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1
00:00:06,571 --> 00:00:08,051
[whistle blows on TV]
2
00:00:08,095 --> 00:00:10,314
Come on, man! Air ball?
3
00:00:10,358 --> 00:00:13,970
At this point, I might as well
try out for the Lakers.
4
00:00:15,580 --> 00:00:17,408
Uh, Pop, didn't
you hurt your back
5
00:00:17,452 --> 00:00:19,062
brushing your teeth
the other day?
6
00:00:19,106 --> 00:00:21,108
That's because
our sink is too low.
7
00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:24,241
And, Tina,
stop telling my business.
8
00:00:24,285 --> 00:00:26,852
And you, keep my back
out your mouth.
9
00:00:27,984 --> 00:00:29,551
[phone chimes]
10
00:00:29,594 --> 00:00:31,248
[groans]
11
00:00:31,292 --> 00:00:33,294
Oh, damn.
12
00:00:33,337 --> 00:00:35,035
Text from my brother, Curtis.
13
00:00:35,078 --> 00:00:36,558
Said he's coming to visit.
14
00:00:36,601 --> 00:00:38,908
Oh, nice. He hasn't been here
for a couple of years.
15
00:00:38,951 --> 00:00:40,257
It'll be good to see him.
16
00:00:40,301 --> 00:00:41,954
I don't know,
whenever he shows up,
17
00:00:41,998 --> 00:00:43,869
he always wants something.
18
00:00:43,913 --> 00:00:45,262
We know it ain't money.
19
00:00:45,306 --> 00:00:48,004
Well, it better not be a kidney.
20
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:50,354
Baby, with that $100 million
lottery jackpot he got,
21
00:00:50,398 --> 00:00:52,269
he can buy
all the kidneys he wants.
22
00:00:52,313 --> 00:00:55,272
Wait, wait, I thought
he was with Mama Marilyn
23
00:00:55,316 --> 00:00:57,231
on a luxury cruise
around the world?
24
00:00:57,274 --> 00:00:59,015
Uh, whatever, man.
25
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:01,191
If I had won
the Super Powerball,
26
00:01:01,235 --> 00:01:04,325
I'd have bought Mama
her own cruise ship.
27
00:01:04,368 --> 00:01:05,978
Well, if Uncle
Curtis is coming,
28
00:01:06,022 --> 00:01:08,111
I need to update
my Amazon Wish List.
29
00:01:08,155 --> 00:01:10,200
Oh, me, too--
put me down for two jet skis.
30
00:01:10,244 --> 00:01:11,941
One for me
and one to rent.
31
00:01:11,984 --> 00:01:13,421
See, that's called
passive income.
32
00:01:14,857 --> 00:01:18,034
Guys, he's your uncle,
not Black Santa.
33
00:01:19,383 --> 00:01:21,211
But if he wants to buy us
one of those
34
00:01:21,255 --> 00:01:23,344
Sleep Number beds,
I would not be mad at him.
35
00:01:23,387 --> 00:01:25,215
Well, I am mad at him.
36
00:01:25,259 --> 00:01:27,087
Always flaunting
that money around
37
00:01:27,130 --> 00:01:30,090
like an NBA rookie
on All-Star weekend.
38
00:01:30,133 --> 00:01:32,440
Sounds like
somebody's jealous.[laughs]
39
00:01:34,529 --> 00:01:36,444
I didn't say
it was you.
40
00:01:36,487 --> 00:01:38,489
Well, good, because I'm not.
41
00:01:38,533 --> 00:01:40,187
I got everything I need.
42
00:01:40,230 --> 00:01:42,885
I got a beautiful wife,
adequate kids.
43
00:01:44,408 --> 00:01:46,454
[doorbell rings]Oh, I'll get it.
44
00:01:46,497 --> 00:01:48,369
You know what,
I'm just gonna text Curtis
45
00:01:48,412 --> 00:01:49,500
and tell him we out of town.
46
00:01:49,544 --> 00:01:51,154
I just don't want
to hear the noise.
47
00:01:51,198 --> 00:01:54,157
I don't want to hear
all that yackety-yack...
48
00:01:54,201 --> 00:01:56,855
Uh... what's all this?
49
00:01:56,899 --> 00:01:59,206
Here's... Curtis!
50
00:01:59,249 --> 00:02:01,556
[cheering, clamoring]
51
00:02:05,386 --> 00:02:07,953
Yeah! Yeah!
52
00:02:07,997 --> 00:02:11,000
Boy, you always knew
how to make an entrance.
53
00:02:11,043 --> 00:02:13,437
I mean, at least this time
you didn't blow money
54
00:02:13,481 --> 00:02:15,961
by bringing a gospel choir
and pole dancers.
55
00:02:16,005 --> 00:02:17,398
[laughs]
No, dawg.
56
00:02:17,441 --> 00:02:19,487
Of course not.
57
00:02:19,530 --> 00:02:22,054
Ix-nay on the pole ancers-day.
58
00:02:22,098 --> 00:02:24,013
Ix-nay.
59
00:02:26,233 --> 00:02:28,191
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
60
00:02:28,235 --> 00:02:29,192
♪ Welcome to the hood.
