All language subtitles for Doc.Martin.2004.S04E07.1080p.CRKL.WEB-DL.AAC.2.0.x264_track1_[eng]

-I'm sure you'll be fine.

-Louisa.

-Hello, Martin.

-I know that you heard about
my job in London.

-Yes, and that's...

That's great news for you.

Really, really well done.

-I did try to tell you.

-Morning, miss Glasson.

-Hello there.

-Just trying to find the
appropriate moment.

-I'm not sure it's particularly

appropriate right now.

You know, you might have
told me first.

I do have a right to know.

I am carrying your child.

-A child that you have said
I'm to have nothing to do

with.

-No, that's not what I said.

-You have made it abundantly
clear from the outset that you

wish to bring up this
baby on your own.

-Because I knew you wouldn't
want to get involved.

-That is an outrageous
assumption.

-Yet, here we are discussing
your move to London.

-Which you just congratulated
me on so...

-you know, I really don't
have time for this.

-Louisa, there are some
practicalities

that need to be addressed.

-Louisa.

-We need to be clear
about some things.

-Sorry, Dr. Martin, I'm
not interrupting am I?

-Of course, you are.

-Louisa, I'm glad I've got you.

Now, listen.

You're having a baby.

-I'm aware of that.

-What I'm thinking
is baby shower.

-Oh, that sounds lovely
but really?

-It'd be a chance for
the village to show

you how much we care.

-Oh.

-We do care, you know.

-Well, if it's really no bother.

-Would be my pleasure.

We'll do it in my restaurant
tomorrow evening.

-Thanks, Bert.

Ok.

-Morning.

-Hello.

-All right if I put
some of these out?

-What are they?

-Flyers for the front room.

I'm doing b and b. No use
relying on a few chickens and

a vegetable patch to
keep me afloat.

-And to get a thatched roof.

-Uh, yes.

Well, the man at the copying
place did it on his computer.

-Hm.

-Morning, Jo.

-Ted, I haven't seen
you in ages.

How are you?

-Oh, to be honest I've
been better.

That's why I've come
to see the doc.

-Nothing serious, I hope.

-Oh, probably just too many
miles on the clock.

-Welcome to my world.

Oh, um, here.

Take one of these and if you
know anyone who wants a

holiday in como.

-B and b?

-Needs must.

-Are you booked up this week?

-No, not yet.

I've only just had the
flyers printed.

-You think you could fit me in?

-You?

-Yeah.

I...

I can't stay at the palm.

-Why ever not?

The man

Decided enough's enough.

They want me out so if I could
hide away here for a few days

till, you know, till
the dust settles,

I'd be ever so grateful.

-Course you can stay, Ted.

-You're very kind, Jo.

-Oh, there's just one thing.

Because it's summer, I'm afraid
I'm going to have to

charge you peak season rate.

-Oh.

Oh, well, if I'd have know the
receptionist was so good

looking I'd have come
in earlier.

-I'm not the receptionist.

I'm the practice manager and you
don't have an appointment.

-So much for flattery, but
would it help if I

told you I was dying?

I'm not though, I mean, would
it help if I told you I was?

Sit there.

-Is the doc going to
be much longer?

Ted: What time
do you call this?

-I call it a few minutes before
the surgery opens.

Where's the receptionist?

-I'm just in the kitchen
making you some coffee.

-I'm an early bird but I
don't catch no worms.

-I thought we had an agreement,

you can't make coffee.

I make my own.

-Fine.

Just trying to help.

That postman should really
take more care.

-Pauline, you opened this.

-No, I didn't.

Good person has an emergency.

You can go in now.

-You're lying.

-Well, maybe I am, but that
doesn't give you the right to

accuse me of opening your
post when you're about

to run off to London.

-I have every right to accuse
you of opening my post if, in

fact, you have opened my
post, which you have.

-Well, how else was
I gonna find out?

I just turn up at work one day
and find the place empty.

-That wouldn't happen.

There's a new doctor
taking over.

-What's going to happen to me?

-I'll give you a reference.

-Or you'll tell the new
doctor to keep me.

-No, I can't do that.

If he doesn't have a
job for you, then...

-well...

-uh, you'll have to find
alternative employment.

