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1
00:00:04,520 --> 00:00:07,314
Entertainment Five Minutes Ago.
2
00:00:07,395 --> 00:00:10,222
The entertainment program
so now, if you're watching it,
3
00:00:10,309 --> 00:00:12,183
you're already living in the past...
4
00:00:12,545 --> 00:00:13,941
Hey, that's me!
5
00:00:14,022 --> 00:00:16,089
Tonight,
on Entertainment Five Minutes ago,
6
00:00:16,178 --> 00:00:17,450
we ask the question...
7
00:00:17,536 --> 00:00:19,728
Whatever happened to Johnny Bravo?
8
00:00:19,811 --> 00:00:21,560
What kind of question is that?
9
00:00:22,846 --> 00:00:25,072
I'm right here man. Living the dream.
10
00:00:25,161 --> 00:00:26,717
From wannabe stud...
11
00:00:28,156 --> 00:00:29,224
Man, I love me.
12
00:00:29,314 --> 00:00:31,301
To wannabe socialite...
13
00:00:31,390 --> 00:00:32,264
Wannabe?
14
00:00:32,348 --> 00:00:34,097
Why do they keep saying wannabe?
15
00:00:38,417 --> 00:00:40,324
To wannabe TV host...
16
00:00:40,413 --> 00:00:41,526
It's wasabi!
17
00:00:41,611 --> 00:00:43,802
The writers are trying
to say I'm "hot" in Japanese!
18
00:00:43,886 --> 00:00:45,113
Learn to read, man!
19
00:00:47,679 --> 00:00:50,314
And, tonight, we answer... who cares?
20
00:00:50,394 --> 00:00:53,982
Because we've got an exclusive
with Bobby Goodlookinson,
21
00:00:54,067 --> 00:00:56,861
star of "Sparkle Vampire in Love."
22
00:01:02,332 --> 00:01:03,081
Jeeves!
23
00:01:03,929 --> 00:01:05,916
Jeeves, where's my deep fried
peanut butter
24
00:01:06,005 --> 00:01:07,356
and banana sandwich pizza burger
25
00:01:07,442 --> 00:01:09,793
and my deep fried milkshake
to wash it down?
26
00:01:12,353 --> 00:01:13,386
Did you see that?
27
00:01:13,671 --> 00:01:16,657
They bumped my spot
for some freak with an overbite!
28
00:01:16,745 --> 00:01:18,335
What are they trying to say?
29
00:01:18,422 --> 00:01:21,931
That all chicks dig
is skinny dudes with feelings!
30
00:01:23,772 --> 00:01:26,724
I know it's not your fault
that my superstardom somehow got
31
00:01:26,806 --> 00:01:28,202
sucked into a black hole.
32
00:01:28,563 --> 00:01:30,391
What's up with Hollywood nowadays?
33
00:01:30,479 --> 00:01:33,591
When did buff and pretty give way
to whiny and pasty?
34
00:01:33,673 --> 00:01:37,137
Where are all the parts
for the awesome dudes of the world?
35
00:01:37,985 --> 00:01:40,018
Man, I even made that...
36
00:01:40,421 --> 00:01:41,852
that thing...
37
00:01:42,576 --> 00:01:46,802
The Audition Tape that I posted
on the Internet and can't erase!
38
00:01:48,126 --> 00:01:49,194
It's alright little buddy.
39
00:01:49,284 --> 00:01:51,998
I gotcha. You don't have
to watch that thing again.
40
00:01:52,079 --> 00:01:53,952
And again. And again.
41
00:01:55,832 --> 00:01:58,580
After all the hotness
I've brought to the world,
42
00:01:58,666 --> 00:02:01,051
you'd think the world
would wanna give something back...
43
00:02:01,142 --> 00:02:04,333
It's official: Hollywood is dead.
44
00:02:04,416 --> 00:02:06,971
Long live Bollywood.
45
00:02:07,051 --> 00:02:09,606
The Indian film industry
is where it's at.
46
00:02:09,686 --> 00:02:12,355
A place where stars
are worshipped like gods
47
00:02:12,441 --> 00:02:14,076
and the women are so gorgeous
48
00:02:14,157 --> 00:02:16,508
they make Hollywood actresses
look like something
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00:02:16,593 --> 00:02:18,943
that a booger with a hair
in it would puke up.
50
00:02:20,905 --> 00:02:22,098
Bollywood, huh.
51
00:02:22,582 --> 00:02:23,331
Aw man!
52
00:02:23,420 --> 00:02:25,327
That's got Bravo written all over it!
53
00:02:25,416 --> 00:02:27,370
Cause, y'know,
they both begin with the letter
54
00:02:28,131 --> 00:02:28,688
"Buh!"
55
00:02:29,050 --> 00:02:30,764
Jeeves! Pack your things!
56
00:02:30,846 --> 00:02:33,118
We're gonna go make us
some Indian movies!
57
00:02:33,202 --> 00:02:35,235
...in Indiana!
58
00:02:45,898 --> 00:02:48,646
The Indians are gonna love me.
59
00:04:38,257 --> 00:04:39,612
You rang?
60
00:04:41,299 --> 00:04:43,052
I mean... you rang?
61
00:04:45,222 --> 00:04:45,973
What's this?
62
00:04:46,703 --> 00:04:48,102
A letter from Johnny?
63
00:04:49,264 --> 00:04:51,223
Johnny wrote a whole letter?
64
00:04:51,546 --> 00:04:53,458
Using the alphabet?
65
00:04:55,148 --> 00:04:58,063
Dear Mama, if you are reading this,
66
00:04:58,150 --> 00:05:00,188
it means that I am dead...
67
00:05:01,632 --> 00:05:06,426
Oh, Johnny Johnny... Noooo...?
68
00:05:08,517 --> 00:05:13,356
...dead keen on becoming
the biggest star in Bollywood, Indiana.
69
00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:14,840
Love Johnny.
70
00:05:15,642 --> 00:05:18,716
Wait... Did he say Indiana?
71
00:05:39,177 --> 00:05:41,648
I told Jeeves a direct flight to Indiana
72
00:05:41,739 --> 00:05:45,530
72 hours... 5 stopovers.
Four different countries?
73
00:05:46,222 --> 00:05:48,533
Oh well. I guess coach class beats...
74
00:05:49,064 --> 00:05:50,179
air class.
75
00:06:06,395 --> 00:06:09,469
My new body is quite the excellent treat.
76
00:06:10,077 --> 00:06:11,671
Such gracefulness.
77
00:06:12,359 --> 00:06:14,158
I am like the space-tiger.
78
00:06:15,841 --> 00:06:17,435
Hello, flying lizard.
79
00:06:17,522 --> 00:06:19,834
Prepare for me to insert my tail
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00:06:19,924 --> 00:06:22,964
in your ear and make you my life pet.
81
00:06:23,686 --> 00:06:26,965
Oh, mama...
this guy's the worst actor since...
82
00:06:27,369 --> 00:06:29,088
since the guy from the real movie.
83
00:06:29,690 --> 00:06:32,525
You are mistaken. That is Jiggy.
84
00:06:32,612 --> 00:06:34,651
He is Bollywood's biggest star.
85
00:06:34,894 --> 00:06:35,725
That guy?
86
00:06:36,135 --> 00:06:37,774
That's my competition?
87
00:06:39,217 --> 00:06:42,097
This fame thing just got way too easy!
88
00:06:42,178 --> 00:06:47,018
Jiggy... Jiggy..Jiggy...
89
00:07:11,398 --> 00:07:13,834
Johnny Bin the house! Who loves me?
90
00:07:13,919 --> 00:07:16,595
And I want answers Indiana!
91
00:07:26,328 --> 00:07:27,318
Tough crowd.
92
00:07:33,852 --> 00:07:36,846
Aight, lemmee see, cows, Indians...
93
00:07:36,935 --> 00:07:38,893
Not so many cowboys.
94
00:07:46,501 --> 00:07:50,896
"No wannabe superstars.
Approach at you own peril ."
95
00:07:52,545 --> 00:07:54,139
Jeeves. You go first and be my peril.
96
00:08:01,591 --> 00:08:03,265
Good afternoon, sir.
97
00:08:03,352 --> 00:08:06,153
Welcome to Bollywood Studios.
Please enter.
98
00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:16,475
Good afternoon, sir.
99
00:08:16,561 --> 00:08:19,281
Welcome to Bollywood Studios.
Now please get out...
100
00:08:19,643 --> 00:08:21,362
Sorry, no time to lose, pops.
101
00:08:21,444 --> 00:08:24,086
I've got a date with Destiny.
102
00:08:24,166 --> 00:08:27,240
And if I play my cards right,
maybe her younger, cuter sister.
103
00:08:28,568 --> 00:08:30,163
You don't understand, you're old.
104
00:08:30,250 --> 00:08:34,041
Sir, you cannot come charging
in here like a bull at a gate.
105
00:08:34,132 --> 00:08:36,250
Oh yeah? Who's gonna stop me?
106
00:08:38,455 --> 00:08:39,969
The bull at the gate.
107
00:08:40,937 --> 00:08:41,733
Yowsa!
108
00:08:48,822 --> 00:08:52,055
Jiggy again?
This cat's beginning to dog me.
109
00:08:52,744 --> 00:08:55,420
Now shooting: Bindiana Jaihones
110
00:08:55,506 --> 00:08:59,503
and the Lost Crystal Head-Bone
of the Doomed Golden Monkey Temple.
111
00:09:00,830 --> 00:09:03,141
Indiana's biggest star my foot...
112
00:09:03,231 --> 00:09:04,506
Lookit that guy's hair!
113
00:09:04,592 --> 00:09:05,708
You call that a coiff?
114
00:09:19,602 --> 00:09:22,596
Hello, suddenly lame yet
inconsequential peasant,
115
00:09:22,684 --> 00:09:23,481
it is I,
116
00:09:23,805 --> 00:09:25,922
Jiggy, Bollywood's biggest star.
117
00:09:26,006 --> 00:09:28,648
Please accept these coins
as compensation
118
00:09:28,728 --> 00:09:31,165
for the possible
permanent loss of your tootsies.
119
00:09:32,010 --> 00:09:32,603
Ouchy.
120
00:09:35,212 --> 00:09:35,884
Again.
121
00:09:39,455 --> 00:09:40,969
Get a real job!
122
00:09:47,701 --> 00:09:49,659
Good morning, Mr Jiggy.
123
00:09:49,742 --> 00:09:53,533
You are looking particularly star-like
and handsome today.
124
00:09:53,865 --> 00:09:55,857
Jiggy! Jiggy! It's me, Pinky.
125
00:09:56,146 --> 00:09:57,342
And me, Shinky!
126
00:09:57,427 --> 00:10:00,069
Remember us?
We're your number one fans.
127
00:10:00,349 --> 00:10:01,225
Remember?
128
00:10:01,830 --> 00:10:03,151
How could I forget?
129
00:10:03,231 --> 00:10:04,950
When I come to work, you're here.
130
00:10:05,032 --> 00:10:06,546
When I leave, you're there.
131
00:10:06,633 --> 00:10:07,908
When I'm on the red carpet,
132
00:10:07,994 --> 00:10:08,904
who should I see...?
133
00:10:08,995 --> 00:10:09,666
Us?
134
00:10:09,955 --> 00:10:12,676
Now, for the umpteenth time.
135
00:10:12,757 --> 00:10:15,672
I'm a self indulgent mega millionare
136
00:10:15,759 --> 00:10:17,034
who just wants to be loved
137
00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:18,600
and adored from afar.
138
00:10:19,962 --> 00:10:21,954
Very afar!
139
00:10:25,806 --> 00:10:27,160
He remembers us!
140
00:10:28,287 --> 00:10:29,926
Get areal job, huh?
