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1
00:00:03,419 --> 00:00:05,354
(GRAND ORCHESTRAL FANFARE
PLAYING)
2
00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:13,074
Everyone is intimidated by a shark. Become
a Card Shark AMERICASCARDROOM.COM
3
00:00:26,176 --> 00:00:28,110
("SO FRESH, SO CLEAN"
BY OUTKAST PLAYING)
4
00:00:28,112 --> 00:00:31,179
5
00:00:31,181 --> 00:00:33,982
♪ Ain't nobody dope as me
6
00:00:33,984 --> 00:00:35,983
♪ I'm dressed so fresh,
so clean ♪
7
00:00:35,985 --> 00:00:37,785
♪ So fresh
and so clean, clean ♪
8
00:00:37,787 --> 00:00:39,854
♪ Don't you think
I'm so sexy? ♪
9
00:00:39,856 --> 00:00:41,889
♪ I'm dressed so fresh,
so clean... ♪
10
00:00:41,891 --> 00:00:44,425
TEDDY:
Oh, my God!
11
00:00:44,427 --> 00:00:46,427
Come on. Man!
12
00:00:46,429 --> 00:00:47,962
♪ I'm dressed so fresh,
so clean... ♪
13
00:00:47,964 --> 00:00:50,598
(MUTTERS, GROANS)
14
00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:51,999
I don't know this stuff.
15
00:00:52,001 --> 00:00:53,433
That's not even close.
16
00:00:53,435 --> 00:00:55,502
No.
17
00:00:55,504 --> 00:00:57,205
WOMAN:
Teddy! Dinner, baby!
18
00:00:57,207 --> 00:00:59,640
Your father's waiting!
19
00:00:59,642 --> 00:01:03,744
♪ Created in the attic,
we are the coolest mother... ♪
20
00:01:03,746 --> 00:01:05,746
What do you mean,
you're protesting
21
00:01:05,748 --> 00:01:07,514
the State Achievement Test?
22
00:01:07,516 --> 00:01:10,085
Sounds like someone's
unprepared.
23
00:01:10,087 --> 00:01:11,719
- I am prepared.
- Mmm.
24
00:01:11,721 --> 00:01:13,120
To take a stand.
25
00:01:13,122 --> 00:01:14,588
Pops, those standardized tests
26
00:01:14,590 --> 00:01:16,190
are culturally biased.
27
00:01:16,192 --> 00:01:19,094
They want me to calculate
the average number of manatees
28
00:01:19,096 --> 00:01:20,761
that are in Florida.
29
00:01:20,763 --> 00:01:21,662
What does that have to do
30
00:01:21,664 --> 00:01:23,764
with the African-American
experience?
31
00:01:23,766 --> 00:01:25,532
You hear that, Gladys?
32
00:01:25,534 --> 00:01:27,635
We got Minister Louis Farrakhan
at the table.
33
00:01:27,637 --> 00:01:29,736
- (CHUCKLING)
- You know what, Teddy?
34
00:01:29,738 --> 00:01:31,039
The last time I checked,
35
00:01:31,041 --> 00:01:33,474
your twin sister Denise here
is black,
36
00:01:33,476 --> 00:01:36,610
and she pulled a 1500
on the practice test.
37
00:01:36,612 --> 00:01:39,512
- It was actually a 1540, Daddy.
- Ah!
38
00:01:39,514 --> 00:01:42,117
You go, girl. That's my baby.
(LAUGHING)
39
00:01:42,119 --> 00:01:44,818
Just doing what I do best...
outshining Teddy's butt.
40
00:01:44,820 --> 00:01:46,553
(DENISE LAUGHING)
41
00:01:46,555 --> 00:01:48,923
What's this really all about,
Teddy Bear?
42
00:01:48,925 --> 00:01:50,059
Hmm?
43
00:01:51,794 --> 00:01:54,095
Do you need help?
44
00:01:54,097 --> 00:01:56,699
Is that what this is all about?
45
00:01:58,868 --> 00:02:00,267
I don't know, Mommy.
46
00:02:00,269 --> 00:02:02,036
I mean...
47
00:02:02,038 --> 00:02:04,206
maybe I do need help.
48
00:02:06,075 --> 00:02:08,742
Help yourself
to the goddamn study book.
49
00:02:08,744 --> 00:02:11,912
Hell, you get 400 points
just for signing your name.
50
00:02:11,914 --> 00:02:14,148
You do know how to spell
your name, don't you?
51
00:02:14,150 --> 00:02:16,283
- T-H-E... What?
- (IMITATING BUZZER)
52
00:02:16,285 --> 00:02:17,583
You're wrong.
53
00:02:17,585 --> 00:02:18,721
Ain't no "H" in my name.
54
00:02:21,524 --> 00:02:23,491
She's spelling your legal name.
55
00:02:24,626 --> 00:02:26,193
"Theodore."
56
00:02:26,195 --> 00:02:28,528
Well, there goes
those 400 points.
57
00:02:28,530 --> 00:02:30,998
She like a Chinese boy
at school.
58
00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:32,766
FATHER:
Shut your pie hole!
59
00:02:32,768 --> 00:02:35,638
("EYE OF THE TIGER"
BY SURVIVOR PLAYING)
60
00:02:37,806 --> 00:02:39,075
Everyone take a seat.
61
00:02:45,948 --> 00:02:49,051
(WHISPERING):
T-H-E...
62
00:02:55,191 --> 00:02:58,792
(GRUNTING MELODY
OF "EYE OF THE TIGER")
63
00:02:58,794 --> 00:03:01,228
Don't even look at him.
Stewart's an asshole.
64
00:03:01,230 --> 00:03:04,964
Okay, students, please break
the seal on your test books
65
00:03:04,966 --> 00:03:06,102
and begin.
66
00:03:07,703 --> 00:03:09,271
♪
67
00:03:17,612 --> 00:03:18,247
(GRUNTS)
68
00:03:19,315 --> 00:03:20,816
(GRUNTS)
69
00:03:27,889 --> 00:03:30,593
(GRUNTING)
70
00:03:31,727 --> 00:03:33,129
(GRUNTS, SHOUTS)
71
00:03:37,966 --> 00:03:39,165
Done.
72
00:03:39,167 --> 00:03:40,733
You finished the whole test?
73
00:03:40,735 --> 00:03:42,302
No, I'm done with this.
74
00:03:42,304 --> 00:03:44,071
I'm finished!
75
00:03:44,073 --> 00:03:45,772
Do I look like a sheep
to you, Marv?
76
00:03:45,774 --> 00:03:47,207
No.
77
00:03:47,209 --> 00:03:49,008
You all can continue
to be sheep.
78
00:03:49,010 --> 00:03:50,643
I'm not gonna be
nobody's sheep.
79
00:03:50,645 --> 00:03:51,711
Mr. Walker.
80
00:03:51,713 --> 00:03:52,945
(BLEATING)
81
00:03:52,947 --> 00:03:55,049
- (LAUGHS)
- I don't know how
82
00:03:55,051 --> 00:03:57,217
to make the noise, but you know
what I'm trying to say.
83
00:03:57,219 --> 00:03:58,718
Y'all can keep falling
for the...
84
00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:00,753
for the man's plan
if you want to,
85
00:04:00,755 --> 00:04:03,222
but y'all gonna end up
in stupid student debt.
86
00:04:03,224 --> 00:04:05,091
You look like bad credit
already.
87
00:04:05,093 --> 00:04:06,794
- (LAUGHING)
- This whole section right here
88
00:04:06,796 --> 00:04:10,663
reeks of Discover cards,
with your broke ass.
89
00:04:10,665 --> 00:04:12,366
I'm gonna be a winner.
I'm gonna succeed
90
00:04:12,368 --> 00:04:15,368
in the school of life,
doing real stuff.
91
00:04:15,370 --> 00:04:17,103
I'm gonna get me
a real fly car,
92
00:04:17,105 --> 00:04:18,872
and I'm gonna have me
a nice girl.
93
00:04:18,874 --> 00:04:19,973
Y'all ain't gonna make it.
94
00:04:19,975 --> 00:04:21,674
Ted, get out!
95
00:04:21,676 --> 00:04:22,975
Denise got hair on her titties.
96
00:04:22,977 --> 00:04:24,210
- (GASPING)
- Cat's out of the bag.
97
00:04:24,212 --> 00:04:25,378
Get out!
You're embarrassing us!
98
00:04:25,380 --> 00:04:26,813
TEDDY:
Y'all some sheep!
99
00:04:26,815 --> 00:04:28,014
Y'all sheep!
100
00:04:28,016 --> 00:04:29,714
In your face!
101
00:04:29,716 --> 00:04:31,751
Ha-ha, stupid.
102
00:04:31,753 --> 00:04:33,253
Now I'm gonna be rolling
in the dough.
103
00:04:33,255 --> 00:04:34,254
- (LAUGHS)
- (TEDDY BLEATING)
104
00:04:34,256 --> 00:04:35,822
And by the way, Denise...
105
00:04:35,824 --> 00:04:37,356
I think Denise
has incredible titties.
106
00:04:37,358 --> 00:04:39,392
Marv, shut up!
107
00:04:39,394 --> 00:04:41,327
♪ Hey, Jim, you know
them old sugar daddies ♪
108
00:04:41,329 --> 00:04:43,063
♪ They be trickin',
they tell them girls ♪
109
00:04:43,065 --> 00:04:44,398
♪ I said you could have
110
00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:45,998
♪ Whatever you like,
if you like ♪
111
00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:47,334
♪ I said you could have
112
00:04:47,336 --> 00:04:49,368
♪ Whatever you like,
if you like ♪
113
00:04:49,370 --> 00:04:51,771
♪ Yeah, yeah, stacks on deck
114
00:04:51,773 --> 00:04:53,705
♪ Patrón on ice
115
00:04:53,707 --> 00:04:55,442
♪ And we can pop bottles
all night ♪
116
00:04:55,444 --> 00:04:57,043
♪ And, baby, you could have
117
00:04:57,045 --> 00:04:58,878
♪ Whatever you like,
if you like ♪
118
00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:00,213
♪ I said you could have
119
00:05:00,215 --> 00:05:02,215
♪ Whatever you like,
if you like ♪
120
00:05:02,217 --> 00:05:06,986
♪ Yeah, baby, I could treat you
so special, so nice ♪
121
00:05:06,988 --> 00:05:09,188
♪ Gas up a jet for you tonight
and, baby, you could go ♪
122
00:05:09,190 --> 00:05:11,791
♪ Wherever you like,
if you like ♪
123
00:05:11,793 --> 00:05:13,226
♪ I said you could have
124
00:05:13,228 --> 00:05:15,729
♪ Whatever you like,
if you like, yeah ♪
125
00:05:17,198 --> 00:05:19,466
♪ Any time you want to,
pick up the telephone ♪
126
00:05:19,468 --> 00:05:22,101
♪ You know it ain't nothin'
to drop a couple stacks... ♪
127
00:05:22,103 --> 00:05:24,403
This project
has taken over my life.
128
00:05:24,405 --> 00:05:26,805
- Come on.
- God, I can't wait to sleep.
129
00:05:26,807 --> 00:05:27,974
Come here.
130
00:05:27,976 --> 00:05:29,708
- Thank you, baby.
- No problem.
131
00:05:29,710 --> 00:05:32,278
Oh, I'm so nervous
about tonight.
132
00:05:32,280 --> 00:05:33,480
Thank God you're coming.
133
00:05:33,482 --> 00:05:35,114
Why are you nervous?
134
00:05:35,116 --> 00:05:36,382
Lis, you did an amazing job.
135
00:05:36,384 --> 00:05:37,283
You're gonna kill this.
136
00:05:37,285 --> 00:05:39,751
Gonna be the hottest spot
in Atlanta.
137
00:05:39,753 --> 00:05:40,952
(SIGHS) Okay.
138
00:05:40,954 --> 00:05:44,023
Will, uh...
will the lovely Maya
139
00:05:44,025 --> 00:05:45,758
be joining us
this evening as well?
140
00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:47,493
I don't like him.
141
00:05:47,495 --> 00:05:49,162
Chef Clemont
invited my entire team
142
00:05:49,164 --> 00:05:51,130
to dinner tonight,
so be nice, okay?
143
00:05:51,132 --> 00:05:53,199
- Yes.
- Maybe try to compliment her.
144
00:05:53,201 --> 00:05:55,268
- Okay.
- Love you.
145
00:05:55,270 --> 00:05:57,303
- Okay. Bye.
- Love you. Have a good day.
146
00:05:57,305 --> 00:05:58,471
Hey, Maya!
147
00:05:58,473 --> 00:06:00,406
Hey, Teddy.
148
00:06:00,408 --> 00:06:02,275
Somebody looks
extremely attractive today.
149
00:06:02,277 --> 00:06:03,842
Thank you.
150
00:06:03,844 --> 00:06:05,478
Not that I'm looking at you
the same way
151
00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:07,481
I look at my woman,
because I wouldn't do that.
152
00:06:07,483 --> 00:06:09,382
Let's just go. Let's go.
153
00:06:09,384 --> 00:06:11,783
- I love the weave!
- Teddy!
154
00:06:11,785 --> 00:06:13,519
Or the wig. Whichever...
155
00:06:13,521 --> 00:06:14,819
This is my hair.
156
00:06:14,821 --> 00:06:16,188
- You did that, boo.
- Stop.
157
00:06:16,190 --> 00:06:17,822
I'm just going to stop.
158
00:06:17,824 --> 00:06:18,991
You get what I'm trying to do.
159
00:06:18,993 --> 00:06:19,992
He's jealous of your beauty.
160
00:06:19,994 --> 00:06:21,294
I blew it.
161
00:06:21,296 --> 00:06:22,997
I definitely blew that.
162
00:06:24,898 --> 00:06:27,233
♪ I got a new spring
in my step... ♪
163
00:06:27,235 --> 00:06:28,367
- Oh, look, there's Teddy.
- (HORN HONKS)
164
00:06:28,369 --> 00:06:29,834
- Teddy!
- Yo, Teddy!
165
00:06:29,836 --> 00:06:31,971
♪ It's looking pretty good
166
00:06:31,973 --> 00:06:34,173
♪ Up ahead...
167
00:06:34,175 --> 00:06:36,142
My name is Teddy,
and I am here to make
168
00:06:36,144 --> 00:06:37,443
your barbecue dreams come true.
169
00:06:37,445 --> 00:06:39,445
Now, Esther,
you're a small woman,
170
00:06:39,447 --> 00:06:41,179
but I know you have
a big heart,
171
00:06:41,181 --> 00:06:43,516
which is why I recommend
the Big Steel for you.
172
00:06:43,518 --> 00:06:45,551
Not a lot of women
can take this much steel,
173
00:06:45,553 --> 00:06:46,986
- but I know you can.
- Mmm!
174
00:06:46,988 --> 00:06:49,087
The Pitbull, huh?
175
00:06:49,089 --> 00:06:51,122
¿Como te llamas?
Me llamo Pitbull.
176
00:06:51,124 --> 00:06:53,525
¡Dale! (CHUCKLES)
177
00:06:53,527 --> 00:06:55,194
You're not Spanish, are you?
178
00:06:55,196 --> 00:06:57,129
I can see it in your eyes,
Morris.
179
00:06:57,131 --> 00:06:58,531
But I can also tell
that your wife...
180
00:06:58,533 --> 00:07:00,168
you know, your wife
isn't on the same page.
181
00:07:01,536 --> 00:07:03,268
I mean, it's not
like she completely
182
00:07:03,270 --> 00:07:04,869
controls the purse strings.
183
00:07:04,871 --> 00:07:07,106
(CAR HORN HONKING)
184
00:07:07,108 --> 00:07:09,075
Enjoy it.
185
00:07:09,077 --> 00:07:11,009
Don't you let me down.
186
00:07:11,011 --> 00:07:12,210
(CLAPPING)
187
00:07:12,212 --> 00:07:13,346
(LAUGHS)
188
00:07:13,348 --> 00:07:15,347
You better stop it, man.
189
00:07:15,349 --> 00:07:16,381
Don't you start that.
190
00:07:16,383 --> 00:07:18,050
That was a master class.
191
00:07:18,052 --> 00:07:20,019
I couldn't get Bobby Flay
to buy that beast.
192
00:07:20,021 --> 00:07:22,087
You know what?
Once I saw the man purse,
193
00:07:22,089 --> 00:07:24,089
the guy was putty in my hands.
He really was.
194
00:07:24,091 --> 00:07:25,123
(BOTH LAUGHING)
195
00:07:25,125 --> 00:07:26,925
Teddy, I just want you to know
196
00:07:26,927 --> 00:07:29,361
you are like the son
I never had.
197
00:07:29,363 --> 00:07:31,399
Well, I mean, come on,
you got Joe Junior.
198
00:07:33,501 --> 00:07:35,368
Well, yeah,
but he's the son I do have,
199
00:07:35,370 --> 00:07:37,570
and I'm just not
all that crazy about it.
200
00:07:37,572 --> 00:07:39,237
I mean, look at him.
201
00:07:39,239 --> 00:07:42,141
But my point is this...
all those years ago,
202
00:07:42,143 --> 00:07:44,610
I took a chance
on a pimply-faced teenager.
203
00:07:44,612 --> 00:07:47,212
My little Gary Coleman.
204
00:07:47,214 --> 00:07:48,614
My little Webster.
205
00:07:48,616 --> 00:07:52,050
And it turned out great
for both of us.
206
00:07:52,052 --> 00:07:55,123
So I've decided,
when I retire...
207
00:07:56,491 --> 00:07:58,591
I'm turning Barbecue City...
208
00:07:58,593 --> 00:08:01,926
over... to you.
209
00:08:01,928 --> 00:08:03,595
Excuse me?
210
00:08:03,597 --> 00:08:05,330
- What?
- (CHUCKLING)
211
00:08:05,332 --> 00:08:07,233
Uh, don't-don't shit me.
212
00:08:07,235 --> 00:08:08,334
I'm serious.
213
00:08:08,336 --> 00:08:10,001
Oh, my God, Joe.
214
00:08:10,003 --> 00:08:11,403
I just got-got goose bumps.
215
00:08:11,405 --> 00:08:13,872
- Yes!
- I got goose bumps all over.
216
00:08:13,874 --> 00:08:15,373
I don't know what to say, man.
Thank you.
217
00:08:15,375 --> 00:08:17,108
No. Thank you...
218
00:08:17,110 --> 00:08:18,477
son.
219
00:08:18,479 --> 00:08:20,646
What you talkin' 'bout, Joe?
220
00:08:20,648 --> 00:08:22,881
- (LAUGHING)
- You gotta come here, Mr. Drummond.
221
00:08:22,883 --> 00:08:23,917
Come here.
222
00:08:25,118 --> 00:08:27,054
JOE:
All yours, Teddy.
223
00:08:28,455 --> 00:08:29,988
- What do you think?
- Oh...
224
00:08:29,990 --> 00:08:31,590
(CHUCKLES) It's amazing.
225
00:08:31,592 --> 00:08:32,525
- Really?
- Yeah.
226
00:08:32,527 --> 00:08:34,993
But as your unofficial
financial advisor,
227
00:08:34,995 --> 00:08:36,294
I'm obligated to tell you
228
00:08:36,296 --> 00:08:38,296
that this ring is way out
of your budget.
229
00:08:38,298 --> 00:08:39,564
Relax.
230
00:08:39,566 --> 00:08:40,598
Lisa's cool as hell.
231
00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:42,000
She knows who you are.
232
00:08:42,002 --> 00:08:43,636
Lisa does not know who I am.
233
00:08:43,638 --> 00:08:46,338
Lisa knows that I'm
a successful barbecue salesman.
234
00:08:46,340 --> 00:08:48,173
Marvin knows that Teddy's
a high school dropout
235
00:08:48,175 --> 00:08:50,208
that's living
paycheck to paycheck
236
00:08:50,210 --> 00:08:52,243
'cause I'm with a woman that's
way above my weight class.
237
00:08:52,245 --> 00:08:54,613
Your life is built
on a financial house of cards.
238
00:08:54,615 --> 00:08:56,649
- Stop it.
- The Porsche, the duplex.
239
00:08:56,651 --> 00:08:58,684
What are you trying to prove?
240
00:08:58,686 --> 00:09:00,185
Plus, every single time
we go out,
241
00:09:00,187 --> 00:09:01,553
she offers to pay
for the check.
242
00:09:01,555 --> 00:09:03,254
The day that I let her
put down her plastic
243
00:09:03,256 --> 00:09:04,422
is the day that I lose her.
244
00:09:04,424 --> 00:09:06,692
- And you know that.
- I don't know why I was so nervous.
245
00:09:06,694 --> 00:09:08,093
- LISA: It's coming together.
- Hey.
246
00:09:08,095 --> 00:09:09,627
- Hi.
- Lisa.
247
00:09:09,629 --> 00:09:11,463
- Hi!
- Bienvenue.
248
00:09:11,465 --> 00:09:14,366
Dude, Lisa's the best thing
that ever happened to me.
249
00:09:14,368 --> 00:09:17,134
I don't want to mess
this one up, man.
250
00:09:17,136 --> 00:09:19,003
- (LAUGHING): I told them.
- He did.
251
00:09:19,005 --> 00:09:20,271
- (LAUGHTER)
- He actually said that.
252
00:09:20,273 --> 00:09:21,706
- Ooh.
- Look at that.
253
00:09:21,708 --> 00:09:23,041
- That looks amazing.
- Some dessert.
254
00:09:23,043 --> 00:09:24,242
- Wow.
- Wow. Thank you.
255
00:09:24,244 --> 00:09:26,211
- Mmm. - Thank you so much.
- WAITER: Chef Clemont also said
256
00:09:26,213 --> 00:09:27,412
that there will be no check.
257
00:09:27,414 --> 00:09:29,647
This is all on him.
258
00:09:29,649 --> 00:09:31,516
- Wow.
- LISA: I knew he would try this.
259
00:09:31,518 --> 00:09:33,518
You know what?
Tell him I appreciate it,
260
00:09:33,520 --> 00:09:35,120
- but I insist on paying.
- Okay.
261
00:09:35,122 --> 00:09:36,454
- Yeah.
- Okay, well, just wait.
262
00:09:36,456 --> 00:09:38,323
Well, hold on, now, honey.
263
00:09:38,325 --> 00:09:39,457
Honey, you don't want
to offend him.
264
00:09:39,459 --> 00:09:41,058
You're his guest, right?
265
00:09:41,060 --> 00:09:42,527
Trust me, you never take
a free meal from a client.
266
00:09:42,529 --> 00:09:43,661
That way,
you don't owe them anything.
267
00:09:43,663 --> 00:09:45,263
- That's true.
- Thank you, Lisa.
268
00:09:45,265 --> 00:09:46,364
- I appreciate it.
- You know.
269
00:09:46,366 --> 00:09:47,532
- Um...
- WAITER: Whenever you're ready.
270
00:09:47,534 --> 00:09:49,066
LISA:
Thank you.
271
00:09:49,068 --> 00:09:50,635
You know what?
You know what, then, baby?
272
00:09:50,637 --> 00:09:52,136
If that's the case,
sweetie, then let me...
273
00:09:52,138 --> 00:09:53,504
No. Baby, this is my thing.
274
00:09:53,506 --> 00:09:55,340
There's like eight of us.
I got it.
275
00:09:55,342 --> 00:09:57,142
- You can probably write it off, right?
- Yes.
276
00:09:57,144 --> 00:09:59,344
I didn't think about that.
It is a business expense.
277
00:09:59,346 --> 00:10:00,612
- Okay. - LISA: Yeah.
- Come on.
278
00:10:00,614 --> 00:10:02,045
MAYA: W-W-Wait, wait.
Hold-hold up, Lis.
279
00:10:02,047 --> 00:10:04,448
It is a business expense,
but, Lis...
280
00:10:04,450 --> 00:10:06,418
it's clear that Teddy
really wants to treat.
281
00:10:06,420 --> 00:10:10,188
We're all here celebrating you,
so let him.
282
00:10:10,190 --> 00:10:11,489
(TEDDY SIGHS QUIETLY)
283
00:10:11,491 --> 00:10:13,223
Right, Teddy?
284
00:10:13,225 --> 00:10:14,692
(CHUCKLES) Yes.
285
00:10:14,694 --> 00:10:15,760
Wow.
286
00:10:15,762 --> 00:10:18,530
Yes. Wh-Why aren't we closer?
287
00:10:18,532 --> 00:10:19,764
- 'Cause you get me.
- (CHUCKLES) Mmm.
288
00:10:19,766 --> 00:10:21,433
I have it. I got it.
289
00:10:21,435 --> 00:10:22,634
- I love you.
- Love you back.
290
00:10:22,636 --> 00:10:24,001
Black love.
291
00:10:24,003 --> 00:10:25,369
TEDDY:
Okay.
292
00:10:25,371 --> 00:10:27,237
Oh, shit.
293
00:10:27,239 --> 00:10:28,405
All right, Marvin, hit me.
294
00:10:28,407 --> 00:10:29,641
Thank you.
295
00:10:29,643 --> 00:10:31,743
- This is so good.
- One of my favorite things that he does.
296
00:10:31,745 --> 00:10:33,478
- That caramel tart, he's known for it.
- TEDDY: All right.
297
00:10:33,480 --> 00:10:35,447
Oh, I gotta get in that.
298
00:10:35,449 --> 00:10:37,181
Definitely gonna try that.
299
00:10:37,183 --> 00:10:38,248
Uh-uh.
300
00:10:38,250 --> 00:10:39,751
- MAYA: So amazing.
- LISA: Aren't these beautiful?
301
00:10:39,753 --> 00:10:41,452
- He did these just for us.
- Really?
302
00:10:41,454 --> 00:10:43,121
Yeah.
You should try this caramel.
303
00:10:43,123 --> 00:10:44,255
I'm gonna... I'm gonna take
a little bit of it.
304
00:10:44,257 --> 00:10:46,591
- Get in there.
- Take me through... take me through...
305
00:10:46,593 --> 00:10:48,158
Lisa, take me through.
So this is a chair.
306
00:10:48,160 --> 00:10:49,293
Straight up, it's a chair.
307
00:10:49,295 --> 00:10:51,061
I know that much, but what...
tell me about... give me
308
00:10:51,063 --> 00:10:52,029
the Behind the Music
about the chair.
309
00:10:52,031 --> 00:10:53,263
Pretend I'm on VH1
or something like that.
310
00:10:53,265 --> 00:10:55,400
Well, actually, these chairs
have a very interesting story.
311
00:10:55,402 --> 00:10:56,768
They're from Denmark.
312
00:10:56,770 --> 00:10:58,770
- Found them in a warehouse.
- MARVIN: Whoa.
313
00:10:58,772 --> 00:11:01,438
Mid-century, modern,
kind of rounded.
314
00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:02,372
- MARVIN: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- (GROANS QUIETLY)
315
00:11:02,374 --> 00:11:03,574
- I know it's blue and...
- (PLUCKING SOUND)
316
00:11:03,576 --> 00:11:05,476
- LISA: I didn't know you were so into chairs.
- (GRUNTS)
317
00:11:05,478 --> 00:11:06,578
Oh, you would not believe...
I'll go home,
318
00:11:06,580 --> 00:11:07,779
I'll look at my chair,
I get turned on in a second.
319
00:11:07,781 --> 00:11:09,814
- It's just a weird fetish.
- You would love these because...
320
00:11:09,816 --> 00:11:12,282
I don't know if you noticed
the cerulean kind of
321
00:11:12,284 --> 00:11:13,617
- undertone of the wallpaper...
- Woof.
322
00:11:13,619 --> 00:11:16,220
...but we kind of wanted
to tie it all together,
323
00:11:16,222 --> 00:11:18,089
to kind of offset the harder,
more straighter lines,
324
00:11:18,091 --> 00:11:19,624
- and...
- What is that? I...
325
00:11:19,626 --> 00:11:21,559
I found this fabric in Italy.
It's 100%...
326
00:11:21,561 --> 00:11:23,160
Oh, my God.
327
00:11:23,162 --> 00:11:23,962
(CHUCKLES)
328
00:11:23,964 --> 00:11:25,797
- Oh, my God!
- (UTENSILS DROPPING)
329
00:11:25,799 --> 00:11:28,065
- No, no, no!
- What?
330
00:11:28,067 --> 00:11:29,801
Is there a problem
with the dessert, sir?
331
00:11:29,803 --> 00:11:31,503
I think that's pubic hair
in the cake.
332
00:11:31,505 --> 00:11:33,070
- MARVIN: Oh, my God.
- LISA: Oh, my gosh.
333
00:11:33,072 --> 00:11:34,505
Is this pubic hair
in my damn dessert?
334
00:11:34,507 --> 00:11:35,341
May I?
335
00:11:37,343 --> 00:11:39,376
- I'm sorry, what?
- May I please take it?
336
00:11:39,378 --> 00:11:41,178
Literally,
I'm telling you what it is.
337
00:11:41,180 --> 00:11:42,114
Uh...
338
00:11:48,087 --> 00:11:50,122
This is way too many pubes.
339
00:11:51,156 --> 00:11:52,256
What does that mean?
340
00:11:52,258 --> 00:11:53,625
I mean, one is too many pubes.
341
00:11:53,627 --> 00:11:55,158
If you could tell the chef.
342
00:11:55,160 --> 00:11:56,628
Thank you. Thank you for
taking care of this for us.
343
00:11:56,630 --> 00:11:58,529
I believe you planted these.
344
00:11:58,531 --> 00:12:00,764
- (LISA GASPS) - No, no, no.
- What'd you just say?
345
00:12:00,766 --> 00:12:02,599
MARVIN: Stop. I got this.
That's insane of you.
346
00:12:02,601 --> 00:12:04,368
I've known this man
my entire life.
347
00:12:04,370 --> 00:12:06,504
- He's not a pube planter, sir.
- TEDDY: No, no, no.
348
00:12:06,506 --> 00:12:08,539
Stop, Marv. Stop.
Maybe you planted them.
349
00:12:08,541 --> 00:12:10,107
- What?
- Boom.
350
00:12:10,109 --> 00:12:11,675
I risked my life
coming to this country
351
00:12:11,677 --> 00:12:13,644
so I can plant pubes on
some random guy's cheesecake?
352
00:12:13,646 --> 00:12:15,212
I don't know
what you're into, man.
353
00:12:15,214 --> 00:12:16,880
And I have a flash of news
for you, guy.
354
00:12:16,882 --> 00:12:19,416
- I man-scape down here.
- TEDDY: Okay.
355
00:12:19,418 --> 00:12:21,418
That's my woman, and that's
too much information.
356
00:12:21,420 --> 00:12:23,654
And these are the pubes
357
00:12:23,656 --> 00:12:25,656
of an African-American guy.
358
00:12:25,658 --> 00:12:28,224
- MARVIN: Oh, shit.
- What? That's racist, man.
359
00:12:28,226 --> 00:12:29,459
It's descriptive.
360
00:12:29,461 --> 00:12:31,395
- "Descriptive," my ass. That's racist.
- Luis?
361
00:12:31,397 --> 00:12:33,730
That's what they are...
Afro pubes.
362
00:12:33,732 --> 00:12:34,731
Friends, friends,
what is happening?
363
00:12:34,733 --> 00:12:35,732
What is happening?
364
00:12:35,734 --> 00:12:37,167
Pubes and racism.
365
00:12:37,169 --> 00:12:38,368
TEDDY:
Chef Clemont...
366
00:12:38,370 --> 00:12:40,269
(SPEAKS FRENCH)
367
00:12:40,271 --> 00:12:41,404
- Mm-hmm.
- All right? I go to take
368
00:12:41,406 --> 00:12:42,539
a bite of my cheesecake.
369
00:12:42,541 --> 00:12:44,341
There's what appears
to be pubic hair
370
00:12:44,343 --> 00:12:45,442
in my cake.
371
00:12:45,444 --> 00:12:46,677
That he planted with his
372
00:12:46,679 --> 00:12:48,712
African-American
short-and-curlies.
373
00:12:48,714 --> 00:12:49,646
Say "African-American" again,
374
00:12:49,648 --> 00:12:51,515
and I'm-a get dark
and curly in your ass!
375
00:12:51,517 --> 00:12:53,517
- I will say it again!
- All right, say it again!
376
00:12:53,519 --> 00:12:55,385
(CLAMORING)
377
00:12:55,387 --> 00:12:56,888
CLEMONT:
Please, everyone, calm down.
378
00:12:56,890 --> 00:12:59,156
I am mortified by this.
I am so sorry here, everyone.
379
00:12:59,158 --> 00:13:01,358
- Uh, the meal is on me.
- LUIS: No.
380
00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:02,593
This is what he wants.
381
00:13:02,595 --> 00:13:04,561
- Luis, I need to speak to you in the kitchen.
- Thank you.
382
00:13:04,563 --> 00:13:05,562
Go in the kitchen, man.
383
00:13:05,564 --> 00:13:06,864
You're going to die.
384
00:13:06,866 --> 00:13:08,699
Luis, I need to speak to you
in the kitchen.
385
00:13:08,701 --> 00:13:10,233
You messed with the wrong guy.
386
00:13:10,235 --> 00:13:11,435
CLEMONT:
Luis, right now.
387
00:13:11,437 --> 00:13:12,669
- Right now.
- You better go.
388
00:13:12,671 --> 00:13:13,704
Okay, baby, just...
389
00:13:13,706 --> 00:13:14,938
You better go!
390
00:13:14,940 --> 00:13:16,840
- Gotta be kidding me.
- LUIS: Chef, please,
391
00:13:16,842 --> 00:13:19,209
- he's been...
- I, uh... I don't want to get into it.
392
00:13:19,211 --> 00:13:21,612
Feel like it's a cloud
of racism around me.
393
00:13:21,614 --> 00:13:23,447
- (CRICKETS CHIRPING)
- (LISA SIGHS)
394
00:13:23,449 --> 00:13:24,848
Teddy, what is going on?
395
00:13:24,850 --> 00:13:26,516
Haven't we had
enough surprises tonight?
396
00:13:26,518 --> 00:13:28,517
Well, I promise you
397
00:13:28,519 --> 00:13:31,254
that this one
will be worth it, okay?
398
00:13:31,256 --> 00:13:32,623
Oh, my God.
399
00:13:32,625 --> 00:13:34,458
What's all this?
400
00:13:34,460 --> 00:13:37,628
Well, I will tell you
what's going on.
401
00:13:37,630 --> 00:13:39,395
So, listen to this.
402
00:13:39,397 --> 00:13:42,332
Joe told me today
that when he retires
403
00:13:42,334 --> 00:13:44,234
he's leaving all of this to me.
404
00:13:44,236 --> 00:13:46,803
- Baby, that's amazing.
- I mean, it's life-changing.
405
00:13:46,805 --> 00:13:49,271
- Yeah.
- And maybe you could
406
00:13:49,273 --> 00:13:51,574
put your touch on this place,
change the design,
407
00:13:51,576 --> 00:13:53,342
help take it to the next level?
408
00:13:53,344 --> 00:13:54,745
I'm so proud of you. Yeah.
409
00:13:54,747 --> 00:13:55,946
- Maybe we expand?
- Yes.
410
00:13:55,948 --> 00:13:57,381
- Franchise, even?
- Yeah.
411
00:13:57,383 --> 00:13:58,682
Yes. Oh, yeah.
412
00:13:58,684 --> 00:14:00,383
Baby, we-we could do a lot
with this place.
413
00:14:00,385 --> 00:14:01,685
First of all,
we could change the logo.
414
00:14:01,687 --> 00:14:03,887
"Barbecue Nation."
"Barbecue Safari."
415
00:14:03,889 --> 00:14:05,622
I mean, there are
so many things we could do.
416
00:14:05,624 --> 00:14:06,990
Honestly, I have so many ideas.
417
00:14:06,992 --> 00:14:08,159
- (TEDDY CLEARS THROAT)
- I...
418
00:14:10,429 --> 00:14:12,328
I just know that with you
by my side,
419
00:14:12,330 --> 00:14:13,699
that anything is possible.
420
00:14:17,235 --> 00:14:18,268
(GASPS)
421
00:14:18,270 --> 00:14:20,372
Oh, my God.
422
00:14:23,241 --> 00:14:24,642
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
423
00:14:26,678 --> 00:14:28,878
- Yes.
- Yes?
424
00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:30,947
- (LAUGHING): Yes! Yes!
- (CHUCKLING): Yes?
