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1
00:00:15,058 --> 00:00:17,843
Calvin, this place is
a real hot spot.
2
00:00:17,887 --> 00:00:20,194
They're known for
their Rosé Lemonades.
3
00:00:21,499 --> 00:00:23,414
Did you order these
for our wives
4
00:00:23,458 --> 00:00:26,243
or is the cast of
Sex and the City on the way?
5
00:00:26,287 --> 00:00:28,637
No, Calvin, these are for us.
6
00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:30,204
I had a rough day
at work today.
7
00:00:30,247 --> 00:00:32,162
We are about to get
sorority girl wasted.
8
00:00:33,163 --> 00:00:36,079
Nobody's getting wasted
off this Kool-Aid.
9
00:00:36,123 --> 00:00:37,298
Whoa.
10
00:00:38,342 --> 00:00:40,431
Oh, my God.
11
00:00:40,475 --> 00:00:43,347
Take my keys.
I, like, can't drive.
12
00:00:45,393 --> 00:00:46,524
Calvin, look.
13
00:00:46,568 --> 00:00:48,961
It's Jerome Bettis.
14
00:00:49,005 --> 00:00:50,920
He's an NFL legend,
and he's just sitting there
15
00:00:50,963 --> 00:00:53,009
drinking a Rosé Lemonade.
16
00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:54,663
Look at that.
17
00:00:54,706 --> 00:00:57,057
Stars,
they're just like us.
18
00:00:58,058 --> 00:01:01,104
Dave, that is not Jerome Bettis.
19
00:01:03,106 --> 00:01:04,934
Oh, my God, I was right.
That's Jerome Bettis.
20
00:01:04,977 --> 00:01:06,240
I'll be right back.
21
00:01:08,285 --> 00:01:09,504
Jerome Bettis?
22
00:01:09,547 --> 00:01:11,158
My man!
23
00:01:11,201 --> 00:01:12,681
Hey, look.
You don't know me,
24
00:01:12,724 --> 00:01:15,162
but I'm married to your
old friend, Tina Plummer.
25
00:01:15,205 --> 00:01:16,728
Lil' Tee Tee?
26
00:01:16,772 --> 00:01:19,383
Small world!
How is she?
27
00:01:19,427 --> 00:01:21,342
Oh, well,
she's Big Tee Tee now.
28
00:01:22,691 --> 00:01:23,866
Not... not big big.
29
00:01:23,909 --> 00:01:26,956
But old.
But not old old.
30
00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:30,090
She's fine.
31
00:01:30,133 --> 00:01:31,308
Jerome?
32
00:01:31,352 --> 00:01:32,483
Dave Johnson.
33
00:01:32,527 --> 00:01:33,484
That's on the house.
34
00:01:33,528 --> 00:01:35,399
Looks like we, uh,
35
00:01:35,443 --> 00:01:37,358
all have the same taste buds.
36
00:01:37,401 --> 00:01:40,143
Careful, these lemonades
sneak up on you.
37
00:01:40,187 --> 00:01:42,102
Yeah, but, uh,
38
00:01:42,145 --> 00:01:44,974
athletes like us can
handle our juice, right?
39
00:01:46,671 --> 00:01:49,109
How much you bench? 185?
40
00:01:50,327 --> 00:01:51,937
In the fifth grade.
41
00:01:53,417 --> 00:01:54,984
Hey, guys.
42
00:01:55,027 --> 00:01:56,203
Jerome?
43
00:01:56,246 --> 00:01:59,597
If it isn't Lil' Tee
Tee from the LBC?
44
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:02,513
Romy, Romy.
45
00:02:02,557 --> 00:02:03,862
Well, you know
I'm straight out of Compton.
46
00:02:03,906 --> 00:02:05,995
- You've seen the movie.
- Yeah, yeah.
47
00:02:06,038 --> 00:02:07,866
Calvin...
48
00:02:07,910 --> 00:02:09,520
Hey, Gemma.
Dave Johnson.
49
00:02:09,564 --> 00:02:11,174
Kalamazoo born and raised.
50
00:02:11,218 --> 00:02:12,349
Okay.
51
00:02:12,393 --> 00:02:13,481
I guess I'm driving.
52
00:02:13,524 --> 00:02:14,569
Oh, wow.
53
00:02:14,612 --> 00:02:16,919
So, uh, what are you doing here?
54
00:02:16,962 --> 00:02:18,399
Well, I'm in
town on business.
55
00:02:18,442 --> 00:02:20,183
Uh, I've got a shoot over
at the Rose Bowl tomorrow.
56
00:02:20,227 --> 00:02:22,359
Oh.
Oh. You know,
that's by our house.
57
00:02:22,403 --> 00:02:24,796
Tina and I would love for you
to come over for dinner.
58
00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:26,798
Oh, well,
I'm sure Jerome is busy.
59
00:02:26,842 --> 00:02:29,714
Well, actually, I am
free tomorrow night.
60
00:02:29,758 --> 00:02:32,717
You know, room service--
it gets real old, real fast.
61
00:02:32,761 --> 00:02:34,415
- Ah.
