All language subtitles for Bobs.Burgers.S13E03.What.About.Job.1080p.HULU.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb_track3_[eng]

- Linda.
- What is it?
What happened? What happened?

- I heard something.
- Oh.

I-I really hope
it's not a burglar.

I'm not good at fighting.

- Or running away.
- Oh, God. What if it is?

The house is a mess.
I feel bad for the burglar.

- Hey.
- Oh, hey, Louise.

Are you okay?

I've never seen you
sweep anything before.

Yeah. Sorry about
the sugar bowl.

I was just gonna have a few
spoonfuls for clean energy.

- Okay.
- Why do you have a blow-dryer?

- And a pillow?
- They're our weapons.

We thought there was a burglar.
We were gonna style him.

And then he could have
a little rest.

- Hmm. That's a great plan.
- Here, let me help you
with that.

It's the middle of the night,
I thought you went to bed.

You're still working
on your career day assignment?

Oh, no, all done, it's just in
invisible ink, so, you know...

- Hmm.

Hey, what's going on?

Are you guys having
Midnight Breakfast without me?

No, I was just getting down
the sugar bowl

- to have some sugar for...
- Clean energy.

Yeah, so I could finish/start
my poster board

- and the bowl fell.
- Oh, your poster looks great.

Not too busy.

Ugh, I just...
we're supposed to research

different careers that
we could see ourselves being

when we grow up and I-I can't.

Oh. I mean, yeah. There
are a lot of jobs out there.

Doctor, lawyer...
I know there's others.

I'm gonna be a cheesemonger.

Give me that cheese
and I'll mong it.

Based on the video
we watched in class,

it seems like most jobs
are just boring?

No offense.
The restaurant is great.

But what if I grow up and I just
am not really anything cool?

Or exciting. What if I'm just
a boring-life person?

You? No.

Louise, you are never gonna
be a boring-life person.

You know what's very not
boring to me, is sleep.

And then helping you with this
very quickly in the morning.

Or we get into it.
I mean, I have a good idea

of what Louise could be
when she grows up.

Uh, great.
Can you tell us in the morning?

I mean, sure,
it might seem like you have

a boring job,
but that'll just be your cover.

- So there you are,

at your data organizing job,

just organizing data,
like you always do. Or do you?

Hey, Louise.
A bunch of us are gonna go

to the chicken finger place
and get shrimp.

- Do you want to join?
- Eh. I wish I could.

Suit yourself.

Here's the target in Sicily.

Our client wants it done
discreetly, but also,

- in a sort of cool way.
- Here's your grabber, sir.

- How's that grab you?
- Love it, sir.

and wait for him to come back

from whatever he was doing
out on the town.

Probably eating spaghetti
with his mistress.

Whoa!

Out of my way, short stuff.

Speaking of shorts...

- Freddie, meet wedgie.

My butt crack!

That's right.
You're gonna be a highly skilled

- wedgie-sassin.
- Oh.

and professional human statue
street performer Rudy.

Long night at the data
organization office?

Yeah. One data was
so disorganized,

I really had to wedge it
into shape.

Well, I'm gonna hit the hay.

Good night, platonic roommate
and good friend.

- Good night.
- Oh. Got a little paint
on you. Sorry.

No! Rudy.

- You've been wedgied.
- That's right.

You aren't the only highly
skilled wedgie-sassin in town.

You have an archrival,
and she's missing

a few ingredients
from her brain bread.

Millie.

Ugh. Millie is still copying me?

Yep, big-time.

She even copied
your 401(k) plan.

Anyway, as you sit by
Rudy's hospital bed...

I never meant for this
to happen to you.

I should have told you
not to wear underwear.

This is all my fault.

- Mrs. Regular Sized?
- No, I'm just a friend.

- A platonic friend and roommate.
- Of course.

- Will he live, Doc?
- I don't know.

Not because I used
to be a dentist

and I just became a doctor,

but because it's more dramatic
this way.

We're trying to make
the hospital more dramatic.

Anyway, your platonic friend
and roommate

has the worst wedgie
I've ever seen.

His B-crack
has been stretched 33%.

I hope the authorities
find whoever did this.

Whoever did this is hoping
I don't find them first.

that all the wedgie people
know about.

It looks like it's just

some kind of arty-farty store,
but really,

it's a cool weapons depot/fun
hangout spot in general.

But the only art Louise
is interested in

is the art of revenge.

- Cranberry juice?
- Not tonight.

