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1
00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:19,570
ASH:
Do you believe in
the existence of evil?
2
00:00:19,590 --> 00:00:20,840
[panting] Help me!
3
00:00:20,940 --> 00:00:22,540
- Oh.
- No!
4
00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:24,570
- [screeching]
- [screaming]
5
00:00:24,580 --> 00:00:27,450
30 years ago, I found
the Book of the Dead.
6
00:00:27,550 --> 00:00:29,820
Now, because I read from the book...
7
00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:31,390
Missar-drah...
8
00:00:31,490 --> 00:00:33,150
...evil has found me.
9
00:00:33,250 --> 00:00:35,290
- [snarling]
- [screaming]
10
00:00:35,390 --> 00:00:37,220
You have no idea what you're doing!
11
00:00:37,320 --> 00:00:39,190
Of course I know what I'm doing.
12
00:00:39,290 --> 00:00:41,530
[speaking softly] I wrote this book.
13
00:00:41,630 --> 00:00:44,330
- [grunting]
- [woman screaming]
14
00:00:44,390 --> 00:00:46,130
Ruby is in Elk Grove, Michigan.
15
00:00:46,310 --> 00:00:47,640
That's my hometown.
16
00:00:47,740 --> 00:00:49,610
[smashing] Ash?
17
00:00:49,710 --> 00:00:51,210
Hiya Pop.
18
00:00:51,310 --> 00:00:55,220
[panting] I got a problem.
The book... it did something to me.
19
00:00:55,320 --> 00:00:56,620
It changed me. [grunts]
20
00:00:56,720 --> 00:00:57,780
Night night.
21
00:00:58,890 --> 00:00:59,940
- [growling]
- [yelling]
22
00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:01,430
That's our cue!
23
00:01:02,560 --> 00:01:05,480
- [wailing]
- [both yelling]
24
00:01:05,500 --> 00:01:09,400
Evil, if you show your ugly mug
in this town ever again,
25
00:01:09,500 --> 00:01:13,590
I will take you down
and I will wipe you out!
26
00:01:14,470 --> 00:01:17,140
[eerie music playing]
27
00:01:17,240 --> 00:01:19,450
You know me as Ash Williams,
28
00:01:19,510 --> 00:01:22,740
the hero who saved Elk Grove from evil.
29
00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:26,410
For 30 long years, I've used
this saw on monsters and demons.
30
00:01:26,510 --> 00:01:29,810
But those battles are won,
so now I use it to...
31
00:01:29,910 --> 00:01:31,010
[buzzing]
32
00:01:31,110 --> 00:01:33,350
Slash prices!
33
00:01:33,450 --> 00:01:34,780
- [upbeat music playing]
- [glass shattering]
34
00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:37,650
At Ashy Slashy's Hardware
Store Emporium,
35
00:01:37,750 --> 00:01:40,080
we got you covered!
36
00:01:40,950 --> 00:01:42,860
- You want paint?
- [giggling]
37
00:01:42,960 --> 00:01:44,990
We shake it till we break it!
38
00:01:45,090 --> 00:01:46,360
[wobbling sound]
39
00:01:50,060 --> 00:01:53,030
Ladies, you'll love his nuts!
40
00:01:53,070 --> 00:01:54,270
- [audience gasping]
- [clinking]
41
00:01:54,370 --> 00:01:56,450
What's better than a handful of my nuts?
42
00:01:56,510 --> 00:01:58,030
- VOICES OFF-SCREEN: Ahh!
- [laughing]
43
00:01:58,100 --> 00:01:59,170
A long screw.
44
00:01:59,270 --> 00:02:01,070
- [woman moaning]
- Whoa!
45
00:02:01,170 --> 00:02:02,380
We got wood.
46
00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:03,610
- [cash register bell dings]
- We got rope.
47
00:02:03,710 --> 00:02:05,810
We got rubber! We got it all!
48
00:02:06,510 --> 00:02:08,080
- Die high prices!
- [buzzing]
49
00:02:09,480 --> 00:02:10,750
Goodbye high prices!
50
00:02:11,920 --> 00:02:14,390
For that special someone,
we've got everything from
51
00:02:14,490 --> 00:02:16,420
- "D" to "ildo."
- WOMAN'S VOICE: Mmm.
52
00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:19,530
Because at Ashy Slashy's,
service is literally...
53
00:02:19,630 --> 00:02:21,760
- MAN'S VOICE: Not.
- ...our middle name!
54
00:02:21,860 --> 00:02:23,000
Whoo!
55
00:02:24,300 --> 00:02:26,300
[laughing]
56
00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:29,400
Perfection! And only 22 takes!
57
00:02:29,500 --> 00:02:31,200
- MAN ON TV:
Welcome back...
- PABLO: Yeah.
58
00:02:31,300 --> 00:02:32,540
It's looking good, Jefe.
59
00:02:32,640 --> 00:02:34,740
Marketing 101, Pablo.
60
00:02:34,760 --> 00:02:37,230
- Know your audience.
- [indistinct chatter outside]
61
00:02:37,250 --> 00:02:39,090
Look at them lining up out there.
62
00:02:39,190 --> 00:02:40,920
- You're a badass!
- [Ash chuckling]
63
00:02:41,260 --> 00:02:43,500
PABLO: You know I've never
seen a town lose its shit
64
00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:45,600
over a hardware store before.
65
00:02:45,660 --> 00:02:46,660
Well, it's time to wake up and smell
66
00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:49,230
the lightly scented wax flowers, Pablo.
