.
478
00:36:30,062 --> 00:36:32,496
Paleface kill buffalo.
479
00:36:32,565 --> 00:36:35,966
Now red man with thunder wagon
take many weekend trips...
480
00:36:36,035 --> 00:36:38,003
drive settlers
from hunting grounds...
481
00:36:38,070 --> 00:36:42,666
and guaranteed for 1 2,000 soldiers
or 1 2,000 miles.
482
00:36:42,742 --> 00:36:45,768
- Whichever comes first.
- Right.
483
00:36:47,012 --> 00:36:49,503
Fire-breathing wagon
spit like lightning...
484
00:36:49,582 --> 00:36:51,846
make big boom
like many thunderstorms!
485
00:36:51,917 --> 00:36:55,182
Soon white man crushed.
Buffalo come back...
486
00:36:55,254 --> 00:36:58,280
with thunder
of many pounding hooves!
487
00:36:59,492 --> 00:37:01,460
What he say,
son Charlie Horse?
488
00:37:01,527 --> 00:37:04,155
Oh, he wants to sell us
that souped-up hot rod...
489
00:37:04,230 --> 00:37:07,028
together with
some guns and ammo.
490
00:37:07,099 --> 00:37:09,363
You know, if you'd cut out
that broken English...
491
00:37:09,435 --> 00:37:11,369
and that cornball pantomime...
492
00:37:11,437 --> 00:37:14,964
this transaction
would proceed a lot faster.
493
00:37:15,040 --> 00:37:16,598
Where did you learn
to talk like that?
494
00:37:16,675 --> 00:37:19,644
Alabama U.
I majored in poetry.
495
00:37:19,712 --> 00:37:22,146
Why them no-good,
double-crossing--
496
00:37:24,984 --> 00:37:27,145
With these thunder wagons, Chief,
you can wipe out the cavalry...
497
00:37:27,219 --> 00:37:29,153
and every paleface
in the West.
498
00:37:29,889 --> 00:37:30,981
Take a look!
499
00:37:36,095 --> 00:37:40,589
- Looks like the Monitor.
- A battleship on wheels.
500
00:37:40,666 --> 00:37:42,827
Quiet!
501
00:37:44,170 --> 00:37:46,104
Easy, Sunstroke, easy!
502
00:37:46,906 --> 00:37:49,306
Chief, nothing can stand up
to these thunder wagons.
503
00:37:49,375 --> 00:37:51,309
Watch the way the magic skin
turns away bullets.
504
00:37:56,148 --> 00:37:59,709
Fire-spitting rifle
kill many palefaces.
505
00:37:59,785 --> 00:38:02,219
Give 'em a short burst
and let 'er roll.
506
00:38:11,664 --> 00:38:14,098
Okay, roll it!
507
00:38:17,469 --> 00:38:20,233
- What are we gonna do about this?
- Who knows?
508
00:38:56,408 --> 00:38:59,468
- That's a good way to lose the West.
- The West is doomed.
509
00:39:15,194 --> 00:39:17,924
There you are, Chief.
You want 'em?
510
00:39:19,164 --> 00:39:21,098
Real boss!
511
00:39:21,166 --> 00:39:23,430
Yeah, yeah, we want 'em...
512
00:39:23,502 --> 00:39:25,493
providing you throw in
some fringe benefits...
513
00:39:25,571 --> 00:39:29,166
like wagons for the Cheyennes
and for the Blackfeet
514
00:39:29,241 --> 00:39:32,301
and all our other allies.
515
00:39:32,378 --> 00:39:35,176
- A fleet deal.
- You've got it!
516
00:39:35,247 --> 00:39:38,774
I'll do business with you,
but I won't shake hands.
517
00:39:38,851 --> 00:39:41,479
That's it, Pop.
No skin.
518
00:40:03,475 --> 00:40:06,569
Those faces.
Don't they look like--
519
00:40:10,716 --> 00:40:13,480
Hey, hey, what are you,
a barber or something?
520
00:40:13,552 --> 00:40:17,318
It couldn't be.
I blew 'em to bits last night.
521
00:40:23,729 --> 00:40:26,459
- Take it easy!
- Welcome to the club.
522
00:41:00,866 --> 00:41:03,767
I tell you, Rance,
I seen it with my own eyes.
523
00:41:03,836 --> 00:41:05,770
Cabot's press
is going like crazy.
524
00:41:05,838 --> 00:41:07,772
They're turning these things out
by the thousands.
525
00:41:07,840 --> 00:41:12,174
I'll tell you something. I've had all I'm
gonna take from that nosy tenderfoot.
526
00:41:12,244 --> 00:41:14,337
I don't want that dude
in my hair another day.
527
00:41:14,413 --> 00:41:18,941
Now you get him--
front, side or in the back!
528
00:41:19,885 --> 00:41:23,377
Rance, he's as good
as dead right now.
529
00:41:23,455 --> 00:41:25,787
You know,
they don't call me...
530
00:41:25,858 --> 00:41:28,258
Wyoming's top gun
for nothing.
531
00:41:34,933 --> 00:41:37,868
- Hey, Joe, give me the string.
- I'm busy.
532
00:41:37,936 --> 00:41:40,404
Joe, put your finger in here.
I want to tie a knot.
533
00:41:40,472 --> 00:41:43,305
- I'm busy!
- Did I ask for an argument?
534
00:41:43,375 --> 00:41:45,570
Drop everything!
535
00:41:51,483 --> 00:41:53,417
Get your finger in there,
and we'll tie that.
536
00:41:53,485 --> 00:41:55,919
Everything you do, you always
fracture everything you touch.
537
00:41:55,988 --> 00:41:57,512
I got it, I got it.
There you are.
538
00:41:57,589 --> 00:42:00,023
You got it.
Every time you got it, I get it.
539
00:42:00,092 --> 00:42:02,185
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
540
00:42:03,729 --> 00:42:05,993
Okay, now we've got
exactly ten minutes...
541
00:42:06,065 --> 00:42:08,295
to get these leaflets
onto the 4:30 bus.
