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1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
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2
00:01:17,840 --> 00:01:21,435
Oh, Al, please let me go with you.
3
00:01:21,640 --> 00:01:25,110
Come on, Al, please?
Please? I really, really wanna go.
4
00:01:25,320 --> 00:01:27,595
No! Now, let me explain this
one more time.
5
00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:29,518
This is my vacation.
6
00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:32,792
I work hard all year long alone.
7
00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:35,514
I'm going on my vacation alone.
8
00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:39,712
Be brave, Peg. Be back in a week.
9
00:01:40,320 --> 00:01:42,754
- Goodbye, Al.
- Goodbye, Peg.
10
00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:01,277
Good to get away.
11
00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:04,356
Look at my itinerary.
12
00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:06,989
"Bundy World Tour '92.
13
00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:09,996
Day one: Arrive in New York."
14
00:02:10,200 --> 00:02:13,476
Courtesy of Escape From New York.
15
00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:19,075
Then it's on to the nation's capital
for Happy Hook er Goes to Washington.
16
00:02:21,640 --> 00:02:23,153
- Day two.
- AI...
17
00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:26,750
Peg, you're not allowed to "Al."
18
00:02:26,960 --> 00:02:29,872
There will be no "Al-ing"
for my entire vacation.
19
00:02:30,080 --> 00:02:31,399
I am not here.
20
00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:35,438
Day two: I shall Concorde over
to merry old England...
21
00:02:35,640 --> 00:02:38,950
...for British Babes Need Discipline.
22
00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:41,398
- But, Al...
- Peg, sorry...
23
00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:44,160
...the captain's turned on
the "No Peg" sign.
24
00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:49,232
Dad, don't leave yet.
A terrible tragedy's befallen Kelly.
25
00:02:49,440 --> 00:02:52,193
Sorry. As you can see,
my seat is now in an upright position.
26
00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:58,039
I don't understand. Every time he goes
to the doctor, everything checks out.
27
00:02:58,240 --> 00:03:00,276
Well, it's like when you bring
your car in.
28
00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:03,517
It never knocks and pings
when the mechanic is looking at it.
29
00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:04,994
The minute you get it home...
30
00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:09,716
...it is the same old piece
of backfiring junk it always was.
31
00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:13,675
- And what happened to Kelly?
- Her modelling school closed down.
32
00:03:13,880 --> 00:03:18,078
It seems they moved upstairs and most
of the models can't find it anymore.
33
00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:24,271
Poor Kelly. She must be crushed.
34
00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:26,675
She spent so much time
learning the art...
35
00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:29,314
...of rapidly undressing
and dressing again.
36
00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:33,592
I don't think she learned that
at modelling school, Mom.
37
00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:38,992
Now, Bud, it is not nice
to talk about your sister.
38
00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:41,760
But she's not here,
so I guess it's all right.
39
00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:44,152
- Where is she?
- Where she always goes...
40
00:03:44,360 --> 00:03:45,952
...to contemplate during a crisis.
41
00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:49,755
She's at TV World,
Chicago's finest theme park.
42
00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:52,713
Yes, that's where she went
to contemplate the significance...
43
00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:57,038
...of why Garfield can talk
while Odie speaketh not.
44
00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:00,755
That was a rough six months.
45
00:04:02,120 --> 00:04:04,953
She's probably wandering
around Kung Fu Land.
46
00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:08,596
What if she tries to do
something rash, like think?
47
00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:14,596
Am I truly nothing?
Is this all there is to life?
48
00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:22,632
What's wrong, ducky?
You haven't touched a thing.
49
00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:26,028
I don't blame you.
I'm not hungry either.
50
00:04:26,840 --> 00:04:29,877
What should I do with my life?
I need a sign.
51
00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:32,194
Oh, there's one.
52
00:04:36,480 --> 00:04:39,916
Master, the modelling school's closed
and now I'm lost.
53
00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:42,395
Which path should I follow?
54
00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:50,113
Press button A
for Eastern philosophy.
55
00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:54,594
Press B for last night's
bask etball scores.
56
00:04:55,560 --> 00:04:58,233
Press C if you'd lik e
your own personalized videotape...
57
00:04:58,440 --> 00:05:00,908
...of you pressing C.
58
00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:08,153
You have pressed A,
heavy Eastern philosophy.
59
00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:10,510
My child, remember...
60
00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:13,473
...the wise man can eat no more
with four chopsticks...
61
00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:15,432
...than he can with two.
62
00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:18,791
- Unless he...
- Unless he what?
63
00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:22,718
What, master, what?
