Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,203 --> 00:00:01,770
If you want to know what I'm up to,
2
00:00:01,771 --> 00:00:03,792
all you have to do is look
at my feed, and you'll see.
3
00:00:03,793 --> 00:00:05,922
My man, my Mani,
4
00:00:05,923 --> 00:00:08,197
my mini, which is actually a fiat,
5
00:00:08,198 --> 00:00:10,100
#lessbasicbitch.
6
00:00:10,101 --> 00:00:12,435
Henry, on the other
hand, wasn't on Instagram.
7
00:00:12,436 --> 00:00:14,104
So if you want to know
what the hell he's doing,
8
00:00:14,105 --> 00:00:16,106
you have to stop by his office.
9
00:00:16,107 --> 00:00:17,440
What the hell are you doing?
10
00:00:17,441 --> 00:00:21,511
This soothing balm is causing
me a great deal of discomfort.
11
00:00:21,512 --> 00:00:24,648
Our diaper cream sales
have been... well, stinky.
12
00:00:26,217 --> 00:00:29,152
- We should sell it as an eye cream.
- What?
13
00:00:29,153 --> 00:00:32,188
I read on some beauty blog
that's what J-albs does.
14
00:00:32,189 --> 00:00:33,657
Or J-lo.
15
00:00:33,658 --> 00:00:35,625
One of the J's.
16
00:00:35,626 --> 00:00:38,862
Look.
17
00:00:38,863 --> 00:00:41,197
I must admit, your under-eye region...
18
00:00:41,198 --> 00:00:42,699
Does look luminous.
19
00:00:42,700 --> 00:00:45,235
Mm-hmm. I call it "Butt Eyes."
20
00:00:45,236 --> 00:00:47,337
No. No, you don't. That is a terrible name.
21
00:00:47,338 --> 00:00:49,339
But it is a solid idea.
22
00:00:49,340 --> 00:00:52,142
We market our diaper cream
for an unexpected use.
23
00:00:52,143 --> 00:00:54,577
We target new moms who
aren't getting enough sleep
24
00:00:54,578 --> 00:00:56,212
and could desperately use...
25
00:00:56,213 --> 00:00:58,214
- Butt Eyes!
- Please stop saying that.
26
00:00:58,215 --> 00:00:59,816
I promise I can come up with a better name.
27
00:00:59,817 --> 00:01:02,218
A little bit of you, a
little bit of me, right?
28
00:01:02,219 --> 00:01:04,587
Right. In the meantime,
29
00:01:04,588 --> 00:01:07,123
go pitch this to Saperstein!
He's gonna love it!
30
00:01:07,124 --> 00:01:08,224
Yeah.
31
00:01:08,225 --> 00:01:09,526
I'm more of a "have the idea" person.
32
00:01:09,527 --> 00:01:12,829
I'm not really, like, a "bring
the idea to Saperstein" person.
33
00:01:12,830 --> 00:01:14,194
It's... Liza, this is a good idea,
34
00:01:14,195 --> 00:01:15,658
and I want him to know that it's yours.
35
00:01:15,659 --> 00:01:17,434
Here's another one I had... the Blorkel.
36
00:01:17,435 --> 00:01:19,436
It's a blanket with a built-in snorkel
37
00:01:19,437 --> 00:01:21,237
- so...
- Mm, yeah.
38
00:01:21,238 --> 00:01:24,374
You have a strong, viable
idea for this company
39
00:01:24,375 --> 00:01:27,243
whose value far exceeds
that of an aquatic blanket.
40
00:01:27,244 --> 00:01:28,511
So go to Saperstein.
41
00:01:28,512 --> 00:01:31,381
Pitch him your diaper-cream
concept this very instant!
42
00:01:31,382 --> 00:01:32,549
"Srsly"?
43
00:01:32,550 --> 00:01:34,117
Seriously.
44
00:01:34,118 --> 00:01:37,520
It's so you can breathe
under the covers, right?
45
00:01:37,521 --> 00:01:39,289
- What?
- The Blorkel.
46
00:01:39,290 --> 00:01:41,424
Oh! Yeah. Exactly.
47
00:01:41,425 --> 00:01:44,127
If I were you, I'd "Shark Tank" that one.
48
00:01:44,128 --> 00:01:45,462
Maybe I will.
49
00:01:45,463 --> 00:01:48,832
I'll give you $100 for 90% of your company!
50
00:02:09,353 --> 00:02:11,654
Thank you.
51
00:02:11,655 --> 00:02:12,655
Oopsies! Ooh.
52
00:02:12,656 --> 00:02:14,390
Yes, my oopsies, as well.
53
00:02:14,391 --> 00:02:17,160
Oh. You are Eliza Dooley's
acquaintances, are you not?
54
00:02:17,161 --> 00:02:19,095
Wren and... Prue?
55
00:02:19,096 --> 00:02:21,598
He got it right. Wow.