542
00:42:09,101 --> 00:42:12,593
Give me Mr. Cabot's list to make sure
we got all the places he had in mind.
543
00:42:12,671 --> 00:42:16,129
- Comin' up, Moe.
- The list. What happened to that list?
544
00:42:16,208 --> 00:42:19,041
- Everything disappears around here.
- What happened to the glue?
545
00:42:19,111 --> 00:42:21,636
There's the list right there,
Moe, right there.
546
00:42:21,713 --> 00:42:23,874
- There you are, boy.
- Okay.
547
00:42:27,786 --> 00:42:30,220
Get my hand off this chair,
will ya?
548
00:42:30,289 --> 00:42:32,223
Your hand?
549
00:42:33,258 --> 00:42:36,819
- There you are.
- Not that one! The other one!
550
00:42:36,895 --> 00:42:39,295
- What are you doing?
- This one! Come on!
551
00:42:39,364 --> 00:42:42,333
Get this table out of the way.
Make some room, will ya?
552
00:42:44,970 --> 00:42:47,996
That's the one.
What's the matter with you?
553
00:42:49,975 --> 00:42:51,909
There you are.
554
00:42:53,278 --> 00:42:55,542
- Maybe you can get it off.
- Get it off.
555
00:42:55,614 --> 00:42:57,844
Yeah, you do it.
556
00:43:00,285 --> 00:43:02,219
You didn't shave
your hand today, did you?
557
00:43:02,287 --> 00:43:05,518
- How are you fixed for blades?
- I'll show you how I'm fixed for blades!
558
00:43:05,591 --> 00:43:07,752
- Just let me get-- Hey!
- What?
559
00:43:07,826 --> 00:43:09,418
- Where'd all this glue come from?
- Glue?
560
00:43:09,495 --> 00:43:13,261
- Get me out of this mess!
- Wait, wait.
561
00:43:13,332 --> 00:43:15,994
- Get me over here, out of this!
- Okay, okay.
562
00:43:16,068 --> 00:43:18,662
Get it off me, fellas,
will ya?
563
00:43:18,737 --> 00:43:21,706
I'm tellin' you, get it off!
I'll murder ya!
564
00:43:34,453 --> 00:43:36,284
Get the tools!
Both of ya!
565
00:43:36,355 --> 00:43:38,289
When I get out of this,
I'm gonna save Roden's gang...
566
00:43:38,357 --> 00:43:40,291
the trouble
of murdering you guys.
567
00:43:41,360 --> 00:43:44,352
You gonna take all day?
Where are the tools?
568
00:43:44,429 --> 00:43:46,363
- Okay, we got the tools.
- Hold this.
569
00:43:46,431 --> 00:43:48,661
- You don't have to worry about it.
- Here. Right here.
570
00:43:48,734 --> 00:43:51,259
- Right there.
- Take it easy now.
571
00:43:51,336 --> 00:43:52,997
Right!
572
00:43:54,106 --> 00:43:55,767
Listen, Larry--
573
00:43:56,875 --> 00:43:59,036
- What's the matter with ya?
- I'm tryin'.
574
00:43:59,111 --> 00:44:01,705
Well, get down there
and get the things loose.
575
00:44:04,249 --> 00:44:07,616
- Right there.
- All right, up, up, a little more.
576
00:44:07,686 --> 00:44:10,154
That's it.
Now the other one.
577
00:44:25,370 --> 00:44:27,895
What's happening?
Looks like there's gonna be trouble.
578
00:44:27,973 --> 00:44:31,136
I wouldn't be
a bit surprised.
579
00:45:01,940 --> 00:45:05,000
Gee, look what Sheriff Cabot
done to Trigger Mortis.
580
00:45:05,077 --> 00:45:08,513
He's even faster
than Mr. Dillon!
581
00:45:08,580 --> 00:45:13,279
Wonderful shootin', Sheriff,
as usual. Congratulations.
582
00:45:13,352 --> 00:45:16,515
Thank you, Miss Annie.
I didn't want to kill the varmint.
583
00:45:16,588 --> 00:45:18,783
Just teach him a lesson.
584
00:45:37,909 --> 00:45:41,276
- That's it. That's it.
- Wait. I'll get a chair. Wait!
585
00:45:41,346 --> 00:45:43,075
Get a chair. We're gonna
make you comfortable.
586
00:45:43,148 --> 00:45:46,208
- I felt like I was going downhill.
- Not with us here!
587
00:45:46,285 --> 00:45:48,549
- There you are.
- Sit down.
588
00:45:48,620 --> 00:45:50,611
- Boy, I'm tickled to death.
- Boy!
589
00:45:50,689 --> 00:45:53,351
- Man, you guys are really friends.
- We're your buddies.
590
00:45:53,425 --> 00:45:55,416
We just-- Oh, no.
591
00:45:57,996 --> 00:46:01,659
- Crowbar!
- Get me out of here! I wanna kill ya!
592
00:46:01,733 --> 00:46:03,667
- Help me out! I wanna kill ya!
- Okay, we'll get ya.
593
00:46:03,735 --> 00:46:06,636
Help me! Watch it!
594
00:46:06,705 --> 00:46:09,174
Watch where you're sticking
those handles. Take it easy!
595
00:46:09,174 --> 00:46:09,731
Watch where you're sticking
those handles. Take it easy!
596
00:46:09,808 --> 00:46:12,675
But, Rance, it was like he had
eyes in the back of his head.
597
00:46:12,744 --> 00:46:14,712
Just as I whip out my gun--
Wham!
598
00:46:14,780 --> 00:46:17,374
He turns around
and gives it to me!
599
00:46:17,449 --> 00:46:20,418
- The top gun in Wyoming.
- But, Rance, I had him dead--
600
00:46:20,485 --> 00:46:23,010
Aw, shut up!
601
00:46:23,088 --> 00:46:26,285
Local talent. It's about time
we called in the pros.
602
00:46:26,358 --> 00:46:28,724
Now, where are
the telegraph blanks?
603
00:46:28,794 --> 00:46:31,285
There.
604
00:46:31,363 --> 00:46:34,958
"Bat Masterson, Dodge City."