425
00:14:30,949 --> 00:14:32,716
- (TEDDY GRUNTS)
- LISA: Mmm.
426
00:14:32,718 --> 00:14:34,519
BOTH:
Mmm, mmm.
427
00:14:35,620 --> 00:14:36,787
Wait, the ring. Here.
428
00:14:36,789 --> 00:14:38,254
You gotta put the...
put the ring on.
429
00:14:38,256 --> 00:14:39,522
Oh, my God.
430
00:14:39,524 --> 00:14:41,892
- I love it.
- Let's celebrate, then.
431
00:14:41,894 --> 00:14:44,326
- Huh? You know I had to get some champagne.
- Oh, my God.
432
00:14:44,328 --> 00:14:46,328
I said, "Look, uh, my baby
gonna like it."
433
00:14:46,330 --> 00:14:47,764
- (GAS HISSING)
- (LISA CHUCKLING)
434
00:14:47,766 --> 00:14:49,732
TEDDY: Let me pour some
champagne for my fiancée.
435
00:14:49,734 --> 00:14:51,300
LISA:
"Fiancée."
436
00:14:51,302 --> 00:14:52,968
TEDDY:
All right, let's make a toast.
437
00:14:52,970 --> 00:14:55,507
- To us.
- To us.
438
00:14:56,508 --> 00:14:58,309
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
439
00:14:59,444 --> 00:15:00,676
(TEDDY SIGHS, SNIFFS)
440
00:15:00,678 --> 00:15:01,877
- Baby?
- Hmm?
441
00:15:01,879 --> 00:15:03,045
Do you smell gas?
442
00:15:03,047 --> 00:15:04,647
I was nervous, babe.
443
00:15:04,649 --> 00:15:06,750
I didn't know you'd smell it.
I tried to...
444
00:15:06,752 --> 00:15:08,417
No, that's, um...
445
00:15:08,419 --> 00:15:10,352
Actual... like, the propane?
446
00:15:10,354 --> 00:15:11,487
Why don't you go stand outside,
447
00:15:11,489 --> 00:15:13,789
I'll situate everything
in here, and I'll get you home.
448
00:15:13,791 --> 00:15:14,957
- Okay.
- Love you.
449
00:15:14,959 --> 00:15:16,325
Be ready.
450
00:15:16,327 --> 00:15:17,561
TEDDY:
Mm-hmm.
451
00:15:17,563 --> 00:15:19,295
LISA:
So, guys...
452
00:15:19,297 --> 00:15:22,800
my sweet little Teddy Bear
just popped the question.
453
00:15:25,703 --> 00:15:26,802
(BLOWS)
454
00:15:26,804 --> 00:15:27,972
And big surprise...
455
00:15:29,373 --> 00:15:30,807
(SIGHS)
456
00:15:30,809 --> 00:15:32,776
I said yes!
457
00:15:32,778 --> 00:15:34,543
- (ELECTRICAL BUZZING)
- Shit!
458
00:15:34,545 --> 00:15:36,514
(TEDDY SCREAMING)
459
00:15:39,517 --> 00:15:40,716
- (GASPS)
- (TEDDY GROANING)
460
00:15:40,718 --> 00:15:43,720
Oh, shit. Oh, shit!
461
00:15:43,722 --> 00:15:45,554
Oh, God! Baby.
462
00:15:45,556 --> 00:15:47,792
(SCREAMS, WHIMPERS)
463
00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:50,392
Teddy, are you okay?
464
00:15:50,394 --> 00:15:53,429
I need you to tell
my fiancée there's...
465
00:15:53,431 --> 00:15:54,998
there's been an accident.
466
00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:56,933
Baby, it's me.
467
00:15:56,935 --> 00:15:59,635
- (WHIMPERS)
- Can you see me? Teddy?
468
00:15:59,637 --> 00:16:01,537
I'm your fiancée.
469
00:16:01,539 --> 00:16:02,905
Good.
470
00:16:02,907 --> 00:16:04,874
I've been in an accident.
471
00:16:04,876 --> 00:16:06,076
Oh, baby.
472
00:16:06,078 --> 00:16:08,346
(GROANING)
473
00:16:09,914 --> 00:16:12,481
MARVIN:
So, Joe didn't have insurance?
474
00:16:12,483 --> 00:16:14,016
Yeah, of course he did, Marv.
475
00:16:14,018 --> 00:16:16,118
He took the money
and ran off to Florida.
476
00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:18,487
Dude, I've been looking
for a job everywhere, man.
477
00:16:18,489 --> 00:16:20,689
But there are no
decent sales jobs for
478
00:16:20,691 --> 00:16:22,491
an Employee of the Month
at Barbecue City.
479
00:16:22,493 --> 00:16:24,827
We'd hire you here,
but you need to get your GED.
480
00:16:24,829 --> 00:16:27,462
Think about it.
These guys bullshit clients
481
00:16:27,464 --> 00:16:29,698
all day about funds
they don't understand.
482
00:16:29,700 --> 00:16:30,533
You would be a natural.
483
00:16:30,535 --> 00:16:31,801
So you're saying
that if I graduated
484
00:16:31,803 --> 00:16:34,570
- from high school, that then you could get me a job here?
- Yeah.
485
00:16:34,572 --> 00:16:36,872
But you hate school,
so why are we even having
486
00:16:36,874 --> 00:16:38,741
- this conversation?
- No, no, no. I'm not talking
487
00:16:38,743 --> 00:16:39,975
about going to school.
488
00:16:39,977 --> 00:16:41,610
I'm talking about
getting my GED.
489
00:16:41,612 --> 00:16:42,845
And that's different.
490
00:16:42,847 --> 00:16:44,080
See, to get my GED,
491
00:16:44,082 --> 00:16:45,948
all I gotta do is go
to the school,
492
00:16:45,950 --> 00:16:47,149
charm the principal
a little bit.
493
00:16:47,151 --> 00:16:48,984
- Right? Get what I want.
- Yeah.
494
00:16:48,986 --> 00:16:51,519
Which is my GED.
Sounds pretty easy to me, Marv.
495
00:16:51,521 --> 00:16:54,490
- If you got your GED...
- Huh?
496
00:16:54,492 --> 00:16:56,492
I could probably hook you up.
497
00:16:56,494 --> 00:16:58,027
Listen to me, though.
Stop it. Stop, okay?
498
00:16:58,029 --> 00:17:00,395
Do yourself a favor,
and do not tell Lisa about this
499
00:17:00,397 --> 00:17:01,764
until it's a done deal.
500
00:17:01,766 --> 00:17:04,166
Now, you know I'm smarter
than that, Marv.
501
00:17:04,168 --> 00:17:05,835
You're gonna be
a financial analyst?
502
00:17:05,837 --> 00:17:07,469
TEDDY:
Yes, I am.
503
00:17:07,471 --> 00:17:09,572
I am, babe,
and it starts immediately.
504
00:17:09,574 --> 00:17:12,074
I was talking to Marv, and he
says that they could really use
505
00:17:12,076 --> 00:17:13,876
somebody with my skill set
at his firm.
506
00:17:13,878 --> 00:17:15,077
That's great.
507
00:17:15,079 --> 00:17:16,611
That's a great opportunity.
508
00:17:16,613 --> 00:17:19,182
Um... yeah, I mean, I'm-I'm...
509
00:17:19,184 --> 00:17:22,051
I'm basically pumped up
about it, you know?
510
00:17:22,053 --> 00:17:23,619
- LISA: You are so resilient, baby.
- Mmm.
511
00:17:23,621 --> 00:17:25,720
You keep bouncing back.
I am so proud of you.
512
00:17:25,722 --> 00:17:26,889
Yep.
513
00:17:26,891 --> 00:17:28,123
I love you.
514
00:17:28,125 --> 00:17:29,727
I love you, too.
515
00:17:31,796 --> 00:17:33,929
(VEHICLE APPROACHING,
HIP-HOP BLASTING OVER STEREO)
516
00:17:33,931 --> 00:17:36,131
Ma, of course
the thong is gonna
517
00:17:36,133 --> 00:17:37,900
cut you in the booty hole.
518
00:17:37,902 --> 00:17:39,834
That's what it do.
Look, next time Leon
519
00:17:39,836 --> 00:17:42,004
want to stick somebody
in a thong, you tell him
520
00:17:42,006 --> 00:17:44,139
that he need to put it on
and get a mirror
521
00:17:44,141 --> 00:17:45,774
and check and see
what his balls do.
522
00:17:45,776 --> 00:17:48,743
I don't care
if he is your pastor.
523
00:17:48,745 --> 00:17:52,147
Do the congregation know
he a freak like that?
524
00:17:52,149 --> 00:17:53,716
(CHUCKLES)
525
00:17:53,718 --> 00:17:55,084
Hold on, Mama.
526
00:17:55,086 --> 00:17:56,886
Can I help you, sir?
527
00:17:56,888 --> 00:17:58,620
Um...
528
00:17:58,622 --> 00:18:02,057
I couldn't help but overhear
your conversation.
529
00:18:02,059 --> 00:18:03,992
- Excuse me?
- You kind of loud.
530
00:18:03,994 --> 00:18:05,628
Well, then get out of my car.
531
00:18:05,630 --> 00:18:07,129
I'm not in your car.
I'm clearly in my car.
532
00:18:07,131 --> 00:18:09,530
- No, you're in my car.
- You're speaking loud enough...
533
00:18:09,532 --> 00:18:11,133
What are you,
the volume control police?
534
00:18:11,135 --> 00:18:12,467
I'm not sure
if that's even a thing.
535
00:18:12,469 --> 00:18:13,601
Mind your business.
536
00:18:13,603 --> 00:18:15,103
Your business
is becoming my business.
537
00:18:15,105 --> 00:18:16,604
Why don't you work
on your windshield?
538
00:18:16,606 --> 00:18:17,973
Now you're really
in my business.
539
00:18:17,975 --> 00:18:18,974
Probably look like
a kaleidoscope
540
00:18:18,976 --> 00:18:20,142
when you look through it.
541
00:18:20,144 --> 00:18:21,542
You know,
why don't you just...?
542
00:18:21,544 --> 00:18:22,510
You probably feel like
a little honeybee.
543
00:18:22,512 --> 00:18:24,646
- Enough.
- Looking at 18 things at one time,
544
00:18:24,648 --> 00:18:26,514
but really you're just looking
at one thing.
545
00:18:26,516 --> 00:18:27,715
I-I-I'm gonna get
in your business now.
546
00:18:27,717 --> 00:18:30,485
Tell your mother that she can
go buy a box of G-strings
547
00:18:30,487 --> 00:18:31,787
with her nasty ass.
548
00:18:31,789 --> 00:18:33,088
You're talking
about my mama now?
549
00:18:33,090 --> 00:18:35,090
Any pastor that's putting
a thong on his balls
550
00:18:35,092 --> 00:18:36,524
ain't right with God.
551
00:18:36,526 --> 00:18:38,192
- Pssh. What?
- Don't "pssh" me.
552
00:18:38,194 --> 00:18:39,594
- Pssh.
- (GRUNTS)
553
00:18:39,596 --> 00:18:40,595
- (YOWLS)
- (SQUEAKY GRUNT)
554
00:18:40,597 --> 00:18:41,997
- Yeah.
- (STAMMERS)
555
00:18:41,999 --> 00:18:43,832
- (ROARS)
- (HISSES)
556
00:18:43,834 --> 00:18:45,034
I bet that hurt your throat.
557
00:18:45,036 --> 00:18:46,235
Drive your car.
558
00:18:46,237 --> 00:18:47,202
What, Mama?
559
00:18:47,204 --> 00:18:48,270
Your mother's nasty.
560
00:18:48,272 --> 00:18:50,171
Girl, yeah, that's a little
ol' burnt leprechaun
561
00:18:50,173 --> 00:18:53,208
sitting next to me at this damn
light all in our conversation.
562
00:18:53,210 --> 00:18:55,911
- Excuse me? Hey.
- Nah, girl, you know he ain't got no gold.
563
00:18:55,913 --> 00:18:57,079
You know he ain't got no gold.
564
00:18:57,081 --> 00:18:58,247
- How about you grow up?
- Bye, boo!
565
00:18:58,249 --> 00:18:59,847
Hey.
566
00:18:59,849 --> 00:19:01,950
Speak... speaking of toast,
if you...?
567
00:19:01,952 --> 00:19:03,818
- Goddamn it, Teddy.
- (HORN HONKING)
568
00:19:03,820 --> 00:19:05,119
- I gotta work...
- MAN: Hey, yo!
569
00:19:05,121 --> 00:19:06,621
- Who you honk...?
- Let's go!
570
00:19:06,623 --> 00:19:08,057
I can't even see...
Where's my mirror?
571
00:19:08,059 --> 00:19:10,591
- Yo, man!
- Hey, who you honking at?
572
00:19:10,593 --> 00:19:13,229
♪
573
00:19:25,675 --> 00:19:26,841
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
574
00:19:26,843 --> 00:19:28,642
STEWART:
So, game the system again,
575
00:19:28,644 --> 00:19:29,812
did we, Teddy?
576
00:19:29,814 --> 00:19:31,713
TEDDY: Stewart,
what is your problem with me?
577
00:19:31,715 --> 00:19:33,881
My problem with you, Teddy,
is that students like you
578
00:19:33,883 --> 00:19:35,817
bring down the reputation
of this high school.
579
00:19:35,819 --> 00:19:37,185
- (MOCK CHATTERING)
- You may have everybody else
580
00:19:37,187 --> 00:19:38,853
at this school fooled,
but I know
581
00:19:38,855 --> 00:19:40,254
you're actually covering up
for the fact
582
00:19:40,256 --> 00:19:42,091
that you're really just
not that smart.
583
00:19:42,093 --> 00:19:44,559
In fact, you might be the
dumbest student at this school.
584
00:19:44,561 --> 00:19:46,261
- ♪ Uh-oh
- ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
585
00:19:46,263 --> 00:19:48,997
- ♪ Yeah ♪ - ♪ Uh-oh ♪
- ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
586
00:19:48,999 --> 00:19:51,698
- ♪ Uh-oh
- ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. ♪
587
00:19:51,700 --> 00:19:53,101
(CHUCKLING)
588
00:19:53,103 --> 00:19:55,170
(CHUCKLES)
589
00:19:55,172 --> 00:19:57,972
I am the music teacher.
590
00:19:57,974 --> 00:20:00,908
I don't know the first thing
about teaching biology.
591
00:20:00,910 --> 00:20:02,844
STEWART:
Oh, for God's sakes!
592
00:20:02,846 --> 00:20:05,613
What part of
"there is no musical program"
593
00:20:05,615 --> 00:20:07,149
do you not understand, Trish?
594
00:20:07,151 --> 00:20:09,050
Nobody's getting
into Ivy League schools
595
00:20:09,052 --> 00:20:10,818
- on a bassoon scholarship.
- Oh, shit.
596
00:20:10,820 --> 00:20:12,687
TEDDY:
You know, I'm not book smart.
597
00:20:12,689 --> 00:20:14,322
Stewart's smarter than me.
598
00:20:14,324 --> 00:20:16,024
But you know what I'm not?
599
00:20:16,026 --> 00:20:17,725
I'm not a freak of nature,
Stew.
600
00:20:17,727 --> 00:20:18,993
Uh-oh, Stew.
601
00:20:18,995 --> 00:20:20,362
Don't do this, Teddy.
602
00:20:20,364 --> 00:20:22,296
Hey, quick question, everybody.
603
00:20:22,298 --> 00:20:25,133
Has anybody here ever seen
Stewart with his shirt off?
604
00:20:25,135 --> 00:20:27,335
It's a birthmark.
It's a birthmark!
605
00:20:27,337 --> 00:20:29,737
- If it's a birthmark, let us see it right now.
- Prove it.
606
00:20:29,739 --> 00:20:31,739
You all want to see
my birthmark?
607
00:20:31,741 --> 00:20:32,807
- STUDENTS: Yes!
- Come on! I'm dying!
608
00:20:32,809 --> 00:20:34,008
I'll prove it. See?
609
00:20:34,010 --> 00:20:35,845
(STUDENTS YELLING AND GASPING)
610
00:20:37,180 --> 00:20:38,779
It's a birthmark!
611
00:20:38,781 --> 00:20:41,014
You got a pig's butthole
on your chest, man.
612
00:20:41,016 --> 00:20:43,151
There's no hole in it,
so how could it be a butthole?
613
00:20:43,153 --> 00:20:45,153
TEDDY:
You got a third nipple, man!
614
00:20:45,155 --> 00:20:46,888
Who's next, Dolores?
615
00:20:46,890 --> 00:20:48,825
This young man right here.
616
00:20:50,360 --> 00:20:53,264
(CHUCKLING):
Hey. What's up, Stewart?
617
00:20:55,165 --> 00:20:57,965
(SIGHS)
We had good times, didn't we?
618
00:20:57,967 --> 00:21:00,902
I laugh at how much we laughed.
619
00:21:00,904 --> 00:21:03,173
(CHUCKLING):
That's some...
620
00:21:08,344 --> 00:21:09,977
(TEDDY SIGHS)
621
00:21:09,979 --> 00:21:11,279
So, uh...
622
00:21:11,281 --> 00:21:13,314
how long you been
the principal, man?
623
00:21:13,316 --> 00:21:14,714
Going on two years.
624
00:21:14,716 --> 00:21:16,350
- Wow.
- Yeah. Wasn't easy,
625
00:21:16,352 --> 00:21:20,822
but, uh, cleaned this place up
using my brain and my bat.
626
00:21:20,824 --> 00:21:22,990
As opposed to when we went
to high school,
627
00:21:22,992 --> 00:21:25,293
now, if you have
a "D" average, you're out.
628
00:21:25,295 --> 00:21:26,860
Can you do that?
629
00:21:26,862 --> 00:21:28,297
I can do whatever I want,
Teddy.
630
00:21:29,433 --> 00:21:31,199
This my house.
631
00:21:31,201 --> 00:21:33,835
I'm sorry, what...
what was that last part?
632
00:21:33,837 --> 00:21:34,938
I said look around you.
633
00:21:35,904 --> 00:21:39,407
This is... my...
634
00:21:39,409 --> 00:21:41,377
house.
635
00:21:43,446 --> 00:21:45,879
Excuse me for asking, but are
you doing a black voice?
636
00:21:45,881 --> 00:21:48,048
No, no. Not a black voice.
637
00:21:48,050 --> 00:21:49,950
- You sure?
- I don't hear color.
638
00:21:49,952 --> 00:21:53,020
- Mmm.
- What brings you back to Piedmont, Mr. Walker?
639
00:21:53,022 --> 00:21:55,857
Right now I'm transitioning
from an amazing job in sales
640
00:21:55,859 --> 00:21:57,858
to a job in finance,
and the only thing
641
00:21:57,860 --> 00:21:59,826
that's really holding up
this transition
642
00:21:59,828 --> 00:22:02,295
is me not having my GED.
643
00:22:02,297 --> 00:22:04,264
So, I don't know,
I was thinking maybe I could
644
00:22:04,266 --> 00:22:06,400
get you to cross some T's,
dot some I's.
645
00:22:06,402 --> 00:22:08,269
- (CHUCKLING)
- Maybe you could do
646
00:22:08,271 --> 00:22:10,204
a favor for an old friend.
647
00:22:10,206 --> 00:22:12,273
(SIGHS) Some things just
never change, huh, Teddy?
648
00:22:12,275 --> 00:22:14,107
You want me to help you
649
00:22:14,109 --> 00:22:17,311
find a shortcut
to getting your diploma.
650
00:22:17,313 --> 00:22:18,446
No.
651
00:22:18,448 --> 00:22:19,880
Yes.
652
00:22:19,882 --> 00:22:21,415
Hmm.
653
00:22:21,417 --> 00:22:24,050
I wish I could. I really do.
654
00:22:24,052 --> 00:22:25,385
But you would have to go
655
00:22:25,387 --> 00:22:28,755
to night school to learn
how to pass the GED test,
656
00:22:28,757 --> 00:22:31,292
and unfortunately we don't
offer night school here.
657
00:22:31,294 --> 00:22:33,727
I'm so sorry, Teddy.
658
00:22:33,729 --> 00:22:35,431
Let me walk you out.
659
00:22:37,500 --> 00:22:39,866
You want to touch her?
660
00:22:39,868 --> 00:22:41,801
- I'm sorry?
- Come on.
661
00:22:41,803 --> 00:22:43,970
Touch my big black bat.
662
00:22:43,972 --> 00:22:46,106
Um, no, I'm...
663
00:22:46,108 --> 00:22:48,243
Go ahead, say hi.
664
00:22:50,412 --> 00:22:53,414
Ah!
(LAUGHS)
665
00:22:53,416 --> 00:22:56,217
(À LA MORGAN FREEMAN): You used
to call me Crazy Stewart.
666
00:22:56,219 --> 00:22:59,788
Now you call me Batman.
667
00:23:02,858 --> 00:23:03,990
(TEDDY GROANS)
668
00:23:03,992 --> 00:23:05,193
- (LOUD BANG)
- (STUDENT GASPS)
669
00:23:05,195 --> 00:23:06,927
Remove the
Beats by Andre, Rudy.
670
00:23:06,929 --> 00:23:08,862
School policy...
no headphones on campus
671
00:23:08,864 --> 00:23:10,464
unless you're using
Rosetta Stone.
672
00:23:10,466 --> 00:23:12,832
Hey, uh... hey, Stew,
you think you're taking
673
00:23:12,834 --> 00:23:14,868
the right approach here
with these kids?
674
00:23:14,870 --> 00:23:16,469
They look a little
stressed out, man.
675
00:23:16,471 --> 00:23:19,540
I am preparing them for
the real world, Teddy, okay?
676
00:23:19,542 --> 00:23:21,775
I may not be their best friend,
677
00:23:21,777 --> 00:23:23,777
- but everyone here respects me.
- Okay.
678
00:23:23,779 --> 00:23:26,012
- What the fuck, Stewart?
- Uh, hey, hey, hey, hey.
679
00:23:26,014 --> 00:23:27,981
Let's watch the language,
please, Miss Carter.
680
00:23:27,983 --> 00:23:30,451
Why did you add AP Calculus
to my class load,
681
00:23:30,453 --> 00:23:32,219
knowing good and well
I already have
682
00:23:32,221 --> 00:23:34,120
five units to teach
plus night school?
683
00:23:34,122 --> 00:23:35,889
- It's too much.
- Wait, hold on.
684
00:23:35,891 --> 00:23:38,158
You're... you're
the night school teacher?
685
00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:40,160
No, I'm just a bitch
that like to wear blouses.
686
00:23:40,162 --> 00:23:41,861
Yes, I'm the night school
teacher.
687
00:23:41,863 --> 00:23:43,397
Did you bring me some
dried shamrocks, leprechaun?
688
00:23:43,399 --> 00:23:44,798
TEDDY:
It's still not funny.
689
00:23:44,800 --> 00:23:46,099
Wait, well, hold up.
690
00:23:46,101 --> 00:23:47,500
Stew, why'd you
just tell me that you
691
00:23:47,502 --> 00:23:48,568
don't have night school here?
692
00:23:48,570 --> 00:23:50,270
Why would you say that?
693
00:23:50,272 --> 00:23:53,940
I said that because Teddy and I
went to school together.
694
00:23:53,942 --> 00:23:57,077
He is, quite frankly,
a terrible student,
695
00:23:57,079 --> 00:23:58,945
and I did not want
that element in here.
696
00:23:58,947 --> 00:24:00,846
I don't care if he's
as dumb as a Minion.
697
00:24:00,848 --> 00:24:02,582
He is welcome to take my class
if he wants.
698
00:24:02,584 --> 00:24:04,484
Thank you. Thank you for that.
699
00:24:04,486 --> 00:24:06,520
You're welcome.
'Cause you-you need it.
700
00:24:06,522 --> 00:24:09,055
Carrie, can we just
take down the 'tude?
701
00:24:09,057 --> 00:24:10,190
- 'Tude? Really?
- No, I'm...
702
00:24:10,192 --> 00:24:12,158
You haven't even seen
the beginning of this attitude.
703
00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:14,160
- Oh, I-I...
- Wait, say that to me again.
704
00:24:14,162 --> 00:24:15,195
I apologize.
705
00:24:15,197 --> 00:24:16,596
That was a poor choice
of words.
706
00:24:16,598 --> 00:24:19,132
I just mean I need you
to show me the respect
707
00:24:19,134 --> 00:24:20,900
that you would show your boss.
708
00:24:20,902 --> 00:24:22,235
Because this is your house,
right?
709
00:24:22,237 --> 00:24:23,869
Oh, you... you did the
black voice thing with him?
710
00:24:23,871 --> 00:24:25,071
It's not a black voice.
711
00:24:25,073 --> 00:24:27,039
In actuality,
not a black voice.
712
00:24:27,041 --> 00:24:28,475
No, you do a black voice.
713
00:24:28,477 --> 00:24:30,043
You don't remember when
you was in that meeting,
714
00:24:30,045 --> 00:24:31,845
you was like, "We gonna
get it lit up in here.
715
00:24:31,847 --> 00:24:32,846
This meeting lit!"
716
00:24:32,848 --> 00:24:33,947
It was very lit.
717
00:24:33,949 --> 00:24:35,215
CARRIE:
You did it at the staff meeting
718
00:24:35,217 --> 00:24:37,517
when you were like,
"I keep it one hundred."
719
00:24:37,519 --> 00:24:39,051
When have I never kept it
one hunnid?
720
00:24:39,053 --> 00:24:42,155
When you added that AP Calculus
to my class load.
721
00:24:42,157 --> 00:24:44,557
All right, agree to disagree.
Listen, I hate to break up
722
00:24:44,559 --> 00:24:46,993
this pleasure party
of delusion,
723
00:24:46,995 --> 00:24:48,361
but I have work to do.
724
00:24:48,363 --> 00:24:50,299
- Wow.
- So, if you'll excuse me...
725
00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:54,067
I'm-a do my thang.
726
00:24:54,069 --> 00:24:55,902
(SCOFFS)
727
00:24:55,904 --> 00:24:58,371
That's... that's a black voice.
728
00:24:58,373 --> 00:25:00,373
- STEWART: Look alive, people!
- (STUDENTS GASP)
729
00:25:00,375 --> 00:25:03,142
Let's move with purpose!
Go, go, go, go, go!
730
00:25:03,144 --> 00:25:05,045
- Hey. Hey.
- No loitering in my hall!
731
00:25:05,047 --> 00:25:07,614
Can... can he really do that?
Can he keep me from going here?
732
00:25:07,616 --> 00:25:10,883
No, he can't. As a matter
of fact, here's a textbook.
733
00:25:10,885 --> 00:25:12,951
I'm actually going to set up
the class right now
734
00:25:12,953 --> 00:25:14,887
for our first session
of the semester.
735
00:25:14,889 --> 00:25:16,255
We start at 7:00.
736
00:25:16,257 --> 00:25:18,291
Yeah, but this-this book
is just kind of thick.
737
00:25:18,293 --> 00:25:21,096
(CHUCKLING): I thought it
would be more like a leaflet.
738
00:25:22,297 --> 00:25:24,096
(SNIFFS)
739
00:25:24,098 --> 00:25:26,265
You thought you could cram
four years of high school
740
00:25:26,267 --> 00:25:27,366
into a leaflet?
741
00:25:27,368 --> 00:25:28,534
- No.
- Maybe you are
742
00:25:28,536 --> 00:25:30,904
- as dumb as Stewart says.
- Wait, wait, no, no, no, no.
743
00:25:30,906 --> 00:25:32,038
No, no, I didn't...
I didn't think that.
744
00:25:32,040 --> 00:25:33,273
- Go to the library, then.
- I just...
745
00:25:33,275 --> 00:25:34,474
- I'll hold on...
- Little scrawny midget!
746
00:25:34,476 --> 00:25:36,141
I'll hold on to it.
747
00:25:36,143 --> 00:25:37,910
- Mm-hmm.
- I'm trippin'.
748
00:25:37,912 --> 00:25:40,012
I'm thinking along the lines
of traffic school.
749
00:25:40,014 --> 00:25:42,048
Look, come or not...
makes me no difference.
750
00:25:42,050 --> 00:25:44,016
I don't get paid by the head.
751
00:25:44,018 --> 00:25:45,951
Or maybe you can find
a night school
752
00:25:45,953 --> 00:25:47,587
that does teach from a leaflet.
753
00:25:47,589 --> 00:25:49,254
You-you know of one that...?
754
00:25:49,256 --> 00:25:50,624
No, no, no.
I'm-I'm gonna keep it.
755
00:25:52,193 --> 00:25:53,460
Have a good one.
756
00:25:53,462 --> 00:25:56,496
TEDDY: Marv, I do not know
about this GED thing.
757
00:25:56,498 --> 00:25:58,465
I don't, man.
The teacher is tough as hell.
758
00:25:58,467 --> 00:26:00,232
Hold on.
Marv, let me hit you back.
759
00:26:00,234 --> 00:26:01,233
Yo!
760
00:26:01,235 --> 00:26:02,501
Oh, shit!
761
00:26:02,503 --> 00:26:04,403
Hold up! Stop, stop!
762
00:26:04,405 --> 00:26:06,473
- What you doing?
- What's it look like I'm doing?
763
00:26:06,475 --> 00:26:08,508
Uh, it look like
you towing my car.
764
00:26:08,510 --> 00:26:10,075
Did I park in a handicap spot?
765
00:26:10,077 --> 00:26:11,644
You've missed the last four
payments on that car.
766
00:26:11,646 --> 00:26:12,712
It's getting repossessed.
767
00:26:12,714 --> 00:26:14,680
You gonna take my car
with my baby in the back?
768
00:26:14,682 --> 00:26:16,982
Don't see no goddamn baby
in there.
769
00:26:16,984 --> 00:26:20,152
The baby right there.
(IMITATES CRYING BABY)
770
00:26:20,154 --> 00:26:22,454
- You don't hear that?
- I don't think so.
771
00:26:22,456 --> 00:26:24,425
Hey, man, I said don't do it.
772
00:26:25,459 --> 00:26:26,959
I'm not playing.
773
00:26:26,961 --> 00:26:28,060
Get out of the way, dude.
774
00:26:28,062 --> 00:26:29,562
Stop, man.
775
00:26:29,564 --> 00:26:30,697
I got my baby in here!
776
00:26:30,699 --> 00:26:32,465
- The car is leaving.
- (STAMMERS)
777
00:26:32,467 --> 00:26:34,099
- Get out of the way, dude.
- I'll show you leaving.
778
00:26:34,101 --> 00:26:35,567
- Come on, man.
- I've got something for your ass.
779
00:26:35,569 --> 00:26:37,436
- (ENGINE STARTS, REVS)
- Get out of the car.
780
00:26:37,438 --> 00:26:39,438
(TIRES SQUEALING)
781
00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:42,007
(YELLS)
782
00:26:42,009 --> 00:26:43,976
- You want to play that game?
- Yeah!
783
00:26:43,978 --> 00:26:46,113
- You want to see something?
- Come on, then!
784
00:26:47,715 --> 00:26:49,281
(SCREAMING)
785
00:26:49,283 --> 00:26:50,416
- Bye.
- (SCREAMING CONTINUES)
786
00:26:50,418 --> 00:26:51,450
Dumb-ass.
787
00:26:51,452 --> 00:26:52,719
Oh, God!
788
00:26:52,721 --> 00:26:54,654
(STUDENTS GROANING AND GASPING)
789
00:26:54,656 --> 00:26:56,488
Glad y'all enjoyed the show.
790
00:26:56,490 --> 00:26:58,190
(TEDDY YELLS)
791
00:26:58,192 --> 00:27:01,160
TEDDY: Tell my fiancée
I got in another accident!
792
00:27:01,162 --> 00:27:03,097
♪
793
00:27:07,401 --> 00:27:09,268
TEDDY:
Uh...
794
00:27:09,270 --> 00:27:11,637
- Carrie, right?
- Oh.
795
00:27:11,639 --> 00:27:13,305
So, even though we got
textbook-sized textbooks,
796
00:27:13,307 --> 00:27:14,506
you decided to join us.
797
00:27:14,508 --> 00:27:17,042
- (CHUCKLES)
- Well, grab a seat.
798
00:27:17,044 --> 00:27:18,545
We'll get started in a few.
799
00:27:18,547 --> 00:27:21,180
Uh, okay, before I do that...
now, I know we got off
800
00:27:21,182 --> 00:27:23,182
on the wrong foot,
so I was thinking.
801
00:27:23,184 --> 00:27:25,451
I don't know... I don't know if
you had time for dinner or not,
802
00:27:25,453 --> 00:27:27,453
so I took it upon myself
803
00:27:27,455 --> 00:27:30,189
to go and get you one
of my personal favorites.
804
00:27:30,191 --> 00:27:31,791
It's the best Mexican
here in the A.
805
00:27:31,793 --> 00:27:33,392
Oh. Thank you.
806
00:27:33,394 --> 00:27:35,327
That is so thoughtful
of you, Teddy.
807
00:27:35,329 --> 00:27:37,663
- (CHUCKLES)
- So, check this out.
808
00:27:37,665 --> 00:27:39,398
I went through some of
your old high school records.
809
00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:41,033
- Uh-huh.
- Math,
810
00:27:41,035 --> 00:27:44,636
science, English...
you was a horrible student.
811
00:27:44,638 --> 00:27:46,271
What was going on
with you then?
812
00:27:46,273 --> 00:27:47,539
Was you being abused
or something?
813
00:27:47,541 --> 00:27:49,140
(CHUCKLES)
Carrie, the thing with me
814
00:27:49,142 --> 00:27:51,443
is I prefer to use the world
as my classroom.
815
00:27:51,445 --> 00:27:54,646
And to be honest with you,
I'm not a...
816
00:27:54,648 --> 00:27:57,182
I'm not like the rest
of these folks.
817
00:27:57,184 --> 00:28:00,219
I'm just not what you would
call a night school person.
818
00:28:00,221 --> 00:28:03,354
So I figure, maybe you and I
can look out for one another.
819
00:28:03,356 --> 00:28:05,190
You help me, I help you.
820
00:28:05,192 --> 00:28:06,725
You got my back,
I got your back.
821
00:28:06,727 --> 00:28:08,727
Whatever, but it's just
a conversation.
822
00:28:08,729 --> 00:28:10,829
So enjoy your tacos.
823
00:28:10,831 --> 00:28:13,434
That smile can light up a room,
can't it? (CHUCKLES)
824
00:28:17,571 --> 00:28:19,607
I ain't going there.
825
00:28:23,577 --> 00:28:25,646
(TEDDY HUMMING UNDER BREATH)
826
00:28:36,457 --> 00:28:39,158
MAN:
Remember me, pendejo?
827
00:28:44,498 --> 00:28:47,098
Well, if it isn't Pubey McGee.
828
00:28:47,100 --> 00:28:49,601
The cheesecake puber
is here, huh?
829
00:28:49,603 --> 00:28:51,202
Surprised to see me, bro?
830
00:28:51,204 --> 00:28:53,238
You shouldn't be, considering
that you got me fired.
831
00:28:53,240 --> 00:28:56,174
- I did not get you fired.
- Yes, you did.
832
00:28:56,176 --> 00:28:57,409
TEDDY:
I worked in customer service
833
00:28:57,411 --> 00:28:58,844
for a long time.
Everybody knows that
834
00:28:58,846 --> 00:29:00,879
- the customer is always right.
- (CARRIE CLEARS THROAT)
835
00:29:00,881 --> 00:29:03,648
- Tips are my livelihood.
- I had a 20 coming your way.
836
00:29:03,650 --> 00:29:05,350
LUIS:
The bill was $800.
837
00:29:05,352 --> 00:29:07,819
I had a buck sixty
coming to me, man.
838
00:29:07,821 --> 00:29:09,688
- Okay. That's your fault.
- CARRIE: Okay, let's begin.
839
00:29:09,690 --> 00:29:11,723
Who here likes tacos?
840
00:29:11,725 --> 00:29:13,892
- MAN: Oh! Oh, oh.
- Ooh!
841
00:29:13,894 --> 00:29:16,294
- (CHUCKLING)
- They vegetarian?
842
00:29:16,296 --> 00:29:18,530
'Cause I don't eat meat
unless it's barbecue.
843
00:29:18,532 --> 00:29:20,197
Let's see what Teddy
brought us.
844
00:29:20,199 --> 00:29:22,400
Uh, we got carne asada.
845
00:29:22,402 --> 00:29:23,635
- There you go.