56
00:02:21,599 --> 00:02:23,566
We're delivering hand-crafted sandwiches
57
00:02:23,567 --> 00:02:26,703
for Bryn's artisanal farm-to-
conference-table food concept.
58
00:02:26,704 --> 00:02:29,839
Ah, yes. I hear they've amassed
quite a following upstairs.
59
00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:31,608
Wren must be enjoying a healthy profit.
60
00:02:31,609 --> 00:02:34,144
Um, actually, since we
all make the sandwiches,
61
00:02:34,145 --> 00:02:36,179
we're all enjoying profit.
62
00:02:36,180 --> 00:02:38,481
We've bucked the traditional
corporate structure
63
00:02:38,482 --> 00:02:40,617
in favor of a shared equity model, so...
64
00:02:40,618 --> 00:02:43,186
Well, good luck with that. Yeah.
65
00:02:43,187 --> 00:02:45,188
- Dig the shoes.
- Pardon?
66
00:02:45,189 --> 00:02:49,159
I said, "dig the shoes."
67
00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:51,227
- Thank you.
- Nice...
68
00:02:51,228 --> 00:02:54,764
Leather-bound early edition
copy of "Little Women."
69
00:02:54,765 --> 00:02:56,766
Yeah, I wrote an analysis of that novel
70
00:02:56,767 --> 00:02:58,568
for my women's studies thesis.
71
00:02:58,569 --> 00:03:02,172
I see. And in your thesis,
what exactly did you "thees"?
72
00:03:02,173 --> 00:03:04,474
I argued that a Jo and Laurie marriage
73
00:03:04,475 --> 00:03:06,810
would have made a superior
ending due to their obvious...
74
00:03:06,811 --> 00:03:08,678
sexual tension?
75
00:03:08,679 --> 00:03:10,146
I couldn't agree more.
76
00:03:10,147 --> 00:03:13,384
Okay, speaking of sexual
tension, you guys...
77
00:03:14,652 --> 00:03:18,188
...or is this just regular tension?
78
00:03:18,189 --> 00:03:21,324
I'm gonna head back.
79
00:03:21,325 --> 00:03:23,326
You should come by our book club, Henry.
80
00:03:23,327 --> 00:03:25,662
It should be fun to have,
like, a male perspective.
81
00:03:26,697 --> 00:03:28,498
Yeah, I-I'll think about it. Yeah.
82
00:03:28,499 --> 00:03:29,833
Aah!
83
00:03:29,834 --> 00:03:32,335
Prue, take it down six notches.
84
00:03:32,336 --> 00:03:34,537
Ahh.
85
00:03:34,538 --> 00:03:35,538
Well?
86
00:03:35,539 --> 00:03:37,273
Omg, h-dog,
87
00:03:37,274 --> 00:03:39,742
I am pumped like some re-released Reeboks.
88
00:03:39,743 --> 00:03:41,411
Tell me! I just bid on and won
89
00:03:41,412 --> 00:03:43,580
a pair of limited edish
Marc Jacobs jellies!
90
00:03:43,581 --> 00:03:45,114
Shopshifter user Babyfuzz
91
00:03:45,115 --> 00:03:47,283
can straight up suck it in some Havianas.
92
00:03:47,284 --> 00:03:49,319
I'm sorry. I-I am confused.
93
00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:50,687
She's the Ratchet I was bidding against.
94
00:03:50,688 --> 00:03:54,123
And Havianas are, like,
the every flip-flop.
95
00:03:54,124 --> 00:03:56,159
No. Eliza, what happened
with Sam Saperstein
96
00:03:56,160 --> 00:03:58,528
- when you told him your idea?
- Oh, that.
97
00:03:58,529 --> 00:04:00,597
Okay, so, I was on my way
to Saperstein's office,
98
00:04:00,598 --> 00:04:04,234
and I started think about how
"sapers" sounds like zappos...
99
00:04:04,235 --> 00:04:04,993
No, it doesn't.
100
00:04:04,994 --> 00:04:08,137
...Which in turn reminded me
that I needed a good water shoe.
101
00:04:08,138 --> 00:04:09,873
A water sh... why does
anyone need a good water...
102
00:04:09,874 --> 00:04:11,708
And I'd been fiending for those M.J.'S,
103
00:04:11,709 --> 00:04:14,143
and then it was like, "seize the day."
104
00:04:14,144 --> 00:04:15,178
You know?
105
00:04:15,179 --> 00:04:16,379
No, I don't know.
106
00:04:16,380 --> 00:04:18,715
In fact, I'm fairly certain
the "carpe Diem" philosophy
107
00:04:18,716 --> 00:04:20,783
does not apply to online shoe shopping.
108
00:04:20,784 --> 00:04:23,152
Aah!
109
00:04:23,153 --> 00:04:26,122
All right, this is not longer
an ask. This is a demand.