141
00:10:30,489 --> 00:10:32,288
Well... Looks like I gotta do what any
142
00:10:32,370 --> 00:10:34,932
good looking actor
with no connections needs to do
143
00:10:35,292 --> 00:10:36,931
get a job as a waiter and get discovered
144
00:10:37,013 --> 00:10:39,575
by someone with an eye
for super-hotness.
145
00:10:39,655 --> 00:10:40,930
You look confused.
146
00:10:41,496 --> 00:10:44,616
No, you're mistaking confused for goofy.
147
00:10:47,020 --> 00:10:47,737
Look, little ladies,
148
00:10:47,860 --> 00:10:49,738
I'm just trying to figure out a way
to get a job
149
00:10:49,821 --> 00:10:52,542
as a waiter so I can be discovered
as a Bollywood hunk.
150
00:10:53,304 --> 00:10:54,864
You mean a tiffin-wallah...
151
00:10:54,945 --> 00:10:56,505
Watch your tongue, missy!
152
00:10:56,586 --> 00:10:58,146
Do you talk to your mama
with that mouth?
153
00:11:00,148 --> 00:11:02,869
No. She said tiffin-wallah.
154
00:11:02,950 --> 00:11:04,350
A tiffa-wuh...? who's in a watna?
155
00:11:04,431 --> 00:11:06,184
Tiffin-wallah!
156
00:11:06,552 --> 00:11:10,185
Tiiiif... iiiiin...
157
00:11:10,715 --> 00:11:12,275
Tiffin-wallah!!
158
00:11:14,878 --> 00:11:17,633
Hey, man, less holler, or no wallah.
159
00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:19,200
Let's see now...
160
00:11:20,041 --> 00:11:24,038
Give me a rogan josh on roti,
hold the raita.
161
00:11:24,484 --> 00:11:25,964
And make it snappy. Time is money.
162
00:11:26,045 --> 00:11:27,081
We're losing light here.
163
00:11:27,606 --> 00:11:28,677
Hot dog!
164
00:11:28,767 --> 00:11:31,841
That's gotta be a gen-u-ine
Bollywood Director and Producer.
165
00:11:32,329 --> 00:11:35,723
All I've got to do is get them
to see my fabulous face and pow!
166
00:11:35,812 --> 00:11:36,802
Instant stardom.
167
00:11:38,013 --> 00:11:39,971
Sit a spell, fellow tiddly-widdly.
168
00:11:40,054 --> 00:11:41,045
I've got this one.
169
00:11:41,135 --> 00:11:41,853
Hit me.
170
00:11:48,740 --> 00:11:49,333
Look out.
171
00:11:49,421 --> 00:11:50,650
Hot stuff coming through.
172
00:11:50,741 --> 00:11:51,891
Namely, me!
173
00:11:53,783 --> 00:11:54,854
Beautiful!
174
00:11:55,184 --> 00:11:56,255
Why thank you.
175
00:11:57,786 --> 00:11:58,697
Spicy!
176
00:11:58,787 --> 00:11:59,936
I am hot, aren't I?
177
00:12:00,028 --> 00:12:01,063
A little chewy!
178
00:12:01,148 --> 00:12:02,059
Chewy?
179
00:12:03,550 --> 00:12:05,588
On, look there's Jiggy!
180
00:12:07,112 --> 00:12:09,424
That show pony's gonna steal my show.
181
00:12:09,514 --> 00:12:11,074
Time to use my head.
182
00:12:11,635 --> 00:12:14,595
Hey! Stop eating
and feast your eyes on this.
183
00:12:16,879 --> 00:12:17,550
My eyes!
184
00:12:17,639 --> 00:12:18,550
I'm blind.
185
00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:20,234
Bliiiiind!
186
00:12:20,441 --> 00:12:21,033
Hold on now.
187
00:12:21,121 --> 00:12:22,921
What you need is some o'
that Lassie milk.
188
00:12:25,724 --> 00:12:27,603
Come on Mama Dog, give it up.
189
00:12:27,686 --> 00:12:28,801
Give it up for Johnny.
190
00:12:29,927 --> 00:12:31,282
No not the face!
191
00:12:33,049 --> 00:12:34,643
Disgraceful!
192
00:12:34,770 --> 00:12:36,170
Tend to Jiggy's table.
193
00:12:36,251 --> 00:12:37,481
I will clean up your mess.
194
00:12:39,373 --> 00:12:40,284
Lemmee guess.
195
00:12:40,574 --> 00:12:41,167
By the look of you,
196
00:12:41,255 --> 00:12:43,611
you want something tired and boring,
hold the talent.
197
00:12:43,696 --> 00:12:45,574
Actually, I'd like to see the specials.
198
00:12:45,658 --> 00:12:48,048
Because I can't see anything special
in front of me.
199
00:12:48,139 --> 00:12:50,017
No, forget that,
I'll have the soup of the day.
200
00:12:50,100 --> 00:12:53,094
Nice and hot, and that's I thanks.
201
00:12:53,543 --> 00:12:55,421
You asked for it, you got it.
202
00:13:00,507 --> 00:13:02,659
This'll fix his little red wagon...
203
00:13:05,310 --> 00:13:07,349
I tell you, Ahmet,
204
00:13:07,432 --> 00:13:11,906
I keep getting this strange feeling
someone wants to do me harm.
205
00:13:12,955 --> 00:13:17,031
Nonsense. Who would ever wish harm
on such a handsome being?
206
00:13:18,279 --> 00:13:20,112
Soup's up. Eat it while its..
207
00:13:22,041 --> 00:13:23,316
Little heavy on the spices.
208
00:13:23,402 --> 00:13:24,632
She's gonna blow...
209
00:13:32,809 --> 00:13:34,562
I guess a tip is out
of the question? Huh?
210
00:13:47,578 --> 00:13:49,537
Ahmet you thought I was kiddin,
211
00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:50,849
you thought I was wrong.
212
00:13:50,940 --> 00:13:53,411
I don't to die early.
213
00:13:53,502 --> 00:13:56,383
What I need is a song.
214
00:15:11,874 --> 00:15:15,153
Sometimes I think Jiggy
doesn't treat us with respect.
215
00:15:15,636 --> 00:15:18,471
Sometimes I think Jiggy
doesn't even like us.
216
00:15:18,878 --> 00:15:22,237
Sometimes I wonder if my smile
is prettier than my hair.
217
00:15:23,842 --> 00:15:26,962
Do you ever think about anything
besides you?
218
00:15:27,044 --> 00:15:29,241
Nope. My smile and my hair
are equally pretty.
219
00:15:32,647 --> 00:15:34,925
You really want to be a Bollywood hunk
220
00:15:35,009 --> 00:15:36,887
and knock Jiggy off his pedestal?
221
00:15:36,970 --> 00:15:39,009
You bet your bindis I do.
222
00:15:39,532 --> 00:15:40,408
Here's the deal.
223
00:15:40,493 --> 00:15:43,533
We give you the secret
to Jiggy's star power...
224
00:15:43,615 --> 00:15:48,294
...and help you achieve
Bollywood megastardom.
225
00:15:48,858 --> 00:15:52,934
In return, you will make me your agent
and Shinky your manager.
226
00:15:53,941 --> 00:15:56,332
They do say that two heads
are better than one.
227
00:15:56,983 --> 00:15:59,818
In this case, that makes one, two,
228
00:16:01,506 --> 00:16:02,941
more than two.
229
00:16:03,027 --> 00:16:04,302
So what do you say?
230
00:16:04,388 --> 00:16:05,220
Little ladies,
231
00:16:05,829 --> 00:16:07,059
you got yourselves a deal.
232
00:16:07,871 --> 00:16:09,100
So what's the big secret?
233
00:16:09,512 --> 00:16:10,104
That!
234
00:16:12,874 --> 00:16:15,709
I know what you're thinking.
235
00:16:16,396 --> 00:16:20,791
"How can I be like Jiggy
and live a life of fame,
236
00:16:20,879 --> 00:16:24,078
fortune and have the women
of my dreams?"
237
00:16:25,082 --> 00:16:26,801
It's like he's reading my mind.
238
00:16:26,883 --> 00:16:27,554
Well, you can't.
239
00:16:27,884 --> 00:16:29,876
There is only one Jiggy.
240
00:16:30,245 --> 00:16:32,966
But you can almost feel like you can.
241
00:16:33,047 --> 00:16:36,121
With this:
Jiggy's Jiggalicious Hair Gel 2.0.
242
00:16:36,770 --> 00:16:38,124
If there's women to be had,
243
00:16:38,210 --> 00:16:39,964
then I has to had them!
244
00:16:40,052 --> 00:16:42,613
No, Johnny! That hair gel is a ruse.
245
00:16:42,693 --> 00:16:43,525
A rip-off.
246
00:16:44,014 --> 00:16:46,656
So when you say rip-off,
is that a good thing?
247
00:16:46,736 --> 00:16:48,091
Cause it sounds like a good thing.
248
00:16:48,857 --> 00:16:49,814
Forget that hair-gel.
249
00:16:49,898 --> 00:16:51,458
It has lost all its power.
250
00:16:52,500 --> 00:16:55,415
Jiggy recycles his own used hair-gel
251
00:16:55,502 --> 00:16:58,178
that he uses so much
of the original gunk he buys
252
00:16:58,264 --> 00:17:00,302
to gain power over his fan.
253
00:17:00,745 --> 00:17:03,865
You mean, he resells his used hair-gel?
254
00:17:04,868 --> 00:17:06,826
So if you want to be adored like Jiggy,
255
00:17:06,909 --> 00:17:08,469
you've got to get the fresh stuff.
256
00:17:08,951 --> 00:17:10,829
From the secret source.
257
00:17:11,432 --> 00:17:15,190
Waitasec, if it's so secret
how come you two know about it?
258
00:17:15,635 --> 00:17:18,516
Because we weren't just
Jiggy's number one fans...
259
00:17:18,917 --> 00:17:21,638
We're also his number one stalkers...
260
00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:24,117
followers!
261
00:17:27,483 --> 00:17:29,441
Give me the stuff, man.
262
00:17:29,844 --> 00:17:33,044
I need it. I'll pay anything...
263
00:17:33,127 --> 00:17:35,517
Very well, But first,
264
00:17:35,608 --> 00:17:37,886
do that dance I like...
265
00:17:38,290 --> 00:17:39,122
Dance!
266
00:17:43,413 --> 00:17:45,452
What have I become?
267
00:17:48,737 --> 00:17:49,454
What! Who's there?
268
00:17:49,537 --> 00:17:50,972
He's see's us... run...
269
00:17:51,659 --> 00:17:53,731
Creepy. And that's just you two.
270
00:17:53,820 --> 00:17:55,539
I think we need to take you to...
271
00:17:55,942 --> 00:17:58,298
...the Voodoo Guru!
272
00:18:03,387 --> 00:18:04,900
Man, you need to man up.
273
00:18:04,988 --> 00:18:07,982
Or... monkey up. Or just up it, man.
274
00:18:40,011 --> 00:18:40,728
What the...?
275
00:18:41,652 --> 00:18:43,371
Ok, who's gonna knock?
276
00:18:43,453 --> 00:18:45,923
Why? You scaaaaaaaared, Johnny?
277
00:18:46,015 --> 00:18:49,009
Only of how talented I am.
Now step aside...
278
00:18:53,339 --> 00:18:55,651
Enter... Johnny Bravo.
279
00:18:56,581 --> 00:18:57,652
He knows your name.
280
00:18:57,742 --> 00:18:59,541
That's right. Represent...
281
00:19:11,351 --> 00:19:12,672
Like what you've done to the place.
282
00:19:12,752 --> 00:19:14,790
Must be a real magnet
for the ladies...
283
00:19:15,234 --> 00:19:17,465
the Craaaaazy ladies.
284
00:19:18,716 --> 00:19:21,107
I see all, Johnny Bravo.
