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1
00:00:11,154 --> 00:00:13,598
Okay, not a word about anything.
2
00:00:13,623 --> 00:00:15,007
Final decision.
3
00:00:15,032 --> 00:00:17,236
Five minutes ago she was
in the circle of trust.
4
00:00:17,261 --> 00:00:18,141
- _
- What just happened?
5
00:00:18,166 --> 00:00:19,396
Caitlin's gonna have enough
6
00:00:19,421 --> 00:00:21,364
cultural shock coming home
without having to hear that
7
00:00:21,389 --> 00:00:22,824
her mother has a completely new identity.
8
00:00:22,849 --> 00:00:24,552
And definitely don't mention Josh.
9
00:00:24,577 --> 00:00:26,192
I don't even know what's
going on with you two.
10
00:00:26,217 --> 00:00:28,100
Mm, things are weird now
that he knows that I'm 40.
11
00:00:28,125 --> 00:00:29,909
J-Lo's in her 40s, and everybody
12
00:00:29,934 --> 00:00:32,012
in their right mind's trying
to make it work with her.
13
00:00:32,037 --> 00:00:34,545
- 'Cause she's J-Lo.
- You're as hot as J-Lo.
14
00:00:34,569 --> 00:00:36,436
Well, you're as hot as Megan Fox.
15
00:00:36,461 --> 00:00:39,256
Hon, let's never
stop lying to each other, okay.
16
00:00:40,388 --> 00:00:41,578
- Caitlin!
- Hi!
17
00:00:42,736 --> 00:00:43,988
- Hi!
- Hi, Caitlin!
18
00:00:44,013 --> 00:00:45,842
Oh, I've missed you so much.
19
00:00:45,867 --> 00:00:47,495
Ah, hi Mom. Hi Maggie.
20
00:00:47,520 --> 00:00:48,845
- Hi, give me a kiss.
- Wow...
21
00:00:48,870 --> 00:00:50,538
- Muah!
- Someone needs a shower.
22
00:00:50,563 --> 00:00:52,522
- I got it.
- Mom, don't be so Western.
23
00:00:52,547 --> 00:00:54,331
All right. This is how human beings smell.
24
00:00:54,356 --> 00:00:55,836
Oh... okay.
25
00:01:00,055 --> 00:01:01,608
Mom, I know it's only 9:00 a.m.,
26
00:01:01,633 --> 00:01:03,169
but can we order pizza?
27
00:01:03,194 --> 00:01:05,965
Seriously, I've been having
erotic dreams about pizza.
28
00:01:05,990 --> 00:01:07,962
Like, I'm about to kiss a boy
29
00:01:07,987 --> 00:01:10,438
and then his tongue
just turns into a slice.
30
00:01:10,463 --> 00:01:12,469
Well, girl, you're back
in the land of Seamless
31
00:01:12,494 --> 00:01:14,377
where you can order the pizza and the boy.
32
00:01:14,379 --> 00:01:15,495
Yes.
33
00:01:15,497 --> 00:01:17,164
Honey, will you sit down for a second?
34
00:01:17,166 --> 00:01:19,465
I want to share something with you.
35
00:01:19,490 --> 00:01:20,618
Okay.
36
00:01:21,858 --> 00:01:24,041
So while you've been in India,
37
00:01:24,066 --> 00:01:29,122
I've been going through a
bit of an identity issue.
38
00:01:29,147 --> 00:01:31,002
Mm.
39
00:01:31,266 --> 00:01:33,149
Gay or transitioning?
40
00:01:33,174 --> 00:01:35,092
- What?
- Into a man?
41
00:01:35,168 --> 00:01:36,617
No. Why would you go there?
42
00:01:36,642 --> 00:01:39,123
Because you're tall, and Dad
always said you had man hands.
43
00:01:39,148 --> 00:01:41,433
- When did he say that?
- I wouldn't care.
44
00:01:41,458 --> 00:01:43,075
In India, they're known as hijras,
45
00:01:43,100 --> 00:01:44,409
and they're very accepted.
46
00:01:44,434 --> 00:01:46,984
They're even legally
recognized as a third gender
47
00:01:47,009 --> 00:01:48,071
on their passports, so.
48
00:01:48,096 --> 00:01:49,145
Okay, that's good to know,
49
00:01:49,170 --> 00:01:50,586
but that's not my issue.
50
00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:51,931
What is it, then?
51
00:01:51,956 --> 00:01:54,035
The issue is...
52
00:01:54,624 --> 00:01:56,611
No.
53
00:01:57,734 --> 00:01:59,955
- Brooklyn.
- What?
54
00:01:59,980 --> 00:02:02,956
Yes. Yes, that's it. I love it.
