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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,435 --> 00:00:04,370 (theme music playing) 2 00:00:11,812 --> 00:00:13,490 ♪ COME AND KNOCK ON OUR DOOR ♪ 3 00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:15,592 ♪ COME AND KNOCK ON OUR DOOR ♪ 4 00:00:15,616 --> 00:00:17,594 ♪ WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU ♪ 5 00:00:17,618 --> 00:00:19,262 ♪ WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU ♪ 6 00:00:19,286 --> 00:00:21,898 ♪ WHERE THE KISSES ARE HERS AND HERS AND HIS ♪ 7 00:00:21,922 --> 00:00:24,167 ♪ THREE'S COMPANY TOO ♪ 8 00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:26,169 ♪ COME AND DANCE ON OUR FLOOR ♪ 9 00:00:26,193 --> 00:00:28,171 ♪ COME AND DANCE ON OUR FLOOR ♪ 10 00:00:28,195 --> 00:00:31,008 - ♪ TAKE A STEP THAT IS NEW ♪ - ♪ TAKE A STEP THAT IS NEW ♪ 11 00:00:31,032 --> 00:00:34,111 ♪ WE'VE A LOVABLE SPACE THAT NEEDS YOUR FACE ♪ 12 00:00:34,135 --> 00:00:37,014 ♪ THREE'S COMPANY TOO ♪ 13 00:00:37,038 --> 00:00:39,883 ♪ YOU'LL SEE THAT LIFE IS A BALL AGAIN ♪ 14 00:00:39,907 --> 00:00:43,320 ♪ LAUGHTER IS CALLING FOR YOU ♪ 15 00:00:43,344 --> 00:00:46,423 - ♪ DOWN AT OUR RENDEZVOUS ♪ - ♪ DOWN AT OUR RENDEZVOUS ♪ 16 00:00:46,447 --> 00:00:49,113 ♪ THREE'S COMPANY TOO ♪ 17 00:01:08,369 --> 00:01:11,414 ♪ DOWN AT OUR RENDEZVOUS ♪ 18 00:01:11,438 --> 00:01:13,171 ♪ THREE'S COMPANY TOO. ♪ 19 00:01:15,275 --> 00:01:18,822 - I DON'T KNOW, MY DEAR. - I WANT TO PROPOSE A TOAST NOW: 20 00:01:18,846 --> 00:01:21,991 TO AUNT MARTHA'S HAPPINESS, TO YOUR WEDDING. 21 00:01:22,015 --> 00:01:26,596 - HERE'S TO YOU, MOTHER. - OH THANK YOU, YOU'RE ALL SO SWEET. 22 00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:29,532 NOW, STANLEY, WHY DON'T YOU SAY A FEW NICE WORDS? 23 00:01:29,556 --> 00:01:31,801 OKAY... UM... 24 00:01:31,825 --> 00:01:35,304 HERE'S TO THE WINE AND HERE'S TO THE GLASS. 25 00:01:35,328 --> 00:01:38,162 - AND HERE'S TO THE LADY WITH THE... - STANLEY! 26 00:01:41,968 --> 00:01:44,035 - WITH A LOT OF CLASS. - Aunt Martha: OH! 27 00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:47,617 COULDN'T YOU HAVE JUST WISHED HER LUCK? 28 00:01:47,641 --> 00:01:49,419 YOU'RE SO RIGHT, HELEN. 29 00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:51,220 I'VE ALREADY BURIED FOUR HUSBANDS, 30 00:01:51,244 --> 00:01:53,122 SO WHO COULD USE MORE LUCK THAN I? 31 00:01:53,146 --> 00:01:55,313 YOUR NEXT HUSBAND. 32 00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:58,127 WELL THEN, LET'S DRINK TO HIM! 33 00:01:58,151 --> 00:01:59,996 All: CHEERS! HERE, HERE! 34 00:02:00,020 --> 00:02:03,099 OH! I ALMOST FORGOT. I WAS SUPPOSED TO CHECK ABOUT MY FITTING. 35 00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:05,067 OH I'LL CALL THE DRESSMAKER FOR YOU, MOM. 36 00:02:05,091 --> 00:02:06,403 OOH DOES ANYBODY HAVE A DIME? 37 00:02:06,427 --> 00:02:08,337 - OH WAIT A MINUTE. - LET'S SEE. 38 00:02:08,361 --> 00:02:10,929 I SAW ONE HERE A MINUTE AGO. I DON'T KNOW WHERE IT WENT. 39 00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:15,412 STANLEY! 40 00:02:15,436 --> 00:02:16,746 - OH I'M SOR... - Women: OH! 41 00:02:16,770 --> 00:02:19,103 THANK YOU. 42 00:02:21,074 --> 00:02:22,307 (sighs) 43 00:02:24,277 --> 00:02:26,477 I WAS SAVING IT FOR A TIP. 44 00:02:27,514 --> 00:02:31,127 LOOK, AUNT MARTHA, TO GET BACK TO YOUR WEDDING DRESS. 45 00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:33,797 NOW I THINK THIS: I THINK THAT 46 00:02:33,821 --> 00:02:37,066 TO HECK WITH CONVENTION, IF YOU WANT TO WEAR WHITE FOR YOUR WEDDING, 47 00:02:37,090 --> 00:02:38,902 - YOU SHOULD WEAR WHITE. - OH NO. 48 00:02:38,926 --> 00:02:42,806 WHITE IS FOR A NEW BRIDE. YOU KNOW, PURE, UNTOUCHED. 49 00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:45,007 I DON'T THINK IT WOULD BE RIGHT FOR ME. 50 00:02:45,031 --> 00:02:47,198 IT'D BE PERFECT FOR ME. 51 00:02:49,035 --> 00:02:52,081 - Man: HEY, HOW ARE YOU DOING, MAN? - OH HEY! THERE'S JACK. 52 00:02:52,105 --> 00:02:53,983 JACK, COULD YOU COME OVER HERE A MINUTE? 53 00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:56,118 - I WANT YOU TO MEET SOMEONE. - SURE. HI. 54 00:02:56,142 --> 00:02:58,955 JACK, THIS IS MY AUNT MARTHA FROM SEATTLE. 55 00:02:58,979 --> 00:03:01,357 THIS IS JACK TRIPPER. HE LIVES IN OUR BUILDING. 56 00:03:01,381 --> 00:03:03,092 - OH! - NICE TO MEET YOU. 57 00:03:03,116 --> 00:03:04,794 MR. ROPER, YOU MUST FEEL GOOD 58 00:03:04,818 --> 00:03:06,830 ENTERTAINING TWO BEAUTIFUL WOMEN. 59 00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:08,331 (Both giggle) 60 00:03:08,355 --> 00:03:10,956 - WHY DON'T YOU JOIN US? - AND MAKE IT THREE? 