All language subtitles for Greys.Anatomy.S19E20.720p.WEB.h264-ELEANOR

For decades, if we
wanted to see inside the brain,

we had to inject air into
a patient's spinal column.

What can I get you?

Uh, scotch, please.

Thank you.

It was painful.

♪ Show me where
your darkness lies ♪

It was described as torture.

♪ You don't ever have to hide ♪

♪ Oh, you can be yourself ♪

♪ Yeah, you can be yourself ♪

Then in 1971,

a British engineer
changed everything

when he performed
the first CT scan.

♪ Oh, you can be yourself ♪

♪ Yeah, you can be yourself ♪

What's on your mind?

Come on, spill.

♪ I don't care where it goes ♪

Simone, what happened
at your wedding?

No, don't do that.

Let's...

♪ Who knows you better? ♪

Stay here as long as we can.

♪ Who could love
you any more? ♪

♪ You can trust me completely ♪

♪ I'm just asking for
you ♪

♪ To be yourself ♪

♪ Oh, you can be yourself ♪

Schmitt's tied up in the ICU.

Wants me to cover the pit.

♪ Oh, and I don't
care who wins ♪

I should probably
check on Tobey anyway.

♪ Yeah, you can be yourself ♪

♪ I'm in love with
all your pages ♪

♪ I don't want to see it end ♪

♪ Oh, you can be yourself ♪

And for the first time,

we could see what was
happening inside the brain.

It was painless, convenient,

and an absolute game-changer.

Eight pounds, seven ounces.

And Kelly?

Cursing me.

She only let me out of the
house to come visit you

because I promised to bring home
a chai latte and nipple cream.

Oh, we actually sell
both of those things

right here at the hospital.

♪ You can trust me completely ♪

What's his name?

Sam.

It was Kelly's idea.

I'll come by tomorrow.

I'll be here.

Ohh...

Don't let him bother
you too much.

The wedding was
shorter than expected.

Dr. Lincoln sent
me to tag you out.

Oh, it's okay. I got it.

But he said that... I got it.

You can go.

You're in black scrubs.

That means at this moment,
you are an OB resident.

Dr. Lincoln is an attending.

Technically speaking,
he outranks you,

so if I'm good at my job...

Yasuda, in any color
scrubs, I outrank you.

Go cover the pit.

♪ Be yourself ♪

♪ Oh, you can be yourself ♪

Wow.

That guy really doesn't want
you to be alone with me.

What's the story?

But just because we could now
see inside a person's brain...

doesn't mean we know
what it's thinking.

Okay, so I'm guessing
you all received

the same cryptic
text that I did.

More rude than cryptic.
Didn't even open with a hello.

I'm hoping for a tour.

Sample
A is identical.

It could... It could
be a technical error.

Meredith? This
doesn't make sense.

It literally does
not make sense.

It's all wrong.

What is?

Everything.

Are you... okay?

We have to question everything
we know about Alzheimer's

if we're gonna cure it.

She was fine. She
was better than fine.

Well, her fractured rib
must've nicked her lung

and caused the pneumothorax.

Okay, we intubated her.
We re-inflated her lung.

Why isn't her pressure rising?

I don't know. Maybe
because she's 81.

They don't exactly
bounce back, Kwan.

She will, though. She has to.

We need to report
this to Dr. Altman.

We need to document
everything that happened

because the ethics
committee will need it.

Okay, well, what if we
wean her off the sedatives?

Can we extubate?

Damn it,
her pressure's still too low.

Oh, no. She's not
responding to fluids.

Max. Oh, my God.

When I left, she was
fine. I don't understand.

Her lung collapsed.

She's DNI. Why
is she intubated?

Who did this?

Who did it?!

It was me.

Over there. Great. Thank you.

Helm, you're back?

I was in the getaway van,
and now I have to pee.

I don't know what that means,
but there's a trauma coming in.

Yes, I'll change! I'll change.

I mean, I'll go change.

Yeah. Hey, grab
a gown. Let's go.

Got it.

What do we got?

