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1
00:00:04,047 --> 00:00:06,397
I can't wait to see
your new renovations.
2
00:00:06,441 --> 00:00:08,747
I have not been
this excited for a reveal
3
00:00:08,791 --> 00:00:11,663
since L.A. announced
their new composting program.Oh, yeah.
4
00:00:13,274 --> 00:00:14,710
You'reexcited?
5
00:00:14,753 --> 00:00:17,234
We've been living
with our parents for 140 days.
6
00:00:17,278 --> 00:00:19,671
Uh, I had 175.
7
00:00:19,715 --> 00:00:21,630
At least that's
what it felt like.
8
00:00:21,673 --> 00:00:23,240
You?
9
00:00:23,284 --> 00:00:25,677
I was about ready to Shawshank
my way out of there.
10
00:00:26,852 --> 00:00:28,376
Well, so hold on,
11
00:00:28,419 --> 00:00:30,813
Calvin, did you really
let Tina handle everything?
12
00:00:30,856 --> 00:00:32,945
Yes.Look.
13
00:00:32,989 --> 00:00:35,470
All I wanted to know was
how much is it gonna cost,
14
00:00:35,513 --> 00:00:37,689
and when is it
gonna be done?
15
00:00:37,733 --> 00:00:39,474
Well, it's all done now.
16
00:00:39,517 --> 00:00:41,476
And the earthquake insurance
paid for most of it.
17
00:00:41,519 --> 00:00:42,738
Most of it?
18
00:00:42,781 --> 00:00:44,131
How much did we...?
19
00:00:44,174 --> 00:00:45,915
Welcome, everybody, welcome!Yay!
20
00:00:47,264 --> 00:00:48,874
Welcome!
21
00:00:48,918 --> 00:00:51,051
Oh, my God!
22
00:00:51,094 --> 00:00:52,791
This is like the best episode
23
00:00:52,835 --> 00:00:54,924
of Fixer Upperever.
24
00:00:56,143 --> 00:00:58,145
Wow.
25
00:00:58,188 --> 00:00:59,972
Well, I sure hate our house now.
26
00:01:00,016 --> 00:01:01,626
Right?
27
00:01:01,670 --> 00:01:03,237
This is amazing.
28
00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:05,195
I wish it was this ritzy
when we were kids.
29
00:01:05,239 --> 00:01:07,415
Hey, it's not ritzy-- hey!Oh...
30
00:01:07,458 --> 00:01:09,852
D-Don't touch anything.
31
00:01:09,895 --> 00:01:12,898
It's a good thing it wasn't
this nice when we were young,
32
00:01:12,942 --> 00:01:14,378
'cause we would've
destroyed it.
33
00:01:14,422 --> 00:01:16,163
Oh, yeah, definitely, yeah,
we would've broken that.
34
00:01:16,206 --> 00:01:17,947
Yep.We would've broken that.
35
00:01:17,990 --> 00:01:20,036
We definitely
would've broken all that.
36
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,125
And, look, Gemma![gasps]
37
00:01:22,169 --> 00:01:23,561
A wine fridge.
38
00:01:23,605 --> 00:01:25,650
No more
lukewarm chardonnay.
Oh!
39
00:01:25,694 --> 00:01:27,304
[chuckles]
40
00:01:27,348 --> 00:01:31,091
So, Calvin, what do you
think about the new digs?
41
00:01:31,134 --> 00:01:34,311
Well, it's a lot of
big changes, but, um,
42
00:01:34,355 --> 00:01:36,400
I like what I've done
with the place.
43
00:01:36,444 --> 00:01:37,836
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
44
00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:41,275
You? You fought every single
change the whole way.
45
00:01:41,318 --> 00:01:44,104
Oh, Tina, Tina.
46
00:01:44,147 --> 00:01:46,149
How about we leave
the old attitude
47
00:01:46,193 --> 00:01:47,803
at the old house?
48
00:01:47,846 --> 00:01:49,544
It just doesn't go
with the decor.
49
00:01:51,241 --> 00:01:53,156
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
50
00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:54,462
♪ Welcome to the hood.
51
00:02:00,163 --> 00:02:02,470
And this island is so big,
52
00:02:02,513 --> 00:02:04,559
it's almost
like an actual island.
53
00:02:04,602 --> 00:02:06,996
Nice.
54
00:02:07,039 --> 00:02:09,085
Now, when I tell the ladies
I've been to the islands,
55
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:11,131
I won't be lying.
56
00:02:13,742 --> 00:02:14,960
Excuse me.
57
00:02:16,397 --> 00:02:18,225
Calvin!
58
00:02:18,268 --> 00:02:20,879
Wake up. What are you doing?
We have guests, baby.
59
00:02:20,923 --> 00:02:22,794
Well, don't blame me, babe.
60
00:02:22,838 --> 00:02:25,884
I mean, you're the one
that reupholstered my old chair.
61
00:02:25,928 --> 00:02:27,756
Hmm.
And she's so pretty,
62
00:02:27,799 --> 00:02:29,540
I might have to give her a name.
63
00:02:29,584 --> 00:02:32,413
Well, I'm glad
you like it,
64
00:02:32,456 --> 00:02:33,849
but if you name it,
65
00:02:33,892 --> 00:02:35,416
both of y'all gonna be
in the backyard.
66
00:02:36,591 --> 00:02:38,506
Just saying.
67
00:02:38,549 --> 00:02:40,769
Ooh, check out Mom's
new fancy refrigerator.
