All language subtitles for Doc.Martin.S06E01.Sickness.and.Health.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.x264-DAWN_track3_[eng]

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Are you absolutely positive
everything's all right?

You're fine.
Get dressed.

-You wouldn't take another look?
-Nope.

-[ Telephone rings ]
-Just to make sure.

We're finished here.

JOE: Hello?

-No offense, but you are a man.
-[ Cellphone rings ]

And I don't know that you know
that much about, uh...

I know more about it
than you do.

Doc, I think it would be better
for all concerned

if you sent me to a specialist.

When there's actually
something wrong,

I'll be only too pleased
to do that.

-Well, I think that --
-Good day.

-Kept me waiting 20 minutes.
-Put that cigarette out.

Doc?

We're here.

Mm.

-BERT: Here he is!
-MORWENNA: Here's Daddy.

All right, Doc?

About time, too.
I've been calling you.

I know you have.

It's just, you know, my duty

to get you down that aisle
on time.

You are not my best man.

Let's not
put a title on it, eh?

I thought
you were getting changed.

-I did.
-Oh.

Doc, now, can I give you
a word of advice?

No.

-Something that my father --
-Really, no.

Well, I think I've said all
I have to say on the subject.

Yes, you have.

But as one of your last few
surviving relatives --

-Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
-All right.

Is she here yet?

She's on her way.
Probably.

Don't worry about a thing, Doc.
Just get yourself inside, eh?

Doc? Wait.

Bet you thought
I'd forgotten, right?

Thank you.

[ Slow organ music playing ]

15 minutes late.

That's not --
That's not long for a bride.

I know.

Mind you,
about a month ago

we had a man
standing right there --

15 minutes, 30,
an hour, two hours.

I think we hit three
before the penny dropped.

Apparently, she'd run off
with the best man.

Don't have to worry
about that with me, Doc.

Would you sit down, please?

[ Whistling tune ]

[ People murmuring ]

[ Murmuring stops ]

[ Wagner's "Bridal Chorus"
plays ]

JAMES: [ Squeals ]

Sorry.

Had a bit of trouble
with my hair.

Oh. I know.
I mean...

It's -- It's fine.

You're nervous.

-No.
-Yeah. Me too.

Who are all these people?

-[ Clears throat ]
-Guests.

Bearly deloved,

we are gathered here today

to bless the joining of this man
and woman in holy matrimony.

Marriage is not to be
entered into lightly,

but reverently.

Which means
you have to be sure.

We are.

Both of you?

Yes.

If anyone present
can show just cause

why they should not
be lawfully married,

speak now,
or forever hold your peace.

JAMES: [ Cries ]

[ Laughter ]

Out of the mouths of babes.

REVEREND:
In which case,

do you,
Louisa Roberta Glasson,

take
Martin Christopher Ellingham

to be
your lawful wedded husband?

Yes. I do.

And do you,
Martin Ellingham --

Yes, I do.

Mm.
Does the best man have the ring?

Uh...

No.

With this ring, I thee...

Yes, right,
we're not quite ready

for the putting-it-on-the-finger
bit, but, uh...

Apparently, we are.

So, by the power
invested in me,

I now pronounce you
man and wife.

-Aww!
-Aww!

You may kiss the bride.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Sorry.

[ Dog barking ]

[ Cheering ]

[ Children squealing ]

[ Indistinct conversations,
slow piano music playing ]

[ Gasps ]
Oh, Ruth, thank you.

I can't believe I'm married.

-Do I look married?
-Now you do.

Oh.
A day to remember.

[ Glasses clink ]

[ Gasps ]
Katy! You made it.

I'm so thrilled you're here.

Not quite
up to our standard, boy.

Yeah, pretty tasty, though.

Dry as a dog's hind leg.

Thought I'd come over
and pay my respects, Doc.

Thank you.

MILLER: You've got
a real beauty there.

Yes.

I need you
to have a look at my leg.

It's -- It's been clicking.

For God's sake, of course not.
Make an appointment.