605
00:46:50,382 --> 00:46:53,317
That's for being
too lazy to deliver it.
606
00:46:53,385 --> 00:46:56,252
"Sheriff Cabot. Fastest gun ever.
607
00:46:56,321 --> 00:47:00,724
Rush to Casper. Urgent. Roden."
608
00:47:00,792 --> 00:47:03,056
Fastest gun ever?
609
00:47:03,128 --> 00:47:07,030
Mirror, mirror on the wall,
who's the fastest gun of all?
610
00:47:07,099 --> 00:47:11,001
Jesse James,you was best
till this new boy came out west.
611
00:47:11,069 --> 00:47:13,162
That's a lie!
612
00:47:25,684 --> 00:47:30,178
That's what us ladies
think of sheriffs!
613
00:47:30,255 --> 00:47:33,156
Oh, Ringo!
614
00:47:37,362 --> 00:47:41,093
That'll teach ya to interrupt
when I'm swoonin' the gals.
615
00:47:51,476 --> 00:47:54,536
Man, he's a real swinger!
616
00:47:57,482 --> 00:48:02,146
Sorry I can't take it all today.
I got important business in Wyoming.
617
00:48:05,590 --> 00:48:07,581
Tote that barge.
Swish that broom.
618
00:48:07,659 --> 00:48:10,594
Get that rubbish up.
I'll fracture your skull.
619
00:48:10,662 --> 00:48:13,290
And you, lamebrain,
turn that basket up the right way.
620
00:48:13,365 --> 00:48:15,629
lf I do, somebody
will put rubbish in it.
621
00:48:15,700 --> 00:48:19,192
Well, that's the general idea.
Come on here!
622
00:48:19,271 --> 00:48:22,297
- Oh, hi!
- Where's the sheriff?
623
00:48:22,374 --> 00:48:24,968
He went down to the post office
to make a report to Boston.
624
00:48:25,043 --> 00:48:26,635
- Why? What's up?
- Plenty.
625
00:48:26,711 --> 00:48:29,646
I hear Rance Roden has sent for
his gunslingers to get Mr. Cabot...
626
00:48:29,714 --> 00:48:32,512
and that's nine of the meanest,
orneriest galoots...
627
00:48:32,584 --> 00:48:34,051
who ever cheated
the gallows.
628
00:48:34,119 --> 00:48:36,280
And every one,
a dead shot.
629
00:48:36,354 --> 00:48:38,720
- Did you say nine?
- Nine. Due in tonight.
630
00:48:38,790 --> 00:48:41,224
And how we're gonna handle
all of them at once...
631
00:48:41,293 --> 00:48:43,488
is really gonna be
something of a problem.
632
00:48:43,562 --> 00:48:45,325
What about
Fort Henderson?
633
00:48:45,397 --> 00:48:48,491
The news is bad.
The cavalry ain't comin'.
634
00:48:48,567 --> 00:48:51,900
Yeah. The colonel's daughter ran off
with a traveling salesman from St.Joe.
635
00:48:51,970 --> 00:48:54,996
And he's got all the soldiers
out lookin' for them.
636
00:48:56,441 --> 00:49:00,707
Well, I guess the best we can do now
is... pray for a miracle.
637
00:49:01,446 --> 00:49:03,539
Well, don't worry
about it, Annie.
638
00:49:03,615 --> 00:49:05,606
- We'll think of somethin'.
- Yeah, we'll think of somethin'.
639
00:49:05,684 --> 00:49:08,209
We always do, don't we?
640
00:49:08,286 --> 00:49:11,221
Why, certainly we do.
Fellas, look.
641
00:49:11,289 --> 00:49:14,156
In a couple of days,
we'll be laughing at this whole thing...
642
00:49:14,226 --> 00:49:16,558
thinking how silly it was
for us to worry.
643
00:49:16,628 --> 00:49:18,755
Laughin', you hear?
Laughin'.
644
00:49:20,899 --> 00:49:22,867
Laughin', Moe!
645
00:49:27,506 --> 00:49:29,838
At a time like this,
you're laughing?
646
00:49:29,908 --> 00:49:31,842
- What's the matter with you?
- Nine gunslingers!
647
00:49:31,910 --> 00:49:33,844
- Serious, this is.
- Dead shots!
648
00:49:33,912 --> 00:49:37,006
All right, all right, shut up.
I'm worryin'.
649
00:49:52,898 --> 00:49:54,832
Disguise.
650
00:49:56,268 --> 00:49:58,862
You guys sure that that batch
is as strong as the last one?
651
00:49:58,937 --> 00:50:01,030
Stick your finger in there
and see for yourself.
652
00:50:01,106 --> 00:50:04,872
- You'll never get it out again.
- Okay. Now, remember...
653
00:50:04,943 --> 00:50:07,810
Annie told us that the gunslingers
are all in sample room six.
654
00:50:07,879 --> 00:50:08,937
Six.
655
00:50:12,817 --> 00:50:15,251
We really packed 'em in
for the opening tonight.
656
00:50:15,320 --> 00:50:18,153
The show ought to have
a good long run here.
657
00:50:49,454 --> 00:50:52,184
- Here it is, six.
- Yeah. Number six.
658
00:50:52,257 --> 00:50:54,555
- Let's go.
- Sh.
659
00:50:56,394 --> 00:50:58,453
Quiet, you guys.
660
00:50:58,530 --> 00:51:02,489
Okay, never mind.
I'd rather do it myself.
661
00:51:08,073 --> 00:51:10,473
- Where's Moe?
- Chickened out.
662
00:51:10,542 --> 00:51:12,840
We'll do it ourselves.
663
00:51:46,244 --> 00:51:48,235
A gun belt.
664
00:51:52,350 --> 00:51:55,114
I never saw one
like that before.
665
00:52:20,945 --> 00:52:23,971
There must be a gun belt
here someplace.
666
00:52:27,118 --> 00:52:29,416
Don't do that!
667
00:52:29,487 --> 00:52:33,048
- Did you find a gun?
- Only this derringer.