Pauline said you have
an emergency.

-I'm constipated.

-Pauline, was wrong then.

-It is quite uncomfortable.

-Stand up.

You in pin now?

-Well, not in pain as such,
but I do feel a bit sick.

-You tried laxatives?

-No.

-Well, go to Mrs. Tishell
and get some.

If that doesn't work, come back
and see my replacement.

-Well, is that it then?

-No, you have really bad breath.

Get some mouthwash while
you're there.

-Hm.

-She been in the wars?

-Oh, the older ones keep picking
on her, poor thing.

-I'd dab her with pine tar.

-Oh, I use a mixture of cayenne
pepper and garlic

powder myself.

The cayenne staunches the
bleeding and the garlic has

antibiotic qualities.

Heals them up in no time.

-Plus she's already seasoned
for the oven.

-So how did you get
on with Martin?

-Well, I wouldn't give
him full marks

for his bedside manner.

-There's not many as would.

Now, let me show you
to your room.

My first paying guest.

I excuse me.

-Is that all your luggage?

-Yeah, I'm not planning
on stay very long.

Got a financial advisor working
out how I can pay off

my debts and open up
the farm again.

-Well, perhaps I should
just book you in

for a couple of nights.

-Well, 20 pounds a night is
as much as I can afford.

-Well, actually it's
30 pounds a night.

Ted.

Ted.

-The reference.

-Competent?

-Hm?

-What's that suppose to mean?

-Means you've improved.

-I'm going to lunch.

If you think I'm competent
enough to eat a sandwich.

I want you to
imagine you're standing in

an operating theater,
controlling the area you stand

in, your domain.

Imagine standing there in your
scrubs, patient is prepped and

the field is sterile.

Try and remember how it felt
to be there, try and recall

every scent.

You walk towards the patient,
you pick up a scalpel, you

prepare to begin...

The operation.

-Doc?

Remember to keep breathing.

-Is it true?

-Is what true?

-Word on the street.

You're heading back to London?

-That's of no concern to you.

-Is there nothing I can say,
nothing I can do to make you

change your mind?

-No.

-You know, I could always
transfer to the MIT.

-You couldn't.

-Why not?

-As far as I'm aware, they don't
employ people who have a

history of narcolepsy,
agoraphobia, and in general

ineptitude.

-But you can get a medical job
in London even though you're

scared of blood.

-I'm not scared of blood.

-How come?

-Good bye.

-I'll miss our little chats.

-Hm.

-If I don't do something
properly you will tell me

won't you?

-Of course, yeah.

-You're a Guinea pig, as it
were, good to test the water

with someone I know.

-The tea's too milky.

-Oh, sorry.

Thank you for pointing it out.

Would you like some hot pot?

-Is it free?

-Supper's not included
in the price.

-Then I'll say no.

I'm not that hungry.

-You feeling any better?

-Not really, no.

-I'm sorry to hear that.

-Your telephone's definitely
working?

That...

That financial bloke said he'd
ring this afternoon.

-Do you really think that you'll
get back to your farm?

-It's my home.

-Couldn't your daughter help?

Take you in for a while?

-Brown's as broke as me.

She's offered me a spare
bedroom but it's

a long way to go.

They live in Devon now.

Why would I want to go
and live in Devon?

-When you say, as broke as me,
you have got the cash to pay

me?

-Oh, ow, ow, ow.

Image the
operation continuing, cutting

in deeper, all the time
breathing in and out.

-Evening, Ellingham.

-Edith.

-My speech.

-I thought you were
happy with it.

-I was till I read last years
keynote lecture again.

It made my effort, our effort,
seem a little bit dull.

-So you've inserted a paragraph
of claptrap.

-It's a joke.

-Is it?

-Yes.

-I'm leading with it to put the
audience at their ease.

-Do you think that's
a good idea?

-To put the audience
at their ease?

-You telling a joke.

-Well, I've studied the timing
and inflection, I think I can

pull it off.

You're not still fondling
your comfort blanket?

-That's what it's for, isn't it?

-That's what it was
for, Ellingham.

You should be way past simple
desensitization by now.

We'll travel to the conference
together, yes?

I should be done by 3:30,
so come and pick me up.