- Well, there it is.
62
00:02:34,458 --> 00:02:36,417
Tomorrow night,
it's going down!
63
00:02:37,505 --> 00:02:39,420
Looks like we're
getting on The Bus!
64
00:02:39,463 --> 00:02:42,684
Next stop: Touchdown!
65
00:02:46,688 --> 00:02:49,734
Sorry, but my friend
is sorority girl wasted.
66
00:02:49,778 --> 00:02:51,693
Okay, that's enough for you,
Kelly-Jo.
67
00:02:51,736 --> 00:02:53,260
Come on.
68
00:03:02,225 --> 00:03:05,924
Ooh, Jerome was so cute
in his Geico ad.
69
00:03:05,968 --> 00:03:09,624
Mm, back in the day, I would
have let him bundle my policies.
70
00:03:11,843 --> 00:03:13,193
Aw, why didn't you two date?
71
00:03:13,236 --> 00:03:14,281
Oh, we did.
72
00:03:15,499 --> 00:03:17,022
Every summer
73
00:03:17,066 --> 00:03:19,895
in high school, I would
visit my granny in Detroit.
74
00:03:19,938 --> 00:03:22,245
So I met Jerome
in my senior year,
75
00:03:22,289 --> 00:03:25,509
and, uh, you know, we had
a cute little teenage romance.
76
00:03:25,553 --> 00:03:27,555
Aw. Does Calvin know?
77
00:03:27,598 --> 00:03:30,471
No. I would've told him,
but when we started dating,
78
00:03:30,514 --> 00:03:33,517
he had a "Don't Ask, Leave
the Past in the Past" rule.
79
00:03:33,561 --> 00:03:35,215
Ah.
80
00:03:35,258 --> 00:03:36,694
When we started dating,
81
00:03:36,738 --> 00:03:39,262
Dave had
a "Do Ask, Do Tell" rule.
82
00:03:39,306 --> 00:03:42,091
He even told me his first crush
was Nancy Reagan.
83
00:03:43,527 --> 00:03:45,050
And yet you still married him.
84
00:03:45,094 --> 00:03:47,270
Mm-hmm.
85
00:03:47,314 --> 00:03:50,099
Eventually, though, his honesty
policy grew on me.
86
00:03:50,142 --> 00:03:52,144
He's the ultimate open book.
87
00:03:52,188 --> 00:03:53,972
He'll tell anybody anything.
88
00:03:54,016 --> 00:03:55,060
Hmm.
Watch.
89
00:03:55,104 --> 00:03:57,454
Dave?
90
00:03:57,498 --> 00:03:58,673
Yes, sweetie?
91
00:03:58,716 --> 00:04:00,283
How many people
have you slept with?
92
00:04:00,327 --> 00:04:01,676
Six.
Three.
93
00:04:03,373 --> 00:04:05,288
Six? You told me
it was three.
94
00:04:05,332 --> 00:04:06,463
Did I?
95
00:04:06,507 --> 00:04:09,466
Wait, did you lie
about your number?
96
00:04:09,510 --> 00:04:11,338
Hmm.
97
00:04:11,381 --> 00:04:12,730
Did I?
98
00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:16,691
That's the same
voice you had
99
00:04:16,734 --> 00:04:19,694
when I asked you if you
dinged my car last week.
100
00:04:19,737 --> 00:04:21,086
Is it?
101
00:04:21,130 --> 00:04:23,219
Yes, it is.
102
00:04:27,354 --> 00:04:30,313
All right, you got it,
- little man?
- Yeah, I got it.
103
00:04:30,357 --> 00:04:32,707
- I said, you got it, little man?
- Yeah, I got it!
104
00:04:32,750 --> 00:04:34,709
All right.
One, two, three.
105
00:04:34,752 --> 00:04:36,624
Yeah, I don't got it.
106
00:04:36,667 --> 00:04:37,886
D'oh!
107
00:04:39,235 --> 00:04:40,323
Hey, Marty, how come you're not
108
00:04:40,367 --> 00:04:41,411
helping us get ready
for Poker Night?
109
00:04:41,455 --> 00:04:42,847
Well, I am, man.
110
00:04:42,891 --> 00:04:44,588
I'm busy making snacks.
111
00:04:44,632 --> 00:04:46,982
Uh, yeah, that'll be
three large pizzas.
112
00:04:47,025 --> 00:04:48,418
Ooh, and some
mozzarella sticks.
113
00:04:48,462 --> 00:04:51,203
Okay, yeah, and-and two dozen
mozzarella sticks.
114
00:04:51,247 --> 00:04:52,988
Yeah, Malcolm,
give me your debit card.
115
00:04:53,031 --> 00:04:54,424
What?
116
00:04:54,468 --> 00:04:56,339
I didn't budget
for no damn mozzarella sticks.
117
00:04:58,341 --> 00:05:00,343
And yet you got enough money
in your budget
118
00:05:00,387 --> 00:05:01,823
for a Captain Kirk Snuggie.
119
00:05:01,866 --> 00:05:03,346
It was a collector's edition.