68
00:02:40,812 --> 00:02:42,771
It makes five different
types of ice.
69
00:02:42,814 --> 00:02:44,033
Ice is ice, Marty.
70
00:02:44,076 --> 00:02:45,295
How many different types
do you need?
71
00:02:45,339 --> 00:02:47,123
Oh, you simple man.
72
00:02:48,907 --> 00:02:51,301
This makes crushed,
cubed, shaved, pebbled,
73
00:02:51,345 --> 00:02:53,999
and a big-ass square block
for your Scotch.
74
00:02:54,043 --> 00:02:56,263
Check this out.
75
00:02:56,306 --> 00:02:58,134
Aha.
76
00:02:58,178 --> 00:02:59,831
This is why people
hate the rich.
77
00:02:59,875 --> 00:03:01,398
Thank you.
78
00:03:01,442 --> 00:03:03,270
[stammers]
79
00:03:03,313 --> 00:03:05,489
Ooh, Tina!
80
00:03:05,533 --> 00:03:06,447
Calvin.
81
00:03:07,839 --> 00:03:10,190
Your home is just gorgeous!
82
00:03:10,233 --> 00:03:12,540
Oh, well, thank you,
Miss Kim.
83
00:03:12,583 --> 00:03:14,803
I'm so glad you chose to stay
84
00:03:14,846 --> 00:03:17,893
and remodel, instead of moving
out of the neighborhood.
85
00:03:17,936 --> 00:03:21,592
It's about time this
block started to change.
86
00:03:21,636 --> 00:03:25,074
Yeah, well, n-no, I'm not
trying to change anything.
87
00:03:26,989 --> 00:03:28,599
You've changed everything.
88
00:03:30,514 --> 00:03:32,995
I just hope you haven't
changed your bedroom curtains.
89
00:03:33,038 --> 00:03:35,650
I like seeing your
silhouettes at night.
90
00:03:37,173 --> 00:03:39,131
Tina, are you hearing
all this?
91
00:03:39,175 --> 00:03:41,308
Yeah, got it--
blackout curtains.
92
00:03:41,351 --> 00:03:42,526
Uh, Miss Kim?
93
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:44,398
Would you like
to see our bedroom
94
00:03:44,441 --> 00:03:46,051
from the inside
for a change?
95
00:03:46,095 --> 00:03:47,183
Oh, goodie.
96
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:49,403
Okay, right this way.
97
00:03:49,446 --> 00:03:51,448
Well, well, well.
98
00:03:51,492 --> 00:03:53,276
Check you out.
99
00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:54,669
New kitchen,
100
00:03:54,712 --> 00:03:56,714
new living room, new furniture.
101
00:03:56,758 --> 00:03:59,108
I don't even know how to act
in this house anymore.
102
00:03:59,151 --> 00:04:01,676
Me neither. He even
bougied out his chair.
103
00:04:01,719 --> 00:04:03,634
Well, you know,
I upgraded her
104
00:04:03,678 --> 00:04:05,288
a little bit, man.
105
00:04:05,332 --> 00:04:06,942
And she hugs my body
106
00:04:06,985 --> 00:04:08,944
like I just came home
from the war.
107
00:04:08,987 --> 00:04:10,728
[laughter]
108
00:04:10,772 --> 00:04:12,991
I'm thinking
about giving her a name.
109
00:04:13,035 --> 00:04:15,298
Renata.Renata.
110
00:04:15,342 --> 00:04:17,605
But don't tell Tina,
don't tell Tina.Oh, no, no, uh-uh.
111
00:04:17,648 --> 00:04:18,910
Hey, come on,
let me get y'all a beer, man.
112
00:04:18,954 --> 00:04:20,434
All right, all right.
113
00:04:20,477 --> 00:04:22,479
Uh-oh, look at that,
green apples. Okay.
114
00:04:22,523 --> 00:04:23,872
[laughter]
115
00:04:23,915 --> 00:04:25,787
[chuckling]
116
00:04:25,830 --> 00:04:28,311
Thank you, sir.
Now hold on.
117
00:04:28,355 --> 00:04:31,358
Let me elevate
the experience for you.
118
00:04:31,401 --> 00:04:33,316
Because beer...
119
00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:34,839
tastes better...
120
00:04:34,883 --> 00:04:36,885
in frosted mugs.
121
00:04:36,928 --> 00:04:38,887
[chuckles]
122
00:04:38,930 --> 00:04:40,541
A fridge just for
chilling beer mugs?
123
00:04:40,584 --> 00:04:42,282
Fancy.
Mm.
124
00:04:42,325 --> 00:04:44,240
Dang.
125
00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:46,590
Ole Calvin used to be
one of us.
Mm-hmm.
126
00:04:46,634 --> 00:04:48,549
Now he done gone Hollywood.
127
00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:52,030
Can we even use slang
in this house anymore?
128
00:04:52,074 --> 00:04:53,684
[laughs]
Hey, man.
129
00:04:53,728 --> 00:04:56,296
Come on, now, I'm still
Calvin from the block.
130
00:04:56,339 --> 00:04:58,080
Mm.Ain't nothing changed about me
131
00:04:58,123 --> 00:05:01,344
except for this house, and
insurance paid for most of it.
132
00:05:01,388 --> 00:05:04,478
What kind of bougie insurance
covers a mug froster?
133
00:05:04,521 --> 00:05:07,611
Man, I own a bar
and I don't even have that.