I'm busy till 4:00.

Drive yourself, I'll meet
you at the hotel.

-Very good.

We can skip the formal dinner,
but I would like to show my

face at the drinks do.

Wouldn't do you any
harm to mingle.

-I never mingle.

-There may be some people
from imperial.

Wouldn't hurt to say hello.

-What do you want me
to do with that?

-A laparotomy.

-I see.

-Make a midline incision.

-There wouldn't be
that much blood.

-Then it's an emergency
splenectomy.

-A right paramedial incision.

-Well done.

-Big difference between a bag
of blood and a hemorrhaging

patient, though.

-Glad you noticed.

Have a close read of that
speech, will ya?

If you have any suggested
changes, let me know first

thing in the morning.

-Yes.

-See you tomorrow.

-I'm having my breakfast, al.

-Please don't treat, uh,
Pauline like this.

I'm sorry you're leaving, doc,
but I do think you owe her a

decent reference.

-I've given her a reference.

-Oh, come on, doc,
she's worked for

you for three years.

-I know that.

-Yeah, well, what are you doing?

I mean, she's always tried her
best and well, you're hardly

saying thank you for everything
she's ever done.

-She hasn't done that much.

-Ah.

Now, think about that, doc.

Think about that because I know
that you know deep down

inside she's done a lot.

She bled your patients when you
couldn't face it yourself.

She's covered your back, doc.

She kept you going.

So will you change
the reference?

-No.

-Oh, hello, Louisa.

I've just got a few cakes and
doilies for your baby shower.

-Oh, lovely.

-Why do they call it that?

No one actually takes
a shower, do they?

-No.

I've been meaning to say that
once you've had the baby, if

you ever need any help with
anything, anything at all, I

could always send al over
to do whatever you want.

-Oh, I'll be fine, thanks.

-You say that, but you'll
be on your own.

You might need a man
around the house.

-I'll manage on my own and I
won't need any help from you

or all or anyone, Ok?

-I hear what you're saying but
with the doggone bat in

London...

-Bert, I'll see later.

-Morning, Dr. Ellingham.

-The phone's ringing.

-I know.

-Well, answer it then.

-I will answer it, Dr.
Ellingham, just as soon as I

start work.

-What?

-My hours are 9:00
am until 6:00 pm.

I used to take blood from
patients, but I'm assuming you

no longer require my phlebotomy
skills, so you only

want to employ me for my admin
and communication.

It's only 8:57, three minutes
till my duties commence.

Oh, don't worry.

I'm sure they'll call back.

-No, I think I've got a room
free, I just have to check

with my current guest.

-Actually, I would be delighted

to take your booking.

Yeah, right, 0207 right, right.

Well, I look forward
to seeing you then.

Bye-bye.

-Tea?

-Give me a chance.

Did you sleep in that hat?

-Didn't sleep at all.

-I heard you on the landing
a few times.

-Thought the laxative was
starting to work, but it turns

out I was wrong.

-Will you be wanting breakfast?

-No, I'm not really hungry.

Where's that tea?

-It's coming.

I've, um, had a booking from
a family in London.

They want to stay this weekend.

-London, eh?

You ought to charge
them top prices.

And they won't know you're
ripping them off.

-I'm not ripping anyone off.

-Lumpy bed, no kettle in the
bedroom, one pillow, expect me

to pay 20 pounds a night?

-I would prefer 30 pounds and
if you're not happy perhaps

you'd like to find somewhere
else to stay?

-Spot more milk?

-Let out.

Cough.

-It hurts when I cough.

-And again.

-Doc...

-Pauline!

-Got an emergency out here.

-What?

Where's the emergency?

-Mr. Baker's in there.

I think he needs some help.

-Mr. Baker?

Are you ill?

Mr. Baker:
Of course I am.

Why do you think I made
an appointment?

-What's the problem?

Mr. Baker: You've
run out of toilet paper.

-Running out of lavatory paper
isn't an emergency.

Mr. Baker:
It bloody well is.

-I know what you're doing.

This is childishly transparent.

-I don't fetch toilet paper.

It's not part of my
job description.

I answer the phone, do filing,
make appointments.

Everything else is down to you.