110
00:04:26,123 --> 00:04:28,558
Follow through on your great idea.
111
00:04:28,559 --> 00:04:30,793
I am personally walking you
over to Saperstein's office.
112
00:04:30,794 --> 00:04:32,495
Right now. Out of your chair. Let's go.
113
00:04:32,496 --> 00:04:35,298
Um, I can walk by myself,
thank you very much.
114
00:04:35,299 --> 00:04:36,633
All right. Okay?
115
00:04:36,634 --> 00:04:38,635
Oh!
116
00:04:38,636 --> 00:04:41,237
Starting now.
117
00:04:41,238 --> 00:04:42,872
And so, you'll notice my under-eye region
118
00:04:42,873 --> 00:04:45,375
is as smooth and supple
as a baby's back door.
119
00:04:45,376 --> 00:04:48,244
- The end.
- That's remarkable.
120
00:04:48,245 --> 00:04:50,546
And I love how I knew your
presentation had finished.
121
00:04:52,216 --> 00:04:54,817
Mm-hmm.
122
00:04:54,818 --> 00:04:58,588
No, don't look at me, sir. This is all her.
123
00:04:58,589 --> 00:05:00,123
Miss Dooley, if I had my druthers,
124
00:05:00,124 --> 00:05:01,357
we'd squirt diaper cream on the face
125
00:05:01,358 --> 00:05:03,526
of every woman in this country,
whether she liked it or not.
126
00:05:03,527 --> 00:05:04,694
Yikes.
127
00:05:04,695 --> 00:05:06,362
The only... problem
128
00:05:06,363 --> 00:05:08,698
is that we can't legally
advertise a product
129
00:05:08,699 --> 00:05:10,667
for something other than its intended use.
130
00:05:10,668 --> 00:05:12,302
- Oh, well.
- No. Not "oh, well."
131
00:05:12,303 --> 00:05:13,836
Never "oh, well." Okay.
132
00:05:13,837 --> 00:05:16,506
We need an unofficial
way to get the word out.
133
00:05:16,507 --> 00:05:17,640
Well, what about Twitter?
134
00:05:17,641 --> 00:05:19,309
I have hundreds of thousands of followers
135
00:05:19,310 --> 00:05:20,810
on Twitter and Instagram
136
00:05:20,811 --> 00:05:23,479
and dozens of contacts waiting
to connect with me on Linkedin.
137
00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:25,281
I can get the word out... unofficially.
138
00:05:25,282 --> 00:05:28,885
By all means, tweet, gram, uh, link in.
139
00:05:28,886 --> 00:05:30,887
Okay. You know what's happening right now?
140
00:05:30,888 --> 00:05:32,322
A brainstorming sesh.
141
00:05:32,323 --> 00:05:34,691
We're riffing. It's a riff.
142
00:05:34,692 --> 00:05:36,693
We're like a corporate jazz trio
143
00:05:36,694 --> 00:05:38,861
trying to figure out a profit tune.
144
00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:44,300
Henry on the hi-hat.
145
00:05:46,170 --> 00:05:47,503
Eliza Dooley on the French horn.
146
00:05:47,504 --> 00:05:49,172
Uh, I don't know what we're doing here.
147
00:05:49,173 --> 00:05:50,106
Solo. It's your solo.
148
00:05:53,277 --> 00:05:57,180
♪ Don't really know what
a French horn sounds like ♪
149
00:05:57,181 --> 00:05:59,182
Mr. Saperstein, there's a...
150
00:06:01,418 --> 00:06:04,420
I'm sorry. I didn't
realize you were riffing.
151
00:06:04,421 --> 00:06:06,356
I will let the board know
you're in a jazz meeting.
152
00:06:06,357 --> 00:06:09,158
Thank you, Joan.
153
00:06:14,598 --> 00:06:16,566
That night, for the first time ever,
154
00:06:16,567 --> 00:06:18,167
I took my work home with me
155
00:06:18,168 --> 00:06:20,103
and tried to come up with a hashtag
156
00:06:20,104 --> 00:06:22,271
to make Butt Eyes go viral.
157
00:06:23,607 --> 00:06:25,608
Why do people favorite
when they can re-tweet?
158
00:06:25,609 --> 00:06:28,277
Nut up, dude!
159
00:06:28,278 --> 00:06:32,415
My mom's such a coward.
160
00:06:32,416 --> 00:06:34,550
Hey, do you want to meet my mom?
161
00:06:34,551 --> 00:06:36,586
- They're in town this week.
- Hmm? Who's in town?
162
00:06:36,587 --> 00:06:37,587
My parents.
163
00:06:37,588 --> 00:06:39,889
Oh, you want me to meet the parents?
164
00:06:39,890 --> 00:06:43,192
Like in that movie, uh, "Meet the Parents"?
165
00:06:43,193 --> 00:06:47,196
Yeah. I mean, unless you're not into it.