61
00:02:34,719 --> 00:02:36,068
[laughing]
62
00:02:36,112 --> 00:02:39,115
So the hostess says
there's a 30-minute wait,
63
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:42,162
and Mama's getting hangry,
so I bought the place.
64
00:02:42,205 --> 00:02:44,686
Now I own a Applebee's.
65
00:02:44,729 --> 00:02:47,123
I mean, what other choice
did I have?
66
00:02:48,385 --> 00:02:50,648
I don't know,
you could've waited at the bar
67
00:02:50,692 --> 00:02:53,303
and ordered Riblets
like regular people?
68
00:02:53,347 --> 00:02:57,177
I can't believe you left
Mama Marilyn on a cruise ship.
69
00:02:57,220 --> 00:02:59,396
Oh, she's fine. I left her
at the blackjack table
70
00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:03,052
with a gang of chips, a Pepsi,
and a bucket of shrimps.
71
00:03:05,228 --> 00:03:07,535
Okay, well, maybe I should
call her and let her know
72
00:03:07,578 --> 00:03:10,059
you're no longer
in the bathroom.
73
00:03:11,452 --> 00:03:13,062
Well, you know,
it's so good to finally meet
74
00:03:13,105 --> 00:03:14,542
Calvin's little brother.
75
00:03:14,585 --> 00:03:17,414
Ah, yeah, I got to tell you,
when we saw six Escalades
76
00:03:17,458 --> 00:03:21,201
pull up on the street, I
thought it was the president.
77
00:03:21,244 --> 00:03:23,507
Not yet,
but I'm putting together a team.
78
00:03:24,682 --> 00:03:27,163
Oh, hasn't this country
been through enough?
79
00:03:28,469 --> 00:03:30,166
I don't know.
80
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:31,994
Those are some pretty
sweet rides out front.
81
00:03:32,037 --> 00:03:33,256
Yeah, man, I would love to take
82
00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:35,127
one of those out for a spin.
83
00:03:35,171 --> 00:03:38,043
Finally, my Oprah moment!
You get
84
00:03:38,087 --> 00:03:39,349
a car and you get a car!
85
00:03:39,393 --> 00:03:40,698
Oh, my--Yeah!
86
00:03:40,742 --> 00:03:43,440
Hey, don't get too attached--
they're rentals.
87
00:03:45,660 --> 00:03:47,357
Anybody else need a car?
88
00:03:47,401 --> 00:03:49,707
Or a Applebee's?
89
00:03:49,751 --> 00:03:51,535
Well, you know, to be honest,
90
00:03:51,579 --> 00:03:53,102
we could use
one of those SUVs tomorrow.
91
00:03:53,145 --> 00:03:54,712
We're taking a ton of
stuff to the Goodwill.
92
00:03:54,756 --> 00:03:56,627
Oh, yeah, we moved here
with so much stuff,
93
00:03:56,671 --> 00:03:58,281
and we never really organized.
94
00:03:58,325 --> 00:04:00,065
So we want to get it done
while Grover's away at camp.
95
00:04:00,109 --> 00:04:01,284
Yeah, and if we don't
do it now, we're gonna
96
00:04:01,328 --> 00:04:02,546
have to rent a storage unit.
97
00:04:02,590 --> 00:04:04,418
Oh, well, we wouldn't have to
98
00:04:04,461 --> 00:04:06,333
if someone didn't insist
on keeping
99
00:04:06,376 --> 00:04:09,118
every T-shirt from every 5K
he's ever run.
100
00:04:10,641 --> 00:04:12,208
Well, I don't know
what to tell you, Gemma.
101
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:13,601
They all spark joy.
102
00:04:13,644 --> 00:04:15,385
Dave, they can't
all spark joy.
103
00:04:15,429 --> 00:04:17,082
Well--That's ridiculous.
104
00:04:17,126 --> 00:04:18,562
[door closes]
105
00:04:18,606 --> 00:04:20,608
White people have
the strangest fights.
106
00:04:23,393 --> 00:04:25,003
These are real smooth,
man.
107
00:04:25,047 --> 00:04:26,483
Should be.
108
00:04:26,527 --> 00:04:28,746
I knew a guy that knew a guy
that knew Castro.
109
00:04:28,790 --> 00:04:30,400
But if anybody asks,
110
00:04:30,444 --> 00:04:32,141
they're Honduran.
111
00:04:32,184 --> 00:04:34,622
[chuckles]
112
00:04:34,665 --> 00:04:37,581
Yeah, man,
we've come a long way, huh?
113
00:04:37,625 --> 00:04:39,191
Remember Mama and Daddy
114
00:04:39,235 --> 00:04:41,585
had to put everything
on layaway?
115
00:04:41,629 --> 00:04:43,413
I remember my first Big Wheel.
116
00:04:43,457 --> 00:04:45,589
By the time I got it,
I was too big for it.
117
00:04:45,633 --> 00:04:48,592
Yeah, we had to grease
you up pretty good
118
00:04:48,636 --> 00:04:51,116
to get you in and out
of that thing, remember?
119
00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:53,510
[laughs]
Man.
120
00:04:53,554 --> 00:04:56,078
I'm so glad those days
are behind us.
121
00:04:56,121 --> 00:04:58,298
Now I got a guy for everything.
122
00:04:58,341 --> 00:05:01,126
If I want something, I get it.
123
00:05:01,170 --> 00:05:04,086
Well, it's not that easy for me.
124
00:05:04,129 --> 00:05:06,306
I've been saving up money
to get Tina
125
00:05:06,349 --> 00:05:08,960
this Birkin bag
for our 35th anniversary.
126
00:05:09,004 --> 00:05:11,441
It's not for another
three years, but by that time,
127
00:05:11,485 --> 00:05:13,095
I should have the money,
you know?
128
00:05:13,138 --> 00:05:14,444
I hear those bags ain't cheap.
129
00:05:14,488 --> 00:05:16,316
Oh, no.
130
00:05:16,359 --> 00:05:19,275
A bag that expensive should
come with its own shoulder.
131
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:20,624
[laughs]
132
00:05:20,668 --> 00:05:23,584
Nah. Tina's worth it.
133
00:05:23,627 --> 00:05:25,455
You got a really good one
there, Cee.
134
00:05:25,499 --> 00:05:27,196
Yeah, thank you, man.
135
00:05:27,239 --> 00:05:28,806
I mean, you got you
a good woman, too.
136
00:05:28,850 --> 00:05:32,157
You-you and Raquel, y'all coming
up on, like, a year now, huh?
137
00:05:32,201 --> 00:05:33,507
How's she?
138
00:05:33,550 --> 00:05:35,726
She left me.
139
00:05:35,770 --> 00:05:38,250
Classic story.
140
00:05:38,294 --> 00:05:40,470
I bought her
some parasailing classes.
141
00:05:40,514 --> 00:05:42,777
She flies off
with the instructor.
142
00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:47,390
That's the real reason
why I came.
143
00:05:47,434 --> 00:05:49,610
I needed
my big brother's support.
144
00:05:49,653 --> 00:05:51,438
Man, I'm sorry
to hear that, little bro.
145
00:05:51,481 --> 00:05:53,701
I thought she was happy.
146
00:05:53,744 --> 00:05:55,485
I bought her everything.
147
00:05:55,529 --> 00:05:57,357
I even got her mother a new hip,
148
00:05:57,400 --> 00:05:58,967
so she could Tootsie Roll again.
149
00:05:59,010 --> 00:06:01,012
[laughs]
150
00:06:01,056 --> 00:06:02,971
Well, you know what?
That's Raquel's loss.
151
00:06:03,014 --> 00:06:04,451
And her Tootsie Rollin' mama.
152
00:06:04,494 --> 00:06:06,366
[both laugh]
153
00:06:06,409 --> 00:06:08,019
I got you,
little brother.
154
00:06:08,063 --> 00:06:10,500
Yeah.Thank you, C-Boogie.
155
00:06:11,545 --> 00:06:13,503
[coughing]
156
00:06:13,547 --> 00:06:14,983
You okay?
157
00:06:15,026 --> 00:06:16,550
Cigar too strong?
158
00:06:16,593 --> 00:06:19,422
No, it just reminds me
of Raquel.
159
00:06:19,466 --> 00:06:21,381
Packed, stacked,
160
00:06:21,424 --> 00:06:23,383
and bad for me.
161
00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:28,388
Aw, the slow cooker we got
162
00:06:28,431 --> 00:06:30,346
for our wedding
that we never used.
163
00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:32,304
Obvious toss, right?
164
00:06:32,348 --> 00:06:34,219
Well, I don't know.
165
00:06:34,263 --> 00:06:35,960
What if I need to make a stew?
166
00:06:36,004 --> 00:06:37,614
Have you ever made a stew?
167
00:06:37,658 --> 00:06:40,443
Well, no,
but I haven't needed to.
168
00:06:40,487 --> 00:06:41,618
Oh.
169
00:06:41,662 --> 00:06:43,664
[knocking]Oh.
170
00:06:45,274 --> 00:06:47,494
Oh, hey, Curtis.Hi.
171
00:06:47,537 --> 00:06:49,409
Hello, Calvin's friends.
172
00:06:50,671 --> 00:06:52,716
You said you needed
to be organized,
173
00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:54,414
so I hired Tyler.
174
00:06:54,457 --> 00:06:56,285
He's a stuff organizer.
175
00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:00,942
I prefer "domestic
efficiency expert."
176
00:07:00,985 --> 00:07:03,074
Yeah, I can't remember all
that-- I'm just gonna call you
177
00:07:03,118 --> 00:07:06,121
a "stuff organizer."
178
00:07:06,164 --> 00:07:07,949
You're Tyler.
179
00:07:07,992 --> 00:07:09,429
From Tyler Tidies Up.
180
00:07:09,472 --> 00:07:12,214
I watch your show...
when I should be cleaning.
181
00:07:12,257 --> 00:07:14,477
Wow, thank you, Curtis.
182
00:07:14,521 --> 00:07:15,957
Hey, what can I say?
183
00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:17,959
I make dreams come true.
184
00:07:18,002 --> 00:07:19,961
Later, kitty cats.
185
00:07:20,004 --> 00:07:21,441
Oh, meow!
