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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:02,087 --> 00:01:06,478 MY PARAD ISE APARTMENTS 2 00:01:19,647 --> 00:01:20,921 Who is it? 3 00:01:21,087 --> 00:01:22,918 Alfredo L�pez, Montoya Publishers Sales Manager. 4 00:01:23,087 --> 00:01:26,318 - Who? - Alfredo L�pez, 5 00:01:27,167 --> 00:01:28,805 book salesman. 6 00:01:29,007 --> 00:01:30,918 - What? - The postman. 7 00:01:37,007 --> 00:01:39,726 OUT OF ORDER 8 00:01:58,767 --> 00:02:01,042 The Illustrated Encyclopedia of the Spanish Civil War 9 00:02:01,207 --> 00:02:02,560 by Montoya Publishers. 10 00:02:02,727 --> 00:02:05,560 3080 pages, with over 2010 black and white photographs 11 00:02:05,727 --> 00:02:07,638 plus 525 photos in color. 12 00:02:08,127 --> 00:02:11,483 All included in ten leather bound luxury volumes. 13 00:02:12,447 --> 00:02:15,200 Plus an exact reproduction of a gold-plated bust 14 00:02:15,367 --> 00:02:18,404 of Francisco Franco Bahamonte, scale one to ten. 15 00:02:33,127 --> 00:02:35,004 The Illustrated Encyclopedia of the Spanish Civil War 16 00:02:35,167 --> 00:02:36,043 by Montoya Publishers. 17 00:02:36,207 --> 00:02:38,880 3080 pages, with 201 0 black and white photographs 18 00:02:39,047 --> 00:02:41,038 plus 525 photos in color. 19 00:02:41,207 --> 00:02:44,119 All included in ten leather bound luxury volumes... 20 00:02:53,367 --> 00:02:55,517 The Illustrated Encyclopedia of the Spanish Civil War 21 00:02:55,687 --> 00:02:57,245 by Montoya Publishers. 22 00:02:57,407 --> 00:03:00,365 3080 pages, with 201 0 black and white photographs 23 00:03:00,527 --> 00:03:01,960 plus 525 photographs in... 24 00:03:59,047 --> 00:04:00,765 Hey, you! 25 00:04:02,567 --> 00:04:05,445 Hello, Do�a Isabel! How is your back? 26 00:04:05,607 --> 00:04:07,325 You owe three months rent already. 27 00:04:07,487 --> 00:04:09,762 What are you waiting for? A miracle? 28 00:04:10,007 --> 00:04:11,565 This is an honest community 29 00:04:11,727 --> 00:04:14,685 and if you don't pay... you're out of here! 30 00:04:15,207 --> 00:04:18,165 Well, the thing is... 31 00:04:18,327 --> 00:04:21,603 You have until Monday. If not I'll call the police. 32 00:04:46,007 --> 00:04:47,884 This is so good... 33 00:04:50,407 --> 00:04:51,965 How was your day? 34 00:04:53,247 --> 00:04:54,236 Fine. 35 00:04:56,167 --> 00:04:59,045 Alfredo, your feet stink. 36 00:04:59,807 --> 00:05:01,877 We have to do the powder again, 37 00:05:02,207 --> 00:05:03,526 it doesn't last. 38 00:05:04,447 --> 00:05:07,678 The Seventh Art: Bogart, Garbo and many more. 39 00:05:07,847 --> 00:05:10,964 "The World of Cinema" encyclopedia by Montoya Publishers. 40 00:05:11,127 --> 00:05:12,560 Buy the first installment and 41 00:05:12,727 --> 00:05:15,161 get the second one free. For only 30 pesetas. 42 00:05:15,327 --> 00:05:16,999 Every week at your newsstand. 43 00:05:17,167 --> 00:05:18,885 Installments - for what? 44 00:05:19,327 --> 00:05:21,204 It takes three years to get it all. 45 00:05:21,407 --> 00:05:24,080 And then you need the cover to bind it, 46 00:05:24,247 --> 00:05:27,364 it's more expensive than if you buy the complete encyclopedia. 47 00:05:27,527 --> 00:05:29,597 Let's go to bed so we can rest 48 00:05:29,767 --> 00:05:32,725 and tomorrow all of us can go to work... 49 00:05:42,687 --> 00:05:43,802 Sorry. 50 00:06:11,207 --> 00:06:13,596 - I had two left! - What? 51 00:06:15,167 --> 00:06:18,045 What else, honey? The condoms. 52 00:06:19,207 --> 00:06:20,481 Alfredo... 53 00:06:21,607 --> 00:06:23,677 Three can live as cheaply as two. 54 00:06:23,847 --> 00:06:25,565 No, my love, no way. 55 00:06:26,767 --> 00:06:29,679 We can't even pay the electricity or the telephone or the rent. 56 00:06:30,767 --> 00:06:32,325 We don't even have enough for condoms. 57 00:06:43,927 --> 00:06:45,565 - What's this? - No... 58 00:06:45,727 --> 00:06:48,560 - Now you've gotten all upset. - Yes. 59 00:06:49,007 --> 00:06:51,362 - Come on, my love. - No, not now. 60 00:06:51,527 --> 00:06:53,085 - Why not? - No. 61 00:06:53,247 --> 00:06:54,839 You've got me going now. 62 00:07:03,807 --> 00:07:05,081 Where were you? 63 00:07:05,927 --> 00:07:09,158 Don Carlos wants to speak to you. Get ready, he's sure happy! 64 00:07:19,487 --> 00:07:21,682 Good morning, Miss Vanessa. 65 00:07:23,527 --> 00:07:25,119 I think Don Carlos... 66 00:07:30,727 --> 00:07:34,163 - Uncle Carlos... Alfredo is here. - Tell him to come in. 67 00:07:42,567 --> 00:07:43,886 Go on then. 68 00:07:44,167 --> 00:07:45,316 Thanks. 69 00:08:01,727 --> 00:08:03,365 Sit down, please. 70 00:08:19,767 --> 00:08:21,837 The door-to-door sales of encyclopedias 71 00:08:22,007 --> 00:08:23,486 have decreased dramatically. 72 00:08:23,807 --> 00:08:27,436 They only represent one percent of our total sales. 73 00:08:28,287 --> 00:08:30,960 In less than five years sales have dropped 74 00:08:31,127 --> 00:08:34,881 from about 1 13 million pesetas 75 00:08:35,047 --> 00:08:38,244 to two million pesetas in the last quarter... 76 00:08:39,087 --> 00:08:42,636 From a staff of forty salesmen only four are left. 77 00:08:45,047 --> 00:08:48,596 On the other hand, the weekly installment 78 00:08:49,407 --> 00:08:52,717 has increased proportionally. That's why 79 00:08:53,167 --> 00:08:56,239 the door-to-door salesman 80 00:08:56,407 --> 00:08:57,965 is going to disappear. 81 00:09:00,367 --> 00:09:02,676 How long have you been with us? 82 00:09:06,487 --> 00:09:07,602 Fifteen years. 83 00:09:08,167 --> 00:09:08,917 How many? 84 00:09:11,527 --> 00:09:12,642 Fifteen. 85 00:09:13,127 --> 00:09:16,642 And like the old saying goes: "Renewal or Death". 86 00:09:18,607 --> 00:09:20,040 I have no choice. 87 00:09:21,327 --> 00:09:24,319 I have to restructure the company. 88 00:09:25,887 --> 00:09:28,196 That's why we are going to organize a conference 89 00:09:28,367 --> 00:09:32,155 of new sales techniques for the launch 90 00:09:32,327 --> 00:09:36,002 of a new product, revolutionary and top secret. 91 00:09:36,607 --> 00:09:39,440 The conference will be held this coming weekend 92 00:09:39,607 --> 00:09:40,960 in a resort hotel. 93 00:09:42,887 --> 00:09:45,003 Consider yourself invited. 94 00:09:45,847 --> 00:09:48,486 And Marlon Brando gets up, 95 00:09:48,647 --> 00:09:50,683 races off to the kitchen, 96 00:09:50,887 --> 00:09:53,117 gets a bar of margarine from the fridge... 97 00:09:53,287 --> 00:09:56,597 And he tells her, "Come here bitch... 98 00:09:56,887 --> 00:09:59,640 take off your pants and your panties". 99 00:09:59,807 --> 00:10:00,956 All this in French. 100 00:10:01,967 --> 00:10:03,798 I don't speak French but it doesn't matter... 101 00:10:04,087 --> 00:10:07,318 And he starts to stuff butter in her buttocks like French toast. 102 00:10:09,127 --> 00:10:12,483 And then... he sticks in his "twinkie" without warning. 103 00:10:13,567 --> 00:10:14,886 She could be his daughter. 104 00:10:15,087 --> 00:10:19,126 Oh my God! And he keeps going on and on. 105 00:10:19,287 --> 00:10:21,118 Of course, she screams... 106 00:10:22,967 --> 00:10:25,435 You're hurting me. You're really hurting me. 107 00:10:27,887 --> 00:10:29,559 I thought "The Last Tango in Paris" 108 00:10:29,727 --> 00:10:31,001 was a musical. 109 00:10:31,567 --> 00:10:33,523 What an obscene movie! 110 00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:35,400 That would never happen in Spain. 