55
00:02:02,981 --> 00:02:07,100
I love it, and I just don't
identify with New Jersey
56
00:02:07,102 --> 00:02:09,146
the way that I used to.
57
00:02:09,278 --> 00:02:10,944
Well, Mom, that's really nice,
58
00:02:10,969 --> 00:02:13,086
but right now I need to sleep excessively.
59
00:02:13,111 --> 00:02:14,900
Like, for a week.
60
00:02:14,925 --> 00:02:18,427
All right, can you please
deliver the pizza to my bedroom?
61
00:02:18,452 --> 00:02:20,702
Thank you.
62
00:02:20,929 --> 00:02:22,512
Wow, if she was okay with a sex change,
63
00:02:22,537 --> 00:02:24,031
maybe this won't be such a big deal.
64
00:02:28,014 --> 00:02:32,214
- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -
65
00:02:33,936 --> 00:02:36,887
So I'm about to pitch a
book at morning meeting.
66
00:02:36,912 --> 00:02:38,545
And I need your opinion. Sure.
67
00:02:38,570 --> 00:02:40,270
It's a Tumblr that's being shopped around.
68
00:02:40,295 --> 00:02:41,460
And...
69
00:02:41,485 --> 00:02:44,166
You got to tell me if you think I'm crazy.
70
00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:48,200
What do you think?
71
00:02:48,225 --> 00:02:51,719
Uh... so many things.
72
00:02:52,126 --> 00:02:53,659
Come on.
73
00:02:53,684 --> 00:02:55,052
Wha...
74
00:02:55,077 --> 00:02:56,220
Oh, my God.
75
00:02:56,245 --> 00:02:57,271
_
76
00:02:57,296 --> 00:02:59,680
It's one of the most
popular Tumblrs out there,
77
00:02:59,705 --> 00:03:02,739
written by a woman who's a
freelance writer at "Jezebel."
78
00:03:03,448 --> 00:03:05,679
_
79
00:03:08,633 --> 00:03:10,583
_
80
00:03:10,607 --> 00:03:12,098
_
81
00:03:12,123 --> 00:03:13,477
- Oh...
- Excuse me.
82
00:03:13,502 --> 00:03:15,252
How exactly is this a book?
83
00:03:15,254 --> 00:03:17,637
It's pornographic Internet nonsense.
84
00:03:17,639 --> 00:03:21,591
I mean, I wouldn't exactly
classify oral sex as pornography
85
00:03:21,593 --> 00:03:23,323
unless you're trying to throw us back
86
00:03:23,348 --> 00:03:25,228
to the "Let's ban 'Lolita'" era.
87
00:03:25,230 --> 00:03:27,264
It's a list. It's not literature.
88
00:03:27,266 --> 00:03:29,911
I agree, but it is a fun, silly book
89
00:03:29,936 --> 00:03:31,413
that will sell
90
00:03:31,438 --> 00:03:33,753
to a young audience,
which is what we're after.
91
00:03:33,778 --> 00:03:35,879
Liza? Uh, yes.
92
00:03:35,904 --> 00:03:39,176
I mean, it's like, uh,
"Goodnight Moon" for adults...
93
00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:40,671
- With blowjobs.
- Yes.
94
00:03:40,696 --> 00:03:41,950
Charles?
95
00:03:41,975 --> 00:03:44,011
I'd at least like to see
some more positive thoughts.
96
00:03:44,036 --> 00:03:45,529
Oh, of course. Um...
97
00:03:45,554 --> 00:03:47,364
- _
- Number 69.
98
00:03:48,747 --> 00:03:50,415
Okay, that's a start.
99
00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:55,313
You're not seriously entertaining this?
100
00:03:55,338 --> 00:03:57,453
Well, it is entertaining,
101
00:03:57,478 --> 00:04:00,157
but I'm not sure I can see it in the place
102
00:04:00,182 --> 00:04:02,060
that J.D. Salinger once called home.
103
00:04:02,085 --> 00:04:03,584
Oh, thank God.
104
00:04:03,609 --> 00:04:05,595
Will I see you at the Bobby
Flay meeting this afternoon?
105
00:04:05,620 --> 00:04:06,819
He's shopping his new cookbook.
106
00:04:06,844 --> 00:04:08,128
I think it's important you say hello.
107
00:04:08,153 --> 00:04:09,589
Damn, I forgot to mention Bobby wanted
108
00:04:09,614 --> 00:04:11,186
to move the meeting to his restaurant.
109
00:04:11,212 --> 00:04:14,162
Um, can you make that dinner tonight?
110
00:04:14,187 --> 00:04:18,265
Um... I will have to check my calendar.
111
00:04:18,290 --> 00:04:21,593
Probably have to rearrange
a bunch of things, but...
