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1
00:00:04,418 --> 00:00:06,075
Want some coffee?
2
00:00:06,213 --> 00:00:07,179
You know, like,
a half a cup.
3
00:00:20,572 --> 00:00:22,298
[CLANGING]
4
00:00:47,495 --> 00:00:48,841
How long have you been
waiting with that?
5
00:00:48,979 --> 00:00:49,980
A little while.
6
00:01:03,132 --> 00:01:05,134
♪ Tell me why
7
00:01:06,238 --> 00:01:07,653
♪ I love you like I do
8
00:01:07,791 --> 00:01:09,552
♪ Tell me who
9
00:01:09,690 --> 00:01:12,693
♪ Can start my heart
as much as you
10
00:01:12,831 --> 00:01:14,419
♪ Tell me
all your secrets
11
00:01:14,557 --> 00:01:16,731
♪ I'll tell you
most of mine
12
00:01:16,869 --> 00:01:18,354
♪ They say
nobody's perfect
13
00:01:18,492 --> 00:01:21,046
♪ Well, that's really
true this time
14
00:01:21,184 --> 00:01:23,359
♪ 'Cause I don't
have the answers
15
00:01:23,497 --> 00:01:25,257
♪ I don't have a plan
16
00:01:25,395 --> 00:01:26,948
♪ All I have is you
17
00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:29,227
♪ So, baby,
help me understand
18
00:01:29,365 --> 00:01:31,021
♪ What we do
19
00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:33,162
♪ You can whisper
in my ear
20
00:01:33,300 --> 00:01:35,233
♪ Where we go
21
00:01:35,371 --> 00:01:37,890
♪ Who knows what happens
after here?
22
00:01:38,028 --> 00:01:39,961
♪ Let's take
each other's hand
23
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:43,517
♪ And jump
into the final frontier
24
00:01:45,484 --> 00:01:47,624
♪ The final frontier ♪
25
00:01:50,765 --> 00:01:52,802
All right, Mabel,
this is funny.
26
00:01:52,940 --> 00:01:54,010
This is gonna get
a laugh outta you.
27
00:01:54,148 --> 00:01:55,115
There's a laugh
in there,
28
00:01:55,253 --> 00:01:56,530
and I'm gonna
get it.
29
00:01:56,668 --> 00:01:58,152
This is the funniest thing
you ever-you ready?
30
00:01:58,290 --> 00:01:59,257
Here it is.
31
00:02:05,332 --> 00:02:06,264
Don't do that!
32
00:02:06,402 --> 00:02:07,334
Don't ever
do that again.
33
00:02:07,472 --> 00:02:08,404
It's physical comedy.
34
00:02:08,542 --> 00:02:09,508
Mabel,
35
00:02:10,199 --> 00:02:11,200
Who's ticklish?
36
00:02:11,890 --> 00:02:13,719
Who's, Ticklish?
37
00:02:13,857 --> 00:02:16,446
Who's the most ticklish girl
in the world?
38
00:02:16,584 --> 00:02:18,276
Who's very, very ticklish?
39
00:02:19,277 --> 00:02:20,209
Who-
40
00:02:20,347 --> 00:02:21,279
Why isn't she laughing?
41
00:02:21,417 --> 00:02:22,935
Some babies are not
so much ticklish.
42
00:02:23,073 --> 00:02:24,868
That's okay. We got
other funny things.
43
00:02:25,006 --> 00:02:26,767
This is funny. Watch.
44
00:02:26,905 --> 00:02:28,113
Daddy's wavin' good-bye.
45
00:02:28,251 --> 00:02:29,770
He's sayin',
"Bye, Mabel."
46
00:02:29,908 --> 00:02:32,082
He's walkin' away,
but, he's not lookin'
where he's goin'.
47
00:02:32,221 --> 00:02:34,775
There's a chair!
Whoa! Ow!
48
00:02:34,913 --> 00:02:36,535
Oh! Are you all right?
49
00:02:36,673 --> 00:02:37,709
Is she laughin'?
50
00:02:37,847 --> 00:02:38,813
JAMIE: No.
51
00:02:38,951 --> 00:02:40,125
We should go.
Then, ow!
52
00:02:40,401 --> 00:02:41,333
Ow!
53
00:02:41,471 --> 00:02:42,472
Aren't you late?
54
00:02:42,610 --> 00:02:44,371
Ow! Yeah,
but, you know what?
55
00:02:44,509 --> 00:02:45,855
That's all right.
I don't care.
56
00:02:45,993 --> 00:02:48,858
I'm finding it
very hard to get excited
about this job today.
57
00:02:48,996 --> 00:02:50,135
Honey, it's a documentary.
58
00:02:50,273 --> 00:02:51,585
Just, Barely.
59
00:02:51,723 --> 00:02:54,104
The Making of
the Making of Titanic.
60
00:02:54,243 --> 00:02:55,347
So? Big hit film.
61
00:02:55,485 --> 00:02:57,936
Yeah,
but, it's so parasitic.
62
00:02:58,074 --> 00:02:59,627
I'm not even glommin' off
a big hit movie.
63
00:02:59,765 --> 00:03:01,111
I'm glomming off the gloom.
64
00:03:01,250 --> 00:03:02,699
So, you're taking her
this morning,
65
00:03:02,837 --> 00:03:04,322
and Ira's
gonna meet you there
to help you watch her?
66
00:03:04,460 --> 00:03:07,290
Yeah, I got you,
then I lose Ira at 1:00,
67
00:03:07,428 --> 00:03:09,189
so I'll let the crew
eat lunch at 1:00.
68
00:03:09,327 --> 00:03:10,707
When Ira goes,
I'll take a cab.
69
00:03:10,845 --> 00:03:12,053
I'll drop the baby
off with you.