67
00:02:49,290 --> 00:02:52,560
This isn't just a well-stocked
hardware store/sex-toy emporium.
68
00:02:52,660 --> 00:02:55,360
No, this is a shrine to a local hero.
69
00:02:55,460 --> 00:02:57,430
Those adoring fans are my peeps!
70
00:02:58,530 --> 00:02:59,900
- [dramatic music playing]
- [indistinct chatter]
71
00:03:05,410 --> 00:03:07,640
- [chainsaw buzzing]
- All right!
72
00:03:07,740 --> 00:03:10,010
- Hey, hey!
- [cheering]
73
00:03:10,030 --> 00:03:13,430
- Hello, Elk Grove!
- Hey, hey!
74
00:03:13,530 --> 00:03:17,280
Are you ready for some hardware?!
75
00:03:17,500 --> 00:03:19,160
- [loud cheering]
- Come on in!
76
00:03:20,710 --> 00:03:23,340
Fishing supplies, aisle two.
77
00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:27,050
We got guns, we got flags,
we got pornography.
78
00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:29,050
That's a little further in the back.
79
00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:31,620
Men, can't please your wives?
80
00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:33,320
Better check out aisle seven.
81
00:03:33,420 --> 00:03:34,390
WOMAN: Yeah!
82
00:03:34,490 --> 00:03:36,920
- ASH: Same problem?
- No need to push, jeez.
83
00:03:37,020 --> 00:03:38,090
WOMAN 2: Aisle 3 I think.
84
00:03:38,150 --> 00:03:40,360
Hey, no need to push. Leave me alone.
85
00:03:41,430 --> 00:03:44,460
And last up we have Amy,
86
00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:48,270
who I'm told has made
a startling discovery.
87
00:03:48,370 --> 00:03:51,230
I see here, Amy, that
you discovered this item...
88
00:03:51,290 --> 00:03:52,370
In the mud.
89
00:03:52,470 --> 00:03:54,170
- In the mud.
- [eerie growling]
90
00:03:54,270 --> 00:03:55,540
[chuckling]
91
00:03:57,240 --> 00:03:59,350
- [dance music playing]
- [indistinct chatter, laughter]
92
00:04:00,850 --> 00:04:02,480
- Well, I know. I'm sorry...
- [indistinct chatter]
93
00:04:04,450 --> 00:04:06,120
- [clattering]
- [yells]
94
00:04:06,220 --> 00:04:07,350
What I fucking tell you, huh?
95
00:04:07,450 --> 00:04:08,960
How many times I got to tell you?
96
00:04:09,060 --> 00:04:11,890
Pretzels are for paying customers only!
97
00:04:11,990 --> 00:04:13,030
- Okay?
- [grunting]
98
00:04:13,130 --> 00:04:16,560
Next time I'll use your
head as a fucking cue ball.
99
00:04:16,660 --> 00:04:19,330
Who touched the T... who touched the TV?
100
00:04:19,430 --> 00:04:21,370
How many fuckin'...
101
00:04:21,470 --> 00:04:22,900
- [suspenseful music playing]
- [eerie growling]
102
00:04:32,580 --> 00:04:34,310
- [glass shattering]
- [people cheering, laughter]
103
00:04:34,410 --> 00:04:36,520
Hey, hey, it's me.
104
00:04:38,350 --> 00:04:41,990
You were right, evil's coming back.
105
00:04:42,090 --> 00:04:45,390
And here you've found a book
written in ancient Sumerian.
106
00:04:45,490 --> 00:04:47,790
[howling in distance]
107
00:04:47,890 --> 00:04:51,300
- Curious.
- Does "curious" mean valuable?
108
00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:53,000
This appears to be some sort of...
109
00:04:53,100 --> 00:04:55,740
descriptive passage.
110
00:04:55,840 --> 00:04:58,810
Conda anu astratta alaktu...
111
00:04:58,910 --> 00:05:00,270
- [Stanley continues]
- You know with most of these clowns,
112
00:05:00,370 --> 00:05:02,310
I got to play hardball, but for you?
113
00:05:02,410 --> 00:05:04,310
Hose clamps are half-off.
114
00:05:04,410 --> 00:05:05,710
These are the best in the world.
115
00:05:05,810 --> 00:05:08,150
You put them on, they grip tight.
116
00:05:08,250 --> 00:05:11,620
They don't slip, slide, stretch,
or tear like other things.
117
00:05:11,720 --> 00:05:13,420
-
...estaro ces reche.
- [Ash chuckling]
118
00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:16,220
Sarr des kanda...
119
00:05:16,320 --> 00:05:17,960
- [eerie music playing]
- [growling]
120
00:05:18,060 --> 00:05:19,430
Kanda...
121
00:05:19,530 --> 00:05:21,960
[growling grows louder]
122
00:05:22,060 --> 00:05:23,160
kanda?
123
00:05:23,260 --> 00:05:25,200
[snarling]
124
00:05:25,300 --> 00:05:26,870
- [banging]
- [all gasping]
125
00:05:26,970 --> 00:05:28,270
What?
126
00:05:28,330 --> 00:05:30,860
Apparently you've found an ancient text,
127
00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:35,200
known as the Necronomicon-Ex Mortis.
128
00:05:35,300 --> 00:05:37,070
[creaking, splintering]
129
00:05:37,250 --> 00:05:38,480
The Book of the Dead.
130
00:05:38,590 --> 00:05:39,590
Is that... good?
