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1
00:02:13,668 --> 00:02:15,804
♪ Hello
2
00:02:15,837 --> 00:02:19,408
♪ I don't even know your name ♪
3
00:02:19,441 --> 00:02:23,978
♪ But I'm hoping all the same ♪
4
00:02:24,012 --> 00:02:29,484
♪ This is more than
just a simple hello ♪
5
00:02:29,518 --> 00:02:31,486
♪ Hello
6
00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:35,590
♪ Do I smile and look away ♪
7
00:02:35,624 --> 00:02:39,628
♪ No, I think I'll smile
and stay ♪
8
00:02:39,661 --> 00:02:44,766
♪ To see where this might go ♪
9
00:02:44,799 --> 00:02:49,804
♪ 'Cause the last time
I felt like this ♪
10
00:02:49,838 --> 00:02:54,409
♪ I was falling in love
11
00:02:54,443 --> 00:02:56,445
♪ Falling and feeling
12
00:02:56,478 --> 00:03:00,048
♪ I'd never fall in love again ♪
13
00:03:00,081 --> 00:03:04,453
♪ Yes, the last time
I felt like this ♪
14
00:03:04,486 --> 00:03:08,056
♪ Was long before I knew
15
00:03:08,089 --> 00:03:11,793
♪ What I'm feeling now
16
00:03:11,826 --> 00:03:18,967
♪ With you
17
00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:21,169
♪ Hello
18
00:03:21,202 --> 00:03:25,540
♪ I can't wait
till we're alone ♪
19
00:03:25,574 --> 00:03:29,043
♪ Somewhere quiet on our own ♪
20
00:03:29,077 --> 00:03:31,079
♪ So that we can fall
21
00:03:31,112 --> 00:03:34,549
♪ The rest of the way
22
00:03:34,583 --> 00:03:36,585
♪ I know
23
00:03:36,618 --> 00:03:40,154
♪ That before
the night is through ♪
24
00:03:40,188 --> 00:03:44,058
♪ I'll be talking love to you ♪
25
00:03:44,092 --> 00:03:46,595
♪ Meaning every word
26
00:03:46,628 --> 00:03:49,197
♪ I say
27
00:03:49,230 --> 00:03:54,068
♪ Oh, the last time
I felt like this ♪
28
00:03:54,102 --> 00:03:58,540
♪ I was falling in love
29
00:03:58,573 --> 00:04:01,576
♪ Falling and feeling
30
00:04:01,610 --> 00:04:04,513
♪ I'd never fall in love again ♪
31
00:04:04,546 --> 00:04:08,983
♪ Yes, the last time I felt like this ♪
♪ The very last time
32
00:04:09,017 --> 00:04:10,985
♪ Was long before I knew
33
00:04:11,019 --> 00:04:16,658
♪ What I'm feeling now
34
00:04:16,691 --> 00:04:23,632
♪ With you ♪
35
00:05:37,305 --> 00:05:39,641
Come on, damn it.
36
00:05:48,216 --> 00:05:50,318
Hi.
37
00:05:50,351 --> 00:05:53,354
Uh... hello.
38
00:05:53,387 --> 00:05:56,691
That's a real
sharp-lookin' outfit.
39
00:05:58,059 --> 00:06:01,029
What time is it?
My watch is on the bed table.
40
00:06:04,198 --> 00:06:07,201
- Ten to 12:00?
- No, no, it's 8:25.
41
00:06:07,235 --> 00:06:09,203
The stem is broken.
42
00:06:09,237 --> 00:06:12,173
It's three hours
and 25 minutes fast.
43
00:06:12,206 --> 00:06:14,342
Why don't you get it fixed?
44
00:06:15,710 --> 00:06:18,847
I was going to,
but I got used to it.
45
00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:21,916
Doesn't it mix you up?
46
00:06:21,950 --> 00:06:26,087
No, I'm very quick with figures.
Oh.
47
00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:29,057
Why are you looking
at me like that?
48
00:06:29,090 --> 00:06:31,726
Why do you have to
look so luminous?
49
00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:34,829
It would make things so much easier
if you woke up with puffy eyes...
50
00:06:34,863 --> 00:06:38,700
and blotchy skin
like everyone else.
51
00:06:38,733 --> 00:06:42,003
I guess God just figured that
chubby thighs were enough.
52
00:06:42,036 --> 00:06:45,740
Look, this isn't gonna just go away.
We have to talk about this.
53
00:06:45,774 --> 00:06:47,676
Okay.
54
00:06:51,846 --> 00:06:54,015
Where you going?
I wanna brush my teeth.
55
00:06:54,048 --> 00:06:56,017
Dorothy, sit down.
56
00:06:56,050 --> 00:06:59,788
Oh, by the way...
No, please, sit.
57
00:06:59,821 --> 00:07:01,856
Dorothy, in the first place,
58
00:07:01,890 --> 00:07:04,926
I want you to know that what happened
last night was the most beautiful,
59
00:07:04,959 --> 00:07:07,295
wonderful, crazy thing
that's ever happened to me,
60
00:07:07,328 --> 00:07:09,197
and I'll never forget it or you.
61
00:07:09,230 --> 00:07:11,766
Doris.
62
00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:15,236
What?
My name is Doris.
63
00:07:18,306 --> 00:07:20,809
Your name is Doris?
Yes.
64
00:07:22,243 --> 00:07:25,446
I've been calling you
Dorothy all night. I know.
65
00:07:25,479 --> 00:07:30,418
Why didn't you tell me earlier?
I didn't know we were gonna end up...
66
00:07:30,451 --> 00:07:33,688
And then I did try and tell
you, but you weren't listening.
67
00:07:35,256 --> 00:07:38,259
When?
68
00:07:38,292 --> 00:07:41,796
It was right in the middle
of everything.
69
00:07:41,830 --> 00:07:45,366
It was incredible, wasn't it?
70
00:07:45,399 --> 00:07:48,903
It was... nice.
71
00:07:48,937 --> 00:07:52,741
I mean, especially
the last time.
72
00:07:54,175 --> 00:07:56,845
I know, I'm an animal.
73
00:07:57,946 --> 00:08:00,715
I don't know what came over me.
74
00:08:00,749 --> 00:08:04,853
I mean, I was... what... Wait,
what was wrong with the first two times?
75
00:08:04,886 --> 00:08:08,489
Well, the first time
was a little fast.
76
00:08:08,522 --> 00:08:13,795
And, um, the second time...
77
00:08:16,297 --> 00:08:19,100
Listen, I really feel funny
talking about this.
78
00:08:19,133 --> 00:08:22,070
It was a very beautiful
thing, Doris.
79
00:08:22,103 --> 00:08:25,840
There was nothing ugly or
disgusting about what we did.
80
00:08:25,874 --> 00:08:28,376
Then how come you look
so down in the dumps?
81
00:08:28,409 --> 00:08:31,345
Because my wife
is going to kill me.
82
00:08:31,379 --> 00:08:35,149
Well, how's she gonna find out?
She knows already.
83
00:08:35,183 --> 00:08:38,787
- You said she was in New Jersey.
- It doesn't matter. She knows.
84
00:08:38,820 --> 00:08:41,956
How?
85
00:08:41,990 --> 00:08:44,759
Was it as incredible for you
as it was for me?
86
00:08:44,793 --> 00:08:48,863
Do all men like to talk
about it a lot afterwards?
87
00:08:50,264 --> 00:08:52,867
Why? You think I'm some kind
of a pervert or something?
88
00:08:52,901 --> 00:08:54,869
Oh, no!
I was just curious.
89
00:08:54,903 --> 00:08:59,073
See, I was a virgin when I got married.
Well, at least sort of.
90
00:09:00,975 --> 00:09:03,144
Sort of?
91
00:09:03,177 --> 00:09:06,881
Well, I was pregnant,
but I don't count that.
92
00:09:06,915 --> 00:09:09,150
Doris, that counts!
93
00:09:09,183 --> 00:09:12,821
No, I mean it was by the man that
I married. Oh, I see. I'm sorry.
94
00:09:12,854 --> 00:09:16,490
Oh, that's all right. See, Harry and
me were gonna get married anyway.
95
00:09:16,524 --> 00:09:19,994
That just speeded things up
a little bit.
96
00:09:20,028 --> 00:09:25,066
It turns out I get pregnant if
we drink out of the same cup.
97
00:09:25,099 --> 00:09:27,535
What's the matter?
98
00:09:27,568 --> 00:09:30,138
Nothing.
I-I-I-I'm fine.
99
00:09:30,171 --> 00:09:32,140
I'm all right.
100
00:09:32,173 --> 00:09:34,508
Doris?
What?
101
00:09:36,310 --> 00:09:39,047
I think I'm in love with you.
102
00:09:43,551 --> 00:09:47,388
I mean, it's crazy.
It's really crazy.
103
00:09:47,421 --> 00:09:50,124
I don't even know if you've
read Catcher in the Rye.
104
00:09:50,158 --> 00:09:53,895
Oh, no, I didn't even finish high school.
There. You see?
105
00:09:53,928 --> 00:09:57,832
I don't even care,
and I'm really a snob about education.
106
00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:02,170
Of course, I should have
known this would happen.
107
00:10:02,203 --> 00:10:05,940
When it comes to life,
I have a brown thumb. What do you mean?
108
00:10:05,974 --> 00:10:09,543
I mean nothing I ever do
turns out right.
109
00:10:09,577 --> 00:10:12,881
First time... First time I had
sex, I was 18 years old.
110
00:10:12,914 --> 00:10:16,517
We were in the backseat
of a parked 1938 Dodge sedan.
111
00:10:16,550 --> 00:10:19,487
Right in the middle of it,
we were rear-ended.
112
00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:22,356
Oh. And you didn't have
any insurance?
113
00:10:22,390 --> 00:10:25,093
No, that's not exactly
what I mean. I mean...
114
00:10:25,126 --> 00:10:27,361
Oh.
Look, take last night.
115
00:10:27,395 --> 00:10:30,264
You know what the radio was
playing while we were making love?
116
00:10:30,298 --> 00:10:33,167
No. "If I Knew You Were
Coming, I'd Have Baked A Cake."
117
00:10:33,201 --> 00:10:36,070
So?
So that's gonna be our song.
118
00:10:36,104 --> 00:10:38,072
Is it?
No.
119
00:10:38,106 --> 00:10:41,943
I mean, other people would have gotten
"Be My Love" or "Some Enchanted Evening."
120
00:10:41,976 --> 00:10:46,280
Me, I get "If I Knew You Were
Coming, I'd Have Baked A Cake."
121
00:10:54,555 --> 00:10:57,025
What is it?
122
00:10:57,058 --> 00:11:00,194
I really want to
take a bath now.
123
00:11:00,228 --> 00:11:02,463
Oh, I'm so...
Oh, I see. I'm sorry.
124
00:11:02,496 --> 00:11:04,398
It's okay.
125
00:11:05,967 --> 00:11:10,304
Yeah. Okay. Oh, sure.
I'll... I'll wait out... I'll be out...
126
00:11:46,207 --> 00:11:47,575
Wow!
127
00:11:47,608 --> 00:11:50,211
We're in big trouble, Doris.
Huh?
128
00:11:50,244 --> 00:11:53,181
I really think I've fallen
in love with you.
129
00:11:53,214 --> 00:11:56,951
- You wanna know what kind of luck I have?
- Yeah.
130
00:11:56,985 --> 00:11:59,387
I'm happily married!
131
00:11:59,420 --> 00:12:01,555
Are you Jewish?
132
00:12:01,589 --> 00:12:02,823
No.
133
00:12:02,856 --> 00:12:06,027
Then how come you feel so guilty?
Don't you feel guilty?
134
00:12:06,060 --> 00:12:11,032
You kidding?
Half my high school became nuns.
135
00:12:11,065 --> 00:12:13,734
I guess the Catholics have
rules about this sort of thing.
136
00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:16,971
Oh, yeah, we have rules
about everything.
137
00:12:17,005 --> 00:12:19,340
That's what's so great
about being Catholic.
138
00:12:19,373 --> 00:12:21,609
You always know where you stand.
139
00:12:21,642 --> 00:12:24,745
I tell you, Doris,
I feel like slitting my wrists.
140
00:12:24,778 --> 00:12:28,282
- Are you Italian?
- What's with you and nationalities?
141
00:12:28,316 --> 00:12:31,452
Nothing.
You're just so emotional.
142
00:12:31,485 --> 00:12:34,322
I happen to be a C.P.A.
Oh?
143
00:12:34,355 --> 00:12:38,659
I could be as logical
as the next person. Oh.
144
00:12:38,692 --> 00:12:41,462
Well, you don't strike me
as the accountant type.
145
00:12:41,495 --> 00:12:44,398
It's very simple.
My whole life has been a mess.
146
00:12:44,432 --> 00:12:47,035
Figures always come out right.
147
00:12:47,068 --> 00:12:50,038
What are you?
Oh, I'm Irish.
148
00:12:50,071 --> 00:12:53,707
Well, they're emotional. Why aren't
you yelling or crying or something?
149
00:12:53,741 --> 00:12:56,577
I did all of that before
in the bathroom.
150
00:12:56,610 --> 00:13:00,181
Crying?
Nope. Yelling.
151
00:13:00,214 --> 00:13:04,385
I didn't hear you.
I stuffed a towel in my mouth.
152
00:13:04,418 --> 00:13:07,255
I'm sorry.
It's all right.
153
00:13:07,288 --> 00:13:10,091
No sense crying over spilt milk.
154
00:13:10,124 --> 00:13:13,094
Yeah, you're right.
155
00:13:13,127 --> 00:13:16,264
How come we feel so terrible?
156
00:13:16,297 --> 00:13:20,168
Because we're two decent, honest people,
and this thing is tearing us apart.
157
00:13:20,201 --> 00:13:23,037
I mean, I know it wasn't our
fault, but I...
158
00:13:23,071 --> 00:13:27,108
I keep seeing the faces of my children
and the look of betrayal in their eyes.
159
00:13:27,141 --> 00:13:29,643
I keep thinking
about my marriage vows,
160
00:13:29,677 --> 00:13:32,713
the trust my wife
has placed in me...
161
00:13:32,746 --> 00:13:36,717
and all the experiences
we've shared together.
162
00:13:36,750 --> 00:13:39,053
And you know
the worst part of it all?
163
00:13:39,087 --> 00:13:41,255
What?
164
00:13:41,289 --> 00:13:45,826
While I'm thinking all this,
165
00:13:45,859 --> 00:13:48,362
I have this fantastic hard-on.
166
00:13:52,833 --> 00:13:55,803
I really wish
you hadn't said that.
167
00:13:55,836 --> 00:13:58,639
I'm sorry. I think we should be
totally honest with each other.
168
00:13:58,672 --> 00:14:01,809
It's not that.
It's that I have to go to confession.
169
00:14:08,782 --> 00:14:10,784
You know...
170
00:14:12,353 --> 00:14:15,089
W-We're both crazy.
You know that, don't you?
171
00:14:15,123 --> 00:14:20,261
I mean, this sort of thing happens
every day to millions of people.
172
00:14:20,294 --> 00:14:25,199
You don't use actual names in
confession, do you? No.
173
00:14:35,176 --> 00:14:37,411
Doris, may I ask you something?
174
00:14:37,445 --> 00:14:40,448
Sure.
175
00:14:40,481 --> 00:14:43,151
Would you go to bed
with me again?
176
00:14:43,184 --> 00:14:45,553
Oh, George, I can't.
177
00:14:45,586 --> 00:14:48,622
Why not? 'Cause we'd just
feel worse afterwards.
178
00:14:48,656 --> 00:14:51,759
Oh, no. I'm over that now.
I just remembered something.
179
00:14:51,792 --> 00:14:54,328
What?
The Russians have the bomb.
180
00:14:54,362 --> 00:14:56,764
We could all be dead tomorrow.
181
00:14:56,797 --> 00:14:59,633
George, I think you're
clutching at straws.
182
00:14:59,667 --> 00:15:02,570
Doris, don't you understand?
No.
183
00:15:02,603 --> 00:15:05,439
We're two grown-up people.
184
00:15:05,473 --> 00:15:09,743
We have absolutely nothing
to be ashamed or afraid of.
185
00:15:15,583 --> 00:15:18,686
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
186
00:15:18,719 --> 00:15:21,422
What are we gonna do?
187
00:15:21,455 --> 00:15:24,258
What are we gonna do?
188
00:15:24,292 --> 00:15:26,327
Uh... Coming!
My hat. My bag.
189
00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:28,562
What?
My hat! My bag!
190
00:15:30,364 --> 00:15:32,366
Be right there.
191
00:15:34,268 --> 00:15:36,537
Wait a minute! Wait a minute!
Where are you going?
192
00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:42,510
Okay.
193
00:15:42,543 --> 00:15:45,379
- Don't go in the bathroom.
- Why not?
194
00:15:45,413 --> 00:15:48,682
That's the first place
they'd look.
195
00:15:48,716 --> 00:15:50,618
Oh!
196
00:15:57,491 --> 00:16:00,494
Oh, hello.
Oh, good morning, Mr. Peters.
197
00:16:00,528 --> 00:16:03,142
I've got your breakfast.
Did you have a good night?
198
00:16:03,167 --> 00:16:04,198
Yes. Fine, fine.
199
00:16:04,232 --> 00:16:07,935
Uh, y-you know,
I think I heard an owl out here.
200
00:16:22,983 --> 00:16:27,588
I'm a C.P.A. When you work hard all
year, it's great to get back to nature.
201
00:16:27,621 --> 00:16:30,291
I really loved it.
That's right.
202
00:16:30,324 --> 00:16:33,894
Well, thank you, Mr. Chalmers.
You're welcome.
203
00:16:33,927 --> 00:16:36,264
Have a nice day, now.
Thank you. You too.
204
00:16:36,297 --> 00:16:37,031
Enjoy the view.
205
00:16:37,056 --> 00:16:39,257
Yes, I will.
I'll just wander around by myself.
206
00:16:44,905 --> 00:16:46,840
Doris?
207
00:16:51,279 --> 00:16:53,281
Doris?
