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All language subtitles for Paternity 1981 1080p WEB-DL DD 2 0 H 264-NGP4 (1)_track3_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:17,539 --> 00:00:19,149 [SHIP HORN HONKING] 2 00:00:30,595 --> 00:00:32,119 [BELLS TOLLING] 3 00:00:40,214 --> 00:00:42,346 Morning, Mr. Evans. Morning, Jim. 4 00:00:46,307 --> 00:00:48,178 [CAR HORNS HONKING] 5 00:01:18,513 --> 00:01:20,384 ♪ Papa says Dada ♪ 6 00:01:20,428 --> 00:01:23,126 ♪ Baby says Dada, too ♪ 7 00:01:26,390 --> 00:01:28,479 ♪ Mama goes gaga ♪ 8 00:01:28,523 --> 00:01:31,917 ♪ Baby goes goo-goo-goo ♪ 9 00:01:33,963 --> 00:01:38,968 ♪ Now, that's hardly fancy phraseology ♪ 10 00:01:39,011 --> 00:01:41,927 ♪ And yet it's understood ♪ 11 00:01:43,015 --> 00:01:44,365 ♪ Babies agree ♪ 12 00:01:44,408 --> 00:01:47,933 ♪ A little baby talk works real good ♪ 13 00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:52,982 ♪ Papa waves bye-bye ♪ 14 00:01:53,025 --> 00:01:56,290 ♪ Baby waves bye-bye, too ♪ 15 00:01:58,814 --> 00:02:01,164 ♪ Mama says don't cry ♪ 16 00:02:01,208 --> 00:02:04,820 ♪ Baby goes boo-hoo-hoo ♪ 17 00:02:06,865 --> 00:02:08,824 ♪ You could spend your life ♪ 18 00:02:08,867 --> 00:02:11,827 ♪ In child psychology ♪ 19 00:02:11,870 --> 00:02:15,178 ♪ You wouldn't find a clue ♪ 20 00:02:15,222 --> 00:02:17,049 ♪ But plain as can be ♪ 21 00:02:17,093 --> 00:02:21,053 ♪ A little baby talk sees you through ♪ 22 00:02:23,404 --> 00:02:26,058 ♪ Baby ♪ 23 00:02:26,102 --> 00:02:31,368 ♪ If we eliminate words that keep us apart ♪ 24 00:02:31,412 --> 00:02:34,023 ♪ Then maybe ♪ 25 00:02:34,066 --> 00:02:38,027 ♪ We could communicate face to face ♪ 26 00:02:38,070 --> 00:02:40,421 ♪ And heart-to-heart ♪ 27 00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:47,863 ♪ Time to say night-night ♪ 28 00:02:47,906 --> 00:02:51,171 ♪ Mama say night-night, too ♪ 29 00:02:53,912 --> 00:02:55,740 ♪ Papa tells Mama ♪ 30 00:02:55,784 --> 00:02:58,743 ♪ Baby, it's only me ♪ 31 00:02:58,787 --> 00:03:00,136 ♪ And you ♪ 32 00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:01,790 [CAR BRAKES SCREECH] 33 00:03:10,494 --> 00:03:12,888 ♪ Let's make nice-nice now ♪ 34 00:03:12,931 --> 00:03:15,499 ♪ And let biology ♪ 35 00:03:15,543 --> 00:03:19,199 ♪ Step in and save the day ♪ 36 00:03:19,242 --> 00:03:24,813 ♪ Eventually, another baby may come to stay ♪ 37 00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:29,687 ♪ Obviously ♪ 38 00:03:29,731 --> 00:03:35,693 ♪ A little baby talk paved the way ♪ 39 00:03:48,271 --> 00:03:51,231 [BABIES COOING] 40 00:04:08,726 --> 00:04:11,251 [BABIES CRYING] 41 00:04:31,575 --> 00:04:34,665 [BABIES CRYING] 42 00:04:46,721 --> 00:04:49,550 [CRYING INTENSIFIES] 43 00:05:04,869 --> 00:05:07,524 [BABIES CONTINUE CRYING] 44 00:05:34,421 --> 00:05:36,814 Forty-four and still going strong, huh? 45 00:05:36,858 --> 00:05:38,642 I feel almost 43. Really? 46 00:05:38,686 --> 00:05:41,428 Yeah. You look good. I'll tell you that. 47 00:05:41,471 --> 00:05:43,995 You tell Rudy... The sign was my idea. Do you like it? 48 00:05:44,039 --> 00:05:46,171 Take it down. I knew you'd like it. 49 00:05:46,215 --> 00:05:48,304 I'll take it down. 50 00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:50,437 Living alone all these years has made you cranky. 51 00:05:52,003 --> 00:05:53,918 You can't spend your birthday alone. 52 00:05:53,962 --> 00:05:56,051 Why don't you let Betty and I take you out tonight? 53 00:05:56,094 --> 00:05:57,574 It's later than you think. 54 00:05:57,618 --> 00:05:59,750 Good morning, Mr. Evans. Morning, Jerry. 55 00:05:59,794 --> 00:06:02,057 Forty-four, your age, is when it hit me. 56 00:06:02,100 --> 00:06:03,667 What hit ya? My mortality. 57 00:06:03,711 --> 00:06:06,148 Your what? My mortality. Hit me like a brick. 58 00:06:06,191 --> 00:06:08,280 Hey, Mr. Evans, what's the line-up of the game tonight? 59 00:06:08,324 --> 00:06:10,239 The Jets in two, Carlos. CARLOS: Great. 60 00:06:10,282 --> 00:06:12,720 He used to be a fighter. Lightweight.Middle-weight. 61 00:06:12,763 --> 00:06:14,112 Yeah, well, he's a good middleweight. 62 00:06:14,156 --> 00:06:15,897 Good middle-weight? He's 44. 63 00:06:15,940 --> 00:06:17,594 I woke up one morning, I said, 64 00:06:17,638 --> 00:06:20,205 "Kurt, stand up, look around you. 65 00:06:20,249 --> 00:06:22,120 "The world is changing." 66 00:06:22,164 --> 00:06:23,992 The pitcher's going out to the mound 67 00:06:24,035 --> 00:06:25,863 in a God damn golf cart. 68 00:06:25,907 --> 00:06:27,474 Yes, sir, a man has gotta have something 69 00:06:27,517 --> 00:06:29,345 to leave behind him when he goes, am I right? 70 00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:31,042 Right. 71 00:06:31,086 --> 00:06:32,479 Here you are, my best friend. 72 00:06:32,522 --> 00:06:34,219 You manage Madison Square Garden, 73 00:06:34,263 --> 00:06:36,265 you're popular, I used to feel inferior. 74 00:06:36,308 --> 00:06:38,789 Then it dawned on me. What dawned on you? 75 00:06:38,833 --> 00:06:41,096 "Kurt," I said, "Hell, you've got a beautiful home, 76 00:06:41,139 --> 00:06:42,924 "you got one terrific family. 77 00:06:42,967 --> 00:06:44,578 "What more could a man want?" 78 00:06:44,621 --> 00:06:46,536 A nice home, a nice family. 79 00:06:46,580 --> 00:06:49,844 What do you got? You've got an apartment and plants. 80 00:06:49,887 --> 00:06:51,628 What kind of life is that? 81 00:06:51,672 --> 00:06:54,196 Yesiree, I got one wonderful family. 82 00:06:55,545 --> 00:06:57,852 By the way, if you see my son this afternoon, 83 00:06:57,895 --> 00:06:59,549 tell him I'm still alive. 84 00:07:00,942 --> 00:07:02,073 Morning, Cindy. 85 00:07:02,117 --> 00:07:04,685 Happy birthday, Mr. Evans.Thank you. 86 00:07:04,728 --> 00:07:06,382 A lot of people have nothing like you. 87 00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:08,428 [CHUCKLES] 88 00:07:08,471 --> 00:07:10,081 Hi, big guy. Hi, little guy. 89 00:07:10,125 --> 00:07:11,996 Happy birthday. Oh, thank you. 90 00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:13,955 Mail, phone calls, 91 00:07:13,998 --> 00:07:16,087 and the network people are in your office. 92 00:07:16,131 --> 00:07:17,741 Remember me? I live with your mother. 93 00:07:17,785 --> 00:07:19,003 "Dad," right? 94 00:07:20,918 --> 00:07:22,790 [CHEERING ON TV] 95 00:07:22,833 --> 00:07:24,444 [WHISTLE BLOWS ON TV] 96 00:07:30,145 --> 00:07:32,364 I think that just about sums it up. 97 00:07:32,408 --> 00:07:34,105 The film speaks for itself. 98 00:07:34,149 --> 00:07:36,281 See? The sport's wide-open. 99 00:07:36,325 --> 00:07:38,022 I've got an 11:00 appointment. 100 00:07:38,066 --> 00:07:39,459 If you've got any more questions, 101 00:07:39,502 --> 00:07:41,330 Why don't you talk to Kurt here?And, of course, 102 00:07:41,373 --> 00:07:43,767 we can show slap shot for between periods. 103 00:07:43,811 --> 00:07:45,247 You can run the film again. 104 00:07:47,336 --> 00:07:49,904 Why don't we run the film again? 105 00:07:49,947 --> 00:07:52,950 He has an 11:00 appointment, apparently. 106 00:07:52,994 --> 00:07:54,778 [SIGHS] 107 00:07:54,822 --> 00:07:56,650 [TV CHATTER] 108 00:07:57,738 --> 00:07:59,348 ANNOUNCER: Ross passes to Michelle, 109 00:07:59,391 --> 00:08:00,784 Michelle crosses the blue line. 110 00:08:00,828 --> 00:08:02,438 He shoots. He scores! 111 00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:03,874 Well, there you are. 112 00:08:03,918 --> 00:08:05,441 It's just not convincing. 113 00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:09,489 And to be frank, it's Mr. Evans' input we came here to get. 114 00:08:09,532 --> 00:08:11,403 Well, I'll be frank with you, gentlemen. 115 00:08:11,447 --> 00:08:13,318 Mr. Evans is a very pressured man. 116 00:08:13,362 --> 00:08:15,407 I mean, you're very lucky 117 00:08:15,451 --> 00:08:17,322 he's fit you into his schedule like this. 118 00:08:17,366 --> 00:08:19,107 Everybody's after his time, 119 00:08:19,150 --> 00:08:22,240 politicians, religious leaders, corporate giants. 120 00:08:35,558 --> 00:08:36,907 Feed me, big guy. 121 00:08:38,605 --> 00:08:40,432 All right. There we go. 122 00:08:40,476 --> 00:08:42,043 Good shot. Go over there. 123 00:08:46,613 --> 00:08:48,353 [CHUCKLES] Feed me. 124 00:08:52,053 --> 00:08:54,142 So, how old are you? 125 00:08:54,185 --> 00:08:56,361 Forty-four. Wow! 126 00:08:57,406 --> 00:08:58,842 What do you mean, "Wow"? 127 00:08:58,886 --> 00:09:01,236 Maybe you'd better sit down. 128 00:09:01,279 --> 00:09:03,238 I'm in great shape. What are you talking about? 129 00:09:03,281 --> 00:09:06,110 I never knew anyone who was 44 before. 130 00:09:10,811 --> 00:09:13,988 Your dad's got friends that are 44 or older. 131 00:09:14,684 --> 00:09:16,164 Yeah? 132 00:09:16,207 --> 00:09:17,992 Maybe I'm missing something in life. 133 00:09:18,035 --> 00:09:20,081 May I ask you a question? Sure. 134 00:09:21,343 --> 00:09:25,129 Do I seem, uh, incomplete to you? 135 00:09:25,173 --> 00:09:28,002 I had a teacher, Mr. Collins, he was 43. 136 00:09:28,045 --> 00:09:30,482 Is he complete? No. He's dead. 137 00:09:30,526 --> 00:09:32,006 He died of a heart attack. 138 00:09:32,049 --> 00:09:33,877 Went just like that, bingo. 139 00:09:37,881 --> 00:09:39,013 Bingo. 140 00:09:43,147 --> 00:09:46,150 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 141 00:09:53,331 --> 00:09:54,768 [COUGHING] 142 00:10:08,259 --> 00:10:10,392 WOMAN: Evans? Right over there. 143 00:10:12,524 --> 00:10:15,223 There. They're inside. Come on. 144 00:10:18,879 --> 00:10:21,751 ♪ It's your birthday today ♪ 145 00:10:21,795 --> 00:10:24,362 ♪ And everybody here's gotta say, hey ♪ 146 00:10:24,406 --> 00:10:27,017 ♪ 'Cause it's your birthday today ♪ 147 00:10:27,061 --> 00:10:28,584 ♪ So make a wish ♪ 148 00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:30,238 ♪ Blow out the candles ♪ 149 00:10:30,281 --> 00:10:31,543 ♪ Have a big piece of cake ♪ 150 00:10:31,587 --> 00:10:34,503 ♪ 'Cause you don't have any love handles ♪ 151 00:10:34,546 --> 00:10:36,548 ♪ It's your birthday today ♪ 152 00:10:36,592 --> 00:10:38,463 ♪ And everybody here's gotta say ♪ 153 00:10:38,507 --> 00:10:40,422 ♪ Hey, it's your birthday today ♪ 154 00:10:40,465 --> 00:10:41,728 Very nice. 155 00:10:41,771 --> 00:10:43,947 ♪ Your wife will make that special meal ♪ 156 00:10:43,991 --> 00:10:46,254 ♪ Your kids will bring your slippers ♪ 157 00:10:46,297 --> 00:10:48,648 ♪ What a lucky guy, what a family ♪ 158 00:10:48,691 --> 00:10:50,737 ♪ Especially those little nippers ♪ 159 00:10:50,780 --> 00:10:52,260 Very talented. Thank you very much. 160 00:10:52,303 --> 00:10:54,044 ♪ So sing and dance ♪ 161 00:10:54,088 --> 00:10:55,611 ♪ Jump and shout, whoo! ♪ 162 00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,526 ♪ It's your birthday today ♪ 163 00:10:57,569 --> 00:10:58,919 All right. I'm not married. 164 00:10:58,962 --> 00:11:01,225 Oh. Oh. Okay, uh... 165 00:11:01,269 --> 00:11:02,618 So, uh... 166 00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:05,142 ♪ Go on out now and find that wonderful girl ♪ 167 00:11:05,186 --> 00:11:07,579 ♪ You're only 44 ♪ 168 00:11:07,623 --> 00:11:09,581 ♪ Hey, you got plenty of time ♪ 169 00:11:09,625 --> 00:11:12,367 ♪ Hurry up! What are you waiting for? ♪ 170 00:11:12,410 --> 00:11:16,284 ♪ It's your birthday today ♪ 171 00:11:16,327 --> 00:11:19,635 ♪ And everybody here's gotta say ♪ 172 00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:22,116 ♪ Hey, that it's your birthday ♪ 173 00:11:22,159 --> 00:11:23,291 Come on, everybody! 174 00:11:23,334 --> 00:11:25,597 ♪ Talk about your birthday ♪ 175 00:11:25,641 --> 00:11:28,992 ♪ It's your birthday ♪ 176 00:11:29,036 --> 00:11:31,429 Is anybody singing? ♪ To... ♪ 177 00:12:11,121 --> 00:12:12,819 [GAGGING AND COUGHING] 178 00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:17,867 Fine. 179 00:12:22,916 --> 00:12:24,526 So what's bothering your Buddy? 180 00:12:24,569 --> 00:12:26,180 He thinks he's getting old. 181 00:12:26,223 --> 00:12:27,572 He's got nothing to leave behind 182 00:12:27,616 --> 00:12:29,705 that says, "Buddy Evans was here." 183 00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:31,663 Oh. Pretty girl. 184 00:12:31,707 --> 00:12:33,709 We don't say pretty anymore. That's sexist. 185 00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:35,493 Now we say she's got good bone structure. 186 00:12:35,537 --> 00:12:37,017 You should know. You're a doctor. 187 00:12:38,409 --> 00:12:40,629 I think the problem is he has nothing to leave behind. 188 00:12:40,672 --> 00:12:43,023 There's nothing to say, "Buddy Evans was here." 189 00:12:43,066 --> 00:12:45,895 Doesn't look too good either. Why don't you come in? I'll give you a physical. 190 00:12:45,939 --> 00:12:47,723 I came in last week. You did? 191 00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:51,640 Yeah. You said I looked fine, fit as a fiddle. 192 00:12:51,683 --> 00:12:53,860 "Fit as a fiddle?" I never said "Fit as a fiddle" in my life. 193 00:12:53,903 --> 00:12:55,296 You ever hear me "Fit as a fiddle"? 194 00:12:55,339 --> 00:12:56,993 Maybe he didn't say that. He said I looked fine. 195 00:12:57,037 --> 00:12:58,516 All right. So what's he worried about? 196 00:12:58,560 --> 00:13:01,302 You know something? I've got nothing to leave behind. 197 00:13:01,345 --> 00:13:03,130 Nothing to say that Buddy Evans was here. 198 00:13:03,173 --> 00:13:04,609 That's a good point. Yeah. 199 00:13:04,653 --> 00:13:06,916 Maybe the problem is he's basically a cold person. 200 00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:08,788 He's not really a cold person. 201 00:13:08,831 --> 00:13:11,138 Kids like him. Yeah, kids like me, don't they? 202 00:13:11,181 --> 00:13:14,054 My kid likes you. So what's missing? 