166
00:06:47,197 --> 00:06:48,331
Hmm? I'm fully into it.
167
00:06:48,332 --> 00:06:50,233
- Yeah?
- Yeah! Hell yeah.
168
00:06:50,234 --> 00:06:51,734
- Hell yeah.
- Hmm.
169
00:06:51,735 --> 00:06:54,037
Great.
170
00:06:55,439 --> 00:06:58,541
Okay, you know what?
Hashtags would have to wait.
171
00:06:58,542 --> 00:07:00,777
I had a super-hot guy in my bed who was...
172
00:07:05,449 --> 00:07:08,451
Good morning! How are you?
But keep your answer brief,
173
00:07:08,452 --> 00:07:10,119
'cause I'm really just
waiting to tell you how I am.
174
00:07:10,120 --> 00:07:11,254
I'm fine! How are you?
175
00:07:11,255 --> 00:07:13,756
I think I'm okay, but last
night, for the first time ever,
176
00:07:13,757 --> 00:07:16,793
Freddy and I slept together
without sleeping together.
177
00:07:16,794 --> 00:07:18,194
Mm-hmm.
178
00:07:18,195 --> 00:07:21,464
Meaning I didn't ride
the pony to pound town.
179
00:07:21,465 --> 00:07:23,466
I got that.
180
00:07:23,467 --> 00:07:25,301
Well?
181
00:07:25,302 --> 00:07:27,804
Why aren't you exploding
into a million charmoniques
182
00:07:27,805 --> 00:07:29,806
and scurrying across the floor in shock?!
183
00:07:29,807 --> 00:07:31,140
Because I'm not shocked.
184
00:07:31,141 --> 00:07:33,242
It sounds like your relationship
with Freddy is maturing.
185
00:07:33,243 --> 00:07:36,112
Yeah. He asked me to meet the parents.
186
00:07:36,113 --> 00:07:38,514
Oh, you mean like in that
movie "Meet the Fockers"?
187
00:07:38,515 --> 00:07:40,149
Yeah, but back to us not having sex.
188
00:07:40,150 --> 00:07:43,352
Is that what happens
in mature relationships?
189
00:07:43,353 --> 00:07:45,254
Every relationship is different,
190
00:07:45,255 --> 00:07:47,356
but none of them are different, yes?
191
00:07:47,357 --> 00:07:49,158
That's how you know you're
on the next level, though,
192
00:07:49,159 --> 00:07:52,396
when you think about more
than just having sex with them.
193
00:07:55,799 --> 00:07:57,733
Are you thinking about
having sex with him right now?
194
00:07:57,734 --> 00:08:00,537
No!
195
00:08:01,238 --> 00:08:03,407
Okay, get away from my desk.
196
00:08:12,382 --> 00:08:13,850
Hi.
197
00:08:13,851 --> 00:08:15,418
God!
198
00:08:15,419 --> 00:08:18,121
God! My heart is racing.
199
00:08:18,122 --> 00:08:20,156
Mine, too. Workplace rendezvous?
200
00:08:20,157 --> 00:08:22,191
This is not a rendezvous.
201
00:08:22,192 --> 00:08:23,832
Technically, any meeting is a rendezvous.
202
00:08:25,229 --> 00:08:26,529
Touché.
203
00:08:26,530 --> 00:08:28,731
And additionally, please leave.
204
00:08:28,732 --> 00:08:30,399
I'm sorry?
205
00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:33,269
I'm sorry, Wren, but I learned
in my women's studies seminar
206
00:08:33,270 --> 00:08:35,838
that no one likes to be falsely encouraged.
207
00:08:35,839 --> 00:08:38,541
So I must respectfully express
that I am not interested
208
00:08:38,542 --> 00:08:41,511
in forging a romantic convergence.
209
00:08:41,512 --> 00:08:43,179
With you.
210
00:08:43,180 --> 00:08:44,680
Yeah. Got it.
211
00:08:44,681 --> 00:08:48,318
Thanks for being so frank.
212
00:08:49,753 --> 00:08:52,588
Wren, hold on a second.
213
00:08:57,561 --> 00:09:00,310
I'm not really a muffin guy, so...
214
00:09:08,855 --> 00:09:10,689
Sir, Charlie said you wanted to see me?
215
00:09:10,690 --> 00:09:12,730
Uh, yes. That's exactly
what I told him to say.
216
00:09:13,627 --> 00:09:16,095
Come in. Take a seat.
217
00:09:17,264 --> 00:09:19,131
Henry, I just wanted to thank you
218
00:09:19,132 --> 00:09:22,101
for the tremendous work you've
been doing with Eliza. Oh.
219
00:09:22,102 --> 00:09:25,271
I took the liberty of ordering
us a celebratory Sammie.
220
00:09:25,272 --> 00:09:26,705
Oh, cheers. Very kind of you, sir.