208
00:16:57,050 --> 00:16:59,653
Have you got a woman in there?
209
00:17:01,522 --> 00:17:05,293
It's okay. It was old
Mr. Chalmers with my breakfast.
210
00:17:05,326 --> 00:17:08,929
I was very calm. He didn't suspect a thing.
He didn't ask about the girdle.
211
00:17:08,962 --> 00:17:11,832
- What?
- Girdle.
212
00:17:14,368 --> 00:17:16,437
Oh, great!
213
00:17:16,470 --> 00:17:18,772
Now he probably thinks I'm a homo.
Oh, well.
214
00:17:18,806 --> 00:17:22,310
What do you care?
I stay here every year.
215
00:17:22,343 --> 00:17:24,578
Oh, yeah? How come?
216
00:17:24,612 --> 00:17:27,448
I have a friend who went into
the wine business near here.
217
00:17:27,481 --> 00:17:31,852
I fly out the same weekend every year
to do his books. From New Jersey?
218
00:17:31,885 --> 00:17:34,622
He was my first client.
It's sort of a sentimental thing.
219
00:17:34,655 --> 00:17:36,557
Oh, I see.
220
00:17:39,893 --> 00:17:43,397
Uh, Doris, I'd like to
tell you something. Okay.
221
00:17:43,431 --> 00:17:46,400
You probably think I do this
sort of thing all the time.
222
00:17:46,434 --> 00:17:49,970
I know I must appear very
smooth and glib and sexual.
223
00:17:50,003 --> 00:17:54,342
But since I've been married, this is
the very first time I've done this.
224
00:17:54,375 --> 00:17:59,447
Ah, sure. Don't worry.
I could tell.
225
00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:02,916
Listen, would you mind if I
had a little of your breakfast?
226
00:18:02,950 --> 00:18:05,919
Sure. I'm not hungry. Thank you.
227
00:18:05,953 --> 00:18:10,491
Even when I was single, I was no
good at quick, superficial affairs.
228
00:18:10,524 --> 00:18:13,494
I always had to like the person...
What do you mean, you could tell?
229
00:18:13,527 --> 00:18:17,064
- In what way could you tell?
- What? Oh.
230
00:18:17,097 --> 00:18:19,333
Uh, well, it was
just little things,
231
00:18:19,367 --> 00:18:22,736
you know, like when you tried to take
your pants off over your shoes...
232
00:18:22,770 --> 00:18:26,574
and t... tripped and hit your
head on the coffee table.
233
00:18:26,607 --> 00:18:29,309
Just little things like that.
234
00:18:31,979 --> 00:18:35,115
It's great to be totally honest
with another person, isn't it?
235
00:18:35,148 --> 00:18:37,485
It sure is.
236
00:18:37,518 --> 00:18:40,488
Doris, I haven't been totally
honest with you. You haven't?
237
00:18:42,390 --> 00:18:45,468
I told you I was a married
man with two children.
238
00:18:45,493 --> 00:18:46,518
You're not?
239
00:18:47,961 --> 00:18:50,498
I'm a married man
with three children.
240
00:18:53,133 --> 00:18:56,470
I thought it would make me
seem less married.
241
00:18:56,504 --> 00:19:00,140
All right, I didn't think it
through, all right?
242
00:19:00,173 --> 00:19:04,111
There's been like a lead weight
inside me all morning.
243
00:19:04,144 --> 00:19:07,114
I mean,
denying little Debbie like that!
244
00:19:10,518 --> 00:19:13,721
I was under a certain stress
or I wouldn't have done it.
245
00:19:13,754 --> 00:19:17,491
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Y-You understand?
246
00:19:17,525 --> 00:19:21,462
Sure. We all do
dopey things sometimes.
247
00:19:26,434 --> 00:19:29,570
Well...
248
00:19:29,603 --> 00:19:32,406
I really should be going.
249
00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:35,476
The nuns are gonna be wondering
what happened to me.
250
00:19:39,980 --> 00:19:44,017
Nuns?
Did you say nuns?
251
00:19:44,051 --> 00:19:47,655
Yeah, somehow it just didn't seem
right to bring up last night,
252
00:19:47,688 --> 00:19:51,859
but I was on my way to retreat.
253
00:19:51,892 --> 00:19:54,027
Retreat?
Yeah.
254
00:19:54,061 --> 00:19:56,029
See, it's right near here.
255
00:19:56,063 --> 00:19:59,767
I go every year at this time when
Harry takes the kids to Bakersfield.
256
00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:02,102
What's in Bakersfield?
His mother.
257
00:20:02,135 --> 00:20:04,104
It's her birthday.
258
00:20:04,137 --> 00:20:07,908
Doesn't she mind that you don't go?
No, she hates me.
259
00:20:07,941 --> 00:20:11,679
'Cause I got pregnant.
Her son had something to do with that.
260
00:20:11,712 --> 00:20:14,748
Yeah, she blocks that
out of her mind.
261
00:20:14,782 --> 00:20:17,518
See, he was in his first
year of dental college...
262
00:20:17,551 --> 00:20:21,522
and he had to quit and take a
job selling waterless cooking.
263
00:20:21,555 --> 00:20:24,958
So now every year on her
birthday, I just go on retreat.
264
00:20:24,992 --> 00:20:26,960
To think about God?
265
00:20:26,994 --> 00:20:30,564
Well, him too, sure,
but also about myself...
266
00:20:30,598 --> 00:20:34,535
'cause, see, I got pregnant
when I was just 18,
267
00:20:34,568 --> 00:20:38,005
so I've never really
had any time to just think.
268
00:20:38,038 --> 00:20:40,808
You know, I mean, about,
269
00:20:40,841 --> 00:20:43,711
well, what I think about.
270
00:20:45,045 --> 00:20:47,948
Never mind.
I don't know what I'm trying to say.
271
00:20:47,981 --> 00:20:51,585
Sometimes I think I'm crazy.
Why?
272
00:20:51,619 --> 00:20:55,088
Oh. Well,
273
00:20:55,122 --> 00:20:57,625
okay, like, take my life.
274
00:20:57,658 --> 00:21:02,496
Now, we live in a two-bedroom
duplex in downtown Oakland,
275
00:21:02,530 --> 00:21:05,999
and we have a 1948 Studebaker,
276
00:21:06,033 --> 00:21:08,669
a blond, three-piece
dinette set,
277
00:21:08,702 --> 00:21:10,671
Motorola TV.
278
00:21:10,704 --> 00:21:13,507
We go bowling
at least once a week.
279
00:21:13,541 --> 00:21:16,610
I mean, what more
could anyone ask for?
280
00:21:16,644 --> 00:21:19,547
But sometimes...
281
00:21:19,580 --> 00:21:21,682
things get me down.
282
00:21:21,715 --> 00:21:24,785
Oh, I don't know.
It's dumb.
283
00:21:27,120 --> 00:21:30,591
I don't think it's dumb.
284
00:21:30,624 --> 00:21:32,960
You don't?
No.
285
00:21:35,729 --> 00:21:40,200
You know, I can really
talk to you.
286
00:21:40,233 --> 00:21:42,202
It's just amazing.
287
00:21:42,235 --> 00:21:46,640
I find myself saying things to you
that I didn't even know I thought.
288
00:21:46,674 --> 00:21:49,710
I noticed that yesterday right
after we met in the restaurant.
289
00:21:49,743 --> 00:21:52,279
We had instant rapport.
Did you notice that too?
290
00:21:52,312 --> 00:21:56,550
No, but I know
we really hit it off.
291
00:21:56,584 --> 00:22:00,053
See, Harry's not much
of a talker, you know.
292
00:22:00,087 --> 00:22:03,523
How 'bout your wife?
Do you two get to talk a lot?
293
00:22:06,193 --> 00:22:09,062
Uh... Uh, Doris,
it's only natural...
294
00:22:09,096 --> 00:22:12,132
that we should be curious about
each other's husband and wife,
295
00:22:12,165 --> 00:22:15,302
but-but rather than dwelling on it
and letting it spoil everything,
296
00:22:15,335 --> 00:22:17,738
why... why don't we...
Why don't we do this?
297
00:22:17,771 --> 00:22:19,640
I'll tell you two stories
about my wife...
298
00:22:19,673 --> 00:22:22,943
One showing the worst side of her,
the other showing the best side of her.
299
00:22:22,976 --> 00:22:25,779
You do the same thing about your
husband, and then let's forget it.
300
00:22:25,813 --> 00:22:27,781
Okay.
I'll go first.
301
00:22:27,815 --> 00:22:29,817
I'll start with the worst side.
Okay.
302
00:22:29,850 --> 00:22:34,154
Phyllis knows about us. Oh,
you said that before. How could she know?
303
00:22:34,187 --> 00:22:37,825
She's got this thing in her head!
Like a plate?
304
00:22:37,858 --> 00:22:42,696
A plate?
Oh, my uncle has one of those.
305
00:22:42,730 --> 00:22:44,598
He was wounded in the war,
306
00:22:44,632 --> 00:22:47,701
and they put this steel
plate in his head.
307
00:22:47,735 --> 00:22:51,772
Now he says he can always
tell when it's going to rain.
308
00:22:54,708 --> 00:22:57,310
I'm in big trouble, Doris.
Why?
309
00:22:57,344 --> 00:23:00,781
Because I find everything you
say absolutely fascinating.
310
00:23:00,814 --> 00:23:04,752
Come on! Tell me about
your wife's steel plate.
311
00:23:04,785 --> 00:23:09,222
No, no, it's not a plate.
It's more like a bell. A bell.
312
00:23:09,256 --> 00:23:10,585
I could be a million miles away.
313
00:23:10,610 --> 00:23:12,960
If I look at another woman,
it goes off like an alarm.
314
00:23:12,993 --> 00:23:14,962
Oh, I see.
315
00:23:14,995 --> 00:23:19,667
I just know that last night at exactly
1:22 a.m., she sat bolt upright in bed...
316
00:23:19,700 --> 00:23:23,737
with her head going ding, ding,
ding, ding, ding, ding, ding!
317
00:23:23,771 --> 00:23:25,405
How do you know it was 1:22?
318
00:23:25,438 --> 00:23:28,742
Because I have peripheral vision,
and I noticed my watch said 4:47.
319
00:23:28,776 --> 00:23:31,679
Oh.
320
00:23:31,712 --> 00:23:35,749
Well, okay, now, tell me,
um, something nice about her.
321
00:23:39,386 --> 00:23:42,389
Well... she made me
believe in myself.
322
00:23:44,291 --> 00:23:48,428
It's probably hard for you to imagine this,
but there was a time I was very insecure.
323
00:23:48,461 --> 00:23:52,933
How did she do that... make
you believe in yourself?
324
00:23:52,966 --> 00:23:54,935
She married me.
325
00:23:54,968 --> 00:23:58,138
Oh. Yes, well, that was
very nice of her.
326
00:23:58,171 --> 00:24:01,709
Oh, no, no, no. I meant bolstering
you up and all, you know?
327
00:24:01,742 --> 00:24:05,012
Okay, your turn.
Tell me the worst story first.
328
00:24:05,045 --> 00:24:06,914
Okay. Um...
329
00:24:09,783 --> 00:24:12,052
Ooh, this is hard.
To pick one?
330
00:24:12,085 --> 00:24:14,154
No, to think of one.
331
00:24:14,187 --> 00:24:17,791
See, Harry's the salt of the earth.
Everybody says so.
332
00:24:17,825 --> 00:24:20,861
Look, you owe me
at least one rotten story.
333
00:24:20,894 --> 00:24:22,730
Oh, okay.
334
00:24:22,763 --> 00:24:26,199
Uh...
335
00:24:26,233 --> 00:24:30,370
Well, I don't know.
This isn't really rotten, but... Okay?
336
00:24:30,403 --> 00:24:32,439
All right.
337
00:24:32,472 --> 00:24:35,876
Now, this was on
our fourth anniversary.
338
00:24:35,909 --> 00:24:38,946
We decided that we'd have some
people over to help celebrate.
339
00:24:38,979 --> 00:24:41,982
So Harry doesn't usually drink,
340
00:24:42,015 --> 00:24:46,053
but that night
he had three beers.
341
00:24:46,086 --> 00:24:48,455
It was after
the Gillette fights.
342
00:24:50,824 --> 00:24:54,127
Well, I just overheard him
talking to some of the guys,
343
00:24:54,161 --> 00:24:56,263
and he said that his...
344
00:24:56,296 --> 00:24:59,767
His time in the army were
the best years of his life.
345
00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:04,805
What's wrong with that? A lot of
guys feel that way about the service.
346
00:25:04,838 --> 00:25:06,774
Harry was in the army
for four years,
347
00:25:06,807 --> 00:25:10,110
and three of 'em were spent
in a Japanese prison camp!
348
00:25:13,847 --> 00:25:16,984
Okay. Now do you want to hear the
story about the good side of him?
349
00:25:17,017 --> 00:25:19,319
Not particularly.
Aw, come on. You have to.
350
00:25:19,352 --> 00:25:22,790
I don't want you to get the wrong
impression of him. Okay, if you insist.
351
00:25:22,823 --> 00:25:25,425
I do. Okay.
352
00:25:25,458 --> 00:25:28,896
Harry's this, like, big,
heavyset kind of guy, you know...
353
00:25:28,929 --> 00:25:31,531
I really wish you hadn't
told me that. Why?
354
00:25:31,564 --> 00:25:35,168
Oh! No, don't worry.
He's gentle as a puppy.
355
00:25:35,202 --> 00:25:38,405
Anyway, uh, last year
he got this great idea...
356
00:25:38,438 --> 00:25:40,974
that he'd take Tony out
to fly a kite.
357
00:25:41,008 --> 00:25:42,976
See, Tony's our four-year-old.
358
00:25:43,010 --> 00:25:46,780
And so they went out to the park to
fly a kite, but there wasn't any wind.
359
00:25:46,814 --> 00:25:50,818
So it's about an hour later, and I was
on my way home from the laundromat.
360
00:25:50,851 --> 00:25:52,820
I passed by...
361
00:25:52,853 --> 00:25:56,056
and I see Tony
sound asleep in the car.
362
00:25:56,089 --> 00:25:58,158
I look out in the park.
363
00:25:58,191 --> 00:26:01,028
There's Harry all alone
in the park,
364
00:26:01,061 --> 00:26:03,463
all red in the face
and out of breath,
365
00:26:03,496 --> 00:26:06,099
and he's just pounding
up and down...
366
00:26:06,133 --> 00:26:10,871
with this huge kite dragging
on the ground behind him.
367
00:26:12,572 --> 00:26:16,276
Oh, I don't know.
It just really got to me.
368
00:26:16,309 --> 00:26:18,578
Yeah, I know.
369
00:26:18,611 --> 00:26:21,915
Helen has some nice qualities too.
Who's Helen?
370
00:26:21,949 --> 00:26:23,984
My wife.
371
00:26:24,017 --> 00:26:26,553
You said her name was Phyllis.
372
00:26:29,089 --> 00:26:32,292
No, I lied.
373
00:26:32,325 --> 00:26:35,528
Phyllis! Helen!
What's the difference? I'm married!
374
00:26:35,562 --> 00:26:38,866
Look, I was nervous. I was afraid
you'd try to look me up or something.
375
00:26:38,899 --> 00:26:42,269
I didn't want to
leave any clues.
376
00:26:42,302 --> 00:26:46,173
Is your name really George?
Well, of course it is.
377
00:26:46,206 --> 00:26:49,409
You think I'd lie
about my own name?
378
00:26:49,442 --> 00:26:52,980
Yes.
That would be crazy!
379
00:26:54,014 --> 00:26:57,017
Well, you're pretty crazy.
380
00:27:02,022 --> 00:27:03,823
It's funny, isn't it?
381
00:27:05,325 --> 00:27:08,962
Here we are in a hotel room,
gazing into each other's eyes.
382
00:27:08,996 --> 00:27:13,934
We're both married,
and we have six kids between us.
383
00:27:13,967 --> 00:27:16,836
Do you have any pictures?
384
00:27:18,238 --> 00:27:20,373
What?
Pictures of your kids.
385
00:27:20,407 --> 00:27:23,310
Yeah, but I don't think
this is the time or place.
386
00:27:23,343 --> 00:27:27,147
Come on, come on.
If you show me yours, I'll show you mine.
387
00:27:27,180 --> 00:27:31,184
I keep mine in this little
folder we got free from Kodak.
388
00:27:31,218 --> 00:27:34,387
Where's yours?
You have to take the whole wallet.
389
00:27:41,194 --> 00:27:43,296
Ahh!
390
00:27:43,330 --> 00:27:45,966
Ohh.
391
00:27:45,999 --> 00:27:49,169
Is that the oldest one with
the glasses and baggy tights?
392
00:27:49,202 --> 00:27:52,239
Yeah, that's Michael.
Funny-looking kid, isn't he?
393
00:27:52,272 --> 00:27:55,542
No. What does he
wanna be, Superman?
394
00:27:55,575 --> 00:27:57,911
No, Peter Pan.
395
00:27:57,945 --> 00:27:59,646
I'm kinda worried about him.
396
00:28:02,049 --> 00:28:04,617
Why is this one's face
all scrunched up?
397
00:28:04,651 --> 00:28:07,187
That's Paul.
That was taken on a roller coaster.
398
00:28:07,220 --> 00:28:09,356
Isn't it natural looking?
399
00:28:09,389 --> 00:28:12,625
Right after that he threw up.
400
00:28:12,659 --> 00:28:15,662
Yeah, he's really, um...
401
00:28:15,695 --> 00:28:18,198
I guess he... I guess
he takes after Harry.
402
00:28:18,231 --> 00:28:20,167
No, both of us, really.
403
00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:24,671
What's your little girl's name?
Debbie.
404
00:28:24,704 --> 00:28:27,440
That was on her second birthday. We were
trying to get her to blow out the candles.
405
00:28:27,474 --> 00:28:32,312
She's got her hand in the cake.
Neat is not her strong suit.
406
00:28:34,247 --> 00:28:36,316
Ohh.
407
00:28:36,349 --> 00:28:39,052
You have great-looking
kids, George.