61 00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:16,194 Mrs. Roper: WHY DON'T YOU GO GET US SOME MORE WINE? 62 00:03:23,470 --> 00:03:26,483 JACK, YOU MUST BE LONELY WITH THE GIRLS AWAY FOR THE WEEKEND. 63 00:03:26,507 --> 00:03:28,217 WHY DON'T YOU SIT DOWN? 64 00:03:28,241 --> 00:03:30,987 THANK YOU, BUT I HAVE SOME FRIENDS OVER THERE I HAVEN'T SEEN IN A LONG TIME. 65 00:03:31,011 --> 00:03:32,154 NICE MEETING YOU. BYE-BYE. 66 00:03:32,178 --> 00:03:33,756 Both: OH! 67 00:03:33,780 --> 00:03:37,460 - I'M SORRY. - OH THIS IS MY COUSIN BARBARA, JACK. 68 00:03:37,484 --> 00:03:39,762 THIS IS JACK TRIPPER. 69 00:03:39,786 --> 00:03:41,831 - REMEMBER I TOLD YOU ABOUT HIM? - OH YES! 70 00:03:41,855 --> 00:03:44,634 - YOU'RE THE ONE WHO LIVES WITH THE TWO GIRLS. - THAT'S ME. 71 00:03:44,658 --> 00:03:47,537 I THINK THEY'RE VERY LUCKY TO HAVE A MAN AROUND TO DO THE COOKING. 72 00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:50,139 YEAH, I'M ALSO THERE FOR PROTECTION. 73 00:03:50,163 --> 00:03:52,430 OH REALLY, WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF? 74 00:03:54,034 --> 00:03:56,012 - (Both laugh) - WOULD YOU LIKE TO JOIN US? 75 00:03:56,036 --> 00:03:57,636 - OH, I'D BE HAPPY TO. - GOOD. 76 00:03:58,772 --> 00:04:00,383 - WHAT ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS? - FRIENDS? 77 00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:02,218 OH WE'RE NOT THAT FRIENDLY. 78 00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:06,022 OH MOTHER, THE DRESSMAKER NEEDS TO SEE YOU RIGHT AWAY FOR ANOTHER FITTING. 79 00:04:06,046 --> 00:04:08,725 OH JUST WHEN WE WERE HAVING SO MUCH FUN. 80 00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:10,459 I'LL DRIVE YOU THERE, AUNT MARTHA. 81 00:04:10,483 --> 00:04:12,529 ALL RIGHT, DEAR. THANK YOU. 82 00:04:12,553 --> 00:04:14,263 WHERE'S EVERYBODY GOING? 83 00:04:14,287 --> 00:04:17,233 - WE HAVE TO DRIVE AUNT MARTHA TO THE DRESSMAKER'S. - YES. 84 00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:19,536 WHAT ABOUT THE WINE? IT'S VERY EXPENSIVE, YOU KNOW. 85 00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:23,973 NOW BE A BIG SPENDER FOR ONCE, STANLEY. LEAVE IT FOR THEM. 86 00:04:23,997 --> 00:04:26,843 OH JACK, I'M TAKING EVERYONE TO DINNER TONIGHT. 87 00:04:26,867 --> 00:04:29,078 SINCE YOU'RE ALONE, PERHAPS YOU'D LIKE TO JOIN US. 88 00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:31,748 - OH I COULDN'T. - OF COURSE YOU COULD. 89 00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:33,271 OF COURSE I COULD. 90 00:04:34,340 --> 00:04:36,118 GOOD. SEE YA LATER. 91 00:04:36,142 --> 00:04:37,620 - BYE, MOTHER. - BYE-BYE. 92 00:04:37,644 --> 00:04:40,745 OH THANK YOU VERY MUCH, MR. ROPER. 93 00:04:43,249 --> 00:04:46,451 JOE... GIVE THE CHECK TO HIM. 94 00:04:49,556 --> 00:04:50,596 WELL... 95 00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:56,272 - VERY WELL, THANK YOU. - (Both chuckle) 96 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,608 - WHAT DO YOU DO, JACK? - HMM? MM... 97 00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:00,677 I'M STUDYING TO BE A CHEF. 98 00:05:00,701 --> 00:05:02,478 OH WHAT A COINCIDENCE. 99 00:05:02,502 --> 00:05:04,714 - DO YOU LIKE TO COOK? - NO, I LIKE TO EAT. 100 00:05:04,738 --> 00:05:07,383 - OH... - WOULD YOU COOK FOR ME SOMETIME? 101 00:05:07,407 --> 00:05:09,741 UH, I'D LOVE TO COOK WITH YOU... FOR YOU. 102 00:05:11,277 --> 00:05:14,023 WHAT ABOUT YOU, BARBARA? TELL ME WHAT YOU... NO, DON'T TELL ME. 103 00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:15,424 LET ME GUESS. 104 00:05:15,448 --> 00:05:18,127 YOU ARE A FORMER MISS AMERICA? 105 00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:21,263 - NO. - THE PRESENT MISS AMERICA? 106 00:05:21,287 --> 00:05:23,132 - NO... - NO, I GOT IT. YOU'RE A MODEL. 107 00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:24,366 - CLOSE! - WHAT? 108 00:05:24,390 --> 00:05:25,670 I'M AN ARCHAEOLOGIST. 109 00:05:28,194 --> 00:05:30,406 - NO... - YES, WHY NOT? 110 00:05:30,430 --> 00:05:32,809 NO, ARCHAEOLOGISTS ARE OLD MEN WITH BEARDS. 111 00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:34,911 OH COME ON. WHERE DID YOU GET THAT IDEA? 112 00:05:34,935 --> 00:05:38,147 "THE MUMMY'S TOMB." I SAW THAT SEVEN TIMES. 113 00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:40,583 ALSO "THE RETURN OF THE MUMMY," "THE MUMMY'S CURSE," 114 00:05:40,607 --> 00:05:42,451 AND... WHO COULD FORGET... "MUMMY AND PA KETTLE." 115 00:05:42,475 --> 00:05:43,686 I SAW THOSE FROM THE BEGINNING. 116 00:05:43,710 --> 00:05:45,554 OKAY, OKAY, YOU GOT ME. 117 00:05:45,578 --> 00:05:47,790 - I'LL START GROWING A BEARD TOMORROW. - OH NO. 118 00:05:47,814 --> 00:05:49,759 - YOU'RE AN ARCHAEOLOGIST? - YEAH. 119 00:05:49,783 --> 00:05:52,343 - ARE YOU DIGGING ANYTHING NOW? - YES, YOU. 120 00:05:53,887 --> 00:05:56,788 OH GOD, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 121 00:05:58,025 --> 00:05:59,624 WELL, KEEP DIGGING. 