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1
00:00:46,510 --> 00:00:50,510
GIRL [SINGING]:
Forget me, you're on your way
2
00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:55,020
We don't have to stay in touch
3
00:00:55,190 --> 00:00:59,190
We may remember someday
4
00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:05,360
Till then it doesn't matter that much
5
00:01:07,530 --> 00:01:11,660
Someday I'll have to wonder
6
00:01:11,830 --> 00:01:15,750
And dreams may cloud the truth
7
00:01:15,910 --> 00:01:19,960
But if you promise me
8
00:01:20,130 --> 00:01:24,170
I promise I'll never forget you
9
00:01:24,340 --> 00:01:28,340
Forget the tears we cried
10
00:01:28,510 --> 00:01:32,640
Forget the good times too
11
00:01:32,810 --> 00:01:36,600
Forget the pain inside
12
00:01:36,770 --> 00:01:38,640
RICH:
You will never see her again.
13
00:01:38,810 --> 00:01:40,150
[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
14
00:01:41,060 --> 00:01:45,730
Dude, after graduation, she'll be
gone until like the tenth reunion...
15
00:01:45,900 --> 00:01:47,530
...if you both even live
that long.
16
00:01:47,700 --> 00:01:52,620
And she'll be so very pregnant by
then, baking someone else's DNA.
17
00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:55,990
And she'll have this, like, big,
pregnant cow grin on her face.
18
00:01:56,160 --> 00:01:57,830
She won't even remember
who you are.
19
00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:00,080
Well, I sat behind her
in almost every class.
20
00:02:00,250 --> 00:02:02,330
Behind her.
Shh.
21
00:02:03,420 --> 00:02:05,300
Behind her.
She never saw you, dude.
22
00:02:05,460 --> 00:02:10,800
You don't give this big speech
at graduation, you don't exist.
23
00:02:10,970 --> 00:02:15,350
No, Denis, if you... If you don't
do this... If you don't do this...
24
00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:17,020
[AS HUMPHREY BOGART]
"You'll regret it.
25
00:02:17,180 --> 00:02:19,060
Maybe not today,
maybe not tomorrow, but soon...
26
00:02:19,230 --> 00:02:21,350
...and for the rest of your life."
27
00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:23,190
What are you talking about?
28
00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:25,360
[IN NORMAL VOICE]
Come on, it's Casablanca, 1942...
29
00:02:25,530 --> 00:02:26,780
...Michael Curtiz, director.
30
00:02:26,940 --> 00:02:28,440
Bogart, dude!
LIBRARIAN: Shh.
31
00:02:28,610 --> 00:02:30,070
Seriously?
32
00:02:30,610 --> 00:02:31,950
[WHISPERING]
Bogart.
33
00:02:34,950 --> 00:02:36,950
[GUITAR PLAYING]
34
00:02:46,210 --> 00:02:47,380
Thank you, Angelica.
35
00:02:47,550 --> 00:02:50,050
It's Angelica. Whatever.
36
00:02:50,840 --> 00:02:51,880
Angelica.
37
00:02:52,050 --> 00:02:57,140
Thank you for that rousing
rendition of "Forget Me."
38
00:02:57,720 --> 00:03:02,480
Next, and finally,
your valedictorian...
39
00:03:02,650 --> 00:03:03,940
...Denis Cooverman.
40
00:03:15,950 --> 00:03:17,280
[CLEARS THROAT]
41
00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:24,670
Today we look forward.
42
00:03:25,340 --> 00:03:29,210
Look forward to getting out of here.
43
00:03:29,380 --> 00:03:31,380
[CHUCKLING]
44
00:03:31,670 --> 00:03:33,090
Heh, heh, heh.
45
00:03:34,970 --> 00:03:39,970
But today, I would also like
to look back...
46
00:03:40,140 --> 00:03:45,400
...look back on our four years here
at Buffalo Glenn High School...
47
00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:49,320
...looking back not with anger...
48
00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:53,240
...but with no regrets.
49
00:03:54,910 --> 00:03:59,280
No regrets for what we wanted to do...
50
00:03:59,450 --> 00:04:01,370
...but did not...
51
00:04:01,540 --> 00:04:05,370
...what we wanted to say...
52
00:04:05,540 --> 00:04:08,880
...but could not.
53
00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:16,300
And so I say here today...
54
00:04:16,470 --> 00:04:19,510
...the one thing I wish I had said...
55
00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:25,890
...the one thing I know I will
regret if I never say:
56
00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:30,400
I love you, Beth Cooper.
57
00:04:30,780 --> 00:04:32,780
[STUDENTS MURMURING
INDISTINCTLY]
58
00:04:42,540 --> 00:04:43,910
[WHISPERING]
He likes you.
59
00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:47,420
I have loved you, Beth Cooper...
60
00:04:47,580 --> 00:04:53,590
...since I first sat behind you in Ms.
Rosa's math class in the 7th grade.
61
00:04:53,880 --> 00:04:54,920
Heh.
62
00:04:55,090 --> 00:04:59,930
I loved you when I sat behind you
in Senor Weidner's Spanish...
63
00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:04,100
...and Ms. Calumet-Hobey's
Literature of the Oppressed.
64
00:05:04,270 --> 00:05:06,180
I loved you from behind...
65
00:05:06,350 --> 00:05:07,560
[PEOPLE GROAN]
66
00:05:07,730 --> 00:05:14,280
...in Biology, History, and,
yes, Practical Science.
67
00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:19,740
I loved you, but I never told you
because we never spoke.
68
00:05:19,910 --> 00:05:21,120
Unbelievable.
69
00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:25,750
But now I say it, with no regrets.
70
00:05:26,290 --> 00:05:31,790
I love you, Beth Cooper.
71
00:05:32,460 --> 00:05:37,970
And so let us all say the things
that we longed to say...
72
00:05:38,130 --> 00:05:40,840
...but our tongues would not.
73
00:05:41,010 --> 00:05:43,760
Let us be unafraid to admit:
74
00:05:43,930 --> 00:05:48,980
"I have an eating disorder,
and I need help."
75
00:05:49,150 --> 00:05:51,690
Let us confess:
76
00:05:51,860 --> 00:05:54,520
"I'm a stuck-up bitch...
77
00:05:54,690 --> 00:06:00,240
...because deep down,
I believe I am worthless."
78
00:06:00,410 --> 00:06:02,410
Let us declare:
79
00:06:02,580 --> 00:06:06,660
"I'm a big, dumb moron.
80
00:06:06,830 --> 00:06:12,330
I'm a big old asshole who
beats up on other kids...
81
00:06:12,500 --> 00:06:18,090
...because I was unloved as a baby...
82
00:06:18,260 --> 00:06:21,510
...or was sexually abused
or something.
83
00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:24,850
I am sorry for the cruel swirlies...
84
00:06:25,010 --> 00:06:26,430
...the pink bellies...
85
00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:28,680
...the purple nurples."
86
00:06:29,310 --> 00:06:35,860
And let us, no, let all of us vow:
87
00:06:36,280 --> 00:06:41,360
"When I graduate, I'm not gonna keep
hanging around my old high school...
88
00:06:41,530 --> 00:06:43,700
...like some kind of creepy loser...
89
00:06:43,870 --> 00:06:46,200
...who can't get an adult girlfriend."
90
00:06:46,370 --> 00:06:49,620
You know who you are. You.
91
00:06:49,790 --> 00:06:51,620
[PEOPLE MURMURING
INDISTINCTLY]
92
00:06:53,250 --> 00:06:58,420
And, yes, let us not regret...
93
00:06:58,590 --> 00:07:03,340
...that we never told
our own best friend:
94
00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:09,220
"I'm gay, dude.
95
00:07:09,390 --> 00:07:11,560
I'm totally gay."
96
00:07:11,730 --> 00:07:12,810
[MOUTHING]
I'm not gay.
97
00:07:12,980 --> 00:07:14,810
DENIS:
Yes.
98
00:07:14,980 --> 00:07:16,980
Indeed. Let us all...
99
00:07:17,150 --> 00:07:18,730
Thank you, Denis.
100
00:07:18,900 --> 00:07:21,990
Food for thought.
Thank you.
101
00:07:22,990 --> 00:07:24,070
Thank you.
102
00:07:26,870 --> 00:07:28,080
Wow.
103
00:07:34,420 --> 00:07:36,420
[CHATTERING]
104
00:07:41,260 --> 00:07:42,760
MAN:
Perfect.
105
00:07:43,300 --> 00:07:44,430
Whoa.
Oh.
106
00:07:44,590 --> 00:07:46,430
It's okay.
Sorry.
107
00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:49,640
Sorry.
MAN: All right.
108
00:08:02,110 --> 00:08:04,530
Mr. Cooverman, hi.
Hey! Hello.
109
00:08:04,700 --> 00:08:06,820
I've never known you to
do anything so reckless...
110
00:08:06,990 --> 00:08:08,030
...really at all reckless.
111
00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:09,620
Well, thank you.
112
00:08:09,790 --> 00:08:11,790
Uh, no. That is not
what I would expect...
113
00:08:11,950 --> 00:08:14,290
...from somebody
who is going to Stanford.
114
00:08:14,460 --> 00:08:15,620
You know one call from me...
115
00:08:15,790 --> 00:08:18,250
...and you could be going
to Harper Community College.
116
00:08:18,420 --> 00:08:20,840
That would be unimaginable.
You can't...
117
00:08:21,010 --> 00:08:23,720
Look, I don't know why I did th...
Who was that?
118
00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:26,510
That wasn't me.
I was under an influence.
119
00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:28,260
Are you drunk?
What?
120
00:08:29,010 --> 00:08:32,970
I just meant my thinking
had been compromised.
121
00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:37,480
Look, Rich told me if...
Rich Munsch?
122
00:08:37,650 --> 00:08:38,730
Yeah.
123
00:08:38,900 --> 00:08:43,490
I wouldn't take heterosexual
advice from Rich Munsch.
124
00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:45,650
But he was right.
125
00:08:45,820 --> 00:08:48,950
I mean, I had to do something.
126
00:08:49,530 --> 00:08:54,580
I'm not there in her brain.
She will have no memory of me.
127
00:08:54,750 --> 00:08:55,790
So?
128
00:08:55,960 --> 00:09:01,000
So? Come on, Dr. Gleason,
haven't you ever been in love?
129
00:09:16,060 --> 00:09:18,060
[BOTH MOANING]
130
00:09:25,610 --> 00:09:29,410
MAN:
Your nipples are so weird.
131
00:09:36,500 --> 00:09:40,830
Denis, there's another
Beth Cooper out there.
132
00:09:41,500 --> 00:09:43,000
One just for you.
133
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:02,150
You embarrassed me.
134
00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:04,650
Uh...
135
00:10:05,320 --> 00:10:08,150
But it was so sweet,
I'll have to let you live.
136
00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:09,360
[SIGHS]
137
00:10:09,530 --> 00:10:14,030
Well, that's good.
Because I like to live.
138
00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:17,200
Is it like 800 degrees
in there, like boiling?
139
00:10:17,370 --> 00:10:23,460
Actually, the boiling point of water
is 212 degrees Fahrenheit...
140
00:10:24,460 --> 00:10:26,760
...100 degrees Celsius.
141
00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:29,170
I am so hot.
142
00:10:29,340 --> 00:10:31,430
I can imagine...
143
00:10:31,590 --> 00:10:33,680
...that you're hot.
144
00:10:33,850 --> 00:10:37,100
Hey. So I'm not gay, dude.
145
00:10:37,270 --> 00:10:39,930
Rich, hi.
146
00:10:41,850 --> 00:10:44,310
Hello, hi, hey. Hi.
147
00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:47,400
I didn't realize
there was a line here.
148
00:10:47,570 --> 00:10:49,440
No, no, that's okay.
I gotta go.
149
00:10:49,610 --> 00:10:52,700
Halt! I mean, wait.
150
00:10:52,870 --> 00:10:55,280
There's a little soirée
at my house tonight.
151
00:10:55,450 --> 00:10:56,450
Course that's redundant...
152
00:10:56,620 --> 00:10:58,290
...I don't know what
I'm talking about.
153
00:10:58,450 --> 00:11:02,790
No, a party. More of a party than
a French thing. Music, drinks, prizes.
154
00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:04,210
Party.
155
00:11:04,380 --> 00:11:07,460
Sounds fun.
It is fun, will be, in the future.
156
00:11:07,630 --> 00:11:10,340
And goddamn it,
you're invited, officially.
157
00:11:10,510 --> 00:11:12,010
Wow.
158
00:11:12,300 --> 00:11:13,300
Thanks.
159
00:11:13,470 --> 00:11:15,140
6337 Hackberry Drive...
160
00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:18,350
...ZIP's 98401,
if you’re Mapquesting.
161
00:11:18,520 --> 00:11:19,930
Well, maybe we could stop by.
162
00:11:20,100 --> 00:11:21,230
Cool, or not,
whatever.
163
00:11:21,390 --> 00:11:24,150
I mean, you come, you come.
If you don't, you don't.
164
00:11:24,360 --> 00:11:28,480
You humiliated me
and insulted her.
165
00:11:29,150 --> 00:11:30,990
Are you prepared to die?
166
00:11:31,360 --> 00:11:33,490
[MOUTHING]
Sorry.
167
00:11:33,820 --> 00:11:34,820
[GROANING]
168
00:11:34,990 --> 00:11:37,410
You must be
Beth Cooper's boyfriend.
169
00:11:38,830 --> 00:11:40,830
I have to go
to the bathroom.
170
00:11:42,040 --> 00:11:43,370
Um...
171
00:11:44,420 --> 00:11:46,420
[GRUNTING]
172
00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:53,430
I'm gonna give you ten seconds to
convince me why I should let you live.
173
00:11:54,220 --> 00:11:57,510
I think you mean "persuade," not
"convince."
174
00:11:57,680 --> 00:11:59,010
Is there a problem here?
175
00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:10,070
No, ma'am.
176
00:12:11,190 --> 00:12:13,360
My hand,
it just slipped.
177
00:12:13,820 --> 00:12:18,030
You know I can't allow you
to kill him on school property?
178
00:12:18,490 --> 00:12:19,620
Yes, ma'am.
179
00:12:19,790 --> 00:12:20,830
[GASPING]
180
00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:23,330
BETH:
Baby. Not nice.
181
00:12:28,710 --> 00:12:30,380
You okay?
Great, yeah.
182
00:12:30,550 --> 00:12:34,340
Okay. You know, on the bright side,
Beth Cooper talked to you.
183
00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:37,050
GIRL 1: Whoo!
GIRL 2: Let's go!
184
00:12:37,220 --> 00:12:41,060
GIRL 3: School's out! We did it!
We did it! Party!
185
00:12:41,220 --> 00:12:43,640
Ooh. That can't be good.
186
00:12:44,690 --> 00:12:46,690
[GIRL SHRIEKING]
187
00:12:49,110 --> 00:12:50,150
MAN:
Losers!
188
00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:52,280
All right,
keep in touch.
189
00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:57,410
So, look, I'm not gay,
you know, so... Yeah.
190
00:12:57,570 --> 00:12:59,030
Okay, yeah.
191
00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:02,580
No, I mean, it's cool
if you are, too, really.
192
00:13:02,750 --> 00:13:05,580
Really, I'm not.
