All language subtitles for House - [7x06] - Office Politics eng

This election day,

the fate of our borders
is in your hands.

John moreno wants to invite

illegal immigrants into our country.

He wants to give them our jobs.

He wants to give them our healthcare.

John Moreno wants to give
them the American dream,

and he wants you to pay for it.

Whose side is he really on ?

It's a valid question.

He favors easing restrictions.

So do I.

Shh.

Come on, Hal.

Your position on work
visas is irrelevant.

He's talking about a
path to citizenship.

I'm telling you, this
ad wins you the election.

By insulting one of
my core constituencies.

Come on, in '04

I had 45% of the Latino vote.

And this year you're running
against a guy named Moreno.

This isn't one of your races

in south Carolina or Oklahoma, Joe.

This is New Jersey... People vote for me

because I'm a moderate.
Well, that's great.

You can be the most moderate
ex-senator in the country.

Hal, the election is seven days away,

and even our own internals
show you down six points.

We've always been the underdog.

And we've always found
a way to win. I know.

Because you have always let
me do what's needed to be done.

Now, I can have this
on the air tomorrow.

No, no.

Come on, Hal, let me do this !

No, absolutely not.

This could totally galvanize the left.

You all right, Joe ?

Yeah, I think I got some kind of a rash.

What the hell ?

That's not a rash.

Maybe I should call a doctor.

You better call an ambulance.

Look at it like this...

Of all the ways to rupture it,

nothing honors the real Achilles more

than blowing the
dismount on a keg stand.

What's that smell ?

Is it onions ?

Peppers ?

Oh, I know...

It's a sausagefest.

Sausagefest implies multiples.

Now, if you're talking about yardage,

I'd have to agree.

I'm talking about your department.

You still haven't replaced thirteen.

It's coming along.

You've had plenty of
time to find someone.

I've found plenty of someones.
Just haven't kept them.

It's time to end the cycle.

Meet your new team member.

Her name is Martha m. Masters.

This doctor is not a doctor.

She's a third-year med student.

She graduated high
school when she was 15.

She filled out the time
before med school getting PhDs

in both applied math and art history.

She'll be incredibly useful

if my next patient is an Escher drawing.

Those things are seriously screwed up.

This isn't a suggestion.

Just because my sausage
has been filling your bun

doesn't mean you get to decide

what flavor chips I
nosh on during the day.

Nope, I get to do that
because I'm your boss.

Patient is Joe Dugan,
42, political consultant.

Presents with palpable purpura,

and alt and ast are through the roof.

Otherwise known as
rash and liver damage.

Fascinating.

Senator Anderson sent this case to us,

and personally requested we take a look.

That's reason enough for me.

Black guy campaigning
for the opposition ?

Does Obama know about this ?

I tried calling him
on the brother hotline.

He didn't pick up.

Martha m. Masters.

I'm Dr. House.

This is the rest of the team.

Boring, bimbo, and bite-size.

Martha enjoys quadratic equations,

Italian frescoes, and
her turn-ons include

learning to be a doctor.

Take a seat.

She's a med student ?

Cuddy thinks she's some kind of genius.

Say something brilliant.

Oh, I... I don't...

Capital of Azerbaijan ? Baku.

Year Beethoven died ?

1827.

20th decimal of Euler's number ?

Six.

It's my favorite constant.

She's like the Internet with breasts.

Oh, no, wait... The
Internet has breasts.

Our patient's liver damage

explains the rash and cryoglobulins

we found in his blood,

but we can't explain the liver damage.

Shows no other signs of
drug or alcohol abuse.

Now all we've gotta do is
figure out which one is bimbo

and which one is bite-size.

Also, which monster truck won
the 2004 thunder nationals ?

Hep c makes sense.

Test came back negative.
Same for hep a and b.

The answer we were looking
for is Virginia giant.

Feel free to chime in
on either conversation.

Hate to steal the spotlight
from small wonder over here,

but what about toxic exposure ?