70
00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:13,641
Then, I don't know,
I'll grab a hot dog
or somethin'
71
00:03:13,779 --> 00:03:14,953
on the way back
in the cab,
72
00:03:15,091 --> 00:03:17,197
And then I'll be nauseous
all the way to Brooklyn.
73
00:03:17,335 --> 00:03:18,681
Okay.
74
00:03:18,819 --> 00:03:20,510
That works out well
for you, does it?
Yeah.
75
00:03:21,235 --> 00:03:22,512
All right.
Here we go.
76
00:03:22,650 --> 00:03:24,687
Honey, we can
do this easily
and gracefully.
77
00:03:24,825 --> 00:03:25,791
Ow!
78
00:03:25,929 --> 00:03:27,276
Honey, it doesn't
make her laugh.
79
00:03:27,414 --> 00:03:28,932
I know. I'm saying,
literally, "ow!"
80
00:03:30,831 --> 00:03:32,350
Mabel, listen to this.
81
00:03:32,488 --> 00:03:34,179
A rabbi, a priest,
and a lawyer,
82
00:03:34,317 --> 00:03:35,456
They're in a lifeboat.
Sweetie?
83
00:03:35,594 --> 00:03:36,561
I'm trying something.
84
00:03:43,050 --> 00:03:44,051
PAUL: Okay.
85
00:03:45,777 --> 00:03:48,400
Okay, so, um, when you
made your film,
86
00:03:48,538 --> 00:03:49,643
The making of
Titanic,
87
00:03:49,781 --> 00:03:51,610
you interviewed
James Cameron,
the director,
88
00:03:51,748 --> 00:03:52,646
didn't you?
89
00:03:52,784 --> 00:03:53,785
Uh, yeah.
90
00:03:54,475 --> 00:03:55,373
What was that like?
91
00:03:55,511 --> 00:03:56,477
Oh, it was great.
92
00:03:58,203 --> 00:04:02,069
Okay. Uh, Did-did
he have stories?
93
00:04:02,207 --> 00:04:03,622
Did he have any stories
that he shared with you?
94
00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:07,695
Oh, yeah. He told
this great story
about how, um,
95
00:04:07,833 --> 00:04:09,318
one night the boat,
96
00:04:09,456 --> 00:04:12,769
they couldn't get the,
uh, uh, the model boat
97
00:04:12,907 --> 00:04:15,531
to, like, sit
in the water right.
98
00:04:15,945 --> 00:04:17,222
I guess.
99
00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:20,329
So they put, um,
they had to put,
like, uh,
100
00:04:21,088 --> 00:04:22,538
an orange
on the side of it.
101
00:04:23,815 --> 00:04:26,956
Or, something-I'm not sure
exactly what they did.
102
00:04:27,094 --> 00:04:29,786
But, it was a great story.
103
00:04:29,924 --> 00:04:31,650
It's in Making of
the Titanic.
104
00:04:31,788 --> 00:04:34,446
Okay. So, So your film
came out pretty good
then, huh?
105
00:04:34,826 --> 00:04:35,758
Yeah.
106
00:04:35,896 --> 00:04:37,449
[MABEL CRYING]
107
00:04:37,587 --> 00:04:38,761
Shh... Shh,
PAUL: Hey! Hey!
108
00:04:38,899 --> 00:04:40,383
Could you, like, maybe
get her to cry louder?
109
00:04:40,521 --> 00:04:41,695
[MABEL CRIES LOUDER]
110
00:04:41,833 --> 00:04:42,903
Yeah, she can cry louder.
111
00:04:44,214 --> 00:04:47,079
You know what?
Let's cut, all right?
112
00:04:47,217 --> 00:04:49,772
♪ Hush, little baby,
don't you cry
113
00:04:49,910 --> 00:04:52,878
♪ Or, Ira's gonna
gouge out his own eye
114
00:04:53,016 --> 00:04:54,397
Spend a lot of time
around kids, do you?
115
00:04:54,535 --> 00:04:56,399
Hey, I could spend less.
116
00:04:56,537 --> 00:04:58,436
Okay. I know what.
You need somethin' funny.
117
00:04:58,574 --> 00:05:00,161
You need to laugh.
You ready? Watch this.
118
00:05:03,164 --> 00:05:04,096
What is that?
119
00:05:04,234 --> 00:05:05,857
That's Popeye!
120
00:05:05,995 --> 00:05:07,824
Okay, I will gladly
pay you Tuesday to stop
doing that today.
121
00:05:07,962 --> 00:05:10,827
Okay. Just go to uncle Ira,
and I'll get you a juice.
122
00:05:10,965 --> 00:05:12,588
You could take a nap,
by the way.
123
00:05:16,695 --> 00:05:17,627
Excuse me.
124
00:05:17,765 --> 00:05:19,491
Do you, by any chance,
have any shrimp?
125
00:05:19,871 --> 00:05:20,837
What?
126
00:05:20,975 --> 00:05:22,080
Shrimp. Do you have
any shrimp on you?
127
00:05:23,599 --> 00:05:24,531
Sadly, no.
128
00:05:24,669 --> 00:05:26,740
Aw, shoot. Darn!
129
00:05:26,878 --> 00:05:28,086
You know,
i brought the basil
130
00:05:28,224 --> 00:05:30,951
for the shrimp creole
for the catering table,
131
00:05:31,089 --> 00:05:32,470
and then I brought
the onion,
132
00:05:32,608 --> 00:05:34,989
and I got the salt
and the white pepper
and the black pepper
133
00:05:35,127 --> 00:05:36,715
and the cayenne pepper
and the oregano,
134
00:05:36,853 --> 00:05:38,959
And I got
the celery rib and-
135
00:05:39,097 --> 00:05:40,098
Got the celery rib,
do ya?
136
00:05:40,236 --> 00:05:42,031
Oh, yeah,
got the celery rib.