203 00:13:14,097 --> 00:13:16,317 Maybe he should get married, like the rest of us. 204 00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:18,536 Married? Buddy? No way. I'm not gonna get married. 205 00:13:18,580 --> 00:13:20,147 He can't live with anyone. 206 00:13:20,190 --> 00:13:22,149 He could try. Buddy, look, look. 207 00:13:22,192 --> 00:13:24,020 Of all the guys I know, 208 00:13:24,064 --> 00:13:26,588 you're the one guy who has everything. 209 00:13:26,631 --> 00:13:29,286 No wife, no kids, no house, no mortgage. 210 00:13:29,330 --> 00:13:30,635 What else could you ask for? 211 00:13:30,679 --> 00:13:32,507 I don't know. I envy you. 212 00:13:32,550 --> 00:13:35,815 [LAUGHS] Just relax. Take two aspirin. Call me in the morning. 213 00:13:35,858 --> 00:13:37,381 Take the rest of the day off. 214 00:13:38,861 --> 00:13:41,124 Hi. I like your bone structure. 215 00:13:43,474 --> 00:13:45,041 There's a $2 minimum. 216 00:13:46,434 --> 00:13:49,698 What, David? No, no, that's not an alligator. 217 00:13:49,741 --> 00:13:53,441 Now, you see, there's the daddy bird up there. 218 00:13:53,484 --> 00:13:55,660 And there's the mommy bird in the nest there. 219 00:13:55,704 --> 00:13:57,967 She sits on the eggs until they hatch. 220 00:13:58,011 --> 00:14:00,491 Some animals, boys and girls, like the earthworm, 221 00:14:00,535 --> 00:14:03,581 can either be a mommy or a daddy, depending on who they meet. 222 00:14:03,625 --> 00:14:05,235 Just like my uncle Barry. 223 00:14:05,279 --> 00:14:06,846 It takes all kinds. 224 00:14:06,889 --> 00:14:09,196 That's for sure. 225 00:14:09,239 --> 00:14:10,588 Some wild animals, boys and girls, 226 00:14:10,632 --> 00:14:12,764 have interesting mating habits. 227 00:14:13,983 --> 00:14:16,203 For instance, when we go back to the zoo, 228 00:14:16,246 --> 00:14:17,726 you'll see the emu bird. 229 00:14:17,769 --> 00:14:19,902 Now, the emu is a fascinating bird, 230 00:14:19,946 --> 00:14:22,687 because the mommy just lays the eggs. 231 00:14:22,731 --> 00:14:25,690 And she leaves them there for the daddy to hatch, 232 00:14:25,734 --> 00:14:27,736 and raise, all by himself. 233 00:14:27,779 --> 00:14:29,825 Now, does anyone know what we call 234 00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:32,262 a kind of mommy that just produces offspring 235 00:14:32,306 --> 00:14:34,090 and leaves them for someone else to raise? 236 00:14:34,134 --> 00:14:36,745 I'd call her lucky. And smart. 237 00:14:36,788 --> 00:14:39,835 MAN: We call that mother a surrogate mother. 238 00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:42,185 All right, now just follow me here. 239 00:14:42,229 --> 00:14:45,188 You? A son? 240 00:14:45,232 --> 00:14:47,843 [LAUGHING] 241 00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:49,801 Oh, come on. 242 00:14:49,845 --> 00:14:51,891 That's the whole point. 243 00:14:51,934 --> 00:14:54,197 I want to have a child, an heir, you know. 244 00:14:54,241 --> 00:14:57,635 And who will you get to play the mother in this little comedy? 245 00:14:57,679 --> 00:14:59,550 Don't you read the papers? 246 00:14:59,594 --> 00:15:01,901 I'm the most eligible bachelor in town. 247 00:15:01,944 --> 00:15:05,121 As a bachelor, you might be eligible, 248 00:15:05,165 --> 00:15:06,731 but, as a husband... 249 00:15:06,775 --> 00:15:09,343 [CHUCKLING] 250 00:15:09,386 --> 00:15:10,822 I don't know. 251 00:15:12,999 --> 00:15:16,654 I don't think anybody's ever gonna stay married to you. 252 00:15:16,698 --> 00:15:19,179 [CHUCKLES] Well, I'm not getting married. 253 00:15:19,222 --> 00:15:22,269 I'm hiring a surrogate mother. 254 00:15:22,312 --> 00:15:25,576 I'll raise the child myself, like the emu. 255 00:15:27,839 --> 00:15:29,058 Say what? 256 00:15:29,841 --> 00:15:31,147 That's a bird, 257 00:15:31,191 --> 00:15:33,628 and the male raises the offspring. 258 00:15:33,671 --> 00:15:38,372 You can't live with anyone, child, woman or emu. 259 00:15:38,415 --> 00:15:41,505 You are the original Mr. Perfection. 260 00:15:41,549 --> 00:15:44,900 Pencils on the desk, books on the shelf, 261 00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:49,035 Socks in the right-hand side of the drawer. 262 00:15:49,078 --> 00:15:52,342 Well, I admit that I am perfect in some ways, 263 00:15:52,386 --> 00:15:55,171 but there's something missing in my life. 264 00:15:55,215 --> 00:15:56,825 I mean, when I leave, what's to say 265 00:15:56,868 --> 00:15:58,609 that Buddy Evans was here? 266 00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:01,699 Oh... 267 00:16:01,743 --> 00:16:03,353 What's the matter with that plant? 268 00:16:03,397 --> 00:16:04,920 It's dying. 269 00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:07,140 $500 plants don't die. 270 00:16:07,183 --> 00:16:10,578 Then we'll just say it's passing away. 271 00:16:13,885 --> 00:16:15,104 Celia? 272 00:16:16,323 --> 00:16:17,585 I love children. 273 00:16:20,588 --> 00:16:22,285 Somebody else's. 274 00:16:22,329 --> 00:16:23,983 Who don't? 275 00:16:24,026 --> 00:16:26,594 Besides, you a cold fish. 276 00:16:28,248 --> 00:16:29,727 You mean 'cause I don't go around 277 00:16:29,771 --> 00:16:31,207 hugging people all the time? 278 00:16:31,251 --> 00:16:33,122 That's exactly what I mean. 279 00:16:33,166 --> 00:16:35,429 I have inner warmth. 280 00:16:37,300 --> 00:16:39,085 You could have fooled me. 281 00:16:40,347 --> 00:16:41,783 Hello, baby. 282 00:16:42,653 --> 00:16:44,655 Hello, my little baby. 283 00:16:44,699 --> 00:16:46,483 You see, this one is healthy. 284 00:16:53,403 --> 00:16:55,536 You're gonna raise this kid all alone? 285 00:16:55,579 --> 00:16:57,929 It's now. It's contemporary. Can't you see that? 286 00:16:57,973 --> 00:17:00,106 I can see legal problems. That's what I can see. 287 00:17:00,149 --> 00:17:01,672 Why don't you just adopt? 288 00:17:01,716 --> 00:17:03,892 Because I want a kid of my own, thank you. 289 00:17:03,935 --> 00:17:05,763 It's not gonna work. Of course, it's gonna work. 290 00:17:05,807 --> 00:17:08,940 You just draw up the contract, you spell everything out. 291 00:17:08,984 --> 00:17:10,507 Let's talk about her qualifications. 292 00:17:10,551 --> 00:17:11,856 She's got to be perfect, that's all. 293 00:17:11,900 --> 00:17:14,511 Beautiful, intelligent, clean. 294 00:17:14,555 --> 00:17:16,383 Who's going to find this mystery lady? 295 00:17:16,426 --> 00:17:18,254 We are. "We"? 296 00:17:18,298 --> 00:17:20,474 Come on, buddy, no woman is gonna do this. 297 00:17:20,517 --> 00:17:22,041 A woman will do this. 298 00:17:22,084 --> 00:17:23,825 We just have to find her, that's all. 299 00:17:23,868 --> 00:17:26,349 Miss, excuse me. You have a minute? 300 00:17:26,393 --> 00:17:28,873 Me and my colleagues here are having an argument. 301 00:17:28,917 --> 00:17:31,311 We need a female opinion. An honest opinion. 302 00:17:31,354 --> 00:17:33,269 We have this friend... 303 00:17:33,313 --> 00:17:34,923 Distant friend. Distant friend. 304 00:17:34,966 --> 00:17:36,620 Who would like to have a son. 305 00:17:36,664 --> 00:17:38,753 But he doesn't want to get married. 306 00:17:38,796 --> 00:17:41,060 Why not? Is he gay? 307 00:17:41,103 --> 00:17:43,671 No, he's not gay. He's not gay. 308 00:17:43,714 --> 00:17:46,848 See, the question is, do you feel, as a woman, 309 00:17:46,891 --> 00:17:49,372 you feel, as a woman, that you could carry the child 310 00:17:49,416 --> 00:17:51,418 of a man who wasn't your husband? 311 00:17:51,461 --> 00:17:54,725 Why not? Having a baby's just a biological function. 312 00:17:54,769 --> 00:17:56,771 See? There you are. 313 00:17:59,469 --> 00:18:01,645 A rational young lady. 314 00:18:01,689 --> 00:18:03,995 Let's get back to the qualifications, right?Okay. 315 00:18:04,039 --> 00:18:05,562 She shouldn't be too short. 316 00:18:05,606 --> 00:18:08,522 Oh, Celia says she should have healthy breasts. 317 00:18:08,565 --> 00:18:10,524 I agree with Celia. 318 00:18:10,567 --> 00:18:12,917 WOMAN: Maggie! Up here! 319 00:18:12,961 --> 00:18:15,137 I've been waiting for you. 320 00:18:15,181 --> 00:18:17,313 You've got a letter from France. 321 00:18:18,314 --> 00:18:20,403 Here. Wait here. Don't go away. 322 00:18:20,447 --> 00:18:21,839 Just wait right there. 323 00:18:26,757 --> 00:18:28,672 I can't open it. Open it. 324 00:18:28,716 --> 00:18:30,196 Oh, no, I can't open it. 325 00:18:31,066 --> 00:18:32,676 Open it. 326 00:18:37,551 --> 00:18:38,813 So? 327 00:18:39,944 --> 00:18:41,511 I got it. 328 00:18:41,555 --> 00:18:43,122 You got it? Yeah. 329 00:18:43,165 --> 00:18:46,125 Oh, Maggie, that's wonderful! You've been accepted. 330 00:18:46,168 --> 00:18:49,476 She's going to Paris and studying with Devereux. 331 00:18:49,519 --> 00:18:51,042 I can't go. 332 00:18:51,086 --> 00:18:53,393 He's the best brass teacher in the world. 333 00:18:53,436 --> 00:18:55,395 I can't go. When do you go? 334 00:18:55,438 --> 00:18:57,005 Cathy, I can't go. 335 00:18:57,048 --> 00:18:59,007 What do you mean, you can't go? 336 00:18:59,050 --> 00:19:01,183 Where am I gonna get this kind of money? 337 00:19:01,227 --> 00:19:03,011 We're talking big money here. 338 00:19:03,054 --> 00:19:05,796 I've got to get there. I've got to pay tuition. 339 00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:08,930 There's living expenses. I couldn't work if I'm studying. 340 00:19:08,973 --> 00:19:10,932 I don't think I have this kind of money. 341 00:19:10,975 --> 00:19:13,282 How much do you need? More than I've got. 342 00:19:13,326 --> 00:19:15,241 What about the job at the restaurant? 343 00:19:15,284 --> 00:19:17,330 You can't go to France on tips. 344 00:19:17,373 --> 00:19:19,854 I'd have to give lessons to every brat in the city. 345 00:19:19,897 --> 00:19:21,769 But you can do it. I know you. 346 00:19:21,812 --> 00:19:23,162 If anyone can do it, you can do it. 347 00:19:23,205 --> 00:19:24,685 I've got a class. I gotta go. 348 00:19:24,728 --> 00:19:26,077 Hey! 349 00:19:26,121 --> 00:19:27,644 Oh. 350 00:19:28,123 --> 00:19:29,516 Au revoir. 351 00:19:30,299 --> 00:19:31,735 You can do it. 352 00:19:50,841 --> 00:19:51,973 Hi. 353 00:19:52,887 --> 00:19:54,932 Diane Cassabello? In there. 354 00:19:57,500 --> 00:19:59,198 Hey, you. You can't go in there like that. 355 00:19:59,241 --> 00:20:01,025 Why not? You gotta wear a coat. 356 00:20:02,331 --> 00:20:03,724 I can't wear this. 357 00:20:03,767 --> 00:20:05,465 Sorry, pal. It's state law. 358 00:20:07,162 --> 00:20:08,598 For hygiene. 359 00:20:19,740 --> 00:20:21,394 Diane Cassabello around? 360 00:20:23,657 --> 00:20:25,354 Coming through. 361 00:20:27,443 --> 00:20:29,053 [GRUNTS] Thanks, Mario. 362 00:20:31,186 --> 00:20:33,057 Diane? Buddy! 363 00:20:33,101 --> 00:20:34,711 Hi. Hi! How are you? 364 00:20:34,755 --> 00:20:36,147 Fine. You working here now? 365 00:20:36,191 --> 00:20:37,888 Yeah. Just for a couple of days. 366 00:20:37,932 --> 00:20:40,413 Thatcher's Temporary Service sent me here. 367 00:20:40,456 --> 00:20:43,503 Tomorrow I work at Tiffany's. [COUGHS] 368 00:20:43,546 --> 00:20:46,070 What are you doing here?Um, well... 369 00:20:47,071 --> 00:20:49,204 I came to see you. Me? 370 00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:52,207 [THUDS] Oh, Buddy, this is Mario. 371 00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:53,991 Hi, Mario. [KNIFE CLATTERS] 372 00:20:54,035 --> 00:20:56,211 [MEAT GRINDER BUZZING] 373 00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:58,909 Is there somewhere we can we go and talk, where it's a little quieter? 374 00:20:58,953 --> 00:21:00,520 Buddy, I can't. I'm working. 375 00:21:00,563 --> 00:21:02,609 But I have something very important to tell you. 376 00:21:06,352 --> 00:21:08,919 Didn't we have a wonderful time together? 377 00:21:08,963 --> 00:21:10,834 Us? Yes. 378 00:21:10,878 --> 00:21:12,401 We had a terrible time together. 379 00:21:12,445 --> 00:21:14,273 Sure, at the end of the relationship, yes. 380 00:21:14,316 --> 00:21:16,057 But, in the beginning, it was wonderful. 381 00:21:16,100 --> 00:21:17,711 It was only a week. 382 00:21:17,754 --> 00:21:19,408 Yeah, but Monday and Tuesday were terrific. 383 00:21:19,452 --> 00:21:21,541 [GIGGLES] Buddy? Yes. 384 00:21:21,584 --> 00:21:23,238 What do you want? [MEAT GRINDER TURNS OFF] 385 00:21:23,282 --> 00:21:25,632 I want you to have my baby! I want you to be the mother of my son! 386 00:21:27,068 --> 00:21:28,112 Me? 387 00:21:30,201 --> 00:21:32,116 You want to marry me? 388 00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:34,554 No. Oh. 389 00:21:34,597 --> 00:21:38,209 I don't want to marry you. I just want you to be a surrogate mother. 390 00:21:38,253 --> 00:21:40,168 I mean, Buddy, I mean, you're the most el... 391 00:21:40,211 --> 00:21:41,778 [COUGHING] 392 00:21:41,822 --> 00:21:43,693 Eligible bachelor in the city. 393 00:21:43,737 --> 00:21:45,695 You could have anybody. 394 00:21:45,739 --> 00:21:47,871 Of course, but... Of course, 395 00:21:47,915 --> 00:21:50,265 I don't want a chorus girl for the mother of my baby. 396 00:21:50,309 --> 00:21:52,789 Well, why me? You're the first person I thought of 397 00:21:52,833 --> 00:21:54,704 when I thought about having a baby. 398 00:21:54,748 --> 00:21:58,447 You're gentle, and you're sensitive, 399 00:21:58,491 --> 00:22:00,449 And you're the most vulnerable person... 400 00:22:00,493 --> 00:22:02,233 God, that's disgusting! 401 00:22:02,277 --> 00:22:05,498 Buddy... I'm sorry. 402 00:22:05,541 --> 00:22:08,022 I mean, I think that you're a great guy. 403 00:22:08,065 --> 00:22:10,894 And I think that you have a fabulous sense of humor. 404 00:22:10,938 --> 00:22:14,594 And I'm sure that somebody is gonna wanna have a baby for you. 405 00:22:15,986 --> 00:22:18,598 But it's not me. Oh. 406 00:22:24,647 --> 00:22:26,040 Maybe we should go... 407 00:22:28,216 --> 00:22:30,044 It was great seeing you again, Buddy. 