I have to have my wits about me.

Yeah. Heard your platonic
roommate got wedged real bad.

Millie went against
the wedgie-sassin code.

- I'll take one of everything.
- The tushie tickler?

- Yep.
- The patoot pincher?

- Oh, yeah.
- The cheek splitter?

Edith, I said everything.

Okay, okay.

I couldn't tell
if you were serious

or if you were
just doing that for effect.

Eh, it was both.

You want your vengeance mix, boss?

Crank it.

Hey. Where do you think
you're going?

I think I'm going inside.

And you're going to cheek-ah-go.

Oh, there's my BFF.

Want to make
some friendship bracelets?

Or fight to the death?
Either works for me.

You hurt Rudy's booty.
Now I'm gonna do my duty.

Okay, so the fighting one.

Before we fight, I got to know--
why'd you do it, Millie?

Why'd you split Rudy's ham?

I was just trying
to get your attention.

I think maybe I'd be
a more fun roommate for you.

We could join up,
tag-team our wedgie work,

- just have fun with it.
- Never.

Well, then I'll just
wedgie everyone you love

until you agree to be
my wedgie-sassin partner/

roommate/best friend forever
for life for reals.

Last chance, Louise.

Be my BFF or BFW.

What's a BFW?

- Best forever wedgie.
- A forever wedgie?

That wedgie is outlawed
under the Geneva Conventions.

Yeah, I know,

but that's so conventional.

Uh-oh.

Now, here's what's gonna happen.

You're gonna stay away from my
platonic friends and loved ones,

you're gonna stop copying me

and you're gonna leave
the wedgie business for good.

Or I give you a forever wedgie.

Mm, I'll take
the forever wedgie.

Okay. It's your crack's funeral.

Wait! I changed my mind.
I'll do the other stuff.

All right. But I'm gonna hold on
to this just in case.

C-Can we still be friends?

Acquaintances?
Or-or best acquaintances?

I love you!

Rudy, you're awake.
How's your butt?

Doctor says it's got a big crack
down the middle.

But it's gonna make it.

How was your weekend?

I went to brunch six times.
I'm so full.

Mine was pretty uneventful.

Just... organized some data.

- Mm-kay, bye.
-: And some underwear.

And you drink your coffee
with a little grabber,

because, secretly,
you're a badass ass assassin.

And your career
isn't boring at all. The end.

Ooh! That does sound
like a pretty cool career.

Yeah, and totally possible.

Yeah. I-I guess.

Those grabbers do sound fun,

but I think it might be
pretty hard to break into

the international wedgie game
without connections.

So, should we... get to bed?

Or maybe you're something even
more exciting than an assassin.

-: Okay.
- Like a teacher.

In a school? Tina, how dare you?

Hold on.
You teach a little class

on treasure hunting
in Kathmandu.

Okay. Treasure hunting.
I'm listening.

So, you hunted for treasure
until you made your fortune,

and then you decided to teach
the next generation.

But when one of the most
beautiful women in the world--

who also has
a great personality--

shows up with a request
you can't refuse,

you, um...

can't refuse it.

Hi, Louisianna.
It's me, your sister, Tina.

And this is my butler, Gene,
who looks like your brother,

but it isn't him.
Um, this one's British.

:
Anyone want some tea?

A treasure's been lost,
and I need your help.

Tina, you know I'm retired
from treasure hunting.

I sold all my treasure findings
and bought a bunch of candy.

Look, I even keep
an extra-long licorice whip

in my hat for snacking.

But wh-what if I told you
the whole world was in danger

because a treasure
had fallen into the wrong hands

and that this artifact
is probably

the most valuable object
in the world

a-and it could also end it?

- Sausage?
- Not now, Gene.

Louisianna, listen,
the artifact is a certain CD

of a certain
never-before-released

Boyz4Now song.

You don't mean-- But...

...that's in a vault
in the Boyz4Now Museum.

Correction, it was there.

It got stolen a week ago.

Oh, no.
That CD of the first song

they ever recorded together,

"I Kiss My Pillow
and Think of You,"

has always been considered
too exciting for human ears.

That's right. When
the record executive heard it,

he pooped and peed his pants and
also barfed until he exploded.

So anyone who hears it...

Will also immediately pee
and poop their pants

and barf all at the same time
until they explode.

Ooh, my.

If someone were to broadcast it
around the world,

my God.

It's diabolical.

It's diarrhea-bolical.

I'll get my things.