29-year-old male, GCS 15, MVC.

Vehicle spun out of
control and hit a tree.

Suffered facial bruising...

It's okay, I'm a doctor.

I-I just think it's my
arm. It feels broken.

- And yes, potential injury to
the left arm. - Got it.

Adams, page ortho.
Let's get him inside.

Let's go.

Uh...

Her BP isn't
responding to fluids.

We need to put her on pressors

if we're going to
keep her alive.

Great, more things she didn't
want. Max was very clear.

She was DNI and DNR,

and Dr. Kwan blatantly
ignored that.

You can't keep going
against her wishes.

Before you do anything else,

you need to speak with
Maxine's medical proxy.

I can call her son.

Her medical proxy isn't her son.

It's... you.

Then it's
Dr. Millin's decision.

You either put her on pressors,

or you extubate her
and hope for the best.

Pressors will keep
her alive longer,

but it's more about
considering her...

Can you please just
be quiet for a minute?

I need to think.

Dr. Altman, is there a
chance she'll make it

if we remove the tube?

You know I can't answer that.

Uh, fine. We'll put
her on pressors.

I'm on it. Don't talk to me.

Okay.

Um, Schmitt?

Do you think that you could
just look inside my mouth

and see if there's like an
abscess or... or anything?

I mean, it... It's
on the left side.

On the bottom.

A-A-Anything?

No, but... but respectfully,
Chief, I'm not a dentist.

So, there's just
too much history.

We're better as friends.

Well, that explains why the
doctor who saved my life

now looks like he
wants to kill me.

He's in love with you.

Oh, no.

He's not. He's... He's...

He's living with you,
raising his kid with yours,

learning sign language?

As a friend.

No guy does all that for a
woman who's just a friend.

Well, you don't
understand our friendship.

Youdon't understand
your friendship.

It's not like that.

And honestly, I'm
getting a little tired

of having to explain
this to people.

Okay. Okay.

I owe my life to Dr. Lincoln,

so I should probably
get out of his way.

But he's had years to figure
out what I did in just minutes.

You're an amazing
woman, Dr. Jo Wilson,

and in a few weeks,

when I'm not hooked up
to all these machines

and you are no longer my doctor,

I'm gonna sweep you off
your feet like you deserve.

I should check on
my other patients.

Good.

You're chatting my ear
off, and I need to rest.

Dr. Sky to the NICU.

Dr. Akira Sky to the NICU.

Are you ready?

What? Ah, ready, yes.

Ready to kick cancer's
ass and go back to work.

That's right.

I took a couple days off

when I decided on the mastectomy
instead of a lumpectomy.

Good. But at least this way,

I don't need radiation
five days a week.

Right. How are you?

You here to spill more
tea? Let's hope not.

A failed wedding is
enough for one day.

Alright.

Oh, spoke too soon.

I'll check on you in recovery.

Okay.

Thanks.

Hi. Trey's here.

Here, as in in this
hospital here? Now?

Yeah, he came in as a
patient in trauma one.

Oh, my God. It's just
a minor car accident

with a possible arm fracture...

Crap.

Simone, it's minor!

Dr. Burchfield to Pediatrics.

Dr. Benita Burchfield
to Pediatrics.

The pressors seem to be working.

Max is stable.

For now.

She was sitting there talking,

and then all of a sudden,
she couldn't breathe,

and I had to make a
split-second decision,

and I chose to save her life.

Life?

I mean, look at her.

That's not life for her.

In fact, she considers
that not life

to the degree that she
had legal papers drawn up,

and then she signed them.

It's in her chart, it's
on a board in her room,

it's on her bracelet.

It is not for you to choose.

You have any idea the position
that you've put me in?

If we can't extubate,
I'll have to decide

whether we put in a
trach or a feeding tube.

And then if that doesn't work,

I might have to decide

to unplug my favorite
person in the world.

Where is she? Is she here?

Just let us finish
assessing you.

Trey, you have a left
comminuted humeral fracture.

It's gonna require a
plate in order to...

Align and stabilize the bone.

Can I still operate or not?

He's a second-year surgical
resident in Baltimore.

Is this your dominant hand?

No.Well, you'll be fine.

We'll know more about your
recovery once we get in there.

Yeah. This could be bad.

Trey, I'm so sorry.

You two know each
other? Don't ask.

It's because of him, isn't it?

Trey.

Piece of crap.

Whoa! Hey! Hey, hey!

That's my dominant hand.

Most people believe that
Alzheimer's is related

to the formation of amyloid
plaque in the brain.

People, as in, the top
scientists in the field.

You mean the people
with the loudest voices,

and they will shame anyone
who believes any other theory

other than the plaque theory,

and that's where most
of the funding goes.

And the only meds
that are approved

are meds that reduce plaque,

and those meds are supposedly
reducing the plaque.

Woop!

Is that not a good thing?

Well, it would be
if we could trust

everything that's
being published.

I met a young neuroscientist
out of Tennessee,

and he found evidence
of image-tampering

in some of the leading papers.

How long is she gonna do this?

I need to present an award.

Meredith, when's the
last time you slept?

Well, Jackson had to go to
London to manage a crisis,

so I called all of you here

because you all know me
better than anyone else does.

And I need to run this past
you before I tell anyone else.

Run what past us?

My possible new
theory on Alzheimer's.

Let me show you more data.

Oh, thank God!

Winston, Winston,
hey! Can you help me?

I'm trying to fasten my dress,
and Meredith keeps texting me.

You look...

Whew.

That's a dress.

And your hair...

Wow.

Wow, yourself.

Um... here.

Yeah.

Uh, congratulations.
Chief of Cardio.

Yeah, well, uh,
the previous chief

left me a disorganized mess.

Schedule's color-coded
by surgeon.

Grand rounds topics are
set until next year,

possible case studies
are labeled by procedure.

Yeah. It's a catastrophe.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

You know I'm Team Skywalker.

Why do I get a sense
there's a "but" coming?

I just got a second
chance and hit my stride,

the chief respects me,

and I don't need
to get dragged down

into a fight over
you and Griffith.

Well, I'm the one
who got punched.

And I can't live in a house
where people are fighting.

I'm gonna be working and
living with a couple again,

just like in college.

Okay, I...

So, we need some ground rules.

No sex in shared spaces,

no remnants of sex
in shared spaces,

no auditory anything

'cause I need at least
three full REM cycles

per night to kick ass at work,

and I refuse to not
kick ass at work.

I need an intern
for Trey's surgery.

Maybe not you.

Yasuda, call up and make sure
that they're ready for us, okay?

On it.

Keep an eye on
Sam Sutton for me.

Sure.

How long have you two been...

It wasn't like that. I
never cheated on you.

But you have feelings for him.

I didn't leave you
for another man.

I didn't. I left...

because I...

I'm not the person I was
when we got together.

After everything
that's happened,

blowing up my life in Baltimore,

moving here... it's changed me.

I'm...

I'm a different person.
I want different things.

You mean you want Adams.

What I don't understand
is you said yes.

You moved up the wedding.

Was any of it real?

After Baltimore.

I mean, did you still love me?

Yes.

Then we can get through this.

Trey.

I'll move here. We'll
slow things down.

We can figure it out.

I've figured it out already.
This isn't what I want.

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

You're an incredible person,

and I'm sorry I let
it drag on this long.

I wanted to do the right thing.

I was confused, and...

Let me clear something up.

Adams isn't good enough for you.

He's a screw-up.

He'll never learn because he has
a family name to back him up.

And if you decide
to be with him,

your whole trajectory changes.

Your life will fall apart,
and I'm not gonna be there

to help you pick up the pieces.

Max's pressure
has improved,

and we're weaning
her off pressors.

Hopefully, we'll be able
to do a sedation pause

and neuro exam soon.

What if she doesn't wake
up? What happens next?

Let's just try not to think
about that right now, okay?

Why aren't you yelling
at me right now?

Last year, I killed a patient

because I was sure I
knew how to save him,

and I didn't.

I learned more from that
mistake than any of the wins,

not because somebody
yelled at me,

but because it ate at me.

I would lie awake at night...

feeling the blood all over me

and how the... how the
scalpel felt in my hand,

replaying it over
and over in my mind.

I don't have to yell at you
because I've been there,

and I know you're already
doing it to yourself.

I saved a life.

I didn't end one.

He's making it really
hard not to yell at him.

What?

Olympic Village.

Ah.

"Assemble the greatest
talents in the world

and put them in one building."

Yeah, feels like it
was so long ago now.

Still one of the best
nights of my life.

Alright, let's do it.

Lightning round... Don't
think, just answer.

But we already know each other.

Oh. Okay.

Alright, if you had a dog,
what would you name it?

Oh. Ruth.

For a dog?

Why not?

Alright, a million dollars...

What would you do with it?

New boots.

It's free money.

You don't have to
get what you need.

I don't need them, I want them.

And you don't know what kind
of boots I'm considering.

Fair, alright.

Okay, your turn. Okay.

Dog's name? Marlin.

Oh, that's a good
name for a dog.

Yeah.

A million dollars?

I'd build a time machine.

I could go back in
time and tell my mom

I was nominated for a
Catherine Fox Award.

Your answers are so
much better than mine.

We should get dressed
and check in with Mer

before the pre-reception
for the nominees.

These things never
start on time.

Wow.

What he said.

Meredith, this is huge.

Right?

And you can't tell anyone
outside of this room.

Well, Catherine
asked me to speak

to the fundraisers tonight,
update them on my work.

If you tell them this,
you'll be written off.

Doctors who blow up
pre-existing ideas, sound ideas,

they're not seen
as "cutting edge."

They're seen as crazy.

And not only will you
jeopardize your relationship

with the foundation,

you could destroy
your entire career.

And if... ifyou're right,

it's gonna take you
five years to prove it

and another five years
to be widely accepted.

By then, you'll no
longer be published

or invited to conferences.

You will be forgotten.

You see it.

You see the data.

You have to admit there
is the possibility

that the plaque is not
causing Alzheimer's.

I see inconsistencies.

But, Mer, what you
are hypothesizing

insults decades of genius work.

It insults Derek's work.

If this institute is important,

if... if... if you
want it to continue,

you have to keep all
of this to yourself.

So should I not pursue my work?

Should we just let
the science catch up

and let hundreds of
thousands of people die?

That would be lying.

No. No, it's not lying.
It's, uh... It's discretion.

Look, I-I want you
to pursue your work.

Just do it on the side so
that your lab stays open.

I mean, if you make this public,

there's a possibility you
could lose your funding

and your reputation.

Maintain the respect that
you have built for yourself.

It's a protein
identification system.

It uses electricity to push
tissue samples through...

With protein through a gel
which separates the molecules.

Yeah, I know.

As a fellow, I did a
lot of bench research

and spent way too many hours
on one of these things.

Interns seem to be doing well.

Lucas says you've
been very supportive.

Yeah, you know, we... we...
We don't have to do this.

Do what?

Small talk. We
don't have to do it.

We just don't have to.

I-I told you I loved you,
you pretended not to hear me.

It doesn't matter anymore.

We've both moved on, and
you're happy out here.

That's good.

And you're clearly
breaking new ground.

What would you
do? Would you lie?

Oh, I don't know.

I guess it would
depend on how badly

I needed the money to
keep the work going.

But I don't know, did you
really come all this way

just to... just to
follow the rules?

'Cause that would
piss me off even more.

Just have
his doctors call.

You've done enough already.

Everything okay?

That was Trey's mom.

I just told her he's in surgery.

How'd that go?

They're really mad at me.

Well, it's not your fault that he
got into an accident... It is, Lucas.

He was coming here to see me
because I blew up his life,

and now he's a surgeon
with a shattered arm.

Well, Lincoln will
do the repair...

And you got punched... I'm fine.

And the money that my dad
gave me for the catering...

Hey, don't think about that now.

None of this would have
happened if it weren't for me.

What, are you supposed to just marry
someone you're not in love with?

Stop trying to let me
off the hook, Lucas.

I hurt people.

Sorry.

It's fine.

It's complicated. I get that.

I should go. Wait,
Lucas, I really...

No, I mean, uh, Yasuda asked
me to check on Sam Sutton,

so text me if you need me.

I really understand what
you love about Maxine.

She's not just a
funny, sweet old lady.

She's brave.

She's like no one I've ever met,

and she's generous
with her advice.

And the way she gives it...

reminds me a little of my mom.

She worries about me.

She doesn't always come
out and say it, but...

she'll leave a
plate of food out,

a cup of tea, sunscreen.

She'll "accidentally"
wash my towels

or bake my favorite muffins.

She...

She worries.

My own parents never
really did that for me.

She's awake.

Max.

Max, Max, Max.

Oh, no. No, no, no.

Can you hear me?
Don't touch the tube.

I know, I know, I know.

Relax, relax.

I'm here, I'm
here. Relax, relax.

It's okay, it's okay.

Please take your seats.

The awards show
will begin shortly.

Yes, this is a room filled
with medical genius...

Hi!

It's so good to see all of you.

Mwah! Hi!

I thought we were going to
see you at Meredith's lab.

Well, you know, work called.

I got stuck.

Mm-hmm.

Can I come and see it tomorrow?

Of course.

There she is!

I need to borrow Meredith
just for two minutes.

Darling... Yes.

The money table is
over here.Mm-hmm.

I need you to come and just give
them an update on your work,

uh, say thank you, and smile.

Easy.Easy.

Good luck.

Amelia, you're worse
than my two boys.

No phones at the table.

It's Mer's research.

As promised, I wanted
to introduce all of you

to Dr. Meredith Grey.

Pleasure to meet all of you.

Kenneth Turner, CEO of Rivco.

I have been following
your work for years.

I'm so appreciative
of what you're doing.

My mother was just
diagnosed with Alzheimer's

about a year ago.

It's been extraordinarily
difficult,

but you have been
a source of hope.

Any insider news
into your progress?

Um...

I do believe that we
have been focused on...

On the wrong thing,

which means your money
is not being well-spent.

Dr. Grey.

Well, the current studies
and the dominant theories

and the goal of the
new treatments...

I believe are designed
on a faulty premise.

Max, I know you're scared.

We are going to get you
more meds right now.

Uh, yeah, yeah, of course.

Okay. Here.

Max, Max, you...
You are not dying.

You don't have a
long-term condition...

You had a complication
from a simple rib fracture.

So, I had to make a decision,

and it might not have been
the one that you wanted,

but I think you were wrong,

and I think I was
right to fight for you

just like you taught me how
to fight for Enzo and his mom.

Okay, s-so just give us
24 hours on the vent,

and we'll run some
tests in the morning

to make sure that you
can breathe on your own,

and then I promise
we will take it out.

And in the meantime, we'll
give you some excellent drugs

and play some music
or whatever you like.

Tom Jones.

We'll play Tom Jones.

You're not Yasuda.

No, she got called
into the O.R.,

so I'll be taking
over for a bit.

Let me guess, the
other guy looks worse?

It's nothing.

Disgruntled patient?

Actually... yes.

You don't have to
worry about me.

You could be terrible,

and I can't even really
give you the finger.

You need to rest.

Yeah, yeah, I'll just lie here.

Completely immobilized and
starved for entertainment

while you withhold whatever
juicy story you have

from a man who can't even move.

There's a girl.

Okay, you just don't
need to finish.

I know the rest.

I feel funny.

Damn it.

Hold on, Sam.

Oh, God.

I need help in here!

And page Chief Altman!

Code blue.

Rest up, okay?

Let's keep an eye
on the swelling.

He says he doesn't
want any pain meds.

I have a feeling that's gonna
change in a couple of hours.

I'll let you know
how he's doing.

Nice to have you back, Helm.

So, how does it feel to be back?

Like someone took
kryptonite out of my shoe.

But I'm still coming down

from the most perfect
date I've ever had,

so might be that, too.

Wow, a busted wedding, driving
the bride's getaway van,

and starting your new job a
day early was a "perfect date"?

Yeah, well, my sense of
"perfect" might be a little odd,

but I got to spend
the day with you.

Sam Sutton.

Dr. Wilson must have left,

and he needs someone
else to entertain.

Crap, 911. Damn it, Adams!

Go. I'll call you tonight.

What the hell happened?

Oh, my God. I was
checking in on him,

and then his chest tube
started pouring blood.

He's lost over two liters.

His aorta must have transected.

He's bleeding out
into his chest.

The chart said it was
only Grade 1 this morning.

Alright, we need to get
him up to the O.R. right now.

I already asked them
to get it ready.

Alright, meet me up there, and
prep him as fast as you can.

What are you doing?

Taking a break.

Out here?

It's quieter.

Or it was.

You want me to leave?

Is that what you want?

What is going on with you?

Just wondering what
you want, that's all.

I...

I... I think that
you should move out.

I've been thinking
about it for a while.

I think that it's...

confusing for the kids.

So, this is about the kids?

Yes. Not Rocky the
Flying Squirrel?

Sam?

No, no, not
necessarily, but yeah,

I want to be able
to meet someone.

Well, you seem to
be doing just fine.

I'm not comfortable bringing
people home like you are.

I haven't done that in months.

I've been too busy
packing lunches

and showing up at... At
Luna's doctor's appointments

and being your shoulder to
cry on and your punching bag.

Why do I feel like you're
accusing me of something?

I have changed my entire life
to revolve around you, us.

I never asked you to!

And now, the moment
that we've all been waiting for,

the Catherine Fox Award.

This award is given to those
who have achieved excellence

in our field while
pushing boundaries.

Here to present
this year's winner

is a Fox recipient herself,

one of our most well-known
boundary pushers,

Dr. Meredith Grey.

Wait, why aren't they
calling me up there?

I took that plane ride from hell
just to present the damn award.

Well, this is a room
filled with medical genius. Ben!

Sorry I'm late. H...

I look around and
see those responsible

for incredible achievements
in medicine this year...

Bio-artificial hearts,
partial heart transplants,

stem cell therapy,
xenotransplantation,

gene editing.

But for the first time ever,

Dr. Fox, in her
infinite wisdom,

has decided that this is
the year to break the rules.

For the first time ever,
the award is going to go

to a non-surgical project,
even a non-nominee.

We are in the midst

of a national public health
crisis in this country.

I taught them. I taught them at my clinic.
Right now, in more than half of our states,

women are being forced to carry
not only unwanted pregnancies,

but unsafe pregnancies.

They are legally prohibited
from receiving care

that protects not only
their reproductive rights

but their survival.

And with these bans,

doctors are no
longer being trained

in these procedures,
life-saving procedures,

that are used in more
than just abortions.

But there is one doctor who is
trying to change all of that,

one procedure at a time,

one trainee at a time,

whose groundbreaking work in
protecting reproductive rights

and training the next
generation of doctors

on how to perform
reproductive care.

Dr. Miranda Bailey,

we would love to present you
with the Catherine Fox Award

for your significant
contribution

to medicine this year.

Get up there. Go!

Oh, my God.

Congratulations, and thank you.

Yeah!

Okay, okay, okay.

Oh, my goodness. It's
been such a long year.

Hi.

Okay, okay, okay.

Okay.

You're
debating the logic

of a non-nominee
winning an award.

I mean, kind of. Yeah.

Well, at least it was
Bailey who stole it...

I m... won, won.

At least it was Bailey who won.

If I'm gonna lose to somebody,
it might as well be her.

Oh, man.

Yeah, I-I couldn't stop
thinking of Baby Arlo tonight,

just wondering what
he'll do with his life.

Doesn't matter what he does.

He has a life now,
thanks to you.

Hey, thanks to us.

You want to get a drink?

Is this what we are now?

Married but apart

and having mind-blowing sex
whenever we're in the same room?

When we pull off medical
miracles together?

Sex and medical miracles were
two things we always got right.

Maggie...

should we get divorced?

Is that what you want?

I want to excel at my new job,

like, really tear it up.

And I want to save lives
and help patients like Arlo,

and I want to teach this next
generation everything I know,

and I want to break new ground.

And I don't want this to be
my last Fox Award nomination.

I want it to be the beginning.

Well, let's just
start with that.

We'll figure out the rest later.

Alright, come on, Miranda.

There are people waiting outside
to take their picture with you.

Oh, no. I ugly-cried.

I can't believe I
ugly-cried... I'll be outside.

In front of the most
accomplished surgeons

in the world.

Well, if it makes
you feel any better,

I plan on ugly-crying in
the car on the way home.

Hmm?

I'm going to lose
all of my funding

because I cannot bite my tongue.

Well, you'll get more. How?

Because you're you, and you
won't stop until you do.

Some of us find that annoying.

I just spent the last
hour in the lobby

and missed Bailey winning
a Catherine Fox Award

because I was reading all
of Meredith's research.

She is about to sink my
brother's entire legacy,

and the irony of that is a
little more than I can take,

so I'm gonna head to a meeting.

Do you want to come?

Um...

when we were on the plane
and it started to go down,

I tried to drink
Catherine's martini.

And did you? No, no.

Bailey knocked it
out of my hand,

but ever since, that's
all I can think about.

I mean, alcohol is all I see.

Well, of course it is.
You're an alcoholic.

Alcoholics love alcohol.

Sobriety is unbelievably
hard on a normal day,

and we... we thought
we were gonna die.

Yeah, I just... just wish
I could take the edge off.

Right.

Every day, I wish I could
just have a glass of wine

like everybody else.

Yeah, well, we're
not everybody else.

We're not.

Let's find a meeting.

Um, I-I-I better
wait for Catherine.

Alright.

I'm gonna find a meeting,

and I'm gonna text
you the address.

Your vodka tonic, sir.

♪ The mirror falls ♪

♪ Broken shards ♪

♪ Find your calm and carry on ♪

♪ The house is dark ♪

♪ The shadows long ♪

Hey.

♪ Whispered words
to keep us strong ♪

What's this?

Did you read it?

I, uh...

I don't understand.

I did pretend not to hear you.

I was tired and scared
and overwhelmed,

and I know that sounds stupid,

but I thought that what I
should do in that moment

was to focus on the children,
so that's what I did.

And as you can tell,

I'm still tired and
scared and overwhelmed

and I probably just blew
up my career, but...

I miss you.

Listen, I-I met Michael.

He's wonderful.

So great with the kids.

Then what
do you want from me?

Michael is Zola's
tutor. He's brilliant.

So, you went to my house?

Yeah, I went...
I went to your house.

I did.

Why didn't you mention
that in the lab?

Well, because you were
in mad-scientist mode,

and also...

like, Michael.

Michael?

Michael exclusively dates men.

Ah, okay.

Really?

You know, I went to your house

because I thought I
was gonna die today.

It's a long story, and
I didn't die, obviously,

but it made me realize
how badly I want to live

and that I've wasted years of
my life trying to avoid pain.

And I went to your house to say

that I never should
have let you walk away

and to say that I want
to live a whole life

with love and mess
and pain and you.

Well, okay, then.

Okay, then.

♪ Close your eyes ♪

♪ Frozen oceans of time ♪

♪ Trust the silence
when it gets too loud ♪

♪ A final word ♪

I already checked.

She's on the minimum settings.

That's good news.

You think I don't know that?

I'm confused.

You're mad that
she's doing better?

I'm mad at you!

No, no. I am... I
am enraged by you.

You are the most selfish,
arrogant, impulsive,

enraging person I have ever met.

You never consider
anyone else's feelings.

You never care about how anyone
else feels or what they want.

You put me in an
impossible situation today,

and I hate you for that.

I hate you so much that
I'm going to cry now,

because that's how
I express anger,

and I'm going to hate you even
more because you saw me cry,

and the worst part
is, you saved her.

You saved my favorite person.

So, now, I don't get
to just hate you.

I have to love you, too.

We'll do an
emergent thoracotomy.

We will get in there and
cross-clamp the aorta

as quickly as we can

to give anesthesia time to
catch up on blood volume.

Then we will do the repair.

Yasuda, you are on retraction.
Adams, you are on suction.

I need you to work as
quickly as you can,

so I need you both
to anticipate.

Absolutely. Got it.

His lap pads are ready.

Dr. Altman!

Oh, my God. Uh, page Hunt!

Page everyone!

Get a crash cart!

Do you have any
idea how many times

I've switched clinic
days with a fellow

or asked Amelia to
change the Scout schedule

so that I can be there
for you and Luna?

Do not put me and Luna

in the middle of your
constant need to save the day.

We are fine.

It's not that I want
to save the day,

it's that I care
about you and Luna.

Well, since it's all
such a chore for you,

moving out should
be a great option.

Right, since we're just
roommates, like you told Sam.

What was
I supposed to say?

Something that sounds like more

than two random
people co-habitating.

Well, you're really gonna
get hung up on semantics?

What does it matter?!

It's not semantics,
Jo, it's love!

I'm in love with you, Jo.

I'm... I'm so completely
in love with you.

How do you not see that?

I have loved you since
you were a freshman

and I was a senior,

and we wore cheesy crab hats

and served meals in buckets.

And I've almost said
it a hundred times.

I say it to myself, I
say it in the mornings

when you're mean to me before
you've had your coffee.

I say it when I see you
studying next to the fireplace.

I say it when...

you think I can't hear you
singing to Luna, and I can.

And I should've
said it out loud,

but I-I didn't want
to freak you out,

and then we
found out about Luna.

I love you...

and I'm gonna love you forever.

You unbelievable dummy.

I love you, too.

♪ I believe, I got
dreams of better things ♪

Sometimes, we
have to work extremely hard

to achieve focus
and perspective...

♪ Happening ♪

Dr. Altman,
you need to wake up!

Hey, do you hear me?

You are chief, and you
have children who need you,

and why won't you wake up?

What the hell happened?

Oh, she collapsed,
but she's breathing.

He's coding. He's
bleeding out. From what?

A transected aorta.

I just lost her pulse. What?

- Starting compressions.
- How's Sam?

He's critical. I'm
doing everything I can.

Alright, I need a
new gown and gloves.

We need to
cross-clamp the aorta.

Lucas, do not do anything
until an attending gets here.

We paged everyone.

No one's coming, and
we don't have time.

Pierce, she mentored you, yeah?

I'll open, but you
need to cross-clamp.

You'll do it faster. No,
Adams, do not do that!

Adams, my name is on his
chart. He's my patient!

Simone, he's dying.

But when we do...

Okay, gown and glove me.

The second you cut into his
chest, there's no turning back.

Chief Altman, you
do not die on me.

Alright, here we go.

Everything suddenly
becomes all clear.

Dr. Hunt, you're
needed in O.R. 1.

Yeah, I'll be there soon.

No, i-i-it's Dr. Altman.

You need to go now. Now.

You can see your path.

♪ Is where I hold
more regrets... ♪

You see your life.

♪ Whoa, whoa ♪

You see your purpose
and why you are here.

♪ Whoa, whoa, river deep ♪

♪ Whoa, whoa ♪

But just because you see it...

♪ That's alright with me ♪

She's in V-Fib. Clear!

♪ That I'm goin' to
the river ♪Teddy.

Teddy! Here.

Teddy!

Clear!

♪ Goin' to the river
to be redeemed ♪

Teddy, stay with us.

it doesn't mean
you'll live up to it.

Clear!

♪ I'm goin' to the
river to be redeemed ♪

Captions by VITAC...