- (CHUCKLES)
846
00:29:23,637 --> 00:29:25,169
There's, uh, al pastor.
847
00:29:25,171 --> 00:29:26,504
- Oh, thanks.
- You... you like that? Um...
848
00:29:26,506 --> 00:29:27,705
Carnitas? You like carnitas?
849
00:29:27,707 --> 00:29:29,141
- There you go, girl.
- WOMAN: Ooh!
850
00:29:29,143 --> 00:29:30,742
- Uh... uh, excuse me.
- Hey!
851
00:29:30,744 --> 00:29:33,779
Carrie, I-I had actually got
those tacos for you to eat.
852
00:29:33,781 --> 00:29:35,179
I know.
853
00:29:35,181 --> 00:29:37,348
See, class, Teddy went to...
854
00:29:37,350 --> 00:29:40,184
Cactus House
to try to win me over.
855
00:29:40,186 --> 00:29:41,453
But here's the deal, Teddy.
856
00:29:41,455 --> 00:29:43,321
If you're trying
to kiss my ass,
857
00:29:43,323 --> 00:29:45,323
you're gonna have to come
a little bit better than that.
858
00:29:45,325 --> 00:29:46,925
I'm talking, like,
steamed lobster
859
00:29:46,927 --> 00:29:48,894
inside a macaroni and cheese,
860
00:29:48,896 --> 00:29:50,595
with a side of broccolini.
861
00:29:50,597 --> 00:29:52,664
You know what I'm saying?
Something fancy.
862
00:29:52,666 --> 00:29:54,666
Not no fast food place
where I could
863
00:29:54,668 --> 00:29:56,802
go buy this with my own
little raggedy paycheck.
864
00:29:56,804 --> 00:29:58,737
Well, there's actually a...
865
00:29:58,739 --> 00:30:00,771
there's actually
a special guacamole...
866
00:30:00,773 --> 00:30:04,543
If you want to succeed
in my class,
867
00:30:04,545 --> 00:30:05,811
you need to do the work.
868
00:30:05,813 --> 00:30:07,178
It's just that simple.
869
00:30:07,180 --> 00:30:08,512
- Yes?
- Uh, quick question.
870
00:30:08,514 --> 00:30:11,349
Uh, so "yes"
on the steamed lobster?
871
00:30:11,351 --> 00:30:13,317
No, sir.
872
00:30:13,319 --> 00:30:15,853
That's what I like to call
"a teachable moment."
873
00:30:15,855 --> 00:30:18,557
Okay, so no lobster.
874
00:30:18,559 --> 00:30:21,659
Um, all right, let's go ahead
and do some introductions.
875
00:30:21,661 --> 00:30:22,793
I'll start.
876
00:30:22,795 --> 00:30:24,195
My name is Carrie.
877
00:30:24,197 --> 00:30:25,630
During the day, I teach
878
00:30:25,632 --> 00:30:27,632
way too many classes
for way too little money.
879
00:30:27,634 --> 00:30:30,468
So I'm here to try to make
a little extra cash
880
00:30:30,470 --> 00:30:34,872
so I can afford such luxuries
as rent and antibiotics.
881
00:30:34,874 --> 00:30:38,242
'Cause this job makes me sick
sometimes.
882
00:30:38,244 --> 00:30:40,343
(CHUCKLES)
Uh, you're next.
883
00:30:40,345 --> 00:30:42,246
Yes, you.
884
00:30:42,248 --> 00:30:44,248
As-salaam alaikum.
885
00:30:44,250 --> 00:30:45,683
What up, though?
886
00:30:45,685 --> 00:30:47,551
Jaylen's the name.
887
00:30:47,553 --> 00:30:49,587
I've been working
for the last 14 years
888
00:30:49,589 --> 00:30:50,955
at the MacArthur Bottling Plant
889
00:30:50,957 --> 00:30:52,660
and just got replaced
by a robot.
890
00:30:53,994 --> 00:30:55,861
And my rib, my Cleopatra,
891
00:30:55,863 --> 00:30:57,762
my queen, my bottom bitch,
892
00:30:57,764 --> 00:31:00,498
my wife of 14 years,
she was like, "Yo,
893
00:31:00,500 --> 00:31:02,967
"if you want options,
you gonna have to get your GED.
894
00:31:02,969 --> 00:31:04,803
"It's either that
or end up cleaning rooms
895
00:31:04,805 --> 00:31:07,605
at the Best Western
for half your salary."
896
00:31:07,607 --> 00:31:09,640
And if you know Jay,
that ain't gonna work.
897
00:31:09,642 --> 00:31:12,643
Hey, let me...
let me just say this,
898
00:31:12,645 --> 00:31:14,979
okay, while I got the platform.
899
00:31:14,981 --> 00:31:18,616
For me, I first got woke
when I seen Terminator,
900
00:31:18,618 --> 00:31:22,386
and I realized
it wasn't just a movie;
901
00:31:22,388 --> 00:31:23,788
it was prophecy.
902
00:31:23,790 --> 00:31:26,524
First identified
by the 3.5-Percenters,
903
00:31:26,526 --> 00:31:27,792
but that's another
conversation.
904
00:31:27,794 --> 00:31:29,627
Let's just put it like this.
905
00:31:29,629 --> 00:31:31,829
The revolution
will not be roboticized.
906
00:31:31,831 --> 00:31:33,431
Mm-hmm.
907
00:31:33,433 --> 00:31:34,865
Not on Jay's watch.
908
00:31:34,867 --> 00:31:36,567
Huh?
909
00:31:36,569 --> 00:31:38,568
Real nigga shit.
910
00:31:38,570 --> 00:31:39,770
- Huh?
- CARRIE: Thank you, Jaylen.
911
00:31:39,772 --> 00:31:41,372
I'll make sure
I don't bring my Roomba
912
00:31:41,374 --> 00:31:42,473
to the next class.
913
00:31:42,475 --> 00:31:44,909
My wife takes rumba classes.
914
00:31:44,911 --> 00:31:46,811
- I don't get it.
- CARRIE: Let's keep it moving.
915
00:31:46,813 --> 00:31:48,411
Uh, how about you, ma'am?
916
00:31:48,413 --> 00:31:49,914
- Yeah.
- Oh.
917
00:31:49,916 --> 00:31:51,514
Okay. Hi, gang.
918
00:31:51,516 --> 00:31:52,783
My name is Theresa,
919
00:31:52,785 --> 00:31:54,618
and I dropped out
of high school
920
00:31:54,620 --> 00:31:56,654
when I was pregnant
with my first child.
921
00:31:56,656 --> 00:31:58,489
My now-husband, Randy,
922
00:31:58,491 --> 00:32:00,423
well, we got married
after he knocked me up.
923
00:32:00,425 --> 00:32:01,859
Then we had two more kids,
so we have
924
00:32:01,861 --> 00:32:03,626
three little rascals now,
and it's fun.
925
00:32:03,628 --> 00:32:05,362
- (IMITATES GUNSHOT)
- We're just a little underwater
926
00:32:05,364 --> 00:32:07,765
right now, so I wanted
to get my GED and hopefully
927
00:32:07,767 --> 00:32:10,300
enter the workforce
before it's too late
928
00:32:10,302 --> 00:32:12,672
and we have to live in
Randy's parents' laundry room.
929
00:32:18,544 --> 00:32:20,377
I'm blessed.
930
00:32:20,379 --> 00:32:21,812
So blessed.
931
00:32:21,814 --> 00:32:23,513
God is good.
932
00:32:23,515 --> 00:32:25,548
That's what's up.
933
00:32:25,550 --> 00:32:26,951
CARRIE:
Uh, how about you, young lady?
934
00:32:26,953 --> 00:32:28,586
Oh.
935
00:32:28,588 --> 00:32:30,855
Hey, uh, what's up?
I'm Mila.
936
00:32:30,857 --> 00:32:32,690
I got kicked out
of my high school
937
00:32:32,692 --> 00:32:34,324
because they found
some Molly in my locker.
938
00:32:34,326 --> 00:32:35,760
- Mm-hmm.
- And I can avoid juvie
939
00:32:35,762 --> 00:32:38,428
if I get my GED, so here I am.
940
00:32:38,430 --> 00:32:40,664
- I'm so psyched.
- Cool.
941
00:32:40,666 --> 00:32:43,801
Look at you, all cute,
making America great again.
942
00:32:43,803 --> 00:32:46,402
- Bitch.
- (SCOFFS)
943
00:32:46,404 --> 00:32:47,872
So, what's your story, guy?
944
00:32:47,874 --> 00:32:50,107
Um, my name is Luis Flores.
945
00:32:50,109 --> 00:32:52,375
I had a great job as a waiter.
946
00:32:52,377 --> 00:32:54,345
Lot of money in tips.
947
00:32:54,347 --> 00:32:56,981
Until I was fired
without cause.
948
00:32:56,983 --> 00:32:58,716
No reason at all.
949
00:32:58,718 --> 00:33:00,285
(WHISPERS):
Fired.
950
00:33:01,653 --> 00:33:03,453
I don't know why...
I have no idea
951
00:33:03,455 --> 00:33:04,889
why he's looking at me.
I don't...
952
00:33:04,891 --> 00:33:06,423
It's fine.
953
00:33:06,425 --> 00:33:07,792
It's just a sign that it's time
954
00:33:07,794 --> 00:33:09,126
for me to do
something different.
955
00:33:09,128 --> 00:33:10,760
You see,
I came to this country
956
00:33:10,762 --> 00:33:12,562
from Mexico
to fulfill my dream
957
00:33:12,564 --> 00:33:13,797
of being a singer/songwriter.
958
00:33:13,799 --> 00:33:15,532
Oh, like Julio Iglesias?
959
00:33:15,534 --> 00:33:18,035
No, not like Julio Iglesias.
960
00:33:18,037 --> 00:33:19,737
He sucks.
961
00:33:19,739 --> 00:33:22,039
More like Justin Bieber
962
00:33:22,041 --> 00:33:25,608
or Justin Timberlake
or T-Pain.
963
00:33:25,610 --> 00:33:28,813
(LAUGHS)
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
964
00:33:28,815 --> 00:33:31,816
Aren't you a little old
to, like, be a pop star now?
965
00:33:31,818 --> 00:33:33,451
Aren't you a little young
to die?
966
00:33:35,121 --> 00:33:37,154
That's what's up.
967
00:33:37,156 --> 00:33:40,991
But now I'm going to become
a dental "hy-enist."
968
00:33:40,993 --> 00:33:43,894
'Cause I have great teeth.
969
00:33:43,896 --> 00:33:45,895
So I think I'd be a natural.
970
00:33:45,897 --> 00:33:47,564
A what?
971
00:33:47,566 --> 00:33:49,467
Dental hy-enist.
972
00:33:50,702 --> 00:33:52,101
Maybe you should see one.
973
00:33:52,103 --> 00:33:55,638
'Cause, you know what,
pretty stinky, guys.
974
00:33:55,640 --> 00:33:56,974
MAN:
All right. Hey, everybody.
975
00:33:56,976 --> 00:33:58,175
I'm Mackenzie.
976
00:33:58,177 --> 00:33:59,809
Uh, they call me Big Mac.
977
00:33:59,811 --> 00:34:01,678
Oh, we love McDonald's.
978
00:34:01,680 --> 00:34:02,946
What?
979
00:34:02,948 --> 00:34:05,049
McDonald's?
980
00:34:05,051 --> 00:34:06,683
I'm sorry, what?
981
00:34:06,685 --> 00:34:08,620
From the burger joint,
Mickey D's.
982
00:34:09,888 --> 00:34:11,423
Ronald McDonald's.
983
00:34:12,691 --> 00:34:13,923
"Two all-beef patties,
984
00:34:13,925 --> 00:34:15,524
"special sauce,
lettuce, cheese,
985
00:34:15,526 --> 00:34:17,761
- on a sesame-seed bun."
- Hmm.
986
00:34:17,763 --> 00:34:19,629
Never heard of it?
987
00:34:19,631 --> 00:34:22,565
(WHIMPERS, GROANS)
988
00:34:22,567 --> 00:34:25,869
Ooh, it's gonna be
a long semester.
989
00:34:25,871 --> 00:34:28,171
- Go on.
- MACKENZIE: Well, anyway,
990
00:34:28,173 --> 00:34:32,508
uh, my knees and my back
are really jacked up
991
00:34:32,510 --> 00:34:35,011
from working at He-Man Movers
for 30 years,
992
00:34:35,013 --> 00:34:38,815
so I decided to get my GED
so that I could move up
993
00:34:38,817 --> 00:34:41,218
to a management position,
get off the truck.
994
00:34:41,220 --> 00:34:43,820
And my son...
we call him Little Mac...
995
00:34:43,822 --> 00:34:45,822
he has decided
to drop out of school.
996
00:34:45,824 --> 00:34:48,625
So I made a deal with him:
I get my GED,
997
00:34:48,627 --> 00:34:50,193
he gets his diploma.
998
00:34:50,195 --> 00:34:51,593
(CHUCKLES)
999
00:34:51,595 --> 00:34:53,630
Little reverse psychology.
1000
00:34:53,632 --> 00:34:55,031
All right.
1001
00:34:55,033 --> 00:34:56,566
And what's your name?
1002
00:34:56,568 --> 00:34:58,234
Hey, yo, what up? I'm Bobby.
1003
00:34:58,236 --> 00:35:00,069
That's what...
that's what I'm talking about.
1004
00:35:00,071 --> 00:35:02,906
That's Illuminati.
That's what I'm saying.
1005
00:35:02,908 --> 00:35:04,807
See, the nigga here,
but he ain't here.
1006
00:35:04,809 --> 00:35:06,643
It's like they watching you,
1007
00:35:06,645 --> 00:35:08,245
and you think
you watching them.
1008
00:35:08,247 --> 00:35:09,479
That's what they do.
1009
00:35:09,481 --> 00:35:11,014
So you got Bobby Digital.
1010
00:35:11,016 --> 00:35:12,849
He here, but he not.
1011
00:35:12,851 --> 00:35:14,217
That's Tupac Coachella.
1012
00:35:14,219 --> 00:35:15,251
(CHUCKLING):
You know what I'm saying?
1013
00:35:15,253 --> 00:35:17,121
And he in the... You see?
1014
00:35:17,123 --> 00:35:19,223
- Y'all don't...?
- All right, um...
1015
00:35:19,225 --> 00:35:21,591
That probably ain't even
a real nigga. Hey.
1016
00:35:21,593 --> 00:35:23,793
Are you on crack?
It's-it's Skype.
1017
00:35:23,795 --> 00:35:26,595
(SIGHS) Whew, boy,
it's hard to be woke.
1018
00:35:26,597 --> 00:35:27,729
(CHUCKLES)
1019
00:35:27,731 --> 00:35:29,168
It's hard to be woke.
1020
00:35:30,502 --> 00:35:32,769
What is "woke"?
1021
00:35:32,771 --> 00:35:35,672
Okay, well, welcome, everyone.
1022
00:35:35,674 --> 00:35:36,773
Really nice. We've all met.
1023
00:35:36,775 --> 00:35:38,207
Well, we didn't, uh...
1024
00:35:38,209 --> 00:35:40,109
we didn't meet...
we didn't meet everyone.
1025
00:35:40,111 --> 00:35:42,211
- I didn't, uh...
- Teddy, uh, earlier,
1026
00:35:42,213 --> 00:35:44,047
you said, unlike these folks,
1027
00:35:44,049 --> 00:35:46,548
you're not a night school
type of person,
1028
00:35:46,550 --> 00:35:49,551
so I didn't think you cared.
1029
00:35:49,553 --> 00:35:51,187
JAYLEN:
Is that right?
1030
00:35:51,189 --> 00:35:53,122
TEDDY:
Well, you didn't...
1031
00:35:53,124 --> 00:35:55,291
you didn't hear it right,
'cause I would never say that
1032
00:35:55,293 --> 00:35:57,260
about people that I don't know.
1033
00:35:57,262 --> 00:35:59,162
You know what?
This is a perfect segue.
1034
00:35:59,164 --> 00:36:01,530
I'll just follow your lead,
and I'll stand up.
1035
00:36:01,532 --> 00:36:03,031
I am Teddy Walker.
1036
00:36:03,033 --> 00:36:06,002
Uh, a little fun fact about me:
I actually went here.
1037
00:36:06,004 --> 00:36:08,738
- Oh.
- I'm also newly engaged.
1038
00:36:08,740 --> 00:36:10,605
His fiancée is out
of his league.
1039
00:36:10,607 --> 00:36:11,740
I'm sorry, what?
1040
00:36:11,742 --> 00:36:12,841
Nothing. You're doing great.
1041
00:36:12,843 --> 00:36:14,110
I said, "Keep going.
1042
00:36:14,112 --> 00:36:15,811
Everybody loves you."
1043
00:36:15,813 --> 00:36:17,613
CARRIE: How does
your fiancée feel about
1044
00:36:17,615 --> 00:36:18,614
you being in night school?
1045
00:36:18,616 --> 00:36:19,782
(HIGH-PITCHED):
Oh, she good.
1046
00:36:19,784 --> 00:36:21,918
She loves it.
1047
00:36:21,920 --> 00:36:23,919
(CHUCKLES)
He ain't told her shit.
1048
00:36:23,921 --> 00:36:25,121
TEDDY:
She loves it.
1049
00:36:25,123 --> 00:36:26,655
I noticed that your voice
1050
00:36:26,657 --> 00:36:28,156
just went up a whole octave.
1051
00:36:28,158 --> 00:36:31,626
Now, from my studies
of psychology in grad school,
1052
00:36:31,628 --> 00:36:34,563
I know that that means
that you're bullshitting.
1053
00:36:34,565 --> 00:36:35,931
Ain't no bullshit in me.
1054
00:36:35,933 --> 00:36:37,899
I tell you what...
if you're lying with her,
1055
00:36:37,901 --> 00:36:40,068
- don't lie to her.
- But I don't... I don't lie.
1056
00:36:40,070 --> 00:36:41,738
Sound like some bullshit to me.
1057
00:36:41,740 --> 00:36:43,006
Everyone sees
right through you.
1058
00:36:43,008 --> 00:36:44,573
- Okay, how about we...?
- Mm-hmm.
1059
00:36:44,575 --> 00:36:46,641
If we go by your theory
about the voice thing...
1060
00:36:46,643 --> 00:36:47,976
I think that we're...
I think that we're all
1061
00:36:47,978 --> 00:36:49,278
- getting off track.
- ...he's lied four times.
1062
00:36:49,280 --> 00:36:51,079
This boy definitely lying.
1063
00:36:51,081 --> 00:36:53,116
- I am not.
- You can't outsmart Mother Nature.
1064
00:36:53,118 --> 00:36:54,350
And that's what...
that-that's what a woman is.
1065
00:36:54,352 --> 00:36:56,685
- Brother.
- Especially a black woman.
1066
00:36:56,687 --> 00:36:57,987
- You know, how...
- That's correct.
1067
00:36:57,989 --> 00:36:59,921
- Girls are smart, dude.
- Goddamn it.
1068
00:36:59,923 --> 00:37:00,756
- Like, literally, damn it.
- (OTHERS MURMURING)
1069
00:37:00,758 --> 00:37:02,624
Even if he didn't tell her,
so what?
1070
00:37:02,626 --> 00:37:03,692
- Okay, here's the thing.
- I told Randy
1071
00:37:03,694 --> 00:37:05,762
that he was the first guy
I slept with... not true.
1072
00:37:05,764 --> 00:37:07,330
Hey, I'm trying to introduce
myself, and I can't...
1073
00:37:07,332 --> 00:37:09,198
You don't respect your queen,
'cause if you did,
1074
00:37:09,200 --> 00:37:10,866
- that bitch would know where you at.
- Okay.
1075
00:37:10,868 --> 00:37:12,268
Teddy.
1076
00:37:12,270 --> 00:37:13,235
Don't lie to your queen.
1077
00:37:13,237 --> 00:37:14,369
- Okay, guys.
- JAYLEN: If you're busting off
1078
00:37:14,371 --> 00:37:17,140
in her guts like that,
she might be carrying your seed.
1079
00:37:17,142 --> 00:37:18,274
I feel like
this conversation...
1080
00:37:18,276 --> 00:37:19,841
So you ain't just lying to her;
you lying to your child.
1081
00:37:19,843 --> 00:37:21,044
- Shit!
- If it's your bottom bitch,
1082
00:37:21,046 --> 00:37:22,044
she know you stupid, fam.
1083
00:37:22,046 --> 00:37:24,046
- All I'm saying, fam, look-look...
- Forget it.
1084
00:37:24,048 --> 00:37:26,114
- Okay.
- How your fiancée don't know where you at?
1085
00:37:26,116 --> 00:37:27,682
It's after dark. (CHUCKLES)
1086
00:37:27,684 --> 00:37:28,851
This ain't Halloween, fam.
1087
00:37:28,853 --> 00:37:29,986
I'm done.
1088
00:37:29,988 --> 00:37:32,221
My sister know
where I'm at, okay?
1089
00:37:32,223 --> 00:37:34,623
And she live all the way
in Arkansas.
1090
00:37:34,625 --> 00:37:36,825
Okay. Here's the deal, class.
1091
00:37:36,827 --> 00:37:39,728
You will be given homework
every night
1092
00:37:39,730 --> 00:37:41,197
just like regular high school.
1093
00:37:41,199 --> 00:37:42,764
- (GROANS)
- And now...
1094
00:37:42,766 --> 00:37:44,267
a pop quiz
1095
00:37:44,269 --> 00:37:47,936
just so I can get a better idea
of where you all are.
1096
00:37:47,938 --> 00:37:50,005
Wait, wait. We got a...
we got a test on the first day?
1097
00:37:50,007 --> 00:37:53,109
Teddy, it's a pop quiz, okay?
1098
00:37:53,111 --> 00:37:54,410
Look here, folks.
1099
00:37:54,412 --> 00:37:57,879
I am here to teach
if you're here to learn.
1100
00:37:57,881 --> 00:38:01,416
Otherwise, you can get out
of my class right now.
1101
00:38:01,418 --> 00:38:03,285
That's what's up.
1102
00:38:03,287 --> 00:38:05,589
Welcome to night school.
1103
00:38:08,259 --> 00:38:10,659
There you go.
1104
00:38:10,661 --> 00:38:12,427
It was terrible, man.
Terrible!
1105
00:38:12,429 --> 00:38:13,929
Like, she's not like
the teachers
1106
00:38:13,931 --> 00:38:15,330
that we had back in the day.
1107
00:38:15,332 --> 00:38:17,400
- What?
- This woman is a brick wall,
1108
00:38:17,402 --> 00:38:18,967
and I can't...
I can't work her.
1109
00:38:18,969 --> 00:38:21,236
I can't work a brick wall.
1110
00:38:21,238 --> 00:38:22,204
What are you...
what are you doing?
1111
00:38:22,206 --> 00:38:24,272
I'm working out.
I'm trying to shed some LBs.
1112
00:38:24,274 --> 00:38:26,674
- I want to feel fit.
- Uh, why am I even asking?
1113
00:38:26,676 --> 00:38:28,977
In the meantime, please stop
paying for everything,
1114
00:38:28,979 --> 00:38:31,447
and you have to get a temp job.
1115
00:38:31,449 --> 00:38:33,849
- You don't think I've been looking for a job?
- (WHIMPERS)
1116
00:38:33,851 --> 00:38:36,184
What are you, crazy?
I'm on a treadmill.
1117
00:38:36,186 --> 00:38:38,286
The jobs that I want,
they are not
1118
00:38:38,288 --> 00:38:40,755
going to give
to a high school dropout.
1119
00:38:40,757 --> 00:38:42,358
Well, you can't keep
lying to Lisa.
1120
00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:43,559
Okay?
You know what, I'm gonna go
1121
00:38:43,561 --> 00:38:45,827
on Monster.com right now,
see if anything new popped up.
1122
00:38:45,829 --> 00:38:48,063
What are you going...
what are you going to find
1123
00:38:48,065 --> 00:38:49,364
- on Monster.com?
- Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
1124
00:38:49,366 --> 00:38:50,965
Okay, here we go.
"Sales associate wanted.
1125
00:38:50,967 --> 00:38:52,968
Marketing skills a must."
1126
00:38:52,970 --> 00:38:54,903
And... wait for it.
1127
00:38:54,905 --> 00:38:57,139
"No GED required." (LAUGHS)
1128
00:38:57,141 --> 00:38:59,241
You gotta jump on this, man.
This is perfect.
1129
00:38:59,243 --> 00:39:00,908
(PASSING VEHICLE HONKING HORN)
1130
00:39:00,910 --> 00:39:02,845
♪
1131
00:39:05,416 --> 00:39:07,351
(HORN HONKING)
1132
00:39:14,458 --> 00:39:16,994
It's chicken from the Lord.
1133
00:39:18,095 --> 00:39:19,861
So he... so he made it?
1134
00:39:19,863 --> 00:39:21,331
Yes, sir, he did.
1135
00:39:22,499 --> 00:39:24,132
Yeah.
1136
00:39:24,134 --> 00:39:26,033
I-I can...
I can work with this.
1137
00:39:26,035 --> 00:39:28,136
- You can?
- Yeah.
1138
00:39:28,138 --> 00:39:30,038
Basically,
what you want to do...
1139
00:39:30,040 --> 00:39:33,108
you want to... you want to
uplift your customers' palate.
1140
00:39:33,110 --> 00:39:34,742
- Yes, sir.
- When they bite
1141
00:39:34,744 --> 00:39:36,877
into your food,
you want their taste buds
1142
00:39:36,879 --> 00:39:38,946
to scream out, "Hallelujah!"
1143
00:39:38,948 --> 00:39:40,115
Preach it, Brother Teddy.
1144
00:39:40,117 --> 00:39:41,449
You are a godsend.
1145
00:39:41,451 --> 00:39:43,018
I'm a salesman, man.
1146
00:39:43,020 --> 00:39:44,386
That's what I do, okay?
1147
00:39:44,388 --> 00:39:46,787
Now, when it comes to titles,
I don't even care.
1148
00:39:46,789 --> 00:39:48,390
"Marketing director"...
that's up to you.
1149
00:39:48,392 --> 00:39:51,091
"WWJD," at this point.
"What would Jesus do?"
1150
00:39:51,093 --> 00:39:52,394
- Yes, sir.
- The one thing that I ask
1151
00:39:52,396 --> 00:39:53,929
is for you to be flexible
with the hours,
1152
00:39:53,931 --> 00:39:55,363
'cause I'm getting my GED.
1153
00:39:55,365 --> 00:39:57,165
You are bettering yourself,
Brother Teddy.
1154
00:39:57,167 --> 00:39:59,334
- Yeah.
- That's what being a Christian is all about.
1155
00:39:59,336 --> 00:40:01,135
Yeah, amen to that.
1156
00:40:01,137 --> 00:40:02,136
(CHUCKLING):
Amen.
1157
00:40:02,138 --> 00:40:03,706
- Yeah.
- Glory be.
1158
00:40:04,875 --> 00:40:06,243
This should fit you perfectly.
1159
00:40:07,544 --> 00:40:08,543
Brother Teddy,
1160
00:40:08,545 --> 00:40:10,445
I have been waiting on the Lord
1161
00:40:10,447 --> 00:40:12,347
to bring me a pint-sized
little man like you
1162
00:40:12,349 --> 00:40:15,818
to fill this out,
and here you are.
1163
00:40:17,187 --> 00:40:19,020
I'm-I'm not gonna do that.
1164
00:40:19,022 --> 00:40:22,089
Brother Isaac,
I-I'm a black man.
1165
00:40:22,091 --> 00:40:25,392
I can't put on
a chicken suit in 2018
1166
00:40:25,394 --> 00:40:27,928
and stand on the side
of a highway
1167
00:40:27,930 --> 00:40:30,098
and hawk no goddamn chicken.
1168
00:40:30,100 --> 00:40:31,566
Now, if the marketing position
isn't what you
1169
00:40:31,568 --> 00:40:32,933
had in mind, we can figure...
1170
00:40:32,935 --> 00:40:34,068
- (ORGAN PLAYING)
- What is going on?
1171
00:40:34,070 --> 00:40:36,203
You know what? We're gonna
have to put a pin in that.
1172
00:40:36,205 --> 00:40:37,938
- Is that a fire drill?
- All right, everybody.
1173
00:40:37,940 --> 00:40:39,473
Let's gather round.
The hour is upon us.
1174
00:40:39,475 --> 00:40:40,976
Where's the closest exit?
1175
00:40:40,978 --> 00:40:43,044
- It is time to pray.
- It's time to what?
1176
00:40:43,046 --> 00:40:45,045
It's time to pray.
Gather round.
1177
00:40:45,047 --> 00:40:46,914
Goddamn. What is your deal?
1178
00:40:46,916 --> 00:40:49,216
- What's...? Hey, lady.
- Dear Lord: We thank you
1179
00:40:49,218 --> 00:40:50,484
for bringing little Teddy to us
1180
00:40:50,486 --> 00:40:51,819
- here this morning.
- MAN: Yes, sir.
1181
00:40:51,821 --> 00:40:53,021
This little chickadee...
1182
00:40:53,023 --> 00:40:54,222
- Huh?
- ...is gonna share the word
1183
00:40:54,224 --> 00:40:55,956
about your precious poultry
with the world.
1184
00:40:55,958 --> 00:40:57,891
What I'm not gonna do
is do it in...
1185
00:40:57,893 --> 00:40:59,260
Ma'am, ma'am.
1186
00:40:59,262 --> 00:41:01,295
Strong hands!
1187
00:41:01,297 --> 00:41:03,097
Excuse me!
1188
00:41:03,099 --> 00:41:06,000
What I'm not gonna do is do it
in the chick... Goddamn.
1189
00:41:06,002 --> 00:41:07,101
Brother Teddy...
1190
00:41:07,103 --> 00:41:08,370
- He's in you.
- (GRUNTING QUIETLY)
1191
00:41:08,372 --> 00:41:09,471
He's in you, ain't he?
1192
00:41:09,473 --> 00:41:10,871
Chicken suit or not,
1193
00:41:10,873 --> 00:41:12,506
we are all praying together
right now
1194
00:41:12,508 --> 00:41:14,842
that you're gonna find
your nest here with us today.
1195
00:41:14,844 --> 00:41:16,910
- Okay.
- Amen and amen.
1196
00:41:16,912 --> 00:41:19,179
- GROUP: Amen!
- (MURMURING)
1197
00:41:19,181 --> 00:41:20,114
MAN:
Amen. Yes, sir!
1198
00:41:20,116 --> 00:41:21,148
- Welcome, Brother Teddy.
- (TEDDY MUTTERING)
1199
00:41:21,150 --> 00:41:23,183
ISAAC: All right, everybody,
this is a big day.
1200
00:41:23,185 --> 00:41:25,152
Hey, brother, let me holler
at you real quick.
1201
00:41:25,154 --> 00:41:26,453
Are y'all in the Sunken Place?
1202
00:41:26,455 --> 00:41:28,189
Let's share Jesus
through our food. Let's go.
1203
00:41:28,191 --> 00:41:29,591
The lunch rush is upon us.
1204
00:41:29,593 --> 00:41:30,991
What... lunch rush?
1205
00:41:30,993 --> 00:41:32,092
It's 10:00 a.m.
1206
00:41:32,094 --> 00:41:33,460
I don't understand
1207
00:41:33,462 --> 00:41:34,962
how that could be considered
a lunch rush.
1208
00:41:34,964 --> 00:41:36,597
Trust me, Brother Teddy.
1209
00:41:36,599 --> 00:41:39,333
Okay, if there... if-if there's
any way that I can just talk
1210
00:41:39,335 --> 00:41:41,336
- to you about the...
- Good morning, ladies.
1211
00:41:41,338 --> 00:41:42,537
Hello, Cinnamon.
1212
00:41:42,539 --> 00:41:43,538
Roxy.
1213
00:41:43,540 --> 00:41:44,972
Hello, ladies.
1214
00:41:44,974 --> 00:41:46,307
Tootie, how was the shift?
1215
00:41:46,309 --> 00:41:47,875
Hollywood, how you doing?
1216
00:41:47,877 --> 00:41:49,443
Good to see you, Leigh.
1217
00:41:49,445 --> 00:41:51,111
Hello, Veronica,
how was your shift?
1218
00:41:51,113 --> 00:41:53,881
Roxy, good to see you.
1219
00:41:53,883 --> 00:41:55,818
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
1220
00:42:02,558 --> 00:42:04,592
CARRIE: Now, from your first
night of homework,
1221
00:42:04,594 --> 00:42:09,063
you all should be very familiar
with the Pythagorean theorem.
1222
00:42:09,065 --> 00:42:10,297
All right? Say it with me.
1223
00:42:10,299 --> 00:42:11,532
"Pythagorean..."
1224
00:42:11,534 --> 00:42:12,566
GROUP:
"Pythagorean."
1225
00:42:12,568 --> 00:42:13,567
"Pathygorinean."
1226
00:42:13,569 --> 00:42:14,967
- "Theorem."
- GROUP: "Theorem."
1227
00:42:14,969 --> 00:42:16,103
- "Theorem."
- That's how you say it.
1228
00:42:16,105 --> 00:42:17,505
That's what it is.
1229
00:42:17,507 --> 00:42:19,973
Hey, yo, Bobby, watch out, fam!
1230
00:42:19,975 --> 00:42:22,009
- My God.
- Oh!
1231
00:42:22,011 --> 00:42:23,243
- BOBBY: What?!
- Ooh.
1232
00:42:23,245 --> 00:42:25,145
- (GRUNTING AND GROANING)
- Oh!
1233
00:42:25,147 --> 00:42:27,981
- (SHOUTING AND HOLLERING)
- MILA: Shit.
1234
00:42:27,983 --> 00:42:30,084
BOBBY: Can't you see
I'm trying to learn?
1235
00:42:30,086 --> 00:42:31,653
Someone ought to call the cops.
1236
00:42:31,655 --> 00:42:33,987
- What's happening?
- BOBBY: Take that!
1237
00:42:33,989 --> 00:42:35,489
- (ALARM BLARING)
- (YELLING)
1238
00:42:35,491 --> 00:42:37,224
- Ooh!
- Jesus.
1239
00:42:37,226 --> 00:42:38,925
BOBBY:
Get off me! Get off me!
1240
00:42:38,927 --> 00:42:40,361
He's getting up, he's
getting up, he's getting up.
1241
00:42:40,363 --> 00:42:41,563
Watch out, fam!
Behind you, nigga!
1242
00:42:41,565 --> 00:42:43,430
- Oh, my God.
- Oh!
1243
00:42:43,432 --> 00:42:44,998
Oh, he just kicked him
in the...
1244
00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:46,266
- Oh, my God!
- Oh!
1245
00:42:46,268 --> 00:42:49,168
- (LAUGHING)
- (GRUNTING AND GROANING)
1246
00:42:49,170 --> 00:42:50,571
- Oh! Enough!
- BOBBY: Yeah! Yeah!
1247
00:42:50,573 --> 00:42:52,039
Finish him! Step on his head!
1248
00:42:52,041 --> 00:42:53,207
(MAN SCREAMING)
1249
00:42:53,209 --> 00:42:54,641
- Come here. Break it up.
- Come on!
1250
00:42:54,643 --> 00:42:56,643
- Up!
- (GRUNTING AND GROANING)
1251
00:42:56,645 --> 00:42:58,412
- Hey, come on!
- Oh, hey, man!
1252
00:42:58,414 --> 00:42:59,513
I didn't do shit.
1253
00:42:59,515 --> 00:43:01,615
That's the stuff right there.
1254
00:43:01,617 --> 00:43:03,383
Reminds me of the old days.
1255
00:43:03,385 --> 00:43:06,086
- (BOBBY SIGHS)
- (ALARM CONTINUES BLARING)
1256
00:43:06,088 --> 00:43:08,455
They had the wrong guy.
1257
00:43:08,457 --> 00:43:10,224
- Please continue.
- You sure you cool,
1258
00:43:10,226 --> 00:43:11,658
or do we need to just chill
1259
00:43:11,660 --> 00:43:13,627
and wait for you
to make a new shank?
1260
00:43:13,629 --> 00:43:17,030
Please continue
with the Pythagorean...
1261
00:43:17,032 --> 00:43:18,599
"theory-em."
1262
00:43:18,601 --> 00:43:21,068
O-Okay.
1263
00:43:21,070 --> 00:43:22,736
You know what we
ought to do for Bobby?
