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1
00:00:09,083 --> 00:00:10,311
Hey, Calvin.
2
00:00:10,336 --> 00:00:11,526
Hola, mi amor.
3
00:00:11,570 --> 00:00:14,173
Guess what I'm making.
4
00:00:14,246 --> 00:00:16,265
Paella.
5
00:00:16,556 --> 00:00:20,895
Yes, the authentic recipe
we learned in "Barthelona."
6
00:00:21,728 --> 00:00:25,162
Well, you know, you could say
Barcelona like an American.
7
00:00:25,187 --> 00:00:27,329
No, I like saying "Barthelona"
8
00:00:27,354 --> 00:00:28,944
like a "Barthelonian."
9
00:00:28,969 --> 00:00:33,208
You know, Calvin, you don't
have to make paella every day.
10
00:00:33,233 --> 00:00:36,570
I still haven't finished
my lunch paella.
11
00:00:39,136 --> 00:00:41,338
Hey, you must have had a busy day.
12
00:00:41,363 --> 00:00:43,465
Yeah, let's go with that.
13
00:00:45,585 --> 00:00:48,022
And speaking of getting busy,
14
00:00:48,122 --> 00:00:51,758
you know, we haven't done
that since this morning.
15
00:00:53,160 --> 00:00:55,107
Calvin, where's my favorite mug?
16
00:00:55,132 --> 00:00:57,235
Oh, I, uh, I threw it out.
17
00:00:57,731 --> 00:01:00,970
Yeah, I was watching
Jennifer Hudson this afternoon,
18
00:01:00,995 --> 00:01:02,631
and the feng shui expert said that
19
00:01:02,656 --> 00:01:05,680
you should replace any
chipped or broken item.
20
00:01:05,705 --> 00:01:07,774
But my mug wasn't chipped.
21
00:01:07,942 --> 00:01:11,311
Well, I broke it when I was
trying to feng shui the kitchen.
22
00:01:12,992 --> 00:01:14,561
Oh, by the way,
23
00:01:14,586 --> 00:01:17,253
Magnum, P.I. thinks we should
get a reverse mortgage.
24
00:01:17,278 --> 00:01:18,745
What you think?
25
00:01:21,288 --> 00:01:23,928
Okay, Calvin, I know that you've had
26
00:01:23,953 --> 00:01:27,451
a lot of time on your hands
since selling the shop, but...
27
00:01:27,476 --> 00:01:30,964
you got to stop watching daytime TV.
28
00:01:30,965 --> 00:01:33,928
How about you just get out the house?
29
00:01:33,953 --> 00:01:35,244
Do something.
30
00:01:35,269 --> 00:01:39,248
Babe, I'm doing things.
I got plenty of stuff to do.
31
00:01:39,273 --> 00:01:41,308
My schedule is jam-packed.
32
00:01:41,408 --> 00:01:44,811
Alexa, what's on my calendar tomorrow?
33
00:01:44,979 --> 00:01:47,514
At 03:00 p.m., you have a haircut.
34
00:01:47,614 --> 00:01:50,142
Hmm? Didn't you get a haircut yesterday?
35
00:01:50,167 --> 00:01:53,338
Yes, Tina. I'm a very hairy man.
36
00:01:55,189 --> 00:01:58,125
Well, how about you
go out and play some golf?
37
00:01:58,746 --> 00:02:01,132
Well, all my friends work.
38
00:02:02,529 --> 00:02:04,334
Are you trying to get rid of me?
39
00:02:04,359 --> 00:02:06,641
No, no, no, baby. I just...
40
00:02:06,666 --> 00:02:08,302
I don't think it's very healthy
41
00:02:08,402 --> 00:02:13,007
for a man to stay at home all day,
or his wife might kill him.
42
00:02:13,107 --> 00:02:16,963
Oh! I just watched
a Lifetime movie about that.
43
00:02:16,988 --> 00:02:18,590
You know, the lady
got away with it, too.
44
00:02:21,598 --> 00:02:24,926
- Synced and corrected by synk -
- www.addic7ed.com -
45
00:02:27,653 --> 00:02:28,906
Okay.
46
00:02:28,931 --> 00:02:31,243
Oh, Tina, we can't take all your paella.
47
00:02:31,244 --> 00:02:34,380
Please take it.
It'll really help my marriage.
48
00:02:35,106 --> 00:02:37,377
Ooh, look, Dave wants some.