Tetrachloroethylene.

Could even be pennyroyal
or sassafras oil.

Go to his house, get me some chemicals.

You wanna stay on this team,

have an opinion.

Oh, cool !

Tudor revival architecture.

Steeply pitched, asymmetrical roof

over the entrance.

But it doesn't have the half timbering

over the facade.

Doesn't say anything about medicine,

can't shut up about architecture.

Great. I know.

I don't know what happened.

Being around House...

He's such a legend,
he's so intimidating.

I'm not like that
around ordinary people.

Uh, not that you guys are ordinary.

It's just that he's so brilliant

and you work under him,
so you're not as imposing.

Um...

I'm gonna be quiet.

Good idea.

Dugan didn't give you a key ?

If patients know we're coming,

they can hide something
relevant to their illness

intentionally

or unintentionally.

Their knowledge changes things.

Are you a vampire ?

It's okay. We're inviting you in.

But our patient didn't.

I can't do this, I'm sorry.

Well, she's gonna be a big help.

Yeah, what a rube

being uncomfortable breaking
into a stranger's house.

Part of our job description,

not the most morally ambiguous part.

Give her a chance.

She's fresh, enthusiastic,

has no bad habits we need to reteach.

She's a med student with
no practical experience.

That means every
procedure, every blood draw,

she needs one of us there to supervise.

Is this attitude about her

not having an MD after her name ?

Because I wonder if it has more to do

with her being a brainiac.

That's not it at all.

I'm not thrilled someone else

might be the smartest
person on the team now.

I can only imagine how you feel.

You're not smarter than me.

Oh, yeah ?

You find this ?

A jug of unpasteurized cider.

It could be tainted with e coli,

and that's what's causing
the liver to shut down.

E coli is found in animals.

So unless he's drinking pork cider...

Pork cider !

I need the number of the patent office.

There are indirect ways
of attracting e coli.

Masters refused to go
on the search with us.

Interesting.

Which raises the question,

what is your problem with her ?

He is intimidated by her intelligence.

Why would that bother Taub ?

He's been working

with people smarter
than him for a long time.

I think perky new girl

makes him feel old.

She's basically the
same age as thirteen.

Yeah, but she's a student.

Makes you contemplate
your med school days.

Back when you had hair, muscle tone,

and no need for a regular prostate exam.

Makes sense.

Just like e coli.

Orchards make cider out of apples

they can't sell otherwise,

like if they've fallen onto the ground.

Like, to some cow feces.

Which would mean our esteemed patient

is literally full of BS.

Cool.

Go get the ingenue,

start the patient on
aztreonam and plasmapheresis.

He said to start the patient on aztre...

The cell sorter separates the plasma

from the remaining cellular components,

thereby removing...

the toxins, antibodies, cryoglobulins.

I think we should tell our patient

about breaking into his house.

Why would we do that ?

Because the reason not to tell him

was that he might hide something.

And now that rationale is moot.

The rationale now

is no upside, big downside.

How can we ask our patients to trust us

if we're not honest with them ?

How can we ask the patient to trust us

after we tell him he can't trust us ?

Fine.

Tell him.

Clear your conscience,

because that's what's important.

Well, if you would let me run that ad,

everybody would be talking
about immigration instead.

All right, look, here's
what we're gonna say.

Yeah, he was in Iraq,

and we're all grateful
for his sacrifice.

You chose to honor your
country through public service

and have voted 46 times to
expand the Pentagon's budget

for programs which, oh, by
the way, Moreno wants to cut.

All right. I'll draft
it up, send it over.

You should probably slow down

until you're out of the hospital.

It's a busy week.

Aren't you curious how we
came up with this diagnosis ?

You're doctors. Isn't that your job ?

But how we knew you were
drinking apple cider ?

Well, you had to have
found that at my house,

so I guess you guys broke in there.

That doesn't bother you ?

Medicine's like politics.

At the end of the day, all
that matters is results.

That's not true.

Respect matters.