64
00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:25,514
Who keeps feeding this duck?
65
00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:29,472
Unless he what?
Tell me before I kill you!
66
00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:33,753
Excuse me. Are you from that
modelling school that closed down?
67
00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:36,674
Yeah, how did you know?
68
00:05:36,880 --> 00:05:41,112
Well, I saw the blonde hair and
the loaf of bread and took a wild guess.
69
00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:43,557
Listen, I have some advice.
70
00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:45,193
Oh, wait, here.
71
00:05:50,520 --> 00:05:51,953
Thank you.
72
00:05:52,160 --> 00:05:53,559
Get a job.
73
00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:55,239
But how, master?
74
00:05:57,040 --> 00:06:00,316
Look, you go to the Personnel office
and ask for an application.
75
00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:05,398
Thank you. You're so much wiser
than the other statue.
76
00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:10,388
That's why I've got a pointed stick
and this bag of doody.
77
00:06:17,840 --> 00:06:20,513
- Dad still on vacation?
- Yes.
78
00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:24,395
And not a postcard,
not a letter, nothing.
79
00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:33,591
Okay.
80
00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:40,672
Dad, this was really cute
when I was about 4.
81
00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:43,230
But after 18 years
of your world cruises...
82
00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:46,796
...I can't help but feel maybe it's time
to stand on a freeway off-ramp...
83
00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:51,915
...with a sign that says, " Mindless.
Will embarrass my family for food."
84
00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:57,268
Bud, come here a second.
Let me explain something to you.
85
00:06:57,480 --> 00:07:00,517
You see, you know that
I'm just sitting here on the couch...
86
00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:02,950
...and I know I'm just sitting here
on the couch.
87
00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:07,472
But you see, son, the rest of the weeks
out of the year, I'm selling shoes.
88
00:07:08,280 --> 00:07:10,350
Ladies' shoes.
89
00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:12,597
Fat ladies.
90
00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:17,078
Very, very fat ladies.
91
00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:20,116
And you know
what fat does best, son?
92
00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:21,799
Fat sweats.
93
00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:26,471
So after selling fat sweat all year,
one needs a little vacation.
94
00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:29,558
So you see, son, if I didn't
think I was enjoying myself here...
95
00:07:29,760 --> 00:07:33,548
...I might one day just run amuck and
destroy everyone and everything I see.
96
00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:35,751
Do I make myself clear?
97
00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:38,315
We'll discuss it
when you get back, Dad.
98
00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:46,952
Hi, Mom. Hi, Bud. Is Daddy
back from vacation yet?
99
00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:50,436
Look around, honey.
Does it look like he's here?
100
00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:54,637
Honey, are you okay?
101
00:07:54,840 --> 00:07:56,717
We heard the modelling school closed.
102
00:07:56,920 --> 00:07:58,638
Several of the mothers have called.
103
00:07:58,840 --> 00:08:02,276
Their daughters are eating Cocoa Puffs
and salt-pork products...
104
00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:05,950
...their weight, much like
their dreams, behind them.
105
00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:08,188
How are you bearing up?
106
00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:11,313
Well, I too was feeling Ionely and lost.
107
00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:14,273
And I too almost buried
my troubles in pork rinds.
108
00:08:14,480 --> 00:08:19,395
But thanks to the advice of two
wise statues, I decided to get a job.
109
00:08:19,680 --> 00:08:21,318
A job?
110
00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:26,634
Oh, my God, the shame.
111
00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:29,348
What will I tell the girls
at the beauty parlour?
112
00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:33,997
Well, tell them if their husbands ever
have time to kill down by the airport...
113
00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:37,715
...they might wanna pop in and see
your little girl at the Nude-A-Teria.
114
00:08:42,920 --> 00:08:45,275
Bud, why don't you go on
and stand over by Dad...
115
00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:49,951
...so when he lands, you can be there
to yell, "Da plane, boss, da plane."
116
00:08:55,240 --> 00:08:59,279
Anyway, you'll be proud to know
that I am now a paid employee...
117
00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:01,277
...of TV World Theme Park.
118
00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:04,990
Kel, I love TV World.
119
00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:07,515
Babes from everywhere
flock to Talk Show Land...
120
00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:09,790
...to see the binge-and-purge
Oprah statue...
121
00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:12,116
...that grows and shrinks
on the half-hour.
122
00:09:12,560 --> 00:09:14,198
You have to get me in for free.
123
00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:17,996
Yeah, sure. I really wanna be
at my new job and hear screams of:
124
00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:21,351
"There's a goose monster
loose in the park."