221
00:09:28,508 --> 00:09:30,209
You know, Henry, I
don't know the difference
222
00:09:30,210 --> 00:09:31,710
between a panini and a Pokémon.
223
00:09:31,711 --> 00:09:33,112
You don't?
224
00:09:33,113 --> 00:09:36,148
But I do know this little
piece of edible sunshine
225
00:09:36,149 --> 00:09:38,083
is the highlight of my day.
226
00:09:38,084 --> 00:09:39,185
Hmm.
227
00:09:39,186 --> 00:09:41,554
Mmm.
228
00:09:47,427 --> 00:09:49,094
Sir?
229
00:09:49,095 --> 00:09:53,299
Are you... are you all right?
Is there something wrong?
230
00:09:54,467 --> 00:09:56,635
E-everything's wrong.
231
00:09:56,636 --> 00:09:58,304
Everything!
232
00:09:58,305 --> 00:10:02,274
The old sandwich was
sweet, salty, creamy, crisp.
233
00:10:02,275 --> 00:10:06,312
She was a... a toothsome
journey. But this? Th...
234
00:10:06,313 --> 00:10:08,347
it's...
235
00:10:08,348 --> 00:10:11,050
Excuse me.
236
00:10:14,221 --> 00:10:16,455
Ah, yes. Hello.
237
00:10:16,456 --> 00:10:18,457
I just picked up two
of your artisan sammies,
238
00:10:18,458 --> 00:10:19,658
and I'm just wondering
239
00:10:19,659 --> 00:10:21,293
if we're up against some
sort of chutney issue.
240
00:10:21,294 --> 00:10:23,429
I see.
241
00:10:23,430 --> 00:10:27,600
Right. Well, uh, thank
you for the explanation.
242
00:10:32,539 --> 00:10:34,407
Hmm.
243
00:10:36,142 --> 00:10:37,776
What is the explanation?
244
00:10:37,777 --> 00:10:40,246
Well, Henry, it's a tale as old as time.
245
00:10:40,247 --> 00:10:43,249
Girl makes sandwich, sandwich is delicious,
246
00:10:43,250 --> 00:10:46,218
boy breaks girl's heart,
girl makes new sandwich
247
00:10:46,219 --> 00:10:48,120
which tastes like ground-up pigeon beak.
248
00:10:48,121 --> 00:10:50,456
And I don't think I need to
tell you how this story ends.
249
00:10:50,457 --> 00:10:52,758
You actually do, sir.
250
00:10:52,759 --> 00:10:56,262
Boy fixes sandwich, Henry.
251
00:10:56,263 --> 00:11:00,599
Boy fixes sandwich.
252
00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:03,435
All I said was that I wasn't
interested in her romantically.
253
00:11:03,436 --> 00:11:05,537
It's not what you said.
It's how you said it.
254
00:11:05,538 --> 00:11:07,706
Come on! What? I'm willing to pay double
255
00:11:07,707 --> 00:11:10,309
if we can have the old,
toothsome sandwiches back.
256
00:11:10,310 --> 00:11:11,744
Our cooperative doesn't bend
257
00:11:11,745 --> 00:11:13,612
to the pressure of the almighty dollar.
258
00:11:13,613 --> 00:11:15,447
Fine.
259
00:11:15,448 --> 00:11:18,150
What if you tell me the ingredients
260
00:11:18,151 --> 00:11:20,586
so I can make the sandwich for him myself?
261
00:11:20,587 --> 00:11:22,154
Oh, and if I just gave you some brushes,
262
00:11:22,155 --> 00:11:23,489
could you paint the "Mona Lisa"?
263
00:11:23,490 --> 00:11:27,493
Uh... I think this is a little different.
264
00:11:27,494 --> 00:11:29,963
Out.
265
00:11:31,631 --> 00:11:32,798
Come on.
266
00:11:37,304 --> 00:11:40,472
All I was trying to do was
be honest about my feelings.
267
00:11:40,473 --> 00:11:42,775
It's great that you can be
so honest about your feelings,
268
00:11:42,776 --> 00:11:45,110
even if it means hurting someone else's.
269
00:11:45,111 --> 00:11:46,445
Thank you.
270
00:11:46,446 --> 00:11:48,347
I meant that as a burn.
271
00:11:48,348 --> 00:11:50,215
Meant mine as a burn, too.
272
00:11:50,216 --> 00:11:52,552
"Thank you" was your burn?!
273
00:11:53,753 --> 00:11:56,121
Per Henry's instructions,
274
00:11:56,122 --> 00:11:58,424
I was trying to follow through
on my diaper-cream idea,
275
00:11:58,425 --> 00:12:01,895
which meant another
late night at the office.
276
00:12:03,863 --> 00:12:05,731
What are you still doing here?
277
00:12:05,732 --> 00:12:09,234
Okay. All my push notifications
are now diaper-face related.