Good.
137
00:05:42,169 --> 00:05:44,136
And I got the olive oil
and the cloves. And, uh,
138
00:05:44,274 --> 00:05:46,794
I have everything
except for, uh-
139
00:05:46,932 --> 00:05:47,968
Do you want to guess?
Shrimp?
140
00:05:48,106 --> 00:05:49,245
Yes.
Yes.
141
00:05:49,383 --> 00:05:50,971
Okay. You know what?
Excuse me one second.
142
00:05:51,109 --> 00:05:52,213
I'm kinda busy-
143
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:53,767
Do you have
any thoughts?
What?
144
00:05:53,905 --> 00:05:57,184
Because I have the, um,
I have the creole sauce
made,
145
00:05:57,322 --> 00:05:58,737
so I have to make
something creole,
146
00:05:58,875 --> 00:06:01,257
and I'm wondering
what-what are you
in the mood for?
147
00:06:01,395 --> 00:06:04,364
Creole doughnuts
or, creole Clark bars
148
00:06:04,502 --> 00:06:06,676
Or, creole
cap'n crunch-which,
he was, by the way.
149
00:06:06,814 --> 00:06:07,850
He was what?
Creole.
150
00:06:07,988 --> 00:06:09,955
He was a cap'n-creole.
Cap'n crunch.
151
00:06:10,093 --> 00:06:11,025
Cap'n crunch the man?
152
00:06:11,163 --> 00:06:12,130
He was a creole.
153
00:06:12,268 --> 00:06:13,959
Um-um-I'm sorry.
What is your name?
154
00:06:14,097 --> 00:06:15,029
Nancy.
155
00:06:15,167 --> 00:06:16,237
Nancy. Okay, forgive me,
156
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:17,756
But, a-i have to go
take care of my daughter,
157
00:06:17,894 --> 00:06:19,240
And two- who-
Who are you?
158
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:22,899
Oh, "c" or, three-
I mean, who are you
159
00:06:23,037 --> 00:06:24,591
to bring a baby
on the sound stage,
then?
160
00:06:25,281 --> 00:06:27,697
D- I'm the director.
161
00:06:27,835 --> 00:06:30,562
Oh, E- gads,
that's a good baby.
162
00:06:32,702 --> 00:06:34,186
That's a beautiful baby.
163
00:06:34,324 --> 00:06:35,395
Isn't that
a beautiful baby?
164
00:06:35,533 --> 00:06:36,741
You don't have
to say that. Thank you.
165
00:06:36,879 --> 00:06:38,467
That's a-oh, my.
166
00:06:38,605 --> 00:06:40,710
I was suckin' up before,
but, that is a beautiful baby.
167
00:06:41,815 --> 00:06:43,195
That is a-
Hello.
168
00:06:43,333 --> 00:06:45,439
Now, look, I'll tell you
why you're crying.
169
00:06:45,577 --> 00:06:48,649
'Cause you're two feet tall,
and you type, like,
zero words a minute,
170
00:06:48,787 --> 00:06:52,342
and you're wearing
a leisure suit covered
in ducks, apparently.
171
00:06:52,481 --> 00:06:53,620
Let it out. Go on.
172
00:06:56,795 --> 00:06:58,348
Okay, how do
you do that?
173
00:06:58,487 --> 00:06:59,764
Oldest of 11 kids.
174
00:06:59,902 --> 00:07:00,834
Really?
175
00:07:00,972 --> 00:07:02,387
Susie, Raymond, Michael,
176
00:07:02,525 --> 00:07:03,664
Okay.
177
00:07:03,802 --> 00:07:06,356
Tierney, Tiffany, Tammy,
Kerry, Patsy, Pablo-
178
00:07:06,495 --> 00:07:08,186
They were in Italy
for Pablo. Yes.
179
00:07:08,324 --> 00:07:09,601
Okay. You know what?
And Jennifer.
180
00:07:09,739 --> 00:07:11,361
What's that?
The last one-Jennifer.
181
00:07:11,500 --> 00:07:12,639
Okay. Good. Uh-
182
00:07:13,053 --> 00:07:14,537
Okay. Well-
183
00:07:14,675 --> 00:07:16,436
All right, everybody.
Let's shoot some film,
shall we?
184
00:07:16,574 --> 00:07:17,540
MAN: Rolling.
185
00:07:18,817 --> 00:07:19,784
[BELL BUZZES]
186
00:07:19,922 --> 00:07:21,510
WOMAN: Fire!
187
00:07:22,027 --> 00:07:24,236
[SHOUTING]
188
00:07:25,652 --> 00:07:28,102
I got it. It's okay.
189
00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:29,587
Why don't we just
take a break.
190
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:33,038
[KNOCKING AT DOOR]
191
00:07:33,176 --> 00:07:34,868
Uh, Mr. Carville,
don't you want to come
out of there now, sir?
192
00:07:35,006 --> 00:07:37,422
I'm sure the stapler
just slipped out
of your wife-
193
00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:39,251
Um, Ms. Matalin's hands.
194
00:07:39,389 --> 00:07:40,356
JAMES: Shut up, Henry!
195
00:07:40,494 --> 00:07:41,599
Okay.
196
00:07:41,737 --> 00:07:43,393
God, don't tell me
they're fighting again.
197
00:07:43,532 --> 00:07:45,568
Well, she missed him,
if that's any-
Ms. Matalin!
198
00:07:45,706 --> 00:07:47,156
Won't you please
tell Mr. Carville
199
00:07:47,294 --> 00:07:49,296
that you know
that staplers are
sharp and heavy items
200
00:07:49,434 --> 00:07:52,057
and it's bad to throw
them at your life
and business partner?
201
00:07:52,195 --> 00:07:53,507
MARY: Never!