134
00:05:07,655 --> 00:05:10,353
Well, that's because I got
real insurance.
135
00:05:10,397 --> 00:05:13,138
Not one that has a table
at the swap meet.
136
00:05:13,182 --> 00:05:14,966
[both laugh]
137
00:05:15,010 --> 00:05:17,752
I must admit it's
really nice to see
138
00:05:17,795 --> 00:05:20,581
how the other half
lives... Hollywood.
139
00:05:20,624 --> 00:05:22,757
[both laugh]
140
00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:25,455
Okay, all right, you two
done had your fun, man.
141
00:05:25,499 --> 00:05:27,501
You can stop calling me
Hollywood.
142
00:05:27,544 --> 00:05:30,373
Hey, we ain't mad
at you, Hollywood.
143
00:05:30,417 --> 00:05:32,636
[laughter]Don't call security.
144
00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:34,072
Uh-oh.
145
00:05:34,116 --> 00:05:35,683
No, I don't have
to call security,
146
00:05:35,726 --> 00:05:37,772
but I might call the IRS
and let 'em know
147
00:05:37,815 --> 00:05:39,948
that them two kids you claim
are not really yours.
148
00:05:44,735 --> 00:05:46,171
Hey, are you almost ready?
149
00:05:46,215 --> 00:05:47,825
We're gonna be late for
Calvin and Tina's party.
150
00:05:47,869 --> 00:05:50,219
I know,
but we need to talk.
151
00:05:50,262 --> 00:05:51,916
Oh, God, what did I do?
What did I forget?
152
00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:54,223
Can I just pre-apologize,
so we can go to the party?
153
00:05:56,138 --> 00:05:58,314
Look, watch whatever
freaky thing you're into,
154
00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:00,229
just please do it
on your own tablet.
155
00:06:02,579 --> 00:06:04,407
♪ Ride with me, all my girls,
all my girls with me... ♪
156
00:06:04,451 --> 00:06:06,453
♪
157
00:06:10,674 --> 00:06:13,982
Why didn't you tell me you were
into videos of women twerking?
158
00:06:14,025 --> 00:06:16,114
I'm not. I'm...
159
00:06:16,158 --> 00:06:18,813
I mean, I am now, uh...
160
00:06:18,856 --> 00:06:21,424
But it wasn't me
who was watching those videos.
161
00:06:21,468 --> 00:06:23,818
[chuckles] Oh, come on, Dave,
who else could it be?
162
00:06:23,861 --> 00:06:25,341
Hey, I'm ready to go.
163
00:06:27,082 --> 00:06:29,737
Marty said the housewarming's
turning into a dance party.
164
00:06:29,780 --> 00:06:30,999
I don't want to miss that.
165
00:06:31,042 --> 00:06:32,783
I bet you don't.
166
00:06:34,872 --> 00:06:36,787
[door closes]Dave!
167
00:06:36,831 --> 00:06:38,528
Today it's twerking videos,
168
00:06:38,572 --> 00:06:40,182
tomorrow it's something...
169
00:06:40,225 --> 00:06:41,879
twerkier.
170
00:06:41,923 --> 00:06:44,186
Okay, well...
171
00:06:44,229 --> 00:06:45,666
let's cancel the Internet.
172
00:06:45,709 --> 00:06:47,494
No.
173
00:06:47,537 --> 00:06:48,799
I think it's time we have a more
174
00:06:48,843 --> 00:06:50,671
mature conversation
with him about sex.
175
00:06:51,889 --> 00:06:53,021
We've already explained
the basics,
176
00:06:53,064 --> 00:06:54,414
so we just need
to take it up a level.
177
00:06:54,457 --> 00:06:56,633
Yeah, you're right,
but I'll-I'll do it.
178
00:06:56,677 --> 00:06:58,983
Make it a father-son
bonding thing.
179
00:06:59,027 --> 00:07:00,855
But first...
180
00:07:00,898 --> 00:07:03,466
I don't know how they do this,
I mean, just-just physically.
181
00:07:03,510 --> 00:07:05,990
Oh, it's easy.
It's all in the knees.
182
00:07:09,690 --> 00:07:12,823
♪ Ride with me...
183
00:07:14,346 --> 00:07:15,347
How'd you get so good at that?
184
00:07:15,391 --> 00:07:17,088
From watching
twerking videos.
185
00:07:17,132 --> 00:07:19,090
But I clear
my search history.
186
00:07:23,704 --> 00:07:25,488
Hey, Calvin, is Grover inside?
187
00:07:25,532 --> 00:07:28,273
Yeah, he's in there
on my iPad.
188
00:07:28,317 --> 00:07:29,274
Oh, no!
189
00:07:32,974 --> 00:07:34,192
Whoa, look at you.
190
00:07:34,236 --> 00:07:36,194
Frosted mug.
Somebody's living large.
191
00:07:36,238 --> 00:07:38,283
I'm just living, Dave.
192
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,374
Look, I'm sorry, man.
It's just a lot of people
193
00:07:42,418 --> 00:07:44,464
in there with a lot of opinions.
194
00:07:44,507 --> 00:07:47,031
Well, I'm glad
you're out here alone.
195
00:07:48,032 --> 00:07:49,686
We need to talk about sex.
196
00:07:51,993 --> 00:07:54,517
Dave, we've had
that talk already.
197
00:07:54,561 --> 00:07:56,301
[laughs]
198
00:07:56,345 --> 00:07:57,999
No.