I'm not drunk.
Who said I was drunk?

Why did you invite
Chippy Miller?

-He's hardly a close friend.
-I didn't invite him.

In fact, a lot of people here
weren't invited.

Right.
I'll move them on, then.

No! It's nice them showing up
and wishing us well.

-It's nice.
-They're not thinking about us.

They're thinking about
free food and cider.

Well, it's the way things work
'round here, Martin.

You might've wanted
a nice, quiet reception,

but the village didn't.

If they're so determined
to have a party,

why don't we just
leave them to it?

You have been to a wedding
before, haven't you?

There's the cake cutting
and the dancing to go yet.

Yeah.
Just a bit longer.

-Yes.
-[ Glass dinging ]

JOE:
Ladies and gentlemen?

Hello?!

-WOMAN: Oh!
-[ Laughter ]

[ Glass tinkling ]

Today a great man,

a great physician,

and the greatest thing
to happen to Portwenn

since the new parking area
at the beach...

[ Laughter ]

...married --

You're a tosser!
Get off!

[ Laughter ]

...married one of
our natural treasures...

-Aww.
-Aww.

...Louisa Glasson.

There were a few roadblocks
and diversions en route

and a quick stopover
at the maternity ward.

Baby.

But happily, they have arrived
at their destination.

-Oh, please, sit down!
-Shh!

[ Laughter ]

[ Chuckles ]

Back in 1984,

Tina Turner
asked the question,

"What's love got to do --
got to do with it?"

And the answer is...

-Go.
-[ Slow piano music plays]

[ Laughter ]

Bert. Bert, I haven't
finished my speech.

-Go on, Doc.
-Go on, Doc.

[ Indistinct shouting ]

But I -- I got
some good jokes.

I think that's meant for us.

Is it mandatory?

You don't have to
if you don't want to, Martin.

[ Singing indistinctly]

[ Cheering ]

Thank you.

I may be a touch rusty.
Or not very good.

♪ I can feel something♪

♪ As you're right here
by my side♪

I learned at school.
It was compulsory.

♪ ...fell so easily...♪

[ Groans ]

That was your foot.
Sorry! It's been a while.

-It's okay.
-Sorry.

♪ But I just want to know
that you feel this like I do♪

Did you have dance lessons
when you were a child?

No.

I thought not.

♪ But, baby, can you tell me
that this ain't what you do♪

♪ When you feel like
there's nothing wrong?♪

Hmm.

-What?
-They're plotting something.

Oh, God. I hope
it's nothing embarrassing.

Why don't we leave
while we still can?

Yes. Good.

♪ These emotions
breaking down alone♪

♪ Why do I fall so easily...♪

Ah. You are not gonna
get off that easy, my lovers.

We have a surprise for you.

Can't have a wedding
without a honeymoon.

Martin!
Was this your idea?

Absolutely not.

Now, we have all chipped in,
and you will be whisked away

in this fabulous vehicle

to a luxury vacation
with all the trimmings.

And I'm perfectly capable
of looking after him.

Oh, Ruth.
I-I don't know.

It's only for one night,
dear.

He won't feel
you've abandoned him.

And even if he does,

he's far too young
to remember any of it.

[ Sighs ]
Just one night?

Bags all packed
and ready to go.

In the boot.

What, you mean
you've been in our bedroom?

Rifling through
your ironed boxer shorts.

-BERT: Oh, yes.
-What?

And Large Restaurant has donated
a fully stocked hamper

to get your honeymoon night
off with a bang, Doc.

Ohh!
Martin, can we?

Well, uh...

If -- If you --
If you really want to.

Quick, before he changes
his mind!

[ Sighs ] Bye, James.

Now, Ruth,
thank you so much.

Now, listen,
there's food in the fridge.

He likes banana custard.

But don't let him get hold of
the spoon, or you'll be sorry.

And he's not been sleeping
very well.

Yes, dear.
You've already told me.

You might want to try
a vigorous rocking motion.

No, not too -- not too hard,
though.