202
00:07:53,645 --> 00:07:57,097
Okay. Can you imagine?
I have a PhD.
203
00:07:57,235 --> 00:07:58,443
Mr. Carville?
204
00:07:58,581 --> 00:08:00,065
Shut up, Henry!
205
00:08:00,203 --> 00:08:02,343
The pressure on these people
is unbelievable.
206
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:03,828
I don't know how they-
Ms. Matalin!
207
00:08:03,966 --> 00:08:05,277
Shut up, Henry!
208
00:08:05,415 --> 00:08:08,626
Okay! All right!
Very well.
209
00:08:08,764 --> 00:08:13,700
Why don't we begin
by going over both of
your schedules this morning?
210
00:08:13,838 --> 00:08:15,460
JAMES: Shut up, Henry!
MARY: Shut up, Henry!
211
00:08:15,598 --> 00:08:17,566
Okay. All right.
212
00:08:18,981 --> 00:08:19,982
Okay.
213
00:08:20,638 --> 00:08:21,846
Henry, are you
all right?
214
00:08:22,881 --> 00:08:24,745
Oh, hi, Jamie!
When did you get in?
215
00:08:25,194 --> 00:08:26,195
Henry?
216
00:08:26,333 --> 00:08:28,404
You know, Jamie,
i just realized something.
217
00:08:28,542 --> 00:08:29,474
What's that?
218
00:08:29,612 --> 00:08:32,028
Well, it's-it's
the craziest thing.
219
00:08:32,166 --> 00:08:33,133
What?
220
00:08:33,271 --> 00:08:35,100
Really just
the damnedest thing.
221
00:08:35,238 --> 00:08:36,999
Well, Jamie,
just this minute,
222
00:08:37,137 --> 00:08:39,864
I ran out of, Nice.
223
00:08:40,554 --> 00:08:41,590
I don't understand.
224
00:08:41,728 --> 00:08:43,350
I ran out of nice.
225
00:08:43,488 --> 00:08:46,456
Just now,
I have no, Nice.
226
00:08:46,595 --> 00:08:47,906
Not for these people.
227
00:08:48,044 --> 00:08:49,356
You did not
run out of nice.
228
00:08:49,494 --> 00:08:51,116
You're the nicest
man in the world.
229
00:08:51,254 --> 00:08:53,740
I'm out of nice!
Believe me!
230
00:08:53,878 --> 00:08:55,569
Okay.
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
231
00:08:55,707 --> 00:08:57,122
You know,
maybe I should get-
232
00:08:57,260 --> 00:08:59,400
What is it?
Well, hold on!
233
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:02,542
Pentagon on line three!
Anyone give a crap?
234
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,855
Back off! You look
absurd in that sweater!
235
00:09:05,993 --> 00:09:07,132
What are you laughing at?
236
00:09:07,270 --> 00:09:08,720
Your wife is sleeping
with him!
237
00:09:09,514 --> 00:09:11,620
Ooh. Ooh. Did I come
at a bad time?
238
00:09:12,034 --> 00:09:12,966
Bite me!
239
00:09:13,104 --> 00:09:14,415
All right, sir.
240
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:15,762
What's the matter
with him?
241
00:09:15,900 --> 00:09:16,866
He's out of nice.
242
00:09:17,004 --> 00:09:17,936
Aw, that's a shame.
243
00:09:18,074 --> 00:09:20,732
Yeah. Why are you wet?
244
00:09:20,870 --> 00:09:23,252
I-would you please
take our daughter?
245
00:09:23,390 --> 00:09:25,668
Oh, no, sweetie!
Any day but, today.
246
00:09:25,806 --> 00:09:27,290
As you can see,
we're having
a total meltdown.
247
00:09:27,428 --> 00:09:28,602
No, no, no!
Come on.
248
00:09:28,740 --> 00:09:30,466
But, you promised-why do
i still have the baby here?
249
00:09:30,604 --> 00:09:33,262
So sorry. I will
take her any day
other than today.
250
00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:35,713
Sweetie, this is the perfect
example of the type of day
when I need you to take her!
251
00:09:35,851 --> 00:09:36,886
Okay. Thanks.
252
00:09:37,024 --> 00:09:38,647
Mabel, Mabel.
253
00:09:38,785 --> 00:09:39,924
Peekaboo!
254
00:09:40,062 --> 00:09:41,028
I'm just gonna
make her laugh.
255
00:09:41,166 --> 00:09:42,927
Where's Mabel?
Where'd Mabel go?
256
00:09:43,065 --> 00:09:44,066
There she is!
257
00:09:44,204 --> 00:09:45,136
She knows where she is.
258
00:09:45,274 --> 00:09:46,655
Where's Mabel?
I don't understand.
259
00:09:46,793 --> 00:09:47,725
Don't you know
where you are?
260
00:09:47,863 --> 00:09:49,312
Peekaboo-all right,
forget it.
261
00:09:49,450 --> 00:09:51,383
This is not
a good situation
that we have here.
262
00:09:51,521 --> 00:09:52,453
Really? I know.
263
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:54,663
You're harried,
and I'm squishin'.
264
00:09:54,801 --> 00:09:56,388
All right, squishy,
we'll talk about it
later.
265
00:09:56,526 --> 00:09:57,735
Promise me we're gonna
talk about this tonight.
266
00:09:57,873 --> 00:09:59,460
I promise you.
267
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:01,497
No, no, no!
No, no, no!
268
00:10:01,635 --> 00:10:03,292
The stairs! The stairs!
269
00:10:03,430 --> 00:10:04,707
Why did you
have to kiss me?
270
00:10:09,160 --> 00:10:10,989
JAMIE: Oh, god! Oh, god!
271
00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:13,647
Okay, alright.
272
00:10:13,785 --> 00:10:15,442
Oh, god! Oh, god!