408
00:28:39,086 --> 00:28:41,121
Thank you.
So do you.
409
00:28:41,154 --> 00:28:43,056
Thank you.
410
00:29:24,531 --> 00:29:28,535
Okay, but this is the last time.
411
00:29:37,077 --> 00:29:39,179
♪ Hello
412
00:29:39,212 --> 00:29:43,183
♪ The seasons
have come and gone ♪
413
00:29:43,216 --> 00:29:47,154
♪ And the world
goes tumbling on ♪
414
00:29:47,187 --> 00:29:53,060
♪ Look what's happened
since I last saw your smile ♪
415
00:29:53,093 --> 00:29:55,162
♪ Hello
416
00:29:55,195 --> 00:29:59,132
♪ Love's invited us back here ♪
417
00:29:59,166 --> 00:30:03,170
♪ The same as she did
last year ♪
418
00:30:03,203 --> 00:30:05,305
♪ To come and spend
419
00:30:05,338 --> 00:30:08,141
♪ A while
420
00:30:08,175 --> 00:30:13,180
♪ And the last time I felt like this ♪
♪ The very last time
421
00:30:13,213 --> 00:30:15,415
♪ I was falling in love
422
00:30:15,448 --> 00:30:17,717
♪ I was falling
423
00:30:17,750 --> 00:30:20,153
♪ Falling and feeling
424
00:30:20,187 --> 00:30:23,556
♪ I'd never fall in love again ♪
425
00:30:23,590 --> 00:30:28,328
♪ Yes, the last time I felt like this ♪
♪ The very last time
426
00:30:28,361 --> 00:30:30,663
♪ Was long before I knew
427
00:30:30,697 --> 00:30:33,566
♪ What I'm feeling
428
00:30:33,600 --> 00:30:39,272
♪ What I'm feeling now
with you ♪
429
00:30:40,773 --> 00:30:43,210
Be sure and tell me
before you come out.
430
00:30:43,243 --> 00:30:45,145
Right now.
Wait a minute. Not yet.
431
00:30:47,180 --> 00:30:51,151
I'm getting bored.
Okay, come on out.
432
00:30:51,184 --> 00:30:54,821
♪ If I knew you were coming
I'd have baked a cake ♪
433
00:30:54,854 --> 00:30:57,390
♪ Baked a cake
Baked a cake ♪
434
00:30:57,424 --> 00:31:00,127
♪ If I knew you were coming
I'd have baked a cake ♪
435
00:31:00,160 --> 00:31:02,462
♪ How d'you do, how d'you do,
how d'you do ♪
436
00:31:02,495 --> 00:31:05,565
That's wonderful.
437
00:31:05,598 --> 00:31:08,401
Happy anniversary, darling.
438
00:31:15,808 --> 00:31:19,379
Blow out the candles and make a wish.
All right.
439
00:31:21,614 --> 00:31:25,485
What'd you wish?
I only have one wish.
440
00:31:25,518 --> 00:31:28,521
What? That you keep on
showing up here every year.
441
00:31:31,358 --> 00:31:33,693
What?
You hate my hair, don't you?
442
00:31:33,726 --> 00:31:36,229
I told you, I love your hair.
Really?
443
00:31:36,263 --> 00:31:41,234
I don't know. Next time I'm going
to go into the city to get it done.
444
00:31:41,268 --> 00:31:44,604
How are the suburbs?
Oh, muddy, mostly.
445
00:31:44,637 --> 00:31:48,475
Right now everyone's
very excited.
446
00:31:48,508 --> 00:31:52,279
Next week they're gonna
connect the sewers.
447
00:31:56,649 --> 00:32:01,654
It's not exactly the life of Scott
and Zelda, but we're surviving.
448
00:32:01,688 --> 00:32:04,224
Uh, let's go over there.
449
00:32:04,257 --> 00:32:07,460
Scott and Zelda, huh?
You started reading.
450
00:32:07,494 --> 00:32:09,662
Oh, you don't know
the half of it.
451
00:32:09,696 --> 00:32:12,599
I've joined the Book of the Month Club.
Good for you!
452
00:32:12,632 --> 00:32:16,236
Sometimes I even take
the alternate selections.
453
00:32:16,269 --> 00:32:19,739
Thank you.
454
00:32:19,772 --> 00:32:21,908
Good evening,
Mr. Peters, ma'am.
455
00:32:21,941 --> 00:32:23,943
Hello, Mr. Chalmers.
Nice to see you again.
456
00:32:23,976 --> 00:32:25,878
Good to be back.
457
00:32:31,318 --> 00:32:34,254
Well, how 'bout you?
Are you still in New Jersey?
458
00:32:34,287 --> 00:32:36,256
No. We moved to Connecticut.
Really?
459
00:32:36,289 --> 00:32:39,926
We bought a barn and converted it.
Oh, what's it like?
460
00:32:39,959 --> 00:32:42,729
Drafty.
461
00:32:42,762 --> 00:32:45,798
Helen's got
the decorating bug now.
462
00:32:45,832 --> 00:32:48,335
I have this mental picture
of her at my funeral,
463
00:32:48,368 --> 00:32:51,604
as they're closing the lid to my coffin,
throwing in two fabric swatches...
464
00:32:51,638 --> 00:32:56,443
and yelling out,
"Which one do you like?"
465
00:32:56,476 --> 00:33:00,513
That's the bad story about her.
What else is new?
466
00:33:00,547 --> 00:33:02,515
Oh, how's Michael?
467
00:33:02,549 --> 00:33:05,852
Crazy as ever.
468
00:33:05,885 --> 00:33:09,622
He had this homework assignment to write
about what he did on his summer vacation.
469
00:33:09,656 --> 00:33:12,459
Trouble was,
he wrote what he actually did. What?
470
00:33:12,492 --> 00:33:14,627
Tried to get laid.
471
00:33:14,661 --> 00:33:18,865
He wrote in great comic detail
about his unfortunate tendency...
472
00:33:18,898 --> 00:33:23,436
to get an erection on all
forms of public transportation.
473
00:33:23,470 --> 00:33:26,439
The school almost suspended him.
474
00:33:26,473 --> 00:33:28,641
You're crazy about him,
aren't you?
475
00:33:28,675 --> 00:33:32,345
He's a very weird kid, Doris.
476
00:33:32,379 --> 00:33:36,349
You know what?
I think that one really gets to you.
477
00:33:36,383 --> 00:33:39,218
Come on, now.
Admit it.
478
00:33:41,821 --> 00:33:44,757
All right, I admit it.
He's a nice kid.
479
00:33:44,791 --> 00:33:47,694
There.
Was that so hard?
480
00:33:52,765 --> 00:33:55,735
Mmm.
What was that for?
481
00:33:58,371 --> 00:34:01,007
For everything.
482
00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:04,344
For this.
483
00:34:04,377 --> 00:34:07,380
For one beautiful weekend
every year with no cares,
484
00:34:07,414 --> 00:34:09,716
no ties,
485
00:34:09,749 --> 00:34:11,718
no responsibilities.
486
00:34:17,490 --> 00:34:19,426
Thank you, Doris.
487
00:34:37,844 --> 00:34:39,779
Doris.
488
00:34:45,518 --> 00:34:49,356
Gee, and I just got
all dressed up.
489
00:35:05,972 --> 00:35:07,974
Mmm.
490
00:35:10,943 --> 00:35:15,515
Oh, somebody has
a rotten sense of timing.
491
00:35:18,017 --> 00:35:19,919
Damn.
492
00:35:25,558 --> 00:35:27,460
Hello?
493
00:35:27,494 --> 00:35:30,563
Yes, this is Daddy!
494
00:35:30,597 --> 00:35:33,032
Is there anything wrong?
495
00:35:33,065 --> 00:35:35,034
Funny?
496
00:35:35,067 --> 00:35:39,138
That's probably because
Daddy was just, uh, uh...
497
00:35:39,171 --> 00:35:43,109
I have a frog
in my throat, sweetheart.
498
00:35:43,142 --> 00:35:45,578
Uh... wh...
499
00:35:45,612 --> 00:35:47,714
Oh, it came out, huh?
500
00:35:49,081 --> 00:35:53,920
Ohh. Well, of course
the tooth fairy will come.
501
00:35:55,121 --> 00:35:57,857
Well, tonight, of course.
502
00:35:57,890 --> 00:36:00,993
Well, sweetheart,
I wish Daddy could find it for you,
503
00:36:01,027 --> 00:36:04,531
but I'm, uh...
I'm working.
504
00:36:06,466 --> 00:36:09,436
Honey, does Mommy
know you called?
505
00:36:10,737 --> 00:36:14,040
Oh, I'll try.
Yes, I love you too, sweetheart.
506
00:36:14,073 --> 00:36:16,443
Yes, I do!
507
00:36:16,476 --> 00:36:18,478
Very much! Ye...
508
00:36:18,511 --> 00:36:20,880
Okay.
509
00:36:23,583 --> 00:36:25,885
Okay, bye.
510
00:36:25,918 --> 00:36:29,422
Oh, God, I feel so guilty!
511
00:36:29,456 --> 00:36:31,658
Was that Debbie?
512
00:36:31,691 --> 00:36:34,026
Her tooth came out,
and she can't find it,
513
00:36:34,060 --> 00:36:36,596
and she's afraid the
tooth fairy won't know.
514
00:36:36,629 --> 00:36:40,633
Oh, God, that thin, reedy little voice!
You know what that does to me?
515
00:36:40,667 --> 00:36:44,571
Sure, that cheerful look on your
face doesn't fool me for a minute.
516
00:36:44,604 --> 00:36:46,873
You think this is funny?
517
00:36:46,906 --> 00:36:49,742
Doris, my little girl, said,
"I love you, Daddy,"
518
00:36:49,776 --> 00:36:53,112
and I answered her in a voice
still hoarse with passion.
519
00:36:53,145 --> 00:36:56,516
I get the picture, George.
520
00:36:56,549 --> 00:36:59,085
Don't you ever feel guilty?
521
00:36:59,118 --> 00:37:01,721
Sometimes.
Well, you never say anything.
522
00:37:01,754 --> 00:37:05,692
Well, I just handle it
in a different way. How?
523
00:37:05,725 --> 00:37:07,694
Privately.
524
00:37:07,727 --> 00:37:10,963
Boy, something like this
really brings you up short.
525
00:37:10,997 --> 00:37:14,834
I mean, look at this.
Look at me. Look.
526
00:37:14,867 --> 00:37:18,871
I tell you, Doris, when she started
talking about the tooth fairy,
527
00:37:18,905 --> 00:37:22,041
that affected me
in a very profound manner.
528
00:37:22,074 --> 00:37:26,479
On top of which,
I have indigestion you won't believe.
529
00:37:26,513 --> 00:37:28,715
It hit me that hard, you know?
530
00:37:28,748 --> 00:37:32,251
I have three children too,
you know, George?
531
00:37:32,284 --> 00:37:34,253
What do you want me to do?
532
00:37:34,286 --> 00:37:37,690
It would be terrific if you
stopped talking about it.
533
00:37:37,724 --> 00:37:41,160
It is only making you feel worse.
I can't feel worse!
534
00:37:41,193 --> 00:37:43,763
That pure little voice...
No, you're right. Oh!
535
00:37:43,796 --> 00:37:46,833
No, forget it.
Change the subject.
536
00:37:46,866 --> 00:37:50,236
So t-tell me about the
good story about Harry.
537
00:37:50,269 --> 00:37:52,171
He went bankrupt.
538
00:37:53,740 --> 00:37:57,710
How can you go bankrupt
selling TV sets?
539
00:37:57,744 --> 00:38:00,980
Harry has one little failing
as a salesman.
540
00:38:01,013 --> 00:38:05,885
It's a compulsion to talk people out of
things that they can't really afford.
541
00:38:05,918 --> 00:38:08,187
He kind of lacks
the killer instinct.
542
00:38:08,220 --> 00:38:13,125
Actually, it's one of the things
about him that I like best.
543
00:38:13,159 --> 00:38:15,562
Oh, listen. Something
just occurred to me.
544
00:38:15,595 --> 00:38:19,098
Instead of my leaving at my usual time,
would you mind if I left a little earlier?
545
00:38:19,131 --> 00:38:22,935
When did you have in mind?
There's a plane in half an hour.
546
00:38:25,304 --> 00:38:29,308
You want to leave
23 hours early?
547
00:38:29,341 --> 00:38:32,579
There's a connecting flight from
San Francisco in 90 minutes.
548
00:38:32,612 --> 00:38:34,581
I know how you feel.
Really, I do.
549
00:38:34,614 --> 00:38:38,284
I wouldn't suggest it if you weren't
a mother and didn't understand.
550
00:38:38,317 --> 00:38:41,220
It wouldn't even occur to me
if-if this crisis hadn't come up.
551
00:38:41,253 --> 00:38:44,724
I don't mean
just the tooth fairy.
552
00:38:44,757 --> 00:38:47,694
She could have swallowed
the tooth.
553
00:38:47,727 --> 00:38:51,764
It could be lodged
God knows where.
554
00:38:51,798 --> 00:38:55,802
Uh... have you seen
my hairbrush?
555
00:38:55,835 --> 00:38:58,137
Doris, I'm probably
doing you a big favor.
556
00:38:58,170 --> 00:39:02,274
If I did stay, I probably wouldn't be very
good company. I'm thinking of you too.
557
00:39:02,308 --> 00:39:05,845
With the way I'm feeling...
You probably understand.
558
00:39:20,660 --> 00:39:23,229
You feel somewhat
rejected, right?
559
00:39:25,632 --> 00:39:28,768
I understand.
Really, I do.
560
00:39:28,801 --> 00:39:33,806
I just want you to know that my leaving
has nothing to do with you and me.
561
00:39:33,840 --> 00:39:37,710
This is an emergency!
I have a sick child at home!
562
00:39:37,744 --> 00:39:39,946
Will you stop!
563
00:39:39,979 --> 00:39:44,851
This has nothing to do with
the goddamn tooth fairy!
564
00:39:44,884 --> 00:39:46,853
You are simply feeling guilty,
565
00:39:46,886 --> 00:39:50,890
and you wanna get
as far from me as possible.
566
00:39:50,923 --> 00:39:53,826
All right!
I feel guilty, yes!
567
00:39:53,860 --> 00:39:55,828
Is that so strange?
568
00:39:55,862 --> 00:39:57,730
Doris, we're cheating.
569
00:39:57,764 --> 00:40:00,332
Once a year
we lie to our families...
570
00:40:00,366 --> 00:40:02,902
and sneak off to a hotel
in California...
571
00:40:02,935 --> 00:40:05,337
and commit adultery!
572
00:40:05,371 --> 00:40:08,775
Not that I want to
stop doing it.
573
00:40:08,808 --> 00:40:12,812
But yes, I feel guilty.
I admit it.
574
00:40:12,845 --> 00:40:14,814
You admit it?
575
00:40:14,847 --> 00:40:17,116
You take out ads.
576
00:40:17,149 --> 00:40:20,186
I'll bet you stop strangers
on the street!
577
00:40:20,219 --> 00:40:24,156
Y-You probably have
a scarlet "A" embroidered...
578
00:40:24,190 --> 00:40:26,225
on your jockey shorts.
579
00:40:26,258 --> 00:40:28,861
You go around
like an open nerve saying,
580
00:40:28,895 --> 00:40:31,864
"Yes, I'm cheating,
but look how guilty I feel,
581
00:40:31,898 --> 00:40:34,867
so I must really be
a nice guy."
582
00:40:34,901 --> 00:40:39,706
Then... Then to top it all,
you have the incredible arrogance...
583
00:40:39,739 --> 00:40:42,909
of thinking you're the only person
in the world with a conscience.
584
00:40:42,942 --> 00:40:45,344
Well, that doesn't make you
a nice guy, George!
585
00:40:45,377 --> 00:40:49,215
You know what that makes you?
A horse's ass!
586
00:40:59,959 --> 00:41:04,731
I liked you a lot better before you
joined the Book of the Month Club.
587
00:41:04,764 --> 00:41:06,799
Yes, I'll just bet you did.
588
00:41:06,833 --> 00:41:10,870
- Look, can we discuss this in the car?
- The car?
589
00:41:10,903 --> 00:41:14,140
I really hate to ask you, Doris,
but I need a lift to the airport.
590
00:41:41,968 --> 00:41:46,138
Cheer up, Doris. It's not the end of the
world. I'm not leaving you permanently.
591
00:41:46,172 --> 00:41:48,841
I'll see you next year.
592
00:41:48,875 --> 00:41:50,843
No, I don't think you will.
593
00:41:50,877 --> 00:41:53,813
Just because I have to
leave early one year,
594
00:41:53,846 --> 00:41:56,849
you're willing to throw away
a lifetime of weekends?
595
00:41:56,883 --> 00:41:58,851
How can you be so casual?
596
00:41:58,885 --> 00:42:02,388
I don't see any point in going on.
Don't do that to me.
597
00:42:02,421 --> 00:42:05,057
Don't try to manipulate me.
I get enough of that at home.
598
00:42:05,091 --> 00:42:09,862
What's the sense of meeting in guilt and
remorse, huh? What joy is there in that?
599
00:42:09,896 --> 00:42:14,967
Look, I have a commitment there.
And you have none here?
600
00:42:15,001 --> 00:42:18,304
Here? I thought our only commitment
here was to show up every year.
601
00:42:18,337 --> 00:42:20,306
Nice and tidy, huh?
602
00:42:20,339 --> 00:42:25,211
Just two friendly sex partners that
meet every year and touch and let go.
603
00:42:25,244 --> 00:42:28,214
Is that it?
So maybe I was kidding myself.
604
00:42:28,247 --> 00:42:31,150
- I'm human.
- So am I.
605
00:42:31,183 --> 00:42:34,821
But you're different.
You're stronger.
606
00:42:34,854 --> 00:42:36,956
Y-You seem able
to take care of yourself.
607
00:42:36,989 --> 00:42:39,258
Listen, I'm gonna
tell you something.
608
00:42:39,291 --> 00:42:43,495
In the past year, I've picked up
the phone to call you 10 times.