He's drooling.
49
00:02:37,402 --> 00:02:39,504
Nah, it's from the dentist.
50
00:02:39,604 --> 00:02:41,173
I'm still numb.
51
00:02:43,275 --> 00:02:45,210
Here, sweetie, clean yourself up.
52
00:02:47,044 --> 00:02:50,815
So, has it been hard for Calvin
having all this free time?
53
00:02:50,915 --> 00:02:53,585
Hard for me. He's driving me crazy.
54
00:02:53,685 --> 00:02:54,952
He's always here.
55
00:02:55,052 --> 00:02:58,990
He watches my shows before I do
and then spoils the endings.
56
00:02:59,090 --> 00:03:00,792
You know, I finally
just sent him to Ernie's bar
57
00:03:00,892 --> 00:03:02,338
to give away some of this paella.
58
00:03:02,363 --> 00:03:04,600
And there's this much left?
59
00:03:05,630 --> 00:03:07,031
You feel my pain.
60
00:03:07,056 --> 00:03:08,780
Ooh.
61
00:03:09,434 --> 00:03:11,536
Mama! Oh. Hey, guys.
62
00:03:11,636 --> 00:03:14,227
- Hey.
- Did a box come for me today?
63
00:03:14,252 --> 00:03:15,419
Oh, yeah, it's right over there.
64
00:03:15,444 --> 00:03:17,684
Um, why did you have it sent here?
65
00:03:17,709 --> 00:03:19,594
I didn't want Malcolm to see it.
66
00:03:19,619 --> 00:03:22,489
It's a longsword
for my Arthurian groom-posal.
67
00:03:22,514 --> 00:03:24,316
It's a what for the what what?
68
00:03:27,118 --> 00:03:29,133
I'm gonna ask Malcolm to be my best man.
69
00:03:29,158 --> 00:03:30,960
And then slay him?
70
00:03:31,789 --> 00:03:34,359
Marty's doing a grooms-posal.
71
00:03:34,459 --> 00:03:36,794
They're like prom-posals,
but for your groomsmen.
72
00:03:36,894 --> 00:03:38,763
Yeah, back when I did mine,
73
00:03:38,863 --> 00:03:40,765
society thought
they were only for bridesmaids.
74
00:03:41,699 --> 00:03:44,236
Then I rode into my friend Bobby's yard
75
00:03:44,336 --> 00:03:46,804
on that horse, shirtless.
76
00:03:48,072 --> 00:03:52,277
I broke barriers
for groomsmen everywhere.
77
00:03:53,345 --> 00:03:54,379
I'm...
78
00:03:54,479 --> 00:03:56,814
I'm-I'm gonna go "shirt on."
79
00:03:57,582 --> 00:04:00,418
But I do want Malcolm to be blown away.
80
00:04:00,518 --> 00:04:03,621
So, uh, Marty, got all your
groomsmen picked out already?
81
00:04:03,721 --> 00:04:07,792
Yeah. Yeah.
Well, i... It's only four of us.
82
00:04:07,892 --> 00:04:10,339
It's Malcolm, my two
best friends from college,
83
00:04:10,364 --> 00:04:12,599
and my play cousin Daniel.
84
00:04:13,097 --> 00:04:14,499
S-So he's not even
85
00:04:14,599 --> 00:04:15,767
- a real cousin, huh?
- David...
86
00:04:15,867 --> 00:04:17,902
Dave, let it go.
You're not in the wedding.
87
00:04:18,002 --> 00:04:19,937
Stop being so thirsty.
88
00:04:25,277 --> 00:04:29,514
Oh, shoot. Ernie's killing it
at cornhole. He's undefeated.
89
00:04:29,614 --> 00:04:31,282
Hey, Calvin,
90
00:04:31,283 --> 00:04:33,951
do you want me to embarrass
you next or should I
91
00:04:33,976 --> 00:04:36,013
crush Trey as a warm-up?
92
00:04:36,038 --> 00:04:38,265
Also, no outside food.
93
00:04:38,290 --> 00:04:39,290
Oh.
94
00:04:39,291 --> 00:04:41,659
It's paella. I brought you some.
95
00:04:41,759 --> 00:04:43,828
Oh, don't mind if I do.
96
00:04:43,928 --> 00:04:46,531
Winning burns a lot of calories.