112
00:04:21,618 --> 00:04:23,520
- Mm-hmm.
- Thank you.
113
00:04:29,786 --> 00:04:32,570
Liza, get in here, and shut the door.
114
00:04:35,057 --> 00:04:36,704
Is something wrong?
115
00:04:36,729 --> 00:04:39,135
Charles just asked me to dinner.
116
00:04:39,389 --> 00:04:40,555
He did?
117
00:04:40,580 --> 00:04:42,112
Yes, at Bobby Flay's restaurant.
118
00:04:42,137 --> 00:04:43,978
We're going to meet him
about his new cookbook.
119
00:04:44,003 --> 00:04:46,434
Oh, so it's a business dinner.
120
00:04:46,459 --> 00:04:49,156
Are you suggesting I
think it's something more?
121
00:04:49,181 --> 00:04:50,680
Of course not.
122
00:04:50,682 --> 00:04:52,933
I need you to download the menu
and wine and cocktail list,
123
00:04:52,935 --> 00:04:55,235
and make sure the barman knows
how to make a dry Negroni.
124
00:04:55,237 --> 00:04:56,467
Absolutely.
125
00:04:56,492 --> 00:04:57,992
And call Davide at
Barney's. He has my sizes.
126
00:04:58,017 --> 00:04:59,833
I need something simple and stunning.
127
00:04:59,858 --> 00:05:01,575
Calling.
128
00:05:01,577 --> 00:05:03,952
I'm gonna show him what a
perfect power couple we can be.
129
00:05:08,740 --> 00:05:10,260
Nice try in there.
130
00:05:10,285 --> 00:05:13,109
I just don't think it's Empirical.
131
00:05:13,134 --> 00:05:16,221
I don't think you realize
how commercial this is.
132
00:05:16,246 --> 00:05:17,946
Swing and a miss.
133
00:05:17,971 --> 00:05:21,453
Just, uh, just keep looking
for the next Bjornberg.
134
00:05:28,776 --> 00:05:32,499
So a Brunello Di Montalcino
is aged at least four years,
135
00:05:32,524 --> 00:05:35,642
where a Rosso Di Montalcino
is much younger and cheaper.
136
00:05:35,644 --> 00:05:37,527
I think I like the Rosso better.
137
00:05:37,529 --> 00:05:38,895
Are you in the wine business?
138
00:05:38,897 --> 00:05:41,565
No, I just drink a lot of it.
139
00:05:41,567 --> 00:05:43,700
Okay, who's over 21 here?
140
00:05:43,702 --> 00:05:45,227
- Hi, Mrs. Miller.
- Hi, Mom.
141
00:05:45,252 --> 00:05:46,112
We're not drinking.
142
00:05:46,137 --> 00:05:47,470
We're just having a wine tasting.
143
00:05:47,495 --> 00:05:49,242
Mm, Caitlin, why didn't you tell me
144
00:05:49,267 --> 00:05:50,707
Padma and Michaela were coming for dinner?
145
00:05:50,732 --> 00:05:52,123
Oh, no, Mom, you don't have to cook.
146
00:05:52,148 --> 00:05:53,938
- We're going out.
- We missed out girl.
147
00:05:53,963 --> 00:05:55,745
We drove in from New
Jersey to surprise her.
148
00:05:55,770 --> 00:05:56,756
Where are you guys gonna go?
149
00:05:56,781 --> 00:05:59,498
Uh, we're meeting some of
Michaela's friends from NYU.
150
00:05:59,523 --> 00:06:01,111
- Are you ready?
- Yeah.
151
00:06:01,136 --> 00:06:02,469
- Yeah. Okay. Love you, Mom.
152
00:06:02,471 --> 00:06:04,087
- Love you too.
- Thanks for the wine tasting.
153
00:06:04,089 --> 00:06:05,245
- We won't be out too late.
- Nice to meet you.
154
00:06:05,270 --> 00:06:06,024
- We love your art.
- Thank you.
155
00:06:06,049 --> 00:06:07,452
- Bye, Maggie.
- Ciao.
156
00:06:07,477 --> 00:06:09,427
- Be safe.
- Ugh, so cute.
157
00:06:09,961 --> 00:06:11,377
Okay, what just happened there?
158
00:06:11,402 --> 00:06:12,993
Uh, that's your daughter having a life.
159
00:06:13,018 --> 00:06:14,547
I suggest you do the same.
160
00:06:14,572 --> 00:06:16,116
- Wh... excuse me?
- Go see Josh.
161
00:06:16,141 --> 00:06:17,594
You got to grab your moments while you can.
162
00:06:17,619 --> 00:06:19,808
Ugh, I think I should give him more time.
163
00:06:19,833 --> 00:06:21,411
Time to do what? Go meet somebody else?