285
00:19:21,198 --> 00:19:23,429
I see that you are...
286
00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:26,400
Impatient and rude.
287
00:19:26,841 --> 00:19:28,435
Can we just cut to the chase?
288
00:19:28,683 --> 00:19:30,277
Do you have a secret magical hair gel
289
00:19:30,364 --> 00:19:32,959
that will give me
extra-hotness powers or not?
290
00:19:33,045 --> 00:19:37,998
I do. But first I must show you
the process by which it is made...
291
00:19:38,409 --> 00:19:40,401
Ok, Guru Boy, just make it quick.
292
00:19:40,490 --> 00:19:43,484
The women of Bollywood
have waited long enough.
293
00:19:44,413 --> 00:19:46,850
I start with the sweat extracted
294
00:19:46,935 --> 00:19:50,248
from the users
of infomercial weight-loss machines.
295
00:19:50,697 --> 00:19:54,215
Then I add the tears of a teenage girl
296
00:19:54,299 --> 00:19:57,419
who's woken up with a zit
on the night of her prom.
297
00:19:58,182 --> 00:19:59,139
And, finally,
298
00:19:59,223 --> 00:20:04,744
I infuse it with the stolen sighs
of lovelorn celebrity worshippers
299
00:20:04,826 --> 00:20:10,667
of teen-dreamboat Bobby Goodlookinson
in "Sparkle Vampire in Love."
300
00:20:10,750 --> 00:20:14,303
Darling, let's not get all hot and kissy.
301
00:20:14,393 --> 00:20:17,547
Let's stay up all night
talking about feelings.
302
00:20:18,275 --> 00:20:21,953
I love loving you, my lovely love...
303
00:20:22,038 --> 00:20:24,553
Somebody needs get
that guy some spray tan.
304
00:20:27,922 --> 00:20:33,841
And, behold - the very distillation
of heartbreak and desperation
305
00:20:33,926 --> 00:20:37,523
mixed with pure self-loathing and vanity.
306
00:20:38,008 --> 00:20:39,044
Now with jojoba...
307
00:20:39,729 --> 00:20:40,526
I'll take it.
308
00:20:41,290 --> 00:20:44,125
Very well. But I must warn you...
309
00:20:44,212 --> 00:20:45,283
Can I just get the stuff?
310
00:20:45,373 --> 00:20:47,251
I don't wanna pretend like
I'm listening anymore.
311
00:20:47,334 --> 00:20:50,408
So be it. And on your own head...
312
00:20:51,017 --> 00:20:52,531
Hair gel only on the head - got it.
313
00:20:52,618 --> 00:20:53,653
How much do I owe you?
314
00:20:53,739 --> 00:20:56,813
Oh, sir, the first one is for free.
315
00:20:56,901 --> 00:21:00,942
But the rest will cost you...
your very soul.
316
00:21:04,185 --> 00:21:05,699
Really? It's free?
317
00:21:05,786 --> 00:21:07,141
Except for the part about your soul.
318
00:21:07,227 --> 00:21:08,707
So, then it's like a trade.
319
00:21:08,788 --> 00:21:10,109
Where I don't have
to pay you any money?
320
00:21:10,189 --> 00:21:12,751
Basically. If you don't
put any monetary value on your soul,
321
00:21:12,831 --> 00:21:14,345
then sure. You can call it a trade.
322
00:21:15,113 --> 00:21:16,707
I'm a sucker for a bargain.
323
00:21:31,243 --> 00:21:33,441
Man, that's some magic hair.
324
00:21:33,925 --> 00:21:37,045
This is too much cool to waste
on some old wizard dude...
325
00:21:45,252 --> 00:21:45,970
What do you think?
326
00:21:46,053 --> 00:21:49,491
Super-fly or super-cool? You decide!
327
00:21:51,577 --> 00:21:52,897
It's okay, I guess.
328
00:21:52,977 --> 00:21:55,129
Love what you've done with your hair.
329
00:21:55,659 --> 00:21:58,221
Listen, I could stand around all day
and look fantastic
330
00:21:58,301 --> 00:22:00,578
but I've got
to move around and look fantastic.
331
00:22:01,543 --> 00:22:04,583
But I will give you the honor
of watching me walk away.
332
00:22:49,255 --> 00:22:52,887
All this love for Johnny
and not one hot chick in the crowd?
333
00:22:53,137 --> 00:22:54,253
I want my money back.
334
00:22:54,338 --> 00:22:55,534
But you got it for free.
335
00:22:55,619 --> 00:22:57,099
Then I want my nuthin' back!
336
00:22:57,180 --> 00:22:59,741
Sorry, no refunds or exchanges.
337
00:22:59,821 --> 00:23:01,381
Then what am I supposed to do?
338
00:23:01,463 --> 00:23:02,862
Oh, I don't know,
339
00:23:02,944 --> 00:23:06,860
you could always... double the dose.
340
00:23:10,028 --> 00:23:12,101
Thanks, giant head.
You make a lotta sense.
341
00:23:12,190 --> 00:23:13,704
Even if you are freaky.
342
00:23:22,356 --> 00:23:24,109
Man, my hair's so amazing
343
00:23:24,197 --> 00:23:26,918
I wanna die and come back
as my own cootie.
344
00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:32,193
Picture it: Jiggy is an Indian robot
from the future
345
00:23:32,283 --> 00:23:35,801
who travels back in time
and falls in love with a motorcycle.
346
00:23:35,885 --> 00:23:38,527
He is... the Turbanator...
347
00:23:39,488 --> 00:23:40,478
I am liking it.
348
00:23:40,568 --> 00:23:41,889
I am liking..
349
00:23:43,050 --> 00:23:44,962
What on the planet is going on?
350
00:23:45,732 --> 00:23:54,692
John-ny... John-ny... John-ny...
351
00:23:55,258 --> 00:23:58,776
His hair... it's radiating awesomeness.
352
00:23:59,261 --> 00:24:01,492
It's even more cool than Jiggy's.
353
00:24:02,142 --> 00:24:05,661
It's true... it's... beautiful.
354
00:24:11,469 --> 00:24:15,351
Excuse me, exquisite creature blessed
with dazzling follicles.
355
00:24:15,711 --> 00:24:18,353
Sorry, man, I don't speak creepazoid.
356
00:24:18,673 --> 00:24:21,633
What my associate
is trying to say is that...
357
00:24:21,715 --> 00:24:24,391
we have an offer you can't refuse.
358
00:24:24,477 --> 00:24:27,358
Come with us and you can be worshipped
359
00:24:27,439 --> 00:24:29,397
by hundreds of millions of hotties.
360
00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:31,519
Live in a palace of a thousand rooms.
361
00:24:31,602 --> 00:24:33,560
Dine on the most luxurious...
362
00:24:33,883 --> 00:24:37,082
You had me at "worshipped by hundreds
of millions of hotties."
363
00:24:41,208 --> 00:24:42,882
He stepped on my head.
364
00:24:49,934 --> 00:24:52,211
I'm sure he'll come back. No biggy.
365
00:24:52,295 --> 00:24:54,254
Yeah, he's probably just telling them
366
00:24:54,337 --> 00:24:56,409
where they can take a flying leap.
367
00:25:05,144 --> 00:25:06,863
This is it, Johnny...
368
00:25:07,145 --> 00:25:09,343
Welcome to Bollywood...
369
00:25:10,627 --> 00:25:13,269
Security must be pretty
lax round these parts.
370
00:25:13,349 --> 00:25:16,707
Seeing as how I was able
to smuggle two guns in here...
371
00:25:26,718 --> 00:25:30,715
Ahmet, who is this prancing pony huh?
372
00:25:31,121 --> 00:25:32,317
Relax, Jiggy.
373
00:25:32,402 --> 00:25:34,599
He's just some nobody
we pulled off the street...
374
00:25:34,683 --> 00:25:36,038
to be your co-star.
375
00:25:36,124 --> 00:25:37,524
What? No!
376
00:25:37,765 --> 00:25:41,159
I only work with actors
who are far uglier than me.
377
00:25:41,248 --> 00:25:42,443
It's in the contract.
378
00:25:42,528 --> 00:25:45,090
Jiggy, he is but mere eye-candy.
379
00:25:45,170 --> 00:25:47,368
And what does eye candy do?
380
00:25:47,452 --> 00:25:49,569
It... stickies up the eyeballs
381
00:25:49,653 --> 00:25:52,568
and attracts ants to
bite the sticky eyeballs
382
00:25:52,655 --> 00:25:54,933
and then the people
who looked at the eye-candy cry
383
00:25:55,017 --> 00:25:57,737
and can no longer see the eye-candy?
384
00:25:57,819 --> 00:25:58,456
Precisely.
385
00:25:58,539 --> 00:26:02,695
Ahmet, you are surely
the smarty in the pants.
386
00:26:02,782 --> 00:26:04,694
Jiggy tums back.
387
00:26:05,143 --> 00:26:07,534
Alright, let's go for a rehearsal back up.
388
00:26:07,625 --> 00:26:09,776
You do not call for rehearsal!
389
00:26:09,866 --> 00:26:12,860
Only I call for rehearsal!
390
00:26:12,948 --> 00:26:14,907
Alright, let's go for a rehearsal!
391
00:26:14,990 --> 00:26:17,028
Hello, handsome.
392
00:26:17,511 --> 00:26:19,025
Please, my friends call me "Johnny."
393
00:26:19,113 --> 00:26:20,752
But you can call me "Handsome."
394
00:26:23,475 --> 00:26:25,548
Nope. But I can read subtitles.
395
00:26:25,637 --> 00:26:27,231
So try not to speak too fast.
396
00:26:27,318 --> 00:26:29,880
You're very intriguing, Mr. Bravo.
397
00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:32,271
Heeey. So you speak Johnny, too?
398
00:26:32,361 --> 00:26:34,798
Oh... I love a lady with talented lips.
399
00:26:34,883 --> 00:26:37,638
So how much do you really know
about Bollywood, Johnny?
400
00:26:37,725 --> 00:26:40,924
Why? Are you looking
to give me a private lesson?
401
00:26:41,287 --> 00:26:42,278
A lesson?
402
00:26:42,368 --> 00:26:45,965
But, why do it in private
when we can do it in public?
403
00:26:46,290 --> 00:26:47,725
Bollywood style.
404
00:28:11,466 --> 00:28:13,425
Can you sing that part about
the free food again?
405
00:28:13,508 --> 00:28:14,384
I'm starving.
406
00:28:14,468 --> 00:28:16,507
Well, that makes three of us.
407
00:28:16,950 --> 00:28:18,783
Make that four of us.
408
00:28:21,033 --> 00:28:22,068
Take five.
409
00:28:22,954 --> 00:28:25,789
No no no no no...
You do not call the breaks!
410
00:28:25,876 --> 00:28:28,312
Only I call for the breaks!
411
00:28:29,438 --> 00:28:32,751
You handsome devil of a man, you...
412
00:28:33,281 --> 00:28:35,114
Take five!
413
00:28:38,644 --> 00:28:40,318
We need to talk, mister.
414
00:28:40,405 --> 00:28:41,521
Talk to my agent.
415
00:28:41,966 --> 00:28:43,241
I am your agent.
416
00:28:43,327 --> 00:28:44,682
Then talk to my manager.
417
00:28:45,329 --> 00:28:46,764
I'm your manager.
418
00:28:47,890 --> 00:28:49,245
Remind me why I need you again?
419
00:28:49,331 --> 00:28:50,731
Because you need protection.
420
00:28:50,932 --> 00:28:51,684
And friends.
421
00:28:52,013 --> 00:28:54,325
People who can keep
your feet on the ground.
422
00:28:54,415 --> 00:28:56,327
Because you're about to go big time.
423
00:28:56,416 --> 00:28:59,649
You're about to surround yourself
with sharks and weasels.