111 00:10:39,527 --> 00:10:41,119 Paris Beauty Parlor. 112 00:10:41,407 --> 00:10:42,157 Yes. 113 00:10:42,447 --> 00:10:44,517 We're going to a resort hotel for the weekend. 114 00:10:44,687 --> 00:10:46,678 All expenses paid by Montoya Publishers. 115 00:10:46,847 --> 00:10:48,724 Ask La Fina if you can have Saturday off. 116 00:10:49,007 --> 00:10:50,565 Honey, I can't talk right now. 117 00:10:51,007 --> 00:10:54,124 She's looking at me. I'll call you later, bye. 118 00:10:59,207 --> 00:11:02,279 Tell your husband not to call you at work. 119 00:11:03,087 --> 00:11:06,762 Honey, we come here to work, OK? If not... out. 120 00:11:06,927 --> 00:11:08,519 You're too nice, Fina. 121 00:11:08,887 --> 00:11:10,718 My shop girls are the same. 122 00:11:14,327 --> 00:11:16,124 Hasn't it been on too long? 123 00:11:19,367 --> 00:11:20,959 Holy shit! 124 00:11:26,247 --> 00:11:27,441 Your severance pay. 125 00:11:44,967 --> 00:11:47,276 This car does everything but talk. 126 00:11:47,967 --> 00:11:50,276 Look, anatomical leather seats, anti-fog headlights, 127 00:11:50,447 --> 00:11:54,122 Formula 1 steering wheel, 8-track player 128 00:11:54,287 --> 00:11:55,800 with quadraphonic sound... 129 00:11:55,967 --> 00:11:58,481 - Dynamite! - Sure. Look where you're going! 130 00:11:58,647 --> 00:12:00,319 But I am looking where I'm going. 131 00:12:00,847 --> 00:12:03,441 Carmen, what's bugging you now? 132 00:12:04,327 --> 00:12:06,204 I'm feeling sick... 133 00:12:06,367 --> 00:12:08,756 Will you go a little bit slower? Slow down. 134 00:12:11,047 --> 00:12:13,641 How many encyclopedias can you fit in the trunk? 135 00:12:13,807 --> 00:12:16,116 Lots! This car is fucking great! 136 00:12:20,207 --> 00:12:21,435 DULCINEA HALL: 137 00:12:21,607 --> 00:12:24,485 FIRST CONFERENCE OF MONTO YA PUBLISHERS 138 00:12:45,007 --> 00:12:46,281 Good evening. 139 00:12:49,927 --> 00:12:51,280 Shut up. 140 00:12:53,687 --> 00:12:54,597 Good evening. 141 00:12:55,167 --> 00:12:59,957 Welcome to Montoya Publishers first conference. 142 00:13:00,727 --> 00:13:02,445 Vanessa, please. 143 00:13:10,007 --> 00:13:13,602 Good evening, I am Dr. Johansen 144 00:13:13,847 --> 00:13:16,725 from the Copenhagen Institute of Sexual Research 145 00:13:17,487 --> 00:13:21,480 and I welcome you to the fascinating world of Reproduction. 146 00:13:22,687 --> 00:13:27,044 Did you know that in Zaire the Mambusi tribe 147 00:13:27,207 --> 00:13:30,404 dig holes in the ground and put their penises in them 148 00:13:30,567 --> 00:13:32,125 to please the fertility gods? 149 00:13:34,207 --> 00:13:37,483 Did you know that in China, 150 00:13:37,647 --> 00:13:39,365 diminutive feet 151 00:13:39,527 --> 00:13:42,678 are a symbol of beauty and desire? 152 00:13:42,847 --> 00:13:45,281 And that the stronger the aroma and smaller the size 153 00:13:45,447 --> 00:13:46,880 the greater the pleasure? 154 00:13:48,567 --> 00:13:52,685 Our institute answers all these questions 155 00:13:52,847 --> 00:13:55,156 with the most fascinating encyclopedia of all. 156 00:13:55,327 --> 00:13:58,478 "The World Audiovisual Encyclopedia of Reproduction". 157 00:13:58,727 --> 00:14:01,799 Each week you'll receive an installment 158 00:14:01,967 --> 00:14:04,003 and one Super 8 movie 159 00:14:04,167 --> 00:14:06,078 featuring the reproductive rites and customs 160 00:14:06,247 --> 00:14:08,715 of countries from around the world. 161 00:14:13,727 --> 00:14:15,843 In Scandinavia, 162 00:14:16,487 --> 00:14:20,275 "The World Audiovisual Encyclopedia of Reproduction" 163 00:14:20,687 --> 00:14:23,281 has achieved record sales. 164 00:14:25,087 --> 00:14:27,840 Montoya Publishers will have the honor 165 00:14:28,007 --> 00:14:33,127 of collaborating in the installments 166 00:14:33,287 --> 00:14:36,882 on Spanish reproductive customs. 167 00:14:39,127 --> 00:14:43,040 And I want to offer you a unique opportunity. 168 00:14:43,207 --> 00:14:45,516 Make these educational Super 8 movies 169 00:14:45,687 --> 00:14:47,996 in your own home while you copulate, 170 00:14:48,167 --> 00:14:50,556 - and you will be participating... - What's copulate? 171 00:14:50,727 --> 00:14:53,241 ...in this rigorous scientific study. 172 00:14:53,407 --> 00:14:57,639 Of course, this encyclopedia 173 00:14:57,807 --> 00:15:01,482 will only be sold in Scandinavian countries. 174 00:15:01,847 --> 00:15:02,916 Any questions? 175 00:15:08,727 --> 00:15:11,400 Pardon me... In other words, 176 00:15:11,567 --> 00:15:15,242 you want us to make the movies 177 00:15:15,407 --> 00:15:18,160 when we are making love to our wives, 178 00:15:18,327 --> 00:15:19,646 in our homes. 179 00:15:20,487 --> 00:15:22,125 Scientifically speaking, yes. 180 00:15:22,287 --> 00:15:24,039 This is an insult. It's disgusting. 181 00:15:26,047 --> 00:15:27,116 How much per movie? 182 00:15:27,287 --> 00:15:31,075 Fifty thousand pesetas per movie plus a bonus, 183 00:15:31,247 --> 00:15:33,397 depending on the number of movies sold. 184 00:15:33,567 --> 00:15:35,683 In other words, installment sales. 185 00:15:36,527 --> 00:15:38,085 Don't you think my wife and I 186 00:15:38,247 --> 00:15:42,240 are too old for this kind of experiment? 187 00:15:42,487 --> 00:15:46,480 No, I don't. Every complete scientific experiment 188 00:15:46,647 --> 00:15:49,957 needs a sample of the entire active population 189 00:15:50,127 --> 00:15:52,357 of the country. Without... 190 00:15:52,527 --> 00:15:54,165 Count on us, Don Carlos. 191 00:15:54,807 --> 00:15:56,525 Thank you. Without further delay, 192 00:15:56,687 --> 00:15:59,918 let's welcome our experts... 193 00:16:00,087 --> 00:16:02,681 Erik Molander and his wife Frida. 194 00:16:06,527 --> 00:16:10,281 Erik Molander was a longtime assistant 195 00:16:10,447 --> 00:16:14,326 to the famous Swedish director, Ingmar Bergman. 196 00:16:14,647 --> 00:16:18,083 Now he's supervisor of the collection. 197 00:16:19,047 --> 00:16:22,562 During this weekend Erik and Frida will teach you 198 00:16:22,727 --> 00:16:25,799 how to make these movies. 199 00:16:29,887 --> 00:16:32,720 We can't leave as we have no car. Otherwise... 200 00:16:32,887 --> 00:16:33,956 Thank you. 201 00:16:35,207 --> 00:16:37,084 As Queen Elizabeth "The Catholic" used to say, 202 00:16:37,247 --> 00:16:39,761 "Better honesty without ships than ships without honesty." 203 00:16:40,567 --> 00:16:42,478 Please, thank you. 204 00:16:42,647 --> 00:16:44,717 The prawns are glorious, have one. 205 00:16:47,407 --> 00:16:48,681 No thank you. 206 00:16:49,367 --> 00:16:51,244 Carmen, you don't look good. 207 00:16:51,967 --> 00:16:55,164 Maybe it's your outfit, it makes you look short. 208 00:16:55,567 --> 00:16:58,365 Jose Carlos, look at those lamb chops. They look great! 209 00:16:58,687 --> 00:17:00,279 Do me a favor. 210 00:17:01,367 --> 00:17:02,846 Let me help you. 211 00:17:05,167 --> 00:17:07,397 Alfredo, don't eat any more prawns, please. 212 00:17:10,047 --> 00:17:11,639 Can I count on you? 213 00:17:13,007 --> 00:17:16,044 If you want to leave, a bus in the morning 214 00:17:16,207 --> 00:17:19,404 will take you to Madrid. 215 00:17:20,527 --> 00:17:22,643 But if you decide to take this bus, 216 00:17:22,847 --> 00:17:25,315 your services will no longer be required 217 00:17:25,487 --> 00:17:27,717 by the Montoya Publishing Family. 