All language subtitles for Bobs Burgers S11E01 Dream a Little Bob of Bob 1080p DSNP WEB-DL DDP5 1 H 264-FLUX (1)_track3_[eng]

Thank you, Linda.
Another perfect pour.

Ugh. The phone people
keep charging us for a hot spot,

whatever that is.
I'm gonna call them.

Definitely. Later.
Not-not today.

-May-Maybe next month.
-There you go.

20% off an oil change.

We're probably
supposed to be getting those.

When was the last time you got one?

Last year?
Or, um, maybe the year before?

I mean, definitely since Louise was born.

You really got to stay on those, Bob.

Yeah, I know, Teddy.

Really helps with the lifespan of the car.

Okay, thanks. Yes, I got it.

I do 'em myself.
Just takes, like, an hour or two.

Three, three and a half if you're buzzed.

-You should do it yourself.
-I'm just not good

at that "being responsible" stuff.

You're good at some of that stuff.

Didn't you reset our clock the other day?

-After the power went out?
-That was you.

Oh, right. You just wanted
to not use that clock anymore.

Well, concrete's probably dry
at Mr. Fischoeder's.

I'm putting a basketball hoop
in his bathroom

and a toilet on his basketball court.

That guy's life, huh?

-See you later.
-Okay, bye.

-Hey, guys.
-GENE: Hello.

-Hey, Teddy.
-Theodore.

Hey, kids. How was school?

Don't worry about it.

It was about four hours too long
and a little talky.

Hey, remember how I wanted to volunteer

at the animal hospital
and read to animals?

I don't think that's what volunteers do.

Animals don't have thumbs, Louise.

(chuckles):
They, uh, can't turn the pages.

Anyway, so, you know how I need

my birth certificate for the application?

Well, it's due tomorrow.
Do you guys know where that is?

I do. Uh, I know
where your birth certificate is,

because I very responsibly
put it in a very safe place.

-Okay.
-In a safe.

-A little fire safe.
-Cool.

There's lots of other
important documents in there

that I'm responsibly keeping safe.

Does toilet paper
count as important papers?

If so, we're rich.

Oh, God.
I forgot to buy toilet paper.

At least there's one thing
I put in the right place.

Oh, come on. Where's the key?

Where's the key?
The freakin' key!

Man, how are you guys even doing that?

Oh, I love it!

But that's not how we used to do it.

Gene, do it with me.
I'll show you how.

-(gurgles)
-I don't understand how you can do

the clapping and the talking
at the same time.

-We can teach you, Tina.
-You can?

Sure!
My cousin Valerie could do it,

and she only had one arm.
She still does.

-Bob's Burgers.
-Lin, it's me.

-I-I need your help.
-Where are you?

(sighs)
Under the bed.

Do you know where the key to the safe is?

No, I have no idea.
How's it look under the bed?

-Gross.
-I bet.

Will you ask the kids if they've seen it?

Kids, have you seen the key to the safe?

TINA:
No. Did you ask Dad?
He seemed to be on top of it.

-I'm on the phone with him.
-Tell him I say hi.

-Tina says hi.
-Hi, Tina.

-Dad says hi back.
-Aw.

Ask Dad if he thinks I'm ready

to start sharing underwear with him.

-Oof!
-LOUISE: Dad, you got this.

Bob, I think Louise is coming upstairs

to jump on the bed and squish you.

Yeah, she did it.
It's really fun. And helpful.

-Uh, I'm gonna hang up, Lin.
-Okay.

Let's hang up at the same time.
Oh, you hung up.

So, just looking everywhere, huh?

Uh-huh.
I know I bought the safe,

and the key came with the safe.

And I put the important stuff in the safe.

Closed the safe.
Took the key. And then I...

-Threw it?
-No.

Oh!
And then I wanted to put the key

on my keychain to be responsible,

but I realized I left my keys in the car.

That way your car's just ready to go.

So, I went out to the car
to look for my keys,

and then, uh, Hugo walked by.

So I ducked down
so I wouldn't have to talk to him.

-So brave.
-But then he saw me,

so I, uh, I pretended
to be on a phone call.

Hands-free, even though
our car doesn't have that.

So, should we maybe look in the car?

No, I get carsick.

-But it wouldn't be mov...
-Bye-bye.