I'm not sure we have time
for smoothies, Louise.

We're not here for smoothies.
We're here for answers.

But, yeah, if anyone does want
a smoothie, that's fine.

Well, isn't this a surprise.

Rudy, we need information.

You know I got out

of the information-getting
business, Louise.

Plus, I'm mad at you
from before.

We were supposed to move in together

as platonic roommates
and friends,

and then you ran off
to Kathmandu.

I had to break the lease,
and it broke my heart.

Platonically.

Sorry about that, Rudes.

Being roommates
wouldn't have worked out anyway.

Sometimes I sleepwalk
holding a knife.

Roommates don't like it,
but it's perfectly safe.

Well, it looks like
you want information from me

and I want you out of my joint.

I guess we better settle this
the way we used to--

with a smooth-off.

Holy crap.

Oh, boy.
This one has banana.

Chunky.

Oh, it's too thick!

- Whoo-hoo!
- Yeah!

Ah, fine. You win.

What do you want to know?

I want to know what you know

about
the never-before-released single

- by Boyz4Now.
- Shh! Keep your voice down.

I heard it was in the wind,
but I didn't want to believe it.

Well, you can believe
my sister Tina.

She's the curator
of the Boyz4Now Museum.

And their manager
and personal masseuse.

Well, I've heard whispers
they reopened

the Cold War Disco Caves
in Siberia.

That might be connected
to the missing CD.

Hmm. I don't suppose we could
convince you to come along?

Think we'll be back by 6:00?

Eh, 6:00-ish.

But I can't promise you
that you won't pee.

Or poop. Or barf.

No one can promise anyone that.

And just to say,
what an interesting career, huh?

Travel, free smoothies,
cool hats.

So how do we find
the Cold War Disco Caves?

Also, what is
a Cold War disco cave?

They're top secret fallout
shelters with great lighting

and incredible acoustics where
people could still disco dance

in the event of a nuclear war.

We'll find 'em.
We just got to use our ears.

Lot of ground to cover.
Better get started.

- Ah. Never mind.

They're right below us.

- Oh, good.
- But how do we get in?

I found a hatchy.
Sorry, you Americans say "door."

Wait.

- Booby trap.
- How do you know?

Icicles don't grow sideways.

What do we do?

We sled. Hop on.

Oh, wait. So we just...

- Oh, good.

You're just in time
for my next dance.

- Jimmy Jr.?
- Yeah, it's J-Ju.

Total evil mastermind.

Equally dangerous
on the dance floor.

- Hey, Tina.
- Zeke.

Y'all want
some Cold War disco snacks

before we show you
how the world's gonna end?

We got bean dip.

In England,
we call it "mushy brown."

Glad you could make it
for the big show, Tina.

And I see you brought along
your famous sister,

Louisianna Jones... Belcher.

- And me.
- And me.

Hi, I'm Rudy,
owner of Rudy's Smoothies.

- Oh, man, those are great.
- Thank you.

Wait, Tina, Jimmy Jr.'s
the bad guy in your story?

Yeah. I'm mad at him.
He wouldn't share

- his gum yesterday.
- Okay.

Jimmy Jr.,
why are you doing this?

You know why.

Because you're jealous of my
completely professional massage

and museum curation-based
relationship with the Boyz4Now?

Yes, Tina, I am.

But there won't be anything
to be jealous of

when their first single
wipes out the entire human race.

But the Boyz4Now
will still be alive.

Because I don't think
you can explode

from hearing your own song.

Or they would have exploded
when they recorded it.

It doesn't matter, Tina.

Their reputation will be ruined.

Because people don't like
being exploded.

Uh, how you gonna do it?
You want to do that thing

where you tell us
your entire plan?

Not so I have time to figure out
how to stop you or anything.

With pleasure.

This transmitter
can reach every TV,

every phone, every Bluetooth
device in the world.

And when I tell Zeke to put on

"I Kiss My Pillow
and I Think of You,"

everyone will pee and poop
and barf and explode

and you'll have to marry me

because everyone else
is all exploded.

Okay. Keep saying words.

And Zeke will hit
this switch right here

so it doesn't play in
our noise-cancelling headphones

but it does play
everywhere else.

And Tina will put these on
so she doesn't poop,

pee, barf and explode.

- What about us?
- Oh, you're all gonna explode.

- Oh, boy.
-: Tina, distract him.

Uh, hey, Jimmy Jr.,

what if we have appetizers
at our wedding?

Fine. Oh, and, FYI, I'll do
the couples dance by myself.

- No offense.
- Totally. Totally.

Zeke, let's do this.
Headphones on.

Get ready to press play.

I'm definitely putting these on.

Right over my ears.

Good. That's what I said to do.

- Zeke, hit it!
- Yeah!

Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew!

So, in the future,
I'm gonna explode Jimmy Jr.?

Yeah. You're gonna save
the world and explode Jimmy Jr.

What? He didn't share his gum.

Well, I mean, cool story, Tina,

but I think now,
if you find treasure,

you should just give it back
to the country it came from?

I don't know. I'm just gonna put
"data organizer,"

"paper stamper"
and "desk sitter" on my poster

and go to bed.

I'll get an "F,"
because I'm supposed to write

about each one and provide
images and blah, blah, blah,

but at least I'll be done.

Uh, wait.
Wh-What if I have a story,

uh, about what you do?

Maybe you're right, Louise.

Maybe when you grow up

you-you won't be
anything special.

Yep, great start.
: Dad, do better.

At first. A-At first.

Maybe you will be a desk sitter
o-or a paper stamper.

Lots of people are.
And that's fine.

But, you know,
not doing anything special

isn't necessarily
a permanent condition.

Just because you stop growing

doesn't mean you stop growing.

Whoa. Wait, what?

It's... Just listen.

So, you're older.
You're in your 20s, let's say.

And let's take the restaurant
out of this.

Maybe your mom and I close
the restaurant at some point

and we just, I don't know...

And, uh, sell 'em
on the Internet.

You know, little pajamas
for candles. Right?

Pajamas for candles?

Yeah. Pajandles.
We talked about this.

Okay. But, anyway, uh,

none of us work
at the restaurant anymore.

- And you go to college.
- Community college.

- That we can afford.
- All the boys,
half the price.

exactly what you want to do,
so you choose, uh, biology.

Or, uh, chemistry.

Or-or-or biochemistry,

because you like
those Bunsen burner thingies.

Because of the fire.

I do kinda like
those Bunsen burner thingies.

And you land a job.

I-In a lab.

And it's a little boring.

Hey, Louise. Some of us
are going to the taco place

to get pizzas. You want to come?

Uh, n-no, thanks.

Okay! Bye or whatever.

Scientists are baffled
as to why,

for the past month,
no new calves have been born.

Wait, I just work
and eat and sleep?

I don't have any friends?

I mean, sure. Y-You do.

A few. Um, you know,
people from work.

But, uh, Tina lives out of town
on her small horse farm...

Wait, why is it small?
Go big, baby.

Sorry, Tina. It's-It...

- Okay, so it's sort of
a big horse farm.
- Yes.

And Gene's a traveling musician.

Each night a different city.

Don't know where I am
half the time,

but I'm addicted
to the applause.

And we have a cool tour bus.

With foosball.

Yeah. And next thing you know,

you're in your mid-30s.

Trudy, the last known cow
to be born,

was placed
under government protection

after yet another
kidnapping attempt.

Scientists still haven't solved
the infertility crisis in cows

that some are calling
"Ar-moo-geddon."

Is this like that movie
Children with Men?

Three Men and a Baby?

Children of Men.

Yes. Kind of.

So, same job,
but you got a promotion.

You're manager of...
biology things now.

- That's my girl.
- Whoo-hoo!

It's so sad about cows, right?

I love ice cream.

Me, too. And burgers.

Wait, burgers are cows?

I got to go do lab stuff. Bye.

Pieces of a puzzle
you didn't even know

you were working on
start falling into place.

- You've always been good
at puzzles.
- To me,

the biggest puzzle
is the human heart.

is causing turmoil
all around the world.

And you realize
you need a little help from one

of the only people
you know for sure you can trust.

- What the hell?
- Sorry.

I couldn't find
a small rock to throw.

There's a pile of small rocks
right there.

Oh. Whoops.

Listen, I need to borrow a cow.

- Wait, I thought
I had a horse farm.
- You do. Y-You will.

But you also have a few cows.

To be friends with the horses.

And, you know, for milk.
And cheese.

Before it's gone forever.

Except for goat. And sheep.

And nut cheese.

D-Don't say "nut cheese."

- Nut cheese. Sorry.
- Anyway,

Tina keeps watch
outside the barn door

while you go in
to work with the cow.

Who can't wear a shirt
because it's itchy.

Wait, I thought
you were mad at him.