97
00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:50,502
Ernie, I haven't seen
you lose in a week.
98
00:04:50,602 --> 00:04:51,669
You juicing?
99
00:04:51,769 --> 00:04:54,038
Nah. No, man. No, no, no.
100
00:04:54,138 --> 00:04:55,473
I'm just the best holder
101
00:04:55,573 --> 00:04:58,310
anyone's seen this side of the 405.
102
00:04:58,410 --> 00:04:59,944
Probably the other side, too.
103
00:05:00,044 --> 00:05:02,013
There's just
too much traffic to be sure.
104
00:05:03,774 --> 00:05:07,145
You bragging about
throwing beanbags in a hole?
105
00:05:12,710 --> 00:05:14,912
Sound like somebody's scared.
106
00:05:15,012 --> 00:05:18,216
Ooh, I'm terrified.
107
00:05:18,335 --> 00:05:20,316
What's the next challenge... Hopscotch?
108
00:05:20,317 --> 00:05:22,552
Or maybe Candy Land?
109
00:05:22,652 --> 00:05:25,089
Calvin, just whup his ass
and shut him up.
110
00:05:25,114 --> 00:05:26,140
Man. Hey.
111
00:05:26,165 --> 00:05:27,866
I-It's ridiculous, man.
112
00:05:27,891 --> 00:05:31,228
This requires no skills.
I mean, anybody could do it.
113
00:05:31,328 --> 00:05:32,896
Watch.
114
00:05:36,566 --> 00:05:37,734
Ha-ha!
115
00:05:37,834 --> 00:05:39,603
Reminds me of the time
we played mini-golf
116
00:05:39,703 --> 00:05:41,271
and you hit that old lady.
117
00:05:42,039 --> 00:05:45,342
It was a bank shot off her walker.
I still made par.
118
00:05:45,442 --> 00:05:46,843
Ah.
119
00:05:49,013 --> 00:05:50,580
Okay.
120
00:05:52,022 --> 00:05:53,456
Oh. Oh, yeah.
121
00:05:53,550 --> 00:05:55,419
Close, close, but no cigar.
122
00:05:55,519 --> 00:05:59,023
All right, this ain't over.
All right, here we go.
123
00:06:03,161 --> 00:06:04,461
Yeah!
124
00:06:04,561 --> 00:06:05,795
Oh!
125
00:06:05,895 --> 00:06:08,232
Boom, baby! In your face!
126
00:06:09,599 --> 00:06:11,435
Okay, Calvin. All right.
127
00:06:11,535 --> 00:06:13,637
If you feeling so cocky,
128
00:06:13,662 --> 00:06:15,455
then why don't you
play in the tournament?
129
00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:16,848
Mm, nah, I'm good.
130
00:06:16,873 --> 00:06:19,609
Uh-huh. Uh, I-I forgot... You retired.
131
00:06:19,709 --> 00:06:23,613
You too busy sitting on the front porch
in a rocking chair.
132
00:06:23,713 --> 00:06:25,849
Ooh!
133
00:06:27,288 --> 00:06:29,824
You know what? I'm in.
134
00:06:29,924 --> 00:06:32,927
And for your information, it's a glider!
135
00:06:34,242 --> 00:06:36,284
All right. Well, good luck, Calvin.
136
00:06:36,285 --> 00:06:40,048
Good luck. Oh, did you see
the gallery of champions?
137
00:06:40,049 --> 00:06:42,217
They all look a lot like me, don't they?
138
00:06:44,286 --> 00:06:47,389
You know, I forget about
the year you had the toupee.
139
00:06:47,475 --> 00:06:50,378
It's called a hair unit.
140
00:06:55,797 --> 00:06:57,432
Hold on.
141
00:07:00,448 --> 00:07:01,916
Oh, my God!
142
00:07:07,142 --> 00:07:08,943
Marty, what is going on?
143
00:07:09,085 --> 00:07:12,221
Malcolm Langston Butler,
first of his name,
144
00:07:12,562 --> 00:07:15,813
you are hereby commanded to pull
145
00:07:15,838 --> 00:07:17,642
the sword from yon stone.
146
00:07:17,667 --> 00:07:21,738
Only the true best man
can such a feat achieve.
147
00:07:24,494 --> 00:07:25,662
What?