668
00:52:33,124 --> 00:52:36,924
Derringer? That's a curling iron,
you chowderhead.
669
00:52:36,995 --> 00:52:38,929
It must belong
to Wild Bill Hickok.
670
00:52:38,997 --> 00:52:41,295
He wears his hair
down to there.
671
00:52:41,366 --> 00:52:43,391
Yeah. That's probably
why he's wild.
672
00:52:47,806 --> 00:52:49,296
Don't shoot.
673
00:53:01,853 --> 00:53:03,787
I can see he don't
use this for walking.
674
00:53:08,693 --> 00:53:11,184
Come on, baby.
Come on, baby.
675
00:54:26,604 --> 00:54:29,164
Oh, that Hickok.
676
00:54:29,240 --> 00:54:32,869
- Did you find anything?
- Only a pair of mules.
677
00:54:32,944 --> 00:54:35,344
How did he get 'em
past the room clerk?
678
00:54:35,413 --> 00:54:36,971
Not those--
679
00:54:39,818 --> 00:54:43,515
Jane, darlin'.
680
00:54:43,588 --> 00:54:47,080
I didn't know you cared.
681
00:55:01,072 --> 00:55:06,442
- Darling.
- Can I call you... Calamity?
682
00:55:06,511 --> 00:55:10,572
Comes tomorrow morning,
you'll call me worse than that.
683
00:55:10,648 --> 00:55:14,516
- I know why we haven't found any guns.
- Why?
684
00:55:14,586 --> 00:55:18,044
- We've been looking in the wrong places.
- We have?
685
00:55:18,122 --> 00:55:21,285
These guys carry
their guns on their hips.
686
00:55:45,917 --> 00:55:48,283
I think you're wrong, Joe.
Let's try the closet.
687
00:56:14,746 --> 00:56:17,510
Wake up!
I heard a noise.
688
00:56:17,582 --> 00:56:19,516
Somebody's in this room.
689
00:56:20,685 --> 00:56:23,882
I think we made a boo-boo
690
00:56:52,050 --> 00:56:55,747
There's a prowler in here.
I know there is.
691
00:56:55,820 --> 00:56:57,845
I think he's in there.
692
00:56:59,123 --> 00:57:01,648
There's no one in there, dearie.
We just looked.
693
00:57:01,726 --> 00:57:03,591
You must have had
a terrible nightmare.
694
00:57:03,661 --> 00:57:07,597
Yes. Whenever you have sauerkraut
and lobster-- happens every time.
695
00:57:07,665 --> 00:57:09,599
Coming, Catherine?
696
00:57:09,667 --> 00:57:11,897
Catherine, come on.
697
00:57:11,970 --> 00:57:14,063
So long.
I'll be seeing you.
698
00:57:18,242 --> 00:57:21,177
- Pardon me, madam.
- Think nothing of it, Moe.
699
00:57:25,750 --> 00:57:28,776
- Come on, get out of here.
- Leave me alone with those killers!
700
00:57:28,853 --> 00:57:31,413
Come on, come on.
Get goin'. Come on.
701
00:57:58,549 --> 00:58:00,847
Hey, Moe, here they come.
702
00:58:00,918 --> 00:58:03,182
Well, they'll be sorry.
703
00:58:03,254 --> 00:58:05,188
Get that over there.
How do you feel?
704
00:58:06,491 --> 00:58:11,758
Oh, fine. I mean,
Annie told me this morning...
705
00:58:11,829 --> 00:58:15,060
- there was nothing to worry about.
- That should settle it.
706
00:58:16,534 --> 00:58:18,934
Well, I guess we better
get it over with.
707
00:58:19,003 --> 00:58:21,233
Yes, I guess we better.
Let's go.
708
00:58:23,341 --> 00:58:27,175
Bein' as I got to town first, boys,
he's my pigeon.
709
00:58:27,245 --> 00:58:30,237
- Fair enough, Cole.
- Here he comes.
710
00:58:48,599 --> 00:58:52,365
Hold still! Hold still, Annie.
No tricks. Hands off the gun.
711
00:59:20,698 --> 00:59:23,326
- It works! It works!
- Now's your chance, Mr. Cabot!
712
00:59:23,401 --> 00:59:26,097
Fan your gun!
Fan your gun!
713
00:59:32,110 --> 00:59:34,305
Let 'em have it, Mr. Cabot!
Shoot! Shoot!
714
01:00:01,639 --> 01:00:03,766
You'll hear about me!
715
01:00:04,742 --> 01:00:07,734
Let somebody draw
that knows how.
716
01:00:39,744 --> 01:00:43,271
All right!
Now not another move.
717
01:00:50,555 --> 01:00:52,546
That smarts.
718
01:00:53,724 --> 01:00:56,386
Go see a chiropodist, buddy.
719
01:00:56,460 --> 01:00:58,758
Let's see you
get out of this.
720
01:01:10,208 --> 01:01:12,608
Pretty good, eh?
Come on.
721
01:01:19,283 --> 01:01:23,652
Attaboy, Mr. Cabot. You're still
the fastest gun in Casper.
722
01:01:23,721 --> 01:01:25,712
That'll teach 'em not to mess around
with a Harvard man.
723
01:01:25,790 --> 01:01:29,453
Yeah, or us. Come on, fellas.
Let's clean it up.
724
01:01:54,785 --> 01:01:57,117
Better late than never,
Sheriff Cabot.
725
01:01:57,188 --> 01:02:00,555
- Who are you?
- Wild Bill Hickok.
726
01:02:00,625 --> 01:02:03,389
And the lady
is Belle Star.
727
01:02:05,363 --> 01:02:09,197
I got 19 notches
in my gun, Sheriff...
728
01:02:09,267 --> 01:02:11,827
and you'll make it
an even 20.
729
01:02:12,970 --> 01:02:15,996
I never kill
from this close.
730
01:02:21,946 --> 01:02:24,176
Get 'im, Bill.
731
01:02:30,588 --> 01:02:33,614
Can't keep a lady waitin', Sheriff.
732
01:02:33,691 --> 01:02:35,181
Draw.