No soyhomo.
193
00:13:05,750 --> 00:13:07,290
All right.
That's awesome.
194
00:13:07,460 --> 00:13:09,080
What makes you
think I'm gay?
195
00:13:09,340 --> 00:13:10,590
[CHUCKLES]
196
00:13:10,750 --> 00:13:13,090
I don't know... Everybody
thinks you're gay, Rich.
197
00:13:13,260 --> 00:13:14,710
Well, they don't know me.
You know me.
198
00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:17,010
What makes you
think I'm gay?
199
00:13:19,930 --> 00:13:21,930
[CLASSICAL MUSIC
PLAYING ON TV]
200
00:13:33,110 --> 00:13:35,190
Okay, I got an idea.
201
00:13:35,360 --> 00:13:37,610
I'm Robin Hood.
You're Friar Tuck.
202
00:13:37,780 --> 00:13:40,950
We get your dad's camcorder and
we do a shot-for-shot re-creation...
203
00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:43,700
...of their climactic
sword fight...
204
00:13:44,660 --> 00:13:46,700
...using our boners. Ha.
205
00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:58,800
Nothing in particular,
I guess.
206
00:13:58,970 --> 00:14:00,840
Well, I mean, is it
because of Drama Club?
207
00:14:01,010 --> 00:14:03,970
Because, you know, a lot of
professional actors aren't gay.
208
00:14:04,140 --> 00:14:05,520
More than half.
209
00:14:05,680 --> 00:14:10,440
Rich, it’s just that all through
high school and even before...
210
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:14,440
...you never really
had a girlfriend.
211
00:14:14,610 --> 00:14:16,780
Neither did you.
I tried.
212
00:14:16,940 --> 00:14:18,610
Oh, ha, ha, ha. Patty Keck?
213
00:14:18,780 --> 00:14:21,030
Her, yes.
Your secret shame.
214
00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:24,330
My point is... I had one.
215
00:14:24,490 --> 00:14:26,580
Just so you know, making out
with a girl like that...
216
00:14:26,750 --> 00:14:28,500
I'm not sure that's not gay.
217
00:14:28,660 --> 00:14:30,500
[LAUGHS]
218
00:14:32,630 --> 00:14:35,550
What is this? Give me it.
Let go of it. I wanna see.
219
00:14:36,170 --> 00:14:37,510
No.
Wow.
220
00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:38,840
Whatever.
221
00:14:39,010 --> 00:14:41,180
That's awesome. IPod.
It's silly.
222
00:14:41,340 --> 00:14:43,340
No, that's really nice.
That's great.
223
00:14:43,510 --> 00:14:45,310
Yeah, my mom and dad
gave it...
224
00:14:46,270 --> 00:14:48,140
Dude, you know what
I got for graduation?
225
00:14:48,310 --> 00:14:50,390
No.
A bill.
226
00:14:50,560 --> 00:14:54,770
Yeah, my dad says I owe
him 233,850 bucks.
227
00:14:54,940 --> 00:14:56,610
A quarter of a million dollars?
228
00:14:56,780 --> 00:15:00,030
And then they expect you
to buy your own shoes.
229
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:03,870
Yeah. Well, no, that includes 50 grand
for "wear and tear" on my mother.
230
00:15:05,120 --> 00:15:08,160
She is pretty worn and torn,
you know.
231
00:15:08,330 --> 00:15:09,830
Yeah.
232
00:15:10,750 --> 00:15:15,710
Well, in any case, I'm sorry
your dad's such a dick.
233
00:15:15,880 --> 00:15:19,710
And it was completely itemized,
very detailed.
234
00:15:20,300 --> 00:15:22,510
Who knew he was
paying attention?
235
00:15:35,610 --> 00:15:38,110
Day-oh.
Hey.
236
00:15:38,280 --> 00:15:40,030
Check out the new kicks.
Oh, cool.
237
00:15:40,190 --> 00:15:45,280
Two paychecks. Very Gene Kelly,
circa 1945, don't you think?
238
00:15:45,450 --> 00:15:46,910
Yeah. They're nice.
Dude.
239
00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:48,490
Don't be so nervous.
She's not gonna come.
240
00:15:48,660 --> 00:15:51,660
I'm not nervous, I'm particular.
There's a difference.
241
00:15:51,830 --> 00:15:53,160
You know what,
they can smell fear.
242
00:15:53,330 --> 00:15:55,960
No, they can't.
I can smell it.
243
00:15:57,630 --> 00:15:58,670
Ooh.
Ooh.
244
00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:00,130
Fear.
Mm.
245
00:16:00,300 --> 00:16:03,470
You know, puberty has done
nothing but screw me.
246
00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:04,840
Dude, what are you doing?
247
00:16:05,010 --> 00:16:06,680
I'm airing out my shirt.
248
00:16:06,850 --> 00:16:07,890
What?
Come on.
249
00:16:08,060 --> 00:16:09,310
I don't want a stinky shirt.
250
00:16:09,470 --> 00:16:11,680
Dude. Ha, ha, ha.
251
00:16:11,850 --> 00:16:13,940
DENIS: Why are you laughing?
This is how you do this.
252
00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:17,690
Hey. Mom, Dad.
253
00:16:17,860 --> 00:16:19,770
Well, it looks like this
party's well underway.
254
00:16:19,940 --> 00:16:21,190
Hola, Mrs. C.
255
00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:22,820
Rich, don't call me Mrs. C,
I mean it.
256
00:16:22,990 --> 00:16:25,610
Now get off the counter.
Oh.
257
00:16:25,780 --> 00:16:27,620
Denis Petey Cooverman,
look at you.
258
00:16:27,780 --> 00:16:29,080
You look so cute.
259
00:16:29,540 --> 00:16:31,450
Super cute.
260
00:16:31,620 --> 00:16:32,660
She doesn't mean that.
261
00:16:32,830 --> 00:16:34,080
You look good.
You look cool.
262
00:16:34,250 --> 00:16:35,290
Yeah.
263
00:16:35,460 --> 00:16:39,130
You just might want to lower the
waist of those pants a little bit.
264
00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:41,880
Oh, you're not wearing
those awful underpants.
265
00:16:42,050 --> 00:16:43,300
DENIS:
Mom. God.
266
00:16:43,470 --> 00:16:44,920
COOVERMAN:
I gotta go along with your mom...
267
00:16:45,090 --> 00:16:47,430
...on the lucky underpants, buddy.
What if you do get lucky?
268
00:16:47,590 --> 00:16:49,890
Once she gets to the underpants,
they're a deal breaker.
269
00:16:50,060 --> 00:16:51,810
RICH:
They are not nice underpants.
270
00:16:51,970 --> 00:16:54,640
He is not wearing those ratty things,
and he's not getting lucky.
271
00:16:54,810 --> 00:16:57,150
Not on my watch.
272
00:16:58,650 --> 00:17:01,650
So, how many people are you
expecting at this shin-dizzle?
273
00:17:01,820 --> 00:17:04,110
Oh, not too many.
None.
274
00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:07,820
Well, it wouldn’t be a celebration
without champagne.
275
00:17:07,990 --> 00:17:11,080
Oh.
Oh, ho, ho. That is negligent.
276
00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:13,040
My dad used to give me
an occasional beer...
277
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:15,330
...but that was just to
get me to take a nap.
278
00:17:16,170 --> 00:17:19,250
Well, one glass per guest.
And no one who drinks, drives.
279
00:17:19,420 --> 00:17:22,300
And I know exactly how many
bottles are in the wine rack: 23.
280
00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:24,340
Here's all of our numbers.
Lfan...
281
00:17:24,510 --> 00:17:27,180
If anybody's dead or on fire,
call 911 first.
282
00:17:27,340 --> 00:17:28,630
[CHUCKLING]
283
00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:30,430
What's the matter?
Bad advice?
284
00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:33,100
I have to get my purse.
I'll meet you out front.
285
00:17:33,270 --> 00:17:35,100
Honey, have fun.
DENIS: Okay.
286
00:17:35,270 --> 00:17:36,350
Not too much fun.
287
00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:39,100
Not much danger
of that, Mrs. C.
288
00:17:39,270 --> 00:17:41,110
Bye, Mom!
Bye, honey.
289
00:17:41,730 --> 00:17:43,860
Denis, let me talk to you.
290
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:52,410
Okay, look. This is your
last summer before college.
291
00:17:52,580 --> 00:17:54,200
That accelerated
medical program...
292
00:17:54,370 --> 00:17:56,250
...isn't gonna leave time
for parties...
293
00:17:56,410 --> 00:17:58,500
...so I want you to enjoy
this summer.
294
00:17:58,670 --> 00:18:00,210
Okay, yeah, sure, no,
I'll try.
295
00:18:00,380 --> 00:18:01,460
Get out there!
296
00:18:01,630 --> 00:18:04,550
Do all those teen things you
haven't had a chance to do.
297
00:18:04,710 --> 00:18:06,880
That's gonna be hard.
He hasn't done any of them.
298
00:18:07,220 --> 00:18:11,300
You know, this whole teenager
coming-of-age thing, I mean...
299
00:18:11,470 --> 00:18:13,850
...it's a relatively new construct.
300
00:18:14,010 --> 00:18:16,390
They came up with it in the Fifties,
so...
301
00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:18,890
It's okay just
to have fun sometimes.
302
00:18:19,060 --> 00:18:22,400
Sometimes you just have to say,
"What the F."
303
00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:25,230
Curtis Armstrong, Risky Business,
1983, Paul Brickman.
304
00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:30,070
Except he didn't say "F,"
he said "Fuck."
305
00:18:30,780 --> 00:18:32,240
[CHUCKLES]
306
00:18:32,450 --> 00:18:35,330
You know what I mean.
Carpe diem.
307
00:18:35,490 --> 00:18:38,870
DENIS: I didn't know you were
such a movie buff, Mr. C.
308
00:18:39,040 --> 00:18:40,710
Robin Williams in
Dead Poets Society.
309
00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:45,420
Yes, thank you. Thank you,
Rich. We know. It's good.
310
00:18:45,590 --> 00:18:47,260
Come here, please.
311
00:18:51,970 --> 00:18:56,680
There are condoms
in my bedside table.
312
00:18:59,270 --> 00:19:02,770
Do you, like, know exactly
how many there are?
313
00:19:03,940 --> 00:19:07,940
They are not toys.
314
00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:12,450
Yeah.
Sure.
315
00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:20,120
I think my dad wants us
to have sex.
316
00:19:20,790 --> 00:19:22,500
With each other?
No.
317
00:19:22,670 --> 00:19:23,750
Right.
318
00:19:23,920 --> 00:19:27,130
She should really be here by now.
319
00:19:27,750 --> 00:19:29,460
So your parents use condoms?
320
00:19:29,630 --> 00:19:31,880
Not a topic for discussion.
Ever.
321
00:19:32,050 --> 00:19:33,470
Okay. No, it's okay.
I won't.
322
00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:36,300
I just, yeah, I mean, what,
do you think they're lubed? Or...
323
00:19:36,470 --> 00:19:37,930
Incoming!
324
00:19:40,390 --> 00:19:42,140
Go, go, go!
325
00:20:13,010 --> 00:20:14,970
It's the trinity.
326
00:20:20,270 --> 00:20:21,600
[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
327
00:20:21,930 --> 00:20:24,350
So where's our boy
in uniform?
328
00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:25,650
He's on our shit list.
329
00:20:25,810 --> 00:20:28,520
One of his army buddies was
getting all date-rapey with Treece.
330
00:20:28,690 --> 00:20:29,730
Oh.
Oh.
331
00:20:29,900 --> 00:20:31,860
So, where's the party?
332
00:20:32,030 --> 00:20:35,360
This is it.
Here, this location.
333
00:20:35,530 --> 00:20:36,860
Welcome.
334
00:20:37,030 --> 00:20:39,200
Come on in.
335
00:20:39,370 --> 00:20:43,790
Warning, roof may be blown off
due to excessive partying.
336
00:20:44,620 --> 00:20:47,380
Well, go ahead,
princess.
337
00:20:47,710 --> 00:20:49,840
Come on up. Yeah.
338
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:51,300
Watch your step.
339
00:20:51,460 --> 00:20:55,130
Now entering
the party pod, captain.
340
00:20:56,970 --> 00:20:58,300
Um...
341
00:20:59,050 --> 00:21:00,470
Are we the first ones here?
342
00:21:02,140 --> 00:21:03,770
Yeah,
we are never first.
343
00:21:03,930 --> 00:21:05,810
I've never been
in this house before.
344
00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:10,440
La fiesta esthis way,
mi bonitas.
345
00:21:11,570 --> 00:21:16,450
Por favor, sweet and salty
comidas for your comesting.
346
00:21:16,610 --> 00:21:20,870
Everything's organic.
The pretzels are fat free.
347
00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:22,700
Are you calling me fat?
348
00:21:23,120 --> 00:21:24,250
What?
349
00:21:24,410 --> 00:21:25,910
No. Not... No.
350
00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:32,000
Hey, come on, you, fat? Why would
he say that? He's not retarded.
351
00:21:32,170 --> 00:21:34,010
My brother's retarded.
352
00:21:38,300 --> 00:21:40,300
[CHUCKLING]
353
00:21:40,470 --> 00:21:42,220
[SIGHING]
354
00:21:42,390 --> 00:21:44,430
DENIS:
That's... That was... That's cold.
355
00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:46,390
You probably don't even
have a brother.
356
00:21:46,560 --> 00:21:48,270
No, he, uh... He died.
357
00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:50,440
[LAUGHING]
358
00:21:50,610 --> 00:21:54,320
Yeah, that was really...
You got me, that was...
359
00:22:03,870 --> 00:22:06,290
I'm so sorry.
360
00:22:09,500 --> 00:22:11,460
It was a long time ago, but thanks.
361
00:22:13,340 --> 00:22:15,130
Yeah.
362
00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:17,800
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
363
00:22:21,300 --> 00:22:23,470
What do you want,
Kevin?
364
00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:24,720
I need beer.
365
00:22:24,890 --> 00:22:27,140
Heh, heh. Yeah, you do.
Uh...
366
00:22:28,020 --> 00:22:30,770
Donde esta la beer,
Coovemaster?
367
00:22:30,940 --> 00:22:32,310
My dad doesn't drink beer.
368
00:22:34,650 --> 00:22:36,530
We have champagne.
369
00:22:36,690 --> 00:22:39,650
Ooh. Okay.
370
00:22:40,320 --> 00:22:43,740
Champagne.
Bubbly goodness. Uh...
371
00:22:44,330 --> 00:22:49,120
This is Cristal.
It's the drink of the pimps.
372
00:22:49,290 --> 00:22:51,540
"The pimps?"
Mm-hm.
373
00:22:51,710 --> 00:22:53,960
What do you know
about pimps?
374
00:22:55,550 --> 00:22:57,960
Nothing, really.
375
00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:02,720
Mm. Cristal seems to have
changed its logo and spelling.
376
00:23:02,890 --> 00:23:06,350
Champagne makes me
do... things.
377
00:23:07,270 --> 00:23:09,600
Girl, water makes you
do things.
378
00:23:09,770 --> 00:23:12,190
Not regular water.
379
00:23:12,350 --> 00:23:16,770
Ha, ha.