164
00:06:21,436 --> 00:06:23,014
That might be for the best.
165
00:06:23,039 --> 00:06:25,840
I mean, I... I worry
that I really may not be
166
00:06:25,865 --> 00:06:27,364
the person that he fell in love with
167
00:06:27,389 --> 00:06:29,246
Liza, don't reject yourself.
168
00:06:29,271 --> 00:06:30,637
Okay?
169
00:06:34,439 --> 00:06:36,654
- Dude, come on.
- No, dude, just wait...
170
00:06:36,679 --> 00:06:37,774
Ooh.
171
00:06:37,799 --> 00:06:39,317
- Ah!
- All right, stop.
172
00:06:39,343 --> 00:06:40,506
- Stop.
- Nope. Nope.
173
00:06:40,531 --> 00:06:41,731
- Not mid-mission.
- Dude!
174
00:06:43,102 --> 00:06:44,319
Ah, it's Liza.
175
00:06:44,344 --> 00:06:45,198
What?
176
00:06:45,223 --> 00:06:46,837
She wants to do something tonight.
177
00:06:46,862 --> 00:06:49,586
No, no, no, no, no, no,
no. The answer is no.
178
00:06:49,611 --> 00:06:50,852
Dude, what is your problem?
179
00:06:50,877 --> 00:06:53,336
Wha... are you kidding me? She's a nut job.
180
00:06:53,361 --> 00:06:55,518
She should be locked up in
some sort of cougar prison.
181
00:06:55,543 --> 00:06:57,209
Dude, that is...
182
00:06:57,234 --> 00:06:59,038
- That's not true.
- Come on, man.
183
00:06:59,063 --> 00:07:01,928
She stepped on your heart.
She destroyed your soul.
184
00:07:01,953 --> 00:07:03,252
She's a sexual grifter.
185
00:07:03,254 --> 00:07:05,680
Will you just give me my phone back?
186
00:07:06,696 --> 00:07:08,475
Fine...
187
00:07:08,696 --> 00:07:11,371
but don't expect me to be
around to pick up the pieces.
188
00:07:11,396 --> 00:07:13,748
Can I eat the dumplings?
189
00:07:13,748 --> 00:07:15,224
_
190
00:07:15,249 --> 00:07:16,582
Okay, I'm getting the three dots.
191
00:07:16,607 --> 00:07:18,406
Will someone please explain the dots to me?
192
00:07:18,431 --> 00:07:21,836
I think the dots are when
someone's typing or thinking.
193
00:07:21,861 --> 00:07:24,683
Okay, now the dots went
away. There's nothing.
194
00:07:24,708 --> 00:07:26,367
Oh, the dots can be very fickle.
195
00:07:26,392 --> 00:07:29,026
They're back.
196
00:07:29,051 --> 00:07:31,831
Yes! East River Bar at 9:00.
197
00:07:31,856 --> 00:07:33,856
Oh, I don't know. What
if Caitlin comes home?
198
00:07:33,881 --> 00:07:35,584
Hm, don't worry. I'll keep her distracted.
199
00:07:35,609 --> 00:07:37,296
Nobody cock blocks mama.
200
00:07:57,037 --> 00:07:59,671
Hey, what's going on?
201
00:07:59,696 --> 00:08:02,604
Oh, um, I'm just waiting for my boyfriend.
202
00:08:02,629 --> 00:08:03,923
No worries.
203
00:08:03,949 --> 00:08:05,636
Mind if I wait with you?
204
00:08:05,660 --> 00:08:07,716
Uh, sure,
205
00:08:07,741 --> 00:08:09,774
but you might just have to
get up when he gets here.
206
00:08:09,799 --> 00:08:12,013
He's not gonna, like, beat me up
207
00:08:12,038 --> 00:08:13,693
if he sees me talking to you, right?
208
00:08:13,718 --> 00:08:16,388
I don't think so, but...
209
00:08:18,966 --> 00:08:20,386
You looked lonely.
210
00:08:22,396 --> 00:08:23,991
Why are you so shy?
211
00:08:24,016 --> 00:08:26,716
- I'm not shy.
- Yeah, you are.
212
00:08:26,741 --> 00:08:29,711
Sitting here by yourself
like a little introvert.
213
00:08:29,736 --> 00:08:32,312
I bet people think that you're snobby,
214
00:08:32,337 --> 00:08:33,956
but you're really just quiet, right?
215
00:08:33,981 --> 00:08:36,596
- Mm, you nailed me.
- Yeah.
216
00:08:36,621 --> 00:08:38,671
I like quiet girls.
217
00:08:38,696 --> 00:08:41,326
You know, quiet's the new sexy. Mm.