122 00:06:02,428 --> 00:06:05,828 ACTUALLY, I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF A BOOK ABOUT HOWARD CARTER... 123 00:06:06,633 --> 00:06:08,945 THE MAN WHO DISCOVERED KING TUT'S TOMB. 124 00:06:08,969 --> 00:06:12,214 OH THAT HOWARD COR... OH YEAH, SURE, HOWIE. I KNOW HIM. 125 00:06:12,238 --> 00:06:14,416 IT MUST BE A VERY INTERESTING BOOK. 126 00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:17,920 WELL, I DON'T KNOW. I HAVEN'T FINISHED WRITING IT YET. 127 00:06:17,944 --> 00:06:19,789 WRITE? NO KIDDING, YOU'RE WRITING A BOOK?! 128 00:06:19,813 --> 00:06:21,824 NO KIDDING, I'M WRITING A BOOK. 129 00:06:21,848 --> 00:06:25,628 - HOW LONG WILL YOU BE IN TOWN? - FOR A FEW DAYS. 130 00:06:25,652 --> 00:06:28,464 WHAT A COINCIDENCE, SO WILL I. 131 00:06:28,488 --> 00:06:32,301 WOULD YOU MIND GIVING ME A CRASH COURSE IN ARCHAEOLOGY? 132 00:06:32,325 --> 00:06:36,072 - WELL, I SUPPOSE WE COULD GO TO A COUPLE OF MUSEUMS. - YEAH. 133 00:06:36,096 --> 00:06:39,175 - TOO BAD THE TUT EXHIBIT ISN'T STILL IN TOWN. - DON'T WORRY. 134 00:06:39,199 --> 00:06:42,645 I SAW THAT. YEAH, I WENT IN, CHANGED THE BANDAGES, AND LEFT. 135 00:06:42,669 --> 00:06:45,109 BOY THAT LITTLE KID MUST HAVE BEEN IN SOME ACCIDENT. HE WAS... 136 00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:49,118 - MAYBE THE MUSEUM ISN'T SUCH A GOOD IDEA. - I KNOW. 137 00:06:49,142 --> 00:06:51,582 TELL ME, WHAT WOULD YOU REALLY LIKE TO DO? 138 00:06:53,980 --> 00:06:55,424 (chuckling) 139 00:06:55,448 --> 00:06:58,460 WELL... THE WEATHER'S TURNED. DO YOU LIKE SURFING AT ALL? 140 00:06:58,484 --> 00:06:59,696 - I LOVE SURFING! - DO YOU? 141 00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:00,863 - YES! - OH GREAT! 142 00:07:00,887 --> 00:07:02,765 LET'S GO DOWN TO THE BEACH AND MAKE SOME WAVES. 143 00:07:02,789 --> 00:07:05,690 ALL RIGHT, YES. 144 00:07:08,995 --> 00:07:10,039 - OH BOY. - (sighs) 145 00:07:10,063 --> 00:07:12,542 WELL, HERE WE ARE, HOME AGAIN. 146 00:07:12,566 --> 00:07:14,677 I WAS HOPING YOU WEREN'T GONNA SAY THAT. 147 00:07:14,701 --> 00:07:17,647 - WHY? - BECAUSE, CHRISSY, 148 00:07:17,671 --> 00:07:19,382 THAT'S WHAT EVERYBODY ALWAYS SAYS. 149 00:07:19,406 --> 00:07:21,150 DO YOU KNOW WHEN WE USED TO TAKE VACATIONS? 150 00:07:21,174 --> 00:07:22,986 WE'D COME HOME, WALK THROUGH THE DOOR. 151 00:07:23,010 --> 00:07:25,488 MY MOTHER WOULD ALWAYS SAY, "HERE WE ARE, HOME AGAIN." 152 00:07:25,512 --> 00:07:28,379 I DIDN'T KNOW YOUR MOTHER USED TO LIVE HERE. 153 00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:32,962 CHRISSY, COME ON. I'M TALKING ABOUT WHEN I WAS A KID. 154 00:07:32,986 --> 00:07:36,621 - YOUR MOTHER LIVED HERE WHEN YOU WERE... - CHRISSY! 155 00:07:38,024 --> 00:07:39,702 OH LARRY, I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE. 156 00:07:39,726 --> 00:07:41,871 - THANKS FOR BRINGING UP THE BAGS. - YOU'RE WELCOME. 157 00:07:41,895 --> 00:07:43,406 - CHRISSY, LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING. - HMM? 158 00:07:43,430 --> 00:07:45,575 HOW COME YOUR BAG IS TWICE AS HEAVY AS JANET'S? 159 00:07:45,599 --> 00:07:47,832 'CAUSE MY BAG IS SMALLER THAN HERS. 160 00:07:50,704 --> 00:07:52,815 SHOULD I ASK? WHY NOT? 161 00:07:52,839 --> 00:07:56,886 - WHAT?! - BECAUSE MY BAG IS SMALLER. 162 00:07:56,910 --> 00:07:59,889 I COULD BARELY FIT ALL MY CLOTHES INTO IT AND THEY ALL GET WRINKLED. 163 00:07:59,913 --> 00:08:03,226 IT DOESN'T MATTER WHETHER YOUR CLOTHES GET WRINKLED OR NOT, 164 00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:05,194 THAT WOULDN'T MAKE YOUR BAG ANY HEAVIER. 165 00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:09,398 OF COURSE, IT MATTERS BECAUSE IF MY CLOTHES DIDN'T GET WRINKLED, 166 00:08:09,422 --> 00:08:12,101 - I WOULDN'T HAVE TO CARRY THIS IRON. - OH. 167 00:08:12,125 --> 00:08:14,025 - I SEE. - Janet: YOU ASKED. 168 00:08:16,964 --> 00:08:19,476 CHRISSY, YOU CAME HOME JUST IN TIME. 169 00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:22,078 YOU WANNA GO WITH ME TO THE HOLLYWOOD BOWL? 170 00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:24,581 OH I'M SORRY, LARRY. I MAKE IT A RULE 171 00:08:24,605 --> 00:08:27,149 NEVER TO DATE ANYONE WHO LIVES IN THE SAME BUILDING. 172 00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:29,786 HEY, COME ON. RULES ARE MADE TO BE BROKEN. 173 00:08:29,810 --> 00:08:32,789 - AND SO ARE ARMS. - (grunts) 174 00:08:32,813 --> 00:08:35,257 HEY, IF IT ISN'T MY LONG-LOST ROOMMATES! 