-I won't respond to blackmail.

-Suit yourself.

-Get out.

-Excuse me?

-You heard me.

-I almost had her that time.

-If you don't catch one soon,
its baked beans for dinner.

-Oh.

-Are you all right?

-Ooh.

Terrible heartburn.

-Well, from what?

You haven't eaten anything
since you got here.

-Ah, I'll be all right.

Let me give you a
hand with that.

-No, no.

There's no need.

You're a paying guest, remember?

-No, I want to.

Oof, we can kill that
chicken later.

-Surgery.

Is it an emergency?

No, it's not an emergency then.

-Is Pauline here?

-No.

-She said she's got a repeat
prescription for me and that

she'd keep it safe till
I pick it up.

-Take a seat.

Surgery.

-No need to ask if I've
got the right number.

-Edith, I'm very busy.

-So am I Ellingham, but only one
of us is giving a lecture

to a room full of eminent
gynecologists in a matter of

hours.

-What do you want?

-Thought you might want to know,
Nora Hoskins is coming

to the conference.

-Who?

-The emeritus professor of
obstetrics at imperial.

She can't wait to meet you.

She can't wait to have
you join them.

I said that you'd be delighted...

-can we about this when
I get to the hotel?

I have a lot of patients.

-What hotel is that then?

Somewhere nice?

-Mind your own business.

Next patient.

-Oh, I'm next.

-I'm next.

-No, I've been waiting ages.

-You.

-Me so-called financial
advisor just rang.

-And?

-His advice, in a nutshell,
I'm buggered.

-I'm sorry.

-No chance I'll be able
to run the farm again.

No chance I'll even be
able to live there.

It was my dad's farm.

And his dad before him.

Now, I'll have to give
it to the bank.

Find somewhere to go,
something to do.

Oh, what's the matter?

-Oh, it's nothing.

-Well, well, you pulled a face.

-I'm sorry.

It's, um, it's your breath.

-Well, well, what about it?

-It's rather pungent.

Are you saying I stink?

-Did nobody else mentioned it?

-Well, like who?

-Well, like your family,
your friends.

-I haven't got any friends.

My daughter and her kids are my
only family and I haven't

seen them in a year.

Ah!

-Ted!

-Ah!

-I can't turn it anymore
than that.

-Well, don't turn it then.

Stand up, face the window.

-Is it true you're
leaving Portween?

-It's probably just
a muscle spasm.

Apply a hot compress, followed
by a cold compress until you...

-you want me to get the
phone for you, doc?

-No.

Get out.

-Right you are.

-There's a rumor you're
off back to London.

-Get out!

-Martin, I think Ted's having
a heart attack.

-Oh, would you go?

-Have you finished with me?

-He's been complaining
about chest pains.

Actually, he's been complaining
about almost

everything.

-Here, lie on the couch.

Have you had a bowel movement
since we last met?

Oh.

Have you eaten anything?

-No.

Haven't felt like it.

But I bet she still charges
for breakfast.

-I'm not a charity.

-Ah, you're worse
than the banks.

-Stop talking.

-Martin, you do realize
it's bedlam out there.

-Yes.

-Where's Pauline?

-Thank you.

-Yeah, as soon as he realizes
how vital I am to running that

surgery, he'll beg for me
to work there again.

What?

-Doc's not really a begging
kind, is he?

Firing, yeah.

Writing a bad reference, no
problem, but begging?

Anyway, he's still off to
London, so it's the new doctor

you've got too impress.

Without a better reference,
you got no chance.

-I might have got a better
reference if you said the

right things.

-He's made up his mind, he's
never going to change it.

-Are you trying to depress me?

-I'm being realistic.

-What?

By telling me I'll never work
for anyone else ever again?

-I didn't say that.

Don't be such a drama queen.

-But a jellyfish stung me.

-Jellyfish?

-Stung me.

-Ok.

Better take you to the doctor.

-No, I don't want to see him.

-All right, stick your leg up.

-What are you doing?

Well, in fact, urine stops the
jellyfish sting from hurting

so much.

-Oh, that's disgusting.

Take me to the doc.

-Stand up, stand up.

-These all seem perfectly
normal.

-You sure?

I feel like I'm going to burst.

