All language subtitles for Bobs.Burgers.S13E06.Apple.Gore-chard.But.Not.Gory.1080p.HULU.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb_track3_[eng]

Normally, I'm a fan

of field trips,
but on Halloween?

Halloween's the one day
school is actually pretty okay.

Yeah, I mean, I love skipping
gym for the costume parade.

But, guys, we're going to

the Celtic Farms
Historical Apple Orchard.

I went there once
when I was little.

People dress up
in old-timey clothes

and teach you about ancient
farming techniques.

- It's badass.
- Oh, Rudy.

As long as we get back in time
for the costume parade.

Gene and Tina and I
are doing a group thing

and, not to brag,
but I'm the best part.

And what part
would that be, exactly?

I'm Helen Hunt,
emphasis on the "hunt."

When you see us together,
you'll get it,

- but it also works on its own.
- Yeah, it does.

- I mean, after you explain it.
- Eh...

What are you again, Jessica?

I'm Billie Idol-ish.

It's a combination of
Billy Idol and Billie Eilish.

I get the "-ish" part,
but not the "Idol."

He's an '80s guy.

My dad loves this costume,
so that makes one person.

Well, the good thing about today
is my dad's a chaperone,

and he said we could do
whatever we want.

- Break all the rules, whatever.
- Uh, I-I didn't

say that, Louise.

Have you ever seen
that movie The Purge?

He showed me that and said,
"That's you and your friends

at the apple orchard. Go nuts."

- I didn't show her that movie.
- Whatever you say.

Hey, uh, I looked up
this apple orchard online,

and I saw they have
a beekeeper and bees.

Is that part of the trip today?

Because I've always been
kind of curious

- about beekeeping, so...
- Let's keep today

- about the kids, 'kay, Dad?
- Oh. Okay.

- Rudy, sit down.
- Uh-huh.

There, I said it.
I've done my job.

What is it?

I just wish Chloe
was on this trip.

A lot of us
are missing her today.

- Here we go.
- What?

Chloe Barbash
is out sick for one day,

and you and all the other
little Chloe followers...

- Chloe clingers.
- Chloe clingers are acting

- like it's the end of the world.
- Not the end of the world.

Just a sad day with no sun
and all the birds are dead.

Pssh. Remind me,
what is so great about Chloe?

Wow, where to start?
She's charming.

- Gross. Hm...
- She's wise.

- She's sort of a thought leader.
- Oh, my God.

And she does a great duck voice.

Are we enjoying our lunches?

I get it, too. Goodbye.

- Okay, I do kind of like
the duck voice.
- Ugh.

You know, Chloe's not some
amazing, miraculous being.

She's just popular,
and popularity's dumb.

Even fidget spinners
were popular once.

Aw, now I miss
my fidget spinner.

Oh, God. Oh, God.

- Oh, God.
- Ooh, someone's participating

in the costume parade.

- What are you?
- That's what I was wondering.

I was gonna guess,
like, Hoopula,

the scary hula hoop vampire

and Hoopula's mysterious friend.

Or are you maybe just
going as a bunch of stuff

from your house?

Actually, I'm the twister,
from Twister.

And I'm Bill Paxton caught up
in the twister from Twister.

When Louise gets back from her
field trip,

- she'll be Helen Hunt.
- From Twister.

Huh, yeah. You're not
trying too hard at all.

Looks like your tornado's
dripping there.

- Oh. Little help?
- On it. Oops.

I lost an Oklahoma farm house.

- Kind of high maintenance.
- Yeah.

We gave our mom the concept,
and that lady ran with it.

Another streamer here...

Don't move yet.
Tina needs more streamers.

Gene, quit touching the cow.
The cow is not for touching.

Bobby, wipe my brow.

Well, I'm sure you can hold
those delicate creations

together till
the costume parade.

It's only most of the day away.

Yeah, and these costumes are,

you know,
not that hard to walk in.

Uh-huh. If I leave
for first period now,

I could maybe get there
by lunch.

Huh. This is an apple orchard?

Not a spooky crow playground?

Yeah, I'm pretty sure
that's crow for,

"Turn back, turn back."

I think this'll be fun.
Or do I?

Without Chloe here,
how am I supposed to know

- what's lame and what's cool?
- Yeah.