It's got to be in here.

Oh, God.

Right.
That doesn't open anymore.

(grunts)
It's so hard to bend.

What a mess. I'm a monster.

Oh, there you are,

screwdriver that I've rebought
a bunch of times

'cause I didn't know where you were.

Jury duty summons. Perfect.

I wish I knew you were there
since I'm a fugitive now,

I guess.
Yep, there are the ants.

You guys are still here.
H-How can I live like this?

Ow! My back! Seizing up!

Aah! Ow!
(grunting)

-Hi. How are you?
-I'm fine. You okay?

(exhales)
Yeah, yeah. Couldn't be happier.

-All right.
-(whimpers)

Okay, if I... If I lay like this...

This feels better.

This is gonna fix itself, and then I...

and then I'll look for the keys some more.

Oh, lying down reminds me that I'm tired.

I'm always tired.

Just gonna close my eyes for a minute.

But I'm not gonna fall asleep.

Oh, God. I fell asleep.
What time is it?

Where am I? Am I dreaming?

Am I tiny?
I think I might be tiny.

Pens. Maps.

Am I in my glove compartment?

Wow, that insurance is very expired.

Okay, either I'm actually tiny
and I'm in my glove compartment

and I should maybe be a superhero,

or I'm dreaming,
because I'm a sleepy, middle-aged man,

and I fall asleep a lot.

VOICE:
If you're dreaming,

-then am I dreaming?
-Who said that?

Me! Rubber Band Squeezy Ball.

What's it been?
Like, seven years?

Pr-Probably, yeah. I'm sorry

about the glove compartment
not opening, Squeezy Ball.

Yeah, it's like a tomb in here.

Man, we used to have some good times, huh?

You would find a rubber band
every once in a while

and then add it on to me.

(chuckles)
Yeah.

And you'd squeeze me
while you were driving.

That was, um, that was our thing.

And you'd come up with ideas, right?

Ideas for burgers and stuff.

I-I-I... I guess I would.

Ah, man, your restaurant
must be so successful by now.

What? Oh. No.
I mean, we're open.

Hey, um, have you seen a little key?

It's really small.
It's, like, uh...

Oh. I mean, it was small.
It-It's about this big?

-It's for our safe.
-You got a safe?

Look at you!
For all your restaurant money?

No, it's for, um, uh, important papers.

Wow. I know someone
that has important papers!

(chuckles)
I've missed you, Squeezy.

(exhales)
I don't know about your key,

but you know who might be able to help?
Tape!

-Tape?
-Yeah. Your old self-help tape,

Strategies for Living:
How to Become a Strategenius.

Oh, right.
I started listening to that

for a little bit a long time ago.

Not as much as I should have.

But I think I saw it under the front seat

before I fell asleep.
How do we get out of here?

What if we squeeze out?

Get it? Squeeze?
(chuckles)

(chuckles)
Yeah. Yeah, I-I get it.

Am I still your best friend, Bob?

I guess, yes.

All done with Fischoeder's
basketball court toilet.

Wait, did I hook it up to the sewer line?

-Eh, let's say I did.
-Hoops and poops.

Okay, again.
♪ Bus too slow, I wanna take a boat. ♪

No, you're-you're supposed
to hit your butt on that.

-I am?
-Yeah. Not the elbow, the butt.

Hey, I know that game.
But I learned it

a different way.
D-Do it with me.

-♪ And a one. ♪
-Teddy, Teddy, we get it. We get it.

Yeah, you don't know where this is going.

So everyone can do this except me?

-Is that what's going on?
-Aw, who wants a hug?

That's not a pity hug?

Ha! We're out.

Whoa.

Uh, this feels dangerous.

It does, doesn't it?
So, you're dreaming,

but if you find the key in your dream,

you'll find it in real life?

I-I don't know. Maybe.

And if you die in here,
you'll die in real life?

I mean, I hope not.
What's all this?

-Vent ducts. Electrical chassis.
-That's great detail.

It's probably not correct
since I'm dreaming this

and I don't know anything about cars.

ENGINE:
No crap you don't!

-(whispers): Who's that?
-That's the engine.

He sounds mad.

ENGINE:
Hey, true or false?

Cars need their oil changed.

-True.
-ENGINE: Don't tell him!