-Oh, god.

Lie down.

Unbuckle your belt, undo the top
button of your trousers.

Does that hurt?

-No.

-Well, it's not peritonitis.

Ew.

If you must breath, would
you turn your head

the other way, please?

Does it hurt there?

-No, it's fine.

-You sure?

-Yeah, why?

-There's a significant
mass in your abdomen.

Could be a growth.

Could be a tumor.

-What?

Like cancer?

-Possibly.

I'll book you in for an
ultra sound scan and a

CT as soon as possible.

In the meantime...

-yeah, try not to worry.

-Pull your trousers up.

-Doc, got a jellyfish sting.

-I was gonna wee on her leg
but she wouldn't let me.

-That's a myth.

Don't do it again.

Um, auntie Joan, would you tale
Mr. Nugent home, please?

-Do I have to?

-Yes.

Out of here.

Come on, all of you.

You too, al.

No, not you.

You're my patient,
you stay there.

-I've never been your
patient before.

All these years, I've always
been the one sending them in,

not the one being examined.

-Hop up here.

-What are you going to do?

-Going to remove the Nemesis.

-You mean the stingy thingies.

-Shush.

-I don't want things to end
like this between us.

And I can tell you
feel the same.

Hm.

It's gonna be weird without you.

I'm nit looking forward to it.

Especially if we can't get
things back to how they were

before I quit.

-You didn't quit,
I dismissed you.

-Only cause I made you do it.

Anyway, maybe we can just forget
about what happened and

I'll work normally and you
can change my reference.

-I'm not changing
your reference.

-Oh, don't leave us, doc.

-I hope the new doc's
better looking.

Oh, can I come to London
with you, doc?

-Louisa, we really should
discuss some practicalities

about the baby.

-Do you want to do that now,
through the window, with the

engine running?

-Uh, no, I'm late for
a conference.

-And I'm late for a baby shower.

-What's that?

-Bert's idea.

It's at the restaurant,
presents, food, drink.

You don't know what I'm
talking about, do you?

-Can we at least agreed to
meet up at some point?

Ellingham.

-Marty, Marty, can you get
to the farm right away?

It's Ted Nugent again.

-Now what?

He's not at all well.

-Yes, I know that,
that's why i...

-i think he's dying.

-I'm on my way.

I have to go.

-Well, me too.

-I'll call you.

Edith: I've
made him a cup of tea.

-Oh, that's nice.

You said he was dying.

-Well, I thought he was.

-I'm late for a conference,
you know.

Ah.

-Please stop him from
doing that.

-Feels like something wants
to come up, doc.

-I've ordered you a CT
scan for Monday.

That lump could be causing you
some abdominal discomfort.

-Tumor, it burns something
terrible.

-Do you have any antacid
solution?

-What?

-For heartburn or indigestion,
anything like that?

-Yes, yes.

-Good, that should ease
your discomfort.

Ellingham.

-You on your way?

-I'm with a patient.

-Is that just an excuse you trot
out whenever you're late?

-Of course not.

-Call an ambulance.

We won't have time to talk
through my speech if you

insist on helping the
great unwashed.

-I'll see you at the hotel.

Mr. Nugent?

-Will this help?

-Would you please take
off your hat?

-What?

Take off my lucky hat?

-Oh my god.

That heads been on my linen.

Oh.

-What's happened to your hair?

Have you been eating it?

-What are you talking about?

-Be quiet.

Have you been eating your
hair, Mr. Nugent?

-Maybe, I suppose.

Does it really matter?

-Given the state of you I'd say
it was a question worth

asking, yes.

-Makes me feel better.

Pulling it, chewing it.

It's not all that odd.

-It's a condition called
trichophagia they eat the hair

but it can't be digested.

So it stays in the stomach
and forms a solid mass.

-What you mean?

He's got a sort of hairball
inside him?

-Like a cat.

-Wha... Wha...

What do I do?

-Well, for a start, you
stop eating your hair.

And then you go to a hospital
where they surgically remove

the trichobezoar, the hairball.

-Oh.

-Oh my god.

Is that...

Is that it?

-No, that's not the whole thing.

That's just a few hairs that
didn't attach themselves to

the main, uh, ball.