186
00:07:23,094 --> 00:07:24,705
Hey, uh...
187
00:07:24,748 --> 00:07:27,272
didn't you help organize
Harry and Meghan's new house?
188
00:07:27,316 --> 00:07:29,057
Yes, and, uh, not to dish,
189
00:07:29,100 --> 00:07:30,624
but they are total hoarders.
190
00:07:32,277 --> 00:07:34,062
I mean, how many photographs
of the queen do you need?
191
00:07:34,105 --> 00:07:36,107
Oh, no.
192
00:07:36,151 --> 00:07:39,241
These can't possibly be
raver jeans.
193
00:07:39,284 --> 00:07:41,373
I'm telling you right now,
I'm tossing your glowsticks.
194
00:07:41,417 --> 00:07:44,420
[scoffs]
See what I'm dealing with here?
195
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:46,117
Okay, all right,
I am not quite sure
196
00:07:46,161 --> 00:07:48,250
how these made it
into the junk pile.
197
00:07:48,293 --> 00:07:50,774
I wore these to my very first
Sugar Ray concert.
198
00:07:52,341 --> 00:07:53,951
Look, I know parting
199
00:07:53,995 --> 00:07:55,953
with belongings
can be stressful.
200
00:07:55,997 --> 00:07:58,260
But I've got
just one question for you.
201
00:07:58,303 --> 00:08:00,480
Do you like clutter?
202
00:08:02,525 --> 00:08:04,614
No?
No.
203
00:08:04,658 --> 00:08:07,443
Of course not,
so I'll go through every inch
204
00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:10,185
of your home and decide
where everything belongs.
205
00:08:10,228 --> 00:08:12,448
Oh, my gosh, this is just
like being on your show.
206
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:14,145
Okay, how can we help?
207
00:08:14,189 --> 00:08:16,408
You can't.
Leave, and let Tyler--
208
00:08:16,452 --> 00:08:17,627
[British accent]:Tidy up!
209
00:08:17,671 --> 00:08:19,499
[clears her throat]
210
00:08:19,542 --> 00:08:22,023
Sorry, that's your line.
211
00:08:22,066 --> 00:08:24,155
No, no, I get it,
you're excited.
212
00:08:24,199 --> 00:08:25,417
But don't do it again.
213
00:08:28,986 --> 00:08:31,206
Ooh, okay, okay.
214
00:08:31,249 --> 00:08:32,555
Curtis hooked you boys up.
215
00:08:32,599 --> 00:08:34,252
Oh, big time, Mama.
216
00:08:34,296 --> 00:08:36,167
Drake was rocking
these babies in his last video.
217
00:08:36,211 --> 00:08:37,995
Oh, mm-hmm.
218
00:08:38,039 --> 00:08:39,562
Okay, do I look
debonair?
219
00:08:39,606 --> 00:08:41,172
No... don't answer that.
220
00:08:41,216 --> 00:08:42,652
I feel debonair.
221
00:08:42,696 --> 00:08:44,524
And that is
all that matters.
222
00:08:45,699 --> 00:08:47,570
[both laughing]
223
00:08:47,614 --> 00:08:49,703
Yes.
Yo!
224
00:08:49,746 --> 00:08:53,184
I bet you thought you'd never
helicopter to Tijuana for tacos.
225
00:08:53,228 --> 00:08:55,578
It was worth pissing off
that border patrol.
226
00:08:55,622 --> 00:08:58,146
Oh, that serrano ceviche
227
00:08:58,189 --> 00:09:00,365
was muy caliente.
228
00:09:01,453 --> 00:09:03,064
Hey, nephews.
229
00:09:04,065 --> 00:09:05,370
I got you a little
something.
230
00:09:05,414 --> 00:09:06,589
Aw, Uncle Curtis.
231
00:09:06,633 --> 00:09:08,025
You got to stop
buying us stuff, man.
232
00:09:08,069 --> 00:09:09,374
So y'all don't want
these Rolexes?
233
00:09:09,418 --> 00:09:11,289
No, I mean after this.
234
00:09:11,333 --> 00:09:14,118
No, no, after this, after this.
235
00:09:14,162 --> 00:09:15,598
Baby, I thought
you said you hated it
236
00:09:15,642 --> 00:09:17,513
when Curtis throws
his money around.
237
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,428
Well, I do, babe, but...
238
00:09:19,471 --> 00:09:22,387
he's going through
a real bad breakup, so...Oh.
239
00:09:22,431 --> 00:09:24,520
...if buying things for
people makes him happy,
240
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:27,001
who am I to judge?
241
00:09:27,044 --> 00:09:28,437
[doorbell rings]
242
00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:30,047
Oh, I'll get it.
243
00:09:30,091 --> 00:09:32,136
Oh, by the way...
244
00:09:32,180 --> 00:09:34,051
I got you something.
245
00:09:34,095 --> 00:09:36,576
Oh.
246
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:43,583
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
247
00:09:46,368 --> 00:09:48,588
No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
248
00:09:48,631 --> 00:09:50,633
No, no, no!
249
00:09:50,677 --> 00:09:53,288
Oh, somebody pinch me!