148
00:07:26,088 --> 00:07:29,459
If thou wouldst be the best man,
149
00:07:29,546 --> 00:07:33,115
thou must pull the very
expensive custom-engraved sword
150
00:07:33,215 --> 00:07:35,518
from yonder stone.
151
00:07:35,618 --> 00:07:39,355
Okay, Marty, obviously
I am going to be your best man.
152
00:07:39,356 --> 00:07:42,058
Uh, did you say "wouldst"?
What does that even mean?
153
00:07:42,158 --> 00:07:44,093
I don't know, man.
Can you just play along?
154
00:07:44,193 --> 00:07:45,595
No, I said I'm in, Marty, okay?
155
00:07:45,707 --> 00:07:47,409
I-I'm doing all the best man stuff.
156
00:07:47,497 --> 00:07:49,365
I went to the cake tasting,
we went soup shopping.
157
00:07:49,366 --> 00:07:51,368
Okay, if-if you're not into this,
158
00:07:51,468 --> 00:07:53,069
maybe I'll ask somebody else.
159
00:07:53,547 --> 00:07:55,271
Marty, I'm your only brother.
160
00:07:55,372 --> 00:07:57,640
Who else would you ask
to be your best man?
161
00:07:57,665 --> 00:07:59,142
Derek.
162
00:07:59,891 --> 00:08:02,712
Derek? Derek has no personality.
163
00:08:02,812 --> 00:08:04,280
He's a board game friend.
164
00:08:04,381 --> 00:08:06,215
You have to be distracted
just to hang out with him.
165
00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:08,668
Well, Derek would have pulled the sword
from the stone by now, man.
166
00:08:08,693 --> 00:08:10,562
Well, 'cause Derek is a dork!
167
00:08:10,587 --> 00:08:13,389
Great. You tell him that to his face
168
00:08:13,390 --> 00:08:14,908
when he takes your role as the best man.
169
00:08:14,933 --> 00:08:15,950
Wha...
170
00:08:15,975 --> 00:08:17,310
From the shadows you come
171
00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:21,197
and to the shadows I bid you return.
172
00:08:25,568 --> 00:08:27,837
Almost had it.
173
00:08:29,406 --> 00:08:32,074
Don't flatter yourself.
You weren't even close.
174
00:08:32,174 --> 00:08:33,710
You're pulling your left shoulder.
175
00:08:33,810 --> 00:08:35,244
Thanks a lot, Gemma.
176
00:08:35,412 --> 00:08:36,979
But a lot of those bags went in the hole
177
00:08:37,079 --> 00:08:40,850
before you broke my concentration
by sneaking up on me.
178
00:08:42,251 --> 00:08:45,221
Okay, you want to keep missing,
keep doing it your way.
179
00:08:45,321 --> 00:08:49,091
Or you could square up a bit
and add a little arc to your toss,
180
00:08:49,191 --> 00:08:50,493
like this.
181
00:08:53,430 --> 00:08:55,732
Damn, woman, you can hole.
182
00:08:55,832 --> 00:08:57,299
Where'd you learn to play like that?
183
00:08:57,324 --> 00:08:59,359
There wasn't a lot to do
in Hickory Corners.
184
00:08:59,569 --> 00:09:02,438
All we had was corn.
Either you ate it or you threw it.
185
00:09:02,439 --> 00:09:03,806
Or the crows got it.
186
00:09:03,906 --> 00:09:06,543
On a bad day, all three could happen.
187
00:09:07,309 --> 00:09:09,912
So, you used to play with corn?
188
00:09:10,012 --> 00:09:11,347
Did you not have Barbie dolls?
189
00:09:11,448 --> 00:09:12,749
Crows got 'em.
190
00:09:14,717 --> 00:09:16,453
That's why I became so good at cornhole.
191
00:09:16,478 --> 00:09:19,196
Uh, w-wait, wait.
I want to learn how to play.
192
00:09:19,336 --> 00:09:21,404
Cornhole isn't something you learn.
193
00:09:21,624 --> 00:09:23,493
It's something you become.
194
00:09:23,580 --> 00:09:27,400
When I holed,
I gave myself fully to the game.
195
00:09:27,401 --> 00:09:29,072
I'd expect you to do the same.
196
00:09:29,073 --> 00:09:30,548
- I'm ready.
- No.
197
00:09:30,549 --> 00:09:32,416
No, you're not.
198
00:09:33,924 --> 00:09:35,272
But you will be.