131
00:05:39,690 --> 00:05:43,560
The book, is said to hold spells
132
00:05:43,660 --> 00:05:46,490
- and incantations that,
- [clinking]
133
00:05:46,590 --> 00:05:48,350
if read out loud...
134
00:05:49,730 --> 00:05:52,870
...could connect the demons
of the netherworld,
135
00:05:52,970 --> 00:05:54,270
with our own...
136
00:05:54,370 --> 00:05:56,940
- [shattering]
- [all gasping]
137
00:05:57,040 --> 00:05:58,640
[wind howling]
138
00:06:00,540 --> 00:06:02,840
- [smashing]
- [all screaming]
139
00:06:02,940 --> 00:06:04,040
[screeching]
140
00:06:06,880 --> 00:06:08,720
Most important thing about a hose,
141
00:06:08,820 --> 00:06:10,620
is its width, and its length.
142
00:06:10,740 --> 00:06:12,290
Mostly the length.
143
00:06:12,390 --> 00:06:13,590
[static, test signal sounding]
144
00:06:13,690 --> 00:06:16,120
MAN ON TV:
Our scheduled broadcast
will resume in a moment.
145
00:06:16,220 --> 00:06:18,120
Hey!
146
00:06:18,220 --> 00:06:20,160
I paid for two more spots!
147
00:06:20,260 --> 00:06:22,260
Okay, we got two fish tacos.
148
00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:23,260
- Bam!
- [man chuckling]
149
00:06:23,360 --> 00:06:24,810
We got your hard drive.
150
00:06:24,840 --> 00:06:25,980
- That's me. Thank you.
- Enjoy.
151
00:06:26,030 --> 00:06:27,880
- MAN: Oh yeah.
- Oh! [grunting]
152
00:06:29,840 --> 00:06:31,500
- MAN 2: I don't know...
- [people murmuring]
153
00:06:31,610 --> 00:06:32,870
Excuse me.
154
00:06:33,610 --> 00:06:36,740
Oh! Shit...
155
00:06:36,840 --> 00:06:38,580
- [eerie growling]
- [groaning, panting]
156
00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:45,250
- [whimpering]
- [growling continues]
157
00:06:50,790 --> 00:06:52,230
- [eerie music playing]
- [all gasping, groaning]
158
00:06:54,130 --> 00:06:55,900
[person coughing]
159
00:06:59,100 --> 00:07:00,900
[guts squishing]
160
00:07:02,980 --> 00:07:04,400
Who are you?
161
00:07:04,440 --> 00:07:07,710
Well in Rome, they called me
mulier daemonium de igne.
162
00:07:07,810 --> 00:07:09,600
Demon woman of fire.
163
00:07:09,660 --> 00:07:11,720
And in Greece, they called me
164
00:07:11,770 --> 00:07:15,110
ágria ti mitéra apó tin kólasi.
165
00:07:15,210 --> 00:07:17,220
Fierce mother from hell.
166
00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:21,190
But in these benighted times,
they just call me Ruby.
167
00:07:21,290 --> 00:07:23,490
- [panting]
- I'll take that.
168
00:07:23,590 --> 00:07:25,020
No! No! Wait! It's too important...
169
00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:27,190
- [yells]
- [suspenseful music playing]
170
00:07:27,220 --> 00:07:31,370
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
171
00:07:31,430 --> 00:07:33,370
This is bullshit.
172
00:07:33,470 --> 00:07:35,000
Whatever happened to free speech?
173
00:07:35,100 --> 00:07:37,850
Ah, this was my best giant penis yet.
174
00:07:37,930 --> 00:07:39,390
[snickers] Yeah.
175
00:07:39,430 --> 00:07:41,110
- Thanks for talking me into this.
- [Rachel chuckles]
176
00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:42,390
You missed a spot.
177
00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:44,280
- Dick.
- Less.
178
00:07:44,380 --> 00:07:46,910
[girls giggling, chattering]
179
00:07:47,010 --> 00:07:48,540
Can we just finish and get out?
180
00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:50,150
I'm in enough trouble already.
181
00:07:50,250 --> 00:07:53,090
Wait till they see what
I drew on Perkins' car.
182
00:07:53,190 --> 00:07:56,880
- Is "man-gina" a word?
- [laughing]
183
00:07:57,920 --> 00:08:00,130
Oh, Rachel, please.
184
00:08:00,230 --> 00:08:02,000
I just want to get through
the next four months.
185
00:08:02,100 --> 00:08:04,600
Since when did you become
Miss Bourgeoisie?
186
00:08:04,700 --> 00:08:06,330
Oh, it's simple.
187
00:08:06,430 --> 00:08:08,130
I graduate, I can leave here.
188
00:08:08,230 --> 00:08:12,670
I leave here, I'm not here,
and that's a good thing.
189
00:08:12,770 --> 00:08:14,540
All right, you still haven't
fallen for Elk Grove's
190
00:08:14,700 --> 00:08:16,080
"small town charms?"
191
00:08:16,180 --> 00:08:17,980
Excuse me?
192
00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:20,280
The whole town's excited
because their ex-psycho killer
193
00:08:20,380 --> 00:08:22,620
is opening a hardware store.
194
00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:25,450
- Kill me now.
- [growling]
195
00:08:25,550 --> 00:08:27,050
- Could be worse.
- [growling continues]
196
00:08:27,150 --> 00:08:28,120
How?
197
00:08:28,220 --> 00:08:30,120
- [girls laughing]
- We could be like them.
198
00:08:30,220 --> 00:08:31,120
[wind shrieking]
199
00:08:31,220 --> 00:08:33,730
Oh, yeah. That'll never happen.