199
00:07:58,042 --> 00:08:00,262
Gemma and I found out
that Grover's been watching
200
00:08:00,305 --> 00:08:01,959
these twerking videos, and now
201
00:08:02,003 --> 00:08:03,700
I have to have
a real sex talk with him.
202
00:08:03,744 --> 00:08:05,920
Oh.And I was hoping
to run some ideas by you,
203
00:08:05,963 --> 00:08:08,183
since presumably you've had
to do it twice.
204
00:08:08,226 --> 00:08:10,664
[chuckles]
More like six times.
205
00:08:10,707 --> 00:08:14,015
Marty refused to believe
that people would engage
206
00:08:14,058 --> 00:08:15,973
in such "inappropriate
207
00:08:16,017 --> 00:08:18,106
and unsanitary behavior."
208
00:08:20,717 --> 00:08:22,327
Well, look,
I'm just trying to avoid it
209
00:08:22,371 --> 00:08:24,068
being awkward
and uncomfortable,
210
00:08:24,112 --> 00:08:27,507
like, like the sex talk
that I had with my dad.
211
00:08:27,550 --> 00:08:29,073
Well, Dave,
you have a way of making
212
00:08:29,117 --> 00:08:30,945
the simplest conversation
awkward.
213
00:08:32,163 --> 00:08:34,209
A lot like the way
this one started.
214
00:08:35,602 --> 00:08:37,560
Look, I know, and I just...
215
00:08:37,604 --> 00:08:38,953
I don't want
to screw up this up.
216
00:08:38,996 --> 00:08:41,216
Look, man.
217
00:08:41,259 --> 00:08:43,348
In this hyper-sexualized world
we live in,
218
00:08:43,392 --> 00:08:46,395
Grover is bound to be exposed
one way or the other,
219
00:08:46,438 --> 00:08:49,267
so you're smart to try
to get ahead of this.
220
00:08:49,311 --> 00:08:52,619
But the most important thing
you can teach him
221
00:08:52,662 --> 00:08:55,056
is to make good decisions
222
00:08:55,099 --> 00:08:57,406
and treat his partners
with respect.
223
00:08:58,450 --> 00:08:59,626
Wow.
224
00:08:59,669 --> 00:09:02,411
You see, that, that was perfect.
225
00:09:03,499 --> 00:09:05,066
Can you be there
when I talk to Grover?
226
00:09:07,024 --> 00:09:10,680
So you want
your neighbor to watch
227
00:09:10,724 --> 00:09:13,814
while you talk
to your son about sex?
228
00:09:14,989 --> 00:09:17,513
No, you're right. That's my
dad's sex talk all over again.
229
00:09:20,777 --> 00:09:23,606
Oh, look, baby,
the Patels sent us a gift.
230
00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:25,565
You know,
the neighborhood is
231
00:09:25,608 --> 00:09:28,002
still talking about the party
and our remodel.
232
00:09:28,045 --> 00:09:29,525
Yeah, I know.
233
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:31,092
I'm just worried that
showing off our house
234
00:09:31,135 --> 00:09:33,007
may have sent the wrong message.
235
00:09:33,050 --> 00:09:34,617
I mean, Ernie
and the guys
236
00:09:34,661 --> 00:09:36,140
kept saying that
I've gone Hollywood.
237
00:09:36,184 --> 00:09:38,969
And that the Butlers,
we all Bel Air bougie now.
238
00:09:39,013 --> 00:09:40,362
[groans]
239
00:09:41,537 --> 00:09:43,191
Baby, they're just
busting your chops.
240
00:09:43,234 --> 00:09:45,497
They didn't mean it.
241
00:09:45,541 --> 00:09:48,022
Mama, can I have
another espresso macchiato
242
00:09:48,065 --> 00:09:50,111
from your Italian coffee maker,
please?
243
00:09:51,765 --> 00:09:53,897
I love how it steams
the milk all light and foamy.
244
00:09:53,941 --> 00:09:55,507
Oh, okay.
245
00:09:55,551 --> 00:09:57,466
Oh, you want one,
Marty?
246
00:09:57,509 --> 00:09:59,337
Uh, I guess, although last time
247
00:09:59,381 --> 00:10:01,165
the steamed milk was light
248
00:10:01,209 --> 00:10:03,341
but it was not
particularly foamy.
249
00:10:03,385 --> 00:10:05,126
No.
250
00:10:05,169 --> 00:10:06,954
Not bougie at all.
251
00:10:08,259 --> 00:10:10,566
So why aren't y'all drinking
the coffee at your own place?
252
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,176
'Cause you got all
the good stuff.
253
00:10:12,220 --> 00:10:14,352
And we need it especially
after playing poker
254
00:10:14,396 --> 00:10:16,006
at Ernie's all night long.Yeah.
255
00:10:16,050 --> 00:10:17,747
Ernie had a poker night?
256
00:10:17,791 --> 00:10:19,357
Well, yeah, Dad,
all the guys were there.
257
00:10:19,401 --> 00:10:21,098
We figured you were busy
at the shop.
258
00:10:21,142 --> 00:10:22,883
No. I wasn't invited.
259
00:10:22,926 --> 00:10:24,493
You see, Tina?
260
00:10:24,536 --> 00:10:26,495
Baby, they probably just forgot.
261
00:10:26,538 --> 00:10:28,366
No, they didn't forget.