218
00:08:41,351 --> 00:08:43,049
So why don't you come
out of that hard shell
219
00:08:43,074 --> 00:08:45,068
and tell me what else I
should know about you?
220
00:08:45,093 --> 00:08:49,108
My daughter just came home from
college, and I'm in my 40s.
221
00:08:50,113 --> 00:08:52,113
I saw my friends, so...
222
00:08:52,138 --> 00:08:53,372
I got to go,
223
00:08:53,397 --> 00:08:54,930
but take it easy.
224
00:09:09,927 --> 00:09:12,452
How is your Habanero-glazed yellowtail?
225
00:09:12,477 --> 00:09:13,707
Delicious, I think this is the first time
226
00:09:13,732 --> 00:09:15,928
that a client's ever wined and dined me.
227
00:09:15,953 --> 00:09:18,266
- We need to sign more chefs.
- Yeah, we do.
228
00:09:18,291 --> 00:09:20,674
I, actually, don't know if
you're aware of the statistics,
229
00:09:20,699 --> 00:09:22,987
but the sale of physical cookbooks...
230
00:09:23,012 --> 00:09:24,518
- Stronger than ever.
- Of course.
231
00:09:24,543 --> 00:09:26,729
Yeah, it's a real bright spot out there.
232
00:09:26,755 --> 00:09:29,269
That's why it's worth
the effort to sign Flay.
233
00:09:29,294 --> 00:09:31,261
I think he's gonna find
the combination of us
234
00:09:31,286 --> 00:09:33,043
as a team hard to resist.
235
00:09:33,068 --> 00:09:35,188
Yeah. That and the money.
236
00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:41,668
Do you ever cook for yourself, Charles?
237
00:09:41,693 --> 00:09:43,483
Uh, no, not in the city,
238
00:09:43,508 --> 00:09:45,700
but I love to barbecue
239
00:09:45,725 --> 00:09:48,420
at the house in Pound Ridge.
240
00:09:48,676 --> 00:09:50,814
- How about you?
- Oh, sure, yeah.
241
00:09:50,839 --> 00:09:52,622
I like to bake, grill,
242
00:09:52,647 --> 00:09:54,621
spit roast.
243
00:09:54,646 --> 00:09:57,906
Show me a nice piece of meat,
I can't keep my hands off it.
244
00:10:00,263 --> 00:10:02,437
You should invite me up
to Pound Ridge sometime.
245
00:10:02,462 --> 00:10:04,516
I'll show you what I mean.
246
00:10:04,541 --> 00:10:06,492
- Uh...
- Peppercorn shrimp.
247
00:10:06,517 --> 00:10:08,509
- Oh, that looks wonderful.
- Delicious.
248
00:10:08,535 --> 00:10:10,973
Mm... oh.
249
00:10:11,064 --> 00:10:12,828
Um, Charles, I just want to say,
250
00:10:12,853 --> 00:10:14,380
regardless of what happens with Bobby,
251
00:10:14,405 --> 00:10:17,520
it has been so nice spending
quality time with you.
252
00:10:19,950 --> 00:10:22,567
Diana, I think you have
a... One of your, um...
253
00:10:22,592 --> 00:10:24,085
You have a little bit of, um...
254
00:10:24,110 --> 00:10:25,920
- Hey, guys.
- Oh.
255
00:10:25,945 --> 00:10:28,056
Sorry I kept you waiting. How's dinner?
256
00:10:28,081 --> 00:10:31,497
Oh, simply sensational. You are a genius.
257
00:10:31,522 --> 00:10:33,674
I was just telling Diana
258
00:10:33,699 --> 00:10:35,446
what an enormous fan I am of yours, Bobby.
259
00:10:35,471 --> 00:10:38,222
"Boy Meets Grill" is my Bible.
260
00:10:38,247 --> 00:10:39,613
Oh. Oh, my God.
261
00:10:39,638 --> 00:10:41,582
Yeah, you chipped your tooth. Didn't you?
262
00:10:41,607 --> 00:10:44,022
Yeah, on a peppercorn?
263
00:10:44,047 --> 00:10:45,519
My peppercorn shrimp?
264
00:10:45,544 --> 00:10:47,230
You know, I have weak teeth.
265
00:10:47,255 --> 00:10:48,851
It's, um, my family's from England,
266
00:10:48,876 --> 00:10:50,191
on my mother's side.
267
00:10:50,216 --> 00:10:51,330
Yeah, I... you know what.
268
00:10:51,355 --> 00:10:53,272
Actually, I know a dentist.
She works in midtown.
269
00:10:53,297 --> 00:10:55,013
She works nights. I'm gonna
go call her right now.
270
00:10:55,038 --> 00:10:57,398
- Bobby, you... Bobby.
- That's not necessary.
271
00:11:01,235 --> 00:11:02,740
I'm...