218 00:17:34,847 --> 00:17:37,884 Honey, I told you not to eat so many prawns or you'll get sick. 219 00:17:43,727 --> 00:17:45,479 His first smile. 220 00:17:46,527 --> 00:17:48,199 His first caress. 221 00:17:49,007 --> 00:17:52,044 His first kiss. His first baby food, Nestun. 222 00:17:53,287 --> 00:17:58,077 Alfredo, how much per movie? Fifty thousand? 223 00:17:59,247 --> 00:18:00,362 And a bonus... 224 00:18:03,527 --> 00:18:06,405 Do we have to do it with the light on or off? 225 00:18:10,687 --> 00:18:12,200 Don't even think about it. 226 00:18:13,927 --> 00:18:15,565 My wife isn't going to show her bits. 227 00:18:15,727 --> 00:18:17,843 No way! Not for a science, not for the pope! 228 00:18:18,687 --> 00:18:20,439 I didn't say anything. 229 00:18:21,687 --> 00:18:22,756 Exactly. 230 00:18:25,807 --> 00:18:28,002 How many encyclopedias do you have to sell 231 00:18:28,167 --> 00:18:29,805 to get fifty thousand pesetas? 232 00:18:31,327 --> 00:18:32,760 1 54. 233 00:18:36,367 --> 00:18:37,561 Forget it! 234 00:18:38,087 --> 00:18:39,759 We're not going to do it and that's it! 235 00:18:48,687 --> 00:18:49,836 Carmen... 236 00:18:54,007 --> 00:18:55,998 We can talk about it if you want. 237 00:19:38,007 --> 00:19:38,996 Pull! 238 00:19:40,767 --> 00:19:42,041 Pull, baby! 239 00:19:49,487 --> 00:19:53,241 The important thing is for woman not to dress for man 240 00:19:53,647 --> 00:19:55,842 but to take off for man... 241 00:19:56,247 --> 00:19:58,442 slow and hot. 242 00:20:00,287 --> 00:20:02,960 Please, take off clothes for man. 243 00:20:03,287 --> 00:20:04,037 Me? 244 00:20:04,687 --> 00:20:06,040 Now! 245 00:20:06,207 --> 00:20:07,322 All day I don't have. 246 00:20:09,047 --> 00:20:10,526 Your man. 247 00:20:12,967 --> 00:20:14,116 What's this? 248 00:20:16,487 --> 00:20:17,715 A camera. 249 00:20:17,887 --> 00:20:20,560 No, it's your eye, 250 00:20:20,767 --> 00:20:24,237 through which you are going to see the world from now on. 251 00:20:24,927 --> 00:20:26,485 Bergman used to say, 252 00:20:26,647 --> 00:20:30,606 "Films are the reflection of reality 253 00:20:30,767 --> 00:20:32,803 seen through the eyes of a child." 254 00:20:33,087 --> 00:20:35,442 The camera is like a car 255 00:20:35,847 --> 00:20:38,839 and you have to steer the image. 256 00:21:08,207 --> 00:21:09,003 Ready... 257 00:21:10,767 --> 00:21:12,439 Get set... go. 258 00:21:51,047 --> 00:21:51,957 Everything! Everything! 259 00:22:08,687 --> 00:22:11,599 Shutter, aperture, 260 00:22:11,767 --> 00:22:15,442 viewfinder, film and battery. 261 00:22:16,047 --> 00:22:18,163 Types of lens: 262 00:22:18,327 --> 00:22:21,876 Wide angle, normal and telephoto. 263 00:22:35,687 --> 00:22:37,598 Two or three things I teach you. 264 00:22:37,767 --> 00:22:39,166 Your husband appreciate. 265 00:23:02,647 --> 00:23:03,363 Cut. 266 00:23:05,527 --> 00:23:07,006 Yes, Alfredo? 267 00:23:08,767 --> 00:23:12,521 Erik, I think Frida 268 00:23:13,447 --> 00:23:15,756 threw a shadow over you 269 00:23:16,607 --> 00:23:18,962 and the high angle 270 00:23:19,127 --> 00:23:22,836 isn't the best to capture the action. 271 00:23:23,807 --> 00:23:27,720 I think a low angle 272 00:23:30,087 --> 00:23:32,601 with a long lens 273 00:23:33,207 --> 00:23:34,481 from the other side 274 00:23:35,087 --> 00:23:36,486 would be much better. 275 00:23:36,647 --> 00:23:39,525 Very intelligent observation, Alfredo. 276 00:23:40,647 --> 00:23:43,798 Bergman used to say, "The position of the camera 277 00:23:43,967 --> 00:23:47,403 and the choice of lens must represent 278 00:23:47,567 --> 00:23:49,762 the soul of the human being." 279 00:23:51,567 --> 00:23:54,206 Alfredo, move the camera. Fast! 280 00:23:54,847 --> 00:23:55,723 Yes. 281 00:23:56,487 --> 00:23:57,761 - Come on, Alfredo! - I'm coming! 282 00:24:03,487 --> 00:24:04,806 Alfredo L�pez 283 00:24:09,007 --> 00:24:10,235 Congratulations. 284 00:24:12,007 --> 00:24:13,122 Congratulations. 285 00:24:23,607 --> 00:24:26,360 And so our first conference comes to an end. 286 00:24:26,567 --> 00:24:28,876 I want you all to take a few days off 287 00:24:29,047 --> 00:24:31,436 and shoot your first movie. 288 00:24:32,327 --> 00:24:34,841 Do it for the progress of Science. 289 00:24:46,727 --> 00:24:48,365 If you don't know what to do, 290 00:24:48,527 --> 00:24:50,438 copy the master 291 00:24:51,087 --> 00:24:53,203 who knew damn well what to do. 292 00:24:53,527 --> 00:24:56,564 The important thing is to shoot and shoot... 293 00:25:00,527 --> 00:25:01,596 For you. 294 00:25:15,407 --> 00:25:18,524 - Bergman used to say... - Shut up! 295 00:25:21,127 --> 00:25:22,480 My boys... 296 00:25:23,567 --> 00:25:25,125 Rene, Lars 297 00:25:25,287 --> 00:25:27,642 - and Bo. - They're precious! 298 00:25:27,927 --> 00:25:30,395 Carmen, you must have child soon. 299 00:25:30,847 --> 00:25:33,202 - Send photo to me. Copenhagen. - I promise. 300 00:25:33,367 --> 00:25:34,083 Yes. 301 00:25:39,127 --> 00:25:41,846 This could be the beginning of a great partnership. 302 00:25:42,967 --> 00:25:44,320 Don't let me down. 303 00:25:45,287 --> 00:25:48,245 Come on guys, hurry up or we'll get stuck in a traffic jam. 304 00:25:49,367 --> 00:25:52,086 And don't get sick and slow me down, Carmen. 305 00:25:57,847 --> 00:25:59,041 Hey, you! 306 00:26:01,727 --> 00:26:03,285 Good evening, Do�a Isabel. 307 00:26:03,447 --> 00:26:04,926 By the way, 308 00:26:06,047 --> 00:26:08,197 I have what we agreed... 309 00:26:10,967 --> 00:26:13,117 And I'm also going to pay you 310 00:26:13,287 --> 00:26:15,562 two months in advance for rent 311 00:26:16,047 --> 00:26:17,526 and utilities. 312 00:26:18,327 --> 00:26:21,046 Do�a Isabel, please, why don't you fix the toilet? 313 00:26:21,207 --> 00:26:24,279 And the spigot in the bidet doesn't work. Thanks, good night. 314 00:26:25,847 --> 00:26:26,962 Action! 315 00:26:49,127 --> 00:26:51,641 Take it off. 316 00:28:59,727 --> 00:29:02,400 Ow! You're hurting me! 317 00:29:11,367 --> 00:29:13,562 If it's a boy we'll call him Alfredo. 318 00:29:17,647 --> 00:29:18,921 And if it's a girl... 319 00:29:24,887 --> 00:29:27,082 Marisol, like the movie star... 320 00:30:02,207 --> 00:30:03,686 I'll explain. 321 00:30:04,287 --> 00:30:07,120 Don't worry, it's not bad. 322 00:30:07,287 --> 00:30:08,276 Not bad. 323 00:30:11,047 --> 00:30:13,607 You have to take care of some details, but it's not bad. 324 00:30:13,767 --> 00:30:15,041 There's more. 325 00:30:16,327 --> 00:30:16,998 Hit it. 326 00:30:33,887 --> 00:30:34,842 Very good. 327 00:30:37,007 --> 00:30:38,759 Very good. Very good. 328 00:30:43,967 --> 00:30:45,195 Very good. 329 00:30:46,807 --> 00:30:49,082 Congratulate Carmen. 330 00:30:50,287 --> 00:30:51,959 Very good. 331 00:30:55,087 --> 00:30:56,236 Very good. 332 00:30:57,447 --> 00:30:59,517 Very good. Very good. 333 00:31:00,927 --> 00:31:01,996 Remember, 334 00:31:02,167 --> 00:31:05,921 more movies, more bonus. 335 00:31:12,287 --> 00:31:14,926 PREGNANCY TEST 336 00:31:19,367 --> 00:31:20,436 Surprise! 337 00:31:23,167 --> 00:31:24,839 Grundig Supercolor. 338 00:31:25,007 --> 00:31:27,237 The most advanced television on the market. 339 00:31:27,407 --> 00:31:28,396 You like it? 340 00:31:39,767 --> 00:31:41,246 But it's a color TV. 341 00:31:43,687 --> 00:31:44,961 Honey, 342 00:31:45,847 --> 00:31:47,644 take me to the movies. 343 00:31:47,887 --> 00:31:49,161 I love you. 344 00:31:50,807 --> 00:31:54,277 - Does it still hurt? - Not much, sometimes. 