And he loves
his purple dinosaur.

-It's the little one on the bed.
-Yes.

Yeah.

-MORWENNA: Mind your dress.
-Bye!

Doc, I didn't finish my speech.
I've got this great joke.

-This man goes to the doctor.
-[ Cheering ]

He says, "Doctor, Doctor,
I think I need glasses."

Doc?

[ Laughs ]

Got caught, huh?

Ow!

Doc?

LOUISA: So, Bert,
where are you taking us?

BERT: You two lovebirds just
sit back and enjoy the ride.

This is your day.

Just tell us
where we're going, Bert.

I don't want to ruin
the surprise, Doc.

Let's just say
it's the most romantic spot

in the whole of Cornwall.

It comes with the Bert Large
stamp of approval.

That doesn't exactly
fill me with confidence.

Here, I had my honeymoon
in this lodge, Doc.

That's how deep
the personal guarantee goes.

Oh, right.
So we're staying in a lodge.

Oh, great!
That's the surprise ruined.

Well, I hope you're happy
with yourselves.

LOUISA: I don't think I've ever
been out this way before.

BERT:
That's the beauty of it.

Isolated, romantic.
No one around to disturb you.

I spent
my entire honeymoon naked.

-Oh, Bert!
-'Twas the wife's idea.

She said,
"Bert, we're married now.

The nearest house
is a mile away.

What do we need clothes for?"

Like Adam and Eve
in the Garden of Eden we were.

[ Laughs ]

Of course I kept my socks on.
It was a bit chilly, right?

Here.

Not much further.
You'll see.

Hidden gem, it is.

There we are.

Oh, this is perfect.

Bert, thank you so much.

DOC MARTIN: It certainly looks
all right from the outside.

Champagne and nibbles
just to keep you ticking over.

LOUISA:
Oh, how romantic.

Thank you.

We'll sort out
the money later, Doc.

I thought you said
this was a gift.

Well, yes.
Of course.

But a whip-round
only goes so far.

And you're no doubt lining your
own pocket at the same time.

Now, I'll be back in the morning
to pick you both up.

How much?

Don't do anything
I wouldn't do.

How much is this
going to cost us?

Cheers and gone.

Bert! Stop!

Bert! Stop!

Martin.

Bert!

Idiot!

I'm sure
it won't be that much.

He's driven off
with our luggage.

We've got no clothes
to change into,

or even toothbrushes.

It's only for a night.
I'm sure we can rough it.

Come on.
Let's have a look inside.

Yes.

Oh, look,
it's so beautiful, Martin.

Look!

It's so kind of them.

DOC MARTIN: Oh, God.

Oh, God!

[ Groans ]

Ohh!

Oh, isn't it lovely, Martin?

It's a pleasant surprise.

-[ Cellphone beeps ]
-Oh. No signal.

And no telephone, either,
by the looks of things.

Even better.

Listen.

What?

Nothing.

Nothing at all.
No noise.

No traffic.

No moaning patients.
No crying babies.

Just you.
And me.

What are you doing?

Um, nothing.

I was just...

Nothing.

Good.

Well, hello...

...husband.

Hello...

...Mrs. Ellingham.

I'll light a fire.

And I'll open
that bottle of champagne.

Whatever you say.

I didn't say anything.

I know.

RUTH:
Just a bite.

Just one little mouthful,
that's all, huh?

Huh?

Oh, come on.

Your continuous refusal

is, frankly,
bordering on the antisocial.

[ Sighs ]

Look at his big smile.

He likes it.
Hmm?

Mmm!
It's delicious!

Mm-- Oh, God.

I stand corrected.
It's disgusting.

[ Sighs ]

Well, at least it shows
you have good taste.

Why do men
always want to build a fire?

DOC MARTIN: [ Blowing ]

Maybe it's just
a caveman thing.

Actually, it's lucky
there was so much kindling.

Important thing is
to get it as hot as possible

as soon as possible
to warm up the flue,

get it drawing,
counteract the air sink.