Oh, yeah, okay. I, uh...
380
00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:31,000
Classic.
381
00:23:31,790 --> 00:23:33,670
BETH:
I told you.
382
00:23:34,040 --> 00:23:35,540
No, I don't.
383
00:23:35,710 --> 00:23:39,880
No!
No, you can't come here.
384
00:23:41,220 --> 00:23:43,050
Yeah, well...
385
00:23:44,220 --> 00:23:45,890
Maybe.
386
00:23:46,050 --> 00:23:47,810
I'm busy right now, Kevin.
387
00:23:47,970 --> 00:23:49,350
I want some of that.
388
00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:52,850
No, I will not tell you
where I am or who I'm with...
389
00:23:53,020 --> 00:23:58,020
...but I will tell you this, Kevin,
I'm drinking champagne.
390
00:23:58,190 --> 00:24:00,230
Yep. And it is coming right...
391
00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:04,450
Aah! Oh. God. Oh.
392
00:24:04,610 --> 00:24:06,240
It's okay. Oh.
393
00:24:08,030 --> 00:24:10,080
BETH: Oh, nothing.
DENIS: Yeah.
394
00:24:10,750 --> 00:24:11,910
Pfft. Heh.
395
00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:18,250
I'll get this off here.
396
00:24:19,420 --> 00:24:20,920
Would you hurry up?
397
00:24:21,090 --> 00:24:23,130
Yeah, I'm sorry. It's just...
398
00:24:23,300 --> 00:24:26,260
The internal pressure is 90 pounds
per square inch...
399
00:24:26,430 --> 00:24:28,050
...so I don't really know
what the problem...
400
00:24:28,220 --> 00:24:32,600
Don't you dare GPS me.
Oh, please.
401
00:24:33,230 --> 00:24:35,230
[GRUNTING]
402
00:24:36,190 --> 00:24:38,190
[LAUGHING]
403
00:24:38,440 --> 00:24:41,070
Are you okay?
DENIS: Yeah, I'm great.
404
00:24:41,230 --> 00:24:42,690
I need ice!
405
00:24:42,860 --> 00:24:45,610
Okay, let's see.
406
00:24:46,780 --> 00:24:48,570
Frozen peas.
407
00:24:48,740 --> 00:24:51,370
Really? Okay.
408
00:24:51,700 --> 00:24:55,040
And frozen peas.
409
00:24:55,210 --> 00:24:57,460
Frozen peas. Frozen peas.
410
00:24:57,630 --> 00:24:58,960
Anything cold.
411
00:24:59,630 --> 00:25:02,800
Okay, here. Something cold.
412
00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:04,970
Here, come here.
413
00:25:05,630 --> 00:25:07,470
Okay, here we go.
414
00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:11,560
I'm sorry I'm so pathetic.
415
00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:12,930
Let me tell you something:
416
00:25:13,100 --> 00:25:15,480
All boys are pathetic.
417
00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:18,310
Well, then I apologize
on behalf of all boys.
418
00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:21,940
And sorry
for all the wars and stuff.
419
00:25:22,820 --> 00:25:24,530
You're funny.
420
00:25:26,910 --> 00:25:28,240
How does that feel?
421
00:25:28,410 --> 00:25:29,740
[MOANS]
422
00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:37,870
Pretty good, I guess.
423
00:25:42,170 --> 00:25:44,170
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY
AND LAUGHING]
424
00:25:44,340 --> 00:25:46,340
[GRUNTING]
425
00:25:55,980 --> 00:25:58,060
Did you hurt
your back?
426
00:25:59,810 --> 00:26:00,850
Oh. Hee, hee.
427
00:26:01,190 --> 00:26:03,690
Yeah, I hurt my back.
428
00:26:04,030 --> 00:26:05,530
Ah. Ooh!
429
00:26:05,690 --> 00:26:07,700
[STAMMERING]
430
00:26:08,110 --> 00:26:09,360
Party balloons.
431
00:26:09,530 --> 00:26:12,030
Those aren't party balloons.
I know what they are.
432
00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:14,240
So, is this what you
had planned for tonight?
433
00:26:14,410 --> 00:26:15,700
No, those are my dad's.
434
00:26:15,870 --> 00:26:18,160
Your dad's not hiding in
the closet or something?
435
00:26:18,330 --> 00:26:20,500
Oh, I hate that.
436
00:26:24,210 --> 00:26:25,250
This was fun.
437
00:26:25,420 --> 00:26:29,550
DENIS: No, come on. Stick around.
Okay, no, you can't go.
438
00:26:29,720 --> 00:26:30,760
No, wait, wait, wait.
439
00:26:30,930 --> 00:26:33,640
I mean, we've still got
wine to drink. 23 bottles.
440
00:26:33,810 --> 00:26:36,060
Oh, wine reminds me
of Jesus.
441
00:26:36,220 --> 00:26:38,060
You know what, Denis,
we really do have to go.
442
00:26:38,230 --> 00:26:40,230
This was a great party, though.
443
00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:48,610
[RICHARD WAGNER'S "RIDE OF THE
VALKYRIES" PLAYS ON SPEAKERS]
444
00:26:52,990 --> 00:26:54,740
Oh, shit, Kevin.
445
00:26:54,910 --> 00:26:56,620
He triangulated
your cell phone.
446
00:26:56,790 --> 00:26:58,620
[GIGGLING]
447
00:26:58,790 --> 00:27:00,250
[GASPS]
448
00:27:00,420 --> 00:27:02,420
We're gonna need
more waffles.
449
00:27:14,760 --> 00:27:17,060
Sean, you naughty boy.
450
00:27:19,430 --> 00:27:20,770
No, no, no, no.
451
00:27:23,610 --> 00:27:25,900
Nobody move.
Why?
452
00:27:26,070 --> 00:27:28,610
Because he is going to kill me.
453
00:27:29,190 --> 00:27:31,450
The most he's gonna do
is beat you up a little.
454
00:27:31,610 --> 00:27:34,450
Lisbee! Lisbee,
open this door!
455
00:27:35,620 --> 00:27:39,120
The windows! Secure the windows!
456
00:27:40,710 --> 00:27:42,290
[DENIS SCREAMING]
457
00:27:42,460 --> 00:27:44,580
Get out here!
458
00:27:45,290 --> 00:27:46,340
Is he always like this?
459
00:27:46,500 --> 00:27:49,340
This is new behavior,
but not surprising.
460
00:27:54,470 --> 00:27:56,720
He's kind of cute.
461
00:27:57,600 --> 00:27:58,640
Kind of.
462
00:28:02,100 --> 00:28:04,100
[DOOR CREAKS]
463
00:28:05,900 --> 00:28:07,480
Oh, my God.
464
00:28:10,900 --> 00:28:12,280
Don't be afraid, I can handle this.
465
00:28:12,450 --> 00:28:13,490
I wasn't afraid.
466
00:28:13,660 --> 00:28:15,070
Why would you think I was afraid?
467
00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:17,070
Congratulations, you found me.
468
00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:20,580
Interesting situation
we have here.
469
00:28:20,750 --> 00:28:22,620
Have you been doing coke?
470
00:28:22,790 --> 00:28:24,330
KEVIN:
Not now, Lisbee.
471
00:28:24,500 --> 00:28:25,500
He's coked up?
472
00:28:25,670 --> 00:28:28,630
That is not one
of the good drugs.
473
00:28:32,510 --> 00:28:35,430
Hey!
Aunt Brenda gave us that!
474
00:28:36,680 --> 00:28:38,430
Prepare to die.
475
00:28:39,850 --> 00:28:43,810
Okay, that's Mandy Patinkin in
The Princess Bride, Rob Reiner, 1987.
476
00:28:43,980 --> 00:28:46,100
Also the same line
was used by Emperor Zurg...
477
00:28:47,610 --> 00:28:49,270
BETH:
Oh, my God!
478
00:28:49,940 --> 00:28:51,820
[SCREAMING]
479
00:28:52,610 --> 00:28:54,360
BETH:
Stop it! Stop!
480
00:28:54,530 --> 00:28:57,410
Now, this is willful damage
to property!
481
00:28:57,570 --> 00:28:58,620
That's a legal term!
482
00:29:03,500 --> 00:29:04,870
Go!
483
00:29:07,580 --> 00:29:09,670
Kevin, stop!
484
00:29:09,840 --> 00:29:11,130
Hey, hey, hey.
485
00:29:11,550 --> 00:29:14,210
No, Denis! Have you ever seen
any of the Friday The 13ths?
486
00:29:14,380 --> 00:29:16,470
You run upstairs, you die!
487
00:29:26,730 --> 00:29:29,900
A weapon,
we need a weapon.
488
00:29:33,650 --> 00:29:36,360
RICH: Oh, my God.
Find weapons. Aah!
489
00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:43,080
[THUDDING ON DOOR]
490
00:29:44,910 --> 00:29:46,460
RICH:
Denis!
491
00:30:12,570 --> 00:30:14,190
I know what you're thinking.
492
00:30:15,110 --> 00:30:19,700
And, yes, this is
a polycarbonate blade.
493
00:30:19,860 --> 00:30:21,740
[GRUNTING]
494
00:30:23,790 --> 00:30:27,120
I took some workshops
at the Star Wars convention.
495
00:30:29,420 --> 00:30:30,710
Dr. McCoy.
496
00:30:32,040 --> 00:30:35,750
That used to be a person,
so you show some respect!
497
00:30:45,810 --> 00:30:49,730
Rich, I need your help.
Come out of the closet!
498
00:30:50,020 --> 00:30:51,980
[GRUNTING]
499
00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:03,530
Uh, uh, okay.
500
00:31:08,790 --> 00:31:10,290
[SCREAMS]
501
00:31:18,970 --> 00:31:21,340
Go, get out of here!
502
00:31:21,630 --> 00:31:23,090
Go!
503
00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:30,230
Weird.
DENIS: Rich?
504
00:31:30,390 --> 00:31:33,560
RICH:
Yeah? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, Denis?
505
00:31:34,810 --> 00:31:37,520
Over here, over here.
Are you okay?
506
00:31:37,690 --> 00:31:40,490
Yeah, I'm coming. I'm fine.
507
00:31:40,650 --> 00:31:41,820
Rich, what are you doing?
508
00:31:41,990 --> 00:31:44,320
I think I've made
a terrible decision.
509
00:31:44,490 --> 00:31:46,990
At which point did you think
that was a good decision?
510
00:31:47,160 --> 00:31:48,950
Yeah, no, no, no, I d...
511
00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:51,710
[SCREAMING]
512
00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:55,040
Rich!
513
00:31:55,210 --> 00:31:56,880
KEVIN:
Denis?
514
00:32:07,010 --> 00:32:08,350
[GRUNTING]
515
00:32:17,730 --> 00:32:18,730
Are you okay?
516
00:32:18,900 --> 00:32:21,900
I'm paralyzed.
I'm a paralyzed virgin.
517
00:32:22,070 --> 00:32:23,780
You'll be okay.
518
00:32:23,950 --> 00:32:25,860
Quadriplegics can have sex.
519
00:32:26,030 --> 00:32:28,990
I saw a documentary about it
once on public television.
520
00:32:29,160 --> 00:32:30,410
Let's go. Come on.
521
00:32:30,580 --> 00:32:33,080
Yeah.
Okay.
522
00:32:36,960 --> 00:32:39,380
KEVIN:
Sean, Dustin, come on!
523
00:32:42,130 --> 00:32:43,170
Go, go, go!
524
00:32:43,340 --> 00:32:44,680
[GRUNTING]
525
00:32:52,270 --> 00:32:53,890
They're like cyborgs.
526
00:32:55,770 --> 00:32:57,100
Denis?
527
00:33:01,940 --> 00:33:07,160
Rich! Rich! Rich!
528
00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:08,450
[CAR APPROACHING]
529
00:33:14,460 --> 00:33:18,580
Why did you do that?
I thought you were smart.
530
00:33:18,750 --> 00:33:21,880
I was smart.
531
00:33:22,050 --> 00:33:27,300
Oh, my God.
Get him in the car.
532
00:33:27,930 --> 00:33:30,140
Come on.
Are you okay?
533
00:33:30,300 --> 00:33:31,850
TREECE:
Oh, my gosh.
534
00:33:32,020 --> 00:33:33,810
Wait, Rich.
535
00:33:40,110 --> 00:33:41,400
[YELLING]
536
00:33:41,570 --> 00:33:42,940
[TREECE SCREAMING]
537
00:33:43,110 --> 00:33:45,610
Lisbee! Stop the car.
538
00:33:48,030 --> 00:33:49,740
Hey! Come back here!
539
00:33:49,910 --> 00:33:52,490
Call me when you're sober!
540
00:34:06,170 --> 00:34:07,260
[GROANS]
541
00:34:07,470 --> 00:34:09,930
Are you okay?
Yeah, no, I'm fi...
542
00:34:12,510 --> 00:34:13,680
No blood.
543
00:34:17,980 --> 00:34:23,690
Beth, we got away, so you can
stop escaping now if you want to.
544
00:34:23,860 --> 00:34:25,690
She always drives
like this.
545
00:34:27,360 --> 00:34:29,780
I was in Driver's Ed with her.
546
00:34:29,950 --> 00:34:30,990
You could slow down.
547
00:34:31,160 --> 00:34:32,620
We're gonna try
to watch the cones.
548
00:34:32,780 --> 00:34:34,530
We're gonna watch
the road.
549
00:34:34,870 --> 00:34:36,040
Oh! L... Oh.
550
00:34:37,370 --> 00:34:39,000
Not good, not good. Oh!
551
00:34:41,380 --> 00:34:42,880
I'm gonna need you
to pull over.
552
00:34:43,290 --> 00:34:45,300
BETH:
Oh, shit!
553
00:34:45,460 --> 00:34:46,550
[CAR HORN HONKING]
554
00:34:49,300 --> 00:34:51,550
Great, you just killed
everybody in the car.
555
00:34:55,720 --> 00:34:58,230
I'm, like, the least notable
person in this car.
556
00:34:58,390 --> 00:35:02,230
When we all die, I'll be
referred to as fifth student.
557
00:35:03,400 --> 00:35:05,400
So, Beth, uh...
558
00:35:05,570 --> 00:35:08,780
...I just wanna say thanks
for rescuing me...
559
00:35:08,950 --> 00:35:11,490
...back there after
you hit me with your car.
560
00:35:11,660 --> 00:35:12,700
That was pretty cool.
561
00:35:12,870 --> 00:35:16,790
No, you ran into my car.
562
00:35:16,950 --> 00:35:20,540
And I'm not rescuing you.
Kevin is heavily medicated right now.
563
00:35:20,710 --> 00:35:24,170
Cocaine, speed, roid rage,
and he can't have another incident.
564
00:35:24,340 --> 00:35:26,170
He'll get court-martialed
for sure.
565
00:35:26,340 --> 00:35:28,380
Sure, yeah.
566
00:35:29,130 --> 00:35:31,930
Do you remember the specifics
of his last incident?
567
00:35:33,260 --> 00:35:36,640
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa!
568
00:35:37,720 --> 00:35:39,270
[SCREAMS]
569
00:35:39,430 --> 00:35:41,600
BETH:
Stupid drivers.
570
00:35:41,770 --> 00:35:46,900
Could I borrow your cell phone?
I left mine back at the house.
571
00:35:48,110 --> 00:35:50,690
Thank you very much.
I'll just...
572
00:35:54,070 --> 00:35:56,530
[FOREIGNER'S "FEELS LIKE THE
FIRST TIME" PLAYS ON SPEAKERS]
573
00:35:58,950 --> 00:36:00,120
[CELL PHONE BUZZING]
574
00:36:00,290 --> 00:36:02,960
Honey. Honey, you're vibrating.
You bet I am.
575
00:36:03,120 --> 00:36:05,420
No, honey, honey,
it could be Denis.
576
00:36:09,840 --> 00:36:12,510
I don't recognize the number.
Do you?
577
00:36:12,680 --> 00:36:15,340
Sorry.
No.
578
00:36:15,930 --> 00:36:18,010
Must be a telemarketer.
579
00:36:19,310 --> 00:36:21,310
[LAUGHING]
580
00:36:23,810 --> 00:36:25,270
[SQUEALING]
581
00:36:25,440 --> 00:36:29,150
Oh, Mr. Cooverman.
582
00:36:32,070 --> 00:36:33,860
Hey, Mom, Dad, it...
583
00:36:34,030 --> 00:36:37,870
Hi, Mrs. C.
TREECE & CAMMY: Hi, Mrs. C!
584
00:36:38,030 --> 00:36:39,990
Yeah, that was just Rich...
585
00:36:40,160 --> 00:36:42,750
...and we're okay.
586
00:36:42,910 --> 00:36:45,960
And I can explain the kitchen later.
587
00:36:46,130 --> 00:36:49,250
If you need to reach me,
you can reach me at...
588
00:36:51,130 --> 00:36:54,340
Beth, I'm sorry, can I get
your cell phone number?
589
00:36:55,220 --> 00:36:57,300
Shit, my phone!
590
00:36:57,470 --> 00:36:58,930
Kevin's probably tracking it.
591
00:36:59,100 --> 00:37:01,850
Aah.
GPS that, asshole!
592
00:37:02,020 --> 00:37:04,020
[LAUGHING]
593
00:37:04,520 --> 00:37:05,770
Asshole.
594
00:37:07,860 --> 00:37:08,860
Cool.
595
00:37:09,020 --> 00:37:13,190
MAN [ON RADIO]:
I rebuke you in the name of Jesus.
596
00:37:13,360 --> 00:37:15,280
Ugh. Radio sucks.
597
00:37:16,740 --> 00:37:21,120
Actually, why don't you
tune that to 87.1?
598
00:37:21,290 --> 00:37:26,370
Cooked up a little commencement
mix that I think all of you will enjoy.
599
00:37:26,540 --> 00:37:31,210
DJ C's slamming graduation.
What!
600
00:37:32,710 --> 00:37:34,800
[ALICE COOPER'S "SCHOOL'S OUT"
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
601
00:37:46,890 --> 00:37:50,150
[SINGING]
Well, we got no choice
602
00:37:50,310 --> 00:37:53,570
All the girls and boys
603
00:37:53,730 --> 00:37:57,070
Makin' all that noise
604
00:37:57,240 --> 00:38:00,410
BOTH [SINGING]:
'Cause they found new toys
605
00:38:00,910 --> 00:38:03,240
ALL [SINGING]:
Well, we can't salute you
606
00:38:03,410 --> 00:38:05,040
Can't find a flag
607
00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:08,870
If that don't suit you
That's a drag
608
00:38:09,040 --> 00:38:13,710
School's out for summer
609
00:38:15,760 --> 00:38:20,760
School's out forever
610
00:38:20,930 --> 00:38:23,260
Ever.
611
00:38:23,430 --> 00:38:27,600
School's been blown to pieces
612
00:38:27,770 --> 00:38:29,190
Yeah.
613
00:38:29,350 --> 00:38:33,900
I love this song. Who wouldn't
want to blow up their school?
614
00:38:42,280 --> 00:38:44,280
[DENIS GRUNTS]
615
00:38:45,290 --> 00:38:47,620
Crack him like a walnut.
616
00:38:49,920 --> 00:38:51,290
Hello.
617
00:38:53,290 --> 00:38:55,210
Sorry.
618
00:38:56,550 --> 00:38:58,300
Let's get some beer.
619
00:39:04,510 --> 00:39:08,480
So, uh, I think I was knocked
out back there momentarily...
620
00:39:08,640 --> 00:39:14,900
...because I definitely wasn't, uh,
you know, looking or anything.
621
00:39:15,070 --> 00:39:17,940
Yuck.
What?
622
00:39:18,110 --> 00:39:21,150
Maybe we should get you some
Band-Aids or cream or something.
623
00:39:21,320 --> 00:39:25,780
Oh, no. No, no, no,
I'm... I'm...
624
00:39:25,950 --> 00:39:29,660
Wow, your eyes aren't blue.
625
00:39:31,080 --> 00:39:32,120
My eyes?
626
00:39:32,290 --> 00:39:35,500
Yeah, there's like some
green in there and then...
627
00:39:35,670 --> 00:39:40,010
...on the pupil, there's like a hazel
starburst sort of thing going on.
628
00:39:41,300 --> 00:39:45,850
Uh, my grandma used to call
them a real dog's breakfast.
629
00:39:46,470 --> 00:39:47,850
Lucky dog.
630
00:39:51,520 --> 00:39:53,650
So, what kind of beer
do you like?
631
00:39:53,810 --> 00:39:55,610
What kind? All kinds.
632
00:39:55,770 --> 00:39:59,690
I'm a maniac
for the brewdog.
633
00:40:04,030 --> 00:40:06,830
Chips, chips, chips.
634
00:40:08,200 --> 00:40:09,870
Got it?
Yep, I got it.
635
00:40:10,040 --> 00:40:12,290
Suzy Q's, yum.
636
00:40:12,870 --> 00:40:14,790
My mom says yum.
637
00:40:15,540 --> 00:40:16,880
Yum.
638
00:40:17,040 --> 00:40:18,380
Not like that,
that's...
639
00:40:18,550 --> 00:40:20,880
Got it?
Yep, good.
640
00:40:21,880 --> 00:40:23,220
BETH: Hi.
Hey.
641
00:40:23,380 --> 00:40:25,720
BETH: How are you?
Really good.
642
00:40:29,010 --> 00:40:30,890
There you go.
643
00:40:33,890 --> 00:40:35,560
What's with
your boyfriend?
644
00:40:35,730 --> 00:40:38,400
Oh, he's my
little brother.
645
00:40:39,650 --> 00:40:41,400
What happened
to his face?
646
00:40:42,650 --> 00:40:44,900
Dad beats him.
647
00:40:45,410 --> 00:40:46,490
Sorry I asked.
648
00:40:47,950 --> 00:40:50,080
Oh, uh... Heh, heh.
649
00:40:50,240 --> 00:40:51,830
I'm gonna need
to see some ID.
650
00:40:53,160 --> 00:40:55,040
Of course.
651
00:40:57,880 --> 00:40:59,460
Here you go.
652
00:41:01,260 --> 00:41:04,590
Wow. You've lost weight,
Patricia.
653
00:41:04,760 --> 00:41:06,760
You certainly
don't look 37.
654
00:41:06,930 --> 00:41:08,760
Well, thank you.
655
00:41:11,220 --> 00:41:15,520
So that's $15.42,
without the beer.
656
00:41:16,690 --> 00:41:20,230
Come on. It's graduation night.
657
00:41:20,400 --> 00:41:24,570
Oh, well,
"congradulations."
658
00:41:26,280 --> 00:41:28,410
Sam.
659
00:41:28,570 --> 00:41:31,240
You seem like a cool guy, Sam.
660
00:41:31,410 --> 00:41:34,290
Come on. Be cool.
661
00:41:35,960 --> 00:41:38,750
Look,
I could lose my shitty job.
662
00:41:42,420 --> 00:41:46,630
How about I kiss you so hard,
every time you think about it...
663
00:41:46,800 --> 00:41:48,800
...you'll have to change
your underwear?
664
00:41:57,900 --> 00:41:59,600
We got beer.
Whoo!
665
00:41:59,770 --> 00:42:03,020
So that was weird what
you did in there, to him.
666
00:42:03,190 --> 00:42:04,230
What happened?
667
00:42:04,400 --> 00:42:07,240
I sucked his face for
like two seconds.
668
00:42:07,400 --> 00:42:09,660
RICH:
Sucked his face?
669
00:42:09,820 --> 00:42:10,910
Purell me.
670
00:42:11,080 --> 00:42:12,410
Wow.
671
00:42:12,790 --> 00:42:15,160
That was a big sacrifice.
672
00:42:15,330 --> 00:42:18,920
I couldn't have done it.
I mean, before drinking the beer.
673
00:42:20,750 --> 00:42:22,670
I'd do two seconds.
674
00:42:26,590 --> 00:42:28,680
What? It isn't gay.
It isn't gay.
675
00:42:28,840 --> 00:42:31,090
It isn't gay.
It's not gay.
676
00:42:31,260 --> 00:42:33,180
It's within the
three-second rule.
677
00:42:33,680 --> 00:42:36,020
That's for food
dropped on the floor.
678
00:42:36,890 --> 00:42:39,190
Yeah, uh, whatever.
679
00:42:43,190 --> 00:42:44,860
She's not Beth Cooper.
680
00:42:59,500 --> 00:43:01,500
[SPEAKING
INDISTINCTLY]
681
00:43:05,840 --> 00:43:07,710
[GRUNTING]
682
00:43:11,760 --> 00:43:13,090
[SIGHS]
683
00:43:13,550 --> 00:43:14,800
Indians.
684
00:43:16,720 --> 00:43:21,140
It's Jack Nicholson, Easy Rider,
1969, directed by Dennis Hopper.
685
00:43:21,560 --> 00:43:24,020
Something is really wrong with you.
686
00:43:24,320 --> 00:43:25,360
Yeah.
687
00:43:27,610 --> 00:43:30,950
To old D.H. Lawrence.
688
00:43:33,700 --> 00:43:35,070
BETH:
Hey.
689
00:43:41,420 --> 00:43:43,420
[CHUCKLING]
690
00:43:55,010 --> 00:43:56,350
[TOOTH CRACKS]
691
00:43:57,930 --> 00:43:59,600
[DENIS COUGHING]
692
00:44:06,480 --> 00:44:07,610
Sorry.
693
00:44:07,780 --> 00:44:10,110
[BOTH GRUNTING]
694
00:44:11,240 --> 00:44:13,780
Are you okay?
I'm sorry.
695
00:44:16,990 --> 00:44:18,740
Is that your tooth?
696
00:44:19,620 --> 00:44:21,120
It was deciduous.
697
00:44:21,620 --> 00:44:23,080
You still have baby teeth?
698
00:44:23,250 --> 00:44:24,710
Only three.
699
00:44:24,880 --> 00:44:26,880
Now... two.
700
00:44:27,040 --> 00:44:29,380
I have two.
For your pillow.
701
00:44:29,550 --> 00:44:30,590
Thank you.
702
00:44:30,760 --> 00:44:32,880
[KISS' "BETH" PLAYING
ON MP3 PLAYER]
703
00:44:33,840 --> 00:44:37,760
How did that get on there?
I don't... I didn't even put...
704
00:44:37,930 --> 00:44:39,310
Rich, did you put this on?
705
00:44:40,430 --> 00:44:41,930
Leave it.
706
00:44:51,070 --> 00:44:52,820
I have to pee.
707
00:44:52,990 --> 00:44:54,780
Me too.
708
00:44:57,830 --> 00:45:00,240
Ah. Me trice.
709
00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:10,670
You know, I was
named after this song.
710
00:45:11,840 --> 00:45:13,840
You were named after a Kiss song?
711
00:45:14,010 --> 00:45:15,470
Yes.
712
00:45:16,470 --> 00:45:20,350
My parents were headbangers.
713
00:45:20,510 --> 00:45:23,430
Whoa.
Still kind of are.
714
00:45:24,480 --> 00:45:27,850
Beth Cooper's parents.
Taking in a Kiss show.
715
00:45:28,020 --> 00:45:33,320
Oh, man. That is so... cool.
716
00:45:34,860 --> 00:45:36,200
It's cool.
717
00:45:36,360 --> 00:45:40,530
You got headbangers parents.
That's awesome.
718
00:45:43,040 --> 00:45:44,250
Hm.
719
00:45:46,250 --> 00:45:48,290
Why are we walking?
720
00:45:48,540 --> 00:45:52,090
When I get my own car, I am
never walking anywhere again.
721
00:45:52,250 --> 00:45:54,210
My dad was gonna
give me his old car...
722
00:45:54,380 --> 00:45:58,220
...but then my stepmom bitch
Tricia crashed hers.
723
00:45:58,390 --> 00:46:01,220
Well, that's what you get
for splitting your parents up.
724
00:46:01,390 --> 00:46:03,140
Mean, mean!
725
00:46:03,310 --> 00:46:06,390
Never admit your
innermost fears to Cammy.
726
00:46:06,770 --> 00:46:08,730
Oh, my God.
727
00:46:08,900 --> 00:46:10,690
What?
Cows.
728
00:46:11,520 --> 00:46:13,150
Let's tip one.
729
00:46:13,320 --> 00:46:15,650
What, isn't that like
an urban legend?
730
00:46:16,110 --> 00:46:18,740
Why don't you go
find out?
731
00:46:19,240 --> 00:46:21,280
Me?
It was your idea.
732
00:46:21,450 --> 00:46:22,910
You're the guy.
733
00:46:23,080 --> 00:46:24,830
More or less.
734
00:46:25,160 --> 00:46:26,200
TREECE:
Go, go, go.
735
00:46:26,370 --> 00:46:30,040
RICH: Okay, that's really nice. Okay.
TREECE: Ew. Ew. Ew.
736
00:46:30,210 --> 00:46:31,250
Okay.
737
00:46:31,420 --> 00:46:34,090
Shh. Could you just: Shh.
738
00:46:34,250 --> 00:46:37,590
This is the one.
Go. Shut up.
739
00:46:37,760 --> 00:46:39,840
Hey, okay.
TREECE: Ew. Okay.
740
00:46:40,010 --> 00:46:41,050
[COW GROANS]
741
00:46:41,220 --> 00:46:43,180
Whoa. What's that kind of...?
That's like a noise.
742
00:46:43,350 --> 00:46:44,970
It's a moo, okay?
Push it.
743
00:46:45,140 --> 00:46:47,270
Where?
In the middle.
744
00:46:47,430 --> 00:46:48,520
Okay, push.
745
00:46:48,690 --> 00:46:50,650
Oh, shit.
746
00:46:50,810 --> 00:46:52,270
[TREECE & CAMMY LAUGHING]
747
00:46:52,440 --> 00:46:53,940
Do not laugh.
748
00:47:00,070 --> 00:47:01,780
So, what are
you thinking?
749
00:47:03,490 --> 00:47:05,200
Nothing.
750
00:47:05,990 --> 00:47:09,120
So, what are you
doing after graduation?
751
00:47:09,410 --> 00:47:10,460
I was gonna...
752
00:47:10,620 --> 00:47:14,710
They got this, like, pre-med
med-school thing at Stanford and...
753
00:47:15,420 --> 00:47:17,510
Good luck with that.
754
00:47:21,760 --> 00:47:23,760
So, what are your plans?
755
00:47:24,300 --> 00:47:28,270
I don't know. Maybe go to old
Harpers Community College.
756
00:47:28,640 --> 00:47:30,270
Harpers.
757
00:47:30,640 --> 00:47:32,140
Yeah, no, cool.
758
00:47:32,310 --> 00:47:37,150
They got a lot of
good credit courses.
759
00:47:37,650 --> 00:47:40,110
Maybe. If I can afford it.
760
00:47:46,200 --> 00:47:48,660
So I'm not Beth Cooper, huh?
761
00:47:49,870 --> 00:47:50,910
You heard that?
762
00:47:54,710 --> 00:48:00,210
Look, what I only meant was,
you didn't seem like...
763
00:48:00,380 --> 00:48:02,340
The Beth Cooper
over your bed?
764
00:48:03,140 --> 00:48:05,850
Right. Her.
765
00:48:06,010 --> 00:48:08,560
She would never hook up
with some loser for a 12-pack.
766
00:48:08,720 --> 00:48:11,480
No, she wouldn't.
767
00:48:12,690 --> 00:48:15,230
And you don't have to.
768
00:48:18,190 --> 00:48:20,150
You're better than that.
769
00:48:37,710 --> 00:48:39,050
[GRUNTS]
770
00:48:39,380 --> 00:48:41,630
That's it.
I'm done.
771
00:48:41,800 --> 00:48:44,260
I'm going back. Thank you.
772
00:48:45,090 --> 00:48:46,470
You're welcome.
773
00:48:46,640 --> 00:48:47,760
Bye, cow!
774
00:48:48,930 --> 00:48:50,930
[MOOING]
775
00:48:51,730 --> 00:48:53,270
What's that sound?
776
00:48:53,440 --> 00:48:54,940
[COWS MOOING]
777
00:48:56,730 --> 00:48:58,060
Cows.
Aah!
778
00:48:58,570 --> 00:49:01,400
Stampede!
779
00:49:03,070 --> 00:49:05,070
[COW BELLOWS]
780
00:49:06,240 --> 00:49:08,240
What the hell was that?
781
00:49:09,950 --> 00:49:12,080
Uh, sounded like a cow.
782
00:49:12,250 --> 00:49:15,960
No, that was no standard cow.
783
00:49:17,790 --> 00:49:21,090
Denis Cooverman.
Are you afraid of cows?
784
00:49:21,250 --> 00:49:23,760
Vaccaphobic? Course not.
785
00:49:23,920 --> 00:49:25,930
[RICH SCREAMING]
786
00:49:26,090 --> 00:49:27,470
DENIS:
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
787
00:49:27,640 --> 00:49:29,010
What the hell?
What happened?
788
00:49:29,180 --> 00:49:30,510
TREECE:
God, it's so funny!
789
00:49:30,680 --> 00:49:31,930
A cow bit me!
790
00:49:32,100 --> 00:49:33,770
No, cows can't bite.
791
00:49:33,930 --> 00:49:35,770
Well, this one sure as shit could.
792
00:49:35,940 --> 00:49:37,900
No, no, no,
cows don't bite.
793
00:49:38,060 --> 00:49:41,440
We all know that they
lack upper incisors.
794
00:49:42,570 --> 00:49:43,940
You're useful.
795
00:49:44,780 --> 00:49:46,740
What is that smell?
796
00:49:47,240 --> 00:49:49,120
He pooped his shoes.
797
00:49:50,780 --> 00:49:52,790
[LAUGHS]
798
00:49:53,000 --> 00:49:56,160
Lose the shoes.
I paid for these shoes.
799
00:49:56,750 --> 00:49:59,960
Uh, you're not getting in
my car with those shoes on.
800
00:50:00,130 --> 00:50:02,420
They go, with you
in them or not.
801
00:50:06,300 --> 00:50:07,590
You pooped your shoes.
802
00:50:25,990 --> 00:50:27,490
Lights out.
803
00:50:28,490 --> 00:50:30,490
[CAMMY & TREECE SCREAMING]
804
00:50:32,330 --> 00:50:34,330
[DENIS & RICH SCREAMING]
805
00:50:40,830 --> 00:50:42,840
[WHOOPING]
806
00:50:47,880 --> 00:50:52,800
To the future! Whoo!
807
00:50:52,970 --> 00:50:54,970
[LAUGHING]
808
00:50:58,390 --> 00:51:01,060
Turn the headlights on now!
Please, please, please!
809
00:51:01,230 --> 00:51:02,350
Okay!
810
00:51:03,730 --> 00:51:05,860
There, you happy?
811
00:51:06,030 --> 00:51:07,280
Car!
812
00:51:07,530 --> 00:51:09,570
[ALL SCREAMING]
813
00:51:13,280 --> 00:51:14,870
[SCREECHING]
814
00:51:20,370 --> 00:51:23,630
Sorry, I was unaware
I was emitting that.
815
00:51:39,230 --> 00:51:41,770
RICH: Mr. And Mrs. C?
BETH: Who?
816
00:51:43,020 --> 00:51:44,860
My mom and dad.
817
00:51:46,940 --> 00:51:50,650
Could be worse.
Could not be your mom.
818
00:51:52,280 --> 00:51:57,120
Well, thank you all
for a lovely evening...
819
00:51:58,290 --> 00:52:00,250
...but now I must die.
820
00:52:00,710 --> 00:52:04,250
You do not wanna talk to your dad
when he has his pants down.
821
00:52:06,590 --> 00:52:07,920
Yeah.
822
00:52:15,260 --> 00:52:16,680
Goddamn kids!
823
00:52:21,020 --> 00:52:22,230
VALET:
Jeez!
824
00:52:22,390 --> 00:52:23,890
Sorry!
825
00:52:27,150 --> 00:52:28,570
Thank you.
826
00:52:29,030 --> 00:52:30,820
Shit my panties.
827
00:52:30,990 --> 00:52:33,900
This is Valli Wooley's house.
We can't go in here.
828
00:52:34,070 --> 00:52:35,660
Because you called her
a stuck-up bitch...
829
00:52:35,820 --> 00:52:37,280
...in front of the
whole school?
830
00:52:37,450 --> 00:52:38,490
Don't worry...
831
00:52:38,660 --> 00:52:40,370
...she's usually upstairs
with a guy by now.
832
00:52:40,540 --> 00:52:42,580
If she gives you shit,
go for her throat.
833
00:52:42,750 --> 00:52:43,960
She'll be protecting
her nose.
834
00:52:44,120 --> 00:52:46,630
Her nose was a
graduation present.
835
00:52:47,460 --> 00:52:48,460
CAMMY:
Bitch.
836
00:52:50,260 --> 00:52:51,300
Hi!
837
00:52:51,460 --> 00:52:53,720
Ew. Don't say hi to her.
Ew.
838
00:52:53,880 --> 00:52:56,010
Drinks by the pool!
839
00:52:56,220 --> 00:52:58,220
[CHATTERING]
840
00:52:58,390 --> 00:53:01,390
[GYM CLASS HEROES "CATCH ME
IF YOU CAN" PLAYS ON SPEAKERS]
841
00:53:02,180 --> 00:53:03,520
[SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY]
842
00:53:07,360 --> 00:53:11,280
Hey, what is that?
It's nice. Is it salmon-colored?
843
00:53:15,530 --> 00:53:16,820
Sorry.
844
00:53:28,340 --> 00:53:29,750
Your party was better.
845
00:53:48,610 --> 00:53:49,650
What?
846
00:53:54,530 --> 00:53:56,700
I'm gonna go find a bathroom.
847
00:54:18,890 --> 00:54:20,220
Okay.
848
00:54:21,220 --> 00:54:22,510
Don't move.
849
00:54:22,680 --> 00:54:26,020
All right, yes, fine, all right.
850
00:54:28,100 --> 00:54:29,900
Oh, Greg.
851
00:54:31,020 --> 00:54:34,150
Well, if anybody's
gonna kill me tonight...
852
00:54:34,320 --> 00:54:35,900
...it should be you,
you deserve it.
853
00:54:36,070 --> 00:54:37,570
You've earned it.
854
00:54:40,700 --> 00:54:42,240
How did you know?
855
00:54:44,240 --> 00:54:45,620
How did you?
856
00:54:46,500 --> 00:54:48,500
[SOBBING]
857
00:55:07,850 --> 00:55:09,270
Did I do that?
858
00:55:09,520 --> 00:55:13,310
This? No, it's not one of yours.
859
00:55:13,730 --> 00:55:15,270
It was an accident.
860
00:55:15,440 --> 00:55:19,610
You know, sometimes,
I don't even remember doing it.
861
00:55:21,110 --> 00:55:22,660
I just black out.
862
00:55:24,280 --> 00:55:26,290
I'd have that looked at, Greg.
863
00:55:26,830 --> 00:55:28,200
Yeah.
864
00:55:32,250 --> 00:55:36,420
Maybe I could call you sometime?
We could talk about it?
865
00:55:36,960 --> 00:55:38,210
Sure.
866
00:55:39,970 --> 00:55:42,590
Maybe a trained professional
would be better.
867
00:55:42,760 --> 00:55:45,430
I'm just thinking aloud here.
868
00:55:47,350 --> 00:55:50,140
But can I get a hug?
I mean, hugs are good.
869
00:55:51,390 --> 00:55:53,310
You do what you need to do, Greg.
870
00:55:57,110 --> 00:55:58,480
All right.
871
00:56:01,910 --> 00:56:05,490
[SINGING]
Forget the tears we've cried
872
00:56:07,200 --> 00:56:10,830
Forget the good times too
873
00:56:13,380 --> 00:56:17,340
BOTH:
Forget the pain inside
874
00:56:19,460 --> 00:56:24,720
I will be there waiting for you
875
00:56:25,100 --> 00:56:27,680
GREG: Thanks, Denis.
Thanks a lot. Thanks.
876
00:56:27,850 --> 00:56:30,560
[THE TING TINGS' "SHUT UP AND
LET ME GO" PLAYS ON SPEAKERS]
877
00:56:32,690 --> 00:56:34,100
Rich!
878
00:56:34,400 --> 00:56:36,860
RICH: Le Coove! Here.
Thank you.
879
00:56:37,020 --> 00:56:38,940
RICH: Check it out.
Coach Raupp.
880
00:56:40,150 --> 00:56:41,440
Pedophilia.
881
00:56:42,450 --> 00:56:44,740
It's always
the gym teachers.
882
00:56:47,530 --> 00:56:49,740
You know they call us
Dick Munch and the Penis?
883
00:56:49,910 --> 00:56:51,040
Yeah.
884
00:56:51,200 --> 00:56:54,540
I mean, like, together, like we're
like the gaynamic duo or something.
885
00:56:56,000 --> 00:56:58,040
Where's Beth?
Wherever.
886
00:56:59,130 --> 00:57:00,750
I told you that speech
was a good idea.
887
00:57:00,920 --> 00:57:02,130
What are you talking about?
888
00:57:02,300 --> 00:57:05,050
What about what's happened tonight
could be construed as good?
889
00:57:05,220 --> 00:57:07,140
Closure. If you didn't
give that speech...
890
00:57:07,300 --> 00:57:09,970
...you'd never know what a
scary wack job Beth Cooper was.
891
00:57:10,140 --> 00:57:12,890
No other girl would ever live up
to her mythic proportions.
892
00:57:13,060 --> 00:57:17,440
She's not a scary wack job.
She's not a wack job.
893
00:57:17,610 --> 00:57:20,020
Dude, don't backpedal,
you know. Onwards!
894
00:57:20,190 --> 00:57:21,230
[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
895
00:57:21,400 --> 00:57:24,650
Your new hopeless obsession
might be at this very party.
896
00:57:25,360 --> 00:57:26,700
Denny!
897
00:57:26,870 --> 00:57:28,450
Oh, secret shame.
898
00:57:28,620 --> 00:57:29,660
This is so great.
899
00:57:29,830 --> 00:57:31,910
I didn't expect
to see you here.
900
00:57:33,410 --> 00:57:34,750
Patty.
901
00:57:35,710 --> 00:57:40,590
I loved your speech. You said
some very perceptive things.
902
00:57:40,800 --> 00:57:43,920
Richard, do you know Victoria?
903
00:57:44,090 --> 00:57:47,890
Yes, certainamente.
You, uh, lost weight, Tori.
904
00:57:49,180 --> 00:57:51,510
You're not wearing shoes.
905
00:57:52,430 --> 00:57:54,220
Nobody wears shoes anymore.
906
00:57:54,390 --> 00:57:56,690
PATTY: Denny,
what happened to your poor face?
907
00:57:57,060 --> 00:57:58,810
Greg Saloga beat you up,
I bet.
908
00:57:58,980 --> 00:58:01,770
Or Valli Wooley, she paid
someone to beat you up?
909
00:58:01,940 --> 00:58:06,280
No, the Coove had a little dust-up
with Beth Cooper's boyfriend.
910
00:58:06,570 --> 00:58:09,070
Beth Cooper?
RICH: Yeah, ex-boyfriend actually.
911
00:58:09,240 --> 00:58:13,120
Army, dark ops, couldn't stand the
idea of the Coove here and Beth...
912
00:58:13,290 --> 00:58:15,000
...so it went to blows.
913
00:58:15,160 --> 00:58:19,040
I mean, you think this is bad,
you should see the other guy.
914
00:58:19,210 --> 00:58:22,130
DENIS:
Yeah, I mean, I feel bad for him.
915
00:58:22,300 --> 00:58:25,340
He's in the hospital,
all beaten up and shit.
916
00:58:25,510 --> 00:58:28,050
To tell you the truth,
I just hope he's okay.
917
00:58:28,220 --> 00:58:29,340
Me too.
918
00:58:29,510 --> 00:58:32,510
Actually, he's upstairs.
919
00:58:33,600 --> 00:58:35,720
Um, whoa, uh...
920
00:58:35,890 --> 00:58:37,810
Right, look at the time here.
921
00:58:37,980 --> 00:58:42,150
My female fiancée's getting off
her shift at Hooters, so...
922
00:58:42,320 --> 00:58:45,400
Wow, you know, but this has been
a pleasure, ladies, so...
923
00:58:45,570 --> 00:58:48,280
Good luck!
It was nice seeing you!
924
00:58:49,240 --> 00:58:50,450
Bye!
925
00:58:51,820 --> 00:58:53,080
Sorry.
926
00:58:53,490 --> 00:58:55,660
Where are you going?
We gotta get out of here.
927
00:58:55,830 --> 00:58:57,250
VALLl:
Asshole!
928
00:58:57,410 --> 00:58:58,660
What are you doing here?
929
00:59:01,330 --> 00:59:02,500
Don't.
930
00:59:11,260 --> 00:59:12,590
[WHISTLES]
931
00:59:13,390 --> 00:59:15,470
So we meet again.
932
00:59:15,770 --> 00:59:20,940
Really? Ernst Blofeld in just
like every Bond movie. Oh, okay.
933
00:59:21,100 --> 00:59:22,400
Kevin, just stop.
934
00:59:24,020 --> 00:59:25,570
Get out of here.