Maybe we should write stuff down
and show it to Chloe later?

- Ugh.
- What have we here?

Fellow peasants come
to join us in the orchard?

Hello, peasants.

- I am jolly Eleanor.
- And I am lowly Brom.

I see many strong laborers
among this group.

- Yeah, you do.
- Today, we want to show you

how land was farmed
in the British Isles

in the year 100 B. C.,

or as Brom and I call it,
the right now times.

And in 100 B. C.,

aka the right now times,

we still believe the world is
a mystical, mysterious place.

Fun fact: some farmers
from our time practiced paganism

and beseeched the pagan gods
to watch over the crops.

At the end of the day, you will
join us at our harvest festival,

where we ask the sun god
to smile upon us.

And by sun god,
I mean the vengeful

harvest deity
of pagan times, Lugh.

- Did that guy just spit on us?
- A little bit.

Of course, not just anyone
can ask the sun god Lugh

to smile upon us.

No. For that, we need
a hero of the harvest.

Someone special and worthy
of such an honor.

Someone held in esteem
by their peers.

Someone with that "it" factor.

So, at day's end,

if the sacred corncob
points your way,

that means you may have
the honor

of helping bless our crops.

Okay.

I forgot how weird
this field trip is.

Hi. I-I'm Bob.
I'm, uh, a parent...

uh, chaperone. I heard
there are bees at this orchard.

I've-I've always been kind of
interested in beekeeping.

I'm a chef in a restaurant.

I know your time
doesn't have restaurants, yet.

- Did you have a question?
- Um, I forgot it.

J-Just looking forward
to those bees.

Keep it in your bee suit,
big guy.

- Now let our labors begin.
- Hell yeah.

Bob's Burgers.

- Hey, Mom.
- Mom.
- Hey, kids.

Wait, why are you calling me?
Do you both have diarrhea again?

- So in sync.
- No, Mom, it's the costumes.

They're not in great shape.
Things are falling off,

- a lot.
- What do we do?

It's embarrassing to admit,
but I never learned to glue.

- Uh... I'll come and fix them.
- What?

Yeah, yeah,
I-I'll close the restaurant

for, uh, just a few minutes,

and I'll come
and fix your costumes.

- Mom, you can't do that.
- What if we get a customer?

Hey, this is the costume parade
we're talking about.

I'll grab my supplies.
See you soon.

You're the bravest person
I know. I love you. Bye.

Okay, and over here
is our orchard.

You can tell
by all the apple trees.

Hey, look at that.

The creepy barn
with the inviting

-"off limits" sign?
- Yeah.

And as TV has taught me,

where there's a barn,
there's a hayloft.

Which I believe is a fun thing
to jump off of,

especially when you're
on a field trip on a farm.

- I'm on a field trip on a farm.
- I say we try
to sneak away later

and see if we can't
have a little jump.

Louise, Jessica, move it.

Ugh. Coming.
We'll be back for you, hay.

If you're there, stay fluffy.

The apple. From gnarled

and twisting branches comes
this sweet and redolent gift.

- Let's consider her, shall we?
- We shall.

Oh, man. Gonna be hard to hang
in there until hayloft time.

- If there's a hayloft.
- Yeah. Apples?

More like nap-ples.

'Cause this place
makes me want to take a nap.

No, I got it.

..."apalaz," which,
incidentally...

- Huh?
- What?

Oh, nothing. I thought I saw
something, but I didn't.

- That's a great story.
- Girls.

Shh!

Oh, crows, please.
You're creeping me out.

Okay, who wants to hear
about cutting edge,

- up-to-the-minute
fertilizing techniques?
- Yes, please.

We peasants fertilize
these apple trees using

something we possess
in great amounts.

- Apples?
- Oranges?
- Uh, no.

- Jell-O? Eyebrows?
- No.
- Rigatoni?

Nope, it's manure.
We-we use manure.

- From our livestock.
- Our sheep and goats
eat the weeds

and then when they defecate,

they walk on it
and enrich the soil.

That's probably
why it smells so...

baad.

Whoa, Jessica,
you do a great sheep voice.

That was uncanny.

- Do it again.
- No, no.

I'm baa-shful.

Whoa-ho.