200
00:08:33,830 --> 00:08:36,360
Good, because if you did,
201
00:08:36,460 --> 00:08:37,700
I would have to slit my wrists.
202
00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:39,230
- [electricity buzzing]
- [coughs, laughs]
203
00:08:43,500 --> 00:08:45,200
[exhales]
204
00:08:45,300 --> 00:08:48,570
Oh, look. Cougie's back.
205
00:08:48,670 --> 00:08:51,440
[eerie music playing]
206
00:08:51,540 --> 00:08:53,540
Yeah, well, fuck off, Cougie!
207
00:08:58,750 --> 00:09:01,250
Okay, we get it.
208
00:09:01,350 --> 00:09:04,800
Costume, mascot, very funny.
209
00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:09,810
You can leave now!
210
00:09:12,500 --> 00:09:14,130
Hey, asshole!
211
00:09:14,230 --> 00:09:15,970
- Go away...
- [electricity buzzing]
212
00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:18,200
Shit.
213
00:09:20,310 --> 00:09:21,410
Shit.
214
00:09:24,310 --> 00:09:26,820
Okay, guy, now I'm mad.
215
00:09:34,950 --> 00:09:35,860
[growling, snarling]
216
00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:39,060
Jesus, what is that?
217
00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:41,160
[growling]
218
00:09:41,260 --> 00:09:43,620
Probably just some varsity assholes
219
00:09:43,680 --> 00:09:45,210
playing some bullshit prank!
220
00:09:45,230 --> 00:09:47,170
- [growling]
- [both gasping]
221
00:09:47,270 --> 00:09:49,700
[growling]
222
00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:51,910
Brandy, don't!
223
00:09:52,010 --> 00:09:54,240
What is your problem, fuckboy?
224
00:09:56,280 --> 00:09:59,050
[snarling]
225
00:09:59,150 --> 00:10:00,810
- [blood dripping]
- [gasping]
226
00:10:05,990 --> 00:10:07,520
[snarling continues]
227
00:10:12,390 --> 00:10:14,190
[eerie voices chanting]
228
00:10:16,460 --> 00:10:18,630
[lockers banging]
229
00:10:18,730 --> 00:10:20,530
[gasping]
230
00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:29,510
[both panting]
231
00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:39,220
- [growling]
- [screaming]
232
00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:45,460
[both gasping]
233
00:10:48,530 --> 00:10:50,260
[suspenseful music playing]
234
00:10:51,970 --> 00:10:53,930
[both screaming]
235
00:10:55,940 --> 00:10:57,500
Help!
236
00:10:58,500 --> 00:11:01,570
Help! Help please!
237
00:11:01,670 --> 00:11:03,310
- [snarling]
- [screaming]
238
00:11:03,410 --> 00:11:05,640
- [laughing maniacally]
- [laughter, chattering]
239
00:11:05,740 --> 00:11:07,580
And that's the whole story.
240
00:11:07,680 --> 00:11:09,650
- Hey, feller. How are you?
- Hey.
241
00:11:09,750 --> 00:11:11,580
Ladies. Come on.
242
00:11:11,680 --> 00:11:12,970
- [eerie music playing]
- ASH: A litlle somethin', somethin'.
243
00:11:13,060 --> 00:11:14,370
There we go.
244
00:11:15,690 --> 00:11:17,190
- [lively accordion music]
- Nickel for a tickle, huh?
245
00:11:17,290 --> 00:11:19,260
- [girl laughs]
- What do you say?
246
00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:20,990
[indistinct chatter, laughter]
247
00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:25,900
I don't believe this, it's really him.
248
00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:27,900
[phone ringing]
249
00:11:28,100 --> 00:11:29,920
- Oh, hey. Hey, honey.
- BRANDY:
Mom! Mom!
250
00:11:29,970 --> 00:11:31,270
There's this guy at the school,
you've got to come
251
00:11:31,330 --> 00:11:32,430
-
help us, please!
- What?
252
00:11:32,460 --> 00:11:33,810
- Hey, Pablo.
- Yeah.
253
00:11:33,910 --> 00:11:36,430
Ah, I got to talk to you about
something else.
254
00:11:36,510 --> 00:11:37,940
If this is about a raise...
255
00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:40,300
Actually, you don't pay me
at all right now, but...
256
00:11:40,360 --> 00:11:41,880
Son of a bitch!
257
00:11:41,980 --> 00:11:43,420
Hey, whoa!
258
00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:45,450
Lady! There's a line!
259
00:11:45,550 --> 00:11:48,450
Wha...? You don't even remember me?
260
00:11:48,550 --> 00:11:50,490
Well, the old steel trap
never forgets a rack,
261
00:11:50,590 --> 00:11:53,630
but faces are a little fuzzy.
262
00:11:53,730 --> 00:11:55,490
Give me a hint.
263
00:11:55,590 --> 00:11:57,900
- [grunts]
- [women screaming]
264
00:11:58,000 --> 00:11:59,600
I said a hint.
265
00:11:59,700 --> 00:12:02,010
- I'm your fucking wife!
- [inaudible]
266
00:12:02,990 --> 00:12:04,320
My what?
267
00:12:04,420 --> 00:12:05,820
We need to talk.
268
00:12:07,420 --> 00:12:09,430
[Ash grunts]
269
00:12:10,990 --> 00:12:12,760
Lady, I don't know what
kind of coo-coo juice
270
00:12:12,860 --> 00:12:15,140
you've been drinkin',
but if you're fishing for alimony...