424
00:29:01,219 --> 00:29:02,619
You don't know me.
425
00:29:05,022 --> 00:29:06,377
Take it as compliment...
426
00:29:06,943 --> 00:29:08,298
But most of all...
427
00:29:08,384 --> 00:29:10,262
Because we had a deal, Johnny.
428
00:29:10,345 --> 00:29:12,861
We give you the secret
to Jiggy's starpower,
429
00:29:12,947 --> 00:29:15,702
you give us fifty percent of your earnings.
430
00:29:16,029 --> 00:29:19,422
Well, you did introduce me to the stuff.
431
00:29:19,791 --> 00:29:20,987
But gimme a better offer.
432
00:29:21,072 --> 00:29:22,108
How about forty?
433
00:29:22,193 --> 00:29:22,625
Ten.
434
00:29:22,713 --> 00:29:23,306
Forty.
435
00:29:23,394 --> 00:29:23,792
Ten.
436
00:29:23,874 --> 00:29:24,227
Ten.
437
00:29:24,314 --> 00:29:24,588
Forty.
438
00:29:24,675 --> 00:29:25,187
Ten.
439
00:29:25,275 --> 00:29:25,707
Forty.
440
00:29:25,795 --> 00:29:26,672
Forty it is.
441
00:29:26,756 --> 00:29:27,507
Deal!
442
00:29:27,877 --> 00:29:29,915
Now get out there and break a leg.
443
00:29:30,238 --> 00:29:30,797
Gotcha!
444
00:29:34,961 --> 00:29:37,921
No, Johnny, that's just an expression...
445
00:29:38,203 --> 00:29:41,642
Sorry, man, I thought it was some kinda
weird Indiana custom.
446
00:29:44,528 --> 00:29:46,042
That's showbusiness.
447
00:29:48,931 --> 00:29:52,005
"Fatally Lethal Death Kill."
Scene three thousand. Take one.
448
00:29:52,093 --> 00:29:54,085
And... action...
449
00:29:54,694 --> 00:29:58,611
This is your last chance,
Detective Deathkill.
450
00:29:58,697 --> 00:30:03,058
The DA is irritating my buttocks
and I need results.
451
00:30:03,140 --> 00:30:07,819
So you are now to be getting
a new partner. Pronto.
452
00:30:08,744 --> 00:30:09,859
A partner?
453
00:30:10,265 --> 00:30:11,904
No way, Sanjay.
454
00:30:12,026 --> 00:30:15,817
This maverick cop
with attitude works alone.
455
00:30:17,749 --> 00:30:20,584
You look like you just saw a hot,
hunky ghost.
456
00:30:22,633 --> 00:30:25,148
Deathkill, meet your new partner.
457
00:30:25,234 --> 00:30:27,193
Studley Coolrookie.
458
00:30:29,397 --> 00:30:32,551
Studley by name, studly by nature.
459
00:30:33,160 --> 00:30:35,471
Dude-brother, you wouldn't know "studley�
460
00:30:35,561 --> 00:30:39,033
if it came right up to your face
and didn't kiss you...
461
00:30:41,045 --> 00:30:45,041
You, uh, said "didn't kiss", right?
462
00:30:45,528 --> 00:30:49,489
I can't work with this amateur.
Pack up ya'll...
463
00:30:49,570 --> 00:30:50,208
Cut!
464
00:30:50,291 --> 00:30:51,362
JIGGY! WAIT..
465
00:30:52,893 --> 00:30:54,885
Jiggy, what's the problem?
466
00:30:55,494 --> 00:30:59,730
Him! I demand that he be removed
from the set.
467
00:31:00,658 --> 00:31:01,979
What's the matter, Jiggly?
468
00:31:02,059 --> 00:31:03,288
Not enough kissing for you?
469
00:31:03,379 --> 00:31:05,213
Or was that non-kissing?
470
00:31:05,541 --> 00:31:07,101
Removed!
471
00:31:08,463 --> 00:31:10,421
Look, Jiggy, the kids stays in the picture.
472
00:31:10,504 --> 00:31:12,861
Johnny, baby, are you ok?
473
00:31:13,026 --> 00:31:16,623
Did the big bad megastar upset you?
474
00:31:17,829 --> 00:31:19,628
I can see what's happening here.
475
00:31:19,710 --> 00:31:22,864
That numbskull idiot
is somehow charming everyone.
476
00:31:22,952 --> 00:31:25,912
Well, it's time for everyone to get Jiggy.
477
00:31:27,635 --> 00:31:28,387
You must be swift.
478
00:31:28,476 --> 00:31:30,115
Two of our agents have already failed.
479
00:31:30,197 --> 00:31:31,347
Fear not, brother.
480
00:31:31,438 --> 00:31:34,080
I shall strike Jiggy in a pressure point
481
00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:37,951
right here in the side of the neck
with my scorpion strike.
482
00:31:38,362 --> 00:31:39,558
Like this...
483
00:31:39,883 --> 00:31:42,240
Really? I would've gone for something
a little deadlier.
484
00:31:42,325 --> 00:31:43,919
A gun or something. Maybe a bomb.
485
00:31:44,006 --> 00:31:46,158
Well, you are not my mother.
486
00:31:46,248 --> 00:31:47,044
I'm just saying...
487
00:31:47,529 --> 00:31:49,203
Anyway, enough about me.
488
00:31:49,290 --> 00:31:51,328
Let's talk about myself and I...
489
00:32:04,300 --> 00:32:07,852
Nobody disses Johnny Bravo's hair
and gets away with it!
490
00:32:08,462 --> 00:32:10,101
Nobody.
491
00:32:24,393 --> 00:32:25,873
Gasp! Everyone stand back.
492
00:32:25,954 --> 00:32:27,866
It's a hair-off!
493
00:32:50,570 --> 00:32:52,209
Bling bling!
494
00:32:59,776 --> 00:33:00,573
Cha-ching!
495
00:33:10,703 --> 00:33:13,777
Indiaaaaaaa! Take it.
496
00:33:25,273 --> 00:33:28,472
USA! USA! USA!
497
00:33:28,555 --> 00:33:30,912
USA! USA! USA!
498
00:33:30,997 --> 00:33:32,671
Strike now, while Jiggy is distracted.
499
00:33:32,758 --> 00:33:35,399
I will. But only because I want to,
500
00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:37,040
not because you told me to.
501
00:33:48,528 --> 00:33:51,522
Sorry man. Sometimes beauty's a beast.
502
00:33:56,653 --> 00:33:58,293
Don't take it too bad.
503
00:33:58,375 --> 00:33:59,570
The better man won.
504
00:34:00,136 --> 00:34:01,285
Not to mention the cuter,
505
00:34:01,377 --> 00:34:02,731
the cooler, the most...
506
00:34:02,817 --> 00:34:04,810
I want a rematch!
507
00:34:05,259 --> 00:34:07,411
No! Our client won the hair-off...
508
00:34:07,781 --> 00:34:09,455
...fair-hair and square.
509
00:34:10,783 --> 00:34:12,343
This is Robber Ducky to Thug Bear.
510
00:34:12,424 --> 00:34:13,095
Come in, Thug Bear.
511
00:34:13,184 --> 00:34:14,459
The poodle has pooped
on the rug...
512
00:34:14,545 --> 00:34:15,536
Repeat... The poodle has pooped...
513
00:34:15,626 --> 00:34:16,377
Enough!
514
00:34:16,747 --> 00:34:17,782
So once again,
515
00:34:17,867 --> 00:34:19,780
my minions have failed me.
516
00:34:19,869 --> 00:34:21,702
It is that clumsy American ox,
Great Leader.
517
00:34:21,790 --> 00:34:24,386
He is charging all the place
in an effort to upstage Jiggy.
518
00:34:24,472 --> 00:34:26,350
Then we must make sure Jiggy
519
00:34:26,433 --> 00:34:29,393
is removed from the stage
so his charging will stop.
520
00:34:29,475 --> 00:34:31,069
But then... What of Johnny Bravo?
521
00:34:31,156 --> 00:34:33,468
Leave Johnny Bravo to me.
522
00:34:39,762 --> 00:34:41,640
Sorry... hair ball.
523
00:34:42,123 --> 00:34:44,639
Look, it's either me or it's him.
524
00:34:45,526 --> 00:34:46,402
He is the one.
525
00:34:46,486 --> 00:34:47,841
But you said I was the one.
526
00:34:47,927 --> 00:34:50,318
A verbal contract is not worth the paper
it is written on.
527
00:34:50,649 --> 00:34:52,766
But I have it on paper.
528
00:34:55,172 --> 00:34:57,289
In triplicate no less.
529
00:35:07,740 --> 00:35:08,651
Come on!
530
00:35:08,741 --> 00:35:10,494
Jiggy is in that movie!
531
00:35:10,582 --> 00:35:13,622
We shot for six days already, six.
532
00:35:13,704 --> 00:35:15,139
It's almost finished.
533
00:35:17,587 --> 00:35:18,861
We're writing you out.
534
00:35:19,268 --> 00:35:20,464
Who's writing me out?
535
00:35:20,549 --> 00:35:21,266
Over there!
536
00:35:21,549 --> 00:35:24,430
The hottest writer in Bollywood
is hard at work.
537
00:35:26,152 --> 00:35:28,304
Interior. Monkey Temple. Day.
538
00:35:28,394 --> 00:35:29,794
Bindiana Jaihones reaches
539
00:35:29,875 --> 00:35:32,756
for the Lost Crystal Head-Bone
of the Doomed Golden Monkey temple
540
00:35:32,837 --> 00:35:36,469
when he's bitten in the face
by a guard monkey and pass's away.
541
00:35:36,759 --> 00:35:39,640
Suddenly, the ceiling
explodes - Bindiana's younger,
542
00:35:39,721 --> 00:35:41,760
hotter brother descends like a god!
543
00:35:42,083 --> 00:35:43,643
New Bindiana Jaihones:
544
00:35:43,964 --> 00:35:47,402
"You terminated my no-talent brother,
Demon Monkey!
545
00:35:54,491 --> 00:35:56,324
Now it is personal!"
546
00:35:57,893 --> 00:35:58,565
Perfect!
547
00:36:03,897 --> 00:36:06,368
Wait! I've got something
I've been working on.
548
00:36:06,459 --> 00:36:08,974
About a sensitive rat who dreams
of working in one
549
00:36:09,061 --> 00:36:10,814
of the great restaurants of Europe.
550
00:36:11,102 --> 00:36:14,176
Who wants to see a filthy rat put
its dirty paws on human food?
551
00:36:14,264 --> 00:36:15,221
It'll never sell!
552
00:36:18,827 --> 00:36:20,341
I don't want your pity!
553
00:36:20,428 --> 00:36:22,022
Writers have dignity.
554
00:36:22,309 --> 00:36:23,584
Ooh, free food...
555
00:36:26,392 --> 00:36:27,622
Here are the new pages, Johnny.
556
00:36:27,713 --> 00:36:28,703
Awesomeness...
557
00:36:30,795 --> 00:36:32,025
This is terrible.
558
00:36:32,116 --> 00:36:33,551
I think we need a new reader.
559
00:36:34,157 --> 00:36:35,034
Vile.
560
00:36:43,723 --> 00:36:46,285
Brilliant! I laughed out loud.
561
00:36:46,365 --> 00:36:47,640
It's not a comedy.
562
00:36:49,447 --> 00:36:50,199
Here we are!
563
00:36:53,930 --> 00:36:54,887
Smells like rabies.
564
00:36:54,971 --> 00:36:56,006
Why are we here?
565
00:36:56,332 --> 00:36:59,247
Our client should be
on a proper Bollywood sound stage
566
00:36:59,334 --> 00:37:02,408
where the only thing he'll catch
is super stardom.