273
00:10:15,580 --> 00:10:17,202
I'll check this floor.
You keep going.
274
00:10:17,340 --> 00:10:18,618
You got the momentum.
275
00:10:22,345 --> 00:10:24,002
Okay.
Outta the way.
276
00:10:24,140 --> 00:10:26,039
Outta the way.
Outta the way.
Here I come.
277
00:10:26,177 --> 00:10:27,178
It stopped on
the next floor down.
278
00:10:27,316 --> 00:10:28,455
Oh, man, what did people
do before elevators
279
00:10:28,593 --> 00:10:30,422
When they lost their kid
in an elevator?
280
00:10:33,874 --> 00:10:35,151
[FRANTIC SHOUTING]
281
00:10:38,361 --> 00:10:39,328
Hi, Sweetie!
282
00:10:39,466 --> 00:10:41,710
Are you okay?
Are you all right?
283
00:10:41,848 --> 00:10:42,780
She's all right.
284
00:10:42,918 --> 00:10:44,782
Oh, god! You all right?
285
00:10:44,920 --> 00:10:46,197
I'm all right.
286
00:10:46,335 --> 00:10:48,406
Am I all right?
You're all right.
287
00:10:48,544 --> 00:10:50,201
So you're sayin'
everybody's all right.
288
00:10:50,339 --> 00:10:52,030
It's okay, sweetie.
Daddy's very sorry.
289
00:10:52,168 --> 00:10:53,169
Hey!
290
00:10:53,307 --> 00:10:54,792
We're both
very sorry.
291
00:11:00,832 --> 00:11:04,698
Okay, everybody, I am back.
Sorry for the delay.
292
00:11:04,836 --> 00:11:06,010
Here we-oh, hey.
How are you doin'?
293
00:11:06,148 --> 00:11:07,597
Hi! Hey, how are you?
294
00:11:07,736 --> 00:11:09,082
I'm fine.
I'm fired, actually.
295
00:11:09,220 --> 00:11:10,600
But, I'm fine.
How are you?
296
00:11:10,739 --> 00:11:11,878
What do you mean,
you're fired?
297
00:11:12,016 --> 00:11:13,362
Yeah. The guy
from the studio,
he came down,
298
00:11:13,500 --> 00:11:15,122
And he told me
he was gonna let me go.
299
00:11:15,260 --> 00:11:17,055
He let me go-that's
a euphemism, isn't it?
300
00:11:17,193 --> 00:11:18,125
Like I'm trying
to go somewhere
301
00:11:18,263 --> 00:11:19,299
And like I'm trying
to rip myself away,
302
00:11:19,437 --> 00:11:21,370
When, in fact, what
they're saying is go
303
00:11:21,508 --> 00:11:23,406
and don't let the creole
hit you in the ass
on the way out,
304
00:11:23,544 --> 00:11:24,649
and the next time
a director asks you
305
00:11:24,787 --> 00:11:26,340
to take care of his baby
because he's unable to,
306
00:11:26,478 --> 00:11:27,445
don't forget
to turn the burner off.
307
00:11:28,239 --> 00:11:31,276
Oh! I- I feel terrible
about that!
308
00:11:31,414 --> 00:11:32,968
Don't you worry
about a thing.
309
00:11:33,106 --> 00:11:35,349
I don't even know why
I wanted this job
in the first place.
310
00:11:35,487 --> 00:11:38,076
I didn't even
really like the job-
oh, that's right.
311
00:11:38,214 --> 00:11:39,284
The money,
I needed the money
312
00:11:40,078 --> 00:11:42,011
to pay rent and to live
and to eat,
313
00:11:42,149 --> 00:11:45,394
But, other than that,
I don't think I really
needed it, but, thanks.
314
00:11:45,532 --> 00:11:47,396
I'm so sorry
that happened.
315
00:11:47,534 --> 00:11:48,915
Don't worry about it.
316
00:11:49,053 --> 00:11:50,019
Hey,
I have some leftovers.
Do you want anything?
317
00:11:50,157 --> 00:11:52,712
I have, like,
smoked almonds
or, Snapple,
318
00:11:52,850 --> 00:11:53,782
Or, spray cheese,
anything like that?
319
00:11:53,920 --> 00:11:55,266
Really, not.
I'm so sorry.
320
00:11:55,404 --> 00:11:57,682
Creamer? Tic tacs?
No? Nothing? Eggs?
321
00:11:57,820 --> 00:12:00,443
No, really. I wish you
the best of luck.
322
00:12:00,581 --> 00:12:01,548
If you ever
need a reference-
323
00:12:01,686 --> 00:12:02,652
Fiddle faddle?
324
00:12:02,791 --> 00:12:05,000
No. I couldn't
be more sorry.
325
00:12:05,138 --> 00:12:08,003
Mr. Buchman, I do have that
periodontal appointment.
326
00:12:08,141 --> 00:12:09,073
Yes, okay.
327
00:12:09,211 --> 00:12:11,592
Again, I am
so, so, so sorry.
328
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:16,114
Okay, sweetie,
let's Mabel and daddy
go make a documentary
329
00:12:16,252 --> 00:12:18,047
So sorry
that happened to you.
330
00:12:18,185 --> 00:12:21,050
All right, everybody,
back to position.
Let's roll cameras
331
00:12:21,188 --> 00:12:23,501
All right.
Sorry for the delay.
332
00:12:23,639 --> 00:12:24,916
It's just been
a little crazy here.
333
00:12:25,054 --> 00:12:27,194
We're shorthanded,
so I,
334
00:12:27,332 --> 00:12:31,060
Okay. So, you were
the editor of the film,
335
00:12:31,198 --> 00:12:32,821
The making of
Titanic.