125
00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:23,710
Is it my fault that every time
I'm at the zoo...
126
00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:26,798
...10 girls happen
to back into my hand?
127
00:09:28,560 --> 00:09:30,949
Anyway, Mom, I have
a really good feeling about this.
128
00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:34,118
I mean, this could be more than a job.
It could be a career.
129
00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:37,153
Finally, a chance to show
what I can do.
130
00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:39,630
Thank you, come again.
Thank you, come again.
131
00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:43,196
Thank you, come again. Thanks again.
Come you...
132
00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:47,470
No. Thank... No. Come...
133
00:09:47,680 --> 00:09:50,956
Oh, who cares? I hate this job.
134
00:09:51,160 --> 00:09:53,390
This isn't even a real job.
What am l...?
135
00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:55,431
"Thank you, come again.
Thank you..."
136
00:09:57,760 --> 00:10:00,274
Thank you, come again.
137
00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:09,114
Where's Dad now?
138
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:15,154
Well, according to his itinerary,
he's in Casablanca.
139
00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:19,154
Here's looking at you, kid.
140
00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:27,390
I know this must be trying
on you, Mom.
141
00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:30,956
When Dad gets back, I suggest
you take the couch and go on a cruise.
142
00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:36,598
That's okay, Bud. I choose to do
my fantasizing in other places.
143
00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:41,990
But, you know, the one we should
be worried about right now is Kelly.
144
00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:45,510
You know, ever since she's had
this job, she reminds me of someone.
145
00:10:45,720 --> 00:10:48,757
I just can't put my finger on who.
146
00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:55,114
Why doesn't the world explode
into a fiery, pus-filled death.
147
00:10:57,440 --> 00:10:59,635
A fat woman comes to the gate today...
148
00:10:59,840 --> 00:11:04,231
...her muumuu covering what
must've been three or four heinies.
149
00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:09,591
Now, she could exit through a little,
itsy-bitsy turnstile or a huge gate.
150
00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:12,394
Guess which one she chooses.
151
00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:16,870
A line was forming.
So I had to do something.
152
00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:21,358
So I got a tub of butter from the
"Delta Burke Let's Get Big" exhibit...
153
00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:25,589
...and oiled her up.
154
00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:29,197
Then I went over to Star Trek Land,
hot-wired the Enterprise...
155
00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:33,473
...and sent it up where no man
has gone before.
156
00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:42,918
She goes flying like a vegetable
out of Dad's mouth...
157
00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:47,989
...right into The Facts of Life
Fan Club Pavilion.
158
00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:50,589
Thank God it's always empty.
159
00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:53,473
Can somebody give me
a reason to live?
160
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:56,758
Not a convincing one, no.
161
00:11:57,360 --> 00:11:59,555
Listen, Kel. I know
what'll make you feel better.
162
00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:01,751
You can get me into the park for free.
163
00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:04,474
I do nothing for you, niblet.
164
00:12:05,440 --> 00:12:07,078
I do nothing for anyone.
165
00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:11,273
All I wanna do is just sit and relax.
166
00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:25,550
Who is it she reminds me of?
167
00:12:25,920 --> 00:12:27,751
Thank you, come again.
168
00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:30,235
Thanks. Bye.
169
00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:35,515
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye. Come again.
170
00:12:37,680 --> 00:12:40,274
Kel. Kel. Get me in.
171
00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:43,513
I'm sorry, but the Shemp job
in Three Stooges Land...
172
00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:45,233
...has already been taken.
173
00:12:46,080 --> 00:12:47,832
Vengeance shall be mine.
174
00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:50,395
Then vengeance can't be a woman.
175
00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:53,752
Now go away. Here comes my boss.
176
00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:58,155
- How's it going, Miss Bundy?
- Fine, Mr. Nielsen.
177
00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:03,319
Excuse me, sir. I just exited the park.
This young lady didn't say goodbye.
178
00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:08,396
The heck you say.
I'm sorry, young viewer.
179
00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:13,390
Just for that, we're gonna give you
a rerun. That's a free ticket back in.
180
00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:17,673
And it'll be a deduction
from Miss Bundy's paycheque.
181
00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:21,756
Well, that almost makes up
for her rudeness.
182
00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:25,274
But I don't think she quite
looks sorry enough for me.
183
00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:27,835
But I do think that me
and the rest of the public...
184
00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:30,031
...would like to see her head shaved.
185
00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:35,748
Well, the modelling school may
be closed, but its spirit must live on.
186
00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:40,238
I will follow its motto:
Smile as if your brain had wisdom.