567
00:37:02,816 --> 00:37:03,887
Client, huh?
568
00:37:03,977 --> 00:37:05,537
Yeah, I see ugly monkeys
569
00:37:05,618 --> 00:37:07,690
and ugly crew but no super hotties
570
00:37:07,819 --> 00:37:09,379
ready to worship at Johnny's feet.
571
00:37:09,740 --> 00:37:11,540
Unless the hotties are inside...
572
00:37:12,342 --> 00:37:15,700
Sure, yeah, they're inside.
573
00:37:26,952 --> 00:37:29,308
Wouldn't it have been easier
to just build a set?
574
00:37:29,393 --> 00:37:30,623
Sets cost money.
575
00:37:30,714 --> 00:37:33,310
It's much cheaper to destroy
a real monkey palace.
576
00:37:33,756 --> 00:37:34,906
Sorry, closed set.
577
00:37:34,997 --> 00:37:36,352
But Johnny's our client.
578
00:37:36,718 --> 00:37:39,678
Oh, I see, then you've got a contract
to prove that?
579
00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:42,994
Our deal with Johnny was sealed
with a handshake.
580
00:37:49,687 --> 00:37:52,077
How can two innocent sweet little girls
581
00:37:52,168 --> 00:37:55,481
with no business experience be so naive?
582
00:37:55,931 --> 00:37:56,807
Now get out of here!
583
00:37:56,891 --> 00:37:58,041
Not you. I like your face.
584
00:37:58,132 --> 00:37:59,009
Ever thought of acting?
585
00:37:59,093 --> 00:38:00,084
You don't have an agent, do you?
586
00:38:00,174 --> 00:38:01,528
Ever heard of the word "perpetuity."
587
00:38:01,615 --> 00:38:03,892
No? Good! Sounds made up, right?
588
00:38:14,023 --> 00:38:16,220
Now people we've got 28 pages
589
00:38:16,304 --> 00:38:18,695
of script to get through and 40 minutes
590
00:38:18,786 --> 00:38:21,301
to do it but just because
we've got plenty of time
591
00:38:21,388 --> 00:38:24,985
I don't want anyone
slacking off right okay...
592
00:38:25,510 --> 00:38:26,546
Action!
593
00:38:27,071 --> 00:38:28,790
But no-one's told Johnny what to do.
594
00:38:29,033 --> 00:38:30,068
What's this scene about?
595
00:38:30,393 --> 00:38:31,464
What's the name of this movie?
596
00:38:32,475 --> 00:38:34,274
You would be fired now
597
00:38:34,356 --> 00:38:38,557
for asking so many irrelevant questions
if you were not so god-like.
598
00:38:39,039 --> 00:38:40,678
And now we are behind schedule.
599
00:38:41,121 --> 00:38:43,432
Motivation. Logic. Originality.
600
00:38:43,522 --> 00:38:45,036
Alright... on schedule again.
601
00:38:45,123 --> 00:38:47,355
Bindiana Jaihones
and the Lost Crystal Head Bone
602
00:38:47,445 --> 00:38:49,517
of the Doomed Golden Monkey Temple,
take one.
603
00:38:49,846 --> 00:38:50,723
Action!
604
00:39:02,895 --> 00:39:03,851
We must hurry!
605
00:39:03,936 --> 00:39:06,008
If we do not retrieve
the Lost Crystal Head Bone
606
00:39:06,097 --> 00:39:07,497
of the Doomed Golden Monkey Temple
607
00:39:07,578 --> 00:39:09,490
the world will explode!
608
00:39:09,579 --> 00:39:12,972
Yes, great hero Bindiana Jaihones.
609
00:39:14,102 --> 00:39:15,013
Monkey warriors!
610
00:39:15,463 --> 00:39:18,696
I hate those guys jealously
guarding their treasure!
611
00:39:36,797 --> 00:39:38,436
Why have you paused, Bindi?
612
00:39:38,518 --> 00:39:40,078
Because I am admiring the smoothness
613
00:39:40,159 --> 00:39:41,993
of my jaw and the closest shave ever
614
00:39:42,081 --> 00:39:44,551
that you can now get
from Jiggy's Shaving Gel.
615
00:39:45,883 --> 00:39:48,115
So smooth and manly!
616
00:39:52,087 --> 00:39:53,726
Cut! Alright,
617
00:39:53,808 --> 00:39:56,563
bring in the double, and action!
618
00:39:59,012 --> 00:40:00,970
Look out, Bindiana Jaihones!
619
00:40:29,352 --> 00:40:31,469
My talentless, uglier brother!
620
00:40:31,793 --> 00:40:35,312
Take it out! N-o-o-o...
621
00:40:45,482 --> 00:40:46,962
Whatever you do, baby cakes,
622
00:40:47,283 --> 00:40:48,763
don't look at the awesomeness.
623
00:40:58,891 --> 00:41:00,929
Alright, sugar, you can open those peepers.
624
00:41:11,099 --> 00:41:11,851
Yeah, Chief?
625
00:41:11,940 --> 00:41:12,736
Bindiana!
626
00:41:12,820 --> 00:41:15,541
We have reliable intel
that Archduke Ferdinand
627
00:41:15,622 --> 00:41:17,934
of Austria is about to be assassinated!
628
00:41:18,344 --> 00:41:19,540
Sorry, Chief, I'm losing you.
629
00:41:19,625 --> 00:41:23,018
But Bindiana if the Archduke
is assassinated it could plunge
630
00:41:23,107 --> 00:41:25,019
the whole world into a war...
631
00:41:25,629 --> 00:41:27,985
So what do you wanna do now?
632
00:41:45,122 --> 00:41:46,237
What's up with the audience?
633
00:41:46,322 --> 00:41:49,555
You'd think I just mocked
their smarts and culture or something.
634
00:41:49,644 --> 00:41:51,444
What are you kidding about, kidder?
635
00:41:51,526 --> 00:41:52,243
They love it!
636
00:41:52,606 --> 00:41:53,597
They're trashing the place.
637
00:41:53,687 --> 00:41:54,758
It's a riot.
638
00:41:54,848 --> 00:41:56,044
And thank goodness!
639
00:41:56,129 --> 00:41:59,283
Nothing says box office more than
a box office burnt to the ground.
640
00:42:00,572 --> 00:42:02,052
The cards are in!
641
00:42:02,133 --> 00:42:03,043
What do they say?
642
00:42:04,174 --> 00:42:05,495
It's a hit!
643
00:42:05,575 --> 00:42:09,651
I just wish those two kooky kids
could be here to share in my moment.
644
00:42:10,538 --> 00:42:11,449
Where are they anyway?
645
00:42:11,539 --> 00:42:13,053
This movie is not suitable for children.
646
00:42:13,140 --> 00:42:15,212
But there are children
burning the fire-escape.
647
00:42:15,542 --> 00:42:19,014
Well... The thing is... Thug!
648
00:42:21,265 --> 00:42:21,778
What?
649
00:42:25,708 --> 00:42:26,426
You know what?
650
00:42:26,629 --> 00:42:29,305
All this fire is making me hungry
for some barbecue.
651
00:42:29,391 --> 00:42:32,511
Whaddya say we go get us some
of that free Bollywood food.
652
00:42:33,834 --> 00:42:35,906
So, Johnny, you have hit the big time.
653
00:42:35,995 --> 00:42:38,876
Now to go with your new status
as Bollywood royalty,
654
00:42:38,957 --> 00:42:41,519
you must have your absurdly lavish palace.
655
00:42:44,160 --> 00:42:45,117
Chick pad.
656
00:42:45,201 --> 00:42:48,719
Oh, yes, there is room
for many chicks and goats.
657
00:42:49,404 --> 00:42:50,804
And it's mine you say?
658
00:42:50,885 --> 00:42:52,479
No strings attached.
659
00:42:52,886 --> 00:42:55,687
All yours.
But there's just one little thing...
660
00:42:56,328 --> 00:42:59,881
It's kind of embarrassing
for a proud man but...
661
00:43:03,093 --> 00:43:04,528
Could I have your autograph?
662
00:43:05,254 --> 00:43:06,245
No problem!
663
00:43:09,097 --> 00:43:10,532
That's not an autograph book!
664
00:43:11,819 --> 00:43:12,854
That's a contract!
665
00:43:12,939 --> 00:43:14,533
It's a standard agreement.
666
00:43:14,620 --> 00:43:15,941
And it's written in blood!
667
00:43:16,502 --> 00:43:18,892
Yes! There's a funny story about that.
668
00:43:18,983 --> 00:43:20,702
I was shaving at my desk and...
669
00:43:20,784 --> 00:43:23,062
And what's this part about
taking everything I own?
670
00:43:23,146 --> 00:43:25,024
Typo. I'll delete it later.
671
00:43:25,107 --> 00:43:27,259
Sorry, man,
as much as my good business sense
672
00:43:27,349 --> 00:43:28,943
is telling me that you're an honest man,
673
00:43:29,030 --> 00:43:30,465
I've already made a deal.
674
00:43:31,311 --> 00:43:33,065
With those meddling little girls?
675
00:43:33,153 --> 00:43:34,588
Yeah. Stinky and Minky?
676
00:43:34,674 --> 00:43:35,948
I thought it was Funky and Monkey?
677
00:43:36,034 --> 00:43:38,425
Whatever they are,
they're like family to me.
678
00:43:38,516 --> 00:43:39,268
Family?
679
00:43:39,877 --> 00:43:42,519
Can family get you the best seats
in the best restaurants,
680
00:43:42,599 --> 00:43:44,318
the fast cars, the fast boats,
681
00:43:44,400 --> 00:43:47,121
the fast turtles
at the Annual Bollywood Turtle Races?
682
00:43:47,202 --> 00:43:48,602
Can family make your dreams
683
00:43:48,683 --> 00:43:50,561
come true? Fulfill you?
684
00:43:50,644 --> 00:43:53,877
No! Family will just destroy
you like jackals!
685
00:43:53,966 --> 00:43:55,526
But if you want to choose jackals
over your dreams,
686
00:43:55,607 --> 00:43:56,598
I understand.
687
00:43:59,690 --> 00:44:01,329
Anything else you want to me to sign?
688
00:44:01,691 --> 00:44:02,409
Just this...
689
00:44:03,372 --> 00:44:04,522
You got it, buddy.
690
00:44:09,977 --> 00:44:12,732
Welcome to the Dream Factory, Johnny Bravo!
691
00:44:12,819 --> 00:44:13,809
Now get some rest.
692
00:44:13,899 --> 00:44:16,211
We start shooting
your next hit in an hour.
693
00:44:16,301 --> 00:44:20,012
"Avasitar 2."
It's set underwater - predictably.
694
00:44:20,103 --> 00:44:22,255
Bring vinegar. For the sea-lice.
695
00:44:23,185 --> 00:44:25,622
Didn't count on my
dreams involving sea-lice.
696
00:44:28,509 --> 00:44:30,183
Oh, mama!
697
00:44:35,434 --> 00:44:36,310
Johnny...
698
00:44:40,397 --> 00:44:43,232
I'd say hi but legally I'm not allowed to.
699
00:44:43,479 --> 00:44:44,196
But, Johnny,
700
00:44:44,279 --> 00:44:46,716
we're more than
relentless business executive.
701
00:44:46,801 --> 00:44:48,076
We're your true friends.
702
00:44:48,602 --> 00:44:51,562
My true friends just
gave me a swingin' bachelor pad.
703
00:44:51,684 --> 00:44:52,641
And a car!
704
00:44:56,327 --> 00:44:58,479
Wait! There's something
you need to know.
705
00:44:58,569 --> 00:45:00,880
We believe you're in terrible
danger from the Thugs,
706
00:45:00,970 --> 00:45:04,284
a fanatical and ancient cadre
of assassins who are plotting to...