336
00:12:32,959 --> 00:12:36,790
Without which,
our film, The Making of the Making of Titanic,
337
00:12:36,928 --> 00:12:38,619
Would just be
the making of Titanic,
338
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:39,966
And I'd feel just
a little less stupid
right now.
339
00:12:41,588 --> 00:12:43,072
It's very nice
to be here.
340
00:12:43,210 --> 00:12:46,110
Good. Now, I understand
you have some outtakes
that you
341
00:12:46,248 --> 00:12:48,802
of actual film
with James Cameron
the director
342
00:12:48,940 --> 00:12:50,562
That you chose
not to use in
The making of Titanic.
343
00:12:50,700 --> 00:12:51,701
Yes.
344
00:12:51,840 --> 00:12:53,807
Well, that's
pretty exciting, huh?
345
00:12:53,945 --> 00:12:54,877
Yes.
346
00:12:55,015 --> 00:12:56,430
Let's take a look.
347
00:13:00,503 --> 00:13:01,850
[WHISTLING]
348
00:13:22,732 --> 00:13:23,733
What the hell is this?
349
00:13:34,158 --> 00:13:37,230
Aaah! Aaah! Aah!
350
00:13:38,024 --> 00:13:38,990
Wowie.
351
00:13:39,128 --> 00:13:41,027
You know, we shot
some much better stuff.
352
00:13:41,165 --> 00:13:42,131
Well, let's see that.
353
00:13:42,269 --> 00:13:43,926
We used it already.
354
00:13:44,064 --> 00:13:45,790
It's in
the making
of Titanic.
355
00:13:45,928 --> 00:13:47,205
You used
the good stuff, sure.
356
00:13:47,343 --> 00:13:48,344
Here's something.
357
00:13:48,482 --> 00:13:49,863
So, my very first idea,
358
00:13:50,001 --> 00:13:51,520
the initial conception
of the film,
359
00:13:51,658 --> 00:13:52,728
Was to use footage-
Jim?
360
00:13:52,866 --> 00:13:54,626
Sorry. We're ordering lunch. What would you like?
361
00:13:54,764 --> 00:13:56,905
Yeah, Um,
362
00:13:57,871 --> 00:13:59,114
You know? I'll have
the chopped salad.
363
00:13:59,252 --> 00:14:00,253
Okay.
364
00:14:00,391 --> 00:14:01,702
No. You know what?
365
00:14:02,289 --> 00:14:04,188
Maybe a sandwich.
366
00:14:04,326 --> 00:14:06,052
I'm gonna do
the tuna sandwich,
no mayo.
367
00:14:06,190 --> 00:14:07,260
Okay. Great.
368
00:14:07,398 --> 00:14:08,848
No. You know what?
You know what?
369
00:14:08,986 --> 00:14:10,677
Let's go back.
Chopped salad.
370
00:14:10,815 --> 00:14:13,059
If they have tomatoes,
that would be great.
371
00:14:13,197 --> 00:14:14,405
[MABEL CRIES]
372
00:14:14,543 --> 00:14:15,924
Oh, okay. Shh, shh, shh.
373
00:14:16,062 --> 00:14:17,684
Uh, the other actors-
374
00:14:17,822 --> 00:14:20,756
you get any little pieces
of Leonardo or, Kate or,
375
00:14:20,894 --> 00:14:22,482
Even Billy Zane,
I would take that.
376
00:14:22,620 --> 00:14:25,416
No, um,
but, h-here's something.
377
00:14:25,554 --> 00:14:27,832
And what about
that part when he goes,
378
00:14:27,970 --> 00:14:29,144
"Shagilicious, baby".
379
00:14:29,282 --> 00:14:31,560
What was it-"yeah,
baby, shagilicious."
380
00:14:31,698 --> 00:14:34,149
That was great.
I love that part.
381
00:14:38,049 --> 00:14:40,293
You chose not to use
this in your film,
you're saying.
382
00:14:40,431 --> 00:14:42,536
We didn't think America
would be interested.
383
00:14:43,952 --> 00:14:45,298
Watch me
put it to good use.
384
00:14:47,024 --> 00:14:49,336
Okay. Shh, shh, shh.
All right.
385
00:14:49,474 --> 00:14:50,959
You know what?
Let's just cut, gang.
386
00:14:51,097 --> 00:14:52,443
[BELL RINGS]
Okay, all right.
387
00:14:52,753 --> 00:14:53,685
May I?
388
00:14:53,823 --> 00:14:54,928
Huh? Yeah, please.
389
00:14:55,066 --> 00:14:57,655
Hey. Hello, little lady.
390
00:14:57,793 --> 00:14:59,381
Do you know what
you were doing?
391
00:14:59,519 --> 00:15:02,798
You were single-handedly
ruining
392
00:15:02,936 --> 00:15:04,834
The making
of the making
of Titanic.
393
00:15:04,973 --> 00:15:06,629
Now, you keep causing
a scandal like that,
394
00:15:06,767 --> 00:15:08,390
they're gonna
have to make
395
00:15:08,528 --> 00:15:10,495
The making of
the making of
the making of Titanic.
396
00:15:10,633 --> 00:15:12,842
You don't want
to be responsible
for that, do you?
397
00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:15,224
No, you don't.
398
00:15:15,362 --> 00:15:18,503
That's, I'm taking you
home with me.
399
00:15:18,641 --> 00:15:19,642
Excuse me?
400
00:15:19,780 --> 00:15:21,196
I got a proposition
for you.
401
00:15:21,334 --> 00:15:22,783
Excuse me?
No! All good!
All good!
402
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:28,686
Just don't use
the word "nanny."
403
00:15:28,824 --> 00:15:29,790
No! Okay.
404
00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:30,895
Yeah, 'cause when
you think of a nanny,
405
00:15:31,033 --> 00:15:32,552
you think of an old
Ukrainian woman
406
00:15:32,690 --> 00:15:35,003
who wears her hair in a bun
and hasn't had a bath
since thanksgiving.