278
00:12:09,235 --> 00:12:11,203
We're trending on
Pinterest's life hack board.
279
00:12:11,204 --> 00:12:13,539
And I was just re-tweeted by the
Gay Men's Chorus of Los Angeles.
280
00:12:13,540 --> 00:12:14,707
Aah!
281
00:12:14,708 --> 00:12:16,842
Wow, look at you.
282
00:12:16,843 --> 00:12:19,378
Working late. I've never
seen this side of you before.
283
00:12:19,379 --> 00:12:21,380
Hey, did you know there's
this guy that comes through
284
00:12:21,381 --> 00:12:23,716
and empties every trash
into one giant trash?
285
00:12:23,717 --> 00:12:26,118
He's like reverse Santa of garbage.
286
00:12:26,119 --> 00:12:27,686
Yes, he's the janitor.
287
00:12:27,687 --> 00:12:29,421
So, I shouldn't leave cookies for him?
288
00:12:29,422 --> 00:12:31,290
No, he sees cookies as more work. In fact,
289
00:12:31,291 --> 00:12:33,759
cookies are just something
else that he has to throw away.
290
00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:35,427
Well, I'm just gonna print off this report
291
00:12:35,428 --> 00:12:37,262
illustrating my progress for Saperstein
292
00:12:37,263 --> 00:12:40,232
and then race off to dinner
with Freddy's parents.
293
00:12:40,233 --> 00:12:43,469
Freddy asked you to meet his parents?
294
00:12:44,337 --> 00:12:46,472
Unless you think I should cancel.
295
00:12:46,473 --> 00:12:49,475
I don't want you to say
I'm not following through.
296
00:12:49,476 --> 00:12:52,211
As someone who has spent
far too many nights alone
297
00:12:52,212 --> 00:12:54,279
with the reverse garbage
Santa, I can tell you
298
00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:56,348
that following through on personal stuff
299
00:12:56,349 --> 00:12:58,684
is just as important.
300
00:12:58,685 --> 00:13:02,287
So, why are you still
here and not with Julia?
301
00:13:02,288 --> 00:13:05,624
Because Julia is a workaholic, like me.
302
00:13:05,625 --> 00:13:07,459
I guess that's why we're
perfect for each other
303
00:13:07,460 --> 00:13:08,660
and seldom together.
304
00:13:09,763 --> 00:13:13,465
Meeting the parents.
305
00:13:13,466 --> 00:13:15,234
Yeah. Wow. Things are getting "srs."
306
00:13:15,235 --> 00:13:17,302
"Srsly."
307
00:13:20,774 --> 00:13:24,974
Eliza, try to stay off the phone tonight.
308
00:13:25,178 --> 00:13:27,713
The only thing that should be
glowing at that table is you.
309
00:13:27,714 --> 00:13:29,214
Glowing.
310
00:13:30,250 --> 00:13:32,451
I hope I'm dressed okay.
311
00:13:32,452 --> 00:13:35,187
I don't exactly have time
to go home and change.
312
00:13:35,188 --> 00:13:36,422
You want to borrow my coat?
313
00:13:36,423 --> 00:13:38,791
Hmm. Maybe.
314
00:13:41,261 --> 00:13:43,262
Here you go.
315
00:13:43,263 --> 00:13:46,566
Turn around. Right.
316
00:13:50,136 --> 00:13:51,971
Well? How do I look?
317
00:13:55,108 --> 00:13:56,442
Wow.
318
00:13:56,443 --> 00:13:58,444
Little bit of you, little bit of me.
319
00:13:58,445 --> 00:14:01,447
That seems to be the winning combination.
320
00:14:07,187 --> 00:14:10,823
As I drove to meet Freddy and his parents,
321
00:14:10,824 --> 00:14:13,192
I thought about what Henry had said.
322
00:14:17,430 --> 00:14:21,467
Some moments are worth
putting your phone down for.
323
00:14:23,169 --> 00:14:26,638
But more and more, we forget to.
324
00:14:26,639 --> 00:14:30,108
Hi. Um, I'm joining them.
325
00:14:30,109 --> 00:14:31,777
Thank you.
326
00:14:34,714 --> 00:14:36,215
It was starting to feel like
327
00:14:36,216 --> 00:14:39,084
the world was divided into
two groups of people...
328
00:14:39,085 --> 00:14:43,222
those on their phones and
those not on their phones.
329
00:14:43,223 --> 00:14:47,226
But suddenly, it was like
the blue haze had lifted.
330
00:14:47,227 --> 00:14:48,393
Hi!
331
00:14:48,394 --> 00:14:50,229
- Oh, hey. Eliza.
- Hi! Oh, hi.
332
00:14:50,230 --> 00:14:52,397
Wow, she is even more
beautiful than on Instagram.
333
00:14:52,398 --> 00:14:53,665
Oh.