All eyes are upon you, girl
dressed as Billy Idol, sort of.

Looks like we have a contender
for the hero of the harvest.

What? Really? Wow.

But, hey, enough about me,

Huh, someone's having
her moment.

Way to fill that Chloe Barbash
popularity void.

I mean, if the
baa fits.

Wait, that doesn't work.

Ha. They loved it anyway.

- Now, we'll pick our apples.
- And wash them.

Yes, even though the washing
part is not period-accurate.

Brom, you have to let that go.

Is it supposed to be
kind of hard to find the apples?

The crop was meager this year.

The sun god Lugh
did not smile upon us.

Also, it's a little late
in the season,

so, you know, be cool about it.

Psst. Hey. Loft? Hayloft?

Oh, uh, I don't know.
Maybe we should stay here

and pick a few more
aa-ples.

So good.

Jessica, come on, let's go.

Uh, maybe we put a pin
in the hayloft?

I mean, this is pretty great,
right? The fresh air?

The constant ego-stroking
from kids who usually ignore me?

Okay, fine.
I'll just jump by myself.

- And maybe I'll bring you
back some hay. Aah!
- Going somewhere?

Pssh. (chuckles) No.

Come now, back to the group.

- I found an apple.
- Where?

Aw, he found an apple?

And some glue here...

And a tree there...

Work your magic,
you pipe cleaner totin' mama.

You're very talented, Mom.

This one isn't your
most practical design.

These are, uh, a little busy,

but I think we've got a shot at
at least third place.

Third's for turds,
we're getting gold.

And we're done.

- Eh...
- What?

Why aren't the cow and the trees
and stuff on the twister?

- It seems confusing.
- Because they're on Bill Paxton.

- It was a creative choice.
- Yeah, she's brilliant.

- You don't get it, Schnur.
- Eh, whatever.

- Yeah, that's right.
- Okay, they're feeling
sturdy... ish.

Oh, but don't bend over
or move your arms or legs

- or sit down.
- But sitting down
is my signature move.

Has everyone given your apples
to our cider millers?

It's cider time. Huzzah!

Excuse me, is-is that a beehive?

It's an apple crate.

Sir, you have to stop asking
if things are beehives.

Eventually, I'll be right.

Well, I think the quarter
was in your armpit all along.

- Magic.
- Wait, how did he do that?

How'd he do that?

Ugh. It wasn't that cool.

What's wrong, Jessica?
Worried Rudy's gonna walk away

with hero of the harvest?

The dumb thing that somehow

matters to you
more than amazing haylofts?

No. Sheep voice
can hold its own, okay?

Oh... Oh...

You're so good at magic.

Uh, more like maagic.

Huh? Nothing? Okay.

- Rudy, do another trick.
- Yeah.

Oh, uh, great, but, uh,
pretend I'm holding a top hat.

Someone's getting attention.

Could you be our
hero of the harvest?

Wow. For real?

- Okay, I guess my time is done.
- Sorry, Jessica.

And don't worry,
I won't bring up the fact that,

this whole time, we could've
been sneaking away

- and jumping in hay.
- No regrets. It was a rush.

Uh... yeah, okay.

You don't know what it's like
to have everyone hanging

on your every baa.
I didn't know what it was like.

Apparently, only Chloe
knew what it was like.

- But it was glorious.
- Please.

I could have people hanging on
all my stuff if I wanted to.

Louise, this is fourth grade.

You can't just make
that kind of popularity happen.

You got to earn it with, like,

an amazing spontaneous
sheep impression.

So, good luck with that.

Okay. Uh... watch this.

I've got a little something
in my back pocket.

Look how mushed
the apples are getting.

- Sorry?
- I said...

How do you do that?

You make a fist, you keep
your mouth mostly closed,

but you say "girl"
into your hand.

- Girl, girl, girl.
- I can't do it.

Some people
have trouble with it.

- Do it again.
- Ooh...

Are you our hero of the harvest?

Whoa, oh!

Me? "Harv" you serious?

Truly, though, it-it's nice
just to be considered.

Yes, the hour of the harvest
festival has arrived.

The sack lunches await.

The PB and Js grow soggy.

So, we've kind of got
to pick our hero now.

- And you have been chosen.
- What?