Honesty

and integrity matter.

Have you ever thought about
running for public office ?

Because I would love
to have someone like you

as an opponent.

Watch the replacement fluid line.

Oh, right, sorry.

You ever wonder why American voter

turnout rates are among the lowest

in the developed world ?

Mr. Dugan ?

Mr. Dugan ?

What's wrong ? Can you hear me ?

He's paralyzed.

Call Foreman and chase,
get them down here.

Mr. Dugan !

We thinks it's a
transient ischemic attack.

The clot must have broken up

before we could find it.

He was temporarily paralyzed,

but he's regaining mobility and speech.

So, what causes rash,

liver failure, clots,

and the uncontrollable urge

to rat out your coworkers ?

Oh, no, wait...

That last one was you, not the patient.

I wasn't trying to rat.

I was clearly trying to
honor my ethical obligation.

Portal vein thrombosis

could be caused by Wilson's disease.

Hooray !

You popped your cherry,

diagnostically speaking.

Unfortunately, the
first time always sucks.

Pitch doesn't make any sense.

Dugan's cornea was normal.

You're obviously brilliant.

So why would you hide your mind ?

I was brainstorming.

I'm not talking about your
stupid ideas about the patient.

I mean your stupid ideas about morality.

My stupid ideas are what
most doctors consider

the rules for professional conduct.

What about a neuroendocrine tumor ?

Not without diminished mental capacity,

loss of judgment.

Disseminated intravascular coagulation,

however, fits.

Rules are just helpful
guidelines for stupid people

who can't make up their own mind.

You obviously don't
fit into that category,

so why put yourself there ?

Masters is right

about a neuroendocrine tumor.

Because yes, Dugan has had

a loss of judgment.

He made this totally inflammatory

anti-immigration campaign
commercial for Anderson.

It just got linked online.

You're arguing Dugan's politics

are a sign that he's
mentally compromised ?

No, his tactics.

He's most likely the one who leaked it

and all the commentators are saying

and honesty's a great idea

until your patient asks

if her distended abdomen
makes her looks fat.

House, I hate to interrupt
your ethics debate,

but we have two solid
ideas on the table.

Ct from his neck to his abdomen
for neuroendocrine tumors.

Run a d-dimer

and fibrinogen for D.I.C.

Masters.

If lying to a patient saved their life,

would you do it ?

No.

That's a lie.

If your grandma gave you
a really crappy tea cozy

for Christmas, would you
tell her you liked it ?

Yes, but that's different.

So, you lie when it doesn't matter

but you won't when it does.

How'd you get so screwed up ?

How mad would you be

if I fired Masters ?

Very.

Unless you had cause.

Real cause.

Cause that a human being
would consider cause.

Never mind, then.

She's got principals.

She's like the love child
of Einstein and Mary Poppins.

Didn't even get Einstein's hair.

It's worth having someone on the team

who doesn't see the world
entirely as shades of gray.

It is gray ! To you.

She has a fresh perspective.

Unless that threatens you.

It does not...

You thought I'd get defensive,

keep her out of pride.

A girl can hope.

House, I gave this a lot of thought.

She deserves a chance.

A real chance.

House is gonna fire me.

No, he isn't.

Because you told him not to ?

Butting heads with House
is par for the course.

House has strong beliefs,

and he respects other
people with strong beliefs.

It's not my beliefs
that are the problem.

It's my personality.

I'm not good at working
with other people.

You've been in there
for less than a day.

I wasn't looking for encouragement.

It's a fact.

Growing up, my whole life, really,

I
- I spent a lot of time by myself.

And no one in high
school wants to hang out

with a kid that's three
years younger than them.

And studying Anosov diffeomorphisms,

determining whether an
unattributed landscape

is a blakelock or a ryder or...

I'm actually boring you right now.

And yet you chose medicine

which is a team activity.

It's pretty gutsy,

stepping so far outside
your comfort zone.

I'm not trying to prove anything.

I just wanted to be a doctor.