334
00:14:53,666 --> 00:14:55,167
We started following you a few weeks ago
335
00:14:55,168 --> 00:14:56,768
when Freddy tagged you in one of his pics.
336
00:14:56,769 --> 00:14:58,136
Ah!
337
00:14:58,137 --> 00:15:00,372
- #stalkers.
- #guilty.
338
00:15:00,373 --> 00:15:02,841
Okay, Eliza, this incredibly
Internet-savvy couple
339
00:15:02,842 --> 00:15:05,577
happens to be my parents...
this is Brandon and Maisy.
340
00:15:05,578 --> 00:15:07,746
Hi. Brandon and... and Maisy?
341
00:15:07,747 --> 00:15:11,283
Uh, you do realize your
couple name is Mais-'n-bran.
342
00:15:11,284 --> 00:15:12,618
Oh, my God. That is fantastic.
343
00:15:12,619 --> 00:15:14,286
- I love it.
- I love it!
344
00:15:14,287 --> 00:15:16,088
Huh? I mean, no wonder
you're together, right?
345
00:15:16,089 --> 00:15:17,623
What's our couple name?
346
00:15:17,624 --> 00:15:21,093
Um, uh, fry... Za. Fryza.
347
00:15:21,094 --> 00:15:22,261
Fryza?
348
00:15:22,262 --> 00:15:24,096
Yeah. Yeah.
349
00:15:24,097 --> 00:15:26,598
F-fryza. Yeah, fryza.
350
00:15:26,599 --> 00:15:29,101
Sure.
351
00:15:29,102 --> 00:15:30,602
It wasn't just that our couple name
352
00:15:30,603 --> 00:15:32,437
sounded like a German curse word.
353
00:15:32,438 --> 00:15:35,407
It was the fact that 90% of
the time I spent with Freddy,
354
00:15:35,408 --> 00:15:36,742
we were either doing this...
355
00:15:53,259 --> 00:15:56,295
...and that he eats his bread like this.
356
00:15:57,430 --> 00:15:58,630
Mm! Are we ready to order?
357
00:15:58,631 --> 00:16:00,766
Madame?
358
00:16:00,767 --> 00:16:03,268
Oh, uh... I'm not sure what I want.
359
00:16:04,604 --> 00:16:06,605
Can you come back to me?
360
00:16:06,606 --> 00:16:08,407
- Honey?
- Um, I'm gonna do the salmon.
361
00:16:08,408 --> 00:16:09,741
Oh, yeah. Salmon, please.
362
00:16:09,742 --> 00:16:12,110
Make it three. Salmon sounds great.
363
00:16:12,111 --> 00:16:14,511
You won't be disappointed.
That's what we're famous for.
364
00:16:15,481 --> 00:16:19,117
I don't know why I'm having so much trouble
365
00:16:19,118 --> 00:16:22,621
committing to something
that sounds so... great.
366
00:16:22,622 --> 00:16:25,123
Do some people not like the salmon?
367
00:16:25,124 --> 00:16:27,292
Oh, no. Everyone loves the salmon.
368
00:16:27,293 --> 00:16:29,127
And, in theory, I should, too.
369
00:16:29,128 --> 00:16:31,163
It's just that I've had
a lot of salmon recently.
370
00:16:31,164 --> 00:16:33,365
And I kind of feel like I've
gotten all I can get out of salmon,
371
00:16:33,366 --> 00:16:36,635
and I may just have lost my taste for...
372
00:16:36,636 --> 00:16:38,303
Salmon entirely.
373
00:16:39,472 --> 00:16:41,807
I mean, look. There are
other fish in the sea.
374
00:16:41,808 --> 00:16:44,843
I mean, if salmon doesn't feel right,
375
00:16:44,844 --> 00:16:46,845
then you probably shouldn't force it.
376
00:16:46,846 --> 00:16:49,514
It was one of the best pieces of advice
377
00:16:49,515 --> 00:16:51,283
a waiter had ever given me.
378
00:16:51,284 --> 00:16:53,452
Liza? You okay?
379
00:16:55,855 --> 00:16:58,123
Mais-'n-bran,
I'm really sorry.
380
00:16:58,124 --> 00:17:00,859
Uh, your son is smoking hot,
381
00:17:00,860 --> 00:17:04,530
and we have obscene sexual
chemistry. We're just not...
382
00:17:07,100 --> 00:17:09,101
We're not a winning combination.
383
00:17:09,102 --> 00:17:12,839
A-are you dumping me?
384
00:17:14,140 --> 00:17:17,075
I'm really sorry.
385
00:17:17,076 --> 00:17:18,845
Eliza...
386
00:17:20,513 --> 00:17:22,147
Eliza!
387
00:17:26,252 --> 00:17:28,454
So, just three salmons, then?
388
00:17:29,924 --> 00:17:32,724
Of all the people to die, why Claire Danes?