175 00:08:35,281 --> 00:08:36,961 - GOOD TO SEE YOU, CHRISSY! - HI, JACK! 176 00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:40,529 AND JANET, OH YOU NEED A SHAVE. 177 00:08:40,553 --> 00:08:44,366 - SHE'S CHANGED! - GEE, YOU'RE IN A GOOD MOOD. 178 00:08:44,390 --> 00:08:46,535 - OH I AM, I REALLY... - JACK! 179 00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:48,805 - THERE SHE IS, LITTLE JANET! - HI, HI, HI! 180 00:08:48,829 --> 00:08:50,006 - HOW ARE YOU? - I'M OKAY. 181 00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:51,273 - I FEEL TERRIFIC. - GOOD! 182 00:08:51,297 --> 00:08:53,009 THINGS COULD BE BETTER. LISTEN... 183 00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:56,979 - I MET THIS FANTASTIC WOMAN! - Larry: OH. 184 00:08:57,003 --> 00:08:59,682 - SHE'S REALLY DIFFERENT. - OH BOY. 185 00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:03,019 THAT'S THE SAME THING YOU SAY EVERY TIME YOU MEET A NEW GIRL. 186 00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:04,353 AH, BUT THIS TIME IT'S TRUE. 187 00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:06,155 AND TO BEGIN WITH, SHE'S NOT A GIRL. 188 00:09:06,179 --> 00:09:08,312 SHE'S A WOMAN. 189 00:09:09,950 --> 00:09:12,161 - A WOMAN? - SHE'S ALL WOMAN. 190 00:09:12,185 --> 00:09:14,763 OH CHRISSY, SHE'S BEAUTIFUL. 191 00:09:14,787 --> 00:09:18,301 SHE'S WITTY. SHE'S INTELLIGENT, AND SHE'S AN ARCHAEOLOGIST. 192 00:09:18,325 --> 00:09:20,369 - AN ARCHAEOLOGIST, YEAH? - YEAH. 193 00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:22,693 WHERE'D YOU DIG HER UP? (snorting loudly) 194 00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:28,211 WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO, JUMP ON HER BONES? (laughing) 195 00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:29,801 (all laugh) 196 00:09:31,504 --> 00:09:34,083 NO, SHE SPENT 10 YEARS IN EGYPT, 197 00:09:34,107 --> 00:09:35,785 AND SHE'S WRITING A BOOK ON IT. 198 00:09:35,809 --> 00:09:37,787 SHE'S AN AUTHORITY ON ANCIENT PEOPLES. 199 00:09:37,811 --> 00:09:40,572 OH THAT'S NICE. SHE WORKS WITH SENIOR CITIZENS. 200 00:09:42,115 --> 00:09:43,626 WAIT, HOLD ON A SECOND, JACK. 201 00:09:43,650 --> 00:09:46,529 JUST HOW OLD IS THIS WOMAN? 202 00:09:46,553 --> 00:09:48,932 - I DON'T KNOW. - 30? 203 00:09:48,956 --> 00:09:50,266 - COME ON, LARRY. - 35? 204 00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:51,500 - 40? - WOULD YOU GET OFF... 205 00:09:51,524 --> 00:09:52,602 WHAT, AM I GETTING WARM? 206 00:09:52,626 --> 00:09:54,303 SO SHE'S OLDER THAN I AM. 207 00:09:54,327 --> 00:09:55,805 - SO WHAT? - YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. 208 00:09:55,829 --> 00:09:57,706 - WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES AGE MAKE? - YEAH, LARRY, 209 00:09:57,730 --> 00:10:00,777 IF JACK LIKES HER AND SHE LIKES HIM, THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS. 210 00:10:00,801 --> 00:10:03,279 I GUESS IF YOU CAN'T CUT IT WITH OUR GENERATION, 211 00:10:03,303 --> 00:10:06,182 MAYBE AN OLDER WOMAN DOES MAKE SENSE. TAKE IT EASY. 212 00:10:06,206 --> 00:10:08,084 ♪ JUST A GIGOLO. ♪ 213 00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:09,718 OH, LARRY! 214 00:10:09,742 --> 00:10:11,353 JUST HOLD IT RIGHT THERE. 215 00:10:11,377 --> 00:10:14,023 NOW TELL ME, WHAT HAVE YOU GOT AGAINST OLDER WOMEN? 216 00:10:14,047 --> 00:10:15,892 NOTHING. MY MOTHER'S AN OLDER WOMAN, 217 00:10:15,916 --> 00:10:17,660 BUT I WOULDN'T WANT TO DATE HER. 218 00:10:17,684 --> 00:10:20,597 HERE WE GO, GUYS. THE OLD DOUBLE STANDARD ONCE AGAIN. 219 00:10:20,621 --> 00:10:23,199 I SUPPOSE YOU THINK IT'S JUST TERRIBLE FOR AN OLDER WOMAN, 220 00:10:23,223 --> 00:10:26,069 - BUT I BET YOU THINK IT'S OKAY FOR AN OLD MAN. - NO, 221 00:10:26,093 --> 00:10:28,653 I WOULDN'T DATE AN OLD MAN EITHER. (chuckles) 222 00:10:29,095 --> 00:10:31,740 - LARRY... - HE IS SUCH A HYPOCRITE! 223 00:10:31,764 --> 00:10:35,044 OH FORGET HIM, JACK. JUST FORGET ALL ABOUT HIM AND TELL US ABOUT HER. 224 00:10:35,068 --> 00:10:36,778 - YEAH. - NOW, HOW'D YOU MEET HER? 225 00:10:36,802 --> 00:10:40,249 - SHE'S A RELATIVE OF THE ROPERS. - YOU'RE KIDDING. 226 00:10:40,273 --> 00:10:42,251 - NO... - COME ON, JACK, DOES ROPER KNOW? 227 00:10:42,275 --> 00:10:46,444 JANET, DON'T BE SILLY. OF COURSE MR. ROPER KNOWS HIS OWN RELATIVES. 228 00:10:47,648 --> 00:10:50,727 - CHRISSY! - OH LOOK AT THE TIME. 229 00:10:50,751 --> 00:10:52,228 I'M LATE. I GOTTA RUN. 230 00:10:52,252 --> 00:10:54,563 I'LL JUST GET... I GOTTA TAKE A SHOWER. 231 00:10:54,587 --> 00:10:56,833 OKAY, JACK, BUT LISTEN, WHATEVER HAPPENS, 232 00:10:56,857 --> 00:10:59,102 - CHRISSY AND I, WE'RE WITH YOU ALL THE WAY. - YEAH. 233 00:10:59,126 --> 00:11:02,304 OH GREAT, SHOULD WE ALL GET UNDRESSED TOGETHER? 