It was stupid.

Nobody can do everything.

I was vain to think I
could be the exception.

House doesn't care if
you're a team player,

or how ethical you are,

or how high your I.Q. Is.

It's all about the cases.

You help him crack this one,

you two are gonna get along just fine.

We gotta give Masters some pointers,

help her figure out
how to deal with House.

Why would I do that ?

The entertainment
factor is off the charts.

It's like watching a
bunny hop into a buzz saw.

Repeatedly.

And if we don't help
her, she's out of here.

No, something else is
stopping House from firing her.

I'm guessing it's his desire
to keep having sex with Cuddy.

You guys ready to admit
you were wrong yet ?

Excuse me ?

This tumor you're looking
for... you're not gonna find it.

My judgment is completely sound.

So when you leaked that ad,

you were trying to torpedo
the senator's campaign ?

All right, one, I told you before,

I didn't leak that spot.

Uh-huh.

And two...

Whoever did leak that ad

had nothing wrong
with their mind either.

It's gonna save Anderson.

That commercial...

Everyone sees through it.

You're just trying to
play to people's fears.

You say fears.

I say rational, protective instincts.

And judging by your accent,

immigration probably isn't an issue

you can be real impartial about.

I waited five years
to get my green card.

If there's anyone who would resent

someone trying to skip
the queue, it'd be me.

Just because Moreno favors amnesty...

He doesn't.

You know that picture of
him with the Mexican flags

that seems to be from
a pro-amnesty rally ?

That's from an amnesty
international speech

protesting the imprisonment
of priests in Oaxaca.

Yes, you did just prove that that ad

is even more disgusting
than you thought.

You also proved that ad is effective.

You still think my judgment is off ?

Not anymore.

There's no sign of a tumor.

That leaves DIC.

I'll go check how Taub is
doing with the blood work.

I guess when you get on in years,

it takes a little longer to
run a few simple blood tests.

This whole "Taub's an old man" thing

kinda rings hollow,

considering I'm in
better shape than you are.

Pass the dye.

You're in rounder shape than me.

Tonight after work,

meet at the basketball
courts in the gym.

You do realize you're two
and a half feet tall, right ?

And white. And Jewish.

It'd be very embarrassing.

I get why you wanna say no.

Tonight after work.

Crap.

Did you hear Moreno's
latest stump speech ?

He's gonna clean up Washington.

Yeah, right.

Like any politician from New Jersey

has ever cleaned up...

Who else knows that you leaked that ad ?

You and I had the only two copies, Hal.

I don't care that you did it.

I just want to make sure it worked.

This morning's tracking
has me within two points.

Told you.

We're gonna pull this thing off.

Your blood test for D.I.C.
came back completely normal.

That's good news, right ?

That means the two things
we thought it could be,

it's not.

We checked your home for
toxins and didn't find any.

But it's possible you might've
been exposed on the campaign.

Have you visited any industrial
or agricultural facilities ?

There was a tomato farm in Lumberton.

They take you into the fields ?

No one wants a photo op with
me. I never leave the bus.

Were the windows open
? Certain pesticides...

Foreman.

What ? What is it ?

It's not just your liver
we have to worry about.

Looks like your kidneys
are having problems, too.

So this guy spends his entire life

campaigning against bleeding hearts.

And it turns out he has one.

Bloody urine actually
is a renal problem,

not a cardiac one.

Yeah, if I say something inaccurate,

assume it's for comic effect.

Then laugh, because it's funny.

Ttp makes sense.

What're his platelets ?

200,000. It's not ttp.

What about henoch-schoenlein purpura ?

H.S.P. Doesn't cause clots.

H.S.P. Doesn't usually cause clots,

but it can.

And the vasculitis

would explain the kidney problem.

She can't diagnose a joke,

but she's making
progress on the patient.

We treat with chemotherapy or steroids.

We treat with chemotherapy.

I said chemo.

Then you said, "or".

Once again, the bunny meets the blade.