No, I know. Uh, I'm so sorry,

engine.
Uh, I-I should be a lot better about that.

ENGINE:
Every 3,000 miles, dipstick!

DIPSTICK:
Hey, don't drag me into this.

BRAKE PADS:
You got to change
your brake pads, too, man.

Are you not hearing me squeak?

I-I know, everyone.

I-I'm not good at maintaining things

or, or knowing how to do

the things I should know how to do.

Uh, but I'm trying.

I-I put the kids'
birth certificates in a safe.

-DIPSTICK: Ooh-la-la.
-BRAKE PADS:
Ooh, big man with the safe, huh?

Okay, we got to go.
We-we have a thing.

Bye. Come on.

-(muttering)
-Disgusting!

Okay, we'll take this nice and slow.

You can do this, Tina.

Tell your hands if they get this right,

you're taking 'em out for ice cream.

-It's weird that she can't do it, right?
-Yeah, I know.

-What'd you say?
-Everyone knows. Uh, nothing.

Focus on me.
All right, just the hand movements, okay?

Here we go.
Front of hands, back of hands...

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Whoa. Too fast.

Front of hands...

Are you driving to the hospital, Louise?
Stop speeding.

Front of hands...

-Slower.
-Back...

of... hands.

Easy.

Now you clap...

Half that speed.

And cross...

-Slower.
-...your...

Dear Lord.

Cross your...
Tina, cross your...

This is ruining my memory of childhood.

You're making Mommy sad, Tina.

-Ow! (groans)
-Whee! (laughs)

-Oh, my back.
-Your back hurts in your dream?

I mean, once you have back problems,

you kinda always have back problems.

SQUEEZY BALL:
I love the fact that you're a millionaire

but your car looks like crap.

You know, you can
tell a lot about a person

by how they keep their car.

Hi, I'm Tape.

Strategies for Living:
How to Become a Strategenius.

Oh, hey.
We were looking for you.

-I'm a big fan.
-I'm-I'm Bob.

Uh, I don't know if you remember me.

I-I didn't listen to much of you.

Why would I remember
the guy who bought me,

listened to three minutes of me,
and then left me

on the dirtiest floor in the world?

I haven't been thinking about you at all.

-Oh, I'm sor...
-And that's an example

of passive-aggressive behavior,
which is not helpful.

We cover that in chapter nine,
which I guess you'll never hear.

That's not passive-aggressive,
what I just said.

I really think you'll never hear it.

Bob's a millionaire.

Uh, I-I... No, I'm...
(chuckles)

I'm not.
Uh, hey, I-I need your help.

Yes. Yes, you do.

Right.
In general but also with finding a key.

A silver key.

Bob, I don't know where the key is.

But to be effective in this situation,

you'll need to energize, synthesize,

then synergize.

Um, I know what one of those is.

But what-what do I do?

Divide the car into quadrants,

so you have attainable goals.

I'm still not following.

You got to look under the seat.

That's what I was doing
when I hurt my back.

-Of course you did.
-Yeah, I'm, uh...

I'm-I'm not in good shape.

Wow, really?
That's crazy.

You were in such good shape
when you bought me.

Oh, by the way, there's a bunch
of ants coming towards us.

BOB:
Oh, God. Ants!

I'm small, so they're... huge.

TAPE:
And organized. And strong.

-Plus, these guys are hungry.
-How can you tell?

TAPE:
Don't you think they have
"let's eat those guys" face?

They do.
They totally do.

So, Bob, priority level one to five,

-where does staying alive rate?
-Oh, uh, five.

-One is the most.
-Oh, sorry. Then one.

Uh, uh, staying alive
is very important to me right now.

All right, I was worried
when you said five, to be honest.

-Me, too.
-Well, I got confused by your system,

because it's the oppo... I...
Whatever.

-Wh-What should we do here?
-Now that I know our goal
is to stay alive,

let's assess our options
and make an action plan.

I love that.
Action plan sounds great right now.

Want to squeeze me for ideas, Bob?

Uh, Squeezy, I feel like
Tape's got a good handle on things.

-Right, Tape?
-Life doesn't give you handles, Bob.

You have to install them yourself.

See that pencil?
Grab it.

Okay. Um...

(grunting)
I-I got it.