187
00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:43,477
Smile and go on NutriSystem.
188
00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:47,197
Smile, something, something, smile.
189
00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:50,312
I will not let that wisdom
go to waste.
190
00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:55,078
Hi, Kelly. What are you smiling at?
191
00:13:55,280 --> 00:13:56,838
Nothing. Life sucks.
192
00:13:58,240 --> 00:14:01,835
Well, I just love it here.
I try to come as often as I can.
193
00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:05,635
I just can't get enough
of that Cagney & Lacey exhibit.
194
00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:09,591
That show always made me
wanna cut my hair short...
195
00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:12,758
...and shoot at men with my big gun.
196
00:14:13,840 --> 00:14:16,308
But then again, so did Bewitched...
197
00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:19,114
...and Gilligan's Island
and Green Acres and That Girl.
198
00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:22,630
Excuse me, Mrs. D'Arcy, but if you
don't mind, I'm kind of working here.
199
00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:24,910
It takes all my concentration, okay?
200
00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:28,236
Goodbye. Goodbye.
201
00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:30,358
Pretty cool, eh?
202
00:14:30,840 --> 00:14:34,594
Nothing to be ashamed of. At least
you went out and got yourself a job.
203
00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:37,519
Some people don't even do that.
204
00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:39,199
Here comes one now.
205
00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:42,198
What was it like working
on Happy Days?
206
00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:45,958
I'm telling you, kid,
I was not on Happy Days, okay?
207
00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:48,799
My name is D'Arcy. Jefferson D'Arcy.
208
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:51,753
- Was that your name on Love Boat?
- Oh, beat it!
209
00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:54,633
Come on. Get out of here.
210
00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:02,994
Damn kids. I can hardly
go out in public anymore.
211
00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:05,191
Well, here she is.
212
00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:08,756
Gee, Kelly, it must be nice
to feel like a responsible adult...
213
00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:11,713
...to finally have a job.
Hey, Marcie, can I have some money?
214
00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:14,593
They have a really nice
TV World T-shirt.
215
00:15:15,280 --> 00:15:18,078
I thought you said the hat
and nothing else.
216
00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:21,238
Well, you got two things.
217
00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:23,869
- Well, I'm paying.
- Well, if that's your attitude...
218
00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:26,913
...I wanna go home right now.
- Why should you go and ruin...?
219
00:15:27,120 --> 00:15:30,317
Wait a minute, Marcie.
If you guys are gonna whine like that...
220
00:15:30,520 --> 00:15:34,308
...why don't you take it on over
to Thirtysomething Land, okay?
221
00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:37,628
Welcome. How are you
enjoying the park?
222
00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:41,199
This young lady just snapped at us.
223
00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:45,234
Well, here's two free passes.
It comes out of her salary.
224
00:15:45,440 --> 00:15:49,592
- Could I have a T-shirt too?
- Sure. Miss Bundy's paying.
225
00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:53,909
Let's come back later
and pick another fight with her.
226
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:57,669
- I could really use some shorts.
- Well, why can't I have the shorts?
227
00:15:57,880 --> 00:15:59,677
I mean, I have the legs in the family.
228
00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:06,193
Can they walk home from here?
229
00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:10,876
Honey, look, let's not argue
here in Chicago's happiest park.
230
00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:13,956
You're right. Of course.
231
00:16:14,160 --> 00:16:18,950
I know. Let's go to Steven Bochco's
Hall of Failures.
232
00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:22,557
Listen, I hear they're just finishing
the Capitol Critters exhibit.
233
00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:26,469
- Oh, I wanna see Cop Rock.
- I wanna see Hooperman.
234
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:32,711
Two viewer complaints.
"Tsk, tsk," as we say here in TV Land.
235
00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:36,071
Save your "tsk"
for some other idiot, Nielsen.
236
00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:41,149
I'm qualified for much more
than just standing by an... Ex...
237
00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:43,476
Excite sign.
238
00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:47,150
I can say much more than just
"goodbye." I can say "hello."
239
00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:50,909
I can say "pretty bird." Why, I can say
about four or five different things...
240
00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:54,999
...if given the proper chance.
I want a better job.
241
00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:58,795
So I say to you
what many have said to me before:
242
00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:03,551
Put out or get out.
What do you have to say about that?
243
00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:08,436
Normally, two viewer complaints
would call for your cancellation...
244
00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:13,077
...but come to think of it, we do have
an opening for a vacuous blond.
245
00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:14,993
I'm your man.
246
00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:21,076
Can you feel the excitement, boys
and girls? Here we are at the last stop.