935
00:59:26,150 --> 00:59:28,780
And get yourself tested
for gonorrhea.
936
00:59:29,820 --> 00:59:35,200
Why don't you get that tight, pretty
butt of yours in my vehicle, all right?
937
00:59:36,660 --> 00:59:38,040
Move out!
938
00:59:45,840 --> 00:59:47,250
CAMMY:
Are you okay?
939
00:59:51,090 --> 00:59:52,430
Stay here.
940
00:59:54,970 --> 00:59:56,390
KEVIN:
Clear out!
941
00:59:56,560 --> 00:59:57,890
[ROCK MUSIC
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
942
00:59:58,060 --> 00:59:59,730
[DENIS GRUNTING]
943
01:00:02,980 --> 01:00:05,480
I am not your plaything!
944
01:00:07,900 --> 01:00:12,070
No, no, come on! Come on, people!
Are you just gonna let him murder me?
945
01:00:12,240 --> 01:00:13,280
VALLl:
Wait!
946
01:00:13,450 --> 01:00:14,570
[MUSIC STOPS]
947
01:00:17,910 --> 01:00:20,370
I am not worthless, okay?
948
01:00:20,540 --> 01:00:24,580
Look at this party.
Look at all my friends.
949
01:00:25,250 --> 01:00:27,210
Cause brain damage.
950
01:00:29,130 --> 01:00:31,510
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
951
01:00:31,670 --> 01:00:33,090
Thank God, Coach Raupp.
952
01:00:33,260 --> 01:00:34,640
Ladies.
953
01:00:35,300 --> 01:00:36,640
Some ground rules.
954
01:00:36,800 --> 01:00:40,020
You're not gonna stop it?
Look, all I want is a fair fight.
955
01:00:40,180 --> 01:00:43,270
Fair fight? Look at his arms,
they're like redwoods.
956
01:00:43,440 --> 01:00:44,850
RAUPP:
Yeah. Aren't they great?
957
01:00:45,020 --> 01:00:46,770
Okay. Pretty simple.
958
01:00:46,940 --> 01:00:51,440
No biting, scratching, hair-pulling.
None of that sissy stuff, okay?
959
01:00:51,610 --> 01:00:53,070
Headbutt?
Definitely.
960
01:00:53,240 --> 01:00:56,740
And remember, once your
opponent loses consciousness...
961
01:00:56,910 --> 01:00:58,280
...the beating is over.
962
01:00:58,450 --> 01:00:59,910
Okay?
963
01:01:00,080 --> 01:01:01,240
And...
964
01:01:01,790 --> 01:01:03,000
...fight.
965
01:01:06,790 --> 01:01:08,630
Cooverman, Bison pride.
966
01:01:09,250 --> 01:01:11,090
No, I'm not gonna fight him.
967
01:01:11,260 --> 01:01:13,880
Don't be such a pussy, pussy.
Come on.
968
01:01:14,180 --> 01:01:17,840
Look, Kevin,
you've won, okay?
969
01:01:18,010 --> 01:01:19,260
You got the girl...
970
01:01:19,430 --> 01:01:22,100
...you've humiliated me
in front of all my peers.
971
01:01:22,270 --> 01:01:26,190
I apologize and surrender
unconditionally.
972
01:01:27,270 --> 01:01:28,610
[GRUNTS]
973
01:01:29,070 --> 01:01:30,900
Denis.
974
01:01:31,070 --> 01:01:32,570
PATTY:
Denny, your face.
975
01:01:32,740 --> 01:01:36,820
Wow. Ha, ha. Oh, man!
That was great.
976
01:01:36,990 --> 01:01:38,530
Are you okay?
977
01:01:39,280 --> 01:01:40,330
Get up!
978
01:01:41,910 --> 01:01:43,830
You can take him.
No, no.
979
01:01:44,000 --> 01:01:45,160
You can do this.
980
01:01:45,790 --> 01:01:48,170
Get up! Come on.
981
01:01:48,670 --> 01:01:50,540
Hey!
982
01:01:50,710 --> 01:01:51,880
Leave my friend alone!
983
01:01:52,710 --> 01:01:54,840
[GRUNTING]
984
01:01:56,470 --> 01:01:57,510
Let's get him.
985
01:02:01,850 --> 01:02:03,930
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Timeout, Salo...
986
01:02:10,190 --> 01:02:11,900
That all you got, son, huh?
987
01:02:26,160 --> 01:02:28,870
Now, Denis, where were we?
988
01:02:30,540 --> 01:02:32,540
[TIRES SQUEALING]
989
01:02:52,230 --> 01:02:53,980
[OVER PA]
Denis Cooverman.
990
01:02:57,240 --> 01:02:58,400
Come on.
991
01:03:01,660 --> 01:03:03,450
KEVIN: Where do you
think you're going?
992
01:03:07,830 --> 01:03:09,920
BETH: Okay, time to get
in the car! Get in the car.
993
01:03:10,420 --> 01:03:13,080
Denis! Come on.
994
01:03:19,260 --> 01:03:20,510
VALET:
Watch it!
995
01:03:28,270 --> 01:03:29,770
[BETH WHOOPS]
996
01:03:29,940 --> 01:03:32,770
Do you know how many laws
you just broke?
997
01:03:32,940 --> 01:03:35,270
Grand theft auto,
criminal destruction of property...
998
01:03:35,440 --> 01:03:38,070
...assault with a deadly weapon,
aggravated battery...
999
01:03:38,240 --> 01:03:42,410
...leaving the scene of an accident,
speeding, and now failure to stop!
1000
01:03:42,570 --> 01:03:46,200
That's seven, at least!
That's a new record!
1001
01:03:46,370 --> 01:03:48,450
I don't think that's
a record.
1002
01:03:48,620 --> 01:03:50,290
DENIS:
I think you should pull over.
1003
01:03:50,460 --> 01:03:51,620
Pull over, Beth.
Ha.
1004
01:03:51,960 --> 01:03:54,040
Hey, how about this?
How about:
1005
01:03:54,210 --> 01:03:58,050
"Thank you. Thank you, Beth,
for saving my life again?"
1006
01:03:58,210 --> 01:04:01,550
Saving my life? Saving my...?
1007
01:04:02,130 --> 01:04:05,100
You're the one who almost ran
over me with a military vehicle...
1008
01:04:05,260 --> 01:04:07,970
...owned by some homicidal
rage ape you call a boyfriend...
1009
01:04:08,140 --> 01:04:09,980
...who's been trying
to kill me all night!
1010
01:04:10,140 --> 01:04:12,270
You're spitting your blood
at me! Pbbt.
1011
01:04:12,440 --> 01:04:15,020
You're supposed to keep
your bodily fluids to yourself.
1012
01:04:15,190 --> 01:04:19,860
You know what?
This is not fun anymore.
1013
01:04:21,950 --> 01:04:24,110
Who said it's supposed
to be fun?
1014
01:04:43,680 --> 01:04:45,470
Everybody out.
1015
01:04:49,810 --> 01:04:52,980
Uh-uh. No, no, no.
What are we doing here?
1016
01:04:53,140 --> 01:04:54,640
I have a key to the school.
1017
01:04:54,810 --> 01:04:56,440
You have a key to the school.
1018
01:04:56,610 --> 01:04:59,860
Head cheerleader is a position
of trust and responsibility.
1019
01:05:00,030 --> 01:05:02,490
Heh, heh. Fools.
Ha, ha, ha.
1020
01:05:08,870 --> 01:05:12,370
Come on, Denis. This is the least
illegal thing we've done all night.
1021
01:05:12,540 --> 01:05:14,370
Sit. You'll enjoy it.
1022
01:05:19,880 --> 01:05:21,760
Ready, girls?
Yes.
1023
01:05:21,920 --> 01:05:24,260
[CHANTING]
Five, six, seven, eight!
1024
01:05:24,430 --> 01:05:27,390
Are you ready?
Ready for the best
1025
01:05:27,550 --> 01:05:30,760
B-G, number one
Oh, yeah, nothing less
1026
01:05:30,930 --> 01:05:33,560
Five, six, seven, eight!
1027
01:05:33,730 --> 01:05:36,900
We're going to the top
We can't be stopped
1028
01:05:37,060 --> 01:05:39,400
Come on, girls
Yell yellow!
1029
01:05:39,820 --> 01:05:41,150
Yellow.
1030
01:05:41,320 --> 01:05:42,530
GROUP:
Yell blue!
1031
01:05:42,690 --> 01:05:43,940
Blue!
1032
01:05:44,320 --> 01:05:47,280
GROUP: Mighty Bisons
Oh, yeah, let's fight
1033
01:05:47,450 --> 01:05:50,240
Ready and slow it down.
1034
01:05:50,410 --> 01:05:54,410
Can you feel it? What?
Can you feel the heat?
1035
01:05:54,580 --> 01:05:58,210
Yellow and blue
Oh, yeah, how sweet
1036
01:05:58,500 --> 01:06:01,170
Ready and last time
1037
01:06:01,340 --> 01:06:04,710
With spirit and spark
We steal the show
1038
01:06:04,880 --> 01:06:08,260
Mighty Bisons, kiss, kiss
Gotta go!
1039
01:06:08,430 --> 01:06:09,970
Yeah!
1040
01:06:11,430 --> 01:06:13,430
[LAUGHING]
1041
01:06:32,200 --> 01:06:34,120
Let's hit the showers.
1042
01:06:34,290 --> 01:06:37,290
Showers! Showers!
Yay!
1043
01:06:38,290 --> 01:06:40,710
BETH: Let's go! Come on, hurry!
TREECE: Showers!
1044
01:06:40,880 --> 01:06:42,880
[TREECE & BETH WHOOPING
AND SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
1045
01:06:51,430 --> 01:06:53,760
They're hitting the showers.
Yeah.
1046
01:06:53,930 --> 01:06:55,220
Come on!
1047
01:06:55,390 --> 01:06:58,230
L... l... I'd love to. I just, um...
1048
01:06:58,390 --> 01:07:01,810
I don't think we were invited.
Uh, I'm pretty sure we were.
1049
01:07:04,150 --> 01:07:06,480
You know, Rich...
1050
01:07:07,740 --> 01:07:10,160
...you don't have to prove anything.
1051
01:07:17,080 --> 01:07:19,080
[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]
1052
01:07:27,800 --> 01:07:29,800
[BETH SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
1053
01:07:33,180 --> 01:07:34,760
BETH:
Some woman.
1054
01:07:36,220 --> 01:07:37,600
Oh, yeah.
1055
01:07:38,520 --> 01:07:41,850
I said yes, immediately.
I was like...
1056
01:07:43,610 --> 01:07:45,520
Sorry.
BETH: Denis.
1057
01:07:50,360 --> 01:07:52,030
Don't be shy.
1058
01:08:00,290 --> 01:08:01,370
[MOANS]
1059
01:08:01,540 --> 01:08:02,830
God.
1060
01:08:03,040 --> 01:08:04,380
Oh.
1061
01:08:08,880 --> 01:08:11,630
TREECE: Hey, space boy.
Come get wet.
1062
01:08:12,260 --> 01:08:14,260
[GIRLS GIGGLING AND SHRIEKING]
1063
01:08:17,890 --> 01:08:20,390
That invitation
good enough for you?
1064
01:08:21,390 --> 01:08:24,020
I just don't think we should be...
1065
01:08:24,190 --> 01:08:26,900
Stop! Stop thinking
with your brain, dude.
1066
01:08:27,070 --> 01:08:31,280
I don't wanna ruin anything.
There's nothing left to ruin!
1067
01:08:31,450 --> 01:08:33,740
You know, except maybe this.
1068
01:08:33,910 --> 01:08:36,740
And this, my friend,
is a rare occasion.
1069
01:08:36,910 --> 01:08:38,910
Chances like this don't
come along every day.
1070
01:08:39,080 --> 01:08:40,580
In fact,
they never come along.
1071
01:08:40,750 --> 01:08:42,250
This does not happen!
1072
01:08:42,410 --> 01:08:44,250
TREECE:
Are you guys coming?
1073
01:08:45,290 --> 01:08:50,880
"Carpe diem. Seize the day, boys.
Make your lives extraordinary."
1074
01:08:51,050 --> 01:08:53,680
Robin Williams, and your dad.
1075
01:08:55,590 --> 01:09:00,390
I'm just trying to make it
through the night alive, okay?
1076
01:09:00,640 --> 01:09:02,980
You're not alive unless you're living.
1077
01:09:05,270 --> 01:09:06,440
Who said that?
1078
01:09:08,570 --> 01:09:10,110
I think I did.
1079
01:09:13,570 --> 01:09:15,780
"Here's Johnny!"
1080
01:09:16,120 --> 01:09:18,120
[ROARING]
1081
01:09:18,580 --> 01:09:20,580
[GIRLS SHRIEKING]
1082
01:09:30,090 --> 01:09:32,510
Carpe diem.
1083
01:09:39,010 --> 01:09:41,010
[HUMMING]
1084
01:09:50,480 --> 01:09:51,820
Beth.
1085
01:09:52,860 --> 01:09:56,150
Gotta tell you, you're in for a treat.
1086
01:09:56,320 --> 01:09:59,990
Been reading a few
of my mom's ladies magazines...
1087
01:10:00,160 --> 01:10:04,330
...and they've got a couple secrets
on how to ultimately pleasure you.
1088
01:10:04,500 --> 01:10:06,000
[GRUNTING]
1089
01:10:16,220 --> 01:10:19,550
How did you find us?!
LoJack, dipshit.
1090
01:10:19,720 --> 01:10:21,760
RICH:
Man of war!
1091
01:10:22,720 --> 01:10:25,390
Taste my wet blade.
1092
01:10:26,850 --> 01:10:28,810
[GRUNTING]
1093
01:10:33,530 --> 01:10:36,030
BETH: Come on! Get your stuff!
RICH: Go!
1094
01:10:36,200 --> 01:10:39,030
DENIS: Are you sure?
I can handle these three.
1095
01:10:40,410 --> 01:10:43,280
I've been preparing for this
all my life.
1096
01:10:43,580 --> 01:10:45,750
Help! Help!
1097
01:10:48,620 --> 01:10:50,630
[LAUGHING]
1098
01:10:55,630 --> 01:10:57,720
BOY:
Come on, let's get out of here.
1099
01:11:05,220 --> 01:11:06,850
Never again.
1100
01:11:14,610 --> 01:11:15,940
Yes!
1101
01:11:40,930 --> 01:11:43,590
Come on, hurry up!
I'm trying, stop moving!
1102
01:11:43,760 --> 01:11:45,850
BETH:
What happened to your pants?
1103
01:11:46,020 --> 01:11:47,930
Your boyfriend has them.
1104
01:11:48,100 --> 01:11:50,390
Okay, we gotta go, come on.
Get your stuff!
1105
01:11:50,560 --> 01:11:52,270
Come on, come on, come on!
1106
01:11:57,690 --> 01:12:01,610
Aw, how sweet.
Kevin brought back my car.
1107
01:12:01,780 --> 01:12:02,950
Come on!
1108
01:12:03,120 --> 01:12:04,370
DENIS:
Hey, what about Rich?
1109
01:12:04,530 --> 01:12:06,530
[RICH & KEVIN GRUNTING]
1110
01:12:31,640 --> 01:12:35,150
Yah! Is that all you've got?
1111
01:12:35,310 --> 01:12:37,900
Oh. Oh, one more?
1112
01:12:39,900 --> 01:12:42,200
Ha, ha, ha. Classic.
1113
01:12:47,790 --> 01:12:49,790
[LAUGHING]
1114
01:12:51,160 --> 01:12:52,910
Guys!
DENIS: Rich!
1115
01:12:53,080 --> 01:12:56,080
Rich, I got your clothes.
Hurry up.
1116
01:12:58,170 --> 01:13:00,880
Yah!
TREECE: Come on, come on, come on!
1117
01:13:01,050 --> 01:13:02,840
Okay, go, go.
1118
01:13:06,350 --> 01:13:08,140
[TRUCK HORN HONKING]
1119
01:13:10,470 --> 01:13:12,520
Goddamn truck drivers.
1120
01:13:12,680 --> 01:13:14,190
Where are we going?
1121
01:13:14,560 --> 01:13:16,520
We can go to
my dad's cabin.
1122
01:13:16,690 --> 01:13:20,360
I can go there anytime I want as
long as I don't tell Mom where it is.
1123
01:13:20,900 --> 01:13:24,110
You know what, I just, um...
I wanna go home.
1124
01:13:24,280 --> 01:13:26,700
You know, you're the one
who started this.
1125
01:13:27,740 --> 01:13:28,950
Me?
1126
01:13:29,120 --> 01:13:30,950
Yeah, you.
1127
01:13:31,120 --> 01:13:34,330
You're the geek who, in front of the
entire school, our friends and family...
1128
01:13:34,500 --> 01:13:37,500
...declared your love for someone
you don't know a thing about.
1129
01:13:37,790 --> 01:13:40,380
He knows a lot about you.
Quiz him.
1130
01:13:41,590 --> 01:13:45,800
He knows your locker combo.
He knows your favorite antiperspirant.
1131
01:13:46,300 --> 01:13:48,050
He knows your blood type.
1132
01:13:48,220 --> 01:13:52,770
Okay, I hate to remind you this,
Beth, but you said it was sweet.
1133
01:13:53,980 --> 01:13:57,850
You did. Oh, my God,
and you came to my house.
1134
01:13:58,020 --> 01:14:01,270
If you didn't think it was sweet,
why would you come to my house?
1135
01:14:01,440 --> 01:14:03,070
What do you think,
super genius?
1136
01:14:03,240 --> 01:14:04,690
We thought
it would be funny.
1137
01:14:09,160 --> 01:14:10,990
Oh. Okay.
1138
01:14:15,540 --> 01:14:19,130
Are you just gonna keep bleeding?
Yeah, for about three days.
1139
01:14:19,590 --> 01:14:21,750
Just put your head back.
1140
01:14:22,880 --> 01:14:25,760
Now it's dripping down my throat.
Here.
1141
01:14:25,920 --> 01:14:28,800
Stick these up there.
They're super absorbent.
1142
01:14:51,620 --> 01:14:55,750
Listen,
about what Cammy said before.
1143
01:14:56,160 --> 01:14:58,500
She thought it would be funny.
1144
01:15:00,290 --> 01:15:04,800
I mean, we all thought
it would be a fun thing to do.
1145
01:15:07,420 --> 01:15:10,090
Guess I did think
it would be a little funny.
1146
01:15:12,140 --> 01:15:13,510
I'm sorry.
1147
01:15:15,640 --> 01:15:18,180
Guys tell me they love me
all the time.
1148
01:15:18,600 --> 01:15:21,730
And it's usually because
they want something.
1149
01:15:24,230 --> 01:15:27,820
Well, it was kind of funny,
right?
1150
01:15:29,700 --> 01:15:30,860
Ha, ha, ha.
1151
01:15:31,070 --> 01:15:32,780
[BOTH LAUGHING]
1152
01:15:32,950 --> 01:15:36,120
Please, take those out now.
Your wish.
1153
01:15:36,660 --> 01:15:38,500
[GRUNTING]
1154
01:15:38,660 --> 01:15:40,830
[BOTH GROAN]
1155
01:15:44,040 --> 01:15:45,880
BETH:
Can I say something personal?
1156
01:15:46,210 --> 01:15:47,550
Sure.
1157
01:15:48,510 --> 01:15:50,510
You smell like
a dead homeless guy.
1158
01:15:51,010 --> 01:15:52,180
[LAUGHS]
1159
01:15:52,340 --> 01:15:56,180
Yeah, it's probably my shirt.
There's hummus.
1160
01:15:56,430 --> 01:15:57,890
Take it off.
1161
01:15:58,100 --> 01:16:00,520
Oh, no, I can leave it on,
it's fine.
1162
01:16:00,940 --> 01:16:03,850
I'm not gonna molest you.
Take it off.
1163
01:16:06,650 --> 01:16:08,940
Take it off,
take it off.
1164
01:16:17,290 --> 01:16:19,700
Let me just air it out a little.
1165
01:16:20,460 --> 01:16:22,160
Oh, shit!
1166
01:16:24,540 --> 01:16:25,880
[TREECE GASPS]
1167
01:16:28,090 --> 01:16:29,300
BETH:
Sorry.
1168
01:16:40,810 --> 01:16:44,230
Okay, it was somewhere
around here. You can stop.
1169
01:16:49,900 --> 01:16:51,900
[CAMMY AND RICH LAUGHING]
1170
01:16:53,740 --> 01:16:56,120
Oh, my God. What?
1171
01:16:58,120 --> 01:16:59,950
Really? Dude.
1172
01:17:01,620 --> 01:17:03,580
I think those are
his lucky underpants.
1173
01:17:07,420 --> 01:17:09,130
Give me my poncho.
1174
01:17:10,420 --> 01:17:12,420
Give me my poncho.
RICH: Oh, my God.
1175
01:17:13,220 --> 01:17:16,090
What are you doing?
You're so mean.
1176
01:17:16,260 --> 01:17:17,600
RICH:
What?
1177
01:17:17,760 --> 01:17:19,680
DENIS:
Actually, I got these as a gag gift...
1178
01:17:19,850 --> 01:17:22,100
...so it's appropriate
that you're laughing.
1179
01:17:22,270 --> 01:17:26,100
No, it's good, I'm happy that you're...
You guys got the joke! Good one.
1180
01:17:26,270 --> 01:17:28,650
Get in here.
No, purple's not really my color.
1181
01:17:28,820 --> 01:17:32,190
It's fuchsia and it's
my favorite color. Sorry.
1182
01:17:32,360 --> 01:17:33,940
That's fine.
Okay.
1183
01:17:34,110 --> 01:17:35,820
There we go.
All better.
1184
01:17:35,990 --> 01:17:38,780
How do I look? Good?
Great.
1185
01:17:42,700 --> 01:17:45,870
Ha, ha, ha.
That pink poncho's sort of cute.
1186
01:17:46,710 --> 01:17:47,830
What?
1187
01:17:49,040 --> 01:17:50,500
Goddamn Kevin.
1188
01:17:50,670 --> 01:17:54,470
Because of you I am in the middle
of nowhere looking for a shirt.
1189
01:17:54,630 --> 01:17:57,760
Oh, yeah, no,
goddamn that Kevin.
1190
01:17:59,470 --> 01:18:01,470
Why do you even go out
with him, anyway?
1191
01:18:02,430 --> 01:18:06,690
In the beginning, he was sweet.
He made me laugh.
1192
01:18:07,310 --> 01:18:10,560
And when he smiled...
He was really hot.
1193
01:18:13,030 --> 01:18:14,490
I don't know.
1194
01:18:14,650 --> 01:18:19,570
Guess it was the way other girls
looked at me when I was with him.
1195
01:18:20,200 --> 01:18:21,830
I felt proud.
1196
01:18:22,330 --> 01:18:28,000
Thought I was the lucky girl
this big, strong Army guy chose.
1197
01:18:28,500 --> 01:18:30,330
It didn't bother you
that he was an a...?
1198
01:18:30,500 --> 01:18:31,540
An asshole?
1199
01:18:31,710 --> 01:18:33,420
Yeah.
1200
01:18:33,920 --> 01:18:37,170
I just made excuses
for him because...
1201
01:18:39,090 --> 01:18:41,350
...it was nice to feel wanted.
1202
01:18:41,680 --> 01:18:43,430
See, I don't get that...
1203
01:18:43,600 --> 01:18:47,520
...because there are so many guys
who would love to be with you.
1204
01:18:47,690 --> 01:18:50,650
Yeah. For a night, maybe.
1205
01:18:54,690 --> 01:18:58,320
So why did you do it?
The speech?
1206
01:18:59,240 --> 01:19:00,700
I don't know.
1207
01:19:01,530 --> 01:19:02,950
It's just...
1208
01:19:04,240 --> 01:19:06,540
You're the
head cheerleader...
1209
01:19:06,710 --> 01:19:08,540
...and I'm the captain
of the debate team.
1210
01:19:08,710 --> 01:19:13,290
And I know it's ridiculous to think
that you and me would even...
1211
01:19:16,130 --> 01:19:18,510
I guess I just wanted
to talk to you.
1212
01:19:20,760 --> 01:19:23,510
And I never did,
and then I realized...
1213
01:19:24,890 --> 01:19:27,430
...that was my last chance,
you know?
1214
01:19:29,440 --> 01:19:31,310
Well, I'm glad you did.
1215
01:19:35,530 --> 01:19:38,320
Look! Your shirt.
1216
01:19:39,860 --> 01:19:43,070
Oh, uh, um...
1217
01:19:47,080 --> 01:19:48,410
Oh.
1218
01:19:49,540 --> 01:19:50,870
Aw.
1219
01:19:51,120 --> 01:19:54,250
Hi! Oh, you're so cute!
Hi, little fella.
1220
01:19:54,590 --> 01:19:57,840
Hey, no. No, that's not food.
BETH: Hi, cutie!
1221
01:19:58,010 --> 01:20:00,260
That's my shirt.
Okay, so just, uh...
1222
01:20:01,090 --> 01:20:03,090
[SNARLING]
1223
01:20:03,260 --> 01:20:05,260
[BOTH SCREAMING]
1224
01:20:09,560 --> 01:20:10,730
DENIS:
He looked at me!
1225
01:20:10,890 --> 01:20:14,020
He looked right at me!
He's gonna eat me!
1226
01:20:23,320 --> 01:20:25,830
BETH:
Whoo! Party!
1227
01:20:27,080 --> 01:20:29,080
[CHATTERING AND LAUGHING]
1228
01:20:39,380 --> 01:20:41,050
Smells like death
in here.
1229
01:20:41,220 --> 01:20:45,590
My dad just bought all this stuff.
He's never killed anything.
1230
01:20:45,760 --> 01:20:47,890
They are kind of cute, huh?
Rawr.
1231
01:20:48,970 --> 01:20:51,140
Dude,
you look ridiculous.
1232
01:20:51,310 --> 01:20:53,480
Well, what am I supposed
to do? I don't...
1233
01:20:53,650 --> 01:20:54,690
Treece, darling...
1234
01:20:54,860 --> 01:20:57,020
would you get this lovely
lady something to wear?
1235
01:20:57,190 --> 01:20:58,570
Yeah, try the bedroom.
1236
01:20:58,820 --> 01:21:00,650
Okay, who wants a drink?
1237
01:21:00,820 --> 01:21:03,150
I do, please.
I want one.
1238
01:21:03,990 --> 01:21:05,610
[IN RUSSIAN ACCENT]
Vodka! Hee, hee.
1239
01:21:14,500 --> 01:21:16,170
[IN NORMAL VOICE]
Okay, a toast.
1240
01:21:16,630 --> 01:21:19,710
You know what's weird?
I didn't give this to him.
1241
01:21:20,590 --> 01:21:25,180
Anyway, to the world's
greatest night.
1242
01:21:25,340 --> 01:21:27,180
Yeah.
Whoo!
1243
01:21:33,690 --> 01:21:35,690
[TREECE & BETH GASPING]
1244
01:21:36,020 --> 01:21:38,810
Wow.
BETH: Look, it's almost morning.
1245
01:21:40,150 --> 01:21:43,360
Does anyone wanna come
watch the sunrise with me?
1246
01:21:44,200 --> 01:21:45,490
Yeah.
1247
01:21:47,490 --> 01:21:49,490
[GIGGLING]
1248
01:21:59,170 --> 01:22:00,840
Hey.
1249
01:22:01,920 --> 01:22:04,010
Hey, can I ask
you something?
1250
01:22:04,670 --> 01:22:05,880
What?
1251
01:22:06,300 --> 01:22:08,470
It's about
your brother.
1252
01:22:10,140 --> 01:22:11,560
What about him?
1253
01:22:12,720 --> 01:22:14,640
What was
his name?
1254
01:22:15,810 --> 01:22:17,140
David.
1255
01:22:18,560 --> 01:22:20,060
What was he like?
1256
01:22:21,480 --> 01:22:24,190
He was already sick
when I was born.
1257
01:22:24,570 --> 01:22:27,660
Died when I was 2.
He was 12.
1258
01:22:28,910 --> 01:22:31,080
I don't remember him
at all.
1259
01:22:31,580 --> 01:22:35,700
There's this picture of me
visiting him at the hospital...
1260
01:22:35,870 --> 01:22:39,120
...and it's like he's
just some sick kid.
1261
01:22:39,290 --> 01:22:44,090
It's the big, dramatic tragedy
of my life, and I wasn't even there.
1262
01:22:44,710 --> 01:22:47,800
DENIS:
Yeah, but you were there.
1263
01:22:48,340 --> 01:22:51,050
I mean, maybe
you don't remember...
1264
01:22:51,760 --> 01:22:53,600
...but I'll bet it
meant a lot to him.
1265
01:22:54,430 --> 01:22:57,390
BETH: Thank you.
That was very sweet.
1266
01:23:07,280 --> 01:23:09,610
"Say hello to my little friend!"
1267
01:23:09,780 --> 01:23:11,450
Ha, ha, ha.
Wow.
1268
01:23:11,620 --> 01:23:12,910
What?
1269
01:23:13,080 --> 01:23:16,540
Scarface. Pacino,
'82, De Palma.
1270
01:23:18,580 --> 01:23:19,870
Look.
1271
01:23:24,630 --> 01:23:27,920
"Fill your hands,
you son of a bitch!"
1272
01:23:29,300 --> 01:23:30,470
[GRUNTING]
1273
01:23:30,640 --> 01:23:32,300
[LAUGHING]
1274
01:23:32,470 --> 01:23:33,510
What?
1275
01:23:35,350 --> 01:23:39,310
It's John Wayne.
It's John Wayne, 1969, True Grit.
1276
01:23:40,150 --> 01:23:42,650
Oh, my God!
I peed, I peed, I peed!
1277
01:23:42,810 --> 01:23:44,820
[LAUGHING]
1278
01:23:45,030 --> 01:23:47,650
No, it's not...
It's not that funny.
1279
01:23:47,820 --> 01:23:50,570
No, it is, because you...
1280
01:23:53,700 --> 01:23:55,490
Why, because you think I'm gay?
1281
01:23:58,330 --> 01:23:59,710
You think incorrectly.
1282
01:23:59,870 --> 01:24:02,670
The lady doth protest
too much, methinks.