733
01:02:50,908 --> 01:02:52,899
You won't get off so lucky,
this time, Sheriff.
734
01:02:52,977 --> 01:02:55,741
- Ken, wait!
- Annie Oakley?
735
01:02:55,813 --> 01:02:58,281
It don't look good for you
to tackle a woman.
736
01:02:58,349 --> 01:03:00,340
This one's mine.
737
01:03:00,418 --> 01:03:02,579
Suits me, Annie,
but the sheriff's first.
738
01:03:09,694 --> 01:03:11,753
Why, you--
739
01:03:40,291 --> 01:03:42,282
You heard what I been
tellin' ya?
740
01:03:42,360 --> 01:03:44,419
All right. You sorry
for what you done?
741
01:03:46,464 --> 01:03:48,955
Boys, make 'em sorry
for what they done.
742
01:03:53,838 --> 01:03:55,829
We're sorry for what we done!
743
01:03:55,906 --> 01:03:57,965
Now, that's more like it.
744
01:03:58,042 --> 01:04:00,408
Boys, we got a rat right here
in Casper City with a capital R
745
01:04:00,478 --> 01:04:02,912
And that stands for rotten
and that rhymes with Roden
746
01:04:02,980 --> 01:04:05,972
- Yeah, a rotten Roden rat.
- With a capital R.
747
01:04:06,050 --> 01:04:08,951
Yeah, we got a rat right here
in Casper City
748
01:04:09,019 --> 01:04:10,509
With a capital R
749
01:04:10,588 --> 01:04:13,352
That stands for rotten
and that rhymes with Roden
750
01:04:13,424 --> 01:04:16,359
- Now, that's more like it.
- Hey, there's another one.
751
01:04:16,427 --> 01:04:19,294
Bring the brother in.
Join the flock, brother. Hallelujah. Yes, sir.
752
01:04:19,363 --> 01:04:22,025
I wanna go home.
I wanna go home!
753
01:04:22,099 --> 01:04:25,034
- He wants to go home.
- Shut up, you crybaby!
754
01:04:25,102 --> 01:04:26,592
There.
755
01:04:43,921 --> 01:04:46,856
Now,you do say
huntin'buffalo's an awful sin
756
01:04:46,924 --> 01:04:50,485
Yeah, we say huntin'buffalo's
an awful sin
757
01:04:50,561 --> 01:04:52,859
Good-bye, crime
Hello, law and order
758
01:04:52,930 --> 01:04:56,229
Good-bye, crime
Hello, law and order
759
01:04:56,300 --> 01:04:58,734
You through with Rance Roden?
760
01:05:00,137 --> 01:05:02,469
I didn't hear nothin', brother.
761
01:05:05,643 --> 01:05:07,133
Yeah, yeah!
762
01:05:07,211 --> 01:05:10,806
Yea, brother,yea
We're through with Rance Roden
763
01:05:39,510 --> 01:05:41,501
I want my Bill!
764
01:05:44,014 --> 01:05:46,505
You poor lamb.
Where'd she get you?
765
01:05:48,152 --> 01:05:50,143
I don't see no bullet holes.
766
01:05:51,288 --> 01:05:53,279
Where are they?
767
01:05:54,258 --> 01:05:57,989
Well, I'm not
really wounded, Annie.
768
01:05:58,062 --> 01:06:01,589
I... just passed out.
769
01:06:01,665 --> 01:06:03,656
Passed out?
770
01:06:05,102 --> 01:06:08,162
Of all the no-account, spineless...
771
01:06:08,239 --> 01:06:10,230
jellyfish.
772
01:06:12,510 --> 01:06:15,638
From now on,
you can do your own shootin'.
773
01:06:18,249 --> 01:06:20,740
Do my own shootin'?
774
01:06:20,818 --> 01:06:23,150
Believe me, fellas,
if you take the straight and narrow...
775
01:06:23,220 --> 01:06:25,745
kids all over the world
will look up to you.
776
01:06:25,823 --> 01:06:28,053
When we get back to Boston,
we'll print picture books about you...
777
01:06:28,125 --> 01:06:30,184
with songs and stories.
778
01:06:30,261 --> 01:06:33,094
Your names will live forever.
You may even get into TV.
779
01:06:33,163 --> 01:06:34,653
I'm sold!
780
01:06:34,732 --> 01:06:37,565
Listen, right now Trigger and Roden
are up in Bald Knob...
781
01:06:37,635 --> 01:06:40,069
selling guns and ammunition
to the lndians.
782
01:06:40,137 --> 01:06:42,970
They're gonna start
a full-scale attack by daybreak.
783
01:06:43,040 --> 01:06:45,406
All right. You wanna make up
for what you done?
784
01:06:47,177 --> 01:06:48,906
Saddle up and find the cavalry.
785
01:06:48,979 --> 01:06:51,948
Let's go, boys! Let's show 'em
we've really reformed.
786
01:06:52,016 --> 01:06:54,007
- We've reformed!
- Let's show 'em!
787
01:06:57,755 --> 01:07:00,622
If we could only get a picture showing
Roden selling guns to the lndians...
788
01:07:00,691 --> 01:07:03,353
that would bring the whole United States
government down on his neck--
789
01:07:03,427 --> 01:07:06,692
End the buffalo war and put him
in the clink with the rest of the rodents.
790
01:07:06,764 --> 01:07:08,254
That's with a capital R.
791
01:07:08,332 --> 01:07:10,357
I got a camera.
What are we waitin' for?
792
01:07:10,434 --> 01:07:12,834
We're waitin' for ya
to get it, you mongoose!
793
01:07:12,903 --> 01:07:15,394
- Is that with a capital M?
- No, that's with a capital Gun.
794
01:07:15,472 --> 01:07:17,463
Come on. Come on.
795
01:07:23,147 --> 01:07:27,106
- I'm sorry, Larry.
- Mr. Cabot, what's wrong?
796
01:07:27,184 --> 01:07:28,845
Boys...
797
01:07:28,919 --> 01:07:32,320
I've decided to close up shop
and go back to Boston.