250
00:09:53,331 --> 00:09:55,507
A Hermes Birkin bag?!
251
00:09:55,551 --> 00:09:58,075
I-I've been wanting
one of these for years!
252
00:09:58,119 --> 00:10:00,251
Seven years
to be exact.
253
00:10:00,295 --> 00:10:02,297
What? How did you know?
254
00:10:02,340 --> 00:10:04,647
Baby, you told him,
didn't you?
255
00:10:04,691 --> 00:10:06,649
I sure did.
256
00:10:06,693 --> 00:10:09,260
Oh, thank you so much!Look!
257
00:10:09,304 --> 00:10:11,306
Look! Look, look at my...
[grunts]
258
00:10:11,349 --> 00:10:13,569
Look at my bag!
259
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:15,266
No need to say anything.
260
00:10:15,310 --> 00:10:17,442
That look on your face is
thanks enough.
261
00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:32,414
Look at her.
262
00:10:32,457 --> 00:10:34,764
She's so smooth and sexy.
263
00:10:34,808 --> 00:10:36,113
Just like me.
264
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,770
I'm gonna call her Burkina.
265
00:10:41,945 --> 00:10:44,469
You know, I-I'm gonna need
a special place in my closet.
266
00:10:44,513 --> 00:10:46,950
Boys, come help me
clean out my closet.
267
00:10:46,994 --> 00:10:49,083
And part of your dad's, too.
268
00:10:49,126 --> 00:10:51,651
[vocalizing]
269
00:10:54,741 --> 00:10:56,743
Curtis.
270
00:10:56,786 --> 00:10:58,440
Let me stop you right there.
271
00:10:58,483 --> 00:11:00,050
You're welcome.
272
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:03,532
I'm "welcome"?
273
00:11:03,575 --> 00:11:06,404
You just made me look like
a chump in front of my wife.
274
00:11:06,448 --> 00:11:08,363
What did I do?
I just bought Tina
275
00:11:08,406 --> 00:11:10,626
a bag she wanted.
I did you a favor.
276
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:12,497
I didn't need a favor,
all right?
277
00:11:12,541 --> 00:11:14,456
I was gonna buy that bag myself.
278
00:11:14,499 --> 00:11:16,676
Yeah, but not
for another three years.
279
00:11:16,719 --> 00:11:18,808
I saved you all that
time and money.
280
00:11:18,852 --> 00:11:20,941
Did you see the happy look
she gave me?
281
00:11:20,984 --> 00:11:22,943
Yes.
282
00:11:22,986 --> 00:11:24,640
I saw the look.
283
00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:25,989
That was the look
I was supposed to get.
284
00:11:26,033 --> 00:11:27,469
You stole my look!
285
00:11:27,512 --> 00:11:30,167
I'm rich-- I don't got to steal.
286
00:11:31,778 --> 00:11:34,737
Curtis, me buying her that purse
287
00:11:34,781 --> 00:11:36,652
was important to me, all right?
288
00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:38,741
It was a symbol
of my love for her.
289
00:11:38,785 --> 00:11:40,003
That's beautiful.
290
00:11:40,047 --> 00:11:41,744
So we did it!
291
00:11:41,788 --> 00:11:44,399
See, you just don't get it.
292
00:11:44,442 --> 00:11:47,010
You think you can just always
slide in here and buy folks.
293
00:11:47,054 --> 00:11:50,013
Well, you can't buy
my family and friends.
294
00:11:50,057 --> 00:11:52,059
Where is it?
Where's Burkina?
295
00:11:52,102 --> 00:11:54,670
Right here!
She's right here, oh, my God!Oh, my God!
296
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:56,933
It's the most beautiful
thing I've ever seen!Isn't it gorgeous?
297
00:11:56,977 --> 00:11:58,630
Ladies? Ladies!
298
00:11:58,674 --> 00:12:00,676
Please, I'm trying
to make a point here.
299
00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:05,333
Oh, you made your point.
300
00:12:05,376 --> 00:12:07,901
Loud and clear.
301
00:12:17,824 --> 00:12:20,478
You know, with a little bit
of distance, I can see
302
00:12:20,522 --> 00:12:22,524
that it's time
to let go of some stuff.
303
00:12:22,567 --> 00:12:24,004
Yes, it is.
304
00:12:24,047 --> 00:12:26,006
And, honey, I am really
proud of you.
305
00:12:26,049 --> 00:12:28,008
We are gonna feel
so much better
306
00:12:28,051 --> 00:12:30,401
after purging all your junk
we don't need.
307
00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:34,492
[gasps]
Oh...
308
00:12:34,536 --> 00:12:36,843
Welcome to Xanadu.
309
00:12:36,886 --> 00:12:38,801
Everything has been put away.
310
00:12:38,845 --> 00:12:40,847
And you've been Tyler-ed.
311
00:12:41,891 --> 00:12:43,501
Is it just me,
312
00:12:43,545 --> 00:12:45,416
or does
this room seem larger?
313
00:12:45,460 --> 00:12:47,418
Yeah, it's nice, uh...
314
00:12:47,462 --> 00:12:49,638
[chuckles]
What's with the bags?
315
00:12:49,681 --> 00:12:51,683
I've organized your essentials.