271
00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:17,480
One of your goddamn monsters
just attacked
272
00:12:17,540 --> 00:12:19,100
our daughter at Kenward County High.
273
00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:20,440
Daughter?! Ha!
274
00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:22,610
You definitely got the wrong guy!
275
00:12:22,710 --> 00:12:24,340
Demons made you chop off your hand.
276
00:12:24,440 --> 00:12:25,960
- "I'll swallow your soul."
- [scoffs]
277
00:12:26,040 --> 00:12:28,750
Good sex is 30 seconds
followed by a cheeseburger?
278
00:12:30,900 --> 00:12:33,650
- Okay, maybe we have met.
- [sighs]
279
00:12:33,750 --> 00:12:34,780
But in case you didn't get the memo,
280
00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:37,650
me and my compadres,
we buried evil big time.
281
00:12:37,750 --> 00:12:40,260
Elk Grove is officially
a demon-free zone.
282
00:12:40,270 --> 00:12:41,970
- Jefe.
- Yeah.
283
00:12:42,070 --> 00:12:43,500
I think she's telling the truth.
284
00:12:46,240 --> 00:12:47,840
- [eerie music playing]
- [growling]
285
00:12:50,680 --> 00:12:53,350
Dude, I told you to get that
shit lasered off.
286
00:12:53,450 --> 00:12:55,350
Nah, I didn't do this!
287
00:12:55,450 --> 00:12:56,720
It just happened outside.
288
00:12:56,820 --> 00:12:58,220
I'm scared!
289
00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:00,420
This thing is after
my little girl and...
290
00:13:00,520 --> 00:13:02,620
All right all ready! I'll check it out!
291
00:13:02,720 --> 00:13:03,890
- [suspenseful music playing]
- [tires screeching]
292
00:13:06,190 --> 00:13:07,390
[lightning crashing]
293
00:13:16,300 --> 00:13:17,540
[chuckles]
294
00:13:17,640 --> 00:13:19,510
Just like old times, eh, Pablo?
295
00:13:19,610 --> 00:13:21,810
Except for the wife part, and no Kelly.
296
00:13:21,910 --> 00:13:23,580
Actually, it's not like
old times at all.
297
00:13:23,680 --> 00:13:26,450
- Just drive!
- Hey, easy for you sister.
298
00:13:26,550 --> 00:13:28,180
You come waltzing into my life,
299
00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:30,080
yapping about demons and daughters,
300
00:13:30,090 --> 00:13:31,990
and I don't know boo about you.
301
00:13:32,090 --> 00:13:34,660
- Candace Barr.
- Yeah, and?
302
00:13:36,630 --> 00:13:38,100
Branson?
303
00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:39,570
Branson.
304
00:13:40,140 --> 00:13:43,040
- [woman and man yelling]
- Oh...
305
00:13:43,140 --> 00:13:45,480
♪ I want candy ♪
306
00:13:45,580 --> 00:13:47,840
- [Ash grunting]
- [laughter]
307
00:13:47,940 --> 00:13:50,010
♪ I want candy ♪
308
00:13:50,060 --> 00:13:50,980
Oh.
309
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:52,820
- Give me some!
- ♪ Yeah...! ♪
310
00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:54,780
Ah! My God!
311
00:13:54,880 --> 00:13:58,150
Oh God! She's so good! Oh.
312
00:13:58,260 --> 00:13:59,320
- [yelling indistinctly]
- [both whooping]
313
00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:03,760
[both moaning loudly]
314
00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:10,680
Wait a minute, Candace Barr.
315
00:14:10,970 --> 00:14:12,270
[sighs]
316
00:14:12,300 --> 00:14:14,520
[laughing] Oh no, Candy Barr?
317
00:14:14,540 --> 00:14:15,880
[laughter]
318
00:14:18,100 --> 00:14:19,200
Well, this daughter of ours,
319
00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:21,310
I'll bet she thinks
I'm pretty special, huh?
320
00:14:21,410 --> 00:14:22,580
Dream on.
321
00:14:22,680 --> 00:14:24,570
I told her her old man
was some crack dealer
322
00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:26,410
- who got shanked in prison.
- What?!
323
00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:27,910
Well, it was easier than admitting
324
00:14:28,010 --> 00:14:30,940
I'd hooked up with some psycho saw-boy!
325
00:14:31,040 --> 00:14:34,380
Oh, okay, but I call
B.S. on the daughter.
326
00:14:34,480 --> 00:14:36,510
I was using my lucky rubber
all through the odds,
327
00:14:36,610 --> 00:14:39,050
and that sucker went 50 and 0.
328
00:14:39,150 --> 00:14:40,920
Oh, oh, oh.
329
00:14:41,020 --> 00:14:43,320
♪ I want candy, hey! ♪
330
00:14:43,420 --> 00:14:44,800
Just drive!
331
00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:49,220
[eerie music playing]
332
00:14:53,460 --> 00:14:55,270
[ethereal growling]
333
00:15:03,910 --> 00:15:05,810
- [gasping]
- [indistinct whispering]
334
00:15:14,020 --> 00:15:16,020
[wind whistling]
335
00:15:30,570 --> 00:15:32,340
[gasping, shuddering]
336
00:15:33,870 --> 00:15:35,410
[squishing]
337
00:15:38,710 --> 00:15:40,280
- [chanting in ancient language]
- [growling grows louder]
338
00:15:43,510 --> 00:15:46,820
Candalier boncelo....
339
00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:49,390
[chanting continues]
340
00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:51,120
- [eerie vocalizing]
- [chanting continues]
341
00:15:57,830 --> 00:15:59,260
[grunting]
342
00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:04,690
Kanda.