272
00:11:02,765 --> 00:11:05,272
so sorry.
273
00:11:05,810 --> 00:11:07,786
Uh, excuse me. I'm sorry.
274
00:11:07,811 --> 00:11:10,344
I'm saving this seat. Can
my ass save it for you?
275
00:11:10,369 --> 00:11:11,835
Uh...
276
00:11:11,860 --> 00:11:13,944
actually, uh, my
boyfriend, he's on his way.
277
00:11:13,969 --> 00:11:16,112
- He'll be here any minute.
- Don't be such a bitch.
278
00:11:16,137 --> 00:11:18,024
I'm not being a bitch.
279
00:11:44,792 --> 00:11:47,498
Charles, it's very nice
of you to come with me.
280
00:11:47,523 --> 00:11:49,852
It's really not necessary.
281
00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:51,011
It's not a problem.
282
00:11:51,036 --> 00:11:52,975
I just want to make sure
that someone's here.
283
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:54,642
Such a gentleman.
284
00:11:54,667 --> 00:11:57,034
I feel like a toothless Cinderella.
285
00:12:00,518 --> 00:12:02,118
Hello.
286
00:12:02,143 --> 00:12:05,983
Dr., uh, Sarkisian?
287
00:12:06,008 --> 00:12:09,782
Yes. Please, come in.
288
00:12:09,807 --> 00:12:14,282
I'm... it's fine. I
really have no gag reflex.
289
00:12:14,307 --> 00:12:16,860
Okay. Open. What did you try to do?
290
00:12:16,885 --> 00:12:18,130
Crack a walnut?
291
00:12:18,155 --> 00:12:19,864
Your wife did some damage here.
292
00:12:19,889 --> 00:12:21,221
Uh, no, no, no, no.
293
00:12:21,246 --> 00:12:22,662
Um, not my wife,
294
00:12:22,687 --> 00:12:24,302
a business associate.
295
00:12:24,327 --> 00:12:26,320
We were having a business dinner.
296
00:12:26,345 --> 00:12:28,777
Oh, I was wondering where that ring was.
297
00:12:28,802 --> 00:12:31,977
- Nope, single.
- Same here.
298
00:12:32,002 --> 00:12:35,003
It's not easy to date
when you work late nights.
299
00:12:35,005 --> 00:12:38,006
Well, I'm sure there are
lots of men who wouldn't mind
300
00:12:38,008 --> 00:12:39,345
waiting up for you, Dr. Sarkisian.
301
00:12:39,370 --> 00:12:41,336
Unless they happen to wander
302
00:12:41,361 --> 00:12:44,224
into my office with a dental emergency,
303
00:12:44,249 --> 00:12:45,743
I'm not meeting them,
304
00:12:45,768 --> 00:12:48,390
and it's Lisa.
305
00:12:48,415 --> 00:12:50,006
- Charles.
- Yeah, it's re...
306
00:12:50,031 --> 00:12:51,433
Please. Keep still.
307
00:12:59,629 --> 00:13:01,053
I just can't believe it.
308
00:13:01,078 --> 00:13:03,111
I knew he couldn't handle my age,
309
00:13:03,136 --> 00:13:05,136
but what kind of a person stands someone up
310
00:13:05,161 --> 00:13:07,988
and breaks up with them with a text?
311
00:13:08,013 --> 00:13:09,784
How about telling me you can't make it work
312
00:13:09,809 --> 00:13:11,275
before I get a beer spilled all over me
313
00:13:11,300 --> 00:13:12,797
by a bunch of drunk mean girls?
314
00:13:12,822 --> 00:13:14,102
Look, he's in his 20s.
315
00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:15,426
He's not so mature,
316
00:13:15,428 --> 00:13:17,612
and he can't process all of his emotions.
317
00:13:17,637 --> 00:13:20,509
You knew that was the risk
in telling him the truth.
318
00:13:20,534 --> 00:13:23,084
Yeah, but I had to tell him.
319
00:13:23,401 --> 00:13:26,204
And you know what, maybe
I deserved that tonight.
320
00:13:26,898 --> 00:13:27,883
Besides, it's one less thing
321
00:13:27,908 --> 00:13:29,483
I have to explain to
Caitlin... who, by the way,
322
00:13:29,507 --> 00:13:31,321
I should never have let
go out tonight by herself.
323
00:13:31,346 --> 00:13:33,549
Uh, she just spent the
past six months in India.
324
00:13:33,574 --> 00:13:36,250
I'm pretty sure she can manage Brooklyn.
325
00:13:36,275 --> 00:13:37,959
Yeah, I'm gonna wait up for her.
326
00:13:37,984 --> 00:13:39,761
Muah.