Oh, he'll need to go
to a hospital.

I'll call an ambulance.

He'll also need some psychiatric
treatment.

-I'm not mad.

-He's just very stressed.

-Stressed?

-Yeah, I been racking up debts
left, right, and Center.

I've lost my farm.

The farm that belonged
to my dad...

-ambulance, this is
Dr. Ellingham.

-Now Ted, you're not to worry.

I'm not expecting
you to pay for...

-i...

-no, no, no.

That's the least I can do.

Now, I'm going to go upstairs
and I'm going to pack your

things and I'm going
to put them in the

ambulance with you.

And then I'm going to ring you
daughter and make sure she

collects you from hospital
as soon as possible.

You're going to love
living in Devon.

-Having fun?

-I didn't expect such
a good turned out.

-Everyone in the village
loves you.

-Oh, I don't know of that's...

-well, maybe not everyone but
let's not talk about him.

-Who do you mean?

-I just wanted to say you, that
if you need anything done

around your house my Dave
is available 24/7.

-Thank you, very kind.

That's the third woman
who's offered me

a husband on demand.

Like I'm suddenly incapable
of changing a fuse.

Oh, really, you shouldn't have.

-Enjoying the party?

Scoot over, would you?

-Oh, yes, thank you.

-It's tinged with sadness,
isn't it?

-Is it?

I hadn't noticed.

-Leaving you to raise a child by
yourself is one thing, but

actually leaving the village.

-There's not much defense
really, is there?

-You can tell me if
you don't like it.

-Oh, what's not to like?

-I do hope your baby loves
monkeys as much as

my little Davy did.

He's still my little Davy,
even though he's 13

and fat as a pig.

-Oh, the doc should hang
his head in shame.

-Always thought he was a tosser.

-You ever look at his eyes?

Far too close together.

-Maybe you're lucky.

Imagine the kind of
father he'd been.

-It isn't worth thinking about.

-And why not?

-What?

-I mean, he has his problems
with commitment and then some.

And sure, yeah, he has
his problems but,

you know, who hasn't?

-Let's not talk about him.

-His eyes aren't too close
together anyway, are they?

-Speech time.

-Oh, I haven't prepared
anything.

-No, not you, dad.

-Oh, sorry.

-Quiet down, my ladies,
for the house,

there's a toast to propose.

Now, quite a few of you have
said that you think it's

peculiar that this baby has
been organized by a man.

But it's a very unconventional
party for a very

unconventional mother to be.

Most women get married before
they have their babies.

And I can tell Louisa that it's
not easy to bring up a

child all by yourself.

But I've been there,
done that, and

grown out of the t-shirt.

And al has turned out Ok, and
I'm sure that Louisa's baby

will be just fine as long as
it's nothing like its father.

But to be honest, he's a
pretty good doc, right?

Well, we have to admit
that, right?

-Yes.

-So, if you'd like to raise your
glasses we'll wish Louisa

all the luck in the world
because, by god, she's going

to need it.

Louisa Glasson.

-Louisa.

-Thank you.

Thank you.

-Ellingham.

I have a reservation.

-Ah, yeah.

Mr. Ellingham.

-Doctor.

-If you could just sign
here, please?

-Hm-huh.

-Help you find your room, sir?

-No, I can count.

-Good evening.

Come in.

Traffic terrible?

-Uh, no, complication
with my patient.

We're sharing?

-Well, I find that a night
together works out better if

both parties are in
the same room.

Don't you think?

-Yes.

-Any last minute thoughts
on my speech?

-Yes, I thought the conclusion
could take a little

-No, it couldn't.

What else?

You make reference to

Work but you don't credit him.

-Can't stand the man.

-Well, that's it then.

-Oh, good.

Thank you, feedback appreciated.

I will, of course, acknowledge
your contribution.

-There's no need.

-But you enjoyed the process?

-Yes.

-Air conditioning safely off.

-The ducts are a breeding
ground...

-breeding ground for bacteria
and microbes.

Yes, I know.

-Much better to have
an open window.

-It's not to warm.

-It feels warm.

-Well, take your jacket off.

-No.

Shouldn't you be mingling?