262
00:10:28,410 --> 00:10:31,065
They think I've changed, like
I'm not one of them anymore.
263
00:10:31,108 --> 00:10:33,589
[stammers] No, no, look,
for what it's worth, Pop,
264
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:36,418
we did have your back when
the guys were clowning you.
265
00:10:36,461 --> 00:10:38,289
You did?BOTH: Yeah.
266
00:10:38,333 --> 00:10:39,987
'Cause they was
going in on you, Pop!
267
00:10:40,030 --> 00:10:43,033
Yo, Ernie said
you are so siditty,
268
00:10:43,077 --> 00:10:44,774
you now pronounce
your name
269
00:10:44,818 --> 00:10:47,342
[French accent]:
Cal-veen Boot-lar!
270
00:10:49,039 --> 00:10:50,693
[both laughing]
271
00:10:50,737 --> 00:10:52,042
Ah!
272
00:10:52,086 --> 00:10:53,435
[both clearing throats]
273
00:10:55,219 --> 00:10:57,178
After a couple hours
of clowning you,
274
00:10:57,221 --> 00:10:59,441
we was like, "That's my
daddy, come on, now, like..."
275
00:10:59,484 --> 00:11:01,617
That's what you did?
276
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:02,923
Yeah.Yeah, we did.
277
00:11:02,966 --> 00:11:04,011
Okay, well, Cal-veen
278
00:11:04,054 --> 00:11:06,056
says get your own damn coffees.
279
00:11:06,100 --> 00:11:07,449
No, Daddy, no...
280
00:11:08,885 --> 00:11:10,670
Mmm, this isfoamy.
281
00:11:16,850 --> 00:11:18,678
Tina?Mm-hmm.
282
00:11:18,721 --> 00:11:20,331
I was looking
at that bidet
283
00:11:20,375 --> 00:11:22,899
and realized
this is all your fault.
284
00:11:22,943 --> 00:11:25,641
My fault? How is this my fault?
285
00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:27,295
Well, you're the one
that invited people
286
00:11:27,338 --> 00:11:28,905
over to our new abode and...
287
00:11:28,949 --> 00:11:30,994
Did I just say "abode"?
288
00:11:32,953 --> 00:11:34,476
What have you done to me?
289
00:11:34,519 --> 00:11:36,521
You know what,
maybe I have changed.
290
00:11:36,565 --> 00:11:38,872
Baby, you haven't changed.
291
00:11:38,915 --> 00:11:41,439
You just now have a house
that's tailored to your taste.
292
00:11:41,483 --> 00:11:43,572
They'll come around.
293
00:11:43,615 --> 00:11:46,314
No, this is how it starts, Tina.
294
00:11:46,357 --> 00:11:48,272
First you're not invited
to poker.
295
00:11:48,316 --> 00:11:50,535
Then you're shunned
by your whole community.
296
00:11:50,579 --> 00:11:52,407
Eventually your only friend
297
00:11:52,450 --> 00:11:54,409
is a recliner named Renata.
298
00:11:56,803 --> 00:11:58,761
Yeah, I knew you would name it.
299
00:11:59,849 --> 00:12:02,722
Babe, the way
she cradles me in her lap...
300
00:12:02,765 --> 00:12:05,376
just calling her "chair"
felt rude.
301
00:12:06,421 --> 00:12:08,945
Don't make me rip out
her stuffing.
302
00:12:10,338 --> 00:12:12,949
Look, baby, you're just
overreacting about all of this.
303
00:12:12,993 --> 00:12:16,474
Our community still looks
to you as a leader.
304
00:12:16,518 --> 00:12:19,826
No, babe,
not if they can't relate to me.
305
00:12:19,869 --> 00:12:21,784
They're starting
to pull away, Tina.
306
00:12:21,828 --> 00:12:23,743
Because they think...
307
00:12:23,786 --> 00:12:25,657
they think I'm the new Omarosa.
308
00:12:26,789 --> 00:12:28,835
Okay.
309
00:12:28,878 --> 00:12:30,924
All right, no, how about this,
why don't you invite
310
00:12:30,967 --> 00:12:32,839
the guys over to watch a game?
311
00:12:32,882 --> 00:12:35,363
You can talk a lot of trash
and prove to them
312
00:12:35,406 --> 00:12:37,234
that you're still
the same old Calvin.
313
00:12:37,278 --> 00:12:39,759
[British accent]:
Splendid idea!
314
00:12:40,934 --> 00:12:43,023
This house got me saying
"splendid"
315
00:12:43,066 --> 00:12:44,546
with a British accent.
316
00:12:44,589 --> 00:12:46,374
Yeah.
317
00:12:46,417 --> 00:12:47,505
You know what, now I'm peeved.
318
00:12:49,246 --> 00:12:50,682
You know what, damn it,
I'm gonna just stop talking.
319
00:12:53,511 --> 00:12:56,819
Which is why the most
important thing is consent.
320
00:12:56,863 --> 00:12:58,821
You know, you never want
to make anyone do something
321
00:12:58,865 --> 00:13:00,388
that they're not
comfortable with.
322
00:13:00,431 --> 00:13:02,259
Well, you make me
clean my room.
323
00:13:02,303 --> 00:13:03,783
I didn't consentto that.
324
00:13:07,569 --> 00:13:09,527
Well, that's your mom, not me.
325
00:13:09,571 --> 00:13:12,835
Now, let's talk
about those twerking videos.
326
00:13:12,879 --> 00:13:15,838
It is completely normal
for you to want to watch them.