120
00:05:03,390 --> 00:05:04,652
That's an investment.
121
00:05:07,176 --> 00:05:09,178
Man, playing poker is
so much more funner
122
00:05:09,221 --> 00:05:10,658
than doing my English homework.
123
00:05:10,701 --> 00:05:12,355
More funner?
124
00:05:12,399 --> 00:05:13,835
Yeah, you might want
to try "more harder"
125
00:05:13,878 --> 00:05:15,097
on that homework, brother.
126
00:05:16,751 --> 00:05:17,969
And, yeah, uh, listen.
127
00:05:18,013 --> 00:05:19,928
We appreciate you
helping us set up,
128
00:05:19,971 --> 00:05:21,451
but tonight's for adults only.
129
00:05:21,495 --> 00:05:22,974
I'm sorry, Grover.
130
00:05:23,018 --> 00:05:24,498
Aw, come on.
131
00:05:24,541 --> 00:05:26,587
We got mozzarella sticks coming.
132
00:05:26,630 --> 00:05:28,980
Ooh. Hey, you know what?
I'll save you some.
133
00:05:29,024 --> 00:05:30,460
Fine.
134
00:05:30,504 --> 00:05:33,071
Didn't want to come
to your awesome party anyway.
135
00:05:36,684 --> 00:05:37,989
Look, oh, well.
136
00:05:38,033 --> 00:05:39,469
These poker nights can get
kind of wild, Marty.
137
00:05:39,513 --> 00:05:41,471
It's no place for kids.
138
00:05:41,515 --> 00:05:43,212
And maybe not for you, either.
139
00:05:43,255 --> 00:05:45,345
Yeah.
Last time, you lost $100.
140
00:05:45,388 --> 00:05:47,564
Yeah, but this time,
I'm prepared.
141
00:05:47,608 --> 00:05:49,174
I've created a foolproof system
142
00:05:49,218 --> 00:05:51,351
that calculates the odds
by running every permutation
143
00:05:51,394 --> 00:05:55,267
of any given hand to create
an advantage in my favor.
144
00:05:55,311 --> 00:05:56,791
So, you're counting cards?
145
00:05:56,834 --> 00:05:58,401
Yeah, basically.
146
00:06:00,969 --> 00:06:02,231
It's, it's...
147
00:06:02,274 --> 00:06:03,537
Hey, dude, hey.
What's up, man?
148
00:06:03,580 --> 00:06:05,321
- Good morning.
- Hey! Sidney!
Yo, yo, yo,
149
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:06,496
yo, yo.
150
00:06:06,540 --> 00:06:08,019
Hey, this is my cousin,
Whitney.
151
00:06:08,063 --> 00:06:09,586
She likes poker,
so I brought her.
152
00:06:09,630 --> 00:06:11,066
No, I brought you.
153
00:06:11,109 --> 00:06:12,197
I'm the one
with the car.
154
00:06:12,241 --> 00:06:13,460
Oh.
155
00:06:13,503 --> 00:06:15,026
Why are you always telling
family business?
156
00:06:15,070 --> 00:06:16,201
Why you always broke?
157
00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:19,553
Okay.
158
00:06:19,596 --> 00:06:21,076
Well, I got to warn you,
Whitney,
159
00:06:21,119 --> 00:06:23,165
I have a math-based system
that tells me
160
00:06:23,208 --> 00:06:24,427
there's an 86% chance
161
00:06:24,471 --> 00:06:26,081
that I'm going to take
93% of your money.
162
00:06:26,124 --> 00:06:28,779
Well, I have a system that
tells me you're 100% corny.
163
00:06:28,823 --> 00:06:30,651
- What?
- It's called my eyes.
164
00:06:32,696 --> 00:06:35,090
I like her. Yeah, she can stay.
165
00:06:38,876 --> 00:06:40,661
Hey. Oh, yeah.
166
00:06:40,704 --> 00:06:41,836
Bam!
167
00:06:41,879 --> 00:06:44,316
1984 Pasadena High School.
168
00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:46,318
First Team
All Conference.
169
00:06:46,362 --> 00:06:48,320
Jerome's gonna feel
a lot more comfortable
170
00:06:48,364 --> 00:06:50,758
knowing he's not
the only baller in the house.
171
00:06:52,629 --> 00:06:54,109
Well, I guess
172
00:06:54,152 --> 00:06:57,025
everyone can reach
around your trophy
173
00:06:57,068 --> 00:06:58,679
to get to my artichoke dip.
174
00:06:58,722 --> 00:07:00,811
Or we can
175
00:07:00,855 --> 00:07:03,292
just move your
artichoke dip altogether.
176
00:07:06,991 --> 00:07:10,081
Uh, guys, so excited to take
a picture with The Bus
177
00:07:10,125 --> 00:07:11,779
I changed three times.
178
00:07:11,822 --> 00:07:14,912
Huh. Are you sure
it wasn't six times?
179
00:07:14,956 --> 00:07:15,913
Hmm.
180
00:07:15,957 --> 00:07:17,915
Was it?
181
00:07:19,830 --> 00:07:21,397
Romy! Welcome.