1264
00:43:22,738 --> 00:43:25,204
We should get him, like,
some smokes,
1265
00:43:25,206 --> 00:43:26,740
'cause that stuff
is like currency in prison.
1266
00:43:26,742 --> 00:43:28,108
That and ass.
1267
00:43:28,110 --> 00:43:29,443
CARRIE:
Okay, here we go.
1268
00:43:29,445 --> 00:43:32,045
So, this is what we call
a right triangle.
1269
00:43:32,047 --> 00:43:35,549
And we already know the value
of two sides of the triangle.
1270
00:43:35,551 --> 00:43:38,151
- Oh...
- That should make it very easy for us
1271
00:43:38,153 --> 00:43:40,554
- to calculate the hypotenuse.
- Mmm, mmm.
1272
00:43:40,556 --> 00:43:44,725
A-squared plus B-squared
equals C-squared.
1273
00:43:44,727 --> 00:43:46,092
Say that with me, guys.
1274
00:43:46,094 --> 00:43:48,762
ALL:
A-squared plus B-squared
1275
00:43:48,764 --> 00:43:51,264
- equals C-squared.
- (CHUCKLING)
1276
00:43:51,266 --> 00:43:53,267
Very good. Uh, Teddy?
1277
00:43:53,269 --> 00:43:54,735
You seem to be getting
a real kick out of this.
1278
00:43:54,737 --> 00:43:56,770
She got you, Teddy!
1279
00:43:56,772 --> 00:43:59,105
You want to come up
and solve the problem?
1280
00:43:59,107 --> 00:44:00,542
Busted!
1281
00:44:03,178 --> 00:44:05,112
If, uh, that's what you...
1282
00:44:05,114 --> 00:44:07,381
if that's what you
want me to do.
1283
00:44:07,383 --> 00:44:08,315
(ECHOING):
Come on up.
1284
00:44:08,317 --> 00:44:09,716
MACKENZIE: Come on, Teddy.
You got this.
1285
00:44:09,718 --> 00:44:10,717
(CLAPPING)
1286
00:44:10,719 --> 00:44:12,351
You got this, Teddy.
Teddy!
1287
00:44:12,353 --> 00:44:14,187
Teddy! Teddy!
1288
00:44:14,189 --> 00:44:16,690
Teddy! Ted, Teddy, Teddy!
1289
00:44:16,692 --> 00:44:19,295
♪
1290
00:44:24,032 --> 00:44:26,167
CARRIE (ECHOING):
Find the value of C.
1291
00:44:39,347 --> 00:44:40,616
You know what?
1292
00:44:41,617 --> 00:44:43,417
(GRUNTING RAPIDLY)
1293
00:44:43,419 --> 00:44:45,552
I think there's something
in here.
1294
00:44:45,554 --> 00:44:48,454
(IMITATING AIR HORN BLARING)
1295
00:44:48,456 --> 00:44:51,426
Yo, yo, yo!
What up, my night school?
1296
00:44:52,528 --> 00:44:55,261
Who you looking for, fam?
1297
00:44:55,263 --> 00:44:57,129
I'm the principal
of this high school,
1298
00:44:57,131 --> 00:44:59,634
and I'm just dropping by
to check on...
1299
00:45:01,269 --> 00:45:02,702
What is he doing here?
1300
00:45:02,704 --> 00:45:05,772
I'm studying to get my GED,
like everybody else.
1301
00:45:05,774 --> 00:45:10,109
So, if you don't mind, I'd like
to get back to learning.
1302
00:45:10,111 --> 00:45:11,677
(CHUCKLES)
1303
00:45:11,679 --> 00:45:13,479
STEWART:
Of course.
1304
00:45:13,481 --> 00:45:14,614
My apologies for interrupting.
1305
00:45:14,616 --> 00:45:16,148
Thank you.
1306
00:45:16,150 --> 00:45:19,418
Actually,
I would like to observe
1307
00:45:19,420 --> 00:45:21,354
for a minute, if that's okay.
1308
00:45:21,356 --> 00:45:24,524
Please, continue solving
the problem.
1309
00:45:24,526 --> 00:45:26,327
Forget I'm here.
1310
00:45:27,629 --> 00:45:28,664
Cool.
1311
00:45:29,765 --> 00:45:31,631
That's fine with me.
1312
00:45:31,633 --> 00:45:33,867
Okay, so if I'm gonna do this,
1313
00:45:33,869 --> 00:45:35,868
let's do it step by step.
Let's make sure we do it right.
1314
00:45:35,870 --> 00:45:38,504
First things first...
let's get rid of this line.
1315
00:45:38,506 --> 00:45:39,773
(CHUCKLING)
1316
00:45:39,775 --> 00:45:41,340
Because it's written sloppy.
1317
00:45:41,342 --> 00:45:43,242
- So let's get that baby in there.
- (HUSHED): Eight.
1318
00:45:43,244 --> 00:45:44,277
Right?
1319
00:45:44,279 --> 00:45:45,411
- Huh.
- We got these three sides.
1320
00:45:45,413 --> 00:45:47,380
Got A, B, C. Let's split that.
1321
00:45:47,382 --> 00:45:48,581
That's there.
1322
00:45:48,583 --> 00:45:49,715
- Take these twos away.
- Mmm...
1323
00:45:49,717 --> 00:45:51,216
He don't know the answer.
1324
00:45:51,218 --> 00:45:53,252
Because that's what
confuses you.
1325
00:45:53,254 --> 00:45:56,188
And then...
1326
00:45:56,190 --> 00:45:57,757
- I'm realizing what it is.
- Eight!
1327
00:45:57,759 --> 00:45:59,191
The answer's five.
1328
00:45:59,193 --> 00:46:00,459
It's five.
1329
00:46:00,461 --> 00:46:01,861
Easy.
1330
00:46:01,863 --> 00:46:03,897
Okay, you're looking
at five-squared.
1331
00:46:03,899 --> 00:46:06,165
Me up here, I don't have time.
1332
00:46:06,167 --> 00:46:08,367
I don't have time.
Why do I even waste my time?
1333
00:46:08,369 --> 00:46:09,802
I don't have
time to waste my time
1334
00:46:09,804 --> 00:46:11,203
on the Pythagorean theorem.
It's simple.
1335
00:46:11,205 --> 00:46:12,438
- It's simple.
- STEWART: Wow.
1336
00:46:12,440 --> 00:46:15,575
That is very impressive, Teddy.
1337
00:46:15,577 --> 00:46:17,376
Very impressive.
1338
00:46:17,378 --> 00:46:20,479
I look forward to seeing
how you do on the midterm.
1339
00:46:20,481 --> 00:46:21,881
My midterm.
1340
00:46:21,883 --> 00:46:23,749
All right.
1341
00:46:23,751 --> 00:46:25,585
CARRIE:
Are we done here, Stewart,
1342
00:46:25,587 --> 00:46:28,621
or do you want to teach the
rest of the class for tonight?
1343
00:46:28,623 --> 00:46:30,256
Carry on, Carrie.
1344
00:46:30,258 --> 00:46:32,258
I don't like his attitude.
1345
00:46:32,260 --> 00:46:34,161
You all have a wonderful class.
1346
00:46:35,396 --> 00:46:37,797
- JAYLEN: Oy!
- MACKENZIE: What?
1347
00:46:37,799 --> 00:46:40,499
MILA:
God, that guy is a douchebag.
1348
00:46:40,501 --> 00:46:42,401
Are we just gonna gloss
over the fact
1349
00:46:42,403 --> 00:46:44,737
that we just watched
a prison fight?
1350
00:46:44,739 --> 00:46:46,806
- MACKENZIE: How many classes do we have left?
- (SIGHING)
1351
00:46:46,808 --> 00:46:49,574
LUIS: I actually have to work
for four hours right now.
1352
00:46:49,576 --> 00:46:52,812
I can give you a ride home
for ten bucks, if you want.
1353
00:46:52,814 --> 00:46:54,647
Hey, Carrie. Hey.
1354
00:46:54,649 --> 00:46:55,881
(SIGHS)
1355
00:46:55,883 --> 00:46:57,650
That was real cool what you did
1356
00:46:57,652 --> 00:46:59,351
for me in there
at the blackboard.
1357
00:46:59,353 --> 00:47:00,352
You know, that's what
I was talking about
1358
00:47:00,354 --> 00:47:01,887
when I just say
"watching out for each other."
1359
00:47:01,889 --> 00:47:04,557
You know, you scratch my back,
I'll scratch yours?
1360
00:47:04,559 --> 00:47:06,559
Oh, there's not gonna be any
more back-scratching, Teddy.
1361
00:47:06,561 --> 00:47:08,761
That's the last time
that happens.
1362
00:47:08,763 --> 00:47:11,764
And what was really going on
with you at the board anyways?
1363
00:47:11,766 --> 00:47:12,765
Nothing.
1364
00:47:12,767 --> 00:47:14,332
(CHUCKLES) Nothing.
1365
00:47:14,334 --> 00:47:16,569
No, I was just...
I wasn't prepared.
1366
00:47:16,571 --> 00:47:18,638
If you're not gonna
do the work, drop the class.
1367
00:47:18,640 --> 00:47:19,772
Why would you...?
No, Carrie.
1368
00:47:19,774 --> 00:47:21,741
Hey, I'm gonna do the work.
1369
00:47:21,743 --> 00:47:23,341
- You'll see.
- We'll see.
1370
00:47:23,343 --> 00:47:25,443
- Yes, we will.
- Great.
1371
00:47:25,445 --> 00:47:26,946
- Superb.
- Excellent.
1372
00:47:26,948 --> 00:47:28,347
- Good.
- Mm-hmm.
1373
00:47:28,349 --> 00:47:30,852
(EXHALING THROUGH LIPS)
1374
00:47:34,789 --> 00:47:36,688
Shit.
1375
00:47:36,690 --> 00:47:38,759
Honey, I'm home.
1376
00:47:42,997 --> 00:47:44,699
You sleeping?
1377
00:47:45,867 --> 00:47:47,467
- (LISA GRUNTS SOFTLY)
- You up?
1378
00:47:49,736 --> 00:47:51,739
(SIGHING)
1379
00:47:53,307 --> 00:47:54,407
(GRUNTS SOFTLY)
1380
00:47:54,409 --> 00:47:55,541
(CLEARS THROAT)
1381
00:47:55,543 --> 00:47:57,342
(SIGHS)
1382
00:47:57,344 --> 00:47:59,411
Excuse me.
1383
00:47:59,413 --> 00:48:01,346
Booty look good, don't it?
1384
00:48:01,348 --> 00:48:03,849
Too bad your face gonna be
in between them books
1385
00:48:03,851 --> 00:48:05,518
and not them cheeks.
1386
00:48:05,520 --> 00:48:07,019
(SIGHS, GROANS)
1387
00:48:07,021 --> 00:48:08,388
Go study.
1388
00:48:09,489 --> 00:48:10,555
(GROANS)
1389
00:48:10,557 --> 00:48:11,591
I don't want to study.
1390
00:48:12,859 --> 00:48:14,459
Mmm.
1391
00:48:14,461 --> 00:48:15,863
♪
1392
00:48:17,532 --> 00:48:19,865
Come on, Teddy. Focus.
1393
00:48:19,867 --> 00:48:21,299
Focus, Teddy.
1394
00:48:21,301 --> 00:48:22,436
- (CHAIR DRAGS ON FLOOR)
- Focus!
1395
00:48:25,772 --> 00:48:27,505
You'll never get it!
1396
00:48:27,507 --> 00:48:29,475
- (GRUNTS, SIGHS)
- Give it back!
1397
00:48:29,477 --> 00:48:31,609
LUIS:
Hey, guys, this is my demo.
1398
00:48:31,611 --> 00:48:33,511
♪ No matter what it takes,
you know ♪
1399
00:48:33,513 --> 00:48:35,447
♪ I'm always gonna
keep on fighting ♪
1400
00:48:35,449 --> 00:48:36,715
- ♪ I'm fighting...
- (PHONE BEEPS)
1401
00:48:36,717 --> 00:48:38,616
(CHUCKLES)
1402
00:48:38,618 --> 00:48:40,786
Little Mac! What are you doing?
1403
00:48:40,788 --> 00:48:42,320
That's my phone.
Those were my notes.
1404
00:48:42,322 --> 00:48:43,555
- You should be studying.
- (PHONE CLATTERS)
1405
00:48:43,557 --> 00:48:45,925
What the hell?
Don't be such a dick.
1406
00:48:45,927 --> 00:48:47,292
- You're gonna study!
- I hate you!
1407
00:48:47,294 --> 00:48:48,626
(GRUNTING)
1408
00:48:48,628 --> 00:48:49,928
What's the circumference
of that pizza?
1409
00:48:49,930 --> 00:48:50,929
The diameter.
1410
00:48:50,931 --> 00:48:53,498
Just tell me, how many
pepperonis on the pizza?
1411
00:48:53,500 --> 00:48:54,599
I'm giving you one star.
1412
00:48:54,601 --> 00:48:56,668
I'm gonna drop you off here
in a bad neighborhood.
1413
00:48:56,670 --> 00:48:57,769
How about that?
1414
00:48:57,771 --> 00:48:59,637
- (HORN HONKING)
- MAN: Theresa!
1415
00:48:59,639 --> 00:49:01,005
It's after 10:00. Hello!
1416
00:49:01,007 --> 00:49:02,372
That's my Randy.
1417
00:49:02,374 --> 00:49:03,943
Sweetest guy on earth.
1418
00:49:03,945 --> 00:49:06,078
Does anybody else want to try
to take a crack at this?
1419
00:49:06,080 --> 00:49:08,379
- I'm kind of busy right now.
- Mmm!
1420
00:49:08,381 --> 00:49:10,014
Babe, you seen my Wite-Out?
1421
00:49:10,016 --> 00:49:12,016
What the...? Oh, hell no.
1422
00:49:12,018 --> 00:49:13,618
Trina.
1423
00:49:13,620 --> 00:49:16,789
What-what-what-what,
you got robotic side dick now?
1424
00:49:16,791 --> 00:49:18,690
"Fat asses."
1425
00:49:18,692 --> 00:49:20,759
You know what fat asses like?
1426
00:49:20,761 --> 00:49:22,427
Dudes that have a real job.
1427
00:49:22,429 --> 00:49:24,362
- Teddy!
- Get your ass out.
1428
00:49:24,364 --> 00:49:26,530
Teddy, if you don't pass
that midterm,
1429
00:49:26,532 --> 00:49:28,433
no way homegirl stays with you.
1430
00:49:28,435 --> 00:49:29,869
Huh?
1431
00:49:29,871 --> 00:49:31,603
Think about that.
1432
00:49:31,605 --> 00:49:32,971
We're gonna have
to steal the test.
1433
00:49:32,973 --> 00:49:33,972
MACKENZIE:
Whoa.
1434
00:49:33,974 --> 00:49:35,440
Mind meld.
1435
00:49:35,442 --> 00:49:36,875
I was thinking
the exact same thing.
1436
00:49:36,877 --> 00:49:38,442
JAYLEN:
If we being real with it,
1437
00:49:38,444 --> 00:49:40,012
I need as much help
as I can get.
1438
00:49:40,014 --> 00:49:42,981
Going from capping bottles
to hypotenuses and all that,
1439
00:49:42,983 --> 00:49:45,483
I'm just as confounded
by the material
1440
00:49:45,485 --> 00:49:47,685
as the rest of y'all.
Feel me?
1441
00:49:47,687 --> 00:49:50,587
I really hate to admit it,
but with the language barrier
1442
00:49:50,589 --> 00:49:53,125
and all the Lyft driving
I've been doing,
1443
00:49:53,127 --> 00:49:54,926
I'm struggling as well, guys.
1444
00:49:54,928 --> 00:49:57,764
THERESA:
I think a caper sounds fun.
1445
00:49:59,499 --> 00:50:01,132
When'd you get here, Theresa?
1446
00:50:01,134 --> 00:50:03,001
Oh, I've been here
the whole time.
1447
00:50:03,003 --> 00:50:04,636
People never notice me.
1448
00:50:04,638 --> 00:50:06,504
It happens all the time.
It's...
1449
00:50:06,506 --> 00:50:08,907
kind of like a superpower,
but...
1450
00:50:08,909 --> 00:50:11,545
one that comes
with a crushing loneliness.
1451
00:50:14,814 --> 00:50:17,448
I'm blessed. I'm so blessed.
1452
00:50:17,450 --> 00:50:19,150
Yeah, God is good.
1453
00:50:19,152 --> 00:50:20,451
Mm-hmm.
1454
00:50:20,453 --> 00:50:21,920
TEDDY:
Okay.
1455
00:50:21,922 --> 00:50:24,055
Hey, Mila, what about you?
1456
00:50:24,057 --> 00:50:25,824
My parents are gonna be
really pissed
1457
00:50:25,826 --> 00:50:27,393
if I get busted again.
1458
00:50:28,728 --> 00:50:30,495
- Yeah, I'm in.
- MACKENZIE: I'm in.
1459
00:50:30,497 --> 00:50:31,429
- That's what I'm talking about.
- TEDDY: All right.
1460
00:50:31,431 --> 00:50:33,932
I just have one question
before we do this.
1461
00:50:33,934 --> 00:50:35,666
- What's up?
- Why does Teddy get to be
1462
00:50:35,668 --> 00:50:36,767
the ringleader, guys?
Come on.
1463
00:50:36,769 --> 00:50:38,535
- TEDDY: Goddamn it, Luis.
- Not now.
1464
00:50:38,537 --> 00:50:41,139
- I mean, seriously, man?
- It was his idea.
1465
00:50:41,141 --> 00:50:43,408
He knows this school
better than any of us.
1466
00:50:43,410 --> 00:50:45,076
Ah. Just never mind the fact
1467
00:50:45,078 --> 00:50:47,678
that I snuck
into a little place...
1468
00:50:47,680 --> 00:50:49,147
called America.
1469
00:50:49,149 --> 00:50:50,881
MACKENZIE:
Ha! That's true!
1470
00:50:50,883 --> 00:50:53,017
Luis is hot tonight.
1471
00:50:53,019 --> 00:50:54,986
♪
1472
00:50:54,988 --> 00:50:57,155
(YAWNS)
1473
00:50:57,157 --> 00:50:59,092
(SPORTSCASTER SPEAKS
INDISTINCTLY OVER PHONE)
1474
00:51:01,894 --> 00:51:05,163
(BUZZER SOUNDS, WHISTLE BLOWS
OVER PHONE)
1475
00:51:05,165 --> 00:51:07,100
♪
1476
00:51:09,169 --> 00:51:11,503
(DOOR CLATTERS SHUT)
1477
00:51:24,850 --> 00:51:27,019
(CHEWING LOUDLY)
1478
00:51:28,588 --> 00:51:30,121
- Yo, T.
- What?
1479
00:51:30,123 --> 00:51:31,856
I appreciate you bringing
1480
00:51:31,858 --> 00:51:33,757
this amazing, blazing
Satan chicken.
1481
00:51:33,759 --> 00:51:35,159
It's like, it's hot,
but it's not.
1482
00:51:35,161 --> 00:51:37,161
And I don't like spicy food,
but this one...
1483
00:51:37,163 --> 00:51:40,665
Let me tell you
what else is hot... your breath.
1484
00:51:40,667 --> 00:51:43,101
Why are you breathing on
the side of my face like that?
1485
00:51:43,103 --> 00:51:45,535
- Oh.
- You're smacking all in my ear, man. Stop.
1486
00:51:45,537 --> 00:51:47,138
(CHEWING LOUDLY)
1487
00:51:47,140 --> 00:51:48,705
You're still smacking.
1488
00:51:48,707 --> 00:51:50,507
Goddamn it, you're done.
You're done.
1489
00:51:50,509 --> 00:51:51,609
You're done with that.
1490
00:51:51,611 --> 00:51:53,878
- (SLURPING LOUDLY)
- Really?
1491
00:51:53,880 --> 00:51:55,712
God, what-what is
your problem, man?
1492
00:51:55,714 --> 00:51:58,216
- What?
- I said wear all black. Why didn't you wear black?
1493
00:51:58,218 --> 00:52:01,084
Laundry day.
All my darks were in the wash.
1494
00:52:01,086 --> 00:52:02,486
So you wore yellow?
1495
00:52:02,488 --> 00:52:03,821
It's fresh. It's clean.
1496
00:52:03,823 --> 00:52:05,790
Get your...
get your arm out my face.
1497
00:52:05,792 --> 00:52:07,158
Get out of my face.
1498
00:52:07,160 --> 00:52:09,060
Focus. Let's go.
1499
00:52:09,062 --> 00:52:10,796
Let's go.
1500
00:52:12,131 --> 00:52:13,797
Yo, Teddy,
what's the play, man?
1501
00:52:13,799 --> 00:52:15,800
Last night
I saw the janitor cleaning
1502
00:52:15,802 --> 00:52:17,902
Stewart's office
around 8:00 p.m.
1503
00:52:17,904 --> 00:52:20,038
I get it...
that's the inside man, huh?
1504
00:52:20,040 --> 00:52:22,039
No, Bobby,
he's not my inside man.
1505
00:52:22,041 --> 00:52:23,976
He's the janitor.
1506
00:52:26,178 --> 00:52:28,179
(RINGTONE PLAYING)
1507
00:52:28,181 --> 00:52:29,847
Oh, shit.
1508
00:52:29,849 --> 00:52:32,183
(WHISPERING): I got
to take this, I got to take it.
1509
00:52:32,185 --> 00:52:33,850
Sh-Shit.
1510
00:52:33,852 --> 00:52:36,253
Aw.
1511
00:52:36,255 --> 00:52:38,055
No, no, no.
1512
00:52:38,057 --> 00:52:39,993
(MUTTERING)
1513
00:52:43,029 --> 00:52:44,228
Hey, babe.
1514
00:52:44,230 --> 00:52:46,129
Hey, baby, I miss you.
1515
00:52:46,131 --> 00:52:47,931
Are you still at work?
1516
00:52:47,933 --> 00:52:51,768
Uh, yeah, yeah, right now I'm in
the, uh, I'm in the break room.
1517
00:52:51,770 --> 00:52:53,837
- (LAUGHS)
- Can I get a tour of the office?
1518
00:52:53,839 --> 00:52:56,274
If my baby wants a tour,
then she can get a tour.
1519
00:52:56,276 --> 00:52:57,975
- You always want to see something.
- Ah!
1520
00:52:57,977 --> 00:52:58,976
- If I...
- Oh, Teddy.
1521
00:52:58,978 --> 00:53:00,277
- Hey.
- Teddy, oh.
1522
00:53:00,279 --> 00:53:02,745
We got a situation here,
we got a real...
1523
00:53:02,747 --> 00:53:04,614
- (FARTS) - Hot lava, hot lava.
- What? Hey.
1524
00:53:04,616 --> 00:53:05,882
- Okay.
- Um...
1525
00:53:05,884 --> 00:53:07,718
Oh, God, oh, God,
oh, God, oh, God!
1526
00:53:07,720 --> 00:53:08,919
- Aah!
- Wha...?
1527
00:53:08,921 --> 00:53:10,053
God, turtle head sticking out.
1528
00:53:10,055 --> 00:53:11,321
- Oh, that's a big one.
- Uh...
1529
00:53:11,323 --> 00:53:13,689
- Babe, what is going on over there?
- MACKENZIE: Oh, big shit.
1530
00:53:13,691 --> 00:53:15,058
- Honey, that's, uh, that's actually...
- (FARTS)
1531
00:53:15,060 --> 00:53:16,960
...that's actually one
of my account managers.
1532
00:53:16,962 --> 00:53:17,794
(EXHALES SHARPLY)
1533
00:53:17,796 --> 00:53:19,896
Personalities
all over the office.
1534
00:53:19,898 --> 00:53:21,031
- Uh, nonstop laughs.
- (DIARRHEA SPLASHING)
1535
00:53:21,033 --> 00:53:22,332
- Hot lava!
- Nonstop.
1536
00:53:22,334 --> 00:53:23,934
You know how I do...
1537
00:53:23,936 --> 00:53:25,869
play around... at the office.
1538
00:53:25,871 --> 00:53:27,305
(MACKENZIE LAUGHS)
1539
00:53:27,307 --> 00:53:28,306
- Who's...?
- BOBBY: Hey, yo, what's up, bro?
1540
00:53:28,308 --> 00:53:30,274
You hung up on me, man.
1541
00:53:30,276 --> 00:53:32,075
- Who's that?
- That's one of my,
1542
00:53:32,077 --> 00:53:33,910
that's one of my clients there,
right there.
1543
00:53:33,912 --> 00:53:35,912
Yeah, we were, we were going
over his portfolio.
1544
00:53:35,914 --> 00:53:37,580
Kind of looks
like he's in prison.
1545
00:53:37,582 --> 00:53:39,983
Oh, my God,
you're so beautiful, baby.
1546
00:53:39,985 --> 00:53:41,651
TEDDY:
Well, he looks like that
1547
00:53:41,653 --> 00:53:43,954
- 'cause he is... insider trading.
- (FARTS)
1548
00:53:43,956 --> 00:53:45,789
He was wrongfully accused.
1549
00:53:45,791 --> 00:53:48,624
You're looking like J.Lo
and Beyoncé, mama.
1550
00:53:48,626 --> 00:53:50,293
Would you mind showing me
your privates?
1551
00:53:50,295 --> 00:53:51,762
Enough, Bobby.
1552
00:53:51,764 --> 00:53:53,096
Like, turn around,
let me see that ass,
1553
00:53:53,098 --> 00:53:54,631
please, a little tit, something.
1554
00:53:54,633 --> 00:53:55,966
Excuse me?
1555
00:53:55,968 --> 00:53:57,300
I'm, like,
really strong right now.
1556
00:53:57,302 --> 00:54:00,203
Like, I could do things to you...
legendary shit.
1557
00:54:00,205 --> 00:54:01,171
Enough, Bobby.
1558
00:54:01,173 --> 00:54:02,972
I'll take some upper thigh,
but, for real,
1559
00:54:02,974 --> 00:54:05,208
I really want
to see some punani.
1560
00:54:05,210 --> 00:54:06,176
Excuse me?
1561
00:54:06,178 --> 00:54:08,211
- (MACKENZIE GROANS)
- Listen... oh, my God.
1562
00:54:08,213 --> 00:54:09,279
MACKENZIE:
I don't know what you put in me.
1563
00:54:09,281 --> 00:54:10,280
It just hit me.
1564
00:54:10,282 --> 00:54:11,714
But it feels like the Devil!
1565
00:54:11,716 --> 00:54:14,083
It just hit me what he said,
honey.
1566
00:54:14,085 --> 00:54:15,319
He's saying "piñata."
1567
00:54:15,321 --> 00:54:17,654
Man, I ain't see some punani
in so long.
1568
00:54:17,656 --> 00:54:19,122
Bobby likes to hit piñatas.
1569
00:54:19,124 --> 00:54:20,656
- MACKENZIE: No!
- Let me... you know what I'm gonna do?
1570
00:54:20,658 --> 00:54:21,958
Let me, let me call you back.
1571
00:54:21,960 --> 00:54:22,893
- Uh...
- I love you,
1572
00:54:22,895 --> 00:54:25,095
and I... we'll do the tour
when I'm done.
1573
00:54:25,097 --> 00:54:26,929
Bye, babe.
1574
00:54:26,931 --> 00:54:28,231
What was that, Bobby?
1575
00:54:28,233 --> 00:54:30,000
Yo, Ted, good looking, bro.
1576
00:54:30,002 --> 00:54:31,368
That's my fiancée, man.
1577
00:54:31,370 --> 00:54:32,601
You don't talk to her like that.
1578
00:54:32,603 --> 00:54:36,339
When I go back to the cell,
I got the legendary socky-sock.
1579
00:54:36,341 --> 00:54:38,707
You're not having a sock session
to my woman.
1580
00:54:38,709 --> 00:54:40,177
That's, that's not going
to happen.
1581
00:54:40,179 --> 00:54:42,245
- I'm going all out.
- (MACKENZIE GRUNTS)
1582
00:54:42,247 --> 00:54:43,246
- (DIARRHEA SPLASHING)
- (STAMMERS)
1583
00:54:43,248 --> 00:54:44,814
Okay, what is in your ass, Mac?
1584
00:54:44,816 --> 00:54:46,782
MACKENZIE:
Cut me a break, man.
1585
00:54:46,784 --> 00:54:47,585
I've had enough!
1586
00:54:50,188 --> 00:54:52,322
Hold on a second,
we got a code red.
1587
00:54:52,324 --> 00:54:54,091
We got a code red.
1588
00:54:54,093 --> 00:54:55,859
Teddy, I got no toilet paper.
1589
00:54:55,861 --> 00:54:58,095
Toilet paper, Teddy,
one-time me!
1590
00:54:58,097 --> 00:54:59,129
One-time me!
1591
00:54:59,131 --> 00:55:00,898
Teddy!
1592
00:55:04,136 --> 00:55:06,136
(JANITOR SPRAYS CLEANER)
1593
00:55:06,138 --> 00:55:07,870
All right, guys, listen.
1594
00:55:07,872 --> 00:55:09,705
When the janitor exits,
1595
00:55:09,707 --> 00:55:11,408
we're gonna go out,
we're gonna catch the door.
1596
00:55:11,410 --> 00:55:13,309
And then we're gonna
enter quietly.
1597
00:55:13,311 --> 00:55:14,612
- Okay.
- Okay?
1598
00:55:15,881 --> 00:55:17,015
Wait a minute.
1599
00:55:18,016 --> 00:55:19,249
Where's Big Mac?
1600
00:55:19,251 --> 00:55:21,184
I thought he was with us.
1601
00:55:21,186 --> 00:55:23,085
He...
1602
00:55:23,087 --> 00:55:24,755
(SIGHS) Damn it.
1603
00:55:30,429 --> 00:55:31,896
What's he doing?
1604
00:55:33,132 --> 00:55:34,864
- (GRUNTING)
- (TEDDY GASPS)
1605
00:55:34,866 --> 00:55:37,299
(GRUNTING AND GROANING)
1606
00:55:37,301 --> 00:55:39,236
- Oh, my God.
- What are you doing?
1607
00:55:39,238 --> 00:55:41,039
- Come on, come on, come on, come on.
- Mac!
1608
00:55:43,275 --> 00:55:45,975
- Holy shit, it worked.
- Oh, my God!
1609
00:55:45,977 --> 00:55:47,143
- (LAUGHING)
- TEDDY: Mac!
1610
00:55:47,145 --> 00:55:48,244
Did you just kill him?
1611
00:55:48,246 --> 00:55:49,245
No, I didn't kill him.
1612
00:55:49,247 --> 00:55:50,246
I just choked him out.
1613
00:55:50,248 --> 00:55:51,281
You said no witnesses.
1614
00:55:51,283 --> 00:55:52,748
When did I say that?
1615
00:55:52,750 --> 00:55:54,119
You didn't say that?
1616
00:55:55,187 --> 00:55:56,219
Oh, God.
1617
00:55:56,221 --> 00:55:57,287
You know what?
1618
00:55:57,289 --> 00:55:58,888
I got my signals crossed.
1619
00:55:58,890 --> 00:56:00,723
There's a lot
of instructions, Teddy.
1620
00:56:00,725 --> 00:56:02,124
I didn't say anything about...
1621
00:56:02,126 --> 00:56:04,961
You know what?
You are going to fix this.
1622
00:56:04,963 --> 00:56:06,795
Do you hear me, Mac?
You're gonna hide this body.
1623
00:56:06,797 --> 00:56:08,831
- Chop him up?
- Hide...
1624
00:56:08,833 --> 00:56:10,733
- Burn it?
- Hide it.
1625
00:56:10,735 --> 00:56:11,736
Chop, burn, bury?
1626
00:56:14,305 --> 00:56:16,208
- Hey. Anybody got anything?
- No.
1627
00:56:17,742 --> 00:56:19,041
TEDDY: All right, Mila,
how we looking?
1628
00:56:19,043 --> 00:56:20,843
- (BUZZING)
- Keep looking.
1629
00:56:20,845 --> 00:56:23,479
- Suck my balls, Teddy! (LAUGHS)
- Shit.
1630
00:56:23,481 --> 00:56:25,814
- Shit.
- You should've seen your face.
1631
00:56:25,816 --> 00:56:28,118
- You look ridiculous.
- Shh!
1632
00:56:28,120 --> 00:56:29,852
MACKENZIE:
All right, I stashed the body,
1633
00:56:29,854 --> 00:56:31,887
and God willing, he'll wake up
in a couple hours.
1634
00:56:31,889 --> 00:56:33,856
Also, that baseball coach/
principal guy,
1635
00:56:33,858 --> 00:56:35,324
he's on his way.
1636
00:56:35,326 --> 00:56:37,326
TEDDY: What? Why wouldn't you
lead with that?
1637
00:56:37,328 --> 00:56:40,930
(QUIET CHATTER)
1638
00:56:40,932 --> 00:56:43,332
TEDDY:
Damn. It's the PTA meeting.
1639
00:56:43,334 --> 00:56:45,203
Oh, shit.
1640
00:56:46,337 --> 00:56:48,204
Theresa, you're up.
1641
00:56:48,206 --> 00:56:49,371
- What? What? I...
- Listen to me.
1642
00:56:49,373 --> 00:56:51,074
- Okay.
- I need you to go out there,
1643
00:56:51,076 --> 00:56:52,275
and I need you to stall.
1644
00:56:52,277 --> 00:56:53,809
Oh, no, no, no, no.
I can't flirt.
1645
00:56:53,811 --> 00:56:55,177
- I-I don't know any moves.
- I-I don't need that.
1646
00:56:55,179 --> 00:56:56,546
I haven't flirted
since like 1996, and even then,
1647
00:56:56,548 --> 00:56:58,314
it was like offering
to give the cop a handy
1648
00:56:58,316 --> 00:56:59,949
to get off a speeding ticket,
and guess what.
1649
00:56:59,951 --> 00:57:01,317
He didn't take it.
I'm bad at it.
1650
00:57:01,319 --> 00:57:02,551
That's not what
I'm asking you to do.
1651
00:57:02,553 --> 00:57:03,953
In my day,
it was really innocent.
1652
00:57:03,955 --> 00:57:05,422
Now it's all about the butt.
1653
00:57:05,424 --> 00:57:06,922
I heard a guy
the other day say,
1654
00:57:06,924 --> 00:57:09,825
"I'm gonna crack that butt
like a walnut."
1655
00:57:09,827 --> 00:57:11,826
- What?
- What does that even mean?
1656
00:57:11,828 --> 00:57:13,229
- Why would you start there?
- Stop it.
1657
00:57:13,231 --> 00:57:14,996
Wouldn't you want
to start in the front?
1658
00:57:14,998 --> 00:57:16,499
- Theresa, listen.
- With a nice missionary position,
1659
00:57:16,501 --> 00:57:18,467
- you know, some gentle touching.
- (TEDDY GROANS)
1660
00:57:18,469 --> 00:57:20,069
In my day,
maybe once in your lifetime,
1661
00:57:20,071 --> 00:57:21,904
you might get the end
of a pinky,
1662
00:57:21,906 --> 00:57:23,372
and that was the thrill
of a lifetime, okay?
1663
00:57:23,374 --> 00:57:25,274
Stop it.
That's a lot of information
1664
00:57:25,276 --> 00:57:26,841
that I did not need to know.
1665
00:57:26,843 --> 00:57:27,943
Yeah, that was a lot.
1666
00:57:27,945 --> 00:57:29,445
Go talk about bake sales.
1667
00:57:29,447 --> 00:57:31,013
- Mom stuff. Not-not butt stuff.
- Yeah, mom stuff.
1668
00:57:31,015 --> 00:57:32,848
- Go mom it.
- I-I'll try. I'll try.
1669
00:57:32,850 --> 00:57:34,183
- Okay? Okay.
- I can do that.
1670
00:57:34,185 --> 00:57:35,384
- Go, go.
- Got it. Okay.
1671
00:57:35,386 --> 00:57:38,820
Shit. Luis, go out there
before she puts
1672
00:57:38,822 --> 00:57:40,122
- something in her butt.
- Okay.
1673
00:57:40,124 --> 00:57:41,257
Okay?
1674
00:57:41,259 --> 00:57:43,060
(TAPPING)
1675
00:57:45,196 --> 00:57:46,462
What are you doing, Mac?
1676
00:57:46,464 --> 00:57:47,996
Looking for trapdoors.