707
00:45:04,373 --> 00:45:05,647
Why don't you girls run off home.
708
00:45:05,733 --> 00:45:07,567
I'd drive you there in my new sports car
709
00:45:07,655 --> 00:45:10,091
but it seems to be painted
on to my new fake garage.
710
00:45:10,176 --> 00:45:12,328
But Johnny, you're in great danger...
711
00:45:12,418 --> 00:45:16,379
Sorry kids. I got to go get accustomed
to my new life of luxury.
712
00:45:26,507 --> 00:45:31,186
Man, that is one big trailer
for one big Bollywood star.
713
00:45:41,797 --> 00:45:44,268
There's no place like fake home.
714
00:45:46,680 --> 00:45:47,557
Whatta day...
715
00:45:48,361 --> 00:45:49,636
Oh, hi, Jeevesy.
716
00:45:54,005 --> 00:45:55,155
You want a tip?
717
00:45:55,246 --> 00:45:57,363
Floss your fangs
and be good to your Mama.
718
00:45:57,447 --> 00:45:58,927
As if you'd know...
719
00:46:01,170 --> 00:46:02,400
Oh, mama...
720
00:46:03,571 --> 00:46:04,926
Oh! Mama!
721
00:46:05,573 --> 00:46:06,973
Who were you expecting?
722
00:46:07,254 --> 00:46:10,089
A Bollywood babe wrapped up in a bow?
723
00:46:13,778 --> 00:46:15,178
No... why do you ask?
724
00:46:16,220 --> 00:46:17,291
Hi, Johnny...
725
00:46:18,301 --> 00:46:19,895
Sorry, Sumi, you gotta scram.
726
00:46:19,982 --> 00:46:21,382
I got Mama issues.
727
00:46:23,264 --> 00:46:25,382
Mama, what are you doing in Indiana?
728
00:46:25,706 --> 00:46:27,823
And without a cowboy hat!
729
00:46:27,908 --> 00:46:30,583
I came to look after your affairs.
730
00:46:30,909 --> 00:46:31,980
Like manage your brand
731
00:46:32,070 --> 00:46:36,067
new fansite:
The Johnny Bravo Photoblog:
732
00:46:37,034 --> 00:46:38,069
Something looks off...
733
00:46:38,635 --> 00:46:39,784
That's an old design.
734
00:46:40,076 --> 00:46:42,193
From before you were useful and famous.
735
00:46:42,277 --> 00:46:46,592
Now, come on, son,
tell Mama about your Bollywood career.
736
00:46:46,680 --> 00:46:47,556
Is it stable?
737
00:46:47,801 --> 00:46:49,793
Stable as this here house.
738
00:46:51,003 --> 00:46:53,154
Yep, I've finally found somewhere
739
00:46:53,244 --> 00:46:57,241
that appreciates me for me
so I ain't going nowhere...
740
00:46:57,567 --> 00:47:01,962
Oh, Johnny,
all your dreams are coming true boy.
741
00:47:02,050 --> 00:47:03,564
Top o' the world, ma.
742
00:47:03,651 --> 00:47:04,562
Top o' the world...
743
00:47:10,455 --> 00:47:13,017
I think you mean bottom of the well.
744
00:47:22,824 --> 00:47:26,103
Man, who knew Bollywood hunks
were supposed to work hard?
745
00:47:37,553 --> 00:47:39,512
Avasitar 2, take one.
746
00:47:41,436 --> 00:47:42,028
Action!
747
00:48:26,666 --> 00:48:27,258
Again.
748
00:50:24,463 --> 00:50:26,501
Well, I'm glad that y'all liked the movie.
749
00:50:29,466 --> 00:50:30,946
You guys are a riot.
750
00:50:31,027 --> 00:50:32,940
Seriously though...
I'd like to thank you
751
00:50:33,029 --> 00:50:36,103
for renaming your
national movie awards the Bravos.
752
00:50:36,831 --> 00:50:38,505
And for awarding them all to me.
753
00:50:38,592 --> 00:50:40,072
Even for things I didn't do.
754
00:50:40,394 --> 00:50:41,623
But I guess what I have most
755
00:50:41,714 --> 00:50:43,753
to be thankful for is those Thug Assassins
756
00:50:43,836 --> 00:50:45,748
haven't tried to get me for some time...
757
00:50:45,837 --> 00:50:47,989
Unless of course, they've just been
waiting to take me down
758
00:50:48,079 --> 00:50:50,310
at some fancy-shcmancy award show.
759
00:50:50,400 --> 00:50:53,042
But, man, that'd be screwier
than the weirdo plots
760
00:50:53,122 --> 00:50:55,160
you people paying money
to see at the movies.
761
00:50:55,443 --> 00:50:58,598
- I mean, talk about koo-koo...
- Johnny Bravo, everyone!
762
00:51:06,211 --> 00:51:06,689
What?
763
00:51:07,171 --> 00:51:07,923
Oh, these?
764
00:51:08,012 --> 00:51:10,004
Only ten thousand rupees a pop.
765
00:51:10,093 --> 00:51:11,767
Coming to a store near you!
766
00:51:15,897 --> 00:51:18,732
You know..It's amazing
how things just keeps going my way.
767
00:51:21,140 --> 00:51:22,211
Oh, mama...
768
00:51:23,622 --> 00:51:24,499
Johnny!
769
00:51:24,583 --> 00:51:26,575
- Oh, no.
- Poor Johnny.
770
00:51:27,344 --> 00:51:29,257
If I had... to be taken out
771
00:51:29,746 --> 00:51:33,139
at least it was...
by someone as... pretty as me...
772
00:51:33,909 --> 00:51:36,379
Oh Johnny, don't say that,
773
00:51:36,751 --> 00:51:39,028
you'll be ok, you will.
774
00:51:39,112 --> 00:51:42,790
A little thinner
in some weird places, but ok.
775
00:51:42,875 --> 00:51:45,345
No, Mama. It's my time.
776
00:51:45,717 --> 00:51:48,676
I really was too
beautiful for this world...
777
00:51:53,722 --> 00:51:57,433
I'll... always love... me too.
778
00:51:59,005 --> 00:52:00,405
I hope y'all caught that on camera,
779
00:52:00,486 --> 00:52:02,319
cause that was some
of my finest work yet!
780
00:52:02,407 --> 00:52:03,125
Go, Bravo!
781
00:52:04,249 --> 00:52:08,040
Noooooooooo! Oh, no...
782
00:52:09,332 --> 00:52:10,971
Ladies and gentlemen,
783
00:52:11,253 --> 00:52:12,289
Johnny Bravo,
784
00:52:12,574 --> 00:52:14,852
Bollywood's greatest action star,
785
00:52:14,936 --> 00:52:17,497
is now an inaction star.
786
00:52:17,778 --> 00:52:20,578
Permanently. Never shall any star
787
00:52:20,659 --> 00:52:23,734
in the Bollywood sky shine as brightly.
788
00:52:24,942 --> 00:52:27,220
Friends, Indians, countrymen.
789
00:52:27,304 --> 00:52:28,943
Lend me your ears.
790
00:52:29,225 --> 00:52:32,379
I come not to praise Johnny Bravo,
but to...
791
00:52:32,467 --> 00:52:33,617
A talking monkey?
792
00:52:33,708 --> 00:52:34,779
Ladies and gentlemen,
793
00:52:34,869 --> 00:52:36,349
we have a new star!
794
00:52:36,630 --> 00:52:39,943
The greatest star in the Indian sky ever!
795
00:52:50,919 --> 00:52:52,274
This is an outrage.
796
00:52:52,520 --> 00:52:55,036
Where are you taking my boy?
797
00:52:55,122 --> 00:52:57,000
And are you sure he's... moved on?
798
00:52:57,083 --> 00:52:58,803
Cause it looked like
he was still breathing.
799
00:52:58,885 --> 00:53:02,084
I fully assure you that Johnny
has passed onto the great white way
800
00:53:02,167 --> 00:53:05,287
and will receive a farewell befitting
a star of his talents.
801
00:53:16,977 --> 00:53:20,370
Something is very suspicious
about all of this.
802
00:53:20,459 --> 00:53:21,689
I smell a rat.
803
00:53:23,541 --> 00:53:24,691
You don't know me...
804
00:53:24,782 --> 00:53:26,182
Take it as a compliment.
805
00:53:26,823 --> 00:53:30,785
Well, I don't know
how things work in your country,
806
00:53:30,866 --> 00:53:34,907
but when there's an unexplained
mystery in the USA,
807
00:53:35,229 --> 00:53:39,509
completely unqualified folks
usually try to solve it.
808
00:53:39,591 --> 00:53:40,821
Are you with me?
809
00:53:41,192 --> 00:53:41,944
We're in.
810
00:53:42,033 --> 00:53:45,505
Now if everything I see on TV is true,
811
00:53:45,795 --> 00:53:47,195
with this much sass,
812
00:53:47,517 --> 00:53:50,032
nosiness and token eye candy
813
00:53:50,118 --> 00:53:54,001
then we'll have this mystery solved
in next to no time...
814
00:53:55,002 --> 00:53:55,639
Or not.
815
00:54:01,806 --> 00:54:03,036
Scat, mouse-cats.
816
00:54:03,127 --> 00:54:05,483
No nibbling on this hunk of cheesecake.
817
00:54:07,089 --> 00:54:10,483
Hey. Not a bone, body part or
hair out of place.
818
00:54:11,212 --> 00:54:12,612
I thought I was a goner.
819
00:54:13,294 --> 00:54:15,491
Waning: Excessive use may result
820
00:54:15,575 --> 00:54:18,217
in the production of super-hairs
able to withstand
821
00:54:18,297 --> 00:54:21,690
pressures up to but not exceeding
a giant golden statue.
822
00:54:22,820 --> 00:54:26,178
May also cause
spontaneous shrinkage of buttocks.
823
00:54:34,227 --> 00:54:36,140
Johnny Bravo...
824
00:54:40,832 --> 00:54:42,061
Sorry tiffin-watsuh.
825
00:54:42,193 --> 00:54:44,868
I'm not feelin too hungry
for maggots and malaria.
826
00:54:45,475 --> 00:54:47,672
You ignoramus! It is I,
827
00:54:47,756 --> 00:54:48,428
Jiggy.
828
00:54:48,797 --> 00:54:50,197
Don't you recognize me?
829
00:54:53,000 --> 00:54:53,717
Jiggy?
830
00:54:55,001 --> 00:54:58,394
Sorry, man, couldn't see you through
all the... humiliation...
831
00:54:58,964 --> 00:54:59,999
What are you implying?
832
00:55:00,084 --> 00:55:02,362
That I was fired
and the only employment left available
833
00:55:02,446 --> 00:55:05,201
to me was to become a tiffin-wallah
in the commissary?
834
00:55:10,371 --> 00:55:13,092
It's true! It's true
835
00:55:13,173 --> 00:55:17,135
I have fallen so far from grace
I have had no choice
836
00:55:17,336 --> 00:55:18,930
but to become one of the lowly people
837
00:55:19,017 --> 00:55:21,089
whose worship made me a millionaire.
838
00:55:21,578 --> 00:55:23,969
Oh the horror! The horror...
839
00:55:24,060 --> 00:55:26,178
Hey man,
being awesome in Indiana ain't all
840
00:55:26,262 --> 00:55:27,776
it's cracked up to be.
841
00:55:27,863 --> 00:55:29,616
At least no-one's trying to get rid of you.
842
00:55:29,704 --> 00:55:31,935
Like some mega superstars I know.
843
00:55:32,266 --> 00:55:33,062
What do you mean?
844
00:55:33,146 --> 00:55:36,106
Some crazy assassins always trying
to knock me off!
845
00:55:36,188 --> 00:55:38,500
Strangulation here, sword-attack there.