408 00:22:30,087 --> 00:22:32,786 [MEAT GRINDER TURNS ON] Great seeing you again. 409 00:22:32,829 --> 00:22:34,353 Bye. Bye. 410 00:22:41,185 --> 00:22:44,406 Here. KURT: So Diane's the lucky woman, eh? 411 00:22:44,450 --> 00:22:46,582 Diane's involved with a butcher. 412 00:22:46,626 --> 00:22:48,802 But, Connie, that's the woman I'm seeing tonight. 413 00:22:49,803 --> 00:22:52,066 She's, uh, she's something. 414 00:22:52,109 --> 00:22:54,590 I mean, absolutely gorgeous, and... 415 00:22:54,634 --> 00:22:57,201 She's gonna relate to what I'm asking. 416 00:22:57,245 --> 00:22:59,378 [INAUDIBLE] 417 00:23:14,305 --> 00:23:16,830 KURT: So Connie's the lucky woman, eh? 418 00:23:16,873 --> 00:23:19,441 BUDDY: Connie's not as serious as she used to be, 419 00:23:19,485 --> 00:23:23,053 but, Emily, the one i'm seeing this afternoon... 420 00:23:23,097 --> 00:23:24,925 I tell ya, I got a hunch about her. 421 00:23:34,587 --> 00:23:36,545 KURT: So when do we get to meet Emily? 422 00:23:36,589 --> 00:23:38,808 BUDDY: Emily's, uh, thinking about it. 423 00:23:38,852 --> 00:23:40,636 But, Veronica, she's the one 424 00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:42,421 that's coming over to the office this afternoon. 425 00:23:42,464 --> 00:23:44,640 God, I haven't seen her in six years. 426 00:23:44,684 --> 00:23:47,513 But I'll tell you something, Kurt. 427 00:23:47,556 --> 00:23:50,167 It would be a lot of fun having a baby with her. 428 00:23:50,211 --> 00:23:53,127 She's got a body that doesn't quit! 429 00:23:53,170 --> 00:23:54,911 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 430 00:23:55,782 --> 00:23:57,523 Come in. It's open. 431 00:24:02,179 --> 00:24:04,225 [GLASS SHATTERING] 432 00:24:04,268 --> 00:24:07,010 I tell you, Kurt, I am so nervous. 433 00:24:07,054 --> 00:24:10,144 It's 10:00 in the morning, and I'm having a vodka and tonic. 434 00:24:10,187 --> 00:24:13,147 When's the last time you knew me to have a vodka and tonic at 10:00 in the morning? 435 00:24:13,190 --> 00:24:15,802 Uh, anyway, the two you're gonna see this afternoon 436 00:24:15,845 --> 00:24:17,281 are the cream of the crop. 437 00:24:17,325 --> 00:24:19,458 Uh, the first one is Miss Werner. 438 00:24:19,501 --> 00:24:21,068 BUDDY: She's outside now, waiting for me. 439 00:24:21,111 --> 00:24:22,765 Yeah, you'll like her. 440 00:24:22,809 --> 00:24:24,593 But, the second one, Miss Jacqueline... 441 00:24:24,637 --> 00:24:26,247 Now, this is a class act. 442 00:24:26,290 --> 00:24:28,771 I know what was wrong before. 443 00:24:28,815 --> 00:24:30,817 I was too aggressive. 444 00:24:30,860 --> 00:24:33,602 I have a very good feeling about these two ladies. 445 00:24:33,646 --> 00:24:35,735 I hope so, Buddy, because this is it. 446 00:24:35,778 --> 00:24:37,171 I'm a lawyer, not a pimp. 447 00:24:38,215 --> 00:24:40,043 Right. 448 00:24:40,087 --> 00:24:41,480 Kurt... 449 00:24:42,132 --> 00:24:43,525 Listen to this. 450 00:24:46,006 --> 00:24:47,094 Quinby. 451 00:24:47,660 --> 00:24:49,400 What? 452 00:24:49,444 --> 00:24:51,054 Quinby. 453 00:24:51,098 --> 00:24:52,839 "Quinby"? 454 00:24:52,882 --> 00:24:54,449 BUDDY: It's a Scandinavian name. 455 00:24:57,496 --> 00:24:59,715 It's from Scandinavia. 456 00:24:59,759 --> 00:25:01,717 [DIAL TONE] 457 00:25:01,761 --> 00:25:03,371 Kurt? 458 00:25:13,120 --> 00:25:15,165 Quinby? 459 00:25:15,209 --> 00:25:17,385 Hi. 460 00:25:17,428 --> 00:25:19,300 It's Daddy. I'm home. 461 00:25:26,481 --> 00:25:27,917 Laurie. 462 00:25:27,961 --> 00:25:30,398 Tell Miss, uh, Werner to come in, please. 463 00:25:31,225 --> 00:25:32,531 Thank you. 464 00:25:33,575 --> 00:25:34,881 [DOOR OPENS] 465 00:25:35,838 --> 00:25:37,187 Hi. 466 00:25:39,102 --> 00:25:40,539 Hello. 467 00:25:45,544 --> 00:25:48,459 I'd like to make this as pleasant as possible. 468 00:25:48,503 --> 00:25:49,896 Wonderful. 469 00:25:49,939 --> 00:25:51,811 Um, sit down. Thank you. 470 00:25:53,247 --> 00:25:55,466 [CHUCKLES] 471 00:25:55,510 --> 00:25:57,730 Oh, I was just looking at this book here 472 00:25:57,773 --> 00:25:59,296 Of children's names. 473 00:26:01,037 --> 00:26:02,822 Quinby. 474 00:26:02,865 --> 00:26:05,259 How do you like that? 475 00:26:05,302 --> 00:26:07,261 Quinby. 476 00:26:07,304 --> 00:26:08,741 It sucks. 477 00:26:18,489 --> 00:26:20,970 What are those? 478 00:26:21,014 --> 00:26:23,843 What are what? Those things on your teeth. 479 00:26:23,886 --> 00:26:25,584 [LISPING] They're braces. 480 00:26:25,627 --> 00:26:28,369 I know they're braces. But do you have to wear them? 481 00:26:28,412 --> 00:26:31,502 No. They're the latest in costume jewelry. 482 00:26:31,546 --> 00:26:33,417 Of course I have to wear them. 483 00:26:37,247 --> 00:26:38,771 I see. 484 00:26:40,947 --> 00:26:42,557 Well, it's just that... 485 00:26:42,601 --> 00:26:45,995 I don't want my son to look like Jaws 2. [CHUCKLES] 486 00:26:46,039 --> 00:26:47,388 [CHUCKLES] 487 00:26:47,431 --> 00:26:49,956 Well, he could end up with your forehead. 488 00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:54,177 What's wrong with my forehead? 489 00:26:54,221 --> 00:26:56,745 Look at those lines. What lines? 490 00:26:56,789 --> 00:26:58,791 Looks like it's suffering from erosion. 491 00:27:00,140 --> 00:27:02,011 As long as we're talking about looks, 492 00:27:02,055 --> 00:27:04,361 your nose isn't exactly classic. 493 00:27:04,405 --> 00:27:06,059 Has anyone ever suggested 494 00:27:06,102 --> 00:27:08,148 that you plant corn in your eyebrows? 495 00:27:08,191 --> 00:27:09,497 My eyebrows are fine. 496 00:27:09,540 --> 00:27:11,325 Sure. If you're into wildlife. 497 00:27:12,282 --> 00:27:13,806 That's very amusing. 498 00:27:13,849 --> 00:27:15,285 Thank you. 499 00:27:15,329 --> 00:27:17,113 As long as we're talking about hair, 500 00:27:17,157 --> 00:27:20,073 about that mat on your head... 501 00:27:20,116 --> 00:27:21,727 What about it? 502 00:27:21,770 --> 00:27:23,816 Well, do you shampoo it, 503 00:27:23,859 --> 00:27:27,384 or do you have it crop-dusted? 504 00:27:27,428 --> 00:27:28,690 [SNICKERING] 505 00:27:32,651 --> 00:27:35,610 That is the rudest man I have ever met. 506 00:27:35,654 --> 00:27:37,177 Please, forgive him. 507 00:27:37,220 --> 00:27:39,092 This is very important to him. 508 00:27:39,135 --> 00:27:41,137 I can understand about my braces. 509 00:27:41,181 --> 00:27:43,879 But there is nothing wrong with my nose. 510 00:27:43,923 --> 00:27:46,403 It's a terrific nose. I'm Miss Lofton, 511 00:27:46,447 --> 00:27:48,405 I'm the interior decorator that Mr. Evans hired, 512 00:27:48,449 --> 00:27:49,885 to do a room in his apartment. 513 00:27:49,929 --> 00:27:52,453 I don't have an appointment, but, um, what if I... 514 00:27:52,496 --> 00:27:54,716 Oh, well, there's his secretary, there. Laurie! 515 00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:57,501 Yes. Hi. I'm Jenny Lofton, the decorator. 516 00:27:57,545 --> 00:27:59,068 Hi. Do you have an appointment? 517 00:27:59,112 --> 00:28:02,463 No. But he called me last week about doing a room 518 00:28:02,506 --> 00:28:05,031 in his apartment, and I think I better meet him. 519 00:28:05,074 --> 00:28:06,815 I had a few minutes, that was it. 520 00:28:06,859 --> 00:28:08,904 I'm sorry. I can't let you in without an appointment. 521 00:28:08,948 --> 00:28:10,993 Why don't you just let me just pop in, okay? 522 00:28:11,037 --> 00:28:12,429 [SOBBING] Okay. 523 00:28:12,473 --> 00:28:14,867 MISS WERNER: [CRYING] Quinby sucks! 524 00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:18,653 Mr. Evans? Whoa. 525 00:28:22,788 --> 00:28:25,921 Hi. I'm Jenny. I know. 526 00:28:25,965 --> 00:28:28,968 I mean, I know who you are. I've been expecting you. 527 00:28:29,011 --> 00:28:30,796 You have? 528 00:28:30,839 --> 00:28:31,840 Yeah. 529 00:28:33,537 --> 00:28:35,104 Make yourself at home. 530 00:28:35,148 --> 00:28:36,497 Thank you. 531 00:28:38,412 --> 00:28:40,675 Is that Fordham? Yeah. 532 00:28:40,719 --> 00:28:42,895 Listen, I'm sorry if this seems a little rushed, 533 00:28:42,938 --> 00:28:45,375 but I'm suppose to be meeting my aunt downtown. 534 00:28:45,419 --> 00:28:48,117 She's getting a big award from her union today. 535 00:28:48,161 --> 00:28:50,772 They're going around Manhattan on this boat. 536 00:28:50,816 --> 00:28:52,556 The Circle Line. 537 00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:54,733 You did go to Fordham. I went to Columbia. 538 00:28:54,776 --> 00:28:58,432 Good. That's very good. I like that. 539 00:28:58,475 --> 00:28:59,607 I liked it, too. 540 00:29:05,134 --> 00:29:06,353 Quinby. 541 00:29:09,443 --> 00:29:10,661 Quinby. 542 00:29:10,705 --> 00:29:13,273 No, thanks. I never drink on the job. 543 00:29:13,316 --> 00:29:15,405 It's not a drink. It's a boy's name. 544 00:29:18,365 --> 00:29:20,019 Quinby. Huh. 545 00:29:20,062 --> 00:29:21,368 Hmm. 546 00:29:25,198 --> 00:29:26,634 You know what it means? 547 00:29:28,679 --> 00:29:31,291 "From the woman's womb." It's Scandinavian. 548 00:29:34,598 --> 00:29:38,037 That makes sense. Yeah. 549 00:29:38,080 --> 00:29:41,040 Let's not get all fouled up In this sexual mystique. 550 00:29:41,083 --> 00:29:43,303 It's a business transaction, cut and dry. 551 00:29:43,346 --> 00:29:44,870 Boy, am I glad you said that. 552 00:29:46,436 --> 00:29:48,874 I can't tell you how many men take it for granted... 553 00:29:48,917 --> 00:29:51,615 Just throw those thoughts right out of your head.Thank you. 554 00:29:51,659 --> 00:29:54,575 You come here, you do a service, I pay you for it. 555 00:29:54,618 --> 00:29:56,098 Right. 556 00:29:56,142 --> 00:29:58,100 Completely unemotional. Completely. 557 00:30:01,625 --> 00:30:02,888 May I see your breasts? 558 00:30:05,194 --> 00:30:07,196 What? 559 00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:10,504 It's without any sexual stimulation. No emotion. 560 00:30:10,547 --> 00:30:12,375 We're talking about tools of the trade. 561 00:30:13,420 --> 00:30:15,422 When you look at my... 562 00:30:16,292 --> 00:30:18,642 Oh, God. 563 00:30:18,686 --> 00:30:20,644 I want to be completely open about this. 564 00:30:21,863 --> 00:30:23,952 When you look at my genitals, 565 00:30:23,996 --> 00:30:26,346 you're not looking at my genitals. 566 00:30:26,389 --> 00:30:29,044 Think of them as a potato peeler. 567 00:30:29,088 --> 00:30:30,219 [EXHALES] 568 00:30:31,699 --> 00:30:33,527 Maybe not a potato peeler. 569 00:30:42,014 --> 00:30:43,929 Don't forget your 2:00 meeting. 570 00:31:09,476 --> 00:31:10,956 Mr. Evans! 571 00:31:10,999 --> 00:31:12,305 Back at 2:00! 572 00:31:30,497 --> 00:31:31,759 Hi, folks. 573 00:31:31,802 --> 00:31:33,239 Bank and Hudson. Follow that cab. 574 00:31:33,282 --> 00:31:34,631 Bank and Hudson. Will you follow the cab. 575 00:31:34,675 --> 00:31:36,242 Bank and Hudson. It's an emergency. 576 00:31:36,285 --> 00:31:38,113 I'm not getting out. Fine. I'll drop you off. 577 00:31:38,157 --> 00:31:40,986 Hey, folks, I'll follow that cab. 578 00:31:43,292 --> 00:31:44,815 BUDDY: Step on it! 579 00:31:44,859 --> 00:31:46,817 CAB DRIVER: I'm going as fast as the law permits, sir. 580 00:31:46,861 --> 00:31:48,167 I won the Auto Company Award 581 00:31:48,210 --> 00:31:50,299 for most courteous cabdriver in the city. 582 00:31:50,343 --> 00:31:51,474 Three years running. 583 00:31:51,518 --> 00:31:52,954 BUDDY: No kidding. 584 00:31:54,608 --> 00:31:55,696 I really appreciate this. 585 00:31:55,739 --> 00:31:57,567 As soon as we can catch that cab, 586 00:31:57,611 --> 00:31:59,613 drop me off. Go where you wanna go 587 00:31:59,656 --> 00:32:01,006 and I'll pay for it. 588 00:32:01,049 --> 00:32:02,659 No, I have three students waiting. 589 00:32:02,703 --> 00:32:04,531 It's $20 per half hour. 590 00:32:04,574 --> 00:32:06,402 I'll pay for everything. 591 00:32:06,446 --> 00:32:07,751 Red light. 592 00:32:07,795 --> 00:32:09,318 BUDDY: It's not a red light. That's a yellow light. 593 00:32:10,493 --> 00:32:12,495 Look, they're all running it. You run it. 594 00:32:12,539 --> 00:32:14,019 CAB DRIVER: I can't break the law, sir. 595 00:32:14,062 --> 00:32:16,282 I've never had a moving violation. 596 00:32:16,325 --> 00:32:17,936 BUDDY: Of course you've never had a moving violation. 597 00:32:17,979 --> 00:32:20,503 You can't get a moving violation. Unless you're moving! 598 00:32:20,547 --> 00:32:23,158 CAB DRIVER: It's green. Here we go. 599 00:32:23,202 --> 00:32:25,160 We're losing it. We're losing the taxi. 600 00:32:25,204 --> 00:32:26,683 Who are we losing? 601 00:32:26,727 --> 00:32:29,860 We're losing mother of my future child. 602 00:32:29,904 --> 00:32:31,732 Hey. Don't I know you from someplace? 603 00:32:31,775 --> 00:32:33,690 MAGGIE: Yeah. The coffee shop, Woodson's. 604 00:32:33,734 --> 00:32:34,909 I'm Maggie. 605 00:32:34,953 --> 00:32:36,389 CAB DRIVER: Hi, Maggie. I'm Randy. 606 00:32:36,432 --> 00:32:37,694 BUDDY: Who cares? 607 00:33:03,720 --> 00:33:05,113 WOMAN: Thank you very much. 608 00:33:05,157 --> 00:33:07,420 Ladies and gentlemen, 609 00:33:07,463 --> 00:33:11,293 today, before we go out on our annual outing... 610 00:33:11,337 --> 00:33:13,817 Those people are walking faster than us. 611 00:33:13,861 --> 00:33:15,819 There's an old lady just ran right by us. 612 00:33:15,863 --> 00:33:18,605 You just sit back, relax and enjoy the view. 613 00:33:18,648 --> 00:33:20,520 BUDDY: Hold it! Make a U-turn. 614 00:33:20,563 --> 00:33:22,739 She said she was going to the circle line. 615 00:33:24,350 --> 00:33:28,571 CAB DRIVER: [SINGING] ♪ I love New York ♪ 616 00:33:28,615 --> 00:33:32,010 ♪ I love New York ♪ 617 00:33:33,446 --> 00:33:34,447 RANDY: Red light! 618 00:33:35,361 --> 00:33:37,493 I would like to present 619 00:33:37,537 --> 00:33:41,019 the award for lifelong service 620 00:33:41,062 --> 00:33:43,021 to Ethel Lofton. 