1677
00:57:47,998 --> 00:57:50,466
(TAPPING CONTINUES)
1678
00:57:50,468 --> 00:57:52,368
I'm glad you're here, Mac.
1679
00:57:52,370 --> 00:57:53,335
Send it to me first, please.
1680
00:57:53,337 --> 00:57:54,136
- Right, right.
- We can e-mail you the rest.
1681
00:57:54,138 --> 00:57:55,004
'Cause I just want to...
Thank you.
1682
00:57:55,006 --> 00:57:56,171
- That would be great.
- I'll send out
1683
00:57:56,173 --> 00:57:58,340
- that e-mail tonight, okay?
- Yeah. Thank you so much.
1684
00:57:58,342 --> 00:57:59,575
- Okay, bye.
- Drive home safe.
1685
00:57:59,577 --> 00:58:01,175
Oh, hey.
1686
00:58:01,177 --> 00:58:02,411
Hi.
1687
00:58:02,413 --> 00:58:04,614
Thank you for that great,
wonderful meeting.
1688
00:58:04,616 --> 00:58:06,448
I'm sorry, do I know you?
1689
00:58:06,450 --> 00:58:08,384
I was in there. Remember?
1690
00:58:08,386 --> 00:58:09,618
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
1691
00:58:09,620 --> 00:58:11,853
- Hi. Mrs. Howerton.
- No, you, uh, just...
1692
00:58:11,855 --> 00:58:13,354
STEWART:
Mrs. Howerton. Yes, of course.
1693
00:58:13,356 --> 00:58:15,190
No, you brought up, uh,
several compelling issues.
1694
00:58:15,192 --> 00:58:16,525
I sure did.
1695
00:58:16,527 --> 00:58:18,260
STEWART:
Well, what can I help you with?
1696
00:58:18,262 --> 00:58:20,362
- She sucks at this. Hurry.
- I'm almost there.
1697
00:58:20,364 --> 00:58:23,064
So my child gets an assignment
about the solar system,
1698
00:58:23,066 --> 00:58:24,433
and it's to make a diorama,
1699
00:58:24,435 --> 00:58:26,100
and he doesn't know how
to make a diorama.
1700
00:58:26,102 --> 00:58:27,503
I'm the one
with the hot glue gun
1701
00:58:27,505 --> 00:58:29,371
in the middle of the night...
it's 11:00 p.m.
1702
00:58:29,373 --> 00:58:31,206
I mean, don't get me wrong,
we're blessed to go to
1703
00:58:31,208 --> 00:58:32,574
- school here, but I'm...
- I'm sorry, I have to go.
1704
00:58:32,576 --> 00:58:34,376
- Okay? Call my office.
- I will. - Hurry up.
1705
00:58:34,378 --> 00:58:35,411
I'm going, I'm going.
Calm down.
1706
00:58:35,413 --> 00:58:37,045
Come on, Mila.
1707
00:58:37,047 --> 00:58:38,279
You've made some great points,
1708
00:58:38,281 --> 00:58:40,382
but I have to go now.
Good night.
1709
00:58:40,384 --> 00:58:42,318
- Wait a minute.
- Thank you. I have to go.
1710
00:58:42,320 --> 00:58:44,520
- Okay, I really have to go.
- Wait. No. (GASPS)
1711
00:58:44,522 --> 00:58:45,920
- Wait, wait, wait.
- What?
1712
00:58:45,922 --> 00:58:47,456
- (THERESA SIGHS)
- Oh! Are you okay?
1713
00:58:47,458 --> 00:58:48,890
I feel faint.
1714
00:58:48,892 --> 00:58:50,391
Well, let's get you some water.
1715
00:58:50,393 --> 00:58:52,094
- Are you...?
- Thanks for catching me.
1716
00:58:52,096 --> 00:58:54,463
Of course. Are you all right?
1717
00:58:54,465 --> 00:58:56,498
- I...
- (MOANS SOFTLY)
1718
00:58:56,500 --> 00:58:58,434
Are you having a seizure?
1719
00:58:58,436 --> 00:59:00,501
(EXHALES, SLURPS)
1720
00:59:00,503 --> 00:59:02,437
Do you have something
in your teeth?
1721
00:59:02,439 --> 00:59:05,307
- I wish I had you in my teeth.
- No, no, no, no, no, no.
1722
00:59:05,309 --> 00:59:07,576
Okay, no, I didn't realize
that's what this was.
1723
00:59:07,578 --> 00:59:09,143
- No, thank you, ma'am.
- Gentle touching.
1724
00:59:09,145 --> 00:59:10,411
I am the principal
of your child's school.
1725
00:59:10,413 --> 00:59:11,680
- I have to walk away now, okay?
- I...
1726
00:59:11,682 --> 00:59:13,147
I'm in a loveless marriage.
Please.
1727
00:59:13,149 --> 00:59:14,248
I am not participating in this!
1728
00:59:14,250 --> 00:59:15,084
- You don't have to participate.
- To a professional.
1729
00:59:15,086 --> 00:59:17,018
I'll do it.
I'll do all the work.
1730
00:59:17,020 --> 00:59:18,287
- No, I'm... (SIGHS)
- I'll do it all.
1731
00:59:18,289 --> 00:59:19,488
- If you just...
- Ma'am.
1732
00:59:19,490 --> 00:59:20,622
- ...look me in the eyes...
- Ma'am, ma'am.
1733
00:59:20,624 --> 00:59:21,623
Not appropriate, okay?
1734
00:59:21,625 --> 00:59:22,624
- Okay, here it is.
- Okay?
1735
00:59:22,626 --> 00:59:23,692
If this is what you want.
1736
00:59:23,694 --> 00:59:24,692
This is what it's about
with you.
1737
00:59:24,694 --> 00:59:26,627
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
I'm not looking.
1738
00:59:26,629 --> 00:59:27,830
Crack it open like a walnut.
1739
00:59:27,832 --> 00:59:30,366
- Thank you. No, thank you.
- Crack that nut like a walnut.
1740
00:59:30,368 --> 00:59:31,533
Thank you. No, thank you.
1741
00:59:31,535 --> 00:59:33,602
- Crack that nut open.
- Thank you.
1742
00:59:33,604 --> 00:59:36,237
- No, thank you.
- Do what men do with women's asses.
1743
00:59:36,239 --> 00:59:37,438
- (SLAPPING)
- Oh, man.
1744
00:59:37,440 --> 00:59:38,239
- Just tap it!
- I can't...
1745
00:59:38,241 --> 00:59:39,041
I can't stand here
for this, okay?
1746
00:59:39,043 --> 00:59:40,041
- Give it a crack...
- Good night.
1747
00:59:40,043 --> 00:59:43,111
- Come on, give it some.
- (TAKING DEEP BREATHS)
1748
00:59:43,113 --> 00:59:45,279
Oh, that was so hard.
1749
00:59:45,281 --> 00:59:47,715
She wanted you so bad.
1750
00:59:47,717 --> 00:59:50,251
But you can't go there.
1751
00:59:50,253 --> 00:59:52,621
Principals have principles.
1752
00:59:52,623 --> 00:59:55,390
Mmm. Oh, but you know Stewie
1753
00:59:55,392 --> 00:59:57,158
would've tore
that ass up, though!
1754
00:59:57,160 --> 00:59:58,459
(CHUCKLES)
1755
00:59:58,461 --> 01:00:00,561
Not a black voice.
1756
01:00:00,563 --> 01:00:02,630
(STEWART CLEARS THROAT QUIETLY)
1757
01:00:02,632 --> 01:00:05,601
♪
1758
01:00:05,603 --> 01:00:08,336
STEWART (SIGHS):
Let's see.
1759
01:00:08,338 --> 01:00:10,173
(CLEARS THROAT)
1760
01:00:11,674 --> 01:00:14,611
(TYPING)
1761
01:00:26,389 --> 01:00:27,458
(STEWART SIGHS)
1762
01:00:32,328 --> 01:00:34,097
(GASPS SOFTLY)
1763
01:00:35,198 --> 01:00:36,699
(SNIFFS QUIETLY)
1764
01:00:42,572 --> 01:00:43,573
(STIFLED SNEEZE)
1765
01:00:44,707 --> 01:00:47,210
Hello? Hello?
1766
01:00:48,178 --> 01:00:49,412
Somebody in here?
1767
01:00:55,218 --> 01:00:56,619
I have a bat.
1768
01:00:57,687 --> 01:00:59,220
And I'm not afraid to use it.
1769
01:00:59,222 --> 01:01:02,222
If there is someone in here,
1770
01:01:02,224 --> 01:01:03,661
you are trespassing.
1771
01:01:04,728 --> 01:01:08,062
And I am well within my rights
1772
01:01:08,064 --> 01:01:09,564
to defend myself.
1773
01:01:09,566 --> 01:01:12,300
So come on out,
1774
01:01:12,302 --> 01:01:15,704
and I won't bash your head.
1775
01:01:15,706 --> 01:01:18,272
MAN (IN DISTANCE):
Help!
1776
01:01:18,274 --> 01:01:19,740
Anybody out there?
1777
01:01:19,742 --> 01:01:22,510
(BANGING ON DOOR IN DISTANCE)
1778
01:01:22,512 --> 01:01:24,211
Get me out of here!
1779
01:01:24,213 --> 01:01:25,713
- (BANGING CONTINUES)
- (MAN YELLS)
1780
01:01:25,715 --> 01:01:27,381
Whoa.
1781
01:01:27,383 --> 01:01:29,650
- Okay.
- What the hell, Mac?
1782
01:01:29,652 --> 01:01:31,752
- That was close.
- You're damn right it was, Mac.
1783
01:01:31,754 --> 01:01:33,154
I wonder why.
1784
01:01:33,156 --> 01:01:34,689
Yeah, I... well,
it's 'cause I sneezed.
1785
01:01:34,691 --> 01:01:36,156
I know what you did.
1786
01:01:36,158 --> 01:01:37,625
What?
1787
01:01:37,627 --> 01:01:39,128
I got it.
1788
01:01:41,164 --> 01:01:43,364
I really tried.
I even did the butt stuff.
1789
01:01:43,366 --> 01:01:45,198
I told you don't do
the butt stuff.
1790
01:01:45,200 --> 01:01:46,334
I don't know, fam,
might've worked.
1791
01:01:46,336 --> 01:01:48,368
Looked like he might've sauced
his drawers, real talk.
1792
01:01:48,370 --> 01:01:49,670
He what?
1793
01:01:49,672 --> 01:01:51,205
He-he was turned on.
1794
01:01:51,207 --> 01:01:52,273
Really?
1795
01:01:52,275 --> 01:01:53,341
Shit, I was, too.
1796
01:01:53,343 --> 01:01:54,342
Hey.
1797
01:01:54,344 --> 01:01:55,576
Thanks, Jaylen.
1798
01:01:55,578 --> 01:01:57,478
You got that little
eco-friendly vibe going.
1799
01:01:57,480 --> 01:01:58,713
What's eco-friendly?
1800
01:01:58,715 --> 01:02:00,146
Very little waste.
1801
01:02:00,148 --> 01:02:02,349
Oh, I thought you meant
her bush.
1802
01:02:02,351 --> 01:02:04,685
No. Oh, you know what?
I'm with that.
1803
01:02:04,687 --> 01:02:06,487
Hey, now! (LAUGHS)
1804
01:02:06,489 --> 01:02:07,722
Okay, Jaylen, Jaylen!
1805
01:02:07,724 --> 01:02:09,222
We gotta go, y'all. Let's go.
1806
01:02:09,224 --> 01:02:10,658
Yeah, let's go.
Come on, come on.
1807
01:02:10,660 --> 01:02:12,227
Shit.
1808
01:02:14,563 --> 01:02:15,796
(RATTLING)
1809
01:02:15,798 --> 01:02:17,832
MAN (MUFFLED):
Who's out there?
1810
01:02:17,834 --> 01:02:20,703
- (BANGING)
- Somebody help me, please.
1811
01:02:23,438 --> 01:02:25,105
- What happened?
- (PANTING)
1812
01:02:25,107 --> 01:02:26,673
I don't know.
Someone grabbed me from behind
1813
01:02:26,675 --> 01:02:28,543
and threw me in the slop sink.
1814
01:02:28,545 --> 01:02:30,545
Game face, Lonnie.
1815
01:02:30,547 --> 01:02:33,446
- (BEEP, CLUNK)
- We're on lockdown.
1816
01:02:33,448 --> 01:02:34,782
MACKENZIE (LAUGHING):
Ah, yeah!
1817
01:02:34,784 --> 01:02:37,284
- That'll get him. - Hey!
- (ALARM BLARING)
1818
01:02:37,286 --> 01:02:39,120
- Oh, shit.
- Go, go, go! - Hey!
1819
01:02:39,122 --> 01:02:41,656
Shit.
1820
01:02:41,658 --> 01:02:43,791
- What do we...? Hey.
- Shit.
1821
01:02:43,793 --> 01:02:46,226
Oh. Hey, Bobby.
1822
01:02:46,228 --> 01:02:48,562
Bobby, shit just got real, man,
what do we do?
1823
01:02:48,564 --> 01:02:50,697
Man, I don't know,
just don't get shot, bro.
1824
01:02:50,699 --> 01:02:51,832
What do you mean,
"don't get shot"?
1825
01:02:51,834 --> 01:02:53,701
Bobby, you're supposed
to be a hardened criminal, man.
1826
01:02:53,703 --> 01:02:55,536
That can't be your advice.
1827
01:02:55,538 --> 01:02:57,404
What the hell'd you go
to jail for, Bobby?
1828
01:02:57,406 --> 01:02:59,339
I robbed Whole Foods, bro.
1829
01:02:59,341 --> 01:03:00,740
I robbed Whole Foods.
1830
01:03:00,742 --> 01:03:02,175
That's your crime?
1831
01:03:02,177 --> 01:03:04,745
You went to jail
for stealing $15 lettuce?
1832
01:03:04,747 --> 01:03:06,581
No, bro, you're sleeping.
1833
01:03:06,583 --> 01:03:09,249
I moved some coke and some dope
in the day, but my kale game...
1834
01:03:09,251 --> 01:03:11,384
- my kale game...
- No.
1835
01:03:11,386 --> 01:03:12,385
Now, that's mean!
1836
01:03:12,387 --> 01:03:13,887
Grass-fed beef.
1837
01:03:13,889 --> 01:03:16,256
You don't know nothing
about no free-range chicken.
1838
01:03:16,258 --> 01:03:18,291
- Thug life! (STAMMERS)
- Jaylen, calm... calm down.
1839
01:03:18,293 --> 01:03:19,894
- And I had all the farmer markets on smash.
- No, no.
1840
01:03:19,896 --> 01:03:21,428
You don't get to explain.
1841
01:03:21,430 --> 01:03:23,296
You don't get to expla... Bye.
1842
01:03:23,298 --> 01:03:24,664
All right, y'all, this way.
1843
01:03:24,666 --> 01:03:25,665
STEWART (OVER P.A.):
Attention, intruders.
1844
01:03:25,667 --> 01:03:27,335
This is Principal Patowsky.
1845
01:03:27,337 --> 01:03:30,905
The exit doors are locked down.
There is no escape.
1846
01:03:30,907 --> 01:03:34,374
I-I can't believe we're gonna
die over a GED practice test.
1847
01:03:34,376 --> 01:03:35,642
- It's not even a real test.
- Listen.
1848
01:03:35,644 --> 01:03:37,544
I just did this
to get out of the house.
1849
01:03:37,546 --> 01:03:38,846
I thought this
was gonna be fun.
1850
01:03:38,848 --> 01:03:40,180
You know,
we're gonna break in...
1851
01:03:40,182 --> 01:03:41,414
Just shut up! Just shut up!
1852
01:03:41,416 --> 01:03:43,918
Shut up! Goddamn!
1853
01:03:43,920 --> 01:03:46,453
Been talking about your kids
and everything all day!
1854
01:03:46,455 --> 01:03:48,188
This ain't the time.
1855
01:03:48,190 --> 01:03:49,623
Now, y'all pull it together.
1856
01:03:49,625 --> 01:03:50,925
We are fine.
1857
01:03:50,927 --> 01:03:52,292
We-we... we are okay.
1858
01:03:52,294 --> 01:03:53,728
The roof. Let's hit the roof.
1859
01:03:53,730 --> 01:03:55,295
Okay, when I went
to school here,
1860
01:03:55,297 --> 01:03:56,496
that's how we got out
of school.
1861
01:03:56,498 --> 01:03:58,698
And then we would jump onto
the elementary school roof.
1862
01:03:58,700 --> 01:03:59,635
Come on!
1863
01:04:01,202 --> 01:04:03,671
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
1864
01:04:03,673 --> 01:04:05,238
- Move it, move it!
- This is a bad idea.
1865
01:04:05,240 --> 01:04:06,339
- Come on!
- This is a bad idea!
1866
01:04:06,341 --> 01:04:08,241
- Watch it, watch it.
- Whoa, whoa!
1867
01:04:08,243 --> 01:04:09,843
- Whoa, whoa!
- Whoa!
1868
01:04:09,845 --> 01:04:11,277
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Whoa.
1869
01:04:11,279 --> 01:04:12,479
- Oh, my God.
- Whoa, whoa!
1870
01:04:12,481 --> 01:04:13,713
Okay, back up.
1871
01:04:13,715 --> 01:04:15,215
- Listen to me.
- Come on!
1872
01:04:15,217 --> 01:04:16,784
Swear to you,
when I went to school here,
1873
01:04:16,786 --> 01:04:18,351
that jump did not seem
that high.
1874
01:04:18,353 --> 01:04:19,719
There's no way I can make that.
1875
01:04:19,721 --> 01:04:21,855
I can jump like three feet.
My knees and my back
1876
01:04:21,857 --> 01:04:23,923
are totally shot
from moving boxes, Teddy!
1877
01:04:23,925 --> 01:04:25,224
- All right.
- What are we gonna do?
1878
01:04:25,226 --> 01:04:26,225
- What are we gonna do?
- Listen, listen.
1879
01:04:26,227 --> 01:04:27,360
I got it.
1880
01:04:27,362 --> 01:04:28,728
Let's just say it's 15 feet.
1881
01:04:28,730 --> 01:04:29,864
Oh, God.
1882
01:04:29,866 --> 01:04:31,364
TEDDY:
Take that 15 feet,
1883
01:04:31,366 --> 01:04:33,233
minus the three feet
that you can jump.
1884
01:04:33,235 --> 01:04:34,467
What are you talking about?
1885
01:04:34,469 --> 01:04:36,736
All we gotta do is use
the Pythagorean theorem.
1886
01:04:36,738 --> 01:04:37,704
Nobody was listening in class.
1887
01:04:37,706 --> 01:04:39,539
- Nobody knows how to do that.
- Oh, my God.
1888
01:04:39,541 --> 01:04:40,774
No, wait, wait, wait.
Carrie said... Carrie said,
1889
01:04:40,776 --> 01:04:41,976
in order to do
the Pythagorean theorem,
1890
01:04:41,978 --> 01:04:43,743
you-you have to know
the hypotenuse.
1891
01:04:43,745 --> 01:04:46,346
All we gotta do
is hypotenuse it.
1892
01:04:46,348 --> 01:04:47,947
A-squared plus B-squared
equals C-squared.
1893
01:04:47,949 --> 01:04:49,716
If you know... know two sides,
1894
01:04:49,718 --> 01:04:51,018
then that'll help you
figure out the third,
1895
01:04:51,020 --> 01:04:52,686
so it's roughly
six feet across,
1896
01:04:52,688 --> 01:04:55,388
and 15-squared is 225
divided by six-squared...
1897
01:04:55,390 --> 01:04:56,890
- Hypotenuse it!
- Wait, what did I just say?
1898
01:04:56,892 --> 01:04:58,357
- MACKENZIE: It's 36.
- Yeah, 36.
1899
01:04:58,359 --> 01:04:59,726
But you don't divide it.
You add it.
1900
01:04:59,728 --> 01:05:01,360
So, what did I just say?
The, um... the, uh...
1901
01:05:01,362 --> 01:05:02,594
- She's the best one at math.
- Wait, no, uh...
1902
01:05:02,596 --> 01:05:03,797
- Hypotenuse it!
- No, no, you can do this.
1903
01:05:03,799 --> 01:05:05,865
- By six-squared, then... I-I don't know.
- No.
1904
01:05:05,867 --> 01:05:07,333
No, come on. You got this.
1905
01:05:07,335 --> 01:05:08,802
(OTHERS YELLING)
1906
01:05:08,804 --> 01:05:10,402
- Oh, my God!
- (WHOOPING AND YELLING)
1907
01:05:10,404 --> 01:05:12,538
- Mila!
- Oh, my God!
1908
01:05:12,540 --> 01:05:14,607
Oh!
1909
01:05:14,609 --> 01:05:15,642
- You all right?
- Guys!
1910
01:05:15,644 --> 01:05:17,410
It's not a hard math problem.
1911
01:05:17,412 --> 01:05:18,745
It's a simple physics problem.
1912
01:05:18,747 --> 01:05:19,946
Just jump.
1913
01:05:19,948 --> 01:05:21,981
Did you...
did you hypotenuse it?
1914
01:05:21,983 --> 01:05:23,717
Yeah, I hypotenused it.
1915
01:05:23,719 --> 01:05:25,350
Can you just jump?
1916
01:05:25,352 --> 01:05:26,853
Mac, you're up next.
1917
01:05:26,855 --> 01:05:28,521
- No. No.
- Yes.
1918
01:05:28,523 --> 01:05:30,390
Mac, don't you
give me that, okay?
1919
01:05:30,392 --> 01:05:31,958
When I think "man,"
I think you.
1920
01:05:31,960 --> 01:05:35,327
I think about how proud
Little Mac must be.
1921
01:05:35,329 --> 01:05:37,030
I want you to do
what you do best
1922
01:05:37,032 --> 01:05:38,363
and go be great.
1923
01:05:38,365 --> 01:05:40,633
Okay. Yeah.
1924
01:05:40,635 --> 01:05:42,435
Get across that roof, Mac.
1925
01:05:42,437 --> 01:05:43,670
- Yeah! Okay!
- All right?
1926
01:05:43,672 --> 01:05:44,871
- All right.
- You got this.
1927
01:05:44,873 --> 01:05:47,040
Mac coming in! Step back!
1928
01:05:47,042 --> 01:05:48,875
- Let's go, Mac.
- Thank you, Teddy.
1929
01:05:48,877 --> 01:05:50,844
Any time.
1930
01:05:50,846 --> 01:05:52,312
Mac attack!
1931
01:05:52,314 --> 01:05:54,013
(SCREAMING)
1932
01:05:54,015 --> 01:05:55,314
Mac attack!
1933
01:05:55,316 --> 01:05:57,316
♪ Owner of a lonely heart...
1934
01:05:57,318 --> 01:05:59,518
(SCREAMING CONTINUES)
1935
01:05:59,520 --> 01:06:00,987
(GROANS, SCREAMS)
1936
01:06:00,989 --> 01:06:02,889
(ALL YELLING)
1937
01:06:02,891 --> 01:06:05,492
(GASPING)
1938
01:06:05,494 --> 01:06:06,226
Shit!
1939
01:06:06,228 --> 01:06:07,894
- (BONES CRACKING)
- (GROANS)
1940
01:06:07,896 --> 01:06:09,095
Oh, God!
1941
01:06:09,097 --> 01:06:10,496
Oh, Teddy!
1942
01:06:10,498 --> 01:06:12,598
- Oh, why'd I listen to you?
- Shit.
1943
01:06:12,600 --> 01:06:14,032
You were so convincing!
1944
01:06:14,034 --> 01:06:16,402
- I'm sorry, buddy.
- Hey.
1945
01:06:16,404 --> 01:06:17,937
My arm's kind of tingly.
1946
01:06:17,939 --> 01:06:19,906
- I think I might have hurt it.
- (REPRESSED GAGGING)
1947
01:06:19,908 --> 01:06:21,573
Feels weird, man.
1948
01:06:21,575 --> 01:06:23,344
His damn shoulder
is in his mouth.
1949
01:06:24,879 --> 01:06:26,413
(SCREAMS)
1950
01:06:29,618 --> 01:06:30,683
Oh!
1951
01:06:30,685 --> 01:06:32,051
JAYLEN:
Hey.
1952
01:06:32,053 --> 01:06:33,819
Big Mac, man,
I'm sorry about that.
1953
01:06:33,821 --> 01:06:36,922
That hot chicken, it just
kind of got on rewind, man.
1954
01:06:36,924 --> 01:06:38,625
- (WHIMPERS)
- It was either the back or the front,
1955
01:06:38,627 --> 01:06:40,593
and I just got
these pants, fam.
1956
01:06:40,595 --> 01:06:43,765
Oh, God, I'm having
the worst night!
1957
01:06:46,134 --> 01:06:47,768
(DOOR OPENS)
1958
01:06:50,872 --> 01:06:52,739
(DOOR CLOSES)
1959
01:06:52,741 --> 01:06:54,675
♪
1960
01:06:59,947 --> 01:07:01,914
(GASPS, GRUNTS)
1961
01:07:01,916 --> 01:07:04,416
Hello, Teddy.
1962
01:07:04,418 --> 01:07:05,854
Huh?
1963
01:07:08,389 --> 01:07:09,922
Hey, babe.
1964
01:07:09,924 --> 01:07:12,424
You don't need
to "hey, babe" me.
1965
01:07:12,426 --> 01:07:14,028
(GULPS)
1966
01:07:15,664 --> 01:07:17,464
I know what's going on.
1967
01:07:19,533 --> 01:07:20,467
What's, uh, um...
1968
01:07:21,569 --> 01:07:22,570
What's going on?
1969
01:07:24,104 --> 01:07:25,904
The late hours?
1970
01:07:25,906 --> 01:07:27,408
The secrecy?
1971
01:07:28,742 --> 01:07:30,176
Just admit it, Teddy.
1972
01:07:30,178 --> 01:07:31,810
Just admit what?
1973
01:07:31,812 --> 01:07:32,947
It's so obvious.
1974
01:07:35,082 --> 01:07:36,650
You're getting cold feet.
1975
01:07:37,785 --> 01:07:39,420
(SIGHS)
1976
01:07:40,588 --> 01:07:41,789
(LAUGHING)
1977
01:07:43,557 --> 01:07:45,593
Yeah!
1978
01:07:46,694 --> 01:07:47,993
Cold feet?
1979
01:07:47,995 --> 01:07:50,864
Ever since you proposed,
you haven't been yourself.
1980
01:07:50,866 --> 01:07:52,497
(CLEARS THROAT) Cold feet?
1981
01:07:52,499 --> 01:07:56,935
Lisa, I am not getting
cold feet.
1982
01:07:56,937 --> 01:07:59,671
In fact, it's the...
it's the complete opposite.
1983
01:07:59,673 --> 01:08:01,006
My feet are very warm.
1984
01:08:01,008 --> 01:08:02,942
I want this.
1985
01:08:02,944 --> 01:08:04,443
And I apologize.
1986
01:08:04,445 --> 01:08:05,911
I apologize if things have been
1987
01:08:05,913 --> 01:08:08,447
a little crazy as of late,
but, babe,
1988
01:08:08,449 --> 01:08:10,148
you gotta know
that I am out here.
1989
01:08:10,150 --> 01:08:12,117
I'm-I'm... I'm trying.
1990
01:08:12,119 --> 01:08:16,655
Okay? I am busting my ass
every day, every night,
1991
01:08:16,657 --> 01:08:18,191
for us.
1992
01:08:18,193 --> 01:08:20,158
For me and you.
1993
01:08:20,160 --> 01:08:22,027
I'm in a different world
out there, babe.
1994
01:08:22,029 --> 01:08:24,796
And this world
is stressing me out.
1995
01:08:24,798 --> 01:08:28,734
It is stressing me out.
1996
01:08:28,736 --> 01:08:29,935
(SIGHS)
1997
01:08:29,937 --> 01:08:31,603
I'm sorry I doubted you.
1998
01:08:31,605 --> 01:08:34,006
I-I know this career change
has been a lot.
1999
01:08:34,008 --> 01:08:36,041
It's a lot.
2000
01:08:36,043 --> 01:08:38,744
It's so much.
2001
01:08:38,746 --> 01:08:41,046
It's so, so much.
2002
01:08:41,048 --> 01:08:42,883
Poor baby.
2003
01:08:44,251 --> 01:08:47,152
(TAKES DEEP BREATH)
2004
01:08:47,154 --> 01:08:48,454
- I love you.
- Oh.
2005
01:08:53,060 --> 01:08:54,862
I love you, too.
2006
01:08:57,698 --> 01:08:59,264
TEDDY:
Does that complete your order?
2007
01:08:59,266 --> 01:09:01,066
- (BABY CRYING OVER SPEAKER)
- WOMAN: Oh, wait, h-hold up.
2008
01:09:01,068 --> 01:09:02,267
- I don't want that apple pie.
- Yeah, I can't... I'm sorry.
2009
01:09:02,269 --> 01:09:03,635
It's-it's kind of hard
to hear you.
2010
01:09:03,637 --> 01:09:04,770
There's a baby
in the background.
2011
01:09:04,772 --> 01:09:06,138
Baby, I said be quiet.
Sit down!
2012
01:09:06,140 --> 01:09:07,739
Yeah, say-say it
one more time for me.
2013
01:09:07,741 --> 01:09:09,207
- Say it... say it again.
- Is that burger good or what?
2014
01:09:09,209 --> 01:09:11,076
TEDDY: Is there any way
I can get you to respectfully
2015
01:09:11,078 --> 01:09:12,677
- shut that baby up?
- What'd you say?
2016
01:09:12,679 --> 01:09:14,846
- Just pull up to the window, for the love...
- Heck no!
2017
01:09:14,848 --> 01:09:16,615
Oh. Shit.
2018
01:09:16,617 --> 01:09:17,883
- Shit.
- STEWART: It won't work.
2019
01:09:17,885 --> 01:09:19,084
I see you, Teddy.
2020
01:09:19,086 --> 01:09:20,584
It's not working.
2021
01:09:20,586 --> 01:09:23,654
Teddy Walker
behind the soda machine.
2022
01:09:23,656 --> 01:09:24,989
- WOMAN: Hello?
- Shit.
2023
01:09:24,991 --> 01:09:27,526
Teddy Walker.
I see you looking at...
2024
01:09:27,528 --> 01:09:28,593
We're making eye contact
right now.
2025
01:09:28,595 --> 01:09:30,262
Open your eyes, Teddy.
2026
01:09:30,264 --> 01:09:32,697
- Teddy, come here!
- Stewart.
2027
01:09:32,699 --> 01:09:33,932
Hey.
2028
01:09:33,934 --> 01:09:35,067
Stewart,
you were saying "Teddy"?
2029
01:09:35,069 --> 01:09:36,268
About ten times.
2030
01:09:36,270 --> 01:09:37,635
- Hey.
- Hey.
2031
01:09:37,637 --> 01:09:38,637
- Do me a favor.
- Yep.
2032
01:09:38,639 --> 01:09:40,539
Uh, go over there
and handle that situation
2033
01:09:40,541 --> 01:09:41,472
- at the drive-through.
- Uh-huh.
2034
01:09:41,474 --> 01:09:42,975
And I'll tell you
what to do after that,
2035
01:09:42,977 --> 01:09:44,042
because I'm in charge.
2036
01:09:44,044 --> 01:09:45,743
- Hey, so...
- WOMAN: Hello?
2037
01:09:45,745 --> 01:09:47,545
Give me a second. M-Ma'am...
2038
01:09:47,547 --> 01:09:49,013
- I said I didn't want the pie.
- Okay, ma'am, ma...
2039
01:09:49,015 --> 01:09:49,947
- She don't want the pie.
- Uh-uh.
2040
01:09:49,949 --> 01:09:51,850
Take the pie off.
She want to get the...
2041
01:09:51,852 --> 01:09:53,151
WOMAN:
I said I ain't getting a pie.
2042
01:09:53,153 --> 01:09:54,219
- TEDDY: Pull up!
- You heard me.
2043
01:09:54,221 --> 01:09:55,686
- Pull up to the window!
- All right.
2044
01:09:55,688 --> 01:09:57,022
TEDDY:
When she pull up, tell me,
2045
01:09:57,024 --> 01:09:58,956
'cause I'm gonna come punch
the baby in the face.
2046
01:09:58,958 --> 01:10:01,125
God don't see everything.
Just let me know.
2047
01:10:01,127 --> 01:10:05,063
Hey, talk to me, man.
How you doing?
2048
01:10:05,065 --> 01:10:07,065
You know, I thought
it was the Woodbridge punks
2049
01:10:07,067 --> 01:10:09,800
that broke into the school,
but now it all makes sense.
2050
01:10:09,802 --> 01:10:12,903
I found this
2051
01:10:12,905 --> 01:10:14,508
at the scene of the crime.
2052
01:10:15,876 --> 01:10:17,242
So, what'd you do, huh?
2053
01:10:17,244 --> 01:10:18,310
Break into my computer?
2054
01:10:18,312 --> 01:10:20,145
- (CHUCKLES)
- Steal the midterm?
2055
01:10:20,147 --> 01:10:21,712
Being a little paranoid,
aren't we, Stew?
2056
01:10:21,714 --> 01:10:23,315
- Am I?
- Stewart, that's a plastic bag
2057
01:10:23,317 --> 01:10:25,649
with a chicken wrapper in it
with the word "evidence"
2058
01:10:25,651 --> 01:10:28,053
written on it, which is
probably in your handwriting.
2059
01:10:28,055 --> 01:10:31,123
It's not exactly
a smoking gun, Stew.
2060
01:10:31,125 --> 01:10:33,158
It's just a coincidence, right?
2061
01:10:33,160 --> 01:10:34,259
Probably.
2062
01:10:34,261 --> 01:10:36,027
If you stole that test,
2063
01:10:36,029 --> 01:10:37,862
I will find out, Teddy.
2064
01:10:37,864 --> 01:10:40,832
I'm an honest man trying
to make an honest living.
2065
01:10:40,834 --> 01:10:43,667
Teddy Walker does not cheat.
2066
01:10:43,669 --> 01:10:45,071
You cheated.
2067
01:10:46,973 --> 01:10:48,973
Every last one of you...
2068
01:10:48,975 --> 01:10:50,742
cheated.
2069
01:10:50,744 --> 01:10:52,877
Uh... whoa.
2070
01:10:52,879 --> 01:10:55,247
Carrie, those are
very strong accusations.
2071
01:10:55,249 --> 01:10:57,382
For real. Like, what?
2072
01:10:57,384 --> 01:10:58,749
I'm offended.
2073
01:10:58,751 --> 01:11:00,918
Well, I'll take note
of that, Teddy.
2074
01:11:00,920 --> 01:11:03,088
Which one of you want
to own up to it?
2075
01:11:03,090 --> 01:11:04,755
I'm offended, too.
2076
01:11:04,757 --> 01:11:06,191
Bobby?
2077
01:11:06,193 --> 01:11:07,625
You a criminal.
2078
01:11:07,627 --> 01:11:08,726
You obviously not good at it.
2079
01:11:08,728 --> 01:11:10,027
That's why you in jail.
2080
01:11:10,029 --> 01:11:11,996
Did you orchestrate
this whole thing?
2081
01:11:11,998 --> 01:11:14,732
I mean, why you gonna
pick on me and profile me?
2082
01:11:14,734 --> 01:11:16,734
I'm the only one
locked up here.
2083
01:11:16,736 --> 01:11:18,836
So, if I'm locked up in here,
2084
01:11:18,838 --> 01:11:21,372
how can I be out there
stealing the test, Miss Carrie?
2085
01:11:21,374 --> 01:11:23,074
CARRIE:
Oh, oh, wait a minute.
2086
01:11:23,076 --> 01:11:24,108
Y'all stole the test?
2087
01:11:24,110 --> 01:11:25,209
I'm not saying nothing.
2088
01:11:25,211 --> 01:11:26,311
I don't know nothing.
2089
01:11:26,313 --> 01:11:27,845
I don't know shit.
2090
01:11:27,847 --> 01:11:29,046
'Cause I never said nothing
2091
01:11:29,048 --> 01:11:30,648
about anybody
stealing the test.
2092
01:11:30,650 --> 01:11:32,983
We're about to get
to the truth.
2093
01:11:32,985 --> 01:11:34,952
Who stole the test?
2094
01:11:34,954 --> 01:11:36,719
Mac?