Maybe "caveman" wasn't
the right choice of word.

Cheers.

Yes.

Do you remember
the first day we met?

I do.
Acute glaucoma.

You made me wear an eye patch,
and I felt like a pirate.

Mm.

Of course,
the, uh, alternate treatment

is to apply a parrot
to your shoulder.

That was a joke, Martin.

-Yes.
-Very good.

-[ Coughing ] Sorry!
-[ Coughing ]

It's not you.
It's not your fault.

Oh, the chimney's blocked.

Did you open the damper?

What damper?

It's like a kind of flap
with a handle.

I know what a damper is.

Martin, be careful.
You're gonna burn yourself.

Be careful!

-We've got to put it out.
-I'm trying to find something.

See if you can find
a fire extinguisher.

-I'm looking for something.
-Quickly!

Martin, that's our champagne!

Uh, yes.

[ Thud ]

Aah!

[ Both coughing ]

You all right?

[ Laughing ] I'm so sorry.

-What?
-Got a thing here.

Oh. Got it?

Right. Come on.

-Wait. Where are you going?
-That house that we passed.

Find a telephone. Call Bert.
We need our luggage.

Well, I'm not exactly dressed
for a hike, am I?

Well, you can't stay here.

The place is awash
with bronchial irritants.

It needs to air.

Martin, it's getting dark.
And, look, it's foggy.

Please,
can't we just stay here?

[ Clearing throat ]

Martin?
What are you doing?

-[ Clattering ]
-Martin?

-[ Sighs ]
-[ Coughing ]

-Seriously?
-Come on.

Okay.

Well, I suppose
a walk in the country

might be romantic sort of.

Martin?

-Come on!
-Martin?

[ Sighs, groans ]

-Martin!
-Buck up.

Martin.

-Martin!
-What?

You keep going ahead of me!

I'm just looking for the road.
I thought I heard a car.

-Did you find it?
-No.

Yeah, 'cause I'm sure
it's the other way.

Look, logically, if we stick
to the path, we can't go wrong.

Of course,
because nothing about

a long-distance hike in
a wedding dress is at all wrong.

Can we slow down?
I just can't keep up.

It's just a question
of taking longer strides.

Well, I'm wearing heels,
Martin.

Yes. Right.
Do you want to take my arm?

Just try
and keep step with me.

-Steady rhythm.
-Fine.

JAMES: [ Crying ]

RUTH:
You must sleep.

It aids neural development.

[ Dishwasher whirring ]

All the other babies
are doing it right now.

Do you want to fall behind
the other children?

[ Crying stops ]

There you go.

Now you're getting the idea.

There.

[ Electricity zaps ]

-JAMES: [ Crying ]
-Oh, bugger.

LOUISA: Well, we're definitely
going the wrong way.

DOC MARTIN:
No, we're not.

LOUISA: When we drove in,
the trees were on the left,

and now there are trees
all around us.

I'm not certain
that's correct.

We're in the middle
of a forest, Martin.

Well, strictly speaking,
it isn't a forest, it's a wood.

[ Branches rustling ]

Seriously,
is that your argument?

You're going the wrong way,

and the best you can do
is split hairs over --

-Shh!
-No, not "shh."

Shh!
There's someone out there.

Hello?
Who's there?

-[ Rustling ]
-Show yourself.

All right,
I've just about had enough.

I want this
to stop instantly.

This is my final warning!

-[ Horse whinnies ]
-Oh, God!

Stupid animal.

You're really
not the outdoor type, are you?

Shoo!

[ Sighs ]

Right.
Let's find that telephone.

-Martin, careful!
-Aah!

Sorry.
I thought I saw a rabbit.

I didn't want you
to get a fright

or to get into a confrontation
with it or anything.

[ Imitating Doc Martin ]
This is my final warning!

-DOC MARTIN: Yes.
-Show yourself! [ Laughs ]

DOC MARTIN:
I was trying to protect you.

LOUISA:
[ Laughing ] Final warning.

Ah. Ruth.