798
01:07:32,389 --> 01:07:34,448
What?
799
01:07:34,525 --> 01:07:36,516
I've been a fool.
800
01:07:36,594 --> 01:07:39,927
I know that Annie
did all the shooting for me and--
801
01:07:39,997 --> 01:07:42,261
Well, now she won't
even talk to me.
802
01:07:42,333 --> 01:07:45,564
- But you can't quit now.
- There's something wrong at Bald Knob.
803
01:07:45,636 --> 01:07:47,627
We'll tell you about it
on the way over. Come on.
804
01:07:47,705 --> 01:07:50,367
We'll tell you all about it
on the way over.
805
01:08:14,632 --> 01:08:18,762
As General Custer said, "Look at
all them fightin' lndians."
806
01:08:18,836 --> 01:08:21,236
What are they, Blackfeet?
807
01:08:21,305 --> 01:08:23,296
I can't see their feet...
808
01:08:23,374 --> 01:08:25,604
but the rest of'em
don't look too clean.
809
01:08:25,676 --> 01:08:27,871
With guns and thunder wagon...
810
01:08:27,945 --> 01:08:31,540
great chief will mow down enemies
like ripe grain before the wind.
811
01:08:31,615 --> 01:08:34,209
Cool it, pale daddy.
We dig the setup.
812
01:08:34,284 --> 01:08:37,276
We don't wanna go through
that lndian jazz again.
813
01:08:38,856 --> 01:08:42,451
- What's the matter now?
- I think the chief's got a beef.
814
01:08:42,526 --> 01:08:45,825
My papa says, since we're payin'
for this thing in cash...
815
01:08:45,896 --> 01:08:47,887
we want a ten percent discount.
816
01:08:47,965 --> 01:08:50,058
- Huh?
- You "wantum" wampum...
817
01:08:50,134 --> 01:08:52,364
you "cutum pricem."
818
01:08:52,436 --> 01:08:54,427
You got a deal.
819
01:09:02,112 --> 01:09:06,310
Boy, somethin' tells me
we're gonna make history with this.
820
01:09:14,792 --> 01:09:16,783
Here's your loot.
821
01:09:16,860 --> 01:09:18,885
Are you ready?
822
01:09:18,962 --> 01:09:20,554
Say "cheese."
823
01:09:20,631 --> 01:09:22,997
Boys, this is gonna be
dynamite.
824
01:09:33,744 --> 01:09:36,736
What are you waitin' for?
Can't you see they're paleface spies?
825
01:09:39,683 --> 01:09:41,674
Where's Larry?
826
01:09:44,655 --> 01:09:46,953
Hey, what's goin' on here?
827
01:09:47,024 --> 01:09:49,015
You sure you don't wanna--
828
01:09:49,093 --> 01:09:52,688
Take it easy.
I see stripes are in style this season.
829
01:09:53,897 --> 01:09:55,888
Greasy kid stuff, Moe.
830
01:09:55,966 --> 01:09:59,458
- All right, all right.
- Easy. Easy.
831
01:10:11,915 --> 01:10:15,476
One, two, three, four--
832
01:10:16,653 --> 01:10:19,144
What comes after four?
Oh, that's enough.
833
01:10:28,866 --> 01:10:30,356
Perfect.
834
01:10:39,777 --> 01:10:42,041
Hi. Have you heard the story...
835
01:10:42,112 --> 01:10:44,876
about the elephant
and the little mouse--
836
01:10:44,948 --> 01:10:47,746
What are ya, a bouncer
or something? Take it easy.
837
01:10:47,818 --> 01:10:49,911
I'll get myself a cheap lawyer.
838
01:10:49,987 --> 01:10:51,921
End of the line, Sheriff.
839
01:10:53,457 --> 01:10:56,915
Here comes the fourth one.
It's a clean sweep.
840
01:11:03,100 --> 01:11:05,591
That's a devil box, Chief.
There's an evil spirit inside...
841
01:11:05,669 --> 01:11:07,830
that'll curse your tribe,
and they'll lose in battle.
842
01:11:07,905 --> 01:11:09,395
Kill it.
843
01:11:12,643 --> 01:11:15,271
That's a neat idea, boys.
Too bad it didn't work.
844
01:11:15,345 --> 01:11:19,679
You renegades!
You'll regret this.
845
01:11:19,750 --> 01:11:22,048
So will you.
846
01:11:22,853 --> 01:11:24,844
I don't know how you got away
from my gunslingers...
847
01:11:24,922 --> 01:11:26,913
but you're gonna wish
they killed you first.
848
01:11:26,990 --> 01:11:30,357
Now you're gonna get it
the slow way-- over hot coals.
849
01:11:33,297 --> 01:11:36,789
Wait a minute! We'd rather
you hang us to that tree.
850
01:11:39,436 --> 01:11:42,405
Why, that tree won't be ready
for 60 years.
851
01:11:42,472 --> 01:11:43,962
We'll wait.
852
01:11:50,113 --> 01:11:52,547
Make the fat one medium rare.
853
01:11:52,616 --> 01:11:57,053
I gotta get goin', Trigger, but you
stick around and make sure they--
854
01:11:57,120 --> 01:11:59,748
This will be a pleasure,
Mr. Roden.
855
01:12:00,757 --> 01:12:02,748
So long.
Happy hunting, Chief.
856
01:12:05,195 --> 01:12:06,685
Charlie.
857
01:12:08,065 --> 01:12:10,056
Make smoke signals
to start the war.
858
01:12:10,133 --> 01:12:12,863
You bet, Pop.
Comin' up.
859
01:12:12,936 --> 01:12:16,463
No hanky-panky with that Pawnee chick
on the other side of the valley.
860
01:12:16,540 --> 01:12:20,203
You can trust me, Pop.
That Pawnee's too scrawny.
861
01:12:26,149 --> 01:12:29,812
Hey, Zsa Zsa,
you knittin' or just sittin'?
862
01:12:29,887 --> 01:12:32,685
Get on with the message,
bigmouth.
863
01:14:52,329 --> 01:14:54,320
My son, the doctor.