345 00:31:54,527 --> 00:31:55,960 Does it move? 346 00:31:56,127 --> 00:31:58,687 Well, before it seemed like a kick. 347 00:31:58,847 --> 00:32:00,439 You're joking! Why is that? 348 00:32:00,607 --> 00:32:02,245 I don't know, maybe he wants out. 349 00:32:02,687 --> 00:32:06,441 - But it's too soon, isn't it? - Yes, but he likes to kick. 350 00:32:07,167 --> 00:32:08,998 It was beautiful, wasn't it? 351 00:32:09,727 --> 00:32:12,924 That was a great tearjerker. 352 00:32:13,087 --> 00:32:15,078 The photography was great. 353 00:32:15,447 --> 00:32:17,165 He uses the zoom very well. 354 00:32:18,047 --> 00:32:19,480 Alfredo, 355 00:32:22,287 --> 00:32:23,720 do you love me? 356 00:32:26,847 --> 00:32:28,075 Of course. 357 00:32:29,367 --> 00:32:32,916 Not of course! I want you to say it. 358 00:32:41,487 --> 00:32:42,522 What? 359 00:32:45,967 --> 00:32:47,685 You silly! 360 00:33:00,727 --> 00:33:03,525 GOODBYE STORK, GOODBYE 361 00:33:22,847 --> 00:33:26,362 I love you baby I love you baby 362 00:33:26,527 --> 00:33:29,519 I want you to know I'm happy 363 00:33:29,687 --> 00:33:32,759 I love you baby I love you baby 364 00:33:32,927 --> 00:33:35,805 I live thinking about you 365 00:33:36,047 --> 00:33:38,880 Guide and I will follow 366 00:33:39,047 --> 00:33:42,164 because my way is your way 367 00:33:42,367 --> 00:33:45,359 Look at me your eyes will be 368 00:33:45,527 --> 00:33:48,087 what makes me see the sky so blue 369 00:33:48,247 --> 00:33:51,523 Our love is no illusion 370 00:33:54,007 --> 00:33:57,920 of ever-changing color 371 00:34:02,447 --> 00:34:05,917 I love you baby I love you baby 372 00:34:06,087 --> 00:34:08,999 I want you to know I'm happy 373 00:34:09,167 --> 00:34:12,398 I love you baby I love you baby 374 00:34:12,567 --> 00:34:15,479 I live thinking about you 375 00:34:15,647 --> 00:34:18,684 Love me Your voice is a song 376 00:34:18,847 --> 00:34:22,078 I am king of the world 377 00:34:22,287 --> 00:34:25,040 Love me The sunshine will shine 378 00:34:25,207 --> 00:34:28,244 like I never imagined 379 00:34:28,447 --> 00:34:31,439 Our love is no illusion 380 00:34:34,407 --> 00:34:37,843 of ever-changing color 381 00:34:55,367 --> 00:34:56,641 I love you baby 382 00:35:03,567 --> 00:35:04,443 You're next. 383 00:35:06,647 --> 00:35:08,797 Carmen, Carmen, Carmen 384 00:35:09,167 --> 00:35:12,398 I love you and you know it 385 00:35:12,567 --> 00:35:15,445 Carmen, Carmen, Carmen 386 00:35:16,327 --> 00:35:18,795 I'll never forget you 387 00:35:18,967 --> 00:35:21,765 Don't listen, please 388 00:35:21,927 --> 00:35:25,203 Don't listen, it's better 389 00:35:28,287 --> 00:35:32,075 Carmen I know you can't sleep 390 00:35:32,247 --> 00:35:33,919 with that great fear 391 00:35:36,327 --> 00:35:38,477 Tell me where can I be better 392 00:35:38,647 --> 00:35:41,923 than with your kisses and your love 393 00:35:43,967 --> 00:35:46,765 I know you used to say 394 00:35:46,927 --> 00:35:49,487 I don't really love you 395 00:35:50,767 --> 00:35:53,361 Always know it isn't true 396 00:35:53,527 --> 00:35:56,405 without your smile I cannot live 397 00:35:56,567 --> 00:35:59,400 Always know that people 398 00:35:59,567 --> 00:36:01,637 envy those who are happy 399 00:36:04,327 --> 00:36:06,636 Hey, don't be a pain. Help me. 400 00:36:06,807 --> 00:36:08,798 Carmen, Carmen, Carmen 401 00:36:08,967 --> 00:36:11,720 I love you and you know it 402 00:36:12,207 --> 00:36:15,040 Carmen, Carmen, Carmen 403 00:36:15,207 --> 00:36:18,438 I'll never forget you 404 00:36:18,607 --> 00:36:21,326 Don't listen, please 405 00:36:21,487 --> 00:36:24,126 Don't listen, it's better 406 00:36:24,727 --> 00:36:27,446 Carmen, Carmen, Carmen 407 00:36:27,607 --> 00:36:30,679 I love you and you know it 408 00:36:30,927 --> 00:36:33,885 Carmen, Carmen, Carmen 409 00:36:34,047 --> 00:36:36,845 I'll never forget you 410 00:36:37,207 --> 00:36:40,005 Carmen, Carmen, Carmen 411 00:36:40,167 --> 00:36:43,204 I love you and you know it 412 00:36:43,607 --> 00:36:46,485 Carmen, Carmen, Carmen 413 00:36:56,247 --> 00:36:56,963 Carmen, 414 00:36:57,247 --> 00:36:58,680 I'm tired of... 415 00:36:59,967 --> 00:37:01,719 just making the same movie. 416 00:37:19,567 --> 00:37:21,444 TV SCHEDULE 417 00:37:22,327 --> 00:37:24,124 INGMAR BERGMAN FILM FESTIVAL 22:00 "THE SEVENTH SEAL" 418 00:37:24,287 --> 00:37:25,515 Are you ready? 419 00:37:25,687 --> 00:37:28,963 The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. 420 00:37:36,767 --> 00:37:38,200 Wait a moment. 421 00:37:38,367 --> 00:37:40,164 That is what they all say, 422 00:37:40,327 --> 00:37:42,045 but I don't give any more time. 423 00:37:42,207 --> 00:37:43,356 I'm going to bed. 424 00:37:43,527 --> 00:37:46,325 Do you play chess? Why should we play? 425 00:37:46,887 --> 00:37:48,923 If you lose the game, you let me live. 426 00:37:53,687 --> 00:37:55,325 Yours are the blacks. 427 00:38:12,527 --> 00:38:15,997 - Can I help you? - No, thank you. 428 00:38:28,287 --> 00:38:29,720 Are you taking it, ma'am? 429 00:38:34,047 --> 00:38:35,719 I'm just looking, I don't know. 430 00:38:45,807 --> 00:38:47,718 I'll keep on looking, thank you. 431 00:38:55,847 --> 00:38:58,566 Look, this one is on sale. It's a great carriage. 432 00:38:59,167 --> 00:39:01,442 I'll take it. 433 00:39:39,847 --> 00:39:43,157 Carmen, what's the matter? Where have you been? 434 00:39:43,327 --> 00:39:46,285 I've been looking for you. What's this carriage? 435 00:39:48,007 --> 00:39:49,838 - Are you all right? - Yes. 436 00:39:51,847 --> 00:39:52,996 That's him. 437 00:39:53,447 --> 00:39:54,436 Excuse me! 438 00:39:55,887 --> 00:39:57,559 I'm going to kick his ass! 439 00:40:00,967 --> 00:40:02,525 - Stop over there. - Pardon me. 440 00:40:02,687 --> 00:40:03,676 Let me deal with him. 441 00:40:04,727 --> 00:40:06,877 Carmen, Carmen... 442 00:40:07,287 --> 00:40:08,959 you sign autograph? 443 00:40:09,127 --> 00:40:11,687 - This is a misunderstanding. - Sorry, this is a mistake. 444 00:40:11,847 --> 00:40:13,166 Very good actress 445 00:40:13,487 --> 00:40:16,604 and very pretty. 446 00:40:22,767 --> 00:40:25,486 Sure, sure. Give it to me. 447 00:40:26,767 --> 00:40:28,200 - Should I sign? - Yes. 448 00:40:28,367 --> 00:40:29,846 What's your name? 449 00:40:30,767 --> 00:40:32,598 Carmen... And you? 450 00:40:34,287 --> 00:40:35,436 Dennis, Dennis. 451 00:40:38,287 --> 00:40:40,039 Thank you, thank you. 452 00:40:42,607 --> 00:40:44,518 - Alfredo! - Carmen! 453 00:40:45,807 --> 00:40:48,196 What a coin-ci-dence. 454 00:40:48,367 --> 00:40:51,086 We were surprised you didn't return to Madrid. 455 00:40:51,247 --> 00:40:51,997 We were. 456 00:40:53,527 --> 00:40:55,483 It's been a pleasure seeing you. 457 00:40:56,527 --> 00:40:59,439 We have to go now, we're double parked. 458 00:40:59,607 --> 00:41:01,677 How are the movies going? 459 00:41:05,127 --> 00:41:06,924 Do you have a life insurance policy? 460 00:41:07,607 --> 00:41:08,517 No. 461 00:41:09,087 --> 00:41:11,123 This is genuine otter... 462 00:41:13,727 --> 00:41:15,638 Call me on Monday. 463 00:41:15,807 --> 00:41:18,719 I'm sure you need life insurance. 464 00:41:19,007 --> 00:41:20,759 And an accident insurance policy. 465 00:41:21,207 --> 00:41:23,846 Let's go, Jose Carlos. We're going to be late for church. 