182
00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:22,877
- My man!
- My man!
183
00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:24,748
My man!
My man!
184
00:07:24,792 --> 00:07:25,836
My mickety, mickety...
185
00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:27,316
All right,
who-who wants drinks?
186
00:07:27,359 --> 00:07:28,317
My man?
187
00:07:31,102 --> 00:07:32,582
Do I smell artichoke dip?
188
00:07:32,626 --> 00:07:34,105
My man!
189
00:07:40,503 --> 00:07:42,462
Seven.
190
00:07:44,028 --> 00:07:45,377
Just quit, Marty.
191
00:07:45,421 --> 00:07:47,118
You've already lost
all your poker money.
192
00:07:47,162 --> 00:07:48,424
Do not lose your pride.
193
00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:50,034
What? I-- No!
I can't be losing.
194
00:07:50,078 --> 00:07:52,384
I am a damn rocket scientist!
195
00:07:52,428 --> 00:07:54,561
Look, Marty,
there's no shame in quitting.
196
00:07:54,604 --> 00:07:57,085
I do it with jobs
all the time.
197
00:07:57,128 --> 00:07:59,000
I've won five hands.
198
00:07:59,043 --> 00:08:00,175
And you've won zero.
199
00:08:00,218 --> 00:08:01,959
I'm no rocket scientist,
200
00:08:02,003 --> 00:08:03,874
but it sounds like you
need to call Houston.
201
00:08:03,918 --> 00:08:06,268
'Cause you got
a problem.
202
00:08:06,311 --> 00:08:07,530
Okay.
203
00:08:07,574 --> 00:08:09,663
I'll match all your chips.
204
00:08:09,706 --> 00:08:11,055
My debit card.
205
00:08:11,099 --> 00:08:12,579
Whoa, whoa, wait.
206
00:08:12,622 --> 00:08:14,232
We haven't paid rent yet.
What about your budget?
207
00:08:14,276 --> 00:08:15,495
Mind your own budget!
208
00:08:16,757 --> 00:08:18,367
I'm also putting
in my Apple Watch.
209
00:08:19,455 --> 00:08:22,545
And I raise you
my last chip.
210
00:08:22,589 --> 00:08:24,547
Okay.
211
00:08:24,591 --> 00:08:26,549
I call.
212
00:08:29,465 --> 00:08:31,859
Full house!
King, seven.
213
00:08:31,902 --> 00:08:33,251
Math wins again.
214
00:08:33,295 --> 00:08:35,036
Or, perhaps, for the first time.
215
00:08:35,079 --> 00:08:36,559
Uh, not so fast.
216
00:08:36,603 --> 00:08:39,736
According to my calculations,
and this equation,
217
00:08:39,780 --> 00:08:41,608
"X" equals "you lose."
218
00:08:41,651 --> 00:08:43,044
What?
219
00:08:43,087 --> 00:08:44,393
Four queens.
220
00:08:44,436 --> 00:08:46,569
Oh...
221
00:08:46,613 --> 00:08:48,615
How is this possible,
222
00:08:48,658 --> 00:08:50,704
that I'm losing to somebody
related to Trey?
223
00:08:50,747 --> 00:08:53,228
But, honestly,
I'm surprised too. That's...
224
00:08:53,271 --> 00:08:54,534
Here you go, cuz.
225
00:08:54,577 --> 00:08:55,970
Thank you.
226
00:08:56,013 --> 00:08:57,493
Oh, look. Marty,
227
00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:59,060
my new Apple Watch says
it's time for you to breathe.
228
00:09:00,235 --> 00:09:01,715
My mama gave me that watch.
229
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:09,070
All right. I know they always
called you The Bus,
230
00:09:09,113 --> 00:09:10,462
but back in the day,
231
00:09:10,506 --> 00:09:12,552
they called me The Truck.
232
00:09:12,595 --> 00:09:14,858
'cause I used to haul ass
into the end zone.
233
00:09:14,902 --> 00:09:17,078
Ha! My man!
My man.
234
00:09:17,121 --> 00:09:18,166
Ha-ha. My man!
235
00:09:18,209 --> 00:09:20,037
My m-- Dave, no.
236
00:09:24,389 --> 00:09:27,741
Hey, we're outta beer
and I'm outta money.
237
00:09:27,784 --> 00:09:30,570
And Mom wasn't lying
about knowing Jerome Bettis.
238
00:09:30,613 --> 00:09:31,658
What?
239
00:09:31,701 --> 00:09:34,095
Yeah, well, Jerome
and I go way back
240
00:09:34,138 --> 00:09:36,227
to a time when Amazon
was just a jungle.
241
00:09:38,012 --> 00:09:40,057
Jerome, what was my mama
like as a kid?
242
00:09:40,101 --> 00:09:41,102
Lil' Tee Tee?
243
00:09:41,145 --> 00:09:42,625
She was a lot of fun.
244
00:09:42,669 --> 00:09:44,148
She was the best skater
in our crew.
245
00:09:44,192 --> 00:09:45,367
Except for me, of course.