609
00:42:43,529 --> 00:42:45,898
I couldn't stop
thinking about you.
610
00:42:45,932 --> 00:42:50,336
You kept slipping over into my real
life, and it scared the hell out of me.
611
00:42:50,369 --> 00:42:53,439
More to the point,
I felt guilty.
612
00:42:53,472 --> 00:42:56,508
So I decided that we shouldn't
see each other anymore.
613
00:42:56,542 --> 00:43:00,279
I wasn't even going to come, but I thought
at least I owed you an explanation,
614
00:43:00,312 --> 00:43:02,581
so I came.
615
00:43:02,614 --> 00:43:06,052
When you walked through the door,
I knew I couldn't go through with it,
616
00:43:06,085 --> 00:43:08,420
that no matter what the price,
617
00:43:08,454 --> 00:43:10,389
I was willing to pay it.
618
00:43:10,422 --> 00:43:14,360
You better get on your plane.
619
00:44:08,014 --> 00:44:11,150
I love you, Doris.
I'm an idiot.
620
00:44:11,183 --> 00:44:13,986
I suspect I'm deeply
neurotic and I'm no bargain,
621
00:44:14,020 --> 00:44:16,155
but I do love you.
622
00:44:16,188 --> 00:44:18,624
Will you let me stay?
623
00:44:21,493 --> 00:44:26,632
♪ Oh, the last time
I felt like this ♪
624
00:44:26,665 --> 00:44:31,137
♪ I was falling in love
625
00:44:31,170 --> 00:44:33,505
♪ Falling and feeling
626
00:44:33,539 --> 00:44:36,976
♪ I'd never fall in love again ♪
627
00:44:37,009 --> 00:44:41,981
♪ Yes, the last time
I felt like this ♪
628
00:44:42,014 --> 00:44:44,984
♪ Was long before I knew
629
00:44:45,017 --> 00:44:48,654
♪ What I'm feeling now
630
00:44:48,687 --> 00:44:52,424
♪ With you
631
00:44:52,458 --> 00:44:58,030
♪ What I'm feeling now
632
00:44:58,064 --> 00:45:00,933
♪ With
633
00:45:00,967 --> 00:45:06,005
♪ You ♪
634
00:45:14,180 --> 00:45:18,617
No, of course I
haven't left Helen.
635
00:45:18,650 --> 00:45:21,120
I'm on a business trip.
636
00:45:21,153 --> 00:45:23,389
I come up here every year.
637
00:45:25,657 --> 00:45:29,261
I am not running away
from the problem.
638
00:45:29,295 --> 00:45:31,730
Of course I know it's serious.
639
00:45:31,763 --> 00:45:35,667
I still don't think that's any reason
to call me long distance and try...
640
00:45:37,469 --> 00:45:40,439
Yes, I saw a doctor.
641
00:45:40,472 --> 00:45:43,175
He said... He said
it's no big deal.
642
00:45:43,209 --> 00:45:48,747
He said every man has this problem
at one time or another and...
643
00:45:48,780 --> 00:45:52,551
Look, if we have to discuss this, you might
as well learn to pronounce it correctly.
644
00:45:52,584 --> 00:45:56,288
It's impotence, not im-po-tence.
645
00:46:00,759 --> 00:46:05,998
It is not something
you have to nip in the bud!
646
00:46:06,032 --> 00:46:08,667
Yes, of... of course I'm gonna
try to do something about it.
647
00:46:08,700 --> 00:46:12,771
Would you let me handle this in my own way?
Would you pl... May I...
648
00:46:12,804 --> 00:46:15,507
I... I'm gonna be fine,
all right?
649
00:46:15,541 --> 00:46:19,345
I'm gonna... I'm gonna be okay.
I can feel it. I know it.
650
00:46:21,447 --> 00:46:23,682
I'm seeing someone out here
who's an expert.
651
00:46:33,825 --> 00:46:37,029
I'm gonna hang up now!
652
00:46:37,063 --> 00:46:38,764
Good-bye, Mother!
653
00:46:43,402 --> 00:46:46,004
Hello, Mr. Chalmers.
Afternoon, ma'am.
654
00:46:58,684 --> 00:47:00,752
George?
655
00:47:00,786 --> 00:47:02,721
Be right out, darling.
656
00:47:42,761 --> 00:47:45,164
How are you, lover?
657
00:47:53,872 --> 00:47:55,674
Guess what.
658
00:47:58,244 --> 00:48:00,379
Oh, my God!
659
00:48:04,650 --> 00:48:07,353
What did you do to yourself?
660
00:48:07,386 --> 00:48:09,555
Well, I can't take
all the credit.
661
00:48:09,588 --> 00:48:12,624
It was sort of a mutual effort.
662
00:48:15,361 --> 00:48:18,430
George, when you haven't seen
an old friend in a whole year,
663
00:48:18,464 --> 00:48:22,234
isn't it customary to give
'em a kiss hello? What?
664
00:48:22,268 --> 00:48:24,203
A kiss?
665
00:48:25,471 --> 00:48:28,474
Kiss?
666
00:48:28,507 --> 00:48:31,143
Oh, yeah. Oh, sorry.
667
00:48:31,177 --> 00:48:33,545
Oh. Ohh.
668
00:48:35,614 --> 00:48:37,549
You okay, pal?
Oh, I'm fine.
669
00:48:37,583 --> 00:48:41,620
I'm fine. I'm just a little surprised.
You're surprised.
670
00:48:41,653 --> 00:48:44,856
I insisted upon visiting
the dead rabbit's grave.
671
00:48:49,295 --> 00:48:53,599
George, how come you're wearing your
robe and pajamas in the afternoon?
672
00:48:56,702 --> 00:48:59,871
I'm rehearsing
a Noel Coward play.
673
00:49:03,542 --> 00:49:06,745
Is there something on your mind?
674
00:49:06,778 --> 00:49:09,681
Uh, no, not anymore.
No.
675
00:49:13,252 --> 00:49:15,587
You must be
eight months pregnant.
676
00:49:15,621 --> 00:49:17,789
Exactly.
677
00:49:17,823 --> 00:49:20,559
Oh, come on!
It's not all that tragic.
678
00:49:20,592 --> 00:49:25,163
We can find some other way to communicate.
Great. Great.
679
00:49:26,632 --> 00:49:28,667
You got any ideas?
680
00:49:28,700 --> 00:49:31,603
Is there something else
bothering you?
681
00:49:31,637 --> 00:49:34,840
No. Mm-mmm. No.
682
00:49:36,908 --> 00:49:40,646
Well, you know, every year it
is always a little awkward...
683
00:49:40,679 --> 00:49:42,648
when we first meet.
684
00:49:42,681 --> 00:49:47,653
We manage to take care of that with a lot
of heavy breathing between the sheets.
685
00:49:47,686 --> 00:49:49,721
Uh, Doris, uh...
686
00:49:49,755 --> 00:49:52,791
If we're not gonna do it,
do you mind if we don't talk about it?
687
00:49:52,824 --> 00:49:56,295
No, I just meant maybe we need
something else to help break the ice.
688
00:49:56,328 --> 00:49:59,665
Well, I'm wide open to suggestions.
Okay.
689
00:49:59,698 --> 00:50:01,733
How 'bout this?
690
00:50:01,767 --> 00:50:05,704
How about if, uh, if I tell you some
deep, dark secret about myself...
691
00:50:05,737 --> 00:50:07,773
that I've never
told anyone before,
692
00:50:07,806 --> 00:50:11,677
and then you tell me
some secret about yourself.
693
00:50:11,710 --> 00:50:14,680
- I've had enough surprises.
- You're gonna like this one.
694
00:50:14,713 --> 00:50:17,449
I've been having
sex dreams about you.
695
00:50:17,483 --> 00:50:20,819
Oh, yeah?
Almost every night too.
696
00:50:20,852 --> 00:50:24,623
What kind of sex dreams?
That's what's so strange.
697
00:50:24,656 --> 00:50:26,725
They're always the same.
698
00:50:26,758 --> 00:50:30,929
I mean, we're making love,
but it's always underwater.
699
00:50:31,997 --> 00:50:34,733
It's in caves, grottos,
swimming pools,
700
00:50:34,766 --> 00:50:36,868
but always underwater.
701
00:50:36,902 --> 00:50:38,870
Isn't that weird?
702
00:50:38,904 --> 00:50:41,940
I think it probably has something
to do with my being pregnant.
703
00:50:41,973 --> 00:50:44,476
Always underwater, huh?
Come on.
704
00:50:44,510 --> 00:50:47,279
You tell me some deep,
dark secret about yourself.
705
00:50:47,313 --> 00:50:49,247
I can't swim.
706
00:50:51,850 --> 00:50:54,320
I'll start with
the good story about her.
707
00:50:54,353 --> 00:50:56,855
You've never done that before.
You must be mellowing.
708
00:50:56,888 --> 00:51:00,626
Doris, do you mind?
No, I don't mind.
709
00:51:00,659 --> 00:51:02,761
We went to London,
710
00:51:02,794 --> 00:51:04,963
and as we were checking
into the hotel,
711
00:51:04,996 --> 00:51:07,933
there was a man in a formal
coat and striped pants...
712
00:51:07,966 --> 00:51:11,870
standing at the front
entrance of the hotel.
713
00:51:11,903 --> 00:51:15,407
Helen handed him her suitcase
and breezed into the lobby.
714
00:51:15,441 --> 00:51:17,593
The man followed her in
and politely explained
715
00:51:17,618 --> 00:51:19,745
that not only didn't
he work at the hotel,
716
00:51:19,778 --> 00:51:23,815
but that he was the Danish ambassador.
717
00:51:23,849 --> 00:51:26,885
And without batting an
eye, Helen said,
718
00:51:26,918 --> 00:51:32,324
"Well, that's marvelous! You can tell us
the good places to eat in Copenhagen."
719
00:51:32,358 --> 00:51:34,059
And he did!
720
00:51:35,694 --> 00:51:38,597
The point is,
it doesn't bother her at all...
721
00:51:38,630 --> 00:51:42,033
if she makes
a total ass of herself.
722
00:51:42,067 --> 00:51:44,736
I really admire that.
723
00:51:47,906 --> 00:51:51,610
And what is it
that you don't admire?
724
00:51:51,643 --> 00:51:54,846
It's that damn
sense of humor of hers.
725
00:51:54,880 --> 00:51:58,450
Good. These are always
the stories I like best.
726
00:52:02,888 --> 00:52:05,391
We'd been to a party,
727
00:52:05,424 --> 00:52:08,427
and we'd had a few drinks.
728
00:52:08,460 --> 00:52:12,498
So we went to bed
and we started making love,
729
00:52:12,531 --> 00:52:15,133
and nothing happened.
730
00:52:15,166 --> 00:52:17,769
I mean, for me.
731
00:52:17,803 --> 00:52:19,771
I mean, I couldn't...
732
00:52:19,805 --> 00:52:22,808
Well, you get the picture.
Yeah. It was no big deal.
733
00:52:22,841 --> 00:52:25,511
I mean, we laughed about it.
734
00:52:25,544 --> 00:52:29,781
Then about a half hour later,
just as I was going to sleep,
735
00:52:29,815 --> 00:52:32,484
Helen turned to me
and said, "It's funny.
736
00:52:32,518 --> 00:52:37,423
When I married a C.P.A., I always thought
it would be his eyes that would go first."
737
00:52:48,567 --> 00:52:52,871
Well... she was just trying
to make you feel better.
738
00:52:52,904 --> 00:52:55,807
Well, it didn't.
Some things aren't funny.
739
00:52:58,944 --> 00:53:02,981
What I'm trying to say is the thing
that bugs me the most about Helen...
740
00:53:03,014 --> 00:53:04,883
is that she broke my pecker.
741
00:53:10,889 --> 00:53:13,825
- You're impotent.
- Slightly.
742
00:53:14,860 --> 00:53:16,962
That's five people who know.
743
00:53:16,995 --> 00:53:21,199
You, me, Helen and her mother.
Who's the fifth?
744
00:53:21,232 --> 00:53:26,738
Chet Huntley. I'm sure her mother has
given him the bulletin for the 6:00 news.
745
00:53:26,772 --> 00:53:29,875
Honey, when did this happen?
Happen?
746
00:53:29,908 --> 00:53:33,612
Doris, we're not talking
about a throughway accident.
747
00:53:33,645 --> 00:53:35,680
You don't wake up one morning and say,
748
00:53:35,705 --> 00:53:38,574
"Shoot, the family jewels
have gone on the blink."
749
00:53:39,918 --> 00:53:42,454
It's a gradual thing.
750
00:53:42,488 --> 00:53:45,156
And how's Helen reacting to it?
751
00:53:45,190 --> 00:53:47,225
We haven't discussed it much.
752
00:53:47,258 --> 00:53:51,630
I got the impression she regards it as
a lapse in one's social responsibility.
753
00:53:51,663 --> 00:53:55,767
Rather like letting your partner down
in tennis by not holding your serve.
754
00:53:57,268 --> 00:54:00,071
I'll be all right.
755
00:54:00,105 --> 00:54:04,175
The patient's not dead,
just resting.
756
00:54:04,209 --> 00:54:07,879
Doris, that statement hardly
calls for congratulations.
757
00:54:07,913 --> 00:54:10,549
No, I need help getting up.
758
00:54:27,265 --> 00:54:30,902
Is there anything I can say that
would make you feel any better?
759
00:54:30,936 --> 00:54:34,105
You can say anything you want
except, "It's all in your head."
760
00:54:34,139 --> 00:54:37,943
I'm no doctor, but I have
a great sense of direction.
761
00:54:39,545 --> 00:54:41,613
What shall we talk about?
762
00:54:41,647 --> 00:54:43,949
Anything but sex.
763
00:54:43,982 --> 00:54:46,284
How do you feel being pregnant?
764
00:54:46,317 --> 00:54:49,020
Oh, catatonic,
765
00:54:49,054 --> 00:54:51,623
incredulous,
766
00:54:51,657 --> 00:54:54,125
angry,
767
00:54:54,159 --> 00:54:57,629
pragmatic and...
768
00:54:57,663 --> 00:54:59,798
finally maternal.
769
00:54:59,831 --> 00:55:02,934
Pretty much in that order.
Your vocabulary is improving.
770
00:55:02,968 --> 00:55:04,936
Oh, you don't know.
771
00:55:04,970 --> 00:55:07,305
You happen to be speaking
to a high school graduate.
772
00:55:07,338 --> 00:55:09,541
No kidding. How come?
773
00:55:09,575 --> 00:55:13,745
I was confined to my bed for the
first three months of my pregnancy,
774
00:55:13,779 --> 00:55:17,048
so it shouldn't be a total loss,
I took a correspondence course.
775
00:55:17,082 --> 00:55:19,250
You're really something,
you know that?
776
00:55:19,284 --> 00:55:22,562
There's kind of an
ironic twist to all this.
777
00:55:22,587 --> 00:55:23,655
What?
778
00:55:23,689 --> 00:55:27,659
I didn't graduate from high school
the first time because I got pregnant.
779
00:55:27,693 --> 00:55:32,097
Now I did graduate from high
school because I got pregnant.
780
00:55:32,130 --> 00:55:36,067
I don't know. That kind of
appeals to my sense of order.
781
00:55:36,101 --> 00:55:38,236
Harry still selling real estate?
782
00:55:38,269 --> 00:55:40,606
No. Insurance.
783
00:55:40,639 --> 00:55:42,574
He likes it, though.
784
00:55:42,608 --> 00:55:46,311
Gives him a chance to look up
all his old army buddies.
785
00:55:47,913 --> 00:55:50,348
Are you comfortable
in that position?
786
00:55:50,381 --> 00:55:53,952
When you're in my condition,
you're not comfortable in any position.
787
00:55:53,985 --> 00:55:56,021
Come on.
Sit over here.
788
00:56:07,165 --> 00:56:09,635
Oh, that's good.
789
00:56:11,036 --> 00:56:13,038
Now, tell me, how are the kids?
790
00:56:13,071 --> 00:56:16,875
They're fine. Michael just got
a job with the Associated Press.
791
00:56:16,908 --> 00:56:19,611
Really? Oh, that's terrific!
Isn't that great?
792
00:56:19,645 --> 00:56:22,347
Gee, I feel so proud of him.
793
00:56:31,990 --> 00:56:34,960
What?
794
00:56:34,993 --> 00:56:38,229
George, why are you
looking at me like that?
795
00:56:40,065 --> 00:56:42,901
No reason.
796
00:56:42,934 --> 00:56:45,303
I ju... It's too...
I was won... uh...
797
00:56:45,336 --> 00:56:48,039
Fir-First I was try... Nothing!
Forget it. It's all right.
798
00:56:48,073 --> 00:56:51,877
Just, uh, tell me the... tell
me the other story about Harry.
799
00:56:51,910 --> 00:56:54,713
You know.
800
00:56:56,114 --> 00:57:00,351
George, what is it?
You're still doing it.
801
00:57:00,385 --> 00:57:03,154
It's obscene!
What is?
802
00:57:03,188 --> 00:57:07,959
When I touched you just now,
I started to get excited.
803
00:57:07,993 --> 00:57:10,428
What kind of a pervert am I?
804
00:57:10,461 --> 00:57:15,266
Staring at a 200-pound pregnant
woman, and I'm getting hot.
805
00:57:15,300 --> 00:57:17,969
Well, I'll tell you something.
806
00:57:18,003 --> 00:57:22,407
That is about the nicest thing
anybody's said to me in months.
807
00:57:22,440 --> 00:57:25,143
It's not funny, Doris.
808
00:57:25,176 --> 00:57:27,412
I really got to ya, huh, fella?
809
00:57:30,315 --> 00:57:33,318
Uh, would you excuse me?
810
00:57:55,006 --> 00:57:59,010
That's incredible!
Are you as good as I think you are?
811
00:57:59,044 --> 00:58:01,046
How good do you think I am?
Sensational.
812
00:58:01,079 --> 00:58:03,381
I'm not as good
as you think I am.