389
00:17:32,725 --> 00:17:35,227
- Prue! Prue, you can't do that!
- I also read it.
390
00:17:35,228 --> 00:17:37,362
I just always picture Beth as Claire Danes.
391
00:17:38,398 --> 00:17:40,198
I think it's great that Beth died.
392
00:17:40,199 --> 00:17:42,567
I'm actually super happy for Beth.
393
00:17:42,568 --> 00:17:44,302
I mean, dying from scarlet fever
394
00:17:44,303 --> 00:17:48,140
sounds better than being
ignored on match.com every night.
395
00:17:56,349 --> 00:17:58,517
Too late for one more?
396
00:18:02,488 --> 00:18:06,224
I'm sure you don't still want
me to join your book club, Wren,
397
00:18:06,225 --> 00:18:09,795
but, um... I re-read my thesis,
398
00:18:09,796 --> 00:18:11,396
and it is hogwash.
399
00:18:11,397 --> 00:18:15,267
Jo and Laurie are meant to be friends,
400
00:18:15,268 --> 00:18:17,569
and Laurie is seeing someone else.
401
00:18:17,570 --> 00:18:20,172
You see, Wren? Laurie doesn't hate Jo.
402
00:18:20,173 --> 00:18:22,074
Laurie is just in a relationship.
403
00:18:22,075 --> 00:18:26,111
And make no mistake, Laurie is
not physically attracted to Jo.
404
00:18:26,112 --> 00:18:30,082
But Laurie certainly did
not need to just say that.
405
00:18:30,083 --> 00:18:31,116
Agreed.
406
00:18:31,117 --> 00:18:33,419
Laurie still has some work left to do.
407
00:18:34,253 --> 00:18:36,088
I'm sorry, Wren.
408
00:18:36,089 --> 00:18:38,090
And not just in a self-serving,
409
00:18:38,091 --> 00:18:39,791
I-want-your-sandwich kind of way.
410
00:18:39,792 --> 00:18:42,495
I didn't mean to hurt your
feelings. I really didn't.
411
00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:50,669
Apology accepted.
412
00:18:50,670 --> 00:18:52,772
Thank you.
413
00:18:54,807 --> 00:18:57,275
Oh, and, uh...
414
00:18:57,276 --> 00:18:59,611
One more thing. Bryn?
415
00:18:59,612 --> 00:19:01,346
Yeah?
416
00:19:01,347 --> 00:19:04,182
For someone with such a large welcome mat,
417
00:19:04,183 --> 00:19:07,519
you aren't very welcoming.
418
00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:09,254
Burn returned, my dear.
419
00:19:09,255 --> 00:19:12,391
That's your burn?
420
00:19:13,493 --> 00:19:16,461
How long did it take
you to come up with that?
421
00:19:16,462 --> 00:19:18,463
With my phone off for almost...
422
00:19:18,464 --> 00:19:20,799
I don't know how long
because my phone was off...
423
00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:24,169
it was just me and this one
thought that I couldn't shake.
424
00:19:24,170 --> 00:19:26,638
The only person who I wasn't hiding from,
425
00:19:26,639 --> 00:19:30,839
the only person who had ever
seen me with no #filter was...
426
00:19:35,314 --> 00:19:37,182
- Henry.
- Hey.
427
00:19:37,183 --> 00:19:38,784
How did it go with Freddy?
428
00:19:38,785 --> 00:19:42,985
It went exactly... like it was supposed to.
429
00:19:43,790 --> 00:19:45,925
Oh, good.
430
00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:50,762
Glad to hear it. Have a great night.
431
00:19:53,733 --> 00:19:56,469
Henry. Wait.
432
00:19:59,639 --> 00:20:01,807
I want to give you your jacket back.
433
00:20:01,808 --> 00:20:05,177
You can just give it to me tomorrow.
434
00:20:08,114 --> 00:20:09,781
No.
435
00:20:09,782 --> 00:20:13,852
I really want to give it to you tonight.
436
00:20:38,678 --> 00:20:40,712
No, I'm not.
437
00:20:44,383 --> 00:20:46,218
I have to go feed my cat.
438
00:20:47,620 --> 00:20:49,955
You don't have a cat.
439
00:20:59,832 --> 00:21:02,267
I don't understand what
the point of this button is!
440
00:21:10,509 --> 00:21:12,544
I wasn't discouraged.
441
00:21:12,545 --> 00:21:14,546
Henry had taught me to follow
through on my good ideas,
442
00:21:14,547 --> 00:21:17,682
and this one was even
better than the Blorkel.
443
00:21:17,683 --> 00:21:20,418
Henry and I were going to be together...
444
00:21:20,419 --> 00:21:23,322
Or else.
445
00:21:24,413 --> 00:21:30,797
Subtitle sync and corrections by
awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
www.tvsubtitles.net
32760
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.