247
00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:24,078
Yes, Commercial Land.
248
00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:27,350
See the disgusting, filthy roaches...
249
00:17:27,560 --> 00:17:30,836
...about to devour that pie
Mom made with love?
250
00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:37,918
I said, see the disgusting, filthy,
yet easily replaced roaches?
251
00:17:38,240 --> 00:17:40,708
Roaches. Roaches.
252
00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:48,710
But hark, who do I hear?
253
00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:53,391
A reasonable facsimile of one of the
stars of your favourite TV commercial.
254
00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:56,398
Yes, kids, the Verminator!
255
00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:07,757
Breathe hot toxic, but safe
for the ozone. Vermin death.
256
00:18:13,280 --> 00:18:16,556
Hasta la vista, buggies.
257
00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:22,037
Hey, would one of you kids
like to ask the Verminator a question?
258
00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:24,832
I would.
259
00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:28,310
Excuse me, Verminator.
260
00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:31,796
Could you tell the kids which backseat
you'll be appearing in tonight...
261
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:34,798
...should they wanna further
their education?
262
00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:40,829
Bud, please don't do this to me.
My wrath will be terrible.
263
00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:44,032
Does anyone else have a question
for the Verminator?
264
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:49,633
I see you wear a cape
but no underwear.
265
00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:02,191
Is that so you can more easily change
into your secret identity...
266
00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:05,915
...of a mild-mannered sex toy
for the Navy?
267
00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:14,078
Who would like to be
deputy Verminators?
268
00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:15,759
Me! Me!
269
00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:20,438
Well, I see one last roach
that I just can't quite reach.
270
00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:25,111
He's disguised as a dateless,
bitter little troll.
271
00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:28,634
- That's him.
- Yes, that's right.
272
00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:30,478
Send him to Valhalla!
273
00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:37,516
That's right, kids.
Destroy his evil tentacles.
274
00:19:40,040 --> 00:19:43,271
Tentacles, kids, I said tentacles.
275
00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:50,400
- So how was work, honey?
- Oh, it was great.
276
00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:52,636
You have no idea
of the power of television.
277
00:19:52,840 --> 00:19:54,910
I could get those kids
to do anything.
278
00:19:55,120 --> 00:19:57,429
First, I had them beat up Bud.
279
00:19:57,640 --> 00:20:00,029
Then I had them bring me a burger.
280
00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:02,470
Then I had them beat up Bud again.
281
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:07,755
The best part is that TV World asked
Bud to come back as King Roach.
282
00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:22,351
Well, here's Bud. My little man.
283
00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:25,438
He looks just cute as a bug.
284
00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:30,709
Isn't it grand? I get to command
his death every day.
285
00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:32,797
Oh, and twice on Saturday.
286
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:37,835
I have finally found my calling,
to have my brother beaten.
287
00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:40,838
It's just for the summer.
288
00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:43,952
That's what your father said
20 years ago.
289
00:20:45,640 --> 00:20:47,710
Hey, Bud, you know,
if you had one more arm...
290
00:20:47,920 --> 00:20:50,673
...you would have a date
for every night of the week.
291
00:20:57,360 --> 00:20:59,271
That's it. Come on,
put them up. Let's go!
292
00:21:01,120 --> 00:21:04,078
- Come and get it, roach boy.
- Oh, now, kids, please.
293
00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:07,033
Don't you think your father
gives me a big enough headache?
294
00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:11,719
What are you saying, Mom?
That I should just accept this?
295
00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:14,229
That I should just let it ride?
296
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:19,116
I am a college man
and I demand the respect I deserve.
297
00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:31,471
Well, look, we cannot discuss this now.
We've gotta go pick up your father.
298
00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:47,953
Family, I'm home.
299
00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:49,354
- Daddy.
- Hi, Al.
300
00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:52,074
- We missed you.
- Hi.
301
00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:56,278
You know, it was great. But I haven't
showered in about a week...
302
00:21:56,480 --> 00:21:58,516
...so I think I ought to
get right to bed.
303
00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:01,833
But before I do,
I wanna tell you something.
304
00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:04,315
Let's sit down. Come here a second.
305
00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:06,829
I miss my couch.
306
00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:10,277
That's it. Come on over here.
307
00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:14,593
Now, guys, I had it all.
308
00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:19,191
Romance, intrigue, adventure,
but I learned one thing.
309
00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:21,755
And it's the same the world over.
310
00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:26,909
There's nothing like being home
with a nice normal family.
311
00:22:27,305 --> 00:22:33,768
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