246
00:09:45,410 --> 00:09:47,543
Man, please. You
know, it's funny
247
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:49,240
how you were selling Geico,
248
00:09:49,284 --> 00:09:51,112
but whenever you got on wheels,
249
00:09:51,155 --> 00:09:52,635
your ass would crash.
250
00:09:54,028 --> 00:09:55,812
You always did talk
a lot of trash.
251
00:09:55,856 --> 00:09:57,074
Yeah, sure.
252
00:09:57,118 --> 00:10:00,077
And I remember
you loved the movies,
253
00:10:00,121 --> 00:10:03,080
That's why we spent a lot
of time at the local drive-in.
254
00:10:04,125 --> 00:10:05,561
Drive-in?
255
00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:06,910
That requires a car.
256
00:10:06,954 --> 00:10:08,651
With you two alone in it.
257
00:10:08,695 --> 00:10:10,261
Yeah. And-and my car
was so small,
258
00:10:10,305 --> 00:10:13,177
she was practically
sitting on my lap.
259
00:10:14,701 --> 00:10:16,006
E-Excuse me?
260
00:10:16,050 --> 00:10:18,879
Aw, it was like a,
like a summer romance.
261
00:10:18,922 --> 00:10:20,358
Like-- like Danny and Sandy.
262
00:10:20,402 --> 00:10:21,751
- Romance?
- Well--
263
00:10:21,795 --> 00:10:23,231
Grease!
We saw that together.
264
00:10:23,274 --> 00:10:25,973
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, and
Saturday Night Fever.
265
00:10:26,016 --> 00:10:27,975
It was a-a Travolta
double feature.
266
00:10:28,018 --> 00:10:29,237
Double feature?
267
00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:31,195
That's a awful lot
of lap sitting.
268
00:10:32,719 --> 00:10:34,024
Wait a minute.
269
00:10:34,068 --> 00:10:35,504
Y... You guys weren't
a couple, were you?
270
00:10:35,547 --> 00:10:36,940
No, no, no, no, no.
It was nothing like that.
271
00:10:36,984 --> 00:10:39,421
Uh, no, it was
just a teenage fling.
272
00:10:39,464 --> 00:10:41,684
Fling?
273
00:10:41,728 --> 00:10:43,120
My woman...
274
00:10:44,513 --> 00:10:46,036
...and my man?
275
00:10:47,603 --> 00:10:48,604
Oh.
276
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:49,649
Oh, man.
277
00:10:56,699 --> 00:10:58,658
- This was fun.
- Good seeing you, Romy.
278
00:10:58,701 --> 00:10:59,702
Next time
I'm in town,
279
00:10:59,746 --> 00:11:01,269
I'm taking you guys to dinner.
280
00:11:01,312 --> 00:11:03,097
- See you, Tee Tee.
- All right, now.
281
00:11:03,140 --> 00:11:04,272
Okay.
282
00:11:05,316 --> 00:11:06,927
I'm sure you've got
to get going, man.
283
00:11:06,970 --> 00:11:09,451
Got one of those
Hall of Fame meetings to get to.
284
00:11:09,494 --> 00:11:12,019
And get that yellow jacket out
of the dry cleaners, okay?
285
00:11:12,062 --> 00:11:13,411
So drive safe, my man.
286
00:11:13,455 --> 00:11:14,630
All right?
287
00:11:19,853 --> 00:11:22,029
Well, that was embarrassing.
288
00:11:22,072 --> 00:11:23,247
Well, yes, it was.
289
00:11:23,291 --> 00:11:24,988
You embarrassed
the hell out of me, Tina.
290
00:11:25,032 --> 00:11:27,077
I embarrassed you?
291
00:11:27,121 --> 00:11:29,689
You were the one
acting crazy tonight.
292
00:11:29,732 --> 00:11:30,951
Well, you would have, too,
293
00:11:30,994 --> 00:11:32,430
if you would've learned
what I just learned.
294
00:11:32,474 --> 00:11:34,084
I mean, who else did you date
295
00:11:34,128 --> 00:11:35,651
that you forgot
to mention?
296
00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:36,913
Barack Obama?
297
00:11:36,957 --> 00:11:38,262
Nelson Mandela?
298
00:11:38,306 --> 00:11:39,873
Ja Rule?
299
00:11:39,916 --> 00:11:41,918
I didn't forget
to mention anything.
300
00:11:41,962 --> 00:11:43,572
I was just following your
301
00:11:43,615 --> 00:11:47,010
"Don't Ask, Leave the Past
in the Past" rule.
302
00:11:47,054 --> 00:11:48,882
Well, if your past is
all up in your house
303
00:11:48,925 --> 00:11:50,927
eating your food,
then it's in the present.
304
00:11:50,971 --> 00:11:52,712
You think it's easy
305
00:11:52,755 --> 00:11:55,062
for me to hear about you
dating a famous athlete?
306
00:11:55,105 --> 00:11:59,109
You were the one who came up
with the "Don't Ask" rule.
307
00:11:59,153 --> 00:12:00,981
Look, and don't think
I didn't know
308
00:12:01,024 --> 00:12:03,635
you used to be
Mr. Player Player.