Wait, so I'm
the hero of the harvest?

- I know, right?
- Congratulations, Louise.

Yay, Louise!

I mean, I was just bending
space and time with my magic,

- but whatever.
- Do it again.

Do it again. Do it again.

Okay, okay, okay.

Crap, that's good.

- I can't get enough
of that sound.
- No, you can't.

- Wow.
- It's so weird, but I love it.

Be right back, getting napkins.

My corncob got jelly on it.

Hero of the harvest
problems, right?

Hey, Louise.
So, hero of the harvest, huh?

- Are you having fun?
- I kind of am.

Finally getting
some positive reactions

to your "doy doy" thing?

Yeah, these people let me do it.

We did let you do it,
for a year.

But it's all you did,
so we had to make some rules.

People were suffering.
Hey, guess what?

Me and Ms. Labonz
are friends now.

- Ms. Labonz and I.
- Sorry.

Now I know where she gets it.

Okay, everyone,
our ritual will begin soon

and our hero will be crowned.

Yes, yes, yes. Where do you
need me? Over there?

- Light's good over there.
- But first, we're all
going to learn

a traditional harvest dance.

There's dancing
at apple orchards? Okay.

Louise? Hayloft?
Want to jumpy jump?

Oh, now that
I'm hero of the harvest,

- you've got hay fever?
- Yeah. Basically.

Okay, fine.
I guess we should do it now

if we're gonna do it
because after the ceremony

there's probably
gonna be handshakes, speeches,

- that whole deal.
- Okay, calm down.

- Hey, Teddy.
- Linda.

What happened? You're supposed
to be open by now.

Sorry. I had to go to the kids'
school to fix their costumes.

And they fell apart
before I walked out the door,

so I had to fix them again.

It's okay, it's fine.

I didn't mind waiting out here
in the cold wind.

Uh-uh, Bob's Burgers.

Hi, kids. Oh, no, again?

- No. No.
- Did you sit down?

- I told you not to sit down.
- Hang up. Hang up.

Okay, I'm coming back.
Uh, Teddy'll understand.

No, no, no!

Yeah, that's Teddy shouting.
Tina says hi.

Hi, Tina.
Linda, don't leave.

All right, I'll see you soon.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bye.

Sorry, Teddy,
it's the costume parade.

- But you belong here.
- You're just hungry.

- Go in the back, get a bun.
- Oh, a bun.

Okay, see you soon.

Look at that hayloft.

Could I do this for a living?
Find haylofts? I probably could.

Are we not gonna
talk about these?

The creepy hay dolls?

I'd talk about them, but I'm
kind of afraid they'd hear us.

- Anyway, want to jump?
- Yeah.

And we'll, uh, learn the harvest
dance later in life, right?

Absolutely.
At prom, I bet.

♪ Oh, the raven pecks
the eye of the ♪

♪ Piggy in the sty,
and high up in the trees ♪

♪ Blows a foul-smelling breeze ♪

♪ The leaves are falling down ♪

♪ They lie dying on the ground ♪

♪ The raven pecks the eye
of the piggy in the sty ♪

♪ And high up in the trees ♪

♪ Blows a foul-smelling breeze ♪

♪ The leaves are falling down ♪

♪ They lie dying on the ground ♪

I do enjoy a good jump.

One more?
The dolls are nodding.

Hm, I don't want to keep
my fanbase waiting.

You know how they love a hero.

But maybe we can
squeeze in one more loft leap.

Attagirl.

Hm, should we toss
some more hay down there?

It's looking less fluffy,
more leg-breaky.

Yeah, I hate
when my legs get broken.

Oh. That's a... Huh.

What are we looking at here?

Someone standing on a platform
with a crown on their head?

The hero of the harvest, judging
by the cool corn cob necklace.

And then they're... set on fire?

Uh-huh, and then

a bunch of crows
come and eat them

while they're still on fire.

What's that supposed to be?

I don't know, maybe the ashes

of the sacrificed person?

Put under the tree as an
offering to this terrifying

- face in the sky?
- Lugh.

This is not what
a hero of the harvest

wants to stumble upon
in a hayloft.

No, not at all. But, I mean,
they're not gonna sacrifice

anyone on a school
field trip, right?