-Oh, you took your time.
-Sorry.

Dad wouldn't let me go
till he gave me a short course

in electrical health and safety.

So, what's the problem?

The lights have blown.

Ah. Yeah.

In all likelihood, there's
probably a short somewhere.

Did you, um --
did you turn anything on?

A kettle? Ah.

RUTH: No, nothing.
Just the dishwasher.

Dishwasher? Yeah.

Uh...

Can you fix it?

If I had
the proper equipment...

Probably not.

So the baby and I stay
in the dark until the morning?

JAMES: [ Whines ]

I'll make a call.

Um...

I think we might possibly, uh,
have taken a wrong turning.

Yeah, well,
I have been saying that

for the past 15 minutes,
Martin.

Well, it doesn't seem like
it's too deep.

I'm not wading across it.

Well, we have to keep going
in a straight line.

Otherwise, we'll start
to go 'round in circles.

And I'm still not
wading across it, Martin. No.

All right, then.
I'll -- I'll carry you.

Really?

-Yes.
-Sure?

Um...

Uh...

Don't drop me!

DOC MARTIN:
You're crushing my windpipe.

How do you think those two
are getting on, then?

Oh, the usual blend
of chalk and cheese, I imagine.

Oh.

[ Knock on door ]

I saw the candles.
Everything all right?

Or have I missed the séance?

No, everything is
not all right.

I would have thought
that was perfectly obvious.

The lights have blown,
and Al can't fix them.

But apparently
there's somebody coming who can.

Yeah, Mike Pruddy
is on his way.

Oh.
It's an electrician you need.

Might be able to save you
some money there.

Oh, I think these things are
best left to the professionals.

Let me be the judge of that.

Down the hall on the right.

He won't electrocute himself,
will he?

We can only hope.

[ Knock on door ]

Evening.

Oh, yes, do come in.
Everyone else has.

Thought I'd better check
on the boy.

Electrics really aren't
his thing.

-Joe's on it.
-Penhale?

That bloke could start a fire
in a bowl of water.

Sounds rather biblical.

I wonder if you can start a fire
in a bowl of water.

-BERT: Look out!
-[ Crash ]

-[ Grunt ]
-[ Thud ]

Man down.
We've a man down.

LOUISA: How did you imagine we'd
be spending our wedding night?

DOC MARTIN:
Not like this.

This is a mistake.
We should be at home.

-Oh! Steady, Martin!
-Yes.

Idiot Bert.

Abandoning us in that place.

Yeah, well, him and the
villagers wanted to surprise us.

What awful people.

Well, they all knew
that we didn't want a honeymoon.

-Youdidn't want a honeymoon.
-Well, you agreed.

Because I didn't want to
drag you off somewhere

and have you complaining.

What, so you did
want a honeymoon?

Well, I wanted you
to want one.

What?

Oh, no,
I don't understand that.

LOUISA:
No, you don't, do you?

You never do.

Right.
We're cold. We're wet.

Let's just call Bert.

Find a telephone,
get home as fast as we can.

You were right.
This was probably a mistake.

I could've been crippled.

You shouldn't have been standing
on that chair in the dark.

I needed to get a better angle
on the situation.

Now, be honest.
How bad is it?

-That is borderline, that is.
-Will it leave a scar?

Oh, you might need butterflies.

Then again,
you might need sutures.

I think
you're possibly forgetting

there's a doctor in the house.

What is the recommended
course of treatment, then, Doc?

Stick a plaster on it
and shut up.

Evening.

Evening, Corporal.

-Show him where it is, Al.
-Oh. Right.

JAMES: [ Crying ]

I'd give him a try,
but I've been compromised.

[ Owl hoots ]

-Can I say something?
-No.

I think you're being unfair.

Oh. Right.
Thank you.

Because you say one thing
when you mean another.

You agree to something

when actually
you want something else.

It doesn't make sense.

So if I'd have said
I wanted a big, lavish wedding,

with white horses
and a gold carriage

and a big reception
with hundreds of guests

and a week-long honeymoon
on some tropical island,

you would have said what?