2095
01:11:36,721 --> 01:11:40,024
You want to explain to me
how you got a perfect score?
2096
01:11:40,026 --> 01:11:41,426
Here's the thing, all right?
2097
01:11:41,428 --> 01:11:44,261
I know I didn't get
a perfect score,
2098
01:11:44,263 --> 01:11:45,729
because I missed a few
on purpose.
2099
01:11:45,731 --> 01:11:46,730
Oh, fudge.
2100
01:11:46,732 --> 01:11:48,365
(CARRIE CHUCKLES)
2101
01:11:48,367 --> 01:11:50,335
Thank you!
2102
01:11:50,337 --> 01:11:51,869
You's a snitch, Mac.
2103
01:11:51,871 --> 01:11:53,438
Snitches are bitches.
2104
01:11:53,440 --> 01:11:55,806
I don't like cheaters.
2105
01:11:55,808 --> 01:11:59,944
And I hate that I am teaching
a room full of cheaters.
2106
01:11:59,946 --> 01:12:02,179
I don't like men that cheat.
2107
01:12:02,181 --> 01:12:03,814
I don't like women that cheat.
2108
01:12:03,816 --> 01:12:05,116
I don't even deal
with politicians.
2109
01:12:05,118 --> 01:12:07,151
You know why?
'Cause they all cheaters.
2110
01:12:07,153 --> 01:12:08,786
I don't even eat Cheetos.
2111
01:12:08,788 --> 01:12:10,687
You know why? 'Cause it
sound like "cheaters."
2112
01:12:10,689 --> 01:12:13,090
Plus that Cheeto dust
will give you that Trump color.
2113
01:12:13,092 --> 01:12:15,159
- Yeah.
- It's hard to get that Cheeto dust
2114
01:12:15,161 --> 01:12:17,027
off your hands.
2115
01:12:17,029 --> 01:12:18,896
It'll mess up your Girbauds.
2116
01:12:18,898 --> 01:12:20,798
You know, I liked you at first.
2117
01:12:20,800 --> 01:12:22,133
I'm done with all of y'all.
2118
01:12:22,135 --> 01:12:24,068
All of y'all can get up
out my class.
2119
01:12:24,070 --> 01:12:25,402
- I'm done with y'all.
- What?
2120
01:12:25,404 --> 01:12:27,204
Okay, Carrie, let me...
I want to say something.
2121
01:12:27,206 --> 01:12:29,206
What about my GED? He's gonna
drop out of high school.
2122
01:12:29,208 --> 01:12:31,408
If I don't get my GED,
I'm going to prison.
2123
01:12:31,410 --> 01:12:32,810
I need this GED.
2124
01:12:32,812 --> 01:12:33,978
You need to keep
your booty closed.
2125
01:12:33,980 --> 01:12:35,446
That's what you need to do.
You in jail.
2126
01:12:35,448 --> 01:12:36,980
No, I need this GED.
2127
01:12:36,982 --> 01:12:38,181
We can't live
on Randy's salary.
2128
01:12:38,183 --> 01:12:39,417
Please don't make me go home.
2129
01:12:39,419 --> 01:12:40,753
I hate my kids.
2130
01:12:41,821 --> 01:12:44,288
But I love being a mom.
2131
01:12:44,290 --> 01:12:46,756
I'm blessed. I'm so blessed.
2132
01:12:46,758 --> 01:12:48,392
LUIS:
Carrie, please.
2133
01:12:48,394 --> 01:12:50,059
I cannot live a lifetime
2134
01:12:50,061 --> 01:12:52,129
of driving around drunks
in a Corolla.
2135
01:12:52,131 --> 01:12:53,497
JAYLEN: Look, the last thing
I want to do
2136
01:12:53,499 --> 01:12:55,232
is be cleaning the rooms
at the Best Western.
2137
01:12:55,234 --> 01:12:56,433
Okay? 'Cause all that...
2138
01:12:56,435 --> 01:12:57,901
Especially
them short-stay rooms,
2139
01:12:57,903 --> 01:12:59,470
'cause you know
what that is, right?
2140
01:12:59,472 --> 01:13:01,505
That's just gonna be
used condoms, soiled sheets.
2141
01:13:01,507 --> 01:13:03,376
Ain't that where you met
your bottom bitch at?
2142
01:13:05,778 --> 01:13:07,744
You know Trina?
2143
01:13:07,746 --> 01:13:08,978
Mm-hmm.
2144
01:13:08,980 --> 01:13:10,414
She got a fat ass, too.
2145
01:13:10,416 --> 01:13:13,283
You know what? All of you
got little sob stories,
2146
01:13:13,285 --> 01:13:14,985
but y'all should've thought
about that
2147
01:13:14,987 --> 01:13:16,989
before you went
and stole the test.
2148
01:13:19,258 --> 01:13:21,125
Just get the hell up out
of my class.
2149
01:13:21,127 --> 01:13:24,761
(STUDENTS CLAMORING)
2150
01:13:24,763 --> 01:13:27,064
THERESA:
It's not sob stories. No!
2151
01:13:27,066 --> 01:13:28,499
I'm-I'm the one who wants
to get my life together.
2152
01:13:28,501 --> 01:13:30,267
Let-let-let me tell you
something about Jay.
2153
01:13:30,269 --> 01:13:33,102
- (CLAMORING CONTINUES)
- CARRIE: Get out!
2154
01:13:33,104 --> 01:13:35,439
Get out! Get out!
2155
01:13:35,441 --> 01:13:36,973
- All of y'all...
- It was me.
2156
01:13:36,975 --> 01:13:38,074
- And I... Hey.
- (CLAMORING STOPS)
2157
01:13:38,076 --> 01:13:39,912
It was me.
2158
01:13:42,281 --> 01:13:44,181
Shouldn't be mad
at none of them.
2159
01:13:44,183 --> 01:13:45,982
I mean, yeah,
they looked at the answers,
2160
01:13:45,984 --> 01:13:47,953
but they wouldn't have
if I hadn't put it on their lap.
2161
01:13:49,354 --> 01:13:51,222
I take responsibility
for it all.
2162
01:13:51,224 --> 01:13:53,224
I was the mastermind.
I orchestrated the whole thing.
2163
01:13:53,226 --> 01:13:54,227
It was all me.
2164
01:13:55,328 --> 01:13:56,826
Thank you.
2165
01:13:56,828 --> 01:13:58,562
Thank you, Teddy.
2166
01:13:58,564 --> 01:14:00,897
I appreciate your honesty.
2167
01:14:00,899 --> 01:14:02,866
I'm just trying
to do what's right, Carrie.
2168
01:14:02,868 --> 01:14:05,069
Now you can get the hell out
of my class.
2169
01:14:05,071 --> 01:14:07,003
Huh?
2170
01:14:07,005 --> 01:14:08,938
Hit the road, Jack.
2171
01:14:08,940 --> 01:14:12,041
Don't let the doorknob hit you
where the good Lord split you.
2172
01:14:12,043 --> 01:14:13,543
I thought that when I said
all that stuff,
2173
01:14:13,545 --> 01:14:14,945
that you would listen to it.
2174
01:14:14,947 --> 01:14:16,113
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
2175
01:14:16,115 --> 01:14:17,414
You gets no second chances
up in here.
2176
01:14:17,416 --> 01:14:18,582
Not with me no more.
2177
01:14:18,584 --> 01:14:20,417
Uh-uh. I ain't got
your back no more.
2178
01:14:20,419 --> 01:14:22,852
- You don't even want to be here.
- I do want to be here.
2179
01:14:22,854 --> 01:14:24,187
You don't even
want to be here, Teddy.
2180
01:14:24,189 --> 01:14:26,223
- No.
- And as for the rest of you,
2181
01:14:26,225 --> 01:14:27,924
I want you to think
long and hard
2182
01:14:27,926 --> 01:14:30,394
about if you really want this.
2183
01:14:30,396 --> 01:14:32,128
(SIGHS)
2184
01:14:32,130 --> 01:14:34,199
Class dismissed.
2185
01:14:36,968 --> 01:14:38,369
"Find a solution for the..."
2186
01:14:38,371 --> 01:14:40,069
(CRYING):
I don't know none of this shit.
2187
01:14:40,071 --> 01:14:41,070
I need you.
2188
01:14:41,072 --> 01:14:44,474
- I need your help.
- Put your damn hand down.
2189
01:14:44,476 --> 01:14:46,276
I'm going to Rainbows
before they close.
2190
01:14:46,278 --> 01:14:48,444
That's emotional shopping,
Carrie.
2191
01:14:48,446 --> 01:14:50,147
It's Rainbows, motherfucker.
2192
01:14:50,149 --> 01:14:51,417
Shit is cheap.
2193
01:14:53,419 --> 01:14:56,052
(LONG SIGH)
2194
01:14:56,054 --> 01:14:58,421
Teddy, Teddy, Teddy.
2195
01:14:58,423 --> 01:15:00,922
You are stupid.
2196
01:15:00,924 --> 01:15:03,960
She didn't know what was
going on until you admitted it.
2197
01:15:03,962 --> 01:15:05,396
We had her right up
till the end,
2198
01:15:05,398 --> 01:15:08,431
and then Teddy,
old brick head...
2199
01:15:08,433 --> 01:15:10,900
- (BOOK STRIKES MACKENZIE)
- Oh, Teddy!
2200
01:15:10,902 --> 01:15:12,368
JAYLEN:
You deserved that.
2201
01:15:12,370 --> 01:15:14,571
LISA:
A school?
2202
01:15:14,573 --> 01:15:17,574
We've never taken on
a project like that.
2203
01:15:17,576 --> 01:15:20,510
STEWART: Well, I am
an outside-of-the-box thinker.
2204
01:15:20,512 --> 01:15:22,278
That's just who I am.
2205
01:15:22,280 --> 01:15:23,646
I think that if students
are excited
2206
01:15:23,648 --> 01:15:25,148
about their environment,
2207
01:15:25,150 --> 01:15:27,083
they'll be excited
about learning.
2208
01:15:27,085 --> 01:15:28,284
That makes total sense.
2209
01:15:28,286 --> 01:15:29,653
I know I would.
2210
01:15:29,655 --> 01:15:31,120
Well, I'm glad to hear it.
2211
01:15:31,122 --> 01:15:32,455
If you're interested,
I'd love to give you
2212
01:15:32,457 --> 01:15:33,956
a tour of the school.
2213
01:15:33,958 --> 01:15:35,558
You could come by any day,
or you know what,
2214
01:15:35,560 --> 01:15:37,125
you could even come
after school.
2215
01:15:37,127 --> 01:15:40,098
We have several
night programs as well.
2216
01:15:41,900 --> 01:15:44,334
- Hey.
- Hey.
2217
01:15:44,336 --> 01:15:46,402
CARRIE (IN DISTANCE):
Okay, show me what you got.
2218
01:15:46,404 --> 01:15:48,003
Show me what you got!
2219
01:15:48,005 --> 01:15:50,206
What you got for me?
Come on.
2220
01:15:50,208 --> 01:15:52,141
Light up. What you got?
2221
01:15:52,143 --> 01:15:54,043
Oh, you killing me!
2222
01:15:54,045 --> 01:15:55,578
You won. Congratulations.
2223
01:15:55,580 --> 01:15:57,547
I'm proud of you, boo.
2224
01:15:57,549 --> 01:15:59,515
Now, it's not cool
that you beat your teacher
2225
01:15:59,517 --> 01:16:01,517
at Texas hold 'em,
but I like the way
2226
01:16:01,519 --> 01:16:04,020
you nailed down the
calculations on the pot odds,
2227
01:16:04,022 --> 01:16:06,255
so I'm gonna let this slide.
2228
01:16:06,257 --> 01:16:08,291
Now, remember what I said.
2229
01:16:08,293 --> 01:16:11,093
There are no shortcuts.
You gotta work your butt off.
2230
01:16:11,095 --> 01:16:13,128
Okay? Give me some love.
2231
01:16:13,130 --> 01:16:15,465
Mmm. So proud of you.
2232
01:16:15,467 --> 01:16:17,200
Go on and have a good day, now.
2233
01:16:17,202 --> 01:16:19,237
Maybe one day,
I'll take you to Vegas.
2234
01:16:21,706 --> 01:16:23,508
(SIGHS)
2235
01:16:26,311 --> 01:16:27,512
That was cool.
2236
01:16:29,347 --> 01:16:32,047
You know, uh, this used to be
the special ed classroom
2237
01:16:32,049 --> 01:16:33,316
when I went here.
2238
01:16:33,318 --> 01:16:34,950
It still is.
2239
01:16:34,952 --> 01:16:36,686
You teach special ed?
2240
01:16:36,688 --> 01:16:40,390
Special ed is one
of my sections.
2241
01:16:40,392 --> 01:16:42,926
It's one of my favorites,
actually.
2242
01:16:44,729 --> 01:16:48,296
You know, that kid reminds me
a lot of myself.
2243
01:16:48,298 --> 01:16:49,699
(CHUCKLES)
I couldn't do math for shit
2244
01:16:49,701 --> 01:16:51,401
when I was in school.
2245
01:16:51,403 --> 01:16:53,436
Difference is I didn't have
a teacher like you
2246
01:16:53,438 --> 01:16:55,671
that was willing
to stay behind and help me.
2247
01:16:55,673 --> 01:16:57,473
I know what you're doing,
Teddy.
2248
01:16:57,475 --> 01:17:01,009
And I admit it was
very cool of you
2249
01:17:01,011 --> 01:17:03,379
to take the fall
for your classmates,
2250
01:17:03,381 --> 01:17:04,580
but you're a hustler.
2251
01:17:04,582 --> 01:17:07,350
Trying to skate by
without doing the work.
2252
01:17:07,352 --> 01:17:09,151
You should know
you can't hustle me.
2253
01:17:09,153 --> 01:17:10,152
I do.
2254
01:17:10,154 --> 01:17:12,688
Okay? I-I do know that.
2255
01:17:12,690 --> 01:17:14,991
And I promise you I'm done.
2256
01:17:14,993 --> 01:17:16,526
I'm not hustling no more.
2257
01:17:16,528 --> 01:17:19,529
Night school is about
second chances.
2258
01:17:19,531 --> 01:17:21,329
And if I don't get
this second chance,
2259
01:17:21,331 --> 01:17:22,698
then it's over for me.
2260
01:17:22,700 --> 01:17:25,233
Night school
is all that I have.
2261
01:17:25,235 --> 01:17:27,370
(SIGHS)
2262
01:17:27,372 --> 01:17:29,238
Please.
2263
01:17:29,240 --> 01:17:31,707
I'll consider it
on one condition.
2264
01:17:31,709 --> 01:17:33,375
Whatever it is.
2265
01:17:33,377 --> 01:17:35,243
We get you tested.
2266
01:17:35,245 --> 01:17:37,581
For STDs? That's not an issue.
2267
01:17:39,083 --> 01:17:40,283
I don't mind that. I mean...
2268
01:17:40,285 --> 01:17:41,317
(SIGHS) Goddamn it.
2269
01:17:41,319 --> 01:17:43,051
There was one time where, uh,
2270
01:17:43,053 --> 01:17:44,754
the condom popped 'cause I put
my balls inside of...
2271
01:17:44,756 --> 01:17:47,589
No, you idiot.
2272
01:17:47,591 --> 01:17:49,393
For learning disabilities.
2273
01:17:51,262 --> 01:17:54,397
Nobody cares about your
escapades with your bitches.
2274
01:17:54,399 --> 01:17:56,599
TEDDY:
So, what are the test results,
2275
01:17:56,601 --> 01:17:57,599
Carrie?
2276
01:17:57,601 --> 01:18:00,237
Teddy, the issue is...
2277
01:18:01,538 --> 01:18:03,475
...you're clinically dumb.
2278
01:18:06,778 --> 01:18:08,510
I knew it.
2279
01:18:08,512 --> 01:18:11,112
I knew it was a mistake.
I knew it was a mistake.
2280
01:18:11,114 --> 01:18:13,548
(LAUGHS) Boy, I'm sorry.
I'm just messing with you.
2281
01:18:13,550 --> 01:18:15,183
- Come on, Carrie.
- Look, look.
2282
01:18:15,185 --> 01:18:16,419
My suspicions were right,
2283
01:18:16,421 --> 01:18:19,421
and you, my friend,
are dyslexic.
2284
01:18:19,423 --> 01:18:21,323
Okay.
2285
01:18:21,325 --> 01:18:23,325
Okay, so that just means
I'm having problems
2286
01:18:23,327 --> 01:18:25,059
with my reading
and my writing, right?
2287
01:18:25,061 --> 01:18:27,730
Yep, but you also have
dyscalculia.
2288
01:18:27,732 --> 01:18:29,665
Discalcu... I don't even know
how to pronounce that.
2289
01:18:29,667 --> 01:18:33,003
Basically, it's like dyslexia
but with math.
2290
01:18:35,105 --> 01:18:36,538
That's what I got.
2291
01:18:36,540 --> 01:18:38,073
I knew it.
2292
01:18:38,075 --> 01:18:39,742
Now that you say it,
it makes sense.
2293
01:18:39,744 --> 01:18:41,142
If you take me to a restaurant
2294
01:18:41,144 --> 01:18:42,377
and you say,
"Teddy, leave the tip,"
2295
01:18:42,379 --> 01:18:43,445
I'm-I'm all over the place.
2296
01:18:43,447 --> 01:18:44,613
That's exactly what it is.
2297
01:18:44,615 --> 01:18:46,448
- We did it.
- Oh, we're not done.
2298
01:18:46,450 --> 01:18:48,783
You also have
a processing disorder.
2299
01:18:48,785 --> 01:18:51,186
I got a touch
of prostate cancer?
2300
01:18:51,188 --> 01:18:53,255
She didn't touch my ass
one time.
2301
01:18:53,257 --> 01:18:55,257
I said "processing disorder."
2302
01:18:55,259 --> 01:18:57,526
Carrie, if you're not
going to help me,
2303
01:18:57,528 --> 01:18:58,827
then we're wasting our time.
2304
01:18:58,829 --> 01:19:01,363
Explain to me
what this stuff is.
2305
01:19:01,365 --> 01:19:02,598
If I got a proc...
2306
01:19:02,600 --> 01:19:03,701
Oh, my God.
2307
01:19:05,302 --> 01:19:07,271
I'm not processing it.
2308
01:19:08,739 --> 01:19:11,138
I didn't process
none of that shit.
2309
01:19:11,140 --> 01:19:14,376
You are just one big,
beautiful mixed drink
2310
01:19:14,378 --> 01:19:15,778
of learning disabilities.
2311
01:19:15,780 --> 01:19:17,412
So I'm not dumb?
2312
01:19:17,414 --> 01:19:19,447
Boy, I was just playing
when I said that earlier.
2313
01:19:19,449 --> 01:19:22,350
No good teacher would ever
call their students dumb.
2314
01:19:22,352 --> 01:19:23,852
Okay.
2315
01:19:23,854 --> 01:19:25,820
So, how do we fix it?
Let's talk solution.
2316
01:19:25,822 --> 01:19:27,522
Well, there's no cure
for what you have.
2317
01:19:27,524 --> 01:19:29,824
Oh, my God.
2318
01:19:29,826 --> 01:19:32,160
I got learning herpes?
2319
01:19:32,162 --> 01:19:33,562
Boy...
2320
01:19:33,564 --> 01:19:34,829
Oh, shit.
2321
01:19:34,831 --> 01:19:37,197
There is no such thing
as learning herpes.
2322
01:19:37,199 --> 01:19:39,267
I'm blistering up.
2323
01:19:39,269 --> 01:19:41,436
It's 'cause I'm trying
to think.
2324
01:19:41,438 --> 01:19:43,605
- Hey, Teddy!
- Hey, Mac.
2325
01:19:43,607 --> 01:19:45,607
- Ringleader.
- Hi, guys.
2326
01:19:45,609 --> 01:19:48,375
- Teddy!
- Yeah, Teddy! Teddy!
2327
01:19:48,377 --> 01:19:50,211
Teaching the conventional way
2328
01:19:50,213 --> 01:19:53,148
just isn't gonna
get it done for Teddy,
2329
01:19:53,150 --> 01:19:54,416
so we're gonna mix it up.
2330
01:19:54,418 --> 01:19:56,418
You out here getting it in.
2331
01:19:56,420 --> 01:19:58,653
What's going on, Carrie?
Why you in here?
2332
01:19:58,655 --> 01:20:00,655
Why you in the ring?
What's going on?
2333
01:20:00,657 --> 01:20:03,458
Teddy, your difficulties
are focus-related.
2334
01:20:03,460 --> 01:20:04,359
Uh-huh.
2335
01:20:04,361 --> 01:20:06,328
My goal is to remove
that mind chatter
2336
01:20:06,330 --> 01:20:09,497
so you can achieve properly
unencumbered neural pathways.
2337
01:20:09,499 --> 01:20:10,865
And this isn't a ring.
2338
01:20:10,867 --> 01:20:12,333
It's a hexagon.
2339
01:20:12,335 --> 01:20:14,269
Huh. Oh, it is.
2340
01:20:14,271 --> 01:20:15,403
Yeah, well...
2341
01:20:15,405 --> 01:20:16,871
Why you taking your shoes off?
2342
01:20:16,873 --> 01:20:18,607
Is this somebody's carpet?
2343
01:20:18,609 --> 01:20:20,408
Teddy, what's
the square root of 81?
2344
01:20:20,410 --> 01:20:21,576
What?
2345
01:20:21,578 --> 01:20:24,545
- (GRUNTS)
- Ow! Ow!
2346
01:20:24,547 --> 01:20:27,215
- Shit!
- What's the square root of 81?
2347
01:20:27,217 --> 01:20:29,284
I don't know.
(GROANS) What you do...?
2348
01:20:29,286 --> 01:20:31,353
- Ow! Carrie!
- What's the square root of 81?
2349
01:20:31,355 --> 01:20:32,353
You breaking my arm!
2350
01:20:32,355 --> 01:20:33,888
Come on, we're clearing
those neural pathways.
2351
01:20:33,890 --> 01:20:35,656
- No! (SCREAMS)
- Stop. Hey!
2352
01:20:35,658 --> 01:20:37,424
- What you doing?
- Focus!
2353
01:20:37,426 --> 01:20:40,362
- (SCREAMS)
- Square root! Focus!
2354
01:20:40,364 --> 01:20:41,663
I don't know!
2355
01:20:41,665 --> 01:20:44,331
- Oh, God! (SCREAMS)
- (BONES CRACKING)
2356
01:20:44,333 --> 01:20:47,234
Concentrate.
Teddy, concentrate.
2357
01:20:47,236 --> 01:20:48,569
Come on, Teddy, come on.
2358
01:20:48,571 --> 01:20:50,205
♪ Na na na-na na na
2359
01:20:50,207 --> 01:20:52,807
♪ Na na-na na na na-na
na na-na... ♪
2360
01:20:52,809 --> 01:20:54,776
How you feeling today, Teddy?
2361
01:20:54,778 --> 01:20:58,278
I'm-I'm feeling fine,
Carrie, but I ain't feeling
2362
01:20:58,280 --> 01:21:00,347
this Mr. Miyagi shit, okay?
2363
01:21:00,349 --> 01:21:01,916
What's the capital of Belgium?
2364
01:21:01,918 --> 01:21:03,685
Uh...
2365
01:21:03,687 --> 01:21:04,719
waffles.
2366
01:21:04,721 --> 01:21:06,320
- What? (STOMPS FOOT)
- Run!
2367
01:21:06,322 --> 01:21:07,656
- (GASPING, SCREAMING)
- Don't you run from me.
2368
01:21:07,658 --> 01:21:09,590
- Don't you run from me.
- Don't. He's so little.
2369
01:21:09,592 --> 01:21:12,459
- What is the capital of Belgium?
- (GROANING)
2370
01:21:12,461 --> 01:21:14,496
I haven't eaten breakfast!
I don't know!
2371
01:21:14,498 --> 01:21:16,931
- That is not the answer!
- (SCREAMS, GROANS)
2372
01:21:16,933 --> 01:21:18,298
Pretend you're dead.
2373
01:21:18,300 --> 01:21:20,701
- Oh! Oh! (SCREAMS)
- Get back here!
2374
01:21:20,703 --> 01:21:22,636
Teddy, focus.
2375
01:21:22,638 --> 01:21:24,872
- Concentrate.
- Let's do it.
2376
01:21:24,874 --> 01:21:27,409
♪ Ooh, tell you all my deepest,
darkest secrets... ♪
2377
01:21:27,411 --> 01:21:29,911
Water is comprised of...?
2378
01:21:29,913 --> 01:21:31,512
Let's go, Teddy.
You got this, Teddy.
2379
01:21:31,514 --> 01:21:33,547
- Rain.
- "Rain."
2380
01:21:33,549 --> 01:21:35,349
TEDDY:
Wait, no. Wait, wait. (GRUNTS)
2381
01:21:35,351 --> 01:21:37,484
I know it, I know it. Um...
2382
01:21:37,486 --> 01:21:38,953
- Think.
- (STAMMERING)
2383
01:21:38,955 --> 01:21:40,889
- Focus!
- Um... helium.
2384
01:21:40,891 --> 01:21:42,423
No. No, no, no.
2385
01:21:42,425 --> 01:21:44,591
Nitrogen. It's nitrogen, right?
2386
01:21:44,593 --> 01:21:46,493
- You better get it right.
- It's a gas.
2387
01:21:46,495 --> 01:21:48,595
- What?
- It's a gas! (GRUNTS)
2388
01:21:48,597 --> 01:21:50,667
(SCREAMING)
2389
01:21:52,803 --> 01:21:54,268
Jesus Christ!
2390
01:21:54,270 --> 01:21:55,269
Give me the answer!
2391
01:21:55,271 --> 01:21:56,570
- Say it!
- (SCREAMING)
2392
01:21:56,572 --> 01:21:57,571
Give me the damn answer.
2393
01:21:57,573 --> 01:21:58,839
Tell me!
2394
01:21:58,841 --> 01:22:00,040
It's two part hydrogen,
2395
01:22:00,042 --> 01:22:01,976
one part... one...
2396
01:22:01,978 --> 01:22:03,310
one part oxygen.
2397
01:22:03,312 --> 01:22:05,446
- Yes!
- Say that again.
2398
01:22:05,448 --> 01:22:06,647
He said it.
Don't make him say it again.
2399
01:22:06,649 --> 01:22:07,881
I said two part hydrogen,
2400
01:22:07,883 --> 01:22:09,983
one part oxygen.
2401
01:22:09,985 --> 01:22:10,984
(LAUGHING)
2402
01:22:10,986 --> 01:22:12,019
Teddy, that's right.
2403
01:22:12,021 --> 01:22:13,487
- You got it right.
- What?
2404
01:22:13,489 --> 01:22:14,689
That's the correct answer.
2405
01:22:14,691 --> 01:22:16,590
(GASPS) I got it right.
2406
01:22:16,592 --> 01:22:17,792
You got it right, Teddy.
2407
01:22:17,794 --> 01:22:19,560
(CHUCKLING):
Yeah. Yes.
2408
01:22:19,562 --> 01:22:20,828
Yes!
2409
01:22:20,830 --> 01:22:22,730
What a big day for all of us.
2410
01:22:22,732 --> 01:22:23,931
I can't believe
that I actually...
2411
01:22:23,933 --> 01:22:25,800
(GRUNTS) What?
2412
01:22:25,802 --> 01:22:27,035
(SNIFFS)
2413
01:22:27,037 --> 01:22:28,970
What is that smell?
What is that?
2414
01:22:28,972 --> 01:22:31,905
Oh, now, that's a gas.
2415
01:22:31,907 --> 01:22:34,308
You bust ass
in my face, Car...?
2416
01:22:34,310 --> 01:22:35,809
Methane.
2417
01:22:35,811 --> 01:22:37,044
It's in my mouth.
2418
01:22:37,046 --> 01:22:39,047
You got my lips
all chapped and shit.
2419
01:22:39,049 --> 01:22:40,614
This ain't no type
of education.
2420
01:22:40,616 --> 01:22:42,316
This is chemical warfare.
2421
01:22:42,318 --> 01:22:44,485
(SNORING)
2422
01:22:44,487 --> 01:22:46,653
LUIS:
AirDrop it to you.
2423
01:22:46,655 --> 01:22:49,924
- TEDDY: Yeah.
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
2424
01:22:49,926 --> 01:22:51,893
(SNIFFLING)
2425
01:22:51,895 --> 01:22:53,927
- (SOBBING)
- Theresa, what's wrong?
2426
01:22:53,929 --> 01:22:55,496
Oh...
2427
01:22:55,498 --> 01:22:57,064
I just...
this all went so fast.
2428
01:22:57,066 --> 01:22:58,766
I don't want school to end.
2429
01:22:58,768 --> 01:23:00,067
(CHUCKLING):
Okay.
2430
01:23:00,069 --> 01:23:02,436
Well, you can come
to college with me.
2431
01:23:02,438 --> 01:23:04,705
- What? You're going?
- Mm-hmm.
2432
01:23:04,707 --> 01:23:06,707
- I'm so happy for you.
- (CHUCKLING)
2433
01:23:06,709 --> 01:23:08,408
When did you decide?
2434
01:23:08,410 --> 01:23:09,610
Well, don't take this
the wrong way,
2435
01:23:09,612 --> 01:23:12,378
but hanging out with you guys
scared the shit out of me.
2436
01:23:12,380 --> 01:23:14,548
So I think I'm gonna...
I think I'm gonna
2437
01:23:14,550 --> 01:23:15,649
do something with my life.
2438
01:23:15,651 --> 01:23:17,118
That's wonderful.
2439
01:23:17,120 --> 01:23:19,887
I can just see you now
in the cutest outfit...
2440
01:23:19,889 --> 01:23:21,889
little miniskirt...
walking through the quad.
2441
01:23:21,891 --> 01:23:23,757
You're clutching
onto your philosophy thesis.
2442
01:23:23,759 --> 01:23:26,393
But when you get to class,
the professor is blown away
2443
01:23:26,395 --> 01:23:27,694
- by how brilliant it is.
- Yeah.
2444
01:23:27,696 --> 01:23:29,429
So he grabs onto you,
and you can
2445
01:23:29,431 --> 01:23:30,731
feel him up against your thigh.
2446
01:23:30,733 --> 01:23:32,432
- Uh...
- Not in a sexual way,
2447
01:23:32,434 --> 01:23:34,367
but not not in a sexual way,
you know?
2448
01:23:34,369 --> 01:23:36,702
And he looks strangely
like Bruno Mars.
2449
01:23:36,704 --> 01:23:37,939
Even though
he's super academic,
2450
01:23:37,941 --> 01:23:39,540
he wears, like,
pink blazers sometimes.
2451
01:23:39,542 --> 01:23:42,042
Well, you can still go
to college and do...
2452
01:23:42,044 --> 01:23:43,646
that other stuff.
2453
01:23:44,747 --> 01:23:46,013
Me? College?
2454
01:23:46,015 --> 01:23:47,613
Oh, no.
Randy wouldn't let me.
2455
01:23:47,615 --> 01:23:50,484
Screw Randy. You can do
whatever you want to do.
2456
01:23:50,486 --> 01:23:51,418
You don't know Randy.
2457
01:23:51,420 --> 01:23:53,153
Why can't you just be like,
"Hey, Randy.
2458
01:23:53,155 --> 01:23:55,556
I want to do this.
Deal with it."
2459
01:23:55,558 --> 01:23:57,057
CARRIE (FROM HALL):
Okay!
2460
01:23:57,059 --> 01:23:59,458
Night school people.
2461
01:23:59,460 --> 01:24:02,996
Last class,
final demonstration.
2462
01:24:02,998 --> 01:24:04,765
Carrie, please,
no more learning.
2463
01:24:04,767 --> 01:24:05,966
My brain is at capacity.
2464
01:24:05,968 --> 01:24:07,634
I want to be
a dental hy-enist,
2465
01:24:07,636 --> 01:24:09,502
not Elon Musk
or Stephen Hawking.
2466
01:24:09,504 --> 01:24:10,703
(CHUCKLES)
Well, okay, Luis.
2467
01:24:10,705 --> 01:24:11,939
I'm right there with you.
2468
01:24:11,941 --> 01:24:12,972
Ha!
2469
01:24:12,974 --> 01:24:14,508
- Oh, no.
- (CARRIE LAUGHING)
2470
01:24:14,510 --> 01:24:16,410
Is this another
science experiment?
2471
01:24:16,412 --> 01:24:19,646
Oh, no, this is
a celebration, Big Mac.
2472
01:24:19,648 --> 01:24:21,547
- (WHOOPING)
- Oh, yeah. You guys been
2473
01:24:21,549 --> 01:24:23,150
- working your asses off.
- (ALL EXCLAIMING)
2474
01:24:23,152 --> 01:24:25,152
- (LAUGHTER)
- Hey! - Shit!
2475
01:24:25,154 --> 01:24:26,920
Oh, I'm so sorry, Bobby.
2476
01:24:26,922 --> 01:24:28,689
No, that's cool.
I'm gonna make me
2477
01:24:28,691 --> 01:24:30,657
some toilet punch
after lockdown, baby.
2478
01:24:30,659 --> 01:24:32,692
- (MUFFLED DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
- Y'all-y'all hear that music?
2479
01:24:32,694 --> 01:24:33,927
- Yeah.
- Oh, yeah.
2480
01:24:33,929 --> 01:24:36,129
Oh, you know what,
it's prom night.
2481
01:24:36,131 --> 01:24:37,197
You guys go to prom?
2482
01:24:37,199 --> 01:24:39,166
- No, I was in juvie.
- Really?
2483
01:24:39,168 --> 01:24:40,667
I was home with an infant.
2484
01:24:40,669 --> 01:24:42,535
This is a sign, guys.
2485
01:24:42,537 --> 01:24:44,637
- What?
- Yeah, we've been working hard.
2486
01:24:44,639 --> 01:24:45,973
We should let some steam off.
2487
01:24:45,975 --> 01:24:47,807
Why don't we go to the prom?
2488
01:24:47,809 --> 01:24:49,610
You know what? Class dismissed.
2489
01:24:49,612 --> 01:24:50,944
Let's go shake that ass.
2490
01:24:50,946 --> 01:24:52,813
(ALL CHEERING)
2491
01:24:52,815 --> 01:24:55,481
Let's go to prom, baby!
Let's go to prom!
2492
01:24:55,483 --> 01:24:56,849
(LAUGHTER, INDISTINCT CHATTER)
2493
01:24:56,851 --> 01:24:58,618
Oh, my God!
2494
01:24:58,620 --> 01:25:00,519
♪ Just a slave to the game,
I'm like a bird... ♪
2495
01:25:00,521 --> 01:25:01,555
What the hell, Theresa?
2496
01:25:01,557 --> 01:25:02,990
I've been outside honking
2497
01:25:02,992 --> 01:25:04,658
for like 15 minutes.
2498
01:25:04,660 --> 01:25:08,161
♪ I feel like I can break
through the ceiling ♪
2499
01:25:08,163 --> 01:25:11,664
♪ So I find myself a place
without missing a beat ♪
2500
01:25:11,666 --> 01:25:13,165
♪ Where they buy me a drink
2501
01:25:13,167 --> 01:25:15,534
♪ A place where I can dance
like I'm free ♪
2502
01:25:15,536 --> 01:25:17,070
Don't talk to me like that.
2503
01:25:17,072 --> 01:25:18,238
♪ I'll dance until
these chains fall... ♪
2504
01:25:18,240 --> 01:25:19,939
I'm your wife.
I'm not your mommy,
2505
01:25:19,941 --> 01:25:21,707
and I'm not your house cleaner.
2506
01:25:21,709 --> 01:25:24,243
And when I get my GED,
I'm gonna pursue my dreams,
2507
01:25:24,245 --> 01:25:26,479
and I'm gonna need
your support.
2508
01:25:26,481 --> 01:25:29,182
And also, I want to have sex
on a regular basis.
2509
01:25:29,184 --> 01:25:30,650
- Oh. - Mmm!
- (RANDY CHUCKLES)
2510
01:25:30,652 --> 01:25:31,951
I mean, like, kinky sex.
2511
01:25:31,953 --> 01:25:33,220
Like, not make-a-baby sex,
2512
01:25:33,222 --> 01:25:34,787
but 45-minute sex.
2513
01:25:34,789 --> 01:25:36,155
Like, Fifty Shades of Grey sex.