621 00:33:43,064 --> 00:33:44,544 [APPLAUDING AND CHEERING] 622 00:33:46,981 --> 00:33:48,635 [PEOPLE SHOUTING] 623 00:33:53,118 --> 00:33:55,511 After I started in ladies' undergarments 624 00:33:55,555 --> 00:33:57,122 way back, 625 00:33:57,165 --> 00:33:58,775 my mother, God rest her soul, 626 00:33:58,819 --> 00:34:00,821 had only one thing to say to me, 627 00:34:00,864 --> 00:34:02,127 "Why?" 628 00:34:02,170 --> 00:34:03,128 [ALL LAUGHING] 629 00:34:04,912 --> 00:34:06,218 Thank you, Ethel. [INAUDIBLE] 630 00:34:09,395 --> 00:34:11,527 Uh, ladies, um... 631 00:34:11,571 --> 00:34:13,225 You're paying for this boat by the hour. 632 00:34:13,268 --> 00:34:14,878 So enough talk. Let's get a move on. 633 00:34:16,837 --> 00:34:18,839 [WORKERS SINGING LABOR SONG] 634 00:34:26,064 --> 00:34:27,152 BUDDY: Can you go a little faster? 635 00:34:27,195 --> 00:34:28,501 Just a little faster? 636 00:34:28,544 --> 00:34:30,546 RANDY: I never exceed 35 miles per hour. 637 00:34:30,590 --> 00:34:31,678 It's the law. 638 00:34:31,721 --> 00:34:33,245 BUDDY: What law? This is New York. 639 00:34:33,288 --> 00:34:34,681 [CARS HONKING] 640 00:34:38,337 --> 00:34:40,078 Jenny! [SINGING CONTINUES] 641 00:34:40,121 --> 00:34:42,689 Am I glad to see you. 642 00:34:42,732 --> 00:34:44,343 There's a crazy man following me. 643 00:34:44,386 --> 00:34:45,518 Where? In a taxi. 644 00:34:45,561 --> 00:34:46,997 He's been following me all day. 645 00:34:47,041 --> 00:34:48,999 Ethel, I don't think we ought to stand here. 646 00:34:49,043 --> 00:34:50,175 Come on. Get on the boat. 647 00:34:50,218 --> 00:34:51,741 MAN: No one on without a button. 648 00:34:53,874 --> 00:34:55,615 RANDY: What a terrific day. 649 00:34:55,658 --> 00:34:58,313 I really enjoy meeting new people. 650 00:34:58,357 --> 00:35:00,185 Curb side is the safe side. 651 00:35:00,228 --> 00:35:02,100 [GROANS] Give me a break, Raymond. 652 00:35:02,143 --> 00:35:03,579 Thank you for not slamming the door. 653 00:35:03,623 --> 00:35:04,667 Have a nice day. 654 00:35:04,711 --> 00:35:06,234 Hey, he took my horn! 655 00:35:06,278 --> 00:35:09,368 All aboard for this once-in-a-lifetime tour 656 00:35:09,411 --> 00:35:11,500 around glorious Manhattan island. 657 00:35:13,546 --> 00:35:15,025 Jenny! 658 00:35:16,114 --> 00:35:17,724 [INDISTINCT CONVERSATION] 659 00:35:20,683 --> 00:35:21,902 You're what? 660 00:35:21,945 --> 00:35:24,078 Okay, ladies, we're almost on our way. 661 00:35:24,122 --> 00:35:25,297 Step lively! 662 00:35:35,220 --> 00:35:36,873 Hey, where's your button? 663 00:35:36,917 --> 00:35:38,397 I lost it. 664 00:35:38,440 --> 00:35:40,834 Jenny! [LAUGHING] 665 00:35:40,877 --> 00:35:42,836 Jenny! Jenny! 666 00:35:42,879 --> 00:35:44,533 Jenny! Jenny! I'm getting off the boat. 667 00:35:46,100 --> 00:35:48,015 I didn't mean the crack about the breasts! 668 00:36:14,259 --> 00:36:15,782 MAGGIE: There you are! 669 00:36:15,825 --> 00:36:17,566 You've got my horn. 670 00:36:17,610 --> 00:36:18,959 Mr. Evans! 671 00:36:24,225 --> 00:36:25,661 We're not talking about 672 00:36:25,705 --> 00:36:27,968 tone-deaf children from Westchester. 673 00:36:28,011 --> 00:36:30,013 Tuffy Daniels has promise. 674 00:36:30,057 --> 00:36:32,146 Now, Joey has a slight embouchure problem. 675 00:36:32,190 --> 00:36:33,582 You know, the muscles that form the mouth. 676 00:36:33,626 --> 00:36:35,932 That Darby kid is a little screwed up, 677 00:36:35,976 --> 00:36:38,587 but today is the first lesson that I've missed. 678 00:36:38,631 --> 00:36:40,676 I... I can't afford this. 679 00:36:40,720 --> 00:36:44,332 Mr. Evans, I just can't afford this. 680 00:36:44,376 --> 00:36:46,334 CAPTAIN: I want you to look right over there. 681 00:36:46,378 --> 00:36:49,163 There. See? Beth Israel Hospital. 682 00:36:49,207 --> 00:36:52,210 I had my gallbladder out there in '62. 683 00:36:52,253 --> 00:36:53,646 Terrific hospital. 684 00:36:53,689 --> 00:36:55,648 Fantastic nurses. 685 00:36:55,691 --> 00:36:57,171 Clean. 686 00:36:57,215 --> 00:36:58,738 Food... 687 00:36:58,781 --> 00:37:00,218 It's kind of atrocious, 688 00:37:00,261 --> 00:37:01,915 but it's better than over in Jersey. 689 00:37:01,958 --> 00:37:03,525 Never get sick in Jersey. 690 00:37:03,569 --> 00:37:06,180 Hospitals in Jersey... They stink. 691 00:37:07,529 --> 00:37:09,314 You really love her, don't you? 692 00:37:10,706 --> 00:37:11,838 Who? 693 00:37:11,881 --> 00:37:13,056 Jenny. 694 00:37:16,669 --> 00:37:17,974 Jenny who? 695 00:37:18,018 --> 00:37:20,977 The Jenny we've been chasing all afternoon. 696 00:37:22,152 --> 00:37:23,458 I don't even know her. 697 00:37:23,502 --> 00:37:25,373 But you said she was the mother of your child. 698 00:37:25,417 --> 00:37:26,940 Supposed to be. 699 00:37:26,983 --> 00:37:28,768 I don't get this. 700 00:37:31,031 --> 00:37:32,641 She's a surrogate mother. 701 00:37:32,685 --> 00:37:33,903 [HORN TOOTING] 702 00:37:33,947 --> 00:37:36,776 Oh. Oh, you mean she's going to have your baby. 703 00:37:37,298 --> 00:37:38,778 Not anymore. 704 00:37:38,821 --> 00:37:40,693 I'm not gonna have a baby with a woman like that. 705 00:37:40,736 --> 00:37:42,260 Too temperamental. 706 00:37:42,303 --> 00:37:43,783 Just mention the word breasts, 707 00:37:43,826 --> 00:37:45,088 she goes bananas. 708 00:37:45,132 --> 00:37:46,742 What's your name, again? Maggie. 709 00:37:46,786 --> 00:37:48,396 That's right. Maggie. Right. 710 00:37:49,441 --> 00:37:51,312 Why don't you just get married? 711 00:37:51,356 --> 00:37:52,835 I don't want a wife. 712 00:37:52,879 --> 00:37:54,576 I want a son. 713 00:37:55,969 --> 00:37:57,275 What for? 714 00:37:59,929 --> 00:38:01,104 For me. 715 00:38:02,454 --> 00:38:04,282 For history. You know. 716 00:38:05,195 --> 00:38:06,849 And I want something that says, 717 00:38:06,893 --> 00:38:08,329 "Buddy Evans was here." 718 00:38:09,939 --> 00:38:11,898 Well, there's a whole boatload of people 719 00:38:11,941 --> 00:38:13,769 that will remember you forever. 720 00:38:15,031 --> 00:38:16,729 You wouldn't understand. You're too young. 721 00:38:16,772 --> 00:38:18,470 Age has nothing to do with it. 722 00:38:18,513 --> 00:38:20,863 I can understand your wanting to have a child. 723 00:38:20,907 --> 00:38:22,952 A lot of people want that experience 724 00:38:22,996 --> 00:38:24,780 sometime in their lives, 725 00:38:24,824 --> 00:38:26,434 even me. 726 00:38:26,478 --> 00:38:27,696 But... 727 00:38:27,740 --> 00:38:29,132 I don't wanna get married 728 00:38:29,176 --> 00:38:31,570 or have anything to do with kids really. 729 00:38:31,613 --> 00:38:33,963 I... I can't handle children. 730 00:38:36,139 --> 00:38:38,141 CAPTAIN: Okay, now we're coming up 731 00:38:38,185 --> 00:38:40,013 on the United Nations 732 00:38:40,056 --> 00:38:43,233 where they do all that world stuff, 733 00:38:43,277 --> 00:38:45,453 but first, I want you to look over there 734 00:38:45,497 --> 00:38:47,325 to the Bellevue Hospital. 735 00:38:47,368 --> 00:38:50,240 I had a herniated disc fixed up there. 736 00:38:50,284 --> 00:38:52,460 Top-class doctors. Top-class. 737 00:38:52,504 --> 00:38:54,375 I got lucky. I had an oriental. 738 00:38:54,419 --> 00:38:56,638 Take my advice. You got a herniated disc, 739 00:38:56,682 --> 00:38:59,032 get yourself an oriental. 740 00:38:59,075 --> 00:39:00,947 Okay, that's $60 for the students, 741 00:39:00,990 --> 00:39:03,819 $20 for Mrs. Darby, $23 for the cab, 742 00:39:03,863 --> 00:39:04,951 including the tip, 743 00:39:04,994 --> 00:39:09,085 and then $25,000 to have your child. 744 00:39:09,129 --> 00:39:12,567 Do you think $25,000 is a lot of money? 745 00:39:14,787 --> 00:39:16,615 Yes. 746 00:39:16,658 --> 00:39:19,487 Yes. $25,000 is an enormous amount of money. 747 00:39:21,924 --> 00:39:24,187 It's not an enormous amount, but... 748 00:39:26,407 --> 00:39:28,931 $50,000 is an enormous amount of money. 749 00:39:32,108 --> 00:39:33,632 CAPTAIN: Now, folks, you can't see it, 750 00:39:33,675 --> 00:39:34,981 but way over there to the west 751 00:39:35,024 --> 00:39:36,678 is Roosevelt Hospital. 752 00:39:36,722 --> 00:39:38,027 That's where my brother-in-law 753 00:39:38,071 --> 00:39:40,073 had his nasal polyps removed. 754 00:39:40,116 --> 00:39:43,555 Now, Roosevelt Hospital is okay in my book. 755 00:39:43,598 --> 00:39:45,470 And if the west side hospitals 756 00:39:45,513 --> 00:39:47,515 are not quite up to the east side hospitals, 757 00:39:47,559 --> 00:39:49,387 they're still not as bad 758 00:39:49,430 --> 00:39:51,389 as the hospitals over in Jersey. 759 00:39:52,868 --> 00:39:54,783 I can't emphasize strongly enough that there'll be 760 00:39:54,827 --> 00:39:57,220 no emotional involvement whatsoever. 761 00:39:57,264 --> 00:39:58,874 Whoa! 762 00:39:59,919 --> 00:40:01,181 Gonna eat that? 763 00:40:01,224 --> 00:40:03,488 It's full of preservatives. 764 00:40:03,531 --> 00:40:06,447 Do you know how many preservatives are in here? Huh? 765 00:40:06,491 --> 00:40:07,709 Put this on the railing. 766 00:40:07,753 --> 00:40:09,102 Come back 23 years from now. 767 00:40:09,145 --> 00:40:10,408 The boat will be gone. 768 00:40:10,451 --> 00:40:12,235 That'll still be sitting there, ready to eat. 769 00:40:12,279 --> 00:40:14,281 That's how many preservatives are in there. 770 00:40:14,324 --> 00:40:16,109 Do I have to live with you? 771 00:40:18,677 --> 00:40:21,244 You don't have to live in the same bedroom or anything. 772 00:40:21,288 --> 00:40:23,290 I got a room. 773 00:40:23,333 --> 00:40:25,118 I've redone it and everything. 774 00:40:30,079 --> 00:40:31,907 I don't anticipate any real problem. 775 00:40:31,951 --> 00:40:33,474 It's a very simple contract. 776 00:40:33,518 --> 00:40:34,997 It's more of a rider, really. 777 00:40:35,041 --> 00:40:36,608 I've laid it out. 778 00:40:36,651 --> 00:40:37,870 When you talk to Maggie, 779 00:40:37,913 --> 00:40:39,524 I want you to talk very slowly. 780 00:40:39,567 --> 00:40:41,134 She's naive about contracts. 781 00:40:41,177 --> 00:40:42,788 I don't wanna be pushy with her, all right? 782 00:40:42,831 --> 00:40:43,876 Carlos! Yo. 783 00:40:43,919 --> 00:40:45,399 I want the circus in 11 hours! 784 00:40:45,443 --> 00:40:46,748 Evans, we can do it in ten. 785 00:40:46,792 --> 00:40:47,880 You can do it in nine! 786 00:40:47,923 --> 00:40:49,447 Ah. Okay, you got it. 787 00:40:49,490 --> 00:40:51,013 BUDDY: Remember, she's inexperienced, 788 00:40:51,057 --> 00:40:52,537 So don't be too assertive. 789 00:40:52,580 --> 00:40:54,321 Good morning. I just said that. 790 00:40:55,235 --> 00:40:56,932 Did you? 791 00:40:56,976 --> 00:40:58,238 [WHISPERS] Be serious. 792 00:40:58,281 --> 00:41:00,153 Don't smile at them. 793 00:41:00,196 --> 00:41:01,720 Keep your hands like this. 794 00:41:01,763 --> 00:41:03,286 No, don't keep them... 795 00:41:03,896 --> 00:41:05,419 Morning, Maggie. 796 00:41:05,463 --> 00:41:07,769 This is Ms. Kursahn, my lawyer. 797 00:41:07,813 --> 00:41:09,379 Lawyer. 798 00:41:09,423 --> 00:41:11,381 You're six minutes late, Mr. Evans. 799 00:41:11,425 --> 00:41:12,644 I trust in the future 800 00:41:12,687 --> 00:41:14,646 you'll act in a more professional manner. 801 00:41:15,734 --> 00:41:16,952 I'll try. 802 00:41:16,996 --> 00:41:19,651 We've prepared a psychological profile. 803 00:41:19,694 --> 00:41:21,609 A psychological profile. 804 00:41:22,697 --> 00:41:24,177 Just certain questions 805 00:41:24,220 --> 00:41:26,745 for the purpose of protecting my client. 806 00:41:26,788 --> 00:41:28,486 Well, I have nothing to hide. 807 00:41:29,443 --> 00:41:31,358 Any history of homosexuality, 808 00:41:32,315 --> 00:41:34,883 sado-masochism, necrophilia? 809 00:41:34,927 --> 00:41:36,885 Any history of insanity in your family? 810 00:41:36,929 --> 00:41:38,452 Of course not. 811 00:41:42,282 --> 00:41:43,936 Why are you asking these questions? 812 00:41:43,979 --> 00:41:45,372 You asked me. 813 00:41:45,415 --> 00:41:46,634 I didn't know you. 814 00:41:46,678 --> 00:41:48,201 Well, I don't know you either. 815 00:41:48,244 --> 00:41:50,203 I have an office. I have a secretary. 816 00:41:50,246 --> 00:41:53,336 I'm sure lots of necrophiliacs have secretaries. 817 00:41:53,380 --> 00:41:54,773 That's true. 818 00:41:55,948 --> 00:41:58,298 Now, we would like to determine 819 00:41:58,341 --> 00:42:00,387 the number of impregnation attempts 820 00:42:00,430 --> 00:42:02,345 before charging additionally. 821 00:42:02,389 --> 00:42:03,564 Charged for what? 822 00:42:03,608 --> 00:42:05,087 In case you fail. 823 00:42:06,480 --> 00:42:07,525 Fail? [CHUCKLES] 824 00:42:07,568 --> 00:42:08,917 In case I fail. 825 00:42:08,961 --> 00:42:10,136 [BOTH CHUCKLE] 826 00:42:10,179 --> 00:42:12,225 Well, there are certain possibilities. 827 00:42:12,268 --> 00:42:13,705 Such as? 828 00:42:13,748 --> 00:42:15,271 Um... Sterility. 829 00:42:15,315 --> 00:42:16,838 Premature ejaculation. 830 00:42:16,882 --> 00:42:17,839 Uh, impotence. 831 00:42:20,886 --> 00:42:22,104 Oh. 832 00:42:23,541 --> 00:42:24,759 MAGGIE: Over the course of history, 833 00:42:24,803 --> 00:42:26,544 it has been known to happen, Mr. Evans. 834 00:42:26,587 --> 00:42:28,546 Not over the course of my history. 835 00:42:29,329 --> 00:42:30,504 May we continue? 836 00:42:30,548 --> 00:42:31,766 The next thing you know, 837 00:42:31,810 --> 00:42:33,507 they're gonna be asking me to take my pants down. 838 00:42:33,551 --> 00:42:35,857 Oh. Not yet. 839 00:42:35,901 --> 00:42:38,077 I think it's good to get these things out in the open. 840 00:42:41,689 --> 00:42:43,865 This stuff is fascinating. 841 00:42:43,909 --> 00:42:45,388 "In some countries, 842 00:42:45,432 --> 00:42:46,694 "its still widely believed 843 00:42:46,738 --> 00:42:48,696 "that a bath in baking-soda, 844 00:42:48,740 --> 00:42:50,785 "prior to the act of lovemaking, 845 00:42:50,829 --> 00:42:53,135 "will promote the birth of a male offspring." 