Bob, stick it through my right eye

and then hold on for dear life.

Your eye?
Won't that hurt?

(sarcastically):
No, it'll feel good.

Just do it! Now!

-BOB: Uh...
-Does "now"

not mean the same thing to you or...?

Okay, okay!

(grunts)
Sorry.

Being organized means
never having to say you're sorry.

Hyah!

Whoa...!

Hang on!
If you have enough upper body strength!

Which it doesn't look like you do!

Hyah!

Bob, you need to lick this cough drop.

-What?
-You're the only one here with saliva.

You need to lick the old cough
drop to reactivate the flavors.

-Seriously?
-Yes!

Lick now! All over!

The tape is very wise, Bob!

Lick the cough drop!

Oh, God, the ants are climbing up.

It's so dusty.

Get it all...
All over!

Get the whole thing moist!

Thath's all I have!
Thorry!

Ugh. Fine.

Suck on this, ants.

BOB:
Ha!

It's working!
The ants are going away!

Whoo-hoo!

Hey, uh, did anyone get that on...

tape?

♪ Bus too slow ♪
Again.

-Again.
-(door opens, bell jingles)

Hello, burger people.

It's half past rent o'clock...
Oh.

Are you doing the handsy damsel?

Mr. Fischoeder, you know it, too?

Sure!
It's been about 60 years.

-Let me see if I remember.
-It's not gonna be easy.

-♪ Theodore Roosevelt
made himself a turkey melt ♪
-Seriously?

That's the best version.
That's coming to school.

Everyone's gonna be doing this tomorrow.

(quietly):
Not everyone.

SQUEEZY BALL:
Whew! That was a close one.

-BOB: Yeah. Nice job, Tape.
-TAPE: Very nice job.

Oh, hey, cool jury duty summons
you never responded to.

Yep. That's not just
"not sticking to my plans."

That's losing the mail.

And-and what are all these
little notes, Bob?

They look like
a bunch of lost to-do lists.

Is the first item
on every list "lose list"?

Yes, I know, I know.

There-There's too many things to do.

As a person.
How does anyone do anything?

And-and bathe?

Hey, you're bathing?
I couldn't tell.

-Good for you, Bob.
-(sighs)

Someone else could've bought me.

I could be in someone's
DeLorean right now.

Okay. All right. Tina,
take my spot when you're ready, okay?

-Just jump right in. Here we go.
-Okay.

Uh...

Now switch up partners

-and triple time.
-Aah!

I hope we find the key soon.

It feels like we've walked
a really long way,

and my tiny feet really hurt.

You know, physical health is a gift

you give yourself every day.

Or, in your case, maybe,
like, twice in your 20s?

Uh, that's pretty generous, actually.

I-I-I don't take care of myself.

But I-I was thinking about
doing it sometime.

Yeah, you're gonna be really buff someday.

I can't wait to see that.

-(zapping)
-Anyone else notice the air

getting a little electricity-y?

Whoa.

-Okay, that seems bad.
-What is it?

It's like all the stuff
I should be better about,

that I left on the floor of my car,

formed a monster?

And it seems to be very electrical.

I guess that's how my brain
thinks car... power works?

I-I really don't know
what I'm talking about.

Maybe it's my shame?

Shame-tricity.

SQUEEZY BALL:
Your shame is so strong.

Yeah.
It's very strong right now.

-(growling)
-Wait. Look.

It's the key to the safe!

Oh, great!
Not it to get it.

So, um, Tape,
can you do some cool tape stuff to it?

Snag the key?
Then lift us out of here?

Stand back, guys. This is where
preparation meets opportunity.

And I am prepared to nail this.

Here we go!
(grunts)

Yeah, you're on your own, Bob.

-(growling)
-Tape, you can do it.

We need you, man.
(sighs)

I-I can't pump up a self-help tape.

That's-that's your job.
Self-help yourself.

(strained): Yeah, I'm just gonna...
I'm gonna take five.

Bob, I feel like maybe you're the only one

that can defeat the shame-tricity monster.

Again, not it.

I don't know how to do that.

-Squeeze me.
-Not right now.

Squeeze me.

Ugh, fine.
(grunts)

Oh, my God.
That's it!

The key is the key!
The key is the key to my shame!