327
00:13:39,786 --> 00:13:41,491
I'm sorry, it'll all feel
better in the morning.
328
00:13:41,516 --> 00:13:43,536
Mm, it's fine.
329
00:13:43,560 --> 00:13:46,814
It's time to move on.
330
00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:48,103
Night.
331
00:13:48,128 --> 00:13:51,091
- _
332
00:13:51,894 --> 00:13:53,144
Ugh.
333
00:14:49,793 --> 00:14:51,572
How was dinner last night?
334
00:14:51,597 --> 00:14:53,463
About as enjoyable as a root canal.
335
00:14:53,489 --> 00:14:55,556
Oh, I'm sorry. How was the food?
336
00:14:55,581 --> 00:14:56,701
Stop grilling me, Liza!
337
00:15:01,833 --> 00:15:04,584
Hello, Diana Trout's office.
338
00:15:05,656 --> 00:15:08,182
It's a Dr. Sarkisian for you?
339
00:15:14,142 --> 00:15:17,178
- Hello?
- Diana, it's Dr. Sarkisian.
340
00:15:17,203 --> 00:15:20,101
I'm just checking in on you.
How is that temp holding up?
341
00:15:20,126 --> 00:15:21,701
It seems fine so far.
342
00:15:21,727 --> 00:15:24,150
- Thank you for your call.
- Of course.
343
00:15:24,175 --> 00:15:25,704
My patients are like family to me.
344
00:15:25,729 --> 00:15:28,637
Just remember to eat soft
foods for the next few days.
345
00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:29,836
I won't forget.
346
00:15:29,862 --> 00:15:31,606
Now, if you'll excuse me, I...
347
00:15:31,631 --> 00:15:33,468
Can I ask you a favor?
348
00:15:34,879 --> 00:15:36,156
Of course.
349
00:15:36,181 --> 00:15:39,037
Would you mind transferring me to Charles?
350
00:15:41,335 --> 00:15:42,825
Liza, transfer this call
351
00:15:42,850 --> 00:15:45,386
to Time Warner Cable customer service.
352
00:15:45,411 --> 00:15:47,834
- Charles.
- We got the book.
353
00:15:47,859 --> 00:15:48,417
What?
354
00:15:48,442 --> 00:15:50,088
I think that Bobby
355
00:15:50,113 --> 00:15:52,833
felt so bad about everything
he's signing with us.
356
00:15:56,013 --> 00:15:57,656
What a night.
357
00:15:57,681 --> 00:15:59,707
Good job, tooth.
358
00:16:00,935 --> 00:16:02,990
Good job... tooth.
359
00:16:03,015 --> 00:16:04,576
Damn it.
360
00:16:07,281 --> 00:16:09,303
Is everything okay?
361
00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:13,081
"100 Things Women Think
About While Giving Blowjobs"
362
00:16:13,106 --> 00:16:14,168
just sold to Little Brown.
363
00:16:14,193 --> 00:16:15,359
You've got good instincts.
364
00:16:15,384 --> 00:16:18,301
Yeah, but I hate to lose.
365
00:16:18,326 --> 00:16:19,826
I know the feeling.
366
00:16:19,851 --> 00:16:21,684
I think I lost last night.
367
00:16:21,709 --> 00:16:23,200
What? Josh?
368
00:16:23,225 --> 00:16:25,639
- Mm.
- Off again?
369
00:16:25,665 --> 00:16:26,648
Stood me up at a bar
370
00:16:26,673 --> 00:16:28,872
and broke up with me with a text.
371
00:16:28,897 --> 00:16:30,744
That's really lame.
372
00:16:30,769 --> 00:16:31,985
It's okay.
373
00:16:32,010 --> 00:16:33,848
On again, off again.
374
00:16:33,872 --> 00:16:35,785
Classic.
375
00:16:35,810 --> 00:16:38,208
It's all gonna get better in our 30s.
376
00:16:39,586 --> 00:16:40,983
Yeah...
377
00:16:41,009 --> 00:16:43,833
- _
378
00:16:52,757 --> 00:16:55,908
So the green one, I think,
would be perfect on my mom.
379
00:16:55,933 --> 00:16:57,576
- Right?
- Oh, she's gonna love that.
380
00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:58,948
- Hey.
- Mom!
381
00:16:58,973 --> 00:17:00,036
Sorry I missed you last night.
382
00:17:00,061 --> 00:17:01,483
You were asleep when I got home.
383
00:17:01,508 --> 00:17:03,330
Yeah, you guys definitely got back late.
384
00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:05,838
- Did you have fun?
- Oh, the best time.
385
00:17:07,506 --> 00:17:08,827
What is it you wanted to show me?
386
00:17:08,852 --> 00:17:10,602
Oh, okay.
387
00:17:10,627 --> 00:17:11,701
Are you ready?