813
00:58:03,414 --> 00:58:07,385
But that piano's been sitting here for
10 years, and you've hardly touched it.
814
00:58:07,418 --> 00:58:10,455
Why tonight?
It beats a cold shower.
815
00:58:10,488 --> 00:58:14,025
You mean, you play
to relieve sexual tension?
816
00:58:14,059 --> 00:58:19,097
You don't even get this good
without a lot of practice.
817
00:58:19,130 --> 00:58:23,101
You're gonna be exhausted.
That's the idea.
818
00:58:26,905 --> 00:58:29,474
I've got a better idea.
Come on.
819
00:58:29,507 --> 00:58:33,411
Doris... Come on. It's all right.
It'll be okay.
820
00:58:33,444 --> 00:58:35,814
But... But you can't...
821
00:58:35,847 --> 00:58:39,317
Well, I know that.
Well, then how...
822
00:58:39,350 --> 00:58:43,789
Well, we can work something
out, can't we?
823
00:58:46,524 --> 00:58:48,960
Oh.
What... What is it?
824
00:58:48,994 --> 00:58:52,497
Aah!
For God's sake, what is it?
825
00:58:52,530 --> 00:58:57,268
Doris, what the hell
is the matter?
826
00:58:57,302 --> 00:59:01,439
If memory serves me correctly,
I just had a labor pain.
827
00:59:01,472 --> 00:59:05,376
You can't have. It must be indigestion.
No. There's a difference.
828
00:59:05,410 --> 00:59:08,313
Indigestion doesn't
make your eyes bug out.
829
00:59:10,248 --> 00:59:13,018
You can't be in labor.
When... When's the baby due?
830
00:59:13,051 --> 00:59:16,187
Not for another month, but...
831
00:59:16,221 --> 00:59:20,091
Oh! Oh, my God!
What have I done?
832
00:59:20,125 --> 00:59:23,361
What have you done?
I brought this on with my selfishness.
833
00:59:23,394 --> 00:59:26,397
Oh, don't be ridiculous.
You had nothing to do with it.
834
00:59:26,431 --> 00:59:30,468
Doris, don't treat me like a child.
Will you stop getting excited?
835
00:59:30,501 --> 00:59:34,305
Excited? I thought I had
problems with my sex life before.
836
00:59:34,339 --> 00:59:38,910
Can you imagine what this is gonna
do to it? Just... Will you just...
837
00:59:38,944 --> 00:59:41,412
Ohh. Oh,
I think I'd better lie down.
838
00:59:41,446 --> 00:59:44,482
What kind of a man am I? What kind
of a man would do a thing like this?
839
00:59:44,515 --> 00:59:47,552
May I say something? Doris,
I appreciate what you're trying to do,
840
00:59:47,585 --> 00:59:50,188
but nothing you can say would
make me feel any better.
841
00:59:50,221 --> 00:59:54,525
I'm not trying to make you feel any better.
I'm gonna have a baby.
842
00:59:54,559 --> 00:59:58,830
I know that.
No. I mean now.
843
00:59:58,864 --> 01:00:02,533
I have a history of short labor.
844
01:00:02,567 --> 01:00:04,870
Oh, no! No, no, no!
845
01:00:04,903 --> 01:00:08,506
No, no, no, no!
Oh, no! No!
846
01:00:15,947 --> 01:00:18,884
How do you feel?
847
01:00:21,452 --> 01:00:24,355
Like I'm gonna have a baby.
848
01:00:24,389 --> 01:00:27,868
Maybe it's a false alarm.
It's a false alarm. That's all.
849
01:00:27,893 --> 01:00:29,027
No. No.
850
01:00:29,060 --> 01:00:32,864
No. Now, just get ahold of yourself,
honey, and get on the phone...
851
01:00:32,898 --> 01:00:36,501
and find out
where the nearest hospital is.
852
01:00:36,534 --> 01:00:39,837
Hospital?
You wanna go to a hospital?
853
01:00:41,472 --> 01:00:45,443
George, like it or not,
854
01:00:45,476 --> 01:00:49,347
I am going to have a baby!
855
01:00:49,380 --> 01:00:53,084
But we're not married.
That's going to look odd.
856
01:00:55,153 --> 01:00:59,290
Will you get
on the phone, please,
857
01:00:59,324 --> 01:01:03,461
and find out
where the hospital is!
858
01:01:06,597 --> 01:01:09,500
- Well, where are you going?
- To the bathroom!
859
01:01:09,534 --> 01:01:11,469
Why?
860
01:01:12,503 --> 01:01:15,640
It's hard to explain.
861
01:01:15,673 --> 01:01:19,144
Hello. Mr. Chalmers,
this is George.
862
01:01:19,177 --> 01:01:22,247
Uh, where's
the nearest hospital?
863
01:01:22,280 --> 01:01:27,618
Uh, well, it's... it's my wife.
Something unexpected came up.
864
01:01:27,652 --> 01:01:31,556
She got pregnant,
and now she's gonna have the baby.
865
01:01:31,589 --> 01:01:34,125
That far?
866
01:01:34,159 --> 01:01:37,062
All right. Look.
Get him on the phone right away, will ya?
867
01:01:37,095 --> 01:01:40,131
Doris, are you all right?
868
01:01:40,165 --> 01:01:43,634
Doris? Doris,
answer me!
869
01:01:43,668 --> 01:01:47,705
I'm busy!
Oh, Jesus!
870
01:01:47,738 --> 01:01:52,677
Hello? Yes, yes!
Uh, hello. Uh... hello.
871
01:01:52,710 --> 01:01:58,649
Um, I'm here at the Sea Shadows
Inn just outside of Mendocino.
872
01:01:58,683 --> 01:02:04,555
I was in my room before, and I heard
this groaning from the next room.
873
01:02:04,589 --> 01:02:09,560
And, um, well,
I knock on the door,
874
01:02:09,594 --> 01:02:14,565
and I found this lady... who I've
never seen before in my life...
875
01:02:14,599 --> 01:02:17,568
Uh, in labor.
876
01:02:20,571 --> 01:02:23,474
Do you have to know that?
877
01:02:26,044 --> 01:02:30,348
George Peters.
So... George Peters. Peters.
878
01:02:32,283 --> 01:02:35,553
I don't know. I didn't time them.
Three or four minutes apart, I guess.
879
01:02:35,586 --> 01:02:37,622
I don't know.
880
01:02:37,655 --> 01:02:40,458
All right.
Uh... Uh, hold on.
881
01:02:40,491 --> 01:02:43,294
Doris? Doris,
who's your doctor?
882
01:02:43,328 --> 01:02:45,630
Joseph Harrington.
Uh, Joseph Harrington.
883
01:02:45,663 --> 01:02:48,199
In Oakland.
In, uh... in Oakland.
884
01:02:48,233 --> 01:02:53,538
534-0711.
534-0711.
885
01:02:53,571 --> 01:02:59,210
Um... Yes, uh, I-I have a car.
I'd be glad to take her over there.
886
01:02:59,244 --> 01:03:03,514
Sure. Uh, could you... could
you just answer one question?
887
01:03:03,548 --> 01:03:08,119
Would... Would erotic contact in
the last stages of pregnancy...
888
01:03:08,153 --> 01:03:11,656
bring on premature...
889
01:03:11,689 --> 01:03:15,226
No reason. Just interested.
Just, you know...
890
01:03:15,260 --> 01:03:19,264
Okay. I'll get her right
over there. Okay. Bye.
891
01:03:19,297 --> 01:03:20,615
All right. It's okay.
892
01:03:20,640 --> 01:03:24,569
They're gonna call your doctor,
and he's gonna meet us at the hospital.
893
01:03:24,602 --> 01:03:29,707
We're not gonna make it to the hospital.
My water just broke.
894
01:03:29,740 --> 01:03:34,679
Oh, my God! We're gonna have
to find a doctor in the area.
895
01:03:34,712 --> 01:03:38,749
Oh, my... Ohh, my God.
You look awful!
896
01:03:38,783 --> 01:03:42,453
What if we can't find one?
You're not gonna faint, are you?
897
01:03:42,487 --> 01:03:46,724
Doris, I'm not a cabdriver!
I don't know how to deliver babies!
898
01:03:46,757 --> 01:03:51,696
George, this is no time to start
acting like Butterfly McQueen.
899
01:03:51,729 --> 01:03:54,765
Now, you just get on the phone
and find a doctor.
900
01:04:02,440 --> 01:04:05,076
Ohh.
901
01:04:05,110 --> 01:04:09,680
Hello. Uh, Mr. Chalmers,
where's the nearest doctor?
902
01:04:09,714 --> 01:04:13,251
Well, get... Look.
Get him on the phone for me, will you?
903
01:04:13,284 --> 01:04:14,819
This is an emergency.
904
01:04:14,852 --> 01:04:16,321
It's all right.
It's okay.
905
01:04:16,354 --> 01:04:17,322
No! No!
906
01:04:17,355 --> 01:04:19,757
Hold on. Hold on.
It's okay, baby.
907
01:04:19,790 --> 01:04:22,502
This will teach you to fool
around with a married woman!
908
01:04:22,527 --> 01:04:24,262
Shh! What's the matter with you?
909
01:04:24,295 --> 01:04:27,232
Get that down! Get down!
Get down! Put that down!
910
01:04:27,265 --> 01:04:31,769
Calm down. Relax.
Just keep that down. Hel...
911
01:04:31,802 --> 01:04:34,672
What do you mean,
his answering service?
912
01:04:34,705 --> 01:04:38,176
W... No, no. Wait. Wait a second.
You don't understand.
913
01:04:38,209 --> 01:04:41,712
This is an emergency.
She's in the last stages of labor!
914
01:04:43,781 --> 01:04:49,554
Well, get in your car and drive down
to the goddamn pier and get him!
915
01:04:49,587 --> 01:04:53,124
Just get him!
It's okay. It's all right.
916
01:04:53,158 --> 01:04:55,760
Relax.
917
01:04:55,793 --> 01:04:59,897
He's... The doctor's on his boat,
but he's just down... down the road,
918
01:04:59,930 --> 01:05:04,835
and, uh... and, uh... Chalmers is
gonna drive down there in his...
919
01:05:04,869 --> 01:05:07,238
God... in his car and get him.
920
01:05:07,272 --> 01:05:09,807
He'll be right here.
921
01:05:09,840 --> 01:05:11,742
What?
922
01:05:11,776 --> 01:05:14,779
What? What? What? What?
923
01:05:14,812 --> 01:05:18,549
I feel the baby!
No!
924
01:05:21,586 --> 01:05:24,322
George, I'm scared.
925
01:05:25,890 --> 01:05:29,760
Honey, do something.
926
01:05:32,397 --> 01:05:35,366
- I'll be right back.
- George, don't leave me.
927
01:05:35,400 --> 01:05:38,503
- I'm right here, baby. I'm right here.
- George!
928
01:05:38,536 --> 01:05:42,507
What are those for?
We're gonna have a baby.
929
01:05:42,540 --> 01:05:45,376
- "We"?
- Yeah, but I'm gonna need your help.
930
01:05:45,410 --> 01:05:50,915
Give me your hand.
Look into my eyes.
931
01:05:50,948 --> 01:05:54,719
You're gonna be fine.
932
01:05:54,752 --> 01:05:59,390
There's nothing to worry about.
We're together. Okay.
933
01:05:59,424 --> 01:06:02,693
You think I play the piano well?
Yeah.
934
01:06:02,727 --> 01:06:06,297
Wait till you see
the way I deliver babies.
935
01:07:23,774 --> 01:07:26,644
Hey, man.
What do ya say?
936
01:07:41,559 --> 01:07:45,330
Mmm. So... wanna fuck?
937
01:07:48,799 --> 01:07:53,904
What? You didn't
understand the question?
938
01:07:53,938 --> 01:07:58,843
Of course I did. I just think it's a
damned odd way to start a conversation.
939
01:07:58,876 --> 01:08:02,880
Oh. Gee, I thought it was
a great little icebreaker.
940
01:08:03,981 --> 01:08:08,486
Aren't you horny
after your long flight?
941
01:08:08,519 --> 01:08:12,056
I didn't fly. I drove.
From Connecticut?
942
01:08:12,089 --> 01:08:15,693
No. From Los Angeles. We moved to
Beverly Hills about six months ago.
943
01:08:15,726 --> 01:08:17,962
Ohh. How come?
944
01:08:17,995 --> 01:08:21,499
A number of reasons. I got tired of
standing knee-deep in the snow...
945
01:08:21,532 --> 01:08:26,003
trying to scrape the ice off my
windshield with a credit card.
946
01:08:26,036 --> 01:08:29,974
There are people here with a lot of
money who don't know what to do with it.
947
01:08:30,007 --> 01:08:33,978
And you tell 'em?
I'm what they call a business manager.
948
01:08:34,011 --> 01:08:39,016
- How's it goin'?
- Can't complain. Why?
949
01:08:39,049 --> 01:08:42,119
You look kind of shitty.
950
01:08:42,152 --> 01:08:46,056
Is everything all right?
951
01:08:46,090 --> 01:08:48,423
When did you start dressing like an Indian?
952
01:08:48,448 --> 01:08:51,128
You look like a refugee
from the Sunset Strip.
953
01:08:51,161 --> 01:08:54,765
Oh, no. I've gone
back to school... Berkeley.
954
01:08:54,799 --> 01:08:57,968
Why?
Why?
955
01:08:58,002 --> 01:09:00,638
You mean, what do I want
to be when I grow up?
956
01:09:00,671 --> 01:09:03,941
Well, you have to admit it's a bit
odd becoming a schoolgirl at your age.
957
01:09:03,974 --> 01:09:08,813
Hey, listen. You think it's easy being the
only one in your class with clear skin?
958
01:09:08,846 --> 01:09:13,784
What made you do it? Actually,
it was a dinner party that made me decide.
959
01:09:13,818 --> 01:09:18,088
Harry's boss invited us over for
dinner, and I just freaked. Why?
960
01:09:18,122 --> 01:09:22,393
Well, I'd spent so much time at home with
the kids that I really wasn't sure...
961
01:09:22,427 --> 01:09:25,189
I was capable of carrying on
an intelligent conversation
962
01:09:25,214 --> 01:09:27,031
with anyone over the age of five.
963
01:09:27,064 --> 01:09:31,702
So, anyway, we went,
and I got seated right next to the boss.
964
01:09:31,736 --> 01:09:35,072
But, you know, I surprised myself.
I mean, he talked and I talked.
965
01:09:35,105 --> 01:09:37,842
It was just like
a regular conversation.
966
01:09:37,875 --> 01:09:39,910
I thought everything was cool,
967
01:09:39,944 --> 01:09:43,013
till I noticed that he was looking
at me in kind of a weird way.
968
01:09:43,047 --> 01:09:46,984
I looked down at his plate and discovered
that all the time we had been talking,
969
01:09:47,017 --> 01:09:51,088
I'd been cutting up
his meat for him.
970
01:09:54,191 --> 01:09:57,795
That's when I decided that I'd
better get out of the house.
971
01:09:57,828 --> 01:09:59,897
Yeah, but why school?
Oh, I don't know.
972
01:09:59,930 --> 01:10:05,536
I felt restless and undirected, and I
thought school would give me some answers.
973
01:10:05,570 --> 01:10:10,641
What sort of answers?
You know, like where it's really at.
974
01:10:10,675 --> 01:10:14,078
Jesus.
What?
975
01:10:14,111 --> 01:10:16,581
That expression.
976
01:10:16,614 --> 01:10:19,617
Okay. I wanted to find
out who the hell I am.
977
01:10:19,650 --> 01:10:22,487
You don't get answers
like that from the classroom.
978
01:10:22,520 --> 01:10:24,822
Well, I'm not in
a classroom all the time.
979
01:10:24,855 --> 01:10:27,625
I'll tell ya, the protests
and demonstrations...
980
01:10:27,658 --> 01:10:31,662
are a learning experience
in themselves.
981
01:10:31,696 --> 01:10:35,666
Protests against what?
982
01:10:35,700 --> 01:10:40,004
The war. Didn't you hear about it?
It was in all the papers.
983
01:10:40,037 --> 01:10:44,041
Demonstrations
aren't gonna stop the war.
984
01:10:44,074 --> 01:10:48,879
Oh, really?
Have you got a better idea?
985
01:10:51,949 --> 01:10:55,853
Look, I didn't drive all the
way up here to discuss politics.
986
01:10:59,123 --> 01:11:04,094
Well, so far you've turned
down sex and politics.
987
01:11:04,128 --> 01:11:07,898
Would you like to try religion?
988
01:11:07,932 --> 01:11:10,968
I think I'll try a Librium.
989
01:11:32,923 --> 01:11:35,826
Jesus.
990
01:11:35,860 --> 01:11:40,998
Ohh. Honey,
why are you so uptight?
991
01:11:41,031 --> 01:11:44,168
That's another expression I hate.
"Uptight"?
992
01:11:44,201 --> 01:11:49,173
There's no such word.
You remind me of my mother.
993
01:11:49,206 --> 01:11:51,942
When I was nine,
I asked her what "fuck" meant.
994
01:11:51,976 --> 01:11:56,013
You know what she said?
"There's no such word."
995
01:11:56,046 --> 01:11:57,189
And now you know there is,
996
01:11:57,214 --> 01:11:59,808
you feel compelled to use
it in every other sentence?
997
01:12:01,619 --> 01:12:05,856
What is bugging you? "Bugging" me?
I'll tell you what's bugging me.
998
01:12:05,890 --> 01:12:08,125
The blacks
are burning down the cities.
999
01:12:08,158 --> 01:12:11,696
There's a Harvard professor telling
my kids the only way to happiness...
1000
01:12:11,729 --> 01:12:14,331
is to become doped-up zombies.
1001
01:12:14,364 --> 01:12:17,267
And I have a teenage son with
hair so long that from the back,
1002
01:12:17,301 --> 01:12:22,006
he looks exactly
like Yvonne De Carlo.
1003
01:12:22,039 --> 01:12:26,877
You know that's a sign of
age, don't you? What is?
1004
01:12:26,911 --> 01:12:30,881
When you start worrying about the
declining morality of the young.