343
00:16:04,790 --> 00:16:05,950
Abomino.
344
00:16:11,030 --> 00:16:12,560
[gulping, gagging]
345
00:16:22,470 --> 00:16:24,270
[gasping]
346
00:16:29,210 --> 00:16:30,540
[wailing]
347
00:16:33,510 --> 00:16:36,220
- [vocalizing grows louder]
- [rumbling]
348
00:16:41,690 --> 00:16:42,960
[doors open]
349
00:16:46,630 --> 00:16:48,300
- God, that smell.
- [phone dialing]
350
00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:50,860
This monkey farm hasn't
changed in 30 years.
351
00:16:50,980 --> 00:16:52,700
WOMAN'S VOICE:
The caller you are
trying to reach is unavailable.
352
00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:54,140
She's not answering.
353
00:16:54,870 --> 00:16:56,300
You actually went to school?
354
00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:59,010
Yeah, these halls have
some sweet memories.
355
00:16:59,110 --> 00:17:00,310
Met my first Linda here.
356
00:17:03,710 --> 00:17:06,750
Hey, give me a second.
357
00:17:06,850 --> 00:17:08,520
What are you doing? [sighing]
358
00:17:09,980 --> 00:17:11,890
I'm sorry, I don't even know you,
359
00:17:11,990 --> 00:17:13,920
but did I make a mistake
coming to Ash for help?
360
00:17:18,190 --> 00:17:19,460
Ever since I hooked up with El Jefe,
361
00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:22,360
I've seen a lot of weird shit go down.
362
00:17:22,420 --> 00:17:24,280
But he's always had my back.
363
00:17:24,570 --> 00:17:26,800
Well, almost always.
364
00:17:26,900 --> 00:17:28,570
There was this one time
I got cut in half.
365
00:17:28,670 --> 00:17:29,800
[whispers] What?
366
00:17:29,900 --> 00:17:32,270
Yeah, but Ash went back
in time to save me.
367
00:17:32,370 --> 00:17:35,110
It was so cool, but also really weird,
368
00:17:35,210 --> 00:17:37,880
because when we got back,
nothing seemed to have changed.
369
00:17:37,980 --> 00:17:40,780
[laughing] Maui Wowie.
370
00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:43,150
It's my emergency stash.
371
00:17:43,250 --> 00:17:45,550
I'll just put this bad boy away
for the appropriate time.
372
00:17:45,650 --> 00:17:46,990
Brandy?
373
00:17:48,060 --> 00:17:49,560
- [eerie groaning]
- [gasping]
374
00:17:52,130 --> 00:17:53,630
[lightning crashing]
375
00:17:58,070 --> 00:18:00,070
[thunder rumbling]
376
00:18:04,740 --> 00:18:06,470
[indistinct whispering]
377
00:18:08,380 --> 00:18:10,080
[suspenseful music playing]
378
00:18:15,150 --> 00:18:16,620
[floorboards creaking]
379
00:18:23,220 --> 00:18:24,690
- [both panting]
- [footsteps thudding]
380
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:31,100
- [Rachel whimpers]
- Shh, shh!
381
00:18:32,700 --> 00:18:34,470
[footsteps thudding]
382
00:18:37,340 --> 00:18:40,010
[creaking]
383
00:18:40,110 --> 00:18:42,290
Whoever's out there, fuck off!
384
00:18:45,410 --> 00:18:46,410
Brandy?
385
00:18:48,450 --> 00:18:51,550
- Wow.
- She's not yours, dumb-ass!
386
00:18:51,650 --> 00:18:53,120
[gasping] Mom!
387
00:18:53,220 --> 00:18:55,260
Honey! Thank God!
388
00:18:55,350 --> 00:18:56,500
- Back off, Mama Bear!
- Hey!
389
00:18:56,560 --> 00:18:57,790
What are you doing?
390
00:18:57,890 --> 00:18:59,530
The ink on my buddy went nuclear,
391
00:18:59,630 --> 00:19:02,360
that means evil is just
around the corner.
392
00:19:02,460 --> 00:19:06,100
So your little peach could
be a bowel-sucking hell beast.
393
00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:08,340
Mom, what's the chainsaw
geek doing here?
394
00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:10,840
Oh, honey, uh, I don't know
how to tell you this,
395
00:19:10,940 --> 00:19:13,340
but Ash, he's-he's ah-he's your...
396
00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:15,490
What she's trying to say is...
397
00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:17,300
I'm your pop.
398
00:19:17,750 --> 00:19:18,980
Father dearest.
399
00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:21,050
The old sperm shooter.
400
00:19:21,150 --> 00:19:22,780
- What?
- But you can call me Dad,
401
00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:25,190
unless you're a Deadite,
then you can go fuck yourself.
402
00:19:25,290 --> 00:19:26,590
- So come on now, demon-spawn!
- [both gasping]
403
00:19:26,690 --> 00:19:28,060
Show Daddy what you got!
404
00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:30,560
- [electricity buzzing]
- [gasping]
405
00:19:30,660 --> 00:19:33,130
Okay, nobody move.
406
00:19:33,230 --> 00:19:34,730
[heavy breathing]
407
00:19:40,810 --> 00:19:43,780
Alleged Daughter,
who else is in the room?
408
00:19:44,910 --> 00:19:46,870
Um, you...
409
00:19:46,970 --> 00:19:48,140
the guy with the hair...
410
00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:49,480
- ...my mom, and...