2514
01:25:36,157 --> 01:25:37,256
Hmm?
2515
01:25:37,258 --> 01:25:39,760
THERESA: I want you
to crack my butt like a walnut.
2516
01:25:39,762 --> 01:25:40,961
Do I make myself clear?!
2517
01:25:40,963 --> 01:25:42,728
Okay, okay.
2518
01:25:42,730 --> 01:25:44,231
I'm so sorry, babe.
2519
01:25:44,233 --> 01:25:46,565
I think you're
a freakin' rock star.
2520
01:25:46,567 --> 01:25:48,668
And judging by what
you just said to me,
2521
01:25:48,670 --> 01:25:50,636
I can't wait to be
your porn star.
2522
01:25:50,638 --> 01:25:51,939
Whoa.
2523
01:25:51,941 --> 01:25:53,839
(CHUCKLES QUIETLY)
2524
01:25:53,841 --> 01:25:55,107
- (DANCE MUSIC BLARING)
- CARRIE: All right, y'all,
2525
01:25:55,109 --> 01:25:56,611
we got the party
up in here tonight!
2526
01:25:58,012 --> 01:25:59,845
That's a clean batch.
2527
01:25:59,847 --> 01:26:02,115
I want this punch
to stay that way.
2528
01:26:02,117 --> 01:26:04,884
Gonna be checking
throughout the night.
2529
01:26:04,886 --> 01:26:06,619
No, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no.
2530
01:26:06,621 --> 01:26:09,121
Excuse me. This dance
is for students only.
2531
01:26:09,123 --> 01:26:10,923
Well, this is
my night school class,
2532
01:26:10,925 --> 01:26:12,624
and they are students here.
2533
01:26:12,626 --> 01:26:13,894
Okay, well, technically,
technically, you're still
2534
01:26:13,896 --> 01:26:15,095
on school hours,
so, Miss Carter,
2535
01:26:15,097 --> 01:26:16,296
please return
to your classroom.
2536
01:26:16,298 --> 01:26:18,097
Well, we gonna spend
our class hours
2537
01:26:18,099 --> 01:26:19,999
- in the gym, at the party.
- Carrie.
2538
01:26:20,001 --> 01:26:21,734
So get out of the way,
bitch. Move!
2539
01:26:21,736 --> 01:26:23,635
- I can't allow this.
- She got you. She got you.
2540
01:26:23,637 --> 01:26:25,071
Man, why you always
about that rah-rah, man?
2541
01:26:25,073 --> 01:26:26,706
I'll allow this.
I'll allow this to happen.
2542
01:26:26,708 --> 01:26:28,208
We just trying
to get a vibe, though.
2543
01:26:28,210 --> 01:26:29,608
(GIGGLES QUIETLY)
2544
01:26:29,610 --> 01:26:30,943
TEDDY:
All right, Piedmont High,
2545
01:26:30,945 --> 01:26:32,712
make room for
the night school crew!
2546
01:26:32,714 --> 01:26:34,080
♪ One, two, three, uh!
2547
01:26:34,082 --> 01:26:36,015
♪ My baby
don't mess around... ♪
2548
01:26:36,017 --> 01:26:37,883
Watch out, watch out,
watch out!
2549
01:26:37,885 --> 01:26:40,019
♪ And this I know for sure
2550
01:26:40,021 --> 01:26:41,053
Everybody, come on!
2551
01:26:41,055 --> 01:26:42,888
♪ Uh!
2552
01:26:42,890 --> 01:26:46,092
♪ Thank God for Mom and Dad
for sticking to together... ♪
2553
01:26:46,094 --> 01:26:47,728
JAYLEN:
Oh, Miss C gonna kill 'em!
2554
01:26:49,597 --> 01:26:50,730
♪ Yeah! Huh!
2555
01:26:50,732 --> 01:26:52,932
♪ Hey ya
2556
01:26:52,934 --> 01:26:53,968
Yeah!
2557
01:26:55,737 --> 01:26:58,871
♪ Hey ya
2558
01:26:58,873 --> 01:27:00,707
- ♪ Hey ya
- Pelvic, pelvic, pelvic.
2559
01:27:03,278 --> 01:27:06,846
- ♪ Hey ya
- (WHOOPING)
2560
01:27:06,848 --> 01:27:08,814
♪ Here we go, uh, shake it,
shake-shake it ♪
2561
01:27:08,816 --> 01:27:10,316
- ♪ Shake it, shake-shake it
- ♪ Oh, oh
2562
01:27:10,318 --> 01:27:11,384
♪ Shake it, shake-shake it
2563
01:27:11,386 --> 01:27:14,887
♪ Shake it, shake it,
shake it, shake it like ♪
2564
01:27:14,889 --> 01:27:16,589
- ♪ A Polaroid picture
- ♪ You know what to do
2565
01:27:16,591 --> 01:27:17,857
♪ Shake it,
shake it, shake it ♪
2566
01:27:17,859 --> 01:27:20,026
- ♪ You know what to do
- (YELLS)
2567
01:27:20,028 --> 01:27:22,328
♪ Shake it, shake it,
sh-sh-shake it ♪
2568
01:27:22,330 --> 01:27:24,230
♪ You know what to do
2569
01:27:24,232 --> 01:27:25,865
♪ Hey ya
2570
01:27:25,867 --> 01:27:28,667
♪ Oh, oh
2571
01:27:28,669 --> 01:27:30,069
- ♪ Hey ya
- Go, Theresa!
2572
01:27:30,071 --> 01:27:31,771
- (CHEERING)
- ♪ Oh, oh
2573
01:27:31,773 --> 01:27:34,073
♪ Hey ya
2574
01:27:34,075 --> 01:27:36,342
- ♪ Oh, oh ♪
- She's twerking! She's twerking!
2575
01:27:36,344 --> 01:27:38,778
- ♪ Hey ya
- She's twerking!
2576
01:27:38,780 --> 01:27:40,646
- Go, T!
- Crack my walnut!
2577
01:27:40,648 --> 01:27:42,647
- (WHOOPING)
- That's not for kids, Theresa!
2578
01:27:42,649 --> 01:27:44,383
- ♪ Oh, oh
- Go, T!
2579
01:27:44,385 --> 01:27:46,918
- ♪ Hey ya...
- (SONG FADES)
2580
01:27:46,920 --> 01:27:49,722
(SLOW BALLAD PLAYING)
2581
01:27:49,724 --> 01:27:52,758
♪ Ooh, ooh
2582
01:27:52,760 --> 01:27:56,962
♪ Oh, oh
2583
01:27:56,964 --> 01:27:59,931
♪ Hey, hey
2584
01:27:59,933 --> 01:28:03,002
♪ The dream is all
that keeps me alive ♪
2585
01:28:03,004 --> 01:28:05,805
(SINGS LINE IN SPANISH)
2586
01:28:05,807 --> 01:28:07,373
♪ No matter what it takes
2587
01:28:07,375 --> 01:28:10,276
♪ You know I'm always
gonna keep on fighting ♪
2588
01:28:10,278 --> 01:28:11,845
♪ I'm fighting
2589
01:28:13,748 --> 01:28:16,182
♪ I'm never gonna
let the dream go ♪
2590
01:28:16,184 --> 01:28:19,285
♪ I'll take this all the way
2591
01:28:19,287 --> 01:28:23,322
♪ Nobody's ever,
ever gonna stop el sueño ♪
2592
01:28:23,324 --> 01:28:25,658
♪ Ah, ah, ah ♪
2593
01:28:25,660 --> 01:28:29,028
♪ No desert, no snake
gonna take me down ♪
2594
01:28:29,030 --> 01:28:31,896
- ♪ Take me down
- ♪ Take me down, no way... ♪
2595
01:28:31,898 --> 01:28:34,400
Wait, s-sweetheart,
who-who's watching the kids?
2596
01:28:34,402 --> 01:28:36,301
I got it covered.
2597
01:28:36,303 --> 01:28:39,105
She said, "I want to be
a flight attendant."
2598
01:28:39,107 --> 01:28:41,006
You see?
2599
01:28:41,008 --> 01:28:43,975
"I want to go
from place to place.
2600
01:28:43,977 --> 01:28:46,345
It'd be like going..."
2601
01:28:46,347 --> 01:28:48,615
Is y'all little bitches
listening?
2602
01:28:50,017 --> 01:28:53,185
You know, Carrie,
you are incredible.
2603
01:28:53,187 --> 01:28:54,953
I'm serious.
2604
01:28:54,955 --> 01:28:55,854
There's never been a teacher
2605
01:28:55,856 --> 01:28:57,889
that believe in me
the way that you do.
2606
01:28:57,891 --> 01:28:59,724
Teddy, what can I say?
2607
01:28:59,726 --> 01:29:03,129
You've grown so much
in such a short period of time.
2608
01:29:03,131 --> 01:29:05,030
And if you keep up
with all the stuff
2609
01:29:05,032 --> 01:29:08,166
that we've been doing,
you are well on your way.
2610
01:29:08,168 --> 01:29:10,034
I'm just...
2611
01:29:10,036 --> 01:29:12,370
I'm really,
really proud of you.
2612
01:29:12,372 --> 01:29:15,143
(LUIS SINGING IN SPANISH)
2613
01:29:19,146 --> 01:29:21,946
You know, Carrie, uh...
2614
01:29:21,948 --> 01:29:25,250
these past few weeks
have been amazing.
2615
01:29:25,252 --> 01:29:27,852
I mean, our chemistry,
it goes without saying,
2616
01:29:27,854 --> 01:29:28,920
it's strong.
2617
01:29:28,922 --> 01:29:30,855
I sense it. I know you do, too.
2618
01:29:30,857 --> 01:29:32,123
But as magical as these moments
2619
01:29:32,125 --> 01:29:33,224
that we've been having
may be...
2620
01:29:33,226 --> 01:29:35,126
Fool, I'm gay.
2621
01:29:35,128 --> 01:29:36,727
I'm not trying to play.
2622
01:29:36,729 --> 01:29:38,063
Now, I'm not saying
I ain't no freak,
2623
01:29:38,065 --> 01:29:39,265
'cause I'd drop it off on you.
2624
01:29:39,267 --> 01:29:40,499
I'm a lesbian.
2625
01:29:40,501 --> 01:29:43,768
If you want to pursue acting,
you can.
2626
01:29:43,770 --> 01:29:45,103
No, I'm gay.
2627
01:29:45,105 --> 01:29:46,771
Say that again. It sound like
you said you're gay.
2628
01:29:46,773 --> 01:29:48,239
I'm gay.
2629
01:29:48,241 --> 01:29:50,409
I like women.
2630
01:29:50,411 --> 01:29:51,943
Are you sure?
Because I'm getting
2631
01:29:51,945 --> 01:29:53,479
- a whole different vibe.
- MAYA: Oh, hell no!
2632
01:29:53,481 --> 01:29:55,715
- I'm pretty sure.
- Oh, God.
2633
01:29:57,117 --> 01:29:59,184
Teddy?
2634
01:29:59,186 --> 01:30:02,087
Is the, is the one on the left
your type?
2635
01:30:02,089 --> 01:30:03,821
Uh-uh, the one
in the tight dress is.
2636
01:30:03,823 --> 01:30:05,025
Shit, that's mine.
2637
01:30:06,092 --> 01:30:07,892
Hey.
2638
01:30:07,894 --> 01:30:09,894
There they go.
2639
01:30:09,896 --> 01:30:11,362
What are you doing here?
2640
01:30:11,364 --> 01:30:13,198
Huh?
2641
01:30:13,200 --> 01:30:15,166
What are you doing
at a high school prom?
2642
01:30:15,168 --> 01:30:17,835
What, uh... what-what
are you doing here, babe?
2643
01:30:17,837 --> 01:30:20,271
Why you... why you here?
2644
01:30:20,273 --> 01:30:21,372
Principal Patowsky
is interested in us
2645
01:30:21,374 --> 01:30:23,807
redesigning the school,
so he asked us to stop by...
2646
01:30:23,809 --> 01:30:25,010
Oh, he did, huh?
2647
01:30:26,447 --> 01:30:28,313
Well played, Stewart.
2648
01:30:28,315 --> 01:30:30,448
You two know each other?
2649
01:30:30,450 --> 01:30:32,383
Ask Stewart.
2650
01:30:32,385 --> 01:30:34,452
Uh, yes, we went
to high school together.
2651
01:30:34,454 --> 01:30:37,187
I think I mentioned that
at our first meeting.
2652
01:30:37,189 --> 01:30:39,926
No. No, you didn't.
2653
01:30:41,294 --> 01:30:43,294
Teddy, I am so confused.
2654
01:30:43,296 --> 01:30:45,963
Why are you here?
And who is she?
2655
01:30:45,965 --> 01:30:47,798
I can explain.
It ain't what it look like.
2656
01:30:47,800 --> 01:30:49,468
I'm in here
with a bunch of kids,
2657
01:30:49,470 --> 01:30:51,269
dressed in street clothes.
2658
01:30:51,271 --> 01:30:54,205
Then remember I blew out
the, uh, Barbecue Shack.
2659
01:30:54,207 --> 01:30:56,074
Fire took me out of that thing.
2660
01:30:56,076 --> 01:30:58,476
And now my windshield
was-was messed...
2661
01:30:58,478 --> 01:31:00,378
got me messed up about the car.
2662
01:31:00,380 --> 01:31:03,915
My brakes ain't working, 'cause
I backed into this, um...
2663
01:31:03,917 --> 01:31:06,184
She gay. She ain't even...
2664
01:31:06,186 --> 01:31:08,319
She ain't even
interested in me.
2665
01:31:08,321 --> 01:31:10,188
So... so...
2666
01:31:10,190 --> 01:31:11,389
Goddamn it.
2667
01:31:11,391 --> 01:31:12,457
Lisa.
2668
01:31:12,459 --> 01:31:13,559
- Not now. Not now.
- Wait.
2669
01:31:13,561 --> 01:31:14,828
Lisa.
2670
01:31:16,329 --> 01:31:17,829
Okay, Lisa.
2671
01:31:17,831 --> 01:31:19,197
Lisa, Lisa.
2672
01:31:19,199 --> 01:31:20,531
Lisa, can you listen, please?
2673
01:31:20,533 --> 01:31:22,533
Lisa, please just listen.
2674
01:31:22,535 --> 01:31:24,970
What?
What are you gonna say, Teddy?
2675
01:31:27,073 --> 01:31:29,073
I'm a high school dropout.
2676
01:31:29,075 --> 01:31:31,109
Okay? That woman in there,
2677
01:31:31,111 --> 01:31:33,877
Carrie...
that's my night school teacher.
2678
01:31:33,879 --> 01:31:35,446
That's what I've been doing
all these evenings.
2679
01:31:35,448 --> 01:31:37,282
I've been studying
to get my GED
2680
01:31:37,284 --> 01:31:39,185
so that I can get a job
at Marvin's.
2681
01:31:40,353 --> 01:31:41,986
So you don't work there now?
2682
01:31:41,988 --> 01:31:43,854
I don't...
2683
01:31:43,856 --> 01:31:45,490
I don't work there yet.
2684
01:31:45,492 --> 01:31:47,558
Right now I work
at a fast food restaurant
2685
01:31:47,560 --> 01:31:49,594
called Christian Chicken,
2686
01:31:49,596 --> 01:31:52,130
where the chicken is Christian
for some reason.
2687
01:31:52,132 --> 01:31:53,231
JAYLEN:
Oh, wait. L-Lisa,
2688
01:31:53,233 --> 01:31:54,365
Lisa, Lisa, let me just
2689
01:31:54,367 --> 01:31:55,500
say this before you judge him.
2690
01:31:55,502 --> 01:31:57,167
It ain't that average chicken.
2691
01:31:57,169 --> 01:31:58,935
It's not the same fast food
2692
01:31:58,937 --> 01:32:00,971
that you be getting from
these other little hood spots.
2693
01:32:00,973 --> 01:32:03,308
It's got the flavor... I don't
know if they use a needle,
2694
01:32:03,310 --> 01:32:05,078
- but they get the flavor...
- Jaylen, Jaylen, Jaylen!
2695
01:32:06,146 --> 01:32:07,345
How do you know my name?
2696
01:32:07,347 --> 01:32:09,514
My nigga be talking about you
in the class all the time.
2697
01:32:09,516 --> 01:32:12,249
He said you was bad.
I didn't know you was that bad.
2698
01:32:12,251 --> 01:32:14,052
We're Teddy's classmates.
I'm Theresa.
2699
01:32:14,054 --> 01:32:17,322
- That's Jaylen, Mila, Mackenzie, and Luis.
- Hey.
2700
01:32:17,324 --> 01:32:19,590
You remember me?
I-I was actually the waiter
2701
01:32:19,592 --> 01:32:22,593
at the restaurant when Teddy
pulled all of his pubes,
2702
01:32:22,595 --> 01:32:24,528
and then... and he put 'em
in the cheesecake
2703
01:32:24,530 --> 01:32:25,997
to get out of paying.
2704
01:32:25,999 --> 01:32:29,099
Now we're best friends.
2705
01:32:29,101 --> 01:32:30,468
(SCOFFS)
2706
01:32:30,470 --> 01:32:32,404
Thank you for your honesty.
2707
01:32:34,506 --> 01:32:35,539
Honesty.
2708
01:32:35,541 --> 01:32:38,309
I know...
2709
01:32:38,311 --> 01:32:40,645
that this is a lot to take in.
2710
01:32:40,647 --> 01:32:41,679
Really?
2711
01:32:41,681 --> 01:32:43,380
But if you let me explain...
2712
01:32:43,382 --> 01:32:45,148
- No.
- If you just... if you let me explain...
2713
01:32:45,150 --> 01:32:47,086
No, Teddy, I'm done
with your explanations.
2714
01:32:48,954 --> 01:32:50,457
You lied to me
about everything.
2715
01:32:51,957 --> 01:32:53,090
Why?
2716
01:32:53,092 --> 01:32:55,025
To impress me?
2717
01:32:55,027 --> 01:32:57,194
Teddy, I make my own money.
2718
01:32:57,196 --> 01:32:59,529
You think I care about
what kind of car you drive
2719
01:32:59,531 --> 01:33:01,699
or what kind of watch
you have on?
2720
01:33:01,701 --> 01:33:04,101
That's not me.
2721
01:33:04,103 --> 01:33:06,203
If you think that,
then you don't know me.
2722
01:33:06,205 --> 01:33:07,504
That's not true.
2723
01:33:07,506 --> 01:33:08,605
If you don't know me,
2724
01:33:08,607 --> 01:33:09,673
then you couldn't truly love me.
2725
01:33:09,675 --> 01:33:11,343
That's not true, Lisa.
2726
01:33:14,514 --> 01:33:16,281
Don't come back
to the apartment tonight.
2727
01:33:19,451 --> 01:33:22,454
Well, maybe you could stay
with your night school friend.
2728
01:33:25,492 --> 01:33:27,527
Maybe she'd have
some use for this.
2729
01:33:28,661 --> 01:33:31,263
It's probably fake, right?
2730
01:33:35,033 --> 01:33:36,031
MAYA:
Lisa.
2731
01:33:36,033 --> 01:33:37,100
- Lis...
- (DOOR OPENS)
2732
01:33:37,102 --> 01:33:38,170
Lisa!
2733
01:33:39,271 --> 01:33:40,607
(DOOR CLOSES)
2734
01:33:48,045 --> 01:33:49,980
GLADYS:
I cut the crust off,
2735
01:33:49,982 --> 01:33:52,082
just how you like it.
2736
01:33:52,084 --> 01:33:53,650
Thanks, Ma.
2737
01:33:53,652 --> 01:33:57,587
You're not seriously skipping
that GED test, are you?
2738
01:33:57,589 --> 01:33:59,121
Yeah.
2739
01:33:59,123 --> 01:34:01,659
I mean, I was doing
all that stuff for Lisa.
2740
01:34:01,661 --> 01:34:04,327
If she's not around,
then what's the point?
2741
01:34:04,329 --> 01:34:06,463
My poor baby, I feel terrible.
2742
01:34:06,465 --> 01:34:09,499
Oh, Gladys, now,
stop coddling this boy.
2743
01:34:09,501 --> 01:34:11,133
- (SIGHS)
- You know, Theodore,
2744
01:34:11,135 --> 01:34:12,769
you're a grown-ass man.
2745
01:34:12,771 --> 01:34:14,739
You need to get
your shit together.
2746
01:34:14,741 --> 01:34:16,139
I know, Dad.
2747
01:34:16,141 --> 01:34:18,375
I mean,
you say you got dyslexia,
2748
01:34:18,377 --> 01:34:20,644
"dyscoglia."
2749
01:34:20,646 --> 01:34:22,144
Dyscalculia.
2750
01:34:22,146 --> 01:34:23,647
However you say it.
2751
01:34:23,649 --> 01:34:26,116
The issue is you're dishonest.
2752
01:34:26,118 --> 01:34:28,084
I don't blame that girl
for dumping you.
2753
01:34:28,086 --> 01:34:31,089
- Now, Gerald, that is enough.
- Uh-huh.
2754
01:34:32,324 --> 01:34:34,256
You know, maybe you're right.
2755
01:34:34,258 --> 01:34:36,292
Maybe I do deserve it.
2756
01:34:36,294 --> 01:34:37,461
You think?
2757
01:34:37,463 --> 01:34:40,063
I was being sarcastic.
2758
01:34:40,065 --> 01:34:42,399
I'll get your bed ready, baby.
2759
01:34:42,401 --> 01:34:44,201
Would you like a tuck-in?
2760
01:34:44,203 --> 01:34:45,404
Yes, please.
2761
01:34:46,605 --> 01:34:47,771
Thank you, Mom.
2762
01:34:47,773 --> 01:34:49,408
Anything for you, darling.
2763
01:34:55,180 --> 01:34:56,548
I failed.
2764
01:34:58,717 --> 01:35:00,986
I failed as a father.
2765
01:35:02,087 --> 01:35:03,655
A tuck-in?
2766
01:35:04,790 --> 01:35:06,323
(INDISTINCT WHISPERING)
2767
01:35:06,325 --> 01:35:08,558
Oh, my gosh, why'd he come
on the bus like that?
2768
01:35:08,560 --> 01:35:10,562
- I don't know.
- He ain't got no friends.
2769
01:35:14,600 --> 01:35:16,166
What's the problem?
2770
01:35:16,168 --> 01:35:18,100
♪
2771
01:35:18,102 --> 01:35:19,603
TEDDY:
Christian Chicken!
2772
01:35:19,605 --> 01:35:21,505
- (HORN HONKING)
- ♪ Call me Mr. Pitiful...
2773
01:35:21,507 --> 01:35:23,506
Honk once if you love chicken.
2774
01:35:23,508 --> 01:35:26,276
Honk twice
if you love the Lord.
2775
01:35:26,278 --> 01:35:28,111
Come and get your chicken
if you...
2776
01:35:28,113 --> 01:35:29,646
ready to start winning.
2777
01:35:29,648 --> 01:35:31,113
Hey.
2778
01:35:31,115 --> 01:35:32,281
Sellout!
2779
01:35:32,283 --> 01:35:33,315
What?
2780
01:35:33,317 --> 01:35:34,784
You a sellout, man.
2781
01:35:34,786 --> 01:35:36,218
Brother, I'm just trying
to make an honest living.
2782
01:35:36,220 --> 01:35:37,420
Why don't you get off my back?
2783
01:35:37,422 --> 01:35:39,422
Go get a job
at the post office, then.
2784
01:35:39,424 --> 01:35:41,190
- Get your ass up out of here.
- What? Say it again!
2785
01:35:41,192 --> 01:35:42,325
- (DOOR OPENS)
- Come on, man!
2786
01:35:42,327 --> 01:35:43,392
- Go ahead with that.
- (DOOR CLOSES)
2787
01:35:43,394 --> 01:35:44,628
Stay woke, brah.
2788
01:35:44,630 --> 01:35:47,698
Yeah, well, I see you ate the
chicken, you son of a bitch.
2789
01:35:50,235 --> 01:35:52,204
So, this is what
it's come to, huh?
2790
01:35:55,206 --> 01:35:57,206
You got some nerve, man.
2791
01:35:57,208 --> 01:35:58,543
Teddy, look.
2792
01:36:00,177 --> 01:36:02,812
I came here to apologize.
2793
01:36:02,814 --> 01:36:05,114
I'm on my break.
2794
01:36:05,116 --> 01:36:07,182
- I ain't got time for this.
- Teddy, please, just listen.
2795
01:36:07,184 --> 01:36:08,651
I don't want to hear nothing
you got to say, man.
2796
01:36:08,653 --> 01:36:09,485
No, please just listen to me.
2797
01:36:09,487 --> 01:36:10,619
I don't have nothing
to say to you.
2798
01:36:10,621 --> 01:36:12,655
I just... well, I have
something to say to you, okay?
2799
01:36:12,657 --> 01:36:13,757
- What? What?
- Give me 30 seconds, okay?
2800
01:36:13,759 --> 01:36:15,292
30 seconds. Go.
2801
01:36:15,294 --> 01:36:17,359
Listen, when-when we
were in high school,
2802
01:36:17,361 --> 01:36:18,795
you had everything
that I wanted.
2803
01:36:18,797 --> 01:36:20,496
You got 28 seconds left.
2804
01:36:20,498 --> 01:36:21,898
I had grades.
That's all I had.
2805
01:36:21,900 --> 01:36:25,201
You-you had sports,
friends, girls.
2806
01:36:25,203 --> 01:36:26,836
- I sucked at all that.
- 20.
2807
01:36:26,838 --> 01:36:28,772
I was 27 when I got
my first hand job.
2808
01:36:28,774 --> 01:36:31,640
You're at one, but before I...
before I walk away,
2809
01:36:31,642 --> 01:36:33,208
I want to tell you that's sad.
2810
01:36:33,210 --> 01:36:34,343
- That's my point.
- I don't care.
2811
01:36:34,345 --> 01:36:35,444
- Why are you telling me?
- My point is...
2812
01:36:35,446 --> 01:36:37,814
I was a late bloomer,
and I was desperate and sad,
2813
01:36:37,816 --> 01:36:39,281
and I blamed you.
2814
01:36:39,283 --> 01:36:41,517
And the other night,
2815
01:36:41,519 --> 01:36:44,653
when I got my revenge,
it felt awful.
2816
01:36:44,655 --> 01:36:46,755
I got into education
to make a difference
2817
01:36:46,757 --> 01:36:49,326
in people's lives,
not to ruin them.
2818
01:36:49,328 --> 01:36:50,860
- (CAR DOOR OPENS)
- CARRIE: Also,
2819
01:36:50,862 --> 01:36:53,562
I told Stewart here
I'd beat his ass
2820
01:36:53,564 --> 01:36:55,464
if he didn't come
and apologize.
2821
01:36:55,466 --> 01:36:56,865
That is true.
That was a part...
2822
01:36:56,867 --> 01:36:58,400
part of it, a small part.
2823
01:36:58,402 --> 01:36:59,902
Okay, you know what, guys?
2824
01:36:59,904 --> 01:37:03,640
I appreciate the whole
after-school special moment.
2825
01:37:03,642 --> 01:37:05,809
But understand that I am okay.
2826
01:37:05,811 --> 01:37:07,743
I am where I'm supposed to be.
2827
01:37:07,745 --> 01:37:09,378
- All right?
- Your destiny is to work
2828
01:37:09,380 --> 01:37:11,447
at a fast food joint
next to a strip club?
2829
01:37:11,449 --> 01:37:13,883
Yes. All right,
if I stand in the right spot
2830
01:37:13,885 --> 01:37:16,285
in this parking lot,
I can smell cocoa butter
2831
01:37:16,287 --> 01:37:18,253
and fried chicken
at the same time.
2832
01:37:18,255 --> 01:37:20,789
And I don't know about you
guys, but that's a win for me.
2833
01:37:20,791 --> 01:37:23,325
- Teddy, l-listen to me. Ted...
- Ain't no "Teddy, listen."
2834
01:37:23,327 --> 01:37:24,727
You know I wasn't
gonna pass that test,
2835
01:37:24,729 --> 01:37:26,261
so don't sit here and act like
2836
01:37:26,263 --> 01:37:27,897
it wasn't gonna be
a different story.
2837
01:37:27,899 --> 01:37:29,331
And don't act like
you don't want
2838
01:37:29,333 --> 01:37:30,799
to be able to finally say
that I'm dumb.
2839
01:37:30,801 --> 01:37:31,667
No, you're not.
2840
01:37:31,669 --> 01:37:33,902
You can finally say it, Stew.
Say it.
2841
01:37:33,904 --> 01:37:35,971
Teddy...
2842
01:37:35,973 --> 01:37:38,507
you are a lot of things.
2843
01:37:38,509 --> 01:37:39,876
A hustler.
2844
01:37:39,878 --> 01:37:41,310
A liar.
2845
01:37:41,312 --> 01:37:42,845
You're very short.
2846
01:37:42,847 --> 01:37:45,314
- Mad loud, too.
- Mmm.
2847
01:37:45,316 --> 01:37:47,616
But you are not dumb.
2848
01:37:47,618 --> 01:37:50,987
Now, this suit you got on
is dumb as hell.
2849
01:37:50,989 --> 01:37:52,721
- I rebuke you.
- You...?
2850
01:37:52,723 --> 01:37:54,456
Rebuke. I rebuke you!
2851
01:37:54,458 --> 01:37:55,924
- Boy... give me this thing.
- I'm going to work.
2852
01:37:55,926 --> 01:37:57,626
Now, let me go back to...
What you doing?
2853
01:37:57,628 --> 01:37:58,861
- What you doing, man?
- Take this suit off,
2854
01:37:58,863 --> 01:38:00,930
- and you gonna take this test.
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
2855
01:38:00,932 --> 01:38:02,564
- No, let's use our words.
- You gonna take this test.
2856
01:38:02,566 --> 01:38:03,699
- All right, come here.
- You know what?
2857
01:38:03,701 --> 01:38:04,867
- What you doing?
- She has a belt.
2858
01:38:04,869 --> 01:38:05,734
- She's got a belt!
- (TEDDY SCREAMS)
2859
01:38:05,736 --> 01:38:07,469
- You gonna take this suit off.
- Hey!
2860
01:38:07,471 --> 01:38:08,871
- Uh, guys, guys, guys, guys...
- (CLAMORING)
2861
01:38:08,873 --> 01:38:10,773
- You stop! You stay there!
- Get off me!
2862
01:38:10,775 --> 01:38:12,507
It's gonna hurt me more
than it's gonna hurt you.
2863
01:38:12,509 --> 01:38:14,643
Oh, God, I can't be
a part of this.
2864
01:38:14,645 --> 01:38:17,312
Gonna tear your ass up!
2865
01:38:17,314 --> 01:38:18,747
Okay, this seems like
a black thing,
2866
01:38:18,749 --> 01:38:20,816
so I-I'm just gonna
order us some food.
2867
01:38:20,818 --> 01:38:22,517
- All right! All right!
- Now, listen to me.
2868
01:38:22,519 --> 01:38:23,752
- You listening to me?
- Yes.
2869
01:38:23,754 --> 01:38:25,587
Now, you have worked
too hard to be
2870
01:38:25,589 --> 01:38:28,424
running around here
in a damn holy chicken suit.
2871
01:38:28,426 --> 01:38:30,359
- Okay?
- Yes.
2872
01:38:30,361 --> 01:38:32,393
Now, either you get in the car
2873
01:38:32,395 --> 01:38:34,763
and you take that test,
2874
01:38:34,765 --> 01:38:37,934
or I continue
to tenderize your ass!
2875
01:38:37,936 --> 01:38:39,437
Your choice.
2876
01:38:43,007 --> 01:38:45,475
- Are you ready?
- Good luck, guys.
2877
01:38:46,609 --> 01:38:48,342
- Yeah.
- I'm back.
2878
01:38:48,344 --> 01:38:49,914
Hey, Carrie.
2879
01:38:53,283 --> 01:38:54,418
(SIGHS)
2880
01:38:57,988 --> 01:38:59,888
- MACKENZIE: Teddy!
- MILA: Aw, Teddy's back.
2881
01:38:59,890 --> 01:39:01,657
Good to see you, bro.
What's up, Ted?
2882
01:39:01,659 --> 01:39:04,326
- MILA: Hey, Teddy.
- MACKENZIE: Teddy! Teddy!
2883
01:39:04,328 --> 01:39:05,326
Yes!
2884
01:39:05,328 --> 01:39:06,461
(CHUCKLING)
2885
01:39:06,463 --> 01:39:07,528
JAYLEN:
What up, king?
2886
01:39:07,530 --> 01:39:08,764
Come on, man.
2887
01:39:08,766 --> 01:39:10,698
Let's do this.
2888
01:39:10,700 --> 01:39:11,935
LUIS:
Our hero returns.
2889
01:39:13,437 --> 01:39:14,937
(SIGHS)
2890
01:39:14,939 --> 01:39:17,506
CARRIE:
Okay. We're complete.
2891
01:39:17,508 --> 01:39:19,742
So let's turn on
those computers
2892
01:39:19,744 --> 01:39:21,476
and ace this thing.
2893
01:39:21,478 --> 01:39:22,577
Go.
2894
01:39:22,579 --> 01:39:23,978
(SIGHS)
2895
01:39:23,980 --> 01:39:26,081
Okay, robot.
2896
01:39:26,083 --> 01:39:28,719
You bowing down to a god today.
2897
01:39:33,656 --> 01:39:35,389
Good luck, everybody.
2898
01:39:35,391 --> 01:39:38,594
♪
2899
01:39:38,596 --> 01:39:40,396
(GRUNTING QUIETLY)
2900
01:39:42,665 --> 01:39:43,968
(GRUNTS)
2901
01:39:47,104 --> 01:39:48,771
Ah.
2902
01:39:48,773 --> 01:39:49,807
(GROANS)
2903
01:39:51,976 --> 01:39:53,778
(SIGHS)
2904
01:39:54,912 --> 01:39:56,579
Come on, Teddy.
2905
01:40:02,553 --> 01:40:03,786
CARRIE:
Focus.
2906
01:40:03,788 --> 01:40:04,887
Concentrate.
2907
01:40:04,889 --> 01:40:06,521
Get rid of that mind chatter.
2908
01:40:06,523 --> 01:40:07,990
(GRUNTS)
2909
01:40:07,992 --> 01:40:09,457
- Come on. Focus.
- (YELLS)
2910
01:40:09,459 --> 01:40:11,492
- Focus!
- Oh, God!
2911
01:40:11,494 --> 01:40:13,028
(ECHOING): Focus.
You better get it right.
2912
01:40:13,030 --> 01:40:15,365
- (SCREAMING)
- Focus, focus, focus!
2913
01:40:16,901 --> 01:40:18,835
♪
2914
01:40:22,972 --> 01:40:24,909
♪
2915
01:40:42,959 --> 01:40:43,893
Yeah!
2916
01:40:45,929 --> 01:40:46,863
Shh.
2917
01:40:50,034 --> 01:40:52,834
Okay, everybody calm down,
all right?
2918
01:40:52,836 --> 01:40:54,902
The results will be in online
in just a minute.
2919
01:40:54,904 --> 01:40:59,106
- If you get over 145, you pass.
- TEDDY: She's right.
2920
01:40:59,108 --> 01:41:00,976
All right, you do the hard
work, you get rewarded for it.
2921
01:41:00,978 --> 01:41:02,476
- No need to panic.
- (ELECTRONIC CHIMING)
2922
01:41:02,478 --> 01:41:03,946
Hey, hey, hey.
The results just came in.
2923
01:41:03,948 --> 01:41:06,714
- Oh, shit.
- MACKENZIE: Oh, my gosh. Uh...
2924
01:41:06,716 --> 01:41:08,950
I passed. I got a 146!
2925
01:41:08,952 --> 01:41:11,185
- (WHOOPING, CHEERING)
- 146! Nice! Yeah!
2926
01:41:11,187 --> 01:41:12,754
- Way to go.
- MACKENZIE: Yes!
2927
01:41:12,756 --> 01:41:14,022
Management, here I come, baby!
2928
01:41:14,024 --> 01:41:15,190
- He deserved that.
- (CHIMING)
2929
01:41:15,192 --> 01:41:17,859
- 168.
- Oh!
2930
01:41:17,861 --> 01:41:19,660
- JAYLEN: Swim big!
- (WHOOPS)
2931
01:41:19,662 --> 01:41:21,596
I don't have to do
housework anymore.