We-we have really
good chaperones

- who are protecting us.
- Right.

I don't have to be worried.

We'll probably just
do a little dancing,

do a little crowning,
I might have some cider

just to calm my nerves,
and it'll all be fine.

Hero of the harvest.

- Glory to Lugh.
- There she is. Our hero

- of the harvest has arrived.
- Time for the ceremony.

- Um...
- BROM and ELEANOR: Hero
of the harvest. Glory to Lugh.

- Hero of the harvest.
- Louise, uh,

- Glory to Lugh.
- I don't normally say this,

- but, uh, run, you should run!
- Aah!

Oh, are you a-a beehive?

Louise?

Louise? Louise, where are you?

I can't run anymore,
so I-I hope you're very close.

- Psst. Over here.
- Oh, thank God.

- Why did you run away screaming?
- Shh.

- They're gonna hear you.
- Who?

The creepy peasants
who want to light me on fire

and offer up my
hero of the harvest ashes

to the sun god Lugh.
Aah!

Oh, get this off me.
Get this off me.

Oh, wow.
Uh, okay.

That's not gonna happen, Louise.

Oh, really? Then why was there
a painting in the barn

that had exactly that on it?

Oh, you went to the barn?

That's not gonna look great
for me as a chaperone.

- Dad!
- Sorry, but, I mean,

probably there's another
explanation for a barn painting?

Okay, did you not
see those terrifying costumes?

What, the horse skull things?

Yeah, they were a bit much,
but so are the costumes

your mother made
for Tina and Gene, arguably.

Leave Team Twister out of this.

Louise, really, though,

why would they want
to do that to you?

Because I'd make
the best sacrifice.

- I'm popular now.
- Oh. You-you think
you're popular?

I mean, yeah.
Hero of the harvest.

Wait, what do you mean,
"You think you're popular"?

No, nothing.
I-I mean, I...

That-that makes total sense.

I just never imagined
that kids would enjoy

that noise you make.

I always thought of it,
well, you know, differently.

And I always thought
you were jealous.

Uh, look, we should get back.

Oh, no,
I'm not going back there.

Louise, I promise
they won't sacrifice you.

Okay, fine, but if I'm right

and I get sacrificed,
I'm gonna say I told you so.

Sounds good. Uh...
I think we came from this way.

Hard to find your bearings in
a field full of the same tree.

- Oh, my God.
- What?

Look-- ashes.

- Oh.
- See?

That's probably just
from a fun orchard bonfire.

- Mm-hmm.
- But just to be safe,

when we get back,
stay near Ms. Labonz.

- She'll protect us.
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Welcome, everyone,
to the Wagstaff Halloween

Costume parade.

Some parents complained
that the traditional Wagstaff

costume contest was
just a little too contest-y.

So, here we are-- parade.

But there will also be prizes.

Because otherwise,
why are we even doing this?

Now, strap in,

there's a lot of costumes
to get through.

I'll be in my office
for most of them.

Coach Blevins, text me
if there's a good one.

Not that they aren't all good,
even that one.

Where's Louise?
We're Team Twister, damn it.

- We need our Helen Hunt.
- Maybe the real Helen Hunt

is available and looking
for something to do today?

I think we're really lost now.

So, just an update on that.

- You know, it was kind of nice.
- What was nice?

- The feeling of being popular.
- But,

I don't know,
is popularity that great?

I mean, you also
ended up running away

from imaginary cult people
into the orchard,

where the temperature
seems to be dropping, rapidly.

It's true.
Everyone wants a piece of you.

Sometimes as a sacrifice
to the gods.

Hey, how far are we
from the group?

- Miles?
- Maybe.

- Oh, my God.
- What?

- It's here!
- What? Oh, the beehive?

It's just like I imagined.

Actually, I didn't really
imagine it like that.

Or I guessed there would be
someone in a cool bee suit

and they would open it up and
my life would never be the same.

Yeah, and the queen bee would
probably see me and be like,

-"Hey, you get it."
- Maybe I just

take a quick peek.

Found you!

- Aah!
- Oh, my God!

- Bees, attack!
- That's not how bees work.

- I-I don't think.
- No, it is not.

Everything's okay. We heard you
found the paintings. So sorry.