-I know who I have to talk to
and what I have to say to

them, but I don't mean it.

Our schedule is speech,
applause, dinner, bed.

You know, a little networking
would ease your return from

the wilderness.

Although, I suggest you restrict
yourself to a simple

knowing nod until you
get the hang of it.

-Hm.

-You're not shy, are you?

-Uh, no, I'm just, um...

-i know it's been a while,
Ellingham, but you've seen me

naked before.

-Yes, I'll just give
you some space.

-Nothing's changed.

Just less springy.

Compliment me.

-What?

-Oh, I've missed you, Ellingham.

-Don't sit down.

-Here, take that.

-Thank you.

We should be heading downstairs.

I don't want you to near the
front, six or seven rows back,

somewhere in the middle
should be fine.

Any signs of life?

-No.

-No bedbugs.

Can I go and make my speech now?

-Come in.

You might want to rethink your
route from the kitchen.

I ordered an hour ago.

-Apologies, the convention is
slowing everything down.

-Well, yes.

I understand that.

I took the precaution of
ordering in good time so this

wouldn't happen.

-A bit short staffed actually.

-Not my concern.

If my blood sugar level drops
I lack concentration.

-Do you feel unwell?

-Ellingham, will you let the
man get on with his job?

Thank you so much for
coming all this way.

-See that?

His temporal arteries
were distended.

-What?

-The waiter.

His gait was stiff.

-My sandwich is soggy,
neither of which

is a medical emergency.

Where are you going?

-The man has a condition he
might not know about,

polymyalgia rheumatica.

-Well, you should have
told him that when

he was in the room.

-You interrupted me.

He could lose his sight.

Don't worry, I'll be back.

-This is my night, Ellingham.

-Hello.

Out of the way.

-Wait.

-Wait.

-You're not allowed in here.

-Not now, I'm looking
for someone.

-Excuse me, please.

-Yes.

Waiter.

-Ahhh.

-Get an ambulance.

-Oh god, oh god, oh god.

-All right, give me your hand.

-No, I'll be fine.

-I have to...

-no, I'll be...

-i need to have a look at it.

-Let go.

What are you doing?

-I'm a kitchen first aider.

Excuse me.

-I'm a doctor, give me a towel.

-Ok.

-Oh, is it bad?

-Towel.

A clean one.

Will it need stitches?

-Of course it will need
stitches, especially if they

need to reattach the tip.

-I think I'm going to throw up.

-No, you're not.

Here, sit down.

You, come here.

Hold that.

-I've got blood on
the pineapple.

-Breathe through your mouth.

Hold it up.

You know your temporal
arteries are swollen?

-Oh my god, why?

-Not you.

You.

You have pain in your shoulders
in the morning?

-Yes, but I carry trays all day.

-You should make an appointment
with your GP as

soon as possible.

-But I'm bleeding to death.

-No, you're not.

Tell him you could be suffering
from a condition

called polymyalgia rheumatica.

-Poly what?

-Polymy...

Here, give me that.

Polymyalgia rheumatica.

If left untreated you could
lose your sight.

Make an emergency appointment.

Now, let's look for
this man's finger.

Come on.

-No, not just a cut.

He was using a meat slicing
machine so his finger's...

Not the whole finger but there's
an awful lot of blood.

Ok, thanks.

-Everything all right?

-If it gets any worse, I'll
give you a shout.

It'll be here in five minutes.

-All right, come on, look
for this finger.

-Ellingham.

What are you doing?

-Look for a finger.

-You're bloody.

-Yes.

-And not nauseous.

Congratulations.

-Found it.

All right, don't touch it.

Um, give me some ice and
some clean film.

-Your work here is done.

-Not yet.

-Is an ambulance on its way?

-Just called it myself.

-Then you can leave.

Go and get changed, try
not to be late.

-Should I turn the
bed down, sir?

-Um, yes.

-It takes the doctor precisely
two seconds to tell her your

daughter is pregnant.

But she's never even
kissed a boy.

It's impossible she's pregnant.

The doctor walks over to the
window and takes a look at the

sky, and says, the last time
something like this happened,

three wise men on camels
saw a star in the east.

-Um, an old joke, yes, but one
which takes me to the very

heart of my lecture.