1005
01:12:30,915 --> 01:12:34,051
Besides, there is nothing
you can do about it.
1006
01:12:34,084 --> 01:12:36,987
We can start
setting some examples.
1007
01:12:37,021 --> 01:12:41,158
As I recall, when you
were a little younger,
1008
01:12:41,191 --> 01:12:43,928
you were not exactly a monk
about that sort of thing.
1009
01:12:43,961 --> 01:12:46,931
That was different.
1010
01:12:46,964 --> 01:12:50,668
Our relationship is not based
on a casual one-night stand.
1011
01:12:50,701 --> 01:12:53,070
No. It's been
15 one-night stands.
1012
01:12:55,105 --> 01:12:59,176
It's not the same.
We shared things.
1013
01:12:59,209 --> 01:13:02,146
My God. I helped deliver your child.
Remember?
1014
01:13:02,179 --> 01:13:05,349
Remember?
1015
01:13:05,382 --> 01:13:09,286
I consider that our finest hour.
1016
01:13:14,992 --> 01:13:18,796
- How is she?
- Georgette?
1017
01:13:18,829 --> 01:13:23,067
Ooh, she's very healthy,
very noisy and very spoiled.
1018
01:13:23,100 --> 01:13:25,936
Don't you feel guilty leaving
her alone when you go to school?
1019
01:13:25,970 --> 01:13:28,005
No. Harry's home a lot.
1020
01:13:28,038 --> 01:13:30,675
How does Harry feel
about all this? Oh.
1021
01:13:30,708 --> 01:13:33,644
When I told him I wanted to go back
to school to get some identity,
1022
01:13:33,678 --> 01:13:38,015
he said to me, "You want identity,
go build a bridge, invent penicillin.
1023
01:13:38,048 --> 01:13:40,718
Just get off my back."
1024
01:13:40,751 --> 01:13:44,421
I always said Harry had a
good head on his shoulders.
1025
01:13:44,454 --> 01:13:48,659
That was supposed to be
the bad story about him.
1026
01:13:49,426 --> 01:13:52,296
How's Helen?
1027
01:13:52,329 --> 01:13:55,299
Helen's fine, just fine.
1028
01:13:55,332 --> 01:14:00,671
Hmm. Why don't you tell me a story that
shows how really rotten she can be?
1029
01:14:01,972 --> 01:14:04,174
That's not like you.
1030
01:14:04,208 --> 01:14:07,344
I know, but it seems like we need
something to bring us together.
1031
01:14:07,377 --> 01:14:12,416
I thought a really lousy story about
Helen would make you appreciate me more.
1032
01:14:14,752 --> 01:14:19,456
Okay. As you know,
she has this funny sense of humor.
1033
01:14:19,489 --> 01:14:22,092
By funny,
I take it you mean peculiar. Right.
1034
01:14:22,126 --> 01:14:25,796
And it comes out
at the most inappropriate times.
1035
01:14:25,830 --> 01:14:30,467
I had just signed this client...
very proper, very old money.
1036
01:14:30,500 --> 01:14:34,939
Helen and I were invited to his house
for cocktails with him and his wife.
1037
01:14:34,972 --> 01:14:37,775
Well, it was all pretty awkward,
1038
01:14:37,808 --> 01:14:41,045
but we managed to get
through the drinks all right.
1039
01:14:41,078 --> 01:14:45,149
Then, as we were leaving,
instead of walking out the front door,
1040
01:14:45,182 --> 01:14:48,753
I walked into the hall closet.
1041
01:14:48,786 --> 01:14:52,823
Well, that wasn't so bad.
Anybody could've done that.
1042
01:14:52,857 --> 01:14:56,426
My mistake was
I stayed in there.
1043
01:14:57,427 --> 01:15:01,365
You stayed in the closet?
1044
01:15:01,398 --> 01:15:04,434
I wasn't sure anybody
had seen me go in. Aha.
1045
01:15:04,468 --> 01:15:08,072
I guess I figured I'd stay in
there until they'd all gone away.
1046
01:15:08,105 --> 01:15:11,942
All right. Maybe
I didn't think things through.
1047
01:15:11,976 --> 01:15:16,881
I was there a minute before I realized
I had probably misjudged the situation.
1048
01:15:16,914 --> 01:15:20,885
And then when I came out,
the three of them were just staring at me.
1049
01:15:20,918 --> 01:15:22,475
Well, it was pretty awkward,
1050
01:15:22,500 --> 01:15:25,923
but I probably could've carried
it off except for Helen.
1051
01:15:25,956 --> 01:15:29,493
- You know what she did?
- What?
1052
01:15:30,895 --> 01:15:34,464
She peed on the carpet.
1053
01:15:37,401 --> 01:15:41,438
She did what?
Well, not right away.
1054
01:15:41,471 --> 01:15:44,308
First, she started to laugh.
1055
01:15:44,341 --> 01:15:47,845
Her face was all screwed up.
She was holding her sides.
1056
01:15:47,878 --> 01:15:52,749
Tears were streaming down her cheeks.
And then she peed all over the carpet.
1057
01:15:54,051 --> 01:15:57,087
What did you say?
1058
01:15:57,121 --> 01:15:59,156
I said, "You'll have to
excuse my wife.
1059
01:15:59,189 --> 01:16:02,026
Ever since her last pregnancy,
she's had a problem."
1060
01:16:02,059 --> 01:16:04,795
Then I offered
to have the rug cleaned.
1061
01:16:04,829 --> 01:16:06,172
Did that help?
1062
01:16:06,197 --> 01:16:10,224
No. They said they had a maid,
and it wouldn't be necessary.
1063
01:16:18,342 --> 01:16:21,846
You think this is funny?
Listen.
1064
01:16:21,879 --> 01:16:26,383
I've been meaning to tell
you this for a long time.
1065
01:16:26,416 --> 01:16:29,920
I just love Helen.
1066
01:16:32,622 --> 01:16:36,426
Would she come off any worse if
I told you I lost the account?
1067
01:16:36,460 --> 01:16:40,430
Oh, George, when
did you get so stuffy?
1068
01:16:40,464 --> 01:16:44,468
Stuffy?
Yeah.
1069
01:16:44,501 --> 01:16:48,572
Am I stuffy because I don't like my
wife to urinate on my client's carpet?
1070
01:16:50,307 --> 01:16:53,543
Well, I didn't mean
just that, honey, but...
1071
01:16:53,577 --> 01:16:58,015
Well, look at you.
You just scream establishment.
1072
01:16:58,048 --> 01:17:01,618
I am not a faddist.
1073
01:17:01,651 --> 01:17:02,594
What do you mean?
1074
01:17:02,619 --> 01:17:05,422
I mean I have no desire to
be those middle-aged idiots...
1075
01:17:05,455 --> 01:17:08,893
who walk around in bell-bottomed
trousers and Prince Valiant haircuts...
1076
01:17:08,926 --> 01:17:11,295
saying "ciao."
1077
01:17:11,328 --> 01:17:16,500
Well, I wasn't just talking about fashion.
I was talking about your attitudes.
1078
01:17:16,533 --> 01:17:20,004
My attitudes are the same as they
always were. I haven't changed at all.
1079
01:17:20,037 --> 01:17:24,308
Oh, yes, you have. You used to be kind
of, well, crazy and insecure...
1080
01:17:24,341 --> 01:17:28,612
and a terrible liar,
but awfully human.
1081
01:17:28,645 --> 01:17:32,382
Now you... I don't know.
You just seem so sure of yourself.
1082
01:17:36,921 --> 01:17:40,891
- That's the last thing I am.
- Oh, yeah?
1083
01:17:40,925 --> 01:17:44,594
I picked up one of Helen's magazines the
other day, and there was this article...
1084
01:17:44,628 --> 01:17:48,933
telling women what sort
of orgasms they should have.
1085
01:17:48,966 --> 01:17:52,236
It was called "The Big 'O.'"
1086
01:17:52,269 --> 01:17:55,139
You know what really
got me about that?
1087
01:17:55,172 --> 01:17:59,076
This was a magazine my mother used
to buy for its fruitcake recipes.
1088
01:17:59,109 --> 01:18:02,679
Well, the times, in fact,
are a-changing, darling.
1089
01:18:02,712 --> 01:18:05,582
Too fast.
1090
01:18:07,651 --> 01:18:12,222
I don't know.
Twenty, thirty years ago, we had standards.
1091
01:18:12,256 --> 01:18:15,659
Maybe they were black and white,
but at least they were standards.
1092
01:18:15,692 --> 01:18:17,627
Now...
1093
01:18:20,064 --> 01:18:22,967
It's so confusing.
1094
01:18:26,270 --> 01:18:28,405
Well...
1095
01:18:28,438 --> 01:18:32,476
That's at least a step
in the right direction.
1096
01:18:34,144 --> 01:18:37,214
When did I suddenly
become so appealing?
1097
01:18:37,247 --> 01:18:41,218
When you went
from pompous to confused.
1098
01:18:45,990 --> 01:18:49,726
All right.
Now, tell me, sir.
1099
01:18:49,759 --> 01:18:52,096
What's your pleasure?
1100
01:18:52,129 --> 01:18:55,966
A walk by the ocean...
1101
01:18:56,000 --> 01:18:59,436
or a good book...
1102
01:18:59,469 --> 01:19:01,371
or...
1103
01:19:02,772 --> 01:19:05,075
me?
1104
01:19:06,310 --> 01:19:11,048
You.
Oh, I thought you'd never ask.
1105
01:19:17,087 --> 01:19:19,489
What?
1106
01:19:19,523 --> 01:19:24,061
Doris, you're not wearing a bra.
1107
01:19:24,094 --> 01:19:28,465
George, you're so 40s.
1108
01:19:28,498 --> 01:19:31,135
I'm a very old-fashioned man.
1109
01:19:31,168 --> 01:19:35,172
Next, you'll be telling me
you voted for Goldwater.
1110
01:19:35,205 --> 01:19:37,174
I did.
1111
01:19:38,275 --> 01:19:41,145
You're putting me on.
1112
01:19:41,178 --> 01:19:44,414
No. Of course not.
1113
01:19:44,448 --> 01:19:46,416
What are you doing?
1114
01:19:46,450 --> 01:19:50,654
If you think I'm going to bed with any
son of a bitch who voted for Goldwater,
1115
01:19:50,687 --> 01:19:52,756
you're crazy.
1116
01:19:52,789 --> 01:19:56,126
Doris, don't do this to me.
Not now.
1117
01:19:56,160 --> 01:20:00,197
How could you vote for
a man like that? Yuck!
1118
01:20:00,230 --> 01:20:04,034
Can we discuss this later? No.
We'll discuss it right now.
1119
01:20:04,068 --> 01:20:05,577
Why did you vote for him?
1120
01:20:05,602 --> 01:20:09,139
Because I have a son who
wants to be a rock musician.
1121
01:20:09,173 --> 01:20:13,077
What kind of reason is that? The best
one I can come up with in my condition.
1122
01:20:13,110 --> 01:20:16,180
I'm sorry, George, you're gonna have
to do a whole lot better than that.
1123
01:20:16,213 --> 01:20:20,184
All right. He wanted to end the war, okay?
Sure, by destroying the country.
1124
01:20:20,217 --> 01:20:23,353
He never said that. That's the trouble
with you people. You never listen.
1125
01:20:23,387 --> 01:20:26,456
It's a civil war. We have no right
being there in the first place.
1126
01:20:26,490 --> 01:20:29,093
Oh, I'm so sick
of hearing that liberal crap.
1127
01:20:29,126 --> 01:20:32,529
We have the bomb. Why don't we use it?
Are you serious?
1128
01:20:32,562 --> 01:20:37,201
You're damned right I am. Wipe the sons
of bitches off the face of the earth.
1129
01:20:37,234 --> 01:20:41,438
Oh, my God!
I don't know anything about you!
1130
01:20:41,471 --> 01:20:45,509
- What kind of man are you?
- Right now, a very frustrated one.
1131
01:20:45,542 --> 01:20:50,080
All this time, I thought I was going
to bed with a liberal Democrat.
1132
01:20:50,114 --> 01:20:52,749
Wait a minute.
You told me you worked for Stevenson.
1133
01:20:52,782 --> 01:20:55,852
That was years ago. So what happened?
What changed you?
1134
01:20:55,885 --> 01:20:59,089
I grew up. Oh, yeah?
Well, as far as I'm concerned,
1135
01:20:59,123 --> 01:21:02,226
you didn't turn out too hot.
1136
01:21:08,198 --> 01:21:11,535
Let's just forget it, huh?
Oh, I'm not gonna forget it!
1137
01:21:11,568 --> 01:21:16,173
I mean, being stuffy and old-fashioned is
one thing, but being a fascist is another.
1138
01:21:16,206 --> 01:21:19,809
I am not a fascist!
Well, you're advocating mass murder!
1139
01:21:19,843 --> 01:21:23,413
Let's just drop it.
No, I'm not... I'm not going to drop it.
1140
01:21:23,447 --> 01:21:25,482
You stand for everything
that I'm against.
1141
01:21:25,515 --> 01:21:29,286
Maybe you're against the wrong things.
But you used to believe as I do.
1142
01:21:29,319 --> 01:21:31,288
Now, what happened?
I changed!
1143
01:21:31,321 --> 01:21:35,425
But why?
Because Michael was killed!
1144
01:21:42,299 --> 01:21:44,434
How?
1145
01:21:48,705 --> 01:21:53,710
He was helping a wounded man onto a Red
Cross helicopter, and a sniper killed him.
1146
01:21:58,515 --> 01:22:01,918
When?
1147
01:22:07,291 --> 01:22:11,161
We got word during
a Fourth of July party.
1148
01:22:15,265 --> 01:22:19,369
Helen went completely to pieces.
1149
01:22:29,313 --> 01:22:34,584
I thought I was in shock and
that I'd feel it later, you know?
1150
01:22:38,822 --> 01:22:41,725
I never did.
1151
01:22:46,830 --> 01:22:50,400
I've never shed a tear.
1152
01:22:53,237 --> 01:22:57,341
All I've ever been able
to feel is blind anger.
1153
01:22:59,008 --> 01:23:03,647
I never shed a tear.
1154
01:23:03,680 --> 01:23:06,550
Isn't that something?
1155
01:23:09,253 --> 01:23:13,923
He was my son.
I love him.
1156
01:23:16,260 --> 01:23:20,364
And for the life of me...
1157
01:23:23,833 --> 01:23:26,636
I can't seem to cry for him.
1158
01:23:26,670 --> 01:23:28,472
Oh.
1159
01:23:42,018 --> 01:23:45,455
Doris, I'm sorry.
No.
1160
01:23:47,291 --> 01:23:50,527
About... About everything.
1161
01:23:55,365 --> 01:23:59,803
I've been a bit on edge lately.
1162
01:24:01,405 --> 01:24:05,342
Just seems to be one damn...
1163
01:24:32,802 --> 01:24:36,940
♪ Dreams make promises
1164
01:24:36,973 --> 01:24:40,043
♪ They can't keep
1165
01:24:40,076 --> 01:24:42,546
♪ They can swindle you
1166
01:24:42,579 --> 01:24:46,483
♪ While you sleep
1167
01:24:46,516 --> 01:24:51,321
♪ And the morning finds you ♪
1168
01:24:51,355 --> 01:24:55,792
♪ Wondering why
1169
01:24:55,825 --> 01:24:58,462
♪ It seems
1170
01:24:58,495 --> 01:25:03,733
♪ When we're young
in dreams we trust ♪
1171
01:25:03,767 --> 01:25:09,373
♪ Maybe growing up is just ♪
1172
01:25:09,406 --> 01:25:13,009
♪ Kissing certain dreams
1173
01:25:13,042 --> 01:25:17,481
♪ Good-bye ♪
1174
01:25:17,514 --> 01:25:23,420
You know, it's amazing how good it
can be after 21 years, isn't it?
1175
01:25:25,455 --> 01:25:30,860
Well, if you add up all the times
we actually made it together,
1176
01:25:31,928 --> 01:25:35,031
we're still on our honeymoon.
1177
01:25:37,066 --> 01:25:41,505
Did I tell you I'm a grandmother?
No.
1178
01:25:41,538 --> 01:25:44,073
But I think you picked a
weird time to announce it.
1179
01:25:47,176 --> 01:25:50,747
Congratulations.
Thank you.
1180
01:25:50,780 --> 01:25:53,437
Anyway, you're the
youngest-looking grandmother
1181
01:25:53,462 --> 01:25:55,485
I've had a peak experience with.
1182
01:25:55,519 --> 01:25:59,155
Well, my mother thanks you.
My father thanks you.
1183
01:25:59,188 --> 01:26:03,927
My hairdresser thanks you.
And my plastic surgeon thanks you.
1184
01:26:05,862 --> 01:26:11,935
When Harry says, "You're not the girl I
married," he doesn't know how right he is.
1185
01:26:11,968 --> 01:26:14,771
Didn't Harry like your old nose?
1186
01:26:14,804 --> 01:26:17,941
Harry thinks
this is my old nose.
1187
01:26:17,974 --> 01:26:20,844
He never noticed? No.
Isn't that pathetic?
1188
01:26:20,877 --> 01:26:25,549
I mean, a new dress or something,
I could understand, but a whole nose?
1189
01:26:25,582 --> 01:26:28,685
Well, to be totally honest,
I don't see any difference either.
1190
01:26:28,718 --> 01:26:32,756
Well, I don't care.
It's sure different from my side.
1191
01:26:32,789 --> 01:26:36,192
Makes me feel more attractive.
1192
01:26:36,225 --> 01:26:39,663
Anyway, that's this year's
bad story about Harry.
1193
01:26:39,696 --> 01:26:42,532
Have you got one about Helen?
1194
01:26:42,566 --> 01:26:46,603
Well, there was
this loud party next door.
1195
01:26:46,636 --> 01:26:49,706
Helen couldn't sleep.
1196
01:26:49,739 --> 01:26:53,610
And, uh, she didn't wanna
take a sleeping pill...
1197
01:26:53,643 --> 01:26:58,848
because she had to get up
at 6:00 in the morning.