316
00:12:51,727 --> 00:12:54,034
And what's in these bags
is non-essential.
317
00:12:54,077 --> 00:12:56,819
Dave, I know
this is gonna be hard,
318
00:12:56,863 --> 00:12:58,778
but you're just gonna have
to let go of some things
319
00:12:58,821 --> 00:13:00,736
we don't need, like this.
320
00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:03,826
[gasps] What in the fluff
and fold have you done?!
321
00:13:07,003 --> 00:13:08,831
This isn't trash.
322
00:13:08,875 --> 00:13:11,312
These are
all my pageant dresses.
323
00:13:11,355 --> 00:13:13,053
Yes,
your ancient pageantry items
324
00:13:13,096 --> 00:13:15,316
were taking up space
in your closet.
325
00:13:15,359 --> 00:13:17,884
If by "taking up space,"
326
00:13:17,927 --> 00:13:21,409
you mean "lovingly stored
away from light."
327
00:13:23,628 --> 00:13:25,674
Now, Gemma, I know
this is gonna...
328
00:13:25,717 --> 00:13:28,329
Stay out of this, Dave!Look...
329
00:13:28,372 --> 00:13:30,722
I know it's difficult,
but as I say on my show,
330
00:13:30,766 --> 00:13:33,421
"If it's covered in dust,
saying toodle-oo is a must."
331
00:13:33,464 --> 00:13:35,945
[gasps]
The only thing non-essential
332
00:13:35,989 --> 00:13:38,556
around here is you,
Harry Poppins.
333
00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:40,558
Get out of my house.
334
00:13:40,602 --> 00:13:42,038
[Brooklyn accent]:
Ah, you know what, lady?
335
00:13:42,082 --> 00:13:43,823
I knew doing
a side gig was a mistake.
336
00:13:44,954 --> 00:13:46,826
I don't need this.
337
00:13:48,044 --> 00:13:50,655
Hold on, uh...
what happened to your accent?
338
00:13:50,699 --> 00:13:52,353
It's an act, Columbo.
339
00:13:52,396 --> 00:13:54,877
Nobody wants to take cleaning
advice from a guy from Brooklyn.
340
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:04,060
You okay?
341
00:14:04,104 --> 00:14:06,802
I know some people
342
00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:08,804
think beauty pageants
are superficial,
343
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:11,807
but that prize money
helped me pay for college.
344
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:14,027
Plus, my mom spent hours
345
00:14:14,070 --> 00:14:16,638
sewing these dresses.
346
00:14:16,681 --> 00:14:18,683
They're also really pretty.
347
00:14:20,033 --> 00:14:22,687
I had no idea
these meant so much to you.
348
00:14:22,731 --> 00:14:25,342
I know it was my idea
to get rid of all this clutter,
349
00:14:25,386 --> 00:14:27,997
but there are just some things
I can't let go of.
350
00:14:28,041 --> 00:14:30,478
Look, it's like
my JNCO jeans.
351
00:14:30,521 --> 00:14:33,089
You know, when I first saw
them in Miller's Outpost,
352
00:14:33,133 --> 00:14:35,831
I was, I was...
oh, my gosh.
353
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:38,138
I had to have them.
354
00:14:40,923 --> 00:14:42,838
But, you know, that's a
story for another time.Yeah, mm-hmm.
355
00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:44,753
This is about your dresses.Yeah.
356
00:14:47,625 --> 00:14:49,584
Oh, hey, Calvin.
357
00:14:49,627 --> 00:14:52,761
Want some snow shoes
or a laser disc player?
358
00:14:53,805 --> 00:14:55,982
No and hell no.
359
00:14:56,025 --> 00:14:57,984
It's the 21st century, Dave.
360
00:14:59,463 --> 00:15:00,900
What are you doing out here?
361
00:15:00,943 --> 00:15:02,902
Eh, just trying
to chill out.
362
00:15:02,945 --> 00:15:06,557
Curtis bought Tina
that purse I've been saving for.
363
00:15:06,601 --> 00:15:08,864
I've never seen her
so happy.
364
00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:10,866
That made me so mad.
365
00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:14,348
Well, I'm sorry.
366
00:15:14,391 --> 00:15:16,567
I guess that lottery
money changed him.
367
00:15:16,611 --> 00:15:19,353
No, he's always been
like that.
368
00:15:19,396 --> 00:15:21,659
When we were younger, I'd be
hanging out with my friends,
369
00:15:21,703 --> 00:15:24,445
Curtis would pop up,
and give them all candy.
370
00:15:24,488 --> 00:15:27,056
He was everybody's favorite
until the candy ran out.
371
00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:30,407
Then they all come running back
to me with their blue tongues.
372
00:15:34,455 --> 00:15:36,718
Well, it sounds
like the same kid
373
00:15:36,761 --> 00:15:38,850
just with a bigger
bank account.
374
00:15:38,894 --> 00:15:40,940
Well, he's not a kid.
375
00:15:40,983 --> 00:15:43,333
He's a grown man.
376
00:15:43,377 --> 00:15:44,856
Yeah, but, you know,
377
00:15:44,900 --> 00:15:47,642
wanting to be liked
never goes away.