309
00:12:05,942 --> 00:12:07,988
But did I make
a big deal out of it?
310
00:12:08,031 --> 00:12:09,685
No, I did not.
311
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:12,122
Well, I didn't make a big deal
out of your past, either, Tina,
312
00:12:12,166 --> 00:12:14,603
mainly because
I didn't think you had one.
313
00:12:17,171 --> 00:12:18,738
Look at all this,
Calvin.
314
00:12:21,262 --> 00:12:23,655
Of course I had a past!
315
00:12:23,699 --> 00:12:25,788
What, you want me
to start naming names?
316
00:12:25,832 --> 00:12:27,137
Okay, let me just...Uh-uh.
317
00:12:27,181 --> 00:12:28,486
No, no, no.
See, now you're going too far.
318
00:12:28,530 --> 00:12:30,140
No, you're the one tripping
319
00:12:30,184 --> 00:12:32,490
over somebody that I went to
a movie with over 30 years ago,
320
00:12:32,534 --> 00:12:34,536
who you invited to dinner
321
00:12:34,579 --> 00:12:36,494
and then acted like a child.
322
00:12:36,538 --> 00:12:37,626
A child?
Yes.
323
00:12:37,669 --> 00:12:38,714
You know, nah, nah.
324
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:40,063
Don't try to put this
on me, Tina.
325
00:12:40,107 --> 00:12:41,195
You know what, Calvin?
326
00:12:41,238 --> 00:12:42,413
I don't have time for this.
327
00:12:42,457 --> 00:12:44,198
Well, I didn't have time
for it first.
328
00:12:44,241 --> 00:12:45,460
Well, good!
Good!
329
00:12:45,503 --> 00:12:46,896
- Good!
- Good!
330
00:12:48,289 --> 00:12:49,681
And we cancelling Geico!
331
00:12:58,125 --> 00:13:01,215
I brought you the traditional
husband peace offering.
332
00:13:01,258 --> 00:13:03,826
Traditionally, that's jewelry.
333
00:13:05,436 --> 00:13:07,264
But I'll take the pie anyway.
334
00:13:10,702 --> 00:13:12,792
Look...
335
00:13:12,835 --> 00:13:15,403
I know it was stupid
to lie about my number.
336
00:13:15,446 --> 00:13:17,144
We had just
started dating,
337
00:13:17,187 --> 00:13:18,798
and you were
a little weirded out
338
00:13:18,841 --> 00:13:20,495
about my
"open book" policy.
339
00:13:20,538 --> 00:13:22,366
You know, whenever we
would open my book,
340
00:13:22,410 --> 00:13:24,151
you wanted to
burn all the pages.
341
00:13:25,195 --> 00:13:29,199
No, I just really liked
the chapters about us.
342
00:13:29,243 --> 00:13:31,201
Exactly. And I didn't
want to hurt you
343
00:13:31,245 --> 00:13:34,030
with my typical
Dave "oversharing."
344
00:13:34,074 --> 00:13:36,206
Especially when it was
about all the women
345
00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:40,167
who turned me into, well,
the sexual animal I am today.
346
00:13:44,475 --> 00:13:46,173
An example of oversharing.
347
00:13:48,915 --> 00:13:52,179
I admit, I used to get
uncomfortable about your past.
348
00:13:52,222 --> 00:13:54,790
But I'm much more secure now
349
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,836
because of our
open-book policy.
350
00:13:56,879 --> 00:13:58,925
I'm just mad that you lied.
351
00:14:00,230 --> 00:14:01,536
I get that.
352
00:14:01,579 --> 00:14:03,320
And... and I'm sorry.
353
00:14:03,364 --> 00:14:04,887
Thank you.
354
00:14:04,931 --> 00:14:07,237
And while we're here,
you know, I did--
355
00:14:07,281 --> 00:14:10,110
to be totally
transparent-- remember
356
00:14:10,153 --> 00:14:11,938
a seventh girl.
357
00:14:11,981 --> 00:14:13,896
She's the one who
taught me to...
358
00:14:13,940 --> 00:14:15,593
Stop talking.
359
00:14:18,945 --> 00:14:22,774
Well, I should also be
totally transparent.
360
00:14:22,818 --> 00:14:25,516
I might've spent
some time in the Ozarks
361
00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:28,215
with Justin Timberlake.
362
00:14:29,956 --> 00:14:31,740
Let's just say
we were, uh,
363
00:14:31,783 --> 00:14:33,524
NSYNC.
364
00:14:38,399 --> 00:14:41,097
Okay.
365
00:14:41,141 --> 00:14:42,142
That's funny!
366
00:14:45,710 --> 00:14:47,321
Wait, for real? Justin?
367
00:14:49,236 --> 00:14:51,194
Gemma, I gotta know.
He's all over my playlist.
368
00:14:59,986 --> 00:15:01,117
Ah...Uh...
369
00:15:01,161 --> 00:15:02,597
Hey, Dad.
370
00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:04,077
Did I catch you
at a bad time?
371
00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:06,079
No, son. Never better.