466 00:41:24,047 --> 00:41:25,036 Call me. 467 00:41:30,807 --> 00:41:33,958 I have to talk to Don Carlos. This can't go on. 468 00:41:57,567 --> 00:42:01,845 And finally the Copenhagen Institute of Sexual Research 469 00:42:02,007 --> 00:42:04,965 sends its congratulations! 470 00:42:05,127 --> 00:42:09,166 The "World Audiovisual Encyclopedia of Reproduction" 471 00:42:09,327 --> 00:42:11,238 has been a success. 472 00:42:11,407 --> 00:42:12,362 Darling... 473 00:42:16,967 --> 00:42:18,605 Charly, Charly. 474 00:42:18,967 --> 00:42:21,720 - Look who it is! - It's M�ximo Valverde. 475 00:42:23,567 --> 00:42:25,125 M�ximo Valverde. 476 00:42:25,567 --> 00:42:27,285 How are you? I'm so glad to see you! 477 00:42:27,447 --> 00:42:29,244 What's up? What are you doing now? 478 00:42:29,407 --> 00:42:31,284 Shooting a spaghetti western in Almer�a. 479 00:42:31,447 --> 00:42:32,766 They're in style. 480 00:42:32,927 --> 00:42:35,999 The star is Telly Savalas, and as usual I'll be the ladies' man. 481 00:42:36,167 --> 00:42:38,362 You never stop. Come and join us. 482 00:42:38,527 --> 00:42:40,006 - Of course! - Waiter! 483 00:42:40,407 --> 00:42:43,205 Let me introduce you to my niece Vanessa... 484 00:42:43,367 --> 00:42:44,277 Hello. 485 00:42:44,447 --> 00:42:46,677 - My employee Alfredo L�pez, - A pleasure. 486 00:42:46,847 --> 00:42:48,724 - How do you do? - And his wife Carmen. 487 00:42:50,127 --> 00:42:51,037 A pleasure. 488 00:42:51,207 --> 00:42:53,038 Juan Luis Hurtado, at your service. 489 00:42:53,207 --> 00:42:55,721 Tell me, what are you going to do after this movie? 490 00:42:59,087 --> 00:43:01,362 I have something to tell you, Don Carlos. 491 00:43:02,407 --> 00:43:05,001 - Go on. - Well... 492 00:43:05,767 --> 00:43:07,325 For Carmen and I 493 00:43:08,167 --> 00:43:12,558 it's embarrassing to do these films. 494 00:43:13,607 --> 00:43:16,075 The other day we were shopping... 495 00:43:16,247 --> 00:43:19,637 and a foreign guy was filming us 496 00:43:19,807 --> 00:43:22,116 with a Super 8 camera 497 00:43:22,447 --> 00:43:24,244 and he showed us a magazine that... 498 00:43:25,727 --> 00:43:29,606 That's why we don't want to make 499 00:43:29,767 --> 00:43:31,723 any more Scientific movies. 500 00:43:31,887 --> 00:43:35,562 Don't worry. I'll talk to the Institute. 501 00:43:38,607 --> 00:43:41,758 Take some time off and call me when you get back, all right? 502 00:43:49,727 --> 00:43:51,365 Excuse me... dance? 503 00:43:53,687 --> 00:43:55,564 Hey there, do you wanna get down? 504 00:44:00,407 --> 00:44:02,398 I was thinking 505 00:44:02,567 --> 00:44:05,035 maybe you and me could boogie to this tune. 506 00:44:06,087 --> 00:44:07,805 No. Waiter! 507 00:44:12,727 --> 00:44:14,126 It's hot, isn't it? 508 00:44:15,087 --> 00:44:18,238 - Why don't we get it on? - No. 509 00:44:18,407 --> 00:44:20,079 Okay... no then. 510 00:44:37,927 --> 00:44:40,236 Hey, you're wife's getting dry humped. 511 00:44:58,287 --> 00:45:01,597 Stop it, Alfredo. M�ximo is a gentleman. 512 00:45:01,767 --> 00:45:03,405 Yeah. And Dracula was a count. 513 00:45:03,767 --> 00:45:05,166 You're jealous! 514 00:45:05,407 --> 00:45:07,602 Of a hustler who thinks he's a movie star? 515 00:45:08,607 --> 00:45:09,960 I know you liked him. 516 00:45:10,287 --> 00:45:11,037 Who, me? 517 00:45:11,447 --> 00:45:14,280 You two danced seven songs in a row. 518 00:45:16,007 --> 00:45:18,237 You even tried to slow dance to the mambo. 519 00:45:19,727 --> 00:45:21,763 Let's see... do you have children? 520 00:45:22,007 --> 00:45:22,996 No. 521 00:45:26,847 --> 00:45:28,519 You've wanted one since when? 522 00:45:28,967 --> 00:45:31,435 - Six years... - Six months... 523 00:45:37,967 --> 00:45:40,527 I'll need a sample of your sperm. 524 00:45:40,807 --> 00:45:41,683 Mine? 525 00:45:46,167 --> 00:45:47,759 Oh, no, no... 526 00:45:50,767 --> 00:45:52,758 I only came here to accompany her. 527 00:46:01,727 --> 00:46:03,080 Sister, please! 528 00:48:43,207 --> 00:48:45,596 Carmen, my love, I've got a great idea 529 00:48:45,767 --> 00:48:47,439 for a long movie. 530 00:48:48,327 --> 00:48:51,603 Title: "Torremolinos 73"... 531 00:48:52,527 --> 00:48:53,721 What do you think? 532 00:48:56,087 --> 00:48:59,523 Let me tell you about it... it's about a millionaire widow, 533 00:48:59,687 --> 00:49:01,006 with lots of money, 534 00:49:01,167 --> 00:49:03,840 who goes to Torremolinos after her husband dies. 535 00:49:04,007 --> 00:49:06,237 She can't get him out of her mind 536 00:49:06,407 --> 00:49:09,285 and she doesn't know how to get over him... 537 00:49:35,407 --> 00:49:36,806 BY ALFREDO LOPEZ 538 00:49:42,607 --> 00:49:43,357 Hello? 539 00:49:43,527 --> 00:49:46,360 Dr. Regulez's office calling. We have the results. 540 00:49:50,687 --> 00:49:53,440 ALFREDO LOPEZ SPERM COUNT: 541 00:49:55,127 --> 00:49:56,321 ZERO 542 00:50:30,487 --> 00:50:32,557 Please, Carmen. Could you turn it down? 543 00:50:43,247 --> 00:50:44,441 Carmen, turn it down! 544 00:51:24,407 --> 00:51:26,238 Fuck, Carmen! For Christ's sake! 545 00:51:31,287 --> 00:51:33,084 - Did you hurt yourself? - No. 546 00:51:33,247 --> 00:51:36,125 - What's wrong with you, Carmen? - Nothing. 547 00:51:37,407 --> 00:51:39,523 - Something's wrong with you. - No. 548 00:51:39,687 --> 00:51:41,120 - Please tell me. - No. 549 00:51:41,367 --> 00:51:45,280 Tell me what's wrong with you. Please, what's wrong? 550 00:51:45,447 --> 00:51:47,722 We can't have children. 551 00:52:05,887 --> 00:52:07,764 I told you it couldn't be me. 552 00:52:19,687 --> 00:52:20,915 Carmencita... 553 00:52:33,847 --> 00:52:35,200 I'm sorry, my love. 554 00:52:42,167 --> 00:52:44,317 They said the same to Nicasia and Martin 555 00:52:44,487 --> 00:52:46,045 and they had triplets. 556 00:52:48,207 --> 00:52:50,516 You know doctors make mistakes. 557 00:52:51,367 --> 00:52:53,164 Look at your cousin El Chato. 558 00:52:54,367 --> 00:52:56,403 They cut off his good leg instead of the bad one. 559 00:52:56,567 --> 00:52:59,764 - What a shame! - It happens all the time... 560 00:53:09,807 --> 00:53:10,956 What if... 561 00:53:12,647 --> 00:53:14,126 we adopt a child? 562 00:53:17,527 --> 00:53:20,041 - Really? - Sure. 563 00:53:20,367 --> 00:53:21,686 Oh, Alfredo! 564 00:53:24,407 --> 00:53:28,286 All right my love, come on, calm down. 565 00:53:32,407 --> 00:53:33,999 How is your script going? 566 00:53:34,407 --> 00:53:35,840 Good, very good. 567 00:53:37,127 --> 00:53:39,595 - Do you want to read it? - Later. 568 00:53:44,087 --> 00:53:47,318 There are things I don't understand... but I like it. 569 00:53:47,767 --> 00:53:48,722 Really? 570 00:53:55,087 --> 00:53:57,078 I wrote the role of Marga for you. 571 00:53:57,887 --> 00:53:59,115 No! 572 00:53:59,807 --> 00:54:00,683 Yes! 573 00:54:02,007 --> 00:54:03,804 When you finish it, what then? 574 00:54:06,247 --> 00:54:07,202 I don't know. 575 00:54:27,167 --> 00:54:28,600 Excuse me. 576 00:54:34,967 --> 00:54:36,923 Sorry... sorry. 577 00:54:43,207 --> 00:54:44,162 Excuse me, 578 00:54:46,407 --> 00:54:48,125 could you give this to Don Carlos? 579 00:54:48,367 --> 00:54:49,925 What's this? 580 00:54:51,887 --> 00:54:53,366 Whatever. 581 00:54:53,967 --> 00:54:55,036 I'll give it to him. 582 00:54:56,327 --> 00:54:57,442 Thank you. 583 00:55:11,527 --> 00:55:14,041 To adopt a child there are two prerequisites. 584 00:55:14,567 --> 00:55:17,604 First, an annual income over 500,000 pesetas. 