The road to dead patients

is paved with "or"s.

Chemo is the more effective treatment

which means it'll confirm
our diagnosis more quickly.

I agree, but there is another option.

There are lots of other options.

There's bloodletting,

crystals, prayer...

Another medically accepted option.

Which is both less
effective and less scary.

So the patient might just choose it.

Unless, of course, we
don't mention it to him.

We can't withhold information.

If we explain both the benefits

and the risks of each treatment

I'm sure Dugan will choose chemo.

Well, as long as you're sure.

The better option is chemotherapy.

It's faster and more likely
to completely cure you.

I'll take the steroids.

Oh, my goodness !

If only someone could've predicted

that you'd make that
incredibly stupid decision.

The nausea and fatigue from chemo

will only last a few weeks.

Our poll numbers have stalled.

That's five days till the election.

Doctor, can you talk
some sense into him ?

Would that I could,

but ethics dictate
that it's his decision.

So all I can do now
is return to my office

knowing, even as my
patient endangers himself,

my integrity remains unblemished.

Please.

Take some time to think about this.

I don't need any time. I
want to start on the steroids.

Game to 11 by ones.

Uh, hold on.

Wanna shoot for outs ?

You can have it.

One, nothing.

You gonna guard me ?

Can't hit two in a row.

♪ ♪

Two, nothing.

You gonna wuard me now ?

You can have that shot all day.

♪ Daytime I walk street ♪

♪ daytime I'm walkin' street ♪

♪ I'm walking street yeah ♪

Three, nothing.

♪ Somebody's listening ♪

♪ I feel like someone's listening ♪

♪ to the song in my head ♪

♪ I start to run ♪

♪ I start to run ♪

One, three.

♪ ♪

♪ Whoo ooh ooh ♪

♪ ooh ooh ♪

♪ whoo whoo whoo whoo ♪

♪ ♪

♪ I start to run ♪

♪ daytime I'm walkin' street ♪

♪ I'm walkin' street yeah ♪

♪ I start to run ♪

♪ ♪

♪ I start to run ♪

♪ ♪

Ten, seven.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Seriously ?

You're gonna beat me with that ?

Well...

I was wrong.

You're not so old.

Thank you.

Now all we have to do is figure out

why Masters is making you feel insecure.

I was just down by Dugan's room.

They were ready to give
him the wrong medicine.

I tried to change the
order, but I'm not a doctor.

Good.

The wrong medicine
is the right medicine.

But he wanted steroids, not chemo.

He wants to live.

I'm gonna tell him what's going on.

No, you're not.

I don't mind your morality in theory.

But in practice, you're
risking my patient's life.

So you're fired.

You think that's gonna
stop me from telling him ?

If you do, I'll get you
thrown out of medical school.

I haven't done anything
that would merit that.

I know.

But unlike you, I'm willing to lie.

Firing her was a mistake.

We need someone like her on the team,

keeping us all in check.

You're incapable of noticing

when I do something inappropriate ?

We're like the frogs who've
been in the pot for a while.

We're used to the heat.

Things have been just fine
without Pippi Longdivision.

Your opponent's out of the race.

You can drop the smear campaign.

Dugan developed pulmonary edema.

It's not HSP.

Masters was right.

He didn't want the chemo.
He didn't need the chemo.

Masters was wrong.

He doesn't have HSP

and Masters is gone.

Could be an infection.

We had him on aztreonam for the e coli.

He didn't respond.

Schistosomiasis wouldn't
respond to aztreonam.

That's a great idea

if he was running a
political campaign in Africa.

The guy hasn't been out
of the country in years.

Who needs to travel when
you've got a giant fish tank

loaded with tropical
fish, tropical snails

carrying tropical bacteria
like schistosomiasis.

Well, break into his home,

get me some escargot.

Unless you wanna ask
the patient's permission

as a tribute to the departed.

Need a minute.

You said you were
gonna give her a chance.

I did !

She used that opportunity

to endanger our patient's life.