372
00:15:06,122 --> 00:15:07,558
Good.
373
00:15:07,602 --> 00:15:08,777
Uh...
374
00:15:08,820 --> 00:15:10,170
I was a little embarrassed
375
00:15:10,213 --> 00:15:11,258
to bring this up in front of
Jerome Bettis, but...
376
00:15:11,301 --> 00:15:13,129
Don't say that name
in that house.
377
00:15:13,173 --> 00:15:15,827
Don't say that name
on this porch.
378
00:15:15,871 --> 00:15:17,655
Right.
379
00:15:17,699 --> 00:15:20,832
Well, see, I-I created
this poker system
380
00:15:20,876 --> 00:15:22,312
based on math, that, uh...
381
00:15:22,356 --> 00:15:24,314
All right.
How much did you lose?
382
00:15:24,358 --> 00:15:26,969
Let's just say I'd have to cash
out some Bitcoin to make rent.
383
00:15:27,013 --> 00:15:29,276
Oh, no, not your Bitcoin.
384
00:15:29,319 --> 00:15:31,582
I don't care. Pay me.
385
00:15:34,063 --> 00:15:35,717
Okay, all right.
386
00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:37,414
Quit playing.
I got your back, man.
387
00:15:37,458 --> 00:15:38,807
Oh. Thanks, Dad.
388
00:15:38,850 --> 00:15:40,330
But you're gonna have
to clean up this yard,
389
00:15:40,374 --> 00:15:42,898
wax the cars
and scrape off the grill.
390
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:44,334
Okay, all right.
391
00:15:44,378 --> 00:15:45,988
Fair enough. I respect that.
392
00:15:46,032 --> 00:15:48,295
You know,
I'm glad you're my dad, man.
393
00:15:48,338 --> 00:15:50,601
Even though I probably could
have been a famous athlete
394
00:15:50,645 --> 00:15:51,951
if Jerome Bettis
had been my father.
395
00:15:54,083 --> 00:15:55,867
Me, too, son.
396
00:15:55,911 --> 00:15:58,000
Even though
I could have been retired
397
00:15:58,044 --> 00:16:00,089
if Patrick Mahomes was my son.
398
00:16:03,919 --> 00:16:06,574
Hey, Calvin, I'm
returning your pie tin.
399
00:16:06,617 --> 00:16:08,054
How are you
and Tina doing?
400
00:16:08,097 --> 00:16:09,403
I don't know.
401
00:16:09,446 --> 00:16:12,232
Ask Romy Rome.
402
00:16:12,275 --> 00:16:14,016
So, you're still mad at her?
403
00:16:14,060 --> 00:16:16,497
Look, you just don't get over
something like that.
404
00:16:16,540 --> 00:16:18,281
The man is in
the Hall of Fame.
405
00:16:18,325 --> 00:16:20,457
Plus, I've napped
in his jersey.
406
00:16:23,678 --> 00:16:25,636
Okay, so you're
really mad.
407
00:16:27,638 --> 00:16:29,249
But you know what, you're right.
408
00:16:29,292 --> 00:16:31,729
In fact,
I'm still mad at Dave.
409
00:16:31,773 --> 00:16:33,688
Gemma, come on.
410
00:16:33,731 --> 00:16:36,212
Is the number
really that important?
411
00:16:36,256 --> 00:16:38,998
Yes! I'm not sure
I can ever forgive him.
412
00:16:40,303 --> 00:16:41,652
Okay. You know what?
413
00:16:41,696 --> 00:16:44,003
This sounds
a little extreme, so...
414
00:16:44,046 --> 00:16:45,700
tell me what's really going on.
415
00:16:45,743 --> 00:16:48,094
I can't stop thinking
about those other women.
416
00:16:48,137 --> 00:16:50,052
Well, that's why I created
417
00:16:50,096 --> 00:16:52,402
"Don't Ask,
Leave Your Past in the Past."
418
00:16:52,446 --> 00:16:56,145
Also known as "Don't Ask
or That's Yo Ass."
419
00:16:57,799 --> 00:17:00,193
I mean, I was
his eighth choice.
420
00:17:00,236 --> 00:17:02,673
I bet he'd love to leave
me for number seven.
421
00:17:02,717 --> 00:17:05,067
She's probably
some doctor type
422
00:17:05,111 --> 00:17:08,810
who's really good
at full-body exams...
423
00:17:08,853 --> 00:17:11,030
if you know
what I mean.
424
00:17:11,073 --> 00:17:12,988
I do.
425
00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:16,165
But that's not Dave.
426
00:17:16,209 --> 00:17:20,387
Dave is the guy that crocheted
us all mittens for Christmas.
427
00:17:22,606 --> 00:17:25,087
Look, Dave married you.
428
00:17:25,131 --> 00:17:26,871
He loves you.
429
00:17:26,915 --> 00:17:28,482
Those other women don't matter.
430
00:17:28,525 --> 00:17:30,658
You have nothing
to be insecure about.
431
00:17:30,701 --> 00:17:32,921
Do you really believe that?