1198
01:26:58,882 --> 01:27:02,986
So she took a couple of pills
and stuffed them in her ears.
1199
01:27:03,019 --> 01:27:05,655
What?
1200
01:27:05,689 --> 01:27:08,792
During the night,
the pills melted.
1201
01:27:08,825 --> 01:27:12,195
Then the next day, while the doctor
was digging the stuff out of her ears,
1202
01:27:12,228 --> 01:27:16,533
he said, "You know,
these can be taken orally."
1203
01:27:18,234 --> 01:27:22,071
Helen just laughed.
She didn't care.
1204
01:27:22,105 --> 01:27:25,775
I'll tell you something. If that's the
worst story you can tell about your wife,
1205
01:27:25,809 --> 01:27:28,077
you must be a very happy man.
1206
01:27:28,111 --> 01:27:31,214
Well, let's just say I've discovered
the potential for happiness.
1207
01:27:39,989 --> 01:27:42,826
Yes, Liz?
1208
01:27:44,628 --> 01:27:48,632
No, honey.
It's 60 guests, not 16.
1209
01:27:50,800 --> 01:27:55,605
There's no problem. We've catered
parties for her lots of times. It...
1210
01:27:55,639 --> 01:27:58,241
I know, but she puts little
tables around her swimming pool,
1211
01:27:58,274 --> 01:28:01,745
and then there's room
on the patio for the buffet.
1212
01:28:01,778 --> 01:28:04,781
Right.
It's a brunch.
1213
01:28:04,814 --> 01:28:08,885
Right. That's okay.
Sure.
1214
01:28:08,918 --> 01:28:11,821
Uh, Liz, did Harry call?
1215
01:28:16,626 --> 01:28:19,829
Okay. You know
where to reach me, huh?
1216
01:28:23,833 --> 01:28:27,837
I'm sorry. It was a busy weekend,
and I had to leave a number.
1217
01:28:27,871 --> 01:28:32,742
Does Harry know you're here? No.
Harry still thinks I go on retreat.
1218
01:28:32,776 --> 01:28:34,744
Don't worry.
1219
01:28:34,778 --> 01:28:38,181
I'm not worried. Yeah?
Then why are you frowning?
1220
01:28:38,214 --> 01:28:41,818
I'm getting bad vibes again.
Again?
1221
01:28:41,851 --> 01:28:47,123
Yeah. When you first walked in,
I picked up on your high tension level.
1222
01:28:47,156 --> 01:28:50,259
Then after we made love,
I sensed a certain anxiety reduction,
1223
01:28:50,293 --> 01:28:55,799
but, uh, now I'm getting
definite negative feedback.
1224
01:28:55,832 --> 01:28:57,901
When did you go into analysis?
1225
01:28:57,934 --> 01:29:02,205
- How did you know I was in analysis?
- Just a wild guess.
1226
01:29:02,238 --> 01:29:05,642
What made you start?
1227
01:29:05,675 --> 01:29:09,979
My value system changed. One day,
I took a look at my $150,000 house...
1228
01:29:10,013 --> 01:29:15,685
and the three cars in the garage and
the swimming pool and the gardeners,
1229
01:29:15,719 --> 01:29:18,955
and I asked myself, "Why?"
1230
01:29:18,988 --> 01:29:22,926
I mean, did I really
want the whole status trip?
1231
01:29:22,959 --> 01:29:27,631
So I decided to try to find out
what I did want and who I was.
1232
01:29:27,664 --> 01:29:30,967
So you went from analysis
to Esalen to Gestalt...
1233
01:29:31,000 --> 01:29:35,371
to encounter groups to
transactional to nirvana, huh?
1234
01:29:35,404 --> 01:29:39,008
Just because some people are trying
to widen their emotional horizons...
1235
01:29:39,042 --> 01:29:41,611
doesn't make the experience
any less valid.
1236
01:29:41,645 --> 01:29:44,013
I've learned a lot.
So I've noticed.
1237
01:29:44,047 --> 01:29:48,017
For one thing, you've learned to talk as
though you're reasoning with somebody...
1238
01:29:48,051 --> 01:29:51,020
about to jump from a high ledge.
1239
01:29:51,054 --> 01:29:55,792
Okay, okay. I know sometimes I tend
to overcompensate for my emotionalism.
1240
01:29:57,894 --> 01:30:01,731
Occasionally, there's a loss of
spontaneity. I'm working on that.
1241
01:30:01,765 --> 01:30:05,902
Well, I'm glad to hear it.
What else have you learned?
1242
01:30:07,937 --> 01:30:11,374
That behind the walls
I've built around myself,
1243
01:30:11,407 --> 01:30:15,144
I'm a warm, caring,
loving human being.
1244
01:30:15,178 --> 01:30:18,848
Well, I could've
told you that 20 years ago.
1245
01:30:20,850 --> 01:30:25,021
Tell me. How's Helen reacting to
your voyage of self-discovery?
1246
01:30:25,054 --> 01:30:28,658
Well, at first, she tended to overreact.
Oh, yeah? In what way?
1247
01:30:28,692 --> 01:30:31,928
She threw a grapefruit
at me in the supermarket.
1248
01:30:31,961 --> 01:30:33,321
Listen.
1249
01:30:33,346 --> 01:30:37,400
It's only natural that there'd be some
interpersonal conflicts to work through,
1250
01:30:37,433 --> 01:30:40,770
but now it's cool.
1251
01:30:40,804 --> 01:30:44,908
- Helen's into pottery.
- Oh. And what are you doing for a living?
1252
01:30:44,941 --> 01:30:48,044
We live very simply, Doris.
1253
01:30:48,077 --> 01:30:53,883
We don't need much. What bread we do need,
I can provide by simple, honest labor.
1254
01:30:53,917 --> 01:30:57,120
Like what? I play cocktail piano
in a singles bar in the Valley.
1255
01:31:07,130 --> 01:31:09,966
Yes, Liz?
1256
01:31:14,070 --> 01:31:18,274
No. No.
Tell 'em that's our final offer.
1257
01:31:18,307 --> 01:31:21,044
Oh, that's a lot of bull.
I know it's a good piece of property,
1258
01:31:21,077 --> 01:31:25,014
but he needs us
more than we need him.
1259
01:31:25,048 --> 01:31:29,452
Well, if he doesn't like it, tell him
to shove it. And don't worry. He won't.
1260
01:31:31,387 --> 01:31:35,324
Okay, hon. Thanks.
Anything else?
1261
01:31:35,358 --> 01:31:38,494
All right. Well,
I'll be at this number.
1262
01:31:38,527 --> 01:31:40,930
Okay.
1263
01:31:42,065 --> 01:31:45,735
I'm buying another store.
Why?
1264
01:31:45,769 --> 01:31:46,820
Money.
1265
01:31:46,845 --> 01:31:49,973
Is that why you went into business?
To make money?
1266
01:31:50,006 --> 01:31:55,078
No. I wanted power too.
I take it you are for women's liberation?
1267
01:31:55,111 --> 01:31:59,148
- Hey, I'm for any kind of liberation.
- That's a cop-out.
1268
01:31:59,182 --> 01:32:02,919
Women have always been exploited
by men, and you know it.
1269
01:32:02,952 --> 01:32:08,825
Doris, we've all been shafted,
and by the same things.
1270
01:32:08,858 --> 01:32:13,096
Look. Let me lay this on you.
I go to a woman doctor.
1271
01:32:13,129 --> 01:32:16,365
Oh, yeah? First time she
gave me a rectal examination,
1272
01:32:16,399 --> 01:32:20,970
she said, "Am I hurting
you or are you tense?"
1273
01:32:21,004 --> 01:32:25,208
I said, "I'm tense." She said,
"Are you tense because I'm a woman?"
1274
01:32:25,241 --> 01:32:29,478
I said, "No. I get tense when
anybody does that to me."
1275
01:32:29,512 --> 01:32:32,882
See what I mean?
Well, I don't know about that,
1276
01:32:32,916 --> 01:32:36,085
but I do know in this country,
nobody takes a woman seriously...
1277
01:32:36,119 --> 01:32:39,155
until she has enough money
to back up her mouth.
1278
01:32:39,188 --> 01:32:41,557
Hey, I think
it's great to have a hobby.
1279
01:32:41,590 --> 01:32:44,560
A hobby?
1280
01:32:44,593 --> 01:32:48,197
We grossed a half
million the first year.
1281
01:32:48,231 --> 01:32:52,501
Doris, don't misunderstand me. If that's
what you want, I'm very happy for you.
1282
01:32:53,937 --> 01:32:57,073
I'm just not
into the money thing anymore.
1283
01:32:58,441 --> 01:33:01,911
Do you ever get the feeling
that we're drifting apart?
1284
01:33:01,945 --> 01:33:05,281
No. In many ways,
I've never felt closer to you.
1285
01:33:05,314 --> 01:33:11,187
I don't know. Somehow it seems
to me our lives are out of synch.
1286
01:33:11,220 --> 01:33:15,424
Look. We all realize our potential
in different ways at different times.
1287
01:33:15,458 --> 01:33:18,962
The important thing is, does what you
do give you a sense of fulfillment?
1288
01:33:18,995 --> 01:33:22,866
Well, I'm working on it.
And you have everything you want?
1289
01:33:22,899 --> 01:33:25,835
With one minor exception.
1290
01:33:25,869 --> 01:33:30,606
Somewhere along the way,
I seem to have lost my husband.
1291
01:33:30,639 --> 01:33:35,144
- Lost him?
- Well, I don't know if I lost him...
1292
01:33:35,178 --> 01:33:37,480
or I simply misplaced him.
1293
01:33:37,513 --> 01:33:41,985
He left home four days ago,
and I haven't heard from him since.
1294
01:33:42,018 --> 01:33:46,389
How do you feel about that?
George, do me a favor.
1295
01:33:46,422 --> 01:33:49,918
Stop talking as though you're
leading a human potential group.
1296
01:33:49,943 --> 01:33:51,527
It really pisses me off.
1297
01:33:51,560 --> 01:33:54,597
That's cool.
What's cool?
1298
01:33:54,630 --> 01:33:58,868
For you to transfer your feelings of
hostility and aggression from Harry to me.
1299
01:33:58,902 --> 01:34:02,271
As long as you know that's what
you're doing. You know something?
1300
01:34:02,305 --> 01:34:05,141
You're really beginning
to get on my nerves.
1301
01:34:05,174 --> 01:34:08,411
That's cool too.
Jesus.
1302
01:34:08,444 --> 01:34:14,417
I mean it. At least it's honest.
Total honesty is the key to everything.
1303
01:34:14,450 --> 01:34:16,619
Really? Are you being
totally honest with Helen?
1304
01:34:16,652 --> 01:34:21,324
- I'm trying.
- Oh, yeah? Have you told her about us?
1305
01:34:21,357 --> 01:34:24,560
No, but I could. I think today
she's mature enough to handle it.
1306
01:34:24,593 --> 01:34:26,629
George, you're full of shit.
1307
01:34:31,334 --> 01:34:34,670
I can buy that.
1308
01:34:34,703 --> 01:34:38,374
I mean,
if you're being totally honest.
1309
01:34:38,407 --> 01:34:42,278
Believe me. I am
being totally honest.
1310
01:34:44,547 --> 01:34:47,550
Well, at least it's a start.
1311
01:34:47,583 --> 01:34:50,686
And what about
all that other garbage?
1312
01:34:50,719 --> 01:34:54,457
"I don't know if I lost him
or simply misplaced him."
1313
01:34:54,490 --> 01:34:59,662
What kind of crap is that?
All right. You've got a point.
1314
01:34:59,695 --> 01:35:03,466
So how do you feel about all this?
You're doing it again!
1315
01:35:03,499 --> 01:35:07,636
Okay. I think...
Don't tell me how you think.
1316
01:35:07,670 --> 01:35:11,640
Tell me how you feel.
1317
01:35:11,674 --> 01:35:15,078
Like I've been kicked
in the stomach.
1318
01:35:15,111 --> 01:35:17,280
What else?
1319
01:35:18,681 --> 01:35:24,687
Angry. Hurt. Betrayed.
1320
01:35:24,720 --> 01:35:28,091
And, okay, a little guilty.
But I'll tell you something.
1321
01:35:28,124 --> 01:35:31,194
I really resent the fact that
he's making me feel guilty.
1322
01:35:31,227 --> 01:35:33,629
Why do you feel resentment?
1323
01:35:33,662 --> 01:35:37,733
Well, look. I didn't marry Harry
because he had a good head for business.
1324
01:35:37,766 --> 01:35:42,105
Okay. So it turns out that I do,
or maybe I was lucky. I don't know.
1325
01:35:42,138 --> 01:35:48,044
The point is, I don't love him any less
just 'cause he's a failure as a provider,
1326
01:35:48,077 --> 01:35:52,615
so why should he love me less
just 'cause I'm a success?
1327
01:35:52,648 --> 01:35:55,518
Have you told him you still love him?
Love him.
1328
01:35:57,353 --> 01:36:01,157
What's he think I've been
hanging around for 27 years for?
1329
01:36:01,190 --> 01:36:04,693
Would it be so hard to let him
know you understand how he feels?
1330
01:36:04,727 --> 01:36:07,596
Right now it would, yes.
1331
01:36:07,630 --> 01:36:10,133
Do you want him back?
1332
01:36:11,634 --> 01:36:15,104
I don't know.
1333
01:36:15,138 --> 01:36:19,375
But ask me again tomorrow, and I'll
probably give you a different answer.
1334
01:36:19,408 --> 01:36:21,244
Why?
1335
01:36:23,546 --> 01:36:26,649
Because tomorrow
I won't have you.
1336
01:36:33,189 --> 01:36:38,061
- I'm always with you in spirit.
- Thanks a lot.
1337
01:36:38,094 --> 01:36:42,431
It's kind of difficult to put your
cold feet on somebody's spirit,
1338
01:36:42,465 --> 01:36:45,501
especially when
they're 400 miles away.
1339
01:36:49,838 --> 01:36:54,643
Is that a proposal, Doris?
1340
01:36:54,677 --> 01:36:59,348
Are you interested?
Are you?
1341
01:37:02,151 --> 01:37:05,188
I've always thought
we'd make a nice couple.
1342
01:37:06,555 --> 01:37:08,724
You didn't answer the question.
1343
01:37:08,757 --> 01:37:12,361
I was the one who proposed.
1344
01:37:15,364 --> 01:37:18,401
Well, don't look
so panicky, George.
1345
01:37:18,434 --> 01:37:22,138
I was only
three-quarters serious.
1346
01:37:26,509 --> 01:37:30,246
Well, when you're completely
serious, ask me again.
1347
01:37:30,279 --> 01:37:34,383
I bet you say that
to all the girls.
1348
01:37:34,417 --> 01:37:36,319
No.
1349
01:37:41,457 --> 01:37:45,394
Thank you.
You hungry?
1350
01:37:45,428 --> 01:37:48,697
Yes.
Well, you're in luck.
1351
01:37:48,731 --> 01:37:53,402
Because today, your lunch is
being catered by the chicest,
1352
01:37:53,436 --> 01:37:57,340
most expensive French delicatessen
in all of San Francisco.
1353
01:37:57,373 --> 01:38:01,277
How did we swing that?
The owner's got a thing for ya.
1354
01:38:01,310 --> 01:38:04,113
It's out in the trunk of my car.
Can I help?
1355
01:38:04,147 --> 01:38:07,350
Why, you could set the table
and turn on some nice music...
1356
01:38:07,383 --> 01:38:09,418
and when I come back,
make me laugh, huh?
1357
01:38:09,452 --> 01:38:12,221
I'll try.
Don't worry.
1358
01:38:12,255 --> 01:38:16,091
If you can't make me
laugh, just hold my hand.
1359
01:38:37,846 --> 01:38:40,649
Hello?
1360
01:38:40,683 --> 01:38:44,420
Uh, no, she's not here
right now. Who's this?
1361
01:38:46,922 --> 01:38:49,892
Harry? Um...
1362
01:38:49,925 --> 01:38:54,797
Uh, would you... would you just
hold on for a minute, please?
1363
01:39:08,744 --> 01:39:10,746
Hello?
1364
01:39:12,448 --> 01:39:16,652
Harry, we're two mature adult human
beings, and I've decided to be honest.
1365
01:39:18,754 --> 01:39:22,691
No. Doris is not here right now,
but I'd like to talk to you.
1366
01:39:24,593 --> 01:39:26,262
Because I know
that you and Doris
1367
01:39:26,287 --> 01:39:28,888
are having a pretty rough
time right now, and...
1368
01:39:31,334 --> 01:39:34,770
Uh, we're very close friends.
1369
01:39:34,803 --> 01:39:38,774
I've known Doris for 20 years,
and I feel that through her, I know you.
1370
01:39:42,478 --> 01:39:45,948
We've been meeting this
same weekend for 20 years.
1371
01:39:49,952 --> 01:39:53,856
The retreat?
Uh, yeah.
1372
01:39:53,889 --> 01:39:57,993
I'll, uh... I'll get to
that in a minute, but, um,
1373
01:39:58,026 --> 01:40:01,397
first I'd like to tell you
something, Harry.
1374
01:40:01,430 --> 01:40:04,267
She loves you.
1375
01:40:04,300 --> 01:40:09,572
Well, I just know. Look. Maybe if I told
you a story she told me this morning,
1376
01:40:09,605 --> 01:40:12,341
maybe it would help you
understand.
1377
01:40:12,375 --> 01:40:17,713
Uh, a few months ago,
Doris was supposed to act as den mother...
1378
01:40:17,746 --> 01:40:21,984
for your 10-year-old daughter
and her Indian Guide group.
1379
01:40:22,017 --> 01:40:26,522
And Doris was a little late.
She was hung up at the store,
1380
01:40:26,555 --> 01:40:28,891
and she got home
about two hours late.
1381
01:40:28,924 --> 01:40:30,718
When she walked into the house,
1382
01:40:30,743 --> 01:40:34,363
she looked in the living room,
and you know what she saw?