378
00:15:47,685 --> 00:15:48,904
Hmm.
379
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:50,732
Yeah, I guess so.
380
00:15:50,775 --> 00:15:53,517
Well, damn, Dave,
you just helped me
381
00:15:53,561 --> 00:15:56,564
understand my little brother
better than I ever have before.
382
00:15:56,607 --> 00:15:58,914
Thanks, man.Well, you're welcome.
383
00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:01,438
Hey, are you sure you don't
want this laser disc player?
384
00:16:01,482 --> 00:16:03,527
You know,
Top Gunis stuck inside.
385
00:16:03,571 --> 00:16:06,313
Sorry, Goose, but I've lost
that loving feeling.
386
00:16:09,925 --> 00:16:12,319
Dave, I told you I didn't
want to waste money
387
00:16:12,362 --> 00:16:15,104
putting our junk in an
overpriced storage unit.
388
00:16:17,628 --> 00:16:18,847
[gasps]
389
00:16:18,890 --> 00:16:21,589
Oh...
390
00:16:21,632 --> 00:16:23,025
So what do you think
391
00:16:23,069 --> 00:16:25,767
about the Gemma Johnson Museum?
392
00:16:25,810 --> 00:16:28,030
[gasps]
I love it!
393
00:16:28,074 --> 00:16:30,511
I do want to waste
money putting our junk
394
00:16:30,554 --> 00:16:33,775
in an overpriced
storage unit!
395
00:16:33,818 --> 00:16:36,473
Well, you know, we do have owe
Tyler some credit for rescuing
396
00:16:36,517 --> 00:16:38,693
these dresses
from the back of your closet.
397
00:16:38,736 --> 00:16:41,043
They should be in a place
where you can enjoy them.
398
00:16:41,087 --> 00:16:43,654
Oh.Plus the first month's rent
was only a dollar.
399
00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:47,571
Thank you so much.
400
00:16:47,615 --> 00:16:49,095
You are the sweetest.
401
00:16:49,138 --> 00:16:51,401
[gasps] And you got
all my favorites.
402
00:16:51,445 --> 00:16:52,837
Miss Hog Queen.
403
00:16:52,881 --> 00:16:54,535
Miss Freshwater Trout.
404
00:16:58,408 --> 00:17:00,106
Wait a minute,
are those your raver jeans?
405
00:17:00,149 --> 00:17:02,717
Oh, yeah,
that's a special exhibit.
406
00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:05,024
On loan from
the Dave Johnson collection.
407
00:17:08,070 --> 00:17:10,420
Yes! There we go, there we go.
408
00:17:10,464 --> 00:17:11,769
Booyah!
409
00:17:11,813 --> 00:17:14,337
You're a joke.
Pay up, sucker.
410
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:18,994
Who's next?Me.
411
00:17:20,430 --> 00:17:22,041
How'd you find me?
412
00:17:22,084 --> 00:17:24,086
Wasn't that hard.
413
00:17:24,130 --> 00:17:26,654
I mean, you would always come
here whenever you got upset.
414
00:17:26,697 --> 00:17:28,699
Come on, man,
let's go.
415
00:17:28,743 --> 00:17:31,485
First off the block.
416
00:17:31,528 --> 00:17:33,704
Yeah,
right into a wall.Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
417
00:17:33,748 --> 00:17:35,619
Yes, yes, yes.
418
00:17:35,663 --> 00:17:37,012
I'm on that corner, baby...Yes...
419
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:38,970
Whoa! Whoa!
No, no, no, no!
No, no, no!
420
00:17:39,014 --> 00:17:40,972
No! Yes, yes!
421
00:17:41,016 --> 00:17:42,496
Yeah!
422
00:17:42,539 --> 00:17:45,325
Watch out, truck!Dang it!
423
00:17:45,368 --> 00:17:46,848
How'd we both come in third?
424
00:17:51,026 --> 00:17:52,941
Hey, look, Curtis.
425
00:17:52,984 --> 00:17:55,335
I know you thought
you were doing me a solid
426
00:17:55,378 --> 00:17:57,076
when you bought Tina
that purse.
427
00:17:58,120 --> 00:18:01,254
All right? It-it's your way
of expressing love and...
428
00:18:01,297 --> 00:18:03,691
it's okay for a rich man
like yourself, but for me,
429
00:18:03,734 --> 00:18:05,910
it takes a lot of sacrifice.
430
00:18:05,954 --> 00:18:08,870
I spent a lot of late nights
in that shop
431
00:18:08,913 --> 00:18:12,003
fixing cars-- hell,
I even gave up my NFL package.
432
00:18:12,047 --> 00:18:15,920
That's how much I wanted
to buy that purse for Tina.
433
00:18:17,008 --> 00:18:19,881
Wow, I never thought
of it like that.
434
00:18:19,924 --> 00:18:22,579
And you were right.
435
00:18:22,623 --> 00:18:25,887
I do use my money to
get people to like me.
436
00:18:25,930 --> 00:18:28,281
Look, money doesn't
make people like you.
437
00:18:28,324 --> 00:18:30,761
Yeah, well, I got 100 mil
that says you wrong.