199
00:09:35,569 --> 00:09:38,541
Forget everything you think
you know about cornhole.
200
00:09:38,641 --> 00:09:40,604
I literally know nothing.
201
00:09:41,186 --> 00:09:44,480
Raw clay. I like it.
202
00:09:50,621 --> 00:09:51,856
Derek?
203
00:09:51,957 --> 00:09:54,759
- Derek is gonna be your best man?
- Yes, Mom.
204
00:09:54,966 --> 00:09:58,148
Help me remember...
Did I carry Derek in my womb?
205
00:09:59,297 --> 00:10:01,166
I think you know you did not.
206
00:10:01,266 --> 00:10:03,935
Then Derek should not be your best man.
207
00:10:04,041 --> 00:10:05,542
Calvin, back me up.
208
00:10:06,002 --> 00:10:07,937
Listen to your mama, boy.
209
00:10:08,439 --> 00:10:10,675
Ooh! Four in a row!
210
00:10:11,495 --> 00:10:13,097
Calvin!
211
00:10:13,478 --> 00:10:16,612
What? I'm folding the laundry.
Thanks for noticing.
212
00:10:17,048 --> 00:10:20,618
Stop playing games and help me
talk some sense into this boy.
213
00:10:20,738 --> 00:10:24,342
Uh, Marty, if you want your
brother to be your best man,
214
00:10:24,422 --> 00:10:26,757
you should ask him like a normal person.
215
00:10:26,782 --> 00:10:28,101
I'm sure he'll say yes.
216
00:10:28,126 --> 00:10:29,660
Well, he did say yes.
217
00:10:29,685 --> 00:10:33,189
That's not the point, Daddy.
He disrespected my process.
218
00:10:34,399 --> 00:10:37,502
Listen, baby,
when you look back on your wedding
219
00:10:37,527 --> 00:10:39,429
years from now...
220
00:10:42,173 --> 00:10:44,842
...you're gonna want to have
those memories with your brother.
221
00:10:46,111 --> 00:10:47,712
Calvin, what the hell are you doing?!
222
00:10:47,812 --> 00:10:50,081
I'm emptying the dishwasher.
223
00:10:50,181 --> 00:10:52,617
Apparently, I have to do
everything around here.
224
00:10:56,787 --> 00:10:58,356
That was going in.
225
00:11:01,259 --> 00:11:03,461
I mean, it is nonstop, Trey.
226
00:11:03,561 --> 00:11:05,863
One ridiculous wedding event
after another,
227
00:11:06,031 --> 00:11:08,266
a-and the groom-posal was insane.
228
00:11:08,366 --> 00:11:10,401
There was a rock, there was a sword,
229
00:11:10,501 --> 00:11:12,170
and then there was a suit of armor.
230
00:11:13,638 --> 00:11:17,275
So, he did all that just
to ask you to be his best man?
231
00:11:17,300 --> 00:11:19,102
Yes. I mean, it's ridiculous, right?
232
00:11:19,127 --> 00:11:20,128
Tell me I'm wrong.
233
00:11:20,153 --> 00:11:21,822
- You're wrong.
- Thank you.
234
00:11:21,847 --> 00:11:23,749
Wait, what?
235
00:11:24,049 --> 00:11:25,716
I'm just saying, Marty went through
236
00:11:25,816 --> 00:11:28,219
all that trouble to make you
feel loved and appreciated,
237
00:11:28,319 --> 00:11:30,421
and you went and acted like a jackass.
238
00:11:30,521 --> 00:11:32,690
I did not.
239
00:11:35,241 --> 00:11:38,077
Word on the street is you
were a total jackass to Marty.
240
00:11:40,242 --> 00:11:41,944
I said yes to Marty, okay?
241
00:11:41,969 --> 00:11:43,859
Look, maybe I wasn't as
nice as I could have been...
242
00:11:43,884 --> 00:11:46,254
Okay, I-I don't care. Uh...
243
00:11:47,072 --> 00:11:49,807
Are you now bumped down
to regular groomsman
244
00:11:49,907 --> 00:11:53,378
or... or are you out out,
and now there's an opening?
245
00:11:54,145 --> 00:11:56,681
Well, I can't be completely
out of the wedding, Dave.
246
00:11:56,781 --> 00:11:59,684
Uh, I mean, look, I got to do something.
247
00:11:59,784 --> 00:12:03,288
Marty's a big baby,
but he is my baby brother.