2932
01:41:21,598 --> 01:41:23,430
- BOBBY: I passed!
- Yay! Bobby passed.
2933
01:41:23,432 --> 01:41:24,766
- Bobby passed, y'all.
- Yes, Bobby.
2934
01:41:24,768 --> 01:41:26,567
165, B!
2935
01:41:26,569 --> 01:41:27,935
- Way to go, man.
- (MILA WHOOPS)
2936
01:41:27,937 --> 01:41:30,104
- I'm going to college.
- CARRIE: Yeah!
2937
01:41:30,106 --> 01:41:31,706
- She ready! - Hey!
- Proud of you, kiddo.
2938
01:41:31,708 --> 01:41:32,840
Proud of you, kiddo.
2939
01:41:32,842 --> 01:41:35,542
Guys. Guys.
2940
01:41:35,544 --> 01:41:37,980
(WHIMPERING): I'm...
I'm gonna be a dental hy-enist.
2941
01:41:37,982 --> 01:41:39,780
"Hygienist."
He's saying "hygienist."
2942
01:41:39,782 --> 01:41:41,182
I'm gonna be
a dental hy-enist.
2943
01:41:41,184 --> 01:41:42,817
- Yes. It's good for you, man.
- (CHIMING)
2944
01:41:42,819 --> 01:41:43,918
JAYLEN:
Y'all ready for this?
2945
01:41:43,920 --> 01:41:45,953
- What?
- Jay got a 146!
2946
01:41:45,955 --> 01:41:47,989
Jay got a damn 146!
2947
01:41:47,991 --> 01:41:50,092
- Same as you, fam! Yeah!
- Yeah!
2948
01:41:50,094 --> 01:41:51,726
- Yeah! We won this!
- Proud of you guys.
2949
01:41:51,728 --> 01:41:53,094
- You said it.
- JAYLEN: What you got?
2950
01:41:53,096 --> 01:41:54,495
What you got? Come on, Teddy.
2951
01:41:54,497 --> 01:41:56,130
MACKENZIE:
Come on, Teddy.
2952
01:41:56,132 --> 01:41:58,032
I can't. I can't check it.
2953
01:41:58,034 --> 01:42:00,067
Here, Carrie, here,
you check mine for me.
2954
01:42:00,069 --> 01:42:01,702
(SIGHING):
Oh, God.
2955
01:42:01,704 --> 01:42:02,937
I'm too nervous, man.
2956
01:42:02,939 --> 01:42:04,505
MACKENZIE:
Come on.
2957
01:42:04,507 --> 01:42:06,107
JAYLEN:
Genius level.
2958
01:42:06,109 --> 01:42:07,942
MACKENZIE:
That's right.
2959
01:42:07,944 --> 01:42:09,509
Whew!
2960
01:42:09,511 --> 01:42:11,012
Teddy, I'm sorry.
2961
01:42:11,014 --> 01:42:12,680
Come on, Carrie.
Don't play right now.
2962
01:42:12,682 --> 01:42:14,048
Just... just tell me the score.
2963
01:42:14,050 --> 01:42:15,516
Tell me what I got.
2964
01:42:15,518 --> 01:42:16,586
I'm not joking with you this...
2965
01:42:17,887 --> 01:42:19,122
You didn't pass.
2966
01:42:30,166 --> 01:42:32,768
I got a 117.
2967
01:42:34,170 --> 01:42:36,069
I'm sorry, Teddy.
2968
01:42:36,071 --> 01:42:37,772
It doesn't matter.
You know why?
2969
01:42:37,774 --> 01:42:40,608
Because this is a...
this is a minor setback
2970
01:42:40,610 --> 01:42:42,143
for a major comeback.
2971
01:42:42,145 --> 01:42:44,245
- Yes.
- I'm-a take the test again, guys.
2972
01:42:44,247 --> 01:42:46,713
- That's right. Yes.
- You should!
2973
01:42:46,715 --> 01:42:48,249
- I'm-a take the test again.
- You take it again!
2974
01:42:48,251 --> 01:42:49,216
You're taking it again.
That's right.
2975
01:42:49,218 --> 01:42:50,251
(HIGH-PITCHED):
I said I'm-a take it again!
2976
01:42:50,253 --> 01:42:53,187
Oh, God, he's doing
that thing with his voice.
2977
01:42:53,189 --> 01:42:54,855
Yeah, I know.
I heard it, too.
2978
01:42:54,857 --> 01:42:56,589
(HIGH-PITCHED):
I'm-a take the test again!
2979
01:42:56,591 --> 01:42:57,757
♪ Hey, hey
2980
01:42:57,759 --> 01:42:59,293
♪ Some people sometimes
2981
01:42:59,295 --> 01:43:02,198
♪ They think they need
to call it a day... ♪
2982
01:43:05,168 --> 01:43:06,599
Is everybody getting
the same number?
2983
01:43:06,601 --> 01:43:07,600
- Hey, Marv.
- Yeah?
2984
01:43:07,602 --> 01:43:08,601
I failed.
2985
01:43:08,603 --> 01:43:09,970
You failed the test?
2986
01:43:09,972 --> 01:43:11,238
But I'm-a take it again.
2987
01:43:11,240 --> 01:43:12,940
That's why you stopped by?
2988
01:43:12,942 --> 01:43:15,009
♪ Ain't never been
caught up... ♪
2989
01:43:15,011 --> 01:43:16,243
I failed again.
2990
01:43:16,245 --> 01:43:18,845
Yep, but I'm-a take it
again now.
2991
01:43:18,847 --> 01:43:20,281
I'm-a take it again.
2992
01:43:20,283 --> 01:43:23,616
♪ I'm saying
I see my future... ♪
2993
01:43:23,618 --> 01:43:25,653
- (DOOR OPENS)
- TEDDY: Hey, y'all.
2994
01:43:25,655 --> 01:43:27,620
I definitely didn't pass
that one.
2995
01:43:27,622 --> 01:43:28,755
I mean, there was
a whole section
2996
01:43:28,757 --> 01:43:29,823
that I didn't even understand.
2997
01:43:29,825 --> 01:43:31,827
I'm-a take it again, though.
2998
01:43:33,996 --> 01:43:36,029
You sure he's not just dumb?
2999
01:43:36,031 --> 01:43:37,665
TEDDY:
Well, the new test results
3000
01:43:37,667 --> 01:43:39,000
just came in.
3001
01:43:39,002 --> 01:43:40,334
I failed.
3002
01:43:40,336 --> 01:43:42,069
Wait a minute.
3003
01:43:42,071 --> 01:43:43,737
Wait, I passed.
3004
01:43:43,739 --> 01:43:45,038
You what?
3005
01:43:45,040 --> 01:43:47,007
A 178.
That's, like, college, right?
3006
01:43:47,009 --> 01:43:48,174
- I passed.
- (GASPS)
3007
01:43:48,176 --> 01:43:49,310
- (CHEERING)
- You passed?
3008
01:43:49,312 --> 01:43:51,678
(CHEERING AND WHOOPING)
3009
01:43:51,680 --> 01:43:53,280
♪ Hey...
3010
01:43:53,282 --> 01:43:57,150
I passed! I passed!
3011
01:43:57,152 --> 01:43:58,752
You killed it, son.
3012
01:43:58,754 --> 01:44:00,821
I did it, man! I did it!
3013
01:44:00,823 --> 01:44:03,157
Hey, watch your back.
Watch your back!
3014
01:44:03,159 --> 01:44:05,159
Oh, yeah!
3015
01:44:05,161 --> 01:44:07,127
- ALL: Teddy! Teddy!
- Whoa!
3016
01:44:07,129 --> 01:44:08,895
- Teddy! Teddy!
- I passed!
3017
01:44:08,897 --> 01:44:10,230
Teddy! Teddy!
3018
01:44:10,232 --> 01:44:13,267
Thank you! Thank you!
3019
01:44:13,269 --> 01:44:15,604
(SOBBING)
3020
01:44:17,240 --> 01:44:18,740
TEDDY:
I don't deserve it!
3021
01:44:20,675 --> 01:44:23,676
We, the class of 2018,
represent a generation
3022
01:44:23,678 --> 01:44:25,379
of forward-thinking,
3023
01:44:25,381 --> 01:44:28,115
rule-challenging,
fearless leaders.
3024
01:44:28,117 --> 01:44:30,717
Let us go forward from this day
3025
01:44:30,719 --> 01:44:32,819
with confidence
and with courage.
3026
01:44:32,821 --> 01:44:36,189
As we cross this stage,
let us do so with the knowledge
3027
01:44:36,191 --> 01:44:41,227
that with faith in ourselves,
nothing is impossible.
3028
01:44:41,229 --> 01:44:43,063
- Thank you.
- (APPLAUSE)
3029
01:44:43,065 --> 01:44:44,966
(GASPS)
3030
01:44:48,036 --> 01:44:50,770
Beautiful and inspiring words.
3031
01:44:50,772 --> 01:44:51,938
Thank you, Mikayla.
3032
01:44:51,940 --> 01:44:53,340
Now, before we conclude,
3033
01:44:53,342 --> 01:44:55,241
I'm sure some of you
are wondering
3034
01:44:55,243 --> 01:44:59,312
why we have adult students
with us onstage.
3035
01:44:59,314 --> 01:45:01,148
Well, as you all know,
3036
01:45:01,150 --> 01:45:03,083
I am an innovator.
3037
01:45:03,085 --> 01:45:05,018
A maverick.
3038
01:45:05,020 --> 01:45:07,320
I don't play by the...
3039
01:45:07,322 --> 01:45:08,721
(CLEARS THROAT)
3040
01:45:08,723 --> 01:45:10,689
- (CHUCKLES)
- So I have decided,
3041
01:45:10,691 --> 01:45:12,926
for the first time
in Piedmont history,
3042
01:45:12,928 --> 01:45:14,328
to invite our
night school graduates
3043
01:45:14,330 --> 01:45:15,795
to join our seniors.
3044
01:45:15,797 --> 01:45:17,430
They have elected
one of their own
3045
01:45:17,432 --> 01:45:19,165
to speak on their behalf.
3046
01:45:19,167 --> 01:45:21,868
It is with great pride
3047
01:45:21,870 --> 01:45:24,104
that I introduce
Mr. Teddy Walker.
3048
01:45:24,106 --> 01:45:25,272
(APPLAUSE)
3049
01:45:25,274 --> 01:45:26,673
- Hey, all right.
- (WHOOPING)
3050
01:45:26,675 --> 01:45:28,041
- Yeah!
- You got this, Teddy.
3051
01:45:28,043 --> 01:45:30,043
- You got this.
- Teddy! Teddy!
3052
01:45:30,045 --> 01:45:31,411
Teddy! Teddy!
3053
01:45:31,413 --> 01:45:34,680
Teddy! Teddy! Teddy!
3054
01:45:34,682 --> 01:45:36,014
- Teddy! Teddy!
- (CHUCKLING)
3055
01:45:36,016 --> 01:45:37,085
Teddy!
3056
01:45:38,186 --> 01:45:39,819
(CLEARS THROAT)
3057
01:45:39,821 --> 01:45:42,755
Uh, let me just start off
by telling you guys
3058
01:45:42,757 --> 01:45:44,126
a little something about me.
3059
01:45:45,460 --> 01:45:48,261
I'm Teddy Walker, and...
3060
01:45:48,263 --> 01:45:50,029
I'm a liar.
3061
01:45:50,031 --> 01:45:51,865
♪
3062
01:45:51,867 --> 01:45:55,368
For years, I've been pretending
to be somebody else.
3063
01:45:55,370 --> 01:45:57,337
Somebody that I'm not.
3064
01:45:57,339 --> 01:46:02,275
And my reason for doing that
is because I was ashamed.
3065
01:46:02,277 --> 01:46:05,713
Ashamed that I didn't learn
like my classmates.
3066
01:46:07,115 --> 01:46:10,716
Ashamed that I couldn't
take a test.
3067
01:46:10,718 --> 01:46:13,753
Ashamed that I let my family
and my friends down.
3068
01:46:13,755 --> 01:46:16,923
I mean, I put so much time
and energy into creating
3069
01:46:16,925 --> 01:46:19,325
this fake version
of Teddy Walker
3070
01:46:19,327 --> 01:46:22,728
that I forgot the value that
went into learning in school.
3071
01:46:22,730 --> 01:46:24,931
I'm talking about honesty.
3072
01:46:24,933 --> 01:46:27,167
I'm talking about
accepting who you are.
3073
01:46:27,169 --> 01:46:28,968
And it wasn't until I met
3074
01:46:28,970 --> 01:46:32,372
my amazing night school
classmates and...
3075
01:46:32,374 --> 01:46:35,443
and a teacher
that actually believed in me...
3076
01:46:37,112 --> 01:46:41,447
...that I was able
to accept who I was.
3077
01:46:41,449 --> 01:46:43,516
As a loudmouth hustler
with a boatload
3078
01:46:43,518 --> 01:46:46,320
of learning disabilities.
3079
01:46:55,029 --> 01:46:57,829
You know, for any of you
who may have struggled
3080
01:46:57,831 --> 01:47:00,098
- to get it right the first time...
- Lisa. - Hi.
3081
01:47:00,100 --> 01:47:02,402
...that I am living proof
3082
01:47:02,404 --> 01:47:06,972
that you can get it together
on a second chance.
3083
01:47:06,974 --> 01:47:08,807
I mean, I done had
a lot of chances.
3084
01:47:08,809 --> 01:47:10,209
Mm-hmm.
3085
01:47:10,211 --> 01:47:12,545
- 'Cause I messed up a lot.
- Mm-hmm.
3086
01:47:12,547 --> 01:47:15,415
But I made it
to the other side.
3087
01:47:15,417 --> 01:47:17,015
I mean, hell, we all did.
3088
01:47:17,017 --> 01:47:18,218
Ain't that right,
night school crew?
3089
01:47:18,220 --> 01:47:19,485
Hell yeah.
3090
01:47:19,487 --> 01:47:21,954
(CHEERING, WHOOPING)
3091
01:47:21,956 --> 01:47:23,889
TEDDY:
We all got second chances.
3092
01:47:23,891 --> 01:47:25,193
And to my dad.
3093
01:47:26,528 --> 01:47:28,194
He was... he was tough on me.
3094
01:47:28,196 --> 01:47:31,063
He said some things,
but he said it out of love.
3095
01:47:31,065 --> 01:47:32,532
(TEDDY SNIFFLING)
3096
01:47:32,534 --> 01:47:34,099
(CRYING): Dad, I know
you ain't never mean it
3097
01:47:34,101 --> 01:47:35,500
when you used to say
some of the things
3098
01:47:35,502 --> 01:47:37,003
that you used to say.
3099
01:47:37,005 --> 01:47:38,338
You know,
you used to say stuff like,
3100
01:47:38,340 --> 01:47:40,506
"I wish I ain't never had you."
3101
01:47:40,508 --> 01:47:43,108
Or like, uh,
3102
01:47:43,110 --> 01:47:44,843
- "That was a waste of sperm."
- CARRIE: Oh!
3103
01:47:44,845 --> 01:47:46,511
- Oh.
- "Oh, God, if I could
3104
01:47:46,513 --> 01:47:48,814
get that nut back."
I remember you said that.
3105
01:47:48,816 --> 01:47:51,117
But all that stuff
was said out of love
3106
01:47:51,119 --> 01:47:52,884
to motivate me and push me.
3107
01:47:52,886 --> 01:47:54,920
And you thought
you didn't do good,
3108
01:47:54,922 --> 01:47:56,090
but look at me now.
3109
01:47:57,458 --> 01:48:00,192
Anything is possible!
3110
01:48:00,194 --> 01:48:02,328
(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)
3111
01:48:02,330 --> 01:48:04,231
(WHISTLING)
3112
01:48:05,966 --> 01:48:07,866
I did it!
3113
01:48:07,868 --> 01:48:09,868
- Yeah! Hurray!
- Go, Teddy!
3114
01:48:09,870 --> 01:48:10,868
Hey, Dad.
3115
01:48:10,870 --> 01:48:12,137
I did it, Dad!
3116
01:48:12,139 --> 01:48:13,606
I told you.
3117
01:48:13,608 --> 01:48:14,940
What'd I tell you?
3118
01:48:14,942 --> 01:48:17,510
(CHUCKLING):
Okay. Okay.
3119
01:48:17,512 --> 01:48:19,911
Yeah!
3120
01:48:19,913 --> 01:48:21,546
(WHOOPS)
3121
01:48:21,548 --> 01:48:24,450
Can't believe I took off work
for this shit.
3122
01:48:24,452 --> 01:48:26,286
(CHEERING)
3123
01:48:26,288 --> 01:48:28,287
(LAUGHING)
3124
01:48:28,289 --> 01:48:31,056
Thank you, guys,
for the flowers.
3125
01:48:31,058 --> 01:48:33,927
- Look what it says.
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
3126
01:48:36,398 --> 01:48:38,196
- Hey!
- Well, I definitely need the work.
3127
01:48:38,198 --> 01:48:40,434
- I need the money, so...
- That's, uh... that's Teddy.
3128
01:48:44,204 --> 01:48:46,038
MARVIN: When's the last time
you were in love?
3129
01:48:46,040 --> 01:48:48,039
- I work. I have a job. I'm saving lives.
- Okay. Okay.
3130
01:48:48,041 --> 01:48:50,208
- Okay. You love your job.
- That's what I love to do.
3131
01:48:50,210 --> 01:48:52,377
DENISE:
Oh, there he is.
3132
01:48:52,379 --> 01:48:55,180
My little, smart,
dumb-ass brother.
3133
01:48:55,182 --> 01:48:56,315
I'm so proud of you.
3134
01:48:56,317 --> 01:48:57,582
- Oh, thank you.
- Yes.
3135
01:48:57,584 --> 01:48:59,251
- Good to see you.
- Good to see you.
3136
01:48:59,253 --> 01:49:00,486
- Thank you. - Yes.
- (MARVIN BLOWS INTO HANDS)
3137
01:49:00,488 --> 01:49:02,020
- Ah. Give me some, man.
- Ah! Congrats.
3138
01:49:02,022 --> 01:49:04,056
Thank you, man.
How do I look? Do I look smart?
3139
01:49:04,058 --> 01:49:05,490
You look unbelievable.
Let me see your smart face.
3140
01:49:05,492 --> 01:49:06,625
- Hmm.
- Hit it. One, two, three.
3141
01:49:06,627 --> 01:49:07,559
Show me the smart face.
3142
01:49:07,561 --> 01:49:08,527
- Yeah, it's still stupid.
- Show it to me.
3143
01:49:08,529 --> 01:49:10,228
- That's it. - I love it.
- Okay, that's fine.
3144
01:49:10,230 --> 01:49:11,463
- Okay. All right.
- That's all right.
3145
01:49:11,465 --> 01:49:12,567
(LIGHT LAUGHTER)
3146
01:49:14,068 --> 01:49:16,136
- (WHISPERS): Call me.
- (CLEARS THROAT)
3147
01:49:18,238 --> 01:49:20,971
Hey.
3148
01:49:20,973 --> 01:49:22,276
That was a beautiful speech,
Teddy.
3149
01:49:24,110 --> 01:49:26,347
That's the guy
I fell in love with.
3150
01:49:28,615 --> 01:49:30,584
Then allow me
to reintroduce myself.
3151
01:49:32,985 --> 01:49:34,588
I'm Teddy Walker.
3152
01:49:36,055 --> 01:49:37,590
I'm a high school dropout.
3153
01:49:37,592 --> 01:49:40,127
I work at a fast food joint.
3154
01:49:41,228 --> 01:49:42,262
I live with my mom.
3155
01:49:43,364 --> 01:49:45,129
And I take the bus.
3156
01:49:45,131 --> 01:49:47,431
But I would love...
3157
01:49:47,433 --> 01:49:49,903
I would absolutely love it...
3158
01:49:52,005 --> 01:49:54,308
...if you would let me
take you on a date.
3159
01:49:56,976 --> 01:49:59,210
Nice to meet you, Teddy Walker.
3160
01:49:59,212 --> 01:50:02,381
(CHUCKLING)
3161
01:50:02,383 --> 01:50:04,982
I'd like that.
3162
01:50:04,984 --> 01:50:07,051
You're gonna have to pay
for everything
3163
01:50:07,053 --> 01:50:09,086
because I...
I don't have any money.
3164
01:50:09,088 --> 01:50:10,454
Oh, I figured.
3165
01:50:10,456 --> 01:50:12,524
I mean, like no money.
3166
01:50:12,526 --> 01:50:13,592
I got you.
3167
01:50:13,594 --> 01:50:14,693
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
3168
01:50:14,695 --> 01:50:17,362
THERESA:
Let's do a photo.
3169
01:50:17,364 --> 01:50:18,730
Night school photo.
3170
01:50:18,732 --> 01:50:20,197
"GED" on three. You ready?
3171
01:50:20,199 --> 01:50:22,667
- "GED" on three.
- One, two, three.
3172
01:50:22,669 --> 01:50:25,070
- ALL: GED!
- (CAMERA CLICKS)
3173
01:50:25,072 --> 01:50:27,007
♪
3174
01:50:37,751 --> 01:50:42,587
♪ Huh! Hey ya
3175
01:50:42,589 --> 01:50:45,289
- ♪ Hey ya...
- STEWART: Hey! Hey! Hey!
3176
01:50:45,291 --> 01:50:46,690
- (MUSIC STOPS)
- Hey, hey, hey!
3177
01:50:46,692 --> 01:50:48,560
What is going on?
3178
01:50:48,562 --> 01:50:50,729
It's turn-up time, Stewart.
3179
01:50:50,731 --> 01:50:52,431
Well, this...
3180
01:50:52,433 --> 01:50:55,132
- is my house.
- Prove it.
3181
01:50:55,134 --> 01:50:57,435
- ♪ One, two, three, uh!
- (GRUNTING RHYTHMICALLY)
3182
01:50:57,437 --> 01:51:00,772
(CROWD SHOUTING EXCITEDLY)
3183
01:51:00,774 --> 01:51:03,408
♪ Shake it, shake-shake it,
shake it ♪
3184
01:51:03,410 --> 01:51:05,309
- ♪ Oh, oh
- ♪ Shake it, shake it
3185
01:51:05,311 --> 01:51:07,244
♪ Shake it, shake it,
shake it ♪
3186
01:51:07,246 --> 01:51:09,747
♪ Shake it like
a Polaroid picture ♪
3187
01:51:09,749 --> 01:51:11,415
♪ All right,
all right, all right ♪
3188
01:51:11,417 --> 01:51:13,017
♪ All right, all right,
all right, all right ♪
3189
01:51:13,019 --> 01:51:14,051
♪ All right,
all right, all right ♪
3190
01:51:14,053 --> 01:51:16,020
♪ All right, all right,
all right, all right ♪
3191
01:51:16,022 --> 01:51:17,288
♪ Oh, oh
3192
01:51:17,290 --> 01:51:19,091
- ♪ I...
- ♪ Here we go.
3193
01:51:23,062 --> 01:51:24,997
♪
3194
01:51:24,999 --> 01:51:27,699
Subtitles by explosiveskull
3195
01:51:27,701 --> 01:51:30,267
♪ Pat yourself on the back
3196
01:51:30,269 --> 01:51:32,703
- ♪ You just did that
- ♪ Hey ♪
3197
01:51:32,705 --> 01:51:34,605
♪ Pat yourself on the back
'cause ♪
3198
01:51:34,607 --> 01:51:37,709
- ♪ On the back ♪
- ♪ You just did that
3199
01:51:37,711 --> 01:51:40,177
♪ You just graduated
3200
01:51:40,179 --> 01:51:42,781
♪ You need a vacation
3201
01:51:42,783 --> 01:51:44,748
♪ Thanks for
all your patience ♪
3202
01:51:44,750 --> 01:51:46,383
♪ Hands up 'cause we made it
3203
01:51:46,385 --> 01:51:47,785
- ♪ Hands up ♪
- ♪ Everyone go
3204
01:51:47,787 --> 01:51:49,253
♪ Oh-oh, oh, oh, oh
3205
01:51:49,255 --> 01:51:50,522
♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh
3206
01:51:50,524 --> 01:51:51,723
♪ Oh-oh, oh, oh, oh
3207
01:51:51,725 --> 01:51:52,824
♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh
3208
01:51:52,826 --> 01:51:54,525
♪ You just graduated
3209
01:51:54,527 --> 01:51:56,560
♪ Put your hands up
'cause you made it ♪
3210
01:51:56,562 --> 01:51:57,661
♪ Hands up ♪
3211
01:51:57,663 --> 01:51:59,563
♪ First in the fam, I made it
3212
01:51:59,565 --> 01:52:01,433
- ♪ First ♪
- ♪ First in the fam graduatin' ♪
3213
01:52:01,435 --> 01:52:03,300
- ♪ First ♪
- ♪ Put a lot of time in
3214
01:52:03,302 --> 01:52:05,102
- ♪ I almost failed it
- ♪ Failed it ♪
3215
01:52:05,104 --> 01:52:06,770
♪ I'm talkin' bad, bad grades,
you couldn't save me ♪
3216
01:52:06,772 --> 01:52:07,638
- ♪ Bad, bad ♪
- ♪ Middle finger
3217
01:52:07,640 --> 01:52:08,839
♪ Every teacher tried
to play me ♪
3218
01:52:08,841 --> 01:52:11,140
- ♪ "F" you ♪
- ♪ Now I'm on their playlist
3219
01:52:11,142 --> 01:52:12,444
- ♪ Yeah, they play me
- ♪ Ah ♪
3220
01:52:12,446 --> 01:52:14,178
♪ Mama said it wasn't crazy,
didn't faze me ♪
3221
01:52:14,180 --> 01:52:15,647
- ♪ At all ♪
- ♪ You want a class reunion
3222
01:52:15,649 --> 01:52:17,248
- ♪ Now you gotta pay me
- ♪ Check ♪
3223
01:52:17,250 --> 01:52:18,816
♪ I know my whole alma mater
probably hate me ♪
3224
01:52:18,818 --> 01:52:20,451
- ♪ So? ♪
- ♪ I was the class clown
3225
01:52:20,453 --> 01:52:22,118
♪ Now I flex Grammys
3226
01:52:22,120 --> 01:52:24,321
♪ They all pregnant, shit,
I'm flyin' on a Bentley ♪
3227
01:52:24,323 --> 01:52:25,489
♪ And when you
picked 'em, bitch ♪
3228
01:52:25,491 --> 01:52:27,157
- ♪ You should've picked me
- ♪ That ♪
3229
01:52:27,159 --> 01:52:29,527
♪ Hey, you just graduated
3230
01:52:29,529 --> 01:52:32,096
♪ You need a vacation
3231
01:52:32,098 --> 01:52:34,398
♪ Thanks for
all your patience ♪
3232
01:52:34,400 --> 01:52:36,100
♪ Hands up 'cause we made it
3233
01:52:36,102 --> 01:52:37,468
- ♪ One, two, hands up ♪
- ♪ Everyone go
3234
01:52:37,470 --> 01:52:38,638
♪ Oh-oh, oh, oh, oh
3235
01:52:39,739 --> 01:52:41,171
♪ Oh-oh, oh, oh, oh
3236
01:52:41,173 --> 01:52:42,439
♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh
3237
01:52:42,441 --> 01:52:44,140
♪ You just graduated
3238
01:52:44,142 --> 01:52:45,709
♪ Put your hands up
'cause you made it ♪
3239
01:52:45,711 --> 01:52:47,611
- ♪ Hands up ♪
- ♪ When I walk across the stage ♪
3240
01:52:47,613 --> 01:52:49,179
- ♪ I ain't lookin' back
- ♪ Lookin' back ♪
3241
01:52:49,181 --> 01:52:50,347
♪ When I walk
through that door ♪
3242
01:52:50,349 --> 01:52:51,883
- ♪ I ain't comin' back
- ♪ Comin' back ♪
3243
01:52:51,885 --> 01:52:53,851
♪ Take my cap and gown off,
then I throw my hat ♪
3244
01:52:53,853 --> 01:52:55,486
- ♪ Whoo! ♪
- ♪ Pat my dawg on the back
3245
01:52:55,488 --> 01:52:57,220
- ♪ 'Cause he did that
- ♪ My dawg ♪
3246
01:52:57,222 --> 01:52:59,188
♪ Kiss my crush in the mouth
'cause it's 'bout time ♪
3247
01:52:59,190 --> 01:53:01,358
♪ I hope you're all about your
money, 'cause I'm 'bout mine ♪
3248
01:53:01,360 --> 01:53:02,560
- ♪ Check ♪
- ♪ I'm-a miss homecoming
3249
01:53:02,562 --> 01:53:04,595
- ♪ Miss spring break
- ♪ Spring break ♪
3250
01:53:04,597 --> 01:53:06,630
♪ Please don't try to be my
friend, 'cause it's too late ♪
3251
01:53:06,632 --> 01:53:08,532
♪ You think I'm-a let you
play me like a dumb-ass? ♪
3252
01:53:08,534 --> 01:53:10,400
- ♪ Never ♪
- ♪ I learned how to count a check ♪
3253
01:53:10,402 --> 01:53:11,702
- ♪ Up in math class
- ♪ Clever ♪
3254
01:53:11,704 --> 01:53:13,571
♪ I learned unprotected sex
ain't so bad ♪
3255
01:53:13,573 --> 01:53:15,406
- ♪ Mmm ♪
- ♪ I had friends that passed out ♪
3256
01:53:15,408 --> 01:53:16,874
♪ Some didn't pass, thank God
3257
01:53:16,876 --> 01:53:19,175
♪ You just graduated
3258
01:53:19,177 --> 01:53:21,512
♪ You need a vacation
3259
01:53:21,514 --> 01:53:23,781
♪ Thanks for
all your patience ♪
3260
01:53:23,783 --> 01:53:25,549
♪ Hands up 'cause we made it
3261
01:53:25,551 --> 01:53:26,917
- ♪ Hands up, hands up ♪
- ♪ Everyone go
3262
01:53:26,919 --> 01:53:28,218
♪ Oh-oh, oh, oh, oh
3263
01:53:28,220 --> 01:53:29,386
♪ Oh-oh,
oh, oh, oh ♪
3264
01:53:29,388 --> 01:53:30,487
♪ Oh-oh, oh, oh, oh
3265
01:53:30,489 --> 01:53:31,822
♪ Oh-oh,
oh, oh, oh ♪
3266
01:53:31,824 --> 01:53:33,556
♪ You just graduated
3267
01:53:33,558 --> 01:53:35,592
♪ Put your hands up
'cause you made it ♪
3268
01:53:35,594 --> 01:53:36,794
- ♪ Hands up ♪
- ♪ Everyone go
3269
01:53:36,796 --> 01:53:37,928
♪ Oh-oh, oh, oh, oh
3270
01:53:37,930 --> 01:53:39,196
♪ Oh-oh,
oh, oh, oh ♪
3271
01:53:39,198 --> 01:53:40,264
♪ Oh-oh, oh, oh, oh
3272
01:53:40,266 --> 01:53:41,532
♪ Oh-oh,
oh, oh, oh ♪
3273
01:53:41,534 --> 01:53:43,734
♪ You just graduated
3274
01:53:43,736 --> 01:53:45,703
♪ Thank you for your patience
3275
01:53:45,705 --> 01:53:46,737
♪ Everyone go
3276
01:53:46,739 --> 01:53:47,939
♪ Oh-oh, oh, oh, oh
3277
01:53:47,941 --> 01:53:49,340
♪ Oh-oh,
oh, oh, oh ♪
3278
01:53:49,342 --> 01:53:50,507
♪ Oh-oh, oh, oh, oh
3279
01:53:50,509 --> 01:53:51,742
♪ Oh-oh,
oh, oh, oh ♪
3280
01:53:51,744 --> 01:53:53,611
♪ You just graduated
3281
01:53:53,613 --> 01:53:55,713
♪ Put your hands up
'cause you made it ♪
3282
01:53:55,715 --> 01:53:57,715
- ♪ Hands up ♪
- ♪ Oh-oh, oh, oh, oh
3283
01:53:57,717 --> 01:53:58,949
♪ Oh-oh,
oh, oh, oh ♪
3284
01:53:58,951 --> 01:54:00,551
♪ Oh-oh, oh, oh, oh
3285
01:54:00,553 --> 01:54:01,752
♪ Oh-oh,
oh, oh, oh ♪
3286
01:54:01,754 --> 01:54:03,654
♪ You just graduated
3287
01:54:03,656 --> 01:54:05,355
♪ Thank you for your patience
3288
01:54:05,357 --> 01:54:06,389
♪ Everyone go
3289
01:54:06,391 --> 01:54:07,791
♪ Oh-oh, oh, oh, oh
3290
01:54:07,793 --> 01:54:09,192
♪ Oh-oh,
oh, oh, oh ♪
3291
01:54:09,194 --> 01:54:10,426
♪ Oh-oh, oh, oh, oh
3292
01:54:10,428 --> 01:54:11,661
♪ Oh-oh,
oh, oh, oh ♪
3293
01:54:11,663 --> 01:54:13,364
♪ You just graduated
3294
01:54:13,366 --> 01:54:15,466
♪ Put your hands up
'cause you made it ♪
3295
01:54:15,468 --> 01:54:16,802
♪ Hands up.
3296
01:54:18,671 --> 01:54:22,472
♪ Nobody's ever,
ever gonna stop el sueño ♪
3297
01:54:22,474 --> 01:54:24,675
♪ Ah, ah, ah ♪
3298
01:54:24,677 --> 01:54:28,311
♪ No desert, no snake
gonna take me down ♪
3299
01:54:28,313 --> 01:54:31,314
♪ Take me down, no way ♪
3300
01:54:31,316 --> 01:54:35,284
♪ Nobody's ever,
ever gonna stop el sueño ♪
3301
01:54:35,286 --> 01:54:37,521
♪ Ah, ah, ah ♪
3302
01:54:37,523 --> 01:54:40,824
♪ I'm always gonna find
the strength to survive ♪
3303
01:54:40,826 --> 01:54:43,660
♪ To survive ♪
3304
01:54:43,662 --> 01:54:46,729
♪ El sueño, el sueño
3305
01:54:46,731 --> 01:54:51,669
♪ El sueño, el sueño,
el sueño ♪
3306
01:54:51,671 --> 01:54:55,838
♪ I'm living the dream
3307
01:54:55,840 --> 01:54:58,574
♪ Out here busy gettin' money
3308
01:54:58,576 --> 01:55:01,578
♪ I got two bad...
countin' for me ♪
3309
01:55:01,580 --> 01:55:03,814
♪ I want a seven-digit house
on the hill ♪
3310
01:55:03,816 --> 01:55:06,416
- ♪ I'm-a do it good!
- ♪ This is my dream
3311
01:55:06,418 --> 01:55:08,018
♪ You know I keep it trill
3312
01:55:08,020 --> 01:55:10,453
♪ They call me Young Coconut,
I'm en la playa ♪
3313
01:55:10,455 --> 01:55:12,556
- ♪ Playa!
- ♪ Don't get it twisted
3314
01:55:12,558 --> 01:55:14,992
- ♪ 'Cause I'm never gonna retire ♪
- ♪ Oh, hell no! ♪
3315
01:55:14,994 --> 01:55:17,593
♪ I Uber in these streets,
I'm wildin' with my peeps ♪
3316
01:55:17,595 --> 01:55:19,328
♪ I got a stripper on my seat
3317
01:55:19,330 --> 01:55:21,030
♪ 'Cause she know
Jay brought that beat ♪
3318
01:55:21,032 --> 01:55:22,498
♪ El sueño
3319
01:55:22,500 --> 01:55:26,036
♪ Nobody's ever,
ever gonna stop el sueño ♪
3320
01:55:26,038 --> 01:55:28,005
♪ Ah, ah, ah ♪
3321
01:55:28,007 --> 01:55:31,407
♪ No desert, no snake
gonna take me down ♪
3322
01:55:31,409 --> 01:55:34,343
♪ Take me down, no way ♪
3323
01:55:34,345 --> 01:55:38,514
♪ Nobody's ever,
ever gonna stop el sueño ♪
3324
01:55:38,516 --> 01:55:40,717
♪ Ah, ah, ah ♪
3325
01:55:40,719 --> 01:55:44,789
♪ I'm always gonna find
the strength to survive ♪
3326
01:55:46,591 --> 01:55:48,794
♪ ¡El sueño! ♪
3326
01:55:49,305 --> 01:55:55,438
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