864
01:14:58,402 --> 01:15:00,768
Hey, watch it, Kildare.
865
01:15:00,837 --> 01:15:04,500
Chief, we're wastin' time.
Let's get this over with.
866
01:15:04,574 --> 01:15:07,304
Chief, he's the one who's been
killing your buffalo.
867
01:15:07,377 --> 01:15:10,972
Now they're trying to stir up a war
so they can get rich selling you guns.
868
01:15:11,048 --> 01:15:14,245
Boy, is that ever a pile of--
869
01:15:14,317 --> 01:15:17,081
Lies. Lies.
870
01:15:17,154 --> 01:15:20,385
They spy for paleface enemies.
871
01:15:20,457 --> 01:15:22,687
All our buffalo destroyed.
872
01:15:22,759 --> 01:15:25,159
Now all white men die.
873
01:15:26,963 --> 01:15:28,954
Moe, the horn. The horn.
874
01:15:29,032 --> 01:15:32,263
- Hey, the horn.
- Hey, Chief, he's got the magic flute.
875
01:15:32,335 --> 01:15:36,635
I can make the Great Spirit
bring your buffalo back.
876
01:15:38,708 --> 01:15:40,699
He speaks the truth, Chief.
877
01:15:40,777 --> 01:15:43,007
He's bullin' ya, Chief.
He's bullin' ya.
878
01:15:43,080 --> 01:15:45,310
And he's stallin'.
Don't listen to him.
879
01:15:45,382 --> 01:15:48,818
I can.
Well, if you turn me loose.
880
01:15:48,885 --> 01:15:52,548
I can't play a flute
with my hands tied, can I?
881
01:15:55,692 --> 01:15:57,683
Untie him.
882
01:16:10,273 --> 01:16:12,264
Let me see, what was that?
883
01:16:12,342 --> 01:16:16,870
Did I play a slow pizzicato,
or was it a fast obbligato?
884
01:16:16,947 --> 01:16:18,938
I got it.
885
01:16:33,897 --> 01:16:36,388
I don't see buffalo.
886
01:16:36,466 --> 01:16:39,026
Because there ain't
no buffalo!
887
01:16:39,102 --> 01:16:41,093
Now let's get on
with the burning.
888
01:16:42,839 --> 01:16:46,639
Wait a minute.
He was only tuning up.
889
01:16:46,710 --> 01:16:48,769
Now remember that tune.
Get some buffalo...
890
01:16:48,845 --> 01:16:50,938
or I'll give you worse
than a hotfoot.
891
01:16:51,014 --> 01:16:53,005
- Okay. Give me an A.
- A.
892
01:17:11,034 --> 01:17:14,197
Nothing.
We're wasting time.
893
01:17:14,271 --> 01:17:16,603
Doctor, light the fire.
894
01:17:17,874 --> 01:17:20,604
- Hey, hey, hey!
- Get outta there.
895
01:17:20,677 --> 01:17:24,113
Get away.
Go away, you ugly pyromaniac.
896
01:17:24,181 --> 01:17:26,877
I got one more chance.
One more chance, Chief.
897
01:17:27,551 --> 01:17:30,281
One more chance, Moe.
898
01:17:42,966 --> 01:17:44,957
Holy cows!
899
01:18:03,153 --> 01:18:05,849
I'm a success!
Moe, I'm a success!
900
01:18:23,073 --> 01:18:25,064
Untie them.
901
01:18:27,077 --> 01:18:28,942
I did it!
I'm a success!
902
01:18:29,679 --> 01:18:32,273
Make smoke, Charlie.
Call off war.
903
01:18:32,349 --> 01:18:34,579
Papa, you're always
pickin' on me.
904
01:18:34,651 --> 01:18:37,586
Why don't you send
your son, the doctor?
905
01:18:37,654 --> 01:18:39,144
Roger!
906
01:18:42,826 --> 01:18:46,455
My instant photo. I took it
before they smashed the camera.
907
01:18:46,529 --> 01:18:49,191
Oh, boy. Wait till the government
gets a load of this.
908
01:18:56,539 --> 01:18:58,530
He's gettin' away!
909
01:19:01,978 --> 01:19:03,468
Go get 'im!
910
01:19:10,253 --> 01:19:12,448
The quicker we turn that photo
over to the authorities...
911
01:19:12,522 --> 01:19:15,286
the sooner law and order
will be restored in the West.
912
01:19:15,358 --> 01:19:17,485
Well, Chief, we gotta get goin'
back to Casper.
913
01:19:17,560 --> 01:19:20,791
Hey. It's a long walk
back to Casper.
914
01:19:20,864 --> 01:19:24,994
Go ahead and take that chuck wagon
we got from the cavalry.
915
01:19:25,068 --> 01:19:27,036
That'll be fine.
916
01:19:27,103 --> 01:19:30,334
Return it to the army, please.
917
01:19:30,407 --> 01:19:32,637
Tell them we took it by mistake.
918
01:19:34,678 --> 01:19:36,168
Thanks, Chief.
919
01:19:36,246 --> 01:19:38,544
- Bye, Chief.
- Bye-bye.
920
01:19:38,615 --> 01:19:41,015
- You got a bad bunch of dancers.
- So long.
921
01:19:41,084 --> 01:19:43,609
So long, Chief,
and this is yours.
922
01:19:43,687 --> 01:19:45,848
I won't need that
back in Boston.
923
01:19:48,224 --> 01:19:49,885
No need to worry now, Son.
924
01:19:49,959 --> 01:19:51,950
You said it, "Paparooni".
925
01:19:52,028 --> 01:19:54,019
Why, with that swingin' tooter...
926
01:19:54,097 --> 01:19:56,657
we'll have two buffalo
in every teepee.
927
01:19:58,034 --> 01:20:01,697
- Give me an A.
-A
928
01:20:16,019 --> 01:20:19,455
- Where do you think you're goin'?
- Anyplace the afternoon stage will take me.
929
01:20:19,522 --> 01:20:23,049
No, you're not. Nobody walks out
on me, not even Annie Oakley.