Hmm? Martin?

Martin? Martin?!

Can you see anything?

No, nothing at all
'cause you're blinding me.

Look, shine it over here,
will you?

I bet this is boring
compared to army life, innit?

Huh, if you think
rewiring fuse boxes

in the desert is exciting,
then -- then, yeah.

If you need any backup,
let me know.

You can hand me that box.

We're in the same line of work,
you and me.

What, you're an electrician
as well?

No. Special forces.

You army, me police.

So we're not really
in the same line of work, then.

Well, we're both trained
to respond

to an emergency situation.

Primed and ready
at the shortest notice.

Well, actually,
there is something

you could do to help me.

Stop talking.

Right.

-DOC MARTIN: [ Groans ]
-Martin?

Oh, I'm all right.
I think.

Ow! Oh, no.
I may have sprained my wrist.

Right.
I'm coming down.

No, don't. It's too steep.
I'll come up.

-Just catch me if I fall.
-What?

-Aah!
-What?

-What?! Oh!
-Sorry.

-Oh!
-Sorry.

Your dress.

It's fine. I wasn't planning
on wearing it again anyway.

-Oh, no, you're hurt.
-No, it's nothing.

-Let me have a look.
-There's no need.

[ Fox barks ]

What the hell was that?

MAN:
I'll kill you!

We need to
get out of here.

It's just the farmer
shouting at some foxes.

It's fine.

-Are you sure?
-[ Fox barking ]

MAN: Edna!

Yeah. 99% sure.

And a fox and a farmer
means a farmhouse,

which means a telephone,
so...

Ah!

99% sure.

That's not entirely conclusive,
is it, Louisa?

Oh. All right.

Not a farmhouse, then.

Hmm.

Doesn't look like he exactly
welcomes visitors, either.

Well, we're here now.

-[ Barking ]
-Aah!

Get -- Oh!

[ Clucking ]

-Martin, are you all right?
-Uh, yes.

What are you doing out here?!

Who are you?

We were just looking
for some help.

Um, would you mind
lowering your gun?

I don't like people
poking around here.

We're not poking around here.

We just wanted to
use your telephone.

I haven't got a phone.

[ Exhales sharply ]
Of course you don't.

What's with the fancy clothes?

Um, it's our wedding day,
and this is the honeymoon.

Congratulations.

Easy, tiger!

No sudden moves.

Is that thing loaded?

Course it's loaded.

Well, why don't you put it down
before somebody gets hurt?

Yourself included.

And if you can't help us
with a telephone,

we'll just be on our way.

No, no, no.

You're not going anywhere.

I beg your pardon?

There are foxes out here.

Edna?!

Are you taking
any sort of medication?

Do you know what the date is?

Course I do.

So should you,

it being your wedding day
an' all.

Edna!

-Is that your wife?
-My dog.

She's a good judge
of character.

So, what happens now?

You start mending
my chicken coop.

I'm sure it looks worse
than it is.

We can probably just,
you know,

stand it back up again
or something.

It needs to be done properly.

You broke it.
You fix it.

How about
I give you some money,

and then
you can get it patched up?

Tools are over there.

[ Dishwasher whirring ]

-Cheers.
-All done.

Teamwork.

Told you
we'd get it sorted, Ruth.

-Bet you're glad we're here.
-Delighted.

Last orders.
Drink up and be on your way.

Right, lads.
Let's be hitting the sack, eh?

It's the early bird
catches the felon.

I've got to be up
a bit sharpish myself, too.

I've got to go and fetch
the doc and Loui--

-Oh, bugger it.
-What?

Let's just say that someone

forgot to give the doc
his suitcase.

I mean, he'd see the funny side
of that, wouldn't he?

-JAMES: [ Crying ]
-Oh, James Henry Ellingham.

You are intent on torturing
your great-aunt Ruth tonight.

Well, he's teething, innit he?
Poor little bugger.

-Is he?
-That's why his chin's all red.