- [piano playing]
411
00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:55,550
[light switches clicking]
412
00:19:58,090 --> 00:19:59,750
Rachel?
413
00:19:59,850 --> 00:20:01,360
[piano playing continues]
414
00:20:07,460 --> 00:20:10,030
[in distorted voice] ♪ Ashy Slashy ♪
415
00:20:10,130 --> 00:20:12,370
♪ Was a real stinker ♪
416
00:20:12,470 --> 00:20:16,240
♪ Took an axe to his sister's thinker ♪
417
00:20:17,140 --> 00:20:18,440
Hey, Brandy's friend.
418
00:20:20,310 --> 00:20:22,180
You want to keep it down?
419
00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:24,040
- [panting]
- [blood splattering]
420
00:20:24,150 --> 00:20:28,020
Oh! Oh my God! Rachel?
What have you done?
421
00:20:28,120 --> 00:20:29,580
- [growling loudly]
- [piano playing continues]
422
00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:36,290
- [gasping]
- [drums playing]
423
00:20:40,930 --> 00:20:42,430
- [roaring]
- [screaming]
424
00:20:44,030 --> 00:20:45,030
[drums continue beating]
425
00:20:45,130 --> 00:20:46,430
What are you doing?!
426
00:20:48,100 --> 00:20:49,540
- [playing out of tune]
- [snarling]
427
00:20:51,740 --> 00:20:53,470
- [yells]
- [gunshot]
428
00:20:57,010 --> 00:20:58,480
- [clattering]
- [both gasping]
429
00:21:01,180 --> 00:21:02,720
[shotgun reloading]
430
00:21:04,190 --> 00:21:05,650
[ethereal growling]
431
00:21:05,750 --> 00:21:07,090
Rachel!
432
00:21:07,860 --> 00:21:09,390
[horn sounding loudly]
433
00:21:12,090 --> 00:21:13,590
- [smashing]
- [all yelling]
434
00:21:17,270 --> 00:21:18,730
[instruments playing chaotically]
435
00:21:20,770 --> 00:21:23,670
[trumpeting]
436
00:21:23,770 --> 00:21:25,810
- [chords sounding]
- Ah!
437
00:21:25,910 --> 00:21:27,710
[panting]
438
00:21:30,180 --> 00:21:31,850
[panting]
439
00:21:31,950 --> 00:21:34,450
- [clanging]
- [grunting]
440
00:21:34,550 --> 00:21:36,180
- [laughing, grunting]
- [clattering]
441
00:21:38,650 --> 00:21:39,790
Ah!
442
00:21:41,260 --> 00:21:43,290
- [chords sounding]
- [grunts]
443
00:21:43,390 --> 00:21:45,290
- [both panting]
- [grunting]
444
00:21:48,430 --> 00:21:50,900
- [chords sounding out of tune]
- [grunts]
445
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:53,000
- [grunting]
- [clattering]
446
00:21:53,100 --> 00:21:55,800
[trumpeting]
447
00:21:55,900 --> 00:21:57,910
- Blow.
- [clattering]
448
00:21:58,870 --> 00:22:00,870
[both panting]
449
00:22:00,970 --> 00:22:02,480
- [crashing]
- [grunts]
450
00:22:04,080 --> 00:22:05,410
No!
451
00:22:07,180 --> 00:22:09,580
I love you, Brandy.
452
00:22:09,680 --> 00:22:11,320
- Oh!
- Ugh!
453
00:22:11,420 --> 00:22:13,290
- [blood splattering]
- [grunting]
454
00:22:14,690 --> 00:22:16,260
[both gasping]
455
00:22:16,360 --> 00:22:18,290
- [clattering]
- [gasping]
456
00:22:26,870 --> 00:22:28,440
[Brandy sobs]
457
00:22:31,610 --> 00:22:32,570
Candy.
458
00:22:35,540 --> 00:22:37,450
- [clattering]
- [Pablo groaning]
459
00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:43,750
[gasping]
460
00:22:43,850 --> 00:22:46,650
Mom!
461
00:22:49,290 --> 00:22:50,760
- [Brandy sobbing]
- [harp playing]
462
00:23:06,740 --> 00:23:08,140
Why you...
463
00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:10,040
- [Ash grunts]
- [Brandy screaming]
464
00:23:10,140 --> 00:23:11,750
No!
465
00:23:11,850 --> 00:23:13,910
[both grunting]
466
00:23:14,010 --> 00:23:18,020
Ashy Slashy, soon there'll
be nothing left of you...
467
00:23:18,120 --> 00:23:22,490
...we'll destroy your seed
and your whore daughter too.
468
00:23:22,590 --> 00:23:25,930
Sorry jailbait, my dance card
is a little full.
469
00:23:26,030 --> 00:23:27,260
I'll have to squeeze you in.
470
00:23:27,360 --> 00:23:28,800
[in normal voice] Brandy!
471
00:23:28,900 --> 00:23:31,370
- [grunts]
- [slicing]
472
00:23:31,470 --> 00:23:32,930
- [sobbing]
- [ethereal growling]
473
00:23:36,670 --> 00:23:38,370
- [heavy breathing]
- [squishing]
474
00:23:42,180 --> 00:23:45,050
- [gasping]
- Oh!
475
00:23:45,150 --> 00:23:47,920
Suck on that, Harpo.
476
00:23:48,020 --> 00:23:49,550
[blood dripping]
477
00:23:53,520 --> 00:23:54,620
- [gasping]
- [sighs]
478
00:23:57,990 --> 00:24:01,900
What... what?