By insisting he receive the
treatment that he asked for.

That's what I just said !

Your team is there to challenge you.

I didn't fire her because
she's a challenge...

I fired her because

she's an immutable obstacle !

You gonna make me hire her ?

How do you think that'll work out ?

How do you think that'll work out ?

He's right, I'll just...

You will not quit this job.

What is going on ?

I want her gone, she wants to be gone.

Why do you care ?

You don't actually think

that she's a younger version of you ?

Because let me tell you,
you're not that smart

or moral.

Socially awkward, maybe.

She's a potential star,

and I want her in my hospital.

No problem.

Just find her a different department.

I think I've figured it out.

Why Taub didn't like Masters.

Now you're getting
involved in this, too ?

My previous source of
entertainment just got fired.

Exactly.

She's gone. It's over.

She's totally moral and uptight,

which made Taub feel
badly about his cheating.

Can we get a move on ?

You didn't like her

even before you knew about her morals.

It's from the minute he saw her.

So...

It's something about how she looked.

All right.

No snails. Let's get out of here.

Hello ?

Yeah. It's Foreman.

What'd you find ?

Nothing helpful, but...

There's gotta be something.

Dugan's going completely downhill.

Now fluid's collecting in his chest.

Where the hell are you guys ?

In jail.

You gonna come bail us out ?

Uh...

Kinda busy.

Thank you all for coming
down here at this late hour.

I assure you I will be brief.

There has been a lot of discussion

about an attack ad that leaked
online earlier this week.

As I said many times

over the past few days...

There you are.

I was starting to think
that my holier-than-thou-dar

was malfunctioning.

Our patient's liver,

kidneys, and lungs are failing.

I need you to help me figure out why.

As I recall, you have
three actual doctors

you haven't fired today.

They're in jail.

What ? Why ?

Prostitution.

So you're rehired.

It all started in the liver,
but where in the liver ?

If in the ducts, then
primary biliary cirrhosis...

Yeah, I don't need to hear your ideas.

Just return the volley.

Primary sclerosing cholangitis.

Nope.

His vitamin a level is normal.

Gall bladder problems
can affect the liver.

Cholecystitis ?

Shh !

He's talking about our patient.

Did you just shush me ?

Shh !

And thought he was a friend.

That is, until...

He leaked this hurtful, hateful ad.

I think he's lying. Dugan said...

The technical term is speaking.

Dugan violated my trust.

And therefore, I have no other recourse

than to fire him from my campaign.

Thank you, and there will
be no further questions.

Thanks for your help.

Oh...

And you're fired again.

He screwed you.

That was a hell of a move.

Use the ad to shore up the base,

fire the extremist to hold the center.

No, I mean he actually screwed you.

Taking weekend trips down to Bunbury.

He's got a red blotch on his hand.

That's palmar erythema.

That, and the fact that he's got

a permanent sheen of
nixonian flop sweat.

He's got hepatitis c

which explains all your symptoms.

That's great,

but the senator and I have not had sex.

Well, then the two of
you shot up together.

How many high-functioning
heroin users do you know ?

Actually, quite a few.

Look, I know you've got hep c.

So either you shared a bed together,

you shared a needle,

or you shared a straw.

I'm talking about coke,

not coke.

You can get hep c from doing cocaine ?

Look, I will deny it.

Don't care.

They tested me for hep
c when I came in here.

I don't have it.

Apparently your liver picked up

a few of your campaign tactics.

It's hiding all your secrets

by producing cryoglobulins

so the hep c tests come back negative.

Now, I could look for
all the associated toxins,

but the plasmapheresis got rid of those.

So basically, you've got a disease,

but there's no way to prove it.

It's pretty cool, huh ?

What is that ?

This is interferon.

It delays the onset of rigor mortis.

When did your lawyer say
he was coming to get us ?

He said,

and I'm quoting here,

"soon".

I know.

The reason you hated Masters
from the moment you saw her.

Come on.