327
00:13:15,882 --> 00:13:19,102
Oh, good, but why can't
I stop watching them?
328
00:13:20,582 --> 00:13:22,410
That's a good question.
329
00:13:22,453 --> 00:13:24,412
Uh, well...
330
00:13:24,455 --> 00:13:26,806
Grover, we have
these things called hormones.
331
00:13:26,849 --> 00:13:29,069
Uh, which are...
332
00:13:29,112 --> 00:13:31,462
you know, little guys that
bounce around inside your body
333
00:13:31,506 --> 00:13:34,683
and... make you want
to buy engagement rings
334
00:13:34,726 --> 00:13:37,991
and... be nice to passive-
aggressive mother-in-laws.
335
00:13:40,297 --> 00:13:41,516
What?
336
00:13:42,865 --> 00:13:45,259
No, I get it, I get it,
it's-it's complicated.
337
00:13:45,302 --> 00:13:46,695
Luckily...
338
00:13:46,738 --> 00:13:48,175
I've written a song.
339
00:13:48,218 --> 00:13:49,219
Oh, no.
340
00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:53,963
[laughter, clamoring]
341
00:13:54,007 --> 00:13:55,573
See, what'd I tell you, man?
342
00:13:55,617 --> 00:13:58,315
Just a regular old game night
with the regular fellas.
343
00:13:58,359 --> 00:14:00,274
Yeah, all right.Yeah!
344
00:14:00,317 --> 00:14:01,797
Thanks for having
us over, Calvin.
345
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:04,234
This new 4K TV
is no joke.
346
00:14:04,278 --> 00:14:07,063
The Lakers look like they're
actually in the living room.
347
00:14:08,412 --> 00:14:09,500
ALL:
Oh!
348
00:14:09,544 --> 00:14:10,675
I thought Durant was
349
00:14:10,719 --> 00:14:11,807
actually gonna kick me.
350
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:13,417
[laughter, clamoring]
351
00:14:13,461 --> 00:14:15,376
Ooh, LeBron on a breakaway.
There he go!
352
00:14:15,419 --> 00:14:16,899
Boom!
353
00:14:16,943 --> 00:14:18,858
[cheering, clamoring]
354
00:14:20,990 --> 00:14:22,862
Uh... Malcolm did it.
355
00:14:22,905 --> 00:14:23,950
What?
Malcolm did it.
356
00:14:23,993 --> 00:14:25,603
Ernie did it.
357
00:14:25,647 --> 00:14:27,649
[stammers]
Do not point your finger at me.
358
00:14:27,692 --> 00:14:29,390
Okay, all right, guys,
come on, now.
359
00:14:29,433 --> 00:14:30,870
Accidents happen.
360
00:14:30,913 --> 00:14:32,915
Ain't nothing a few napkins
can't take care of.
361
00:14:32,959 --> 00:14:35,091
Here you go, just get that.
362
00:14:35,135 --> 00:14:37,006
Are you okay?I'm okay.
363
00:14:37,050 --> 00:14:38,442
Yeah.
364
00:14:40,183 --> 00:14:41,619
Ernie?Hmm?
365
00:14:41,663 --> 00:14:44,405
Old buddy, you mind, uh,
taking your feet off my ottoman?
366
00:14:44,448 --> 00:14:46,233
It's an ottoman.
367
00:14:46,276 --> 00:14:48,104
Isn't that where you're supposed
to put your feet?
368
00:14:48,148 --> 00:14:51,325
Not when it's made out
of Bolivian bovine, no.
369
00:14:51,368 --> 00:14:54,284
Oh, I thought you said
make ourselves at home,
370
00:14:54,328 --> 00:14:56,112
Hollywood.
371
00:14:56,156 --> 00:14:57,766
[laughter]
372
00:14:57,809 --> 00:14:59,811
You're right, you're right.
373
00:15:01,074 --> 00:15:03,467
Mi casa, su casa.
374
00:15:03,511 --> 00:15:05,513
Yeah.Well, in that case...
375
00:15:05,556 --> 00:15:07,036
[electricity buzzes]ALL: Oh!
376
00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:09,821
I'm sorry, I think
I broke your remote.
377
00:15:09,865 --> 00:15:11,954
That wasn't
just a remote!
378
00:15:11,998 --> 00:15:13,913
That was a new smart-house,
multi-platform,
379
00:15:13,956 --> 00:15:15,349
touch-screen keypad.
380
00:15:15,392 --> 00:15:17,394
My bad, Hollywood.
381
00:15:17,438 --> 00:15:20,223
But if it was so smart, it
should've moved out of the way.
382
00:15:20,267 --> 00:15:21,746
[laughter]
383
00:15:21,790 --> 00:15:24,140
Move... get out the way!Get out the way!
384
00:15:24,184 --> 00:15:26,534
You know what, that's it!
385
00:15:26,577 --> 00:15:28,492
You know what, I'm tired
of y'all thinking I'm different
386
00:15:28,536 --> 00:15:30,103
because of my house.
387
00:15:30,146 --> 00:15:32,322
Yes, it's beautiful.
388
00:15:32,366 --> 00:15:34,542
And, yes, I'm proud of it,
but just like y'all,
389
00:15:34,585 --> 00:15:36,413
I work hard to have what I have.
390
00:15:36,457 --> 00:15:39,025
Now get your Sasquatch feet
off my ottoman!