846 00:42:53,179 --> 00:42:54,833 Did you know that? 847 00:42:54,876 --> 00:42:56,878 What are you doing to these plants? 848 00:42:56,922 --> 00:42:58,010 This is incredible. 849 00:42:58,053 --> 00:42:59,620 "If you want to assure a male child, 850 00:42:59,664 --> 00:43:01,361 "you make love standing up." 851 00:43:01,404 --> 00:43:03,929 What's all the carrying on about? 852 00:43:03,972 --> 00:43:05,887 Why don't you just jump in the sack 853 00:43:05,931 --> 00:43:07,889 and make yourselves a baby? 854 00:43:07,933 --> 00:43:09,717 Jump in the sack? 855 00:43:09,761 --> 00:43:12,024 We're talking about creating a baby here, 856 00:43:12,067 --> 00:43:14,374 not just jumping in the sack as you so elegantly put it. 857 00:43:14,417 --> 00:43:16,202 This is a scientific venture. 858 00:43:16,245 --> 00:43:18,639 Scientific venture? 859 00:43:18,683 --> 00:43:21,686 Boy, you sure are a cold fish. 860 00:43:21,729 --> 00:43:22,861 Don't you call me that. 861 00:43:22,904 --> 00:43:24,776 Come in here. I wanna show you something. 862 00:43:24,819 --> 00:43:26,168 This stuff is fascinating. 863 00:43:26,212 --> 00:43:28,344 Did you know that, "Wearing of loose underwear 864 00:43:28,388 --> 00:43:30,216 "increases the chances of conception?" 865 00:43:30,259 --> 00:43:32,479 So does the wearing of no underwear. 866 00:43:32,522 --> 00:43:35,047 BUDDY: Also, "The pain of childbirth 867 00:43:35,090 --> 00:43:37,527 "is no longer a medical matter. 868 00:43:37,571 --> 00:43:39,138 "It's a scientific fact." 869 00:43:39,181 --> 00:43:40,618 You see, 870 00:43:40,661 --> 00:43:43,316 you can't even get your guppies to fool around. 871 00:43:43,359 --> 00:43:45,797 They're young. Give them a chance. 872 00:43:45,840 --> 00:43:47,450 Are you changing my tie again? 873 00:43:47,494 --> 00:43:49,322 Yes. 874 00:43:49,365 --> 00:43:51,411 This is fascinating reading. Hear this. 875 00:43:51,454 --> 00:43:52,673 If you wanna be positive 876 00:43:52,717 --> 00:43:54,327 that you're gonna have a male child, 877 00:43:54,370 --> 00:43:56,068 you have to make love standing up. 878 00:43:56,851 --> 00:43:58,070 Oh, really? Yeah. 879 00:43:58,113 --> 00:43:59,811 You wanna know the reason why?No. 880 00:43:59,854 --> 00:44:00,942 I'll tell you the reason. 881 00:44:00,986 --> 00:44:02,117 The reason being that, 882 00:44:02,161 --> 00:44:04,554 "the sperm carrying the male sex factor 883 00:44:04,598 --> 00:44:05,947 "is stronger at first 884 00:44:05,991 --> 00:44:08,733 "than the sperm carrying the female sex factor." 885 00:44:08,776 --> 00:44:10,865 The only factor I know about 886 00:44:10,909 --> 00:44:12,867 is when you hold a baby up 887 00:44:12,911 --> 00:44:14,652 and there's a factor hanging down, 888 00:44:14,695 --> 00:44:15,870 it's a boy. 889 00:44:15,914 --> 00:44:18,090 If there isn't, it's a girl. 890 00:44:18,133 --> 00:44:19,439 Cute. 891 00:44:19,482 --> 00:44:21,180 "It's a scientific fact 892 00:44:21,223 --> 00:44:23,312 "that the male sperm swims faster 893 00:44:23,356 --> 00:44:24,879 "than the female sperm." 894 00:44:24,923 --> 00:44:26,098 Oh? Mmm-hmm. 895 00:44:26,141 --> 00:44:27,142 What do they do, 896 00:44:28,013 --> 00:44:30,363 have a race? [LAUGHING] 897 00:44:34,236 --> 00:44:35,585 Hello, babies! 898 00:44:36,804 --> 00:44:38,458 Hello, my little babies. 899 00:44:39,328 --> 00:44:40,678 Hello, my little... 900 00:44:48,555 --> 00:44:49,774 Baby? 901 00:44:51,776 --> 00:44:53,603 [TRUMPET PLAYING POORLY] 902 00:45:09,271 --> 00:45:10,533 I never knew anybody 903 00:45:10,577 --> 00:45:12,884 who got pregnant on purpose before. 904 00:45:12,927 --> 00:45:14,668 You think I'm crazy, don't you? 905 00:45:14,712 --> 00:45:16,844 No. It's a lot of money. 906 00:45:16,888 --> 00:45:19,194 I can't tell whether I'm undecided or not. 907 00:45:19,238 --> 00:45:21,109 The deadline's next week. 908 00:45:21,153 --> 00:45:22,371 [TRUMPET CONTINUES PLAYING] 909 00:45:24,547 --> 00:45:26,506 I mean, I guess it's no big deal. 910 00:45:29,465 --> 00:45:30,902 He seems really straight. 911 00:45:30,945 --> 00:45:32,512 He's got a lawyer and a contract and everything. 912 00:45:32,555 --> 00:45:34,296 We won't get all hot and heavy. 913 00:45:37,996 --> 00:45:40,563 And, it's gonna be 914 00:45:40,607 --> 00:45:42,740 totally unemotional. 915 00:45:44,654 --> 00:45:45,917 The last thing I need right now 916 00:45:45,960 --> 00:45:47,483 is to get involved with some guy. 917 00:45:47,527 --> 00:45:49,964 [LAUGHS] It's the last thing I need. 918 00:45:50,704 --> 00:45:52,097 [ELECTRONIC SOUND] 919 00:45:52,140 --> 00:45:53,315 MAGGIE: What is that? 920 00:45:53,359 --> 00:45:54,752 BUDDY: It's the sounds of nature 921 00:45:54,795 --> 00:45:56,928 during the time of conception. 922 00:45:56,971 --> 00:45:59,104 It makes all the difference in the world. 923 00:45:59,147 --> 00:46:00,627 MAGGIE: You're kidding? 924 00:46:00,670 --> 00:46:03,499 BUDDY: It's the sound of the blue whale in love. 925 00:46:03,543 --> 00:46:05,327 My favorite. 926 00:46:05,371 --> 00:46:07,155 Listen. I wanna make something 927 00:46:07,199 --> 00:46:09,418 very clear to you. 928 00:46:09,462 --> 00:46:11,551 This is a business transaction. 929 00:46:11,594 --> 00:46:12,639 [WHALE MOANING] 930 00:46:12,682 --> 00:46:14,772 Nothing emotional involved. 931 00:46:16,338 --> 00:46:17,775 Check. 932 00:46:20,952 --> 00:46:22,257 Mmm. [LAUGHS] 933 00:46:22,301 --> 00:46:23,737 It's freezing. 934 00:46:24,607 --> 00:46:26,174 It's the mirror. 935 00:46:26,218 --> 00:46:27,349 They're made that way. 936 00:46:29,874 --> 00:46:31,005 Are you ready? 937 00:46:31,049 --> 00:46:32,180 Check. 938 00:46:32,224 --> 00:46:33,660 Stop saying check! 939 00:46:37,229 --> 00:46:38,230 Oh... 940 00:46:39,144 --> 00:46:41,189 It's just lying there. 941 00:46:41,973 --> 00:46:43,365 Well, give me a minute. 942 00:46:44,323 --> 00:46:46,325 I think it's dead. 943 00:46:46,368 --> 00:46:48,414 Well, I know it's not dancing, but... 944 00:46:49,154 --> 00:46:50,720 I know it's not dead. 945 00:46:50,764 --> 00:46:53,462 Oh, no. Your fish... 946 00:46:54,202 --> 00:46:55,334 My fish? 947 00:46:55,377 --> 00:46:57,205 No. Your fish in the tank. 948 00:46:57,249 --> 00:46:59,904 I think that fish is dead. 949 00:46:59,947 --> 00:47:01,819 Oh, my God, it's my koi. 950 00:47:03,037 --> 00:47:05,779 I brought him over from Hawaii. 951 00:47:05,823 --> 00:47:09,130 He'd had to be over 100 years old. 952 00:47:09,174 --> 00:47:11,132 I mean, they're supposed to be good luck! 953 00:47:11,176 --> 00:47:13,178 Do you ever go to Hawaii, and stay at the Hilton? 954 00:47:13,221 --> 00:47:14,570 Mr. Evans, 955 00:47:14,614 --> 00:47:17,051 why don't we just get this over with? 956 00:47:17,095 --> 00:47:19,488 Well, let's try to concentrate on what we're doing, all right? 957 00:47:21,099 --> 00:47:23,623 Now, you know why the two of us are here. 958 00:47:23,666 --> 00:47:25,190 [WHALES MOANING] 959 00:47:25,233 --> 00:47:26,844 You see, the problem is... 960 00:47:28,106 --> 00:47:29,847 It's not clinical enough. 961 00:47:31,979 --> 00:47:34,982 The problem is, it's too clinical. 962 00:47:38,768 --> 00:47:40,596 Do you have any fantasies? 963 00:47:40,640 --> 00:47:43,121 I don't need fantasies. 964 00:47:43,164 --> 00:47:45,123 Everybody has some fantasies. 965 00:47:45,166 --> 00:47:46,515 Oh, I have some. 966 00:47:48,691 --> 00:47:49,823 Like what? 967 00:47:49,867 --> 00:47:51,259 I'm not gonna tell you. 968 00:47:51,303 --> 00:47:52,521 If I tell you, 969 00:47:52,565 --> 00:47:54,088 then they're stories, they're not fantasies. 970 00:47:54,132 --> 00:47:55,873 I keep to myself. They're my fantasies. 971 00:47:56,438 --> 00:47:57,962 I have one. 972 00:47:58,005 --> 00:47:59,354 I don't want to hear about it. 973 00:48:03,271 --> 00:48:05,534 I'm sitting all alone in a bar... 974 00:48:08,537 --> 00:48:10,670 Smoke-filled atmosphere... 975 00:48:12,715 --> 00:48:13,716 Suddenly, 976 00:48:14,413 --> 00:48:16,241 across the room, 977 00:48:16,284 --> 00:48:17,764 the most... 978 00:48:17,807 --> 00:48:19,070 Attractive, 979 00:48:19,113 --> 00:48:21,246 sultry, 980 00:48:21,289 --> 00:48:23,291 sexy woman I've ever seen. 981 00:48:25,337 --> 00:48:26,816 Well... 982 00:48:28,557 --> 00:48:29,907 I walk in... 983 00:48:31,256 --> 00:48:33,823 Someplace classy, 984 00:48:33,867 --> 00:48:37,175 like the oak room in the Plaza Hotel. 985 00:48:38,045 --> 00:48:39,220 I walk towards her. 986 00:48:42,136 --> 00:48:44,486 I notice that she has a beauty mark. 987 00:48:44,530 --> 00:48:46,140 Oh, right there. 988 00:48:46,836 --> 00:48:48,055 I say... 989 00:48:50,536 --> 00:48:52,016 "Can I buy you a drink?" 990 00:48:53,365 --> 00:48:54,670 She says, 991 00:48:55,541 --> 00:48:56,542 "No. 992 00:48:57,847 --> 00:48:59,632 "A drink is not what I want." 993 00:48:59,675 --> 00:49:01,199 I say, "What do you want?" 994 00:49:01,242 --> 00:49:02,417 She says, 995 00:49:02,461 --> 00:49:03,462 "You... 996 00:49:05,203 --> 00:49:06,291 "Now." 997 00:49:08,597 --> 00:49:09,947 Then she gets up 998 00:49:11,339 --> 00:49:12,471 and goes. 999 00:49:14,690 --> 00:49:15,822 Where are you going? 1000 00:49:16,997 --> 00:49:19,043 Meet me at the Plaza in one hour. 1001 00:49:19,086 --> 00:49:20,174 Where? 1002 00:49:20,218 --> 00:49:22,176 The oak bar, one hour. 1003 00:49:37,365 --> 00:49:38,714 [INDISTINCT CONVERSATION] 1004 00:49:41,717 --> 00:49:43,067 Well, let's try. 1005 00:49:43,110 --> 00:49:44,677 You're really going to do it? 1006 00:49:44,720 --> 00:49:45,808 Yeah. 1007 00:49:45,852 --> 00:49:47,810 I know how it's done in New York. 1008 00:49:55,035 --> 00:49:56,689 You gonna do it? 1009 00:49:57,559 --> 00:49:59,126 Hi, pretty lady. 1010 00:49:59,170 --> 00:50:01,520 That's a lovely fragrance you're wearing, darling. 1011 00:50:01,563 --> 00:50:02,912 What's it called? 1012 00:50:02,956 --> 00:50:04,305 Estrogen. 1013 00:50:04,349 --> 00:50:05,698 Oh, French, huh? 1014 00:50:05,741 --> 00:50:07,178 I don't speak English. 1015 00:50:07,221 --> 00:50:08,353 [ALL LAUGHING] 1016 00:50:16,317 --> 00:50:17,275 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 1017 00:50:29,113 --> 00:50:30,114 Psst! 1018 00:50:44,780 --> 00:50:47,000 You're supposed to say, "Would you like a drink?" 1019 00:50:52,658 --> 00:50:53,833 Would you like a drink? 1020 00:50:53,876 --> 00:50:54,921 No. 1021 00:50:56,227 --> 00:50:58,533 A drink is not what I want. 1022 00:51:04,670 --> 00:51:06,628 What is that, a mole? 1023 00:51:06,672 --> 00:51:08,108 A beauty mark. 1024 00:51:08,152 --> 00:51:09,501 I like that. 1025 00:51:15,724 --> 00:51:16,899 What do you want? 1026 00:51:17,683 --> 00:51:19,206 I want you... 1027 00:51:19,902 --> 00:51:21,078 Now. 1028 00:51:30,696 --> 00:51:31,914 Like to make a baby? 1029 00:51:38,443 --> 00:51:39,966 The room number's on the key. 1030 00:51:44,710 --> 00:51:46,103 The room number's on the key. 1031 00:52:58,131 --> 00:52:59,393 You wanna tell him or should I? 1032 00:52:59,437 --> 00:53:01,569 I guess I should. 1033 00:53:01,613 --> 00:53:04,093 He'll be very touched.I hope so. 1034 00:53:05,965 --> 00:53:07,706 You know, Maggie, 1035 00:53:07,749 --> 00:53:09,664 pregnancy changes things in a woman. 1036 00:53:09,708 --> 00:53:11,405 I'm not just talking about physically. 1037 00:53:12,406 --> 00:53:14,060 What... What do you mean? 1038 00:53:14,103 --> 00:53:16,845 I want you to feel free 1039 00:53:16,889 --> 00:53:19,674 I want you to feel free to come in here anytime you want 1040 00:53:19,718 --> 00:53:20,719 and talk to me. 1041 00:53:20,762 --> 00:53:22,286 Oh, great. Sure. 1042 00:53:22,329 --> 00:53:24,723 I like you. I don't want you to think of me as 1043 00:53:24,766 --> 00:53:25,854 the other side. 1044 00:53:25,898 --> 00:53:27,204 [LAUGHS] Thanks, Larry. 1045 00:53:28,901 --> 00:53:30,032 Any news yet? 1046 00:53:30,076 --> 00:53:31,251 I've been waiting an hour. 1047 00:53:31,295 --> 00:53:32,557 Excuse me. She's been waiting an hour. 1048 00:53:32,600 --> 00:53:33,732 Hi, Buddy. 1049 00:53:33,775 --> 00:53:35,081 Oh, hi. Arlene. 1050 00:53:35,124 --> 00:53:36,604 Arlene. Right. 1051 00:53:36,648 --> 00:53:39,085 It's nice to see you.You, too. 1052 00:53:39,128 --> 00:53:40,652 Do you still do the moose routine? 1053 00:53:41,479 --> 00:53:43,394 Mr. Evans... Hmm? 1054 00:53:44,786 --> 00:53:46,223 It worked, didn't it? 1055 00:53:46,266 --> 00:53:47,789 Tell me it worked! Tell me it worked! 1056 00:53:47,833 --> 00:53:49,051 What do you mean, it worked? 1057 00:53:49,095 --> 00:53:51,271 Look at that rosy cheek, 1058 00:53:51,315 --> 00:53:53,273 look at that glow in your face. 1059 00:53:53,317 --> 00:53:54,492 It worked, huh? 1060 00:53:55,275 --> 00:53:56,624 Tell me it worked. 1061 00:53:57,451 --> 00:53:58,626 Maggie's pregnant. 1062 00:53:58,670 --> 00:54:00,411 Hot damn! The rabbit died! I knew it! 1063 00:54:00,454 --> 00:54:01,847 I knew it! The rabbit died! 1064 00:54:03,327 --> 00:54:04,676 Good work, Larry. 1065 00:54:11,073 --> 00:54:12,074 [DOOR CLOSES] 1066 00:54:16,688 --> 00:54:18,167 "Erasmus." 1067 00:54:18,211 --> 00:54:20,039 I wonder what that means. 1068 00:54:20,082 --> 00:54:22,215 It means your son won't have any friends. 1069 00:54:22,259 --> 00:54:23,695 That's what that means. 1070 00:54:24,652 --> 00:54:25,827 Who asked you? 1071 00:54:27,655 --> 00:54:28,874 "Salisbury." 1072 00:54:28,917 --> 00:54:29,962 Sounds like a steak. 1073 00:54:30,005 --> 00:54:32,573 Don't say that word. 1074 00:54:32,617 --> 00:54:35,272 You know that means? It means, "From the guarded palace." 