He can't help drooling.

-What are you looking for?
-Ah.

-Here.
-Vanilla essence?

Rub it on his gums
with your finger.

This isn't the 16th century.
He'll need an analgesic.

Counterpressure will help
the pain of the tooth

pushing through the gum.

See, I grew up
in a family of 10.

I was the eldest,

and screaming babies
were practically

the soundtrack to my youth.

[ Sighs ]

If I hadn't been raised
to show no emotion,

I might cry, myself.

-Oh!
-Got one.

There's 13 others running 'round
out there like fox food.

In you go.

For God's sake!

My dog Edna
could do a better job than that.

Well, why don't you
do it yourself, then?

No. I'd rather see a moron
like you make a good job of it.

Ha ha ha.

-LOUISA: Excuse me?
-What?

Yes, we broke
your chicken coop.

But you pointed
a loaded gun at us,

you've practically
held us hostage,

and now you're insulting
my husband.

-Louisa.
-No, Martin.

Good manners cost nothing.

I think your missus
is a little bit doolally.

Oh, do you?

Look, I banged your post in.

Just tell us
where that telephone is,

and we'll be on our way.

Oh, for God's sake!

-I'll bash it in. Here.
-What's wrong with that?

You give me that.
You hold the post.

Apologize.

-Louisa!
-It's all right, Martin.

Apologize to my husband
and to me.

Go on!

Sorry.

Now fix your post.

Louisa, give me that rifle.

Ow!

-Ow!
-What's happened?

-Martin.
-Let me see.

I think you've
dislocated your shoulder.

You mean, you have.

What's wrong with you people,

coming 'round here
in the middle of the night,

demanding things,
breaking things?

-Let me see it.
-No, you're not touching me!

He's a doctor. Stop whining,
and let him have a look.

Come on.
Open your shirt.

-I would if I could.
-All right.

Yeah. The humeral head's
come out of its socket.

It doesn't seem
to hurt as much now.

No, it wouldn't.

The body produces endorphins
to reduce shock.

But you'll be in severe

and incapacitating pain
within minutes.

I don't think he means it
like that.

No, I do.
He'll be in agony.

Can you fix it?

-Yes, of course I can.
-I mean, properly.

Move into the light.

Louisa, please stop
waving that around.

It's dangerous.

Stop telling me what to do,
will you?

Well, he's sleeping like a --
well, like a baby.

-[ Chuckles ]
-You're a very competent man.

That's a rarity
around these parts.

Yeah, right.

Can't hold down a steady job.
Can't find a decent girlfriend.

I'm a regular success story.

Could be worse.

You could be
an agoraphobic schizophrenic.

Yeah.
Always look on the sunny side.

-How much do I owe you?
-Oh, for the baby? Nothing.

And for everything else,
I'll send a bill.

Perfect.

[ Groans ]

I seem to be
running out of endorphins.

Do us a favor, love --
Go in the caravan.

There's a bottle of whiskey
in the cupboard above the sink.

-[ Groans ]
-Yeah.

[ Water running ]

I know what
you're thinking, Doc.

You're jealous.
You want a caravan of your own.

DOC MARTIN: Yes, that's right.
That's just what I'm thinking.

MAN:
I feel sorry for you,

with that a boring life,
getting married with your wife.

Shut up!

Don't you say my wife's name
with your...mouth!

Um, I've got the bottle.

Right.
Let's relocate this shoulder.

I'm gonna
slowly pull your arm up

to a 90-degree abduction,
and then we're gonna rotate it.

It might hurt a bit.
Are you ready?

Get on with it.

-Aah! Aaah!
-[ Crack ]

[ Laughs ] Heaven!

Oh, well done, Martin.

It's a simple procedure.

[ Dog yelps ]

LOUISA: Aah!

Louisa!
Are you all right?

-LOUISA: Yes. You?
-Yes.

Quickly.
Get this off.

LOUISA: Hello?
Are you all right?

You clumsy git!

How is he?
Oh!

Is he okay?