407
00:15:35,141 --> 00:15:36,073
Sure.
408
00:15:36,211 --> 00:15:37,143
Russian thanksgiving,
409
00:15:37,281 --> 00:15:39,352
Which is in,
Well, a long time ago.
410
00:15:39,490 --> 00:15:40,594
Yeah, okay.
Forget that.
411
00:15:40,732 --> 00:15:42,182
Either that, or, you
think of Mary Poppins.
412
00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:43,597
Is that what
you're looking for,
like, a Mary Poppins.
413
00:15:43,735 --> 00:15:44,840
No, not at all!
414
00:15:44,978 --> 00:15:46,635
I kind of wanted
to be Mary Poppins.
415
00:15:46,773 --> 00:15:48,326
Then you can!
You can be Mary Poppins.
416
00:15:48,464 --> 00:15:49,396
We'll get you
a nice, big umbrella.
417
00:15:49,534 --> 00:15:50,880
You can stand
on a fake roof
418
00:15:51,019 --> 00:15:52,192
and sing
with dick van Dyke.
Would you like that?
419
00:15:52,330 --> 00:15:54,815
Whatever you do,
just keep doing that.
420
00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:56,058
What?
421
00:15:56,196 --> 00:15:58,509
Just, Taking care of
my daughter like that.
422
00:15:58,647 --> 00:16:01,236
Oh-you know,
I am a chef by trade.
423
00:16:01,374 --> 00:16:02,582
Yes. No.
Of course you are!
424
00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:05,412
Yeah. I mean, I was a star
at the culinary institute.
425
00:16:05,550 --> 00:16:06,517
No. I know that.
426
00:16:06,655 --> 00:16:08,139
Until I made gumbo one day,
427
00:16:08,277 --> 00:16:09,796
and I blew the porch off
the back of the building.
428
00:16:11,108 --> 00:16:13,213
They told me that
I had genius in my ladle.
429
00:16:15,836 --> 00:16:16,941
And I'll betcha
they meant it, too.
430
00:16:17,079 --> 00:16:18,391
Although,
I am broke.
431
00:16:18,529 --> 00:16:19,495
Sure.
432
00:16:19,633 --> 00:16:20,703
Yeah, 'cause I got
fired from that job
433
00:16:20,841 --> 00:16:22,671
working on the film,
where I was getting paid.
434
00:16:22,809 --> 00:16:24,466
Yes. I was there.
I remember.
435
00:16:24,604 --> 00:16:27,641
And she is the most
adorable child I've ever
seen in my life.
436
00:16:29,126 --> 00:16:30,368
Oh! Could you take her
in the bedroom?
437
00:16:30,506 --> 00:16:33,164
Sure. And look at
her little tongue.
438
00:16:33,302 --> 00:16:34,407
Take the little tongue
into the bedroom.
The fingernails!
439
00:16:34,545 --> 00:16:36,409
In the bedroom.
The ears!
440
00:16:36,547 --> 00:16:37,893
Take the ears
in the bedroom-
441
00:16:38,618 --> 00:16:39,653
Hi.
Hi!
442
00:16:39,791 --> 00:16:40,792
How was the rest
of your day?
443
00:16:40,930 --> 00:16:42,691
Well, Henry Vincent
finally called.
444
00:16:42,829 --> 00:16:43,761
That's good!
445
00:16:43,899 --> 00:16:45,314
Yeah. From Juarez, Mexico.
446
00:16:45,452 --> 00:16:46,522
That's not good.
447
00:16:46,660 --> 00:16:48,007
And how was the rest
448
00:16:48,145 --> 00:16:49,560
of the Making of the Making of the Making,
449
00:16:49,698 --> 00:16:51,907
Shouldn't be making it,
I'll tell ya that.
450
00:16:52,045 --> 00:16:54,220
Listen, we really gotta
talk about the reality
451
00:16:54,358 --> 00:16:55,842
of our little
situation here.
452
00:16:55,980 --> 00:16:57,223
I think it's time
we bring somebody in-
453
00:16:57,361 --> 00:16:58,810
please don't use
the word "nanny."
454
00:16:58,948 --> 00:17:00,329
Oh, believe me.
I'm not-
455
00:17:00,467 --> 00:17:03,022
What is wrong with us?
We can't raise our child
by ourselves?
456
00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:04,747
Sweetie,
this afternoon we almost
shipped our daughter
457
00:17:04,885 --> 00:17:06,232
down to the lower lobby.
458
00:17:06,370 --> 00:17:07,509
I still don't think-
459
00:17:07,647 --> 00:17:08,820
Look, we have to get
somebody in here.
460
00:17:08,958 --> 00:17:10,339
I don't want
to not get somebody
461
00:17:10,477 --> 00:17:11,858
just so we can feel
like we're better parents
462
00:17:11,996 --> 00:17:13,204
'cause we don't
have somebody.
463
00:17:13,342 --> 00:17:14,343
No. You're right.
You're right.
464
00:17:14,481 --> 00:17:15,931
We should act now,
instead of waiting
465
00:17:16,069 --> 00:17:19,107
till we accidentally
mail her off to Bolivia
or, something.
466
00:17:19,245 --> 00:17:22,110
Do you know how hard
it is to find
the right person?
467
00:17:22,248 --> 00:17:24,353
I mean, my god, we have
to look at resumes.
468
00:17:24,491 --> 00:17:26,010
We have to make sure
the person's qualified.
469
00:17:26,148 --> 00:17:27,494
What if Mabel
doesn't like her?
470
00:17:27,632 --> 00:17:28,806
It could take us
months and months-
471
00:17:30,980 --> 00:17:32,085
Hello.
472
00:17:32,223 --> 00:17:34,467
This is Nancy Bloom.