391
00:15:39,068 --> 00:15:40,896
Hey, uh... [clears throat]
392
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,463
I think what my pops
is trying to say is,
393
00:15:42,506 --> 00:15:43,855
please respect his space.
394
00:15:43,899 --> 00:15:45,466
CALVIN:
I-I'm sorry,
was I not clear?
395
00:15:45,509 --> 00:15:47,250
What I'm saying is...
396
00:15:47,294 --> 00:15:48,817
get the hell out of here!
397
00:15:48,860 --> 00:15:50,688
Go! Everybody...You talking to me?
398
00:15:50,732 --> 00:15:52,734
Put the cup down, Ernie,
put the cup down.
399
00:15:52,777 --> 00:15:54,692
You know that,
and don't try to get no salsa,
400
00:15:54,736 --> 00:15:56,390
don't try to take no chips.
Everybody, go.
401
00:15:57,434 --> 00:15:59,306
You know, I got to say,
402
00:15:59,349 --> 00:16:01,961
you're starting to feel
like the old Calvin again.
403
00:16:02,004 --> 00:16:03,571
Oh, you miss the old Calvin?
404
00:16:03,614 --> 00:16:04,702
Yeah, man.
405
00:16:04,746 --> 00:16:05,747
Well, this is gonna
warm your heart.
406
00:16:10,882 --> 00:16:13,320
So, you see, there's these
things called hormones.
407
00:16:13,363 --> 00:16:15,670
And they make you want
to buy expensive stuff.
408
00:16:17,019 --> 00:16:18,716
And you need consent,
but not when it comes
409
00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:20,762
to cleaning your room
or eating broccoli.
410
00:16:22,068 --> 00:16:23,808
Well, you know, it makes
more sense if you sing it.
411
00:16:23,852 --> 00:16:25,636
So the song is
basically about...
412
00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:28,204
♪ Touching and rubbing
413
00:16:28,248 --> 00:16:30,163
♪ And putting... Thank you for sharing, Grover.
414
00:16:30,206 --> 00:16:32,295
But I believe
they've heard enough.
415
00:16:35,255 --> 00:16:36,908
What were you thinking?
416
00:16:36,952 --> 00:16:39,085
Every kid on the playground
is singing about sex,
417
00:16:39,128 --> 00:16:41,043
like it's
a fun Taylor Swift song.
418
00:16:41,087 --> 00:16:43,002
What do you have
to say for yourself?
419
00:16:46,788 --> 00:16:49,399
Did they really compare
my songwriting to Taylor Swift?
420
00:16:51,619 --> 00:16:54,317
Okay, I'm sorry...
421
00:16:54,361 --> 00:16:56,972
Ms. Johnson, but can we please
talk about this at home?
422
00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:58,930
No, because I'm not
your wife right now.
423
00:16:58,974 --> 00:17:00,758
I am your son's principal.
424
00:17:00,802 --> 00:17:02,717
Okay, well, in my defense,
425
00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:04,719
how do you explain hormones?
426
00:17:04,762 --> 00:17:06,329
I mean, nobody knows
what those things are.
427
00:17:06,373 --> 00:17:09,202
They're our bodies'
chemical messengers.
428
00:17:10,333 --> 00:17:12,509
Ooh, that's good, I got
to add that to my sex talk song.
429
00:17:12,553 --> 00:17:14,729
What rhymes with messenger?
430
00:17:14,772 --> 00:17:17,253
Got it. "Sex with her."
431
00:17:19,299 --> 00:17:20,996
Dave, Grover needs
432
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:22,824
real information about sex.
433
00:17:22,867 --> 00:17:24,739
Yeah, I know...
you're right.
434
00:17:24,782 --> 00:17:26,741
I overthought it. I just,
I didn't want it to be
435
00:17:26,784 --> 00:17:28,482
like the sex talk
I had with my dad.
436
00:17:28,525 --> 00:17:30,440
Everything was
a power tool reference.
437
00:17:30,484 --> 00:17:33,052
I still feel dirty
walking around the Home Depot.
438
00:17:37,447 --> 00:17:39,275
Okay, so...
439
00:17:39,319 --> 00:17:40,798
what does this thing do again?
440
00:17:40,842 --> 00:17:42,583
It's a convection oven.
441
00:17:42,626 --> 00:17:44,541
It can braise, roast and toast.[doorbell rings]
442
00:17:44,585 --> 00:17:47,196
Isn't that
what a regular oven does?
443
00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:49,546
Well, this one convections.
444
00:17:49,590 --> 00:17:51,070
Oh.
445
00:17:51,113 --> 00:17:52,810
Well, that clears that up.
446
00:17:54,856 --> 00:17:56,292
Oh, hey, Ernie. Come on in.
447
00:17:56,336 --> 00:17:57,598
Thank you.Mm-hmm.
448
00:17:57,641 --> 00:17:59,208
CALVIN:
Oh, quick, Tina.
449
00:17:59,252 --> 00:18:00,992
Hide the Grey Poupon
450
00:18:01,036 --> 00:18:02,820
before Ernie accuses me of being
451
00:18:02,864 --> 00:18:04,735
a mustard elitist.
452
00:18:06,172 --> 00:18:08,130
[chuckles]
453
00:18:08,174 --> 00:18:10,785
Actually, that's why I'm here.
454
00:18:10,828 --> 00:18:12,613
I want to apologize
455
00:18:12,656 --> 00:18:15,006
for all the snide comments
and rude jokes.