1075 00:54:38,318 --> 00:54:39,406 No, no, no. 1076 00:54:39,450 --> 00:54:41,800 Just a little piece. Come on! 1077 00:54:41,843 --> 00:54:44,150 You've had your high-protein group for the day. 1078 00:54:44,193 --> 00:54:45,673 What? What? 1079 00:54:46,283 --> 00:54:47,545 A hard-boiled egg. 1080 00:54:49,198 --> 00:54:50,374 One egg? 1081 00:54:51,940 --> 00:54:53,725 You call that a group? 1082 00:54:53,768 --> 00:54:54,943 It's part of the deal. 1083 00:54:56,641 --> 00:54:58,251 I'm wasting away. 1084 00:54:58,295 --> 00:55:00,209 I smell gas! 1085 00:55:00,253 --> 00:55:02,299 Oh! What's happening here? 1086 00:55:03,125 --> 00:55:05,389 Oh! Oh, I smell gas! 1087 00:55:05,432 --> 00:55:06,651 You don't smell gas. 1088 00:55:06,694 --> 00:55:08,043 We have an electric range. 1089 00:55:08,087 --> 00:55:09,523 We have an electric oven. 1090 00:55:09,567 --> 00:55:12,265 So... I don't smell gas. 1091 00:55:20,752 --> 00:55:24,625 I'm cutting up your steak for you into little pieces. 1092 00:55:24,669 --> 00:55:26,584 I thought you'd like it that way. 1093 00:55:27,976 --> 00:55:29,674 That's how I would like it, 1094 00:55:29,717 --> 00:55:30,979 But I don't want it. 1095 00:55:34,940 --> 00:55:36,855 BUDDY: Dr. Carlucci says 1096 00:55:36,898 --> 00:55:38,944 up until the fourth month, 1097 00:55:38,987 --> 00:55:40,685 running is good for the fetus. 1098 00:55:42,164 --> 00:55:44,210 Fetal osmosis is the theory, 1099 00:55:44,253 --> 00:55:46,604 that every experiences encountered by the mother 1100 00:55:46,647 --> 00:55:49,955 is directly or indirectly transmitted to the fetus. 1101 00:55:50,695 --> 00:55:52,218 Great. 1102 00:55:52,261 --> 00:55:55,221 You'll have the only baby ever born with shin splints. 1103 00:55:55,264 --> 00:55:56,265 [HUMMING] 1104 00:55:58,572 --> 00:55:59,530 Here. 1105 00:56:00,879 --> 00:56:02,359 It's good for you. 1106 00:56:06,406 --> 00:56:08,365 BUDDY: Have you had anything from the bread group today? 1107 00:56:08,408 --> 00:56:10,149 Yes! What? 1108 00:56:10,192 --> 00:56:11,368 Bread. 1109 00:56:19,550 --> 00:56:21,073 [SPEAKING FRENCH] Est-ce que vous etes musicien? 1110 00:56:21,116 --> 00:56:23,075 Oui, je suis musicien. 1111 00:56:23,118 --> 00:56:24,903 Musicienne? Mus... 1112 00:56:24,946 --> 00:56:26,557 [KNOCK ON DOOR] 1113 00:56:26,600 --> 00:56:27,775 Entrez. 1114 00:56:27,819 --> 00:56:29,690 BUDDY: What? Come in. 1115 00:56:31,039 --> 00:56:32,345 Hi. I brought... 1116 00:56:34,260 --> 00:56:36,610 Oh. 1117 00:56:36,654 --> 00:56:38,220 Oh, your plants are doing great, aren't they? 1118 00:56:38,264 --> 00:56:39,526 Oh, thanks. 1119 00:56:40,919 --> 00:56:42,355 I give mine vitamins... 1120 00:56:44,705 --> 00:56:46,098 And plant food. 1121 00:56:47,882 --> 00:56:49,493 Every day. 1122 00:56:49,536 --> 00:56:51,886 From Central America. 1123 00:56:51,930 --> 00:56:53,888 Sometimes I think it's better just to water them 1124 00:56:53,932 --> 00:56:55,150 and leave them alone. 1125 00:56:56,587 --> 00:56:57,762 Yeah. 1126 00:57:01,896 --> 00:57:03,332 Four times a day. 1127 00:57:06,466 --> 00:57:08,207 This is probably a better room for plants. 1128 00:57:31,578 --> 00:57:33,624 MAN: Is this gonna be a problem for lighting? 1129 00:57:33,667 --> 00:57:35,887 MAN 2: No, angle it a little more. 1130 00:57:35,930 --> 00:57:37,366 But is it clear? 1131 00:57:37,410 --> 00:57:38,977 Yeah. Okay. 1132 00:57:39,020 --> 00:57:40,152 Coming through. 1133 00:57:40,195 --> 00:57:41,501 Now string them up. 1134 00:57:42,241 --> 00:57:43,677 Lower. Slowly. 1135 00:57:43,721 --> 00:57:45,113 How much longer, Derek? 1136 00:57:45,157 --> 00:57:47,376 Oh, about a half hour, Chief.Yeah. 1137 00:57:47,420 --> 00:57:49,727 What'll I do with number three? 1138 00:57:49,770 --> 00:57:51,380 Square that off. You're not square. 1139 00:57:51,424 --> 00:57:52,947 You're five, ten degrees off. 1140 00:57:55,167 --> 00:57:56,864 Tighter. Make it tighter. 1141 00:57:57,778 --> 00:57:59,650 Who do you like tonight? 1142 00:57:59,693 --> 00:58:02,217 Martinez is going to whip that Cuban's butt. 1143 00:58:02,261 --> 00:58:04,350 Probably. 1144 00:58:04,393 --> 00:58:06,526 MAN: Hold. Hold it. That's fine. 1145 00:58:06,570 --> 00:58:08,310 Wait, let me check the sight line there. 1146 00:58:08,354 --> 00:58:10,443 Bill! Bill! 1147 00:58:10,487 --> 00:58:12,837 BILL: Yeah? How are we in the back? 1148 00:58:14,099 --> 00:58:15,535 BILL: Drop it a little more. 1149 00:58:15,579 --> 00:58:17,015 Drop it. 1150 00:58:19,104 --> 00:58:20,714 Hold it. That's it. 1151 00:58:20,758 --> 00:58:23,456 Move that one over. Okay. 1152 00:58:25,414 --> 00:58:27,373 Is this going to be a problem for lighting? 1153 00:58:33,858 --> 00:58:35,033 Sophia. 1154 00:58:35,076 --> 00:58:36,382 Hi, Buddy. 1155 00:58:37,862 --> 00:58:39,167 What you been doing? 1156 00:58:41,430 --> 00:58:42,562 Well, uh... 1157 00:58:43,737 --> 00:58:44,825 I got married. 1158 00:58:46,392 --> 00:58:47,785 That's good. 1159 00:58:47,828 --> 00:58:49,569 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 1160 00:58:49,613 --> 00:58:50,701 No, that's bad, 1161 00:58:51,397 --> 00:58:52,920 'cause I got divorced. 1162 00:58:52,964 --> 00:58:55,140 Oh, that's bad. 1163 00:58:56,663 --> 00:58:57,969 Maybe that's good. 1164 00:58:58,665 --> 00:59:00,014 I got happy. 1165 00:59:01,015 --> 00:59:02,582 [LAUGHS] Mmm. 1166 00:59:02,626 --> 00:59:05,716 And as many of you ladies will soon find out, 1167 00:59:05,759 --> 00:59:08,283 your abdominal cavity will expand 1168 00:59:08,327 --> 00:59:10,285 to make room for the swelling uterus. 1169 00:59:10,329 --> 00:59:11,939 Does anybody have a little boy doll? 1170 00:59:11,983 --> 00:59:13,419 I think I should have a little boy. 1171 00:59:13,462 --> 00:59:15,639 Maggie, it's only a doll. 1172 00:59:16,727 --> 00:59:17,902 It's not forever. 1173 00:59:19,033 --> 00:59:21,470 Oh. As I was saying, 1174 00:59:21,514 --> 00:59:24,865 this expanding skin may mean for many of you 1175 00:59:24,909 --> 00:59:26,563 the dreaded stretch marks. 1176 00:59:26,606 --> 00:59:27,912 Oh! Oh! 1177 00:59:27,955 --> 00:59:29,304 No! Yuck. 1178 00:59:29,348 --> 00:59:30,436 [WOMEN LAUGHING] 1179 00:59:30,479 --> 00:59:32,699 Now, these may not be inevitable. 1180 00:59:32,743 --> 00:59:34,266 A lot of couples have found 1181 00:59:34,309 --> 00:59:36,442 that a nightly application of, say, 1182 00:59:36,485 --> 00:59:38,009 cocoa butter 1183 00:59:38,052 --> 00:59:39,837 can help avoid the stretch marks 1184 00:59:39,880 --> 00:59:41,403 and as a shared pastime, 1185 00:59:41,447 --> 00:59:43,884 can be very, uh, pleasant. 1186 00:59:43,928 --> 00:59:44,885 [WOMEN LAUGHING] 1187 00:59:46,887 --> 00:59:48,193 Hello, Buddy! 1188 00:59:48,236 --> 00:59:49,411 It's me. 1189 00:59:49,455 --> 00:59:51,457 I just bought these great maternity dresses! 1190 00:59:51,500 --> 00:59:53,372 I think they're really beautiful. 1191 00:59:53,415 --> 00:59:55,417 And I think I can take them in 1192 00:59:55,461 --> 00:59:57,419 after the big event. 1193 00:59:57,463 --> 00:59:59,334 Buddy! 1194 00:59:59,378 --> 01:00:01,467 Buddy! Buddy, you've got to see them. 1195 01:00:04,644 --> 01:00:07,734 BUDDY: No. There! No... A little higher. 1196 01:00:07,778 --> 01:00:09,693 SOPHIA: I thought I remembered that spot. 1197 01:00:09,736 --> 01:00:12,173 [BOTH LAUGHING] 1198 01:00:12,217 --> 01:00:14,001 SOPHIA: Gotcha! BUDDY: You got it? 1199 01:00:16,264 --> 01:00:17,831 [CONTINUES LAUGHING] 1200 01:00:27,449 --> 01:00:28,973 [WHALE SOUNDS] 1201 01:00:32,846 --> 01:00:33,847 What's going on? 1202 01:00:34,848 --> 01:00:36,241 They're playing our song. 1203 01:00:43,378 --> 01:00:44,902 Buddy, do you have a cat? 1204 01:00:44,945 --> 01:00:46,555 A whale. 1205 01:00:46,599 --> 01:00:48,035 A big one. 1206 01:00:48,079 --> 01:00:49,646 [MIMICS SOUND] [LAUGHING] 1207 01:00:52,431 --> 01:00:53,998 [CHEERING] 1208 01:00:57,523 --> 01:00:59,090 [INDISTINCT SHOUTING] 1209 01:01:05,705 --> 01:01:06,750 Whoo! 1210 01:01:06,793 --> 01:01:08,360 Here we go! Here we go! 1211 01:01:08,403 --> 01:01:10,405 [WHISTLES] Okay, Jerry, hit it out of here! 1212 01:01:10,449 --> 01:01:12,016 Hit it out of here, Jerry! 1213 01:01:13,452 --> 01:01:15,541 Here you go, Jere! 1214 01:01:15,584 --> 01:01:17,761 Who's up next? You are, big guy. 1215 01:01:17,804 --> 01:01:20,328 Ha! They're gonna name a candy bar after me. 1216 01:01:20,372 --> 01:01:21,852 There you go, Jerry, all the way! 1217 01:01:21,895 --> 01:01:24,245 [WHISTLES] She's a remarkable young lady. 1218 01:01:24,289 --> 01:01:25,725 Hit it out of here, Jerry! Hit it out of here! 1219 01:01:25,769 --> 01:01:27,248 Come on, Jere! 1220 01:01:27,292 --> 01:01:28,902 There's something really special about... 1221 01:01:28,946 --> 01:01:30,425 MAN: Ball two! 1222 01:01:30,469 --> 01:01:31,775 Hit it out of there, Jerry! 1223 01:01:31,818 --> 01:01:33,820 You need a pregnant lady in there. 1224 01:01:34,908 --> 01:01:36,475 Here we go, Jerry, all the way! 1225 01:01:36,518 --> 01:01:37,694 All right, Jere! 1226 01:01:37,737 --> 01:01:38,999 Hit it all the way to Queens. 1227 01:01:39,043 --> 01:01:40,566 I don't think you're fully aware 1228 01:01:40,609 --> 01:01:42,699 of the emotions that enter into a situation like this. 1229 01:01:42,742 --> 01:01:43,961 I understand. I understand. 1230 01:01:44,004 --> 01:01:45,440 We got two guys on, 1231 01:01:45,484 --> 01:01:47,051 it's the bottom of the ninth, one out. 1232 01:01:47,094 --> 01:01:49,183 There you go, Jerry, all the way! 1233 01:01:49,227 --> 01:01:50,271 I'm puttin' her in. 1234 01:01:50,315 --> 01:01:51,403 Who? Maggie. 1235 01:01:51,446 --> 01:01:52,534 For who? 1236 01:01:52,578 --> 01:01:54,449 For you. For me? 1237 01:01:54,493 --> 01:01:56,582 But it's the bottom of then ninth. It's my turn. 1238 01:01:56,625 --> 01:01:58,584 You're oh-for-four. I'm due. 1239 01:01:58,627 --> 01:01:59,933 Give her a chance. Everybody wants her to play. 1240 01:02:00,847 --> 01:02:02,109 Come on, Mario. I'm due. 1241 01:02:02,153 --> 01:02:04,198 All for four. It's my turn! 1242 01:02:04,242 --> 01:02:06,244 Right. This is it. You can do it. 1243 01:02:06,287 --> 01:02:07,549 Get out there! 1244 01:02:07,593 --> 01:02:09,595 [CHEERING] 1245 01:02:11,249 --> 01:02:12,467 It's my turn! 1246 01:02:17,995 --> 01:02:20,127 Have a little respect! It's a mother, here! 1247 01:02:20,171 --> 01:02:21,781 You can do it, baby! 1248 01:02:24,131 --> 01:02:25,698 Get your arms up. 1249 01:02:29,049 --> 01:02:30,790 Up a little more. 1250 01:02:30,834 --> 01:02:32,357 My arms are up. 1251 01:02:32,400 --> 01:02:33,401 Strike! 1252 01:02:34,794 --> 01:02:36,535 Put your body into it. 1253 01:02:36,578 --> 01:02:38,319 My body's into it. 1254 01:02:39,190 --> 01:02:40,234 Your whole body. 1255 01:02:40,278 --> 01:02:41,583 My body's into it! 1256 01:02:41,627 --> 01:02:43,629 Not my whole body. 1257 01:02:43,672 --> 01:02:45,762 Stop twisting around like that. 1258 01:02:45,805 --> 01:02:47,894 Ready? It's zen. 1259 01:02:50,592 --> 01:02:52,029 You're throwing too hard! 1260 01:02:54,422 --> 01:02:55,815 Have a little patience. 1261 01:02:55,859 --> 01:02:57,338 It's nothing. It's just a ball game. 1262 01:03:14,878 --> 01:03:16,880 Hold up on first! 1263 01:03:16,923 --> 01:03:17,968 Hold up! 1264 01:03:21,275 --> 01:03:22,320 Hold up! You got a triple! 1265 01:03:22,363 --> 01:03:23,800 Hold up! Hold up! 1266 01:03:25,584 --> 01:03:26,585 Safe! 1267 01:03:27,238 --> 01:03:28,282 Let's go! 1268 01:03:42,731 --> 01:03:43,907 Well, how'd I do? 1269 01:03:45,473 --> 01:03:46,648 You're getting the hang of it. 1270 01:03:50,217 --> 01:03:52,393 Give me that candy bar! 1271 01:03:52,437 --> 01:03:53,612 Are you crazy? 1272 01:03:54,831 --> 01:03:56,484 I can't stand this anymore. 1273 01:03:56,528 --> 01:03:57,790 Can't stand what? 1274 01:03:57,834 --> 01:04:00,575 Everything. The exercises, diets, 1275 01:04:00,619 --> 01:04:03,143 the noise you have piped into my room. 1276 01:04:03,187 --> 01:04:04,753 What noise? That's the ocean. 1277 01:04:04,797 --> 01:04:06,277 I don't want the ocean in my room. 1278 01:04:07,408 --> 01:04:10,150 It's called fetal relaxation. 1279 01:04:10,194 --> 01:04:14,111 Dr. Krasner says it's essential for having a baby. 1280 01:04:14,154 --> 01:04:15,939 Have the baby with Dr. Krasner. 1281 01:04:15,982 --> 01:04:17,854 I can't. He's dead. 1282 01:04:19,638 --> 01:04:22,597 You're going against the spirit of the contract. 1283 01:04:23,685 --> 01:04:26,732 You're starving me to death. 1284 01:04:26,775 --> 01:04:28,255 I think we're acting ridiculous. 1285 01:04:30,431 --> 01:04:32,085 I'm sorry I yelled at you at the game. 1286 01:04:33,217 --> 01:04:35,436 I won't ever yell at you again, okay? 1287 01:04:36,524 --> 01:04:37,743 Want a nice falafel? 1288 01:04:37,786 --> 01:04:40,311 Yeah. Two, please. 1289 01:04:40,354 --> 01:04:41,399 Don't get one. 1290 01:04:41,442 --> 01:04:42,748 Please. No. 1291 01:04:42,791 --> 01:04:44,706 I'll give you each two falafel. 1292 01:04:44,750 --> 01:04:46,839 Everybody will be happy. This one's for you. 1293 01:04:46,883 --> 01:04:48,406 I'll get your license revoked. 1294 01:04:48,449 --> 01:04:49,755 I don't have a license. No license. 1295 01:04:49,798 --> 01:04:51,235 Don't eat that. 1296 01:04:51,278 --> 01:04:54,151 This stems from the need to rebel against authority. 1297 01:04:54,194 --> 01:04:55,804 Very common. 1298 01:04:55,848 --> 01:04:56,936 Are you a falafel therapist? 1299 01:04:56,980 --> 01:04:57,937 He's right. 1300 01:04:58,590 --> 01:05:00,113 Thank you very much. 1301 01:05:00,157 --> 01:05:01,680 I feel smothered. 1302 01:05:04,204 --> 01:05:05,553 Is there someone else in your life? 1303 01:05:07,077 --> 01:05:09,557 There's no one else in my life. 1304 01:05:09,601 --> 01:05:11,124 There's not even me in my life. 1305 01:05:12,386 --> 01:05:13,997 You have a lot to learn about women. 1306 01:05:14,040 --> 01:05:15,694 That'll be $2.00 for the falafel. 1307 01:05:18,392 --> 01:05:19,916 The advice is free. 1308 01:05:22,657 --> 01:05:23,745 That's what it's worth. 