388
00:17:11,725 --> 00:17:12,960
Yes.
389
00:17:16,907 --> 00:17:19,370
It's "namaste" in Sanskrit,
390
00:17:19,395 --> 00:17:21,154
to commemorate my time in India.
391
00:17:21,179 --> 00:17:22,679
Isn't it gorgeous?
392
00:17:22,704 --> 00:17:24,553
What do you think?
393
00:17:24,577 --> 00:17:27,456
- Where did you get that?
- Ugh, from the hottest guy.
394
00:17:27,481 --> 00:17:30,169
He owns this place called, um... Inkburg.
395
00:17:30,194 --> 00:17:32,093
Just a couple blocks from here.
396
00:17:32,117 --> 00:17:34,901
- Did you see this?
- Oh, yeah.
397
00:17:34,926 --> 00:17:36,731
Mm. Are you mad?
398
00:17:36,757 --> 00:17:38,056
Please don't be mad.
399
00:17:38,081 --> 00:17:39,698
Uh, not at you.
400
00:17:39,722 --> 00:17:41,329
Excuse me.
401
00:17:41,354 --> 00:17:43,593
Mom, where are you going?
402
00:17:43,617 --> 00:17:46,944
Mom, you can't just go
yell at the tattoo guy.
403
00:18:02,920 --> 00:18:04,786
Hey, you. You okay?
404
00:18:04,811 --> 00:18:06,394
- No, I am not okay.
- Whoa...
405
00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:08,975
You gave my daughter a tattoo last night.
406
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:10,254
What're you talking about?
407
00:18:10,279 --> 00:18:12,530
Namaste.
408
00:18:14,546 --> 00:18:16,280
Oh, my...
409
00:18:16,305 --> 00:18:18,188
Oh, my God.
410
00:18:18,213 --> 00:18:21,430
I... I did not know that
that was your daughter.
411
00:18:21,455 --> 00:18:23,572
I... there were four girls.
412
00:18:23,597 --> 00:18:25,014
They all came in here at the same time.
413
00:18:25,039 --> 00:18:27,205
I... I had no idea.
414
00:18:27,230 --> 00:18:29,311
Yep, right on the side boob in Sanskrit.
415
00:18:29,336 --> 00:18:30,344
- Yeah.
- Marked for life.
416
00:18:30,370 --> 00:18:31,907
Thank you very much.
417
00:18:31,932 --> 00:18:33,465
And then you stood me up at a bar
418
00:18:33,468 --> 00:18:35,696
and broke with me with a
text, which I guess I deserve,
419
00:18:35,721 --> 00:18:37,026
but it still made me feel like crap.
420
00:18:37,051 --> 00:18:37,988
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
421
00:18:38,013 --> 00:18:39,834
I didn't stand you up,
422
00:18:39,858 --> 00:18:41,408
and I definitely didn't break up with you.
423
00:18:41,433 --> 00:18:43,488
Oh, no?
424
00:18:43,513 --> 00:18:46,179
Sorry, can't make it work.
425
00:18:46,501 --> 00:18:47,750
Babe...
426
00:18:47,775 --> 00:18:50,194
Uh, it's, "Sorry."
427
00:18:50,219 --> 00:18:52,115
"Can't make it.
428
00:18:52,140 --> 00:18:54,224
Work."
429
00:18:54,249 --> 00:18:57,051
You know, on account of the four girls
430
00:18:57,076 --> 00:19:00,355
that just barged into my shop.
431
00:19:00,380 --> 00:19:02,881
Have you ever heard of punctuation?
432
00:19:03,304 --> 00:19:07,022
I mean, I thought the
meaning was pretty obvious.
433
00:19:07,047 --> 00:19:08,475
Well, not at the time.
434
00:19:08,500 --> 00:19:09,866
Yeah, I see that.
435
00:19:09,891 --> 00:19:12,058
So you didn't mean to break up with me?
436
00:19:12,083 --> 00:19:13,874
No.
437
00:19:14,901 --> 00:19:16,651
Good,
438
00:19:16,676 --> 00:19:19,844
'cause I was really sad
thinking that's what happened.
439
00:19:19,869 --> 00:19:21,244
Oh...
440
00:19:22,403 --> 00:19:25,187
I'm sorry...
441
00:19:25,619 --> 00:19:28,651
about everything.
442
00:19:31,510 --> 00:19:33,739
Is there any chance
443
00:19:33,764 --> 00:19:36,222
I can try and make it up to you?
444
00:19:39,832 --> 00:19:42,419
I only have time for a quickie apology.
445
00:19:42,444 --> 00:19:43,715
Mm.
446
00:19:43,740 --> 00:19:46,971
Quickies are my specialty.
31321
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