234 00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:04,129 GET IN THERE! 235 00:11:05,465 --> 00:11:06,943 I DON'T BELIEVE HIM. 236 00:11:06,967 --> 00:11:09,612 BOY, DO YOU THINK JACK'S SERIOUS? 237 00:11:09,636 --> 00:11:11,180 OH CHRISSY, WHO KNOWS? 238 00:11:11,204 --> 00:11:14,050 HE'S NEVER DATED A GIRL WHO'S WRITTEN A BOOK. 239 00:11:14,074 --> 00:11:16,634 CHRISSY, HE'S NEVER DATED A GIRL WHO'S READ A BOOK. 240 00:11:17,778 --> 00:11:19,458 - (doorbell rings) - I'LL GET IT. 241 00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:22,458 LISTEN, I ONLY KNOW ONE THING: 242 00:11:22,482 --> 00:11:25,962 IF TWO PEOPLE CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER, THEN AGE DOESN'T MATTER. 243 00:11:25,986 --> 00:11:28,086 - OH HELLO. - HI. 244 00:11:35,161 --> 00:11:37,828 - IS JACK HOME? - OH YES, HE'S IN... 245 00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:46,971 HE... HE... (stammering) 246 00:11:49,276 --> 00:11:52,321 - HE'S TAKING A SHOWER. - OH. 247 00:11:52,345 --> 00:11:56,158 WELL, HE LEFT HIS SWIMMING TRUNKS DOWNSTAIRS. 248 00:11:56,182 --> 00:11:58,928 OH I'M SORRY. YOU DON'T KNOW WHO I AM. 249 00:11:58,952 --> 00:12:01,898 - I'M MRS. ROPER'S AUNT. - HER AUNT? 250 00:12:01,922 --> 00:12:05,301 - AND YOU MUST BE JANET. - JANET, YEAH. 251 00:12:05,325 --> 00:12:08,504 AND YOU'RE CHRISSY. OH JACK HAS TOLD ME ALL ABOUT YOU. 252 00:12:08,528 --> 00:12:11,507 HE'S TOLD US ALL ABOUT YOU TOO. 253 00:12:11,531 --> 00:12:14,810 OH HE DID? WELL, HE'S SUCH A WONDERFUL BOY. 254 00:12:14,834 --> 00:12:18,347 AT DINNER THE OTHER EVENING, I FOUND HIM COMPLETELY IRRESISTIBLE. 255 00:12:18,371 --> 00:12:20,582 - YOU DID? - (sighs) YES, 256 00:12:20,606 --> 00:12:23,406 YOU KNOW, IN A WAY, HE REMINDS ME OF MY FIRST HUSBAND. 257 00:12:26,779 --> 00:12:28,157 YOUR FIRST HUSBAND? 258 00:12:28,181 --> 00:12:31,527 YES, AND ALSO MY THIRD. 259 00:12:31,551 --> 00:12:33,295 AND ALSO MY THIRD. 260 00:12:33,319 --> 00:12:35,998 (stammering) I-I... 261 00:12:36,022 --> 00:12:38,835 I SUPPOSE THAT JACK KNOWS ALL ABOUT THESE HUSBANDS? 262 00:12:38,859 --> 00:12:40,636 OH YES, HE KIDDED ME ABOUT IT. 263 00:12:40,660 --> 00:12:44,106 - HE DID? - OH YES, HE'S SUCH A TEASE. 264 00:12:44,130 --> 00:12:47,243 THAT'S WHAT I LIKE ABOUT HIM... HE MAKES ME FEEL SO YOUNG. 265 00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,868 WHO WOULDN'T? 266 00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:56,685 OH NOTHING... SHE MUMBLES. 267 00:12:56,709 --> 00:12:59,155 OH... I SEE, I'VE GOT TO RUN. 268 00:12:59,179 --> 00:13:03,013 THERE'S SO MANY THINGS TO DO WHEN YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED. 269 00:13:07,387 --> 00:13:08,652 BYE! 270 00:13:24,437 --> 00:13:25,569 MARRIED? 271 00:13:26,706 --> 00:13:30,119 CHRISSY, DID THAT WOMAN SAY MARRIED? 272 00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:33,022 IS JACK GONNA MARRY HER? 273 00:13:33,046 --> 00:13:35,947 WELL, HE DID SAY SHE WAS DIFFERENT. 274 00:13:38,051 --> 00:13:41,030 THIS IS TERRIBLE, CHRISSY! HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN? 275 00:13:41,054 --> 00:13:43,822 WELL, MAYBE SHE LIED ABOUT HER AGE. 276 00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:49,105 COME ON, CHRISSY. THERE'S GOTTA BE 40 YEARS BETWEEN THEM! 277 00:13:49,129 --> 00:13:51,073 JACK'S JUST A KID. HE'S A BABY. 278 00:13:51,097 --> 00:13:54,911 WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU SAID BEFORE, "AGE ISN'T IMPORTANT." 279 00:13:54,935 --> 00:13:58,169 PLEASE, I WAS TALKING ABOUT AGE... NOT OLD AGE! 280 00:13:59,272 --> 00:14:01,583 OH BOY, DO I FEEL TERRIFIC. 281 00:14:01,607 --> 00:14:04,386 IT'S AMAZING WHAT A SHOWER COULD DO. IT MAKES YOU FEEL YEARS YOUNGER. 282 00:14:04,410 --> 00:14:08,057 I WOULDN'T TAKE TOO MANY OF THEM, JACK. 283 00:14:08,081 --> 00:14:09,280 WHAT? 284 00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:14,930 - AHEM, JACK... - YEAH? 285 00:14:14,954 --> 00:14:19,068 YOUR NEW GIRLFRIEND WAS JUST HERE. 286 00:14:19,092 --> 00:14:20,536 - SHE WAS HERE? - SHE WAS HERE. 287 00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:22,938 WHAT DID I TELL YOU? ISN'T SHE SOMETHING ELSE? 288 00:14:22,962 --> 00:14:25,408 SHE'S SOMETHING ELSE, ALL RIGHT. 289 00:14:25,432 --> 00:14:28,544 I GUESS IT'S PRETTY EASY TO SEE WHY I WAS ATTRACTED TO HER, HUH? 290 00:14:28,568 --> 00:14:30,146 WELL, I... 291 00:14:30,170 --> 00:14:32,581 SHE BROUGHT BACK YOUR BATHING TRUNKS. 292 00:14:32,605 --> 00:14:35,506 OH YEAH, WE WENT SURFING ALL WEEKEND. 293 00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:42,391 SURFING? 294 00:14:42,415 --> 00:14:46,162 - YOU WENT SURFING WITH HER? - OH YEAH, SHE'S IN TERRIFIC SHAPE, 295 00:14:46,186 --> 00:14:47,785 AND I DON'T JUST MEAN IN A BIKINI. 