Something's nicked
his carotid artery.

Don't move!

LOUISA:
I'll call an ambulance.

-Where's the next house?
-There's no time.

In a few minutes, he'll either
have a stroke or bleed out.

LOUISA:
Is there anything you can do?

-Yes, but I -- I need your help.
-Okay. Right.

Right.
I need a needle and thread.

The top drawer.

Right, I'll get it.
What else?

DOC MARTIN: Uh, a razor blade
or a small knife.

MAN:
In the baccy tin.

Hurry up.

Yes, yes.
I'm looking, I'm looking.

-Fishing line?
-DOC MARTIN: Yes. Good.

You need to regulate
your breathing.

Try and slow
your heartbeat down.

I don't want to die.

I don't want you
to die either.

Right.
I've got it all.

Cotton swabs?

Where am I gonna find
cotton swabs?

I don't think he has
a skin-care regime.

This is it.
I'm sorry.

Right.

I want you to place your hand
on mine.

Not you.

And when I say,

place your index finger
where mine is

and apply constant pressure,
all right?

-Yes.
-Ready?

Now.

-[ Inhales sharply ]
-Oh!

All right, I'm going to attempt
to open the wound

in order to gain access
to the artery.

When I've done that,
I'll try to repair it.

Yes.

Do you need help?

No.

Right. I'll need something
to clamp the artery with.

T-That thing in your hair.
The grip.

Yeah.
You can have that.

Do you have
another bottle of whiskey?

Yeah.
In the cupboard by the sink.

Yes.

Oh, God!
[ Groans ]

I'll give you the word,
you remove your hand,

I'll make the incision, and then
I'll clamp off the artery.

Yes.

When I've done that,

I want you
to hold the clamp in place

while I make the repair.

-Okay?
-Right.

-I mean, are youokay?
-Yeah, I'm fine.

Right.

Now.

Ugh!

Clamp.

All right.
Now hold the clamp in place.

Oh.
I'm -- I'm sorry.

It's fine.

This'll be over very soon.

One way or the other.

Right.
Let's see if it's held.

Good.

We need to get you to a hospital
as soon as possible.

Where's the nearest house?

There's a road
just at the back.

About 15 minutes' walk.

Some honeymoon, eh?

Stop talking.

DOC MARTIN:
I'm sorry.

LOUISA: For what?

It's not exactly
the sort of day you'd hoped for.

Well, it's certainly not one
that we'll ever forget, is it?

Which bit are you looking
forward to remembering most?

Getting lost?

Held at gunpoint?

Or, um, watching
this man exsanguinate?

I think probably all of it.

I see.

[ Vehicle approaching ]

Martin. Martin.

Listen.

Oh. She's asleep.

[ Sighs ]

So...

-Louisa...
-[ Door opens ]

BERT: All right, boy,
we'll put the luggage in here,

and then we'll shift the blame
to Morwenna, right?

Oh! God.

No, it's okay, Bert.

It's not our blood.
We're fine.

RUTH:
What on earth?

Oh, my God!

We're fine.
It's not our blood.

-How's James Henry?
-Whose blood is it?

-It's not important.
-I heard a noise.

Oh, Doc!

-It's not their blood, Joe.
-BERT: Allegedly.

Okay. Well, whatever happened,
we can fix it.

People go missing
all the time.

Are there any problems
with James? Is he okay?

He was sleeping.

Please say you didn't do
any damage to the lodge.

I'll lose my deposit.

Oh, I got furniture wax
in my eye!

Oh, I think I might be blind!

Whose blood is it?

Don't start on the luggage, Doc,
'cause it wasn't my fault.

[ Indistinct talking ]

Right.
I'm gonna check on James.

I'll see to this idiot.

[ Dog barking ]

-BERT: It was not my fault.
-[ Indistinct talking ]

Right. Go through
to the consulting room.

Not you.
Get rid of the dog.

BERT: I just didn't remember
to remember.

Ruth, was everything all right?
Was he okay?

How's his cold?
Has it cleared up now?

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