248
00:12:03,388 --> 00:12:05,790
You're right. You're a good brother.
249
00:12:05,890 --> 00:12:07,425
Damn it.
250
00:12:07,525 --> 00:12:10,461
So, what do I do?
251
00:12:15,366 --> 00:12:18,336
Malcolm, go to him.
252
00:12:20,511 --> 00:12:22,881
Yeah, but you got to do it right.
253
00:12:22,906 --> 00:12:26,475
After what you did,
you need to go all the way. Yeah.
254
00:12:26,705 --> 00:12:29,142
Meaning I got to
completely humiliate myself?
255
00:12:29,414 --> 00:12:31,449
No, no, not at all.
256
00:12:31,549 --> 00:12:34,252
Now, let's talk tunics and tights.
257
00:12:34,352 --> 00:12:36,954
Oh...
258
00:12:47,498 --> 00:12:50,868
You do know there's nothing
in your hand, right?
259
00:12:51,529 --> 00:12:53,131
Of course, babe.
260
00:12:53,247 --> 00:12:55,916
The tournament is tonight.
I can't risk injury.
261
00:12:56,407 --> 00:12:58,843
Hey, Tina, would you do me the honor
262
00:12:58,943 --> 00:13:02,213
of shagging my bags this evening?
263
00:13:02,313 --> 00:13:03,681
Do what now?
264
00:13:05,498 --> 00:13:07,801
I forgot, you don't speak hole.
265
00:13:09,919 --> 00:13:12,132
It means retrieving my bags.
266
00:13:12,157 --> 00:13:14,659
I just need to concentrate
on my throwing.
267
00:13:14,759 --> 00:13:18,162
Alexa, is it windy in Pasadena tonight?
268
00:13:18,163 --> 00:13:20,465
Hello, Cornhole King.
269
00:13:20,565 --> 00:13:22,733
This evening in Pasadena, California,
270
00:13:22,758 --> 00:13:25,595
it's breezy at 14.2 miles per hour.
271
00:13:25,620 --> 00:13:26,821
Hmm.
272
00:13:27,071 --> 00:13:30,508
I'm gonna have to adjust
my arc for the wind.
273
00:13:32,443 --> 00:13:36,503
Did you actually program Alexa
to call you Cornhole King?
274
00:13:36,528 --> 00:13:40,566
Yes. And trust me,
it's starting to catch on.
275
00:13:44,054 --> 00:13:47,325
Uh, you know, Calvin, I know I
encouraged you to get out of the house
276
00:13:47,425 --> 00:13:48,759
and find something to do,
277
00:13:48,859 --> 00:13:50,528
but don't you think
that maybe you're taking
278
00:13:50,628 --> 00:13:52,530
this Cornhole thing
a little too seriously?
279
00:13:52,630 --> 00:13:54,565
Don't be ridiculous.
280
00:13:56,201 --> 00:14:00,271
Calvin, bombaye!
281
00:14:00,371 --> 00:14:03,274
Calvin, bomba...
282
00:14:03,374 --> 00:14:05,876
Did you people not see Ali?
283
00:14:07,146 --> 00:14:09,183
Calvin, bombaye!
284
00:14:09,208 --> 00:14:13,212
Calvin, bombaye! Calvin, bombaye!
285
00:14:18,889 --> 00:14:20,491
Go, babe!
286
00:14:22,368 --> 00:14:24,770
It's all right, my man.
287
00:14:24,795 --> 00:14:28,366
You can tell your grandkids
you got beat by Calvin Butler.
288
00:14:28,466 --> 00:14:29,900
Go on, now.
289
00:14:32,637 --> 00:14:34,705
Calvin, let's talk management.
290
00:14:36,129 --> 00:14:37,397
What are you celebrating?
291
00:14:37,422 --> 00:14:38,924
You haven't won anything yet.
292
00:14:39,577 --> 00:14:41,912
I just took the semis.
293
00:14:42,406 --> 00:14:43,707
Finish the job!
294
00:14:45,416 --> 00:14:46,951
Sorry, Calvin.
295
00:14:47,051 --> 00:14:48,986
You've had your fun,
but your little lucky streak
296
00:14:49,086 --> 00:14:51,722
ends here. This is my house.
297
00:14:51,747 --> 00:14:54,016
Yeah, that's because
you lost your real house
298
00:14:54,041 --> 00:14:55,409
in your last divorce.