585 00:55:17,767 --> 00:55:20,156 And second, clean and decent morals, 586 00:55:20,327 --> 00:55:22,238 without any criminal record of course... 587 00:55:22,407 --> 00:55:25,080 After an in-depth investigation of each candidate couple, 588 00:55:25,247 --> 00:55:27,283 the Juvenile Court makes a decision. 589 00:55:29,487 --> 00:55:32,604 - Hello. What's your name? - Pedro Luis, get back into line. 590 00:55:33,047 --> 00:55:35,242 I just adore them. How long does it take 591 00:55:35,407 --> 00:55:37,363 for the Juvenile Court to make a decision? 592 00:55:37,527 --> 00:55:39,324 Not long, four to five years. 593 00:55:41,247 --> 00:55:45,206 Did you know that the movie "Don't Trust Your 5th Floor Neighbor" 594 00:55:45,367 --> 00:55:48,120 has made 1 00 million pesetas in Spain 595 00:55:48,287 --> 00:55:50,676 and it cost only six million...? 596 00:55:51,967 --> 00:55:55,039 "The Green Starts in the Pyrenees" has made 70 million 597 00:55:55,207 --> 00:55:56,401 since it opened. 598 00:55:57,887 --> 00:55:59,206 Movies... 599 00:55:59,807 --> 00:56:02,116 Alfredo, movies could be a great business. 600 00:56:03,727 --> 00:56:07,800 Because of the great performance of our audiovisual division, 601 00:56:08,167 --> 00:56:11,045 I've created Montoya Films. 602 00:56:12,527 --> 00:56:16,520 The idea is to make other types of movies... 603 00:56:17,207 --> 00:56:20,438 like "Torremolinos 73". 604 00:56:23,327 --> 00:56:26,842 I like it, Alfredo, 605 00:56:28,727 --> 00:56:31,924 considering the source, it has the flavor... 606 00:56:32,087 --> 00:56:34,396 It reminds me of Bergman's first movies. 607 00:56:36,527 --> 00:56:38,040 Let's see. 608 00:56:38,247 --> 00:56:41,717 How would you like to direct "Torremolinos 73"? 609 00:56:44,127 --> 00:56:47,244 35 millimeter, a professional crew... 610 00:56:48,527 --> 00:56:51,485 Don Carlos, don't put me on. 611 00:56:51,807 --> 00:56:54,321 M�ximo Valverde wants to do it. 612 00:56:54,607 --> 00:56:55,596 M�ximo? 613 00:56:56,207 --> 00:56:58,641 He would like Carmen to be his co-star. 614 00:56:59,087 --> 00:57:00,998 We're only amateurs... 615 00:57:01,887 --> 00:57:03,843 Amateurs with talent. 616 00:57:11,127 --> 00:57:13,595 Shoot it. You're gonna miss it! Cojones! 617 00:57:20,527 --> 00:57:23,041 Where would you like the premiere? 618 00:57:29,607 --> 00:57:30,926 Good shot. 619 00:57:31,727 --> 00:57:34,480 - Did I hit it? - Bull's-eye. 620 00:57:38,167 --> 00:57:40,078 You don't have to worry about anything. 621 00:57:40,247 --> 00:57:41,885 You direct. That's your thing. 622 00:57:42,047 --> 00:57:44,197 I'll be in charge of the production. 623 00:57:44,367 --> 00:57:46,756 It'll be delicious in a stew. 624 00:58:14,847 --> 00:58:16,326 Where did everybody go? 625 00:58:16,487 --> 00:58:18,079 Anywhere but here. 626 00:58:18,247 --> 00:58:21,159 Come on, it's February and you're on the coast. 627 00:58:21,567 --> 00:58:24,923 Sorry if I'm nosy, but why did you come to Torremolinos? 628 00:58:25,807 --> 00:58:28,924 - We're going to make a movie. - You're kidding. Who's in it? 629 00:58:29,087 --> 00:58:31,681 M�ximo Valverde and Carmen Garc�a. 630 00:58:31,847 --> 00:58:34,805 That Carmen, I don't know her but her name sounds familiar. 631 00:58:35,127 --> 00:58:36,606 What's it about? 632 00:58:37,567 --> 00:58:41,037 An attractive millionaire widow decides to stay a few days 633 00:58:41,207 --> 00:58:44,279 in Torremolinos at the hotel where she spent her honeymoon. 634 00:58:44,447 --> 00:58:46,278 In the hotel she meets a mysterious man 635 00:58:46,447 --> 00:58:48,563 who looks just like her dead husband. 636 00:58:49,447 --> 00:58:52,325 I only like movies where Bud Spencer and Terence Hill 637 00:58:52,487 --> 00:58:55,001 beat each other up - ping, pang! Those are good! 638 00:58:55,927 --> 00:58:56,677 The best! 639 00:59:13,807 --> 00:59:16,526 What about you? What are you doing in the movie? 640 00:59:17,447 --> 00:59:20,644 I'm... the director. 641 00:59:22,207 --> 00:59:23,276 Oh, god. 642 00:59:31,487 --> 00:59:32,761 Good evening! 643 00:59:32,967 --> 00:59:34,525 How are you, Carmen? 644 00:59:35,087 --> 00:59:36,520 - Alfredo... - What's up? 645 00:59:36,687 --> 00:59:38,518 - Nice trip? - Very nice, thanks. 646 00:59:38,687 --> 00:59:41,281 Come with me. The boys are anxious to meet you. 647 00:59:41,447 --> 00:59:42,926 Carmen, do you mind? 648 00:59:43,087 --> 00:59:46,318 Carmen, I'll be back in five minutes. Honey, it's the crew... 649 00:59:49,567 --> 00:59:52,525 Look Alfredo, this is Lauritz, the director of photography. 650 00:59:52,767 --> 00:59:53,563 A pleasure. 651 00:59:55,647 --> 00:59:57,285 His assistant, Ole. 652 00:59:59,487 --> 01:00:00,761 A pleasure. 653 01:00:00,927 --> 01:00:02,519 This is Aksel on sound. 654 01:00:03,967 --> 01:00:05,036 And finally, Magnus. 655 01:00:10,207 --> 01:00:11,526 A pleasure. 656 01:00:12,887 --> 01:00:14,764 Carmen, Carmen, is she... 657 01:00:17,047 --> 01:00:19,242 Where Carmen? Carmen! 658 01:00:22,287 --> 01:00:23,322 At the reception desk. 659 01:00:29,567 --> 01:00:30,602 Hi, Alfredo. 660 01:00:30,847 --> 01:00:33,680 Juan Luis. What are you doing here? 661 01:00:34,007 --> 01:00:36,362 Well, here to lend a helping hand. 662 01:00:36,567 --> 01:00:39,081 - What happened to you? - Oh, this? 663 01:00:39,527 --> 01:00:40,926 I fell off a horse. 664 01:00:51,767 --> 01:00:52,802 Thanks. 665 01:00:53,527 --> 01:00:55,563 Here they are. Aren't they great? 666 01:01:06,847 --> 01:01:09,122 Could we speak in private? 667 01:01:10,127 --> 01:01:12,766 It's not necessary, none of them speak Spanish. Tell me. 668 01:01:14,807 --> 01:01:18,766 Then how am I going to explain what I want to do? 669 01:01:20,087 --> 01:01:23,602 Don't worry, they're professionals and they know what to do. 670 01:01:23,767 --> 01:01:24,643 But... 671 01:01:24,807 --> 01:01:27,844 As long as you say "Action" and "Cut", they'll do the rest. 672 01:01:28,007 --> 01:01:29,042 I'm not sure... 673 01:01:29,207 --> 01:01:31,198 That's how co-productions work. Believe me. 674 01:01:31,367 --> 01:01:32,800 What would you like, sir? 675 01:01:33,607 --> 01:01:37,077 - Have a drink. Take it easy. - Nothing, nothing. Thank you. 676 01:01:38,767 --> 01:01:40,678 What about M�ximo Valverde? 677 01:01:41,847 --> 01:01:43,917 We have a little problem. 678 01:01:44,447 --> 01:01:46,722 This morning I received a phone call from his manager, 679 01:01:46,887 --> 01:01:49,242 and he said he's doing Pedro Lazaga's next movie. 680 01:01:50,127 --> 01:01:52,880 He doesn't want to work with beginners... 681 01:01:53,047 --> 01:01:54,560 You know how artists are. 682 01:01:56,967 --> 01:01:58,320 What are we going to do? 683 01:01:58,567 --> 01:02:02,162 We have two options. We cancel the shoot... 684 01:02:02,327 --> 01:02:03,043 No. 685 01:02:03,407 --> 01:02:05,159 Or we look for another actor. 686 01:02:09,967 --> 01:02:10,877 Who? 687 01:02:11,927 --> 01:02:14,600 I thought about Magnus. 688 01:02:15,327 --> 01:02:17,204 - Who? - Magnus. 689 01:02:18,687 --> 01:02:20,040 This is all Torremolinos. 690 01:02:20,207 --> 01:02:23,085 I think he'd be suitable. 691 01:02:27,327 --> 01:02:28,840 Slowly, Carmen. There! 692 01:02:29,007 --> 01:02:31,475 You're alone in the hotel, all right? 693 01:02:31,727 --> 01:02:33,080 But I'm scared! 