930
01:20:23,126 --> 01:20:26,687
Rance. Cabot's got a photo of us
selling them rifles to the lndians.
931
01:20:26,763 --> 01:20:28,754
They're probably
on their way to town right now.
932
01:20:28,832 --> 01:20:31,824
We've got to intercept them and get
that photo, or we're as good as strung up.
933
01:20:31,901 --> 01:20:35,632
- They were all supposed to be dead by now.
- They bamboozled their way out.
934
01:20:35,705 --> 01:20:39,402
- We've got to get that photo.
- We'll get that photo and them too.
935
01:20:39,476 --> 01:20:41,603
No, you don't.
You're not warning anybody.
936
01:20:41,678 --> 01:20:43,669
You're going with me.
937
01:20:49,085 --> 01:20:52,521
Well, as soon as we turn that picture
over to the authorities...
938
01:20:52,589 --> 01:20:54,682
we'll be headed
back to Boston.
939
01:20:54,758 --> 01:20:56,749
Our work here is finished.
940
01:20:56,826 --> 01:20:59,954
- What about Annie?
- Well, I--
941
01:21:01,564 --> 01:21:04,158
- What happened?
- Hey, boys!
942
01:21:06,269 --> 01:21:07,998
Get us outta here!
943
01:21:36,633 --> 01:21:39,966
Okay, kid.
Get that up here.
944
01:21:40,036 --> 01:21:41,799
Get 'em!
945
01:21:44,374 --> 01:21:48,003
I'll blow that carriage
right out from underneath them.
946
01:21:55,251 --> 01:21:58,550
How do you like that?
At a time like this, a flat tire.
947
01:22:05,428 --> 01:22:07,419
Look out!
Get that gun inside.
948
01:22:16,172 --> 01:22:18,868
It's Trigger and Roden,
and they got Annie with them.
949
01:22:45,535 --> 01:22:47,765
- Battle stations!
- Battle stations!
950
01:22:57,380 --> 01:22:59,575
- Get your head outta the way!
- I'm not the enemy!
951
01:23:13,396 --> 01:23:15,728
- Heavy artillery!
- Heavy artillery!
952
01:23:23,673 --> 01:23:25,334
Right on the schnoz.
953
01:23:26,809 --> 01:23:28,743
- Look out now.
- Get 'em, Moe.
954
01:23:28,811 --> 01:23:31,575
- What's the matter with you?
- Watch what you're doin'.
955
01:23:33,516 --> 01:23:35,006
Why, you--
956
01:23:40,456 --> 01:23:42,447
Why don't you
get outta the way!
957
01:23:42,525 --> 01:23:44,516
There you are.
Get 'im. Get Trigger.
958
01:23:56,539 --> 01:23:58,632
Whoa.
959
01:24:08,484 --> 01:24:11,544
If we only had a gun
to give him cover.
960
01:24:16,292 --> 01:24:18,817
He's liable
to get killed out there.
961
01:24:18,895 --> 01:24:20,886
Hey, Moe, the meat grinder.
962
01:24:22,465 --> 01:24:24,160
Get out of there, Annie.
963
01:24:41,918 --> 01:24:45,285
What a whack in the jaw!
Come on, boys.
964
01:25:19,756 --> 01:25:21,781
Take it easy.
What happened?
965
01:25:21,858 --> 01:25:23,348
All right.
966
01:25:28,798 --> 01:25:30,766
Good boy!
967
01:25:40,276 --> 01:25:42,301
Give 'im an upper shoot!
968
01:26:06,836 --> 01:26:09,999
Here they come,
late as usual.
969
01:26:10,073 --> 01:26:12,633
Over there. Go ahead.
Right over there. Come on.
970
01:26:17,080 --> 01:26:19,742
Come on! Get over there.
Come on. Right there.
971
01:26:20,450 --> 01:26:23,351
Sixth United States Cavalry, sir.
At your service.
972
01:26:23,419 --> 01:26:26,582
For a while, Colonel,
we thought you were gonna be late.
973
01:26:26,656 --> 01:26:29,090
Sir! Never in the history
of motion pictures...
974
01:26:29,158 --> 01:26:31,683
has the United States Cavalry
ever been late.
975
01:26:31,761 --> 01:26:33,285
I'll betcha.
976
01:26:33,362 --> 01:26:35,523
Did you hear what he said?
977
01:26:35,598 --> 01:26:37,793
Never mind.
978
01:26:37,867 --> 01:26:41,098
Well, at any rate, there's
a couple of prisoners there...
979
01:26:41,170 --> 01:26:43,297
and you'd better not be late
with them.
980
01:26:43,372 --> 01:26:46,466
- No, sir.
- That'll be all, mustache.
981
01:26:47,877 --> 01:26:49,868
I wish I had a camera.
982
01:26:59,489 --> 01:27:03,186
Boys! You look great.
That's the way we like to see you.
983
01:27:03,259 --> 01:27:07,355
- So long, fellas. Be good.
- Don't forget what we told ya.
984
01:27:07,430 --> 01:27:10,661
Good-bye, crime!
Hello, law and order!
985
01:27:10,733 --> 01:27:12,724
- See ya, Wyatt.
- So long, Bat.
986
01:27:12,802 --> 01:27:15,862
So long there, boy.
Take care of yourself.
987
01:27:15,938 --> 01:27:18,907
Good-bye,crime.
Hello, law and order.
988
01:27:18,975 --> 01:27:22,138
Good-bye, crime.
Hello, law and order.
989
01:27:25,982 --> 01:27:27,973
Hey, fellas.
990
01:27:28,050 --> 01:27:30,450
Just like in the big-budget westerns...
991
01:27:30,520 --> 01:27:33,011
we're gonna get
to ride off into the sunset.
992
01:27:36,626 --> 01:27:40,118
Sunset, huh?
You had to open your big fat mouth.
993
01:27:43,065 --> 01:27:45,533
Come on, fellas.
I thought that--
994
01:27:45,601 --> 01:27:47,967
Wait a minute.
Wait for me.
995
01:27:48,967 --> 01:27:58,967
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