I was. But then you exploded him
and now I feel better.

Well,
why do they have to keep watch?

- Who were they watching for?
- Oh.

Um, all kinds of people.

Th-The cow thing
started a chain reaction,

and stuff got really weird
really fast.

Lot of people out of work,
worried about the future,

lot of weird political stuff
going on.

Anyone doing underground
cow research was under threat,

and that's exactly what
you were doing.

But you're on it now.

Your passion keeps you
working late into the night.

And, yeah, at one point,
you were worried

you didn't choose
the right career,

that you didn't have
the right job, but then...

you were here.

The right person
in the right place

at the right time.

And then you do it.

You solve it.

Louise, you did it!
This cow is with cow!

But a baby. A baby cow.

Calf. Sorry, sorry, I'm excited!

- Uh-oh. They're here.

We can't let them take her.

They'll just use her as a tool
in their little wars.

So, w-wait,
who are the bad guys?

Uh, well, you know,
it's... complicated.

And I can't remember
the movie very well, but, uh,

you definitely can't trust
anybody except your sister.

What about her cool musician/

foosball enthusiast brother?

Right. Well,
I was just getting to that.

We can go down here.
It's my secret room

where I keep
my porcelain horse figurines.

But there's stairs.

Cows can't go down stairs.

Yes, they can. Our mom
taught us how a long time ago.

- Aw!
-: Quick, everyone,
give me your socks.

They're not gonna stop
coming for us.

We need to get somewhere safe
so this calf can be born

and I can continue my work.

Oh, Zeke captains a booze cruise
that sails out of the wharf.

It's pretty loud
and really overpriced,

but he can help us escape.

How do we get to the boat?

Well, we know
someone with a bus.

The Gene Machine?

Oh, man. Big fan.

We're looking for
a pregnant cow.

You haven't seen one, have you?

No, man!

I'm just here
to have a good time!

Rock on, Gene.

I can't do it any other way!

: Come on, come on.
Move those udders.

No offense, but this cow
is not good at foosball.

and the bad guys
are right behind you.

And you don't know this yet,
but there are

bad guys
right in front of you, too.

The calf's about to be born!

Quick! In here!

Oh, wow.

thanks to you, Louise.

And there's shooting
all around you.

And, uh, explosions.

But when you come out,
with the little baby calf,

everything stops.

And you get to the boat
and you finish your research

and you figure out a way
for all the cows

to start having babies again.

Moo what?

And just to say it, you save
burger restaurants, too.

And, uh, yeah,
after you get all the awards

and the world goes back
to normal,

you and your brother
and your sister decide

to open the restaurant again.
Just for fun.

-'Cause of all that cow stuff?
- And we sell
the most beautiful fedoras.

So, you can write
whatever you want

on your poster board, Louise,

but you don't have to be
so worried.

I mean, you do, a little,
you know,

because life can be tricky.

Yes, and life can be boring sometimes.

And not feel special sometimes.

But it's also fun and exciting
other times.

And I know all three of you
are gonna do great things.

And I can't wait to see
what those things are.

- Ooh, I can't wait.
- Yeah.

And a lot of it
can be a surprise.

I-I didn't know I was gonna have
my own restaurant.

Or three kids.

Or that much body odor.

No, I-I knew I'd have that, Gene.

- It's probably genetic.
-: Oh, no.

Okay, knuckleheads, yeesh.

Go to bed.
I got to finish my homework.

- So, you're good?
- I'm good.

I feel better about stuff.
Thanks, guys.

Aw, you're welcome.

Actually, Mom,

do you want
to get started on this for me

and I'll give it
a quick look-see in the morning?

- Sure. Hand me a marker.
- Lin, no.

- Right, right.
- Fine. Never mind.

- Mom, do your thing.
- On it. Albany.
- Oh, my God.

♪ I kiss my pillow ♪

♪ And I think of you ♪

♪ When the lights go out ♪

- Here's what I do ♪
- What do you do?

♪ I softly touch
my pillow's cheek ♪

♪ We're both too overwhelmed
to speak ♪

♪ And I'm careful
not to use my teeth ♪

♪ When I kiss your cotton lips
so sweet ♪

♪ Will you be this lumpy
when we meet ♪

♪ I sure hope so ♪

♪ At night, I give my pillow
just a little kiss ♪

♪ All your corners
are so square and crisp ♪

♪ I never thought I'd end up ♪

♪ With a bed like this. ♪

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