296 00:14:50,623 --> 00:14:52,768 BOY, YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE PEOPLE ON THE BEACH. 297 00:14:52,792 --> 00:14:54,670 SHE SURE MADE SOME HEADS TURN. 298 00:14:54,694 --> 00:14:56,638 I CAN IMAGINE. 299 00:14:56,662 --> 00:15:00,376 HEY GIRLS, DON'T GET THE WRONG IDEA. 300 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:03,546 I MEAN, OUR RELATIONSHIP IS NOT EXACTLY WHAT IT SEEMS LIKE. 301 00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:06,337 - IT ISN'T? - NO, IT'S NOT ALL SEX. 302 00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:10,486 GIRLS, I GOT A COUPLE OF ERRANDS TO RUN, 303 00:15:10,510 --> 00:15:12,521 THEN I'M MEETING HER AT THE REGAL BEAGLE AT 6:30. 304 00:15:12,545 --> 00:15:14,190 TALK TO YOU LATER, BYE-BYE... OH... 305 00:15:14,214 --> 00:15:16,292 OH HI, JACK. LISTEN, I'M GLAD I CAUGHT YOU. 306 00:15:16,316 --> 00:15:20,128 LOOK, I WAS THINKING ABOUT WHAT THE GIRLS WERE SAYING BEFORE, 307 00:15:20,152 --> 00:15:23,465 AND THEY'RE RIGHT. AGE DOESN'T MATTER 308 00:15:23,489 --> 00:15:25,534 AS LONG AS YOU TWO REALLY DIG EACH OTHER. 309 00:15:25,558 --> 00:15:27,670 - OH LARRY, THANK YOU. - OKAY. 310 00:15:27,694 --> 00:15:29,909 I REALLY APPRECIATE THIS. I GOTTA RUN. I'M LATE. 311 00:15:29,933 --> 00:15:30,933 CATCH YA LATER. 312 00:15:32,565 --> 00:15:33,976 WAS THAT OKAY? AM I FORGIVEN? 313 00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:36,145 - ARE YOU NUTS? - ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? 314 00:15:36,169 --> 00:15:38,881 WHOA, WHOA, HANG ON A SECOND. I'M ON YOUR SIDE. 315 00:15:38,905 --> 00:15:41,950 - LARRY, WE HAVE JUST MET JACK'S NEW GIRLFRIEND. - YEAH? 316 00:15:41,974 --> 00:15:44,020 - REMEMBER JACK SAID SHE WAS OLDER? - YEAH. 317 00:15:44,044 --> 00:15:46,622 WELL, SHE'S A LOT OLDER THAN THAT. 318 00:15:46,646 --> 00:15:47,856 - REALLY? - REALLY. 319 00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:49,691 - REALLY. - WOW. 320 00:15:49,715 --> 00:15:53,429 MAYBE SHE'S THE TYPE OF WOMAN WHO GETS TURNED ON BY YOUNG GUYS. 321 00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:55,498 - YOU THINK SO? - YEAH. 322 00:15:55,522 --> 00:15:59,034 (gasps) OOH, OOH LARRY, 323 00:15:59,058 --> 00:16:01,036 WELL, IF THAT'S TRUE, 324 00:16:01,060 --> 00:16:04,473 THEN ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS FIND A YOUNG GUY TO TURN HER ON 325 00:16:04,497 --> 00:16:06,908 AND JACK COULD SEE HER FOR THE KIND OF WOMAN SHE REALLY IS. 326 00:16:06,932 --> 00:16:08,978 - YEAH. - GREAT. 327 00:16:09,002 --> 00:16:10,512 WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO FIND A YOUNG GUY WHO'S 328 00:16:10,536 --> 00:16:14,005 GOOD-LOOKING, CHARMING, SOPHISTICATED... 329 00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:17,075 AND A LOT OF LAUGHS? 330 00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:21,011 OKAY, I'LL DO IT. 331 00:16:24,684 --> 00:16:26,328 OKAY, LARRY, ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE ON. 332 00:16:26,352 --> 00:16:27,796 CHRISSY, IT'LL BE OKAY. 333 00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:29,831 GO DOWN TO THE ROPERS AND GET THAT WOMAN UP HERE. 334 00:16:29,855 --> 00:16:33,491 YEAH AND THEN, YOU JUST LEAVE EVERYTHING TO "LARRY LOVE-LIPS." 335 00:16:41,301 --> 00:16:44,213 OH BOY, LARRY. THIS IS SO NICE OF YOU. 336 00:16:44,237 --> 00:16:46,248 - HEY, I'M A FRIEND, REMEMBER? - YEAH. 337 00:16:46,272 --> 00:16:48,217 AND I'M DOING THIS FOR JACK. (chuckles) 338 00:16:48,241 --> 00:16:50,274 - SHE'S HERE! - OH. 339 00:16:52,745 --> 00:16:54,022 - LARRY? - YEAH? 340 00:16:54,046 --> 00:16:56,092 GO GET HER! 341 00:16:56,116 --> 00:16:57,748 (chuckles) 342 00:17:02,255 --> 00:17:04,589 ♪ JUST A GIGOLO... ♪ 343 00:17:12,098 --> 00:17:13,698 I... UH... (stammering) 344 00:17:15,835 --> 00:17:16,867 EXCUSE ME. 345 00:17:18,304 --> 00:17:20,216 LARRY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING BACK IN HERE? 346 00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:22,284 I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE WITHOUT SAYING GOOD BYE. 347 00:17:22,308 --> 00:17:24,987 WAIT A MINUTE. YOU CAN'T QUIT NOW! 348 00:17:25,011 --> 00:17:26,788 WATCH ME. 349 00:17:26,812 --> 00:17:29,625 - LARRY! - OKAY, IT'S OFF FOR TOMORROW NIGHT! 350 00:17:29,649 --> 00:17:31,160 WHAT'S OFF? 351 00:17:31,184 --> 00:17:32,995 CHRISSY HERE, SHE DECIDED SHE WAS 352 00:17:33,019 --> 00:17:34,730 GONNA GO OUT WITH YOU ANYWAY. 353 00:17:34,754 --> 00:17:36,932 - YOU DID? - I DID? 354 00:17:36,956 --> 00:17:40,136 CHRISSY, YOU KIDDER. (nervous laughter) 355 00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:43,071 OH YEAH... OF COURSE, NOW SEE, IT'S ALL DIFFERENT, THOUGH. 