1283
01:24:02,830 --> 01:24:03,880
What?
1284
01:24:04,420 --> 01:24:06,170
Like you know Shakespeare.
1285
01:24:06,840 --> 01:24:10,090
Queen Gertrude to
Hamlet, Act III, Scene 2...
1286
01:24:10,260 --> 01:24:14,510
...1602, William Shakespeare,
or possibly Edward de Vere.
1287
01:24:15,220 --> 01:24:16,560
Wow.
1288
01:24:16,770 --> 01:24:18,180
That's... Wow.
1289
01:24:18,350 --> 01:24:20,020
Yeah.
1290
01:24:22,190 --> 01:24:24,270
BETH:
Wow, look at the sun.
1291
01:24:24,440 --> 01:24:26,270
It's so big
and pretty.
1292
01:24:26,440 --> 01:24:29,030
Well, that's an optical illusion.
1293
01:24:29,190 --> 01:24:31,860
There are certain things
that appear larger...
1294
01:24:32,030 --> 01:24:34,570
...in context to the objects
around them.
1295
01:24:36,580 --> 01:24:38,990
You know everything,
Denis Cooverman.
1296
01:24:39,450 --> 01:24:43,710
No, no, not everything.
There are some things I don't know.
1297
01:24:44,290 --> 01:24:46,000
Multiple things.
1298
01:24:46,540 --> 01:24:49,960
Well, I'll tell you one thing
you know nothing about.
1299
01:24:50,130 --> 01:24:52,970
When a girl says the
sunrise is big or pretty...
1300
01:24:53,130 --> 01:24:54,550
...you know what you say?
1301
01:24:55,680 --> 01:24:58,060
Not what I said,
presumably?
1302
01:24:58,220 --> 01:24:59,520
You don't say anything.
1303
01:24:59,680 --> 01:25:01,810
You just put your arm
around her.
1304
01:25:05,940 --> 01:25:08,270
You know, just something
for future reference.
1305
01:25:10,570 --> 01:25:14,030
For future reference,
I'll remember that.
1306
01:25:19,740 --> 01:25:23,330
If you're not gay, why so
unchubby in the shower?
1307
01:25:23,500 --> 01:25:26,960
Heh, heh, l...
I was just being cool.
1308
01:25:27,130 --> 01:25:30,250
It was uncool
of you to notice.
1309
01:25:30,880 --> 01:25:33,510
No 18-year-old boy
is that cool.
1310
01:25:33,680 --> 01:25:36,510
I am that cool.
1311
01:25:37,600 --> 01:25:40,100
Nobody cares
if you're gay.
1312
01:25:41,980 --> 01:25:43,270
I'm not.
1313
01:25:43,430 --> 01:25:47,980
Nobody cares, so
just be gay already!
1314
01:25:50,020 --> 01:25:54,440
You, Richard Munsch,
have never been with a woman.
1315
01:25:54,990 --> 01:25:56,660
Never been
with one.
1316
01:25:56,820 --> 01:25:58,240
Wha?
1317
01:26:00,120 --> 01:26:01,450
Um...
1318
01:26:01,620 --> 01:26:03,620
[BOTH GIGGLING]
1319
01:26:12,050 --> 01:26:13,380
Watch...
1320
01:26:13,550 --> 01:26:14,880
TREECE:
And learn.
1321
01:26:19,680 --> 01:26:22,930
That's nice, it's nice. Yeah.
1322
01:26:23,100 --> 01:26:25,140
You cool?
Uh...
1323
01:26:25,310 --> 01:26:28,400
Long as everyone else
is cool.
1324
01:26:30,440 --> 01:26:33,820
Hey, there is
my chest hair.
1325
01:26:35,150 --> 01:26:37,490
Yeah, I'm liking that.
I am, uh...
1326
01:26:37,910 --> 01:26:39,780
[MOANING]
1327
01:26:39,950 --> 01:26:42,370
Yeah, definitely reacted
to that.
1328
01:26:43,540 --> 01:26:44,870
Uh...
1329
01:26:45,790 --> 01:26:49,080
Hey, this is, wow, great,
you know, really top-notch...
1330
01:26:49,250 --> 01:26:53,210
...but I left my latex sheaths
back at the house, so...
1331
01:26:53,380 --> 01:26:54,420
That's okay.
1332
01:26:54,590 --> 01:26:56,010
Treece's got some,
don't you, Treece?
1333
01:26:56,170 --> 01:26:57,670
I've got gobs.
1334
01:26:57,840 --> 01:26:59,130
Gobs?
1335
01:27:11,520 --> 01:27:15,030
Well, that
was expedient.
1336
01:27:15,360 --> 01:27:17,860
But at least we know
you're not gay.
1337
01:27:18,030 --> 01:27:21,240
Yeah, tell that to my dad.
What's his number?
1338
01:27:28,290 --> 01:27:30,080
So do you
still love me?
1339
01:27:30,920 --> 01:27:32,040
Yeah.
1340
01:27:32,210 --> 01:27:35,050
Am I everything you've
ever masturbated to?
1341
01:27:35,710 --> 01:27:37,800
No, it's not like that
with you.
1342
01:27:37,970 --> 01:27:41,800
I mean, you're different
than I imagined.
1343
01:27:42,390 --> 01:27:45,310
You're real.
1344
01:27:46,470 --> 01:27:47,680
And scary.
1345
01:27:48,060 --> 01:27:49,060
[LAUGHING]
1346
01:27:49,230 --> 01:27:51,940
And exciting and fun.
1347
01:27:52,190 --> 01:27:54,900
But I thought you said
this wasn't fun.
1348
01:27:58,030 --> 01:28:01,070
All my memories from
high school are from tonight.
1349
01:28:06,410 --> 01:28:08,200
You gotta get out more often.
1350
01:28:09,000 --> 01:28:11,160
Yeah.
Yeah.
1351
01:28:12,670 --> 01:28:14,380
Where are you
going to college?
1352
01:28:14,540 --> 01:28:15,920
NYU.
1353
01:28:16,920 --> 01:28:19,630
What are you majoring in?
Acting.
1354
01:28:19,800 --> 01:28:22,300
Shut up. Shut up!
Mm-hm. Yeah.
1355
01:28:22,470 --> 01:28:23,680
Me too.
Really?
1356
01:28:23,850 --> 01:28:25,300
Yeah, and directing.
Wow.
1357
01:28:25,930 --> 01:28:28,810
If you wanna be an actress,
why weren't you in Drama Club?
1358
01:28:29,730 --> 01:28:32,810
Social survival.
That's a good call.
1359
01:28:32,980 --> 01:28:34,650
Mm-hm.
1360
01:28:34,810 --> 01:28:37,650
So who is your
favorite director?
1361
01:28:37,820 --> 01:28:40,070
Hello,
it was a threesome.
1362
01:28:41,780 --> 01:28:43,450
Wow.
1363
01:28:44,780 --> 01:28:47,370
I know high school
wasn't great for you.
1364
01:28:48,450 --> 01:28:50,200
No, it was...
1365
01:28:51,290 --> 01:28:52,620
...completely awful.
1366
01:28:55,500 --> 01:28:59,210
You see, the thing is,
high school was great for me.
1367
01:29:00,630 --> 01:29:03,300
I had a great, great ride.
1368
01:29:06,140 --> 01:29:07,800
And now it's over.
1369
01:29:10,770 --> 01:29:14,390
You, you're gonna go off
and become a doctor...
1370
01:29:14,560 --> 01:29:18,230
...and cure cancer or whatever
new diseases there are.
1371
01:29:19,230 --> 01:29:20,610
But this?
1372
01:29:22,530 --> 01:29:24,650
This is about it for me.
1373
01:29:27,120 --> 01:29:31,040
Everything in my life from here
on out is just gonna be...
1374
01:29:35,210 --> 01:29:36,710
...ordinary.
1375
01:29:39,380 --> 01:29:40,670
Wow.
1376
01:29:40,840 --> 01:29:44,090
That's such...
1377
01:29:44,680 --> 01:29:46,300
...bullshit.
1378
01:29:46,840 --> 01:29:48,180
Heh.
1379
01:29:48,470 --> 01:29:50,510
Because the Beth Cooper
I know?
1380
01:29:50,680 --> 01:29:53,520
The one that I now know...
1381
01:29:53,680 --> 01:29:59,190
...is the most alive person
I've ever met.
1382
01:30:01,650 --> 01:30:03,490
The Beth Cooper
I know...
1383
01:30:03,650 --> 01:30:05,360
...she's not gonna have
an ordinary life.
1384
01:30:05,530 --> 01:30:07,860
She's gonna have an amazing life.
1385
01:30:08,030 --> 01:30:09,910
Slightly insane...
1386
01:30:10,080 --> 01:30:12,990
...but never uninteresting...
1387
01:30:14,210 --> 01:30:16,670
...always ass-kicking...
1388
01:30:17,920 --> 01:30:19,210
...life.
1389
01:30:20,210 --> 01:30:22,710
How do you know that?
1390
01:30:24,050 --> 01:30:26,630
Because I'm a very smart guy.
1391
01:30:42,480 --> 01:30:43,900
All right,
thank you very much.
1392
01:30:44,070 --> 01:30:45,110
Any luck?
1393
01:30:45,280 --> 01:30:47,740
No, they can't send anyone
out till next week.
1394
01:30:47,910 --> 01:30:48,910
Explain this to me:
1395
01:30:49,070 --> 01:30:50,990
How do you put a
microwave into the wall?
1396
01:30:51,160 --> 01:30:52,740
God only knows.
1397
01:30:52,910 --> 01:30:55,830
Oh, hi. I need to get
my kitchen repaired.
1398
01:30:59,250 --> 01:31:01,790
COOVERMAN:
Haven't I seen that car before?
1399
01:31:03,090 --> 01:31:04,420
MRS. COOVERMAN:
Oh!
1400
01:31:04,590 --> 01:31:07,470
Denis!
What happened to you?
1401
01:31:07,630 --> 01:31:09,840
I'm okay. I'm okay.
1402
01:31:14,970 --> 01:31:18,690
I can't talk about this.
I'm gonna go make pancakes.
1403
01:31:20,400 --> 01:31:22,860
Or did she already
make you breakfast?
1404
01:31:23,900 --> 01:31:25,230
[WHIMPERS]
1405
01:31:26,490 --> 01:31:27,820
Wow.
1406
01:31:30,490 --> 01:31:33,240
I talked to your dad, Rich.
Yeah?
1407
01:31:33,410 --> 01:31:35,990
You might wanna hang out
here for the rest of the day.
1408
01:31:36,160 --> 01:31:38,410
Okay.
COOVERMAN: And tomorrow.
1409
01:31:38,580 --> 01:31:42,250
Okay.
You know, just until it's safe.
1410
01:31:42,500 --> 01:31:44,340
Got it. Thanks.
1411
01:31:48,130 --> 01:31:51,430
I hope you had fun.
I did.
1412
01:31:52,970 --> 01:31:56,010
You know we have to
punish you, somehow?
1413
01:31:56,180 --> 01:31:59,480
Yeah. Figured that.
1414
01:31:59,640 --> 01:32:02,150
What do they do these days?
Do they still ground you?
1415
01:32:02,310 --> 01:32:04,900
I don't even know.
I don't know either.
1416
01:32:05,070 --> 01:32:06,480
But...
1417
01:32:07,240 --> 01:32:10,990
...whatever it is,
it was worth it.
1418
01:32:13,370 --> 01:32:15,120
Let's not tell
your mother that.
1419
01:32:15,280 --> 01:32:16,540
Yeah.
1420
01:32:18,080 --> 01:32:21,250
We can discuss it inside.
Okay.
1421
01:32:32,010 --> 01:32:33,300
So...
1422
01:32:35,470 --> 01:32:38,100
Good luck with Stanford
and everything.
1423
01:32:38,980 --> 01:32:43,900
Yeah. You know,
you too, with everything.
1424
01:32:46,770 --> 01:32:48,730
We should do this again
sometime.
1425
01:32:50,360 --> 01:32:51,610
Sure.
1426
01:32:53,860 --> 01:32:55,570
Yeah, sure.
1427
01:33:10,760 --> 01:33:12,880
You're getting better
at that.
1428
01:33:13,050 --> 01:33:14,550
I was bad before?
1429
01:33:14,720 --> 01:33:16,720
[LAUGHING]
1430
01:33:22,060 --> 01:33:23,390
Thank you...
1431
01:33:26,230 --> 01:33:27,810
...for loving me.
1432
01:33:33,280 --> 01:33:35,160
What's not to love?
1433
01:33:45,670 --> 01:33:47,250
You remember that.
1434
01:33:53,510 --> 01:33:54,760
Hey, Beth.
1435
01:33:56,590 --> 01:33:59,600
See you at the reunion.
Yes.
1436
01:34:00,140 --> 01:34:03,730
If we're both still single,
I'll marry you.
1437
01:34:05,600 --> 01:34:07,190
That's a promise.
1438
01:34:22,120 --> 01:34:23,540
RICH:
My lady.
1439
01:34:28,960 --> 01:34:30,460
DENIS:
Drive safe.
1440
01:34:37,550 --> 01:34:40,050
So guess what?
Hm?
1441
01:34:40,850 --> 01:34:42,390
I think I'm gay.
1442
01:34:42,890 --> 01:34:44,220
Yeah?
1443
01:34:44,390 --> 01:34:46,850
Oh, that's great,
congratulations!
1444
01:34:47,060 --> 01:34:50,520
Dude.
I'm not gay for you.
1445
01:34:50,820 --> 01:34:52,650
Yeah, no, I know.
1446
01:34:53,480 --> 01:34:56,030
You know, I could be bi.
DENIS: Bi?
1447
01:34:56,200 --> 01:34:58,990
RICH: I was with two
gorgeous ladies last night.
1448
01:34:59,160 --> 01:35:01,280
That's a lot more
heterosexual than you.
1449
01:35:01,450 --> 01:35:03,280
DENIS: Well, hey, I
did kiss Beth Cooper.
1450
01:35:03,450 --> 01:35:05,500
RICH: Now you gotta
take it to the next level.
1451
01:35:05,660 --> 01:35:08,250
DENIS: I will. I'm not really
gonna wait for the reunion.
1452
01:35:08,420 --> 01:35:10,960
I'll leave a message on
Facebook, ask her out.
1453
01:35:11,130 --> 01:35:12,920
RICH: No, it has to be
a grand gesture.
1454
01:35:13,090 --> 01:35:15,000
DENIS: Like what?
RICH: You know where she lives.
1455
01:35:15,170 --> 01:35:17,840
Go to her house,
bring a boom box, wait for her.
1456
01:35:18,010 --> 01:35:19,430
DENIS:
That's stalking, Rich.
1457
01:35:19,590 --> 01:35:22,300
RICH: No, it's not stalking
if you love the person.
1458
01:35:22,470 --> 01:35:26,520
Grab her and take her someplace
where it can be just the two of you.
1459
01:35:26,680 --> 01:35:27,980
DENIS:
Now, that's kidnapping.
1460
01:35:28,140 --> 01:35:29,520
RICH:
It's romantic.
1461
01:35:31,060 --> 01:35:34,860
Okay, first we're gonna need
some rope and duct tape.
101242