473
00:17:34,605 --> 00:17:36,124
Nancy, this is
my wife Jamie.
474
00:17:36,262 --> 00:17:37,194
Hi.
Hi.
475
00:17:37,332 --> 00:17:38,540
Hi, there.
476
00:17:38,678 --> 00:17:40,818
Sweetie, Nancy's somebody
that I think we should
477
00:17:40,956 --> 00:17:43,269
Really, seriously
consider to be our nan-
478
00:17:43,407 --> 00:17:45,029
Uh, child-rearing helper.
479
00:17:45,167 --> 00:17:46,099
No.
480
00:17:46,237 --> 00:17:47,411
Our child
specialist surrogate.
481
00:17:47,549 --> 00:17:49,689
Our person
of baby helping.
482
00:17:49,827 --> 00:17:51,070
Our infant-monitoring-
No.
483
00:17:51,208 --> 00:17:52,657
Our specialist- our baby-
No.
484
00:17:52,795 --> 00:17:54,556
Whatever it is,
i think she's very good.
485
00:17:54,694 --> 00:17:57,214
May I ask
your qualifications
for the job?
486
00:17:57,352 --> 00:18:00,527
I was a cook and, uh,
a little mistake-prone.
487
00:18:00,665 --> 00:18:01,632
I see.
488
00:18:01,770 --> 00:18:03,530
I, uh, started
a few fires.
489
00:18:03,668 --> 00:18:05,429
Oh. Hey, we should
hire her right up.
490
00:18:05,567 --> 00:18:07,258
Uh, yeah.
Excuse us one second.
491
00:18:07,396 --> 00:18:08,535
I have a really strong-
I can't hear.
492
00:18:08,673 --> 00:18:10,019
Hang on one second.
493
00:18:10,158 --> 00:18:11,538
When you're facing
that-I can't-
494
00:18:11,676 --> 00:18:13,540
Okay. Here's the thing,
sweetie.
495
00:18:13,678 --> 00:18:15,370
I have a gut instinct
about Nancy,
496
00:18:15,508 --> 00:18:17,268
and I really hope
you just trust that.
497
00:18:18,062 --> 00:18:19,443
I'm sure you're wonderful.
498
00:18:19,581 --> 00:18:22,239
Of course I trust
your instincts.
499
00:18:22,377 --> 00:18:23,412
It's just, I don't
think you should-
500
00:18:23,550 --> 00:18:24,586
Thank you very much.
501
00:18:24,724 --> 00:18:26,450
I don't think you should
go offering your child
502
00:18:26,588 --> 00:18:29,038
to a stranger just because
you have a gut feeling.
503
00:18:29,177 --> 00:18:30,109
I think that's crazy.
504
00:18:30,247 --> 00:18:31,179
I think she's hungry.
505
00:18:31,317 --> 00:18:33,008
You're absolutely right.
She is hungry.
506
00:18:33,146 --> 00:18:35,562
I have applesauce
right here in my bag.
507
00:18:35,700 --> 00:18:38,082
I mean it has to be
more scientific
than that.
508
00:18:38,220 --> 00:18:39,394
Who wants some food?
509
00:18:39,532 --> 00:18:41,499
Who's the hungriest girl
in the whole,
wide world?
510
00:18:41,637 --> 00:18:42,776
I'm not arguing with that.
511
00:18:42,914 --> 00:18:44,192
Are we just gonna
go off half-cocked?
512
00:18:44,330 --> 00:18:45,641
White spoon?
Yes, exactly.
513
00:18:45,779 --> 00:18:46,987
The couch is good,
right?
514
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:48,161
She loves to eat
on the couch.
515
00:18:48,299 --> 00:18:49,749
How do you feel
about some applesauce?
516
00:18:49,887 --> 00:18:51,164
Honey, we're gonna
have to sit down
517
00:18:51,302 --> 00:18:52,338
And find some
qualified candidates.
518
00:18:52,476 --> 00:18:53,684
I know, I know-
519
00:18:53,822 --> 00:18:55,064
Oh, my god.
520
00:18:55,203 --> 00:18:56,514
And then maybe,
if we're lucky,
we'll find somebody.
521
00:18:56,652 --> 00:18:58,758
Oh, this isn't
applesauce at all.
522
00:18:58,896 --> 00:18:59,828
I think--
523
00:18:59,966 --> 00:19:00,898
Why, it's bourbon.
524
00:19:01,036 --> 00:19:02,624
[MABEL LAUGHS]
525
00:19:07,456 --> 00:19:08,837
Okay. How did you do that?
526
00:19:08,975 --> 00:19:09,941
What?
527
00:19:10,079 --> 00:19:11,702
She probably
just got the joke
528
00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:13,013
about the rabbi
and the priest.
529
00:19:22,989 --> 00:19:25,371
Tell you what, we gotta
do something about these
sleeping arrangements, huh?
530
00:19:25,750 --> 00:19:27,200
[LAUGHING]
531
00:19:27,338 --> 00:19:29,098
You are a great audience,
you know that?
532
00:19:30,238 --> 00:19:31,308
Here they come again.
533
00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:55,539
How about
giving it a rest.
534
00:19:55,677 --> 00:19:56,850
Okay!
So sorry!
535
00:20:10,278 --> 00:20:12,245
[SNORING]
536
00:20:16,007 --> 00:20:17,008
Uh,
537
00:20:17,664 --> 00:20:18,769
Sir?
538
00:20:26,363 --> 00:20:27,743
Okay. I'll just,
539
00:22:40,773 --> 00:22:41,946
[SNORING]
540
00:22:46,365 --> 00:22:47,366
Uh,
541
00:22:47,952 --> 00:22:49,091
Sir?
542
00:22:56,961 --> 00:22:58,066
Okay. I'll just,
38240
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