356 00:17:43,095 --> 00:17:44,972 IT'S OFF BECAUSE CHRISSY'S NOT ABOUT TO GO 357 00:17:44,996 --> 00:17:46,942 OUT WITH A GUY WHO DESERTS HIS BEST FRIEND. 358 00:17:46,966 --> 00:17:51,079 WELL, MAYBE I WAS A LITTLE BIT HASTY. 359 00:17:51,103 --> 00:17:52,914 YEAH, LARRY, YOU WERE JUST A LITTLE BIT HASTY. 360 00:17:52,938 --> 00:17:55,005 - ALL RIGHT. - THERE YOU GO. 361 00:18:02,148 --> 00:18:03,281 HI. 362 00:18:04,684 --> 00:18:05,816 HI. 363 00:18:09,556 --> 00:18:11,467 I'M LARRY. 364 00:18:11,491 --> 00:18:13,569 OH WELL, HOW DO YOU DO? 365 00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:15,804 - I'M MARTHA. - MARTHA, 366 00:18:15,828 --> 00:18:17,606 WHAT A BEAUTIFUL NAME. 367 00:18:17,630 --> 00:18:19,363 REMINDS ONE OF VINEYARDS. 368 00:18:22,335 --> 00:18:24,580 - A LITTLE WINE? - YES, THANK YOU. 369 00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:28,584 EXCUSE ME, BUT I JUST COULDN'T HELP BUT NOTICE YOUR PERFUME. 370 00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:31,853 IT'S SO MYSTERIOUS, SO ENCHANTING... 371 00:18:31,877 --> 00:18:34,990 SO SENSUAL... 372 00:18:35,014 --> 00:18:37,448 - WHAT DO YOU CALL IT? - BENGAY. 373 00:18:45,925 --> 00:18:49,338 YOU KNOW, I RUB IT ON MY SHOULDERS. 374 00:18:49,362 --> 00:18:53,942 - RIGHT. - IT'S THE ONLY THING THAT WORKS FOR MY RHEUMATISM. 375 00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:59,370 WELL, IT'S SO... YOU. 376 00:19:01,307 --> 00:19:03,107 - YOUR HEALTH. - OH THANK YOU. 377 00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:11,316 UM... 378 00:19:14,053 --> 00:19:16,832 I UNDERSTOOD THAT JANET WANTED TO SEE ME. 379 00:19:16,856 --> 00:19:18,667 JANET. HA HA. 380 00:19:18,691 --> 00:19:22,091 YEAH, SHE'S A NICE LITTLE GIRL FOR SOMEONE HER AGE. 381 00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:26,842 YOUNG MAN, JUST EXACTLY WHAT IS IT YOU'RE DOING? 382 00:19:26,866 --> 00:19:28,866 NOW WHY FIGHT IT, MARTHA? 383 00:19:30,035 --> 00:19:31,747 I KNEW FROM THE MINUTE I SET EYES ON YOU, 384 00:19:31,771 --> 00:19:34,171 - THERE WAS SOMETHING BETWEEN US. - OH, OH... 385 00:19:39,846 --> 00:19:42,223 HEAVENS TO BETSY! (gasps) 386 00:19:42,247 --> 00:19:43,792 COME ON, WE'RE GONNA BE LATE FOR DINNER. 387 00:19:43,816 --> 00:19:45,727 HOW COULD YOU TALK ABOUT DINNER AT A TIME LIKE THIS? 388 00:19:45,751 --> 00:19:48,229 - WHY, WHAT'S THE MATTER? - WHAT'S THE MATTER?! 389 00:19:48,253 --> 00:19:51,154 HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF SOME YOUNG MAN TRIED TO SEDUCE YOU? 390 00:19:59,765 --> 00:20:01,677 SOMEONE TRIED TO SEDUCE YOU? 391 00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:04,279 I HOPE YOU GOT HIS NAME AND NUMBER. 392 00:20:04,303 --> 00:20:08,717 IT'S THIS! THIS IS THE OBJECT I'M TALKING ABOUT! 393 00:20:08,741 --> 00:20:12,153 - HE TRIED TO SEDUCE ME! - LARRY?! 394 00:20:12,177 --> 00:20:14,823 I'M SORRY. IT WAS ALL A MISTAKE. 395 00:20:14,847 --> 00:20:16,859 - YOU GOTTA BELIEVE ME. - LET ME OUT OF HERE. 396 00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:19,049 NO, NO, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT... 397 00:20:25,290 --> 00:20:26,724 YOU'RE WEIRD! 398 00:20:32,264 --> 00:20:34,075 - OH BOY, LARRY! - OH THANKS! 399 00:20:34,099 --> 00:20:35,711 THANKS FOR COMING TO THE RESCUE! 400 00:20:35,735 --> 00:20:37,679 WHAT DID YOU EXPECT US TO DO? 401 00:20:37,703 --> 00:20:39,447 - YOU COULD HAVE... - LARRY, COME ON! 402 00:20:39,471 --> 00:20:41,650 OKAY, LARRY, I'M SORRY. 403 00:20:41,674 --> 00:20:43,886 SORRY? DON'T YOU HAVE ANYTHING ELSE TO SAY? 404 00:20:43,910 --> 00:20:45,053 - YES. - WHAT? 405 00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:46,243 OUR DATE'S OFF. 406 00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:57,399 THANK YOU FOR A LOVELY WEEKEND. IT'S BEEN FUN. 407 00:20:57,423 --> 00:20:59,501 - DO YOU HAVE TO LEAVE TOMORROW? - YES. 408 00:20:59,525 --> 00:21:01,069 RIGHT AFTER MY MOTHER'S WEDDING, 409 00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:02,504 IT'S BACK TO SEATTLE AND MY BOOK. 410 00:21:02,528 --> 00:21:05,273 ONE OF THESE DAYS WHEN YOU IN THE NOBEL PRIZE... 411 00:21:05,297 --> 00:21:08,877 THEY DON'T GIVE A NOBEL PRIZE FOR ARCHAEOLOGY. 412 00:21:08,901 --> 00:21:11,212 NO, I'M TALKING ABOUT SURFING. 413 00:21:11,236 --> 00:21:12,748 (Both chuckle) 414 00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:16,206 - OH I'VE REALLY ENJOYED IT. - ME TOO. 415 00:21:17,643 --> 00:21:19,621 Janet: CHRISSY, CHRISSY, PLEASE! 416 00:21:19,645 --> 00:21:22,791 WAIT A MINUTE. ARE YOU SURE WE'RE DOING THE RIGHT THING? 417 00:21:22,815 --> 00:21:26,662 YES, WE ARE GOING TO FIND OUT WHY HE'S MARRYING THAT WOMAN, 418 00:21:26,686 --> 00:21:28,630 AND WHY HE'S KEEPING IT A SECRET. 