1309 01:05:27,662 --> 01:05:29,708 Can I ask you a personal question? 1310 01:05:29,751 --> 01:05:30,883 Sure. 1311 01:05:30,927 --> 01:05:33,277 You ever played professional sports? 1312 01:05:33,320 --> 01:05:35,235 That's awful personal, but no. 1313 01:05:35,279 --> 01:05:36,584 Why not? 1314 01:05:36,628 --> 01:05:38,630 I wasn't good enough. 1315 01:05:38,673 --> 01:05:41,372 I wasn't good enough to play professional anyway. 1316 01:05:41,415 --> 01:05:44,331 Besides, you couldn't become a sports star in my family. 1317 01:05:44,375 --> 01:05:46,768 My father used to say, "You can do anything you want to do 1318 01:05:46,812 --> 01:05:48,814 "as long as you go to law school." 1319 01:05:48,857 --> 01:05:51,512 So that's why you want a son. 1320 01:05:51,556 --> 01:05:52,731 To become a lawyer? 1321 01:05:52,774 --> 01:05:54,254 No, to become a sports star. 1322 01:05:55,125 --> 01:05:56,474 Want to sit down? 1323 01:05:56,517 --> 01:05:57,518 Sure. 1324 01:06:02,175 --> 01:06:03,785 I don't care what he does, 1325 01:06:03,829 --> 01:06:05,048 as long as he's happy. 1326 01:06:05,091 --> 01:06:07,050 [CHILDREN CHEERING] 1327 01:06:08,007 --> 01:06:09,356 You hear that? 1328 01:06:10,923 --> 01:06:13,404 Know what the guys at the Garden say? 1329 01:06:14,883 --> 01:06:16,320 "The sound of a crowd cheering 1330 01:06:16,363 --> 01:06:17,930 "is the most beautiful sound in the world." 1331 01:06:19,366 --> 01:06:21,542 Know what I think the most beautiful sound is? 1332 01:06:21,586 --> 01:06:23,544 What? 1333 01:06:23,588 --> 01:06:25,285 When I hear a kid laughing, 1334 01:06:25,329 --> 01:06:29,159 I want to tape it, play it every morning. It's really something. 1335 01:06:29,202 --> 01:06:31,465 There's a playground next to my apartment. 1336 01:06:31,509 --> 01:06:34,120 I go by every day on my way to the Garden. 1337 01:06:34,164 --> 01:06:37,167 There's this one little boy. 1338 01:06:37,210 --> 01:06:40,387 He can do anything on his bicycle. 1339 01:06:40,431 --> 01:06:43,086 He totally defies the laws of physics. 1340 01:06:43,129 --> 01:06:46,524 He can get this far off the ground and not fall over 1341 01:06:46,567 --> 01:06:48,308 and ride right along the top of a fence 1342 01:06:48,352 --> 01:06:49,527 and not fall over. 1343 01:06:49,570 --> 01:06:51,616 He never falls. 1344 01:06:51,659 --> 01:06:53,226 You know the day he's going to fall over? 1345 01:06:54,271 --> 01:06:57,143 The day he learns about gravity. 1346 01:06:57,187 --> 01:07:00,364 The day that some schmuck tells him about gravity. 1347 01:07:00,407 --> 01:07:02,801 That's why I want a son. 1348 01:07:02,844 --> 01:07:05,325 So I can be there the day he learns about gravity. 1349 01:07:33,658 --> 01:07:36,748 You always make each day special day 1350 01:07:36,791 --> 01:07:41,231 by just your being you. 1351 01:07:41,274 --> 01:07:45,235 There's only one person in this world like you. 1352 01:07:46,366 --> 01:07:48,542 You know people will like you... 1353 01:07:48,586 --> 01:07:50,805 8:00, tomorrow night. 1354 01:07:50,849 --> 01:07:52,720 Don't forget. What? 1355 01:07:52,764 --> 01:07:54,592 8:00, tomorrow night. You won't forget? 1356 01:07:54,635 --> 01:07:55,984 I won't forget. 1357 01:07:57,029 --> 01:07:58,639 Forget what? 1358 01:07:58,683 --> 01:08:00,119 The prenatal clinic. 1359 01:08:00,163 --> 01:08:01,686 It's the father's first night. 1360 01:08:01,729 --> 01:08:03,340 Oh, yeah. 1361 01:08:03,383 --> 01:08:04,471 Yeah. 1362 01:08:04,515 --> 01:08:05,646 I'll be there. 1363 01:08:06,908 --> 01:08:08,606 What are you watching? 1364 01:08:08,649 --> 01:08:11,087 Mister Rogers. Know why I like him? 1365 01:08:12,088 --> 01:08:14,046 No. Why? 1366 01:08:14,090 --> 01:08:15,787 Because he likes me just the way I am. 1367 01:08:22,837 --> 01:08:25,013 Larry, I'm sorry to be dragging you down here. 1368 01:08:25,057 --> 01:08:28,147 Fathers are supposed to be here tonight. 1369 01:08:28,191 --> 01:08:29,279 Where is he? 1370 01:08:29,322 --> 01:08:30,802 Don't worry about it. Be a lot of fun. 1371 01:08:30,845 --> 01:08:33,021 Buddy's making me go through this. 1372 01:08:33,065 --> 01:08:35,023 Buddy should be here. 1373 01:08:35,067 --> 01:08:36,373 He's probably in a meeting. 1374 01:08:38,070 --> 01:08:39,289 This is it. 1375 01:08:41,508 --> 01:08:44,250 BUDDY: [OVER PA SYSTEM] Faster than Sugar Ray, prettier than Ali, 1376 01:08:44,294 --> 01:08:46,557 the world middleweight champion... 1377 01:08:46,600 --> 01:08:48,994 Buddy Evans! [LAUGHS] 1378 01:08:51,953 --> 01:08:53,520 Do my favorite. 1379 01:08:53,564 --> 01:08:54,956 The big one? 1380 01:08:55,000 --> 01:08:56,349 Bambi's daddy. 1381 01:08:56,393 --> 01:08:57,959 I was saving him for tonight. 1382 01:08:58,482 --> 01:08:59,613 Please? 1383 01:08:59,657 --> 01:09:00,745 Okay. 1384 01:09:12,060 --> 01:09:13,279 Is today Tuesday? 1385 01:09:13,323 --> 01:09:14,280 Yeah. 1386 01:09:15,325 --> 01:09:16,369 Hmm. 1387 01:09:17,892 --> 01:09:20,678 I forgot something. 1388 01:09:20,721 --> 01:09:24,769 Tonight we'll start by learning how to breathe together, 1389 01:09:24,812 --> 01:09:28,033 breathing in and out, 1390 01:09:28,076 --> 01:09:29,861 matching each other's rhythm. 1391 01:09:29,904 --> 01:09:31,297 Let's try it. In... 1392 01:09:32,255 --> 01:09:33,691 Out. 1393 01:09:33,734 --> 01:09:35,606 Be sure you exhale completely. 1394 01:09:35,649 --> 01:09:39,218 To guarantee that, hum as you exhale. 1395 01:09:39,262 --> 01:09:40,654 Let's do it. In... 1396 01:09:41,568 --> 01:09:42,569 Out. 1397 01:09:43,570 --> 01:09:45,006 Let's hear it. In... 1398 01:09:45,877 --> 01:09:47,095 Out. 1399 01:09:47,139 --> 01:09:48,662 No humming, just the breathing. 1400 01:09:48,706 --> 01:09:49,924 In... 1401 01:10:00,370 --> 01:10:01,327 Maggie. 1402 01:10:02,633 --> 01:10:03,634 Maggie. 1403 01:10:04,461 --> 01:10:05,505 Shh! 1404 01:10:09,640 --> 01:10:11,990 Excuse me. I'm just looking for somebody. 1405 01:10:12,033 --> 01:10:13,687 Just go on with what you're doing. 1406 01:10:17,604 --> 01:10:18,605 Maggie. 1407 01:10:23,262 --> 01:10:24,220 Maggie. 1408 01:10:25,308 --> 01:10:26,396 Maggie! 1409 01:10:26,439 --> 01:10:28,441 Buddy. Over here. 1410 01:10:31,705 --> 01:10:32,750 Ow! 1411 01:10:32,793 --> 01:10:33,881 Do you mind? 1412 01:10:33,925 --> 01:10:35,405 Sir, do you mind? 1413 01:10:36,188 --> 01:10:37,407 Quiet. 1414 01:10:38,451 --> 01:10:40,018 I'm with that couple over there. 1415 01:10:41,106 --> 01:10:42,107 Please. 1416 01:10:45,284 --> 01:10:46,242 Hi. 1417 01:10:47,982 --> 01:10:51,856 Sir, we have a very delicate atmosphere in here. 1418 01:10:53,074 --> 01:10:54,162 Just pretend i'm not here. 1419 01:10:54,206 --> 01:10:55,947 The class is waiting. 1420 01:11:02,127 --> 01:11:03,433 Do I have to sit on the floor? 1421 01:11:03,476 --> 01:11:06,958 I've come here five months now. 1422 01:11:07,001 --> 01:11:08,394 It's the least you could do. 1423 01:11:10,266 --> 01:11:11,267 Sit! 1424 01:11:14,487 --> 01:11:16,097 We'll resume the breathing 1425 01:11:16,141 --> 01:11:17,969 with the humming on the exhaling. 1426 01:11:18,012 --> 01:11:19,013 Everybody. 1427 01:11:19,449 --> 01:11:20,406 In. 1428 01:11:20,754 --> 01:11:22,060 Out. 1429 01:11:23,104 --> 01:11:25,281 In. Louder. In. 1430 01:11:25,324 --> 01:11:26,717 Everybody. 1431 01:11:26,760 --> 01:11:27,979 Out. 1432 01:11:28,022 --> 01:11:29,937 [HUMMING] 1433 01:11:30,590 --> 01:11:32,026 In. 1434 01:11:32,070 --> 01:11:33,114 Out. 1435 01:11:33,158 --> 01:11:34,725 [HUMMING] 1436 01:11:34,768 --> 01:11:36,117 Very good. 1437 01:11:36,161 --> 01:11:37,380 In. 1438 01:11:38,337 --> 01:11:40,078 Out. 1439 01:11:40,121 --> 01:11:41,949 Everybody. 1440 01:11:41,993 --> 01:11:43,560 Now, without the humming, 1441 01:11:43,603 --> 01:11:46,084 we'll continue to breathe in rhythm. 1442 01:11:50,393 --> 01:11:54,527 Yoo-hoo! Buddy! 1443 01:11:54,571 --> 01:11:58,009 Buddy! Where are you? 1444 01:12:02,100 --> 01:12:03,319 Buddy. 1445 01:12:03,362 --> 01:12:04,494 I'm hungry. 1446 01:12:08,715 --> 01:12:10,500 There you are! 1447 01:12:11,152 --> 01:12:12,328 MAN: Shh! 1448 01:12:17,637 --> 01:12:20,597 You mind taking her home for me? I'd really appreciate it. 1449 01:12:20,640 --> 01:12:21,859 Not at all. Be a pleasure. 1450 01:12:21,902 --> 01:12:23,121 Thank you. 1451 01:12:25,602 --> 01:12:27,212 Excuse me. 1452 01:12:28,082 --> 01:12:29,475 May I help you? 1453 01:12:29,519 --> 01:12:31,172 I'm with him. 1454 01:12:31,216 --> 01:12:32,478 Is this your wife? 1455 01:12:32,522 --> 01:12:34,524 I'm not married. Then who's she? 1456 01:12:34,567 --> 01:12:36,308 I'm just he mother of his child. 1457 01:12:37,265 --> 01:12:38,789 I'm his date. 1458 01:12:38,832 --> 01:12:40,660 I'm a friend of the family. 1459 01:12:40,704 --> 01:12:43,750 And as we exhale, let's feel all the tensions 1460 01:12:43,794 --> 01:12:45,622 going out through our fingertips. 1461 01:12:46,536 --> 01:12:47,493 In. 1462 01:12:48,494 --> 01:12:49,452 Out. 1463 01:12:50,366 --> 01:12:51,671 In. 1464 01:12:51,715 --> 01:12:52,977 I thought so. 1465 01:12:53,020 --> 01:12:54,935 Buddy, it's Gloria. 1466 01:12:54,979 --> 01:12:56,807 Oh, Jesus. 1467 01:12:56,850 --> 01:12:58,461 It's been ages. 1468 01:12:58,504 --> 01:12:59,897 This is my husband Bill. 1469 01:12:59,940 --> 01:13:02,116 This is Buddy, an old lover of mine. 1470 01:13:02,160 --> 01:13:04,162 Now, let's settle down. In... 1471 01:13:34,192 --> 01:13:35,411 [KEYS JINGLING] 1472 01:13:39,327 --> 01:13:41,155 I thought you were taking me to dinner. 1473 01:13:41,199 --> 01:13:43,114 I'm taking you to dinner, darling. 1474 01:13:43,157 --> 01:13:45,072 First, I thought we'd have a... 1475 01:13:45,116 --> 01:13:46,900 Drink? I'm dying for one. 1476 01:13:46,944 --> 01:13:48,424 That, too. 1477 01:14:05,310 --> 01:14:07,094 What are you doing here? 1478 01:14:07,138 --> 01:14:08,313 Gestating. 1479 01:14:09,183 --> 01:14:10,620 I thought you had a class. 1480 01:14:10,663 --> 01:14:11,882 It was canceled. 1481 01:14:13,710 --> 01:14:15,102 My friend's here. 1482 01:14:15,146 --> 01:14:17,017 She's very old-fashioned. 1483 01:14:17,061 --> 01:14:21,065 I'd appreciate it if you didn't mention our arrangement. 1484 01:14:21,108 --> 01:14:22,849 I wouldn't dream of it. 1485 01:14:22,893 --> 01:14:23,894 Thank you. 1486 01:14:24,721 --> 01:14:26,200 You expecting company? 1487 01:14:29,943 --> 01:14:31,031 Mmm. 1488 01:14:31,075 --> 01:14:32,511 Okay, we're going out to dinner. 1489 01:14:32,555 --> 01:14:34,208 I thought we were having our drinks. 1490 01:14:36,167 --> 01:14:37,342 Hi. 1491 01:14:37,385 --> 01:14:38,996 Well, hi. 1492 01:14:39,039 --> 01:14:40,867 This is my... His au pair. 1493 01:14:40,911 --> 01:14:42,695 My au pair. 1494 01:14:42,739 --> 01:14:44,044 How soon are you having that baby? 1495 01:14:44,088 --> 01:14:45,785 Not soon enough. 1496 01:14:45,829 --> 01:14:49,615 Maggie, take the evening off. 1497 01:14:49,659 --> 01:14:51,269 And leave you all alone? 1498 01:14:51,312 --> 01:14:53,401 Yes. Leave us all alone. 1499 01:14:53,445 --> 01:14:55,186 We're going out to dinner. 1500 01:14:55,229 --> 01:14:56,796 Who's the proud father? 1501 01:14:56,840 --> 01:14:58,058 There's no father. 1502 01:14:58,102 --> 01:14:59,146 A virgin birth? 1503 01:14:59,190 --> 01:15:00,191 Well, she's Catholic. 1504 01:15:00,931 --> 01:15:02,410 Bonsoir,Maggie. 1505 01:15:03,455 --> 01:15:05,022 And Alain Delon to you. 1506 01:15:08,025 --> 01:15:09,766 My little Texas taco. 1507 01:15:09,809 --> 01:15:10,984 My little Dixie- 1508 01:15:11,028 --> 01:15:13,030 Come on, Buddy, who's the father? 1509 01:15:13,073 --> 01:15:14,422 I was raped. 1510 01:15:15,685 --> 01:15:16,642 Raped? 1511 01:15:18,470 --> 01:15:19,471 Oh. 1512 01:15:24,824 --> 01:15:25,782 Yeah. 1513 01:15:26,826 --> 01:15:27,784 Yeah. 1514 01:15:29,133 --> 01:15:30,830 Tommy Kroeger. 1515 01:15:30,874 --> 01:15:32,310 Tommy Kroeger. 1516 01:15:33,354 --> 01:15:35,531 I see that name in every elevator. 1517 01:15:35,574 --> 01:15:38,142 He must have been the inspector 1518 01:15:38,185 --> 01:15:39,447 in every elevator in New York. 1519 01:15:39,491 --> 01:15:41,362 First I was molested, 1520 01:15:41,406 --> 01:15:43,495 Then I was raped. 1521 01:15:43,539 --> 01:15:45,497 Even in Madison Square Garden, 1522 01:15:45,541 --> 01:15:47,238 you see Tommy Kroeger in the elevator. 1523 01:15:47,281 --> 01:15:49,066 You weren't molested or raped. 1524 01:15:51,198 --> 01:15:52,635 The father was killed. 1525 01:15:52,678 --> 01:15:53,636 Killed? 1526 01:15:54,201 --> 01:15:55,812 In the war. 1527 01:15:55,855 --> 01:15:57,944 Oh. What war? What war? 1528 01:16:00,207 --> 01:16:03,297 A man's paying me to have his child. 1529 01:16:03,341 --> 01:16:04,777 That's barbaric. 1530 01:16:04,821 --> 01:16:07,737 I wouldn't go that far. He could've been a nice fellow. 1531 01:16:07,780 --> 01:16:08,955 See you, Maggie. 1532 01:16:10,957 --> 01:16:12,176 Monsieur? 1533 01:16:13,090 --> 01:16:14,482 Chateaubriand. 1534 01:16:14,526 --> 01:16:15,571 For two? 1535 01:16:15,614 --> 01:16:17,007 For four. 1536 01:16:17,050 --> 01:16:19,662 You're right. I am a slave. 1537 01:16:19,705 --> 01:16:22,795 It just sounds so medieval. 1538 01:16:24,536 --> 01:16:26,190 What kind of man would do this? 1539 01:16:26,233 --> 01:16:28,453 Why don't we change the subject? 1540 01:16:28,496 --> 01:16:29,759 Tell me something. 1541 01:16:31,195 --> 01:16:33,153 Was he brutal? 1542 01:16:33,197 --> 01:16:35,155 Ooh, soup! I love soup! 1543 01:16:35,199 --> 01:16:36,243 Would you like some soup? 1544 01:16:36,287 --> 01:16:39,464 No. He was gentle. 