That was not the first time you saw her.

That is brilliant.

It's really not.

Is that guy seriously using the toilet ?

Oh, my God, he's sitting down.

Don't try to change the subject.

Did you sleep with her ?

No wonder he's in jail.

Anyone who would do that has no shame.

Or maybe he tried to sleep with her,

and she shot him down.

I don't know her.

Is he grunting ?

I think I hear grunting.

You realize we're not gonna drop this.

I didn't sleep with her.

I interviewed her for
Hopkins med school.

So you're holding a grudge,

because she chose a different school ?

We talked for an hour.

She didn't remember me.

She remembers the 20th
digit of some math constant,

but she doesn't remember

a guy she had a
one-on-one meeting with.

Well, I barely remember you.

Mystery solved.

Now we can all go back to our lives.

Great news.

I've decided to rehire you.

Find another sounding board.

Dugan's got hep c.

I'm not doing this.

He's not responding to interferon.

You must think I have
absolutely no self-esteem.

Ethics and self-esteem ?

You really are a pain in the ass.

What treats hep c besides interferon ?

Now you want me to talk ?

Yeah.

Come on, stop pretending
you're not gonna do this.

As much as you hate me,
you hate failing more.

I didn't fail.

You fired me. Repeatedly.

But if you walk away now,
after I just rehired you,

that's quitting.

A German research study

showed that 15% of patients with hep c

were cured after contracting hep a.

Of course, other studies have shown

that up to 85% of
doubly-infected patients

die very quickly.

So, in theory, if we can find
something that mimics hep a...

There's one thing that mimics hep a...

Hep a.

Good work.

You're fired.

No !

Hep a could cure him.

Better chance it'll kill him.

Tell the lab to release
a hep a culture to me.

We'll see who's right.

It's not an approved treatment

and exposes us to liability.

There's no way I can let you do this.

That's an extremely cowardly position.

Listen to the genius.

You're the one that
insisted he run this by me.

It's proper protocol for
an unconventional treatment.

But we shouldn't compromise patient care

just to avoid lawsuits.

What about the fact that we don't

have any proof he actually has hep c ?

That is a perfectly valid objection.

Don't listen to her.

She doesn't even work for me.

If you really think that this
is the only way to cure him,

I will risk the lawsuit.

But I need to know that he
actually has the disease.

Get me proof.

I've given you... proof !

Get me proof he has hep c,

and then you can give him hep a.

I can't.

You'll figure something out.

The two of you have
combined I.Q. North of 300.

That's also true of five morons.

Go. Work.

So what do we do now ?

Well, considering the fact

that I'm about to do
something unethical...

Oh, right, yeah... I'm fired.

Missed you.

We need a false positive hep c test.

And why would we want to do that ?

The world changes when
you're on the inside.

You just gotta roll
with it once you get out.

You think he contracted hep c

from the senator, right ?

Test Anderson.

If it's positive, that's
evidence dugan has it, too.

Evidence, not proof.

Are we presenting this
to a jury of our peers ?

That should be enough for Cuddy.

Should be, but it won't be.

The test for hep c is 99.9% accurate.

That means one in every thousand tests

is a false positive.

We do enough,

maybe we get lucky.

I smell like jail.

False false positive.

That's the best we can do ?

Okay, go do it.

I have a problem.

A medical problem

which could become...

I have lied to Cuddy 10,000 times.

How do you think she'd
feel about 10,001 ?

I think you probably
already know the answer.

But it doesn't make any sense.

You don't understand why
a woman might be upset

because her boyfriend lied to her ?

I wouldn't be lying as her boyfriend.

I'd be lying as her employee.

That's not how relationships work.

My patient is gonna die.

Does the lie guarantee he'll live ?

No.

You got two choices:

To be honest and face
the medical consequences,

or lie and face the
personal consequences.

Now that you're my doctor, you, uh...

You can't tell anybody, right ?

Who'd leak a story
about a sitting senator

who got hep c from doing cocaine ?