456
00:18:16,182 --> 00:18:17,618
You didn't deserve that.
457
00:18:17,661 --> 00:18:20,142
Yeah, man, I mean,
we've always kidded around,
458
00:18:20,186 --> 00:18:23,667
giving each other a hard time,
but... this felt different.
459
00:18:23,711 --> 00:18:26,844
I'm embarrassed to admit it,
but I was jealous.
460
00:18:26,888 --> 00:18:30,152
I had a bad year at the bar.
I'm two months behind
461
00:18:30,196 --> 00:18:32,067
on rent and I...
462
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:33,721
might have to shut down.
463
00:18:35,026 --> 00:18:36,724
But-but I still
shouldn't have taken
464
00:18:36,767 --> 00:18:38,639
my frustrations out on you.
465
00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:41,729
I'm sorry.
466
00:18:41,772 --> 00:18:43,731
Wow, man.
467
00:18:43,774 --> 00:18:45,950
I didn't know.
468
00:18:45,994 --> 00:18:47,996
Look, apology accepted.
469
00:18:48,039 --> 00:18:49,476
Thanks.
So...
470
00:18:49,519 --> 00:18:51,347
why don't you stay
and have some dinner with us.
471
00:18:51,391 --> 00:18:53,610
Well, I have good timing.
[chuckles]
472
00:18:53,654 --> 00:18:55,090
Can I get you a beer?
473
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:56,613
Oh, could I get one
of them frosted mugs?
474
00:18:56,657 --> 00:18:58,180
Oh, you ain't said
nothing but a word.
475
00:18:58,224 --> 00:18:59,529
Ah...
476
00:18:59,573 --> 00:19:01,836
Yeah, yeah,
all right, y'all.
477
00:19:01,879 --> 00:19:04,055
Time for me to head home.
478
00:19:04,099 --> 00:19:05,840
Thank you for the hospitality.TINA: Okay.
479
00:19:05,883 --> 00:19:08,712
Oh, hey, hey!
Was that chicken convectioned?
480
00:19:08,756 --> 00:19:10,845
Why, yes, it was.
481
00:19:10,888 --> 00:19:12,455
Thank you for noticing.
482
00:19:12,499 --> 00:19:14,675
I knew it, yeah, yeah.
483
00:19:14,718 --> 00:19:16,198
Oh, uh, Ernie,
before you go,
484
00:19:16,242 --> 00:19:18,505
um, there's something
that we wanted to give you.
485
00:19:18,548 --> 00:19:20,637
What's this?
Look, man,
486
00:19:20,681 --> 00:19:23,510
I'm not a rich man,
but I am a blessed one.Yes.
487
00:19:23,553 --> 00:19:25,425
And as a small
business owner,
488
00:19:25,468 --> 00:19:27,818
I know how tough times can be.
489
00:19:27,862 --> 00:19:30,212
But even more importantly,
man, you're my boy.
490
00:19:30,256 --> 00:19:32,519
So I know you would do
the same for me.
491
00:19:34,782 --> 00:19:36,740
Aw...
492
00:19:36,784 --> 00:19:38,133
Hey, look...
493
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:40,004
Thank-thank you,
but I-I can't take this.
494
00:19:40,048 --> 00:19:42,572
Oh...You can and you will.
495
00:19:44,008 --> 00:19:46,228
I appreciate it.
496
00:19:46,272 --> 00:19:49,362
Yeah, besides, man,
that right there, that's a loan.
497
00:19:49,405 --> 00:19:52,103
Don't think your boy out here
giving away free money.
498
00:19:52,147 --> 00:19:54,845
[laughs] Now, that
is the old Calvin.
499
00:19:54,889 --> 00:19:56,412
Yeah.
500
00:19:56,456 --> 00:19:57,935
Hey, thanks, you two.
501
00:19:57,979 --> 00:19:59,676
And I promise I will
repay this loan
502
00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:01,504
when I can.
503
00:20:01,548 --> 00:20:03,027
And when you do,
make sure you give me
504
00:20:03,071 --> 00:20:04,464
that other $40 you owe me.
505
00:20:04,507 --> 00:20:06,422
[laughs]:Yeah!
506
00:20:11,906 --> 00:20:14,343
And that's
how things really work.
507
00:20:14,387 --> 00:20:16,389
Wow!
508
00:20:18,391 --> 00:20:20,349
So, now that you have
this information,
509
00:20:20,393 --> 00:20:21,785
if you share it
with your friends,
510
00:20:21,829 --> 00:20:23,265
just stick to the facts.
511
00:20:23,309 --> 00:20:26,268
Oh, don't worry. I'd never
talk to my friends about this.
512
00:20:26,312 --> 00:20:28,836
Now that I know how
disgusting it is, count me out.
513
00:20:31,142 --> 00:20:33,275
Well, that went well.
514
00:20:33,319 --> 00:20:35,582
I know.
515
00:20:35,625 --> 00:20:37,932
I kind of want to update
my sex talk song now.
516
00:20:40,326 --> 00:20:42,284
Let me know
what you think of this.
517
00:20:42,328 --> 00:20:46,288
♪ She's got it, she's hypnotic
518
00:20:46,332 --> 00:20:50,336
♪ But now she's on antibiotics
519
00:20:50,379 --> 00:20:53,643
♪ She's got it, she's hyp...
520
00:20:53,687 --> 00:20:55,689
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
521
00:21:00,476 --> 00:21:01,129
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
37040
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