1545 01:16:39,507 --> 01:16:40,900 Gentle. Oh. 1546 01:16:40,944 --> 01:16:42,380 Sounds like a hell of a guy. 1547 01:16:42,423 --> 01:16:43,903 What is the soup du jour? 1548 01:16:44,600 --> 01:16:46,079 Soup of the day. 1549 01:16:47,298 --> 01:16:48,865 It was so good of you 1550 01:16:48,908 --> 01:16:50,257 taking her into your home. 1551 01:16:50,301 --> 01:16:51,737 Oh, yes. 1552 01:16:51,781 --> 01:16:54,827 He's been just like a father to me and my child. 1553 01:16:54,871 --> 01:16:56,176 I wouldn't say father. 1554 01:16:56,220 --> 01:16:57,743 I'd say, just a regular guy. 1555 01:16:58,875 --> 01:17:00,398 Where you going? I'm not hungry. 1556 01:17:00,441 --> 01:17:01,486 Where you going? 1557 01:17:01,529 --> 01:17:04,141 To the powder room. 1558 01:17:04,184 --> 01:17:05,838 Talk about the vegetables. 1559 01:17:05,882 --> 01:17:08,188 It's important to know what vegetables you want. 1560 01:17:08,232 --> 01:17:10,321 Don't you ever correct me again. 1561 01:17:17,197 --> 01:17:18,416 Do you have children? 1562 01:17:18,459 --> 01:17:19,547 I got three. 1563 01:17:19,591 --> 01:17:21,027 Two boys, one girl. 1564 01:17:21,071 --> 01:17:23,247 They're in Texas with my ex. 1565 01:17:23,290 --> 01:17:24,335 You look fantastic. 1566 01:17:24,378 --> 01:17:26,119 You've had three children? 1567 01:17:26,163 --> 01:17:28,600 Yeah, thank you. 1568 01:17:28,644 --> 01:17:30,776 Did you gain much weight when you were pregnant? 1569 01:17:31,821 --> 01:17:34,693 Of course. I was huge. 1570 01:17:34,737 --> 01:17:36,390 I couldn't walk across the floor. 1571 01:17:36,434 --> 01:17:37,653 I was monstrous. 1572 01:17:39,524 --> 01:17:42,005 I dreamt last night I was the Port Authority building. 1573 01:17:43,223 --> 01:17:44,703 Port Authority building? 1574 01:17:46,313 --> 01:17:47,880 But it's fun. 1575 01:17:47,924 --> 01:17:49,403 I feel everything. 1576 01:17:49,447 --> 01:17:52,058 All sorts of tingles and twitches. 1577 01:17:52,102 --> 01:17:53,451 Sometimes I think I even hear 1578 01:17:53,494 --> 01:17:55,192 the blood running through my veins. 1579 01:17:55,235 --> 01:17:57,063 Especially at night when I'm lying down. 1580 01:17:57,107 --> 01:17:58,108 Hmm. 1581 01:17:59,762 --> 01:18:00,850 Live it up. 1582 01:18:03,853 --> 01:18:06,159 At first, I didn't really care. 1583 01:18:06,203 --> 01:18:08,684 But now I really love this child. 1584 01:18:08,727 --> 01:18:10,511 And I pray that he's healthy, 1585 01:18:10,555 --> 01:18:12,992 that he has 10 toes and 10 fingers. 1586 01:18:13,036 --> 01:18:16,343 He will. He'll be fine. 1587 01:18:16,387 --> 01:18:17,605 I know that. 1588 01:18:17,649 --> 01:18:19,172 Want to know how I know? 1589 01:18:19,216 --> 01:18:22,349 Okay. When my first baby, 1590 01:18:22,393 --> 01:18:23,699 my little boy, was born... 1591 01:18:25,222 --> 01:18:29,226 He came out with this real flat head. 1592 01:18:30,314 --> 01:18:32,577 It was strange. 1593 01:18:32,620 --> 01:18:34,666 The doctor said not to worry. 1594 01:18:34,710 --> 01:18:38,061 He was certain his head wouldn't stay that way. 1595 01:18:38,104 --> 01:18:39,932 You know why he was so certain? 1596 01:18:39,976 --> 01:18:41,412 No. How'd he know that? 1597 01:18:41,455 --> 01:18:43,675 He said he'd never seen a grown-up person 1598 01:18:43,719 --> 01:18:44,894 with a head like that. 1599 01:18:48,724 --> 01:18:50,160 Buddy's the father, isn't he? 1600 01:18:58,777 --> 01:19:00,170 Well, are you in love with him? 1601 01:19:01,475 --> 01:19:02,520 I don't know. 1602 01:19:03,913 --> 01:19:07,351 Sometimes I think I am... 1603 01:19:07,394 --> 01:19:09,962 But then sometimes I think it's just because of this one. 1604 01:19:12,356 --> 01:19:14,706 Buddy's a tough nut to crack, 1605 01:19:14,750 --> 01:19:17,665 but underneath all that stuff... 1606 01:19:19,276 --> 01:19:20,799 That's a good man. 1607 01:19:21,757 --> 01:19:22,845 Do you really think so? 1608 01:19:22,888 --> 01:19:24,672 I know it. I know it. 1609 01:19:27,197 --> 01:19:28,764 So, tell me, 1610 01:19:28,807 --> 01:19:30,200 how do you like having big tits? 1611 01:19:30,243 --> 01:19:31,723 [LAUGHS] 1612 01:19:36,510 --> 01:19:37,598 Where have you been? 1613 01:19:37,642 --> 01:19:39,862 With Sophia. She's terrific. 1614 01:19:39,905 --> 01:19:42,125 I know. Where is she? 1615 01:19:43,039 --> 01:19:44,431 She had to go. 1616 01:19:45,128 --> 01:19:46,999 Go? Where? 1617 01:19:47,043 --> 01:19:49,132 Home, I guess. 1618 01:19:49,175 --> 01:19:52,265 She said, don't worry, she'll be in touch. 1619 01:19:54,746 --> 01:19:56,095 Yeah, that's right. 1620 01:19:56,139 --> 01:19:58,663 She'll probably call me later. 1621 01:19:58,706 --> 01:20:01,100 That's a strange thing for her to do. 1622 01:20:01,144 --> 01:20:02,449 I really like her. 1623 01:20:02,493 --> 01:20:04,408 She's one of the nicest people I've ever met. 1624 01:20:04,451 --> 01:20:06,062 Don't eat that. It's bad for you. 1625 01:20:06,105 --> 01:20:07,977 Why'd you tell her those terrible stories about me? 1626 01:20:08,020 --> 01:20:09,543 What stories? 1627 01:20:09,587 --> 01:20:11,632 That I was medieval, a slave driver. 1628 01:20:13,025 --> 01:20:17,116 Buddy, what will you tell him about his mother? 1629 01:20:17,160 --> 01:20:18,335 Whose? 1630 01:20:18,378 --> 01:20:19,597 Your son. 1631 01:20:19,640 --> 01:20:21,120 What will you tell him about me? 1632 01:20:21,991 --> 01:20:23,340 He probably won't ask. 1633 01:20:23,383 --> 01:20:25,124 He'll notice he doesn't have a mother. 1634 01:20:26,343 --> 01:20:27,648 I'll tell him we're divorced. 1635 01:20:27,692 --> 01:20:29,302 Suppose he wants to meet me? 1636 01:20:29,346 --> 01:20:30,477 I'll stall him. 1637 01:20:30,521 --> 01:20:31,914 All his life? All mine. 1638 01:20:33,872 --> 01:20:35,221 Sounds cruel. 1639 01:20:37,789 --> 01:20:39,269 Yeah, maybe you're right. 1640 01:20:42,141 --> 01:20:44,448 I know. I'll tell him she died. 1641 01:20:48,452 --> 01:20:51,542 Where you going with my child?Out. 1642 01:20:51,585 --> 01:20:53,587 I'm going to French class with our child. 1643 01:20:53,631 --> 01:20:55,198 We have a contract. 1644 01:20:55,241 --> 01:20:57,678 Possession is 9/10 of the law. 1645 01:21:03,249 --> 01:21:04,250 Maggie! 1646 01:21:06,687 --> 01:21:07,688 Maggie! 1647 01:21:10,648 --> 01:21:13,607 Maggie, I got an apology to make! 1648 01:21:56,694 --> 01:21:58,304 Nice shot, big guy. 1649 01:21:59,218 --> 01:22:00,437 Thank you. 1650 01:22:04,006 --> 01:22:05,616 What's the matter, Buddy? 1651 01:22:06,269 --> 01:22:07,879 Nothing. 1652 01:22:07,923 --> 01:22:09,272 My dad says you're upset 1653 01:22:09,315 --> 01:22:10,490 'cause Maggie left you. 1654 01:22:11,709 --> 01:22:13,580 Your dad doesn't know everything. 1655 01:22:13,624 --> 01:22:15,017 That's true. 1656 01:22:15,060 --> 01:22:16,757 Besides, she didn't leave me. 1657 01:22:16,801 --> 01:22:18,411 She left the apartment. 1658 01:22:18,455 --> 01:22:19,760 You going to marry her? 1659 01:22:21,066 --> 01:22:22,676 Me? Marry her? 1660 01:22:24,374 --> 01:22:25,679 What are you, crazy? 1661 01:22:31,250 --> 01:22:32,991 You think I should? 1662 01:22:33,035 --> 01:22:34,210 Yeah. 1663 01:22:34,253 --> 01:22:35,602 Why? 1664 01:22:35,646 --> 01:22:37,691 Then maybe you'll sink one of those suckers. 1665 01:23:05,719 --> 01:23:07,547 Kurt, this is buddy. 1666 01:23:07,591 --> 01:23:10,072 KURT: I know. This is the third time you called me this weekend. 1667 01:23:10,115 --> 01:23:11,638 I know, but I've got an important question. 1668 01:23:12,857 --> 01:23:14,554 You know anything about plants? 1669 01:23:14,598 --> 01:23:16,600 No. But Betty does. 1670 01:23:16,643 --> 01:23:17,818 Ask her what she does 1671 01:23:17,862 --> 01:23:21,909 when the leaves turn brown and fall off. 1672 01:23:21,953 --> 01:23:23,259 Hold on. 1673 01:23:26,262 --> 01:23:28,307 She throws them away. 1674 01:23:28,351 --> 01:23:30,353 That's what I do. 1675 01:23:30,396 --> 01:23:32,442 Buddy, you want to come for dinner? 1676 01:23:32,485 --> 01:23:34,400 No, thanks. I got a lot to do. 1677 01:23:50,503 --> 01:23:53,158 SOPHIA: Hello? Sophia, this is Buddy. 1678 01:23:53,202 --> 01:23:55,465 Buddy, honey, how are you? 1679 01:23:55,508 --> 01:23:57,510 How's our little mother? 1680 01:23:57,554 --> 01:24:00,905 Maggie... She left. 1681 01:24:00,948 --> 01:24:02,863 With the baby? 1682 01:24:02,907 --> 01:24:04,430 Uh... 1683 01:24:04,474 --> 01:24:05,866 Let me think. 1684 01:24:06,519 --> 01:24:08,304 Yeah. 1685 01:24:08,347 --> 01:24:10,654 Yeah, she left with the baby. 1686 01:24:10,697 --> 01:24:12,525 Buddy, I'm so sorry. 1687 01:24:12,569 --> 01:24:14,049 Has she been in touch with you? 1688 01:24:14,092 --> 01:24:15,615 No, but if I hear... 1689 01:24:15,659 --> 01:24:17,661 Don't tell her I called. 1690 01:24:17,704 --> 01:24:19,924 I'm just anxious to know how she is. 1691 01:24:56,265 --> 01:24:57,744 [INAUDIBLE] 1692 01:25:38,698 --> 01:25:43,355 LARRY: Hello? BUDDY: Larry, I need a physical. 1693 01:25:43,399 --> 01:25:45,488 I've given you two this week. 1694 01:25:45,531 --> 01:25:46,706 But I'm losing weight. 1695 01:25:46,750 --> 01:25:48,969 Eat. I can't. 1696 01:25:49,013 --> 01:25:50,667 All I think about is Maggie. 1697 01:26:03,332 --> 01:26:04,594 [INAUDIBLE] 1698 01:26:43,023 --> 01:26:44,721 I went to his office. 1699 01:26:44,764 --> 01:26:47,811 I'll find that contract and rip it into in a million pieces. 1700 01:26:49,204 --> 01:26:52,381 See? I told him not to water them so much. 1701 01:26:53,382 --> 01:26:55,079 Just end this little game 1702 01:26:55,122 --> 01:26:56,559 and tell him you love him. 1703 01:26:56,602 --> 01:26:57,821 Because I don't love him. 1704 01:26:57,864 --> 01:26:59,475 Oh, yes, you do. 1705 01:27:02,478 --> 01:27:03,609 I do love him. 1706 01:27:04,262 --> 01:27:05,437 Or at least I did. 1707 01:27:07,178 --> 01:27:09,224 I have this dream 1708 01:27:09,267 --> 01:27:11,443 that Buddy and I do love each other. 1709 01:27:12,792 --> 01:27:15,360 Is that the dumbest dream you've ever heard? 1710 01:27:15,404 --> 01:27:17,449 Those are the ones that come true, 1711 01:27:17,493 --> 01:27:18,668 the dumb ones. 1712 01:27:20,452 --> 01:27:21,584 Go right now. 1713 01:27:21,627 --> 01:27:23,107 He's out of town today. 1714 01:27:26,545 --> 01:27:28,330 I miss you, Celia. 1715 01:27:32,159 --> 01:27:33,770 Take care of yourself, baby. 1716 01:27:37,252 --> 01:27:39,210 I don't know how to find her. 1717 01:27:39,254 --> 01:27:42,039 When I do find her I don't know what the hell to say. 1718 01:27:42,082 --> 01:27:45,347 For God's sakes. Why don't you just tell her? 1719 01:27:45,390 --> 01:27:47,000 Tell her what? 1720 01:27:47,044 --> 01:27:48,437 Tell her you love her. 1721 01:27:50,787 --> 01:27:52,092 Tell Maggie I love her? 1722 01:27:52,136 --> 01:27:55,879 It's not that hard. Try it, one word at a time. 1723 01:27:55,922 --> 01:27:57,315 I... Love... 1724 01:28:00,231 --> 01:28:01,798 Maggie. 1725 01:28:01,841 --> 01:28:03,365 BUDDY: Give me a break. 1726 01:28:03,408 --> 01:28:04,366 Maggie! 1727 01:28:08,718 --> 01:28:09,980 BUDDY: Wait a minute! 1728 01:28:10,023 --> 01:28:11,547 Don't come any closer to me! 1729 01:28:14,550 --> 01:28:15,594 I want to talk to you. 1730 01:28:15,638 --> 01:28:17,335 There's nothing to talk about. 1731 01:28:17,379 --> 01:28:18,554 I'm keeping this baby. 1732 01:28:18,597 --> 01:28:20,164 It's my baby, too. 1733 01:28:20,207 --> 01:28:23,167 I realize that. I'm willing to compromise. 1734 01:28:24,124 --> 01:28:26,518 Compromise? 1735 01:28:26,562 --> 01:28:29,391 You can have visiting rights once a month, 1736 01:28:29,434 --> 01:28:31,306 two weeks in the summertime, 1737 01:28:31,349 --> 01:28:32,785 New Year's Day... 1738 01:28:34,352 --> 01:28:35,614 Your birthday. 1739 01:28:49,019 --> 01:28:50,194 Maggie! 1740 01:28:53,023 --> 01:28:54,285 Hit the lights! 1741 01:28:59,769 --> 01:29:02,467 What do you want from me? 1742 01:29:02,511 --> 01:29:04,382 I want you to come home and have the baby. 1743 01:29:04,426 --> 01:29:06,776 Why do you want this baby? 1744 01:29:06,819 --> 01:29:08,212 Because I love it. 1745 01:29:08,255 --> 01:29:10,606 You can't love anything. 1746 01:29:16,786 --> 01:29:17,961 I love you. 1747 01:29:26,578 --> 01:29:29,581 Five minutes ago, when I smiled, 1748 01:29:29,625 --> 01:29:31,191 it was the first time since you left. 1749 01:29:46,555 --> 01:29:47,904 Boy, this is terrific. 1750 01:29:47,947 --> 01:29:50,254 I feel like God. 1751 01:29:50,297 --> 01:29:51,777 So what do you say? You want to get married? 1752 01:29:51,821 --> 01:29:53,039 Are you serious? 1753 01:29:53,083 --> 01:29:54,780 Of course, I'm serious. You want to get married? 1754 01:29:54,824 --> 01:29:56,652 Yes, Buddy, I'll marry you. 1755 01:29:57,653 --> 01:29:59,394 As soon as this is all over. 1756 01:29:59,437 --> 01:30:00,917 We can't wait that long. 1757 01:30:00,960 --> 01:30:02,179 When? 1758 01:30:02,222 --> 01:30:03,354 Now! 1759 01:30:04,007 --> 01:30:05,400 Now? 1760 01:30:05,443 --> 01:30:07,358 No son of mine is going to be born fatherless. 1761 01:30:07,402 --> 01:30:08,577 This is Reverend Williams. 1762 01:30:08,620 --> 01:30:09,665 How are you? Fine. 1763 01:30:09,708 --> 01:30:11,493 Let's get with it. Do you have a ring? 1764 01:30:11,536 --> 01:30:13,016 I forgot it! I got one. 1765 01:30:13,059 --> 01:30:14,147 We need a maid of honor! 1766 01:30:14,191 --> 01:30:15,235 That's me! 1767 01:30:15,279 --> 01:30:17,368 We are gathered here... 1768 01:30:17,412 --> 01:30:19,326 Skip all that. Get to the good stuff. 1769 01:30:19,370 --> 01:30:21,285 Do you... Buddy, take... "Buddy." 1770 01:30:21,328 --> 01:30:23,243 "Maggie." Oh, yeah! Do you take Maggie... 1771 01:30:23,287 --> 01:30:25,898 Will you help me out? 1772 01:30:25,942 --> 01:30:27,726 BUDDY: Pronounce us man and wife. 1773 01:30:27,770 --> 01:30:30,207 REVEREND: Of course I will. That's why I'm here. 1774 01:30:30,250 --> 01:30:31,426 Hallelujah! Hallelujah! 1775 01:30:31,469 --> 01:30:32,905 REVEREND: Hallelujah for everyone! 120210