694 01:02:33,247 --> 01:02:35,807 It's good for the character. Feel the fear, feel it. 695 01:02:35,967 --> 01:02:39,118 We're going to start. Carmen, that's it. Get into position. 696 01:02:43,207 --> 01:02:44,560 Camera! 697 01:02:54,007 --> 01:02:54,996 Now? 698 01:02:55,487 --> 01:02:56,966 Do I jump in now? 699 01:02:58,087 --> 01:02:59,281 Action. 700 01:03:18,367 --> 01:03:21,484 Young lady, you remind me 701 01:03:21,647 --> 01:03:23,205 of the Greek beauties 702 01:03:23,447 --> 01:03:26,245 who dwelled in ancient Olympus. 703 01:03:28,807 --> 01:03:31,037 Your visage is familiar. 704 01:03:32,887 --> 01:03:36,243 Your mysterious presence fascinates and frightens me 705 01:03:36,407 --> 01:03:37,840 at the same time. 706 01:03:38,447 --> 01:03:39,641 Who sent you? 707 01:03:40,127 --> 01:03:41,958 That matters not. 708 01:03:42,567 --> 01:03:45,400 I am here and now. 709 01:03:46,727 --> 01:03:49,287 Do you believe in 710 01:03:49,447 --> 01:03:52,280 a superior and omnipresent being? 711 01:03:54,327 --> 01:03:56,318 Listen to the silence. 712 01:03:58,407 --> 01:04:01,717 It is the kiss of death. 713 01:04:07,847 --> 01:04:08,882 Cut! 714 01:04:15,207 --> 01:04:16,242 One moment, please. 715 01:04:21,487 --> 01:04:23,205 No, Juan Luis, 716 01:04:23,367 --> 01:04:25,881 tell him to pick the carafe, not the mussel. 717 01:04:26,047 --> 01:04:28,003 But, but I've already told him. 718 01:04:28,167 --> 01:04:30,442 Not the mussel, the carafe! Cojones! The carafe. 719 01:04:30,607 --> 01:04:33,599 When Magnus... 720 01:04:34,367 --> 01:04:35,641 picks up the carafe... 721 01:04:35,807 --> 01:04:37,206 Alfredo, they're eating the set! 722 01:04:37,367 --> 01:04:40,120 Panoramic shot... Carmen... 723 01:04:40,287 --> 01:04:42,437 Hey, I'm to delicate 724 01:04:42,607 --> 01:04:45,758 for all this stress. Alfredo! 725 01:04:48,847 --> 01:04:52,283 I don't want to! Cojones! You're a pain in the ass. 726 01:04:56,327 --> 01:04:58,363 Hey Juan Luis, this is a disaster! 727 01:04:59,687 --> 01:05:01,598 I'm exhausted my love... 728 01:05:04,287 --> 01:05:06,642 Hey, I don't know who that Magnus thinks he is. 729 01:05:07,407 --> 01:05:09,318 I have to repeat everything a hundred times. 730 01:05:09,487 --> 01:05:13,082 Poor thing, he tries his best. He had to learn his lines by ear. 731 01:05:13,247 --> 01:05:15,317 Carmen, please. I say he's a phony. 732 01:05:15,967 --> 01:05:18,845 Hey, you talk a lot about Magnus, but what about me? 733 01:05:19,007 --> 01:05:21,043 Anyone would think I wasn't in the movie. 734 01:05:21,367 --> 01:05:22,561 Oh silly! 735 01:05:23,447 --> 01:05:27,201 Come on, now the other foot. That's it. That's it. 736 01:05:27,367 --> 01:05:29,005 That's it. That's it. 737 01:05:31,687 --> 01:05:34,884 What did they tell you at the orphanage? 738 01:05:35,047 --> 01:05:36,924 You haven't even mentioned it. 739 01:05:40,367 --> 01:05:43,598 Alfredo, do you think you could love a child that wasn't yours? 740 01:05:43,927 --> 01:05:45,406 Of course. 741 01:05:48,767 --> 01:05:50,280 What did Don Carlos say? 742 01:05:52,367 --> 01:05:53,641 Nothing. 743 01:06:45,047 --> 01:06:46,685 You are frightened. 744 01:06:46,967 --> 01:06:50,198 Something is struggling inside you. 745 01:06:50,367 --> 01:06:53,484 You have an endless desire for desire. 746 01:07:02,967 --> 01:07:04,480 You never get enough. 747 01:08:07,967 --> 01:08:10,083 Good work, boys! Very good work! 748 01:08:10,247 --> 01:08:12,238 A wonderful, wonderful day. 749 01:08:12,407 --> 01:08:15,717 Tell them that tomorrow 750 01:08:15,887 --> 01:08:18,196 is the end of the movie and the last scene. 751 01:08:23,207 --> 01:08:24,356 The end. 752 01:08:26,767 --> 01:08:28,041 What is he saying? 753 01:08:28,847 --> 01:08:31,361 Fiesta, yes, yes... but tomorrow, okay? 754 01:08:31,527 --> 01:08:35,486 Otherwise you'll go and get plastered. See you tomorrow! 755 01:08:35,647 --> 01:08:38,115 Tonight big bullfight, matador! 756 01:08:38,287 --> 01:08:39,800 I'm no fucking fairy. 757 01:08:40,967 --> 01:08:42,798 - See you tomorrow. - Yes, yes. 758 01:08:47,047 --> 01:08:48,116 Carmen... 759 01:08:50,527 --> 01:08:51,801 You've been fantastic. 760 01:08:54,487 --> 01:08:56,284 You mean it, my love? 761 01:08:56,447 --> 01:08:57,675 - Excuse me. - Yes? 762 01:08:57,847 --> 01:08:59,280 Can we meet at the bar? 763 01:08:59,447 --> 01:09:01,165 I want to discuss a few small changes 764 01:09:01,327 --> 01:09:02,885 in tomorrow's shooting schedule. 765 01:09:03,047 --> 01:09:04,196 Sure, Don Carlos. 766 01:09:04,367 --> 01:09:07,040 Well then, I'm going upstairs. I'm not feeling well. 767 01:09:07,207 --> 01:09:08,481 - You're not? - No. 768 01:09:08,647 --> 01:09:11,161 I'm very proud of you, my director. 769 01:09:13,247 --> 01:09:15,317 - Bye. - I'll be up in five minutes. 770 01:09:16,087 --> 01:09:18,726 Congratulations, Alfredo. The shoot is a great success. 771 01:09:18,887 --> 01:09:21,606 - I think we've got a winner here. - Thanks. 772 01:09:21,927 --> 01:09:25,203 With your permission, I made a few script changes... 773 01:09:25,367 --> 01:09:27,835 As you can see, the dialogue is the same. 774 01:09:28,007 --> 01:09:30,521 I only changed the action in the last scene. 775 01:09:44,087 --> 01:09:45,679 This isn't what we agreed. 776 01:09:46,607 --> 01:09:48,563 You didn't say anything about this... 777 01:09:49,527 --> 01:09:51,802 About what? What did I say? 778 01:09:52,687 --> 01:09:55,201 That you were going to direct "Torremolinos 73". 779 01:09:55,607 --> 01:09:57,165 Well, you're doing it. 780 01:09:57,687 --> 01:10:00,201 We're shooting in black and white as you wanted. 781 01:10:01,447 --> 01:10:03,961 Don't be naive. Alfredo... 782 01:10:04,807 --> 01:10:07,446 If we didn't spice up the movie 783 01:10:08,047 --> 01:10:09,799 with some sex 784 01:10:10,287 --> 01:10:13,006 and make a version for the international market, 785 01:10:13,167 --> 01:10:15,317 do you think I'd get my money back? 786 01:10:17,127 --> 01:10:19,641 - What about M�ximo Valverde...? - What M�ximo? 787 01:10:19,807 --> 01:10:21,320 Carmen is the star. 788 01:10:21,727 --> 01:10:25,436 She's become a sex symbol in Scandinavia... 789 01:10:27,367 --> 01:10:29,722 - Did you know? - No. 790 01:10:30,527 --> 01:10:32,882 Besides, if you'll notice, 791 01:10:34,007 --> 01:10:36,441 the script required only a few insignificant changes. 792 01:10:37,647 --> 01:10:38,875 Your script! 793 01:10:40,687 --> 01:10:41,756 All right? 794 01:10:43,007 --> 01:10:44,520 Now you go and rest. 795 01:10:44,687 --> 01:10:47,247 Tomorrow at seven o'clock in the cafe. 796 01:11:55,367 --> 01:11:56,402 Alfredo, 797 01:11:57,487 --> 01:11:59,205 get in the water! 798 01:12:06,967 --> 01:12:08,798 Do you know how to say 799 01:12:08,967 --> 01:12:12,482 underpants in Danish or Swedish? 800 01:12:13,287 --> 01:12:15,403 Come on, smartasses! Sissy, you nancy boy... 801 01:12:15,607 --> 01:12:17,120 Skivvie-navian! 802 01:12:22,367 --> 01:12:24,005 Good day, Alfredo. 803 01:12:29,887 --> 01:12:32,845 I enjoy really work with you 804 01:12:33,007 --> 01:12:33,962 and Carmen. 805 01:12:39,807 --> 01:12:42,321 Tomorrow big day for me. 806 01:13:05,967 --> 01:13:06,558 What? 807 01:13:23,567 --> 01:13:25,000 No, no, no... 808 01:13:27,047 --> 01:13:28,924 Shit... 809 01:14:16,447 --> 01:14:17,562 Yes? 810 01:14:20,447 --> 01:14:21,675 All ready? 811 01:14:22,687 --> 01:14:23,642 Thank you. 812 01:14:27,527 --> 01:14:28,676 Carmen. 