438
00:18:32,067 --> 00:18:34,330
See, that's your problem.
439
00:18:34,374 --> 00:18:35,897
Just because you received it,
440
00:18:35,940 --> 00:18:38,291
doesn't mean
that you achieved it.
441
00:18:38,334 --> 00:18:40,380
Respect isn't bought.
442
00:18:40,423 --> 00:18:41,946
It's earned.
443
00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:45,559
You sound like my
team of therapists.
444
00:18:45,602 --> 00:18:47,387
[chuckles softly]
445
00:18:47,430 --> 00:18:49,563
You know,
the right kind of people?
446
00:18:49,606 --> 00:18:51,956
They'll always
love you for you.
447
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:54,916
Which reminds me,
448
00:18:54,959 --> 00:18:57,353
whenever you're ready
to start dating again,
449
00:18:57,397 --> 00:18:59,747
would you please take
"I hit the Super Powerball"
450
00:18:59,790 --> 00:19:01,401
off your Tinder profile?
451
00:19:01,444 --> 00:19:04,360
[laughs]
All right.
452
00:19:04,404 --> 00:19:06,319
I guess I'm gonna have to put
something corny on there like,
453
00:19:06,362 --> 00:19:09,104
"I like rom coms and
long walks to the bank."
454
00:19:10,453 --> 00:19:13,587
Okay, you know what,
we gonna keep working on that.
455
00:19:13,630 --> 00:19:15,893
See, Cal?
456
00:19:15,937 --> 00:19:17,982
This is why
I came home, man.
457
00:19:19,506 --> 00:19:21,943
You always know how
to pick me up, kid.
458
00:19:21,986 --> 00:19:24,424
And it's free of charge.
459
00:19:24,467 --> 00:19:26,295
All right, man, come on,
let's get this thing started.
460
00:19:26,339 --> 00:19:27,688
So I can beat your ass
on this motorcycle.
461
00:19:27,731 --> 00:19:30,256
You the one that's gonna
get beat down.
All right.
462
00:19:30,299 --> 00:19:31,431
Cal?
463
00:19:31,474 --> 00:19:32,606
Sorry about the purse.
464
00:19:32,649 --> 00:19:33,911
I'll take it back.
465
00:19:33,955 --> 00:19:36,392
[scoffs]
Good luck with that.
466
00:19:36,436 --> 00:19:39,526
Tina sleeps with that thing
handcuffed to her wrist.
467
00:19:40,918 --> 00:19:43,530
And I also bought you something
to make up for everything.
468
00:19:43,573 --> 00:19:45,532
Hey, Curtis.
469
00:19:45,575 --> 00:19:47,795
I told you, man,
I love you for you.
470
00:19:47,838 --> 00:19:49,971
I don't need anything.
471
00:19:50,014 --> 00:19:52,800
Cool, I'll just take
back the Ferrari.
472
00:19:52,843 --> 00:19:55,542
"Ferrari"?
473
00:19:55,585 --> 00:19:58,022
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
474
00:19:58,066 --> 00:20:00,808
Look, man,
I can't accept that,
475
00:20:00,851 --> 00:20:03,506
but we can take it
back to the dealership
476
00:20:03,550 --> 00:20:05,029
the long way.
477
00:20:06,466 --> 00:20:08,424
Come on, man, let's go,
let's get this...
478
00:20:08,468 --> 00:20:11,035
Some pretty riding,
pretty riding...
479
00:20:18,695 --> 00:20:20,480
All right, now, buckle up,
'cause we're about
480
00:20:20,523 --> 00:20:22,133
to make some
bad decisions.
481
00:20:22,177 --> 00:20:24,353
[chuckling]
And this time,
482
00:20:24,397 --> 00:20:26,921
Mama won't be around
to give us a whupping.
483
00:20:26,964 --> 00:20:29,184
[laughing][engine revs]
484
00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:31,404
[gears cranking]Wait.
485
00:20:31,447 --> 00:20:34,189
You spent $300,000
on this car
486
00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:35,973
and you don't know
how to drive it?
487
00:20:36,017 --> 00:20:37,497
That's because
my big brother never
488
00:20:37,540 --> 00:20:39,281
taught me how to drive stick.
489
00:20:39,325 --> 00:20:40,543
Oh, okay.
490
00:20:40,587 --> 00:20:42,458
So that's on me, all right.
491
00:20:42,502 --> 00:20:45,287
Well, I'm gonna teach you now.
First...
492
00:20:45,331 --> 00:20:47,028
you got to ease up off
the clutch and give it some gas
493
00:20:47,071 --> 00:20:49,422
at the same time.
Let me check you out.
494
00:20:49,465 --> 00:20:50,945
Okay, like this?
495
00:20:50,988 --> 00:20:52,512
[both scream]
496
00:20:52,555 --> 00:20:54,427
CURTIS:
I'm doing it, I'm doing it!
497
00:20:54,470 --> 00:20:57,256
CALVIN:
Yeah, but you're
on the sidewalk doing it!
498
00:20:57,299 --> 00:20:58,518
CURTIS:
Aah!
499
00:21:02,217 --> 00:21:10,181
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
500
00:21:10,225 --> 00:21:14,229
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
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