479
00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:03,660
[speaking softly] I know.
480
00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:06,300
It sucks.
481
00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:08,140
I remember my first taste of evil.
482
00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:09,700
- [glass shattering, growling]
- [gasps]
483
00:24:11,140 --> 00:24:12,870
[grunts]
484
00:24:12,970 --> 00:24:14,480
- [suspenseful music playing]
- [growling]
485
00:24:15,410 --> 00:24:16,840
Oh, Cougie!
486
00:24:16,940 --> 00:24:18,580
They got you too!
487
00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:20,410
- [buzzing]
- [gasping]
488
00:24:22,450 --> 00:24:23,950
- [Cougie growling]
- [Ash grunting]
489
00:24:26,590 --> 00:24:28,490
- [chainsaw sputtering]
- [screeching]
490
00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:30,720
- Ash!
- [Ash yelling]
491
00:24:33,460 --> 00:24:35,300
- [groaning, wailing]
- [bones cracking]
492
00:24:36,430 --> 00:24:38,400
- [grunting]
- [growling]
493
00:24:40,330 --> 00:24:42,300
[screaming, groaning]
494
00:24:45,370 --> 00:24:47,210
- [growling]
- Ah! Whoa!
495
00:24:47,310 --> 00:24:49,910
- [Ash yelling]
- [groaning]
496
00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:53,410
- [roaring]
- [grunting]
497
00:24:59,890 --> 00:25:01,590
- [canister hissing]
- [grunting]
498
00:25:05,490 --> 00:25:06,990
GIRL'S VOICE: Howdy fuckin' ho, boys.
499
00:25:07,090 --> 00:25:08,400
Miss me?
500
00:25:10,330 --> 00:25:11,870
- [chuckling]
- [gunfire]
501
00:25:14,500 --> 00:25:15,500
- [splattering]
- [screaming]
502
00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:16,740
[grunts]
503
00:25:18,910 --> 00:25:20,440
[heavy breathing]
504
00:25:22,790 --> 00:25:25,330
Well, looky who's back,
505
00:25:26,690 --> 00:25:29,070
and seriously rocking the leather.
506
00:25:31,550 --> 00:25:32,790
Who's the boy toy?
507
00:25:32,890 --> 00:25:34,460
Kelly was right.
508
00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:36,660
You are the prophesied one.
509
00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:38,260
KELLY: This is Dalton.
510
00:25:38,360 --> 00:25:40,500
He's with the Knights of Sumeria.
511
00:25:40,620 --> 00:25:41,700
The who with the huh?
512
00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:43,030
It's an honor to meet you.
513
00:25:43,130 --> 00:25:45,150
I've been waiting for the chance
to battle this ancient evil
514
00:25:45,180 --> 00:25:46,230
my entire life.
515
00:25:46,330 --> 00:25:49,840
Yeah, he's kind of a fan.
516
00:25:50,180 --> 00:25:51,530
Who's the kid?
517
00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:55,910
Oh, believe it or not,
that's my daughter.
518
00:25:56,010 --> 00:25:57,950
[chuckling] Sandy.
519
00:25:58,050 --> 00:25:59,610
Ah, Mandy.
520
00:25:59,710 --> 00:26:00,810
Brandy.
521
00:26:01,680 --> 00:26:03,350
[sobbing] And fuck you.
522
00:26:03,450 --> 00:26:05,290
We're still getting to know each other.
523
00:26:05,390 --> 00:26:08,290
Okay, team, it looks like evil's back,
524
00:26:08,390 --> 00:26:10,720
and Elk Grove is ground zero.
525
00:26:10,820 --> 00:26:12,230
Kelly, Pablo.
526
00:26:12,330 --> 00:26:14,090
Other guy, you up for this?
527
00:26:14,190 --> 00:26:15,500
One for all, and all for one.
528
00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:17,500
Uh, cute, but no.
529
00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:18,630
Pablo?
530
00:26:18,730 --> 00:26:21,130
Say it like you mean it.
531
00:26:21,180 --> 00:26:22,550
Ghost Beaters are back!
532
00:26:22,650 --> 00:26:25,060
Fucking A, right we are!
533
00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:26,420
And evil...
534
00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:29,540
oh, we're coming for you.
535
00:26:31,230 --> 00:26:33,740
I think now is the appropriate
time Pablo.
536
00:26:39,770 --> 00:26:41,340
[deep inhale]
537
00:26:43,670 --> 00:26:44,570
[in strained voice] Sandy?
538
00:26:44,680 --> 00:26:48,210
♪ Daddy, Daddy Cool ♪
539
00:26:48,310 --> 00:26:52,220
♪ Daddy, Daddy Cool ♪
540
00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:56,350
♪ Daddy, Daddy Cool ♪
541
00:26:56,450 --> 00:26:58,760
♪ Daddy, Daddy Cool ♪
542
00:27:02,690 --> 00:27:04,060
[disco music playing]
543
00:27:15,810 --> 00:27:19,540
♪ She's crazy like a fool ♪
544
00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:23,310
♪ What about it Daddy Cool ♪
545
00:27:23,410 --> 00:27:27,550
♪ I'm crazy like a fool ♪
546
00:27:27,650 --> 00:27:30,750
♪ What about it Daddy Cool ♪
547
00:27:30,850 --> 00:27:34,730
♪ Daddy, Daddy Cool ♪
548
00:27:34,830 --> 00:27:37,090
♪ Daddy, Daddy Cool ♪
549
00:27:37,120 --> 00:27:42,120
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
37539