813 01:14:32,247 --> 01:14:33,043 Carmen? 814 01:14:49,087 --> 01:14:51,555 When did you get back? I was worried. 815 01:14:56,807 --> 01:14:58,240 Carmen, listen to me. 816 01:14:58,527 --> 01:15:00,199 Madam, something else? 817 01:15:00,367 --> 01:15:02,517 Cakes, pies, pastry, rolls, 818 01:15:02,687 --> 01:15:03,802 donuts, danish... 819 01:15:03,967 --> 01:15:05,286 No. Nothing, thank you. 820 01:15:05,927 --> 01:15:06,962 And you, sir? 821 01:15:07,487 --> 01:15:09,045 Nothing, thank you. 822 01:15:09,207 --> 01:15:11,562 If you sit you must order something. 823 01:15:13,647 --> 01:15:14,796 With all these empty tables? 824 01:15:14,967 --> 01:15:16,923 Complain to the manager. Those are the rules. 825 01:15:17,087 --> 01:15:19,078 You can stick the rules up your... 826 01:15:19,247 --> 01:15:20,965 - Sorry, but I wasn't rude. - Just leave, please? 827 01:15:21,127 --> 01:15:22,037 Bring him some coffee. 828 01:15:27,847 --> 01:15:29,405 You don't look well, Alfredo. 829 01:15:32,207 --> 01:15:33,959 We're going back to Madrid. 830 01:15:35,967 --> 01:15:37,958 Pack up your things. We're leaving. 831 01:15:40,207 --> 01:15:42,562 Don Carlos has made some changes in the script 832 01:15:43,007 --> 01:15:44,565 that you're not going to like. 833 01:15:48,407 --> 01:15:49,522 These? 834 01:15:50,367 --> 01:15:51,117 Yes. 835 01:15:52,527 --> 01:15:53,721 Why do you have them? 836 01:15:55,247 --> 01:15:58,045 Because... because I'm going to do it. 837 01:15:58,967 --> 01:15:59,877 What? 838 01:16:00,927 --> 01:16:03,236 What are you talking about? Are you crazy? 839 01:16:05,927 --> 01:16:07,918 You want to finish your movie... 840 01:16:09,447 --> 01:16:11,005 and I want to have a baby... 841 01:16:11,887 --> 01:16:12,637 What? 842 01:16:13,767 --> 01:16:15,405 I want to have a baby. 843 01:16:24,087 --> 01:16:25,679 You can't have children. 844 01:16:26,167 --> 01:16:27,395 Yes I can. 845 01:16:40,327 --> 01:16:41,806 Let's go! 846 01:16:56,287 --> 01:16:58,323 Good morning, how are you doing? 847 01:16:59,047 --> 01:17:01,481 We're going back to Madrid. Sorry. We quit. 848 01:17:01,647 --> 01:17:04,525 You're going back? Why? You want more money? 849 01:17:05,447 --> 01:17:06,243 No. 850 01:17:06,447 --> 01:17:07,436 Then what? 851 01:17:08,367 --> 01:17:10,244 Carmen, I kept my promise. 852 01:17:10,407 --> 01:17:11,999 Your husband is finishing the movie 853 01:17:12,167 --> 01:17:14,362 and now it's your turn. All right? 854 01:17:15,087 --> 01:17:18,204 Alfredo, I called Erik. It's understandable 855 01:17:18,367 --> 01:17:20,517 - that you don't want to do it. - Good. We're leaving. 856 01:17:20,687 --> 01:17:22,439 Hey! It'll be thirty pesetas. 857 01:17:22,607 --> 01:17:24,359 Leave me alone! You see we're talking? 858 01:17:24,527 --> 01:17:26,438 - You're leaving without paying! - Here. 859 01:17:28,287 --> 01:17:31,085 - Fine, I'll bring you the change. - No. Keep it. 860 01:17:34,607 --> 01:17:35,642 Carmen! 861 01:17:50,367 --> 01:17:51,243 Carmen! 862 01:17:52,727 --> 01:17:53,955 Carmen! 863 01:17:55,727 --> 01:17:56,796 Carmen! 864 01:17:58,127 --> 01:17:59,401 Carmen! 865 01:18:03,607 --> 01:18:04,926 Carmen! 866 01:18:05,727 --> 01:18:06,796 Alfredo! 867 01:18:16,887 --> 01:18:18,525 Carmen undresses, 868 01:18:19,567 --> 01:18:20,966 Marcus too... 869 01:18:21,127 --> 01:18:24,517 and they both face each other... naked. 870 01:18:28,927 --> 01:18:29,803 What this camera for? 871 01:18:29,967 --> 01:18:32,959 For the close-up... the money shot. 872 01:18:40,887 --> 01:18:43,082 This is going to look like this, all right? 873 01:18:43,767 --> 01:18:44,643 Yes. 874 01:18:58,607 --> 01:19:00,404 Carmen, we have to start! 875 01:19:13,247 --> 01:19:14,726 Carmen, 876 01:19:14,887 --> 01:19:18,766 when I say "Action" you go to Magnus and say the lines. 877 01:19:26,007 --> 01:19:28,316 When Magnus says: "I am Death 878 01:19:28,487 --> 01:19:30,876 and I have come to take you with your husband", 879 01:19:31,367 --> 01:19:33,927 stop whatever you're doing 880 01:19:34,447 --> 01:19:38,440 and let him do what he has to do. 881 01:19:38,607 --> 01:19:39,642 Do you understand? 882 01:19:40,167 --> 01:19:41,520 Okay, let's go! 883 01:19:48,687 --> 01:19:49,642 Everybody in position. 884 01:19:53,847 --> 01:19:54,916 Sound! 885 01:19:57,087 --> 01:19:58,122 Camera! 886 01:20:14,047 --> 01:20:15,196 Action! 887 01:20:17,287 --> 01:20:18,276 Marga... 888 01:20:19,767 --> 01:20:20,802 Marga, Marga... 889 01:20:21,807 --> 01:20:24,640 I thought we'd never see each other again. 890 01:20:26,087 --> 01:20:27,440 It's destiny. 891 01:20:27,927 --> 01:20:30,316 You're not real. You're a specter... 892 01:20:30,487 --> 01:20:33,763 You exist only in my imagination. Keep away from me! 893 01:20:48,207 --> 01:20:49,720 You're sublime. 894 01:20:52,407 --> 01:20:54,637 You are metaphysical sin, 895 01:20:55,167 --> 01:20:57,203 the temptation beyond the grave. 896 01:20:57,887 --> 01:20:59,798 I can no longer resist. 897 01:22:18,967 --> 01:22:22,596 I am Death and I have come to take you 898 01:22:22,767 --> 01:22:24,041 with your husband. 899 01:22:26,287 --> 01:22:27,686 I am Death... 900 01:22:27,847 --> 01:22:30,600 and I have come to take you with your husband. 901 01:22:32,087 --> 01:22:33,076 I am... 902 01:22:48,047 --> 01:22:49,196 Cut. 903 01:22:54,047 --> 01:22:55,116 Action. 904 01:22:55,767 --> 01:22:56,756 Maruja, 905 01:22:57,327 --> 01:22:59,477 I love you more than yesterday but less than tomorrow. 906 01:22:59,687 --> 01:23:03,475 That's the most beautiful thing I ever heard. 907 01:23:05,727 --> 01:23:07,046 Cut, cut, cut. 908 01:23:08,847 --> 01:23:11,077 You need to be more natural. You're stiff. 909 01:23:11,767 --> 01:23:13,280 That was the seventh take. 910 01:23:13,447 --> 01:23:14,960 Come on, here we go again. 911 01:23:15,727 --> 01:23:17,718 Come on, hurry up... 912 01:23:17,887 --> 01:23:19,445 You have to cut the wedding cake. 913 01:23:19,607 --> 01:23:20,562 We've got to go! 914 01:23:23,327 --> 01:23:27,605 Happy birthday to you 915 01:23:27,767 --> 01:23:31,726 Happy birthday to you 916 01:23:31,887 --> 01:23:36,244 Your mommy and dad wish 917 01:23:36,407 --> 01:23:39,956 Happy birthday to you 918 01:23:41,567 --> 01:23:43,319 Who blew out the candles? 919 01:23:46,687 --> 01:23:48,518 Marisol, darling, you have to wait 920 01:23:48,687 --> 01:23:50,200 until daddy says "Action"! 921 01:23:50,887 --> 01:23:52,559 Alfredo, she's just a little girl. 922 01:23:52,767 --> 01:23:54,405 Shirley Temple was a little girl too. 923 01:23:54,567 --> 01:23:57,240 Wait until I say "Action", okay? 924 01:23:57,407 --> 01:23:59,398 Come on, blow them out! Blow! 925 01:23:59,927 --> 01:24:00,518 Action! 926 01:24:00,687 --> 01:24:01,403 Blow! 927 01:24:02,807 --> 01:24:04,479 Well done! 928 01:24:05,687 --> 01:24:07,484 - Okay. - Look! 929 01:24:08,727 --> 01:24:09,876 Cut! 930 01:24:11,727 --> 01:24:13,285 Look! Look! 931 01:24:14,887 --> 01:24:16,878 "Torremolinos 73" was the only feature film directed by Alfredo L�pez. 932 01:24:17,047 --> 01:24:19,561 In 1 9 7 7 it was shown under the title "The Adventures 933 01:24:19,727 --> 01:24:22,082 of a Horny Widow", rated X. Only 1373 spectators saw it in Spain 934 01:24:22,247 --> 01:24:23,839 but it was a box office smash in Scandinavia. 65326

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