846
00:55:38,590 --> 00:55:40,821
Giant golden statue
of yourself tied to your pants
847
00:55:40,911 --> 00:55:42,869
at a national awards ceremony...
848
00:55:42,953 --> 00:55:43,624
What?
849
00:55:43,713 --> 00:55:44,465
Long story.
850
00:55:44,554 --> 00:55:45,874
But you are talking of the Thugs.
851
00:55:46,115 --> 00:55:47,993
Why would Thugs want to get rid of you?
852
00:55:48,076 --> 00:55:51,355
I was their favorite target. Me! Jiggy!
853
00:55:51,438 --> 00:55:52,474
What can I say?
854
00:55:52,559 --> 00:55:55,075
Maybe these thugs are like dogs to trees,
855
00:55:55,161 --> 00:55:56,037
they come and go.
856
00:55:56,121 --> 00:55:59,479
No, don't you see. It's the role!
857
00:56:01,525 --> 00:56:04,246
Whoever is playing Bindiana Jaihones,
858
00:56:04,327 --> 00:56:06,080
they want them to disappear.
859
00:56:06,648 --> 00:56:07,286
But why?
860
00:56:07,649 --> 00:56:08,480
First things first.
861
00:56:08,569 --> 00:56:09,890
You need to take shower.
862
00:56:10,371 --> 00:56:12,249
Second, I know what you're thinking:
863
00:56:12,332 --> 00:56:13,767
That my looks are so razor-sharp
864
00:56:13,853 --> 00:56:16,495
you need chain-mail on your eyeballs
just to look at me.
865
00:56:17,815 --> 00:56:20,570
Which means that it's time
that you and me -
866
00:56:20,657 --> 00:56:23,492
the second and first biggest
Bollywood stars of all time,
867
00:56:23,579 --> 00:56:27,337
respectively... team-up
to bring down the bad guys.
868
00:56:27,942 --> 00:56:31,255
Buddy style! It'll be Jiggy and Bravo.
869
00:56:32,105 --> 00:56:33,619
Bravo and Jiggy.
870
00:56:34,226 --> 00:56:36,299
In a world, they never dreamed of...
871
00:56:38,109 --> 00:56:39,544
You know this is a cool graphic and all,
872
00:56:39,630 --> 00:56:41,941
but you really need to back up
and take a shower.
873
00:57:10,690 --> 00:57:13,491
Oh, mama.
That's poor Jeevesy down there.
874
00:57:13,572 --> 00:57:15,530
He's next in line to be knocked off.
875
00:57:15,934 --> 00:57:17,448
Poor dumb monkey.
876
00:57:18,255 --> 00:57:21,693
Johnny. Are you sure these disguises
are going to work?
877
00:57:22,698 --> 00:57:23,575
Are you kidding?
878
00:57:23,659 --> 00:57:24,980
Who would expect a couple of actors
879
00:57:25,060 --> 00:57:26,779
to be dressing up
as someone they're not?
880
00:57:26,861 --> 00:57:29,616
Well, what have we here?
881
00:57:31,264 --> 00:57:32,744
You must think we are fools...
882
00:57:33,185 --> 00:57:34,824
...to let a couple of beautiful ladies
883
00:57:34,906 --> 00:57:36,818
like you escape our attention.
884
00:57:40,070 --> 00:57:41,060
To the office.
885
00:57:41,150 --> 00:57:43,223
We are just about to drink a toast...
886
00:57:43,312 --> 00:57:46,511
To the good riddance
of Jiggy and Johnny Bravo.
887
00:57:48,835 --> 00:57:50,828
You see? This is why you are single
888
00:57:50,917 --> 00:57:51,907
with the bwa-ha-has...
889
00:57:52,438 --> 00:57:54,396
What my friend meant to say is
890
00:57:54,479 --> 00:57:58,760
"a toast to the discovery
of two new beautiful Bollywood babes."
891
00:57:58,842 --> 00:58:00,641
We'd love to.
892
00:58:00,723 --> 00:58:02,921
Come on, you don't want to keep a couple
893
00:58:03,005 --> 00:58:06,477
of convincing ladies waiting, do you?
894
00:58:12,851 --> 00:58:15,971
The tall, broad-shouldered
one looks strangely familiar...
895
00:58:21,857 --> 00:58:23,849
Alright,
this is the final feat of strength.
896
00:58:23,938 --> 00:58:26,011
Then you will do the dancing, yes?
897
00:58:27,261 --> 00:58:30,972
Give it up, un-dude.
I'm way more wo-manly than you.
898
00:58:32,224 --> 00:58:34,296
In your dreams, she-buddy.
899
00:58:40,109 --> 00:58:40,941
I knew it!
900
00:58:41,030 --> 00:58:42,783
Ahmet, that's no woman.
901
00:58:42,871 --> 00:58:44,510
That's Johnny Bravo!
902
00:58:46,593 --> 00:58:48,666
How did you see through my disguise?
903
00:58:48,755 --> 00:58:52,193
I didn't.
I simply recall seeing an audition tape
904
00:58:52,277 --> 00:58:55,795
many years ago with a similar
looking broad-shouldered woman in it.
905
00:58:56,760 --> 00:59:00,916
One so disturbing that very few
even dared to keep a copy...
906
00:59:01,003 --> 00:59:01,561
You mean...?
907
00:59:01,643 --> 00:59:03,203
Yes - The Audition Tape
908
00:59:03,284 --> 00:59:05,926
That You Posted on the Internet
and Can't Erase!
909
00:59:06,006 --> 00:59:07,566
Also known as...
910
00:59:07,647 --> 00:59:10,118
...The Jeannie Ovarb Tapes.
911
00:59:11,730 --> 00:59:13,210
Jeeves, not this part.
912
00:59:14,332 --> 00:59:16,006
You can edit that out, right?
913
00:59:16,733 --> 00:59:20,491
I have always relied
on the kindness of strangers...
914
00:59:22,377 --> 00:59:24,939
Help me, Obli-Wobbly Kennobli,
915
00:59:25,019 --> 00:59:26,818
you're my only hope..
916
00:59:29,822 --> 00:59:32,782
Ready for my close-up,
Mr. De Mile.
917
00:59:33,144 --> 00:59:34,579
Too close, man, too close...
918
00:59:36,386 --> 00:59:37,343
What's my name?
919
00:59:37,707 --> 00:59:40,178
John...
I mean... Jeannie Ovarb.
920
00:59:40,269 --> 00:59:43,309
Female actress. Lady model.
921
00:59:43,391 --> 00:59:45,144
Furniture removalist girlie.
922
00:59:45,552 --> 00:59:47,669
Don't call me. I'll call you.
923
00:59:49,955 --> 00:59:50,387
What?
924
00:59:50,475 --> 00:59:53,276
You've never done anything
embarrassing to make a buck?
925
00:59:53,357 --> 00:59:54,678
Nope! Not like that.
926
00:59:55,519 --> 00:59:56,156
Yeah, whatever.
927
00:59:56,239 --> 00:59:57,389
What's up with you and the Thugs
928
00:59:57,480 --> 00:59:59,199
trying to put me and Jiggly out of action?
929
00:59:59,641 --> 01:00:00,313
May I?
930
01:00:04,044 --> 01:00:05,638
For the only reason there is,
931
01:00:05,725 --> 01:00:07,205
you fool - money.
932
01:00:08,647 --> 01:00:12,769
You see, our plan was
to make Bindiana Jaihones famous
933
01:00:12,850 --> 01:00:15,731
for being Jiggy's last film... ever...
934
01:00:15,812 --> 01:00:16,723
It's a well-known fact
935
01:00:16,813 --> 01:00:19,613
that no matter how much money
a working celebrity brings in,
936
01:00:19,695 --> 01:00:21,573
it doesn't compare to the publicity value
937
01:00:21,656 --> 01:00:23,887
of a well-timed sudden retirement.
938
01:00:24,258 --> 01:00:26,136
So we hired a Thug Cult
939
01:00:26,219 --> 01:00:27,095
who had been aggrieved
940
01:00:27,179 --> 01:00:30,253
by one of Jiggy's many
ill-fated advertisements.
941
01:00:30,342 --> 01:00:32,334
Hugs for Thugs, please
942
01:00:32,743 --> 01:00:34,735
That's the way to go go go...
943
01:00:34,824 --> 01:00:35,860
Hugs for thugs?
944
01:00:35,945 --> 01:00:38,746
Like you're one to criticize "Jeannie."
945
01:00:38,827 --> 01:00:40,057
All was going to plan.
946
01:00:40,148 --> 01:00:42,186
Until Johnny Bravo came along
947
01:00:42,269 --> 01:00:44,023
and shone like a supernova
948
01:00:44,111 --> 01:00:46,422
compared to Jiggy's dwarf star.
949
01:00:46,832 --> 01:00:50,465
And so we decided
to make you a megastar.
950
01:00:51,275 --> 01:00:52,789
Thanks. Much obliged.
951
01:00:53,837 --> 01:00:55,715
And the new victim of our plot.
952
01:00:56,599 --> 01:00:58,477
Not so thanky on that one.
953
01:00:59,641 --> 01:01:00,312
Enough talk.
954
01:01:00,401 --> 01:01:01,915
We have heard all we need to hear.
955
01:01:02,002 --> 01:01:03,915
Come, Johnny, we must notify the police.
956
01:01:06,245 --> 01:01:07,441
May I use your phone?
957
01:01:07,526 --> 01:01:09,723
I don't have a lot
of minutes left on my phone.
958
01:01:09,807 --> 01:01:11,368
I think not. Besides,
959
01:01:11,449 --> 01:01:13,009
you fools are just wasting time.
960
01:01:13,090 --> 01:01:16,130
The Thugs demanded an extra special
payment for their services.
961
01:01:16,612 --> 01:01:17,603
A sacrifice!
962
01:01:18,974 --> 01:01:20,613
A human sacrifice!
963
01:01:22,376 --> 01:01:25,052
Of certain people you know...
964
01:01:26,378 --> 01:01:28,017
Oh for heaven's sake.
It's Pinky, Shinky,
965
01:01:28,100 --> 01:01:29,010
Sumi and Mama Bravo.
966
01:01:29,100 --> 01:01:30,296
- Piggy and Shonky!
- Sumi and Mama!
967
01:01:30,381 --> 01:01:32,659
Noooooooooo!
968
01:01:33,623 --> 01:01:34,739
Mine was bigger.
969
01:01:35,184 --> 01:01:37,860
Time for the Bravo Jiggyball special.
970
01:01:38,947 --> 01:01:39,982
What is the...
971
01:01:42,429 --> 01:01:44,501
Geronimooooooo!
972
01:01:51,715 --> 01:01:53,150
Come on, my brother.
973
01:01:53,476 --> 01:01:55,275
Jiggy and Bravo ride again.
974
01:01:57,519 --> 01:01:59,989
I take it you know
where the secret Thug Temple is?
975
01:02:00,081 --> 01:02:03,280
No, but I think we both know
the one person who would...
976
01:02:13,129 --> 01:02:16,567
So, you seek the secret Thug Temple?
977
01:02:16,932 --> 01:02:17,683
How do you know?
978
01:02:18,052 --> 01:02:20,250
The Voodoo Guru knows all.
979
01:02:20,654 --> 01:02:22,328
Well then, how much wood would
a woodchuck chuck
980
01:02:22,415 --> 01:02:23,929
if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
981
01:02:25,657 --> 01:02:26,693
Sounds about right.
982
01:02:27,138 --> 01:02:28,938
Then what's the way
to the secret Thug Temple?
983
01:02:34,423 --> 01:02:36,655
And then make a left, Gotcha!
984
01:02:40,827 --> 01:02:41,499
What is it?
985
01:02:41,588 --> 01:02:43,978
A special batch
of my most powerful hair gel.