419 00:21:28,654 --> 00:21:30,214 - AND... - WHO THAT IS! 420 00:21:36,228 --> 00:21:37,668 - JACK! - (squeals) HI! 421 00:21:40,633 --> 00:21:43,078 OH THESE ARE THE GIRLS. THESE ARE MY ROOMMATES. 422 00:21:43,102 --> 00:21:45,881 - OH... - YOU KNOW... WE KNOW EVERYTHING! 423 00:21:45,905 --> 00:21:48,483 JACK, COULD WE PLEASE SPEAK TO YOU IN PRIVATE? 424 00:21:48,507 --> 00:21:50,619 WELL, SURE. EXCUSE ME, BARBARA. 425 00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:53,689 - TRY NOT TO MISS ME TOO MUCH. - IT'LL BE A PROBLEM. 426 00:21:53,713 --> 00:21:56,258 YOU KNOW, IF YOU KNEW WHAT JACK IS GOING TO DO, 427 00:21:56,282 --> 00:21:58,162 YOU WOULDN'T BE DOING WHAT YOU JUST DID. 428 00:22:02,121 --> 00:22:04,066 - ALL RIGHT, WHAT'S UP, LADIES? - JACK, COME ON. 429 00:22:04,090 --> 00:22:07,235 THINK OF WHAT YOU'RE DOING. YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW. 430 00:22:07,259 --> 00:22:08,637 (laughs) I AM? 431 00:22:08,661 --> 00:22:10,494 DON'T ACT DUMB! 432 00:22:12,364 --> 00:22:13,942 I'M NOT ACTING DUMB! 433 00:22:13,966 --> 00:22:17,467 (scoffs) I OUGHTA KNOW WHEN SOMEBODY'S ACTING DUMB. 434 00:22:18,938 --> 00:22:21,316 LOOK, LADIES, I AM NOT GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW, 435 00:22:21,340 --> 00:22:22,584 BUT I DO HAVE A DATE TONIGHT. 436 00:22:22,608 --> 00:22:24,519 THANK YOU VERY MUCH AND GOOD BYE. 437 00:22:24,543 --> 00:22:27,723 JACK, WE ARE NOT QUITTING TILL WE GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS! 438 00:22:27,747 --> 00:22:29,357 EXCUSE ME, WHAT IS THIS ALL ABOUT? 439 00:22:29,381 --> 00:22:31,526 FOR SOME REASON, THEY THINK I'M GETTING MARRIED. 440 00:22:31,550 --> 00:22:33,461 - REALLY? YOU NEVER TOLD ME. - I KNOW. 441 00:22:33,485 --> 00:22:36,131 I'M SURPRISED HE EVEN TOLD HIS BRIDE MARTHA. 442 00:22:36,155 --> 00:22:39,367 - MARTHA? - THAT'S OUR LANDLADY'S POOR OLD AUNT. 443 00:22:39,391 --> 00:22:42,325 - THAT'S MY MOTHER! - (Both gasp) 444 00:22:45,330 --> 00:22:48,143 - YOUR MOTHER? - SHAME ON YOU, JACK! 445 00:22:48,167 --> 00:22:50,634 YOU WERE JUST KISSING YOUR STEPDAUGHTER! 446 00:22:52,571 --> 00:22:55,751 WAIT, WAIT, MY MOTHER IS GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW, 447 00:22:55,775 --> 00:22:57,385 BUT NOT TO JACK. 448 00:22:57,409 --> 00:23:01,489 YOU MEAN, SHE'S DOUBLE-CROSSING HIM! 449 00:23:01,513 --> 00:23:04,626 - YOU STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND. BARBARA... - I THINK I CAN MAKE THIS CLEAR. 450 00:23:04,650 --> 00:23:07,562 NO, I THINK MAYBE I SHOULD TAKE CARE OF THIS ONE. 451 00:23:07,586 --> 00:23:10,231 CHRISSY, YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENED WAS... 452 00:23:10,255 --> 00:23:14,269 WHAT HAPPENED WAS WE THOUGHT BARBARA'S MOTHER WAS BARBARA. 453 00:23:14,293 --> 00:23:16,137 - YEAH... - I THINK SHE'S GOT IT. 454 00:23:16,161 --> 00:23:20,230 OF COURSE, I GOT IT. I DON'T HAVE TO HAVE EVERY TEENY LITTLE THING EXPLAINED TO ME. 455 00:23:22,501 --> 00:23:25,914 - BARBARA, I HOPE YOUR MOTHER HAS A VERY NICE WEDDING. - OH THANK YOU. 456 00:23:25,938 --> 00:23:29,458 BUT AFTER SHE'S MARRIED, I DON'T THINK SHE OUGHT TO GO SURFING WITH JACK ANYMORE. 457 00:23:38,150 --> 00:23:39,928 YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO LAUGH 458 00:23:39,952 --> 00:23:43,632 WHEN THE MINISTER TOLD THE GROOM TO KISS THE BRIDE. 459 00:23:43,656 --> 00:23:47,168 I ONLY LAUGHED WHEN HE HAD TO POINT THE GROOM IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION. 460 00:23:47,192 --> 00:23:48,870 (laughs) 461 00:23:48,894 --> 00:23:52,373 WELL, I'D LIKE TO PROPOSE ANOTHER TOAST: 462 00:23:52,397 --> 00:23:54,710 TO AUNT MARTHA'S HAPPINESS. 463 00:23:54,734 --> 00:23:57,412 THAT POOR WOMAN HAS HAD A LOT OF GRIEF. 464 00:23:57,436 --> 00:23:59,870 NO WONDER, SHE'S HAD A LOT OF MARRIAGES. 465 00:24:01,273 --> 00:24:04,352 YOU COULD AT LEAST HAVE A LITTLE SYMPATHY. 466 00:24:04,376 --> 00:24:06,989 IT HASN'T BEEN EASY FOR HER, YOU KNOW? 467 00:24:07,013 --> 00:24:08,690 I KNOW, I KNOW. 468 00:24:08,714 --> 00:24:11,226 I MEAN, HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE FOUR DEAD HUSBANDS? 469 00:24:11,250 --> 00:24:14,151 I'D SETTLE FOR ONE LIVE ONE. 470 00:24:18,257 --> 00:24:20,168 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I'M NOT DEAD. 471 00:24:20,192 --> 00:24:24,305 YOU'RE JUST NOT BURIED, STANLEY. 472 00:24:24,329 --> 00:24:26,563 (laughing) 473 00:24:30,302 --> 00:24:33,236 (theme music playing) 474 00:24:50,355 --> 00:24:52,467 Ritter's voice: THREE'S COMPANY WAS VIDEOTAPED 475 00:24:52,491 --> 00:24:54,371 IN FRONT OF A STUDIO AUDIENCE. 34788

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