1383
01:40:34,397 --> 01:40:38,601
A rather overweight, balding, middle-aged
man with a feather on his head...
1384
01:40:38,634 --> 01:40:42,771
sitting cross-legged on the
floor, very gravely and gently...
1385
01:40:42,805 --> 01:40:46,509
telling a circle of totally
absorbed girls what it was like...
1386
01:40:46,542 --> 01:40:50,479
to be in a World War II
Japanese prison camp.
1387
01:40:52,415 --> 01:40:56,785
And she turned around and went
outside and got in her car...
1388
01:40:56,819 --> 01:41:00,723
and thanked God for being
married to a man like you.
1389
01:41:05,728 --> 01:41:08,964
Are you still there, Harry?
1390
01:41:10,899 --> 01:41:16,905
Yeah, well, look. Sometimes married
people get into an emotional straitjacket,
1391
01:41:16,939 --> 01:41:21,810
and it's kind of hard for them to express
how they truly feel about each other.
1392
01:41:27,616 --> 01:41:31,987
Total honesty is the key.
1393
01:41:32,020 --> 01:41:34,590
Yes, I've known Doris
for 20 years,
1394
01:41:34,623 --> 01:41:37,793
and I'm not ashamed to admit that
it's been one of the most intimate,
1395
01:41:37,826 --> 01:41:41,730
satisfying experiences
of my life.
1396
01:41:42,831 --> 01:41:45,000
My name?
1397
01:41:49,037 --> 01:41:53,676
My name is
Father Michael O'Herlihy.
1398
01:41:53,709 --> 01:41:57,980
Right. Oh.
1399
01:42:51,567 --> 01:42:54,870
It never changes, does it?
About the only thing that doesn't.
1400
01:42:54,903 --> 01:42:58,574
I find that comforting.
1401
01:42:58,607 --> 01:43:01,410
Even old Chalmers
hasn't changed.
1402
01:43:01,444 --> 01:43:04,680
He must be 75 by now.
1403
01:43:04,713 --> 01:43:10,453
You remember when we first met?
Even then, we called him old Chalmers.
1404
01:43:10,486 --> 01:43:13,088
He must've been the same
age then that we are now.
1405
01:43:13,121 --> 01:43:16,859
That I don't find so comforting.
1406
01:43:16,892 --> 01:43:19,862
We were very young.
Yeah.
1407
01:43:19,895 --> 01:43:23,799
Have we changed much?
Oh, sure we have.
1408
01:43:23,832 --> 01:43:28,203
I grew up with you. Remember all
those dumb lies I used to tell?
1409
01:43:28,236 --> 01:43:32,174
Yeah. How about me?
Have I grown up too?
1410
01:43:32,207 --> 01:43:36,479
I had the feeling you were
already grown up when we met.
1411
01:43:40,783 --> 01:43:43,719
Why is it every time I look at you,
I want to put my hands all over you?
1412
01:43:43,752 --> 01:43:48,657
That's another thing that hasn't changed.
You always were a sex maniac.
1413
01:43:53,796 --> 01:43:57,700
I'll start a fire.
Okay.
1414
01:43:57,733 --> 01:44:00,035
You know, I figured out with
the cost of firewood today,
1415
01:44:00,068 --> 01:44:04,873
it's cheaper to buy furniture,
break it up and burn it.
1416
01:44:04,907 --> 01:44:08,811
Are things that tight?
No. I'm okay.
1417
01:44:08,844 --> 01:44:12,047
I've been doing some
teaching at U.C.I.A. Ah.
1418
01:44:12,080 --> 01:44:16,151
What? Music?
Accounting.
1419
01:44:16,184 --> 01:44:18,687
With the way things
are happening out there,
1420
01:44:18,721 --> 01:44:22,224
it seems that figures are still
the only things that don't lie.
1421
01:44:24,893 --> 01:44:26,729
Doris, why'd you
sell your business?
1422
01:44:28,764 --> 01:44:32,568
How did you know about that?
I'll tell you later.
1423
01:44:32,601 --> 01:44:37,039
What made you do it?
A chain bought me out.
1424
01:44:37,072 --> 01:44:40,576
It was just the right offer
at the right time.
1425
01:44:40,609 --> 01:44:46,181
But what do you do with yourself now?
Oh, I read and watch TV...
1426
01:44:46,214 --> 01:44:50,986
and visit my grandchildren,
play a little golf.
1427
01:44:51,019 --> 01:44:54,723
You know, all the jet set stuff.
1428
01:44:54,757 --> 01:44:57,526
I thought you loved working.
1429
01:44:57,560 --> 01:45:00,696
Well, there was another factor.
1430
01:45:00,729 --> 01:45:04,099
Harry had a heart attack.
It turned out to be a mild one,
1431
01:45:04,132 --> 01:45:07,269
but he needed me
at the time, so...
1432
01:45:07,302 --> 01:45:10,839
Besides, it's not like I'm
in permanent retirement.
1433
01:45:10,873 --> 01:45:15,277
There's a local election in a couple of
months, and I've been approached to run.
1434
01:45:15,310 --> 01:45:18,747
On what ticket?
Independent.
1435
01:45:18,781 --> 01:45:21,183
Figures.
1436
01:45:21,216 --> 01:45:23,752
Harry's okay now?
Oh, yeah.
1437
01:45:23,786 --> 01:45:28,190
He runs four miles a day and
has a body like Mark Spitz.
1438
01:45:28,223 --> 01:45:33,161
Unfortunately, he still has a
face like Ernest Borgnine, but...
1439
01:45:36,098 --> 01:45:41,069
How's everything with you
and Harry emotionally?
1440
01:45:44,740 --> 01:45:47,743
Comfortable.
Comfortable?
1441
01:45:47,776 --> 01:45:50,746
Well, that's not such
a bad state to be in.
1442
01:45:50,779 --> 01:45:54,683
That word's been given a
bad reputation by the young.
1443
01:45:56,384 --> 01:46:00,288
Where's your luggage?
Still in the car?
1444
01:46:00,322 --> 01:46:04,092
I didn't bring any.
I can't stay.
1445
01:46:05,761 --> 01:46:08,831
Why not?
Look, I have a lot to say...
1446
01:46:08,864 --> 01:46:14,102
and a very short time to say
it, so I'd better start.
1447
01:46:14,136 --> 01:46:17,072
In the first place,
it turns out that...
1448
01:46:17,105 --> 01:46:20,008
Helen found out
about us 10 years ago.
1449
01:46:25,881 --> 01:46:30,185
When did you learn that?
Two months ago.
1450
01:46:31,987 --> 01:46:35,090
And she never confronted
you with it before?
1451
01:46:35,123 --> 01:46:38,894
No.
What made her tell you now?
1452
01:46:38,927 --> 01:46:43,031
She didn't. We have
a very close friend, Connie.
1453
01:46:43,065 --> 01:46:46,201
- Did... Have I ever mentioned her?
- No.
1454
01:46:46,234 --> 01:46:49,037
Well, Connie told me.
1455
01:46:49,071 --> 01:46:53,642
All those years,
and she never even hinted that she knew.
1456
01:46:58,146 --> 01:47:01,283
I guess that's the nicest
story I've ever told about her.
1457
01:47:01,316 --> 01:47:06,221
- Your wife is an amazing woman.
- She passed away, Doris.
1458
01:47:12,260 --> 01:47:15,931
I lost her six months ago.
1459
01:47:17,700 --> 01:47:20,803
It was very fast.
1460
01:47:24,807 --> 01:47:26,818
I'm sorry to blurt it out like that.
1461
01:47:26,843 --> 01:47:29,668
I couldn't think of a
graceful way to tell you.
1462
01:47:31,113 --> 01:47:34,049
It's so strange.
1463
01:47:34,082 --> 01:47:39,087
I never even met Helen, and I feel
like I've just lost my best friend.
1464
01:47:42,457 --> 01:47:46,128
Are the kids okay? The kids are great.
If it weren't for them,
1465
01:47:46,161 --> 01:47:49,865
I don't know if I'd have gotten
through this whole thing.
1466
01:47:49,898 --> 01:47:52,701
I wish you'd tried to reach me.
Well, I did.
1467
01:47:52,735 --> 01:47:55,738
That's how I found out
you'd sold the store.
1468
01:47:55,771 --> 01:47:59,341
They gave me
your home number, and I...
1469
01:47:59,374 --> 01:48:03,345
I let the phone ring four
times, and then I hung up.
1470
01:48:03,378 --> 01:48:06,081
But I felt better knowing you
were there if I needed you.
1471
01:48:06,114 --> 01:48:11,720
Oh, I wish you'd spoken to me.
Well, I didn't want to intrude.
1472
01:48:11,754 --> 01:48:15,257
I didn't think I had the right.
1473
01:48:15,290 --> 01:48:20,095
That's just terrible.
We should've been together.
1474
01:48:22,264 --> 01:48:25,968
You know, I've been thinking
about us a lot lately,
1475
01:48:27,435 --> 01:48:32,374
everything we've been through
together, things we've shared,
1476
01:48:32,407 --> 01:48:35,911
times we've helped each other.
1477
01:48:35,944 --> 01:48:39,214
Did you know we made love 113 times?
What?
1478
01:48:39,247 --> 01:48:44,987
I figured that out
on my Bomar calculator.
1479
01:48:45,020 --> 01:48:49,157
I think it's wonderful when
people know each other that well.
1480
01:48:49,191 --> 01:48:52,127
You know, there's nothing
about you I don't know.
1481
01:48:52,160 --> 01:48:55,363
You take two sugars, right?
No. One.
1482
01:48:55,397 --> 01:48:58,233
Okay. Uh...
1483
01:48:58,266 --> 01:49:02,270
Oh, well, okay.
Maybe I don't know everything about you.
1484
01:49:04,039 --> 01:49:07,275
You know, I don't know who
your favorite movie stars are.
1485
01:49:07,309 --> 01:49:10,345
And I couldn't remember the
name of your favorite perfume.
1486
01:49:10,378 --> 01:49:13,249
I racked my brain,
and I couldn't think of it.
1487
01:49:13,274 --> 01:49:14,349
That's funny.
1488
01:49:14,382 --> 01:49:16,351
It's My Sin.
1489
01:49:21,389 --> 01:49:25,828
But I do know that in 26 years,
I've never been out of love with you.
1490
01:49:27,395 --> 01:49:31,099
I think that's incredible.
1491
01:49:33,001 --> 01:49:37,105
- So what do you say, Doris?
- You wanna get married?
1492
01:49:37,139 --> 01:49:40,943
Married? We shouldn't
even be doing this.
1493
01:49:40,976 --> 01:49:43,445
I'm serious.
1494
01:49:47,382 --> 01:49:51,353
Oh, my God. You are.
1495
01:49:51,386 --> 01:49:56,124
Well, what'd you think I
was, just a summer romance?
1496
01:49:58,994 --> 01:50:02,230
A simple yes will do.
1497
01:50:03,498 --> 01:50:07,335
There is no such thing, my love.
1498
01:50:10,638 --> 01:50:14,009
What is it?
1499
01:50:14,042 --> 01:50:18,380
I was just thinking of how many times
I've dreamed of your asking me this.
1500
01:50:18,413 --> 01:50:24,286
You know, that's pulled me through a lot
of bad times. I wanna thank you for that.
1501
01:50:24,319 --> 01:50:27,389
What did you say
those other times?
1502
01:50:28,490 --> 01:50:31,559
I always said yes.
1503
01:50:31,593 --> 01:50:36,131
Why are you hesitating now? Do you realize
I'm offering you the opportunity...
1504
01:50:36,164 --> 01:50:39,134
to marry a man who has
known you for 26 years...
1505
01:50:39,167 --> 01:50:42,604
and can't walk by you without
wanting to grab your ass?
1506
01:50:42,637 --> 01:50:45,107
You always were a sweet talker.
1507
01:50:46,474 --> 01:50:48,543
Doris, will you marry me?
1508
01:50:52,547 --> 01:50:55,083
I can't.
1509
01:50:56,151 --> 01:50:58,286
Why not?
1510
01:51:01,456 --> 01:51:04,159
I'm already married.
1511
01:51:04,192 --> 01:51:07,395
You feel you have to stay
with him because he needs you?
1512
01:51:07,429 --> 01:51:12,334
No. No.
It's a lot of things.
1513
01:51:13,501 --> 01:51:16,471
Affection.
1514
01:51:16,504 --> 01:51:19,207
Respect.
1515
01:51:19,241 --> 01:51:22,310
And a sense of continuity.
1516
01:51:22,344 --> 01:51:25,547
I mean, we share
all the same memories.
1517
01:51:26,949 --> 01:51:30,252
It's comfortable.
1518
01:51:30,285 --> 01:51:36,091
Goddamn it. I was the one who brought
you back together six years ago.
1519
01:51:36,124 --> 01:51:39,394
Why did I do such a stupid thing?
Why was I so generous?
1520
01:51:39,427 --> 01:51:43,598
Because you felt the same way then about
Helen as I do now about Harry, that's why.
1521
01:51:43,631 --> 01:51:46,969
And besides, if you hadn't,
you might've been stuck with me for good,
1522
01:51:47,002 --> 01:51:50,005
and that idea
scared you to death.
1523
01:51:53,641 --> 01:51:57,345
You always could see through
me, couldn't you?
1524
01:51:57,379 --> 01:52:00,282
But that's okay, 'cause...
1525
01:52:01,516 --> 01:52:04,519
I've always loved
what I've seen.
1526
01:52:06,521 --> 01:52:09,992
Well, I want you now.
1527
01:52:12,294 --> 01:52:16,598
You can still have me once a
year, same time, same place.
1528
01:52:16,631 --> 01:52:19,534
Doris, I need a wife.
1529
01:52:21,069 --> 01:52:24,439
I'm just not the kind of man
who can live alone.
1530
01:52:24,472 --> 01:52:29,544
What I'm trying to say is that without
you, I'll probably end up with Connie.
1531
01:52:32,447 --> 01:52:36,484
Look, she knows all about us, and,
uh, she's not the kind of person...
1532
01:52:36,518 --> 01:52:40,355
who would go along with it.
1533
01:52:40,388 --> 01:52:43,491
I guess what I'm
trying to say is that...
1534
01:52:45,793 --> 01:52:49,031
we'll never
see each other again.
1535
01:53:03,278 --> 01:53:06,514
Doris, for God's sake, marry me.
1536
01:53:16,291 --> 01:53:18,460
I can't.
1537
01:53:27,069 --> 01:53:30,572
I wish there were something I
could say that would make you...
1538
01:53:30,605 --> 01:53:34,109
burst into tears
and run away with me.
1539
01:53:37,812 --> 01:53:42,584
Well, you know us Irish.
We never cry.
1540
01:53:45,687 --> 01:53:48,623
Yeah, well...
1541
01:53:52,127 --> 01:53:55,630
I have to catch a plane.
1542
01:54:06,808 --> 01:54:09,077
Who were
your favorite movie stars?
1543
01:54:13,148 --> 01:54:16,184
Laurence Olivier.
1544
01:54:16,218 --> 01:54:18,853
Marlon Brando.
1545
01:54:18,886 --> 01:54:21,223
Cary Grant.
1546
01:54:23,725 --> 01:54:26,060
Lon McCallister.
1547
01:56:02,490 --> 01:56:06,694
Okay. I'm back,
goddamn it.
1548
01:56:08,430 --> 01:56:12,467
- What about Connie?
- Connie is 87 years old.
1549
01:56:12,500 --> 01:56:15,603
What? Look.
I wanted you to marry me,
1550
01:56:15,637 --> 01:56:19,441
and I figured if you thought somebody
else wanted me, I'd stand a better chance.
1551
01:56:19,474 --> 01:56:23,345
Okay. Maybe I didn't
think things through.
1552
01:56:23,378 --> 01:56:26,414
I was desperate, okay?
1553
01:56:26,448 --> 01:56:29,917
Look. I don't even wanna discuss it.
I'm back, and I'm gonna keep coming back...
1554
01:56:29,951 --> 01:56:33,421
every year until our bones are
too brittle to risk contact.
1555
01:56:48,603 --> 01:56:50,772
♪ Hello
1556
01:56:50,805 --> 01:56:55,310
♪ It all started with hello
1557
01:56:55,343 --> 01:56:59,414
♪ On an evening long ago
1558
01:56:59,447 --> 01:57:02,950
♪ When an unexpected smile
1559
01:57:02,984 --> 01:57:05,287
♪ Caught my eye
1560
01:57:05,320 --> 01:57:07,489
♪ Hello
1561
01:57:07,522 --> 01:57:11,493
♪ If I'd smiled
and looked away ♪
1562
01:57:11,526 --> 01:57:15,663
♪ We would not be here today ♪
1563
01:57:15,697 --> 01:57:20,902
♪ To never say good-bye
1564
01:57:20,935 --> 01:57:26,007
♪ For the last time
I felt like this ♪
1565
01:57:26,040 --> 01:57:30,545
♪ I was falling in love
♪ I was falling
1566
01:57:30,578 --> 01:57:36,318
♪ Falling and feeling
I'd never fall in love again ♪
1567
01:57:36,351 --> 01:57:41,022
♪ Yes, the last time
I felt like this ♪
1568
01:57:41,055 --> 01:57:43,358
♪ Was long before I knew
1569
01:57:43,391 --> 01:57:47,962
♪ What I'm feeling now
1570
01:57:47,995 --> 01:57:51,299
♪ With you
1571
01:57:51,333 --> 01:57:56,438
♪ Yes, the last time
I felt like this ♪
1572
01:57:56,471 --> 01:58:00,442
♪ I was falling in love
♪ I was falling
1573
01:58:00,475 --> 01:58:02,510
♪ Falling and feeling
1574
01:58:02,544 --> 01:58:06,448
♪ I'd never fall in love again ♪
1575
01:58:06,481 --> 01:58:11,018
♪ Yes, the last time
I felt like this ♪
1576
01:58:11,052 --> 01:58:13,588
♪ Was long before I knew
1577
01:58:13,621 --> 01:58:18,560
♪ What I'm feeling now
1578
01:58:18,593 --> 01:58:27,469
♪ With you ♪
128232
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