- That must've been bad.
- Yeah, sorry about that.

The painting is for our
haunted orchard attraction.

Yeah, it was
for the haunted orchard.

Not an instruction manual
for a pagan cult,

like we thought it
might be. Whoops.

- Haunted orchard?
- Yeah, for Halloween.

We do a haunted hayride
for teens and adults

that ends with a spooky
pagan barn ritual.

You might've seen the
really cute hay dolls I made.

Which are not historically
correct, but are good.

Probably why the sign
on the barn says "off limits."

- Bob, I blame you, somehow.
- I know.

But the ashes under the tree.

We saw some ashes
under an apple tree.

I-I told her it was just a fun
orchard bonfire, probably.

No, it's sacrificed
school children ashes.

- What?!
- Kidding, kidding.

- Ha. Funny. Pagans.
- It's wood ash.

Good fertilizer
for the fruit trees.

I mean, not good enough, because
our crop sucked this year,

but, please,
come finish the ceremony.

We'll take off the costumes.

It was Brom's idea to borrow
these from the haunted hayride

and use them
in a fourth grade field trip.

In my defense, I forgot
kids were scared of things.

Come on, we got to move if we're
gonna make it back in time

- for the costume parade crap.
- Okay.

I guess I could go for a crown
and some worship from my peers.

Or we could do some bee stuff?

- We don't have time.
- Darn it.

Too bad.
The bees are really great.

These panda pants
have been itching me,

but it was worth it.
Ah, itchy, itchy, itchy.

- Scratchy, scratchy...
- Okay,

looks like we have
just a few costumes to go.

More than Coach Blevins'
text implied, but that's fine.

Still no Louise.
What the hell?

Yeah, where is this
apple orchard? Appalachia?

Next, we have Gene, Tina,

and Louise Belcher dressed as...

well, something complicated.
Wait, I don't see Louise.

Group costume,
missing part of your group.

- Oh, God. Here we go.
- Okay.

Then, I guess,
let's get twisted, sister.

Damn it.

Wait!

I'm here. I made it.

- Yes!
- Louise!

It's time to Helen Hunt
some tornadoes.

Oh, right, Twister.

They're supposed to be Twister.

Hi, kids. How'd we do?

Well, we left it all
on the field. I mean,

not all of it, but a lot
of parts fell off on the field.

But we did not win a prize
of any kind.

Oh, no. You look so good.
We worked so hard.

It was very dramatic,
though, Linda.

We almost didn't make it.
We were running late

because this whole thing
where Louise thought

she was gonna get sacrificed
on the field trip.

I'll tell you later.
She's fine.

Anyway, we pretty much
jumped off a moving school bus

in the parking lot
and then we made it.

But the judges were dumb.
I think our kids got robbed.

I even threw in a bit of this.

But nothing.

Yeah, I think people
were confused, Louise.

They didn't remember
that part in Twister.

And I thought we had
a rule about that sound?

No more doy-doy?

- Eh.
- All right. Well, you probably

want to do different costumes
for trick-or-treating.

I get it. You want to be pirates
or a ghost or something stupid?

- What? No.
- If a Halloween costume

doesn't hurt a little bit,
you're not doing it right.

Plus, do you know
how many 40-something-year-olds

are gonna get this reference
and go crazy for it?

We're gonna be rolling in candy.

Aw. Well then, what do you say--

- should we go bigger?
- No!

- No, no, no.
- No, no, no, we're good.
We're good.

You sure?
What about, like,

a battery-powered fan
that's strapped to Tina

- blows all the streamers?
- Oh, maybe.

♪ Oh, the raven pecks the eye
of the piggy in the sty ♪

♪ And high up in the trees
blows a foul-smelling breeze ♪

♪ The leaves are falling down,
they lie dying on the ground ♪

♪ The raven pecks the eye
of the piggy in the sty ♪

♪ And high up in the trees
blows a foul-smelling breeze ♪

♪ The leaves are falling down,
they lie dying on the ground ♪

♪ The raven pecks the eye
of the piggy in the sty ♪

♪ And high up in the trees
blows a foul-smelling breeze ♪

♪ The leaves are falling down ♪

♪ They lie dying
on the ground. ♪

Captioning sponsored by
BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT

and TOYOTA.