986
01:02:44,069 --> 01:02:45,583
If you get in real trouble,
987
01:02:45,951 --> 01:02:47,386
use your heads.
988
01:02:47,952 --> 01:02:50,548
Thank you, Voodoo Guru.
But why do you help us?
989
01:02:50,634 --> 01:02:56,350
Because... Sometimes not just thugs
need hugs, please...
990
01:02:56,838 --> 01:02:58,989
Whoa, buddy.
We were after directions ok?
991
01:02:59,079 --> 01:03:00,958
Not therapy. Go go go!
992
01:03:02,882 --> 01:03:05,683
But it's your jingle! Remember...
993
01:03:05,884 --> 01:03:07,683
"Hugs for thugs, please,
994
01:03:07,765 --> 01:03:09,882
that's the way to go go go..."
995
01:03:10,007 --> 01:03:11,646
I'm so lonely...
996
01:03:14,009 --> 01:03:15,887
Are you sure you got
those directions right?
997
01:03:16,131 --> 01:03:16,643
Mostly.
998
01:03:16,731 --> 01:03:17,608
Halfway through him telling me,
999
01:03:17,692 --> 01:03:19,604
I saw myself reflected in the bike mirror
1000
01:03:19,693 --> 01:03:21,571
and couldn't take my eyes off me.
1001
01:03:21,934 --> 01:03:23,688
Hey look - there I am again.
1002
01:03:23,776 --> 01:03:24,572
Hey, me!
1003
01:03:27,858 --> 01:03:28,690
Stuntmen!
1004
01:03:29,099 --> 01:03:31,900
Why did it have to be a stuntmen?
1005
01:03:44,549 --> 01:03:45,904
I think we lost 'em.
1006
01:03:45,990 --> 01:03:46,822
Now where was I?
1007
01:03:47,151 --> 01:03:47,947
Oh, yeah...
1008
01:03:48,032 --> 01:03:48,863
We're here.
1009
01:03:48,952 --> 01:03:50,864
We can admire our beauty, later.
1010
01:03:54,596 --> 01:03:56,076
What took you so long?
1011
01:03:57,198 --> 01:03:59,395
You save the day, I'll call the police.
1012
01:04:01,200 --> 01:04:03,842
That dude is starting
to give me the irrits.
1013
01:04:04,082 --> 01:04:04,674
Mama!
1014
01:04:17,211 --> 01:04:18,611
Oh, Almighty One,
1015
01:04:18,692 --> 01:04:22,528
take these sacrifices unto you
to ensure prosperity
1016
01:04:22,614 --> 01:04:25,847
for your followers
and also as a bit of a lark...
1017
01:04:31,260 --> 01:04:33,572
Johnny, you're alive!
1018
01:04:36,543 --> 01:04:38,456
Lark this, monkey-lover.
1019
01:04:39,906 --> 01:04:41,625
That doesn't make any sense.
1020
01:04:41,987 --> 01:04:44,663
Do you even know what a "lark" is?
1021
01:04:46,790 --> 01:04:49,227
He means it's time to get Jiggy with it.
1022
01:04:50,593 --> 01:04:52,107
What does that even mean?
1023
01:04:52,474 --> 01:04:55,389
Can someone please dispose
of these fools?
1024
01:05:35,662 --> 01:05:37,017
Can I get a "Go, Johnny?"
1025
01:05:37,303 --> 01:05:39,262
"Go, Johnny. Go, Johnny."
1026
01:05:39,665 --> 01:05:41,304
Now can I have a "Go, Jiggy?"
1027
01:05:41,666 --> 01:05:43,066
Nah. Needs more Johnny.
1028
01:05:44,508 --> 01:05:46,068
Not so fast, Bravo.
1029
01:05:46,630 --> 01:05:50,421
Neeeedsss mooorreee Joooohn...
1030
01:05:50,512 --> 01:05:52,265
What are you waiting for? Get them!
1031
01:06:01,079 --> 01:06:03,230
Whass a pretty monkey-lady like you doing
1032
01:06:03,321 --> 01:06:06,155
in an rotten person's den like this?
1033
01:06:06,843 --> 01:06:08,323
Y'know, your kinda cute.
1034
01:06:08,764 --> 01:06:12,556
Nice body,
shame about the hairy, monkey-head...
1035
01:06:13,968 --> 01:06:14,446
Johnny...
1036
01:06:14,808 --> 01:06:15,480
Excuse me, miss...
1037
01:06:15,569 --> 01:06:17,846
Johnny, we are in real trouble...
1038
01:06:18,250 --> 01:06:20,050
If you get in real trouble,
1039
01:06:20,132 --> 01:06:22,090
use your heads...
1040
01:06:22,493 --> 01:06:23,928
Use your heads...
1041
01:06:24,414 --> 01:06:25,689
Your heads...
1042
01:06:26,015 --> 01:06:26,847
Heads...
1043
01:06:27,256 --> 01:06:28,611
Heads...
1044
01:06:29,138 --> 01:06:32,178
Man, just when I thought you couldn't
get any weirder.
1045
01:06:45,068 --> 01:06:46,946
Is it? Are those...?
1046
01:06:50,472 --> 01:06:52,623
Beams of pure awesomeness.
1047
01:06:52,713 --> 01:06:53,624
Impossible!
1048
01:06:53,714 --> 01:06:56,275
Rays of utter beauty! It cannot be.
1049
01:07:03,600 --> 01:07:04,511
We give up!
1050
01:07:04,601 --> 01:07:05,193
We surrender!
1051
01:07:05,281 --> 01:07:07,399
We're too uncool
to face such awesomeness.
1052
01:07:10,885 --> 01:07:13,002
I've seen enough cartoons to know
1053
01:07:13,086 --> 01:07:16,320
that the only thing left
to do is unmask the Big Bad guy.
1054
01:07:17,970 --> 01:07:20,247
It's the Director from Bollywood Studios.
1055
01:07:20,852 --> 01:07:21,648
Waitasec...
1056
01:07:23,093 --> 01:07:26,486
It's the nameless head tiffin-wallah
from the commissary.
1057
01:07:28,136 --> 01:07:31,017
It's the dangerous ape
from the monkey palace.
1058
01:07:37,182 --> 01:07:37,934
Hey, me.
1059
01:07:38,823 --> 01:07:40,258
You know. Up close,
1060
01:07:40,344 --> 01:07:42,223
I don't look as bad as I thought.
1061
01:07:43,707 --> 01:07:44,663
Not the face.
1062
01:07:45,067 --> 01:07:48,267
Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle's mama.
1063
01:07:48,950 --> 01:07:50,305
Yes, it was me.
1064
01:07:50,591 --> 01:07:52,469
You see it's been my lifelong dream
1065
01:07:52,552 --> 01:07:55,946
to show all little
aspiring monkey-cum-butler-cum-cult
1066
01:07:56,035 --> 01:08:00,555
assassins-cum-actors that it is possible
to achieve all your dreams,
1067
01:08:00,638 --> 01:08:04,190
no matter how big
or how small they may be.
1068
01:08:04,680 --> 01:08:05,796
I hear you monkey-boy.
1069
01:08:06,001 --> 01:08:07,720
And I feel your monkey-pain.
1070
01:08:08,043 --> 01:08:11,675
I once knew a monkey that wanted
to be nothing more than a primate butler,
1071
01:08:11,765 --> 01:08:13,518
but he was kept down by the Man.
1072
01:08:13,766 --> 01:08:17,079
A hot, handsome man
with hot handsome hair.
1073
01:08:17,329 --> 01:08:18,399
And hot handsome...
1074
01:08:19,450 --> 01:08:22,922
I believe I was in the middle
of my melodramatic,
1075
01:08:23,012 --> 01:08:24,732
expositional monologue.
1076
01:08:24,974 --> 01:08:28,094
Whatever. Just wrap it up.
This movie ain't called "Jai Ho Jeeves."
1077
01:08:28,176 --> 01:08:30,646
But don't you want me to explain how I...
1078
01:08:30,938 --> 01:08:32,577
Nah. Maybe just skip to the whole
1079
01:08:32,659 --> 01:08:34,378
"And I would've gotten away with it" bit...
1080
01:08:35,180 --> 01:08:36,091
Alright!
1081
01:08:36,661 --> 01:08:41,135
And I would've gotten away with it
if it weren't for those meddling kids.
1082
01:08:41,585 --> 01:08:44,339
Yeah, yeah. We all know
how the rest goes.
1083
01:08:44,707 --> 01:08:47,861
Man, do all supervillains
just sit around watching Scooby Doo?
1084
01:08:48,549 --> 01:08:49,506
Hi, Velma,
1085
01:08:54,033 --> 01:08:56,184
You probably get this all the time, but
1086
01:08:56,274 --> 01:08:57,470
can we have your autograph?
1087
01:08:57,795 --> 01:09:00,437
Sure. Johnny Bravo does anything
for his fans.
1088
01:09:03,839 --> 01:09:05,912
Not Johnny Bravo... Jeannie Ovarb.
1089
01:09:06,001 --> 01:09:08,198
We're all big fans down at the station...
1090
01:09:09,763 --> 01:09:12,518
Whatever floats your boat, officer.
1091
01:09:12,965 --> 01:09:15,163
How can you ever forgive me?
1092
01:09:15,247 --> 01:09:17,888
Well you can start
by making me your agent.
1093
01:09:18,409 --> 01:09:19,764
And me your manager.
1094
01:09:20,130 --> 01:09:22,008
And we'll take, let's say,
1095
01:09:22,091 --> 01:09:22,923
eighty percent...
1096
01:09:23,212 --> 01:09:24,612
Eighty? Let's say forty.
1097
01:09:24,693 --> 01:09:25,125
Eighty.
1098
01:09:25,213 --> 01:09:25,692
Forty.
1099
01:09:25,774 --> 01:09:26,366
Forty.
1100
01:09:26,454 --> 01:09:26,966
Eighty...
1101
01:09:27,055 --> 01:09:27,692
Forty.
1102
01:09:27,775 --> 01:09:29,255
- Eighty.
- They're the best little stalkers
1103
01:09:29,336 --> 01:09:32,330
who became ten year-old agents
who I fired I ever met in my life.
1104
01:09:32,658 --> 01:09:33,090
Come on,
1105
01:09:33,179 --> 01:09:36,617
Johnny, let's blow this pop stand
and go home, honey.
1106
01:09:36,981 --> 01:09:38,495
Run and say goodbye now.
1107
01:09:38,582 --> 01:09:39,459
Deal!
1108
01:09:39,623 --> 01:09:41,456
Eighty percent - sucker...
1109
01:09:42,224 --> 01:09:44,536
Just came to give you a goodbye present:
1110
01:09:45,186 --> 01:09:47,145
Looking at me while I say "goodbye."
1111
01:09:47,388 --> 01:09:50,143
We'll never forget you, Johnny Bravo.
1112
01:09:50,710 --> 01:09:52,384
Back at you, Slippy and Dippy.
1113
01:09:54,232 --> 01:09:56,953
You know there's no shame
in being the second best
1114
01:09:57,034 --> 01:09:58,184
looking man in Bollywood.
1115
01:09:58,275 --> 01:10:01,110
I am glad you have accepted that,
my friend.
1116
01:10:10,483 --> 01:10:11,280
Johnny!
1117
01:10:16,647 --> 01:10:17,524
Keep it, kid.
1118
01:10:18,128 --> 01:10:19,642
I realized something today.
1119
01:10:19,969 --> 01:10:22,929
The power of pure awesomeness
isn't in any hair-gel.
1120
01:10:23,011 --> 01:10:25,368
It's in me. It always was.
1121
01:10:27,134 --> 01:10:30,811
Actually, it really was in the hair-gel.
1122
01:10:31,657 --> 01:10:33,376
Better give me a couple thousand.
1123
01:10:36,376 --> 01:10:40,376
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80117
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