299
00:14:58,288 --> 00:14:59,656
True.
300
00:14:59,681 --> 00:15:03,986
But not you or my other exes or the IRS
301
00:15:04,011 --> 00:15:05,678
can take cornhole from me.
302
00:15:05,703 --> 00:15:08,706
Don't you worry, Calvin Butler.
303
00:15:08,731 --> 00:15:10,200
I'll keep the trophy here.
304
00:15:10,225 --> 00:15:12,227
You can come see it whenever you want.
305
00:15:12,277 --> 00:15:14,854
Oh. Uh, I'm gonna see it every night
306
00:15:14,887 --> 00:15:16,511
'cause it'll be in my bedroom.
307
00:15:16,536 --> 00:15:18,003
The hell it will.
308
00:15:18,028 --> 00:15:21,331
Hey, uh, shag girl,
you're messing up my trash talk.
309
00:15:32,130 --> 00:15:34,503
Hedwig?!
310
00:15:41,706 --> 00:15:44,875
"Your presence is requested
in Mother and Father's yard
311
00:15:44,900 --> 00:15:46,940
"at the stroke of 9:00.
312
00:15:46,965 --> 00:15:51,386
Yours, magically, Alan Dumbledore."
313
00:15:53,238 --> 00:15:55,651
It's Albus, but okay.
314
00:16:00,350 --> 00:16:03,052
Who dares approacheth my lair?
315
00:16:04,128 --> 00:16:05,808
You invited me, Dumbledore.
316
00:16:05,833 --> 00:16:10,167
Yes, right.
Approacheth, Grayskull Legolas.
317
00:16:11,235 --> 00:16:14,972
You are mixing so many different things,
but I love it!
318
00:16:16,793 --> 00:16:18,643
When I cast this spell,
319
00:16:18,668 --> 00:16:23,298
you will no longer remember that
I was dickish unto thee.
320
00:16:24,611 --> 00:16:27,181
And you will once again welcome me back
321
00:16:27,206 --> 00:16:30,876
as your best friend,
your best brother and...
322
00:16:32,082 --> 00:16:33,718
...your best man.
323
00:16:35,682 --> 00:16:37,917
Kombucha!
324
00:16:39,901 --> 00:16:43,171
Yes. A thousand times yes.
325
00:16:45,988 --> 00:16:47,790
This is unbelievably tense.
326
00:16:47,815 --> 00:16:49,216
It is?
327
00:16:50,403 --> 00:16:53,973
They're tied. They've gone
bag-for-bag this whole round.
328
00:16:53,998 --> 00:16:55,099
The next hole wins.
329
00:16:55,124 --> 00:16:56,959
Ooh, and then we're done?
330
00:16:58,335 --> 00:17:00,104
Oh. Hey, hey.
331
00:17:00,218 --> 00:17:01,753
You hear that, Calvin?
332
00:17:01,841 --> 00:17:04,410
That hole is calling my name.
333
00:17:07,213 --> 00:17:08,781
Ooh!
334
00:17:08,812 --> 00:17:11,874
Yeah. Oh, I hear it now.
335
00:17:12,118 --> 00:17:15,788
And it's saying,
"You're in second place, sucker."
336
00:17:16,409 --> 00:17:18,477
Time out. Time out, time out.
337
00:17:18,521 --> 00:17:20,723
Calvin, his bag
is teetering over the edge.
338
00:17:21,093 --> 00:17:22,424
It's air mail time.
339
00:17:22,425 --> 00:17:23,459
- Air mail?
- Yes.
340
00:17:23,559 --> 00:17:24,727
We practiced this.
341
00:17:24,827 --> 00:17:26,462
No, we didn't.
342
00:17:26,562 --> 00:17:28,664
We didn't? Crap.
343
00:17:28,764 --> 00:17:30,165
Okay.
344
00:17:30,265 --> 00:17:33,135
You've got to arc high. Crazy high.
345
00:17:33,235 --> 00:17:35,170
Higher than you've ever
arced in your life.
346
00:17:35,270 --> 00:17:37,272
Your bag's got to come straight down
347
00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:39,875
through that hole without
taking Ernie's bag in with it.
348
00:17:39,975 --> 00:17:41,944
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Delay of game.
349
00:17:42,044 --> 00:17:44,447
Okay, hey, I'm tossing.