What if I could grab it?
Maybe it would kill the monster.

I like it. I like it.
You're welcome.

And I could use rubber bands
to climb up, so I can reach it.

Where are you gonna get rubber bands?

Oh, boy.

♪ Get a clarinet. ♪
I can't do it!

-I give up!
-No, keep going!

You got to not think about it.

Free your mind,
and your hands will follow.

Or your butt. I don't know how that goes.

-But keep going.
-(grumbles)

No, clear your head.
♪ Clarinet's too reedy... ♪

-Uh...
-Don't think about it. Keep going.

-♪ These are the words she likes to say ♪
-She's doing it.

-Look at her go.
-♪ Crotch, dingle ♪

Hell yeah! Hell yeah!

That felt good!
Can I do that again, Mom?

Uh, sure, sweetie!
Go ahead!

Hell yeah! Hell yeah!
(grunts)

Okay, Squeezy Ball, we need to use you.

What's left of you.

But I still look the same, right?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Uh, even younger.

Okay, I'm gonna
throw you up over the top of the seat.

Okay, wait, what are you doing?

Aah!

Come on, dream strength!

Oh, I'm so weak.

I only weigh half a pound.

This might be a bad idea.

-There are no bad ideas!
-No, there are.

Yeah, uh, getting a fire safe
and losing the key.

-Uh, not listening to
a really good book on tape.
-Yeah.

Not cleaning a car ever

now seems like a really bad idea!

Your shame-tricity monster
is getting bigger, Bob!

Are you making it mad or something?

I don't know.
I'm kinda giving myself

the opposite of a pep talk.

Well, it seems like
that's making it stronger.

Right. It's like I'm,
it's like I'm giving it power.

I wonder if I stop beating myself up...

Ha! It got smaller!

Okay. All right.
Uh, um...

I'm not beating myself up.

I, uh... I'm good at some stuff.

Um, foosball, maybe?

No, I'm not good at foosball at all.

Oh, no, it just got bigger.

Restaurant stuff!

You're really good at restaurant stuff!

No, I'm not.

You're a millionaire restauranteur.

Uh, uh-huh. Yeah.

Um, what else?

Uh, you have so many ideas for burgers!

Uh, I mean, I don't know.

And I bet you're a great lover.

Oh, no. No.

You have soft hands?

I do have soft hands.

-Oh! I got bigger.
-TAPE: You bought me!

That shows some good judgment!

Yes! I have some good judgment!

But, seriously, back to the burger thing.

You really do have
so many ideas for burgers!

Okay, you're right!
It's true!

I-I am pretty good at burgers!

Yeah! Yeah, you are!

Wow, it's really small now.

It's almost cute.
Hey, I bet you could just grab the key.

Couldn't have made it small
before it zapped me, huh?

Cool.

All right, I'm going for the key!

If I die, I want you guys
to know that I love you.

-SQUEEZY BALL: I love you, too.
-Feels a little soon.

Oh, my God.

It worked.

The key is in my hand.

The key is in my hand.

There's no key there.
Right.

It didn't feel like it was in there.

Also, that wouldn't make any sense.

But that's... okay.

I lost the key, and that's okay.

Oh!

Mwah.

Mwah.

I'm back. I'm okay.

Were you guys worried?
Did you call the cops?

Yeah...
There you are.

You didn't see all
the helicopters we sent for you?

We had the best guys on the case.

Everyone, I want you to meet,

uh, two very good friends.

This is Squeezy Ball and this is Tape.

Gene, I also found your cough drop.

My lucky cough drop!

You didn't lick it, did you?

Technically, no.

-Well, did you find the key?
-No.

But that's okay.

I-I'm good at some things,

and I'm not good at some things.

And-and that's okay.

Hang on.
Let me get a pencil, Dad.

-This is gold.
-Right.

But the animal hospital
volunteer thing I want to do?

We're-we're gonna go.
We're gonna go register you.

We're gonna take the safe with us.

I'm sure they've dealt

with exactly this kind of thing before.

You know what, though?
I kinda want to do marching band now

because... ♪ Look what
Tina can do with her hands! ♪

Do they do that in marching band?

-They will.
-Do you need a birth certificate?

-Nope.
-I love it.

Hell yeah! Hell yeah!

Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH