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1
00:00:18,938 --> 00:00:21,911
Uh...
2
00:00:21,977 --> 00:00:23,681
Did someone switch Tina
to white noise?
3
00:00:23,748 --> 00:00:27,054
Tina, sweetie, why are you
making your sad mumble grumbles?
4
00:00:27,121 --> 00:00:29,158
I'm just nervous
about the oral report
5
00:00:29,225 --> 00:00:30,394
I have to give in class today.
6
00:00:30,460 --> 00:00:32,799
For Wagstaff
75th Anniversary Week.
7
00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:33,834
Ooh, right!
8
00:00:33,901 --> 00:00:35,939
The 75th anniversary thing.
9
00:00:36,005 --> 00:00:37,041
That school's
getting up there, huh?
10
00:00:37,107 --> 00:00:38,844
Yeah, it looks much younger,
11
00:00:38,911 --> 00:00:39,913
but it had a lot of work done.
12
00:00:39,980 --> 00:00:41,015
‐Boob job.
‐Mm.
13
00:00:41,082 --> 00:00:42,251
Our class had to make posters
14
00:00:42,318 --> 00:00:43,888
for the anniversary assembly.
15
00:00:43,955 --> 00:00:45,324
Also, breaking news‐‐
16
00:00:45,390 --> 00:00:47,261
fourth graders don't know
how to spell "anniversary."
17
00:00:47,328 --> 00:00:49,031
Well, Tina,
I'm sure you'll do great,
18
00:00:49,098 --> 00:00:50,367
even though sometimes you get
19
00:00:50,434 --> 00:00:52,071
a debilitating fear
of public speaking.
20
00:00:52,137 --> 00:00:53,941
Sorry, pretend
I didn't say that last part.
21
00:00:54,008 --> 00:00:56,212
It's not just that.
This is a speech with a partner.
22
00:00:56,279 --> 00:00:57,916
Zeke and I are doing
a report together.
23
00:00:57,983 --> 00:00:59,987
Wait.
Why is having a partner bad?
24
00:01:00,053 --> 00:01:01,523
I kind of have a reputation
25
00:01:01,590 --> 00:01:04,395
when it comes to doing
oral reports with partners.
26
00:01:04,462 --> 00:01:05,832
They call her "the cooler."
27
00:01:05,898 --> 00:01:07,902
She'll take your perfectly good
oral presentation
28
00:01:07,969 --> 00:01:09,773
and throw a bunch
of cold sweat on it.
29
00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:11,042
They also call her the cooler
30
00:01:11,109 --> 00:01:12,444
because you can sit on her
at the beach.
31
00:01:12,512 --> 00:01:14,816
I just don't want to let
my partner down, so
32
00:01:14,883 --> 00:01:16,019
I get all nervous and sweaty
33
00:01:16,085 --> 00:01:17,287
and I mess up
my note cards and...
34
00:01:17,354 --> 00:01:18,958
...my mouth gets all phlegmy,
35
00:01:19,025 --> 00:01:21,664
like right now,
'cause I'm thinking about it.
36
00:01:21,730 --> 00:01:22,966
Okay, calm down.
37
00:01:23,033 --> 00:01:25,237
You know, maybe just picture
everyone with a giant booger
38
00:01:25,303 --> 00:01:26,640
that's trapped
in their nose hairs
39
00:01:26,707 --> 00:01:28,711
and they look ridiculous.
Speaking of...
40
00:01:28,778 --> 00:01:30,113
‐Bob. Nose hairs.
‐Oh.
41
00:01:30,180 --> 00:01:31,416
Uh, well, I gotta go.
42
00:01:31,482 --> 00:01:33,521
Not because I had a booger
in my nose.
43
00:01:33,587 --> 00:01:35,257
I'm gonna go to
the Tuesday farmers market
44
00:01:35,323 --> 00:01:36,660
in Bog Harbor for produce.
45
00:01:36,727 --> 00:01:38,998
That's what Dad says
when he goes to his mistress.
46
00:01:39,065 --> 00:01:40,802
Tina, I'm sorry about
the sweat stuff.
47
00:01:40,868 --> 00:01:42,137
Y‐You get that from me.
48
00:01:42,204 --> 00:01:44,241
Sometimes I put rolled up
socks under my arms.
49
00:01:44,308 --> 00:01:46,379
No wonder this guy's
got a mistress.
50
00:01:46,446 --> 00:01:48,249
Hey, partner!
51
00:01:48,316 --> 00:01:51,022
I'm real excited
about our report today.
52
00:01:51,089 --> 00:01:52,525
Hey, Zeke. Uh, yup!
53
00:01:52,592 --> 00:01:54,128
I mean, I'm not nervous
or anything. I‐I feel great.
54
00:01:54,195 --> 00:01:55,665
Tell that to your pits.
55
00:01:55,732 --> 00:01:56,700
Ah!
56
00:01:56,767 --> 00:01:58,036
Anyone have an extra pair
of socks I can borrow?
57
00:01:58,103 --> 00:01:59,171
For... no reason?
58
00:01:59,238 --> 00:02:00,541
I have extra socks,
59
00:02:00,608 --> 00:02:02,344
but I'm wearing them
over my other socks.
60
00:02:02,411 --> 00:02:03,981
Why do you have
all those clothes on?
61
00:02:04,048 --> 00:02:07,121
Jocelyn and I are doing our
Wagstaff Anniversary report
62
00:02:07,187 --> 00:02:09,526
on what popular people wore,
past and present.
63
00:02:09,593 --> 00:02:12,397
We're gonna take off layers
to reveal popular people clothes
64
00:02:12,464 --> 00:02:14,803
from different decades.
Yes, you're jealous.
65
00:02:14,870 --> 00:02:17,107
Who's jealous?
Oh, them.
66
00:02:17,174 --> 00:02:18,677
‐
‐See ya later, Tina!
67
00:02:18,744 --> 00:02:20,013
We got this, right?
68
00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:21,149
Yeah, totally, thumbs up!
69
00:02:21,215 --> 00:02:23,821
Oh, God.
70
00:02:23,888 --> 00:02:24,990
Tina. Are you okay?
71
00:02:25,056 --> 00:02:26,359
Yeah, really great.
72
00:02:26,425 --> 00:02:28,029
Okay, I think I know
what's going on.
73
00:02:28,096 --> 00:02:29,398
Let's go to my office.
74
00:02:29,465 --> 00:02:32,872
This seems like a situation
for the Anxiety Society.
75
00:02:32,939 --> 00:02:34,375
So, Panicky Paul,
76
00:02:34,441 --> 00:02:37,247
Nervous Nellie, and Worry Murray
have all experienced
77
00:02:37,314 --> 00:02:39,719
what you're experiencing.
Isn't that nice?
78
00:02:39,786 --> 00:02:42,992
It's just‐‐ I have to give
an oral report with Zeke...
79
00:02:43,059 --> 00:02:44,996
‐
80
00:02:45,063 --> 00:02:46,065
I just got a text.
81
00:02:46,132 --> 00:02:47,134
Oh, my God,
it's from Cassie.
82
00:02:47,201 --> 00:02:48,303
She's a person I'm dating.
83
00:02:48,369 --> 00:02:50,040
Twice.
We went on two dates.
84
00:02:50,106 --> 00:02:51,743
Um, okay...
85
00:02:52,812 --> 00:02:53,914
Cassie had a nice time
last night.
86
00:02:53,981 --> 00:02:55,183
What do I write back?
87
00:02:55,250 --> 00:02:57,454
Maybe... say you had
a nice time, too?
88
00:02:57,522 --> 00:02:58,423
Ooh, that's good!
89
00:02:58,489 --> 00:03:00,460
Uh... Okay, Tina, back to you.
90
00:03:00,528 --> 00:03:02,765
Did the dolls work, or...
what are we doing?
91
00:03:02,832 --> 00:03:04,001
Uh... A little?
92
00:03:04,068 --> 00:03:05,705
Uh‐huh, uh‐huh.
See this crystal?
93
00:03:05,771 --> 00:03:06,907
Cassie gave it to me.
94
00:03:06,974 --> 00:03:08,042
That's... nice.
95
00:03:08,109 --> 00:03:09,378
She says it brings
good energy
96
00:03:09,445 --> 00:03:11,015
to whoever is
in possession of it.
97
00:03:11,082 --> 00:03:12,251
I‐I think that's how she put it.
98
00:03:12,317 --> 00:03:14,455
Are you saying
maybe it could help me?
99
00:03:14,522 --> 00:03:16,158
What?
Oh, because of your thing?
100
00:03:16,225 --> 00:03:18,029
With the nervousness?
Maybe.
101
00:03:18,096 --> 00:03:19,799
I mean, Cassie's so pretty.
102
00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:20,801
And her car was so clean.
103
00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:22,672
So, maybe she's right...
about crystals.
104
00:03:22,739 --> 00:03:23,339
So, yeah,
105
00:03:23,406 --> 00:03:24,576
go ahead and borrow it.
106
00:03:24,643 --> 00:03:26,178
Okay. I mean,
I guess it can't hurt.
107
00:03:26,245 --> 00:03:27,615
Unless it's sharp.
Ow.
108
00:03:27,682 --> 00:03:29,485
That part's a little sharp.
Thanks, Mr. Frond.
109
00:03:29,552 --> 00:03:31,222
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
How does this look?
110
00:03:31,289 --> 00:03:32,491
Maybe just one full line
111
00:03:32,558 --> 00:03:34,228
of exclamation points
instead of two?
112
00:03:34,295 --> 00:03:36,399
But then how will she know
I'm excited?
113
00:03:37,167 --> 00:03:38,336
He's back!
114
00:03:38,403 --> 00:03:40,240
Oh, thank God.
I was worried about you.
115
00:03:40,307 --> 00:03:42,344
Why? I was just at
the farmers market.
116
00:03:42,411 --> 00:03:44,081
Yeah, but you know
how farmers get.
117
00:03:44,148 --> 00:03:45,350
With their pitchforks.
118
00:03:45,417 --> 00:03:47,387
Whoa, that's a big box
of fruits and veggies.
119
00:03:47,454 --> 00:03:49,458
Yeah, and I got a huge discount
on all this, too.
120
00:03:49,526 --> 00:03:51,462
Look at this carrot.
It's got legs.
121
00:03:51,530 --> 00:03:53,333
We could put a little pair
of pants on it.
122
00:03:53,399 --> 00:03:54,803
And this tomato's all lumpy.
123
00:03:54,869 --> 00:03:57,107
Wait a minute, all this stuff
in here is weird‐looking.
124
00:03:57,174 --> 00:03:58,409
Yeah, that's why
it was so cheap.
125
00:03:58,476 --> 00:04:00,915
Also, it's all
about to go rotten.
126
00:04:00,982 --> 00:04:02,284
Uh... yum.
127
00:04:02,351 --> 00:04:04,355
People get so judgmental
about how food looks.
128
00:04:04,421 --> 00:04:07,829
I mean, ugly, soft,
discolored food is food, too.
129
00:04:07,895 --> 00:04:08,964
No, it's not. Sorry.
130
00:04:09,031 --> 00:04:11,369
I'm proud of you, Bobby.
You saved all this food.
131
00:04:11,435 --> 00:04:13,206
Yeah. I mean,
nobody at the farmers market
132
00:04:13,272 --> 00:04:14,576
said the word "hero,"
133
00:04:14,642 --> 00:04:16,412
but I think
they were thinking it.
134
00:04:16,479 --> 00:04:18,416
Hey, Linda, can you turn
the tomato that way?
135
00:04:18,483 --> 00:04:20,286
So it's not looking
right at me
136
00:04:20,353 --> 00:04:21,489
with its weird tomato eyes?
137
00:04:21,556 --> 00:04:23,126
Okay,
but the other side's worse.
138
00:04:23,192 --> 00:04:25,463
‐Ah!
‐And here comes Mr. Carrot.
139
00:04:25,531 --> 00:04:28,002
I'm coming to say hi
to you, Teddy.
140
00:04:28,069 --> 00:04:29,506
I don't like it!
I don't like it!
141
00:04:29,572 --> 00:04:31,475
...and in the '90s,
142
00:04:31,543 --> 00:04:34,381
popular people at Wagstaff wore
baby doll dresses
143
00:04:34,448 --> 00:04:37,020
like Wynona Ryder did
in Reality Bites,
144
00:04:37,087 --> 00:04:38,356
which is
my dad's favorite movie
145
00:04:38,423 --> 00:04:40,360
and also the password
for his laptop.
146
00:04:40,427 --> 00:04:42,464
And these are lace‐up jeans
from the 2000s.
147
00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:44,268
It's like your pants are shoes.
148
00:04:44,334 --> 00:04:45,704
And these are our clothes.
149
00:04:45,771 --> 00:04:48,109
Because we're great.
So, yeah, the end.
150
00:04:48,176 --> 00:04:49,712
Thank you, Tammy and Jocelyn.
151
00:04:49,779 --> 00:04:52,284
That was...
an example of what happens
152
00:04:52,350 --> 00:04:53,921
when I don't vet
your report topics.
153
00:04:53,987 --> 00:04:56,325
Okay! Tina, Zeke,
let's hear your report
154
00:04:56,392 --> 00:04:58,329
on Wagstaff's Amazing Alumni.
155
00:04:58,396 --> 00:04:59,566
You ready?
156
00:05:01,435 --> 00:05:02,638
Okay, let me know
when you're, uh,
157
00:05:02,705 --> 00:05:05,009
at the end of that deep breath
and we'll start.
158
00:05:05,076 --> 00:05:06,112
Ready.
159
00:05:06,178 --> 00:05:07,515
Hey, Tina, when you look back
160
00:05:07,582 --> 00:05:10,420
at 75 years of Wagstaff,
what do you see?
161
00:05:10,487 --> 00:05:11,556
What do I see?
162
00:05:11,623 --> 00:05:13,159
I Spy Amazing Alumni!
163
00:05:13,226 --> 00:05:14,896
‐ Nice.
‐Thanks.
164
00:05:14,963 --> 00:05:15,931
Hey, you know what, Zeke?
165
00:05:15,998 --> 00:05:17,869
Let's talk about
those amazing alumni.
166
00:05:17,935 --> 00:05:19,238
Alumn‐I'd love to!
167
00:05:19,304 --> 00:05:20,406
We're killing it.
168
00:05:20,473 --> 00:05:22,377
Tina, you knocked it
out of the park.
169
00:05:22,444 --> 00:05:24,682
Yeah, you didn't get all sweaty
like you usually do.
170
00:05:24,749 --> 00:05:26,686
It's true.
The report went pretty smoothly.
171
00:05:26,753 --> 00:05:28,189
And this thing
only stabbed me once.
172
00:05:28,256 --> 00:05:29,592
‐Whoa.
‐Is that a diamond?
173
00:05:29,659 --> 00:05:31,262
Did you steal that
from a scepter?
174
00:05:31,328 --> 00:05:32,430
Oh. No, it's a crystal.
175
00:05:32,497 --> 00:05:33,600
Mr. Frond let me borrow it
176
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,236
'cause I was nervous
about our report.
177
00:05:35,303 --> 00:05:36,806
The woman he's dating
gave it to him.
178
00:05:36,873 --> 00:05:38,342
She said it brings
good energy.
179
00:05:38,409 --> 00:05:40,681
‐Good energy like a protein bar?
‐Mm, no.
180
00:05:40,748 --> 00:05:42,718
Tina, Zeke,
I'm supposed to select
181
00:05:42,785 --> 00:05:45,356
some of the oral reports
to be given again tomorrow
182
00:05:45,423 --> 00:05:47,227
at the Wagstaff
Anniversary assembly
183
00:05:47,294 --> 00:05:48,564
and I'm choosing you guys.
184
00:05:48,630 --> 00:05:50,366
‐Oh, my God!
‐Do what?
‐Yep.
185
00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:52,037
And Tammy, Jocelyn,
186
00:05:52,103 --> 00:05:54,374
since you two were
the only other people
187
00:05:54,441 --> 00:05:55,744
who didn't just read from
188
00:05:55,811 --> 00:05:57,582
the school website's
"about us" section,
189
00:05:57,648 --> 00:05:59,384
you will also be presenting
your report at the assembly.
190
00:05:59,451 --> 00:06:00,754
Wow.
191
00:06:00,821 --> 00:06:01,388
I mean, yay!
192
00:06:01,455 --> 00:06:02,692
What do you say, Tina?
193
00:06:02,758 --> 00:06:04,596
You up for doing this
again tomorrow?
194
00:06:04,662 --> 00:06:06,131
You can do it if I'm with you,
Tina.
195
00:06:06,198 --> 00:06:07,467
Also, it might feel cool
196
00:06:07,535 --> 00:06:08,837
if you press me
to your face right now.
197
00:06:08,904 --> 00:06:10,741
Or do it later, maybe.
People might not get it.
198
00:06:10,808 --> 00:06:13,312
Here's an oral report, Zeke‐‐
Let's do it!
199
00:06:13,379 --> 00:06:15,116
That's not really
a report, but yeah!
200
00:06:19,391 --> 00:06:20,728
Tina, I'm so proud of you!
201
00:06:20,794 --> 00:06:23,032
My little lordy lordy,
look who's doing her report‐y
202
00:06:23,099 --> 00:06:24,502
in front of the whole school!
203
00:06:24,569 --> 00:06:26,740
Yeah, you went from scaredy‐cat
to She's All That.
204
00:06:26,806 --> 00:06:30,480
So, Tina, you think a crystal
made you do well on your report?
205
00:06:30,547 --> 00:06:32,450
I mean, I don't know
if I like your tone.
206
00:06:32,518 --> 00:06:35,524
But yes. Maybe.
I'm not sure.
207
00:06:35,591 --> 00:06:37,327
I'm just saying, it could be
that you practiced a lot.
208
00:06:37,394 --> 00:06:38,797
Like, over and over.
209
00:06:38,864 --> 00:06:40,366
Like, a few times, I thought
you were talking to me,
210
00:06:40,433 --> 00:06:41,970
'cause you were staring
right at me
211
00:06:42,037 --> 00:06:43,039
and I said "What, Tina?"
212
00:06:43,105 --> 00:06:44,909
And you just kept talking
about alumni.
213
00:06:44,976 --> 00:06:47,147
Look. All I can say is
before I got this crystal,
214
00:06:47,213 --> 00:06:49,351
I was the cooler,
and then yesterday I wasn't.
215
00:06:49,418 --> 00:06:50,587
I was the... furnace.
216
00:06:50,654 --> 00:06:52,257
‐The Her‐nace.
‐Uh, Mom,
217
00:06:52,324 --> 00:06:53,760
is this dinner?
218
00:06:53,827 --> 00:06:55,029
It's, like, all vegetables
219
00:06:55,096 --> 00:06:56,700
and I don't have
enough places to hide them.
220
00:06:56,766 --> 00:06:58,770
Well, your dad bought
a giant box of weird produce
221
00:06:58,837 --> 00:07:00,473
for the restaurant
and there's no way
222
00:07:00,541 --> 00:07:02,210
we're gonna be able
to use it all down there,
223
00:07:02,277 --> 00:07:03,379
so I brought some up here.
224
00:07:03,446 --> 00:07:04,481
And this is our life now.
225
00:07:04,549 --> 00:07:06,185
I smell a reality show.
226
00:07:06,251 --> 00:07:09,358
Hey, you kids want to take
these apples to school?
227
00:07:09,424 --> 00:07:10,360
Give 'em to your teachers?
228
00:07:10,426 --> 00:07:12,130
Are you sure that's an apple?
229
00:07:12,197 --> 00:07:13,600
It's fine. It's natural.
230
00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:15,403
That's how apples look
sometimes.
231
00:07:15,470 --> 00:07:16,940
It kinda looks like
Dad's butt.
232
00:07:17,006 --> 00:07:19,010
‐But not as red.
‐Oh, yeah. It does.
233
00:07:19,077 --> 00:07:20,480
Mm.
234
00:07:21,215 --> 00:07:22,518
Hey, Mr. Frond. So...
235
00:07:22,585 --> 00:07:24,020
‐about this crystal
you loaned me...
‐Uh‐huh...
236
00:07:24,087 --> 00:07:26,392
Um, is it okay if I keep it
for the assembly today?
237
00:07:26,458 --> 00:07:27,661
Uh, yeah, sure.
238
00:07:27,728 --> 00:07:29,064
Big things are happening,
Tina.
239
00:07:29,131 --> 00:07:31,536
I'm asking Cassie out
on a third date.
240
00:07:31,603 --> 00:07:32,772
What do you think of this?
241
00:07:32,838 --> 00:07:34,542
"Want to come over
for dinner tonight?
242
00:07:34,609 --> 00:07:35,911
"I make a mean casserole.
243
00:07:35,978 --> 00:07:37,982
"Or in your case,
a Cassie‐role.
244
00:07:38,048 --> 00:07:40,554
"LOL. I told you
I can be funny sometimes.
245
00:07:40,621 --> 00:07:42,892
Anyway,
this is Phillip Frond."
246
00:07:42,958 --> 00:07:43,860
Um... Perfect?
247
00:07:43,927 --> 00:07:47,033
Great. Adding a heart,
heart, heart, heart,
248
00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:48,235
heart and send.
249
00:07:48,302 --> 00:07:50,206
You got this, Zeke.
250
00:07:50,273 --> 00:07:51,442
There's my partner!
251
00:07:51,509 --> 00:07:52,678
‐Don't talk!
‐What are you guys doing?
252
00:07:52,745 --> 00:07:54,247
Zeke is trying
to break his record
253
00:07:54,314 --> 00:07:57,320
for how long he can hold up
a pencil with his lip.
254
00:07:57,387 --> 00:07:58,422
‐
‐You know, I never think
255
00:07:58,489 --> 00:07:59,625
school's gonna be interesting
256
00:07:59,692 --> 00:08:01,094
and then something
like this happens.
257
00:08:01,161 --> 00:08:02,998
Oh, my gosh, Zeke,
three more seconds.
258
00:08:03,065 --> 00:08:04,134
Two. One.
259
00:08:04,201 --> 00:08:05,436
New record!
260
00:08:05,504 --> 00:08:07,307
I'm the holding up a pencil
with my lip champ!
261
00:08:07,373 --> 00:08:08,844
I think you can quit school now.
262
00:08:08,910 --> 00:08:11,248
Hey! I bet it was because
Tina was here.
263
00:08:11,315 --> 00:08:12,685
‐With the crystal.
‐Oh, yeah.
264
00:08:12,751 --> 00:08:14,822
Hey, Tina, can I borrow
the crystal for PE today?
265
00:08:14,889 --> 00:08:16,793
We're running hurdles and
I want to clear all of them.
266
00:08:16,860 --> 00:08:18,663
So I don't hit my penis
like last time.
267
00:08:18,730 --> 00:08:21,603
Uh... No.
Mr. Frond trusted me with it
268
00:08:21,669 --> 00:08:23,573
and I don't think
I should lend it out.
269
00:08:23,640 --> 00:08:24,809
Hey, I wasn't holding
the crystal
270
00:08:24,876 --> 00:08:26,478
when I broke
my lip pencil record.
271
00:08:26,546 --> 00:08:27,848
Tina was just
standing near me.
272
00:08:27,915 --> 00:08:29,217
Maybe if she's just there,
273
00:08:29,284 --> 00:08:30,453
you won't hit your poor penis.
274
00:08:30,521 --> 00:08:32,357
Oh, yeah.
Tina, could you do that?
275
00:08:32,423 --> 00:08:34,595
‐Sure. I guess.
‐Great, let's go.
276
00:08:34,662 --> 00:08:37,066
Huh. They think Tina
and her crystal have powers.
277
00:08:37,133 --> 00:08:39,337
That rock could make us
some paper.
278
00:08:39,404 --> 00:08:42,176
And maybe some money, too.
279
00:08:42,811 --> 00:08:45,751
Oh, sir! Don't forget
your free fruit or vegetable.
280
00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:48,222
‐What?
‐Yeah, one with every meal.
281
00:08:48,289 --> 00:08:49,491
‐Take it!
‐Oh...
282
00:08:49,559 --> 00:08:51,194
I think I'm just gonna go?
283
00:08:51,261 --> 00:08:53,098
Sorry, Linda. His loss.
284
00:08:53,165 --> 00:08:54,334
Yeah. You want it, Mort?
285
00:08:54,401 --> 00:08:55,671
Uh...
286
00:08:55,737 --> 00:08:56,873
‐Here's your burger, Teddy.
‐Oh, thanks.
287
00:08:56,940 --> 00:08:58,743
Whoa. What's that?
What's happening?
288
00:08:58,810 --> 00:09:00,581
Uh, we're trying out
a new thing.
289
00:09:00,647 --> 00:09:02,585
A side salad is included
with your meal.
290
00:09:02,651 --> 00:09:04,589
Eh, no thanks. It looks weird.
291
00:09:04,655 --> 00:09:06,358
It doesn't matter
what it looks like, Teddy.
292
00:09:06,425 --> 00:09:07,460
Close your eyes and eat it.
293
00:09:07,528 --> 00:09:08,830
Bob, I know what you're doing.
294
00:09:08,897 --> 00:09:10,834
You're trying to get rid of
your weird vegetables.
295
00:09:10,901 --> 00:09:12,236
I'm not a garbage disposal.
296
00:09:12,303 --> 00:09:14,909
You kind of are. You ate
that lemon rind that time.
297
00:09:14,976 --> 00:09:15,744
Oh, this again?
298
00:09:15,811 --> 00:09:17,480
You put a lemon wedge
on my plate.
299
00:09:17,548 --> 00:09:18,783
What do you think
a guy's gonna do?
300
00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:21,021
At least it was
a normal‐looking lemon.
301
00:09:21,088 --> 00:09:22,090
Bob, let's face it.
302
00:09:22,156 --> 00:09:24,027
Even with the salads
and the free ugly food bowl,
303
00:09:24,094 --> 00:09:26,532
we're not gonna get through all
this stuff before it goes bad.
304
00:09:26,599 --> 00:09:28,469
I think we might have
to throw out the food
305
00:09:28,536 --> 00:09:29,905
we didn't want
anyone to throw out.
306
00:09:29,972 --> 00:09:31,876
‐Don't say that!
‐I mean,
what are we supposed to do
307
00:09:31,943 --> 00:09:33,913
with this sad, old cucumber
that's at the end of its life?
308
00:09:33,980 --> 00:09:36,018
Oh, actually,
this one's going to Mort.
309
00:09:36,084 --> 00:09:37,220
Right. Yay.
310
00:09:37,286 --> 00:09:38,690
Wait! That's it!
311
00:09:38,757 --> 00:09:41,395
I‐I know what we can do!
We'll just do what Mort does.
312
00:09:41,461 --> 00:09:42,564
Eat real slow
313
00:09:42,631 --> 00:09:44,234
‐and chew a million times?
‐What?
314
00:09:44,300 --> 00:09:45,436
‐We pickle it.
‐
315
00:09:45,504 --> 00:09:47,574
Ooh! Good idea, Bob!
316
00:09:47,641 --> 00:09:49,277
Why is that like what I do?
317
00:09:49,344 --> 00:09:50,647
You know, like embalming.
318
00:09:50,714 --> 00:09:52,551
That's not even really...
Okay, never mind.
319
00:09:52,618 --> 00:09:55,022
Ooh! All of the sudden
I'm feeling picklish!
320
00:09:55,089 --> 00:09:55,691
All right!
321
00:09:55,757 --> 00:09:57,795
Tina, my favorite sister...
322
00:09:57,861 --> 00:10:00,199
‐Hey!
‐And there's the crystal.
323
00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:01,034
Good, good.
324
00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:02,403
You know, I've been thinking.
325
00:10:02,470 --> 00:10:04,575
You and this crystal could
help a lot of people.
326
00:10:04,642 --> 00:10:06,011
And I feel like it's our duty
327
00:10:06,078 --> 00:10:08,550
to find these people
and ask for a small fee
328
00:10:08,616 --> 00:10:10,219
in order for you to stand
next to them.
329
00:10:10,286 --> 00:10:11,723
‐Uh...
‐You love it.
330
00:10:11,789 --> 00:10:12,691
Anyway, here's Peter Pescadero.
331
00:10:12,758 --> 00:10:14,729
And for the low,
low price of fifty cents,
332
00:10:14,795 --> 00:10:16,632
he'd like
some crystal Tina time.
333
00:10:16,699 --> 00:10:18,235
‐Wait. What?
‐I've been working on
334
00:10:18,302 --> 00:10:19,538
my breakdancing moves,
335
00:10:19,605 --> 00:10:21,274
but I still can't crack
the windmill.
336
00:10:21,341 --> 00:10:23,847
There's a crack in my windmill.
This guy.
337
00:10:23,913 --> 00:10:26,351
Could you just stand near me
while I practice for one second?
338
00:10:26,418 --> 00:10:27,721
Oh. I guess...
339
00:10:27,788 --> 00:10:29,558
But I can't promise anything
is going to happen.
340
00:10:29,625 --> 00:10:31,294
You can do this, Peter.
341
00:10:31,361 --> 00:10:33,298
Windmill...!
342
00:10:33,365 --> 00:10:35,670
He's doing it. I think.
343
00:10:35,737 --> 00:10:37,775
Okay, Rudy,
go ask Chloe your question.
344
00:10:37,841 --> 00:10:40,412
I mean, I still think
she's a dumb shampoo bottle
345
00:10:40,479 --> 00:10:41,616
in the shape of a person.
346
00:10:41,682 --> 00:10:43,385
But you paid your money,
so have at it.
347
00:10:43,452 --> 00:10:44,922
Bring it home, Rudy.
348
00:10:44,989 --> 00:10:47,426
Hey, Chloe. How about you and I
be science partners today?
349
00:10:47,493 --> 00:10:50,499
Um, I was gonna be
Emmy Butler's partner today.
350
00:10:50,567 --> 00:10:51,969
‐Oh.
‐But then she got sick,
351
00:10:52,036 --> 00:10:54,809
which is gross, so yeah.
Just for today.
352
00:10:54,875 --> 00:10:56,979
And maybe you do all
the experiments for both of us.
353
00:10:57,046 --> 00:10:59,450
'Cause I don't like wearing
the goggles. They hurt my hair.
354
00:10:59,518 --> 00:11:00,720
‐Yes!
‐Barf.
355
00:11:00,787 --> 00:11:02,524
I can't believe I'm doing this.
356
00:11:02,591 --> 00:11:03,693
Eh, what the heck?
357
00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:05,329
It's for online poker.
358
00:11:05,396 --> 00:11:06,866
I never go all in like this.
359
00:11:06,933 --> 00:11:08,670
But screw it, I like this hand.
360
00:11:08,736 --> 00:11:10,206
Is it a royal flush?
361
00:11:10,272 --> 00:11:11,642
That's the only poker hand
I know
362
00:11:11,709 --> 00:11:13,078
because it sounds like
a fancy poop.
363
00:11:13,145 --> 00:11:14,280
‐
364
00:11:14,347 --> 00:11:16,084
Oh, my God, I won! I won!
365
00:11:16,151 --> 00:11:18,422
You know, the right thing
to do is to give us half.
366
00:11:18,488 --> 00:11:20,292
‐No.
‐We'll talk later.
367
00:11:20,359 --> 00:11:21,996
Today is the best day
368
00:11:22,063 --> 00:11:23,131
of this young man's life.
369
00:11:23,198 --> 00:11:25,537
I finally got the corner piece
of the mac and cheese.
370
00:11:25,604 --> 00:11:27,106
‐Crystal worked again, huh?
‐Yup.
371
00:11:27,173 --> 00:11:29,110
Every other time I've asked,
Hildy said,
372
00:11:29,177 --> 00:11:31,214
"You get what you get
and you don't get upset."
373
00:11:31,281 --> 00:11:33,352
But this time,
Tina's crystal was there
374
00:11:33,418 --> 00:11:35,456
and now I'm
in the corner suite, baby!
375
00:11:35,523 --> 00:11:36,959
Well, eat up.
376
00:11:37,026 --> 00:11:38,596
We got some more crystal
customers booked after lunch.
377
00:11:38,663 --> 00:11:40,065
Actually, I was thinking
378
00:11:40,132 --> 00:11:41,636
we should give
the crystal a rest.
379
00:11:41,702 --> 00:11:43,071
I'm not sure exactly
how it works,
380
00:11:43,138 --> 00:11:45,577
but, uh... maybe we should
save some of its powers
381
00:11:45,644 --> 00:11:46,946
for me and the assembly?
382
00:11:47,013 --> 00:11:48,583
I mean, I don't know
how to recharge this thing.
383
00:11:48,650 --> 00:11:49,752
I bet Billy Crystal would know.
384
00:11:49,818 --> 00:11:51,154
Tina! There you are.
385
00:11:51,221 --> 00:11:53,960
Cassie said yes
to having Cassie‐role with me.
386
00:11:54,027 --> 00:11:55,630
Also, she asked me
about the crystal
387
00:11:55,697 --> 00:11:57,133
and I said I was enjoying it
very much.
388
00:11:57,199 --> 00:11:59,470
So I will be needing it back
after you give your speech.
389
00:11:59,538 --> 00:12:00,774
Ah!
390
00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:01,976
You okay, Jocelyn?
391
00:12:02,043 --> 00:12:04,515
I'm fine.
I tripped on my jean laces.
392
00:12:04,581 --> 00:12:07,654
So, Tina, as I was saying,
I'll need the crystal back.
393
00:12:07,721 --> 00:12:10,125
Okay, Mr. Frond. I'll give it
back to you after the assembly.
394
00:12:10,192 --> 00:12:11,762
And don't worry,
I'm taking good care of it.
395
00:12:11,829 --> 00:12:13,098
Oh, my God! It's gone!
396
00:12:13,165 --> 00:12:14,702
(high‐
What do you mean, "it's gone"?
397
00:12:14,768 --> 00:12:16,338
It was right here
just a second ago!
398
00:12:16,404 --> 00:12:17,774
So was my mac and cheese!
399
00:12:17,841 --> 00:12:19,878
Oh, no. It's there.
Hi, you.
400
00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:24,989
(high‐
Where's Cassie's crystal?
401
00:12:25,055 --> 00:12:26,826
Yeah, Tina!
Where's Cassie's crystal?
402
00:12:26,892 --> 00:12:28,663
It was right there!
On the table!
403
00:12:28,730 --> 00:12:30,867
Ugh. One of the alumni keeps
texting me.
404
00:12:30,934 --> 00:12:32,336
He wants to know
where to park his scooter.
405
00:12:32,403 --> 00:12:34,908
Tina, I need the crystal back
by the end of the day.
406
00:12:34,975 --> 00:12:37,413
Or else my Cassie‐role
is grass.
407
00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:38,850
Oh, my God.
408
00:12:38,916 --> 00:12:40,787
If we don't find it,
my Cassie‐role is grass, too!
409
00:12:40,854 --> 00:12:42,156
I'll have to do
the report with Zeke
410
00:12:42,223 --> 00:12:44,160
in front of the whole school
with no crystal!
411
00:12:44,227 --> 00:12:45,630
Someone must've stolen it.
412
00:12:45,697 --> 00:12:47,466
And during peak
crystal business hours.
413
00:12:47,534 --> 00:12:48,803
We gotta find this monster.
414
00:12:48,870 --> 00:12:50,840
And we'll start
right after lunch.
415
00:12:50,907 --> 00:12:52,143
‐Gene...
‐Fine.
416
00:12:52,209 --> 00:12:53,980
But the mac and cheese
is coming with us.
417
00:12:54,047 --> 00:12:57,119
♪ Crystal, crystal, crystal ♪
418
00:12:58,055 --> 00:13:01,862
♪ Who can pull
the missing crystal? ♪
419
00:13:01,929 --> 00:13:05,235
♪ Distracting just
to find the crystal ♪
420
00:13:06,104 --> 00:13:08,743
♪ Crystal, crystal,
crystal, crystal. ♪
421
00:13:10,947 --> 00:13:12,851
♪ We're pickling ♪
422
00:13:12,918 --> 00:13:16,191
♪ Just like
the cavemen used to do. ♪
423
00:13:16,257 --> 00:13:17,561
Here are all the jars we have.
424
00:13:17,627 --> 00:13:19,297
Oh, God.
That's a lot of smell.
425
00:13:19,363 --> 00:13:21,502
‐What smell?
‐The vinegar. Ugh.
426
00:13:21,569 --> 00:13:22,771
It's really strong.
427
00:13:22,838 --> 00:13:24,373
We might've pickled
our whole restaurant.
428
00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:25,543
Wh‐Why can't I smell it?
429
00:13:25,610 --> 00:13:27,747
You're pickled. Go to the
basement and come back up.
430
00:13:27,814 --> 00:13:30,185
Okay...
Going down, going down.
431
00:13:30,252 --> 00:13:32,323
It's really dirty down here,
we should clean it.
432
00:13:32,389 --> 00:13:34,193
Turning around and...
Oh, God!
433
00:13:34,260 --> 00:13:36,665
What have we done?
You did this to us!
434
00:13:36,732 --> 00:13:38,536
I'm sorry! I thought I did good!
435
00:13:38,603 --> 00:13:40,372
The produce is cursed, Bob!
436
00:13:40,439 --> 00:13:41,542
No! They're just ugly!
437
00:13:41,609 --> 00:13:42,811
Same thing!
438
00:13:42,878 --> 00:13:44,380
This is going to destroy
439
00:13:44,447 --> 00:13:45,850
everything we built together.
440
00:13:45,917 --> 00:13:47,253
Wait, I can't smell it anymore.
441
00:13:47,319 --> 00:13:48,856
Yeah. Me, neither.
442
00:13:48,923 --> 00:13:50,125
‐Should we keep pickling?
‐Yeah, it's kinda fun.
443
00:13:50,192 --> 00:13:52,831
♪ Picklin', picklin'... ♪
444
00:13:52,898 --> 00:13:54,935
Uh, the assembly's
in one hour.
445
00:13:55,002 --> 00:13:56,605
We'll never find the crystal
before then.
446
00:13:56,672 --> 00:13:57,807
There it is!
447
00:13:57,874 --> 00:13:59,443
The crystal!
Tammy has it.
448
00:13:59,511 --> 00:14:00,647
What? No, I don't!
449
00:14:00,713 --> 00:14:01,782
Wait a minute.
450
00:14:01,849 --> 00:14:03,351
You had Jocelyn
create a distraction
451
00:14:03,418 --> 00:14:06,457
in the cafeteria with her big,
dramatic fall, didn't you?
452
00:14:06,525 --> 00:14:09,230
No. You know Jocelyn's knees
don't bend right.
453
00:14:09,297 --> 00:14:10,833
Give me back my crystal, Tammy!
454
00:14:10,900 --> 00:14:13,004
It's not your crystal, Tina.
455
00:14:13,071 --> 00:14:15,643
It's Mr. Frond's.
You borrowed it from him.
456
00:14:15,710 --> 00:14:17,213
And maybe I borrowed it from you
457
00:14:17,279 --> 00:14:18,816
and I'm gonna give it
back to Mr. Frond
458
00:14:18,883 --> 00:14:20,052
when I am done with it.
459
00:14:20,118 --> 00:14:22,557
Because maybe I need
some crystal power.
460
00:14:22,624 --> 00:14:23,726
What are you talking about?
461
00:14:23,793 --> 00:14:24,962
I found out that
one of the alumni
462
00:14:25,028 --> 00:14:26,197
who's coming to the assembly
463
00:14:26,264 --> 00:14:28,134
is the woman who owns
the boutique
464
00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:29,237
Mary Queen of Skorts.
465
00:14:29,303 --> 00:14:31,007
Yeah, I know,
she was in my report.
466
00:14:31,074 --> 00:14:35,015
Yeah. And she's in
the fashion industry, Tina. Uh.
467
00:14:35,082 --> 00:14:36,752
If she likes my presentation,
468
00:14:36,819 --> 00:14:38,088
she might take me
under her wing.
469
00:14:38,154 --> 00:14:40,259
I could be Anne Hathaway
to her Meryl Streep,
470
00:14:40,325 --> 00:14:41,862
but I'd be blonde,
which is even better.
471
00:14:41,929 --> 00:14:43,164
Oops, oops, oops, oops.
472
00:14:43,231 --> 00:14:44,701
Something's falling
out of my hands
473
00:14:44,768 --> 00:14:45,837
and into my locker
and it's closed.
474
00:14:45,903 --> 00:14:47,774
‐
475
00:14:47,841 --> 00:14:49,043
Now what do we do?
476
00:14:49,110 --> 00:14:49,945
I'll tell you
what we're gonna do.
477
00:14:50,012 --> 00:14:51,515
We're gonna go to class,
478
00:14:51,582 --> 00:14:52,617
get some bathroom passes,
479
00:14:52,684 --> 00:14:54,053
and break into Tammy's locker.
480
00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:56,257
And then what?
Oh. Right. Get the crystal.
481
00:14:56,324 --> 00:14:58,896
Glad you came back for
a second lunch, Teddy.
482
00:14:58,963 --> 00:15:01,167
Because now you get to try
the quick pickles.
483
00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:02,637
They should be ready.
484
00:15:02,704 --> 00:15:04,073
Oh, what a surprise.
485
00:15:04,140 --> 00:15:06,210
Bob is trying to foist
his ugly vegetables on people.
486
00:15:06,277 --> 00:15:08,883
I'm ignoring that,
because they're pickles now.
487
00:15:08,949 --> 00:15:10,085
They're reborn.
488
00:15:10,152 --> 00:15:11,655
They're pretty
pickle butterflies.
489
00:15:11,722 --> 00:15:13,826
And I won't smell
like this forever, right?
490
00:15:13,893 --> 00:15:15,763
‐Right?
‐Pickled carrot, anyone?
491
00:15:15,830 --> 00:15:17,634
‐Ah, no thanks.
‐I'll try it.
492
00:15:17,701 --> 00:15:20,840
Mmm. You can't even taste
how mangled it looked.
493
00:15:20,907 --> 00:15:22,276
Pickled cauliflower?
494
00:15:22,343 --> 00:15:23,546
I think that's a strawberry.
495
00:15:23,612 --> 00:15:25,048
Oh, my God, I think
that is a strawberry.
496
00:15:25,115 --> 00:15:27,186
‐Teddy?
‐Eh... Nah, I'm gonna pass.
497
00:15:27,252 --> 00:15:29,156
You know what, Teddy?
These pickles aren't for you.
498
00:15:29,223 --> 00:15:31,562
They're for people who don't
want to waste food
499
00:15:31,628 --> 00:15:33,431
and want to make
the world a better place.
500
00:15:33,498 --> 00:15:36,070
That strawberry doesn't want to
make the world a better place.
501
00:15:36,137 --> 00:15:37,907
It's frowning. It looks mean.
502
00:15:37,974 --> 00:15:39,511
I'm not mean, Teddy,
503
00:15:39,578 --> 00:15:40,847
I'm a nice strawberry.
504
00:15:40,913 --> 00:15:42,383
Ah! Stop it!
505
00:15:42,449 --> 00:15:43,652
Sorry I'm late.
506
00:15:43,719 --> 00:15:45,055
I got my bathroom pass
507
00:15:45,122 --> 00:15:46,190
and then I actually had
to go to the bathroom.
508
00:15:46,257 --> 00:15:47,025
How's it going here?
509
00:15:47,092 --> 00:15:49,029
I mean, I don't feel
totally great
510
00:15:49,096 --> 00:15:50,700
about lying
to get out of class.
511
00:15:50,767 --> 00:15:52,102
And if we don't
get the crystal,
512
00:15:52,169 --> 00:15:53,906
I'm probably gonna have
a super sweaty, phlegmy meltdown
513
00:15:53,973 --> 00:15:55,041
in front of the whole school.
514
00:15:55,108 --> 00:15:56,277
And Mr. Frond's gonna hate me.
515
00:15:56,344 --> 00:15:58,114
‐But other than that, fine.
‐Great!
516
00:15:58,181 --> 00:16:00,285
Ugh! Everything
at this school is lousy
517
00:16:00,352 --> 00:16:01,387
except for
these weirdly amazing,
518
00:16:01,454 --> 00:16:04,160
‐hard‐to‐break‐into lockers.
‐
519
00:16:04,226 --> 00:16:06,497
This is embarrassing‐‐
Ooh! I got it!
520
00:16:06,565 --> 00:16:07,499
‐Yes!
‐
521
00:16:07,567 --> 00:16:08,569
‐Ah!
‐Ah!
522
00:16:08,636 --> 00:16:10,540
You guys are stealing
the crystal from me!
523
00:16:10,606 --> 00:16:11,575
You stole it from me!
524
00:16:11,642 --> 00:16:13,979
What does that have to do
with anything?
525
00:16:14,046 --> 00:16:15,415
‐
‐Let go!
526
00:16:17,252 --> 00:16:18,756
‐Oh, no!
‐Oh!
‐Oh, my God.
527
00:16:18,823 --> 00:16:20,626
Uh... You know what, Tina?
528
00:16:20,693 --> 00:16:22,196
Uh, you can have it.
529
00:16:22,262 --> 00:16:23,532
See you at the assembly.
530
00:16:23,599 --> 00:16:24,968
Ugh, damn it, Tammy!
531
00:16:25,035 --> 00:16:26,805
The crystal! It's dead!
532
00:16:28,041 --> 00:16:28,976
Unless it's
one of those crystals
533
00:16:29,043 --> 00:16:30,813
that crawls back together?
534
00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:32,416
‐Nope.
‐Tina, there you are.
535
00:16:32,483 --> 00:16:33,853
Please tell me you found the...
536
00:16:33,919 --> 00:16:35,756
‐
‐I'm so sorry.
537
00:16:37,359 --> 00:16:38,929
I hear they're doing
great things
538
00:16:38,996 --> 00:16:40,365
with glue these days.
539
00:16:40,432 --> 00:16:41,802
Let's go.
540
00:16:47,346 --> 00:16:48,949
There's Mary Queen of Skorts.
541
00:16:49,016 --> 00:16:50,418
Should I wave? Hey!
542
00:16:50,485 --> 00:16:52,857
Okay, she didn't wave back
or look in my direction,
543
00:16:52,924 --> 00:16:55,428
but I think she saw me and
was like, "Who's that girl?"
544
00:16:55,495 --> 00:16:58,034
Hey, Tina, you okay?
'Cause you seem kind of nervous.
545
00:16:58,101 --> 00:16:59,704
And you're perspiring‐‐ a lot.
546
00:16:59,771 --> 00:17:00,773
What?
547
00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:01,942
Don't worry, we'll be all right.
548
00:17:02,009 --> 00:17:03,111
You got the crystal.
549
00:17:03,177 --> 00:17:05,983
Um, yeah, so...
actually, I don't.
550
00:17:06,050 --> 00:17:07,219
Because Tammy stole it
551
00:17:07,286 --> 00:17:08,822
and then we got in a fight
and broke it.
552
00:17:08,889 --> 00:17:09,991
Ugh! Get over it, Tina.
553
00:17:10,058 --> 00:17:11,327
That was like ten minutes ago.
554
00:17:11,394 --> 00:17:13,231
Hold up. You don't have
the crystal, Tina?
555
00:17:13,298 --> 00:17:14,400
‐No.
‐Oh, boy.
556
00:17:14,466 --> 00:17:16,872
Now I'm sweatin'. Right across
my little, tiny mustache.
557
00:17:16,939 --> 00:17:18,207
It's there.
558
00:17:18,274 --> 00:17:20,680
Thank you, fifth grade,
for that somber rendition
559
00:17:20,746 --> 00:17:23,652
of Matchbox Twenty's
"How Far We've Come."
560
00:17:23,719 --> 00:17:26,525
Kazoos have never sounded
so haunting.
561
00:17:26,592 --> 00:17:28,461
So... Wagstaff.
562
00:17:28,529 --> 00:17:29,531
75 years, huh?
563
00:17:29,598 --> 00:17:32,302
What a rich, wonderful past
this school has had.
564
00:17:32,369 --> 00:17:34,908
But, eventually,
everything is broken.
565
00:17:34,975 --> 00:17:36,277
And dreams die.
566
00:17:36,344 --> 00:17:38,181
‐He's taking it well.
‐Mm‐hmm.
567
00:17:38,247 --> 00:17:40,218
That's it for this jar.
568
00:17:40,285 --> 00:17:41,822
‐Served all the pickles.
‐Great.
569
00:17:41,888 --> 00:17:44,193
So we'll just keep doing
our part, being good people
570
00:17:44,259 --> 00:17:46,297
and getting a box
of ugly produce every week.
571
00:17:46,364 --> 00:17:48,401
‐I love it.
‐Yeah... yeah.
572
00:17:48,468 --> 00:17:49,838
What? What's with the face?
573
00:17:49,904 --> 00:17:51,575
You look like someone peed
in your pickle jar.
574
00:17:51,642 --> 00:17:54,948
It's just... I mean,
all of this was so much work.
575
00:17:55,015 --> 00:17:56,952
And everything smells.
576
00:17:57,019 --> 00:17:58,922
‐Including you.
‐No!
577
00:17:58,989 --> 00:18:01,060
It's true, Lin.
You do. You both do.
578
00:18:01,127 --> 00:18:03,097
Should we...
never do this again?
579
00:18:03,164 --> 00:18:04,333
Oh, thank God
580
00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:05,268
I was only doing this
581
00:18:05,335 --> 00:18:07,607
because I thought
you really wanted to.
582
00:18:07,674 --> 00:18:08,542
I did.
583
00:18:08,609 --> 00:18:10,445
‐But now I really, really don't.
‐Yeah.
584
00:18:10,513 --> 00:18:12,917
At least we saved
all these sweet ugly babies
585
00:18:12,984 --> 00:18:14,453
from going to the dumpster.
586
00:18:14,521 --> 00:18:16,223
We're gonna get
into heaven now, right?
587
00:18:16,290 --> 00:18:17,927
‐Yeah.
‐I want to go to heaven,
588
00:18:17,994 --> 00:18:19,029
but not like that.
589
00:18:19,096 --> 00:18:20,065
Not like that.
590
00:18:20,131 --> 00:18:22,335
And we all die alone.
591
00:18:22,402 --> 00:18:25,175
And now, I'd like to bring up
eighth graders Tina and Zeke
592
00:18:25,241 --> 00:18:27,345
to give their report
entitled
593
00:18:27,412 --> 00:18:29,149
"I Spy Amazing Alumni."
594
00:18:29,216 --> 00:18:30,485
Oh, God.
595
00:18:31,020 --> 00:18:34,828
Hey, Tina, when you look back
at 75 years of Wagstaff...
596
00:18:34,894 --> 00:18:36,397
‐What do I see?
‐Okay...
597
00:18:36,464 --> 00:18:38,802
I Spy Amazing Alumni!
598
00:18:38,869 --> 00:18:40,573
Ha‐ha‐ha‐ha. Ha.
599
00:18:40,639 --> 00:18:41,407
‐Oh, no.
‐Uh‐oh.
600
00:18:41,474 --> 00:18:42,710
Let's talk about those
601
00:18:42,777 --> 00:18:45,081
amazing alu...
602
00:18:45,148 --> 00:18:46,484
Sorry. Little phlegm.
603
00:18:46,551 --> 00:18:48,287
Um, anyway, ever heard of
604
00:18:48,354 --> 00:18:50,225
Mary Queen of Skorts?
Oh, wait.
605
00:18:50,291 --> 00:18:52,229
‐That was your part, Zeke.
‐Um... Uh...
606
00:18:52,295 --> 00:18:54,233
Oh, now it's me.
607
00:18:54,299 --> 00:18:56,505
She's skort of a big...
608
00:18:56,571 --> 00:18:57,372
deal.
609
00:18:57,439 --> 00:18:59,143
‐Oh, boy.
‐I'm sorry.
610
00:18:59,209 --> 00:19:00,378
I'm sorry, everyone.
611
00:19:00,445 --> 00:19:01,948
I'm not great
at oral reports,
612
00:19:02,015 --> 00:19:03,184
and when I have a partner,
613
00:19:03,251 --> 00:19:04,654
that makes me
even more nervous.
614
00:19:04,721 --> 00:19:05,923
I sweat like crazy.
615
00:19:05,990 --> 00:19:06,925
And I get weird phlegm
in my mouth.
616
00:19:08,127 --> 00:19:09,263
It's like a spit smoothie
in there.
617
00:19:09,329 --> 00:19:11,535
And I'm extra nervous because
I don't have the crystal.
618
00:19:11,601 --> 00:19:13,237
That's a whole other thing.
I had a crystal.
619
00:19:13,304 --> 00:19:15,843
It might have had magic powers.
I don't know.
620
00:19:15,910 --> 00:19:17,045
Uh...
621
00:19:17,112 --> 00:19:18,481
‐Are we still doing our report?
‐Anyway,
622
00:19:18,549 --> 00:19:20,719
maybe I should just accept
that I get nervous.
623
00:19:20,786 --> 00:19:22,022
And maybe that's okay.
624
00:19:22,088 --> 00:19:24,126
Uh, I mean, why try not to be
nervous when I definitely am?
625
00:19:24,193 --> 00:19:25,529
I mean,
look at this pit sweat.
626
00:19:25,596 --> 00:19:28,067
Anyone need me to put out
a small fire?
627
00:19:29,469 --> 00:19:31,708
Feels good
to say it all out loud.
628
00:19:31,775 --> 00:19:32,743
So, anyway...
629
00:19:32,810 --> 00:19:34,514
Oops! I'm getting
the "wrap it up" signal.
630
00:19:34,581 --> 00:19:36,818
Or that kid just really wants me
to look at her watch.
631
00:19:36,885 --> 00:19:38,221
Uh... Thank you!
632
00:19:39,156 --> 00:19:42,295
Well, didn't really get to talk
about the Wagstaff alumni
633
00:19:42,362 --> 00:19:44,567
or, uh... just about anything
in our report.
634
00:19:44,634 --> 00:19:45,401
But I tell ya‐‐
635
00:19:45,468 --> 00:19:46,638
it was a pretty nice
little speech.
636
00:19:46,705 --> 00:19:47,607
Good job, partner.
637
00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:49,544
And you made being sweaty
and nervous kind of cool.
638
00:19:49,611 --> 00:19:52,315
Thanks.
I'm gonna go get some water.
639
00:19:52,382 --> 00:19:53,752
‐
‐Good idea.
640
00:19:53,819 --> 00:19:55,188
You sound like
phlegm‐ageddon, girl!
641
00:19:55,255 --> 00:19:57,760
Eighth graders
Tammy and Jocelyn
642
00:19:57,827 --> 00:19:58,962
with their report on
643
00:19:59,029 --> 00:20:00,699
‐Wagstaff fashions
past and present.
‐
644
00:20:00,766 --> 00:20:01,801
Sorry. Sorry.
645
00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:03,137
Wait! Where is she going?
646
00:20:03,204 --> 00:20:05,174
She's gonna miss
our speech.
647
00:20:05,241 --> 00:20:06,511
‐Uh‐huh. Mm‐hmm.
‐Now she's never gonna take me
648
00:20:06,578 --> 00:20:09,016
to Paris Skort
Fashion Week with her.
649
00:20:09,082 --> 00:20:11,253
Tina, I liked your speech.
650
00:20:11,320 --> 00:20:13,224
I mean, it was very awkward.
651
00:20:13,291 --> 00:20:15,228
‐So awkward...
‐Thank you?
652
00:20:15,295 --> 00:20:17,065
And in a way,
653
00:20:17,132 --> 00:20:18,602
your speech gave me
the push I needed
654
00:20:18,669 --> 00:20:21,473
to leave Cassie a long and
very emotional voice mail
655
00:20:21,541 --> 00:20:22,810
about her crystal.
656
00:20:22,877 --> 00:20:24,046
And she just texted me
657
00:20:24,112 --> 00:20:25,783
that she believes crystals
don't really "break."
658
00:20:25,849 --> 00:20:28,220
She says the energy just
"spreads out."
659
00:20:28,287 --> 00:20:30,124
Really? Phew!
660
00:20:30,191 --> 00:20:32,663
She's very wise,
like a pretty owl.
661
00:20:32,730 --> 00:20:35,368
And she still wants
to come over for Cassie‐role.
662
00:20:35,435 --> 00:20:37,005
‐Oh, good.
‐Ooh, I should go.
663
00:20:37,072 --> 00:20:39,042
I need to get all the cat hair
off the furniture
664
00:20:39,109 --> 00:20:40,211
before Cassie comes.
665
00:20:40,278 --> 00:20:41,648
Great speech, T.
666
00:20:41,715 --> 00:20:43,384
At one point I think you sprayed
some of your mouth phlegm
667
00:20:43,451 --> 00:20:45,723
onto your armpit sweat.
That was magical.
668
00:20:45,789 --> 00:20:48,528
‐Thanks.
‐Well, I got about $3.50
669
00:20:48,595 --> 00:20:50,064
of crystal money
in my pocket.
670
00:20:50,131 --> 00:20:52,235
Is that enough to buy me
a new shirt on the way home?
671
00:20:52,302 --> 00:20:53,471
Probably not.
672
00:20:53,538 --> 00:20:55,141
But maybe
a medium frozen yogurt?
673
00:20:55,208 --> 00:20:56,210
‐Three spoons?
‐Deal.
674
00:20:56,276 --> 00:20:57,145
You can make it two spoons.
675
00:20:57,212 --> 00:20:58,447
I like to use my hands.
676
00:20:58,515 --> 00:20:59,449
‐Nope. Nope.
‐Nope. Nope.
677
00:20:59,517 --> 00:21:01,855
♪ Crystal power ♪
678
00:21:03,190 --> 00:21:06,063
♪ Crystal power
679
00:21:07,165 --> 00:21:10,371
♪ Crystal power
680
00:21:11,206 --> 00:21:13,645
♪ Crystal power
681
00:21:14,981 --> 00:21:17,385
♪ When you and your partner
have an oral report ♪
682
00:21:17,452 --> 00:21:19,289
♪ And you're feeling really
out of sorts ♪
683
00:21:19,356 --> 00:21:21,360
♪ Maybe get yourself
a nice crystal, it'll ♪
684
00:21:21,427 --> 00:21:23,097
♪ Only stab you a little ♪
685
00:21:23,164 --> 00:21:25,736
♪ Crystal power ♪
686
00:21:27,105 --> 00:21:29,710
♪ Crystal power
687
00:21:30,546 --> 00:21:32,048
♪ Crystal power.
688
00:21:32,115 --> 00:21:33,284
Captioning sponsored by
BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT
689
00:21:33,350 --> 00:21:34,720
and TOYOTA.
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