350
00:17:44,547 --> 00:17:46,448
I'm tossing, man.
351
00:17:46,449 --> 00:17:48,116
Okay.
352
00:18:15,110 --> 00:18:18,113
Yes! We did it! We're awesome!
353
00:18:18,213 --> 00:18:20,649
Suck it, loser!
354
00:18:22,985 --> 00:18:25,487
Hey, uh, good game, Calvin.
355
00:18:25,488 --> 00:18:28,023
- Yeah, that felt pretty good.
- Oh,
356
00:18:28,123 --> 00:18:29,825
need to take your picture for the wall.
357
00:18:29,925 --> 00:18:31,894
Oh, not without my shag girl.
358
00:18:31,994 --> 00:18:33,328
Nah, I'm good.
359
00:18:35,564 --> 00:18:38,834
Hey, that was, uh
that was some fine holing, Calvin.
360
00:18:38,934 --> 00:18:40,836
Yeah. Maybe the best I've ever seen.
361
00:18:40,936 --> 00:18:42,938
- It was fun.
- Yeah, it was.
362
00:18:43,038 --> 00:18:46,141
Oh, it doesn't have to be over.
See, there's a doubles circuit.
363
00:18:46,241 --> 00:18:48,310
We can take this act
on the road as a team.
364
00:18:48,410 --> 00:18:51,313
There is a tournament
next weekend in Reno.
365
00:18:51,413 --> 00:18:53,849
- Now, the way I figure...
- Look, sorry, Ernie.
366
00:18:54,167 --> 00:18:57,570
I mean, since I sold the
shop, I have been looking
367
00:18:57,595 --> 00:19:00,297
for something to be
passionate about, but...
368
00:19:00,322 --> 00:19:03,158
this is your thing, man. All right?
369
00:19:03,258 --> 00:19:04,893
I'm still searching for mine.
370
00:19:04,993 --> 00:19:07,529
Mm. You'll find it, baby.
371
00:19:07,530 --> 00:19:10,699
Hey, you-you sure about that, Calvin?
372
00:19:10,799 --> 00:19:13,268
Very. But you...
373
00:19:13,368 --> 00:19:14,703
You go out there and give 'em hell.
374
00:19:14,728 --> 00:19:15,963
Hey!
375
00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:18,056
I'll do it.
I'll go with you, Ernie. Reno!
376
00:19:18,081 --> 00:19:20,150
Reno!
377
00:19:20,175 --> 00:19:21,384
Hey,
378
00:19:21,409 --> 00:19:22,544
- you drive stick?
- Yeah.
379
00:19:22,545 --> 00:19:23,946
- Uh-huh.
- Yeah, you do.
380
00:19:23,971 --> 00:19:26,524
Hey, hey! You're not going to Reno.
381
00:19:26,549 --> 00:19:28,601
You're a wife, a mother and a principal.
382
00:19:28,626 --> 00:19:32,020
Okay, Gemma,
uh, go home, all right? Go on, now.
383
00:19:32,045 --> 00:19:33,714
Go.
384
00:19:39,695 --> 00:19:42,565
Something is definitely wrong with her.
385
00:19:55,102 --> 00:19:59,472
David Seymour Johnson,
first of his name, come forth.
386
00:20:06,479 --> 00:20:08,014
Oh, my God.
387
00:20:08,115 --> 00:20:09,616
Is this happening?
388
00:20:09,716 --> 00:20:12,152
The maiden Necie hath decreed
389
00:20:12,252 --> 00:20:15,922
that the size of her bridal
party will increase by one.
390
00:20:16,022 --> 00:20:19,259
Her cousin Keisha will be joining us
from the Woods of Ingle.
391
00:20:20,660 --> 00:20:21,694
Huh?
392
00:20:21,794 --> 00:20:23,496
Keisha from Inglewood.
393
00:20:25,398 --> 00:20:29,869
Wilst thou do me the most high honor
394
00:20:29,969 --> 00:20:31,938
of joining the Groom's Watch?
395
00:20:32,038 --> 00:20:34,141
Wedding is coming.
396
00:20:35,275 --> 00:20:38,378
T'would be my honor, your grace.
397
00:20:40,046 --> 00:20:43,383
With thy very knee
I bendeth like Beckham.
398
00:20:48,421 --> 00:20:49,622
Macchiato!
399
00:20:52,662 --> 00:20:56,662
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