432
00:17:32,964 --> 00:17:34,227
You're damn right I do.
433
00:17:35,358 --> 00:17:37,317
Then act like it.
434
00:17:40,189 --> 00:17:42,191
Ooh, mic drop.
435
00:17:44,237 --> 00:17:47,370
Oh, my God, I
cracked my screen.
436
00:17:49,416 --> 00:17:50,504
Hey, babe.
437
00:17:50,547 --> 00:17:52,549
I don't want to talk.
438
00:17:52,593 --> 00:17:56,118
Look, I was thinking that
I might owe you an apology.
439
00:17:57,554 --> 00:17:59,948
Keep talking.
440
00:17:59,991 --> 00:18:03,125
I'm sorry that I got jealous.
441
00:18:04,996 --> 00:18:06,433
What were you thinking?
442
00:18:06,476 --> 00:18:08,043
I don't know.
443
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:09,218
I guess I wasn't.
444
00:18:09,262 --> 00:18:10,654
I just...
445
00:18:10,698 --> 00:18:12,613
I got a little insecure that...
446
00:18:12,656 --> 00:18:14,484
I thought maybe you thought
447
00:18:14,528 --> 00:18:16,225
you made the wrong choice.
448
00:18:16,269 --> 00:18:18,009
Wrong choice?
449
00:18:18,053 --> 00:18:19,533
I chose The Truck.
450
00:18:19,576 --> 00:18:21,187
The Truck is built
for anything.
451
00:18:21,230 --> 00:18:23,406
Yeah, but he's The Bus.
452
00:18:23,450 --> 00:18:25,800
You could have been Mrs. Bus.
453
00:18:25,843 --> 00:18:28,150
You know?
454
00:18:28,194 --> 00:18:29,847
Living the good life.
455
00:18:29,891 --> 00:18:31,371
Front-row seats to the game,
456
00:18:31,414 --> 00:18:33,851
private jets,
flashy jewelry.
457
00:18:36,158 --> 00:18:38,465
Calvin, what are you
talking about?
458
00:18:38,508 --> 00:18:40,423
I am living my best life.
459
00:18:40,467 --> 00:18:43,165
Yeah, but being married to
a guy that owns a body shop
460
00:18:43,209 --> 00:18:46,168
doesn't get you on The Real
Housewives of Pittsburgh.
461
00:18:47,213 --> 00:18:49,389
Calvin, I have had
lots of chances
462
00:18:49,432 --> 00:18:50,868
at living that life,
463
00:18:50,912 --> 00:18:53,132
but I chose you
and the life you offered.
464
00:18:54,959 --> 00:18:57,353
What do you mean you had
"lots of chances"?
465
00:18:59,486 --> 00:19:02,053
Oh, you thought
you were playing about Ja Rule.
466
00:19:02,097 --> 00:19:03,359
What? Tina...
467
00:19:03,403 --> 00:19:05,231
I-I'm just playing,
I'm just playing.
468
00:19:07,102 --> 00:19:08,799
Calvin...
469
00:19:08,843 --> 00:19:12,281
You know, nothing can replace
the chemistry we have.
470
00:19:12,325 --> 00:19:13,761
Do you know
how I feel
471
00:19:13,804 --> 00:19:15,415
every time you walk
into a room?
472
00:19:17,068 --> 00:19:20,071
I'm guessing...
pretty good?
473
00:19:20,115 --> 00:19:22,030
After 32 years of marriage,
474
00:19:22,073 --> 00:19:24,772
I still light up.
Every time.
475
00:19:26,252 --> 00:19:27,731
I feel bad.
476
00:19:27,775 --> 00:19:29,820
I guess I should've told you
about Jerome.
477
00:19:29,864 --> 00:19:31,692
Nah.
478
00:19:31,735 --> 00:19:33,476
No, the rule is the rule.
479
00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:35,435
And I still think
it's the right way to go.
480
00:19:35,478 --> 00:19:37,393
I mean, who cares
about our past
481
00:19:37,437 --> 00:19:39,265
when we're
each other's forever?
482
00:19:39,308 --> 00:19:40,657
Mmm.
483
00:19:40,701 --> 00:19:41,919
I love you.
484
00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:44,357
I think it was
kind of sexy, though,
485
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:46,272
with you being so jealous.
486
00:19:46,315 --> 00:19:47,795
Made me feel like
I still got it.
487
00:19:47,838 --> 00:19:49,927
Oh, trust me,
488
00:19:49,971 --> 00:19:51,320
you still got it.
489
00:19:53,279 --> 00:19:55,150
And I still want it.
490
00:19:57,326 --> 00:19:59,154
Now come on,
let's go get unholy.
491
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:00,721
Come on.
Okay.
492
00:20:08,250 --> 00:20:10,209
Thanks for taking me
to the movies, Calvin.
493
00:20:10,252 --> 00:20:12,385
Anytime, Lil' Tee Tee.
494
00:20:15,301 --> 00:20:17,477
Ooh! This is
my favorite part.
495
00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:19,479
He is so cute!
496
00:20:25,746 --> 00:20:27,356
No!
33802
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