You didn't fill out any paperwork.

I'm gonna run this test
under an assumed name.

Trust me...

No one will ever know you were here.

Blood test confirming hep c.

He got sicker,

his viral load came up,

finally showed up on the test.

Thank you.

There was a time

when you would have
completely ignored my request.

That means a lot

that you respect me enough to do this.

I've come a long way, baby.

Now, if you would only
hire a new team member.

I'm on it.

How'd you like to come work for me ?

It's like I'm on a mobius strip.

We've had this conversation.

You want this job.

Prove yourself to me,

no more games.

At least, the current game ends.

Others may start.

You have my deeply-flawed word.

What do I have to do ?

Get dugan to let us give him hep a.

And while you're
figuring out the best way

to coax a patient into a treatment

that has an 85% mortality rate,

here's some advice: Don't.

I'm not gonna lie to him.

You have a math degree.

So let's see if you
can follow along here.

You lie to him, he definitely consents,

he might live.

You tell him the truth like last time,

he might not consent,

he definitely dies.

Remind me what's so wrong about lying ?

We're going to inject
you with hepatitis a.

That doesn't sound like medicine.

I know it seems counter-intuitive,

but in some people,

the virus can enhance immune function

and clear out the hepatitis c.

Some.

How many we talking about ?

A fair amount.

Give me a percentage.

What are the odds of
this thing working ?

There is an 85% chance
that this will kill you.

So, you wanna

give me something that works

15% better than arsenic ?

Well, technically, it
works infinitely better

because arsenic has

a 0% ch... chance.

This is your only shot.

Both Dr. House and I believe that.

He faked a blood test in
order to get you approved

for this treatment.

And then he tried to bribe me

into lying to you about the risks.

If either of those
incidents came to light,

he would be suspended

and probably lose his license.

Oh, I'm sure some other
people would suffer.

He's risking his career
to give you this chance.

He wouldn't do that if
there was any other choice.

I did it. And I didn't have to lie.

And you feel good about that ?

Yes.

So I'm hiring an idiot.

You can pretend you wanted me to lie,

but you didn't.

You want the people on
your team to challenge you

otherwise you'd just be a bully

instead of a great doctor.

You hired me because I don't
compromise my principals.

Or I want a front row
seat when you wake up

and realize how useless
your principals are.

I don't want you to
just lie to a patient.

I want you to want to lie to a patient.

It's not gonna happen.

See you tomorrow.

I heard dugan is already
responding to treatment.

Yeah, his alt level is
already beginning to normalize.

I wanted to apologize for the way...

Uh, wait...

You interviewed me, right ?

For Hopkins ?

Oh, my God, you're right.

Wow, that memory of yours.

I wanted to say something the first day.

I felt really awkward
about the whole thing.

Don't worry about it.

Is this grandma's tea cozy ?

What ?

Nothing.

I'll see you upstairs.

If I knew hiring her

meant dealing with
medical school paperwork,

I might've reconsidered.

You really got nothing better to do

than watch me sign this ?

And miss the ultimate admission

that I was right about
Masters all along ?

She had me when she called you a coward.

You heading out ?

I have to work late.

Gloating requires a lot of paperwork.

Thank you, New Jersey

for reelecting me to
the United States senate.

We ran a positive campaign,

a campaign about the dire
issues facing this great nation.

There are many people who gave their all

for this campaign.

But there is one person

that stands out among them.

My beautiful wife, Loretta.

Loretta.

Thank you.

Do you know where the
senator's records are ?

House was treating
Anderson's campaign manager,

not the senator himself.

Oh.

Why did you think he was the patient ?

House saw him in the clinic.

I guess it wasn't medical.

When ?

Friday. Around 3.

House's team ran a hep c
test on Joe dugan on Friday.

Can you look up the time ?

Chase, Taub, and Foreman
were running tests all night.

All negative.

Positive test at...

3:17 P.M.

House ran it himself.

Is everything okay ?

I don't think so.